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visionsofyouandme · 24 days ago

Text

it's golden (like daylight)

𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜: Winter is coming, bringing loneliness and shorter days. But Joel still finds he values the daylight (and you) through it all.

𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 13.6k

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: Afab!reader w she/her pronouns (but no physical descriptions), fluff, slow burn, pining!Joel, Jackson!Joel, post-outbreak, soft!joel, swearing, some physical violence (not against reader), age gap or no age gap- you decide!, POV switching, alcohol consumption, SMUT (18+ MDNI), oral (f receiving), praise kink, Joel talks you through it, p in v sex, apocalypse BC method (pulling out), aftercare. Happy ending! (Moodboard for vibes and vibes only)

𝙰/𝙽: Well, here it is! The full-on, real deal. If you think this is familiar, it's because I originally posted parts 1 & 2 on my other blog, @queeneamidala but this is my new, improved, and SOLELY writing blog. I'm so excited to share the full thing with you guys. This is my first full length, finished fic in so so long. I would love any and all feedback- comments, likes, reblogs, you name it! Anyway, can't wait to share this lil journey with ya'll. Hope you enjoy <3

Read here on AO3 !

Joel was eating idly in the cafeteria when he heard Ellie’s voice. He glanced back, and noticed her talking to a woman he had seen around the town of Jackson. She was a friend of Tommy and Maria’s, he knew that much. Hell, a friend to everyone in town but him, it seemed. Granted, he hadn’t spoken a word to her, or opened the door to conversation in the first place. Some would say it was out of shyness or fear, but really, he just felt unworthy of her attention.

She was beautiful, but that was just a general observation.

You were beautiful, and he had come to this conclusion several times while passing you by in town. He had noticed you speaking to nearly every person in town. You had a very easy-going air about you, friendly. Open.

So, he steered clear. Forming personal connections outside of immediate family was not something he was keen on. He has had a life fraught with grief, seen and done unspeakable things. He wasn’t meant to be loved, not after everything he’s done.

But the way you talked to Tommy, and now Ellie more and more often had Joel at an uncomfortably close proximity to you. Your presence was drawing near, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it.

He sort of didn’t want to stop it.

But, just when he thought you were going to approach the table to sit, you broke away from Ellie and walked to a different table. He felt something drop in his chest. Was that really, really disappointment that he felt?

“Makin’ friends?” Joel questioned as Ellie sat down, and she snorted.

“Why? Jealous?” She said with a smirk, and Joel cocked up an eyebrow.

“You could use a friend.” Ellie added, and Joel shifted a bit uncomfortably.

“I don’t need anyone.” He said into his food, and Ellie made a face, rolling her eyes.

“Everybody needs at least someone.”

Joel’s eyes shifted to you sitting at the table just across from them. Your smile was radiant, and he felt something twist in his chest.

He wasn’t meant to be loved.

~*~*~

Winter was coming, and the people in town were preparing. You were busy but still managed to make time for people. For everyone, really. Joel was almost envious about how easy you talked to people. He didn’t have the same talent, but he was fine with that.

So, one day, when he was called upon a house to help with some faulty wiring, he was taken aback when it was your house he was called to.

You didn’t need help. Not really. You were fairly self sufficient, and made your own way through town. Joel knew this, and it made him nervous when you called upon him specifically to make sure you were prepared for the wintertime.

But, he took his toolkit and went to your place. The door was open, but…

You weren’t home.

He felt disappointment in his chest again. He shook it off though and walked to the side of the house outside. He opened the box and began to work diligently, his mind wandering to other things. But he tried to fight off the thoughts of you and how disappointed he felt when he found out you weren’t home. However, they just kept coming around again, and again, and again.

“You look so serious.” A voice said, and Joel jerked back like he had been electrocuted. His head swiveled to the side and he saw you standing there, leaning against the side of the house with your arms crossed. You looked so effortless and cool, and-

How long had you been standing there?

“Job’s gotta get done.” Joel said, gesturing to the box, “as you requested.”

You nodded, and a smile creeped into your face that he hadn’t seen before. He had seen you smile plenty of times- laughing and talking with the people in town, with Maria, with Ellie. But this felt different. Or was he just imagining it?

“Yeah, you came highly recommended.” You said, and Joel scoffed, turning back to the box and tried to get back to work. But, he was horrible at multitasking, especially when it came down to you distracting him by your presence alone.

“Don’t sell yourself short. Ellie was insistent that you were the best the town had.” You said, and Joel lost his concentration and nearly dropped the screwdriver he held.

Christ, I’m gonna kill that girl.

He furrowed his brow like nothing happened and kept working. He was definitely going to talk to Ellie later. The last thing he needed was the whole town to be depending on him for maintenance.

But for you…? Well, it wasn’t so bad.

“Sorry I wasn’t there to receive you. Work held me up.” You said, gesturing behind you. Joel finally flicked a switch and the box buzzed to life. He felt himself deflate a bit. Guess it was time for him to go.

“No worries.” He said, putting his tools back in the toolbox and stood straight. He held the box in hand, and regarded you with soft brown eyes. You pushed off the corner of the house, and smiled that bright smile of yours.

“You… let me know if there’s- if there’s anythin’ else.” Joel said, trying to keep it drawn out but it sounded rushed to his ears. He nodded minutely and you stepped out of the way.

“Thank you. It means more to me than you know.” You said, and shifted, your shoulders brushing by accident. Joel simply nodded, and made his way home.

He rubbed his arm after a few minutes of walking, trying to savor the warmth blooming under his skin.

~*~*~

Tommy and Joel were sitting at The Tipsy Bison, talking over a few drinks.

You had requested Joel’s help two more times now. Both small and trivial, but Joel was more than happy to help. You weren’t there the second time he came, but when he was there the third time, you offered him coffee. He was an idiot, and turned you down. But, that smile never wavered.

“Next time.” You said.

Next time, Joel thought. There was going to be a next time? He hoped so.

“I see you’re helping some people out. Good for you to get some socializing in.” Tommy noted after taking a sip of his drink. Joel shrugged,

“It’s fine, I guess. Just doin’ my part.” He said. Tommy nodded, and regarded his brother with a peculiar expression. Joel felt like he was plotting something, but didn’t have time to really think about it before a voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“Well, you two look like you’re having fun. Mind if we cut in?” Maria questioned, and Joel barely looked up, until it registered in his mind.

We?

You settled into the seat beside Joel while Maria took the one by Tommy, boxing the boys in. Joel instinctively stiffened, and hoped you didn’t notice. If you did, you didn’t show it.

“What are we drinking tonight, boys?” You questioned, and Joel glanced at you. He cleared his throat, looking down, and held up his glass slightly.

“Whatever they’re trying to pass off as whsikey.” He said, and you looked at him. He felt like a deer in the headlights, watching you look at him. It felt like time was suspended, and he gulped. But, you smiled like it was nothing and turned to the bartender.

“I’ll have what he’s having.” You said, jutting your thumb at Joel. The bartender slid the glass into your hand with ease. Joel thought everything you did was effortless. You certainly made it seem so.

It dawned on him that Tommy and Maria were knee-deep in their own conversation, promptly blocking off you two. It felt intentional, causing Joel to be put on the spot, under your eye.

“Thanks for all your help by the way.” You said, taking a sip of the amber liquid. Joel nodded, his brown eyes casting down to his glass.

“Anytime.” He said with a dismissive wave of his hand. It wasn’t lost on you that Joel was slowly becoming a bigger part of the community. He wasn’t just keeping to himself, but helping others with house repairs or such. You hadn't seen him offer such services until you had reached out to him.

But, he didn’t do it for them. He knew that deep down inside.

He did it for you.

“I gotta say, Mr. Miller, you’re an enigma.” You said with a light laugh. Joel’s eyebrows furrowed, and felt his stomach lurched at you saying his name, even if it was his last name. “You know; a mystery, something hard to explain.”

“I ain’t no mystery.” He said, shaking his head. You grinned, and tilted your head to the side. Joel felt his mouth go dry, so he took a sip of his drink to quell it.

“Okay, okay.” You said, shrugging and turned your gaze across the bar. He felt your elbows becoming achingly close. If he just shifted just slightly, he could feel you against him.

“Mind if I stop by tomorrow?” You said so abruptly that it threw his thoughts off.

“Sorry?”

“I got Ellie a new book. Something about space and aliens and shit. Something I think she’d like.” You said. Joel felt a twinge of appreciation there. So, somebody was looking after Ellie besides him. He liked that. It warmed his hardened heart.

“Sure. You can drop it off.” He said, and he stole a glance your way. You were grinning, but trying to hide it. You took a sip of your beer to try to mask it, but he could see the way the corners of your lips quirked up.

“I’ll be there then.”

~*~*~

Joel had waited for you for a day or two. He found reasons to stay home, claiming he wasn’t feeling well, that he was sick. So, when you finally knocked on his door towards the end of the second day, he was surprised to find you holding a dish in your hand as well as the book.

“Heard you weren’t feeling well. Made you a little something.” You said so casually. But, Joel was floored. You heard about him, and went out of your way to do something for him?

He felt bad for faking his illness. But, the fact you did this? It flooded his chest with gratitude, and an ache that he hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

“Thank you.” He said, and went to take it but then paused. You laughed,

“I don’t care about getting sick. Here.” You said, and handed him the dish, barely crossing over the threshold. He took it gingerly, and looked down at it. Whatever it was, it looked damn good.

“Do you… would ya want to come in?” He offered. You suddenly beamed, and god, if that wasn’t a sight to see. Joel thought there wouldn’t be anything better in the world.

“Sure.” You responded, and Joel moved to let you inside. As you passed, he could smell your soap, or personal scent- whatever it was, he felt lightheaded in the best way. He closed the door and walked to the kitchen, you following him along.

“I also have the book. Hope Ellie’s not too mad it took me so long.” You laughed and set the book on the kitchen table. Joel walked to the other side, setting down the dish.

“‘M sure she won’t mind.” He said, and his eyes shifted to you. You and all your beauty, your kindness, the way your eyes smiled even while you were sharing a passive look.

“Do you want some coffee?” He questioned, and there he went, sounding rushed again. He just wanted you to stay, to share you sunlight with him just a bit longer. You had a knowing smile, and nodded gently.

“Yeah. I’d like that.” When you agreed to it, he got busy. He nearly knocked off the mugs off the counter trying to prepare everything. You sat at the table, and glanced down at the book. Joel looked back to see your attention on something else other than him, and felt a little more at ease.

“I got a patrol coming up.” You said, and Joel poured the dark liquid into one of the faded mugs. He turned and carried it to you at the table, sitting across from you.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. They switched up my partner, though. Hannah isn’t feeling well, so they put me with someone else.” You said, and he could see for the first time something else in your expression- anxiety. Fear.

He didn’t like it, to see you facing such emotions. He wished he could wrap them all up and throw them away. Whatever it took to see your smile again.

“Who’ya going with?”

“Jim Harris.” You replied with a nod, and Joel sat up a bit straighter. He didn’t like Jim, he always came off as loud and imposing. He didn’t have the best reputation when it came to women, either. He was rude and disrespectful, and there had been some complaints about harassment made against him.

“I see.” He said. Why did anyone assign you with Jim Harris, of all people? They knew of his ways and his complaints. The last thing they needed was to put him with you, all while alone.

No, he wouldn’t stand for that.

“I’ll get ‘em to switch things around. I’ll go with you.” He said, and nodded with finality. You looked at him, a bit surprised if not shocked.

“Oh. You really don’t have to-“ But he waved you off.

“I can get some strings pulled so you won’t have to deal with him. Besides, I just… I can’t stand someone like him being near y-” but he paused, and tried to recover before he could say something stupid. “ It ain’t right.” He settled, his fingers gripping the coffee mug a bit tighter at the thought of Jim laying even a finger on you. You looked at Joel, the shock really settling in now. Joel was unaware of the gravity of his words in the moment, something he would regret later. Not that he said them, but that he hadn’t said more.

“… Thank you.” You said quietly. Joel looked at you, and felt his chest bloom with warmth. Your words, though short and few, were filled with gratitude and relief that didn’t go unnoticed by Joel.

“Anything you need, darlin’.” He said, the name rolling off his lips before he could stop himself. You smiled, and Joel would have given you the moon right then and there if you asked.

He cleared his throat as if it would clear the air, and he visibly relaxed. Knowing you would be under his care and away from Jim Harris’ whole being made him feel better. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt a strong need to be by your side when the time for patrol comes. It just felt right that he would be there to protect you.

“A true southern gentleman.” You mused as you took a sip of your coffee. Joel’s face flushed, and he averted his gaze, and began to speak but you cut him off.

“I like it.”

Joel felt the ghost of a smile on his lips, and he glanced at you, shrugging.

“Old habits die hard, I guess.” He said, and rubbed the back of his neck. He could feel his hair curling under his fingertips as he did so. He needed a haircut, and sorely.

But, the town was lacking a barber, so he figured he would do it himself one of these days.

“A good habit to have.” You said, and he chuckled.

“Whatever you say, da-“ but he quickly cut himself off and hurriedly spoke your name instead. You smiled, regardless of what he called you. He found he liked saying your name. It felt personal, more grounded to reality. He was having a hard time grappling with reality ever since you crossed the threshold of his home. He couldn’t believe you were here, in his kitchen, drinking his coffee. He wanted this moment to last as long as time would allow- he would commit it to memory. Every word, every glance, every piece.

He found he did that often with you- just taking in any bit of you you had to offer, when he was feeling brave enough.

“I gotta get back.” You said, and stood up, rubbing your hands together to conserve the warmth of the coffee mug. Joel stood up, and nodded hurriedly, though he already felt the air grow cold in the absence of your presence.

“Of course. I’ll… I’ll walk you out.” He said, and stood up as well. He walked with you to the door at a snail’s pace, and you talked about your work for the rest of the day. The walk was all too short, and Joel’s hand rested on the doorknob. He looked at you, his brown eyes taking you in before he released you back to the world.

“Take it easy. I’ll see you on patrol. Okay?” He said, and you gave him that gut wrenching smile. Could have brought him to his knees if you so desired.

“Sounds good, Joel.” You said, and he opened the door, the chill coming in as you wrapped your jacket tighter around yourself. You smiled and gave him the lightest wave, and headed out into the cold Wyoming winter.

He watched you go, and his name still hung in the air. Despite the door being open, the cold sweeping in, he felt warm.

Oh, he was such a goner.

~*~*~

Joel trudged to the outer part of town, gun slung over his shoulder. He promised he would meet you at the edge, where they traded out patrols. He had been busy with other things that day, and felt horrible that he couldn’t walk with you. But, he knew that a few hours alone with you would make up for that.

At least, that’s what he hoped.

He came up and saw Tommy standing with a few others, talking indistinctly. When Joel approached, Tommy and the others turned. As they did, the group opened up and he could see you standing on the far side. Your face quite literally beamed up when you saw him.

“Ready for another shift?” Tommy chuckled as Joel came up closer. “You’ll have to show the new girl all the ropes.”

You rolled your eyes, but your smile was still evident on your face. Joel nodded, and he couldn’t help it as his lips quirked up on the ends when he met your eyes. This wasn’t lost on you, or Tommy for that matter. No one had seen Joel so much as literally turn his frown upside down, not even in the slightest. So, this was an interesting event for all involved.

“Well, no time like the present.” Joel said, and nodded forward. You bid goodbye to the others and walked with Joel across the town lines into the woods. He could sense your unease, and he glanced down to see a pistol on your hip.

“You know how to use that?” He questioned. You looked over at Joel and followed his gaze to the gun at your side, and then looked forward quickly.

“Unfortunately, yes.” You said. Joel frowned, but said nothing.

As you two reached the outpost where you’d be staying, Joel let you climb up the ladder first. He followed shortly after, his head swiveling around for any signs of life that weren’t supposed to be there. When he was safely inside, he closed the makeshift door and sat down next to you.

It was cold inside. Almost bitterly so. Joel was fine, having his heavy jacket and several layers. He had done this before, so he came prepared, especially in the colder months.

You, on the other hand, were miserable. Not expecting it to be *this* cold, you were wholly unprepared for the coldness that seeped into the wooden outpost about 12 feet off the ground. You sat on the chair and crossed your legs to conserve warmth, shoving your hands between your thighs to keep them from freezing.

Yeah, this was gonna be a long shift.

Joel, ever vigilant, noticed that you were shifting uneasily. But, his thoughts ran elsewhere besides the cold. Were you afraid of him? Was this awkward? Did he make a mistake taking over Jim’s shift with you? Was this overstepping some invisible boundary?

But then, you spoke,

“Can’t believe it’s this fucking cold.”

Your voice trembled a bit, and he watched you closely. His eyes softened a bit, and he took in your form. Yeah, you weren’t nearly as bulked up with layers as him. He set his gun down on the floor, leaning it against the window sill. You looked over at him, and it dawned on you very quickly about what he was about to do.

“Joel, don’t-“

“Can’t have you freezin’ on me, sweetheart. Won’t do much good if you’re an icicle.” He said, and shed his large jacket. Before he knew what he was doing, he stood and draped it over your shoulders. You sat still as he did so, and the warmth flooded you almost immediately. He sat back down, and your face was flushed with red. You cleared your throat, looking down at your hands.

“Thanks.” You said quietly. Joel nodded, like it was something he’d done a million times. He shifted his gaze back to the landscape that sprawled out in front of you.

You sat in a comfortable silence, and you eventually threaded your arms through Joel’s jacket. It smelled of cedar and musk, and you had always wondered what he smelled like. It felt as though he were enveloping you in a warm hug. You wondered if he ever did that sort of thing.

“When did you come here?” Joel questioned after a few minutes. You were surprised at his initiation of the conversation, but certainly not mad about it.

“About 8 months ago. Came from a QZ in Georgia after it fell apart.” You replied. Joel looked over at you, and you continued to look out of the outpost.

“Escaped with a group of good people. We tried to find someplace else, someplace safe. It was one of the hardest things I had to do. Lead them to safety, after my husband died.” You explained, and Joel’s chest twisted. He had never noticed a ring on your finger, but he could see a faded outline of where one used to be.

“But, keeping everyone together was hard. Death followed us everywhere- Clickers, disease, bad food, water. The world seemed to pick us off one by one.” Joel shifted his gaze to outside. He could tell you hadn’t spoken about this often, and he could sense a tremor in your voice.

“Eventually it was just me, wandering the woods. I felt hopeless, without purpose. I began to go kind of… well, insane. I don’t know how long I was out there til Tommy found me. Took me straight to the infirmary where they had to basically take care of me until I was able to be on my own two feet.” You said, and looked down, your hands clasped tightly together so much your knuckles turned white. Joel was stoic, unmoving, but his presence felt comforting. You didn’t know why you felt so comfortable with him, so you didn’t stop from going on.

“I’ve done some… terrible things. I’ve- seen so much… death. Coming here, it was a saving grace. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself much longer had they not found me.” You said. Joel’s heart dropped at this revelation, his eyes were soft with empathy. He knew all about hopelessness, about wanting to give up. About not having anything or anyone to live for. His finger traced the scar on his temple lightly before quickly dropping his hand in his lap.

Had Ellie not come into his life, he would have taken the easy route out, and not missed that time. But, he just hated that you felt like you had to do the same. That wasn’t fair. You didn’t deserve to feel like that, not with how caring and kind you were. Not with how you literally made people’s days light up at the sound of your laugh or your smile.

It just wasn’t fair, this world you both lived in.

“I feel like I try to do good things to make up for all the bad I’ve done.” You added, though your voice was so small and quiet. Joel knew that feeling all too well.

“I’m sorry.” Joel could only say, and you looked at him to already see his eyes on you. You smile, but this one was sad, weak. You shrugged, and sighed deeply,

“It’s life, isn’t it? It’s never easy. But, the small things make it better. Good people, especially.” Joel noticed how your smile deepened a bit, and he could see that glint in your eyes. He nodded, and couldn’t imagine you would rope him into the “good people” category. But, he also saw your face, and how you looked at him, that maybe you did.

And it made him feel… nice.

“Yeah, the good ones. Few and far between. But, they exist.” He said, his eyes looking between your own.

“I think there’s good people here.” You said, nodding forward. “You’re good people.”

And Joel, without knowing it, smiled. It wasn’t grand, it wasn’t teeth-showing, but it was a smile. One that betrayed him immensely, but he couldn’t stop it now. Even though he disagreed, he couldn’t voice it. Not to you. He couldn’t go against anything you said, it would feel like a personal crime.

“So are you. I hope you know that.” He said, and reached out to take your icy hand within his own. You looked at him, studying his face as you gripped his hand back.

And to Joel, the world just got a little bit brighter.

~*~*~

“Where are you going?” Joel said as he sat on the couch in the living room, feet propped up on the coffee table. Ellie stalked past him to the door, and looked over her shoulder, her lips pressed into a thin line.

“Out.” She said, and stormed through the door. Joel sighed. Teenagers.

He sat, listening to the crackly turntable in the corner. It played an old jazz record he borrowed from the library. Not his true cup of tea, but it was better than nothing. He needed to trade some other old ones in for new ones, but he had listened to the whole library by now.

He felt at ease for once. He played the time spent with you on patrol over and over. After your conversation, you spoke of happier, better things. Old baseball legends, old music, basically a throwback of pop culture before the world went to shit. You told him a funny story about your job that actually drew a true chuckle from him. He just felt… better around you. Your easy going demeanor and openness was enough to make him want to share with you. Share smiles, laughter, time together.

And god, he loved all three when it came to you.

The record clicked to signal its ending, and he stood up, walking over to turn it over. Just as he put the needle down, there was a knock at the door.

He walked to the door and opened it, seeing you standing there before him, looking chilled to the bone. He gestured for you to come inside quickly, and you shuffled in, huffing into your hands.

“What the hell ya doin’ out there in the cold for?” He said sternly, more concerned than upset, eyebrows furrowing. You shrugged, crossing your arms.

“Wanted to see you.” You said, and his jaw clamped shut.

Well. Okay.

He stood, like an idiot, in silence for a moment, before nodding minutely.

“Make yourself at home. I’ll make coffee.” He said, and hurried to the kitchen. Even though it was nearly 7 in the evening, he needed time to process what you said, and that you were here to see him.

You felt more warmth in Joel’s house than your own, and shed your boots and jacket, hung up the latter and walked to the couch. Sitting down, you tucked your feet under you to make them warm again. You looked around, trying to find the source of the music that was playing. You saw the record player in the corner, and smiled fondly. Of course Joel was a music guy, it just made sense.

He walked back to the living room with two cups of steaming coffee, and walked to the couch. He sat down on the far side, giving you space, but leaned over to hand you the mug.

“Got somethin’ on your mind?” He questioned as he took a sip. You took a hefty gulp and felt the warmth move down your throat and into your stomach. You were beginning to feel again, from your head to your toes. You felt less like an ice cube and more like a human, now.

“Just… wanted to see how you were doing. Been busy these last couple of days, I feel like I’ve neglected my friends.” She said with a light laugh. Joel’s eyebrows shot straight up, and he smiled small. Joel didn’t have friends. He had family. But, he would make an exception for you.

Maybe one day, you’d be family, too.

He liked the idea of that.

“Ellie tells me you’ve been working like crazy, too. People are starting to like you. You better watch out, cause the ladies already fawn over you as is.” You laughed, and Joel regarded you with an unconvinced expression. He didn’t think anyone noticed him, let alone “fawn” over him. He just did his work, day in and day out. He was unaware of the “extra attention” he was drawing from the female crowd.

He didn’t see them, because he only saw you.

“Never noticed them. Didn’t think anybody noticed me.” He said simply, taking a sip of coffee. You shook your head, and smiled into your coffee.

“I noticed you. Always have.” You said, and Joel’s eyes shifted to you as you sat across from him on the couch. He found himself getting closer and closer to you. Not physically, but emotionally. The comfort level was at a steady pace. He wanted to be sitting closer to you, to feel your body heat and drink in your comforting presence.

“Well, it’s hard not to notice you, darlin’.” He said. You blushed, and hid your face in your mug as you took a sip.

Joel was a man of few words. He was never good at them, never entirely graceful or eloquent. But now, he wished he was. He wanted to tell you how he felt, how much he cared, how much he really liked you.

But, he just didn’t know how.

And he hated himself for that.

“What are you listening to?” You teased after a few minutes of silence, a saxophone filling the air. Joel wracked his brain to figure out who the artist was.

“Louis Armstrong, I think. Jazz is the last genre I haven’t listened to at the library.” He said. You raised her eyebrows, then knitting together. And then, you laughed.

“Never would have pegged you for a jazzy guy.” You said, and began to laugh. “Country, maybe. But- but smooth jazz? God.” You covered your face to keep the laughing tears from escaping you as your body shook with giggles.

Normally, Joel would frown upon someone laughing at him. But, it was you. He was making you happy, making you laugh-

Now that. That was true music.

“Yeah, well,” He chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m full of surprises.”

“Yes, yes you are, Joel Miller.” You said, lowering your hand and looking over at him. He looked down at his mug, his pinky finger tapping against the edge lightly.

He wanted to find a reason for you to say his name again. And maybe again. He just wanted to hear you speak about anything under the sun, that would be enough for him.

“Tell you what, Joel,” you said, and shifted on the couch to face him, leaning your elbow along the back of the couch. He shifted as well, turning his body a little towards yours. “You tell me a story, and I’ll tell you a story.”

“A story?”

“Yeah, fictional or true. I don’t care- I just…” you said, and silence followed. Joel waited patiently for you to finish. His heart was hammering in his chest, but on the outside he was calm and collected.

You shrugged, and looked at him with a light smile. You didn’t have to say it. Joel knew. You knew. You just liked each other’s company, you liked the sound of each other’s voices. And it was becoming more and more apparent to the both of you.

“Alright.” Joel agreed, and your soft smile turned into a grin. He took a sip of coffee, and thought for a moment.

“I got one for ya. Not real, but a good story. Ever heard of the movie Smokey and the Bandit?”

“No.” You laughed.

“Good. ‘Cause I’m gonna tell ya all about it.”

~*~*~

The minutes turned to hours that night. You left sometime around midnight. And then you were back two days later, and the conversation struck up again. It turned into you two alternating between each other’s houses. Patrols got more frequent for you, and Joel was insistent that he go with you, not anyone else.

Joel continued helping around the town, fixing broken things but keeping to himself when he wasn’t with you, Ellie, or Tommy. Ellie was making friends, and would visit them often, leaving him alone most evenings.

But there was you, there to fill his time and capture his attention.

You were sitting in Joel’s living room one evening, the fire crackling in the fireplace to offer more warmth. You sat next to Joel, closer than ever before, your coffees already consumed and empty mugs sitting on the coffee table.

Joel’s arm was slung across the back of the sofa instinctively, and you enjoyed the close proximity. Your knee brushed his every so often, leaving you both wanting more. But, things like this take time, and Joel was a gentleman. He wouldn’t press anything, too afraid to mess up whatever relationship was forming between you.

“Jim Harris approached me the other day.” You said, and Joel’s hand clenched at his side. Ever since he took over patrols with you, it seemed Jim was trying to find ways to confront you, but not Joel. Joel wondered why, as he was the one to change things up when it came to patrols. He guessed Jim thought you were an easier target.

“He wanted to talk. I was in the middle of running food to Mrs. March’s house, she’s got a sick kid. I waved him off, but it still felt… weird.” You said and sighed, rubbing your forehead in thought.

“Other people have been acting weird lately, too. They ask about you a lot.” You added, and Joel looked towards the fireplace. While no one outwardly approached him, he could sense some of the womenfolk asking him to come around more often. Simple, almost dumb fixes. Some of them looked like self sabotage, and he was beginning to get his suspicions. He may be old, and sometimes oblivious, but it was getting more apparent that he was being eyed by several of the single (and sometimes even married) women in town.

Joel had seen the occasional man talk to you. They often leaned in to you as they did, or leaned against a wall or building post, trying to come off as cool or suave. You always smiled and talked cordially, not wanting to make any enemies. Some of them made you laugh, and that definitely didn’t make Joel feel jealous.

“Do I need to give a good talkin’ to to anyone?” Joel questioned, and you laughed, shaking your head.

“I think that would make things worse than better. But, I appreciate it all the same.” You said, your hand patting his knee. He glanced down, and your hand lingered for just a second longer than he anticipated, before you drew it away and back into your lap.

“You know I’d do anything for ya. I’m not above roughing up somebody, so long as they leave you alone after.” He said, looking down to his lap, and you smiled lightly. You looked at him, and your faces were close. Closer than they had ever been before. Joel could feel the softness of your breath against his skin, and he felt his heart thrumming in his chest.

He could feel the tension in the air, and could feel your gaze on him. He wondered what you were thinking, and raised his eyes to meet yours.

You had never seen brown eyes so dark, so beautiful, so…

The door was then wrestled open, and Ellie walked inside. She made a face at seeing you and Joel so close, but closed the door behind her. You wanted to move, but you felt Joel’s hand touch your shoulder lightly, subtly inviting you to stay.

“Tommy’s asking around for you.” Ellie said, kicking off her shoes and it made Joel flinch. He sighed, and his arm swung from your shoulders. He stood up, his knees cracking slightly, and silently cursed his older age for catching up with him.

“What’d I tell you about the shoes?” Joel said firmly to Ellie, who rolled her eyes and picked them up, setting them by the door and made an ‘okay?’ gesture. Joel looked over at you, who stood up and grabbed the coffee mugs.

“Duty calls.” You said, and smiled lightly as you carried the mugs to the kitchen. Joel sighed, and walked to the front door, pulling on his jacket and boots. You came out quickly after, and Ellie plopped down on the couch where you two had been sitting, picking up her book from the far side table. You looked as you passed, and tilted your head to the side.

“City of Ember? What’s that?” You questioned, and Ellie sat up, her eyes lighting up, and she grinned.

“One of the coolest books ever. It’s about a civilization underground, and…” she began rambling about it, and opened the book to show you the chapter she was on. You smiled, and looked at Joel.

“I’ll catch up with you later.” You said, and Joel couldn’t help but soften at the event unfolding before him. You walked over to the couch and sat next to Ellie, and she eagerly told you about the book. Joel held the doorknob, and just watched for a moment.

It was at times like these that he felt like the future was a little bit brighter for him.

~*~*~

“You’re going soft, old man.” Tommy joked at the bar one night. The snow had come and blanketed the town with white, and there was talk of Christmas celebrations. The town was much more merry than Joel had ever seen it. Or maybe, Joel was just feeling… well, maybe he was feeling a little bit of everything. Everything seemed brighter and warmer, even despite the cold weather.

Joel said nothing to Tommy’s remark. He kept quiet, his eyes always finding their way back to the doors of the bar. He was waiting, hoping, wanting.

And when you walked in, he felt his chest loosen for the first time that day. Tommy followed Joel’s gaze, and then back to his brother.

Suddenly, all the talk around town made sense. Tommy had his questions, but he knew his brother wouldn’t give them willingly. Joel never confided in anyone. Except, it seemed, you.

The talk of the town was that you guys were screwing. Only because you two were alone quite a lot. And at night, for that matter. People talk, it’s a small town, and people get jealous. Rumors swirl, and things are said. Joel had been picking up the pieces, but tried to be the bigger person. It wasn’t anybody’s business as to what you two were behind closed doors.

But, instead of making your way to the bar where Joel sat, a form stepped in your way.

“Jim.” You greeted, and could smell the alcohol on his breath, as he was that close to you.

“Been trying to catch you at a good time.” Jim said, and you feigned a disgusted look. You, like much of the other women in town, did not like Jim.

“Well, now’s still not-“

“Come on, just give me a second. If you can make time for that ancient asshole over there, then you can make time for me.” He said with a cocky air to him, and you tried to step around him, but he stepped with you.

Joel’s fist tightened at his side, and he pushed his beer to the side, beginning to rise. He felt a protective air come over him, nostrils flaring and jaw clenching. Tommy clapped a hand on Joel’s arm,

“He’s just drunk, Joel. She can handle hers-“ but Joel ripped his arm away and began to weave his way through the patrons to where you and Jim stood, and Tommy shook his head.

“Christ.” Tommy muttered, and dragged a hand down his face. He knew better than to sway Joel after he set his mind on something.

And he certainly couldn’t stop him when it came to protecting you.

“… he can share. I’d like to have a round with you, show you how a real man can treat you-“ Jim said, but Joel rounded on him quickly.

“What did you say?” Joel hissed, staring daggers into Jim’s back. Jim swiveled to face Joel, and Joel could see him sway a bit. Drunk or not, he had no right to speak to you that way.

“Fuck off, Miller. You can have her back when I’m through-“

At that, Joel had enough. He swung wide, his fist collided with Jim’s face with a sickening crunch. The crowd reacted with scattered gasps and flinches. Jim was down with one blow, and fell to the floor, his nose beginning to bleed.

“Jesus Christ, Miller! You…” He cried, and held his nose with a shaky hand. Joel bent down, and grabbed him by the collar.

“You keep your mouth shut around her, you understand? Or I’ll cut out your tongue and feed it to your fuckin’ dog.” He said, and raised his hand to give him another blow but a hand grabbed his arm. He was about to jerk away, thinking it was Tommy, but-

“Joel. Stop.”

Your commanding voice hung in the air, and Joel froze. He let go of Jim after a few tense seconds, and Jim fell back onto the floor. Standing straight, your hand eased up on his arm and he felt his breathing begin to even out. You still held onto him, and pulled at his sleeve to get him to walk away. He followed dutifully, and exited the bar with you while others watched apprehensively.

“Why did you do that?”

“I-“

“Joel. That’s not-“

“He was just so, so disgusting, and I couldn’t-“

You and Joel stood outside of the bar, the conversation tense following the events from inside. Joel’s hand continued to shake at his side, both from adrenaline and a dull throbbing pain, his ears still slightly ringing.

“He said… awful things. I couldn’t let him get away with that.” Joel said, and your eyes softened. You picked up his hand that he had knocked Jim with, and you could already see the redness forming there. Joel sucked in a breath quickly, and your eyes met his for a moment, thinking he was in pain. But, he was feeling something far from pain. Far, far from it.

“People have been talking.” You said, and Joel frowned.

“They’ve been saying, er… that we have a rather intimate relationship.” You explained, and Joel gulped. While he would want that more than anything, laying accusations of that nature about you was enough to infuriate him. You held his hand within your own, and shook your head.

“But, It doesn’t matter. I don’t care what they say. I say, screw it, let them think what they want.” You said flippantly, waving a hand to the side. “It’s not their business, anyway-“

You shook your head vehemently. You were upset that people would talk about Joel like that, after all he’s done for them. You knew it was all out of jealousy, and that it was all talk. It still stung, though.

Joel looked so serious, and normally you would have laughed and pointed it out. But you were so upset that you just couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Besides, they… Their talk is warranted. I see how it looks, but it has nothing to do with them. Only us. Just us.” You said. Joel then took your hand in his with a much more firm grip, even if his knuckles were sore. You watched him for what felt like minutes. Well, there was no going back now.

“I just… I care about you, Joel. A lot. More than- more than I can say. I like hanging out with you, I like seeing you smile, I like hearing your, rather rare, laugh. I want to hear what you have to say, I want to sit with you in silence and drink copious amounts of coffee. I-“ you rambled, and finally shut yourself up for a moment, taking a deep breath as you closed your eyes.

“I just, I want more. I want to be with you. Okay?” You said, forcing the words out, and you looked up at him. He was watching you with those intense brown eyes in silence. You thought he was going to reject it, passing it by, as his grip loosened on your hand. But, his grip became soft, and he lifted your hand to his lips. He kissed your knuckles softly, and his honeyed brown eyes watched you with… adoration.

“Darlin’, you have no idea how much you mean to me.” He said, his lips against your skin. He looked down at you, his eyes soft and sweet like a warm glass of whiskey. He raised a hand to bring his thumb against your cheek.

“I can’t give… I can’t give you much. I ain’t too good at grand, romantic gestures. I just have myself, it’s all I have to offer. You’re too good for me, and you deserve someone who can give you everything you could ask for, give you the world-“

“Joel,” You said, your eyes looking between his own. You your head,

“I don’t want the world. I want you.”

You leaned into his touch, and he let go of your hand to put a hand on your waist and closed the distance between you.

And he kissed you. He kissed you the way he’s always wanted to- gently, cautiously, but full of hope and heart.

You closed your eyes immediately on impact, and returned the kiss with a gentle push. You raised your hand to press against his bearded cheek, his hair tickling your fingertips. He smelled of wood and leather, and a strong smell that you knew was just Joel. He was everything you wanted, and more.

You weren’t sure who pulled away first, but you both needed air. Joel leaned his forehead against yours, and his thumb still gently caressed your cheek. You were too good for him, and he knew that. He didn’t deserve anyone by the likes of you.

And yet, here you were, wrapped up in his arms and returning his kiss. It was something he had only ever dreamed of, only ever thought about late at night.

But now, it was reality.

“Let’s get a cup of coffee. ‘S Fuckin’ cold out here.” Joel laughed, and you grinned, taking his hand and holding it tightly. You lead the way, through the snow and cold air, but you both felt warm from head to toe.

~*~*~

“Why not?”

“I said no.” Joel said firmly.

“Well, you look like a sad, old, shaggy dog.” Ellie said, and eyed the scissors that sat on the bathroom counter next to Joel. Joel looked at her with a raised eyebrow,

“That’s why I’m going to cut it.” he replied. He was feeling a bit self conscious about his hair lately. It was long, overgrown, and curling at the ends. You didn’t say anything about it, but he felt… scraggly.

He kept his beard in good shape. That was easy. But, his hair was a different story. He ran a hand through it, and sighed. He was in a battle with himself. He needed to at least cut the back, but he had no way to look at it or judge how much he should cut.

The door opened and you stepped into the Miller household, calling out your presence. You had been asked to come by after work for some kind of soup Joel attempted. You were practically living in Joel’s house at this point, though you still slept in your own house. It was all about taking it easy, you both agreed. It had only been a few weeks since your kiss, and you and Joel were still learning how to dance around a significant other again. But, it was falling into a rhythm, one that comforted you both.

Ellie’s eyes shifted and stuck her head out the doorway,

“In here!” she called, and you stepped into the way of the downstairs bathroom, assessing the scene. Joel glanced at you before frowning at the scissors.

“‘Sup.” Ellie greeted, and you grinned.

“‘Sup, yourself. What’s going on?” You questioned, a bit of snow still in your hair, and you rubbed your arms to bring warmth to them again. When neither spoke, you cocked up an eyebrow and met Ellie’s gaze.

Ellie grew a mischievous glint in her eyes, and she leaned back on her heels, shoving her hands in her pockets.

“Why don’t you get your girlfriend to do it?” Ellie questioned, and Joel’s eyes shot to her, red flaring up his face. You two hadn’t discussed the intricacies of your relationship, much less as to what label you would have. Joel cleared his throat and leaned his hip against the counter, crossing his arms to try to play it off. Ellie’s grin was apparent, and you stood at the bathroom threshold next to Ellie.

Your eyes cast down to the scissors, and it dawned on you.

“Somebody needs a haircut?” You offered, and Joel looked over at you, his eyes softening. He half shrugged, dragging a hand down his beard.

“Was just thinkin’ about it.” He said, and Ellie looked over at you with an exasperated look.

“He was just about to start until I came in. I offered, but-“

“You ain’t comin’ near me with any sharp objects, kid.” He said, his eyes narrowing at her. Ellie put her hands up in defense, and looked at you.

“See what I mean?”

“I’ll take it from here.” You said, and walked into the batroom and rolled up your sleeves. Joel leaned away slightly,

“You done this before?” He questioned, knowing better than to doubt you. But, this was his head you were talking about, and he didn’t want to look like a fool.

“Yeah. Used to cut hair all the time. I’m not a high end stylist but I get the job done. Now, ge over theret.” You said, picking up the scissors and gesturing for Joel to walk further into the bathroom. He sighed and did as he was told (because who was he to deny you?) and sat on the edge of the tub as you instructed. Ellie watched, that grin still plastered on her face, as she leaned against the doorway.

“Take off your flannel, I don’t wanna get hair everywhere.” You said. Joel was wearing a t- shirt under his flannel, but it still felt… intimate.

But, he undid the buttons and handed it off to you. You folded it and set it on the bathroom sink, and picked up the comb that lay not too far away. You turned to Joel and angled his head to the side and began to snip away slowly. Ellie shifted behind you, and shook her head.

“God, this is stressing me out. Don’t cut off his ears, okay?” Ellie said, and waved before leaving towards the living room. You grinned as you worked at Joel’s hair, using the comb as a line to cut around.

“I think that shows she cares. In her own way.” You laughed, and Joel rolled her eyes.

“She’s still a pain in my ass. And nosy as hell, apparently-” He said, and you heard Ellie shout from the living room,

“I am literally right here!”

You shook your head and continued to cut. Joel sat still as stone, and your eyebrows began to furrow in concentration as you moved all around him. Joel felt more and more relaxed, with your presence so near and the sound of snip snip snip softly in his ear. You moved to the front side, and he held out a hand to place on your waist as if to keep you anchored in the spot. You smiled lightly, reveling in the touch as you continued to cut.

Joel’s hand was warm and steady on your hip, and he began to rub light circles into your side over your shirt. You tilted your head to the side; and he glanced up at you.

“You look so serious.” He said, and you glanced at him with an amused smirk.

“Hey. That’s my line.” You laughed.

“Is it that bad?”

“I’m just trying my damndest to not mess it up, baby.” You said, and moved to chop at the back. You definitely didn’t want your man to have a mullet, knowing the look didn’t really look good on anyone.

“I appreciate that.” Joel said, and meant it. He moved his head this way and that as you adjusted him, and then you finally stood straight. His hand stayed at your side, and he looked up at you.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” He said, and you smile, running the comb and then your hand through the top of his head.

“Anytime.” You said, your hand trailing down his hair to his neck, then to his cheek. He leaned into your touch instinctively, and your thumb brushed against his beard. You liked the way it felt under your fingertips, and how much he just looked and felt like a man. Your man.

It felt new to think that, but you wouldn’t say it out loud. Not yet.

“You guys better not be getting weird in there!” Ellie called after a few beats of silence, breaking you from the intimate moment. Joel rolled his eyes and stood up, and you set the scissors to the side. He brought you close to his side for a moment and pressed a kiss to your temple. You smiled, leaning into him.

Yes. Your man.

~*~*~

“Why don’t you spend the night?” Joel questioned as you both trudged through the snow after a shift on patrol. You turned your head to him, eyes narrowing.

“So that’s why you’ve been so quiet today.” you said, nodding in realization. Joel breathed out a huff of a chuckle, and shook his head. You could see red creeping on the tip of his ears, and knew it wasn’t just from the cold.

“Ellie’s got a birthday party to go to, said it’s gonna run late. They say it’s gonna get below freezing tonight, and I don’t want you to have to walk home in that-”

“Okay.”

He cleared his throat, and nodded, his gaze moved down to the snow to make sure he didn’t step on anything that would give him trouble. You grinned, and shook your head at his bashfulness. He really was the perfect gentleman- never overstepping or forcing himself, respecting boundaries and even coming up with some of his own. He really was exercising the “taking it slow” rule, too.

Maybe tonight could change that.

When you parted ways, more work waited for you both. With a squeeze of hands and looks of longing, you both made a silent promise to meet up that night.

Joel had managed to get to the house earlier, and began preparing. He had gotten some more soup from the cafeteria to heat up and for you to share. He had coffee at the ready, and his house was as clean as he could make it. After putting Ellie to work before she could escape, she later remarked that “the house had never been so clean,” and “she must be pretty important for you to dust the cabinets.”

She may not have said it outright, but she knew Joel cared for you. Despite their sometimes strained relationship, she was happy he wasn’t completely alone anymore. She could see this heaviness on his shoulders lift from time to time, that line between his eyebrows disappear when he saw you. Ellie couldn’t even tease him about it for much longer, as she had her own budding relationship that Joel would eventually find out about. Then the tables would turn and she would get the incessant teasing.

“Hey,” she said, turning before she left to see Joel sweeping the kitchen one last time. He looked up, cocking an eyebrow. “Don’t fuck this up.” she said, giving him a grin. The door shut behind her, and he shook his head.

But, he agreed with her.

~*~*~

The sun had set all too soon, and he waited anxiously for your arrival. He couldn’t sit still, and fiddled with the wood trinkets he had whittled, and looked through his sad excuse of a record collection. He could feel nervousness creeping under his skin, around his heart. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe he was moving too fast. What were you thinking? Did you think that he was just looking to get some when he asked you to stay? He knew that wasn’t the case on his part, but he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. If anything, he could always take the couch-

A knock on the door sounded, and he nearly gave himself whiplash turning around and heading to the door. When he opened it, you stood with a mason jar in hand, your familiar green jacket pulled around you. Snow flurries dotted the background of where you stood, and Joel couldn’t help but smile.

What was he worried about again?

You stepped in, and when the door shut, you leaned up and gave him a light kiss. He leaned into it, about to raise his hand to touch your face when you pressed something into it instead. He looked down at it, and then to you with a cocked eyebrow.

“Moonshine?”

“Correct. Just a little. Keith said that’s all it takes.” you laughed, and Joel shook his head with a smile. He helped you out of your jacket, and you bent down to remove your boots as Joel walked to the kitchen. He had a small pot to heat up the soup over the fire, and carried that carefully after putting the moonshine down. You walked to the couch as Joel set the pot over the fire, and felt the warmth of Joel’s house seep into your bones. You tugged at the sleeves of your blouse, and Joel noted he hadn’t seen it before as he sat down next to you. It was nice- a little form fitting, beige with some kind of subtle floral pattern.

“Somebody dressed up.” Joel chuckled, and you rolled your eyes. You nudged his shoulder lightly as you settled into the couch, Joel’s arm moving instinctively around the back of the couch to welcome you into his side.

“Figured i’d try at least a little.” you said, and Joel pressed a kiss to your temple gently.

“I like it.” he said quietly, and you leaned your head onto his shoulder, the crackling of the fire and the wind outside being the only music you two listened to.

“Joel?” you questioned, and Joel hummed in response, leaning his head against yours. If he could be stuck in a snowglobe, trapped in time, it would be this moment. “Tell me a story.”

He smiled, and sighed, lifting his head and looking around, eyes narrowed.

“Alright, I got one. It’s dumb, but it was funny.” he said, trying to recall the details of the movie in question. It had been years, though. “I’ve seen it god knows how many times. It was Sarah’s favorite-” he said, but abruptly stopped. You stilled for a moment, and pondered what to say next. Joel had mentioned his daughter a few times in passing. Never for too long, but you had pieced this much together- she was young, died on outbreak day, and Joel couldn’t save her.

You could relate- you had lost your parents in quick succession after the outbreak, leaving you with strangers to survive. Losing your husband a year ago, the last of the familiarity you knew. You had never known true stability… Until now.

“She… she was a good kid-” Joel said, and you lifted your head and could see a misty look in his eyes. You pressed a hand to his cheek, grounding him back to reality.

“With you raising her, she must have been lovely. They learn the best from you, you know.” you said, and smiled gently. Joel’s eyes moved downwards, and you leaned up to kiss his cheek gently. You didn’t want to press it, knowing it was a sensitive subject for him. But, with a shaky breath, he raised his eyes to the ceiling, like he was looking for something. A reason, a comfort, something.

But, his eyes moved back to you. Though weak, he smiled. You were both a reason and a comfort. Two things he needed to finally break the ice on his first daughter.

“She loved reading. Made me read her all sorts of stuff. She knew how to read before other kids her age. I… I’m proud of her. What she did, when she was still here.” he said, swallowing. You nodded, your hand never straying far from him as it sunk from his face to take his free hand.

“She’s still here, Joel. You carry her wherever you go. Memories are good for that- keeping people alive, even when they’re not here next to us.” You said quietly, and Joel’s smile strengthened a little bit more. He nodded, exhaling deeply and shifted on the couch to get a little more comfortable.

“I remember I took her to the library every week, ever since she was little. She loved to walk around the aisles, didn’t care much for the play area. She would come with a stack of books this high,” Joel said, and raised his hand over his knee, and you giggled. “Insisted she would read every single one. And she did.”

~*~*~

When dinner was all said and done, you both nursed your second glass of moonshine, the conversation a bit more light. You recounted some funny stories from working around the commune, and Joel would laugh in amusement, the corners of his eyes crinkling. You loved that sight, and couldn’t help but grin every time.

“No, really! She said she was going to march straight to his house and give him a piece of mind. I mean, I'd do the same thing- you can’t let that shit slide.” You said, and Joel just continued laughing. You rolled your eyes, nudging his leg with your toe. The moonshine was definitely getting to you two. You had a fleeting thought to either thank Keith later or wallop him over the head. This shit was strong.

“Please, darlin’, have mercy on me.” he said, his cheeks rosy with the effects of the alcohol, a hand pressed against his aching stomach from laughing so much. You grinned, happy to see him like this. So free, so comfortable, able to laugh and actually mean it. You leaned forward and took the nearly empty glass from him. He made a noise of protest but didn’t move to stop you as you set your empty glasses on the coffee table in front of you. You nearly fell over and Joel caught you before you could tumble to the floor, both of you giggling for no damn reason. Joel pulled you up, and you were nearly nose to nose, sitting up on your knees next to him.

Your breath hitched in your throat, and you suddenly felt hot. You couldn’t tell if it was actually sweat collecting down your back or if it was just a feeling. Your hand rested on Joel’s chest, and your laughter subsided, your gazes on each other turning heavy. Your hand rested on his chest, and Joel’s brown eyes kept moving back and forth to your own. You raised a hand to press against his cheek and before you even had the notion to lean in, he crashed his lips onto yours. The force knocked you back a bit, but you recovered and kissed back, eyes falling shut. Joel hummed against your lips, and your eyebrows knit together in want. In a fit of passion, you swung your leg over his thighs and rested on his lap. This drew a real, true groan from Joel, his hands settling on your hips and gripping them like a vice. You tilted your head down, capturing his lips in a deep kiss that was enough to make your head spin.

Joel began to move your hips in his grasp, and you could feel a tightening of his jeans beneath you. You chased the feeling, beginning to grind against him. You pulled back to only dive into his neck, kissing the column and then to the side, moving to the spot under his ear. A low grumble came from his chest, tilting his head back to revel in your kisses. You began to suck on the spot, your hand moving from his chest to palm at his jeans. Joel’s hand abruptly moved from your hip to your shoulder, pushing you back just a bit before you came up voluntarily.

Looking at Joel with wide, lust-blown eyes, you suddenly felt a wave of doubt cross you. Did you overstep? Was this too much?

“Darlin’,” he began, his chest rising and falling, his dark brown eyes nearly black from what you’ve done to him. He cupped your cheek gently, “If we’re gonna do it, we’re gonna do it right. Somewhere more comfortable for the both of us.”

Your doubts were dashed away like a bolt of lightning, a smile rising to your face and you kissed him deeply. Shuffling off of him clumsily and standing up, you extended your hand to pull him off the couch. He began to lead you to the bedroom up the stairs, a giddy feeling in his chest. When the door swung open, he didn’t give much time to linger on the contents of his room, turning to you and pulling you to his chest and pressed a hot kiss to your lips.

You didn’t know Joel could be so passionate, but you were not complaining. You sighed against his lips, and Joel began to back up until the back of his knees hit the bed. You pushed him and he slowly sat down, breaking away from the kiss to look up at you as you stood over him. His hand reached out and settled on your waist, and you just had to take a second and admire him. Mouth swollen and pink from the kisses, eyes filled with a healthy mixture of lust and adoration, his chest rising and falling to show his anticipation. You could only wonder what you looked like at that moment. Probably a wild and lustful thing, dripping with anticipation.

You began to sink to your knees, but Joel was quick to pull you up with a gentleness and pecked you on the lips.

“Next time.” he mumbled and you began to giggle, feeling the corners of his lips quirk up. You pulled away, shoulders still shaking from your giggles, butterflies swarming in your stomach.

“Oh yeah? Next time?”

“Of course.” Joel said, as if it was clear as day. You grinned and moved to kiss him but he took you by the waist and turned you to lay on the bed with you on your back. You bounced on the old springs, and grinned up at Joel, hand moving to his shoulder as he leaned down and kissed you with fervor. Your other hand moved to his flannel, struggling to undo the buttons one-handed and had to have your other hand join in. Joel’s hand decided to busy themselves with the button of your jeans, sliding the zipper down. Just as you were about to undo the final button, he pulled away and undid it himself, pulling the flannel off and discarding it somewhere behind him. You pouted at the sight of the undershirt, and he laughed at your expression, pulling it off and threw it back to join his flannel. Suddenly his self-consciousness about being shirtless was left at the door, along with all of your doubts and worries.

You sucked in a breath, and had dreamed of this sight. You knew he was solid, broad, but this was a sight to behold. He was all smooth, freckled, tanned skin, his stomach a little pudgy but meaning it was well loved. It was all you had imagined, and a little more.

“... darlin’? Did you hear me? Lift your hips for me.” he said, bringing you back to reality, and you obeyed as quickly as you could to catch up with him. He pulled your jeans down, and you felt the cool air settle on your skin and realized he took your underwear down too. You whined in anticipation and he paused just as your jeans hit the ground. He looked up at you, a silent question in his eyes and you gave him a strained smile and a subtle nod. He settled on the floor, a hand tracing down your torso to your stomach, then pelvis. He kissed your knees, then your thighs and eased them open gently.

“Jesus,” he murmured as he looked down at your glistening cunt, and you lifted yourself up onto your elbows in a sudden movement to capture his reaction. “You’re fucking perfect.”

With little preamble, he leaned his head down and you lost the support of your arms as you fell back when you felt his tongue give a firm swipe up your folds. Your hands gripped the sheets out of pure bliss. If this is what you felt like now, what was in store for you next?

Joel’s lips pressed to your clit which was already throbbing with need, and your eyebrows knit together as he began to suck on it gently. Your hand itched to thread through his hair, and he did another swipe up and down your cunt before sliding his tongue inside. You both let out a chorus of groans and gasps, your back arching off the bed and his hand moved to press against your lower stomach to keep you in place. He repeated a cycle of licks, kisses, and sucking of your clit that made you see stars. Your hand eventually found the back of his head, and you really didn’t have to do anything as he pressed himself more into your cunt, his nose swiping over your clit as his mouth worked in and out of you.

“Joel-” you whined, feeling the sensation of a tightening in your stomach, your lower back alight with heat. He must feel you were close, as you gasped when two fingers entered you, joining Joel’s mouth as he worked you. “Fuck,” you sighed, trying to turn your head to look down at him. But, it had been so long since you had had a proper orgasm not by your own hand that all you could do was lay back and take it.

“Doin’ so good for me, baby.” he murmured, the words of praise making you exhale sharply before sucking in another breath at a strong suck to your clit. His fingers worked in and out, the sounds of squelching from your wet cunt filling the room. Your body began to wind up, your stomach flexing under his hand that still rested there.

“That’s it. Come for me, darlin’.” he said, not sure if he was actually talking to you or your body to coax you into an orgasm. He then curled his fingers inside you and you tightened around them, body trembling and you let out a whine that turned into a moan, your hand holding onto his hair as the other gripped the sheets for dear life. Your body flooded with endorphins, and you felt a flooding sensation down south as well. Joel pulled out his fingers, lapping up your release with obscene noises. With a few swipes of his tongue and a few swirls around your clit, you had come down gently, eyes closed as black and white danced behind your eyelids.

Feeling him shift, you opened your eyes and he coaxed you into pulling off your shirt and unclasping your bra. Your body felt weightless but heavy all at the same time, but you found the strength to move back on the bed with trembling limbs from your orgasm. Joel undid his jeans and pushed them down before climbing on top of you. You looked down and… god. He was impressive.

He kissed you deeply, bringing you out of your thoughts abruptly once more, tasting yourself on his tongue. He rested a hand on your waist, his hips instinctively grinding against your own and you shivered at the touch, winding a hand through his hair to keep him close. Your hand found his cock and you gave it a few encouraging pumps, finding he was rock solid.

“Shit, sweetheart, if you do that- I’m not gonna last-” he groaned, and you smirked against his lips and pressed him against your folds. Even feeling the head of his cock was enough to send you spiraling and your grip on him loosened. But, he was quick to take it and align himself, mouth moving in tandem with yours. He gave a few swipes of his tip and just when you were about to beg, he slid himself inside, bit by agonizing bit. You sucked in a breath as Joel exhaled with a soft moan, your mouths open and hovering between each other. Your hand moved from his hair to his cheek, and he pressed his forehead against yours as he began to rock his hips.

You were in bliss. It was such an intimate, soft moment as he took his time moving in and out of you. A hand loosening on your waist, his hand explored the expanse of your side, up and down as the other supported his weight next to your head.

“Joel…” you whispered, your other arm abandoning the sheets and curled around his back to keep him close. He rocked back and forth and hit your cervix, once, twice, three times until it became a habit. Your body began to tense again, and he groaned into your neck, your name escaping him with a hiss. He kissed your neck, his hips moving a bit faster, hitting that spot with more force. Your toes began to curl as your legs wrapped around his waist, and he began to stiffen, but didn’t let up his pace.

“Come on, give me another one.” he murmured against your skin, and your cunt twitched at the encouragement, causing him to moan again. You didn’t think he would be this vocal during sex, but god you were loving every bit of it.

“Please, Joel- I wanna-” you whined, and he reached down between you two and began to rub circles on your clit to further encourage you. Your lips parted, eyebrows scrunching up. That’s all it took for you to come undone the second time that night, tightening around him and encouraging his own release. His hips stuttered, giving about three more languid thrusts. He then quickly moved, sitting up slightly as he pulled out and pumped his cock, his sticky release painting your pelvis and stomach with white.

“Fuck.” you whispered, and grinned, Joel panting as he watched his work, and then moved his eyes to you. You couldn’t want to taste that coming down your throat. But, next time.

He leaned down, uncaring that he smeared his release between you as he kissed you deeply. You couldn’t find the strength to meet him halfway, but raised a hand to press against his face to keep him there for a moment.

He pulled away, pressing his forehead against yours and mumbled a “be right back,” moving to go down the hall to the bathroom and he came back with a damp washcloth, wiping himself and you down. He set it to the side, and joined you on the bed. His arm moved over your torso, and he propped himself up to look at you with pure adoration in his eyes.

“So… you’ll still stay?” he questioned, his voice soft, questioning. But, you already knew your answer, and gave him a smile, and a gentle nod.

~*~*~

Somewhere in the night, you had to borrow some of Joel’s clothes. The cold draft in the room was a bit more tolerable with a t-shirt and sleep pants on. Luckily Joel had enough for the both of you.

The sunlight peeked through the faded curtains, signaling morning had come. You lay on your side, Joel’s body pressed against your back, an arm around your waist. Your eyes opened slightly, still thick with sleep, but taking in your surroundings. Joel’s room was simple, but cozy. The sunlight filtering in was warming up the area, and you held onto the pillow just a bit tighter, pressing back against Joel to savor his warmth.

When you did, Joel let out a hum, and you felt a kiss on your shoulder, then another. And another.

“Was wonderin’ when you’d wake up.” Joel chuckled, and gave your hip a squeeze. You grinned, turning in his arms and laid on your back, looking over at him.

“Well, having three rounds was enough to knock me the hell out.” you laughed. You really didn’t know how Joel could keep up with the age he was at. But, he was insatiable, like a horny frat boy at a sorority party. And you weren’t complaining.

“Mm. You sound so upset.” he chuckled and leaned over, pressing a kiss to your cheek, then sitting up a bit to kiss your lips. Now that this particular moment in your relationship had happened, Joel seemed a bit less nervous and a bit more giving. You could only wonder what the future had in store.

“Did Ellie come home?” you suddenly questioned, and Joel nodded, his hand running up and down your side, pulling you close.

“She did. Don’t worry.” he said, pressing a kiss to your neck. You wanted to laugh at that- Joel Miller telling you not to worry? That was yet another first.

You sat in silence, the sun growing more and more bright as it rose in the sky. It gave the room a very warm, inviting, and comforting tone. You sighed as Joel leaned his head into your neck, his scent enveloping you. Turning your head to press your nose to his forehead, he gave her shoulder another kiss, then your neck.

“So, does this mean I can hold your hand around town now?” Joel mumbled, and you couldn’t help but grin like a kid on Christmas.

“Only if I can tell people about my absolute hunk of a man.” you teased, and Joel lifted his head at that, eyebrows furrowing.

“I’m a what?” he asked, though it was in disbelief and not confusion.

“Don’t worry about it,” you laughed, and raised a hand to card through his unruly brown and silver locks. He gazed down at you, his brown eyes looking at you like you were the only thing in the world that mattered now. You felt that familiar twist in your lower stomach, and smiled. “You’re my man, that’s all that matters.”

Joel nodded, and kissed your lips again,

“And you’re my girl?” he questioned genuinely against your lips. The sentiment and hopeful tone eased any tension that was left in your body. Your hand tightened in his hair just enough to apply pressure and deepen the kiss, your body shifting and calling for his own. And just as sure as the sun rises, his body met yours halfway, answering that call.

“I am. I wouldn’t want to be anything else.” you murmured, and you could feel Joel’s smile on your lips, humming in delight. Feeling like a couple of lovesick teenagers in a world that had gone to hell, you stayed in each other’s embrace as the sun rose high in the sky.

Daylight has never looked so beautiful.

THE END.

#joel miller #joel tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #joel miller x ofc #jackson!joel #tlou hbo #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal

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claraswritings · 5 months ago

Text

Can I Be The One?

Summary: Luca is your childhood friend who has fallen in love with you. Carmy meets you through him and falls for you too Vignettes throughout the years knowing them.

Pairing: Chef Luca x female!Reader / Carmen Berzatto x female!Reader- I have never done this before. There’s TWO ENDINGS so you can pick whichever hot chef boyfriend you want.

Warnings: angst with a happy ending, negative inner monologue, allusions to a panic attack, language, slow burn (sort of…it’s a fic which spans years), Google translate used, short smut in both endings, friends to lovers.

Notes:

1. In 2.04 in Luca’s kitchen there’s a handwritten sign that says “Jeg elsker dig” which is I love you according to Google translate 😭. So I wrote that into the Luca ending because who wrote that to him. WHO?who?WHO?WHO?… It was you if you want it to be.

2. I am so up for expanding both of these CHOOSE timelines. If anyone has any ideas for blurbs or just wants to chat pop up.

———————————————————————————

LUCA

PARIS

After some years of Luca working in London restaurants and climbing the ladder, he’d built his skills up at a rapid pace impressing just about everyone, including himself with how good he was. You’d been there for him like you promised through it all, his first successful promotion where he was tasked with coming up with a new dessert. You’d brainstorm with him and hold plates steady whilst he practiced assembly. You were there his countless attempts at spun sugar that you wound up having to pick out of his hair. The day he’d perfected his technique on that had been a relief, both for Luca and you but a sad day for the fine tooth comb industry. Seeing him flourish and be successful made you so happy. People were finally seeing Luca as you saw him. Talented, patient, dedicated and hardworking. Finally, he had something he loved that he could put all of his pent up energy into.

Every time he was offered the chance to a new place, he’d asked you to come with him and every time it had been an easy decision.

Given that you’d studied languages and spoke several, you’d agree with a joke that you’d be his unofficial translator in exchange for being his taste tester. It was easy for you to get freelance work wherever you went so it became you and Luca, travelling the world together.

Only a few weeks ago he’d asked you to come to Paris with him so he could learn new pastry techniques over there and stage at a restaurant, you’d once again agreed knowing you’d be able to pick up some translation work online.

“He speaks French and English by the way.” You said as you made your way back to the Paris Air BnB you’d been staying in over the past month. “He was fucking with the staff.” You continued, referring to the government official who allegedly spoke no English or French.

“I don’t think government officials ‘mess with’ people.” Luca looked down at you and pulled a face, “He was pretty old”

On this particular night he’d called you saying there was a restaurant emergency, a government official had requested off-menu, however when said official arrived, he stared blankly at any attempts to communicate in French or English.

“Don’t they?” You said, “I hate to break it to you but I think that is pretty much the byline of their job description.”

“I think…I think he was just being a dickhead.”

“Also in their job description, darling.” you whistled lowly, laughing as you looked up at him.

The way you called him that. It felt sweet, personable and rolled off the tongue and he suddenly felt it heavy in the Paris summer. Did it feel as loaded to him as it did to you? Probably not. You were so friendly and personable to everyone. Luca shook his head and tried not to make it obvious.

Of course he’d thought about you like that. It had started in fleeting moments.

The first day of his first kitchen job, or several years ago when he went to your university graduation and you’d held his arm as you walked across the grass to have photos taken, or last year you’d stopped in to see him, KFC bucket in hand after your relationship ended (Luca hated the guy anyway), or last month you’d tried 20 different variations of the same caramelized banana dessert he’d made even if you never were overly keen on banana because he’d really, really wanted to impress this celebrity chef that was coming into where he was working as sous chef.

It had become more frequent over the years with a hundred other times in between until he couldn’t remember when it had become harder and harder to put it down to a fleeting thought and closer to ‘I think I might be in love with my best friend’

“You’re messing with me aren’t you?” Luca asked, cocking his head to the side.

“He seemed to understand when I dropped it towards the end of the meal and thanked him sounding like this.” You gestured at yourself “So I’m going to go with…no, he understood…”

“Fucking hell” Luca let out low exhale and then laughed. “Hey…thanks again for helping, the CDC has offered you a free meal.”

“Why do you think I came down.” You joked. “Well that and I like hearing about what you’re making” you added on sincerely.

“You like me being a nerd about desserts?” Luca cocked his head, a slightly teasing tone in his voice

“Yeah but I like it. It’s actually really interesting you talking about your technique” You replied back “it’s like vocal food porn or something”

“Nah,” He laughed loudly at your description and elbowed you jokingly in the sides. “You just have a sweet tooth. I can promise you most people are not that interested.”

“Pfft their loss.…” You looped your arm through his and continued “You know I’m so proud of you, Luca, how much energy and love you put into this. It’s so cool. You’ve improved so much since your first dish and you just keep getting better.”

You were there in the restaurant for the first time a dish he’d fully made himself was served in the London restaurant he’d started at. Thai green curried pineapple. It had gone out first to the table next to you and you’d watched the woman keenly, waiting for her reaction. She’d loved it , of course she had, it was made by Luca. It was an open kitchen so you’d shot him a subtle thumbs up when you caught him staring through, fingers drumming over his mouth, nervous, hoping to alleviate his nerves. You’d proceeded to rave about the dish and her reaction, in detail, to him, all the way home, so excitedly, that you were sure half of the tube heard you. Your pride in him calmed his nerves, put him at ease, not just because you were his supportive best friend, but because it would be impossible to fake your enthusiasm.

Luca turned his head, not wanting to meet your eye for fear he’d run his mouth off ‘Couldn’t do it without you, thank you for always being there for me through it all, by the way I think I might have fallen in love with you’

“Thanks… not just for that, I mean for everything…” he stopped and mentally chastised himself for acting so awkward “How are you finding it?” He asked instead “I ask a lot of you, I know”

“Luca. I get to travel the world with my best friend, working from beautiful locations, whilst he lives his dream. It’s incredible.”

You were looking up at him, smiling, clearly ecstatically happy . And why wouldn’t you be. In a beautiful city with your best friend.

He knew he was your best friend but hearing you call him that felt weird. ‘You ARE her best friend, you’re not her boyfriend. Did you forget? Can master passionfruit macarons in a day but can’t understand that?

“Oh…by the way…I got you something.”

Your voice pulled him from his thoughts as you paused on the middle of the path and opened your bag with your free hand and passed him a napkin and written on it was a phrase in French.

“Still keeping up with that tradition?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah I might be.” You teased back. “Don’t pretend I don’t know you love them!”

Luca of course loved the little tradition you’d started and had to fight back the grin that was threatening to break out on his face but he couldn’t.

You’d leave him a message written in the language of wherever he was working at the time. ‘Good luck’ on a napkin for his first role in London, There was one from a trip of Venice (‘You’re the best <3’- sei il migliore), and another from Seville (‘You’ve got this <3’ - tienes esto) and one from Rotterdam (‘I believe in you <3’ - ik geloof in jou). They’d made their way into books, notes from each place he’d visited, pressed between pages as memories.

The newest one in French was ‘I am so proud of you’ - je suis si fier de toi <3

He would keep it with him tucked into a pocket until you left Paris for Chicago and he’d move it into a notebook alongside a step by step for Canelés, a photo of the first time he’d made a Paris-Brest and tickets from your first visit to the Louvre and one of you he’d taken, candid, looking up at the sparkling Eiffel Tower.

———————————————————————————

BOTH

CHICAGO

All you had heard about since Luca had started working at Ever, a 3 star Chicago restaurant, was this other chef.

Every day. All day.

He’d come home to you sounding off. ‘Carmen did this better than me, Carmen is quicker than me, Carmen pitted two bags of peas when everyone else had only pitted half of one,’

You knew Luca wasn’t used to being second best and you knew it was getting to him. He’d been the best everywhere he’d been, except now.

Luca would stay up later and later in an attempt to get better, sometimes only sleeping for an hour. It was as if he felt like all his hard work would be for nothing and he’d be back as the guy who barely passed his exams and got in trouble all the time. You’d wake up, go to the kitchen for breakfast and find Luca had been up for three hours practicing folding dough or picking seeds out of strawberries or whatever the head chef had them doing the day before.

You were growing concerned, you knew why it was bothering him and had voiced to him several times to varying results that there was nothing wrong with being second best sous chef at a Michelin star restaurant. This other guys ability didn’t make him less.

After listening to Luca explain that Carmen managed to get the layering of butter and dough just perfect for croissants and had made two dozen whilst everyone else was still on their first and how he could brown a baked alaska in 15 seconds without the ice cream melting, you’d suggested that maybe he should become friends with him.

“Why don’t you ask him how he does it?” You asked him “Maybe he’d be happy to share?”

“What?”

Luca looked in thought for a moment, as if he was only just clicking this was an option, considering it before you continued.

“I’m worried about how hard you’re pushing yourself, bit of competition is fine but you’ll wear yourself out at this rate…Plus maybe there’s something you can show him that he might need to know”

He knew you were right. You usually were. Typical of you to be able to rationalise his thoughts within minutes. Of course you’d suggest he becomes friends with Carmen, why wouldn’t you... ‘You know me too well, you’re good at knowing what I need to hear.’

***

You hadn’t expected Luca to literally show up with Carmen the next day.

And the next, and the next and the next.

If you were honest, you didn’t know what you were expecting from this guy Luca had ranted about for weeks but you’d gotten on with him far more than you expected. Carmen had been shy at first but as you spent more time with him, you’d grown to liked his quiet humour and how remarkably observant he was. He instantly noticed your jeans as vintage Levi 501s, the only type of jean you’d worn since you could remember and eventually he’d become friends with both of you.

Carmen had taken a liking to you, surprising even himself. You were warm, friendly, and outgoing. You had this incredible ability to make absolutely anyone feel like the only person in the room.

Like when he or Luca broke down the process of making the dish they’d made, you’d be looking like it was describing the most interesting story you’d heard.

Questions like ‘so how do you curl the red pepper tuiles? Is that with a knife or am I a total idiot?’ and ‘is it always a green apple in the sugar dome?’ and ‘how do you know when the yuzu jelly is done?’ Even the things you’d say like ‘Can you make Le Tendance with white chocolate or does it have to be dark’

Carmy knew you probably didn’t know the difference between the different types of pans he mentioned or why it mattered. There was no stake in the debate he and Luca had been having over compressed watermelon sorbet for you. But you cared. You always cared.

It was endearing and made him feel appreciated, kept him passionate about cooking even after a long day so he warmed to you, like you’d inadvertently got a part of him, given him a quiet understanding and support, he desperately craved but thought he’d never get.

He was achingly jealous of Luca and your unwavering love and support. It was evident from how you’d gush supportively over Luca perfecting edible flowers or lychee creme or whatever. Carmy desperately craved more of the warmth and love you gave so freely.

****

“Here.”

Carmy pushed a plate of spaghetti gratin towards you. “uh, try it, lemme know what you think. Something I’ve…erm, been..working on.”

“For me?” You grinned excitedly, not even waiting for him to nod before picked up your fork and helped yourself to some, slipping it past your lips.

“Holy fuck” you moaned as the taste hit you. “That’s amazing, Carmy, so good…”

“Better than that one in Mayfair?” Luca asked, from beside you, with a small smile. Your eyes met his and you nodded causing him to smirk. “Told you it was good, man” he said to Carmy patting him on the shoulder “this guys good at everything!”

“Oh god yeah” you took another bite “Fuck me this is…wow.”

“See…” Luca nodded encouragly “And thats high praise from her. She loves that place!”

“Wha’ one in Mayfair?” Carmy turned to you, curious. He hadn’t been but he knew there was a large list of fine dining places there and was keen to know what, or rather, who you had to compare his against.

“Murano. My family used to have dinner there once a week” you explained “…it’s an incredible restaurant. It does the best spaghetti gratin I’ve ever had…” you dug your fork in again and helped yourself to more, pausing as you did “Well… until this one. Have you been to London? We should all go.”

You were effortlessly likeable, funny. Colourful flowers and feathers snaking their way up your arm, a little silver nose ring, vintage jeans and leather jackets. ‘Of course handsome Luca would have a cool girlfriend like you.’

“You two married long or…” Carmy had asked before he could stop himself and immediately winced at how he’d just blurted it out, kicking himself internally.

Beside him, Luca attempted to cover up his surprised expression as quickly as possible and wondered if it was noticeable how he tensed. Did Carmy have a thing for you? What would you say? Obviously she’s going to say you’re not together because guess what? You’re not. Just because you’ve deluded yourself into thinking she’s your girl doesn’t mean she is. Don’t fuck up the one consistent relationship you’ve had in your life.

“Oh…we’re not, we’re not married, he’s my best friend.” You said off hand as you pulled the fork from your mouth, slowly.

“Oh…I tho…” Carmy stopped himself as he caught Luca’s eye. Did he know?

The pair of them held the silence for a few seconds, each wondering if the other was as into you as they were. Luca moved first, dropping his hand from where it was resting over his lips, as if he meant to speak but you beat him to it

“Can I eat all of this?” You pointed at the dish with your fork.

And like that the moment was gone. You’d changed the subject, completely unaware of the tension in the air.

Carmy nodded. He liked that you always wanted another taste. In the kitchen, taste tests were usually quick, a bite to give some feedback and then on to the next. Here in the kitchen of a rental you’d got a short lease on was different.

The need you had for more of what he served gave him more confidence, reassured him. It somehow felt more rewarding than a colleague having a test only to say ‘Perfect, chef. Thanks’.

And Against all odds and all expectations, he’d found himself also wanting more.

———————————————————————————

CARMY

LONDON

You’d left Chicago with Luca after a few months to move to Copenhagen but had promised to keep in touch. From when you arrived, you’d been raving about it to him. How beautiful it was, how relaxed you felt there, so when he’d been offered the chance to go over to Noma and work, he’d been all too happy to go.

Truth be told, he also missed you. Calls and texts a were not cutting it.

Carmy was never one for answering the phone. Maybe it was a defense mechanism with Mikey never answering and not wanting to get his hopes up that it was his brother finally reaching out. Until you. If anything he found himself calling or texting you even when he was tired.

Talking to you helped switch off the static in his head, it was like you were his reminder to stay grounded, stay in the moment.

Carmy had scheduled his flights so he’d have a few days in London before his flight to Copenhagen, mostly to try the places you’d recommended. He’d reached out to ask for the details and it had just so happened you’d been in town for a friends wedding. You’d offered to come meet you the day after, he’d agreed in a second, happy for the opportunity to spend time with you.

****

Markets sprawled across different corners of the city, each with their own individual personality and you seemed to know them like the back of your hand. He’d let you lead, and it was the fourth one you’d been to with him today and at each one you’d insisted on buying from numerous stalls and making him try a variety of things of varying quality as well as buying yourself a pin that went straight onto the denim jacket you had slung loosely over your shoulders.

“Sometimes it’s good, sometimes less so, you know” you hooked your legs over the bench you’d managed to get to before a large group of school kids. “I know it’s not fancy but I just love the markets. All of ‘em”

“I can get not fancy,” Carmen laughed, something he noticed he did more often around you. It had become almost alien to smile or enjoy himself but with you it came naturally “I don’t really cook for myself all tha’ much” He helped himself to some of your bang-bang noodles and twisted them around with his chopsticks “it’s comfort food. I get it,”

“Yeah I bet…Come home after cooking all day, you probably just want something you can put in the microwave.”

“Sometimes not even that So a week ago? Had leftover pizza and I’m talkin’ anymore leftover and I think it woulda just been gone off pizza. Didn’t even re-heat it”

“I don’t know if that’s gross or impressive!” You laughed and it made Carmy smile, he loved it that he could draw that reaction from you and loved that he smiled, really smiled, with you. He couldn’t remember the last time he could be like that around someone.

You paused for a minute, taking a drink from your can of Diet Coke before you spoke again.

“Reservations at eight by the way. I don’t know if it’ll compare but I wanted you to try it.”

“Reservation?” Carmy tilted his head, wondering if he’d forgotten something.

“Yeah.” You nodded giving him a wide grin “it’s a great restaurant in the Shard. You don’t think I’d take a chef to London and not try somewhere did you?”

****

That evening he found himself in a navy dress shirt he’d bought that same day sitting across from you. You’d changed into a little black dress, a small cardigan that was over your shoulders, sliding slightly down and he could see a pink peony on your shoulder.

If he was honest, he half been expecting Luca to show up but when you’d approached the maitre d, he’d greeted you by name and said ‘table for two’ and Carmy had silently breathed a sigh of relief and then instantly felt guilty over it.

Luca was a nice guy. Carmy sometimes wished he was a raging asshole so it would be easier to put his jealousy of him down to that and not his proximity and closeness to you.

****

“You look really good in navy.” You complimented, cutting through his thoughts. The waiter just had cleared away one of the other countless courses, a sous vide duck, that was as expected; delicious, even if he’d have opted for a different garnish.

Carmy felt his heart pick up. Had you just been sitting there thinking he looked good? He felt himself smile a little but was quick to downplay it, blinking back a response “you… you think?”

“Yeah, Navy really suits you, Carmy. You should wear it more often...”

‘Done’ he thought to himself.

“Thanks, I mean you, uh, you look nice too,”

You smiled at him but before you could respond, the waiter was at your table again, with a further course. Steamed chocolate sponge, baked white chocolate and sugar snap salad, the first of a few desserts.

“Wow” you muttered and you pointed at the plate “this looks so good…” you watched him take a bite and nod approvingly before you asked “Is it weird being on this side of the wall? Doing the eating and not the cooking?”

“A little…uh, I guess it’s not often that m’not worrying about everything being perfect,” Carmy grimaced and ran a hand through his hair “I feel tuned into their kitchen even though I’ve never been in it. Is that weird?” His hand rested over his chin waiting for you to respond.

You shook your head “No… No I don’t think so…” you dropped your voice and leant in closer. He could smell your perfume, your shampoo and soap from your skin. “if so, it’s also weird that I can’t switch off the translating and have been evasdropping on that German couple,” you looked to your right with your eyes

Taking your joke as a distraction from how much he’d like to bury his lips in your neck and kiss you, he laughed and took a bite of his dish. You’d made a good decision, this restaurant was excellent as you’d promised it would be.

Is this what you did with Luca? Go travel and visit places with him and try new foods and laugh?

A mix between jealousy and confusion crossed his mind as the thought occurred and he found himself wondering how Luca could not make a fucking move.

Is he crazy or does he have the willpower of a fucking saint. The question rang in Carmens mind before ‘You’re not making a move either,’ he told himself internally ‘being jealous of her friend, being jealous of a guy she’s known since she was a kid. She’s not into you. She does not want you, fucko. She could do better than you. You can’t compete, she’s not going to want you. You just wish you’d had her all this time like Luca has don’t you, would you have been as fucked in the head if you’d had her supporting you all this time?

“Carmy?” You asked with a raised eyebrow. “You kinda went somewhere there? You good”

“Uh, yeah, imma just go for a quick smoke..” he began to stand up and excused himself as he did

“There’s no terrace, you’ll have to go to ground, you want me to come with?” You made a move to put down your fork, to go with him. You looked a little concerned like you weren’t 100% buying that it was a nicotine craving driving the need for air.

“No no, you stay here, jus’ need to…” he waved and headed out pressing the button to take him to the ground level.

Once Carmy was outside, he ignored the request for smokers not to loiter too close to the building and lit up, taking a drag and letting the nicotine hit, leaning back against one of the pillars.

‘I am so fucked’

———————————————————————————

BOTH

COPENHAGEN

“So the cat…?” Carmy started to ask

He’d been in the city a week, deciding he’d work in Copenhagen for a while before heading to New York, and had been staying on a houseboat that apparently had a cat. Despite the note asking him to leave water out for the cat. The water never moved and there was no cat ever there.

You and Luca shared a look and started laughing.

“We lived on this boat until recently. Six months and I never saw that cat once. Bowl never moved.” you said “My theory is that the cat died and they still leave water out for it, Luca’s convinced it was a stray. He still changed the water every day, which was pretty sweet of him…”

Luca tilted his head a little. You’d thought it was sweet? Him looking after some imaginary cat? Maybe he should get a real one and wondered if he should mention it to you. ‘Bit coupley isn’t it, getting a cat? Get a cat so she thinks it’s cute and sees you with the cat and…you still won’t tell her you’re in love with her will you’ Luca told himself internally. He couldn’t stop picturing it though and noted it down as a maybe for the future idea.

****

“Tell Carmy about that Home Economics class you had!” Luca took a sip of his drink as the three of you sat at the table of the houseboat, sharing a few drinks one evening.

“Oh!” You perked up putting down your own as you sat up on your seat “this is so funny! We had this teacher, who set us task to bring in a a lunch you made at home, now I totally forgot because I had my French mock exam that morning…so of course I had to think fast so I didn’t get detention!”

You paused for dramatic effect. Luca biting back a laugh knowing what was coming. “Still can’t believe you got away with that.” He shook his head.

“I went to KFC on my lunch and got the strips and two sides, the corn and the salad, I spent the rest of my lunch, deconstructing it… if you will..” you gestured dramatically “so cutting up the chicken, peeling the skin off, eating some of it, shelling the corn with a blunt compass,” you emphasised, thinking your skill was impressive, “and mixing it into the salad and pretended I’d made a chicken salad.”

“She got a fucking A as well,” Luca commented as Carmy laughed at your ridiculous improvisation. “Don’t know how, but apparently Mrs Kennedy had never had a KFC before!”

“You might have if you weren’t skiving.” You raised your eyebrows. “Forever bunking this one” you pointed at him but you were smiling fondly as you did.

“Hey, You skived sometimes too. I remember you skived off PE to go to that game with me!” Luca joked back, playfully poking you in the side

“Yeah went all that way, sat with your fans and we lost”

Your pout drew a smile from Luca who knew you supported his teams rival, before you continued “and that goal was still not offside!” you emphasised.

Luca began to insist that it was, with a playful grin, knowing he was winding you up at how aggrieved you were over a game that was well over decade old.

Carmy forced a smile at the back and forth between you and Luca, taking another sip of his own drink, hoping the coolness would quell the feeling inside.

He hated it that it bothered him that you and Luca had all these shared memories, that the only time you ever bickered was over your rival teams and even then it was teasing, that Luca had known all these different versions of you, that he probably would always have that shared bond with you.

You and Luca were now bantering back and forth in a playful way that made his chest hurt so he stood up and made his way to the kitchen and began shuffling through the drawers until he found something wedged between two of them.

“What the hell is this ?” Carmy couldn’t help himself as he pulled out the cheese knife. There is no way this was one of Luca’s that he’d left when he’d lived on the boat, meaning it had to be…

“Oh my god my knife!” You perked up, abandoning your spot at the table “I’d wondered that was!”

Your cheese knife.

Your old, falling apart, slightly…okay very, blunt cheese knife.

Luca had tried on multiple occasions to persuade you to get a new one but you’d insisted you liked your old one and trusted it. Until it disappeared when you moved off the houseboat and you assumed you’d accidentally knocked it into the water or something.

“Not that knife” Luca groaned as his eyes shot over to the black handled knife Carmy held. “I was hoping you’d lost that for good” he grinned half jokingly “but it just keeps coming back”

“It’s a knife, Luca, not a haunted doll!” You laughed “I must have just left it here before we moved!”

“Wouldn’t be surprised if it was haunted.” It was his turn to pull a face, first at you then at Carmy.

“Hey I got this knife my first year of University and…” you attempted to protest

“Yeah I can tell..” Carmy spoke, giving you a pointed look. “It’s falling apart!”

“It never failed me.” You continued ignoring both of them at this point “when I wanted a late night block of cheese it was there…”

“You coulda got a professional one or anythin’ that’s not some cheap whole sale crap”

“Actually, it was from Ikea.”

The shared expression of horror between the two men was enough for you to crack up and concede, knowing you could not defend your knife to one chef, let alone two.

“Okay” you threw your hands up “Fine… but how about we leave it here, on this boat…to…”

“Fuckin’ mentally scar any chef that might be put up here in the future?” Carmy added with a laugh and was only met with a swift side eye from you, followed by a sly smirk suggesting you knew he and Luca had convinced you.

****

“What’s the note say?” Carmy asked nodding at a piece of paper glued to the front of Luca’s first Copenhagen notebook. He’d taken it out to read over some notes, prepare himself and prep.

He knew it was likely in Danish but it didn’t look like one of the common phrases he’d tried, to little avail, to practice. It looked a bit like your writing, but he couldn’t be sure.

Luca felt a flood of warmth at the chance to talk about it.

“So it’s this little tradition we do, she writes me these sentences in whatever language of the country we’re staying in. They’re usually like, ‘Well done’ or ‘you’re the best’ or something.” he enthused

“Oh.” Was all Carmy could manage at first. The jealousy sat in his stomach in a way he wasn’t entirely comfortable with. Carmy hated that he was jealous but he wanted you to write him cute notes, phrases he’d only half understand “Sounds…erm, sounds nice.” was all he managed before his throat went dry.

“What are you drawing anyway?” Luca nodded at the half open notebook. As his eyes flickered down to the paper, Carmy felt his stomach drop, the breeze had blown the pages past the passionfruite posset, past the wagu beef, past the shaded menu options and right to…

You

Carmy couldn’t cover it quickly enough.

Luca just looked from the paper, back to Carmy, back to you and could feel his heartbeat in his ears.

Course Carmy likes her too. And he’s better than you at everything. She’d pick him you know. Probably already has. Why did you introduce them? That would be tragic. Introducing the one woman you’re desperately in love with to her future man and never making the move yourself. Had her as your best friend, your roommate and still couldn’t tell her you wanted her. You’re a fucking idiot.

He said your name.

“You like her?” Loud enough for Carmy but not for you. Carmy didn’t answer but he didn’t close over his book. “You into her?”

After a moment, Luca sighed, and scratched his cheek and sat beside him, accepting Carmy’s silence as confirmation.

“Yeah, me too mate.” He said quietly before passing his friend a drink.

———————————————————————————

LUCA

COPENHAGEN

With Luca securing his dream job and you able to work remotely, you’d found a bigger place together in Copenhagen. The temporary houseboat to a small place to this bigger apartment now, with a large open plan kitchen and a walk in pantry for Luca to store whatever he might need when he brought work home with him. You didn’t mind as long as he let you taste it.

You’d won the coin toss and scored the room that overlooked the water. Luca hadn’t complained, you worked mostly from home so it made sense for you to have the room with a view and also he’d have conceded anyway, knowing it would make you happy.

****

As Luca entered the room, he saw you from behind, a pair of mid thigh cycle shorts on and a large oversized black t-shirt, getting something out of the fridge. It slowly dawned on him that you were wearing his t-shirt.

The t-shirt on him was tight over his broad shoulders, stopping on his hips but on you, it hung loose and ended about at the end of your thigh, owing to the big height difference between the two of you. Making it look like it was all you were wearing. He’d seen you in shorts before, of course he had but this felt different. It was his t-shirt over the shorts making his brain go haywire.

“Hey!” You turned and greeted him, smiling. “How was work? Did that 70th birthday go well?”

“You’re…you’re wearing my shirt.” was all he could manage before he felt his throat dry up. “Are you?”

‘Get a grip man what are you a fucking teenager’ he chastised himself internally. You’ve drawn attention to it, you could have just enjoyed the view a little while longer…’

“Oh shit sorry, yeah, I just, I got stuff down mine and the doorbell was ringing and yours was at the top of the clean laundry. I didn’t think it was appropriate to open the door in just my bra.” You put what you needed on the counter and moved back beginning to prepare whatever you were making. “Not the best first impression. He might have got the wrong idea…”

Luca just hummed a laugh and didn’t say anything as he tried to stop his brain wandering to you wearing his shirt in other scenarios and he had to shut his eyes. He brought his hand to his temple, and massaged, hoping he could conceal his brain betraying him as tiredness.

“It was the landlord.” You carried on “He said rents due on the 2nd, the utility room is on the 5th floor and he’d like you to get him a reservation, he likes rhubarb and pistachio sorbet” you began relaying the translation of the landlords message.

It was around a minute later he realised he hadn’t actually replied being too busy thinking about, walking over to you, lifting you onto the counter and kissing you hard, sliding down those shorts and having you just in his shirt.

“Luca? Luca, are you okay?” He snapped back to Earth realising you were looking at him “you kinda zoned out”

“Uh yeah, rent by the 5th, utilities on the 2nd” he repeats, waving his hand.

“Other way round, you dope” you laughed. “Come here and help me anyway” You wave him over to the kitchen. “I’m making something. Sorry to take work home with you but I need your expertise!”

“Branching out from the air fryer?” he raises an eyebrow and you laugh

“What! it’s quick!” You protested in defence.

He smiled in agreement “You got a point. Come on now what do you need help with?”

You nodded towards some peaches “Can you dice those whilst I fix this dough out?”

Luca agreed and began dicing but he couldn’t help his eyes, drift back you for a few moments every so often. He watched as you attempted to knead the dough but couldn’t quite get the pressure right and struggled to push down owing to the angles.

“No, like this. The angles better if you…” Luca put down the knife, peaches sliced and diced to perfection. “Here I’ll show you”

He moved around the counter and put an arm either side of you, his hands on top of yours, pressing yours moulding the dough, as you let him lead, relaxing. He began holding your hands with his so he could knead whilst showing you. He tried to resist the urge to press into you, to hold you tight against him.

“Like this, see” he said quietly and you nodded, watching his hands and yours under them as he moved effortlessly.

“Yes, chef” you jokingly quipped and Luca had to bite his lip to stop him dropping to your neck.

It wasn’t quite what he’d like to be doing right now but it settled something else for him. So much so that maybe it was even preferable. This almost quietly domestic, almost coupley activity.

When the dough was done, he reluctantly stepped back instantly missing the contact with you, as he watched you line the dish with the dough and peaches and slide it into the oven.

“Thanks Luca” you grinned at him.

“Anytime.” Was about all he could manage and he meant it, that two minutes set his stomach alight more than anything he could remember.

You ate it together on the small balcony later that evening and as you’d asked him how it felt to finally get everything he wanted; job as head pastry chef at a Michelin restaurant and beautiful place to call home in a gorgeous city. He had to hold himself back from saying

How can I have everything I want but I don’t have you. Not in the way I want you.

———————————————————————————

CARMY

NEW YORK

“How’s Eleven Madison Park.” You asked him. He’d started a few months ago and told you to come visit when you were next in New York. Of course you’d accepted.

The head chef hates me. And not just from a cooking point of view. He actively hates me. I throw up every day before work and usually have a panic attack in the walk-in at least twice a week, he gets weirdly personal, he thinks I’m shit, told me to die yesterday. Carmy thought but hesitated, reluctant to dump his stresses out there in the open incase you thought he was overreacting.

“It’s good, but erm, I mean it’s…a lot, the head chef he’s…”

“A dick?” You suggested recognising the ‘I hate my boss’ look on his face.

Carmy looked a little startled and then he let out a breathy laugh. “He’s one of the best chefs in the world…but yeah…he’s an ass…” he stopped

“What does he say to you?” You asked, carefully.

Carmy didn’t want to say it out loud, saying it out loud felt like it would give more weight to the words and some deep paranoid part of him worried you’d agree or even worse that you’d realise and think ‘he’s got a point, you are worthless and insecure and too slow and pathetic’

“Yknow…just always on me…” his voice was quiet.

He felt the twitch in his leg and ran a hand over his mouth biting on his knuckle for a few seconds, trying to distract himself but all he could hear was his voice in his head.

“Carmy?” You noticed the furrow in his brow and his leg bouncing and his hands against his mouth “You ‘kay?”

When he didn’t respond, you continued, concerned but careful. “Carmy, babe, can you look at me? That’s all I need you to do,”

It was a struggle as he rose his head, forced his eyes open and locked his wide eyed stare onto yours. You smiled gently and exhaled, gesturing for him to follow.

He did and you did this a few more times, talking him through breathing a few more times.

‘Well done fucko, she definitely thinks you’re crazy now’

But your expression didn’t suggest that at all. The opposite. Your look was one of understanding, of compassion and kindness.

“I find this helps.” You lifted your fingers to your own neck where it joined with your shoulder, the clavicle just below, you pressed down in a massaging motion.

“Can I touch you?” You ask and Carmen swore he short circuited but instead he just nodded and hoped it wasn’t too needy, too quick that he responded to you asking to touch him.

With his permission, you put your hand on him, a copy of your own. “Like this.” your hand was on his chest right over his clavicle, circling my gently “Focus on my voice”

You continued to talk to him until he held his heart rate calm and whispered out a ‘thank you’

“Glad I can help” Before you removed your hand from his chest, your fingers brushed the gold chain he always wore, you looped it out from under his shirt. “I like this.”

“Thank you.” He said again, trying to focus on the words and not the soft touch “had it since I can remember.”

“There’s another pressure point…” you said, and took his hand and gently pressed between his thumb and finger, “Just here….”

Your hand paused as the other side skirted his palm and you froze, turning it over and seeing a partially healed burn, still red and sore. “Ouch.”

“Occupational hazard” he said with a wry smile. “It’s fine now, was worse a few days ago” he hummed

“Lemme clean it properly for you. I see plenty of utensil related injuries. My best friend is a chef too, remember. Dont want you to make it worse…”

Of course, fucking Luca. Handsome and a nice guy. What a prick.

He was pretty silent as he you cleaned it for him then you’d insisted on a cream, tracing the cut gently once you’d done “There we go, good as new”

“I like you being here.” He squeezed your hand in a moment of bravery “it’s quieter”

A laugh escaped your lips “No ones ever thought of me as quiet but I’m glad I can help.” You gave him such a lovely, soft smile that he couldn’t help but fall in love with you again.

“I mean in my head.” He said with a laugh “you, uh, y’make it quiet in my head”

Its like you turn down the volume in my head and up the warm brightness, I love you. No one has ever been like this with me. I think I’d fall apart without you. I love you.

You squeezed his hand gently “I’m glad I can do that for you” and he could have sworn he felt it in his chest.

———————————————————————————

LUCA

COPENHAGEN

Luca was barely able to keep the grin off his face. He’d been working on a special dessert just for you, going in early, finishing late, all to perfect this.

The thinnest wafer with a soft caramel creme scooped over centre, topped with a milk chocolate dome. It was a fine dining version of a long since discontinued chocolate bar that you’d loved and he could hear you approach the restaurant kitchen in perfect time.

“Hey! You ready to take off? Film starts in half an hour?”

“Here…I…” He carefully lifted the lid from the plate. “I made something for you!”

“Oh my god this looks amazing!” You stared putting down your bag, as Luca prodded the pouring chocolate towards you. You picked it up and he watched your face completely light up as you poured to reveal the concoction under it.

“Wow…this is so cool!…wait…Is this…” Your eyes lit up when you clocked what had inspired the assembled plate in front of you. “No way! Luca, how did you do this?”

His hands ran through his waves a few times and he crossed muscular arms over his large chest.

“I made it.” He said as if it was a love confession “for you.”

“Oh my god. Okay, I’m going to need you to walk me through it!? This has to be my favourite thing you’ve ever made and I haven’t even tried it yet! What even made you think of this? this is so cool”

Luca grinned and it was the same wicked smile he used to give you when you were younger and he was up to something.

‘Because I love you and you miss it and you look for it in every food store in every country we go to. You think I don’t see you looking but I do. If they won’t bring it back and make you happy, I’ll bring it back for you. Sorry it took so long. I wanted it to be perfect because you’re perfect. I love you’

“You wanna know how I made it?”

Luca gave you that look. He loved it when you asked about his process, you always did but this, the chance to gush about how he created something for you? He could do this all day.

“Course I do!” You spooned a large amount into your mouth and couldn’t stop the sound that escaped your mouth. “Fuck, this is insane. It’s perfect, Luca, oh my god”

“So to get the wafers right, you have to make sure it’s smooth wheat flour, see.” he used a fork to point at the rippled wafer in the dessert, pointing out the waves he’d folded the wafer into. “And I had to match the water at exactly the right about, increase or decrease based on the soaking characteristics of the flour. Took me a couple of gos…to get it exactly like it used to be…first couple it was too dense, the consistency was all off, after that it wasn’t thick enough and would break when I tried to roll it.”

You were looking at him like you were interested as you helped yourself to more.

“And you’re going off memory? For the consistency?” It was impressive being that the bar had been discontinued for about ten years.

Luca nodded, spurred on by how impressed you sounded “yeah I remember them. Super soft, so thin, folded over but with space between each wave…have to do it perfectly or it breaks when you roll it. It’s got to be feather soft.”

“You are such a nerd.” You said, but your eyes were soft and you were smiling at him softly “Go on…” you prompted

He shot a glance up to see you watching as if you couldn’t take your eyes off him, hanging on every word, he often worried he was being a geek or boring when he did this but you looked so engaged.

Luca was grateful you followed that with “how did you make the rest” because if you hadn’t the ‘it’s no problem, I’d give you anything. I love you so much I created this because you miss it.’ was sitting at the back of his throat.’

“The creme caramel was a little bit trickier than your standard, see it’s not got the regular consistency, it’s more dense and it’s closer to a creme than actual caramel.” He took a small scoop with a teaspoon and smeared it across an edge of a plate so you could see it spread thinly, smooth and creamy. “It’s all in the texture. The chocolate is all about the tempering… I wanted the dome to reveal it perfectly no matter where you started your pour, so I made twenty batches and practised so the chocolate would melt and reveal like a curtain pull back rather than just caving in… hold on,”

He got up, left the table and came back with two batches of domes and demonstrated for you, showing you on how the remaining earlier batches, it caved in but on the newer batches the melt was almost like a gravity defying curtain pull up.

Engrossed you watched like it was a magic trick.

“Luca this is…one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me.” You said softly “Thank you so much.”

“Does it taste like it did?” He asked the important question.

“You know.” You tapped the fork off the plate “Usually whenever they bring something back, it’s never as good. This…” you ate some more “is so incredible. It’s better. You are a genius! Who else can make desserts based on discontinued chocolate bars from memory alone! You’re so talented Luca, no one deserves this more than you.”

“I wouldn’t be where I am without you, you believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself”

“It’s easy to believe in you when you’re so clearly talented. Is this going on the menu?”

Luca nodded his head “It was meant to be just for you but I think I might…but I’ll still make it for you anytime you ever want it, maybe I’ll call it ‘The [Name]’,”

The smile you gave him was one he’d have given anything to see forever.

———————————————————————————

CARMY

NEW YORK

“Are you fucking kidding me? You think by the time the flight takes off and lands it’d be defrosted.”

You were staring at the departure board at JFK airport, your oversized luggage beside you as you drummed your fingers off the handle- DELAYED- AWAIT FURTHER ANNOUNCEMENT written next to your flight.

Carmy was all too aware of what the snow storm on both sides of the Atlantic meant as he stood beside you wondering if he thought it was wrong of him for hoping the snowstorm engulfing the airport was long lasting enough to ground your flight. He knew his own flight would be delayed too.

‘You’re a selfish mother fucker, wanting her flight grounded, She’ll easily go off and check into some fancy hotel and you’ll be alone and it’ll be what you deserve’

‘Attention all passengers- We regret to inform you flight DAT150846 to Copenhagen is cancelled. Please see our customer relations desk for further communications.’

“Fuck” you whistled and you started typing on your phone, no doubt sourcing alternatives.

“I mean I can get to Esbjerg from Newark but my flight won’t leave until tomorrow and there’s always the risk of the trains being cancelled so that’s one of a hell of an Uber. Which means I’ll get in…” you trailed off, as you attempted to work out the time difference.

‘Don’t go’ he wanted to say. He opened his mouth to say…something, anything but was cut off by the tannoy.

“Further announcement to all passengers travelling on the flight AA113717 to Chicago. This flight has now been cancelled. Please see our customer relations desk for more information.

“Shit that’s your flight, Carmy, they’re both cancelled” the second announcement interrupted your counting. You locked your phone as if it was his announcement and not yours that made your mind up and looked at him.

‘Good’ he thinks back to the Christmases of past, screaming, tension, arguments and yelling, hanging anxiety waiting for all of the above. The mental image of Donna, his mother, locked in her own car, which she’d plowed through the front of the family home a few years back, he thought of the Christmas he worked, where his executive chef chewed him out for…fuck knows, sitting there taking personal jibes after personal jibes, and thought ‘I’d rather spend it with you’

Subconsciously he straightens up, realising he probably should say something.

“It’s okay…I uh, don’t mind, Christmases my way can be…a lot” he shrugged and you understood.

Carmy had, in enough words for you to understand explained that his family, especially around Christmas, were in the most tactful wording; difficult. He didn’t mention them often, you knew he didn’t like taking about them but you knew enough to know it wasn’t usually a fun Christmas for him.

“This might be so weird, I know you’ve got your cousin in the city who you’re probably having dinner with but do you… maybe want to come to the air BnB I’m renting for Christmas. Not expecting you to cook off the clock, we can order in?”

“Michelle left a few days ago.” He said, referring to his cousin leaving for Chicago before the storm blew in, instead of ‘Yes, I’d love that. I’d rather be with you anyway’. Kicking himself internally, he took a breath “I mean…not that changes…” he brought his hand through his wavy hair before he took a breaths

“I’d like that. That sounds…great.”

****

You’d done the best you could, spending the dying hours of Christmas Eve decorating the Air BnB. Carmy had arrived early with a take out breakfast from a deli you loved and you’d spent the morning eating.

Wanting Carmy to open his present first, you passed it over and watched him unwrap it and the realisation slowly settle

“Is this?”

You nodded “Uh-huh.”

Carmy unpacked it from the wrapping and held it against himself. ‘We stopped for less than ten seconds’ he thought to himself as he unfolded the jacket.

“How did you know?” His blue eyes met yours, a curious expression on his face.

“I saw you looking. Remember a few months ago?” The way you said it is was as if it was obvious.

He’d never felt important enough for his sideways glances, one off comments and quick observations to be picked up on. For you to pick up on it…it made him feel special, loved even.

She does not love you, motherfucker. You’re delusional.

It was on one occasion when you’d wandered through the city together in fall. It was in the window of a vintage shop. He’d commented on it, off-hand, that he’d always liked a jacket like that. You’d tried to talk him in to going in and trying it on. It looked like it would be his size but he’d brushed it off in a ‘don’t matter’ type way.

“Yeah I went back that afternoon. Try it on! We can go for a Christmas walk later. Maybe in the park? I had it dry cleaned too”

Carmy didn’t say much for fear you’d think he was crazy or overreacting “Thank you”

You nodded “And I’ve ordered you a bookshelf, it’s only an Ikea one but your cook books are on the floor. Trust me, you’ll thank me.” you noted and suddenly Carmy felt himself relax again and laugh as he passed you over your present for fear he might actually cry from how lovely you were if things didn’t move on.

“Is this the soundtrack?”

You asked as you immediately unwrapped the vinyl, slid it out, squealing when you saw the limited run pressing. It was from one of your favourite 80s movies. “This is amazing, the pressing is beautiful! Thank you.”

“Yeah I watched it….Good movie. I, um, found it in a second hand store. figured you’d…like it.” He averted his eyes from yours, shyly. He left out that it was an online store and he’d spent four hours in an auction before just emailing the seller privately and telling him he’d double whatever the other guy was offering.

“You watched something else other than the cooking channel?” You joked in return, sensing he felt a little awkward about it and wanting to lighten the mood.

“Yeah well…” he looked down and back up, hands through his hair again. “I…wanted to do something nice cause…you’re always…you’re good to me”

Your eyes didn’t leave him for a second.

She’s just grateful. She’s just your friend.

“Nothing less than what you deserve…but thank you. Merry Christmas, Carmy” You leant in and kissed his cheek, only an inch or so from where he wished you’d kiss him.

After you finished your deli breakfast, you’d go for the promised walk in the park, and Carmy wondered if in some other universe, you were doing the same thing but hand in hand rather than side by side. You walked longer than you’d planned and he found himself talking more about that Christmas. Of course you were understanding, non-judgemental and Carmy opened up to you more than he’d ever opened up to anyone; about how he chased a culinary career after Mikey refused to let him work in the family restaurant, the constant panic attacks he had over the current restaurant he worked at and the retaining of three stars that the Head Chef had still found fault with him over and about how sometimes he missed Copenhagen and longed for those days on the houseboat with an imaginary cat and as he usually did with you, he felt lighter.

When you returned back, you collapsed onto the sofa, warm despite the cold air and gestured for him to sit with you

“Put it on one of those cooking shows and tell me how you’d make it better”

You tossed him the remote.

Without saying anything, he turned it on, sat beside you and listened to the sounds of the contestants completing a Christmas Dinner challenge filled the air.

To himself, Carmy wondered if this was the best Christmas he’d had in years, maybe in his adult life.

He knew the answer already.

———————————————————————————

BOTH

It had been several weeks since you’d seen either of them. Luca, he was now back in Copenhagen and Carmen had left for Chicago, having inherited his brothers restaurant, following his suicide.

God, Mikey.

You’d spent four days with Carmy in the immediate aftermath, mostly in silence, making sure he took care of himself. Occasionally he’d share something about Mikey which surprised him more than it surprised you. When it had come to it, you’d asked him if he wanted you to go to the funeral with him as support but he’d refused.

‘Don’t wanna put you through my fucking family’ he’d said. You knew it was an excuse but now was not the time to push.

He’d left for Chicago but told you three days later, he didn’t go in, expecting you to tell him he was pathetic, cruel even, but you’d asked why and then, as you always did, just listened.

****

You’d been in touch with them both over FaceTimes and texts like any other time but this felt different.

Carmy, you’d call when he was on random lunch breaks scattered through the day whenever he had the chance. By the time, his shift was over, he’d be too tired and collapse so you scheduled them as you could. You knew he was trying to work on his late brothers restaurant but knew it was shaping up to be a huge task. He’d been going to the Al-Anon meetings and had been trying but it was you who helped most even when you weren’t there.

He thought about you, when he was anxious about the restaurant, stressed about everything and when he couldn’t cope with thinking about how fucked it was that Mikey, who wouldn’t let him work in his restaurant, had fucking left it to him.

Carmy knew he had to tell you how he felt, maybe he could ask you to come out and tell you how he felt. He opened his phone, typed out a message to you and hit send and then promptly locked his phone in his locker and unsuccessfully tried not to think about it.

****

Luca you’d call at night. It reminded you of when you were both kids and you’d stay up late talking on the phone, whispering and giggling until your parents would tell you to get off the phone. You still made him laugh now as you’d relay some horrible mistranslation at work and try to make him guess what it said and what was meant.

God he missed you, every little thing about you. All he could think, despite having his dream job and living in a beautiful city was how he wanted you.

You were the one consistent relationship he had. Other people had come and gone but you’d been there since the beginning, seen him at his best, his worst and everything inbetween and he didn’t think he could have done it without you. He couldn’t lose you.

Luca unlocked his phone, wrote a message to you and clicked it shut before the read receipt could come up.

———————————————————————————

DECISION TIME

Messages (2)

Luca - “Please come back to Copenhagen, I’m going crazy. It’s not the same without you”

Carmy - “Hey, do you maybe wanna come out to Chicago again? Wanna see you soon?”

“That the two guys that are in love with you?” Your friend said “Right on time.”

You’d just been discussing your relationship with both of them and she’d been so insistent they were both in love with you. A part of you knew but didn’t want to acknowledge it.

“Let’s see your boyfriends.” Your friend pushed

“They’re not my boyfriends” You protested.

“Okay fine. Please let me see the two men competing for you.”

“Fucking hell, they’re not competing for me” Your eyes rolled, as you chucked your unlocked phone at her. “You make it sound like I’m… Bridget Jones or Bella Swan or something”

“I mean… you kinda are, honey.” she flicked through your phone finding a picture of Luca. “Wait. THATS Luca, your school friend Luca? When did that happen?“ She zoomed in “When did he get hot? -And tall! What is he now like…6’3”?”

“Of course it’s the same Luca.” You muttered. “You think I’ve been travelling about with some other Luca?”

You paused “And Luca has always been hot.”

Youd always noticed his soft blonde hair, perfectly proportioned nose and lips and gentle eyes. He’d grown taller, more muscled and gotten tattoos but he’d always been cute in your eyes.

“Show me the other guy!” She said excitedly and you rolled your eyes playfully, she was like a teenager sometimes.

“Three photos down”

“Holy shit, he’s got gorgeous eyes.” She noted looking at a photo you’d taken with Carmy “imagine those big baby blues being hard to say no to…and nice biceps too… I bet he could bench press you.” She comments casually and nudges you. “Okay so they’re both hot, so my plan of go for the hot one is out of the question.” She cocked her head.

“That’s not helpful. I don’t know what to do, they’re both great, amazing guys.”

“Which one do you want to bang…” she looked at you “most. Like if you could only sleep with one of them, which one.”

“Really, again, not helpful.”you rolled your eyes and shoved her.

“Okay in all seriousness, put everything out of your mind,” she shushed you before you could protest. “You know who you want, its obvious, just admit it to yourself and go be with him”

You nodded. She was right. She always was

“I need you to drive me the airport.”

———————————————————————————

Choose: LUCA

Your friend grinned at you, as you tapped your card on the machine having bought a ticket on the next flight out and watched as the airport worker wrapped a luggage tag around yours, sending your suitcase off.

“I knew it.” She shook her head “I mean I’m one for a slow burn romance you know me. “But years?”

One of her eyebrows raised “I would say text me when you land but you’ll probably be too busy…” she sighed and gave you a loaded look “God, you’re so lucky…”

“Fuck off” you gave her a shove and then pulling her back for a hug you nodded. “I’ll text you in a few days.”

You sent a text to Luca- “I know, I miss you… you’ll see me soon.” and then a picture of your passport.

****

There he was waiting for you as you arrived. You hadn’t expected it but of course he had.

You couldn’t stop yourself from running over to him and he, without care that you were at the arrivals gate, in an international airport, wrapped his arms around you, leant down, tilted your head up and gave you a long, lingering kiss that was years of ‘I love yous’, years of kisses, years of yearning, years of shared jokes and memories and years of being just you and Luca wrapped up in one kiss.

He could feel his heart beating like it might explode at any minute. He’d resolved himself to just fucking kiss you the next time he saw you. Your response to his message plus how you’d ran to him had confirmed in that very moment that he had to. And here you were, kissing him back.

“I love you.” He said against your mouth, instead of a hello, words whispered so only you could hear them. “I love you. I should have told you sooner. I love you.”

You let go of your case, moving your hand to toy with the hair at the back of his neck, standing on tip-toes to close the gap in height.

“Hi…I love you” you whispered, laughing as he placed his forehead on yours “I hope you haven’t been waiting long.”

“Years, give or take,” Luca gave you an honest look that made you jokingly roll your eyes.

“I meant at the airport.”

He laughed. “Went it quick when I was trying to convince myself that I’d gotten the right idea from your text”

An eyebrow raise from you told him all he needed to know and he kissed you once again

“Definitely no wrong idea. Why do you think I got on the first flight out”

You said breathlessly against his lips before pulling him down for another kiss. His hair was ever so slightly longer, pushed back with a black hairband. He’d worn it like that the first time you’d gone to Chicago with him, he’d left the hairband in after a shift once and you’d commented on how much it suited him.

“I love you so much.” You said to him againz

Realising a large group of tourists had now begun to stare, you separated. Awkwardly he held up a hand and muttered something to them with a wave causing you to burst into laughter.

“Did you just say ‘Welcome to Copenhagen I hope you enjoy your stay’ to the nice group of tourists?”

“How did you know which flight I’d be on?” You said linking your fingers with Luca’s as he picked up your suitcase in the other arm and began walking. It felt so natural to be holding his hand after all this time.

“You always like the mid-morning flight. Remember I booked us on the six am to Venice and I thought you were going to push me out the plane”

You laughed so loudly the large group looked back around causing it to be your turn to hold your hand up in apology.

“Yeah I might have done if you weren’t carrying the passports. Now I think I’m ready for you to take me home” you leant into his side.

****

“Fucking hell.” You whispered half to him, half to yourself. “Luca, that was…”

Any worry about crossing that line was gone, it had been gone when he’d picked you up with one arm, as you entered the place you’d shared in Nyhavn. Mouths mashing together, his teeth pulling on your lip, a whisper ask of ‘are you sure’ as he slid his hand under your shirt, you answering him by sucking on his neck as he held you against him, your legs around his waist

The sudden romantic moment became funny when he’d paused in the hallway and asked “My room or yours?” but you’d never have it any other way.

Luca had been gentle at first, careful. Took his time with you. Laid you down and finished you off with his hands and his mouth, and you were back flat against the mattress, aching for him to fill you. So had reached up and cupped his face, locking your ankles at the base of his back and told him you needed him desperately, that you wouldn’t break. Luca had moaned into you at your encouragement which had only made you ache more. And after he’d let the years of want lead and take over, taking you hard and fast, giving you the best night you’d ever had and drawing another climax from you until you dropped back down on the bed back splayed and hips arched for him to finish deep inside you.

“I know. Been thinking about us doing that for a while now…You okay?” He linked your hand with his, without looking. He was still over you, caging you against him.

“You thought about that?” You gently played with his hair.

“All the time” he said casually. “Both that and this”

He was resting on your chest now, planting small kisses across your collarbone, gentle and loving. You felt yourself flush both at the casual sexiness of his statement followed by how sweetly he checked in.

“Luca, talking like that makes me want you again.”

Luca grinned with a sly look on his face “You can have me whenever you like.” He rubbed your hip and squeezed, a silent push to answer the ‘you okay?’

“I’m better than okay.” You ran a hand through his hair playing with the soft waves “are you?”

“Just got all I wanted.” Another kiss to your lips, slowly and sweetly. “I’m on cloud fucking nine”

“It was killing me.” He said quietly after a few moments, drawing patterns over your skin making goosebumps break out “…I know I had no right to be jealous, we weren’t together, I think to me, it felt like we were,”

A small sigh escaped his lips, the breath fluttering against your skin. He’d had a point. Looking back, it had sometimes felt like you were together.

“I saved the time difference in my phone and drove myself crazy when it was night over there…I convinced myself you two were…” he stopped.

“Luca, I promise you nothing ever happened, baby, he’s my friend…but you’re everything to me.”

He lifted his head up to look at you “Good” he said before kissing you on the lips, spare hand coming up to cup your cheek. “You’re the love of my life, you know,” he kissed you again “all this…wouldn’t be the same without you,”

“You’d still have made it…” you kissed him

“Maybe.” Luca kissed you again “but it wouldn’t be the same without you. You’ve seen me at my worst, at my best…and yet you’re still here” he whispered into your neck.

“Always gonna be here babe, it’s you and me,” you traced hands down over his chest.

“You’re the love of my life, darling. You always have been” Luca looked at you with a gaze so full of love it made your heart ache.

“And you mine” you pushed your hands into his hair and placed open mouth kisses against his mouth. “You’re so perfect Luca. So, so perfect”

The next morning toys wrote him a new message ‘Jeg elsker dig’ the day after which he stuck just above his work station. One you wish you’d written for him all those years ago. “I love you”

A part of you always knew you did. From when you were teenage best friends, to now, you loved him. Being with Luca now after all this time, was like finally seeing clearly.

You’d make up for all the lost time.

———————————————————————————

Choose: CARMY

You tapped to send a heart over the message Carmy had sent you, knowing he’d be eating himself up if you didn’t reply

“Miss you, Carm…I’ll see you soon I promise” You texted back, hoping he was working and it would be enough to stop him going crazy until you landed.

Your friend walked you to security and squeezed your hand. “I knew you liked him…every time you spoke about him, you got all…” she jokes “I’ve never seen you like that.” She said as she hugged you goodbye “Go get your man!”

****

You hadn’t told him you were coming, wanting to surprise him. He’d given you the address of the restaurant and now as you stood outside the door, you exhaled, taking a breath before you entered.

A pretty blonde woman smiled at you as you did

“Hi! I’m looking for Carmen Berzatto.” You said returning her polite smile

“Are you [Name?] I’m Natalie. I’m Carmy’s sister”

That surprised you “He mentioned me?”

“I got it out of him eventually. You know what he’s like” She then walked to the door leading to the kitchen and stuck her head through “Carmy. You’ve got a visitor”

“If it’s the butter delivery, jus’ sign for it, Sugar, ok?” He sounded frazzled despite it being only the morning.

“It’s not the butter delivery! It’s your girl.” She said clearly not in the mood for messing around.

There was all of a sudden a flurry of voices.

“A girl? For Carmy?” You heard a mans surprise.

“Is it the girl on his phone.” A woman asked

“Jeff’s got a girl?” another woman spoke.

“Let me see.” There was shuffling around and then another man spoke “How the fucks he done that?”

“Cousin, gimme the fuckin’ phone.” You couldn’t help but smile as you heard him, hearing him in person made your heart swell. “How’d you get my password”

“Your passwords 1111, Carmen.”

“I’d say it’s not always this chaotic…” Natalie started turning back to you “but it is.”

Before you could respond you were cut off him, your Carmy, emerging from the doorway. He looked so gorgeous.

Wavy hair that he’d clearly been running his hands through, big blue eyes, strong arms under one of those white shirts and little gold chain peeking out.

“Sugar- what is the…” Carmy stopped seeing you.

“Hi.” His face softened within a second of seeing you although the fear of rejection still lingered in his mind. Why were you here?

He turned back to shout into the kitchen “Alright…gimme, gimme like five minutes okay?” Carmy ushered his sister into the kitchen so you could speak freely

“Why didnt you call me? I’d have picked you up at the airport.” he ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry…I wanted to surprise you” you gave him a small smile “Carmy” you spoke as if you know exactly what’s on his mind “I want this…I wanna be with you, like properly be with you.” You paused “And I think you want that too”

Carmy could barely believe it, you in his restaurant, in his home city, surprising him and telling him you wanted to be with him? “Course I do.” He answered quickly “Fuck was I obvious?”

“Being that it took me this long to realise it, I don’t think so.”

“S’alright, I just feel like I’ve gone crazy” Carmen choked out a laugh, still overcome with emotion that you were here. “I thought…”

‘I thought by ‘see you soon’ you meant that in weeks or months from now, you’d visit. I thought you’d go to Luca, your gorgeous, tall, charming childhood friend in one of the most beautiful cities in the world who has it all together. Not me, the fucking colossal fuck up. Surely he’d be your first choice’

His hand ran through his hair again and came to rest over his lips, expecting you to say what was I thinking I’ve changed my mind, see ya.

You took his hand and let him link his fingers with yours, knowing he had a habit of fidgeting with his hands when he was nervous.

“Carmy, I’m serious, this is me choosing you. Over anything, anyone else”

“How the fuck do you do that.” He blinked “Sometimes I feel like…like you’re in my head, or somethin’”

He liked it, he didn’t feel like his heart was going beat out of his chest around you. He could actually breathe and think with you around. Seeing you, here, in his home city, with him…he felt at ease for once, all the worries, all the stress he carried around, felt lighter. It was like you, just by being you, could turn down the sound in his head.

“Cause I know you.” You smiled softly “And I wanna make you happy. You gonna let me make you happy babe?”

He didn’t know how to finish the sentence but with the reassurance, the knowing that you’d wanted him, that you’d chosen him, he felt a surge of confidence and he cupped your face with both hands before he dropped one to your waist holding you against him and the other moved back through your hair pulling your lips to his, connecting the two of you in a passionate, messy kiss. You could feel his taut muscles, toned and firm under his shirt and holding you tight to him easily.

He’d make his excuses and finish early. Richie absolutely revelled in making fun of him for leaving to go get some, telling him maybe it’ll make him less pissy and Sugar was just happy to see Carmy happy again, she’d worried about him but the moment he’d laid eyes on you was the first time she’d seen him smile in weeks.

****

“So fuckin’ amazing.” He said breathlessly, whispering kisses against your neck later that evening “didn’t hurt you did I?” He met your eyes instantly concerned.

“No baby, I loved it” you laughed a little, you were still straddling him, legs either side of him, catching your breath as you played with his wavy hair and planted little kisses on him. “You’re the amazing one, so good baby”

Carmy had barely been able to keep his hands off you since you arrived back at his.

He’d been straight over to you, kissing you, sliding his hands up under your shirt, like he thought you’d disappear or like he wanted to touch you as much as he could incase you changed your mind.

You’d returned his kisses with equal intensity, until you’d ended up in a tangle on the couch. both your shirts discarded and jeans half unbuttoned, with your hands half down each others, touching each other, taking turns drawing moans from the other.

“Just want you” you whispered against his ear. “Only you, Carmy”

You shifted up so had your legs either side of him straddling his waist, when you could feel him under your own heat, hard against you and ground your hips into him, telling him how much you needed him.

He couldn’t wait any longer and shuffled off his jeans and yours, pulling you down to straddle him. After a few more, rotations of your hips, you slid down on to him, biting his shoulder as he stretched you. You went slow at first, teasing him and savouring the sounds he made, with every rotation of your hips. After a few blissful moments, Carmy’s hands found your hips and after a careful look for approval from him, he began moving you up and down at a fast pace, drawing cries of pleasure from you until he came deep inside you after you’d reached your high.

****

“Don’t move yet.” He whispered quietly as if admitting the need for closeness with you would make you disappear, as his hands went to your hips, holding them flush against his own. Despite the firmness of the words, there was still some vulnerability there.

“I’m not going anywhere, you wanna stay like this we can stay like this,” you rubbed your hands over his broad shoulders, still unable to get over how toned his body is.

He rested his head on your shoulder, kissing at your collarbone. “I’m so fuckin’…” he paused and wondered if it was inappropriate to tell someone youre in love them in the immediate aftermath of sex. He wouldn’t know, you’re the first person he’s said it to but he couldn’t stop himself. “I’m fuckin’ in love with you.” He said into your neck.

“Carmen.” You said, the use of his full name making his gaze shoot up to your eyes. For a second he wondered if he’d done something wrong. He was staring at you, those big blue eyes you loved so much, looking at you with pure love.

“Hey…it’s okay…” you kissed him softly, slowly, touching his face in the most tender way, thumb gracing over his cheekbone “I love you too.”

As he exhaled, dropping his forehead to yours, he was for the first time in a long time, not just content but happy.

#carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto imagine #carmy berzatto x reader #chef luca imagine #chef luca x reader #luca the bear imagine #luca the bear x reader #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #the bear x reader

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theabigailthorn · 10 months ago

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An Off-Brand Post About the Kim Petras Concert

this post isn't about acting or youtube stuff I just want to say I had a really fun time at the Kim Petras concert last night :)

I saw her four years ago and wow, she's really gotten better - like she was a good singer before but now she's really got the pipes! Great outfits, great backup dancers, also shout out the guy who mopped the stage before she came on: I see you working hard to make it safe and enjoyable for everyone, thanks buddy!

Thank you so much to all the people who recognised me and came up and say hello: I'm really touched by how much you enjoy my work? I often feel that what I make is silly or not good enough but it makes me so happy when people get something out of it. I'm also so happy you're excited for Dracula's Ex-Girlfriend!

Shout out to the cute girl who hit on me as we were leaving and gave me her number. You might have googled me by now, perhaps you found this post - hello! I'll text you when I get back from LA; I think you might be a bit young for me 'cause you mentioned you're a final year student, but hey maybe we can just go for a friendly coffee and chat about the concert :) I need to get a burner phone first (I've had problems in the past with stalkers pretending not to know who I am) so I may not give you my actual number until we've gotten to know each other properly - sorry, my life is strange sometimes, being a public figure makes it hard to meet people but I'm flattered you approached me

Also, the opening act - Georgia - WOW, she was so good! What a talent! I'm gonna check out her music, she was so heartfelt and it was amazing how she played the drums and keyboard and sang all at once! I gave her a big thumbs up and she smiled at me!

I was the only person in the venue wearing a mask? Made me feel slightly odd but I have to film a movie next week and I didn't want to get sick, so. (I took it off to snap a quick selfie, which was perhaps a little cheeky but I wanted to remember how much I was smiling)

Wild that the last time I saw Kim I was still in the closet! How times change!

#Kim Petas #lmao who is Kim Petas?#I meant Kim Petras obviously #Kim Petras #Can't Even Spell #Seriously Though Earplugs Are A Great Move Can't Recommend Enough #That first pic is so funny lol you can almost see the Transgendification Rays entering my body

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its-avalon-08 · 5 months ago

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why did you leave me (cl16)

part5!

multipart story! prev || next

summary : charles and y/n have always been best friends. but y/n has been in love with him forever. when charles starts dating a new girl, out of respect y/n distances herself. but how much is too much?

✦ pairing - charles leclerc x female reader

Charles had been in a foul mood all week. The breakup with Camille had left him heartbroken, but more than that, he felt a deep sense of loneliness. The one person he truly wanted to talk to was Y/N, but she had been so distant lately.

As he approached the Red Bull garage, he spotted a familiar group. Carlos, Lando, Max, and Lewis were standing together, laughing and chatting. Y/N was there too, looking radiant as ever, her laughter ringing out melodiously.

Charles' mood darkened further when he spotted Y/N chatting animatedly with Lando Norris. They stood close, laughing and sharing an easy camaraderie that used to belong to him and Y/N. Lando wrapped his arms around Y/N in a playful hug, and Charles felt a surge of jealousy and anger.

Charles' heart clenched as he watched her interact so effortlessly with the others. He made his way over, feeling a pang of jealousy mixed with longing.

"Hey, guys," Charles greeted, forcing a smile.

"Hey, Charles!" Carlos said, giving him a friendly clap on the shoulder. "Long time no see."

"Yeah, it's been a while," Charles replied, his eyes drifting to Y/N.

"Y/N was just telling us about her trip to Japan," Lando said, his eyes shining with excitement. "It sounded amazing!"

"You went to Japan?" Charles asked, trying to keep his tone casual.

Y/N nodded, her smile faltering slightly as she met his gaze. "Yeah, it was a spontaneous trip. I needed a break."

"Sounds fun," Charles said, unable to hide the bitterness in his voice.

Max, sensing the tension, quickly changed the subject. "So, Charles, how’s the car feeling today?"

Charles answered distractedly, his mind racing with thoughts of Y/N. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he had been left out, that he was no longer a part of her life. As the conversation continued, he realized just how much he had missed. The others knew about her recent adventures, her new hobbies, even small details about her day-to-day life.

"Y/N's been really into photography lately," Lewis mentioned, showing Charles a stunning photo Y/N had taken on his phone. "She's got a real talent."

Charles clenched his jaw, feeling a surge of anger and frustration. He turned to Y/N, his eyes blazing. "Why didn’t you tell me any of this? Why did I have to find out from them?"

Y/N looked taken aback, her eyes wide with hurt. "Charles, I—"

"Why weren't you there anymore, Y/N?" he demanded, his voice rising. "Why did you cut me out of your life? One day I woke up and you just weren't there anymore. No call, no text, no updates. You abandoned me."

The others exchanged uneasy glances, sensing the brewing storm. Y/N took a deep breath, trying to steady her emotions. "Charles, I didn’t mean to—"

"You didn’t mean to what?" he interrupted, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You didn’t mean to leave your best friend behind? You didn’t mean to make me feel like I don’t matter anymore?"

"Charles, that’s not fair," Y/N said, her voice trembling. "You were happy with Camille. I didn’t want to intrude and I thought that was okay. That you were okay with it."

"Everything is far from okay," he snapped. "How come you have time for everyone else but me? You can be here for Lando, laughing and hugging, but you can't even spare a minute for your so-called best friend."

"Charles, please," Y/N said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Well, you did," he said, his voice cracking. "You hurt me more than you can imagine."

Y/N faced Charles, taken aback by his outburst. "Charles, I—"

"No, Y/N, let me finish," he interrupted, his voice trembling with emotion. "I've been through hell these past few weeks. Camille and I fucking broke up, and the one person I wanted to talk to, the one person I needed, was you. But you weren't there. You were nowhere to be found. Do you have any idea how that feels?"

Y/N's eyes widened with shock and guilt. "You and Camille broke up? Charles, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't know! You haven't been around to know anything about my life," he retorted. "I don't get it, Y/N. Why do you want to be friends with everyone else but me? Why are you pushing me away?"

Y/N reached out, trying to touch his arm, but he pulled away, the hurt and betrayal evident on his face. "I thought we were supposed to be there for each other, no matter what."

"We are," Y/N whispered, her voice barely audible. "We are, Charles."

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes as she realized the extent of his pain. "Charles, I never wanted to hurt you. I thought distancing myself was the right thing to do."

"Right for who? Because it sure as hell wasn't right for me," he said bitterly. "I've missed you so much, Y/N. You were my best friend, and now it feels like I've lost you too."

He asked, his voice breaking, "Why did you leave me?" Charles shook his head, his anger giving way to a deep sadness. "I just want to understand," he whispered.

Before Y/N could respond, Carlos stepped in, his tone gentle but firm. "Charles, maybe we should all take a moment to cool down. This isn’t the place for this conversation."

Charles nodded, his anger still simmering. He turned away, not trusting himself to speak without lashing out again. He needed to clear his head, to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions tearing him apart.

As he walked away, he heard Y/N’s soft sobs and it broke his heart even more. He knew he needed answers, but more than that, he needed to find a way to fix the shattered pieces of their friendship before it was too late.

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles lecrelc #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x female!reader #f1 imagine #formula 1 #formula one #y/n #best friends #ava speaks #charles leclerc fanfic

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woso-dreamzzz · 1 year ago

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Call Up

Hardersson x Teen!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: You get called up

Your first senior call up happens when you're seventeen (nearly eighteen) and still playing at Arsenal.

You've got a day off before the derby against Chelsea so your mothers have flown out to support you and, somehow, you've ended up at Millie Bright's house.

You're surrounded by your Momma and Morsa's old teammates (and a few of the Arsenal girls who were on the team when you were very little). There aren't enough seats for everyone but you're happy to sit on the floor in front of Momma and let her slowly card her fingers through your hair.

It's one of the things you've missed about being in England. You miss the little things about Momma and Morsa like this. You know they miss you too because there's never a day where they rearrange your daily video calls or don't send Leah around to your apartment when they think you're feeling especially sad on the call.

You miss them. They miss you. But you all know that it's best for you to be here, in England. You're still the second choice keeper but you know that if you keep working hard then by your eighteenth birthday, you'll have managed to clinch the number one spot.

After the derby, it's international break and you know that, while the senior teams are calling everyone up this week, you need to wait a few more days until the Denmark youth team sends for you again.

You've settled in well in the under-nineteen squad and you know that there's a round of friendlies coming up soon that you're excited to be apart of.

"The third choice keeper broke her arm," You can hear Morsa complain about the Swedish team," It was such a freak accident. It was gory to even watch. I almost threw up."

You don't pay much attention though, leaning back easily into Momma's hands. You're not paying attention to anything actually because you almost miss the vibrating of your phone on your leg.

You don't recognise the number but you pick it up anyway.

"Hello?"

"Is this y/n?" A professional-sounding voice asks," The Arsenal keeper?"

"Yes? Who is this?"

"Excellent. I'm calling up on behalf of the Swedish Senior team. I'm sure you know by now but our usual third keeper has been injured. We're offering you the call up in her place."

"W-What?"

You must sound especially panicked because everyone in the room has turned to look at you in confusion.

"I understand that you usually play for Denmark's youth teams but we've had our eye on you for a while. We've got a round of three friendlies coming up, one for each keeper, and would love to have you with us."

You feel frozen in place, capable of nothing but blinking.

"I..."

"Sorry," The person says," I'm getting ahead of myself. I understand completely if you wish to stay with Denmark. You're such a talent. Forgive me for wanting to have it on my team. I understand if you need to discuss this with your mothers as well. Do you need some time to think about it?"

"No!" You say quickly.

You've never really thought about a senior team call up. You just kind of assumed that Denmark would be the obvious choice. You've spent so much time in a Denmark shirt that you just assumed Sweden didn't want you anymore.

"You've already come to a decision?"

Your feelings on this call up must have already been decided. It must have been decided for years in some deep, hidden away part of your brain because there's no need to even think about it. There's no need to even discuss it with Momma and Morsa.

Somehow, you think you've always known the decision you would come to.

"I'd love to join you for the friendlies."

You can hear the person's smile through the phone. "Excellent," They say," The details will be sent to your email as well as your agent's, who I'm sure will forward it to your mothers. Just in advance, what would you like on your jersey? Your name or Eriksson-Harder, like your Denmark jersey?"

You make eye contact with Momma, who looks increasingly worried the longer you stay on the phone. "Harder-Eriksson," You say," Please."

"You've got it. I'll see you very soon, y/n."

"Yeah, you too."

The call ends and you stare at your phone for several seconds.

"It's a bit early for the youth team call up," Morsa teases," You're changing your name? Does Eriksson-Harder not cut it anymore for Denmark?"

You blink. "More like Harder-Eriksson suits Sweden better."

"Sweden called you up?" Momma asks," That's strange. You've never had any problem rejecting their call if it came before Denmark's before."

You shake your head. "No, it wasn't the youth team. It was the senior team."

The room's quiet enough to hear a pin drop.

Morsa's voice goes hoarse. "What?"

You look at her. "I got called up for Sweden's senior team."

Someone else in the room, Leah, you think, says," Holy shit."

Momma pulls you into a hug. "Harder-Eriksson?" She asks, eyes glistening with tears.

You manage to shrug. "Morsa got Eriksson-Harder when I played for Denmark. You get Harder-Eriksson when I play for Sweden."

Morsa is still frozen in shock, looking much like how you feel. Her hands are shaking a little as she crushes you in her embrace. When she pulls away, she's crying too.

"Magda," Momma says," Why don't you call Frido? I'm sure she'd want to know."

Morsa nods robotically. "Right. Yes. Frido. Would want to know. Yes."

"And you," Momma says fondly, cupping your face and kissing your forehead," I think you should call a certain retired keeper, shouldn't you?"

You've already got Zećira's contact lined up on your phone.

#woso x reader #hardersson x reader #pernille harder x reader #pernille harder #magdalena eriksson x reader #magdalena eriksson #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso #The Big Adventures Universe

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queeneamidala · 5 months ago

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𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝

{𝙳𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝙾𝚗𝚎}

𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜: Joel never knew what summer felt like. Until he met you.

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: fluffy fluff fluffiness. Pining!Joel. Jackson!Joel. Post-Outbreak. Soft!Joel. Some alcohol consumption. (Age gap or no age gap, you decide). Close proximity. Joel is disgustingly in love. Light swearing. Coffee consumption. Flippin’ POVs like a burger at McDonald’s. Slow burn. Like, slooooooooow. Sort of kind of proofread (don’t hurt me). F!Reader, but has no description of any kind, so it’s all you bby <3

𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: <3k

ᴬ/ᴺ: Baby’s first fic!!! God, I’m so nervous. I really hope you guys enjoy it! This literally came to me while I was manic as fuuuuuu- and it was inspired by a Taylor Swift song (don’t judge!) So far I’ve written 2 1/2 parts, I think I’ll post part 2 this Sunday? Theres a LOT more to unpack in part 2, so stick around… Please let me know what you think!!! Likes, reblogs, comments, anything and everything is appreciated!! Thank you and happy reading <3

~*~*~

She was beautiful, but that was just a general observation.

You were beautiful, and he had made this observation several times while passing you by in town. He had noticed you speaking to nearly every person in town. You had a very easy going air about you, friendly. Open.

But, the way you talked to Tommy, Maria, and now Ellie more and more often had Joel at an uncomfortably close proximity to you. Your presence was drawing near, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it.

He sort of didn’t want to stop it.

But, just when he thought you were going to approach the table to sit, you broke away from Ellie and walked to a different table. He felt something drop in his chest. Was that really disappointment that he felt?

“Makin’ friends?” Joel questioned as Ellie sat down, and she snorted.

“Right. ‘Cause I have friends.” She said dryly, and Joel cocked up an eyebrow.

“Looks like it.”

“You could use a friend.” Ellie replied, and Joel shifted a bit uncomfortably.

“I don’t need anyone.” He said into his food, and Ellie made a face, rolling her eyes.

“Everybody needs at least someone.”

Joel’s eyes shifted to you sitting at the table just across from them. Your smile was radiant, and he felt something twist in his chest.

No.

He wasn’t meant to be loved.

~*~*~

Winter was coming, and the people in town were preparing. You were busy but still managed to make time for people. For everyone really. Joel was almost envious about how easy you talked to people. He didn’t have the same talent, and he was fine with that.

So, one day, when he was called upon a house to help with some faulty wiring, he was taken aback when it was your house he was called to.

But, he took his toolkit and went to your place. The door was open, but…

You weren’t home.

He felt disappointment in his chest again. He shook it off though and walked to the side of the house outside. He opened the box and began to work diligently, his mind wandering to other things.

How long had you been standing there?

“Job’s gotta get done.” Joel said, gesturing to the box, “as you requested.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. Ellie was insistent that you were the best the town had.” You said, and Joel lost his concentration and nearly dropped the screwdriver he held.

Christ, I’m gonna kill that girl.

He furrowed his brow like nothing happened and kept working. He was definitely going to talk to Ellie later. The last thing he needed was the whole town to be depending on him for maintenance.

But for you…? Well, it wasn’t so bad.

“You… let me know if there’s- if there’s anythin’ else.” Joel said, trying to keep it drawn out but it sounded rushed to his ears. He nodded minutely and you stepped out of the way.

“Thank you. It means more to me than you know.” You said, and shifted, your shoulders brushing by accident. Joel simply nodded, and made his way home.

He rubbed his arm after a few minutes of walking, and swore he felt warmth there.

~*~*~

Tommy and Joel were sitting at the local “bar” (if you could even call it that) and were talking over a few drinks.

“Next time.” You said.

Next time, Joel thought. There was going to be a next time? He hoped so.

“I see you’re helping some people out. Good for you to get some socializing in.” Tommy noted after taking a sip of his drink. Joel shrugged,

“Well, you two look like you’re having fun. Mind if we cut in?” Maria questioned, and Joel barely looked up, until it registered in his mind.

We?

You settled into the seat beside Joel while Maria took the one by Tommy, boxing the boys in. Joel instinctively stiffened, and hoped you didn’t notice. If you did, you didn’t show it.

“What are we drinking tonight, boys?” You questioned, and Joel glanced at you. He cleared his throat, looking down, and held up his glass slightly.

“Whatever they’re trying to pass off as beer.” He said, and you looked at him. He felt like a deer in the headlights, watching you look at him. It felt like time was suspended, and he gulped. But, you smiled like it was nothing and turned to the bartender.

It dawned on him that Tommy and Maria were knee-deep in their own conversation, promptly blocking off you two. Joel felt put on the spot, under your eye.

“Thanks for all your help by the way.” You said, taking a sip of the beer. Joel nodded, his brown eyes casting down to his beer.

But, he didn’t do it for them. He knew that deep down inside.

He did it for you.

“I gotta say, Mr. Miller, you’re an enigma.” You said with a light laugh. Joel’s eyebrows furrowed, and felt his stomach lurched at you saying his name, even if it was his last name.

“A what?”

“An enigma. You know; a mystery, something hard to explain.”

“I ain’t no mystery.” He said, shaking his head. You grinned, and tilted your head to the side. Joel felt his mouth go dry, so he took a sip of his beer to quell it.

“Okay, okay.” You said, shrugging and turned your gaze across the bar. He felt your elbows becoming achingly close. If he just shifted just slightly, he could feel you against him.

But, he’s not meant-

“Mind if I stop by tomorrow?” You said so abruptly that it threw his thoughts off.

“Sorry?”

“I’ll be there then.”

~*~*~

“Heard you weren’t feeling well. Made you a little something.” You said so casually it was like you were talking about the weather. But, Joel was floored. You heard about him, and went out of your way to do something for him?

He felt bad for faking his illness. But, the fact you did this? It made him… feel.

“Thank you.” He said, and went to take it but then paused. You laughed,

“I don’t care about getting sick. Here.” You said, and handed him the dish, barely crossing over the threshold. He took it gingerly, and looked down at it. Whatever it was, it looked damn good.

“Do you… would ya want to come in?” He offered. You suddenly beamed, and god, if that wasn’t a sight to see, Joel thought there wouldn’t be anything better in the world.

“If you want.” You responded, and Joel moved to let you inside. As you passed, he could smell your soap, or personal scent- whatever it was, he felt lightheaded in the best way. He closed the door and walked to the kitchen, you following him along.

“I also have the book. Hope Ellie’s not too mad it took me so long.” You laughed and set the book on the kitchen table. Joel walked to the other side, setting down the dish.

“‘M sure she won’t mind.” He said, and his eyes shifted to you. You and all your beauty, your kindness, the way your eyes smiled even while you were sharing a passive look.

“Do you want some coffee?” He questioned, and there he went, sounding rushed again. He just wanted you to stay, to share you sunlight with him just a bit longer.

When you agreed to it, he got busy. He nearly knocked off the mugs off the counter trying to prepare everything. You sat at the table, and glanced down at the book. Joel looked back to see your attention on something else other than him, and felt a little more at ease.

“I got a patrol coming up.” You said, and Joel poured the dark liquor into one of the faded mugs. He turned and carried it to you at the table, sitting across from you.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. This will be my first one.” You said, and he could see for the first time something else in your expression- anxiety. Fear.

He didn’t like it, to see you facing such emotions. He wished he could wrap them all up and throw them away. Whatever it took to see your smile again.

“Who’ya going with?”

“I see.” He said. Why did anyone assign you with Jim Harris, of all people? They knew of his ways and his complaints. The last thing they needed was to put you with him, all while alone.

No, he wouldn’t stand for that.

“I’ll get ‘em to switch things around. I’ll go with you.” He said, and nodded with finality. You looked at him, a bit surprised if not shocked.

“Oh. You really don’t have to-“

“I insist. I can get some strings pulled so you won’t have to be near him. Besides, I just… I can’t stand someone like him being near you. It ain’t right.” He said, his fingers gripping the coffee mug a bit tighter at the thought of Jim laying even a finger on you. You looked at Joel, the shock really settling in now. Joel was unaware of the gravity of his words in the moment, something he would regret later. Not that he said them, but that he hadn’t said more.

“Anything you need, darlin’.” He said, the name rolling off his lips before he could stop himself. You smiled, and Joel would have given you the moon right then and there if you asked.

“A true southern gentleman.” You mused as you took a sip of your coffee. Joel’s face flushed, and he averted his gaze, and began to speak but you cut him off.

“I like it.”

Joel felt the ghost of a smile on his lips, and he glanced at you, shrugging.

“Old habits die hard, I guess.” He said, and rubbed the back of his neck. He could feel his hair curling under his fingertips as he did so. He needed a haircut, and sorely.

But, the town was lacking a barber, so he figured he would do it himself one of these days.

“A good habit to have.” You said, and he chuckled.

He found he did that often with you- just taking in any bit of you you had to offer, when he was feeling brave enough.

“Take it easy. I’ll see you on patrol. Okay?” He said, and you gave him that gut wrenching smile. Could have brought him to his knees if you so desired.

He watched you go, and his name still hung in the air. Despite the door being open, the cold sweeping in, he felt warm.

Oh, he was such a goner.

~*~*~

Part Two out now!

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #tlou #the last of us #joel miller tlou #joel tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #pedro pascal #daylight series

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bjhlvr · 3 months ago

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color of love

synopsis! red velvet members as love tropes

OT5! red velvet x FEM! reader GENRE! fluff, headcanons ig TW! none ig ( tell me if im wrong ) NOW IS PLAYING! . . . color of love by red velvet

⟢ bae joohyun ᧔o᧓ 배주현

joohyun is more comfortable around people she knows well and trust, so i think friends to lovers is perfect for her. it’s important to have same interests and understanding between her and her girlfriend. she’ll probably cook for you every morning or make you a smoothie, gonna light up some vanilla candles and comfort you at night. joohyun is always ready to help or listen to everything you have to say, ready to give an advice. she’ll give you her clothes if you want. her love language is probably a quality time, so she’ll spend as much time with you as she can. joohyun’s favorite type of dates are probably home date’s or picnics in the area where you won’t be bothered by many people.

⟢ kang seulgi ᧔o᧓ 강슬기

seulgi loves travelling with her family and especially with her cousin soojin, so i’d say she’ll be perfect for bff’s sister trope. she would prefer to be in a relationship with someone who has great relationships with family and respects her family as well. seulgi is very creative and interested in art, so she would prefer her girlfriend to at least like something connected w art, she would absolutely love museum or art gallery dates. she would definitely go on a zoo date with you to see pandas together because we all know how much she adores them.

⟢ wendy son ᧔o᧓ 웬디손

wendy has a lot of talents and interests and i think she would fell for someone who has same interests as hers ( mostly ), so soulmates. she’ll probably catch your sense of humour first because that’s important for her. she loves singing together even if you can’t sing, she loves cooking and dancing to a quiet music playing at the back, that’s just so romantic for her. she would love to go to canada with you on a vacation just to visit places she liked when she was a teenager and show you her old high school. she would never adopt a pet or even buy herself a plant because she’ll definitely forget to feed it or something, but she’ll be happy to do that together w you.

⟢ park sooyoung ᧔o᧓ 박수영

sooyoung suits her stage name so well, just by looking at her you can feel happiness and love, so first love is definitely her trope. even when she was a little girl she was always so open and kind to people, she’ll always smile no matter what and she will protect people she loves. words of affirmation and caring are so important for her, even though she’ll give you twice more attention and care than you would. everyone knows that sooyoung adores dogs and she would definitely take you out on a date in a dog cafe. sooyoung loves kids, so she’ll probably wanted to create her own family with you in future and starts thinking about that after the first date, she’ll just get so excited :((

⟢ kim yerim ᧔o᧓ 김예림

yerim is very friendly, outgoing and yk extroverted introvert, so girl next door – there she is. she’s that girl who’s never alone at her house, her friends are always at her place when she’s not out with them. yeah, she loves spending time alone ( or with you ) but mostly with you lol. she would fell for someone who has the same state of mind (?) as her, same opinions and probably similar personality. a friendly girl with good sense of style probably would catch her eye. yerim sometimes overthinking a lot, so she’ll need your support and love, she would love to hear kind words from you. she would love shopping together and ohhh movie dates are her favorites!

#୨ৎ ⋅ 妮卡's work #red velvet x reader #red velvet #wlw #love tropes #irene x reader #seulgi x reader #wendy x reader #joy x reader #yeri x reader #kpop headcanons #kpop fluff #kpop gg

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writerfae · 15 days ago

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Christmas movie au Advent Calendar 🎄

Day Nine: 🍪Baking🍪

Christmas special tag list: @bunnymermaidsblog @deadlycupid @dustylovelyrun @ladywithalamp @sleepy-night-child @theguywithnonickname

Talon couldn’t remember the last time he ever baked.

He must’ve been a kid back then, helping his mother and sister with Christmas preparations. He hadn’t done that in a long time.

He was no talent in the kitchen, but as he told Aiden and Maya, the two had told him not to worry about it.

“Making cookies is easy, everyone can do it.”

Besides, they said, he had two experts with him.

“Baking is literally part of my job,” Maya reminded him. “And Aiden here has been helping me and my mother with making the cookies for the Christmas market ever since we were children.”

When Halea would find out that Talon was helping to bake cookies, she’d probably fall off her chair laughing.

She was absolutely convinced that her friend could set fire to cereal and she had more than one reason to believe that.

Luckily he wasn’t as much of a disastrous baker as he had anticipated.

He would lie if he said he wasn’t at least a little daunted when he was sat in front of a massive bowl and told to make a portion of dough all by himself, cause apparently they needed so much of it that that one bowl - or even two - won’t do.

But beside the fact that the flour he dumped into the bowl left behind a cloud of dust that made him cough and covered half his face, which resulted in Aiden clinging to Maya in laughter, it all went rather smoothly.

Okay, maybe Talon did throw some flour at Aiden about laughing at him and maybe that did result in a little flour battle that Maya later scolded them for, even if it was in a fond tone that gave away she wasn’t actually mad.

Nearly the whole countertop was covered in rolled out Christmas cookie dough.

As they started to cut out the dough in the form of stars and Christmas trees Talon was sure that they could feed the whole town plus reindeer population with the amount of cookies they were making.

“That’s the goal,” Aiden said laughing, when Talon voiced his thought to the other two. “They’ll be sold at the Christmas market after all. You’d be surprised how fast these cookies are gone.”

They chatted about this and that while they cut out the cookies and Talon had to admit to himself that he indeed had fun, something he didn’t expect.

Though he should’ve guessed, because with Aiden everything turned out to be more fun than he expected it to.

He was just fun to be around with his jokes and stories and the occasional friendly touches that never failed to make Talon’s heart react to it - and it made Talon feel content.

In fact, he hasn’t felt as good, as happy in a long while (if you left out the big elephant in the room, that was).

After the first few batches were in the oven. Maya excused herself because of an appointment she apparently forgot about.

“I’ll be back in an hour or so,” she had told them. “Remember to melt the chocolate for the topping, the first load should be done in a while. And Talon, make sure the chocolate actually ends up on the cookies and not in Aiden’s stomach instead.”

With that last warning she was gone.

Aiden pouted. “Killjoy.”

Talon laughed. “Come on, let’s do what she told us. Maybe I’ll let you have some of the chocolate if you tell me how we’ll best get it to melt.”

Now it was Aiden who laughed. “Deal.”

The batches were done right on time as they finished melting the chocolate.

They got them out of the oven, put in the next few batches and once the cookies had cooled down a little, began to decorate them with the chocolate and all kinds of other stuff.

As most of the melted chocolate was spread out on the cookies, Aiden took a spoon and began to scrape up the rest that was still in the bowl.

As he found Talon looking at him, he chuckled. “What? You said I could have some of the chocolate.”

He offered Talon the spoon full of chocolate. “Or do you want some, too?”

Instead of answering, Talon simply leaned forward and took the offered spoon into his mouth. Aiden’s eyes widened in surprise, but he held the eye contact Talon maintained throughout it all (in strange rush of confidence) until Talon leaned back into his seat again.

“Thanks,” he said with a grin on his face. “That tasted good.”

Aiden swallowed, then he nodded. Loading the spoon with chocolate once again, he lifted it to his own lips this time, not at all seeming to mind that this was the same spoon Talon had in his mouth seconds ago.

Talon couldn’t stop his eyes from staring down at Aiden’s mouth as he licked the spoon clean.

Oh, he was so gone for this boy, who was he even trying to kid.

Aiden’s gaze flickered up to Talon watching him and for a moment they only stared at each other, spoon and chocolate and everything else around them forgotten.

Talon could swear Aiden was leaning forward slowly and he was pretty sure he did the same when suddenly the ringing of the oven startled the two and the moment was over.

“I’ll get the cookies,” Aiden said, clearing his throat.

Was he blushing or did Talon only project his own bashfulness onto him?

Would they have kissed if the oven didn’t disturb them?

Or did he maybe inhale too much flour?

But ever since that moment there was a certain tension in the room and Talon was almost glad when Maya came back and he wasn’t alone with Aiden anymore.

He suspected that Maya could feel it, too.

When Talon excused himself later, claiming that he had an important call to make, she let him go without much complaint, thanking him for his help.

And Aiden, too, didn’t try to get him to stay.

Maybe he was just as shaken about their almost-kiss or whatever you would call the moment they shared as he was.

Talon left, taking the scarf with him despite his better judgment. He had barely sat a foot into his room when he already dialed Halea’s number.

“Halea, I don’t know how long I can take this anymore.”

#writer speaks #writeblr #wip: the knights of the alder #Christmas movie au #Christmas movie au: Advent calendar 2024 #writing #my writing

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gg-university-if · 1 year ago

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At Prince Leopold University you are expected to be the best because remember the best are made not born and you are expected to get good or get lost.

Play as a scholarship student at Prince Leopold University attempt to balance attending classes, make rivals, meet lifelong friends and pursue budding romances all the while dealing with the administration of a major university. Or don't.

Getting a place in PLU is hard, getting a full scholarship is harder. You did both. So perhaps it's no wonder why everyone seems to have such high expectations for you, expected to maintain passing grades, attend your club and be a forward face for the school, it's not like it's anything you haven't done before right? But can you pull it off again?

• Play as male, female or non-binary with options to be straight, gay, asexual or not pursue a romance at all.

• Experience a university that takes itself a little too seriously and expects you to do so as well – define your main character's personality, appearance, history and demeanour.

• Choose what scholarship you're on and which club you're in while training and playing like your scholarships on the line – because it is.

• Choose from track and field, music club, student council and drama club.

• Romance a hot-headed high-school rival, the brooding lead musician, the friendly student president who happens to be your brother's best friend, the charming but distant actor or your awkward roommate or the rebel with equally big dreams.

• Focus on or ignore your relationships with your teammates, acquaintances, family and friends back home, school staff and the public.

The Hot Headed Rival A

Aqil/Aaliyah Radwan, 19

The Vice Captain of the PLU Track-And-Field Club and your highschool rival, they are intense and arrogant with the talent to back it up and they'll let you know it.

In the heat of an argument they find that they don't know why they're shouting anymore and that look on your face stirs something they'd rather not discover.

tldr; rivals to lovers and enemies to lovers.

The Brooding Musician H

Hader/Hetti Jasanoff, 19

The moody, brooding leader of the Screaming Diamonds and the PLU music club, they hate those who see their passion as nothing more than a hobby but they'll allow you to prove yourself.

In the midst of a performance they find their heart skips a beat but they don't want to face the music just yet.

tldr; everyone wants the bad boy and everyone likes musicians.

The Brother's Best Friend B

Beck/Belle Torres, 21

The social, spirited and amiable President of the Student Body and your brother's best friend, with much enthusiasm they're taking care of you at university although it's supposedly a favour.

Despite their popularity they seem to have held most people at arms length when asked they simply laugh and talk about their playground love.

tldr; brother's best friend and friends to lovers and the boy/girl next door.

The Distant Actor F

Frédéric/Frederica Jame, 19

The flirty but distant lead of the school play and the aspiring actor in the drama club, they're more than happy to have humour your whims but when you think about it you don't know all that much about them.

Despite that when you're on stage they only have one command "keep your eyes on me."

tldr; master of the mixed message.

The Awkward Roommate R

Rudra/Rania Punyamurthula, 18

Your roommate for this year at PLU, awkward, excitable, intelligent they seem to be unaccustomed to life without someone else around and they're infinitely excited to make their 'first real friend'.

When they're at every practice with snacks, every event cheering you on from the sidelines you get the sneaking suspicion that there's another reason for their enthusiasm.

tldr; roommates to romance and lonely rich kid.

The Singer Who Made It Big Sid

Sid Diver, 19

The lead singer of the other band on campus who seems to have a rocky relationship with both authority and a certain other musician, despite that he seems more than happy to welcome you into the fold as a new friend or maybe more with a laugh, wild grin and a dangerous look in his eyes.

You can't shake the feeling that they're angry and bitter when you hear them singing but in those hidden moments and stolen kisses behind the curtains, they feel different.

tldr; tenor boy and unreplaced departed.

Demo: Click here (word count: 56k)

References: Click here

Ko-fi: tbd

Portraits: tbd

Next update: tbd

#ggglu #gg-university-if #if #status: WIP #interactive fiction #choicescript #chapter one

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misshoneyimhome · 7 months ago

Text

Who'd you choose? I Jack Drury🖋️ 🌺⚡️

Requested: yes/no

Summary; for jack : when they guys were asked who they would let date their sister most of them said jack. so can you do a fluff + soft smut with him. i just feel like he would be such a romantic. he gives such softie vibes. _

Other notes; Well hello my sweet Canes fan 🤍 I am so happy you've found your way to my blog and inbox, introducing me to this sweet cheek 🤗 So, this is a first for me on Jack Drury, but I must admit, he's a fucking cutie 😉 I hope you enjoy this 🌺

Tropes & Warnings; Jack Drury x reader, reader's Sebastian Aho's sister, sort of friends/sort of strangers to lovers; Soft smut 18+; fingering, protected sex (p in v); otherwise just fluff;

Word count; 3.9K

Taglist; @couldawouldashoulda50, @findapenny, @justwanderingbutneverlost, @cixrosie

That first night we were standin' at your door Fumblin' for your keys, then I kissed you Asked me if I wanna come inside 'Cause we didn't wanna end the night Then you took my hand and I followed you

Jack Drury was always known for his gentlemanly ways. He was nothing but a friendly guy, a supportive teammate, and someone who always tried to see the best in people. Both on and off the ice, he put others before himself - perhaps except in terms of his career - and he was always ready to lend a helping hand and offer a shoulder to lean on to anyone who needed it. Truly, anyone.

You had known Jack ever since he joined the Carolina Hurricanes the first time around, and while you never had much time alone with him to get to know him better, you had still noticed his role on the team.

He seemed like a lovely lad, someone everyone liked, and no one could ever really dislike. But you also saw his struggles, fighting for more ice time and to showcase his talent to the hockey world. He was one of those players you couldn’t help but cheer for, hoping his hard work would be one day pay off and be recognised for what it was.

And saying you knew talent when you saw it wasn’t entirely off. You were the sister of one of the team’s star players, Sebastian Aho, born into the world of hockey in your home country Finland. And while you watched your brother skate gracefully, scoring goal after goal and making incredible assists, you couldn’t help but notice Jack striving to play at his level. And every time you saw how great a player Jack was becoming; you simply couldn’t help but smile.

But being the sister of an NHL player wasn’t always straightforward. While you frequently attended games and team events, supporting your brother as you sported his jersey number, you slowly became intertwined in the hectic life of the NHL; which you most certainly found enjoyable. The Hurricanes were a fantastic team to be part of, even as a family member. And having relocated to the US to pursue your own career dreams - unrelated to hockey, you seized every opportunity to network, even if it meant spending time at the training rink and PNC Arena.

The crucial aspect though was maintaining a balance between socialising with the team and their families. Spending considerable time together, navigating the challenges of the sport, experiencing both the lows and highs, naturally fostered relationships. And as a sister, you had to tread carefully—you wanted to display interest in the team and get to know the players, but not appear overly keen. While being a young, single woman, you were naturally attracted to successful, handsome men, and conversely, they were drawn to you.

Although Sebastian never explicitly instructed you to steer clear of romantic entanglements or getting involved sexually with anyone, you understood the implicit guideline. And as the younger sister of two older male hockey players, you were well aware of the warnings they had mentioned throughout your life about the reputation many hockey players carried.

However, on one particular evening, the dynamics had a chance to shift.

It was one of those typical post-season celebrations at the captain’s house, with just the players gathered without any family members or partners present. It was a time for unwinding and discussing anything but hockey before they all went their separate ways for the off-season, and during these nights, more personal conversations and questions often arose.

As most of the team congregated around the bonfire, holding beers, and sharing laughs over cheesy jokes and banter, the team’s joker, Seth Jarvis, posed a daring question.

“A’right! I’ve got a good one,” the Canadian forward grinned. “If you had to allow your sister to date someone on this team, who would you choose?”

“What if you don’t have a sister?” Brady asked.

“If you don’t have one, just imagine, a’right,” Jarvis quickly replied.

“Do they have to be single?” Jesperi chipped in.

“Doesn’t matter,” Jarvis grinned again. “Just picture it, having a sister, who would you let her date—single or not?”

The guys took a moment to ponder. It was a challenging question, given their familiarity with each other, not making it easy to envision any of them becoming involved with someone they cared about in that way. Sure, none of the guys were bad in any sense. In fact, most of them had such strong bonds, feeling akin to brothers with a close-knit relationship. Yet perhaps that closeness was precisely the issue. They all knew each other on such a profound level that the thought of someone becoming romantically involved with a sister was difficult to entertain.

‘Hmm’s and ‘Oh’s murmured in the warm Raleigh summer night air as they pondered, scratching their beards and deep in thought. However, the goaltender Frederik Andersen, being the eldest of four siblings with his younger sister, Amalie, was the first to break the silence.

“Honestly… I’m not sure if I’d ever let my sister date any of you guys,” he chuckled deeply, glancing down at the bottle in his hands. “I mean—don’t get me wrong, I love all of you, but you guys don’t deserve her.” The boys nodded and chuckled in agreement, yet it seemed the goalie had more to say. “But… if I had to choose… I’d probably go with Jack here,” he said with a smile, turning his head to his right to glance at the much younger team player.

“What?” Jack chuckled in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, come on—out of all these idiots, you’re probably the most… decent idiot,” Freddie chuckled lightly, taking a sip of his beer.

“Thanks, I guess,” Jack smiled, surprisingly proud of the goaltender’s words.

“You know, I think I’d actually say Jack too,” Andrei then added, smiling at his fellow teammate as well. “You’re a good guy, Jack, and I’m sure you could make a girl very happy, so… I’d go with you.”

More of the guys nodded in agreement, clinking their beer bottles together as they cheered and chuckled. They all concurred that Jack Drury was the most suitable option for a sister to date. Well, they emphasised that they HAD to choose—otherwise, none of the players would have selected anyone.

“To Jack,” Jarvis then spoke again, raising his beer up in front of him. “The player who’s the least of an idiot among us, and the one that could have a chance with a sister.”

“CHEERS!”

What began as a playful jest from Jarvis actually sowed a deeper seed within Jack than he had initially realised. After the conversation shifted away from the notion of dating a sister, he couldn’t shake the thought that there might be some truth to it all.

He was familiar with his teammates and understood that making any romantic advances towards someone of your status would be crossing a significant boundary. However, amidst the slightly tipsy confessions, a small glimmer of hope stirred within him.

Jack had to admit that he had taken notice of you. Every time he caught sight of your radiant smile, captivating eyes, and heard your melodic laughter, his heart skipped a beat. The subtle hint of a Finnish accent in your English, despite your fluent speaking, only added to your charm. And whenever you drew near for any reason, even just to pass him and embrace your brother, he couldn’t help but notice the delicate fragrance of your perfume.

Yet, Jack knew he would never act on his infatuation. He barely knew you, and he feared that the other players would perceive him as foolish for entertaining any romantic notions towards the Aho sister, particularly given that you had been a topic of discussion among the guys before.

It wasn’t anything inappropriate, just typical guy-talk on the tour bus about sisters, cousins, mothers on the team, where your name had cropped up several times, and Sebastian had swiftly shut down any compliments directed your way. Because that’s just how it went.

They discussed your sense of style, your remarkable appearances, and the way you always infused such energy into the crowd, even during training sessions. You were fantastic with the children, engaging in playful antics and unafraid to come off as silly as you rolled around on the floor to partake in mini stick games or Nerf gun battles. You were always ready to lend a hand if the team required assistance, collaborating with the wives and girlfriends, and offering support in the best way possible while still managing your own life and career.

In short, your name had been brought up on numerous occasions, and always in a positive light. And it was because of this that Jack had taken special notice of you. Noticed you, and never quite managed to forget about you.

So, spurred on by the indirect encouragement from the team, Jack resolved to act on his feelings. However, he still felt it necessary to run it by his teammate first, just to ensure that it wasn’t merely the result of the beer talking or the sentiments of the evening.

Fishy: “It’s alright Jackie 😉 Just keep in mind if you hurt her, I can’t promise how I’ll handle it”

Jack: “I won’t! 🤞🏼 But now I just need for her to say yes first…”

Fishy: “Good place to start 😉”

Jack felt a certain level of relief after Sebastian had given his approval. Yet now, the next difficult task was to actually ask you out – and he knew he had to act fast before you travelled home to Finland for the summer.

Realising he wouldn’t be seeing you around the rink anytime soon, he then thought of the most Gen Z way to ask someone out: through a message on Instagram.

“Hey y/n – how are you?” – no… too formal, Jack thought, and erased the message again.

“Hey, sup?” – come on, what are you, like 12?

“Hey, how are you doing?” – Jack took his palm to his forehead. Why was this so hard? He then took in a deep breath and tried one more time.

“Hey y/n 😊 I know it’s the off-season and you’re probably busy, but I was just thinking maybe you’d want to grab a coffee together sometime?”

Jack pondered. It wasn’t great, but it was his best idea right now. So, letting out a deep breath, he hit send and threw the phone on the bed next to him.

Fortunately, it didn’t take long for you to reply.

“Hey Jack, 😊 Sure, I’ll be off from work around 4.30 today – want to meet somewhere Downtown?”

Jack felt a wave of relief wash over him as he read your reply. He almost couldn't believe his luck – the two of you had only exchanged short conversations throughout the past couple of years, and now you had agreed to meet up with him. It was finally happening.

Quickly composing himself, Jack typed out a response, trying to sound nonchalant despite the excitement bubbling inside him.

"Hey, that sounds great! How about we meet at Brew & Brew at 5? Looking forward to catching up with you 😊"

So, with a sense of anticipation, Jack hit send and waited anxiously for your reply. This was it – the beginning of something new and exciting, and he couldn't wait to see where it would lead.

As you and Jack settled into your seats at Brew & Brew, the initial nervousness melted away, replaced by an easy sense of camaraderie. The conversation flowed effortlessly, filled with laughter and genuine connection.

You found yourself drawn to his warmth and sincerity, his genuine interest in getting to know you shining through. And as you shared stories and anecdotes, you realised just how much you had in common, from your love of travel to your shared passion for trying new foods.

Surprisingly, hockey didn't dominate the conversation. Instead, you delved into topics ranging from your favourite books to your most memorable travel experiences. And when the topic of your brother came up, it was met with understanding and curiosity rather than any awkwardness.

As the evening wore on, you found yourself losing track of time, engrossed in each other's company. Neither of you really wanted it to end, but you also wanted to play this out right. When you were about to part ways to say your goodnights, you offered him a tender kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you, Jack,” you said with a sweet smile. “I’ve had an amazing time.”

It was no secret Jack felt the same, and just as you were about to walk away, he quickly stopped you.

“How about dinner? Before you go home,” he blurted out, his heartbeat quickening in his chest.

You nodded, letting out a deep breath as you smiled widely. “I’d love to. Tomorrow? Or would that be too soon?” You felt just as nervous, not wanting to come off too eager, but still wanting to show interest in this sweet guy.

“Tomorrow’s perfect,” Jack smiled in return.

It was the easiest experience you'd ever had scheduling a date with a guy. For the first time ever, you didn’t feel anxious or feared he was only using you for sex or other things. No, Jack was different. He showed genuine care and interest in you, seeming honest and true to his intentions.

Besides, knowing your brothers well, you knew Jack wouldn’t have asked you out unless he truly meant it and had most likely assured Sebastian he had no ulterior motives.

Alright, he might not have had any ulterior motives, at least not more than any guy going on a date with a beautiful girl. However, you probably had to admit that a small part of you had a wish for how the night should end. And it would not be with you alone in your bed.

Soon enough, the night turned to day, and you found yourself on your way to meet Jack outside the restaurant he had chosen for your rather spontaneous date.

“Wow, you look… stunning,” Jack let out a deep breath as he walked towards you on the pavement, the city lights flickering in the background.

You flashed him a timid smile, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as you briefly looked down before meeting his blue eyes once more. A warmth flushed your cheeks, the thought of your simple summer dress making an impression causing your stomach to flutter.

“Thanks, so do you,” you smiled, eyeing Jack up and down in his casual summer attire.

“I think we can both agree that you’re the most beautiful one here—but I don’t mind,” he chuckled lightly. “How about we get some dinner.”

You nodded and let him guide you into the restaurant. And as you entered the small and cosy place, you couldn’t help but feel your shoulders suddenly relax, settling into the amazing and romantic atmosphere as Jack pulled out a chair for you, as gentlemanly as ever.

And just like your coffee date the day before, everything went smoothly. Any hints of nervousness quickly faded, and the conversation flowed effortlessly. No awkward silence of any sort. Everything with Jack seemed just perfect. So, as dinner ended and Jack naturally walked you home, you didn’t even hesitate by the door when you asked him to come up.

A part of Jack wanted to say no; wanting to show you that his intentions went beyond just physical attraction. However, he was also aware that you were going away for weeks, and he longed to have you close. He simply couldn't let this moment slip by—the chance to finally experience what he had desired for so long and to surrender to his deep-seated yearnings.

So, as Jack followed you up to your flat, the anticipation and excitement were palpable. The walk up the stairs seemed endless, with each step echoing your shared unspoken longing, and when you finally reached your door, your heart raced, and you could sense Jack's nervousness mirroring your own.

You fumbled with the keys for a moment before opening the door, stepping inside, and inviting Jack in with a warm smile. The cosy atmosphere of your flat enveloped you both, and as you turned to face him, you couldn't help but notice the yearning in his eyes.

"I've really enjoyed tonight," you said softly, stepping a little closer to him.

Jack nodded, his voice low and sincere. "Me too. More than I can say."

Then, spurred by a sudden confidence and without another word, you closed the distance between you, your lips meeting in a tender, electrifying kiss. It began gently, a soft exploration, but quickly deepened as your shared passion ignited. Jack's hands found their way to your waist, pulling you closer, and you responded by wrapping your arms around his neck, losing yourself in the moment.

The kiss grew more intense, and you both knew there was no turning back. Breaking apart just enough to catch your breath, you looked into Jack's eyes, seeing the same desire reflected in them.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked, his voice a mix of hope and vulnerability.

But you could only smile, your heart pounding with excitement. "Absolutely."

So, with that, you led him to your bedroom, the air thick with anticipation. The city lights outside your window cast a soft glow over the room, adding to the romantic ambiance. And as you stood together, you let your hands roam over each other's bodies, savouring the sensation of closeness.

Slowly and delicately, Jack let his hands slip underneath your summer dress, pulling it upwards, bit by bit exposing your lacy knickers, your stomach, and then your matching bra before he pulled it over your head completely.

You had to control your breath as you stood exposed to him in your underwear. And as he then began to slowly undress himself, your eyes followed his every move. He pulled his polo shirt over his head, exposing his toned and muscular torso, which elicited a light gasp from you.

He was absolutely gorgeous, and you couldn’t control your own actions as you instinctively reached out to touch his chest, feeling his skin beneath your palms, his warmth radiating. “Shit…” you muttered softly under your breath.

Jack couldn’t help but chuckle lightly as he moved to undo his loose shorts, letting them pool around his ankles before stepping out of them and moving even closer to you to kiss you deeply. His hands found the back of your hair as you both allowed each other to explore your mouths before gently leaning back onto your bed.

It was nothing but soft and gentle as Jack then removed your last pieces of clothing, exposing your true and naked form to him, before you helped him discard his boxers, allowing your bodies to touch completely.

Jack’s actions were filled with care as his hand wandered over your curves, his fingertips gracefully brushing against your skin as he slowly moved closer to your core. You let out small moans, light breaths escaping as you parted your lips slightly. And when he gently pushed a finger past your entrance and inside your moist core, massaging your walls with care before stretching you with two digits, you sank deeper into the mattress, allowing the pleasure to consume you.

“Mmm, yes Jack,” you whispered softly, feeling his fingers move in and out, stimulating your inside while you tilted your head back, your hands instinctively finding the back of his shoulders for support.

Jack couldn’t help but cherish the sight beneath him. You were incredibly beautiful, and in this very moment, he was the one causing you pleasure, making you moan and feel a rush washing over you. And as he felt your muscles tighten around his fingers, signalling a climax approaching, he felt his own member pulsating with a need for release.

“Oh Jack… Please… want you… inside me…” you managed to moan as you felt your orgasm building, needing more than his fingers to reach the high you were craving. And your wish was his command.

Gently pulling his fingers out, Jack looked at you with his ocean blue eyes, a look that had shifted from his usual soft gaze to a darker, more lustful expression.

“Do you have…?” he whispered softly.

You nodded, pointing to the drawer next to your bed where Jack then retrieved a small foil package, wrapped his erect member, and moved back into missionary position before gently allowing himself to enter you.

It felt almost magical as his thick member stretched your walls, stimulating them with every motion as he slowly began to rock his hips. Instinctively, you raised your hips slightly, lifting your legs to wrap around his lower body, providing better access for him to go deeper. And before long, Jack found a steady rhythm, allowing his length to glide effortlessly in and out of your wet heat.

“Oh yes… you feel so good,” he muttered under his breath, feeling his own climax build with every motion.

It was the perfect synchronisation of bodies moving together, a harmony of moans as you both neared the peak of pleasure, your minds completely consumed. And while Jack felt the peak approaching, he couldn’t hold back his desires and thrusted harder and faster, pushing you both closer to the edge.

The night unfolded with a mixture of tenderness and passion, both of you exploring and discovering each other in ways you had only dreamed of. Every touch, every kiss, every whispered word felt like a promise of something more, something deeper.

You could feel your orgasm approaching, muttering it to Jack as your walls clenched around his cock. And with every pound, you let out soft cries, the arousal taking over as you finally felt the wave release. Your mind went hazy, and Jack’s name escaped your lips in a louder moan. Followed by uncontrollable motions; your body arched, your eyes rolling back as you reached the blissful peak.

“Oh yes…”

And as Jack continued thrusting through your orgasm, he pushed himself over the edge as well, letting out a deep grunt as he released into the latex.

Breaths were heavy, the air thick as you both calmed from the rush of sweaty and passionate sex. Smiles adorned both your faces, and neither of you could contain the surge of happiness you felt in that very moment.

As the hours passed, you found yourselves lying entwined in each other's arms, the soft glow of dawn beginning to filter through the curtains. You felt a sense of contentment and connection you had never experienced before. Jack's arms around you were warm and reassuring, and you couldn't help but smile at the thought of what the future might hold.

"Thank you for tonight," Jack murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

You snuggled closer, feeling safe and cherished. "Thank you, Jack. This has been perfect."

Jack smiled; it had indeed been perfect. Despite not wanting to ruin this moment, he couldn’t help but chuckle as he let out a teasing thought.

“Please don’t tell your brother I slept with you on our first date… pretty sure he’d kill me for that.”

You had to let out a soft giggle. In this romantic and tender moment, the first thing Jack thought about was what Sebastian would think of him. So, you naturally decided to play along. “Hmm, I won’t say anything, but… in case he finds out anyway, I’d probably have a plan B ready.”

It was another moment filled with heartfelt laughter, following an amazing evening and a wonderful date. And as you drifted off to sleep, you knew that this was just the beginning of a beautiful journey together, one filled with promise, excitement, and the kind of love you had always hoped to find.

#smut 18+#Jack Drury imagine #Jack Drury smut #carolina hurricanes imagine #carolina hurricanes smut #nhl hockey imagine #nhl hockey smut

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ohthethingswedoforlove · 4 months ago

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Yandere!Starlo headcanons

I've been playing Undertale Yellow and of course I had to write for Starlo, with an introduction and boss fight like that, how could I not?

Warnings: yandere character; vague descriptions of violence; imprisonment; some spoilers for the game;

Starlo

💛 Starlo, or North Star as he has taken a liking to call himself, has always been one for fixations.

💛 And you being a human who just so happened to have the unfortunate mistep of falling into the Underground fits oh so neatly into his acquired fascinations.

💛 Imagine you're a human who managed to venture through the Underground until you stumbled upon the Wild East before Clover even had a chance to.

💛 You're the first human, the first real human Star has ever laid eyes on. And how exciting that is!

💛 He just has to take you along! He's seen so much about your kind and he just yearns to mimic a part of it; and besides, imagine his posse, the Feisty Five, now with a human member!

💛 You barely have time to question what he means by that before you're being taken by his gang and brought to his town.

💛 And if you somehow manage to break yourself out of the grasp of Ed or any of the other members, Star is pretty quick with his lasso. Don't worry! He doesn't want to hurt you! You just have to come with him them! You have to.

💛 He wants you as part of the team, immediately parading you around for the town's residents, delighted at his newest find. You're going to fit in just fine, partner! He's sure of it.

💛 But you can't leave.

💛 Try as you might to ask around, everyone seems to have a soft spot for Star and think of his antics as mostly harmless. They all share the sentiment that you could just stick around for a bit.

💛 They've never seen him so enthusiastic, so lively before. Maybe you could humor him? Just for a little while! It's the equivalent to playing cowboys for a few days, and where's the harm in that?

💛 Besides, this little town is just so welcoming and friendly. How can you not want to stop and stay a while?

💛 Nevermind that all possible exits seem to be closed off. Or even just straight up locked with a very clear intent.

💛 None of the other residents are as enthusiastic about your stay here. They're very nice to you and happy to see a new face, granted, but you can tell that some of them in particular are internally debating whether or not Star should be doing this. It's all in good fun... And it's not like he's actually trapping you here, right? You'll leave eventually, should you choose to.

💛 Oh, how wrong they'll grow to be.

💛 Star will drag you to "training" as soon as he can, hoping to get you started with a spot on his posse immediately. He has an eye for talent, so surely it'll be no wonder when you start showing sharpshooting skills just as impressive as his!

💛 Nevermind the fact you never held a gun with the intent to shoot in your life.

💛 Training goes over a bit awkwardly, with you clearly not being cut out to be a gunslinger and him being stubborn and convinced that you're made for this. Made to join them. Made to join him.

💛 It takes quite a bit of accidents and a lot of convincing from the other members for him to start accepting that maybe giving you a six-shooter and forcing you to answer to moral problems isn't exactly gonna work out.

💛 But he doesn't give up.

💛 Sure, you're not officially part of the gang, but that doesn't stop him from dragging you around with him everywhere.

💛 Literally.

💛 Most of the time he guides you around by the hand or, during the moments where you are "refusing to cooperate for no reason", he straight up lassos you and then drags you around.

💛 He laughs it up and tries to play it off like it’s not a big deal. He's not trying to harm you in any way, he just wants to show you around! Show you to his town, show you how fun this life is.

💛 He dresses you up for the role too, insisting in giving you old hats he no longer uses and clothes that would fit the costuming of an old western movie, all things he handmade himself. He just wants you to look the part. And he also thinks you look really cool like that!

💛 You're always there during the gang's meetings, whether you asked to be there or not, and of course you have to participate in the group naps afterwards.

💛 Star lets you take his spot on the old couch the first few times, but then he starts insisting that you two should share. He does take no for an answer, at least, a bit sad but not wanting to make you uncomfortable. Still doesn't really stop him from sleeping on the ground right in front of the couch.

💛 Makes it easier to catch you when you're trying to run away leave mid nap, for some reason. You're supposed to rest up before the next mission, you know? He's just trying to help you care for yourself.

💛 When he's not busy playing the role of the town sheriff or hanging out with his posse, while dragging you along of course, he tries to get you to talk about yourself and your life on the Surface.

💛 Star absolutely adores hearing more about you, and gets super into trying to involve your experiences, preferences and stories into the whole old wild west town he has going on. Anything you tell him he absorbs, and then he tries to give you gifts that match or recreate things you've enjoyed to the best of his ability.

💛 Of course, he also goes to show off his brand new knowledge on humans and their lives to anyone in the saloon who's around to listen, all direct from a reliable and wonderful source!

💛 But all of this very obviously obsessive behaviour can only go on for so long before the members of his gang or even Ceroba start to point out how... Weird he's been acting ever since he found you.

💛 He tries to dismiss them. He just cares about you! You're special and he has taken a really strong liking to you. You're like… His partner. Yeah.

💛 So why does he keep you so confined? Well, you're human! Any other monster outside this town finds you and you'll very likely get captured and sent to king Asgore, who will kill you and add your SOUL to the amount needed to break the barrier.

💛 That is if you aren't hurt or killed by an aggressive monster before that even gets to happen.

💛 The others can't really argue about that, much to their frustration, but still point out that he's being overbearing and overprotective.

💛 He ignores them for the most part. Or plays it off, as he usually does. C'mon, the town has been so much more lively since you got here! Why think about all that depressing stuff when we could be having fun and distracting ourselves?

💛 Still, part of him knows it's wrong to keep you here.

💛 Especially when you come to him asking when you can leave. Reminding him that if you managed to get all the way out from the Ruins up until this town, it means that you can handle yourself despite not really being a fighter. And you want to go home.

💛 He feels his heart twist everytime you say that. Home. The guilt instills itself, but it doesn't stop him.

💛 Because... This is your home now, right?

💛 It's selfish, yes, but he doesn't want you to leave. He's grown attached. And he's also grown terrified you're going to end up hurt, or much, much worse.

💛 Thinking about you being gone from his sight makes his hand shake over the holster of his gun.

💛 So you can't leave.

💛 The town is locked up and you're both figuratively and literally tied to him most of the time, anyway.

💛 You're staying.

💛 You're part of his gang, after all. You're supposed to stick together, through thick and thin.

#tw yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere starlo #yandere starlo x reader #yandere undertale yellow #yandere undertale yellow x reader #tw violence #tw imprisonment

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rorywritesjunk · 1 year ago

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Master Post

Hullo! I am Rory. I write about Buggy from One Piece and One Piece Live Action. I decided to cobble a list of things. Unless otherwise specified, the fics can be read as either Anime Buggy or Live Action Buggy. Also I really like using song lyrics as titles so that's a thing. (Also my main account is @thehohwitch)

Requests are open as of 8/16/24!

Rules: No s-xual assault, *ncest, cheating, or age big age gaps (at least within a five year difference) things like that. I primarily write F reader with Buggy but I'm happy to write male as well, as well as nonbinary and trans. I don't do descriptions unless asked. I will also write for girl Buggy, just ask!

Also, if I am not vibing with a request, I will decline it, however I will also give it up to three attempts before deciding on it.

Also, please do not message me asking me to commission you for art. It is uncomfortable. I'm a friendly person but that is a boundary I don't want crossed. Works are under the cut! (Updated 6/17/24)

For Chapter Fics, please go here! *Fics in that link feature my OCs Sunny, Cupcake, and Birdie, as well as anything that is several chapters.

For one-shots, look below the cut!

Buggy is the Ultimate Girl Dad Headcanons Headcanons pt 1 Headcanons pt 2 (More indepth) Headcanons pt 3 (More!) Lil Buggy's Big Adventure (One-shot) One Shots "Pampering Buggy" PG-13 A fic of you pampering Buggy after he has a frustrating day.

"I won’t treat you like you’re oh so typical" Soft R Buggy wakes you up to help him with his makeup and he sometimes get grabby.

"All I dream of lately is how to get you underneath me" Soft R, sequel to "...oh so typical" It was Buggy’s turn to do your makeup.

"I will never ask you for anything, Except to dream sweet of me" PG-ish Look, everyone has some kind of secret. You just didn’t want Buggy to find this one out. "We’ll cry later or cry now, but baby, Heartbreak feels so good" PG-13ish Buggy messes up, there’s a fight, and he realizes how much you mean to him.

"So let’s set out to sea, love, ‘cause you are my medicine" PG-13ish Buggy has another frustrating day so you cook him some comfort food.

"I have seen no other Who compares with you" PG-13. Buggy decides you need your own ‘look’.

"best be prepared to get all that you bargained for" PG to PG-13. Buggy isn’t used to the gentle touch you give him since you joined his crew three months ago.

"there’ll be space for you always in my harmony" PG. Buggy finds out you have a hidden talent. "Home is wherever I’m with you" PG-13ish. You wanted to keep your relationship a secret but Buggy just wants you to join his crew.

"And all of my wildest dreams They just end up with you and me" PG. Richie is a pretty boy, yes he is, but so is Buggy. "I know it’s just a number but you’re the eighth wonder" R-ish. Buggy loves that you have a pair of glasses for every day of the week. "breathe the freezing crystal air, watch my baby crack a smile" G-PGish. You and Buggy agreed on exchanging just one gift for the Winter Solstice, but he’s a pirate and doesn’t follow the rules.

"Suppose I never ever let you Kiss me so sweet" PG-13ish Your healing powers are limited to one person a day but that doesn’t keep Buggy from demanding you heal him. "Dancing kisses on my cheek, it’s the wonders that I seek" PG-13 Buggy just wanted your birthday to go smoothly.

"So hold my hand, I’ll walk with you my dear" PG-13ish It’s the three year anniversary since everything changed in Buggy’s life for the worst.

"Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen" PG-13 You decide to ask Buggy an important question but he has major doubts. "Close my eyes for a while Force from the world a patient smile" PG Buggy says something he regrets to his older sister.

"I don’t blame you for being you But you can’t blame me for hating it". PG. A prank goes wrong, punishment laid out, and an accidental first kiss all in one day for Buggy. (pt 1)

"And I’m just the boy who’s had too many chances" PG. You and Buggy are finding out that becoming a teenager is absolutely terrible. (pt 2, sequel to "I don't blame you")

NSFW One Shots MDNI!

"I’m aiming for full control of this love" NC-17. Buggy has a fantasy that you decide to try involving Mihawk and Sir Crocodile.

"Like lighting when I’m swimming in the sea" R. Buggy never made time for sex until he met you well into his 30’s.

"You’re the only thing I wanna touch" NC-17. Buggy only comes up for air every so often and it’s a beautiful sight.

"You’ve got to promise not to stop when I say when" NC-17. Buggy’s been a bit of a brat today and you’ve had enough. "The stroke of your fingers The scent of your lingers" NC-17. You meet Alvida and get a bit of a crush, and Buggy is a rather supportive boyfriend with that. "If my velocity starts to make you sweat Then just don’t let go" NC-17. Buggy asks to try something new and you’re onboard with it.

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vxperorchist · 7 months ago

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Hello, I hope you're well and having a good day. I saw you're taking requests so I was wondering if I could ask for kazuha x fem reader angst? Like reader asks for a break up because she never felt good enough for him and the gossip of other people telling her she's too ugly and pathetic to be with someone like kazuha brings her to the realization that she's holding him back from being with a beautiful and perfect woman like lumine that he deserves to have so she wants to set him free?

Sooo this is a stupid request but ty if u feel up to writing it.

p.s I love your writing.

Ahhh thank you so much for requesting! This request is not stupid at all, and I love the way you're thinking! Plus, I'm also a big Kazuha lover so who am I to say no to writing for him.... I originally wanted to make this a happy ending of some sort but then i was like no i want to keep it sad, so I kinda made it both. It can be interpreted by the reader 😉. (Forgive me if this is not very good, I don't write angst very often, but I am always so down to attempt it)

Unfit for you. (Kazuha x Fem! Reader)

Warnings: Being insulted, no serious warnings.

Genre: Angst

From the beginning, you realized what you were getting yourself in to, you just didn't realize it would be this messy.

Kazuha was known in various places, who couldn't know him? He was everywhere at once, whether it was physically or tapping in through the wind, a bit of him remained everywhere, and he took a little bit of everywhere with him.

When the two of you met, you clicked immediately. Wherever he went, you followed. Wherever you went, he followed closely behind as well.

With that travelling, you learned his and shared his experiences. He had his fair share of getting hit on, but can you really blame them? He'd brush it off, ignoring or politely turning girls down, but you couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealolousy.

It's not that he made you feel insecure in a relationship, it's the fact that you felt like you were holding him back. You had voiced your concerns plenty of times, and he reassured you each time that you were more than enough for him.

With each lingering glare every young girl gave him, you started to believe him less and less. He was strong, talented, and free. He was everything everyone wanted, including you.

He couldn't help but be kind and gentle to everyone who came along, it was something you adored about him so much. Lumine had been present in both of your lives for a time, you would occasionally see her around, but she never stayed for long. She was so similar to Kazuha.

You felt a twist in your stomach as she greeted Kazuha as you stood to the side. "Kazuha!" Paimon greeted enthusiastically, hovering circles around her travelling companion. "Hello there, you two, it's been a while since we've last met." He greeted in return, giving a friendly smile to the two of them.

You zoned out of their conversation; it was for your own good and sanity. Lumine left after a few hours of staying in the area. You didn't have a clue what she was there for, and you didn't really have the curiosity to know.

Kazuha came back to you after the day, laying in your shared bed with you. This was the best part of each day, coming back to him and letting all your problems drift away.

He held you in his arms, but the problems didn't drift away with sleep this time. This time, it lingered.

You awoke, and he was gone once more. You decided to help along the ship today, as later today was departure day. You greeted Beidou, helping pack things up and shoving them into the corresponding compartments.

"Y/n, you been hearin the rumors recently?" You turned your head to the captain. "Huh?" You didn't indulge in the drama of the nation you were staying in; it was always temporary. You didn't care nearly enough to worry about who said what, or who fought who in the nation. You wouldn't remember these people in week.

That was until you would always remember them. "Apparently Kazuha's popular amongst the cities here, everybody's talking about him. I even heard he was single through one rumor, so I wanted to check in on you."

You frowned. You thanked Beidou for telling her and reassured her that the two of you were indeed still together and happy.

He was happy at least. You felt yourself shattering with every rumor. You heard more and more about it as you were packing up. Another member of the crew told you about stuff she heard in the city. She told you that she overheard a group of girls talking about "Kazuha's girl" and how she was unattractive amongst the culture there.

It was starting to hit you now, every new nation came with new rumors, new discussion, more hate towards you. You who did nothing to the people there.

What could you do differently? Your clothes? Your hair? How you presented yourself?

"Kazuha, talk to me please." You paused him as he was walking off the ship, into the next nation you had touched port in.

"What seems to be the issue?" He watched you with the same gentle eyes he always looked at you with.

"We've barely talked. People think we aren't dating anymore."

"Really? Thats quite an assumption people make about us without knowing anything." He dismissed the idea entirely.

You gave up on the idea of trying to bring up the rumors to him, and how much it was affecting you. You knew he loved you, but he wouldn't address this idea. It was simply his mindset, an unshakeable mindset.

He thought the rumors meant nothing, however he wasn't the target of the gossip. Even then, he thought the rumors shouldn't effect you, because he loved you.

After months of putting up with new rumors and new insults thrown at you, you decided to bring it up to Kazuha one last time. You wouldn't beg or ask him any longer to change, because he shouldn't have to change for you. You loved him for him, and wanted him to prosper with someone who wouldn't need him to change. Someone who was more similar to him, someone like Lumine.

You had went into the city this time with him. He didn't ask you to, but you felt this was the best time to let him down.

You stopped at a bridge to overlook some water, you told him each rumor and insult that had been thrown at you as of the last few months. He did nothing but listen, something he was so good at.

You told him you wanted to let him go. He was free in all other aspects, except romantically. Romantically, he was tied down to you.

"Kazuha, I won't keep you. You are someone who prides himself on freedom, and I'm the only one holding you back from that. You deserve more, you deserve better than me. Someone who travels like you, someone who seeks the thrill and wind like you do. I can't offer those things, and I won't make you change so I can understand you."

You let your fingertips fall from his hand, offering him a last gentle smile.

"If I didn't want anything tying me down, I would have cut the rope that ties me a long time ago. Every wanderer needs a place they can come back to no matter where they are, and you were that place for me."

The wind picked up between you two and he brushed the side of your arm with his tainted hands.

#kaedehara kazuha #kazuha x reader #genshin impact #OrchistList #Genshin impact Kazuha #genshin angst #kazuha #kazuha genshin impact

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buffkitties · 4 months ago

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People who think that Nanami and Komaeda hate each other are genuinely so... Confusing? I don't get it. They're friends.

Nanami is openly kind to him, and out of everyone, she and Hinata are the ones who treat him with the most respect... She's caring and understanding, and she makes sure that he feels like a part of the group, too. In the anime, they actually seem rather comfortable and close, too, even if they aren't like best friends.

Also, if Komaeda hated her, he wouldn't have been affected by her death as much as everyone else. He became a remnant just like everybody else did because it hurt him just like it hurt everyone else. She mattered to everyone.

Komaeda isn't hated by everyone either. They do try to be friendly. They just don't understand him, and they all have a difficult relationship with him. I think it's more that they're uncomfortable around him because he can get rather unsettling with how he talks to and about them. They try. I mostly just blame Kodaka for making them treat Komaeda so weirdly sometimes because he wrote him in an ableist way.

As for the Nanami and Komaeda thing, I blame the ship discourse. I don't think Hinanami should be romantic because their friendship is a very important part of the plot, and their platonic relationship is much more important than some fandom drama. Hinata and Nanami's friendship is a precious thing to me, and I wish it lasted longer, and they could have played one more game together.

The people who say that Hinata can't love Komaeda fully because he didn't move on from Nanami make me so annoyed. He wasn't interested in her romantically, and he had already moved on. He's the one who's helping everyone move on, too. He said so himself, and it is because he didn't want to let Nanami's death mean nothing or go to waste after she was sacrificed for selfish plans. He didn't want to forget her either, and he loves and cares for Komaeda.

That being said, I believe that Nanami would actually be really happy for them if they ever decided to actually become a couple. It would most likely not happen so easily, even in non-despair universes, but I think the way she would react is an adorable thing to imagine.

Since I'm talking about her: She cares for every one of her classmates and she considered Hinata her classmate and friend just like everybody else. The way she spoke to him, the way she never saw him for talent, just for the person he was... She truly cared about him, and to think that she looked for him in their meeting spot for so long, just to find out he became a person that didn't even recognise himself hurts. Nobody told her anything about him. He just disappeared. The fact that she recognised him immediately and that when she heard about the human experimentation and the protests, all she wanted to know if Hinata was okay makes me sad.

Hinata, you never needed to change. You were already loved the way you were. I wish you could have seen that for yourself and that the school didn't exploit you in such a way. I'm sorry that you were put in such a harsh position, where you had to abandon your dreams because you didn't have a talent or choose a world in which you weren't even yourself because your family couldn't pay for the fee that the school used for the very experiment you were hurt in.

#chiaki nanami #nagito komaeda #sdr2 #hajime hinata

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honeys-hotties · 2 years ago

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Just Business (Mapi Leon x fem!Reader)

Got a fabulous request about a businesswoman reader who is accused of being a golddigger by the team, and I juts kind of ran with it! Fyi the team are pretty mean in the beginning, especially Ingrid, but don't come at me please! I love Ingrid, she's amazingly talented! Anyways, I was so stressed and had a little bit of a writer's block but these requests have been so incredibly helpful, so keep 'em coming! Love you all endlessly<3

Word count; 3.5k

“Five more minutes” I groan into Mapi’s shoulder. She chuckles into my hair, her grip on my waist loosening as she reaches to turn off her alarm. “Sorry mi amor, I have to get ready extra early for the match today, Alexia is stressed and I promised I would do some extra warmups with her today, plus she wants me to come over and watch some film of the other team before we go to the stadium.”

I sigh, sitting up in bed, letting the covers fall down my body. “And there’s nothing I could do to convince you to stay?” I ask shifting slightly towards her.

She smirks, moving to stand over me at the end of the bed. “There’ll be plenty of time for that later. Besides, you have to get ready for work.”

I sigh dramatically, reaching for one of Mapi’s hoodies to pull on. “I run the whole company, they could survive without me for one day.”

“While I’m sure that’s true, my team needs me. Te amo, princesa. I’ll see you at the game.” She kisses me firmly, and I sigh.

“Love you too. I can’t wait for the game! Tell Alexia I say hi!” Mapi nods, smiling, and grabbing her game bag and heading for the front door. I sigh and walk to the kitchen to brew some coffee, before pulling out my laptop to check some work emails before I get ready.

I founded my company, Herstory, when I was nineteen. It soon became one of the largest worldwide media companies, focused on giving voice to powerful women who were often minoritized in favor of their male counterparts. The company had done extremely well and I, as a result, had carved out a fabulous life for myself. However, I refused to let the money take over my life and had tried to live as normally as possible. I didn’t even fully reveal everything to Mapi for the first few months of us knowing each other, and she only put the pieces together after seeing an interview I had done online.

Mapi and I had been dating for the past two years, and they had arguably been the best two years of my life. We had managed to keep our relationship on the down low, only letting our closest friends and family know, which ended up working out absolutely perfectly. Well, almost perfectly. For some reason that I couldn’t seem to fathom, Mapi’s friends and teammates seemed to despise me. I had first met them six months after Mapi and I had begun dating after she invited me to a party the team was having. She was so excited, telling me how much I would love every single one of the girls she considered family and how they couldn’t wait to meet me, her “stunning and brilliant” girlfriend. I had been thrilled that, even though we were choosing to keep the relationship private, Mapi was so happy to introduce me to her friends, and being a little bit of a football fan myself, I couldn’t wait to meet the amazing Barcelona team. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The night had started out okay, and everyone seemed really friendly. I was sitting next to Mapi, with Ingrid on my right and Alexia, Claudia and Patri across from me.

“I’m going to get a drink,” Mapi had announced to the table, before turning to me. “Mi amor, what do you want?”

I pointed to my half empty glass on the table. “A refill would be amazing, thank you baby.” She smiled, grabbing my glass and walking towards the bar. Watching my girlfriend walk away, I had missed the glance Ingrid had shot Patri, but when I turned back everything seemed normal.

“That’s a really cool tattoo!” Alexia said, gesturing to the tattoo on my shoulder blade that had been revealed when I turned to watch Mapi, the open back of my dress showing off the ink that Mapi had done a couple of weeks prior.

“Thank you!” I said. “Mapi did it a couple of weeks ago, she’s so talented I swear! Her work is absolutely stunning.”

This time, I definitely didn’t miss the looks of a few of the girls at the table, but I brushed them off.

“So, what is it exactly you do for work?” Ingrid asked, turning to look at me.

“I actually have my own business!” I said proudly. I can’t help it, I’m constantly in shock of how lucky I’ve been to be able to do what I love. However, the team seemed less than impressed.

“That’s…really interesting,” Claudia said, before whispering something to Alexia next to her. Alexia laughed quietly before, nudging Claudia with her elbow.

“Yeah, that sounds fun.” Patri said, glancing at Ingrid who had a little smirk on her face.

“You must work really hard, you poor thing,” Ingrid said in a sickly sweet voice. “I can’t imagine having to run my own business, especially when it’s so hard to accomplish much when you put in so much effort.”

The girls at the table around me snickered, and I could feel my face grow hot. “Um, actually-” I started, but before I could finish Mapi sat back down beside me. “Here’s your drink, gorgeous.” She said, setting the glass down in front of me. I kissed her cheek in thanks before turning back to the table. I started to say something, but before I could get the words out, Alexia interrupted me, asking Mapi something about their upcoming match. Throughout the night, I kept quiet, leaning into Mapi’s side and trying not to make eye contact with the girls around me. I couldn’t understand what I’d done wrong, but I felt like I was back in high school, hiding from the popular crowd that would always make fun of me. By the time we got back to Mapi’s apartment that night I was on the verge of tears. She took me in her arms, sensing that something was wrong but that I wasn;t ready to talk about it. We stood in her apartment for who knows how long, me crying quietly into her button-up while she just held me. That’s one of my favorite things about Mapi (I could never just pick one). She seems to know what I need without me ever having to say anything. It’s like she can read my mind, and I hers.

Finally releasing me, she gently gripped my waist with one hand and lifted my chin to look her in the eyes. “Want to tell me what’s wrong, bebe?” she asked.

I nodded, wiping the last few tears from my eyes. “I just have this horrible feeling that your friends hate me, and I don’t know why.” I whispered, before lowering my eyes again.

She gently raised my chin again, staring into my eyes with her piercing ones. “I’m sure that’s not true, maybe they were just tired? It’s been a long week, and I don’t think anyone could ever dislike you. You’re the most brilliant, funny, wonderful, kind, smoking hot woman I’ve ever known, and they would be foolish to not see this.”

I smile up at her, my beautiful beautiful girlfriend. Her tough exterior can be misleading, but Mapi is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. “I’m so lucky to have you in my life, Maps. I love you.” I tell her, kissing her softly.

“I’m the lucky one,” she assures me. “Now go change, I’ll run us a bath, and then we can watch some TV with Bagheera.” She reaches down to grab the cat that had been threading itself through our legs, kissing his head before placing him on the couch.

I smile, walking towards her bedroom. How did I get so lucky?

I finish getting ready for work, before grabbing my keys and my bag with the clothes I’ll wear to the game. I don’t have time to come home after work, so I had packed everything I needed in my bag the night before. On the way to work, I listen to a playlist Mapi and I had made one Saturday with all our favorites, thinking about the day ahead. Work would be easy enough, I had a couple of meetings with some division leaders within the company, and a longer conference with a few of the women we were working with to get their stories into the world. I love my job, so every day brings me joy, but days like this are my favorite. Days when I get to listen to the stories of some of the most incredible women in the world and help them share their voices. Plus, I get to go see my amazing girlfriend play professional football later, which is a bonus. The only thing I wasn’t looking forward to was interacting with the team, who had continued to be increasingly passive-aggressive towards me. Mapi assured me they were just protective, but it seemed like something much more. However, I had yet to confront anyone about it, instead choosing to focus solely on my girlfriend.

The day passes quickly, and soon enough it’s time to get ready for the match. I change into my Mapi kit, the special one she had made for me that has the date we first met printed on the hem, as well as a number of small hearts hidden among the fabric. Discreet enough that most people wouldn’t notice, but we both knew where they were. I put on the necklace and earrings Mapi had gotten me for my birthday a few weeks before (she had gone all out for the celebration, despite my repeated insistence I didn’t need anything, and I honestly loved her for it), before applying some light makeup and heading to the stadium. I showed my pass at the front desk, and was led to the family and friends section in time to see my girlfriend and her team take the pitch. The game passed in a blur, Barcelona scoring three times in the first half. Coming into the second half, Barcelona hits the ground running, scoring within the first two minutes. This seems to anger the opposing team, and they start to play dirtier. Tackles are flying, and in the chaos Alexia goes for a wide shot, which is ultimately deflected by the opposing goalie. Mapi lines up near the goal for the corner, and once the ball is in motion she times a stunning header perfectly, sending the ball into the back of the net. I jump to my feet, screaming along with the crowd. Mapi blows a kiss in my direction, before being swarmed by her teammates.

The rest of the game passes quickly, Alexia and Patri both scoring before full time is called. When the final whistle blows, I cheer along with the crowd as the team takes a victory lap, stopping to chat with fans along the way. As the people in the stands start to leave, I make my way down towards the pitch. Mapi meets me at the barricade, and helps me onto the pitch. Once next to her, I launch myself into her arms, my legs wrapping around her waist as she hugs me tightly. “Amazing goal, amor” I tell her, as she discreetly kisses my neck before setting me back down.

“It was for you” she assures me, before wrapping her arm around my waist and dragging me towards the rest of the team. I greet her teammates, the women giving me lackluster nods before returning to their own conversations.

“Amazing goal, Alexia!” I tell the brunette next to me. She turns to look at me, giving me a tight smile. “Gracias” she responds, before pointedly turning back to Jenni who was standing on her other side.

“That’s a pretty necklace,” Ingrid said sweetly, gesturing to the one dangling from my neck. “Where did you get it?”

“I got it for her,” Mapi said proudly. “A gem for my gem.” I blushed, curling into her to hide my warm face, laughing slightly at her joke. I however, didn’t miss Ingrid rolling her eyes and looking sharply at Patri.

“Did Mapi get those earrings for you, too?” Patri asked sharply.

“Uh yeah, she did!” I answered, turning to face the woman. “How’d you know?”

She looked at me coldly. “Just a hunch” she said, before muttering something to Jenni who let out a loud laugh. Mapi, oblivious to everything, turned to look at the stands and saw a young girl holding out a sign with mapi’s name on it.

“Aww, babe, look!” she exclaimed, tugging me towards the sign. “Let’s go say hi!”

I pushed everything from my mind and focused on Mapi’s interaction with the young fan. She was so attentive and kind, and watching her with the young girl couldn’t help but make me think of a future with her, and maybe a little kid of our own.

“Hey, hermosa,” Mapi said to me, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Would you mind grabbing my warmup from the girls over there so I can change into something after I give this chica my kit?”

“Of course not!” I tell her, smiling at the little girl who looked like she was about to pass out at the idea of getting Mapi Leon’s kit. “I’ll be right back!”

I jog over to the team, who is standing huddled in even closer than before. As I approach, I hear Ingrid’s angry voice.

“-and we have to say something! This has gone on for long enough, I can’t watch her stay with that gold digging bitch any longer!”

I freeze. Inching closer to the group, they thankfully don’t seem to see me.

“Come on Ingrid, is she really that bad?” I hear another voice, belonging to Marta. “She seems to make Mapi really happy, and she honestly seems like such a sweet girl. I think you are too harsh on her.”

My blood runs cold. Me? A golddigger? I would laugh if I didn’t feel like bursting into tears.

“I think we know exactly how she’s making Mapi happy” Jenni bites out, and the girls laugh.

“Honestly, I think we need to tell Mapi sooner rather than later, it’ll help her in the long run” Alexia says, and as most of the girls agree, I clear my throat.

It’s almost comical, they way they all turn to face me. Alexia’s face drops, as do the faces of most of the other girls.

I paste on a fake smile. “Have any of you seen Mapi’s warm up jacket?” I ask. “She wants to give her kit to that little girl over there and asked me to come find the jacket for her.”

Wordlessly, Sandra hands me Mapi’s jacket. I mutter a thank you before turning to walk towards my girlfriend. I pause for a moment, then turn back around.

“Just for the record, not that it matters, but just so you all know, I’m most certainly not a golddigger. None of you even know me, not really, but the fact that this is the conclusion that you have jumped to breaks my heart. Especially because it seems to be the reason you've treated me so horribly. If you really cared about Mapi like you say you do, you would have made an effort to get to know her girlfriend instead of jumping to ridiculous accusations and high school mean girl actions.”

Ingrid scoffs. “You are a golddigger!” she shouts. “Mapi is constantly buying things for you, paying for you, and we all know you’re just using her for her money! You’ll drop her the second you get a chance and we are not about to let that happen!”

Looking at Ingrid and the team standing around her, I break. The tears start to fall, slowly at first, then all at once, and I run off of the pitch. I run off so quickly that I don’t see Mapi, who had finished with the fan and found another hoodie to wear, walking up beside the team. Ingrid had been yelling so loudly she had heard the entire speech, and she was now standing beside the team, anger taking over every feature on her face.

“What the hell did you just say to my girlfriend?” she shouts at Ingrid, the taller girl spinning to face her.

“All of you! What is wrong with you? She is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and you have all been treating her horribly!”

“We are only trying to look out for you,” Alexia says, approaching Mapi. “We don’t want you to get used or for your heart to get broken.”

Mapi backs away from Alexia. “She makes more money than I do!” she shouts. “Her business is huge! And if any of you had taken the time to get to know her, you would know that.”

One by one, the faces of everyone on the team fall. “What?” Patri asks, hoarsely.

“I can’t believe all of you. You may have just ruined the best thing in my life. I hope you’re all proud of yourselves.” Mapi says, a tear falling.

Alexia looks at her friend, then back at her team. Instantly, she knows they have to go into damage control mode. If Mapi was crying, they had really fucked up. Mapi never cried, especially not around them.

Alexia gently approached Mapi, putting her arms around the shorter girl’s shoulders. “How can we make this right?” she asked.

Back at my apartment, I changed into an old shirt of Mapi’s and a pair of shorts before grabbing a tub of ice cream and sitting down on the couch, where I planned to spend the rest of the night watching television and crying. However, my wallowing was cut short. After only two episodes of Friends, there was a knock at my door. Assuming it was Mapi, I stayed where I was. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, but most of all I didn’t want to get up. I figured Mapi would unlock the door in a minute with her key, so I stayed where I was. There was another knock, before the door opened. I sighed, pausing the television, but not turning around.

“Mapi, I’m really not in the mood to talk right now.”

“It’s, um, not Mapi.” a voice said. I turned around in shock, and saw Alexia standing by the door, the rest of the team visible behind her. I stood up, walking towards the team.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked. “And how did you even get in?”

“Mapi gave us her key,” Ingrid spoke up. “She’s on her way, but she wanted to give us a chance to apologize before she got here.”

“We can leave though, if you want?” Alexia said. “We just really wanted to tell you how sorry we are. We never meant for things to end up like this, we just got carried away in trying to protect our friend. But instead, you got hurt, and we don’t know what we can do to make it up to you.”

My eyes move over the rest of the team, and I’m shocked to find tears on Claudia’s face. Patri looks just as miserable, and Marta looks furious with her team, as does Sandra.

“I, I don’t really know what to say.” I stammer out.

“You don’t have to say anything, if you don’t want to,” Ingrid assures me. “But we brought food and games, we thought maybe we could have a game night, or maybe a movie night?”

I sigh slightly, before smiling a little. “That sounds really nice,” I say. “Come on in!”

I can hear the sigh of relief breathed from practically everyone, and they make their way into my apartment. Alexia, Marta, Jenni and Sandra carry a number of bags and follow me to the kitchen where they start pulling out containers and boxes of food to set up. The others start setting up games in the living room, and someone obviously brought a speaker because music starts playing. I smile, looking around my house, and almost miss the knocking coming from the front door. I open it to see Mapi, holding a bouquet and looking adorable in a pajama onesie I had gotten her as a joke (I have a matching one in my closet). She peers into the apartment, and, seeing the girls behind me, breathes a huge sigh of relief. I pull her into a tight hug, and she kisses me softly.

“I’m so, sorry sorry bebe,” she says into my hair, pulling me even tighter into her embrace. “I had no idea what was going on, but I’m so happy we sorted everything out and I can spend the night with my favorite girls.”

I grin, and, grabbing her larger hand in mine, drag her into the house.

The night is amazing, and, as Alexia assures me, the first of many. She pulls me aside later to apologize, as do Ingrid, Patri, Claudia and Jenni. It may have been a rocky start, but I can tell that these amazing women will turn out to be some of my closest friends in the world, and they prove themselves time and time again in the years to come, how much they have changed and how much they love Mapi and I.

#mapi leon x reader #mapi leon #woso #futbol #espwnt #fc barcelona #woso imagine #spain #alexia putellas #ingrid engen #patri guijarro #claudia pina #fic request

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