#you have no idea how badly i wanna delete that account some days. i figured out you can download a backup of the entire thing

[trifoliumaries]

I need to get back with it in learning and practicing html/css and eventually javascript. I love my little carrd alot (i worked very hard on it!!) but that site is so goddamn limiting in comparison to what you can do with the raw shit, and I wanna have my own little hub without any real limitations on what I can post and how I can present it

[bigilante]

〖 her best friend ❣ zendaya 〗

「 zendaya x gender-neutral!reader 」 ┅ 「 2.7k words 」

: a.n : back at it again with the unsolicited fics :)) i hope you guys like it 👉🏼👈🏼

⤷ : prompt : separated forcefully or for reasons you can’t control, run into each other again years later on accident.

“Do you think they’ll ever stop making headlines calling us ‘very good friends’?” You halfheartedly laughed at yet another Instagram post by some magazine that showed you and Zendaya out and about LA. “Like, the minute you hang out with any guy they’re like, ‘Oh! Date alert!’ But I’m just your ‘best friend’” You were ranting now, unable to hide the annoyance you felt.

“Why does it matter what they say?” Zendaya quizzed, her hands playing with the waist string of your sweats. She looked up at you from her slumped down position on the sofa, her faint frown making you sigh.

“Because... don’t you feel is a bit homophobic?” You wondered, placing your phone face down on top of your stomach to give her your full attention. The brunette just shrugged nonchalantly and you let out another sigh picking your phone again to close the app, “I’m gonna head out.” It was best to just leave then, you didn’t want to get in a stupid argument with her not before you were set to leave for New York the very next morning. You began to incorporate but Zendaya’s hands gripped your thighs keeping them draped over hers.

“Y/n, come on.” She said, gorgeous hazel eyes pleading at you. What exactly? You had no idea but for a second, you were about to give in however a loud ding coming from your phone stopped you. Your eyes scanned the screen and the reminder that had popped up read ‘PACK ! 4 ! N Y C !’, you sent her an apologetic glance before getting off the sofa, gathering your stuff and petting Noon goodbye.

Zendaya had stood up from the sofa too, watching your every move intently, probably trying to figure out if you were upset with her. The truth was, you didn’t know if you were upset with her or with the media, it was possible that both had a little part in your now sour mood. “See you next week, best friend. Love you.” You joked before swinging the front door open and leaving. The week was going to feel like a month, you knew, but the hope that making that simple joke followed by the declaration would ease things up was strong.

But what did hopefulness ever bring if not disappointment and heartache?

Seeing medium-quality paparazzi pictures of your girlfriend as soon as you landed from a five-hour flight wasn’t exactly the way you wanted to be welcomed to New York. You sat quietly in the back of an Uber trying not to cry as your eyes stared at the images on your phone. A series of pictures of Zendaya and Tom leaving her house, —they must had been taken that morning while you were on your way to the airport— the further you scrolled down the Twitter trends the more you felt like throwing up. Them in his car. Tom’s hand reaching for Zendaya’s jaw. Both leaning in. Kissing. Laughing.

It felt like a punch to the face, it was the worst feeling you had ever endured and the people that caused it were the last you would’ve thought could ever dare to hurt you. Your trembling hands fumbled with the settings on your account, privating it and blocking her and Tom, doing the same with Instagram followed by their numbers on your phone. It felt like doing a cleansing, the pressure in your chest easing only minimally when you locked your phone and looked out into the running city. You wanted to scream and cry, break stuff, throw your phone away and not show to work, you just wanted to go hide in your Airbnb for the rest of the week and pretend you and Zendaya never happened.

The reality was that you two had happened and it was far too hard to pretend it didn’t, your heart ached both physically and metaphorically and you hated every second of it. For that week you spent in New York no one shut up about the photos, every person you worked with had that hot, brand new ‘goss’ about the pair that had hurt you so badly.

You sat in the quiet living room of the apartment you had been living in whilst in the big city, laptop sitting in front of you as you cancelled your flight back to LA, changing the tab to the Airbnb’s one to pay for a few more days. You had been holding yourself together the whole time you were there, work keeping you busy and sleeping pills doing their magic at the end of the day but it could only go so far. Glassy, stinging eyes stared blankly at the empty inbox of your email, the cursed images projecting over the blank space and you just weren’t strong enough anymore, you couldn’t, so you cried and choked and screamed until your throat and eyes were sore; until your whole body was drained of every bit of energy.

Little by little you were sweeping your life clean of her, clearing out your phone’s camera roll, changing your number. Deleting social media was a big no for your job so filtering everything and anything that had to do with them was the only option, that and spending little to no time online. You had stopped to think one night of the what-ifs of the situation, you were aware that Zendaya’s publicist wasn’t so happy about you and her dating publically and Tom’s was obsessed with boosting the Spider-man movies at all cost, still, giving you a heads up about it would had been the right thing to do.

For a year and a half, you made yourself busy, going back and forth wasn’t something you enjoyed but it worked to avoid unwanted visits and accidental encounters. Enough time had passed, you thought as you stopped booking in so many clients across the country and settled back in your LA home. “You know what? I could go for a thick, sugary milkshake, right now.” Naomi told you as you put down your half-empty box of fried noodles on the coffee table.

“Are you serious?” You asked incredulous receiving an enthusiastic nod from your friend. “Naomi, we just had Chinese and you wanna wash it down with a milkshake?” She rolled her eyes at you when you pointed it out.

“Fine, what about Bubble U? Bubble tea is Chinese isn’t it?” She offered, her question prompting you to send her an unamused glare. “Yep, Bubble U it is, then!” Naomi jumped up, going straight to the door. Reluctantly you got up from the floor, groaning all the way to the door where you got ready to go out, “Come on! It’ll be fun!” She chirped while she pulled you out of the house. You hated to admit it but you had completely modified your life after the heartbreak, once you settled back home you barely left it, you didn’t attend parties unless it was for work or go out with your friends unless it was at any of their houses. You didn’t walk around the city that often anymore in fear of bumping into her.

“I miss this.” You sighed as you walked down Chinatown with your friend, the coldness of your drink pleasant against the palm of your hand. “Just walking around town.” You continued taking a sip of the milk tea.

“I still don’t get why you had to stop going out with us.” Naomi said inciting you to turn to look at her, “I mean, I know why it’s just… you didn’t have to stop.” She rephrased it giving you an apologetic glance. You knew how much your friends hated the idea of you not being able to be you after the whole thing with Zendaya and Tom happened but it was your way of coping with it and even though they didn’t agree with it, they supported you.

“Well, I’m outside now, aren’t I?” You nudged her side with your elbow making her giggle as she nudged you back. “Maybe this is me getting back to my old self.” Hope laced your every word as you looked around the busy street. The way the golden light of the setting sun washed over the buildings made the outing worth the risk.

LA was the second-largest city in the United States, with a population of nearly four million that one could think the chances of crossing paths with a lover-turned-stranger was one in millions, yet, there you were rooted to the pavement as your wide eyes stared at the tall and thin figure coming out of one of the many restaurants that dotted the street. “Come on, let’s go back.” Naomi said, placing her hand on the crook of your elbow ready to pull you out of there but something inside your chest told you to keep moving forward.

So you did, you started walking again letting your friend’s hand slip away from you. She was quick to follow, whisper-shouting at you that whatever you were doing probably wasn’t the best idea. The closer you got to her the more nervous you felt, it’s been over a year since you last saw her and god, was she even more beautiful than before; long legs clagged in camel coloured trousers, feet sporting her beloved black converse. Her top was white, a little see-through and you cursed at how much it still drove you absolutely crazy in the most irritating sense.

Curls tucked into an elastic on top of her head in a carefree and relaxed way, a few stubborn strands hanging out framing her face and gracing her neck. She was laughing loudly at something Darnell said, that laugh you had forced yourself to forget but the second it hit your ears, you realised how badly you had missed it. Then everything stopped, Naomi’s panicked telling off, Darnell’s chatting and Zendaya’s laughing. It all had stopped but the rambling around the four of you.

You stood in front of Darnell while Naomi stood in front of Zendaya, your friend’s usually amicable attitude disrupted by the scowl on her face as she glared Zendaya’s way only the brunette’s pupils were set on you with no apparent intention of averting. “It’s you,” She breathed out, hope barely perceivable in her tone. You only hummed at the observation, your eyes moving from hers down to her hands that were gripping the long lanyard that held her phone around her neck. Her nerves were evident then, the intensity with which she clutched it seemed to be draining the blood flow from her fingers. “I— How—” Zendaya tried to speak but failed, letting out a shaky breath. “How have you been?”

“Are you fucking kidding me!?” Naomi protested, you understood where your friend was coming from but you also needed that, you needed to speak to Zendaya just one more time to be able to finally let everything go. You needed her to confirm your theory just so you could move on and Darnell seemed to be on the same page as you for he stepped in between you and Naomi, throwing his arm around her shoulders to guide her away from you two. You heard her object some more but ultimately she complied and walked away.

“I’ve been fine. You?” You eventually spoke after short but agonising seconds of silence.

“I don’t know. There are good days among the terrible ones, so... fine, I guess?” She shrugged a shoulder. With a nod of your head, you looked past her over her shoulder to see a man pointing a camera at you, you were about to warn her when she began speaking again. “Y/n, I’m so sorry about—” Zendaya started but you shook your head no making her stop, you realised then that you did want to talk to her but not on the street in front of that many people and certainly not when there were paparazzi nearby.

“Heard the movie did well.” Your tongue betrayed your brain. Zendaya tried to speak once more but you cut her again. “I’m glad it did. Made it all worth it, didn’t it?” You faked a small smile nearly choking on the words, the anxious lump in your throat threatening to cut your airflow.

“No, It didn’t.” Zendaya denied taking a step closer to you forcing you to hold your breath with the sudden move. “I was a total asshole to you before you left, then Marla wanted me and Tom to do that for a while and I don’t even know why I did it.” She ranted in one breath.

“I upset you.” The statement earned you a furious head shake from the tall girl. “I did. I kept bugging you about the articles,” You carried on, inconspicuously your eyes started to line with tears. The more you talked the more you realised that maybe, just maybe there was a bit of blame in you too, however, that didn’t mean Zendaya was absolved from any. “You never said a thing to me about the stunt.”

“I felt like I didn’t need to, I wasn’t gonna do it.”

“But you did. The morning I left LA.” You mumbled, trying to hide from the second man with a camera that had appeared closer than the first.

“Fuck, I know it was a shitty thing to do and I’m sorry,” She took another small step forward.

“You always told me kissing in public wasn’t your thing.” You exposed, tears irrevocably breaking the surface tension and cascading down your cheeks. Flicking your gaze up at her you saw nothing but hurt and regret written all over her gorgeous face and your heart squeezed at the sight. She had never spoken about it and neither had you asked, you just felt it in your heart that she was scared of how the media would treat you both if they ever found out you were dating, you knew the times had changed but there were still closed-minded people that ran gossip magazines and could make your lives a living hell the moment they caught you holding hands in public or worst, kissing.

The murmuring around you increased, reminding you that you were in a very public place crying in front of your secret ex-girlfriend. “Fuck that.” Zendaya grumbled. One moment she was a small step away from you and the next her hands were cupping your face and her lips were softly pressed against yours. The action took your breath away instantly, still, you found yourself powerless against the familiar taste and feel of her and allowed her to kiss you as long as she wanted to in front of how many people she wanted to. There were yelps and gasps all around the two of you and you started to regain conscience and pulled away.

Wide, watery eyes staring up at the girl mere inches away from your face. “Th-there’s pap—”

“I don’t care.” She whispered before she captured your lips once more, this time deeper and twice as intensely as the first time. Your hands scurried to her waist, bringing her flush to your body as you kissed her back gladly, desperately wanting her lips to make the past year bleep out of your core memories.

The night went by slowly as if the universe was granting you more time to spend in the arms of the girl you loved. She never once let a second of silence go by you, filling it with a whispered apology and a kiss. You talked about everything the time you spent apart brought to both of you, she told you about firing her publicist right after the pictures came out, about how she understood why you had cut her off without any explanation and how bad both her and Tom felt with the whole thing.

Articles flooded the internet that very night as well as the next morning, however, neither of you knew of them right away for any device that could be hooked to a WiFi signal was rightfully turned off while you basked in the presence of each other under the covers of Zendaya’s bed.

“Spider-man Star Zendaya shares intense kiss with BFF, Celeb Stylist y/n l/n in the middle of Chinatown! Swipe to see the pictures!”

It might be 2021 but some things refused to change.

【 thank you so much for reading! ♡ please, consider reblogging and letting me know what you thought of this ♡ kit xx 】

[newromanticsstory]

II

This will be the last post for a bit. I have things to do this weekend and will not have the time to edit or write anything until Sunday at the earliest. I will resume my regular posting schedule on Monday.

“Have a nice night,” the girl behind the counter of The Strand Bookstore said as she slid the bag across the counter. Garrett mustered a smile and took the bag and the receipt from her. “Thanks,” he said. “And you as well.” He headed toward the door and sighed. It was going to be a long, lonely weekend again and he wasn’t looking forward to it. When he first moved to NYC, mainly because of the fact that he was going to live rent free in a building that his aunt owned, he promised himself that he would make some friends, but that never happened. It wasn’t like New Jersey where your coworkers hung out with you after work, here everyone was in a rush to go back home or back to their apartments and meet up with their friends that they had for years. It was actually kind of sad in his opinion. Garrett actually felt small for the first time in his life and was ready to go back home and start commuting again. But, a free apartment was keeping him from doing so and he knew that he would never get that nice of a place again no matter how hard he tried. As he walked down the subway and boarded the L toward the west side of the island, he glanced down at the bag of books in his hand. He would finish them by Sunday and then he would repeat the cycle again next weekend. He wished that more of the people that he worked with were more opened to hanging out, but most of them have little circles that have room for no one new.

Garrett figured that he would wait one more year, giving his sister, Becks, a chance to come in and spend the weekend with him, and then pack up his life and head back home. While he didn’t want to that, it seemed that this was going to be his only option, at least he would have friends back home, but the only problem was that he would feel like a third wheel all the time. He was the only single one out of all his friends and it was hard to go out in a group and not feel alienated. While they did call him all the time when they were in the city, he never went to hang out with them because of the fact that they never talked to him. While he would go out with one couple by himself, in a large group, it wasn’t fun. He found himself most of the time sitting in a dark corner, scrolling through his phone while everyone else was having a good time. As he passed the local bar that was two buildings away, he saw that it was empty.

“Why not,” he said to himself. “I earned that drink after what Tristan in accounting had me do whatever that was this week.” Garrett then picked up the pace and headed toward his apartment. The rain that was supposed to come in later tonight had come earlier than expected, but that wasn’t going to stop him from going out. He was glad that he was only one building away from his apartment and not six like the last time that it rained and was soaked by the time that he got home. As he entered the lobby to his building, the doorman smiled.

“Got a package for you,” he said. “I had to sign for it too. It must be something important.” He then reached down behind the desk and handed a large square package. Garrett was puzzled at first, but the he realized what it was. It was the record that he had been waiting to arrive for the past week. The shipper sure took his or her sweet time getting it here. “Thanks,” Garrett said as he took the package and then headed up stairs. He was wondering why he hadn’t gotten this yet. He totally forgot that he had won this in an auction and had paid for it everything. He was eager to see if it was in good condition as the seller said it was.

As he opened the door to his apartment, dropped his books on the floor and started to tear the brown paper package apart. Between the books that he was buying every week and his vinyl record addiction, he was starting to wonder what was going to cause him go broke first. As he opened the paper, he saw the bubble wrap that was wrapped around it as well. He knew which record it was and started to smile. He had started tracking down a first pressing of Neil Young’s Harvest months ago and while most of the ones that he had come across weren’t actually first pressings, he finally managed to find one and at a good price too. As he opened it up, he smiled. Maybe it wasn’t going to be such a lonely weekend after all. The seller was right; the condition of it was perfect. The jacket and the record, which he carefully pulled out, was perfect, as if had never been played. He was happy that the seller didn’t lie to him. He then placed the record on the table and headed out. He would listen to it later, right now he want that drink more than anything. As he glanced out the window, he saw that the rain was coming to steady, meaning that the bar would be empty. Usually if it rained, the bridge and tunnel people stayed home and went to their local watering hole instead of driving or taking the train in, meaning that the bar would be empty. Garrett pulled his door closed and then exited the building.

As he walked back up the street, he felt his phone go off. “Probably Becks,” he said to himself. His sister wanted to come in so badly, but now wasn’t the time. He didn’t want to confront her when he was this down, so maybe in a few weeks. He sighed as he walked in and saw that Al, the bartender, was staring at the TV. “Slow night,” he asked as he sat down at the end of the bar. Al turned around and smiled. He was glad to see that someone was coming in.

“Not at all,” he said. “You know that it picks up post dinner rush.” Garrett smiled. He knew that it was still early, but this might be as busy as it got in here tonight. Al then placed a drink in front of him and he pulled out a $20. “First one’s on me,” Al told him. “Then you pay.” Garrett nodded as he focused on the TV screen and started to watch the baseball game that was already four innings in. As he sat there, his phone went off again, causing Al to look over at him.

“That fire starter app finally getting you matches,” Al asked him. “I thought that you were deleting that after a week.” As Garrett snapped out of his trance, which was fine since the Yankees were up 3-1, he realized that it might be a match from Tindr. One of his friends told him that he should try it to meet people and while it seemed like a good idea, he had little luck with it. While he had a few matches, most of them flaked on him right before their dates or were no shows, which gave him little hope. Today was supposed to be the last day for it and while at lunch, he scrolled through a few girls, mostly swiping left, but as he came across this one girl, he stopped. She looked vaguely familiar, as if he had seen her somewhere before. He shrugged it off and read her profile.

Taylor Allison here, her profile started. I’m new to this and thought that I’d give it a shot. I like to sing and loudly at that. My friends say that I’m a bit of a goof ball, but I deny it. I like to travel and miss the beach house that my family had on the Jersey Shore that we had to sell when we moved to Nashville, but I now live here in NYC. I would like to go to the MoMA or the Met in NYC where I live, because every time I go, it’s either closed or too crowded. I like books and the stores that sell them. Oh and I can’t forget… I love cats.

Garrett couldn’t help but laugh. She was cute and probably way out of his league. He was sure that she would never see his request for a match, but he figured that he try anyway. But now it was different. They were actually matched and he didn’t know what to do. As he looked up at Al, he shrugged and then nodded.

“It’s a match,” Garrett told him. “But I think that she’s out of my league.” Al took his empty glass away and then refilled it just as a large group of people walked in. The dinner rush was ending and now they were looking for a place to drink.

“If you answer her,” Al said as he wiped his head, getting ready to go to work. “I’ll give you your drinks free from the rest of the night.” Garrett was shocked. There was a sign behind the bar that stated that no one would get a drink for free unless they just had a kid, but Al was the one who told him that he should be more adventurous when he first moved here and he was who told him that there are plenty of fish in the sea here, but this was crazy. Garrett glanced back down at his phone and took a deep breath.

Hey, he typed. Wanna grab dinner or a cup of coffee sometime. He hesitated for a second, but then looked at the beer and hit send. It seemed that that first pressing of Harvest and those books were going to have to wait till tomorrow