#you have to maintain your space online

[smoozie]

I don't wanna be a hater, especially if this is for some reason preferred by others, but I hate when people do the Twitter thing for spoilers. Please just tag with "[series] spoilers". I do not want to see

[series] spoilers under cut

read more

I'm not clicking that, I'm scrolling. I don't wanna have to click in to see one sentence. It also looks bad. I don't want it on my blog. Consider tagging

[wreckedhoney]

^^ "coming to the conclusion that positioning the "can people enjoy things that would be immoral IRL in their fiction" debate as a proship v anti fandom debate is akin to pretending that "should we have the death penalty" is a discussion that only matters in Death Note discourse"

not proshipper not anti but a secret third thing (person who has a career in the media and, through covering legislative politics, has watched "associating with problematic fiction or entertainment is an indicator of moral degeneracy" rapidly become a mainstream GOP position that they are encoding in legislation to target the queer community under the guise of protecting children, thus coming to the conclusion that positioning the "can people enjoy things that would be immoral IRL in their fiction" debate as a proship v anti fandom debate is akin to pretending that "should we have the death penalty" is a discussion that only matters in Death Note discourse — the extent and manner to which fiction affects reality is an issue that is immediately relevant to today's US politics, and to summarize my opinions on the matter in fandom terms would be to diminish the ways this debate is affecting america Right The Fuck Now. and i have stopped taking "this person is bad for shipping the wrong anime thing and being horny about it" in any sort of good faith ever since I saw it literally used as part of a GOP smear campaign against a transgender state legislator in an attempt to defend the right from backlash after they used their supermajority in the Montana house to prevent her from speaking on the floor. Anyway I think everyone on this site, especially Americans, could benefit from ceasing to think in proship v anti vocabulary and instead developing coherent political positions on the nature of fiction that do not directly align with current fascist political tactics)

[communistkenobi]

I don’t really want to wade into discourse too much today because I know everyone is extremely miserable online rn but I think if you want to give people genuine advice on what to do politically, “join a union/get involved in your current union/organise your workplace” or “join ACORN/a tenant union/etc” is much more actionable advice than like “build community.”

the problem with “community” is that it doesn’t have the same formal infrastructure / resources / political connections / organising capacity that allows your hard work to have reach far beyond your immediate circle (which is what a union has), and also because like, “community” is an extremely vague and abstract concept that can mean anything from a local restaurant run by your neighbour to a church to your dnd friend group. Reaching out and helping your neighbours is a good thing, lots of people are having a really tough time and helping people around you pay rent or take care of their family or etc is a good thing and you should feel good doing that, but in response to the complete institutional and political failure of electoral liberalism I think the next best option is to turn towards already existing national infrastructure that can mobilise people without requiring you to individually maintain dedicated personal relationships with everyone around you. In my experience + the experience of many long-time activists that I know, relying on interpersonal connections to organise and get things done leads to highly sectarian, disorganised, toxic, and unpleasant organising conditions. The cold impersonal bureaucracy of union membership is legitimately a good solution to this problem.

there are many little positions of power available in these organisation that become open to you for as low a cost as showing up to zoom meetings. I have personally been elected to positions in various unions/orgs literally because I was someone who showed up to meetings! Nobody goes to committee meetings! You get annual budgets! You get to pass votes, organise events, spend money on organising materials! You get to buy food for people! Organising is so much easier in these spaces.

And of course, you are going to face the same ideological resistance, apathy, ignorance, incompetence, and bigotry that you would at your local queer meet-up or community neighbourhood council, and I have no illusions about the institutional limits of unions (which can also be reactionary, bigoted, highly disorganised, incompetent, toxic, and so on), but if you want to avoid completely exhausting yourself and resenting everyone around you, you don’t need to build “community” from the ground up, there are already structures out there where you can do good work. For all the resistance there is to unions and union activity, you will face that same level of resistance with local organising but have none of the power, resources, or institutional legitimacy already secured by unions

[maskedbyghost]

Simon Riley:

is surprisingly good at sewing. whether it’s patching up his gear or clothes, he learned to be self-sufficient over the years.

doesn’t sleep much and prefers staying up late. he’s always more focused during the night and feels more at ease in the dark. but ever since you moved in with him, he gets a few good hours of sleep with you on top of him as his favorite weighted blanket.

owns very few personal belongings. most of his space is neatly organized with just the essentials. he doesn't like clutter. still, he doesn't mind your obsession with coffee mugs, he's the one that gets them for you now anyway.

is great at chess and strategy games. when off duty, he occasionally plays with other soldiers but rarely loses. (he let you win once, but only bc you kept using your puppy eyes on him.)

avoids all forms of social media. he doesn’t understand why people want to post their lives online, and he values his privacy too much. he has an ig account, a fake one, just so he can look at your profile when he's away on a long mission.

sometimes sketches in his free time, mostly landscapes or tactical designs, using it as a quiet hobby. no one really knows about it, until you find a sketchbook filled with drawings of yourself. you never mention it to him, especially that one page with an engagement ring he sketched out with your exact measurements right next to it.

is surprisingly good in the kitchen, particularly when it comes to simple, hearty meals. he doesn’t cook often, but when he does, you are always impressed.

his guns and knives are always clean. it's part of his routine, and he finds the process of maintaining them therapeutic.

is awkward when it comes to casual conversations. he’s more comfortable giving orders or discussing tactical plans than engaging in chit-chat. that is why it took you so long to realize that he likes you. thankfully, you love talking and he likes to listen, so it all worked out.

is extremely protective of you, often worrying about your safety. if you’re in danger, his usually calm demeanor fades, and he becomes hyper-focused on ensuring you’re safe.

pays close attention to your habits and needs. he’ll notice when you're feeling down or when something is wrong, even if you don’t say it, and he’ll do whatever he can to fix it or offer comfort.

(if you have any requests pls do submit them, that's it byeee)

[theambitiouswoman]

Creating stronger emotional boundaries

1. Identify Your Emotional Triggers 🧠

• What to do: Reflect on past experiences and relationships to identify what makes you feel overwhelmed, drained, or anxious.

• How it helps: Understanding your triggers helps you anticipate situations where boundaries are needed, allowing you to protect your emotional well-being.

2. Acknowledge Your Right to Set Boundaries 💪

• What to do: Remind yourself that it’s okay to prioritize your emotional health. You have a right to say no and protect your mental space.

• How it helps: Embracing this mindset empowers you to establish boundaries without guilt or fear of rejection.

3. Define Your Personal Limits ✍️

• What to do: Determine what behaviors, conversations, or interactions make you uncomfortable. Write them down if necessary.

• Examples: “I don’t engage in gossip,” or “I need time alone after social gatherings.”

• How it helps: Knowing your limits makes it easier to communicate them to others and recognize when they’re being crossed.

4. Communicate Boundaries Clearly and Calmly 🗣️

• What to do: Use assertive yet respectful language when setting boundaries.

• Example: “I’m not comfortable discussing this topic right now. Let’s talk about something else.”

• How it helps: Clear communication prevents misunderstandings and shows others that you are serious about your limits.

5. Use “I” Statements 🗯️

• What to do: Frame your boundaries using “I” statements to express your feelings without sounding accusatory.

• Example: “I need some time alone to recharge,” instead of “You’re too demanding.”

• How it helps: This approach reduces defensiveness in others and focuses on your needs rather than their behavior.

6. Practice Saying No Without Explaining 🚫

• What to do: Learn to decline requests or invitations without feeling obligated to give a detailed explanation.

• Simple responses like, “No, I’m not available,” or “I’d rather not,” are sufficient.

• How it helps: Saying no without over-explaining reinforces your boundaries and reduces feelings of guilt.

7. Prioritize Self-Care 🛁

• What to do: Incorporate self-care routines that help you recharge emotionally, such as journaling, meditation, or spending time in nature.

• How it helps: Regular self-care strengthens your emotional resilience, making it easier to maintain boundaries.

8. Limit Exposure to Toxic People 🔴

• What to do: Distance yourself from individuals who consistently drain your energy, manipulate, or disrespect your boundaries.

• How it helps: Reducing time with toxic people preserves your emotional energy and protects your mental health.

9. Set Boundaries with Technology 📱

• What to do: Create rules around your use of technology, such as turning off notifications during meals, avoiding social media before bed, or not responding to texts immediately.

• How it helps: Digital boundaries help prevent burnout and reduce stress, allowing you to maintain a healthier balance between online and offline life.

10. Use Visualizations to Protect Your Energy 🛡️

• What to do: Imagine a protective bubble or shield around you that filters out negativity and keeps you grounded.

• How it helps: Visualization techniques can help you stay emotionally centered, especially in challenging environments.

11. Practice Emotional Detachment 🌊

• What to do: Focus on detaching from the emotional reactions of others. Practice observing rather than absorbing their feelings.

• How it helps: This allows you to remain empathetic without becoming emotionally drained or taking on their problems as your own.

12. Reinforce Boundaries with Consequences ⚖️

• What to do: If someone repeatedly crosses your boundaries, let them know the consequences (e.g., limiting contact, stepping away from the situation).

• Example: “If this topic comes up again, I will need to leave the conversation.”

• How it helps: Enforcing consequences shows others that you are serious about your limits and helps prevent future boundary violations.

13. Reflect and Adjust Boundaries as Needed 🔄

• What to do: Regularly assess how your boundaries are serving you. Adjust them if certain boundaries feel too rigid or too loose.

• How it helps: Life is dynamic, so being flexible with your boundaries ensures they continue to protect your well-being effectively.

14. Surround Yourself with Supportive People 👥

• What to do: Build a circle of friends and loved ones who respect your boundaries and encourage your growth.

• How it helps: Positive relationships reinforce your sense of self-worth and make it easier to uphold your boundaries.

15. Practice Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques 🌱

• What to do: Engage in mindfulness practices like deep breathing, yoga, or grounding exercises to stay connected to the present moment.

• How it helps: These techniques help you stay calm and centered, making it easier to recognize and enforce boundaries without being swayed by emotions.

[anipgarden]

Things to Do that Aren't Related to Growing Plants

This is my second post in a series I’ll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps! 

Some of us just don’t have much luck when it comes to growing plants. Some of us simply want to aim for other ways to help that don’t involve putting on gardening gloves. Maybe you've already got a garden, but you want to do more. No problem! There’s a couple of options you can look into that’ll help attract wildlife in your area without even having to bring out any shovels!

Provide a Water Source

Oftentimes when I see ‘add a water source’ in informational articles about improving your backyard for wildlife, it’s almost always followed by an image of a gorgeous backyard pond with a waterfall and rock lining that looks expensive to set up, difficult to maintain, and overall just… not feasible for me. Arguably, not feasible for a lot of people. And that’s okay! There’s still ways to add water in your garden for all kinds of creatures to enjoy!

There’s tons of ways to create watering stations for insects like bees and butterflies. A self refilling dog bowl can work wonders! Add some stones into the receiving tray for insects to land on or use to climb out, and you’ve got a wonderful drinking spot for all kinds of insects! You can also fill a saucer or other dish with small stones and fill it, though it’ll likely need refilling daily or even several times a day during hot times. 

I've seen people online use all kinds of things to make water features. Some go with terra-cotta pots, pebbles, and a cheap pump to get a small and simple fountain. Others use old tires, clay, and a hole in the ground to create an in-ground mini pond system. If all else fails, even a bucket or watertight box with a few plants in it can do the trick--though do be wary of mosquitoes if the water isn’t moving. In situations like these, a solar-powered fountain pump or bubbler are great for keeping the water moving while still making it a drinking option for wildlife (it not even more appealing for some)--and these items can be obtained fairly cheap online!

Bird baths are an option as well--a classic way to provide for birds in your area, they can be easy to find online or in a gardening store! The only downside is that a good, quality bird bath can be pricey up-front. However, a nice stone bird bath should last a long time, be easy to clean and refill, and be enjoyed by many birds! I’ve also seen tutorials on how to make your own with quickcrete! Bird baths will be a welcome sight to birds, as they provide a space for them to drink and bathe to regulate the oils in their feathers for flight and insulation. Putting a stone in the middle will also help insects to escape if they fall in, and provide a place to perch so they can get their own drink. You’ll want to change the water and clean the baths regularly--as often as once a week, if you can manage it.

If possible, it’s highly encouraged to fill and refill water features with rainwater instead of tap water. Tap water is often treated, so instead of using hoses or indoor kitchen water, collecting some rainwater is a great alternative. Collecting rainwater can be as simple as leaving cups, bins, or pots outside for awhile.

Butterflies and other creatures will also drink from mud puddles. If you can maintain an area of damp soil mixed with a small amount of salt or wood ash, this can be fantastic for them! Some plants also excel at storing water within their leaves and flowers (bromeliads come to mind), making them an excellent habitat for amphibians as well as a drinking spot for insects and birds.

Bird Feeders and Bird Houses

Some of the fancy, decorated bird feeders are expensive, but others can be pretty low-cost--I got my bird feeder from Lowe’s for around 10 dollars, and a big bag of birdseed was around another 10 dollars and has lasted several refills! If you don’t mind occasionally buying more birdseed, a single birdfeeder can do a lot to attract and support local birds! If you’re handy, have some spare wood, and have or can borrow some tools, you may even be able to find instructions online to make your own feeder. You may not even need wood to do so! Even hummingbird feeders, I’ve found, are quick to attract them, as long as you keep them stocked up on fresh sugar water in the spring and summer!

An important note with bird feeders is that you have to make sure you can clean them regularly. Otherwise, they may become a vector for disease, and we want to avoid causing harm whenever possible. Also keep an ear out and track if there’s known outbreaks of bird diseases in your area. If local birding societies and scientists are advising you take your birdfeeders down for awhile, by all means, do it!

Bird houses are naturally paired with bird feeders as biodiversity promoters for backyard spaces, and it makes sense. Having bird houses suited to birds in your area promotes them to breed, raise their young, disperse seeds, and generally engage in your surrounding environment. Setting them up takes careful selection or construction, preparation, and some patience, but sooner or later you might get some little homemakers! Keep in mind, you will need to clean your birdhouses at least once a year (if not once per brood) to make sure they’re ready and safe for birds year after year--you wouldn’t want to promote disease and parasites, after all. But they could be a valuable option for your landscape, whether you purchase one or construct your own! 

Again, do make sure you're putting up the right kind of boxes for the right kinds of birds. Bluebird boxes are some I see sold most commonly, but in my area I believe they're not even all that common--a nesting box for cardinals or chickadees would be far more likely to see success here! And some birds don't even nest in boxes--robins and some other birds are more likely to use a nesting shelf, instead! Research what birds live in your area, take note of any you see around already, and pick a few target species to make homes for!

Solitary Bee Houses

A bee house or bee hotel is a fantastic way to support the solitary bees in your area! For a few dollars and some annual cleaning, you can buy a solitary bee house from most big box nurseries. Alternatively, you can make one at home, with an array of materials you may already have lying around! You can even make them so that they’ll benefit all kinds of insects, and not necessarily just bees.

Though you don’t even necessarily have to break out the hammer and nails, buy a ton of bricks, or borrow a staple gun. Making homes for tunneling bees can be as simple as drilling holes in a log and erecting it, or drilling holes in stumps and dead trees on your property. You might even attract some woodpeckers by doing this!

Providing Nesting Area

There are tons of different kinds of bees, and they all make different kinds of homes for themselves. Not all of them make big cavity hives like honey bees, or will utilize a solitary bee house. Bumblebees live in social hives underground, particularly in abandoned holes made by rodents--some others nest in abandoned bird nests, or cavities like hollow logs, spaces between rocks, compost piles, or unoccupied birdhouses. Borer, Ground, and Miner bees dig into bare, dry soil to create their nests. Sparsely-vegetated patches of soil in well-drained areas are great places to find them making their nests, so providing a similar habitat somewhere in the garden can encourage them to come! I do talk later in this document about mulching bare soil in a garden--however, leaving soil in sunny areas and south-facing slopes bare provides optimal ground nesting habitat. Some species prefer to nest at the base of plants, or loose sandy soil, or smooth-packed and flat bare ground. They’ve also been known to take advantage of soil piles, knocked over tree roots, wheel ruts in farm roads, baseball diamonds and golf course sand traps. You can create nesting ground by digging ditches or creating nesting mounds in well-drained, open, sunny areas with sandy or silty soil. However, artificially constructed ground nests may only have limited success. 

Providing Alternative Pollinator Foods

Nectar and pollen aren’t the only foods sought out by some pollinators! Some species of butterflies are known to flock to overripe fruit or honey water, so setting these out can be an excellent way to provide food to wildlife. You may want to be cautious about how you set these out, otherwise it can help other wildlife, like ants or raccoons. Butterflies may also drop by to visit a sponge in a dish of lightly salted water. 

Bat Houses and Boxes

Big or small, whether they support five bats or five hundred, making bat boxes and supporting local bats is a great way to boost biodiversity! Not only will they eat mosquitoes and other pest species, but you may also be able to use the guano (bat droppings) as fertilizer! Do be careful if you choose to do that though--I’ve never had the opportunity to, so do some research into how strong it is and use it accordingly.

Provide Passageway Points

If you want your area to be more accessible for creatures that can’t fly or climb fences, allowing or creating access points can be an excellent way to give them a way in and out. Holes in the bottom of walls or fences can be sheltered with plants to allow animals through. 

In a somewhat similar manner, if you’re adding a water fixture, it’s important to provide animals a way to get into and out of the pond--no way in, and they can’t use the water. No way out, and they may drown. Creating a naturalistic ramp out of wood beams or sticks, or stepped platforms out of bricks, stones, or logs can do the trick. 

Get or Keep Logs and Brush Piles

I’ve already mentioned logs a good handful of times so far in this post. To be used as access ramps, or as nesting areas for solitary bees. But they have value as much more than that! Logs on the ground provide shelter for all kinds of animals, especially depending on size--anything from mice, reptiles, and amphibians to things like turkey vultures and bears will use fallen logs as shelter. Inside of a decaying log, there’s a lot of humidity, so amphibians are big fans of them--meanwhile, the upper sides of them can be used as sunning platforms by things like lizards. Other animals can also use the insides of logs as nest sites and hiding places from predators too big to fit inside. Fungi, spiders, beetles, termites, ants, grubs, worms, snails, slugs, and likely much more can be found inside rotting logs, using the rotting wood as food sources or nesting places. They can then provide food for mammals, amphibians, reptiles, and birds. They can also be regarded as a landmark or territory marker as wildlife get more familiar with your space.

So how do you get logs for cheap? Try Chip Drop! I talk about them more in a future post, but you can mark saying that you’d like logs in your drop, so they’ll give you any they have! In fact, you may even get a drop faster if you're willing to accept some logs. You may also be able to approach arborists you see working in your area and ask for logs. There may also be local online listings for people selling logs for cheap, or just trying to get rid of them. If there’s land development going on near you, you may be able to snag logs from trees they cut down to make space. Do keep in mind, you don’t need to have huge gigantic logs laying around your property to make an impact--even small logs can help a lot.

If possible, creating and leaving brush piles on the edge of your property can be a great boost to biodiversity--even if you may not see the wildlife using it. They’ll provide shelter from weather and predators, and lower portions are cool and shady for creatures to avoid the hot sun. The upper layers can be used as perch sites and nest sites for song birds, while lower layers are resting sites for amphibians and reptiles, and escape sites for many mammals. As the material decays, they also attract insects, and as such they’ll attract insect-eating animals too. As more small animals find refuse in your brush pile, their predators will be attracted to them as well. Owls, hawks, foxes, and coyotes are known to visit brush piles to hunt. Making a brush pile can be as simple as piling branches and leaves into a mound, as big or as small as you want. You can even use tree stumps or old fence posts near the base, and keep stacking on plant trimmings and fallen branches. Do note that you don’t want to do this near anything like a fire pit.

Don't forget, with all of these, your mileage may vary for any variation of reasons, so don't worry if you can't take all of even any of these actions! Even just talking about them with other people may inspire someone else to put out a bat box, or leave a few logs out for wildlife!

That's the end of this post! My next post is gonna be about ways to get seeds and plants as cheaply as possible. For now, I hope this advice helps! Feel free to reply with any questions, success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!

[ohnoitstbskyen]

PINNED POST, FAQ, INFORMATION

Hi, I'm TBSkyen. I make videos on YouTube sometimes. This is my main tumblr blog, the "brand" blog as it were, where I maintain my Social Media Presence™ on this site.

I use the ironic ™ to signal my personal discomfort with the work of being a minor media personality even while I still do that work and make a living off it.

I have a sideblog called @tbposting, mostly for shitposts and reblogs, and in my opinion I have pretty darn good taste in reblogs, so you can follow that if you want. It's also where I'll do random personal posting, microblogging, etc.

This main blog is primarily for 1) answering asks, and 2) posting my Original Content™, usually my main channel videos, as well as the occasional longer essay or critique. Sometimes I'll reblog an interesting or useful thing, or boost a friend's work, but I try to keep the spam to a minimum.

---

About Me

I am a thirtysomething content creator whose primary expertise is character design.

I have a bachelor's degree in English, never finished my master's, did most of a bachelor's degree in history, and that's it. These are my academic qualifications, no more and no less.

My professional experience is primarily being a freelancer and self-employed creator. I spent the better part of a decade working as a commission artist, running webcomics, drawing fanart, and the occasional animation work and not safe for work commissions, and I have at this point a decade of experience and self-study in the subjects I cover. I have also done online community management for, god help me, almost twenty years, so that's a part of my skillset I'll never escape.

I do not have any particular professional creative industry experience, although given what I hear from my professional friends, sometimes that seems like a blessing.

Please maintain a critical distance when engaging with my work. I am a critic. My work is very rarely meant to be taken as authoritative or didactic, and when it is, I will make it clear in my writing. Just because I speak with confidence doesn't mean I am trying to assert objective truth.

---

TAGS (to follow, or filter)

#tbanswers is the tag for every single ask I answer on this blog

#tb reblog is the tag for reblogs

#tb essay is for the occasional longer essay or critical writing

#tbvideos is for my videos and Content™

#tb recommends is for the occasional recommendation of a video essay or other creator

Yes, I know the spaces are inconsistent. It's not on purpose, I just typed them in haphazardly when I started using them and it's stuck.

---

FAQ (before you ask)

Q: Will you ever do a video about ____ ? A: The answer to this question is almost universally "maybe someday, if I have time, and if I feel I have anything worthwhile to say." And the more realistic answer is "no, because I already have far too much on my plate and I have burned myself out too many times." In general, please don't ask me this question, I will most likely not answer it because I have given the same answer a thousand times, but I still feel guilty about not answering them.

Q: Will you continue your series of videos about ____ ? A: Yes! I will continue the let's plays I started, I will finish the Boss Designs series, I will do another What's the Deal With, I will do more shorts about the subjects I've got going on. The main obstacle is, again, my tendency to overload myself.

Q: Do you have a PO box? Can I send you something? A: Not yet, but I'm looking into it. It may be a while before I get it set up.

Q: Do you have merchandise? A: A little bit, yes, at tbskyen.redbubble.com.

Q: What's your opinion on [game/movie/comic/book/etc]? A: I struggle to answer very open, broad questions like this. Most things I have opinions about, I have multiple opinions, and different ones depending on the perspective and specific element in question. I'm much more likely to answer specific, bounded questions.

Q: Can I send you fanart? A: PLEASE. Askbox, tag me on bluesky, send it to my email! I love seeing every piece of it!

Q: Why do you never appear on camera? A: A forest witch cursed me to look not quite but ALMOST like Paul Giamatti in all photos and videos ever taken of me, and his laywers sent me a cease-and-desist.

Q: Are you gay/straight/bi/other? A: The decision I've made for myself, at least for this period of my life, is that privacy is precious, and once given up can never be reclaimed on the internet. I am open about being aromantic (not asexual), because it's a sometimes invisible and underdiscussed identity, and I know it would have helped me a lot to see someone speak about it when I was younger.

The rest of it is for me to know, and for you to speculate about, although preferably somewhere I can't see it. I accept that this is a part of being a Personality, but it still feels weird, y'know?

Q: Is it weird if I find your voice kinda hot? A: I've put a lot of work into developing this voice and making it nice to listen to, so that's not weird at all and I find it quite complimentary, thank you.

I generally don't mind people doing flirty/thirsty posting about or at me, just so long as we all understand that 1) you should never give a stranger like me information which could be used to harm you. Nicer-seeming YouTubers than me have turned out to be monsters.

And 2) it will never go beyond playful online flirtiness. I like to fluster my live chat, I'll flirt back in an ask or a post maybe, but I am not flirting with you, or inviting any kind of closer intimacy with you, the person I responded to.

Think of me like a comedian doing crowd-work at a show - you can chat to me in the bar after the show, but when I asked you what you do for work I wasn't looking for a personal connection, I was doing my work as an entertainer. Please no sending me nudes, or propositions, or confession letters in my email inbox. We are strangers, and I am always performing a persona in public.

[occamstfs]

Spanish Shortcuts

Heyo, Here’s a Latino cultural/racial change, also my first foray into a possession transformation! Lessons to be learned about clicking dodgy links and letting spirits walk all over you!

¡Espero que lo disfrutes Atajos en Espanol! -Occam

The foreign language requirements of any American high school are guaranteed to be lackluster. It is no wonder that a nation so fixed on instilling American and English supremacy was so wont to neglect the study of foreign languages and culture. For his part Claude had just about forgotten all the Spanish that he learned not too many years ago. At the present moment he is browsing the web looking for some way to reclaim and improve on his meager knowledge. Despite his desire however, he is shockingly unwilling to do much at all to pursue this end.

Rather than the tried and true method of studying each day Claude is instead looking for not only the easy way, but an instantaneous way to regain his lost knowledge. This is obviously a beyond foolish endeavor, though having long heard tales of people waking up speaking in languages they hadn’t learned he was deep in rabbit holes online scouring for a ticket to bilingualism. Unwilling to admit that they were just old wives’ tales or shitposts he clicks link after link sure the next one will lead to some fruition.

Deep in websites he certainly should not be visiting without a firewall he actually stumbles on a thread in Spanish. Hastily translating the page through Google it promises the fluency of a native speaker through a single click. Claude scratches his cheek wondering whether or not to go through with it, could be malware, probably just a link to a meme or the like. He looks at the link in blue text, it’s just a name: Carlos Herrero. With little further ado Claude decides fuck it what’s the worst that could happen and clicks the name in blue.

The lights in his room flicker as his hand holding his mouse is promptly shocked. He pushes away from his desk shaking his hand in pain as suddenly there is a chill in the air. He shivers as he hears a voice, deep and unknown, whispering in his ear. “Hola hola hola mi perrito.” Claude shakes his head feeling the tickle of a beard on his cheek and swats at the air. “Ay! Lo siento, ah- ¿cuál es su nombre? Claude ¿Verdad? ¿Me entiendes?” (Ah! Sorry, uh- What is your name? Claude, is it? Can you understand me?) 

Claude looks around his room in shock at this mysterious voice, immediately assuming he’s lost his mind. He shakes his head trying to wake up or come to his senses, after a few shakes he feels a cold powerful hand grasp his jaw. He hears the voice continue to speak in words he couldn’t understand and did his best not to process lest it worsen the state of his mind. His eyes widen in shock as he stares into the space, feeling the skin on his face contort in response to a hand that is not there. He feels the grip tighten and his breathing  accelerates as he starts to hyperventilate.

As if in response to his fear the hand disappears from his face and he feels a heavy arm around his shoulder. “¿No querías saber español?” (Do you not want to know Spanish?) Claude’s ears pick up as he hears Spanish he can just about recall. In doing so his brain immediately reprocessed the preceding events in order to maintain any semblance of sanity. The link must have worked! This is just a dream or something that will end with him knowing Spanish, just like a video game. He just needs to play along until he wakes up. Neglecting how real everything clearly is he addresses the voice, willing himself to believe whatever it is that it’s not malevolent. “Okay, uh I’m down for whatever, thanks for your help, uh, ghost?”

“De Nada, Claudio.” With this Claude’s visions flicker as the chill in the air fills him. He gasps and sees his breath condensate as every inch of his body is ice cold. Claude falls out of his chair and scratches at himself, instinctively trying to claw something out of his body. He rolls onto his hands and convulses, retching as if trying to throw something up. As the seconds pass he feels his body rapidly warm from the bitter freeze, unsure if this is a mirage of heat like the comfort one feels in the throes of hypothermia he paws at his chest.

Before finding confirmation in any way Claude hears the alluring whispers once more, though this time not tickling his ear. Rather it is now a voice within his own head. “Testing testing, ah would you look at that. Now I’m speaking a language you can understand huh? Hahah!” Claude’s brow furrows as he wipes spit from his mouth. This was not the easy nap and wake up anew process that he was promised. As if it had access to his thoughts the voice responds to this. “Ah sorry if I misled you little guy, this is going to be a bit of work. Trust though! It will certainly be easier and quicker than wasting your time studying!” Claude rolls his eyes before remembering since this is probably a dream that at the very least in reality this will be over briefly. 

Claude then tilts his head and asks out loud to the voice in his head, “Why are you speaking in English now?” It sounds just like the one he heard earlier, if not a little more playful as it responds, “Ahh language processors, something or other- Don’t worry your little head about it, in time we both will be thinking in Espanol ya? In the meantime why not jumpstart it!” Claude purses his lips trying to find the inscrutable voice’s intentions as he does so the heat in his body begins to convert to energy.

He suddenly feels as if he’s had enough caffeine to power a body three times his size. He feels every muscle in his body demand attention and exercise as his hands start to shake. “Oh would you look at that! If it’s any help any time I used to get excited or stressed I’d always hit the gym, ya dig?” Already motioning to get changed for the gym to blow off some of this energy Claude pauses to once more try and understand the implications of the voice’s statement. “Sorry, what do you mean you used to?” 

There is then a jarring silence in his mind. Claude stands, gym clothes in hand, without a thought in his mind before the voice replies trying its best to disarm him despite its deep gruff tone, “Ah well, you know how these things go, it’s just dream logic right? This is all lucid dream, the quicker you stop questioning the sooner you’ll be a pro.” He feels a vein of chill air dash through his mind once more and he nods in agreement. His eyes lose their sharpness as he decides to just listen, throwing on some clothes and heading out.

Heeding the voice he endeavors not to question his circumstances. He gets in his car and does not wonder why, if he is truly dreaming, that he did not just poof over. Feeling his heart start to beat quickly in his chest, in response to anxiety in his chest or to the energy only continuing to course through his veins he is not sure. He looks in his rearview mirror to calm himself and sees the same reflection he always has. Claude smiles at himself seeing at least his appearance is static in this dreadful dream and heads in to get this over with, the voice in his cheering him on as he makes his way in. Increasing in fervor and volume with each step towards the door.

Once inside he Claude is shocked as the voice suddenly drops out of his head leaving him once more with the harsh silence of but his own thoughts. After having such a loud visitor in his mind he is almost uncomfortable with the feeling. Stepping up to the counter to check in he greets the receptionist, “Heyo! It’s Claudio hermano!” The receptionist tilts his head as for a second it’s almost like two voices came from the man in front of him. Claude looks down at himself and clears his throat before trying again, “Lo, Urgh, Sorry about that, Um It’s Claude Smith.”

The receptionist checks him in and Claude goes off to stretch. He doesn’t usually spend much time at the gym, just enough to stay thin. But something inside him tells him that today will be different. Something inside him. His head twitches to the side as the idea washes across his mind. Looking around the room to ensure he’s alone he tries talking to the voice, doing so he does not notice that his pitch has lowered, “Hey uh, I know you told me not to ask questions. But did you make me call myself Claudio earlier?” Having paused his stretches he feels a burning in his arms and legs demanding they keep moving. Obeying the pain, his lips quiver as if he’s about to speak and the voice responds, “Ay ¿Crees? (You think so?)Es just a slip of the tongue ya?”

Claude continues stretching carefully, taking deep breaths to assuage the anxiety building in his chest. He is facing away from the wall of mirrors, unintentionally or through some subtle manipulation. Otherwise he may notice as his hair slowly begins to darken to a deep shade of brown. The blonde locks he has always been proud of maintain their length as they darken unnaturally. The thought pops into his head that he would look good with brown hair si? He shakes it away as soon as it appears though, biting his lip to avoid voicing his concern at how much power this “voice” has over him.

Trying to center himself he closes his eyes as he continues to stretch. The companion in his mind is thankfully quiet as he pushes away the discomfort at the silence and instead appreciates the freedom. Little does he know the presence is simply acting on him in other avenues as he stretches. Claude smiles as he feels the burning relief of his stretches, grunting quietly enough that he notices not how his voice has continued to deepen, inching closer to the voice that is not his own. 

The pleasant burn of his legs as he stretches them becomes almost intoxicating as he leans against the mirrored wall. Were his eyes open he would see his calves begin to grow beyond those that he wakes up to every morning. They begin to bulge larger and longer as he extends them. Muscle the size of a baseball forces its way onto them as he stands smiling dumbly. His thighs then stain larger to match pace as they expand to hold the weight of someone a foot taller than he. The soothing burn of stretching hides the soreness that should be apparent and Claude begins to sweat as if he has been heartily working out for some time now.

Not to be outdone there is a whisper in his head that he should stretch his arms as well. Without a further thought, almost without his mind even sending the order to do so, his arms are out in front of him. Each second his arms lie extended they stretch further out from his torso. Claude motions to stretch his shoulders, wrapping one arm around the other, his biceps rub against each other as he squeezes his arm tight to his chest. His arms begin to show a bulge of muscle as he stands there biting his lip at the pleasure being wrought upon him through simple stretching.

Finally he raises his arms above his head to stretch his meager chest, struggling to do so as his larger muscles have begun to impede his dexterity. With his arms in the air and his pits exposed he notices that something has begun to stink up the locker room he’s been stretching in. Claude opens his eyes looking for the assailant, to no avail. He turns his head to the side thoughtlessly putting his nose in his pit, finding the scent closer he takes a deep breath before finding himself starting to chub at the scent. The voice in his head laughs, “¡Jajaja! ¡Nice brazos (arms) perrito! ¿A ti también te gusta mi olor, eh?” (You like my smell as well huh?)

Despite his best efforts at centering himself during his stretches, he is once more consumed with anxiety. He looks down at his body that he knows should be petite but instead finds one that does not go two days without hitting el gimnasio. He flinches as his mind automatically went for the word in Spanish. Wait, did the voice in his head just say his smell!? He sniffs the air and a thought forces itself to the front of his mind, Well this is what I wanted wasn’t it? His ears ring as he is not sure if those are his thoughts or ones implanted by whatever monster is doing this to him.

Claude feels an itch on his hand and he looks down to see the hand that clicked that link some time ago as it begins to darken. He sees a rich tan begin to spread up his suddenly muscular arm as veins throb down it aiming to increase the mass. “Q- What es, happening!?” Claude turns to look in the mirror and finds the tan racing across his body. He sees the patches of his unmistakably white skin tone become naturally sunkissed as his eyes widen in shock. He freezes up and the voice in his head takes advantage and tries to seize control outright, flexing his arm and revealing the thin patch of blonde hair in his pit as it grows dark as the hair on his head and thickens beyond the pale. The voice speaks in his mind deeper and stronger than ever as he begins to outright vie for control, “Tranquilo Claudio. (Chill out Claudio.) Let us see what I can do jaja!”

It takes a bit of concerted effort but the voice, who outs himself unsurprisingly as Carlos himself, step by step forces Claude’s body across the room in his catatonia. Claude feels a smirk on his face as Carlos positions him at the bench press. He clumsily lays back on the bench before checking the weights. Looks like some cabrón left his weights on the bar, though actually it's fortunate as Carlos doubts he has the ability to do such complex motor functions as he feels Claude start to wake from his stupor.

Carlos feels an itch on Claude’s face and he begins to smirk as he feels facial hair begin to grow, “Ay he might have cojones yet jaja!” Claude feels his mouth move of its own accord and finally notices that his voice has lowered considerably and he feels his body struggle as he tries to gasp as hears it develop a deep accent.

Before Claude can wrestle control back Carlos grabs for the bar and starts to do a rep. He grunts as he realizes this body is simply not strong enough at the moment to manage the weight that was left on the rack. As the pole is just about to pin him however Claude senses the peril and both minds in the body force the bar up. “¡Bien Claudio! Let’s see what we can do juntamente si?” (together yes?) Claude tries to grunt out a protestation but is suddenly racked with pain as his body must grow larger to force the bar up.

Both men feel as weight begins to pile onto the twink’s only recently muscled body. Claude feels as pecs develop on his chest, totally ripping the tank top that had grown tight while stretching. Carlos feels as his biceps surge larger than the thighs this weak body had not two hours ago. The expression on his face flickers between ecstasy and concern as he lies on the bench doing repetitions as his core strengthens and puts on mass.

After his chest and arms grow large enough to send existential fear into Claude’s mind and a hungry lust for more into Carlos’ balls, Claude stumbles off the bench and falls to the floor, letting the weights crash next to him. He feels pin pricks as tattoos begin to stain his tanned skin and he cries out in his changed voice, “No! Este es- This isn’t right!” with each word his voice cracks deeper and the English words become a tad more difficult to maneuver his mouth around. Without a beat, Carlos immediately takes control of his mouth and responds as his voice finishes changing to match the one in his head. “Ah, ahí estás equivocado amigo. Esto es perfección.” (Ah, there you are wrong friend. This is perfection)

Claude stands to stare in the mirror watching sweat trail down his body and ink rise in his skin. He looks at his chin as a beard begins to shadow his face. He sees his eyes as they flicker and begin to darken to a deep cacao brown. His lip quivers as if he is about to cry before without any input from him it turns to a sneer as he feels Carlos chastise him without words. Claude feels a pit in his chest as not only does he not need to hear them, he begins to feel the disdain himself. As if the will of Carlos was starting to become his own.

This causes a surge in his crotch as he feels in that regard Carlos has already wrestled full control. He feels his balls that are not his begin to grow and demand attention. They feel full and needy as pre begins to leak out of his growing erection. That happens anytime he goes to the gym si? As his eyes shift down to see his bulge make itself known his facial hair expands and his pubes begin to crest above his waistline. The small bush of pit hair begins to grow into a jungle as his balls work overtime to produce testosterone to power his poderoso body.

Feeling the hormones from Carlos’ balls pump through his veins Claude realizes what a losing battle he faces. He feels his thoughts begin to mingle with the man he foolishly allowed into his body as he begins to feel himself overwhelmed with the pressure and lust issuing forth from his crotch. He feels his fluency in English begin to wane as Carlos begins to overpower every aspect of his personality. Claude continues to stare at his reflection in the mirror and the anxiety and fear rapidly dissipate as he enjoys the power that he wields. “¡Dios estoy tan chacondo!” (God I’m so Horny) The two men voice as one, his voice reverberating through his chest as he feels power continue to surge through him.

Claude watches as his body flexes itself in the mirror without a single thought or any input from him. Not that he minds, it’s doing exactly what he would be doing anyway si? He smirks seeing his cock bob up and down as he struts across the gym floor. Every thought in his head is in fluent Spanish as he feels his identity fully mingle with Carlos’ as they truly become one. Despite this originally being Claude’s body he feels himself shrink and mold as he becomes an aspect of Carlos’ personality. Every action, every word, every movement will be crafted by the two of them. Though altogether Claude will just about always find himself thinking just as Carlos does, and both minds will more often than not be ruled by the powerful hormones coming from below.

“Debería haber preguntado sobre los términos y condiciones, Hermano.” (Should’ve asked for the terms and conditions bro.) He thinks to himself as he makes his way to the gym’s showers to pump one out. Over time even Carlos would forget that this has not always been his body. Each day he would continue to make it his own, increasing his mass and power. Outgrowing a wardrobe of clothes he would never be caught dead wearing. It did not take long at all to establish his supremacy as Carlos Herrero. Though there was some inherent difficulty navigating this land only knowing Spanish, Carlos managed well enough, confident that if needed he could perhaps let his passenger breathe enough to regain some English. At this point however it’s hard to say if any remnants of Claude remain, and moreover if he would even desire to emerge back into his own mind, it is of course much easier to simply indulge in the ceaseless pleasure he has found for himself within Carlos’ mind.

[thesunloveschips]

Obsessed - Part 9 (Azriel x Reader)

Summary: After Azriel's mother reprimands him, he orchestrates another coincidence that leads to a reconciliation.

Warnings: Y/n being a bit naive and delulu. Azriel being the hopeless billionaire still in love because we all deserve a man like this. Azriel saying fluffy and corny things because we deserve men who say such things to us.

Word count: 3.6k

Click here for Obsessed (Masterlist)

****

“You insensitive little shit.” Such a pleasant woman, his mother. “How dare you violate someone’s privacy?”

“Mum, I-”

“And this is how you approached her?” Clearly, Azriel’s mother had no intention of letting him speak.

“I-”

“There are many ways to meet new people, Azriel. The most common one being that you could’ve gone up to her and politely introduced yourself.”

“She would’ve rejected me.”

“She should definitely reject you after the stunt you pulled.” 

“How-”

“The audacity. . .” Needless to say, Azriel received a scolding for the next seventeen minutes. “Leave her alone, Azriel. You’ve hurt her immeasurably. Your devotion does not compensate for that.”

“I want her in my life.”

“Then start by giving her some space. Let her sort out her feelings.”

“She’s hurting.”

“You hurt her, in case you forgot.” Like his mother would ever let him forget. “And don’t creep around in your building’s common areas just to see her.”

“Yes.”

“If I hear anything otherwise, I will stop baking pineapple cake for Christmas.”

For those of you unfamiliar with Azriel, this was the most effective way to threaten him. With his favourite dessert. Or the lack thereof.

“Yes, mum.” But Azriel’s mind had already begun concocting ideas. He was the Chairman of Umbra for fuck’s sake. If he could run a billion-dollar empire, he could definitely get Y/n back.

“If you run a billion dollar empire then I gave birth to you. Mark my words, Azriel. If you loiter around her like an aimless fool, I will burn my recipe book.” 

His mother was a pleasant woman. Her threats did not involve bodily harm. But whether he’d be able to have his mother’s homemade desserts was still debatable. “I’ll call you later. It’s my turn for the appointment.”

“Bye, mum.”

“Maintain your distance.” And she ended the call. 

Azriel supposed Y/n would definitely like his mother as a mother-in-law. His mother would have a daughter to dote on and he could simply watch the two of them chatter while sipping coffee.

Y/n had an internship. At a university in another European country. As a research assistant to a professor. For three months. Then she’d return to her own university in the city where they first met and fell in love. 

Well, he fell in love and she was unaware but not to worry, everything would be fine. 

****

Azriel knew for certain that his events management abilities were applause worthy. Why wouldn’t they be?

Because the way he orchestrated his meeting with Y/n and ended up being her neighbour was something. 

And now, he’d orchestrate a few more events. 

Y/n’s internship had ended. 

It was a good thing for her professor that he was a well mannered, decent human being. Else, Azriel would’ve definitely intervened in a manner that wouldn’t have ended well. 

And now, she was back in the same city. She had just begun the second year of her master’s program. 

Wonderful. 

In three weeks, the reclusive chairman of Umbra would give his first guest lecture in a university. 

Was it a coincidence that this was the same university Y/n attended? Absolutely not.

Because Azriel did not wait around for things to happen. He made things happen. 

That’s how he reached where he was and he was definitely not going to be discouraged.  

She’d begun to shine again during her internship. Friends, both new and old, helped her navigate life. 

He hadn’t contacted her per his mother’s instructions. 

Some days, he’d just randomly opened their chat. He’d see her online and sometimes, he’d type but he never sent a message. And he never received one either. 

Azriel sighed. 

He looked at his choice of clothes for his guest lecture. The topic was his latest collaboration with Rhysand’s Velaris Corp to acquire Hewn Inc. 

He had to look so jaw droppingly handsome that Y/n would fly into his arms and they could run off into the sunset together. 

Black was his colour. 

He knew it.

And Y/n found him hot in black.

So it was decided. Black trousers, sweater, long trench coat. 

That’s how he found himself on the stage of an auditorium, holding a mic, giving a lecture, and answering questions posed by eager and foolish students alike. 

The lecture had ended. Some students and faculties stayed back for follow up questions. Azriel patiently answered all of them when he saw her. 

Y/n. 

And he was hers.

Immediately and undoubtedly hers.

What a sad time it was when he was not hers. A sad time spanning twenty-nine years of his life. 

“Excuse me.” And Azriel made his way towards her. But then he stopped when her gaze found him. 

Fuck. 

Fuck. 

Fuck.

He wasn’t prepared for this. 

He thought he was but he wasn’t.

He hated it.

The sight of her entire body seized by the grief of his betrayal. Her emotions all over her face for him to read that Y/n had most definitely not moved on from him. 

Someone covered her from his line of sight. A face turned back with the glare of a demon. Nesta Archeron.

He sighed. And Nesta seemed offended that her glare had resulted in a sigh. She turned back and took his Y/n away. 

Azriel looked up at the sky as he pulled out his phone. He still didn’t look at the device. 

The evening pinks and violets painted the sky. Clouds were scarce. The moon was readying for its appearance. And Azriel was brooding.

A call came. A different ringtone. The one he’d set for her. 

“How many more lies?” A soft voice whispered. He knew she was referring to him not telling about his designation in Umbra. She’d thought him an ordinary employee. 

“As many as it takes to ensure your safety.” He breathed. 

“Why are you here?”

“Guest lecture.”

“And it happened to be right here?”

“Yeah.” It would happen anywhere she was. Guest lectures, conferences, and whatever the fuck that would give him a chance to see her and breathe the same air as her. 

A pause. The wind whispered something to him and danced with his hair for a while. “You’re beautiful.”

Silence. 

The call continued. And he felt oddly chaotic and calm. 

“Go away, Azriel.” 

“I cannot take impossible requests.” 

“Then take impossible orders and make it possible.” Y/n was firm. “Leave me alone.”

“I cannot.” And he knew his voice was shaky. 

“Why?”

“I need to know you’re safe, comfortable, and happy. It’s all that keeps me sane in your absence.” 

“What if I meet someone else?”

His breath hitched. “Safe, comfortable, and happy, Y/n. That’s where my selfishness for you extends.” 

“And you’re selfless in other areas?”

“You ended our relationship, Y/n, not my feelings. I will be jealous. I will be angry. But I will prioritise your safety, comfort, and happiness.” 

He’d limit it to that. Let her think that his feelings were warm and fuzzy like that favourite blanket of hers and not a mad obsession luring him into an abysmal terrain.

She did not need to know that he’d dismember and torture and slowly kill anybody who thought they had a chance with her. 

Azriel heard a sob. Some core part of him cracked. He looked in the direction where she had disappeared to with Nesta. She was not there.

He wanted to comfort her. 

Hold her and tell her not to cry because he’d make it all better. 

But he was the reason for her tears. 

So he remained silent.

Her cries slowly stopped and he heard footsteps through the phone. “What are you really doing here?” 

“I want to see you.” The footsteps paused. She was probably standing somewhere.

“You saw me.” She immediately threw the words as if they were an accusation.

“Didn’t see you enough.” 

She remained silent. Azriel really couldn’t believe he’d said that. He was a master at controlling his emotions. At least, until Y/n.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Umbra?”

“I wanted to hog you for myself. Not for the man who owns Umbra.” 

“You are that man.”

“I’ve always been Azriel. I did not own Umbra all my life.” The pain of being an illegitimate child suddenly came to the forefront of his mind. 

“And now it’s an inseparable part of you.”

“Not as inseparable as you think.” Because he’d leave it all behind for her. 

“I liked you, Azriel.” Everything paused. The pain in her voice made it all too evident that she still liked him. “I really did but this. . . This is just. .”

“I want another chance, Y/n.” 

“How can you ask such a thing?”

“Another chance with you knowing the full extent of what I will do for you.” 

“And what is this extent?”

“There’s no extent.”

“What?”

“There’s no extent, no line, no limit on what I will do for you.” And even if there was an extent he couldn’t recall right now, he knew Y/n was not unreasonable enough to demand for it. And if she was, then he’d simply comply.

“Does that extent also include violating my privacy? Disrespecting me? As long as you’ve secured my safety and happiness?” 

“There’s no line I won’t-”

“The problem wasn’t the line. The problem wasn’t Umbra. The problem was you hiding it all from me. The problem was you not asking my permission, not considering my feelings, while digging up everything about me like a mole rat.”

Azriel remained stunned. 

How had this slipped past him?

He’d thought he was careful with her feelings. And so, he’d resolved to only tell the good things. Things that wouldn’t be troublesome for her while wanting to know all about her and her problems so that he could eliminate them and make life easier for her. 

But was this a true relationship where he carried the burdens and she carried the joy? 

Weren’t they supposed to carry their lives together no matter the good or the bad?

“You hide things from me but you want to know everything about me so you just get someone to find it all.”

“I’m truly sorry, Y/n. I should’ve told you everything.” And since he hadn’t, he’d lost her. “I was desperate to have every bit of you.” But that desperation hadn’t entitled him to all those bits. “I’m sorry for violating your privacy.” He should’ve waited to know everything that comprised this wonderful woman. “I couldn’t wait. And I’ve now lost you.” 

“What am I even supposed to say?”

“You don’t have any obligation to say anything.” 

“I have no obligation to listen to you.” No, she didn’t. This call was just an act of mercy she granted owing to her own feelings for him that she couldn’t control. 

“Thank you for listening.” 

“I suppose you have more to say.” 

“I do.” He really wanted to say these words at their wedding. 

“Let’s meet.” She sniffled. “I want to know what exactly you know about me.” In the background, he could hear Nesta telling Y/n against it. 

“When are you free?” She gave him a time and venue. And Azriel motioned to the assistant who’d accompanied him that they were leaving. “I’ll meet you there.” 

Silence prevailed. The only sound was his own footsteps.

“Why are you not ending the call?”

“I’ve never ended any of our calls.” Because he’d always wanted to hear her voice. Even if she had anything to say at the last minute. They’d done that many times. 

“Bye.” And he couldn’t help his sad sigh. Azriel walked over to the venue even though there was time. 

****

Y/n was getting the lecture of her life. Nesta was incessantly rambling while she got ready. 

She’d spotted Azriel outside the Department of Business Studies after her classes had ended and she was heading back to her flat shared with her friend. 

“You have to be careful with him. Are you listening to me?” Nesta placed her hands on Y/n’s shoulders. 

“Yeah.” She slumped against her best friend.

“And it does not matter if he’s devilishly handsome or sexy or you had the best sex of your life with him or if you like him or love him or he likes you or loves you or-”

“I’ll be fine.” Nesta really didn’t have to remind her about Azriel’s attractiveness. 

“Really?” Nesta didn’t say it out loud but she knew her well enough. Her friend definitely thought that Y/n would reconcile with Azriel. 

“Yeah.”

Nesta took her in a hug. “Got your pepper spray?” 

“Mhm.”

“So the first thing you do is to spray it. Spray it all over his unnecessarily pretty face.” Y/n remembered the first time she’d talked to Nesta about Azriel and she’d used the words ‘unnecessarily pretty’ to describe him.

“I’m going there to talk.”

“Then spray it on his eyes and ears.”

“All right.” Y/n chuckled. She knew her friend was furious at this man she’d never even met.

It had taken her a while to revive herself. The depth of her feelings for Azriel revealed itself to her only upon his betrayal. 

And she felt like she was heading to war. It probably was, in a sense. 

Y/n reached the park ten minutes before but she loitered around, her nerves wracking and snapping against her, telling her to leave. 

“Y/n.” She’d recognise that voice. She was weak for him like that. 

Y/n turned and saw him dressed for a funeral. In black. 

Any other day and she would’ve thought he looked hot but today when she was a miserable mess with no rein over her feelings, she worried for herself.

Was he going to kill her and chop her body and scatter the pieces in some sewer like he’d done with her heart? 

“Azriel.” Yep. She sounded weak. Affected. 

He took a step forward, the leaves crunching beneath his shoe. Y/n took a step back. 

This conversation was definitely going to be difficult. 

“Would you like me to remain at a distance?” He asked, gently. And she was reminded of the times when this man simply clung to her frame because he didn’t want to let go. In bed, the bath, all around their apartments.  

“Yes.” She breathed. “What do you know about me?”

And he narrated her own story. 

About her pathetic family, her horrifying mother, her counselling sessions from high school, all the people who hurt her, all the people she’d ever befriended. 

He knew everything that had ever been documented about her. 

At the end of his revelation, she simply closed her eyes and sighed. 

“I won’t tell anyone.” He promised solemnly. Was his word worth anything now? Or wasn’t it?

“Am I supposed to trust that?” She dryly asked. And with those words, she’d hurt him. She saw the hurt painted on his face like a dark stain. And fury pumped through her veins.

“You’re not entitled to feel hurt.” How dare he pretend he was the victim here? “Not after this.” She stood up and grabbed her sling bag and phone. Azriel immediately stood up. “I. .” But she really had nothing to say. 

Y/n didn’t know what he was going to do with all that information. But maybe it didn’t matter since he had the resources to do that to anyone. He could keep tabs on her for the rest of her miserable life. 

Even then, no matter how long and hard she thought about it, she didn’t mind. 

She didn’t mind him keeping tabs on her.

She didn’t mind him knowing where she was and what she was doing. She’d told him enough of that herself while they were together and happy.

In a way, she understood it. Maybe she even liked it. 

Y/n was honestly only bothered by him hiding this. By him digging her past out of a box she wasn’t ready to open in front of him. 

Was this devotion? 

Or simply madness?

“I won’t tell you that I wouldn’t do it if we went back in time because I would.” Oh, he was hell bent on making this difficult.

“You could’ve told me.” She whispered. “That you were having me followed.” 

Y/n closed her eyes and inhaled deeply before she continued. 

“And you should’ve waited for me to tell you everything.” All that fucked up part of her, a product of her mother’s parenting skills. “You have the nerve to dig into my past and yet, you kept yours hidden. You’ve kept your life hidden from me and I respected that.” 

Y/n held up a hand when she saw Azriel open his mouth to speak. He had such a beautiful mouth. She wanted him to kiss her. 

“I’m not interested in you knowing everything and that too without my knowledge and permission while I know nearly nothing about you. And before you ask, information on Google does not count.” 

“I’m an illegitimate child.” What? 

Y/n remained shocked as Azriel told her his story. Of how his father and brothers mistreated him and his mother, how he killed them before he took over Umbra.

“Why did you tell me? You had no obligation.” Gods, she really was weak for this man. And for him to be so emotionally vulnerable in front of her made her want to hug him. 

“Because now I realise that a romance is also to be a partnership. It shouldn’t be me knowing everything while you live obliviously. You have as much right to know.” 

Yep, she was doomed. 

Her resolve was faltering. And she was feeling and falling. 

The hot chocolate in front of her that she’d ordered as a formality was cooling down. 

“One chance.” She whispered, praying silently that he wouldn’t break her heart again. “And that will be your last one.” 

****

Azriel knew failure. Many different types of it. He’d known it when he failed his first test. When he lost his first fight. When his applications were rejected. When he had been rejected by friends, girlfriends, his father, his half-brothers, his stepmother. 

So much had been taken from him. And he’d been pushed to the edge of the world before he found the resolve to stand up. It was the sight of his mother cringing in front of his father. 

And then he concocted his wonderful five-year plan. At the end of it, Umbra was his. His mother, safe and comfortable. His father and half-brother, dead. And that wretch of a stepmother, practically exiled. 

And then he’d lost Y/n, truly and completely. 

Azriel wanted Y/n. He’d spent the best few months of his life with her. 

She made him endlessly happy and he tried his best to do the same for her. 

He knew her presence in his life was a privilege. But now it seemed like he’d never taken that privilege seriously and had never respected it in the manner he should have. 

So when she gave him one last chance, he’d been revived. His posture changed, eyes widening. Every movement right then felt as though he was rising from the grave or a coffin and returning to the land of the living. 

Honesty. That would now be an integral part of this relationship. There would be no excuses. And then he remembered something he’d caused. 

Azriel debated telling her but since secrecy had never worked in his favour in this relationship, he made his decision. “So, remember your ex?”

Y/n frowned. “Which one?”

“The one from college.” He was unprecedentedly nervous. 

“Yeah.”

“The one roped into a tax fraud.”

“Yeah?” Y/n blinked and leaned forward. “You did that?”

Azriel nodded quietly. She slumped back into her seat and sighed. “Well, he’s no longer my concern. Do I have to convince you to move on from him?”

“He hasn’t gotten enough.” 

“And he deserves no effort from anybody, the good or the bad. Anything else you want to tell me?” 

“I’ve never had a proper relationship before.” Her eyes widened and she kept looking at him as if she’d never seen him before. Why would she do that? 

“How come?” 

Why was she asking such a question? Wasn’t it obvious why he’d never been in a proper, serious relationship. “Because I’d never met you before.”

Silence prevailed. Y/n looked away in that adorable manner of hers, clearly blushing. And Azriel couldn’t help his smile. “Does that surprise you?”

She glared at him and then stood up. The evening wind was cool and felt pleasant on her face. Y/n looked around, finally noticing the park around her. 

People were in pairs, walking or simply sitting. Couples, most likely. 

And then there was her. With him. On a bench. Sitting at a distance. Azriel really wanted that distance to vanish. So he called her name. 

Y/n looked back at him and he was already looking back at her. “I swear to all the hot chocolate in the world, Azriel. If you ever pull a stunt like this, I’m leaving you.”

He took a step forward. And another. She did not move from her place. “May I?” 

“Yes.” She breathed, eyes closing. Memories sprung forth like a fountain from all the times they'd kissed.

He pressed his lips on her forehead before promising. “I won’t pull a stunt like this. Ever. And if you do leave me, you will be leaving with my heart as you did three months ago.”

“And you’ll give guest lectures to see me even after that?” Y/n leaned into his touch and smiled. The first smile in months. He felt some semblance of peace settle in his heart.

“A Ted Talk, if needed.” Azriel smiled at her faintly. And behind his smile, he really hoped for their future.

****

Taglist:

@fantanbietsson @angstylittleb1tch @fhgsvbnh @olive-main @cherryjain17 @halo-mystic @starofanotherworld @latinxbipride @viatorem-maris @acotarbestie @sevikas-whore @anthonys-viscountess @randomgurl2326 @thelov3lybookworm @cat-or-kitten @mortqlprojections @tele86 @rorel1a @red0202 @atomictyphoonkitten @colorfulgardenerduck @scarsandallaz @anonymousdisco @rcarbo1 @workof-a-rr-t @fuckingsimp4azriel @isabella13dusk @donnadiddadog @yannnnooooxoxox-blog @nxgh1 @thedeviltohisangel @katherinebright @fandomtrash5092 @epicsweetness712 @anik-4 @hitsxbikbv @julesvanslutta @fae-dreamer-99 @cartonkid1200 @anainkandpaper @yourwonderbelle @stefbroo @imjustagirl713 @bbykaixx @lilah-asteria

[thisisallthehattersfault]

Hi idk what anti needs to hear this but That's Not How Boundaries Work

Boundaries are something you set on yourself, for your own safety and comfort. A boundary can only ever be placed with regards to your physical body, or your immediate mental and social field. For example, you have a right to place a boundary around people visiting you unexpectedly at your place of work, because your stability and success require you to be able to do your work well, and because being at work "traps" you in that social situation. You're allowed to place boundaries around things like what terms you'd like people to refer to you as, or what topics of conversation you don't want them to try and engage you with. "I don't talk about money" is a boundary.

You cannot place a boundary on what other people do in their own space, on their own time. A friend of yours quietly posting and exploring content you've deemed "problematic" on their own side blog where you don't need to see it is not crossing your boundary.

I check the blogs of every person who follows me, and if they contain anti content, I block them, for the safety of myself and my other followers. I am maintaining my own online presence. If you don't want to see content that upsets you, then you need to do the same. You are responsible for maintaining your own boundaries.

And if somehow this last purge missed some of you, then allow me to make this clear: My blog is not a safe space for conservatives or fascists, and I do not support any form of violence, bullying, or harassment directed at people for the topics they chose to explore in fiction. If I catch you, you will be removed.

[worriedvision]

The inadequate act - Mr Reca

Gender neutral reader, Mr Reca may be out of character but screw it I thought this up. Happy ending I promise. Kind of suggestive at the end?

--

Being Mr Recas partner was difficult at times.

Specifically, it was difficult whenever someone fell in love with him to the point they would keep approaching him. You got with him as he was your best friend and you owed him a favour. He was fed up with people asking him out and not taking no for an answer.

So, you start dating, and you land up beginning to fall in love with each other. A pleasant surprise, you'd find out that he was a really good lover!

Unfortunately, one person who was an actor on a film Mr Reca directed also thought of him fondly.

A little too well. The actor thought Mr Reca loved them, to the point that during filming they found out your address to send flowers and gifts to. Your boyfriend brushed it off as an admirer at first, but you were uncomfortable with the idea of some stranger knowing where you lived.

And that's before the letters start - the gushy ones, the ones that rip your character apart, the ones that talk about how supposedly miserable Mr Reca was since your relationship started.

"What do you mean, 'it will stop soon'? This person keeps remarking on how I'm holding you back!" You huff, Mr Reca letting you speak your mind. "And why are you okay with this person continuously sending threatening letters to my - our - home?"

"Don't worry, darling. This is all going according to my plan." Mr Reca reassures you.

"Your plan for what? Breaking up with me?" You huff, Mr Reca unsure how to respond. "If you wanted to break up with me you could have at least told me yourself instead of getting an actor-"

"That's not what I was talking about!" Mr Reca roars, causing you to flinch. "I can't reassure you without ruining this plan. You'll just have to trust me."

"Relationships are about communication. If you can't even tell me of this plan of yours, how can I know you're not just trying to extravagantly break my heart?" You cross your arms, Mr Reca furrowing his brows before shaking his head.

"I would never embarrass you like that!" Mr Reca tuts, walking towards the door.

"You're leaving?" You ask, wincing after saying it as you realise you did create an uncomfortable house space via argument.

"We'll talk later." Mr Reca sighs, uncharacteristically quiet.

--

Hearing a knock on your door, you think it's your boyfriend. Opening the door, you're horrified to see the actor.

"I heard things haven't been too good between you and that director boy toy of yours?"

"Don't refer to my boyfriend like that. Besides, as an actor shouldn't you be able to maintain professionalism?" You retort.

"Well, just giving you a heads up, he's leaving you tonight. For me." The actor smirks. "I'm just here to get you to pack your bags. I'd help you, but I don't want to dirty my hands with your clothes."

"I want my boyfriend to-"

"Ex-boyfriend!" The actor corrects.

"To tell me himself. Not the homewrecker." You finish, closing the door before another word can be uttered.

--

Your boyfriend texted you, telling you to turn the TV to a channel. Taking a deep breath, you expect it to be a bit on your break up. He seemed rushed to test it to you, so it was obvious that this was running live.

"And today we have the honour of interviewing the one and only Mr Reca!" The interviewer smiles, the audience cheering and applauding.

"Mr Reca, I do hope I'm not intruding too much on your personal life, but can we get an update on your romance?" The interviewer starts. "You never confirmed publicly who it is you're dating, but there have been speculations online about an actor!"

You hear a series of ooh's in the audience, and you're reminding yourself to keep breathing as you watch on.

"Well, I am still happily in a relationship. With that being said, there has been a certain someone who's changed that." Mr Reca hums, waving for someone to be brought on stage.

To your understanding, it's the actor. They take a seat across from Mr Reca, and the way they're practically staring hearts at him makes you feel sick.

"It's so lovely for my boyfriend to make things official!" The actor giggles, the camera panning to Mr Reca who holds the most disgusted loom you've seen from him.

"And who is this boyfriend you speak of?" Mr Reca spits. "I've brought you here to address a concern."

"Thats right, Mr Reca!" The interviewer nods, turning to the camera. "This is not an interview like viewers will think. This is a PSA for those who cross both professional and personal boundaries."

"What is the meaning of this?" The actor chuckles, looking st Mr Reca as if they were innocent.

"My dear lover - not you, by the way - has been bombarded with horrible letters from you." Mr Reca sighs, the actor being cuffed. "The threats were serious enough, but to hear that you visited my partner to make them think I'm leaving them? For YOU?"

"How did you know about that?" The actor protests, the audience gasping.

"An admission of guilt. What a shame, I was hoping I could break your character down, however you are doing this all by yourself." Mr Reca laughs out. "Take them away, I'm filing a restraining order and therefore barring them from starring in any of my films."

"No, please, wait!"

"One final question." The interviewer asks, everyone on board as the screaming of the actor was far enough that it wasn't causing a big disruption. "Will we ever find out your lovers name?"

"The name I call them behind closed doors, or their real name?" Mr Reca jokes, before shrugging. "I'm afraid you'd have to ask them. I like having them to myself, after all."

"It was worth a try." The interviewer runs the back of their head before standing up to address the audience. "Thank you all for being here. Please enjoy the rest of your evening. Next up-"

You turn off the TV, the tears you only now realised were running down your face intensifying as you processed your boyfriend wasn't being dismissive, but rather taking things more seriously than you seemingly did. He got the law inforcement involved!

You think of how you could possibly apologise to him for being so harsh to him, for not trusting him, and you think a start would be by preparing a nice home cooked meal for him to enjoy when - if - he decides to come home tonight.

Before you can, however, you hear another knock on the door. Reluctantly opening the door, you see your boyfriend with a bouquet of flowers. He pushes the door open the rest of the way, eyes softening as he realises you've been crying, and he pulls you in for a hug before entering the home, closing the door.

Neither of you say anything, both of you just enjoying each others warmth as you begin to finally relax into him. You finally felt like you could relax, knowing the actor was not involved with your boyfriend at all.

"I thought about taking you out for dinner, but I think we can have much more fun at home." Mr Reca starts, caressing your face as you makes direct eye contact with you.

"Plus, I think actions speak louder than words for apologies."

[harmoonix]

Peaceful astro observations

~ Hakuna Matata ~ No worries ~

┍━━━━╝💎╚━━━━┑

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

▫️☘▫️Venus - Moon aspects can be very sacrificial, doesn't matter what relationship they are, friends or lovers they tend to give everything to them and they can end up hurt most times 🖤

▫️☘▫️Venus in the 11th house/Aquarius can be very protective of their friends, and being posesive around them it can happen very often, is not always a bad thing is just their mechanism

▫️☘▫️Venus in Aquarius Degrees [11°, 23°] the native can really have a unique fashion style and it can bring much attention from others because of their uniqueness, also meeting potential love partners in online can happen with those degrees

▫️☘▫️Mars/Venus in the 5th or 2nd house or in Taurus/Leo can make the native to have a very sensual personality, they are stunning while wearing gold or shinning colors and often giving luxurious vibes

▫️☘▫️Mars/Aries in the 3rd house/Gemini/Aries/Scorpio can really have a naughty mind, thinking about such things always and everywhere, sometimes it can happen so randomly and is scary

▫️☘▫️Saturn - Moon/Pluto - Moon aspects tend to be extremely protective of the people they love, they are always caring and sharing their love but not always recieving those things back, and that is making them sad

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Why, why can't this moment last forevermore?

Tonight, tonight eternity's an open door

No, don't ever stop doing the things you do

Don't go, in every breath I take, I'm breathing you

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

▫️☘▫️Jupiter and Neptune aspects tend to have this interested side of them being attracted to mysticism, and always being the search for new things related to spiritually/mysticism

▫️☘▫️Uranus and Pluto aspects make the native to be very wise and determined yet still discovering something new about themselves everyday, is like they learn something new but in the same time collecting moments of knowledge

▫️☘▫️Saturn - Ascendant aspects just have this *body goal*, their bone structure might be really strong and very prominent in case you go at gym and have these aspects your muscles can appear slower but it will be good in the end they will look amazing

▫️☘▫️Venus in Pisces/12th house or aspecting Neptune can make the native to fall in love blindly sometimes, they can create this fake illusion about their specific person, most times they can fall in love with people who will hurt them but because of their thoughts they think will think everything is fine with their specific person [I'm not saying everyone with those placements happen to have these but it can happen to many to fall in love blindly with dangerous people] {Venus and Neptune in minor aspects can aswell have this }

▫️☘▫️Neptune in the 1st house or Neptune aspecting the ascendant can absorb people's energy often and that can cause them to have a spiritual attack, like when you go on street and you feel sad and draining energies around you is because you can absorb them so always protect yourself from bad energies

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

How can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?

Everything I went through, you were standing there by my side

And now you gon' be with me for the last ride

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

▫️☘▫️Mercury in Earth degrees [2°, 6°, 10°, 14°, 18°, 22°] can have a good voice and can possess singing abilities/talents, they can really maintain their voices at high levels and have a good control upon that

▫️☘▫️Pisces and Aquarius Risings repsent the kids of the space, this influence can bring them so many questions about space, sky, galaxies etc... And can often get lost in their head thinking about "What if there is more than earth 🌎"

▫️☘▫️Neptune/Jupiter - Mars aspects in tight degrees can make the native to have hypersexuality energy in them, and being into this part of taboo. They can also be curious about those things and happy to learn about it

▫️☘▫️Natives with Sun/Moon or Mars in the 9th house have really strong beliefs and is very hard to change their mind about something they believe in, you can rather stay quiet than opening a subject these natives believe in

▫️☘▫️Moon in Virgo/6th house tend to worry about a lot of things and having this type of "overthinking" even in a relationship it cause them to fight often because of these, i know it can be hard but remember that you are very strong and you can beat these thoughts who make you to worry about bad things 💖

▫️☘▫️Virgo placements have also an obsession with cleaning, they can see literally every single little thing that falls on the floor, and they will clean it because these natives really like it to be clean, stress can happen if they don't clean or work

▫️☘▫️Aries/Scorpio/Aquarius and Gemini in the 7th/11th houses are the people who really get into very different relationships every time, every new person they met has something different than the other

▫️☘▫️Juno in Aquarius/Aries/Scorpio and Leo can get possesive spouses, especially when they wanna hang out with someone, their spouses can get jealous easily aswell is because of their 11th, 1st, 8th and 5th houses energeies

▫️☘▫️Asteroid Aglaja 47 [Splendor Asteroid related to beauty] in aspects with the Sun or Moon can make the native naturally beautiful and charming

▫️☘▫️Asteroid Aglaja 47 making an aspect with Uranus can make the natives beauty unique and different than others, the native can have something special about their appearance and personality

▫️☘▫️Asteroid Aglaja 47 aspecting Mercury or in the 3rd house, the native can have a very beautiful voice and the way the native put works together makes the native beautiful

▫️☘▫️ Natal Sun in the 12th house/Sun in Pisces natives have this charm upon them since they were born, the native always felt to have a connection apart with nature/animals this is giving highly empath person

▫️☘▫️Moon in the 8th house or aspecting Pluto can experience grief very painfully, is usually and indicator of pain when grief happens ❤️😭

▫️☘▫️ Mars in the 3rd/7th/11th houses can experience to argue with their friends/siblings/partners often because of the things that can happen between you

▫️☘▫️ Venus in the 10th/11th houses are world appealing, let's say that a lot of people can like you and can influence you in this time

▫️☘▫️Uranus in the 10th & 6th houses can change their jobs often due to their thoughts about others jobs or purely finding a better job at some point

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The theme for this post was inspired from Avatar😍😍😍, i loved the both 2 movies so much and it was such an inspiration to make a post with the whole Sully Family (atwow fans will know what I'm talking about 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Here some peaceful notes for y'all 😍🙏🏼 hope you will like it ✈️🌊

Make sure to give yourself the best treatment and to love yourself the most! That's very important for everyone 🌟💁🏻‍♀️🥰

Have a happy Thursday everyone!🥰 Much love to everyone reading my notes 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[himbocoups]

˗ˋˏ The NDA ˎˊ˗ | 18+ Only

SYNOPSIS: the budding romance between two movie stars and a promise backed by a stack of legal contractual papers. how much would you allow yourself to go through in order to be his?

PAIRING: actor!hjs x actor!reader (gn)

GENRE: romance, humor | suggestive

TAGS: costars to lovers, mutual pining | oral mention

WC: 2.1k

A/N: not using smut tags for this fic bc technically nothing happens. but I am still limiting it to 18+ readers. happy spring! I'm still not posting as often because I'm still working on my thesis, but thank you all for reading and enjoying my fics - ♡ nu

himbocoups's masterlist

As charming and alluring as he appears in online interviews and the multitude of print magazine spreads across the globe, it’s no surprise how the international sensation stuns you as he hovers his right hand underneath your chin before gently cupping it with just the pads of his middle and pointer fingers. His thumb lands on your bottom lip, slightly pushing into the velvet plush as he tilts your chin upwards. You’re unable to meet his eye, too afraid that you would either instantly combust into flames or go to jail immediately for daring to look Joshua Hong in the eye. 

“Hey. Look at me,” he murmurs. He slides his thumb off your lip and pushes the pad of the finger onto the front of your chin. “Are you afraid of me?”

He looks at you with such intent in his eyes. The spotlight that shines on the two of you only seems to be illuminating his face, so much that you can see the dust particles settling softly into the strands of his styled hair and suspended in the space between his lips and yours. 

You turn your head away from him, causing his hand to slip from its grasp. To your left, the audience composed of cast members, crew, production, and a number of Hollywood stars and agents watches as the scene continues to unfold. Continuing as you have once acted over several takes and then re-enacted several times over the length of the press tour, you look back at him with wide eyes. The expression on your face looks like a mix of confusion, hurt, and love. Your eyebrows furrow while you clench your jaw. 

“Stop smiling at me so sweetly,” you mumble. It’s loud enough to be picked up by the boom mic hanging above the both of you. 

“Smiling at you so sweetly?” he tosses the question back at you through a teasing smile. In one fluid motion, he picks up your hands from your sides and interlocks his fingers with yours. The only point of separation is the gap between your palms. “Why?” he asks while rubbing his thumbs against the fleshy part between your thumb and index fingers. 

“Because I’d be led to assume that you like me” You attempt to pull away from him, but his grasp is firm. He pulls you closer. “And I don’t like that.”

“My smile or my feelings for you?” An awfully cheesy line, but it’s overused for a reason so much that the single question causes the entire audience to gasp or hold in their breath as if hearing it for the first time in their life. 

There is a condensed amount of tension between your two characters that pushes and pulls the physicality and imaginative boundaries between their love and intimacy. You stare back at him with that stupid feeling of hope for nothing. Stuck as the character you played for months, you are starting to wonder if it is the character opposite of yours or the actor whom you like. 

“Everybody, a big round of applause,” tonight’s emcee announces into his microphone and ends the scene. 

As soon as you hear the applause and cheers, you pull away from Joshua’s grasp. For now, there is a physical space between the two of you that you would like to maintain, but the actor quickly breaks it by pulling you into a hug before passing you a bouquet of flowers from your manager. He holds your hand in his when the cameras start clicking, smiling widely into the ocean of flashing lights. You catch yourself staring at the few strands of hair that fall in front of his forehead, noticing how stiff the hair gel causes the strands to become. He doesn’t look back at you, so you smile, curving your eyes and creating apples in your cheeks as you have been taught to hide the fact that you’re deeply disappointed by the realization that you’re merely his coworker. 

But that thought doesn’t matter when he has you pressed against his hotel door later in the night, the automatic lock uncomfortably digging into your side. 

The whole world believes he goes to bed early, precisely at ten pm, after his viral “A Day in My Life” video shot in collaboration with a popular magazine channel. However, you know what his life is like past ten, how he would stand between your legs in his shower, hot water pounding against his muscular back. 

Lips swollen, chest covered in hickeys, and hair smelling like his sponsored products, you would often find yourself in his arms in bed after the shower. Legs intertwined, he would mold his lips against yours before kissing you down your chin, your neck, your collarbone, and shoulder. Finally, he would place an exhaustingly soft kiss against your temple before he wished you goodnight. You would force yourself to sleep, heart beating loudly while you tried to ignore how turned on you were even after he had his head between your thighs for the past half hour or so. He would arrive on set an hour after you did, holding a tray of coffees and clutching his script tightly under his armpit. Passing drinks to his fellow actors, he would hand you yours with a warm greeting, without any hint of what happened the previous night.

He is always willing to bend the rules whenever he can, but only if the rules aren’t set in stone by the law. He respects his partners and himself too much to actually have sex before a romantic relationship is established. On some nights he tells you that he wants to take the relationship to the next step while your ear is pressed against his chest and the tip of his chin against the top of your head. Other nights your knees are pressed against the uneven shower tiles when you take him in your throat. How he makes an effort to pay attention to and wipe away the droplets that fall from his chest onto your face guts you deeper than how you take him. And his sonorous promise about a relationship echoes in his chest and in your brain as each ticking minute passes by as it approaches the end of your movie contracts. 

The bouquet of flowers you were gifted at the event falls to your feet as you are guided to his hotel bed. The plastic wrap crinkles against the soft carpet, and stray petals cover more surface area. Joshua makes an effort to pick it up while laying you on the bed. Not breaking eye contact with you, he posits the bouquet on the nightstand in one fluid motion, with his left hand supporting the back of your head as if laying down a fragile artifact. 

He shrugs off his outer layer, the smart and classic partially lined suit that was lent to him from the designer herself, dropping it on the floor as if its value is worth less than your flowers. You feel the warmth emanating from his body as he positions himself above you, and you’re immediately engulfed by him the moment his lips reconnect with yours. 

A magnetic lure of intimacy has you whining as your head follows upward when he briefly pulls away from your lips for some air. He chuckles, a soft laugh, and the stretch of his swollen lips  imprints a smile on yours before melding and creating a whole. His knees dig and rest against your core, and your hands explore his back, tracing the curvature of his muscles to the dip before the shoulderblades. You want to be closer to him so much that your fingers grasp at his skin, only to be left with his dress shirt scrunched and balled between your fingers. 

Still, he gently bites your lower lip and tugs his head backward to allow the appendage to escape his grasp. Breathlessly, you watch him take his time to examine your face as if looking at something for the first time. You let his eyes roam between the different elements of your anatomy, connecting like stars of a constellation. You allow him to notice everything, from the creased powder under your eyes to the thin strand of saliva that escaped to your chin. 

He flattens his tongue against your chin, sending chills down your spine. And you look at him wide-eyed as a hint of mischief sparkles in his eyes while he licks away the saliva. He gives you a quick peck on the tip of your nose before he automatically shoots up from his position. 

“Stay here,” he tells you. 

“Why?” You’re confused. Either way, there isn’t really anywhere that you would want to go nor has he given you a reason to leave. 

“I have something for you,” Joshua hums while rushing over to the hotel closet. 

“A present?” Interest and curiosity cause you to rise from your position. 

“Something like that,” he replies. “Been planning it for a while.”

Half of his body is obscured by his open closet door, but you can clearly hear him unzipping and zipping different pockets and compartments of his bags. 

“Should I close my eyes?” You tease him while taking your time to unbutton your top. You watch his movements from a distance while your fingers slowly move from button to button. You have no idea what the surprise could be, but you know how you would like the night to end. 

He stands up around the same time you’re done unbuttoning your shirt. You round your shoulders and let the shirt undress you as it falls backwards and bunches around your wrists. The fabric lays against the hotel blankets and leaves your skin feeling cold. 

He stands before you with an amused look on his face. Folded in his arms is an important-looking manilla envelope. 

“Where’s your shirt?” He stupidly asks you as he takes a seat to your left. He drops the heavy envelope on a pillow before he reaches down to pick up the suit that he dropped on the ground. And he takes the time to drape it around your naked shoulders before turning to his other side to pick up the envelope. 

“Ah-” he sighs while bending the metal clasps that secure the envelope. “Do you know if our hotel provides pens?”

“Huh?” You let your confusion escape your mouth. A part of you wants to believe his surprise has to do with some sort of foreplay that he hasn’t tried before. “It’s probably in the leather room folder next to the telephone on the nightstand.”

He reaches into the envelope and pulls out a stack of papers and drops it in your hands. “Read it over. I’ll hand you a pen.”

“Is this some sort of sex act?”

You lean over to nip his ear, but he leans forward to grab the hotel folder. Instead, you find yourself nipping air. 

“I mean, it could technically lead to one. Or many?” He clicks the pen before handing it to you. “Sign when you’re ready.”

You frown while holding the pen and papers in your hand. In giant and bold letters across the top of the page are the words “NON-DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT.” His surprise he prepared so much for is an NDA. 

“An NDA? You handed me an NDA?” Your mouth is left hanging open as you stare at him in shock.

“Sexy, right?” He winks at you before his expression morphs into something solemn. “Although, I do suggest you look this over with your manager and lawyer. It wouldn’t be a fair contract if only one side benefits from constructing it. But once you sign, we’ll finally be able to be together.”

“You make it sound like we’re getting a prenup.”

“Babe, think about it. It’s like a sequel to a prenup.”

You fear that no amount of facial procedures from the best esthetician in the industry can smooth the amount of wrinkles you are getting from this conversation. Although, you are taken aback by this situation, you can’t possibly comprehend how a planned hot night alone with the actor before you can turn into this. 

Feeling flustered about signing legal documents when you thought you were finally going to fuck your co-star, you decide it’s probably best if you spent the night alone in your hotel room. You mumble something about looking the papers over while handing him his outerwear so you can properly put your shirt back on. 

“You’re leaving already?” He lightly tugs the hem of your shirt as if to ask you to stay. 

“I just remembered my manager wanted to meet me after the event.” A lie. “I’ll see you.”

“So no head?

Copyright © 2024 Himbocoups. All rights reserved.

[doctor-dusk]

𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐭, 𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞 | 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐭.

he showed you that movie theaters were not made exclusively for watching movies.

warnings: smut, oral (f receiving), piv, public sex. can't remember any more warnings beside these ones.

word count: 7.6k

series masterlist

ffs 7.6k words i'm gobsmacked- i ended up getting too excited, but uuuugh, i loved writing this part. i hope you like it :3

of course you accepted. 

however, as much as you wanted to see him, you were hesitant. you had never seen him other than via video call, and you were somewhat paranoid about people you met on the internet. so, you two agreed to meet at a movie theater, which was usually full and where you felt safe for a first date.

it was saturday night and you told your parents that you were going to the movies with your best friend. well, if you were paranoid, your parents were much worse than you. you couldn't simply throw them a ‘i'm going out with a guy i met online’.

but to be on the safe side and to maintain your own safety, you notified your best friend, giving her the address of the movie theater and saying that if you weren't home by midnight, she should call the police.

you were very nervous, of course. numerous scenarios running through your head. possibilities of everything going very right or very wrong. but you were already there. 

leaning against the cold wall outside the movie theater, watching the little movement on the street. usually on the date of a film's premiere, the frenzy is imminent. lines of cars on all sides of the avenue and more queues to buy tickets and get in the rooms. but now, it's calm. so calm.

you looked at your phone, checking the time. you scheduled it for 8pm, there were exactly 7 minutes left. you were too anxious, at 5pm you were already taking your shower and at 6:40pm you were ready. but you made sure to dress up well for the occasion. you could already expect the shower of compliments he might give you, like “oh, i love your dress. take a little spin for me” or “you smell so good”. something that would be very “alex” to say.

your cell phone vibrated, indicating that a message had arrived. in a rush, you rummaged through your purse, thinking it was a message from him.

“did he arrive?” you let your eyebrows fall when you saw it was a message from your best friend.

“not yet.” you answered, trying to sound optimistic. there is still time, he could arrive at any moment. your stomach was churning with anxiety, you resisted the urge to bite your freshly painted wine nails.

she didn't say anything else and neither did you, closing your hand around your phone and supporting your body weight on your other leg while you placed one hand on your waist.

you looked around once more, taking a few steps ahead, not having a right direction to go. you're bored. distracted. nervous. anxious. like you’re going to explode like a dynamite. you needed to relax your mind a little. 

you took a few steps closer to the parking lot, seeing how empty it was. you could count 8 cars there and 3 motorcycles. better, 4 motorcycles, since one was just arriving through the adjacent entrance. 

your eyes followed that motorcycle until it stopped, parking in the reserved space. it wasn't that dark despite some broken light bulbs in the parking lot, but you could recognize that the model of the bike was a kawasaki. maybe a W800. not that you're an expert, but do you remember that your uncle had a motorcycle just like that. he said he loved the motorcycle more than his own wife. isn't it surprising that they have divorced.

back to what you're seeing, the motorcyclist got off after placing the motorcycle's foot on the ground, securing it so that the motorcycle remained upright and without any risk of falling. the black leather jacket hugged his body just right, the dark jeans didn't seem to be that tight on his lower body, just accentuating the curves of his thighs. and wow, what an ass. 

his back was turned the whole time. he carefully removed his helmet, combing his hair back, but he didn't seem satisfied with the result when he looked at his own reflection in a car window. so, he pulled out a small comb that was in his back pocket, combing his hair back until he thought it looked presentable enough, slicked back to the last hair.

he put the comb inside his pocket and pulled out his phone from the front pocket. your heart raced. coud be him?

your phone vibrated in your hand. you looked at the screen, a message from alex popped on your screen.

‘’i’m here.’’

you froze in place, like your feet were glued on the floor. you looked back at the exact moment he turned around.

yeah, it was him.

fuck, fuck, fuck. it was him.

alex was more intimidating in person. not in a bad way, though. 

he wasn't that tall. but well, you didn't expect him to be as tall as a lamppost either. he was tall enough to make you stand on your tiptoes if you wanted to kiss him. pale skin under the streetlights, dark hair slicked back and covered in hair gel that made the shiny strands stay in place. it suited him well, although you were used to seeing him with a bit more unruly hair. but it matched his thin face, vibrant ebony eyes, thin, slightly pursed mouth. and oh, of course... the nose. the fucking charming nose. better in person. so much better.

‘’hello you.’’ he greeted you as soon as his eyes met your figure not so far from him. ‘’hope i didn't make you wait too long.’’

‘’you're here.’’ you said almost in a whisper while you put your cell phone back in your purse. you're acting a bit awkwardly, but you couldn't help it.

‘’guess i am.’’ he chuckled, standing in front of you, not knowing exactly how to greet you. he didn't want to admit that he was also nervous to see you. ‘’can i hug you?’’

‘’y-yes, of course.’’ you chuckled, watching him bend down just a little so he could hug you properly, wrapping his arms around your waist, hugging you tight. you wrapped your arms around his neck, really sure that you would need to stand on your tiptoes if you wanted to be at his height.

‘’mhm, there we go. you smell so good.’’ he muttered, running his nose over your shoulder, not touching your neck. he didn't want to sound so invasive.

funny, because you've done so much over video call. and now you're here, acting awkwardly like two teenagers.

you smiled weakly. you already expected this compliment, yet you’re giggling internally. ‘‘do you like it?’’ you asked, not failing to notice that he also smelled good. something woody, accentuating the masculinity he exuded along with the freshness of the hair gel.

‘’yeah. all for me?’’ he said, taking one last deep breath before breaking the hug, letting you return to your normal posture. you chuckled, seeing him gesture with his finger for you to take a little turn. very shyly, you did so, eliciting a low whistle from him. ‘’hell, you're even better in person, i'm feeling spoiled already.’’

‘’i have to impress you, don't i?’’ you raised both eyebrows, your palms sweating as you clenched your hands against the strap of your purse.

‘’nah, that's my job. gotta impress you even more now.’’ he chuckled, putting his arm around your shoulder so you could head towards the entrance of the movie theater.

you looked over your shoulder, taking a look at the motorcycle. ‘’is that yours?’’ you pointed curiously.

‘’yep. all mine. did you like it?’’ he asked, following your gaze to the parked motorcycle. you nodded. ‘’good. i'll show you better later. if you want, i can even teach you how to drive it.’’

‘’oh, please, don't give me any ideas.’’ you chuckled, already picturing him teaching you everything, telling you the name of each component of the motorcycle, how to accelerate, or how to change gears. you could already see his big hands guiding yours on the motorcycle's handlebars.

‘’don't worry love, you'll be fine, i’ll show you everything you need to know.’’ he said, giving you a gentle squeeze on the shoulder. ‘’so... do you know which movie you want to see?’’

you took a quick look at the catalog, seeing which movies were showing. none of them interested you visually speaking. you looked back at him. you didn't even need to say anything. after all, he wasn't interested in any movie either. deep down, you both knew that the movie would just be an excuse.

‘’it's ok. let's see this one.’’ he pointed to a random one, you didn't even have time to read the title because he was already holding your hand to go to the ticket office. there was no queue at all, so you didn't have to worry about that. ‘’good evening. i'll take two tickets for that movie over there.’’ he said to the clerk, who had a bored look on his face while he was fiddling with his cell phone.

you were already opening your purse to get your wallet when alex glanced at you, frowning immediately.

‘’what are you doing?’’ he asked, holding your wrist, making you stop and look at him.

‘’i'm going to…’’ you pointed to the ticket office. ‘’pay for my ticket.’’

he looked at you, almost dumbfounded. then, he laughed softly, shaking his head.

‘’none of that. leave it to me.’’ he said. you felt kind of stupid because he acted and said it like it was something unacceptable.

‘’alex, i'm used to paying for my ticket, it's ok…’’ you told him, not really caring, but he shook his head again. well, if you were stubborn, he made sure to be worse than you.

‘’used to it? damn, did those blokes made you pay for your ticket?’’ he asked, genuinely concerned, taking his wallet out of his front pocket.

you didn't answer. there was no need to answer since he was right. you had already lost count of how many bad dates you had been on and how many times you had had to pay for your ticket. it was ridiculous to think about it sometimes.

his frown softened as did his voice. ‘’not with me, hm? now be good and sit over there while i finish up here.’’ he said, letting go of your wrist and pointing to one of the cushioned chairs in the hall. ‘’do you want popcorn? soda?’’

‘’no, i'm good.’’ you answered.

‘’mints?’’ he pointed to the glass candy display. you nodded softly, deciding to accept at least a mint gum. you were already feeling weird enough for letting him pay for your ticket. it was unusual for you.

you made your way to one of the chairs, sitting there, crossing your leg while your purse rested on your lap. your phone vibrated again, and you already knew who it was.

‘’should i call the police?’’ your friend's message made you laugh softly, your fingers typing the reply quickly.

‘’you should call the fireman. god, you have no idea how hot he is.’’

she sent you a bunch of emojis, asking for more details. of course you could tell her enough, but not everything. and you wouldn't do it now.

you heard a whistle, seeing that alex was waiting for you with the two tickets in his hand. you stood up, putting your phone away and going to him. ‘’he said that the next session starts in ten minutes, we can get in there if we want.’’ he said, handing you the package with mints.

‘’good, we can find a good place to sit then.’’ you said, holding the packet of mints in your hand, not wanting to open it for now.

alex guided the way, his hand always holding yours as you made your way down the dark hallway to the dimly lit room, the large white screen seemed to hover over you as you climbed the carpeted stairs, being careful not to trip. he scanned the place, not that it was very crowded, just a few people spread out in different places in the seats. he wanted a spot that he knew no one would pay attention to you.

‘’there. sounds great?’’ he pointed to a spot in the first few chairs, right at the top. you nodded, following him until you reached the seats, he let you go first to sit in the chair on the left while he sat to your left. ‘’it's a good spot, hm?’’ he commented to you, taking a look from his point of view, seeing that it was hard for anyone to notice you there. you were sitting almost under the projector, so probably not even the projectionist would be able to see you there.

‘’mhmm, really good.’’ you said, opening the package of mints, putting one in your mouth, feeling the freshness invade your mouth almost instantly. ‘’want one?’’ you asked, handing the package to him.

he alternated his gaze between you and the package, your expecting eyes on him the whole time.

‘’yeah, but... i don't want any of those.’’ he answered and you already felt your throat close up a little. ‘’i want yours. can i have it?’’

fuck, that's it. it's your chance. don't fuck it up.

‘’yeah.’’ you answered, glancing at his arm passing over your shoulder. your stomach seemed to tie a double knot, your heart was beating so fast it felt like you were going to have a heart attack at any moment.

before your eyes could register, his lips touched yours tenderly, savoring the first contact as much as possible, like touching the grass after a rain on a calm afternoon, the smell of wet soil invading your lungs with force while you felt like a flower blooming on the first day of spring.

he was calm, but intense. you couldn't explain it, you could only feel every sensation he brought you with that simple kiss as he tried to taste your mouth when the tip of his tongue passed over your bottom lip. you let out a sigh you didn't even know you were holding when the kiss deepened, he explored the confines of your mouth as much as he could, swirling his tongue around yours, the mint candy passing from one mouth to the other in an almost frantic manner. his hand tightened on your shoulder, bringing you closer. you didn't even know what to do with your hands, keeping them gripping the arm of the seat.

you broke the kiss when you were forced to take a breath, panting softly, the candy had disappeared from your mouth, leaving only the slight burn of mint on your taste buds. but still, the taste of his kiss prevailed.

‘’wow.’’ he was the first to break the silence, running his thumb over your bottom lip, cleaning the trace of saliva from there. ‘’i think i accidentally swallowed the candy.’’

you chuckled, not really caring about it, your mind in a spiral, his kiss fresh on your lips like fresh paint. ‘’there's more here if you want it.’’ you replied, watching him shake his head slightly, his eyes drinking in your almost silhouette in the low light of the movie theater, he heard murmurs around, but nothing that took his attention away from you.

‘’maybe later, love. it was just an excuse for me to be able to kiss you.’’ he whispered, pecking your lips, making you practically beg for more as you tilted your head towards him, searching for his lips like a magnet. he let out a small chuckle. ‘’did you like it that much?’’

‘’you're a good kisser.’’ you admitted quietly. he really was a good kisser. you didn't know if it was because of your bad kissing history, but you also didn't want to burn your neurons thinking about it. you wanted his kiss again. and again. and again.

and he would be more than happy to give it to you.

he kissed you again, his lips searching for the perfect rhythm, still trying to fit together as precisely as a jigsaw puzzle. his breathing was heavy, the air exhaled through his nose and hit your cheek, the texture of his wet lips against yours brought you the feeling of being completely ecstatic as he moved his tongue, as if he was inviting yours to a slow dance.

his right hand passed over yours, his thumb lightly caressing your knuckles and fingers, sliding over the silver ring you had on your middle finger. you sighed softly when the hand that was on top of yours rested on your bare knee. before you could break the kiss again due to lack of air, a loud noise echoed through the speakers spread throughout the movie theater, startling both of you. oh, damn trailers.

‘’you good?’’ he asked, merely amused that you were startled by it, both of his hands rubbing your shoulder and knee simultaneously.

‘’yeah, just... unexpected.’’ you chuckled, feeling his lips pressing a small kiss on your forehead, giving you time to recover and maybe get in the mood again as the trailers played on the huge screen.

you felt comfortable enough to lay your head on his shoulder, the strands of your hair tickling his nose as he turned his face to place a tender kiss on the top of your head, his lips lingering there for a moment, inhaling the scent of your shampoo on your soft locks, almost burying his face there.

‘’i love how you smell. really.’’ he said softly, as if he was admitting more to himself than to you. he couldn't help it, as if everything inside him was succumbing to you. he didn't expect this on a first date, but he wasn't trying hard to stop it either.

‘’hm?’’ you asked, moving your head so you could look at him, waiting for him to repeat himself because you really hadn't heard, the sound of the voices from the movie forced him to speak louder or get closer to your ear.

but he didn't answer you. he kissed you instead, feeling the sweetness of your lips pressed against his. this almost made him groan, his desire increasing with each caress exchanged, with each miserable sigh you let out. the hand that was on your knee went up to your thigh, feeling more precisely how soft your skin was. the feeling stretched the smile on his lips.

‘’just the way i imagined. god, you have no idea how much i wanted to touch you like this. how much i craved this...’’ he whispered between your lips, feeling your warm breath hitting his lips. you were already numb, if you weren't sitting down, you were definitely on the floor, your senses seemed to be reduced to dust at this moment. ‘’so soft…’’ he whispered again, sinking his fingers into the warm flesh of your thigh, threatening to advance under your dress.

‘’alex…’’ you whispered back, your voice a mix of desire and nervousness. and as always, he knew it.

‘’is it okay if i touch you?’’ he asked, his head tilted back so he could look you in the eyes, seeking the assurance that it would be okay if he continued. you nodded, your desire speaking louder than any other insecurity or fear. you mentally thanked yourself for having shaved during the shower. not that you were expecting it, but... well, you were.

he kept his face close to yours, watching every single expression as his hand inched closer, your heat radiating more and more as you bit your lip in anticipation and excitement. he palmed your core, raising his eyebrows in a slight surprise.

‘’fuck, baby. soaked already. i didn't even do anything.’’ he let out in a sly tone, his fingers collecting your wetness over your panties, almost making you whine. he was delicate, he wanted to discover everything about you little by little, despite having already seen your cunt on video call. but it was different in person.

he teased you over the thin and wet material, almost feeling your folds molding in the panties, sticking and soaking even more when he found your clit, the bud marking the spot for being so swollen and needy.

instantly, it was like a switch had turned in his head. he didn't want to touch you anymore. he wanted to taste you. eat you. devour you.

you watched as he got on his knees on the carpeted floor, crawling that narrow and tight hallway just to stand in front of you. you widen your eyes a bit, getting a little alarmed by the idea.

‘’what are you going to do?’’

‘’gonna eat you out, babe. no one will see me, i promise. only you.’’ he answered, his hands going to your knees, looking up at you. your face was lit only by the movie screen, the flashes illuminating your insecure expressions more and more. ‘’need to taste you, please.’’

please. again.

your hands itched. you wanted this so much, so much. but you were also scared, a huge impasse. a voice in your head told you to go and another told you not to go. but oh, those big puppy eyes looking up at you was your undoing.

‘’okay.’’ you agreed, lifting your hips so he could take off your panties, each act increased the flow of adrenaline running through your veins, your body heated up as well as the rest of your organism as he held your knees, spreading your legs for him.

he held your panties, his fist closing around the lace, feeling the gluey wetness against his palm, making his cock twitch inside his jeans. he was hungry. so hungry for you.

‘’closer.’’ he urged, pulling your hips, leaving your ass almost off the chair, your body in a position almost lying on the armchair, your eyes wandering around before returning to him, his breath creeping up on your thigh. ‘’that's it, baby. you okay?’’ he asked, wanting one last confirmation that everything was okay with you before he continued.

‘’mhm... taste me, al. please.’’ you whispered to him, lust filled eyes looking down at him in a silent plea.

and nothing else was needed. no words, no encouragement. it was like the starting gun for alex to just bury his face between your legs, his greedy tongue sliding along your vulva, from bottom to top, collecting your juices. it was like he was tasting a drink for the first time. but it wasn't like he was eating pussy for the first time. but it was your pussy. it was different. he didn't know exactly what it was, but it was different, it made him want to get drunk, to drown in your ocean.

‘’my god, so fucking good…’’ he mumbled against your folds, moving his lips up to suck your clit, sucking so hard that you closed your legs around his head with equal force, your hands gripped the armrest of the seats until the blood stopped circulating in your hands, turning it white. “sorry, did i hurt you?” he paused, looking up at you.

“n-no, you were just... hasty.” you replied after blinking a few times, loosening the grip of your legs around his head, feeling the soft touch of his hands on your inner thighs, pushing your legs apart again, keeping his hands there to hold you in case you close them again.

“sorry. gonna take it slow for you, honey.” he apologized, feeling a little guilty for having done that on the first contact. 

but it was a little difficult for him to control himself. since he saw you last time, he had lost count of how many times he fucked his own fist imagining himself like that, rubbing his face in your pussy, sucking, licking, biting, touching every single inch of that area. it was like a personal achievement.

now, he knew he needed to take it slow. he wanted to make it good for you, to make you whimper his name and reduce you to a mess in that seat. he looked up at you, taking the sight of your scrunched face, your eyes leaving his to look around, making sure no one was looking. 

god, he had such a good tongue. you were already sure of that when he kissed you, but you really weren't expecting it to be even better as he lapped your folds calmly, but with that hint of hunger deep down. he mumbled something that you didn't even hear or try to understand, your head falling back slightly, your saliva running down your throat with difficulty. then, he tapped your thigh, catching your attention.

“can you do me a favor, love?” he asked, taking a breath that he didn't even know he needed, his lips were already starting to get swollen. “give me a mint.” he pointed to the package next to you. you looked back at him, deciphering what he was thinking of doing. “you'll like it, trust me.”

and you trusted him.

you took a candy from the package carefully, the green tiny ball stayed in the palm of your hand until you brought it to your mouth. he hummed in gratitude, feeling the freshness mixing with the taste of your pussy on his tongue. 

you felt your heart pounding against your chest, your face boiling red. he was no different, and for him it was a little worse, because he already felt that familiar feeling in the lower region, his jeans getting tighter at every moment. he wanted to release, he needed it. but he wanted to take care of you first.

his tongue meets your meaty slimy folds once again, you gasped when you felt it burn a little, but not in a bad way. it was a cooling burn, like an ice cube sliding up and down your pussy, making the mint press on your clit while he slobbered on your cunt like a starving man.

“good?” he muttered to you, looking up. you were a mess, shaking and squirming at his ministrations. 

“s-so good, please… more.” you babbled as he gave a smirk at your answer. his thumb moved to press on your clit, feeling it pulsing, craving, almost screaming his name. 

“i'm gonna ruin it.” you whispered, afraid that you would mess up his perfectly slicked back hair.

“gonna give you more, baby. your pussy is so delicious, holy shit.” his filthy mouth only sent shivers down your spine, the freshness and the eager way he eats you out made you see stars before your eyes, little twinkling dots as you felt a knot forming at the pit of your belly. you trembled, your hands gripping the arms of the seat, needing to ground yourself. “my hair, sweetie. you can grab it.” he hummed, holding your wrists, bringing your hands to his hair, the hair gel felt cool in your palms.

“i don't fucking care. make a mess, babe.” his voice sounded almost harsh as his hands returned to your plushy thighs, his sloppy tongue moving across your labia and clit, making your cunt pulse in an overwhelming rhythm.

it all seemed too much for you. the adrenaline, the hunger, the filthy words infesting your mind. your eyes rolled back as you gripped his greasy hair, a few strands falling down his sweaty forehead. you couldn't hold on for any longer.

“al, 'm gonna cum…” you choked as your hips bucked, almost like you're trying to run away from his mouth.

“fuck yes, come on my mouth, please, please…” he grunted, your words settling in his mind like a command. he grabbed your hips roughly, keeping you in place, his rolling tongue snaking through your folds and teasing your gaping entrance before your entire body shook, your back arching in the chair in an erotic way as your thighs clamped shut as you trembled, milking on his tongue.

you gasped for air, your fingers still clenching in his hair as he drank every last drop of your release, sucking it all in like he was a vacuum cleaner until he lifted his head again, his mouth coated and glistening, totally covered in you.

“fuck, i can't explain…” he breathed out. he almost came in his pants at that, as embarrassing as it was for him to admit. he wouldn't even dare palm himself now, any touch now would be dangerous and he would have a lot of work to clean it up later. “so fucking good, i swear. god, it was better than i imagined.”

you let out a breathless laugh, taking the sight of him on his knees, his forehead resting on your knee for a second as he caught his breath.

“i need to fuck you.”

a fierce blush spread over your cheeks at his words. you were never the type of person to have sex on the first date. but no, you weren't going to deny it. not when you wanted it as much as he did. not when he was different.

“and i need you to fuck me.”

the movie theater was behind you as your hurried footsteps made your way outside. your heart was beating as fast as your steps, you were even walking faster than him, his hand holding yours while the other hand still held your panties inside his closed fist. yeah, you didn't even bother to put it on. it’s not like you're going to need it now.

“motel?” he asked you. you shook your head. your adventurous spirit was at its peak now, and besides... you trusted him, but not enough to let him take you to a motel. 

“no, i was thinking about…” you said, stopping when you got close to his motorcycle. at this point, it was the only motorcycle parked there, and there were only three other cars there, all considerably far from where you were. 

“here?” he asked you, raising his eyebrows. he looked around. it was a quiet spot. it wasn't as well lit as the rest of that almost deserted parking lot. ‘’on my bike?’’ he asked again as he saw you leaning to support your weight a little on the leather seat. you swallowed a little, not knowing if he thought it was a good idea. or if he wouldn't like it.

‘’we don't have to…’’

‘’i want to.’’ alex approached you, putting his helmet on the ground near the front wheel of the bike and you did the same with your purse. he caged you between his body and the motorcycle, his arms on either side of your body, the heat of his body transmitting to yours. ‘’i just think you deserve to be fucked in a bed.’’

again, his words seemed to light a flame inside you. ‘’we can leave it for next time. i really like your bike.’’ you giggled, feeling his nose touching your cheek as he kissed your jaw. he smiled against your skin. you’re already thinking about the next time.

‘’course you did, huh? alright then. gonna fuck you from behind, what do you think?’’ he suggested, making you spin on your heels, your lower belly touching the leather seat, feeling his hard cock almost poking your ass if it weren't for the layers of clothes getting in the way. you could feel how thick he is. just like in the photos and videos.

alex didn't want to waste time. he handed you your panties so you could hold them yourself, soon having his hands free to unbuckle his belt and lower the zipper of his jeans, putting his hand inside his boxers to take out his pulsing and aching length of that tightness that felt like a prison.

he pumped his cock a few times while his other hand was lost inside his pants pocket, taking his wallet to take out a condom from inside.

‘’i can't see a damn thing.’’ he complained softly, searching for the foil package in the compartments of his wallet, finally finding it after a thorough search, ripping the packaging with his teeth and rolling it on his cock. ‘’you good?'' he asked, kissing your bare shoulder, his body molding against yours like a lego piece fitting together.

‘’mhmm, can't wait…’’ you nodded eagerly, bending your body a bit more on the motorcycle, feeling him lift the hem of your dress a bit, almost twisting the fabric as he closed his fist against it to keep it above your tailbone.

‘’such a greedy girl, huh? all shy when you saw me and now you're practically begging me to fuck you on top of my motorcycle.’’ he teased you, sliding his already condom-covered cock through your sticky folds before lining his fat tip at your entrance. ‘’are you a virgin?’’

‘’no.’’ you answered without having to think much.

‘’good.’’ he replied. not that he would have a problem if you were, but he felt like he would have to be a lot more careful. and that it should preferably be in a bed and not on top of a motorcycle.

god, you both were on fire. all the video calls, all the times he masturbated in front of the camera for you, all the nights he daydreamed about you, none of it came close to this moment. he have you, all of you, including your pussy, all to himself so he could fuck you senseless.

his tip slowly nudged and stretched you, an almost pathetic moan dared to escape your lips as you balanced yourself, letting your weight fall on the bike. he almost let a whine escape as he felt the warmth of your pussy. god, he couldn't even measure how much he wanted this, how much he had desired this since the moment he saw you.

‘’ready?’’ he asked one last time, his breath threatening to fail, his cock was already aligned, he just needed to push, your pussy was so wet from your own wetness and his spit from earlier.

‘’please…’’ you whined, looking at him over your shoulder, feeling his hand go to your waist to squeeze and bring some stability to him.

so, he didn't hold back. alex tortuously stretched your cunt as he began thrusting deliciously slowly, his bulky cock pushing past your tight gummy walls until he bottomed out.

‘’fuck.’’ he said between gritted teeth at the feeling of your pussy already clenching around him, so tightly that it was almost hard to move. ‘’sure you’re not a virgin? so fucking tight.’’

you could chuckle at his words if you weren’t trying to get used to him. ‘’you're the one who's too much for me.’’ you replied. you weren't used to this. when you saw his cock on the screen of your laptop, you knew it was big, but you didn't know you'd have to work to accommodate it, you didn't know he'd stretch you so much.

‘’easy, baby. let me in.’’ he coaxed you. ‘’shit, you're so…’’ he grunted again, swallowing thickly. he didn't know if it was because he was really horny for that moment or if it was because you were really tight. maybe both.

your hands gripped the leather of the seat, your palms sweating more as you tried to relax for him, letting alex pump his cock in and out of you, your cunt swallowing and sucking him up, almost trapping him inside you.

‘’yeah, just like this, doing so good, let me fuck you good, hm?’’ he whispered in your ear, kissing your earlobe, starting to thrust at a gradually increasing pace. he released your dress, bringing his hand to your cheek, pinching it slightly, making your skin flush where he pinched.

‘’fuck, you feel so good, so thick…’’ you gasped, your eyes getting glassy because while it felt good, it was also too much for you. he smiled cockily at your praise, holding your chin with his thumb and index finger, making you turn your face so you could look at him.

‘’yeah, baby? do you like my cock? it's so much better in person, hm? you're sucking him whole already.’’ he mumbled, pounding into your pussy with purpose. your eyes closed shut, an almost pornographic moan escaping your lips.

alex could scold you not to moan so loud because they were in public, but fuck, he liked it. he loved watching you practically cry while he fucked you dumb like he hated you. he loved praise you. and you loved being praised. not by anyone, but by him.

this was definitely the most intense, rough and nasty sex you had ever experienced. and you didn't know how much you loved it until you felt his cock filling your warm and wet cunt, you didn't know if the squeaking sound was because of the bike rocking to your rhythm or if it was your pussy that was so wet it was starting to squish.

you whimpered when his hand wrapped around your throat, the cold metal of his ring pressed right into your windpipe making you want to cough amidst your moans. his belt buckle hit your thigh, the tingling sound echoing through your ears as he thrusted hard into you, your greedy pussy was already creaming him to the brim, his abs tensed with the familiar feeling of an approaching climax.

you started to feel that pressure building right below your belly button, your knees threatening to fail, and his grip tightened on your waist, keeping you up. alex angled his hips, hitting your spot right on target, making you mewl, closing your eyes shut. he watched your face, knowing he had hit it. so he did it again. and again. and again.

‘’gonna cum for me again?’’ he asked with a satisfied smile on his lips, seeing you nodding immediately. ‘’yeah?’’' and he hitted that spot again, rolling his hips, the soft skin of your ass slapping against his pelvis, you could feel that region of him more assertively, feeling that the area had been trimmed. no pubic hair. at least not now on this first date.

‘’gonna cum for you, al, i'm gonna-’’ you stammered, almost letting a bit of saliva escape your mouth. you were so fucked up in a literal way, you could barely remember where you were and what day it was.

you clenched hard around his cock, almost making him stop. he let out a whimper. oh god, a whimper. you've heard him moan before, but they were rough, throaty moans. it was a whimper, a plea, a sign that he was getting sensitive and that he would cum at any moment, just waiting for you.

alex kissed your neck, doing his best not to leave visible marks on you, sinking inside you with lazy and sloppily thrusts, his fat tip hitting your cervix over and over again. your smell mixed with sweat felt like something heavenly, making him want to live in your skin, live inside you forever if it meant continuing to have this feeling.

your eyes rolled as you felt your orgasm hitting you like a bullet. your toes curled, your legs closed and your knees gave out as you whined, but he thrusted harder, forcing you to stand up again to finish, you squealed at how deliciously rough he was with you.

‘’wish i could fill you up with my cum, baby.’’ he groaned, his words already tying his own mind in knots, a chill ran through his body like electricity at the thought of filling you with his cum, marking you with it to the brim, and that was enough for him to cum, his hot cum shooting up your walls, being contained by the condom. you felt everything heat up even more inside you. ‘’mmm fucking hell…’’ he exhaled, his body stopping completely when he felt there was nothing left to come out, he had already emptied himself completely inside you. or rather, the condom.

you were shaking, still experiencing the aftershocks of your orgasm, feeling him loosen his grip on your throat, his fingers running through your hair, removing some from your sweaty face.

‘’are you okay?’’ he asked, searching your face. you licked your puffy pouty lips, a fucked out expression plastered on your face as a low chuckle escaped.

‘’yeah. i just need some time.’’ you admitted. he hummed in agreement.

‘’i'm gonna pull out, okay?’’ he announced softly, his hand on your waist lightly caressing you with his thumb as he disconnected from you, you hissed at the feeling. your sore pussy was already used to him as if it no longer made sense not to feel him filling you anymore. ‘’there you go, babe.’’ he cooed, massaging your lower back as you took a breath and found the strength to stand up.

he discarded the used condom, his sensitive and sticky cock was already inside his boxers. you turned around to see him, he was a fucking sight to behold. he smiled at you, a fucked out expression was also tattooed on his face along with his messy hair.

‘’what?’’ he asked, buckling his belt again.

‘’you're so hot.’’ you said almost in a whisper.

‘’uh oh. you're flattering me already.’’ he chuckled, almost shy at your compliment, circling his arms around you, caressing your exhausted body. alex kissed the top of your head, acting so delicate like he wasn’t fucking you like you’re a slut minutes ago. ‘’that was amazing, really. you are amazing.’’

you smiled, letting him spread sweet kisses over the top of your head. it wasn't like an aftercare in bed, with cuddles and a hot bath afterwards, but it was enough for you now. he was enough for you now.

‘’want some water?' i can buy some for us.’’ he asked you. you shook your head, even though your throat was dry now, you didn't want to bother him. he could sense it. ‘’you’re so stubborn.’’ he grumbled in a playful way, breaking the hug. ‘’be right back.’’

you laughed foolishly, watching him go back to the movie theater. you took the opportunity to put your panties back on, the lace panties were in your hand the whole time and you couldn't stay without your underwear all the time. alex came back with a bottle of cold water for you a few minutes later. you drank half of the bottle, leaving the other half for him. he let out a satisfied sigh when he finished, throwing the plastic bottle in the trash.

‘’can i take you home?’’

you thought about the offer. your parents couldn't even dream of seeing you arrive on a motorcycle owned by a 'stranger' but you also didn't want to turn down his ride.

‘’sure.’’ you smiled at him, accepting the ride. alex had an extra helmet that he kept under the seat of his motorcycle. not that he always took someone with him, it was more for occasional situations like this.

soon enough, you were on his bike, wrapping your arms around his waist. alex would sometimes accelerate exaggeratedly just to irritate you, your voice almost shrill amidst the frenzy of the streets telling him to slow down. he laughed and you laughed along, pinching his belly over the fabric of his shirt as you felt him speeding his bike through the streets. you loved the adrenaline, the wind cutting through your face partially covered by the helmet and the low sound of his laughter when you told him to slow down a little.

you had already hitched a ride on a motorcycle a few times, but now, somehow, it felt different. as if your body next to his warmed you up more than usual as you held on tight to him whenever he accelerated after the traffic light turned green.

and this heat got worse when you looked at him in the right rearview mirror, seeing that the helmet covered part of his face, leaving only his eyes focused on the traffic visible, his huge nose and a small part of his upper lip. you have to say that you had a certain kind of meltdown when he caught you looking at him by looking at your reflection in the mirror.

soon, he was parking his motorcycle next to your house, you asked him to drop you off a few houses earlier so as not to run any risks. deep down, you wished he would take longer to get there, but you didn't dare say it out loud as you handed the helmet back to him. there was still a hint of afterglow in the air as he put the helmet back in silence.

‘’so, did you like the movie?’’ he asked in a playful way. obviously he wasn't referring to the movie. you giggled.

‘’yeah. very much.’’ you smiled at him, feeling his arms back to your waist, pulling you closer to him.

‘’i loved it. i loved meeting you. you're so fucking prettier in person.’’ he said, taking in the sight of you under the amber streetlight.

he couldn't help but want to kiss you, making you have to tilt your face so your head wouldn't hit the visor of his helmet. you could taste yourself in his mouth, but you weren't the least bit worried about it, wanting to savor this moment before he left.

‘’i'll see you next week?’’ he asked after breaking the kiss, his face still close to yours.

‘’next week?’’ you asked, blinking a few times.

‘’yeah. there's going to be a get-together at the pub where i work next saturday.’’ he replied, making an informal invitation to you.

you needed to think a little. you didn't usually go to pubs, much less at night. you really needed to think before accepting. he smiled at you, pinching your cheek.

‘’don't worry, you'll have time to think. but the entrance is free.’’ he pecked your lips one last time. ‘’and i'll make sure to make the best margarita you've ever had in your life.’’

a/n: riiiiight. this is my first note here after post something, just a taglist for my babe 'cause she asked me to: @thenightslikeawhirlwind

(let me know if you want to be tagged too :3)

[wolverigrl]

Request for Hugh story.

The reader gets a little jealous when Hugh has to spend some time with his ex wife and kids, so to show his girlfriend just how much he loves her. Hugh makes her romantic dinner just for them.

Jelousy

Hugh Jackman x reader

!A/N! I hope you like this requested story! <3

Warnings: jealousy, cheesy, nothing more!

Enjoy!

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It had been a year and a half since Hugh and I had started dating. The first year had been incredible - dream-like, really. But things had changed. It started slowly, creeping in like an unwanted shadow. His work, the endless promotion for his new movie, had taken over our lives. We barely saw each other anymore. And when he wasn’t jetting across the globe for press junkets, he was here in New York - spending time with his ex-wife and their kids.

I knew it was important for him to be there for them, to maintain that family bond. And I understood that. I tried to understand it. But lately, it felt like I was always waiting. Waiting for him to come home. Waiting for some kind of sign that I still mattered.

And today? Today was the final straw.

I had seen the photos online—Hugh and Deborra-Lee with their kids, laughing, looking so perfect together. Like nothing had ever changed between them. It wasn’t rational, I knew that. He had been married to her for years, and they shared a lot of history. But no matter how hard I tried to suppress it, the jealousy kept bubbling up inside me, threatening to spill over.

So when Hugh finally walked through the door that evening, his face lit up with a tired but warm smile, I couldn’t hold back anymore.

"Had a good day?" I asked, my tone far too sharp for what was supposed to be a casual question.

He dropped his keys on the counter and looked at me, confused by the edge in my voice. "Yeah... spent the day with the kids. It was nice. What about you?"

"Great." I replied, unable to mask the bitterness. "Saw the pictures. You all looked... happy."

Hugh's brows furrowed. "What do you mean? Of course, we were happy. I was spending time with the kids- "

"And your ex-wife." I cut him off, my arms crossing defensively. "You’ve been spending a lot of time with her, haven’t you?"

He stared at me, his confusion deepening. "Y/n, she's the mother of my kids. We’re not together, you know that. You have nothing to worry about."

"I don’t?" I scoffed, shaking my head. "Because it feels like I’m the last thing on your mind these days. I’m starting to forget what it’s like to even have you around."

Hugh stepped toward me, his voice soft but firm. "That’s not fair, y/n. You know how crazy things have been with the movie, and I’m trying to be there for the kids. It’s complicated."

"Yeah, it is complicated!" I snapped, my frustration boiling over. I could feel the words tumbling out of me, unstoppable now. "I would never ask you to choose between me and them, Hugh, but I’m not asking for much. I just want to feel like I matter too."

He ran a hand through his hair, clearly exasperated but trying to stay calm. "You do matter. You know you do."

"Do I?" I shot back, my voice cracking despite my best efforts to stay composed. "Because lately, it feels like I’m just here. Waiting for you to remember I exist!"

Hugh’s expression softened, his frustration giving way to something more vulnerable. "Love, come on... it’s not like that."

But I couldn’t listen anymore. The flood of emotions was too much, and I needed space. "I need to get out of here." I muttered, grabbing my coat and heading for the door.

"Y/n, wait!" Hugh called after me, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. I just needed air, space - anything to clear my head. The door clicked shut behind me, and I found myself walking aimlessly through the streets of New York, my emotions swirling in my chest like a storm.

The crisp night air hit my face as I wandered through the city. My mind raced as I replayed the argument over and over. Why had I let it get this far? Why hadn’t I talked to him sooner, before it all exploded like this? I knew he wasn’t intentionally pushing me away, but lately, it felt like I was invisible.

After an hour of walking and stewing in my own thoughts, I realized I needed to head back. I couldn’t avoid this forever. We needed to talk - really talk. And maybe I needed to apologize for being... well, dramatic. I sighed, turning back toward the apartment, my steps slower, more thoughtful.

When I finally reached the door, I took a deep breath, expecting tension. But as I stepped inside, I was met with something completely unexpected.

The lights were dim, and there was soft music playing in the background. I slipped off my shoes and walked towards the kitchen. The smell of something delicious - my favorite dish - wafted through the air. Candles flickered gently on the dining table, which had been set for two. The entire room felt warm and inviting, a strong contrast to the storm that had been brewing between us earlier.

I stood frozen in the corridor, blinking in disbelief. Hugh emerged from the kitchen, his eyes soft and apologetic as he wiped his hands on a towel.

"Hey." he said gently, his voice carrying a tenderness that tugged at my heart. "I, uh... I made dinner. I figured we could use some time, just the two of us."

I stared at him, the earlier frustration slowly melting away. "Hugh... you didn’t have to do all this."

"Yes, I did." he said, stepping closer. His eyes searched mine, and the sincerity in them made my chest tighten. "I’ve been so caught up in everything - work, the kids - that I forgot to make time for us. And that’s not okay. You’re right."

I bit my lip, guilt washing over me. "I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I just... I was feeling- "

"I know." he interrupted softly, his hands reaching out to gently hold mine. "And I get it. I should’ve been more present with you. I never meant to make you feel like you didn’t matter because you do, more than anything."

I swallowed hard, my heart swelling as I looked up at him. The anger, the jealousy - it all felt so small now. He had always been the man who showed up, who cared, even when life got overwhelming. And right now, he was standing here, showing me exactly how much I meant to him.

"I’m sorry." I whispered, my voice trembling as I squeezed his hands.

Hugh shook his head, his thumbs brushing over my knuckles gently. "I’m sorry too. I love you, y/n. I never want you to feel like you’re anything less than my priority."

The weight of his words settled over me, soothing the ache I’d been carrying for days. I let out a shaky breath, feeling the tension between us dissolve. "I love you too." I said softly, my heart swelling with the truth of it.

He smiled, that familiar, warm smile that made me feel like everything was going to be okay. "So... how about we start over? No more fighting. Just... dinner."

I nodded, smiling despite myself. "Yeah. I’d like that."

We sat down at the table, and the moment was so simple, so intimate. Hugh had made my favorite dish - pasta with that special sauce he always made when we had date nights at home. The food was incredible, but what made it even better was the way we kept stealing glances at each other, the quiet joy in the air as we ate.

By the time we were done, my heart felt lighter. We moved to the couch, and I leaned into him as his arms wrapped around me, pulling me close. I could feel the warmth of his chest, his heartbeat steady and reassuring.

"I missed this." I whispered, resting my head against him.

Hugh pressed a kiss to the top of my head, his lips lingering there for a moment. "I missed you. I hate that I made you feel like I wasn’t here. I’ll do better, I promise."

I tilted my head up to look at him, my eyes meeting his. The tenderness in his gaze made my heart skip a beat. "You always show up when it matters, Hugh. I just... I need to know you’ll keep doing that."

"I will," he murmured, his voice low and earnest. "You’re not an afterthought, Y/N. You’re my home."

Those words wrapped around me, filling the cracks that had formed over the past few weeks. I reached up, cupping his face as I kissed him softly, pouring every bit of love and gratitude I felt into that kiss.

When we pulled away, I couldn’t help but smile. "You really went all out, huh? Cooking, candles... the whole deal."

Hugh grinned, his eyes twinkling. "Well, I figured you deserved a little romance after putting up with me."

I laughed softly, leaning in closer. "I think we both deserved it."

He tilted his head down, kissing the top of mine softly. "I don’t ever want you to doubt how much I love you. I know I’ve been distracted, but I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere."

My heart swelled at his words, the sincerity in his voice wrapping around me like a promise. I looked up at him, meeting his gaze. "I know." I whispered, reaching up to cup his cheek. "And I love you. I just... needed to hear it."

He smiled, a lazy, boyish grin that made my stomach flutter. "Then I’ll make sure you hear it more often."

He leaned down, brushing his lips against mine, slow and sweet, like he had all the time in the world just to kiss me. It wasn’t rushed or desperate. It was full of everything - love, reassurance, and that deep, quiet connection we shared. When we finally pulled away, our foreheads rested against each other, and I could feel his breath against my lips.

We stayed wrapped up together on the couch, the warmth of his body melting away any lingering tension. His arm was draped protectively around my shoulders, pulling me close, while I rested my head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It was comforting, grounding. Every time I shifted, he pulled me in just a little tighter, like he couldn’t stand the thought of even an inch between us.

"You know." he murmured, his fingers lazily tracing circles on my arm, "I’ve missed this. Just being here with you. No noise, no schedules. Just... us."

I smiled into his chest, feeling the softness of his words settle over me like a warm blanket. "I’ve missed it too. More than I realized."

We sat there for a while longer, the quiet of the apartment settling around us. Hugh shifted slightly, pulling a blanket over us and tucking it in around my shoulders. He kissed my forehead again, lingering as though he couldn’t help himself.

"And you know." he whispered softly, his voice like velvet against the night air, "you’re my favorite part of everything. Of coming home, of my whole day. You’re it."

My heart melted. I snuggled deeper into his embrace, closing my eyes as I felt the warmth of his love surround me. "You’re my favorite too." I whispered back, feeling safe, cherished, and so completely loved.

We stayed that way, wrapped up in each other, letting the world fade away. No more jealousy, no more distance. Just us, together. And in that moment, everything felt perfect - like this was exactly where we were supposed to be.

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I'd appreciate feedback! <3

xoxo

[hyunjinsjeans]

Baby Brain (Seungmin x Reader)

Masterlist

Summary: Seungmin has to suffer with his pabo members… and now also his pabo wife.

Type: Fluff 🧸, SFW 

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy, proofreading to a minimum (it’s my thing, I’m sorry)

Word count: 2569

AN: This fic is a part 2 to Seungmin’s version of the He Knows Series. It can also be read as a stand alone. I took my precious time with this one because I guess my period played games with me and the first versions were angsty af… And that was not the vibe I wanted for my man Kim Seungmin. I think I finally got it, and also huge spoiler for Hyunjin’s part 2 (which is posted too!)

Seungmin sighed as he let Choon-Hee paint his toenails pink and yellow. 

He was really working on his patience lately. You sat across from him on the carpet in the living room while Nari “did” your hair. 

The Hwang twins, or “dumpling girls” (as the boys called them), were happy to spend the afternoon with you and your husband. A little break for their parents to be able to go on a date alone, and a good practice for what was about to come for you.

“Ready!” 

Nari walked around you with a bright smile on her face as she saw the long braid she managed to make with your silky hair. 

“Already? Wow!” You smiled and reached for the hand mirror to see her work. “You did so good, Nari! Look, Minnie!”

He looked up at you, for a second his sight leaving Choon-Hee to find you. Initially, he did not like the idea of babysitting a set of three year old twins, but these two girls were pretty easy to manage and to please. 

“Woah!” He pretended to be stunned. 

In a way he was… Your hair, although maintaining its pregnancy glow and thickness, looked a lot like a bird’s nest. A true 3-year-old masterpiece. 

You giggled, you knew it was a horrible mess with tangles and odd twists… but you enjoyed indulging the little ones. 

Seungmin was able to see it; your motherly instincts were beginning to take over slowly. As the months began passing and your pregnancy became more evident, so did the signs of your body and mind getting ready become more evident as well. 

From the baby bump that grew in a slow but steady manner, to the way you began fixing and arranging things at home, making sure the nursery was ready, preparing spaces for the baby and worrying more and more about Seungmin too. 

Your husband only agreed to babysit for Hyunjin because you had already agreed to babysit for Hyunjin!Reader.

The afternoon went by in a blur as you sat with the girls to play and watch cartoons, Seungmin had to be the most responsible adult at home, seeing as your baby bump had begun to keep you from being too active. 

He prepared snacks and handed each of the girls (you included) a small bowl with crackers and baby carrots. 

“Thank you!” You and the twins said in unison, much to Seungmin’s amusement. 

At that point your husband realized he was now watching three girls. Poor Seungmin spent the rest of the afternoon watching you too. Keeping you safe while you decide to do little little somersaults with the girls on the living room carpet. 

The truth was that you had a lot of time on your hands lately. Since you found out for sure that you were pregnant thanks to the lab test, you have been a cause of concern for your husband… With all the pregnancy symptoms and the planning for the nursery, you decided to give in to Seungmin’s request of taking things slow. You reduced your hours at the hospital; working only part time. It was supposed to be like that until you went on leave but as things rarely ever go as planned you ended up developing some complications during the second trimester. Doctor’s best advice? Rest. And so you rested; you talked to your boss and you took time off from work. Now you are at home full time, spending most of your time reading medical journals or parenting books. Shopping online for what might be necessary for your little boy once he was born. 

Most of all, what you did during your free time was visit Seungmin and the boys during their dance practice and rehearsals. They would be dancing and you would sit with Han!Reader and both would marvel at everything and anything her small Haerin would do. Sometimes Hyunjin!Reader would be there too, her girls already went to kindergarten so she would have the morning’s to herself either to work or run errands. 

For your husband’s delight, anytime you and Hyunjin!Reader got together, it meant he would have to keep an eye on you. Even without her, the second you began joking with Lee Know and Hyunjin it was bad news for him.

You did not know it, or maybe you had heard it at some point… but you were considered by the boys as an honorary member of paboracha. You would dance with the boys, attempting to follow their dance moves but most of the time you would get tangled up and trip. Now you were pregnant and almost at the end of your second trimester, your brain was just not in it with you. 

Seungmin found you looking for your glasses while you were already wearing them, or looking for your phone while you were on a phonecall. He would see you trying so hard to understand the instructions on a youtube video while trying to knit something for your baby… and he would find a tangle of yarn on the sofa most nights, a clear sign that you gave up that day. He loved to see you cook, but nowadays it is also a struggle that gives him a heart attack every time. You do not seem to think much about what you are doing lately, and it shows in how you burned the toaster when you wanted to turn it on one day, for some reason you put it on the stove and turned on the stove instead… So for the last few weeks the stove and the dangerous appliances are off limits for you. 

Seungmin enjoys the quiet tranquility that putting the girls to sleep brings to your home. Finally, after several hours of chasing the toddlers around and keeping his eye on you, the girls got tired and accepted a glass of warm chocolate milk. You held Choon-Hee and he held Nari, each one held onto their favorite blanket and finished the milk from their sippy cups before falling asleep. 

“It’s like they’re drunk on milk,” Seungmin whispered, not wanting to disturb the sensitive girls. 

“Mhm…” You smiled, holding Choon-Hee close to your chest, effectively creating a perfect warmth cocoon for the little girl. 

If there was any difference Seungmin could notice from you in the last few months, besides the obvious physical changes that came with the whole “creating new life” aspect of things; it was that you were more tender. You kissed him goodnight and you touched his cheek in such a way that he could not help but feel his heart swell up with tenderness. You were also more drawn to children in a way you were not before. To Seungmin you were a sweet person, someone kind with no fear of showing their emotions. Now it seemed you were ten times that sensitive, he had to be more careful about his choice of words and the way he behaved - a single eye roll from him during your second trimester brought you to tears one afternoon and if he had to be honest, he was deeply ashamed of it.

He watched you holding Choon-Hee and he fixed his hold on Nari. He was guilty of not having the same change as you, he could not yet feel that tenderness for a little human made of half you and half himself. He was unable to wrap his head around the concept of loving the growing human in your womb. He was assured by his older members that what he saw you already feeling for your baby would come to him naturally as well. That it would happen when the time was right.

“Let me get these two to sleep…” 

He got up from the couch and fixed Nari in his arms, the girl already used to Uncle Seeungmin’s firm grasp, turned and held onto his neck while resting her cheek on his shoulder. Nari was the sweetest of the two, the quiet one. She enjoyed attention a lot less than her sister, but she was also the one who needed the most assurance. Seungmin brought her to their room, placing her on their bed with a blanket turned into a roll at the edge of it, helping her stay safely on the mattress without rolling off of it. 

When he came back to get Choon-Hee, he found you also sleeping. Your hold on the girl was weak and gentle- The youngest of the twins was the most trouble maker; but sleepy as she was, Seungmin managed to pull her from your arms and take her to sleep next to her sister. 

You felt Seungmin pull your legs up as he helped you find a comfortable position on the couch, getting you to rest with a soft blanket over your. He got to read for a little bit while you slept and the night set in. Hyunjin and his wife showed up almost thirty minutes later to get their twins. They looked happy and disheveled, but neither you nor Seungmin commented on it. You barely noticed, and Seungmin was making a mental note to tease his group member during rehearsals the following week… 

“They must have tired themselves out…” You told Hyunjin!Reader while Hyunjin and Seungmin carefully put the twins in their double stroller. 

“Oh, they didn’t give you trouble, did they?” Hyunjin!Reader offered you an apologetic smile, “We just needed some time for ourselves… and when you offered… I didn’t even think of warning you!” 

You laughed softly, aware that you needed to keep your voice down. 

“Don’t worry!” You squeezed your friend’s arm, “they were perfect… they’re such good girls! Right, Minnie? We had so much fun!”

Seungmin looked up at Hyunjin as he helped him cover the stroller with a blanket, Hyunjin looked amused as he saw the look on his friend’s face. 

“Did you?” Hyunjin asked him quietly, his doubt evident.

While Seungmin was not bad with children at all, he rarely ever offered to babysit for his friends. Most of the time it was you who offered. 

“As the only responsible adult in the house? Yeah, I guess it wasn’t that bad…” Seungmin sighed.

Hyunjin smiled up at you, assuming you had not heard him. “Did you really have fun?”

You nodded, smiling widely. “Yes! And it was great practice for us, Seungmin just needs to brush up on his playtime, but I would say he is ready!” You winked at your husband, obviously trying to tease him.

Seungmin grinned, mentally forcing himself to not roll his eyes, “yeah, maybe…but I’ve got nap time down!”

You blushed and looked back at Hyunjin!Reader, “I fell asleep too… I think I got carried away playing with them earlier” 

“Please come visit and get carried away playing anytime…” Hyunjin commented, “they don’t ever seem to run out of energy at home, even if one does, there is still the other…” 

Hyunjin!Reader nodded. “We’re signing up for dance lessons, they need to get that energy out somehow…”

You smiled “Oh, they’re gonna be so cute! What are you thinking, baby ballet?” 

Both parents nodded, “it’s that or taekwondo… but I don’t want them fighting so they’ll get tutus.” 

Seungmin chuckled, “yeah… that’s gonna keep them from fighting…” 

Hyunjin gave him a look before speaking: “Anyway, thanks for babysitting, we really needed the time off.” 

You nodded too and smiled at your friend, “oh, don’t mention it! We are happy to help, you’re basically family…” 

Seungmin agreed with that and said goodbye to Hyunjin before going to the door with them. 

You were alone at last, after spending most of the day running around preparing for the twins and then watching them and keeping them entertained the only thing you wanted to do was to get changed and go to bed. 

“Minnie, did you really not have fun?” You asked him as you grabbed his arm and leaned onto his side.

He sighed, “I did… it’s just… you’re so hard to keep up with. You need to take care of yourself, you know? I can’t be the only one taking care of you and the baby…”

“Oh…” You pursed your lips, letting out a small laugh, “I just… feel so restless, you know?” 

Seungmin nodded as you walked through the house and into your bedroom. 

“What do you mean?”

You sighed and explained, “well, I… I think I have a baaad case of this thing… uhm ‘baby brain’.” 

Seungmin looked a little defeated. You always managed to be the last person to get the memo it seemed. He felt somewhat amused and incredulous but he allowed you to elaborate. 

“I feel like I forget things and I do things that don’t really make sense, Minnie…” You frowned, “And I just can’t figure out how to make a stupid blanket!” 

He chuckled at your comment about the knitting project, he was already aware you were struggling with that but he knew better than to say anything, not wanting to hurt your extra-sensitive feelings. 

“It’s okay, Y/N…” He reassured you, rubbing small circles on your back. “Your body is working really hard to make a baby. I guess it’s normal that your mind is busy…”

You looked up at him and smiled, “you’re so good to me…” You wrapped your arms around his waist and he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, a small smile appearing on his face. “I know you must be so frustrated with me… and you still cope so well.” 

Your husband kissed the top of your head, “I wouldn’t do it for anyone else, Y/N. Only my wife gets my patience.”

“Only me? How about Eun-Jae?” You looked up at him, testing out the name you picked for your baby a few days ago. 

Seungmin smiled and looked down at you nodding. Watching the way you stare at him so lovingly he could not help but feel like there is a weight to the name you chose. He put his hand on your belly, rubbing it slowly. He felt some movement under his hand and his eyes widened in surprise, turning to you quickly. 

“Hm, he’s moving a lot today. Did you feel that?” 

You stared at him with curiosity, Seungmin had yet to experience the feeling of your baby moving in your belly. 

He nodded, dumbfounded. “He… moved?” 

With a gleeful smile you nodded and pulled his hand over your stomach so he could feel it again, where your baby seemed to be kicking. 

“I like to think he’s happy when he kicks like this, he is so strong already…” 

“Eun-Jae?” Seungmin asked quietly. 

It was true what his members said. That love for his son would come one day and hit him suddenly. And it happened right then, after a busy day while preparing to go to sleep. He watched your stomach with renewed wonder and love, and you touched his cheek softly before kissing it. 

“Oh, our baby boy is so lucky to have such a loving, patient dad…” 

You went to push your glasses up on the bridge of your nose and almost stuck a finger into your eye. Seungmin sighed and chuckled as he turned his attention back to your face, he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Pabo, you’re not wearing your glasses today… you put on your contacts this morning…” 

“Right…” 

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