#you just got morty and ricked <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[cloudysarts]

imagine if the federation tried to make a phoenix with birdperson's daughter wouldn't that be fucked up hahaha < insane

like father like daughter.

(pr0/c0mship dni)

[fear-no-mort]

reminder that they are horrible

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

just finished rick and morty season 2 and god. i wish season 3 was just summer going on romps to try and save her grandfather from space prison. intersected with sideplots of her grandfather being interrogated for info and giving a different backstory each time.

[advnterccs-archive]

{ OOC } thinking about that episode in season 6 where Rick actually was excited to play with that galactic video game console Space Beth got Morty 🥺🥺 he wanted to play so bad, but he obviously didn't know how -- and the next day after watching his grandkids play, he figured it out but both controllers were taken. So, he decided to make his own 💔😭 but even then, he still didn't get to play because of the drama between his daughter and clone daughter

[twilightcitysky]

Whooooo okay, so. Thoughts.

You can get a lot done in 90 mins. Many books are made into 90 minute movies.

(Season 2 was 6 episodes... but maybe 90 minutes of it total was actually *necessary*.)

Think about what we've learned. Neil wasn't the person we thought he was, and it showed in his treatment of a story we all love. He said himself that he gave fans what they wanted (in terms of the kiss), but we "wouldn't like it." His ego thrived on manipulating, ridiculing and generally stirring up the fan base. The more upset and vulnerable we were, the more satisfied he felt. What do you think, then, was in store for us in his Season 3? Do you think his scripts would have left us feeling satisfied, even if we got the cottage ending?

The new producer doesn't know GO, but the cast and crew love this world and love the story. I'm going to choose to trust that a group of people that overall has been so united and wonderful, so very much on the same page in terms of this love story, will see things through. And I'm excited for an ending that truly is for us... because let's face it, we almost didn't get an ending at all. A TV show that gets rocked in this fashion generally does one of two things: cuts ties and continues if there's enough financial incentive to do so (think House of Cards, Rick and Morty-- both of which are/were MUCH bigger and more profitable than GO), or cancels. Considering how long it took to greenlight S3 and Mickey's "We did the impossible" post on X, I'm sure Amazon was on the verge of pulling the plug. (I'm not going to talk about my opinion on the ethics of these decisions. I'm just saying it's reality. Corporations care about their bottom line and their optics.)

It'll be okay. Let's be optimistic. Neil is gone, the story will continue, and they're doing it for us.

(Last thought: remember that-- in a different reality where Neil Gaiman actually is the person we thought he was-- we might not have gotten anything more satisfying in terms of the A/C love story. Neil doesn't think "settled relationships" are good television. He wouldn't let them lay a finger on each other until the very last episode, I guarantee it.)

(Also, this is the guy who decided that "Crowley lives in his car and Aziraphale doesn't know or doesn't care" made any kind of fucking sense; no, I'm not over it yet.)

[potentialguybodyswaps]

Brother body part swap part 2:

Oh man, my brother is such a dumbass, and now I get to keep his, I mean my new awesome big cock, I get he was trying to be helpful and make me happy, but how dumb could he be?

It started a few days ago when I got kinda self conscious after hanging out with my friends smoking pot, talkin about all the girls we fuck, when in actuality I don’t fuck many, kinda been hurt too many times when they make fun of my dick size….

After my friends left, I sat down with my bro who was high as a kite watching Tv

I asked him “hey Christian, I have a question for you”

“Yuh” Christian said not breaking focus from the tv and looking like a zombie

“How old were you when you first got laid” I said clasping my hands together and leaning in, trying to look like I was focusing on the tv and not his answer

“17”

“And how big is your dick?”

“Um about 9 inches… um you?” He said tilting his head to try and look at me

I wasn’t ready for him to fire back a question like that, I don’t wanna lie but I don’t want him to make fun of me if he’s actually 9 inches, bro must have gotten the good genes in the family

“Um, 7 myself. Why do you ask?” I said feeling like a fraud for lying

“Bro chill, I don’t care, you asked me first after all, what’s the problem, something wrong?” He said finally breaking from trying to make eye contact with me and faced the tv again

“Um, I mean, kinda I guess… some girls I’ve been with kinda think I’m small” i said sinking into the couch feeling embarrassed

“Nah bro, your good, I mean your pretty good looking, no homo. And 7 inches isn’t small, bigger than average, she’s probs just a college slut, there’s always someone bigger. Now let’s just watch the rest of this, and finish the season haha” my brother said laughing referring to the show we’re watching, Rick and Morty, what a fit show for a smoking session might I add

“… wait you think I’m good looking?” I said smiling trying not to blush for some reason “haha thanks bro, just one more question what’s your body count, like how often do you get laid?”

“Uh like 2 or 3”

“2 or 3!? Times or girls?” I said shocked from what I herd

“Times bro, now shut up we can talk about this later dude” he said annoyed that I kept bothering him

I was quiet for the rest of the episode and decided to go up to my room after that figuring that’s the most I could get out of him without it being weird. I mean it was already weird but I didn’t want it to be anymore

I ended up falling asleep pretty early that day sense me and my brother actually go to the same college, we both gotta get up early so he can drive us both there

I wasn’t asleep for long when I herd a knocking at my door

I sat up letting my hair dangle in my face and just pulled my phone out that way I could play games or whatever when whoever walks though the door decides to talk to me

Chris opened the door a little bit and stuck his head in

Ultimately he was just checking in on me asking how I was doing and eventually came in having one of those brotherly talks where he basically just tells me he cares about me, that he’s here if I ever need to talk, and how I’m his favorite little brother, when In reality I’m his only little brother…

We started talking about my problems and I broke down a little bit completely throwing myself onto my bad trying to hide my face so he couldn’t see I was about to cry

I told him I mainly just wanted a actual relationship but all the girls I do like dump me

He told me something along the lines of how he’s not like me, and was shocked this is what I actually want and how it seemed like me and my friends were playing a game of who could fuck the most girls

That just upsetted me even more cause I forgot for a moment about how I’m very good at making it seem like I’m a fuck boi that gets all the girls, when in reality all my one night stands, weren’t one night stands cause of my choice, they all decided 5 inches isn’t enough

Chris could see I was hurting on the inside from this, not knowing the actual reasoning why I can’t keep a girl, and told me that most of his girlfriends always thought I was the cute one, he then proceeded to ask if I wanted him to try and hook me up with one of them

“Ya” I said trying not to let my voice break

“Ok, I’ll start work on it tomorrow” Christian said walking out

The next day came and went as usual, however Christian did tell me I had a date with his Ex Beth in like 2 days! That’s not alot of time to prepare but I think he purposely set it up cause that’s my birthday, must just trying to be cheap and call my date a gift or something

I spent the whole rest of that day and the next telling Christian all my ideas for my date and asking questions like what did she like

Chris told me “just be you, maybe hang out for a little bit, dinner if she gets hungry, perhaps take her out to the lake and go for a swim”

I asked Chris “ how are we gonna get there? It’ll be pretty weird if you have to drive us, even more pathetic if she has to drive us” I said annoyed

I saw chris roll and eyes and reach into his pockets pulling out the keys to his mustang and tossing them to me

“Duh bro you can borrow my car I guess while you go on your date, don’t fucking scratch it tho, you know mustangs aren’t cheap” he said all seriously

“Seriously bro? Your gonna let me drive the stang? What’s the catch, why are you being so nice all of a sudden” I said squinting my eyes at him

“No reason bro, it’s your birthday, that’s like 1 of the 2 days a year I legally have to be nice to you, what you don’t wanna drive it?” Christian said raising an eyebrow to me

“No!, No!, I do! It was just a question that’s all” i said back peddling trying not to get him ask for his keys back

“Listen we can talk more about this tomorrow ok?” I said tossing him back the keys

Me being the stoner I am I proceeded to go back to my room and get high so I can fall asleep and wake up sooner to start enjoying my birthday

As always I’m typically the first one out the door but this morning I almost tripped over a packaged addressed to Chris

I opened back up the front door and yelled “Chris there’s a package here for you! On the step” And the. Proceeded to go back to the car

Once inside I kinda just closed my eyes and tried falling asleep again, sleeps one of my favorite things and I’ll take every minute I can get of it

For some reason my feet got super tight in my shoes but I didn’t think much about it just kicked them off so it quit distracting me from taking a few minute nap

After a bit I could hear my door open and a pair of shoes and keys were tossed on me

“Your driving” I herd a voice say

I looked up was shocked to see my own body wearing my clothes

“Bro what the fuck! Why am I looking at myself” i said frantically trying to pull the sun visor down just to be greeted with my brothers face instead of mine

“Holy shit! I’m you now Christian, how did this happen!?” I said feeling my face thinking I was still asleep

In the corner of my eye I could see my brother reach into his hoodie and pull out a necklace dangling it around his neck

“Remember the necklace you wanted” he said still jiggling the necklace around

“Ya and you got it? And it actually works!?” Holy shit bro this is crazy” I said unbuttoning my jeans so I can check his dick out

“Aye bro, I think you forgot a part” I said looking at him disappointed

“Nah dude, I just felt like it’d be weird to swap that, now anyways get up your driving.” Chris said standing there waiting for me to get up

I stood up, putting on his shoes and walked over to the driver side and started the car. Not gonna lie, really weird being in my brothers body, like carrying the weight feels weird, we both weigh almost the same but since Chris is taller I’m way skinner now than in my real body… but anyways I was really excited to drive my brothers car, I fucking love his car, I kinda have a thing for mustangs

I know it’s important to let your car warm up so I left it started for about a minute before I put it in drive and started heading to our classes

“So… um, how long is this gonna last? Or how long are we gonna stay swapped” i said trying to keep my eyes on the road

“Oh I don’t know, there was a instructions booklet but I don’t think we need that haha… aslong as you want bro, aslong as it’s within reason, so could be for a day, could be for a week or two, but I definitely don’t wanna be you for a whole month haha, guess you could consider this another birthday gift” said laughing checking his smile out in the side mirror

“Oh jeez, thanks bro, but you do remember I have that date tonight right?” I said a bit annoyed about the timing of the swap

“Well I mean we could always swap back after class. Or we could stay like this and I could go on your date for you maybe? That way I can do everything possible to make sure you get a 2nd date and continue seeing you, sense, ya know… you like to fuck up a lot haha” he said laughing at me

“Not funny dude, but ya dude I guess maybe it would be a good idea for you to go as me. You’d probably know what she would like and could probably seal the deal with her to date me” I said pulling off the main road and onto the campus looking for a place to park

“So we have a deal then?” Chris said holding a hand out

“Deal” i said shaking his hand

After turning the car off and opening the door to get out I herd Chris yell “Hope you have a good day CHRISTIAN” he said putting emphasis on his name, er I guess my name for now

“You too benji” I said also putting emphasis on his new name

I went to Chris’s class for the day and they were a lot harder than what I expected mainly the bullshit math and science ones that typically don’t have much to do with whatever major you pick

After school I waited by the car for my brother to come that way I can drive us both home and he can start getting ready his date

Chris was going though my whole closet looking for a outfit that was date worthy and when the time finally came for him to go pick Beth up, he came and grabbed the keys to the car

After he took the keys and left me in his room, I started looking at myself in the mirror slowly stripping looking at my boney figure

I mean Chris ain’t that bad looking but even he admits I’m the better looking one, I mean truthfully I don’t think I’d mind staying in his body, but only if I had his dick, that’s also assuming he’s not lying about being 9 inches hard haha, I know I’m no where near that, I’m really 5 inches and our dad is about the same so I doubt bro is even above 6

Wondering if it was possible a swap could be permanent I remembered Chris said there was a instruction book that he threw away cause who needs one for a fucking necklace

I found a little pamphlet in his trash and started reading it, really only 2 pages explaining how it works, how to do a swap, but after that there was a section explaining what to do if you want a swap to become permanent

The pamphlet said if you want a permanent swap all you have to do is jerk off since the magic in the necklace is holy magic, any sins done while swapped can break the magic link leaving it useless to those that used it. So things like sexual conduct before marriage, or even just jerking off was enough to break it

It’s a good thing I read this cause I was gonna jerk off but I don’t think I wanna be stuck as my brother, taller and skinner now but with the same sized dick I have, it kinda looks even smaller

I decided to get dressed again and started playing Chris’s Xbox looking for a good game to play, finally settling on over watch playing quick play not wanting to mess up his competitive score

About an hour and a half later, I was in the middle of the practice range testing out a new hero when I herd the door open, I paused it and turned around looking up to see my brother “how’d it go, does she still wanna go out with me?” I said

“Oh ya bro, it’s still not over, I’m just here to grab some shorts cause she wants to go down to the lake and go for a swim before it gets real dark… do you think it’d be wrong of me if I tried to fuck her on the first date?” He said grabbing a bag and putting some black shorts and some towels in it

“Nah bro, I mean it does sound like something I’d do, so she might be expecting it” i said not able to help giving him a sly smile

Chris ended up setting his bag down and went into the bathroom connected to his room, just then an idea struck me and I ran to my room grabbing a pair of my shorts and ran back taking his shorts out tossing them under the bed and stuffing mine in the bag

Just then chris came out the bathroom seeing me stuff something in there.

“What’s that” he said walking closer to grab the bag

“Uh… just some condoms, can’t be too careful right?” I said taking a step back trying not to seem suspicious

“Ugh ya thanks bro, stopping at a store to buy some might have been weird if she knew I was planning to do this haha” grabbing the bag and laughing while he walked out saying “see ya later bro”

After he left I couldn’t help but laughing to myself “oh man, I can’t believe I just did that, well I guess atleast now I I’ll know how big his dick is… although I suppose if he does fuck her once we swap junk, we’ll permanently be stuck like this, but I mean if he’s actually that hung and not lying, I think I could live with this, but fuck, I hate the fact that this is a gamble that he’s not lying about how big he is” I thought to myself

I went back to playing my game, going back to quick play, after like 5 or 6 games holding the controller in my hand resting them on my sweats, I started feeling someone brushing my hand, I lifted up both hands and saw a larger bulge than before

“Oh my god this is it, he put my swim shorts on” I thought myself backing out my game and getting up to go to the bathroom

I pulled my sweats down some and could see the large imprint on my underwear, I pulled those down too, to take a piss and was left almost speechless, bro looks as big soft as I do hard that’s insane haha

After getting done with taking I piss I went back to the room and took my pants completely off standing in the middle of the room in just my brothers underwear, I swapped into his early cause why not, not like I could actually swap anything myself

I pulled them down a little bit and grabbed my dick, thinking about how I have my brothers dick might be a little weird but the fact that it’s so much bigger is even hotter

It started growing in my hand and once fully hard I grabbed a tape measure and measured it, I just had to know

And sure enough he wasn’t lying, Chris actually does have a 9 inch dick, we’ll actually 9 inches and 1/4th

I started slowly jerking off at a pace that wouldn’t be able to make me cum, basically just edging and enjoying the use of my huge cock debating if I wanted to cum, I could be the nice brother and swap back with him, but at the same time he probably fucked his ex already, oh man she HAS to be disappointed, but at the same time I don’t wanna go back to disappointed women. But I might not have to, if he fucked her then that means we can’t swap back anyways, but if he hasn’t then that means I have to give him his dick and body back

I sped up my jerking and kept stopping short of cuming for over an hour continuing my internal debate, on whether or not I wanted to do this and keeping Chris’s body, trapping him in mine, like I said kinda hot we’ve swapped bodies entirely, the big dick is even hotter, but I don’t know if I could keep his body forever

Just then I herd a car door slam and I figured that was Christian pissed off, not having anymore time to debate, I sped up, hoping I’m making the right decision, sense I’ve been edging for over an hour it didn’t take long for me to cum now that I ramped up the speed trying to bust before he walks in on me jerking, probably took less than half a minute of me jerking furiously to finally bust sending giant ropes of cum flying out my dick, 6 or 7 ropes total flew out my dick landing a couple feet away and a few more smaller ones landing on my feet

Just as I was panting, about to wipe the tip of my head off and put it away, Chris walks in, i looked at him the moment he opened the door, looking like he was about to yell but went into shock for a few minutes at the site of me with his dick in my hand

“You didn’t!” He said loudly with my old higher voice

“I froze, uh uh uh, this isn’t what it looks like” i said panicking, I thought I’d have a few more moments before he’d come in

“Really? Cause it looks like you swapped my shorts out for yours, I come back after my date almost exploding after I told her I’m almost as big as my brother, which was a let down for her when she saw I’m only 5 inches hard! And walked in right after you got done jerking off in my body!” He said angrily

“Uh, uh, Im sorry just couldn’t help myself, when I noticed my dick didn’t feel right I decided to check it out and then I got hard from looking at this chopper and I just couldn’t help myself haha” i said trying to break the tension

“Whatever dude your lucky Beth still wants to go out with you, we’re fucking done with this swap, get out” he said grabbing some of his clothes and a beanie

I walked out smirking knowing what was gonna happen.

“Hold on,” I said stopping at the door “I thought you said we could stay swapped for a week or too”

“Ya well you forfeited that when you took my shorts and swapped them with your own, I told you I didn’t wanna swap junks with you, I mean who wants a smaller dick, not to mention balls. I didn’t wanna lose 2 inches and instead you forced me to lose 4! Now get out!” He screamed at me slamming the door on me

I went back to my room smirking and just laid on my bed waiting for him to realize swapping back wouldn’t work

I laid in bed for about 5 minutes when I herd a “WHAT THE FUCK” from across the hall and then stomping coming my way

“Oh? Did you change your mind?” I said trying to look shocked but failing to hide a creeping smile from popping up on my face

“No as you can see, I’m wearing my clothes but nothing happened, now help me get this dam necklace off” he said failing to get the necklace off

“Oh this is great, I mean might not be the best body to be stuck in but with a dick this big, I don’t mind giving up the cute brother title, atleast I’ll be the big dicked brother haha fucking sweat!” I thought to myself as I walked over and tried to unclasp the necklace to no prevail, I decided to pull it off breaking the clasp to the necklace

I decided to grab some of my old clothes and put them on before I decided to loosely tie the necklace around my neck so I was technically still wearing it

“Did you ever read the instructions” i said trying to hide a smile

“No, what would be so important about stupid instructions for a necklace” he said frustrated

“A magic necklace, and well in the instructions it says that part of the magic is if you desire to keep your parts you have, all you have to do is cum, ether jerking off or sex, whatever gets you to blow” i said with a full blown shit eating grin now as I saw realization Dawn upon Chris’s face

“And well you already had sex with Beth in my body right?” I said

“Ya” he said changing facial expressions from confused to horrified

“And I already jerked off right before you got back. Which means nothing is probably gonna happen” i said

We waited in silence for a couple minutes before he finally snapped

“So you knew if you jerked off we wouldn’t be able to swap back!? What the fuck is wrong with you dude? Now we’re stuck like this! We gotta find a way to swap back, I don’t wanna be known as the small dick little brother” Chris said with tears in his eyes

“Let me reiterate something you said to me not long ago. “” who wants a smaller dick”” well not me, when I saw you weren’t actually bullshitting about having a 9 inch dick, I decided I don’t actually mind having your body. Knowing you probably would try and bang your ex in my body, I decided to seize the opportunity and jerk off in your body, just to seal the deal in case you didn’t fuck her, just so I can keep this” I said putting my hand in my pants and fondling my dick and balls

“I mean not to mention even if I didn’t swap our shorts out, sense you fucked her we’d still be stuck but then you’d be hung in my body while I kept my shrimp dick in yours, it kinda looked weird on me sense I’m skinner and taller now… so don’t be mad that you fucked up and made it permanent, I just took advantage and swapped the final thing out that way it’s a complete Bodyswap” i said

“I mean you don’t have to be known as the little dicked brother, your known as the cute brother now, you just happen to have a small cock now, so if I was you BENJI, I’d get use to being the smaller brother in more than one way, cause luckily for me, this is permanent now haha” i said laughing and putting emphasis on his name

#longoverdo

#fromthevault

[dahliakbs]

Random Ideas I've Had For Batfam

Writer's block is the only reason I've yet to post any of them

1) Idol! Reader x Batfam

This is one of my newest ones, where basically the reader would be a tired, overworked idol in an industry full of talent. Their attention span would be that of a goldfish so in order for batfam to get them to actually relax and take some time off (which they can't do any of that but whatever) the batfam would use their attention span against them.

Leading them away slowly but surely from the toxic idol life and instead trying to get them back into the real world.

2) Batfam x Reader - The bats are from a different universe

Where basically reader lives in a universe where heroes don't exist and one day they phase into reality. Coming out of nowhere and for some reason no one is questioning a single thing.

Almost everyone you know has these alrmtered memories of those vigilantes or villains and you just can't seem to understand how the world changed so drastically over night.

You somehow gain their attention, you know from nearly freaking out every time their in your proximity (as vigilantes) or when you start noticing the questionable things occurring in your universe

Like ripples in time, or holes in the ground that when looking inside of it lead to another universe. The world eventually ends with only you and the vigilantes being left and you start to put it all together.

(Basically its kinda was supposed to be like Rick and Morty, where if they destroy their own universe they just skip to another one and in the end they end up having to take the reader with them)

3) Batfam x Five Hargreeves! Reader

Long and short of the story, your an overworked sidekick. Batman seems to have this idea that your the key, that your powers would be extremely useful in his nightly crusades so he trains you. Day after day your worked to the bone and then you snap.

Why can all the other kid sidekicks get to live their lives as normally as possible but your stuck training day after day to do something you don't even want to do? Your muscles are screaming and your on the verge of passing out from all the strain your training had on your body so when your desperate, tired mind comes up with a way to put all of this to a stop you decide to do it.

You use your powers to send yourself into the future, thinking that it will permanently separate you from your daily hell... and it did, just not how you were expecting it to.

(Then basically you return to the past and in the same body you left in with the mission of saving the world, the batfam slowly uncover your secrets and after a while confront you about it.) Like about how you were an assassin

4) Damian Wayne x Child! Reader

Funny idea I got from a tiktok audio where reader is a church girl and they meet Damian during morning mass. He's covered in blood, clearly looks like he'll jump at the next thing that moves in his peripheral but your a kid, you don't care.

You immediately become friends (that's how you see it in your mind) sneaking him out of the church while your parents aren't looking because he asked you to, well more like demanded you to but a friend is a friend. He'll keep secretly inviting you out, somehow finding your parent's house and showing up in the middle of the night to whisk you away.

Not for the purpose of hanging out. No no no, your his cover. He camouflages well when your around, your bubbly, childlike demeanor hiding his intense and dark intentions. And that's a good thing when it comes to his missions, his mother doesn't seem to care about your presence in his life so for now he'll just keep you around.

Your parents are a bit apprehensive about your friendship with him and only when they find out that Damian is Bruce Wayne's son is when they finally accept your friendship. (After Damian meets Bruce)

They finally allow you to hang out with him and you finally get to meet his "irritating" siblings that he for some reason always goes on about and they're just staring at you like.

How did you become friends with their rat of a brother?

A little dialogue I had:

"How did you meet our brother?" Dick's trying to seem as sweet as possible but your entire outfit could light up an entire city, your parents have you dressed like a disco ball and it's not doing you any favors.

And you know, these nocturnal vigilantes aren't really used to such bright light.

"I met Dami while I was in church" you answer sweetly, it's clear that the difference between the two of you is night and day which us honestly a breath of fresh air.

"Oh really...?" Dick's smile tenses, I mean who would expect Damian to go to church, let alone be at least 15 feet near one.

"I was there to kill the pastor" he just simply states.

"You were there to kill the what?!" Boom, reality shattered. Innocence gone, now you know why you haven't been seeing Pastor Malcom as of late.

[bouncybongfairy]

Rickety-Rickety Wrecked

Rick Sanchez x Fem Reader Smut

Summary: After recently getting a job, the illusion that high school status quotes and popularity truly mean nothing. You've been re-evaluating things that once made you bubble with excitement like sneaking out and partying. That being said, your younger sister informs you that she's going to Summer Smith's house party. Starting to feel like a senior citizen, you tag along and encounter Rick Sanchez.

Word Count 3.0k+

(!This is a smut fanfic, you’ve been warned!)

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

As you walked out the doors of the nursing home you worked at. Your hand was lazily searching for the keys that were undoubtedly buried at the bottom of your bag. After opening the car door, you let your body fall into the driver’s seat. It wasn’t just being physically but mentally drained as well. Tossing your purse into the passenger side and start the car. It was Friday and you were excited to finally have an entire weekend off. You couldn’t remember the last time you had any time to yourself. Pulling into the driveway, you weren’t surprised to see that your mom’s car wasn’t home. She works nights but will take every double shift she can get her hands on. You dropped the purse on your bed and immediately went over to shower. Even though you’re a Med-Tech you still will help residents with toileting among other things. While waiting for the water to get hot, you let your dirty scrubs drop onto the floor.​​ The water was scorchingly perfect, you could feel your muscles loosening. Using your nails, you scrub your scalp almost moaning from how nice it felt. The smell of the ‘honey crisp apple’ scented candle was only adding to the relaxation. Unfortunately that all came to a halt when your younger sister barrelled into the bathroom and turned on the harsh fluorescent lights.

“Oh my god, you scared the shit out of me!” you exclaimed. 

“Well sorry, you’re the one hogging the bathroom,” your sister remarked. 

“If you were patient and knocked I would have told you that I’m about to be done,” you said. 

“No time, Morty invited me to a party that Summer is throwing,” she said which made you throw the current open. 

“You’re going to Summer Smith’s party?” you questioned. 

“Yeah, I thought you were going to. Morty mentioned that Summer asked you. And plus I kinda already told my friend that you would give us a ride..” she said. 

“Girl what the fuck, why would I go to a party after working every day after school all week. Yeah she invited me but I wasn’t planning on going,” you huffed.

“Well, can you still take me?” she asked.

After you got out of the shower you thought about the fact that even your younger sister was going to be at this party. Even though you were still tired from school and the work week, you felt like staying home would just make you feel… pathetic. As soon as you got out of the shower you started getting ready. You haven’t done your makeup in so long that you almost forgot how to apply your lashes. You straightened your hair and threw on a jean mini skirt and a black long sleeve. It was weird looking in the mirror once you were all done up. You liked it though, it made you miss when you didn’t have to worry about work. When you went downstairs to see if your little sister was ready to go, she was equally as shocked at your appearance. After her friend arrived you guys took off to the Smith house. The entire house was completely lit up with lights, teens that were smoking on the roof, and of course, unknown species of life that were slithering and flying around. Your sister pestered you for 20 bucks then ditched you. You entered the house and immediately got greeted by the smell of weed and tobacco. It didn’t bother you too much though, you walked into the living room and immediately saw your old group of friends. They all screamed and ran over to give you a hug. You could tell they were all a little intoxicated. 

“What are you doing here, we had no idea you were coming!” Maya said. 

“Yeah I had the weekend off so I thought I’d come out,” you said. 

“Ever since you started working, I feel like I haven’t seen you in like forever,” Anna said. 

“Yeah I know, but it’s nice being able to save money. Especially because I could take some of that responsibility off my mom,” you said. 

“Don’t you miss going out though? You were literally about to get asked out by Brad. I mean like, you practically lost your status when it comes to school,” Maya said in a condescending way.

“If my status was based purely on me going to parties and hanging out with girls who are pretending to be drunk then I don’t think I want it. Too obtainable for someone like me, sounds perfect for you though,” you said, giving her a warm smile as you watched her smirk fade from her face. 

Now you remember why you stopped going to house parties like this. As you walked around you couldn’t help but notice all the sophomoric conversations going on. Things like bragging about having a roach from their dad’s ashtray. Or boasting about getting to second base with their girl. Honestly, it made you feel a lot older than you are. Making your way into the kitchen, you saw Summer standing there with Trisha. They both greeted you and complemented how you looked, which really lifted your confidence.

“Haven’t seen you in a while, stranger,” Summer said, giving you a red solo cup filled with an unknown liquid. 

“Girl you know I started working,” you said, smelling the cup and trying to identify what type of liquor it is. 

“Same, honestly ever since I started working at my mom’s shop, I feel like my childhood is officially over,” Trisha laughed. 

“God I’m glad I’m not the only one,” you joked back. 

“We were about to go up into my room and smoke, you wanna join?” Summer asked which you immediately agreed to. 

Her room was really nice, with pink coral walls and a bunch of different posters that covered them. Trisha and you sat down on her bed and Summer walked over and grabbed a bong from under her desk. She grabbed her desk chair so that she could sit in front of you guys. Trisha surprised you and pulled a blunt out from behind her ear. They thought this was your first time smoking but it wasn’t. When you work in a nursing home, sometimes the only thing keeping you sane is your wind-down time at the end of the day. After puffing on those for a bit, Summer pulled out a tray that had a couple of purple almost violet crystals. Without saying a word to each other, the two girls crush up one and then snort it. It took you back at first, the brazenness of how casually they were doing lines was a little jarring, to say the least. When you asked what it was they explained what kalaxian crystals were and what the high was like. Even though it was embarrassing, the factor that sold you was when Summer said they couldn’t be picked up on a drug test. Trisha was holding up the tray and Summer was walking you through what to do. 

“So like, when people do lines for the first time, most don’t fully sniff because they are obviously like, intimidated by it. But if you take a small bump then it’ll just burn and you won’t get the full high. So just go full throttle,” she said handing you the straw, the fact that the whites of her eyes were now blue made you nervous. 

However, the mix of alcohol and weed in your system was making you ballsy. You close your eyes and take the full line, dropping the straw on the tray and bringing your hands to your nose. As if that would’ve helped the burning sensation. Both girls were giggling as they watched you react, asking every now and then if you were okay. Your entire sinus cavity was not only burning but giving off an unpleasant taste in the back of your throat. The effects were immediate and you felt like you were defying gravity. Like if you really tried you could start floating away. You looked over at the two other girls who were dancing to the stereo Summer had in her room. Without them even noticing, you walked out of her room and made your way downstairs. You felt like everything was moving in slow motion and you were taking in every detail of everything you laid eyes on. The music was so loud that it felt like a heart beating in your ears. Panic and sensory overload were taking over and you could feel your heart began to quicken. After accidentally bumping into a girl, she turns around and tries to snake her arm around your waist. Obviously having a stranger try to grind on you in the midst of a panic attack was the last thing that helped. You broke away and made a B-line to the nearest door. You yanked it open and slammed it shut behind you. You were using your hand to cover your mouth in a sad attempt to stop your hyperventilation. 

“Medical emergency detected, blood pressure 148/96 and rising; Medical intervention advised,” a monotone woman’s voice spoke throughout the room. 

“Oh my fucking god, I’m fucking hallucinating… I’m overdosing I-I’m about to fucking die,” you have cried have muttered to yourself and you covered your ears. 

“You -buhrup- you’re not dying yet, what did you take?” a male’s voice asked. When you looked up, a blue-haired man was standing over you. Wearing brown slacks and black shoes. 

“You deaf? What -buhrup- did you take?” he asked again, taking your jaw into his hands and making you look up at him. Your eyes were still blue from the crystals and your jaw was now chattering. You were still crying and breathing heavily. 

“I told Summer to stop letting people take bumps of kalaxian. I have something, hold on.

“No- I don’t, I just needed a-a few minutes to catch my breath,” you explained, wiping your eyes and standing up, still leaning against the garage door for support. 

“Whatever, you’re lucky I’m trying this whole nice thing,” he said, going back to working on whatever it was sitting on his workbench.

“Sorry,” you said, walking over to his bench and asking if you could sit on the bench. He ignored you but also didn’t protest when you hopped on. Setting your purse down, grab your dab pen and take a puff. 

“You sure about smoking that?” he asked. 

“Weed is a vasodilator so it probably wouldn’t be the best thing for me right now but it can’t be the worst either,” you said taking another hit. 

“Did WebMD teach you that?” he asked.

“No, I learned that from my CNA teacher,” you said. 

“HAHA, do you enjoy wiping shit off of saggy balls?” Rick said followed by a fit of laughter. 

“Yeah, kinda hot,” you said, taking a drag. He looked at you with his eyebrow cocked which made you burst out into laughter, “you should have seen his face!” You said you are unable to compose yourself. He squinted his eyes, tilted his head down slightly, and scowled at you. 

Maybe it was the drugs but the look he gave you made your stomach feel like it was boiling. He again went back to tinkering with his invention. His side profile was strong, his lips were in a frown and he had liquor dripping down his chin. His hands were huge, making a screwdriver look like a pencil. His posture was horrible, practically hunching over the workbench. The blue long-sleeve he wore was slightly tucked into the top of his pants. You were watching his lower stomach rise and lower as he breathed at a very steady rate. He had dark under-eye bags that only added to an angst vibe that radiated off him. You wanted to make a move to indicate that you thought he was attractive but felt insecure. Taking a deep drag from your pen to give you a bit of courage, you kick off your heels.

The sound of them clattering to the floor made Rick look over, he didn’t move but instead shifted his eye to the side to watch you. When he didn’t give you the attention you were craving, you uncrossed your legs and let them hang in front of you. Rick set down what he was working on and turned to face you. Pressing his back into the workbench and just watching you. Biting onto the tip of the pen you take another big drag and blow it between your legs. In turn, he took a swig from his flask, almost like that was his move in this little game you were playing with each other. You set your pen down and pull your skirt up so that the jean material of your skirt was no longer touching the tabletop. Revealing the hip bands on your baby blue thong, he chuckled and walked over to you. He stood about a foot away from you and even though there was still distance between the two, it felt closer. You were intimidated by him and you couldn’t tell if it was turning you on more or not. Extending your leg out, you use your foot and untuck the front of his shirt from his pants. Exposing his happy trail that to your surprise was also blue. 

“So the carpet does match the drapes,” you giggle, which quickly turns into a gasp as Rick grabs your ankle and holds it up slightly. He was squeezing it so tightly but this only ignited a need that you didn’t know existed. 

“Should have asked if you were so curious,” he said, pulling your leg so that your ass was almost falling off the edge of the table.

He loosened his grip on your ankle and ran his calloused hand up your leg. Once he was close enough, he snaked his hand around your waist. The feeling of his hand touching your lower back made your back arch involuntarily. His crotch was pressed lightly against yours. You were so nervous that your teeth were chattering. His hands were now running up and down your lower back, almost like he was getting off from watching how sensitive you were to his touch. When you looked up, he was already looking down at you. This was something that was new to you and you weren’t quite sure what to do with your hands. Trying not to think too hard about it, you dip your fingers into the waistband of his pants and boxers. You pressed your nose against him, letting your bottom lip rub against his gently. You start pulling on the end of his shirt, prompting him to take it off. He shook his head in disagreement, so you pull away slightly and take your top off. He laughed and then took his shirt off as well. As if he had a look in his eye that said I’ll show mine if you show yours’. The fact that neither of you had to speak to communicate made you want to throw yourself at him. There were scars littered across his body, you traced one that was on his chest. Moving your fingertips to his arms, still admiring his old battle wounds. He was still watching you even though you weren’t making eye contact with him. 

When you finally broke away and looked up at him and couldn’t help but admire him. His frown lines, how dark his eyes were, and how his hair was sticking out in all directions. You smashed your mouth against him, unable to bear waiting any longer. He was such a good kisser, not messy and sloppy like the ones you’ve had before. He was aggressive but not overbearing, you wrapped your legs around his waist. Running your hands through his hair and around his neck. He moved his hands to his hips and began grinding against you. Your lips were starting to feel raw from how long he’d been biting and kissing. Moving your hands down to his pelvis you try unbuckling his belt. When he pulled away from you, a trail of saliva connected by the both of your bottom lips followed. He pulled down the front of his pants, exposing his dick. You pulled your panties to the side and he didn’t waste any time reaching down to feel how wet you were. He let out a hoarse moan, and let his forehead fall onto your shoulder. At this point you were aching with anticipation. Unwilling to take his teasing anymore, you reach down and line up his tip with your entrance. He takes the hint and moves his hands back to your hips for support. Slowly he started pressing into you, his mouth was slightly hung open. There was a slight stinging from how big he was but because he was starting slow, that feeling soon faded. He took a step forward once he was fully pressed into you. 

He kept himself buried inside of you for a while while kissing your neck. Sucking hickies and leaving bite marks all the way down to your shoulder. He slowly started rocking himself back and forth. You attach yourself to his neck, wrapping your arms around his neck and moan as he slides in and out. You were trying to buck your hip up in order to meet him halfway with his thrusts. Watching his facial expressions as he pounded into you was making you feel euphoric. Everytime you tightened around his shaft you could see his face scrunch in pleasure. At this point he was pounding viciously into you, your walls were becoming sensitive. You were sure that he was getting close because he was getting more aggressive. His thrusts were getting more sporadic, he reached up and grabbed a fist full of your hair. Forcing your head back, exposing your neck allowing him to continue marking you up.

You were whimpering every time his length pressed completely inside you. His face was red from how much he was exerting himself. Your arms were wrapped around his neck so he grabbed you from underneath your knees and pressed you against the wall. The change in position was enough to send you over the edge, going limp slightly as your pussy spasmed around his cock while you came. He let his entire body weight press against you as he came inside you. As you were cumming, you could feel his throbbing member spurting inside of you. When he pulled out he took his shaft into his hand and rubbed his tip up and down your folds. Enjoying the feelings of your warmth and swollen core. He set you back down on the top of his work station. You were still cross faded and don’t think you could walk even if you wanted to. Barely being able to keep your eyes open you use your arm as a pillow to ‘rest your eyes’ for a few moments.

Rick zipped his pants up and went to leave the garage, knowing you’d probably leave once you woke up. Maybe it was the recent encounter with Unity that made him feel like a douche. As if having careless sex with you was only proving her point that you were a bad guy. He took a deep breath and stood in front of the door for a while before turning around. Grabbing your purse, he took your wallet and looked for the address on your ID. After punching it into his portal gun and creating the green entryway to your house. He picked you up bridal style and carried you through the portal. He used his foot to move the covers over and set you down on your bed. Leaving your purse and shoes on the floor next to you before leaving.

[angelyuji]

yandere rick sanchez headcanons

(obviously very ooc… like im taking his worst characteristics and turning the dial to 100)

cw // spoilers for literally the entire show, noncon, stalking, kidnapping, torture, being kept like a pet, drugging

18+

RAUEIA:ADOBAIDHJO?S{DH*}

canonically big dick like i need him BAD

guys im so in love with this old fucker

season 1+2 rick would definitely just keep you around for sex

the only reason he hasn’t gotten rid of you is cuz you’re a “good fuck”

literally treats you like an object or a cute little pet

“e-eat.” rick places a plate on a table he brought for you. he moves away to type on some computer. all you remember is a green portal in your room and a man you had never met dragging you out of bed. the room you were in was filled with computers and equipment. he didn’t bother to tie you up.

you don’t move, hearing your silence, rick turns to look at you. he burps, “i-i-i bring you some food out of the goodness of my h-heart and you’re not going to eat it?” you don’t answer. “s-s-stupid fucking b-bitch.” he moves over to grab you by the hair and pulls you closer to the table. “eat the fucking food.” you scream, your scalp searing in pain, as he shoves your face onto the table.

s1+2 rick kinda feels like the type to peer-pressure you into a drinking or doing drugs because he can

like he’d definitely force you to some alien drugs just cuz he can or cuz you’re not as resistant when you’re high off your balls

but season 3 and onward??? oh he’s so obsessed with you

let me explain this personality change

by season 3, rick is starting to care for his family so if you meet him after the whole federation prisoner arc of his, he’s more of like a clingy wet cat vibe… like imagine wisp the cat…. guys i lowkey cooked with that comparison

he’s allowed himself to care for his family (even sometimes jerry)

so when he meets you, this sweet, kind, beautiful person. he wants to protect you. he wants to keep you safe from all the shit that happens to the people in his life

constantly checks on you, calling and texting you daily. he always tries to play it off as a butt-dial

‘sdas’ you’re at work when your phone buzzes as rick’s text comes through. you look at the gibberish, roll your eyes, and continue working. 15 minutes later, a green portal flashes open next to you. everyone jumps in surprise, looking at the portal as rick walks through. “why didn’t you text me back?” rick grabs your arm, looking pissed. you look around, embarrassed.

you lower your voice to a hush, “you texted me gibberish? what exactly was i supposed to text back?” his grip on your bicep tightens and you wince.

“i-it was an accident, but y-you didn’t text back and i was worried.” rick starts to pull you into the portal, but you stand your ground.

“rick, i’m working. you have to go.” rick’s face darkens at your words, but he lets go when your coworker comes up to you.

“is everything alright?” she looks concerned and alarmed at rick’s appearance, and he rolls his eyes.

“(y/n) here, didn’t answer my text so i got worried.” rick pulls you into a tight hug and whispers into your ear, “next time, text me back.”

builds you a bunch of stuff to keep you safe like a chip that insta-kills anyone that it detects to be bothering you

that first week of meeting you, he had broken into your house at night and planted a tracker in your skin when you were sleeping, so he knows where you are at all times

during the whole killing rick-prime arc, he was so scared that you would get hurt or prime would come after you

he didn’t want to lose you like how he lost diane and beth :(

“baby, come on, it’s for your safety.” rick pleads as you slam your hands against the force field.

“SO YOU TRAP ME IN A CAGE????” you scream as rick presses a hand against the wall.

“it-it’s just for your protection, baby, i can’t lose you too.”

“FUCK YOU, RICK. I SWEAR WHEN YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE, WE’RE DONE.” you wouldn’t stop screaming at him. morty watches, uncomfortably.

“are-are you sure this is okay, rick?” rick’s face is unreadable as he registers your words.

“it-it’s fine, morty. i just won’t ever let them out.”

rick also seems like the type to have a breeding kink, but like with the no kids yk (this mf does NOT want more kids) (especially after the whole ghia incident)

like he doesn’t use condoms and he doesn’t pull out, because he likes marking you as his from the inside.

he would definitely have a marking kink like hickeys, love bites, collars, anything that shows the world that you’re taken by him

rick’s hands caress you as you struggle in your bonds.

“i’m sorry, baby, so so-sorry.” he buries his head in your shoulder, sucking at your nape. his hands start to pull at your pants and you struggle harder. he pulls away from your neck to leave wet kisses down your chest, “i know, i know, i’m sorry, sweetie. you just looks so cute, so sw-sweet. it’s really not my fault.”

[citadelsanchez]

Greetings, our dearest and best writer in the entire history of ever, could I interest you in a little scenario where Rick takes y/n and Morty on a little adventure and leaves y/n alone for a moment to meet up with a "contact" only to come back to y/n being surrounded by people and HEAVILY flirted with? I'd just love to imagine the look on Rick's face when y/n spots him with this helpless puppy look as they try to fend off suitors,,,

Hi. Been a minute since I've posted. Holidays and all that, plus I'm in the process of moving states so I apologize! I promise that I will still be slowly working on these. <3 anyways,, hope you enjoy.

((Gender neutral reader))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Um.. I dunno, Jerry," you muttered uncomfortably. You were currently sat between Morty and Jerry on the Smiths' couch, and got caught in the middle of the two boys having a debate over Interdimensional Cable. Jerry insisted that he was best friends with Keanu Reeves and Dwayne Johnson in his alternate reality. Morty claimed that even in a different reality he'd never be cool enough for that to be true.

"Well it's nice to be reminded just how much of a loser my own son thinks I am. Y/N, what's your opinion on this?" Jerry asked.

You awkwardly shrugged as you checked your phone and hoped they would just stop talking altogether.

"Hey dipshits, is there some valid reason that you didn't come to the garAAGe when I called your names?"

You turned your head to see none other than Rick entering the living room to stand over you and Morty with his arms crossed.

"W-we never heard you call us," Morty spoke.

Rick scoffed. "Well you just heard me. Get to moving" he said, keeping stern eye contact with you before stalking back towards the garage.

You and Morty glance at each other before hesitantly getting up to obey his command, you're both used to his formidable attitude and being too overcome with curiosity to argue.

When you make it to the garage, Rick is already in his ship ready to depart.

"Get in, come the fuck on" he calls out harshly.

Morty stumbles in and you take your place in the back, wedging your legs between the middle of the floor between their seats.

"So what are we doing, specifically?" You ask, watching as Rick expressionlessly drives the ship. Adventures didn't phase you at all anymore; it had been about a full year now since you've started going on them with your esteemed older mentor and his grandson. The scenery never really made a difference anymore but the objective behind the adventures did.

"Just- it's just a compound I need for a project, that's all."

"That wasn't what I'd call specific" you frown, staring at his side profile.

"It's perfectly specific in being all the information that I care to give out," Rick retorts, throwing you an annoyed look.

"Geeez Rick," Morty adds.

You roll your eyes and decide not to further press the issue. You're no stranger to Rick's many moods and abusive jabs, but usually you were able to pinpoint reasons for them, even if small. Sometimes, though, it seemed deeper than what you could read into and you knew to just leave it be. It wasn't like he would relay his true emotions to anyone.

The ship whirred to a halt as you looked outside of the windows to see a lively city filled with people entering and exiting eccentric shops. Most of the inhabitants seemed to have a masculine appearance, some taking on hybrid human and alien features. Some were strange creatures altogether, and some looked to be completely human.

The three of you climb out of the ship as Rick starts talking. "Alright, so I've got to tend to my business. You two stay here and don't die."

He looks between you and Morty, a sense of guilt almost marking his face before the typical scowl replaces it. "I-If you can't manage that, use this to let me know." Rick shoves a device with a giant blue button in your hands now.

"Good luuUUCk" He burps before walking off into the crowd of humanoids and disappearing from sight.

"Wow, he's really on it today, huh Y/N?" Morty says, puzzled.

"Something's off, I can tell. I need to find out what it is," You respond. "Rick has obviously left us in the dark before but this just doesn't feel right."

Just as you're about to take stride to follow Rick, several warlock resemblant men surround you, blocking your path. Their curious inquiries spill out all at once.

"Look at this specimen, Norpel. Definitely not from around here."

"What's your name, gorgeous?"

"I was told not to touch the aliens that visit but I almost can't resist."

You take a step back and sigh in frustration. Damn you, Rick.

"And you're dead set on using this formula and enduring it's possible side effects, Rick?"

Rick frowned, irked by the fact that his colleague wouldn't just provide him with what he asked for without a 20 questions game.

"Yes, Shabablurb, I'm completely positive."

The mysterious man turned to face the older scientist. "I just have to make sure. I'll go get it then."

Rick tapped his foot as he waited and his mind wanders back to you once again. Your gentle eyes of compassion, your sometimes rare but always bright smile, your soft hair. The inside jokes you two came to have, the gentle touches you give him when he's not being an asshole, the way his entire family cherishes your presence. How he feels about you- he knows the feeling and knows it well. Which is why he needs to get rid of it.

Shabablurb re-enters the room with a vial. "Okay, one and done. I'm not here to judge any of your decisions but just remember Rick, that once you take this, you won't be able to remember an-"

"I got it. Thanks. I'm out."

Rick snatched the compound from the man's hand and began making his way back to Morty and Y/N.

He was starting to wonder if you two had went to a bar or club somewhere when he heard your voice, wavering and meek. Unusually out of character for you.

"Hey stop, don't, back up- don't touch me please."

Rick narrowed his eyes at the crowd he was walking through, pushing past everyone to reach the sound of your voice.

Many feet away, Morty was nowhere in sight but he caught a glimpse of your face, flush with panic and anxiety, as the strange men continued to prod you and several attempting to grab a part of you- your clothes or body.

Your eyes meet Rick's and he can clearly see the plea for help in them as one creature grabs hold of your shirt and begins yanking it.

Rick feels his anger start to surge. He removes his laser gun from his coat and fires it at the crowd, freezing some suitors in place and burning holes in others. Once you're no longer engulfed in bodies, he finds the job satisfactory.

"R-Rick, thank you," you murmur while he walks over, embarrassed by the scene that just played out. You gently brush your fingers over his hand after he puts his gun away and he stares at you with an unreadable expression.

"Rick?"

"Uh yeah, sorry. Glad I could save the day. They w-would've had a feast with you."

Your cheeks flush although you're not sure in what context Rick was even referring to.

In honesty, neither was he. All that was consuming his mind were second guesses. Guilt and pain that clutched his chest with a deathly grip. And a single question ringing in his head.

How could he make himself forget about you?

[fear-no-mort]

rick and morty seperation anxiety despite being a very real thing is never ever actually done in the show for a few reasons

1. there is basically Never any situations where it’s so dire to the point where they’ve lost eachother and can’t get back . like you have to understand that is only the absolute worst of the worst conditions

2. the only times rick and morty are actually not together physically 100% of the time 24/7 7 days a week 24 hours a day is when they’re having some sort of argument that led to them going their seperate ways usually to prove something to the other

3. its too powerful. if we ever really got a situation where they are truly seperated and can’t get back to eachother and they’re both freaking out about it and they just can’t focus on anything other than how badly they need to be together and neither of them can focus or function without the other the world would cave in on itself it would cause mass hysteria everyone’s nerves would start tangling together before it could be resolved

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

once again in my rickard and mortyanne era. if you couldn't tell

[loving-family-poll]

Ultimate Incest Tournament - Round 2

Propaganda under the cut:

Hikaru/Kaoru:

notable for actually leaning into the incest thing because twincest was their entire schtick while working at the host club

the twincest ship that defined a generation. taking the bait seems obvious when their performance gimmick for club guests is to fawn over each other and play up the affection tenfold, but it just gets better when you learn that for most of their lives they didnt have other friends and really only had each other until joining becoming members of the host club. so on top of being willing to flirt in public for attention, they're also codependent as hell <333

They're twins. They sleep in the same bed. They pretend to be in forbidden love to bait fujoshis but are maybe also in forbidden love for real. They were in high school before they met a single person who could tell them apart. They were devastating to my middle school psyche

Rick/Morty:

INCEST ICONS!! They've somehow got a MAJORITY of their fans on one of the most popular shows on TV to root for a guy who is CLEARLY sexually abusing his grandson ~subtextually~, but also sometimes ON SCREEN, and it's hilarious and fucked up, and Morty would kill anyone who tried to take his grandpa away <3

they're codependent in so many universes, they've gotta be fucking in a few

They get married!!!!! It's right there!! I wish I had more coherent thoughts about them but just. They. It's awful. It's abusive. It's twisted and cruel. It's a comedy duo. It's the best thing either have going for them. Rick will never fully respect Morty. Morty will never fully respect Rick. I want them to run away together. They're Something

the power dynamic is crazy! Morty's deeply lonely at the start and his grandfather takes advantage of that, rick pulls the kid out of bed, out of school, whenever he wants and gets him to do whatever he wants, covers up their activities, threatens and endangers and inflicts pain upon morty with intent and cruelty. he shapes morty according to his needs, the entire show is about the space adventures of an old man and his 14 year old grandson and you just gotta wonder, isn't it fucked up that this guy's sidekick and best friend and life partner is a kid? and it is!

Since morty is traumatized on the daily rick sometimes takes his memories, he controls what morty can remember (and therefore who he gets to be), the memory gun is just sci-fi gaslighting i say. and there's transdimensional travel and at one point it's revealed that ricks from different dimensions work together to "breed" mortys, ensure they're born (clone a bunch of them too) because a morty by nature is loyal and forgiving and makes the perfect partner that's easy to manipulate, easy to use. i will forever think of the "bred for forgiveness" line as perverted horrifying incest bait<3

Also one time they were hosts for alien parasites and they fell in love and made out and in the Very First episode rick gets morty to stick giant seeds (that rick needs for an experiment or smth) up his ass to smuggle them through security. they had some kind of dragon soul bond orgasm together. my point is it's borderline incestuous abuse and it's crazy that they imply these characters are tied together cosmically.. if they are it's rick holding their red string of fate like a leash

they are together (sometimes romantically/sexually, sometimes not explicitly so) in EVERY universe there is canonically a club on the citadel called The Creepy Morty. Miami Morty has an R tattooed on his asscheek they love each other they hate each other they cant stand being together they cannot be separated Rick loves grooming Morty. like. he has literally pushed Morty into comitting genocides and conditioned him into becoming desensitized to all kinds of sexual and violent things. Rick keeps a memory vial of Morty's entitled "virginity" Rick C137 (the main one in the show) has sacrificed his life to save Morty

[starlight-bread-blog]

"Katara Just Needed To Heal Zuko's Scar"

I understand why this argument is being made. After all, she offered to heal Zuko, and so she does. So why are the shippers trying to paint it as some romantic moment? It's a reasonable question. But I'm gonna try to answer it.

Zuko and Katara weren't in love in this scene for two reasons: Firstly, it's their first conversation, making any romantic development feel rushed and unnatural. Secondly, as fictional characters, they don't possess hidden feelings, unless the writers have confirmed otherwise.

So what argument is being made? The argument is that this moment is an example of ship baiting and could have served as romantic build up if the writers decided to go down that route, and I'll explain why.

1# Just because an action was necessary, doesn't mean it can't be seen as romantic

I know how this sounds, but hear me out. Let us take a look at another show, where you'd least expect to see a romantic connection, and the action was completely necessary. I want to discuss Rick and Morty's Beth x Beth.

Beth is the last person who'd have tension with Beth, clearly it's disgusting. And she really did have to install that chip. But the thought did cross your mind, they did get together, and this scene was romantic build up, despite not being romantic in-universe.

Now that we've looked at the most extreme example ever, it's time to look at a classic: Aladdin. One of the most iconic moments in the movie is when Aladdin simply offers his hand to Jasmine so she'd get on the flying carpet, asking "Do you trust me"?

Aladdin isn't asking if Jasmine trusts him because they're deeply bonded, he asks that because she's scared to get on the flying carpet. And he isn't reaching for her hand because he wants to hold her hand, he reaches because she'd needhelp getting on it. And yet, it's universally recognized as an incredibly romantic moment.

Very often writers use the mundane necessities like casual touch to set up romantic tension. This narrative approach allows for the gradual planting of the idea in the audience's mind, even in situations where intimacy may not be overtly present, adding nuance and depth to romantic storylines. And in fiction, it's everywhere.

2# The set up wasn't just necessity, it was an intimate moment

In this section I won't try to prove the gesture was romantic, I simply think it's crucial to understand the scene before analyzing it. Katara offering to heal Zuko's scar wasn't a necessity, the touch was the necessity after she already made the offer. This leaves us with a scene that begins with Katara thinking of Zuko as "the face of the enemy", and ends with Katara attempting to heal Zuko's scar.

The moment became intimate the second Katara brought up her mother, and Zuko, who doesn't normally share his emotions, make and effort to connect. Thus, they began to view the other differently, as someone similar to them.

Still, this is their first conversation. And Katara is under no obligation to be even somewhat nice to him. But she decides to use her spirit water on him, and if she had, Aang would have died. That's how important the spirit water is. Saying she "just needed to heal is scar" is quite reductant in my opinion. Choosing to heal him in and of itself is a radical and intimate decision.

Still, non of what I said so far is indicative of romantic build up. Nor is giving other examples from fiction of necessities being romantic indicative of this one being too. So, it's time to finally talk about the touch.

3# The action wasn't actually necessary, to the point where it makes very little sense

Let's remember how Katara did heal using the spirit water:

She bends the water straight on Aang's back and starts bending it. I repeat: She bends the water straight on the injury.

So writers, please do tell me, if Katara wanted to heal Zuko's scar, where is the water?

No water and no healing, becsuse it wouldn't look as intimate/shippy with water. Instead, what we got is two shots highlighting the pysical touch between them with soft violin sounds in the background.

In literature, what isn't in text isn't important and should be disregarded. Here, on paper Katara is healing Zuko's scar, but in practice there is no water and all of the focus is on the touching. Therefore, it's signaling the viewers that even though she just needs to cure him, it isn't important. With Katara's thumb on Zuko's lips, with a close up shot on the contact, the only thing that matters is, apparently, their pysical touch.

Additonally, they were interrupted before Katara could do actually anything anyway. In a universe where this scene wasn't ship teasing, Katara would take out the water, almost lay them on Zuko's scar, and then Aang and Iroh would break them out of the cave. Logically, Katara's hand shouldn't have gone anywhere near Zuko, and if it did, it should have looked incredibly unappealing.

But it didn't. In this already very intimate moment, the show puts all the focus on the pysicality of the healing, rather than the healing, and breaking its own logic to do so. Thus, they made it look a lot less like a simple necessity, but rather an act of pure intimacy, as often done in fiction when portraying romantic tension. And that's why this scene was ship baiting.

[fandomwe1rd0]

Every Rick and Morty episode ranked!

This took me 3 hours and Mircosoft excel was being a bitch but I did it! The ranking is under the cut! I really hope you enjoy! Sorry if my reviews leave some to be desired, this took a VERY long time!

~ F tier, this tier is for episode. I just don't like, they have little to no redeeming qualities and just aren't good. There's very little here since most Rick and Morty episodes are really good! ~

71. Claw and Horder Special Ricktim Morty. Horrible episode with no redeeming qualities. Rick is unlikable. There's no funny jokes, and it's just a really uncomfortable episode overall, F tier.

70. Rickdependence Spray. Very little redeeming qualities. Rick is really the only good thing in this episode, and even then it's just because he wasn't a complete ass to Morty. There's only like…one funny joke and that's it. Also Rick and Morty writers, PLEASE STOP SEXUALIZING A 14-year-old boy. I BEG of you!

69 (heh). Rise of The Numericons: The Movie. Just a really boring episode, it focuses on 2 characters who I don't give a shit about, and it has a forced romanced subplot and just has a very uncomfortable scene.

68. Raising Gazorpazorp. Rick sucks in this episode. He's a sexist asshole, and the sexualization of Morty is really insane. There was one funny joke in the beginning and everything else sucks.

67. A Rickcovient Mort. Romantizing groomers is crazyyyy. The B story is also just overly sexual.

66 & 65. A Rick in King Mortur's Mort & Ricktional Mortpoon's Rickmas Mortcation. Lumping these 2 together due to similar problems. Rick is a douchebag, unfunny jokes, and I do NOT like the focus of Morty's…manhood in Rick in King Mortur's Mort.

64. One Crew Crewcoo's over Morty. Rick was an asshole in this episode, and there's not even funny jokes to make up for it like in The Vat of Acid episode, I just feel bad for the poor boy.

~ D tier, these episodes are bad, but have more redeeming qualities than the episodes in the F tier. ~

63. Mortyplicity. There was a sweet moment between two of the decoy familes but that's it.

62. Anatomy Park, just a really boring episode, really it's only redeeming quality is that it can be used for like a biology class but that's it! There's not really anything I spefically dislike about it, it's just kinda boring.

61. Rick Dinner Andre. Eh. This episode was lame. I expect better premires. But at least Morty was a little badass and there was 1 funny moment. And I appreciate the foreshadowing to Rick's backstory.

60. Childrick of Mort. Eh this episode is fine. The joke at the end was funny and Rick and Beth did have some sweet moments, but this episode was mostly just boring and unfunny.

59. How Poppy Got His Poop Back, definetily the weakest premire, this episode again is just boring, I liked Rick and Morty's interaction at the beginning but besides that there's like…nothing. Just a really forgettable episode.

58. Forgetting Sharick Mortshall. Meh. There was an emotional moment at the end but that's really it. Not much to say about this episode. I mean I liked Morty here at least.

57. Rickmancing the Stone. Eh, it's just kinda boring. Nobody was particually good or bad in this episode. I thought Beth was cute in the episode but that's it, this is just..meh.

56. The Jerrick Trap. I dunno if this opinon is unpopular or not, but it's just not that funny or interesting, Morty was cool here though.

55. Rickstar Ricklatica. Rick was an ass in this episode, there was 1 funny joke and I like Jerry here, but Rick was too much of an ass here for me to rank it higher.

54. Never Ricking Mort. There is some funny jokes, but that's it. And the forehead kiss scene makes me uncomfyyyyy

53. Auto Erotic Assimulaton. Wooboy gonna get chased by an angry mob for this one. This episode is heavilllyyy overrated. It's not funny and just really boring. It's only up this high because the ending scene in fucking amazing and heartbreaking.

52. Ricksy Business. Boring episode, but the ending was cute, but overall the weakest finale.

51. Rick: A Mort well Lived. I liked seeing Morty doubt that Rick cares about him, but this was done leagues better in Fear No Mort, here it was just kinda bland, same thing with the side story with Summer.

50. Juricksic Mort. There's a lot of good Rick moments here, and I liked some of the jokes, but other than that, there's not much here.

49. Pickle Rick. Probably my most controversial pick for the list. I mean this episode isn't bad persay, just extremely overrated. I thought some jokes were funny, and I liked Dr. Wong's speeches, but besides that this episode was just boring.

48. Gotron Jerrysis Rickvangelion. Some funny moments, but other than that, meh. The ending scene haunts my nightmares though.

~ C Tier every episode here is average to good! They aren't the best to offer, but they are ok! ~

47. Rick & Morty's Thanksplotation Spectacular. Funny moments, but that's really it.

46. Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate. Ik this is a controversial pick, but I think people are too hard on this episode, yes the focus on dicks is gross, but there's funny bits and Rick is actually likable here.

45. Air Force Wong. It's good for seeing how much Rick has changed, but besides that, there's just not much to this episode.

44. Amortycan Grafetti. Great for Rick's development,and there was one funny joke, but other than that eh. I LIVE for Summer calling Morty a creepy little grandpa's boy though.

43: The Old Man and The Seat. Fine episode. some jokes are funny and the end is sad, but there's not much else to it.

42. Promortyus. A controversial pick to be sure, but besides the facehugger part, the human part was very funny and the aftercredits scene is also funny.

41. Rickternal Friendshine of the Spotless Mort. This is kinda overrated, but I see the appeal. It's not very funny, but Rick is likable here, and Birdperson was back. I do appreciate them showing Rick's sexuality, but that's about it.

40. Night Family, not really funny, but the story and action are great. Not much else to say.

39. Bethic Twinstic. Again, yes the 2 Beths being in love is gross. BUT the B story is cute and funny, and the jokes about the rest of the family being traumatized are funny.

38. Wet Kaut American Summer. This was funny, and Rick was likable here, but the story and Kauto part is too weird for me to put it in B tier, but it's a really solid episode!

~ B Tier, these episode vary from good to great! Solid, enjoyable episode! ~

37. Pilot. I tend to flip flop a lot on how I feel about this one…but the jokes are funny, there's some cute moments, and it started the show to begin with. So B tier you go!

36. Lawnmower Dog. There's funny moments, I like the inception plot, and the ending was really cute!

35. Big Trouble in Little Sanchez. This is another one I flip flop on, but the B story is enjoyable enough with some funny jokes, same with the A story, it's not spentacular, but an enjoyable watch nonetheless.

34. M Night Shaym-Aliens! We get a bit of protective Rick in this one babyyy. I like the plot, everyone was likable here, and the crystal fight was too adorable for words. There wasn't that many funny jokes, but this episode doesn't try to hard to be funny, so it doesn't bother me.

33. Final Desmithlation. Yes, yes, the incest part is gross. BUT Rick is likable, the fight scenes are cool, and there's legitmately funny jokes but…don't watch this one with family.

32. Edge of Tomorty. Eh this episode wasn't amazing, but it has some funny jokes, both stories were enjoyable, if not a little unmemorable, not a great episode, but a good one.

31. These Ricks Must Be Crazy. Another one I flip flop on. I'm not crazy about the plot, but there's a lot of funny jokes, so I'll give it a pass.

30. The Abcs of Beth, not very funny, but it is plot important and it shows Rick in a pretty likable light for the most part, this was also the first Rick and Beth episode and they did it MUCH better than Childrick of Mort.

29. Star Mort Rickturn of the Jerri. Good episode, enjoyable plot, introduces Space Beth, funny jokes, and emotional ending. Not the best episode ever, but a really good one.

28. Vindicators 3: Return of World Ender. Jealous Rick in this one babbyyy. I LIVE for his pettiness in this episode, the Vindicators are enjoyable characters, even if they get killed, it's not the best episode, but it's definetily an enjoyable watch.

27. The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy. Rick is likable here, the B plot is enjoyable, Rick's "The reason why you suck" speech to Jerry was pretty on-point. Deducted some points because it's not very funny, but solid episode!

26. Morty's Mindblowers. Does it deserve to be ranked this high? …Probably not. But it's one of the first episodes I watched and it holds a special place in my heart for that. It's funny and has some good Rick moments.

25. Mortynight Run. I like Morty trying to do good, but failing at it. Rick is a little unlikable here, but he has some good moments, it has memorable side characters, and a good song, but it's not that funny.

24. Mort: Raganrick. Rick's character development is shown amazingly well here. I'm so proud! There's also quite a few funny moments, I think the B story is a little overrated, but still good, solid episode!

23. Get Schwifty. I like the song, Rick was funny here and was likable in an asshole way, it also introduces the president. So yeah, good episode!

22: Something Ricked This Way Comes, this episode is really funny! Rick is pretty likable, I don't really like Summer, but that's really it, I also really like the B plot and Jerry was really likable!

21. The Vat of Acid Episode. Very funny and I liked Morty a lot in this one, Rick was just an asshole just to be an asshole here, but it's too funny for me to place it any lower.

20. Total Rickall. The ending scene is fucking amazing holy shit. But unlike Auto Erotic Assimulation, it has good stuff besides that, the jokes are funny and the action is fucking awesome! Would definetly recommend!

19. A Rickle in Time. Okokokok. This might be a little too high for it but HEAR ME OUT! Ok, it isn't very funny, but the B story is very cute, and there were a few funny jokes. The ending scene also reveals SO MUCH about Rick's character and is SO amazing and fun to anaylze! PLEASE watch this episode if you haven't already!

18. Rixty minutes. Funny episode, with really good emotional beats and both the A and B story are really good. Defineity check it out!

17. That's Amorte. This episode is really really good. It handles it's serious theme exceptionally well! I had to dock it a little bit since the jokes weren't funny, but this episode is phenominal.

16. Anaylze Piss. Again great episode! It handles it serious theme well, Rick is amazing here, so proud! I didn't like all of the jokes about piss, but everything else makes up for it. Please PLEASE check it out!

15. The Rickiture Mortyidate. Rick is likable here, very funny story, good pacing, character development for Beth, and there's even some cute bonding moments between Rick and Morty! Very good finale!

14. Rick Potion #9. Very good episode! Funny jokes, powerful ending, and it's very important to the plot! Some points were deducted because Rick was insuffable here and Morty was a creep, but still an amazing episode!

13. Full Meta Jackrick. UGH I love Rick so much here! There's a lot of funny jokes, an interesting story, and Rick is sooo likable! The pacing can be a bit slow at times, and I wasn't a big fan of the last few minutes, but great episode nonetheless! Go watch it!

12. Rest and Ricklaxation. UGHHH THIS FUCKING EPISODE! It makes me go feral in the best way, there are some funny bits, sure, but really it's the Rick character development for me, the line "irrational attachments lives rent free In my head ughhh. Please watch this one! It's sooo fun to anaylze!

11. Look Who's Purging Now. Very good episode! This one has funny bits, but it's the Morty character development for meeee. His repressed rage really needs to be explored more! And Rick lying about the candy bar to make Morty feel better was sweet.

10. The Rickshank Rickdemption. DAMN this is a good premire! It's very plot important, the action is awesome and we get Rick's backstory (although it isn't confrimed canon till later) and the garage rant was hilarous! Terrific episode!

9. The Wedding Squanchers. Great finale! It's funny, it's plot-important, and everyone is likable, and the ending STILL makes me sob.

~ S Tier. These episodes are great and nearly FLAWLESS! These are also my top eight!

8. Meeseeks and Destroy. I might be giving this one a bitttt too much credit, but it's really important to me, and I love it a lot! The jokes are funny, and they handle the serious topic near flawlessly, Everyone here is likeable (Besides Mr. Jellybean but he's not supposed to be) and I will NEVER not cry over it! Such a good episode!

7. Rickfending Your Mort. Such an amazing episode! Rick is so likable here! Everyone is! There's so many funny and heartwarming moments and it's amazing proof for Rick's character development! Please watch/rewatch it when you get the chance!

6. The Ricklantis Mixup. UGHHH the plot episodes are ALWAYS amazing! This episode shows Evil Morty's manipulation well and makes you excited for his next apprerance! It's not very funny, but the plot is so awesome that I can excuse it!

5. Close Rick-counters with Rick kind. Really great episode! Introduces Evil Morty (My Evil Babyboyyyy) and Doofus Rick! Rick crying over Morty always gets to me and Morty is amazing here!

4. Solaricks. Morty is a sweet little baby angel here, the emotional moments HIT! Everyone is likable and it's just a good episode overall, it's not very funny but it's a phenomial episode, please watch it!

3. Rickmurai Jack. I mean c'mon. Rick's backstory revealed? Rick treating Morty like an equal? THE FUCKING ENDING?! This episode did damn near everything right. Unmortricken is slightlyy better because I find it to be more emotional and is a lil more unique. This episode is fucking amazing though holy shit.

2. Unmortricken. Do I even really need to explain myself? It's funny, we got my three favorite characters center stage here (Rick C-137, Morty Prime, and Evil Morty) The death scene is POWERFUL and the ending scene really knows how to kick you in the stomach! The only reason why it's not the top is because I'm not crazy about Rick Prime as a villian, but amazing episode nonetheless. It's also very funny and Rick and Morty's hug at the end is everything to me!

Fear No Mort. MORTY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT FUCK YEAH! The exploration of Morty's trauma is incredible! And it has so legitmately funny jokes! The emotional moment really hits you in the gut! The pacing is really great, the montage is amazing, and the hug is EVERYTHING! This episode is so much fun to anaylze and just ughhh! It's so so sooo great! Please watch it!

[potentialguybodyswaps]

Brother body part swap part 1:

My teen brother after finishing high school and going to the same college as me as a freshman, went though a major transformation inbetween summer break and starting college

In high school he had a lot of friends, more than I do now as a senior, and I never really herd him talk about sex or getting with anyone when he was in high school.

But whenever we’d go home after school and he’d have his friends over, they would always talk about how and who they were banging that week, my brother always had the most outlandish stories, talking about how how he’d use his big dick to fuck whatever brode it was in his story, all the moaning, and getting his face shoved into her boobs

I was kinda proud of him, I’ve only been with 3 girls myself, but what I was even more proud about was hearing how he had a big dick, I’ve seen my father’s one time on accident when I was a kid and was afraid that’s what I would peak at. luckily I’m probs 3 or 4 inches bigger than my old man. I was worried my brother didn’t get laid any in school cause he had my fathers dick size, but I guess I was wrong

I envied my brother benji , i always thought he was better looking than me, and I don’t know how he went from the popular class clown to one of the supposed fuck boi’s on campus in such a short time

His friends always thought it was a bit weird that benji would invite me to their smoke sesh and get High while they told their latest stories and I never seemed to have any

I typically would just zone out and watch the tv, as their stories would just become white noise to me while getting high

One day after his friends left, benji shortly came back and sat down next to me while I was zooted watching Rick and Morty, he was always better functioning while high, probs from smoking in high school too, so he had a couple years of experience, I only started smoking with him cause I was curious and didn’t have a connect myself…

Benji started talkin to me, and started asking some weird questions, but I tried not to pay any attention to them since I was so into my show

“Hey Christian, I have a question for you” he said trying not to seem needy for a answer

“Yuh” I said still staring at the tv

“Um how old were you when you first got laid” he said putting his hands together and leaning forward focusing on the tv with me

“17” I said

“And ummm… how big is your dick”

“Uh like 9 inches…. Um…. You?” I said Tilting my head a bit to look at him

“Um… 7, myself, why do you ask” he said seeming uneasy

“Bruh, chill, I don’t care, you asked first after all, what’s the problem bro, something wrong?” I said, turning back to the tv

“Um, I mean I guess, some girls I’ve been with kinda think I’m small” it was as if I could feel him sink into the couch after he said that

“Nah bro, your good, I mean your pretty good looking, no homo. And 7 inches isn’t small, bigger than average, she’s probs just a college slut, there’s always someone bigger. Now let’s just watch the rest of this, and finish the season haha” i said laughing and reaching over to give him a brotherly tapping on his chest

“You think I’m good looking? haha thanks bro. just one more question, what’s your body count, or like how often do you get laid” he said laughing seeming to return to his happy self

“Um like 2 or 3” I said

“2 or 3 girls or times” he said looking directly at me shocked

“Times bro, now shut up, we can talk about this later” i said annoyed now

Thankfully benji decided to shut up for while… but I did decide to knock on his door before we both went to bed, so we can get up early and drive to campus…

***knock knock knock***

“hey bro, you good?” I said looking at him sitting down on his bed biting his lip, hair dangling down looking at his phone.

“Ya Chris, I’m good…” benji said not really seeming like he was in a good place

“Aye you sure ben? You know I’m here for you right? You’re my favorite little brother you know?” I said smirking

“I’m your only little brother” he said seeming to cheer up a bit”

“Ya I know” I said still standing at his door frame

“May I come in?”

“Ya”

I stepped into his room, which was kinda a mess but I don’t really blame him, my room was kinda the same when I was his age

“So um about some of the things you were talking to me about earlier, what was that about?” I said taking a seat in one of Beni’s gaming chairs, swinging it around so I can look at him

“Um it was nothing… just, some girl problems…. You know what I mean?” He said looking kinda sad at me

“I mean ya, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my heart broken before but I’m not like you Brosif, it almost seems like you and your buddies have a game going on to see who can fuck the most girls or something haha.” I said trying to relate to him

“That’s the problem bro” he said tossing himself on his bed but still facing his head towards me so I can here him talk

“I can get with chicks no problem, but none of them seem to wanna date me for some reason, and the few I have dated, cheated on me with guys they said had bigger dicks, said I wasn’t enough for them” he said looking very distraught now clinching a pillow to his chest

I felt bad for my bro, it seems he’s really trying, but just can’t find the right girl, I know how it feels to hurt like that.

“Man, like I said earlier, they must just be sluts if that’s all they care about bro, don’t stress about it bro, I’m sure in a couple years you won’t think about any of them again” i said walking over and putting a hand on his shoulder

“ but I don’t wanna wait years, I wanna form a connection with someone that cares for me bro, it fucking sucks” benji said as I saw a tear slip out his closed eyes

“I’m sorry man, maybe I can try to hook you up with one of my exes bro, some of them have told me they thought you were the cute brother anyways haha, they might be interested, you always liked hanging out with me and my girlfriends right?”

“Ya” he said voice trying not to break

“Ok then, I’ll start work on it tomorrow, get a good night sleep bro” I said heading to the door”

“And um, benji, just know, your never lonely as long as you have family, your a good person, good night, love you bro” i said closing the door heading back to my room

Once back in my room I hopped on my instagram, and was scrolling though posts when I saw a post from benji’s fanstagram (fake instagram account) where he shared a link about some necklace that looked kinda cool but clearly wasn’t real (the material I mean, definitely didn’t look like real silver). I checked the comments and I guess it was suppose to be some magic prop from a show or something, came with warning labels and all, but what does a necklace need a warning label for? Ya know what I mean haha?

Anyways the necklace was SUPPOSEDLY enchanted by a witch, and the wearer could swap bodies parts with other people when he wore the necklace and put on the clothes of the person he wanted to swap with.

I thought it was weird but decided to go ahead and purchase it anyways for him, sometimes ya just need to get a gift for one of your family members, plus I mean his birthday was in a few days anyways, luckily the deliver date was a day before his birthday, talk about coming in clutch haha.

The next day came by and was kinda uneventful, for some reason I was just really excited to see benji’s face when I give him his gift

I did however was able to get one of my ex’s “Beth” to agree to go on a date with him, even better was it was gonna be on his birthday too, guess I got him 2 gifts haha, when I told him he seemed really excited telling me I’m the best brother anyone could ask for

Another day gos by uneventful, benji telling me about all the idea’s he has for his date, asking me questions like what I think she’d like… I told him, “just be you, maybe hang out for a bit, dinner if she gets hungry, perhaps take her to the lake and go for a swim” I said winking at him

“How am I gonna get there? It’s be kinda weird if you drove us, also kinda pathetic if she has to drive us” he said seeming like he was trying to hint at something

I rolled my eyes and tossed my keys at him “duh bro, you can borrow my car I guess while you go on your date, don’t fucking scratch it tho, you know mustangs aren’t cheap”

“Seriously bro? Your gonna let me drive the stang? What’s the catch, why are you being so nice all of a sudden” he said squinting his eyes at me

“No reason bro, it’s your birthday, that’s like 1 of the 2 days a year I legally have to be nice to you, what you don’t wanna drive it?” I said raising an eye at his question

“No!, No!, I do! It was just a question that’s all” he said back peddling

The rest of the night went as usual, play’ed some games, did homework, kept checking the mail all the way till 9 pm waiting for benji’s gift to come, it’d be ashame for it to arrive after his birthday, not really a birthday gift then is it?

The next morning I got dressed and ready to go to campus, benji was the first one out as usual and just waited in the car, but he did yell out the door that I had a package on the step

“This is it” I thought to myself “it arrived, good thing too, I’ll give it to him after school” my internal monologue continued as I ran down the stairs to grab it and ran back up to my room

I opened it up and saw the necklace in a plastic baggy, aslong with instructions…. “Who needs instructions for a necklace like seriously? How hard is it to put a necklace on haha”

It did look pretty cool, I decided to open it and try it on, my head was too big to just slide it over my head, so I had to unclasp it and clasp it again around my neck

Looking in the mirror on my dresser I decided it really did look good, and I should have gotten myself one too, that way we could match, but too late now I guess, could always check and see if they still have any later I suppose

For some strange reason I thought back to what the description said of the necklace, about how it could supposedly swap body parts by wearing other people’s cloths, and I know it’s dumb, but you know what they say. Curiosity killed the cat.

I didn’t have any of benji’s spare clothes in my room, but he did leave a pair of his shoes in my room from hanging out with me a lot

I took mine off including socks since if there’s a chance this would work, socks would probs mess with it, cause you know, socks are actually touching you, shoes just touch your socks

I managed to fit my feet in benji’s smaller shoes, they weren’t that much smaller than mine, but with me wearing size 12’s and him wearing 10.5’s they were small enough that I had to curl my toes to fit in them

I stood up with disappointment as I took a few steps and still felt my feet curled up…. I decided to sit back down and take them off. But when I did I was met with toenails that looked like they haven’t been clipped in over a month, strange since I just clipped mine last week…

A spark of hope was reignited as I noticed they seemed a bit smaller too

I stuck my foot back into benji’s vans and was shocked that I didn’t have to curl them to fit now… maybe I just had them so tense the first time I couldn’t feel that I didn’t need to curl them anymore…

I decided maybe this could be another gift for benji? Maybe let him live as the older brother for a week or something? If that’s what he wants of course…

I knew we were gonna be late to class if I spent too much time fucking off, so I decided to rush to benji’s room kicking his shoes off and striping. I opened his closet and grabbed a shirt and pair of pants and threw them on. I saw a pair of dirty underwear on the ground but decided against it, I feel like that would be too weird having my brothers junk

After waiting with my eyes closed for half a minute I opened them and saw that I looked a bit shorter, I mean after all benji was 5’10 compared to my 6’ so not to much of a difference. I decided to take my shirt off just to make sure I’m not crazy and saw my new chest and immediately knew it worked, I use to have a treasure tail on my stomach but not anymore sense benji could never grow one, plus my arms looked a bit thicker, not fat or anything, benji was far from that, but more like it looked like he went to the gym… once a week haha… not to mention benji weighed maybe 5 or 10 pounds more than me dispute being a couple inches shorter, I could see he, er I guess, I now had the beginnings of a faint 4 pack, I mean I had abs myself but they were from how skinny I use to be.

Now the Only issue, is I still had my old face, and I know benji didn’t wear any hats so that was an issue

Truthfully I wasn’t sure this would even work, not because I don’t believe in magic, I mean the shoe part proved me wrong, but because a lot of his clothes are hand me downs from me, but I guess aslong as he’s worn them it works?

I went back though his closet and found a hoodie that I’ve seen him wear before, I decided to put it on and zip it up, I put the hood over my head and pulled the strings so it covered as much of my face as possible and waited

“Please work, please let this count as a head article” i said outloud waiting

Wasn’t that long till I felt something touching my eyes

I let go of the strings and pulled back the hood still facing the mirror

“Yes! It worked” I said seeing benji’s face and much longer hair than mine

I was shocked to hear his voice, it definitely wasn’t mine but didn’t sound exactly like benji ether,

“is this how benji sounds to himself” i said aloud making faces in the mirror trying to get use to this

“Well I guess they do say due to vibrations in the skull, people think their voice is actually deeper than it actually is” I thought to myself as I tied benji’s shoes on and ran back to my old room and grabbing my old pair of shoes

Even tho this is crazy, I’m still thoughtful and knew benji must be feeling the shoe swap, if he hasn’t already noticed the rest of the swap

I ran down stairs and passed my mum on the way out “benji, I thought you all left already” she said not even bothering to stop preparing breakfast for when dad wakes up

“Ya I just had to grab something real quick, bye love you mom” I said continuing my way out the door

I got outside and continued running to the drive way, I got close enough and could see myself passed out in the passenger seat. I got closer and opened the passenger side door, seeing benji simply took his shoes off and relaxed instead of questioning what was happening

I tossed my old shoes at him and tossed my pair of keys on the lap waking him up

“Your driving Christian” i said winking at him

“Bro, what the fuck, why am I looking at myself” benji said pulling down the sun visor to check the mirror

“Holy shit, I’m you Christian! How is this possible” he said feeling his face

I pulled the necklace out from being tuck under the hoodie and shook it

“Remember this necklace you wanted?” I said still dangling the necklace

“You got it? And it actually works? Holy shit bro, this is crazy” benji said reaching into his pants feeling around

“Aye bro I think you forgot underwear” he said looking up at me

“Nah, I just felt like it’d be too weird to swap that, now any ways get up, your driving.” I said trying to get into the passenger side

Benji got in the driver seat and started it up, waiting 30 seconds for the engine to warm up before sticking it into drive

“So um, how long does this last? Or how long are we gonna stay swapped” benji said keeping his eyes on the road

“Oh I don’t know, there was a instructions manual but I didn’t think we’d need that, so As long as you want bro, aslong as it’s within reason, so could be for a day, could be for a week or 2, but I’m definitely not doing a whole month haha… you can consider this a 3rd birthday gift I guess”

“Jeez thanks bro, but um, you do remember I have a date tonight right?” He said a bit annoyed at the timing of the swap

“Well, I mean we can always swap back after class. Or…. We could stay like this and I could go on your date for you maybe? That way I can do everything possible to make sure she wants a 2nd date and continue seeing you, ya know since you always seem to fuck shit up haha” i said laughing

“Not funny dude, but ya I guess maybe it would be a good idea for you to go as me, you’d know what she would like, and could probs seal the deal with getting her to date me” benji said pulling off the road into campus to park

“Sounds like a deal then” I said reaching over to shake his hand

“Deal” he said

After benji turned the car off and we got out I decided to make a joke about the situation before I headed to his class’s

“Have a good day Christian” i said putting emphasis on the name

“You too benji” he said doing the same

I went to benji’s classes and tried doing my best impression of him, especially sense one of benji’s friends that we typically smoke with decided to come sit by me

I decided to talk with him and boast about how I got a hot date with Christian’s ex “Beth” to which benji’s friend just absolutely lost it

“You got a date with Beth? Dude that’s insane, I always thought she was your brothers hottest ex, you tots gotta get pics and share them with me bro” he said dabbing me up

“I don’t know bro, I might just keep them all for myself dude haha” I told him smirking

The rest of the day went as usual, or as usual as I can imagine for a day as benji. My date with Beth wasn’t for another 2 hours but I was still gonna prepare and go though my brothers closet to find the right outfit for this.

The time came and I went to grab my keys from benji, since he still had them on him personally.

I did everything I thought Beth would like, and it worked, took her for a early dinner, then a movie, and after wards she still wanted to hang out. I proposed going for a swim down by the lake which she seemed down for. We drove back to her house first since it was closer and she needed to pick up one of her bikinis and then headed back to my place since I would also need to get a pair of swimming trunks or shorts to swim in.

I went up to my room and saw benji sitting there playing one of my games, he paused it when he herd me come in

“How’d he go, does she still wanna go out” he said turning around seeming nervous

“Oh ya bro, it’s still not over, I’m just here to grab some shorts cause she wants to go down to the lake and go for a swim before it gets real dark… do you think it’d be wrong of me if I tried to fuck her on the first date? ” i said grabbing a bag and putting a pair of my black shorts in there and some towels

“Nah bro, I mean it does sound like something I’d do, so she might be expecting it” benji said smiling at me

Before heading out I left my bag next to benji as I went to take a piss, I could hear him leave the room and come back in a short amount of time. I came out the bathroom and saw him stuffing something into the bag

“What’s that” I said walking closer to grab my bag”

“Uh just some condoms, can’t be too safe right bro” he said stepping back seeming a bit weird, like I caught him doing something he shouldn’t

“Uh ya thanks bro, stopping at a store to buy some might have been weird if she knew I was planning to do this haha” i said laughing grabbing the bag and heading out

It was only a short drive to the lake, I parked and we got out together but decided to separate for a bit to change out of our clothes.

I got behind a tree and opened my bag, I couldn’t seem to find my shorts, I pulled out my phone and turned the flashlight on, pulling the towels out and found something I wasn’t expecting, my shorts weren’t in there but a pair of of benji’s orange, white and black striped swimming trunks.

“God damit benji, I told you I didn’t wanna swap dicks, that’s fucking weird, but I guess I have no choice now” I thought to myself as I kicked my jeans off and slide his swimming shorts on

I started headed to the lake but realized something felt off, my dick didn’t want to sit as usual, which I guess is understandable sense I’m not use to having my brothers dick. I decided to check the damage out and pulled my shorts down a bit grabbing my smaller soft cock

“Fuck bro I’m like 5 inches soft, but benji is like 3.5 soft, at best, I kinda wanna say closer to 3… he just must be a grower” I thought to myself as I herd Beth yell “hurry up benji, I’m waiting for you”

I could see Beth in the water, I got in to get closer to her but once I was waist high in, I saw she just undone the top half of her bra letting it float towards me “ops” she said giggling covering her mouth

After seeing that I hurried up and proceeded to go deeper into the water till I reached her. “Oh my god, your so gorgeous in this light” i said as I went in for a kiss

Beth allowed it and got close enough to wrap her arms around me and kiss me back “funny, your brother once used the same line on me, but to be honest, I always thought you were the cuter one” she said inbetween making out with

“Haha, thanks I get that a lot” I said feeling my dick starting to grow. It must have touched her legs as we were kicking to stay afloat cause she knew where I wanted to go next “should we take this to the shore” she said guiding me to it anyways

“You know what you’re doing?” She said sliding the bottom half of her bikini down exposing herself to me

“Ya, I just hope your ready for this, I’m almost as big as Christian haha” i said pulling my pants down just to have to bite my pride with shock mixed in

Benji had lied to me about his size, he wasn’t 7 inches, no where near, I looked down was greated by my new 5 inches of glory

I could see Beth’s facial expression change a bit as she covered her mouth

Before she could laugh or say anything I decided to just stick it in

Truthfully I could see why a lot of girls passed on benji, I bet over half the campus is bigger than Ben, not to mention it was mere minutes and I was ready to blow

This is kinda embarrassing as fuck, I don’t want benji to remember me as the one that fucked up his date and chance of a long term relationship cause I couldn’t hold it on

I tried my best to remember where her g-spot was and eventually I found it, but I just couldn’t seem to hit it all the way, I simply didn’t have the length anymore, I was able to get quite a few moans out of her when I would get far enough in to graze her spot, but I’m not quite sure if it was because I was reaching it, or if they were moans out of sympathy trying to keep my ego in check

Another couple minutes go by and she starts pulling my body closer trying to get me as close and as far as she could get me inside of her, she was moaning telling me not to stop, and I tried not, if I could have lasted another 15 seconds, I might have gotten her to cum first or as the same time as me, but I couldn’t, I herd a metallic click from around my neck just as I started to cum and lose my rhythm right before I got her to finish.

“Fuck I said” panting pulling out and laying next to her “ I know I almost had you finish, I just barely beat you to the punch, I’m so sorry, not very gentleman like of me to not let you cum first haha” I said laughing trying to defuse the situation

“Well, you certainly don’t last as long as your brother, nor are you anywhere near as big, but I guess you did the best with what you had to work with, your lucky your cute you know, or else I might consider this a one night stand” she said laying there with her eyes closed for a few moments

“Ok, well, let’s get you home I suppose” i said getting up and offering her a hand up

I dropped her off walking her to her door, able to steal a good night kiss before separating for the night

I drove back home in a fury, benji almost fucked this up and he wasn’t even the one on the date!

I rushed up the stairs once I got home and went straight to my room, I opened the door ready to yell at benji but was left silent after being caught off guard. When I opened the door, I saw benji in my body, panting looking down at himself, no pants on, underwear halfway pulled down and cum falling off my big dick

“You didn’t!” I said loudly surprising him

“Uh uh uh, Christian, this isn’t what it looks like” he said panicking

“Really? Cause it looks like you swapped my shorts out for yours, I come back after my date almost exploding when I told her I’m almost as big as my brother, which was a let down for her when she saw that I’m only 5 inches hard! And walked in right as you finished jerking off in my body!” I said angrily

“Uh uh, I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help myself, I noticed my dick didn’t feel right, so I checked it out, and then I got hard from looking at it, and I just couldn’t help myself” benji said back tracking

“What ever dude, your lucky Beth still wants to go out with you, we’re fucking done with this swap, get out” i said grabbing some of my clothes and a spare beanie off the ground

“I thought you said we could stay swapped for atleast a week!?” Benji said defensively moving to the door

“Ya well you forfeited that when you took my shorts and swapped them with your own, I told you I didn’t want to swap junks with you, who wants a smaller dick? Not to mention balls. I didn’t wanna lose 2 inches and instead you forced me to lose 4. Now get out!” I said slamming the door on him

I kicked my shoes off stripped naked putting on all my old clothes, and layed on my bed waiting a couple minutes to swap back before I got up

I opened my eyes and looked at the mirror positioned so that I can see myself on my bed. I was surprised to still be greated by benji’s shit eating face

“What the fuck” I said outloud heading to benji’s room to get him to put the necklace on and swap us back

I walked in and he acted shocked to still see me as him

“Did you change your mind” he said smirking

“No as you can see I’m wearing my old clothes but nothing happened” i said trying to unclasp the necklace to give it to him but failing. “Now help me get this necklace off”

Benji came over and tried unclasping to no prevail.

Benji laughed and said “hold on” as he yanked the necklace making the clasp break so the necklace would come undone

Benji made a big ole show about picking up some of his clothes and putting them on before loosely tangling the necklace so it was kinda tied around his neck “did you ever read the instructions” he said trying not to smile but failing

“No, what could be so important about stupid instructions for a necklace” i said

“A magic necklace, and well, in the instructions it says that part of the magic is if you desire to keep the parts you have, all you have to do is cum, ether jerk off, sex, whatever gets you to blow” he said looking at me with a full blown shit eating grin

“And well, you already had sex with Beth in my body right?”

“Ya” I said slowly realizing what this ment

“And I already jerked off right before you got back. Which means nothing is probably gonna happen” he said

We waited there for a solid two minutes before I finally broke

“So you knew if you jerked off we wouldn’t be able to swap back? What the fuck is wrong with you dude, now we’re stuck like this! We gotta find a way to swap back, I don’t wanna be known as the small dick little brother” I said tears starting to form in my eyes

“Let me reiterate something you said to me not to long ago, “”who wants a smaller dick”” well not me, when I saw you weren’t actually bullshitting about having a 9inch dick, I decided I don’t actually mind having your body, knowing you’d probably try and bang your ex in my body, I decided to seize the opportunity and jerk off in yours so I can keep this” benji said putting his hand in his pants

“So if I was you, id get use to being the little brother in more than 1 way benji, cause luckily for me, this is permanent now haha” my brother said laughing to me, putting emphasis on his name.