#you know I think there are two daily accounts of joel on tumblr

[daily-smallishbeans]

Day 40– God‐ish

and you get jitties and YOU get jitties

[artificialqueens]

i don't want to be alone anymore (branjie) -- frenchy

a/n: hi hi!! i want to thank you all for the love on my first part of this story, i appreciate that more than you know!!! i decided to give it a second part, though both can be read on their own. & yes i am running this billy joel song title theme with the names. ps. i can be found at alaskathunder on tumblr & also now at frenchys on ao3, where these will end up eventually, along with others, i definitely plan to write more things & pairings soon. hope y'all enjoy, angels!! <3

@Bhytes1: @VanessaVanjie I’m going to Starbucks you want something?

*****

Brooke wasn’t sure how they did it, how they proceeded to shamelessly flirt online as if their private kiss hadn’t even happened only a few nights ago. If it wasn’t for the video evidence, she could have sworn that entire night was a fever dream. Part of her almost wished that she didn’t remember it so vividly, that the way Vanessa touched her and kissed her with no audience wasn’t so detailed in her head. Wished she didn’t have to stop herself from smiling when she remembered it.

It was one thing remembering and thinking about the kiss – she couldn’t change that that happened, and that she didn’t stop it. If anything, she wanted it. She knew it was partly on her for leaning into it, and for getting upset that it hadn’t lasted even longer. She couldn’t blame Vanessa for that. But she could blame Vanessa for what she said.

“At some point we have to quit pretending like this is only for the fans.”

If Brooke thought she was over analyzing these social media interactions before, she was even more fucked now. She only assumed this is how the fans felt on the daily, trying to decipher everything, trying to figure out if this was all Vanessa playing into the contract or using it to hint at how she really felt. How she still felt.

It was futile to put any music on as she took her time getting into drag for the viewing party tonight, where she’d be joining Phi Phi O’hara in a screening of episode 5 – the Monster Ball. No attempts at turning up said music could stop her mind from being only focused on Vanessa, on the moment they shared, on the fact that she had to spend another night reliving the honeymoon phase of their relationship on a giant screen in front of an audience.

Just as Brooke anticipated, it was rough. No. Rough was an understatement. She was conscious of how often she gazed dreamily into the screen, star-eyed. Watching them kiss, and comfort each other, and not be able to predict their fate.

She didn’t expect anyone else to notice, too.

“Can I ask you something? Without you getting defensive?” Phi Phi asked after the episode and Brooke’s consequent performance, standing against the closed dressing room door. She kept her distance, her prodding question accompanied by a sensitive color in her voice. Brooke knew she was trying her best to sound open minded, borderline empathetic.

Brooke sighed. “Shoot,” she encouraged the other queen, but didn’t look up. Phi Phi’s second question was enough to warn her that this wouldn’t be a lighthearted conversation.

“If it wasn’t for the fans. Or the publicity, or the ratings, or the – you get the point,” Phi Phi cut herself off, presuming that Brooke heard enough synonyms. “Would you care?”

Brooke stopped fiddling with her bobby pin, blinking up at Phi Phi through the mirror. “What do you mean?”

“Would you be able to stop all this weird, mysterious twitter stuff tomorrow and not give it a second thought?” Phi Phi wasn’t sure if Brooke was just deflecting, or if she was really that far removed from reality and genuinely needed the simplifying. “Not miss him in your life?” At the use of ‘him’, Brooke knew this was deeper than just not having Vanjie as a fellow queen and friend. “I know it’s none of my business, but if you could see what I saw – the way you watched that episode out there tonight – you’d be asking the same thing.” Phi Phi shrugged, and Brooke hated her for it. She hated how easily Phi Phi could get into her head and understand. Worst of all, she hated how Phi Phi saw it her duty to confront Brooke about it. Maybe she’d thank her in the future, but for now she was brimming with frustration.

“I don’t know. I don’t know, okay?” Another sigh, this one inspired by her own irritation and defeat. “One second we’re flirting and both understanding that we need to stop it before it goes too far. The next we’re –” Brooke stopped, closing her eyes as to stop herself from admitting to Phi Phi what went down the other night. Was it even a big deal? As big as she was clearly making it in her own mind?

“You’re…?” Phi Phi lifted an eyebrow, coaxing Brooke’s frustrated rant. Feelings could be spared for the truth.

Brooke took a deep breath, steadying herself, hands planted onto the table. “We kissed. Like, actually kissed. And I don’t know what her intentions are.”

“Well, I recommend figuring that out. Maybe talk to her? You guys are clearly not on awful terms, how hard could that be?” Phi Phi pressed.

You have no idea, Brooke thought. “Yeah, I’ll try. Thanks, girl,” Brooke smiled at Phi Phi, hoping her appreciation was evident.

*****

She was thrilled to finally share the photos taken of her Monster Ball looks, looks that proved successful in the challenge. She was especially thrilled at the comments regarding her final look, the one that she had fabricated herself. A storm of tulle and black fabric, off the shoulder, with a snake wrapped tastefully around her neck. The more she looked at it, the more critical, but she would defend her win.

She scrolled through the comments, smiling at the sufficient compliments and praise. How would she ever stop being appreciative of everyone who appreciated her back?

Her finger stopped scrolling upon seeing Vanessa’s Instagram handle, a blue check verifying it wasn’t a fan account.

@vanessavanjie: Put my snake around ya neck

She didn’t know whether to like it, comment some orange heart emojis and move on or to roll her eyes after what had happened the other night.

She chose a third option.

If Vanjie wants to keep playing this, then fine. I’ll play along, she thought before hitting send on the comment.

@bhytes: @vanessavanjie haven’t we already done that?

Brooke barely had time to think about the repercussions of her remark before she received a text, shocked at the speed at which Vanessa saw the comment.

Vanjie: Careful there Brooky Poo

Vanjie: Don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea

Brooke felt her heart rate speed up with no gradual increase, immediately beating fast enough to shatter through her rib-cage and land across the room only upon reading Vanessa’s messages. She took a deep breath and typed, then retyped her message a few times, wondering if Vanessa was watching the dots disappear and reappear. Wondering if it was killing her just as much as it was Brooke. When did they turn into giddy teenagers again, instead of professionals with a common goal?

Brooke: What if i do?

She decided against adding a winking face to the end of her reply, but it didn’t stop her from immediately locking her phone and throwing it to her side. God, she needed a cigarette. And maybe a cold shower now. She’d revisit that idea depending on what her phone read next.

As if on cue, she heard the buzz of the phone ring through the bed. She took a minute to gather herself – or prepare herself was maybe the better way to put it. With a reluctance she could only blame on her fear of misunderstanding, Brooke let her hand approach her phone again. It was silly, she thought, how she could fear misunderstanding Vanessa’s intentions even after her initiation of the kiss making it fairly clear how she felt about them.

Vanjie: Oh

Two minutes ago. Brooke tried to ignore the way her heart dropped at the one-word answer; one she couldn’t even see herself replying to in a way that made sense. Maybe it was best left there, and Vanessa really was just adding a playful comment that held no substance.

She was moments away from plugging her phone in for the night and setting it aside with an air of defeat, when it buzzed in her hand. A message from Vanessa. She held her breath as she slid to open it.

Vanjie: You home?

She never exhaled quicker, and never replied quicker, either.

Brooke: Text me when you’re here.

Brooke couldn’t have anticipated what came over her to make her invite Vanessa to come over, if not beg her to come, following her last text with a sharing of her location and hotel room number. All she could do was thank the universe that they were in the same city, which was rare considering their consistent interviews, appearances and performances.

She didn’t think she had been this nervous about something since they first began seeing each other, minus possibly the night that the cast was revealed. And deep within she knew that perhaps her nerves were fruitless – what guaranteed that she and Vanessa would even do anything beyond talk? She wouldn’t dare get her hopes up based on an Instagram comment that was no different than their usual flirt-mance. But she also knew that she had to take this opportunity to confront this, whatever it was.

It wasn’t long before she heard a faint, yet urgent, knock on the door, though it felt like forever. Rolling her eyes, Brooke made her way to the door to the room, opening it with a look of counterfeit annoyance. “I told you to text me when you got here, bitch.”

“Shut up,” Vanessa was quiet, fondness diminishing the harshness of her words. “Can I come in or not?”

Brooke stepped aside, allowing Vanessa to pass her and enter the dimly lit hotel room. Brooke watched her for a moment, so caught up in the way she smelled and the way her hat sat backwards on her head in the most endearing way possible that she almost forgot to close the door.

“Don’t forget to put the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign out,” Vanessa called behind her, laughing to herself before taking a seat on the edge of the bed, looking up at Brooke, who followed her into the larger area. Vanessa’s laugh didn’t linger after seeing Brooke’s humorless expression. “I was kidding.”

“You have no idea how hard it was, Vanjie, to watch that episode up there. Phi Phi actually clocked me, y’know. The way I looked at you up there. No doubt some of the fans did, too. It was the hardest thing. You don’t even know.”

“You think I wasn’t watching the same episode? I never said it was easy for me, Brooke,” Vanessa didn’t let her continue, nor did she let the incredulous laugh leave her lips, in fear of making Brooke more upset. “I don’t like watching it either.”

“I think I’m confused,” Brooke didn’t mean to change the topic so abruptly, but this had been bugging her for days. “This was your idea. It was your idea to take a break – said you knew the ‘pressures that came with TV’,” Brooke’s immediate dive into the deep end caught Vanessa off guard. If she knew that her visit would turn into her own interrogation, she would have stayed home. “You were the one who said this wouldn’t work, Jose,” Brooke stood her ground, arms folded across her chest. Vanessa didn’t like the way she looked down upon her. Cringed at the way her real name was used. “Why the change of heart?”

“It’s not a change of heart,” Vanessa countered, eyes lit with a newfound boldness. “It’s the… same heart, just. Tired of hiding it. Which, we can keep doing it, we don’t gotta tell anyone anything. But, B,” she stood then, moving to take hold of Brooke’s hands, forcing her to uncross her arms. “I’m not a fan of us lying to ourselves, to each other.”

“Yeah? And when you tweet another flirty reply or comment something on my next live, then what? I’m not a fan of not being able to tell the real from the fake.”

“Tell me this is fake,” Vanessa was calm when she said it, her words and the way she slid her hand to the back of Brooke’s neck serving as the only preparation for the way she brought their lips together. Brooke couldn’t act surprised, like she didn’t anticipate this after their texts and intuition that what happened in that office wasn’t a one-off thing. Her expectation helped her react faster this time, without letting Vanessa end the moment before Brooke had a chance to take action. It was a much necessary continuation of what they didn’t get to finish prior to Vanessa’s performance.

Her frustration, her passion, her longing all charged Brooke into flipping their positions, hands on Vanessa’s shoulders as she held the shorter man against the wall she had been leaning against, prompting a whimper to pass between them from Vanjie’s lips. This was no sweet reunion kiss, but one that had been months in the making.

Brooke could feel Vanessa’s smile after they parted, nothing but heat in the space between them (or lack thereof), their lips still phantoms on each other. “I’m waiting,” she whispered against Brooke’s lips, all victorious smiles. “Tell me.”

“Didn’t you already try this the other day?” Brooke didn’t return her smile, but Vanessa could hear it in her voice.

“Worked, didn’t it?” She carded her hand through the barely-there hair at the back of Brooke’s neck, oblivious to how badly Brooke wanted to kiss that damn smirk off her face. “All you been thinking about, isn’t it? Our kiss?” Brooke tried to step back, though she still felt Vanessa’s hand on her, the other one now coming up to rest on Brooke’s waist. “Shit, I gotta say, though, I think I liked this one better.”

“Yeah?” Brooke cursed herself for the teasing spirit in her voice, but for some reason, she couldn’t help it. Something about Vanessa was electrifying, intoxicating her even after a year. Kicking all her resolve and purpose under the hotel carpet.

“Mhmm,” Vanjie’s eyes lay heavy-lidded, her hunger telling through her gaze. Brooke knew due to her makeup-free face that her bedroom eyes weren’t painted on deliberately. She also knew that she held the same ache in her own body, wondered if her own eyes were as teasing as her voice. “You wanna Instagram live this or somethin’?”

Brooke found herself laughing more at the way Vanessa’s suggestive voice didn’t match her sarcastic question rather than the implication itself. “Oh, fuck off,” she laughed under her breath, swatting Vanjie’s chest as gently as possible, her hand lingering there. They both glanced down at the contact, reminding Brooke of the way their eyes had been jointly fixed on Vanessa’s hand in the room at the club, mindlessly tracing patterns into Brooke’s leg. But there was somehow more tension now, the tension only slightly more comfortable than it had been before. Less fear, but just as much caution and the question of ‘What are we doing?’ not yet obsolete.

It was Brooke who leaned in first this time with little hesitance, hand spreading out more against Vanessa’s chest, twisting delicately in her shirt. Her kisses transferred from lips, to cheek, to jaw, then placing open mouthed kisses along the shorter queen’s neck, evoking a throaty moan above her.

“C’mere,” Brooke wondered if she only imagined the rasped whisper, and she blinked back up at Vanessa, who looked desperate. Brooke noted the way her tattoo was coated red under the flush on her neck and chest, only the top of it visible from under her black T-shirt. She noted the way Vanessa’s breathing was ragged. She looked so fucked, so in disarray, and they hadn’t even taken their shirts off yet.

Brooke’s stomach knotted at just the suggestion that she had that power.

Vanessa pulled her back up, hands coming to hold the sides of Brooke’s face and kissing her with a passion that they hadn’t yet reached before. It was a kiss that guaranteed to Brooke that this wasn’t a convenient fuck, or make out, or just Vanessa feeling lonely.

“I have a flight tonight,” Brooke broke between their kiss and their gasping for breath. “God, I’d give anything to stay here. You know that, right?” She studied Vanjie’s eyes, needed to know that Vanessa understood her intentions. She’d rather do anything than have to look at the pout she looked at now on Vanessa’s face.

“You could stay. What’s one flight?” Vanessa whined, pressing kisses along Brooke’s jaw, her knee pushing between the other’s legs. “I miss you,” she breathed against Brooke’s ear, arms enveloping the taller man.

“You know it’s not that easy. This isn’t stuff we can put off, not like we put off each other. I wish I didn’t have to leave you.”

Vanessa sighed and slumped back against the wall, a hand coming up to run through her hair after the other had lifted her hat off. The broken connection between Vanessa’s flushed face and body, and her disappointed expression, broke Brooke’s heart more than she thought it would.

“That’s cool. I said what I said, and I know now that you’re not so innocent yourself, Miss Brooke Lynn, just like I said so,” Vanessa pointed a finger into Brooke’s chest accusingly, her eyes sparkling with warmth. “Who’s right again? Miss Vanessa Vanjie Isabella Mateo Hytes. Bam!” With a snap of her fingers, Vanessa pulled away from Brooke’s grasp, sliding against the wall she had been held against and back towards the door. Brooke watched her gather her things – her phone, only.

“Where are you going?”

Vanessa turned back around, puzzled. “You said you got a flight tonight. I can’t come with you.”

Brooke mimicked Vanjie’s pout from before, sitting herself down on the side of the bed and extending her arms. “You said you missed me. You made it very clear. My flight’s not until later tonight. You can stay. Until then, I mean. I want you to.”

And who was Vanessa to refuse that invitation.

[cipherr]

1-26, 37-45, 70-92, 94. :)

OMG THANK YOU sorry it took me so long to get to this :’)) I WAS PLAYING STAR WARS LOL

under a cut bc... loNG....

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? i actually don’t use any of these and never have LOL

is your room messy or clean?it is...incredibly messy....-sweats-

what color are your eyes?i always say they’re greyish blue? like def blue but not BLUE blue, so i dunno. depends on the lighting of course.

do you like your name? why?iiiii hate it :’) i just think it’s not very pretty sounding, and no one ever pronounces it right for some reason even though yOU’D THINK IT’D BE PRETTY OBVIOUS. so it gets mispronounced and misspelled all the time and i’m just over it tbh

what is your relationship status? single as fucc my dudes

describe your personality in 3 words or lessfriendly, shy, weird??? idk :’D

what color hair do you have?naturally it’s kind of a medium brown but i have the bottom half bleached blonde, i’m hoping to get more blonde tho

what kind of car do you drive? color?a pearl white Subaru SVX c:

where do you shop?i don’t really have any specific stores because there isn’t anything in my hometown lmao everything i wear at this point in my life was either given as a gift or t-shirts/hoodies from high school/dance class/college/etc, idk i’m a mess

how would you describe your style?Comfortable Depression(TM)

favorite social media accountas in like, a famous person’s social media account? or social media in general? i love Mark Hamill’s twitter and tumblr is my fave site, so :’D

what size bed do you have? full

any siblings?two half sisters, a half brother, a step brother

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?i just want a cabin in a forest on a mountain, i literally don’t care where, that’s ALL I WANT

favorite snapchat filter? i always like the kitty ones c:

favorite makeup brand(s)i’m not really into makeup lmao i use whatever i can find at walmart basically, i’m a cheap bitch

how many times a week do you shower?3 unless i’m actually doing stuff and getting gross

favorite tv show?i haven’t watched tv in a long-ass time LMAO i guess i like Say Yes to the Dress? and also those stupid paranormal investigation shows, i don’t even remember what any of them are called but i always get a kick out of those lol

shoe size?like...5 1/2.... don’t lauGH AT MY TINY FEET

how tall are you?5′1, which explains my tiny feet :’D

sandals or sneakers? sandals

do you go to the gym? NOPE LMAO DO MY NOODLE ARMS LOOK LIKE THEY COULD LIFT WEIGHTS

describe your dream datepicnic on a mountaintop somewhere and it’s not too hot or too cold and it’s peaceful and relaxing and aaaaaaa

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?two bucks, i wish i was kidding but that’s all i got :’)

what color socks are you wearing? none at the moment, it was hOT today

how many pillows do you sleep with?uuuuuh six :’DD

(sorry for the formatting weirdness lmao)

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? no i don’t ;w; i haven’t read in a long long time. i can’t even pick a favorite because it’s just been so long.38. money or brains? tbh, call me shallow, but money. brains are all well and good but what’s really important is neither money nor brains anyway so i’D RATHER LIVE A CUSHY LIFE WITH SOMEONE GOOD AND SWEET AND DUMB THAN MEAN AND NASTY AND SMART LMAO39. do you have a nickname? what is it? don’t really have one anymore, but for tumblr purposes just ‘cipher’ will do :’D40. how many times have you been to the hospital?as in, admitted to the hospital for my own health reasons, just twice i think41. top 10 favorite songsthere’s no way i can pick my top favorites of all time because i just love so many, but ten of my recent faves in general, in no particular order;Edge of the Blade - Epica; Ghost in the Mist - Lacuna Coil; Mechanical Love - In This Moment; Gasoline - Halsey; Green Light - Lorde; Black Magic - Little Mix; Wilson - Fall Out Boy; Oh Lord - In This Moment; Peace of Mind - Boston; Miami 2017 - Billy Joel42. do you take any medications daily? no but i probably should be on medication tbh43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)i don’t really know? i’m not exceptionally oily OR dry44. what is your biggest fear? being alone in life :’)45. how many kids do you want? none, ugh

70. what was the last concert you saw? Epica and Lacuna Coil!71. tea or coffee?coffee72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?STARBUCKSSSS73. do you want to get married?yeh ;w; i’m really worried it’ll never happen though dlkajsfslk74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?don’t have one rn75. are you going to change your last name when you get married? it’d have to be a really fuckin good last name, i’m really attached to mine and i can’t see myself changing it :’D76. what color looks best on you? baby blue or red tbh77. do you miss anyone right now? not really78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?closed, i’m not a FOOL79. do you believe in ghosts?i wouldn’t say i believe, necessarily, but if something weird were to happen to me that i couldn’t explain or seemed like something commonly associated with spiritual activity or w/e i would probably believe it tbh. like, i’d have to see it to believe it, but i would if i did :’D80. what is your biggest pet peeve? i guess immaturity from people who are REALLY supposed to fuckin know better81. last person you called?@seabunnii!! =^~^=

82. favorite ice cream flavor? MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP or just regular chocolate83. regular oreos or golden oreos? regular84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? chocolate, i am a chocoholic :’D85. what shirt are you wearing? it’s like a sorta seafoam green hoodie from Topsail Island86. what is your phone background?.....Lana Beniko LMAO at least one of them is, anyway87. are you outgoing or shy?i’m shy as hell :’)88. do you like it when people play with your hair?yesss as long as they’re careful about it and not tangling it up *~*89. do you like your neighbors? yeah they’re nice c:90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?night usually91. have you ever been high? no, i’m personally against drugs myself. idc what other people do with their lives but i don’t want any part of it and i don’t want to be around it, that’s just me92. have you ever been drunk?a couple of times, but i can’t drink anymore anyway :’D

94. favorite lyrics right nowgodddd i can never pick favorites...so the first that come to mind:The shot you took was overdueIt’s a good thing I am made of scar tissue

thanks for asking!!! :DD I LOVE DOING THESE LOL

[natsu-ki]

1 - 100, please and sorry 😆

1.      Spotify, SoundCloud, orPandora? 

Spotify.

2.      is your room messy or clean?

Ismessy but is clean too. xD

3.      what color are your eyes?

Brown.e.e

4.      do you like your name? why?

Yeah.And I don´t know, sounds nice i guess.

5.      what is your relationshipstatus? 

Single.

6.      describe your personality in 3 wordsor less

Moodyand sensitive af . xD

7.      what color hair do you have?

Light brown.

8.      what kind of car do you drive? color?

Idon´t have any. ;-;

9.      where do you shop?

Em..everywhere. (?)

10.  how would you describe your style?

Manlybut with woman clothes (most of the time at least). xDD

11.  favorite social media account

Tumblr.

12.  what size bed do you have? 

Individual.

13.  any siblings?

Twoolder brothers.

14.  if you can live anywhere in the worldwhere would it be? why?

New Zealandi think.

15.  favorite snapchat filter? 

The onesthat are funny, dunno.

16.  favorite makeup brand(s)

I don´tuse make up. o.o

17.  how many times a week do you shower?

Everyday,except when i´m on vacation. xd

18.  favorite tv show?

There´stoo many, I can´t choose one. D=

19.  shoe size?

5,6 or7, depends of the brand.

20.  how tall are you?

1,62m(5,3”)

21.  sandals or sneakers? 

Sneakers!

22.  do you go to the gym? 

Yeap.

23.  describe your dream date

Visitingnatural places or like an amusement park, something like that.

24.  how much money do you have in yourwallet at the moment?

Like…$16.

25.  what color socks are youwearing? 

I´mnot wearing any right now.

26.  how many pillows do you sleep with?

3. :3

27.  do you have a job? what do youdo? 

Idon´t at the moment.

28.  how many friends do you have? 

A few.

29.  whats the worst thing you have everdone? 

-Doesn´twant to talk about it-

30.  whats your favorite candlescent? 

Vanilla.

31.  3 favorite boy names

Nathan,Logan and Joel. xD

32.  3 favorite girl names

Alice,Emma and Abigail.

33.  favorite actor? 

Mmmm..Robert Downey Jr, maybe. (¿) I have many others.

34.  favorite actress? 

GalGadot. :3

35.  who is your celebrity crush?

Hahaha,I have too many of them!

36.  favorite movie? 

The Lordof The Rings trilogy.

37.  do you read a lot? whats yourfavorite book? 

I do,LOTR books, all of them.

38.  money or brains? 

Brains.

39.  do you have a nickname? what isit? 

Yes,Nat.

40.  how many times have you been to thehospital?

Latelylike.. 3 times.

41.  top 10 favorite songs

;-; This is a hard one, @k-usokurae. I honestly can´t think only in 10.

42.  do you take any medicationsdaily? 

Yes. 

43.  what is your skin type? (oily, dry,etc)

Eh.. I think oily.

44.  what is your biggest fear? 

Clowns. XD

45.  how many kids do you want? 

Maybe two.

46.  whats your go to hair style?

Emo one. XDDD

47.  what type of house do you live in?(big, small, etc) 

A small one just for me. x3

48.  who is your role model? 

Nobody,

49.  what was the last compliment youreceived?

“You´re one hell of a girl” 

50.  what was the last text you sent?

“Yes, at her place”

51.  how old were you when you found outsanta wasn’t real?

I don´t know, since i remember i knew he wasn´t real. xD

52.  what is your dream car? 

Jeep. 

53.  opinion on smoking?

I don´t do it, but i don´t judge those who does it.

54.  do you go to college? 

Yes.

55.  what is your dream job? 

Astronaut? Archeologist?

56.  would you rather live in rural areasor the suburbs? 

Rural.

57.  do you take shampoo and conditionerbottles from hotels? 

Sometimes. xD

58.  do you have freckles? 

Nope.

59.  do you smile for pictures?

Sooometimes.

60.  how many pictures do you have on yourphone? 

Over 1000.

61.  have you ever peed in thewoods? 

No. XD

62.  do you still watch cartoons? 

Of course.

63.  do you prefer chicken nuggets fromWendy’s or McDonalds?

Neither.

64.  Favorite dipping sauce? 

Bitter-sweets ones.

65.  what do you wear to bed? 

When is cold pajamas, other days just an old huge shirt.

66.  have you ever won a spelling bee?

I don´t think so.

67.   what are your hobbies?

Drawing, watching anime/tv shows/movies, reading books/manga, taking walks.. some other things.

68.  can you draw? 

Yeap. x3

69.  do you play an instrument?

Nope. ;-; 

70.  what was the last concert you saw? 

Never been in one.

71.  tea or coffee?

Tea, but doctors don´t let me drink it anymore.

72.  Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

Either.

73.  do you want to get married?

Not really.

74.  what is your crush’s first and lastinitial?

JN

75.  are you going to change your lastname when you get married? 

Noope.

76.  what color looks best on you? 

Black. xD

77.  do you miss anyone right now? 

Yeah.

78.  do you sleep with your door open orclosed?

Closed.

79.  do you believe in ghosts?

Definitely.

80.  what is your biggest pet peeve? 

All. (?)

81.  last person you called`

A friend.

82.  favorite ice cream flavor? 

Chocolate.

83.  regular oreos or golden oreos? 

Regular.

84.  chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? 

Chocolate.

85.  what shirt are you wearing? 

Black with gray stripes.

86.  what is your phone background?

A picture of a road forest i took.

87.  are you outgoing or shy?

Shy at first.

88.  do you like it when people play withyour hair?

I loooove it.

89.  do you like your neighbors? 

Don´t know them. XDD

90.  do you wash your face? at night? inthe morning?

Yes, both.

91.  have you ever been high? 

Nope.

92.  have you ever been drunk? 

No. 

93.  last thing you ate? 

Rice with meat.

94.  favorite lyrics right now

Talking to myself - Linkin Park

95.  summer or winter? 

Winter!

96.  day or night? 

Night. :3

97.  dark, milk, or white chocolate? 

Dark.

98.  favorite month? 

November.

99.  what is your zodiac sign

Scorpio. >x3

100.  who was the last person youcried in front of? 

Mmm.. my ex.

Ok, this took me like a whole day. xD Doing it once in a while.

[ninja-suffragette]

News From the USA

August 2017

Freedom Fighter Bond Fund -  Durham Solidarity Center

Natural Disasters

New Orleans under water: 12 years after Katrina, officials can't get it right - The Guardian (Tumblr Link)          15th August 2017

Donald Trump Keeps Plugging His Own Merchandise During Hurricane Harvey - The Huffington Post (Tumblr Link)     29th August 2017

By the time Joel Osteen announced that his church would soon open its doors, at least four Houston-area mosques had already transformed themselves into 24-hour relief shelters. - Splinter (Tumblr Link)      30th August 2017

“We don't like being care workers, we want to be heroes. The world does not need more heroes. We need more care.” -  Sigrid Ellis‏ on twitter (Tumblr Link)     31st August 2017

Trump and North Korea

Trump threatens nuclear war over fucking twitter - Tumblr    8th August 2017

Why reading Twitter bios is important. - Twitter and tumblr     9th August 2017 

Kal Penn‏ on Twitter (Tumblr Link)     11th August 2017

Charlottesville and Growing Fascism

Man shot dead after standing up for gay friends against homophobic attacker - The Independent (Tumblr Link)     8th August 2017

This is a picture of the heroic students from the University of Virginia that stood up to hundreds of white supremacists in Charlottesville tonight. - tumblr (double checked image source)     12th August 2017

Carnage in Charlottesville leaves 3 dead, 34 injured after white nationalist rally sparked violence, two crashes - NY Daily News (Tumblr Link)     13th August 2017 

Down the road from the white supremacist rally, this group passed out 100 bookbags & school supplies to the #Charlottesville community. - Philip Lewis‏ on Twitter (Tumblr Link)     12th August 2017  

Identifying the white in the photos from Charlottesville - Twitter and tumblr     12th August 2017

If these White Men that rarely agree, can come together and call out White Supremacists, there is no reason anyone else can’t. - Twitter and Tumblr        12th August 2017  

Hillary Clinton: "My heart is in Charlottesville today, and with everyone made to feel unsafe in their country." - Twitter (Tumblr Link with full string of tweets)     12th August 2017

Kentucky mayor announces removal of Confederate statues in wake of Charlottesville - The Hill (Tumblr Link)     12th August 2017

Imagine if these people ever faced actual oppression. -  Julius Goat on twitter (Tumblr Link)     12th August 2017

The Media, Racist Violence, And False Equivalence - Antifa International     13th August 2017

President Obama Shows Donald Trump How It’s Done With Most-Liked Tweet Ever - The Mary Sue     13th August 2017

'Unite the Right' organiser Jason Kessler chased away by protesters - BBC  (Tumblr Link)      13th August 2017

Boston is an inclusive place for all. Hate will not be tolerated in our City. - Mayor Marty Walsh‏ on Twitter (Tumblr Link)       13th August 2017 

Dan Harmon "I'm not a nazi" rant - Youtube (Tumblr Link)     13th August 2017

Feminists have been called Nazis for decades and haven't unfurled a swastika flag yet. - Alexandra Erin‏ on Twitter (Tumblr Link)     13th August 2017

Compare these snapshots of Confederate memorials in the South from 1900, 1920, 1940 and 1960. -  Kevin M. Kruse‏ on Twitter (Tumblr Link)       14th August 2017

Fascism is a virus and ignoring it won’t make it go away - Alison Kilkenny       14th August 2017

Anonymous shuts down neo-Nazi and KKK websites after Charlottesville rally - The Telegraph (Tumblr Link)       14th August 2017

Father Denounces Son Identified As Participant In White Supremacist Rally - Talking Points Memo (Tumblr Link)      14th August 2017

“We have been silent up until now, but now we see that this was a mistake. It was the silence of good people that allowed the Nazis to flourish the first time around, and it is the silence of good people that is allowing them to flourish now.”

i had a discussion today with a friend who was genuinely trying to understand why people are working so hard to ID the charlottesville nazis and contact their employers. -  robotmango on tumblr      14th August 2017

Illinois Senate passes measure calling for neo-Nazis to be classified as terror groups - The Hill (Tumblr Link)       14th August 2017

How Millennials are killing participation trophies. -  FanSince09 on twitter (Tumblr Link)       14th August 2017

Sure, the cancer was aggressive. But the chemotherapy was also very aggressive. There was aggression on both sides -  elan gale‏ on twitter (Tumblr Link)       15th August 2017

in Germany, Holocaust survivors come to our schools to talk about World War II, we study the events extensively, we visit concentration camp sites to understand the horrors of the past. it’s an integral part of our education. there’s never the question of “well, there were many sides” - factoseintolerant on Tumblr     15th August 2017

Read this chilling account of the Charlottesville Jewish community's experience this past Shabbat -  Avi Mayer‏ on Twitter (Tumblr Link)     15th August 2017

Doxxing White Supremacists Is Making Them Terrified - Broadly (Tumblr Link)     15th August 2017

“Johnny Cash was a man whose heart beat with the rhythm of love and social justice.” A message from the children of Johnny Cash - Rosanne Cash on Facebook (Tumblr Link)      16th August 2017

Heather Heyer’s mom gives heartbreaking yet stirring funeral speech - Mic (Tumblr Link)      16th August 2017

Teacher Accused Of Punching Neo-Nazi Says Standing Up To Fascism Isn't A Crime - Huffington Post (Tumblr Link)      16th August 2017

The Internet Had the Best Responses to Trump’s “Both Sides” White Supremacy Defense -  The Mary Sue     16th August 2017

White tears in Trumpville - Sociological Images on Tumblr     17th August 2017

These people are lined up to turn themselves in for removing a racist statue in downtown Durham - Tumblr via Instagram     17th August 2017

I Lost My Son to the Alt-Right Movement - The Cut (Tumblr Link with further commentary)     18th August 2017

Mother of Charlottesville victim says she won't speak with Trump - CNN (Tumblr Link)     18th August 2017

The PCAH Mass Resignation Letter Is More Patriotic Than Anything Trump’s Ever Done - The Mary Sue     18th August 2017

Anti-racism protesters totally eclipsed Boston's right-wing Free Speech rally - Vox (Tumblr Link) (Tumblr Link)     19th August 2017

“NO PLACE FOR NAZIS” Pictures from the rally in Boston - Twitter and Tumblr )     19th August 2017

Y'all should hear about my experience with BLM at the Boston Anti-Nazi Rally. - Tumblr via Tim Pierce‏ on Twitter     19th August 2017

HEATHER HEYER'S FAMILY IS NOT PLAYING WITH ANY OF YOU! -  taiwan jones‏ on Twitter (Tumblr Link)     20th August 2017

After alt-right organizers saw huge counter-protests in Boston, they've canceled 67 "America First Rallies" scheduled in 36 states - Jon Cooper on Twitter (Tumblr Link)     21st August 2017

“[Steve Bannon] is all over the map on a lot of stuff. But on one thing that he’s quite coherent, and that came through in the interview, he’s quite coherent that he thinks the winning strategy is you connect racist nationalism to anti-immigrant nationalism, to economic nationalism.” - Democracy Now (Tumblr Link)     22nd August 2017

Charlottesville Workers Have Shrouded The Robert E. Lee Statue In Black - Buzzfeed     23rd August 2017

The cover of the next Stern, a German news magazine. - Tumblr     24th August 2017

US man who said he was stabbed for looking like neo-Nazi actually stabbed himself - The Guardian (Tumblr Link)     29th August 2017

GOP lawmaker warns black Democrat may ‘go missing’ if she tries to remove Confederate statues - (Tumblr Link)      30th August 2017 

Immigrants 

U.S. Citizen Who Was Held By ICE For 3 Years Denied Compensation By Appeals Court - NPR (Tumblr Link)   1st August 2017

Trump order could give immigration agents a foothold in US schools - The Guardian (Tumblr Link)     22nd August 2017 

Comedian and vlogger Elijah Daniel became mayor of Hell, Michigan, proceeded to ban all heterosexuals, and then was impeached. - Twitter and Tumblr   30th August 2017

Black Lives Matter

NAACP Warns Black Travelers To Use 'Extreme Caution' When Visiting Missouri - NPR (Tumblr Link)     3rd August 2017

Become your ancestor's wildest dream -  Ava DuVernay‏ on twitter (Tumblr Link)     5th August 2017

Student's grades lowered for sitting during Pledge of Allegiance - WFAA (Tumblr Link)       14th August 2017

Officer to woman during traffic stop: 'We only kill black people, right?' - WSBTV (Tumblr Link)     31st August 2017 

Rest in power Fred Hampton - Twitter and Tumblr

Politics

Venezuela has the world's largest oil reserves and has pursued a path independent of imperialism for 20 years. This is not about democracy - Ben Norton‏ on twitter (Tumblr Link)  1st August 2017

If You Celebrated the Health Care Vote Last Week, You Should Probably Thank a Disability Activist - Elle  (Tumblr Link)     1st August 2017

A new state law in Indiana would close hundreds of polling locations in areas with large minority populations. - Mother Jones (Tumblr Link)          10th August 2017

Texas’ Anti-Transgender “Bathroom Bill” Dies as Lawmakers Spout Same Hateful Rhetoric About “Sexual Predators” -  The Mary Sue     16th August 2017

We've been covering Joe Arpaio for more than 20 years. Here's a couple of things you should know about him... -  PhoenixNewTimes‏Verified on Twitter,compiled on Tumblr        25th August 2017

Trump pardons ex-Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio: White House (commentary)-   Mikel Jollett‏ on Twitter (Tumblr Link)     25th August 2017 

Trump Fuckery

Here’s why a giant inflatable Trump-chicken was staring at the White House - Boston Globe (Tumblr Link)     10th August 2017

‘Trump bots’ and how Right Wing media utilizes their ‘fake media’. -Schooley‏ on Twitter (Tumblr Link)   5th August 2017 

Secret Service pays $60K to rent carts to protect Trump as agency runs out of money - Market Watch (Tumblr Link)     21st August 2017

President Donald Trump has been photographed staring directly at the sun during the solar eclipse. - Buzzfeed (Tumblr Link)       21st August 2017

Trump Gazes Directly Into Solar Eclipse Without Glasses, Abyss Gazes Back Into Him and Finds Him Wanting -     21st August 2017

Other

'Pharma bro' Martin Shkreli convicted of fraud - BBC     4th August 2017

Shkreli’s finally going to jail over securities fraud proving you can extort sick people for all the money in the world and nobody can stop you but lie to a rich person about hedge fund performance and you get the fucking horns

- fuckheadwitha on tumblr

Sure, they had search high and low to find a jury who don't hate Martin Shkreli. The sketch artist? Not held to the same standards -  James Harvey‏   on Twitter (Tumblr Link)     3rd August 2017

You gotta read this excerpt from the Martin Shkreli jury selection -Tumblr

Thread of what it was like to grow up on the Navajo Reservation here in New Mexico - @lilnativeboy on twitter (Tumblr Link)     19th August 2017

[myauralove-blog]

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Baby Liam

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Outgoing if I know you, shy if i feel intimidated or you’re new to me

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? mjum, sister, brothers

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I’d say so, unless I feel super threatened by you I’m the nicest person everrrrrr

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? ummm no

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Legit assholes and that pretty much sums it up. nah intelligent, witty, funny, confident but not cocky, articulate, class clowns

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I’d rather not

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? JD, JW.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Nah. Ask me anything.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Megan

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? Cant wait to see you.

12. What are your 6 favorite songs right now? Unforgettable - French Montana

Thunder - Imagine Dragons

XO Tour Lif3 - Lil Uzi Vert

I like me better - Lauv

There for you - Martin Garrix

Know no better - Major Lazer, Travis Scott, Camilla Cabello

13. Do you like it when people play with your? You better be reaaaal gentle bro

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Yes, just not for myself

15. What good thing happened this month? Rekindled a friendship with Hayley, Lots of fun with Griff & Vato, Lots of drunk fun with Megan, had sex watching the july 1st fireworks hahahahhaahahah

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Ya.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? hahah ew

19. Do you like bubble baths? So much

20. Do you like your neighbors? The ones across me, yes. Other people around - no. Fuck them.

21. What are you bad habits? Trusting too easily, revealing too much, spending money, eating junk

22. Where would you like to travel? Italy, France, Southeast Asia, Scotland, England, Ireland

23. Do you have trust issues? Yessssss, but I trust too easily too.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? eating, laying in bed at the end of the day

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? boobs that arent there, stomach that is fat, nose, googly eyes, teeth

26. What do you do when you wake up? Go back to sleep lollll, get anxiety, want to smash my alarm, stretch

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Tanner

28. Who are you most comfortable around? Megan, sister, mum, zane

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Joel lolll why’d ya cheat then

30. Do you ever want to get married? Maybe.

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? hardly. can never decide if I want it long or short so i just keep cutting it ? 32. Which celebrities would you have sex with? Ashton Kutcher and Ansel Elgort omg

33. Spell your name without vowels - scrltt jwl vn

34. Do you play sports? What sports? ew no

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Thats hard neither

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? All the time

37. What do you say during awkward silences? The wrong thing 99% of the time

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Finds my quirks endearing, intelligent, witty, funny, sexy, loves my body, loves my humour, is interested in what I have to say, is interested in my life, basically they have to be obsessed with me

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Online - PLT, Peppermayo, Boohoo

40. What do you want to do after high school? im 24 lol take me back to when i was actually facing this question

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? im so sensitive and emotional so yes. but if theyve had 2 second chances then no

42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean? I’m hurt, trying to read your mind or off my head

43. Do you smile at strangers? If they look like a kind stranger

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? fuck that ill stay on dry land thanks

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Alarms, anxiety

46. What are you paranoid about? Being played, laughed at or talked about behind my back

47. Have you ever been high? Ya

48. Have you ever been drunk? is that even a question

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? um yes

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Blue

51. Ever wished you were someone else? KYLIE JENNER UH YEA

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? eyes, pasty skin, boobs, my stupid anxious mind, my stupid big heart

53. Favourite makeup brand? BYS, Maybelline

54. Favourite store? Kmart for sure

55. Favourite vlogs? Shani Grimmond, Michael Finch, Skye Wheatley, Tammy Hembrow

56. Favourite colour? Green, tan and pink

57. Favourite food? Pizza, Pasta

58. Last thing you ate? Mars Bar Icecream

59. First thing you ate this morning? Banana and honey toast

60. Ever won a competition? For what? Haha like never. Raffles, Jellybean in a jar guessing,

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? In school suspension. Cant even remember what for. Plenty of detentions

62. Been arrested? For what? Yeeea. Punching a cop. Didnt go on my record though so all good lol

63. Ever been in love? Twice.

64. Tell us the story of your first proper kiss? hahahaha year 6. Was 11. Being forced at a park by his sister, me standing on a skateboard because he was so freakishly tall for an 11 year old and legit missed his mouth the first time

65. Are you hungry right now? I’m full af but always

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? No. wtf i have 1 follower on this account

67. Facebook or Twitter? FB.

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr.

69. Are you watching tv right now? No. Listening to music

70. Names of your friends? Megan, Ebony, Vato (Tony), Griffo (Tyrone), Yoshi

71. Craving something? What? I dont know... Him

72. What colour are your towels? All Sorts

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 3

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? lol no

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? 2 that ive had since i was a baby that sit on my top cupboard shelf

75. Favourite animal? Dogs, Seals, Elephants

76. What colour is your underwear? Pink.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Choc

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Mint Choco

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? White

80. What colour pants? Pj Pants

81. Favourite tv show? Of all time - Riverdale, Friends, catfish, crazy ex gf

At the moment - The middle, modern fam, ex on the beach,  yummy mummies ahahah

82. Favourite movie? Best of me, The choice, life as a house

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean Girls!

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls.

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Gretchen

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Nemo duh

87. First person you talked to today? Dad

88. Last person you talked to today? Dad

89. Name a person you hate? The bitch whoever my ex is sleeping with

90. Name a person you love? My ex, my family, my dog, all 50 of my babies at work

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Nah?

92. In a fight with someone? No.

93. How many sweatpants do you have? A WHOLE LOT.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? too many

95. Last movie you watched? Shark Tale

96. Favourite actress? Rachel Mcadams, Cameron Diaz, Isla Fischer, Katherine Hiegel, Amy Smart 

97. Favourite actor? Leo, Ashton Kutcher, Owen Wilson, Paul Rudd, Steve Carrell

98. Do you tan a lot? Noooo

99. Have any pets? Oaks

100. How are you feeling? Tired, Blank, Distracted, On edge

101. Do you type fast? yes

102. Do you regret anything from your past? hahahhha yuh.

103. Can you spell well? Very well.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? LJ (LM)

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? maybe?

107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes

108. What should you be doing? Nothing.

109. Is something irritating you right now? That its almost tomorrow, my hairs faded, he doesnt give a fuck about me

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yesyesyesyes

111. Do you have trust issues? I answered this already.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? On the phone to my mum

113. What was your childhood nickname? Scar, Bubble

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes.

115. Do you play the Wii? When I go to Eb’s

116. Are you listening to music right now? Yes. Currently Playing not going home - DVBBS

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Yes.Homemade

118. Do you like Chinese food? OMG. YES.

119. Favourite book? You - Caroline Kepnes

120. Are you afraid of the dark? Yes and no

121. Are you mean? No.

122. Is cheating ever okay? No. No No NOOOOOOOOO

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? NO lol

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? hmmm starting not to

125. Do you believe in true love? Yes.

126. Are you currently bored? Kinda.

127. What makes you happy?

Kenji, My fam, Alcohol, Food, Music, Tv, Holidays, Money, New clothes

128. Would you change your name? Nah.

129. What your zodiac sign?

Aries, what yours?

130. Do you like subway? yum yes

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? He did and now he doesnt and treats me like im nothing

132. Who’s the last person you had a laugh with? Griffo, Hayley, Powelly and Ziggy

133. Favourite lyrics? So I will run Until my feet don't touch the ground And as the waves carry me out Keep listening She'll never make a sound

134. Can you count to one million? No wtf ive got time but not that much time

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? sickies for work?

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed,open when im home alone

137. How tall are you? 5 something

138. Curly or Straight hair? Straight.

139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette.

140. Summer or Winter? Both, can never decide

141. Night or Day? Night.

142. Favourite month? March or December

143. Are you a vegetarian? No.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk.

145. Tea or Coffee? Both

146. Was today a good day? It was okay.....

147. Mars or Snickers? Mars atm

148. What’s your favourite quote? Anything by Beau Taplin

149. Do you believe in ghosts? YES.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? No that’s too far, but I’m reading gone girl atm