#you have been conditioned to believe about identity.. gender Just let go live laugh love fuck da world but also love da world and love your

[fearoffun]

uprooted (2022, edited 2024)

[alilbihh]

spaced out — 01

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summary: “take me to your leader.“ you couldn’t believe it. this man was otherworldly in all sense of the word. "well I hope you’re hungry, my dude, we’re going to visit the king of burgers.”

or

Planet A3022 is on the brink of extinction. with little to no females there to repopulate and its king not interested in any one of them, he assigns one of his most trusted men to retrieve a female suited to his tastes willing enough to take his hand in marriage. things go haywire once the man in question crash lands into the considerably non technological Planet EA4728 with you there as witness.

genre: fluff, humor (??), angst, highkey crack, poly!au, alien!au

pairing: alien!taehyung x reader x alien king! ??

As you let yourself into your house, unknown man at your heels, you pass by the couch where Hoseok is currently next to (canoodling) Seokjin, ready for the former's customary yells of hello little baby boo come get your kissy smooches until he, as to be expect, spots the man lazily trailing behind you, the man in question eyeing your movements as you pick up a cup and start filling it with water.

"Y/n," Hoseok starts as you purse your lips, blinking rapidly before continuing your actions, the unknown man leaned against your counter languidly watching your movements. "Who is that."

"Hello, Jinnie." you say instead, handing the stranger the cup. You try not to feel too offended when he inspects it with narrowed eyes before finally deeming it safe enough to drink, tentatively tasting a few drops with furrowed brows. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you." Seokjin says from somewhere under Hoseok, you couldn't really see. "And you?"

"Could be better, to be honest."

"That's upsetting to hear."

"Yeah." you snatch the cup from the man's hands when he continuously twists it around distrustfully, drinking the water yourself. He seems thoroughly offended.

Hoseok manages to untangle himself from the mass of limbs that is Seokjin, patting the other's chest mournfully before sitting up. He's eye to eye with the man standing in the kitchen as he stares him down, the other not intimidated in the slightest. "Y/n," your friend starts, squinting his eyes at the man. "Are you finally getting some?"

"No, god." you punch the man's shoulder lightly at that, and he breaks eye contact with the stranger in favor of grabbing at his offended shoulder. "He's a dude I found on the street."

That didn't sound right. "He's a what?!" Seokjin says from the couch, springing upwards before coming to stand beside his boyfriend. They seem like either protective dads or bodyguards at that moment, and you almost snort at the thought.

"Y/n, you know you can't just bring in people from the streets like they're stray kittens, right?" Hoseok says, crossing his arms.

"I know!" you start, indignant. "But he's... a special case."

Seokjin sighs, shoulders slumping. "Look, I know about love at first sight and all, but this is a stranger, not your soulmate-"

"He's an alien." your interruption is enough to stun them into silence, the two blinking slowly at the proclamation. You clear your throat. "I saw him fall from the sky."

"Earthling! State your gender and sexual preference!"

"what."

You're sure your mouth is hanging wide open, the offending finger pointed inches from your face only managing to confuse you even more. This man fell from the sky. You try to adjust to this arguably vital piece of information, but it seems even as the seconds tick by you can't grasp the thought that a seemingly human male could simply fall from the sky as easily as he did.

The man sighs. Brushes off nonexistent dirt from his clothes that, if not for the fact that he just fell from the sky, would probably be in perfect condition. He clears his throat, "Earthling! State your gender and-"

"No, no, I got that part," you interject, much to the disbelief of the unknown man. Should you have done that? Probably not. Who knows what this man's capable of. "I mean, like, why?"

The man scrutinizes your every move for a few seconds, squinting his eyes at you. You don't know what for, but it's better not to think about it. "Allow me to explain, human." Maybe you preferred to be called earthling, you think offhandedly. "My king is in dire need of a queen. I have been given the task to find one suitable to his tastes. If you're not interested, I can simply search elsewhere. Though if you are, your offspring will be pronounced the next leader of—"

"wait what."

The man's confident posture breaks from one second to the next, shoulders slumping as he replies between sighs. "It seems you're, to put this nicely, too stupid for this important a role."

"How was that putting it nicely?!" you're now confident enough (or maybe actually just stupid enough) to believe this man poses no threat to your safety. Whether he poses a threat to your mental health is a hard maybe, but it's nice to know you won't be dying any time soon like you originally thought.

He ignores you, suddenly taking confident strides in your direction that's enough to have you back off a bit. He stops at that, crossing his arms over his chest. "You seem trustworthy enough. Your aura says so, at least. To ensure that my identity and motives aren't discovered, I order you to take me to your home."

"HUH?"

"It's only fair." he shrugs, an awfully human action for someone so obviously not.

"That sounds like the opposite of fair!" you pull at your hair in stress, wondering what your roommate will think of your predicament (or roommates, really, since Hoseok visits enough for you to consider him a roommate. You're just waiting for Jin to bring up the inevitable talk of moving in so you can really never get the chance to use your couch ever again). Then you become even more stressed since you'd basically already unintentionally accepted this stranger's terms and conditions, even if only in your mind.

What have you done. "Can I at least know your name?"

The stranger hums at that. "Some call me sir. Second in command. One of the fiercest fighters known to planet Aether. Hyung's coffeemaker-"

"No, no," you interrupt with a snort. "I mean your name."

He considers the question for a moment. You see his shoulders slump defeatedly after a moment, and you almost laugh. It's almost as if he lost his only chance of boasting his rank to someone that didn't even understand the importance of it. "I suppose you could call me Kim Taehyung."

"Are you doing drugs?"

"What- Jin, I am not doing drugs."

The male's eyes squint at that, eyes flickering between you and Taehyung still leaning comfortably on the kitchen counter, eyeing the empty glass of water you'd drank. "..That sounds like something someone that does drugs would say."

"Oh my god. I'm not doing drugs, I saw him! He was in this metal pod thing, and it was floating off the ground! And- and look! He's, like, the hottest guy I've ever seen! No human could pull that off."

Jin interjects, clearing his throat. "Actually-"

"He's the hottest guy I've ever seen." you repeat without breaking eye contact with the oldest male.

The unknown male had only been lingering, somewhat hovering behind you, picking at the dirt in his nail beds, unfazed. You almost scoff at that; you'd be impressed with being in a different country, eyeing the sights and marveling at the smallest of things, yet this man was in a different planet and this is all he does? Your small apartment might not be much, but at least it's something.

(Jin usually doesn't really like leaving messes, which you appreciate, but Hoseok's frequent visits ruins it so it doesn't really matter).

"Speak, alien." you say in an accusatory tone, spinning on your heel to point an offending finger in his direction, much like he had when you'd first met (literally only a bit over an hour ago).

Taehyung's mouth opens slightly, as if he's refraining himself from speaking. Then after a short moment of consideration, he sighs, giving in. "You're all stupid."

The two 'Seoks gasp dramatically. "Oooh, he speaks." says a dramatic Hoseok, completely disregarding what was actually said.

"He's literally just a normal dude, stop being dramatic." Jin sighs, pinching the crease between his brows.

"I don't want to hear that from someone with a degree in theater." That earns the younger male a light smack across the head.

You can't take this anymore. "I'm taking my new alien friend and we're leaving." you exclaim as you take the hand of the alien in question, the man not questioning it as he allows you to drag him away. He's a little too trusting for your liking. Or maybe it's because he knows he can kill you in a second with laser beams shot out of his eyes or something, but you digress.

You're about to leave, the exit in sight (ignoring Hoseok's disbelieving yell of you live here!), about to gesture for the man to put on his shoes when the door slams open abruptly and in struts an overly confident Jungkook, cheeks almost as puffed out as his chest.

"Y/n! you will not believe this, actually you probably will, but I just got two free lamb skewers and got fussed over by a group of cute grannies and soccer moms. I'm practically famous now. You can catch me signing autographs while I visit Karen's six year old in the field." you're sweating as you watch Jungkook concentrate on taking off his shoes and step into his slippers, lopsided grin and all as he straightens, looks up, pauses. His unsuspecting eyes then landing on the man behind you.

He blinks. You blink back. "Jungkook."

"Y/n." he purses his lips, narrows his eyes. "Are you finally getting some?"

"Sit down." says a tired looking Taehyung.

"Uh, okay." you say in your own home, flopping down onto the couch. The supposed alien pinches the crease between his brows as Hoseok and Jin sit on either side of you, staring up at the man expectantly. Jungkook was left to stand behind the stranger, squinting his eyes at him with suspicion. Though you could see the slightest glint that always seemed to be in his eyes, intrigued at the idea that the man in front of him might actually be an alien.

That and the fact that he can't get over the thought that you “slept” with this man. "I never knew you had it in you. Just the thought of my little Y/n being a grown up..." he wipes away non existent tears from his eyes.

"I'm older than you."

"Little y/n. Sigh. It's like it was only yesterday that you fell off my roof back in Busan."

"Will you ever shut up about that?" you groan, taking a fistful of your hair in stress. You're doing that a lot today, and it doesn't seem like a good coping mechanism. "Please explain, Taehyung."

"Of course." he says before clearing his throat, looking all too calm as he crosses his arms over his chest. He takes a deep breath. "My king is in dire need of—"

"He wants me to mother his king's babies." you calmly interject over Taehyung's explanation. At the appalled look of everyone except the alien in question, you shrug. "It's not like I will! But i'm sure it won't be hard to find someone that wants to. Even though it's kind of a weird request."

"Oh, you think?!" Jin leans into you even further, his back pressing into your side, continuing to speak with increasingly dramatic hand gestures. "I'm sure we can just approach a stranger and go yeah, excuse me miss, would you like to go into space and birth some alien babies? It'll be fun! Yeah, no. This is a terrible idea."

"My boyfriend is right for once!" Hoseok says with confidence, ignoring the distant, offended yah! as he continues, "This is kinda stupid. Is this really what he wants? For us to help him look for a girl that wants to mother this guy's babies? I hate this."

"It would actually be quite an easy task, had I landed in a more advanced planet aware of my king's high status." Ouch. "And I'd like to point out that I'm not interested in searching for earthlings as potential suitors."

"What?" you mutter despite yourself, brows furrowed in confusion. "Then why'd you ask me if I was interested?"

Taehyung seems to pause at that, staring up at the ceiling in thought. "I... am not sure." you wait expectantly as he attempts to formulate a good enough reply, and when he continues he speaks through pouty lips that are barely contained. You suspect it's a nervous tic. "Your aura.. seemed familiar. Homey."

You're not quite sure what that means, nor do you know what it's like to be able to read, feel people's auras—you can't even imagine what you'd do if you could, if you walked past someone on the street and instantly knew whether or not they're dangerous—and you don't even know what he means by familiar and whether or not you should be offended, but you get flustered nonetheless.

"Can't your alien friend go look for a babysitter somewhere else?" Jungkook mutters amidst your crisis, a few tones away from sounding whiny.

"Unfortunately, no." Taehyung exclaims with a calm confidence that surprises even you before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a device that could easily be mistaken for a phone, typing something into it as you all watch with nervous anticipation. An almost holographic screen appears in front of you in perfect colors and you watch, startled, as the screen suddenly displays an all too familiar apartment complex. "This is our current location. I have it saved as an important place."

"So google maps?" Jungkook says just barely louder than a whisper, starry eyed. Looking around, you notice the men on either side of you are also watching, with as much curious awe as you.

"I also have it saved as a threat, and it could blow up at the click of a button."

And just like that, you're not too impressed anymore. "WHAT?"

"Are you crazy?!"

"I do what I must to get the job done."

"You can't get it done if you're dead, idiot." After a second or two Taehyung's eyes widen the slightest bit at that before looking away from you, as if he hadn't even considered that possibility.

"It doesn't matter, one click and you lot will live no longer."

"Blackmail. This is blackmail." Hoseok mutters and you only nod, watching as Taehyung's finger teasingly hovers over a button on his makeshift phone that makes you all yell out in protest.

"The alien stays." Mutters the alien, and you all watch, appalled, as he presses a button on the device, the screen disappearing instantly. "And you lot will help him until he finds his way home."

[lokibug]

Blinded

Pairing: Loki x Blind!Reader

Summary: Beauty and the Beast AU in which Loki is forced to stay in his Jotun form until another human loves him. He becomes a caretaker for You due to be recently permanently blind.

Warnings: Slight cursing

Song: Haunt by Echoes

A/N: Wow Guys, I never expected this story to get this much appreciation. It’s really incredible, feel free to send me any suggestions or ask to be tagged. I did my best to get you all. Be reminded I’m writing this on mobile haha I also dont own the gifs

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7| Part 8| Part 9| Part 10

This was unbelievable. From the moment they began searching, his daughter was incredibly picky with those she’s interviewed...or they were picky with her. Quickly Y/F/N stood to his feet.

“Excuse us...Mr. Laufeyson. My daughter and I must talk alone.” He interrupted quickly and ushered y/n up by her elbow.

Y/N grabbed the walking stick next to her and began putting it to use. Sliding it across the tiled floor they finally made it to the kitchen. Her father released his hand from her arm and whisper shouted, “Y/N, are you crazy?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Honey, I know you don’t have your sight so I’m telling you that this man looks insane. He’s wearing gloves. He has those doctor’s mask—“

“Surgical mask.”

“You know what I mean. And he has these things...like scars on his forehead...his skin doesn’t look...” he trailed off hoping that Loki wouldn’t hear anything as he resided in the living room.

“I get it now. Wow dad I can’t believe you’re being racist.” Y/N scoffed.

“Racist?! Y/N do you hear what I’m saying?”

“Yeah and it sounds pretty racist.” She places her hands on her hips. He shook his head and grabbed her arms.

“Listen to me, you don’t have to choose him right away. There could be more applicants.”

“Dad, no. I’m an adult now. If it wasn’t for my condition I would’ve already been gone. I’m not going to sit around and wait for someone to come around. I’m taking this in my own hands while I can.” His face softened a bit. His daughter was right, she was an adult and he could no longer shelter her. “Trust me...” she softly added a small smile appearing afterwards.

Loki shifted upon his heels as he glanced at the picture frames that littered on top of the fireplace. Photos of Y/N’s life captured into small papers. He never understood why humans did this.

I suppose anyone with the lifespan of an insect would take part in this, he thought to himself. He wondered what was so dangerous that a human could be doing to end up blind. Believing asking for help is a sign of weakness, he would soon learn the truth behind his own faulty thoughts.

Interrupting Loki’s gazing, y/n reentered the living room along side her father, “You’re hired, that is if you want the job.” Loki was slightly shocked, but not enough knowing that his words of persuasion were far superior to those around him.

“Infatuating. I accept.”

With the god accepting the job from y/n, they began the life adjustment right away. The movers had brought the few pieces of furniture from Y/N’s father’s home back into the condo that she had resided in before the incident and they brought the few things Loki had with him in the apartment that he was close to being evicted from. He allowed them to do the heavy work, gathering his belongings...all except the timer. A gold detailed hourglass that would lose tiny grains of black sand as days passed by. It now resided in the condo that he shared with y/n for a week now.

Y/N slowly walked out of her room. Upon waking up this morning, she decided she would begin familiarizing herself with the items that were in her home. Of course this was a few hours ago and she finally pulled herself out of her room. Testing herself she gently walked near the living room. Her breathing was a tad shaky due to her nerves acting up. Her lips parted she moved her hands onto the counter. Being unaware of Loki’s presence in the corner of the living room, she felt comfortable leaving herself on display. Her fingers grazed over a ceramic angel to an unlit candle. She chuckled happily as she remembered leaving these items here. Soon her fingertips touched something unfamiliar...it was cold...freezing even.

“What?...” she whispered making Loki look back up from the book he was reading. Due to being inside the home and the drapes closed, he too was on full display. His dark blue skin not covered by drug store makeup he felt more comfortable.

“Don’t touch that!” He growled, darting his red eyes towards y/n.

She yelped and quickly with drew her hand. “Loki!” She shouted angrily.

“You mortals are completely naive to the fact that you’re not the only ones who matter. Or have respect for other people’s belongings.” He grumbled now at her side. She furrowed her eyebrows, being extremely insulted.

“You mortals? And who are you to be talking to me like that? Do you even know how impolite it is to not announce yourself to a blind person?” She took her walking stick and guided herself towards the black wooden table. She leaned against it.

“Its an artifact....it...” he began trying to find ways to explain it, “it was a gift...from my mother.”

“All you had to say was to not touch it.” She said as if it were obvious.

“Yes...well then. Don’t touch it.” Loki shot back.

“Okay.” “Good.”

“Fine.” She spoke before sitting at the table. The chair was pretty tall and allowed her legs to rest gently as they hung. The two were both very stubborn and strong willed. Loki was beginning to understand this about her from their week together. He often found himself becoming irritated with the ways of mortals even now...the only different thing with her was that she too realized the faults in humanity. She knew that morals have fallen so far and knew that it was just the way of the world.

“Where to today?” He asked as he slowly slid the chair out next to her.

“Nowhere important. I was thinking some coffee.” She commented.

“Coffee?...I’ll never understand why you indulge yourself in such mundane tasks.” He added as he tapped his cold fingers on the table.

“Oh I’m sorry Mr. extravagant, let me go drive my car on the race track or I know I’ll go back to my art studio. Oh wait...” She leaned back and took her sunglasses off, placing them on the table as she pointed towards her eyes.

Loki’s eyes scanned the scar that ran down her eye and over the top of her cheek. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

“I’ve also noticed how you haven’t freaked out at my monstrous appearance.” He thought.

“Loki, can I ask you something?” Y/N announced.

“Depends.”

“My dad said that...you wore a surgical mask? Glasses too. I mean I know I don’t have the luxury anymore but...can you tell me what you look like?..” she nervously questioned. The curiosity was killing her, she desperately wanted to know what the man living in her condo looked like.

Loki was taken back a bit. He was used to her being so straight forward and snapped back at all his snarking comments. Yet, here she was looking almost child like...simply just to know what he looked like. There was only one problem, he was going to have to lie. Of course this was only slightly, he felt his true form was not this but what he used to be charmed as.

“I...well yes. I wear the mask and the glasses because I have a um...skin condition?” He said more like a question, “and if I get too much sun or light, it could damage it. As for my appearance, I’d say I’m pretty light skinned...due to the lack of sun. My hair is black, it does not pass my shoulders.”

Y/N nodded as she began using her incredible imagination to conjure him up in her mind. Sometimes she would find herself forgetting what things looked like, her doctors warned her of this. “What color are your eyes?” She asked simply.

“Green...sometimes they appear as blue. It depends.” He cleared his throat becoming too invested within his own thoughts. He completely dreaded his appearance. Looking in the mirror would disgust him and he would avoid it as much as he possibly could. He didn’t realize how much he cherished the illusion...till it was gone.

She laughed lightly, “Wow, you must be a charmer with the ladies.” She teased.

“I’m not interested.” He stayed calmly.

“Charmer with the men?” She questioned with her eyebrows raised.

“Gender isn’t the problem y/n. People are.” Loki stated, “I’ll be in my room if you need me.” He made note of his disappearance before he did so.

Y/N caught on to his disengagement within society. Taking much more notice to the tones he would use and the things in general, she knew there was a reason. Someone had corrupted his thinking, allowing it to affect the way he treated people. Y/N knew this because she felt the same.

The sun set and the streets roared. Tourists and workers walked amongst the two. Y/N had her hand gripped tightly among Loki’s elbow, keeping herself as close to him as possible. She would become uneasy while in the streets as this was all new to her. The God had as well, worried that anyone could discover his identity.

“Are we there yet?” Y/N asked. The wind blew through her hair and she mentally thanked herself for remembering to wear a coat on such a cold night. Her jeans were gray and her shirt black. Loki has picked out the boots she wore for her. They too were black.

“I think so, this voice in the box is saying that we have two streets to go.” He said as he held Y/N’s phone in his left gloves hand. He wore a gray wool trench coat with large black buttons along with casual black jeans fitted to his liking and a dark gray t shirt that he had fetched from a thrift store. As for his “disguise” he had Y/N to thank for that.

“Loki! Come here.” She had called out as she stood in front of her closet. Loki has just gotten dressed properly, he never gotten cold due to his jotun blood but wearing a coat would allow him to blend in easier. Making his way towards her room she stood there with a scarf in her hand. Y/N traced her fingers along the fabric.

“Loki?” She questioned making sure he was there. “Yes, I’m here.”

“The cafe is kind of bright, so I thought instead of a mask you might like a scarf? I mean I’m not sure what color this is...I’m almost positive it’s a scarf. I went through a phase where I used to wear them all the time.” She held her hand out as the scarf dangled. He grabbed it gently and didn’t exactly hate the idea. It was better than having to use that grimy makeup he bought.

“...Thanks.” He said softly a little confused as to why she would still help him despite his attitude. He was quite cold, but it never changed her attitude as much.

“Also, I have this hat. I used to wear it a lot too. I’m not sure why I stopped. If memory serves right, it’s right up there. I can’t reach it so maybe you could.” She moved aside from the closet’s entrance.

Loki stepped forward and looked up. There were a few hats in there. One stood out. It was black and looked it would cover his forehead. Immediately he grabbed it effortlessly.

“Black?” He asked.

“Yeah.”

“It’s already sun down, but it still helps the...condition. I um...”

“You’re welcome.” She finished for him.

“One more thing, choose my shoes?”

“It’s a phone.” Y/N replied and chuckled lightly. Loki tolled his eyes. In response.

“Just for your information, I’m rolling my eyes.”

“Don’t do it so much, they might fall out.” She commented and held her hand over her mouth gently as she chuckled again.

Loki allowed himself a smirk.

Looking as if they might rob the place, Loki held the door to the cafe open for Y/N. The familiar scent filled up y/n’s nostrils and she smiled widely. Suddenly she felt Loki’s strong gloved hand wrap around her arm, specifically her elbow. “There’s a few tables by a window...and some closer to the stage...which would you prefer?” He asked leaning down a tad to speak quietly into her ear. His voice still was very easy sounding and made her feel a bit calmer.

“Umm...the stage? It’s a little more dim there.” She suggested and Loki nodded in response.

“Okay.” He walked her slowly over towards the maroon colored couch in the stage area. There were a few comfortable looking chairs and stools around. He had no idea what this was supposed to be. He was even more confused than before. Loki allowed Y/N to sit first then sat next to her. Seeing as though some people stared at him, and others completely seemed as if he hadn’t existed at all...he felt a tad more comfortable than his past times being out of his room.

“Y/N, What is this?” He questioned in a serious tone.

Y/N chuckled lightly, “You’ll see.”

A waitress had come by and asked what they wanted to drink. Loki simply ordered tea and Y/N ordered a coffee.

Not too long after, people began sitting closer. Loki’s eyes immediately scanned across the cafe wondering what was to begin. Nothing. That was when a woman in about her 20s littered in tattoos and piercings sat next to Loki.

“I totally dig your vampire aesthetic dude.” She stared before flipping through her notes on her phone.

“I beg your pardon?” He asked while the girl hadn’t responded. Y/N’s hearing being far better than it used to be, she chuckled hearing the comment.

“Did you wear all black again?” Y/N whispered towards Loki. He glanced down at his appearance and said nothing. “I’ll take your silence as a yes.” As the spot light shone down on the stage, the waitress came back with their drinks. Y/N quietly thanked her and held the warm cup in her hands. Loki did the same. Suddenly a man in about his late 20s approached the stage with a piece of paper in his hands.

“Thank you all for coming.” He said kindly. With that everyone including Y/N either shouted a small “wooo” or snapped their fingers. “My depression is a demon underneath my bed...disguised as a friend...” he trailed on. Slam poetry.

After hearing more, Loki started recognizing these speeches as a form of poetry. He was familiar with Earth’s ancient poets but was never introduced to such a raw form of poetry before, and directly from the poet’s mouth. Much to his surprise, after putting his pride aside...he found himself looking forward to the next performance and the next. These midgardians look so different...Loki thought to himself, yet despite that everyone casts their attention towards the speaker. This was definitely new to the God.

Upon hearing the last performance, Y/N felt the feeling in the woman’s voice. The power. The radiance. Not realizing it, as she clapped along with others a single tear ran down her cheek. Loki looked to his side and seen the tear leak from behind Y/N’s sunglasses. She really did take this seriously. Passionate even. He studied her face for a few seconds before looking in the opposite direction.

Walking home was relaxing. The wind blew gently and the two only exchanged a few words as they both enjoyed the sound of silence. It was comfortable. Soon they arrived home.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?” She asked placing her hand on the counter to steady herself.

“What was that?” Loki asked curiously.

“Slam poetry.” “Oh.” He said silently as he took off the scarf and hat.

“I thought you’d might like it...I could hear you sometimes.” She commented.

Loki arched an eyebrow and asked, “Hear me?”

“Yeah, you sometimes read out loud...poems. I thought you’d might enjoy this.”

Loki felt his heart thud feeling slightly embarrassed. Vulnerable even. Had she really done this for him? He blinked a few times. He said nothing.

“Loki?”

“It’s not very polite to eavesdrop y/n. Goodnight.” He stated before walking off towards his room leaving y/n to believe that the God was no more than cold man.

Loki taglist: @drakesfiance @sunflqweroses @bambamwolf87 @pandaqua @bonelessbarnes @dorkybryan @hunter-demigod-timelord @thatmemequeen @powerstrangerdacre @barnes-infinity-bucky Story Taglist: @mrssangsterstylesxavier @slender—spirit @awkward-silence-turtle @vxidnik @fandoms-allovertheplace @limedane21 @yourpotatotwiceremooved @crazyweirdgeekthatneedstochill @ajduurikscjsja @kiwigrease @fireismysaftey @nhievyenne @bambi-loki @bilesxbilinskixlahey @jessiejunebug @imarockstar45 @fuckthatfeeling @the-deity-ofthe-cosmos @ficnalunaus @chibiyanai @zarizha @mell-bell @blueskiesbleakeyes @moonfaery @always-kneel-to-loki @graveyardchild @some-person-somewhere @nutmeg3-7 @aljadams369 @marvelc00kie35 @harleykittykat @lokis-little-kitten @sergeantmistress @sparkling-liability @vicksaturn @youveseen--thebutcher @wickedscorpio22 @zeddlocket @sheeraverage @trenchcoatdevilsworld @wishrains @lokilover5813 @deadmanwalked Permanent Taglist: @marvelismylifffe @libbymouse

[octaviaspvcks]

                                             TASK [ 003 ]                                             QUESTIONNAIRE

ORIGINS & FAMILY:

Name: Octavia Monraue

Nickname: Octi, Octopus, Tavie, Ava.

Birthday: 17/01/1994

Age: 24 Years Old  

Gender: Female

Place of Birth: Great Malvern, Worcestershire, England.

Places Lived Since: Manhattan, Washington, LA, New Orleans, Santa Barbra &  Jehirco. Arizona.

Nationality: English, Greek, American.

Parents’ Names: Elimarie & David Monraue

Number of Siblings: None.

Relationship With Family: They had a close connection, especially growing up. They were pushing her hard to be the greatest she could be but she loved every second of it. Now of course there is no relationship after their early  demise. She misses them terribly but very rarely speaks of them.

Happiest Memory: The day she achieved her first ever award for making Lucas proud.

Childhood Trauma: Early childhood Octavia was struggling with her learning,  although extremely clever it was almost impossible for her to concentrate which really destroyed her confidence. This later came to be a condition called Low Latent Inhibition which affects the way in which the brain perceives    things around the person. It took a lot for her to get used to and overcome this obstacle in her life. And of course the death of her parents was something that completely rocked her world. With such a close family and not many friends this seemed to shatter her and the world around her.

PHYSICAL:

Height: 5’7  ( 1.72 m )

Weight: 112 pounds

Build: Athletic and Lean

Hair Color: Brown with flecks of ash

Usual  Hair Style: Drop curls

Eye Color: Hazel

Glasses? Contacts?: She only ever wears glasses to add to a disguise.

Style of Dress/Typical Outfit(s): Octavia can be seen with two different kinds of wear, one of  her typical day wear tends to be battered black or grey jeans paired with a band-t-shirt or racer tank, black doc martins and her black leather jacket. While her nightwear is a contrast where she tends to wear lavish gowns and expensive designer dresses. This comes from when she used to work as a high class con artist alongside Lucas.

Typical Style of Shoes: Day time you will always find her adorning her doc Martins, she has an array of different colours but her evening she always sports a pair of Louboutin black heels that she received as a present while spending some time in Paris. She has a large array of heels that she likes to wear.

Jewellery? Tattoos? Piercings?: Although not exactly a believer in god she very often wears a cross around her neck that belonged to her mother, she has a nose piercing and wears a lot of rings on her right hand.

Scars: She has a large scar that runs down the side of her rib cage, and one above her lip.

Unique Mannerisms/Physical Habits: She has a lot of British slang and mannerisms from living  most of her childhood in England and still holds her accent very thickly.

Athleticism: Octavia is a big fan of running and she is often seen going for a 6AM run to clear her mind, she loves listening to music and working out as much as she can. She attends the gym at least three times a week and loves boxing for sport.

Health Problems/Illnesses: Octavia has a condition called Low Latent Inhibition which affects her ability to concentrate solely on one thing and affects the way in which the brain perceives and maintains information. Because of her high IQ she manages it very well but it is a challenge at times.

INTELLECT:

Level of Education: Octavia only ever got her GED, although when she was a con     artist in New York she used to go and sit in university classes under fake names and take classes, she even sat exams under false names just so she could see what she could achieve,

Languages Spoken: English, Russian, Korean, Spanish, French, German,     Icelandic, Hebrew & Latin.

Level of Self-Esteem: Octavia  has a high self-esteem and she tends to take pride in herself but when it comes to finding love just has little to none at all.

Gifts/Talents: Languages, Music and Numbers are a big part of Octavia’s talent; multi-instrumentalist and bilinguals as well as her ability with numbers and equations. But these are only a few of her talents,  manipulative when she needed also learn a lot of things when she was working for Lucas as a Luxury Black Market Art thief. She was good with Racketeering,  Bond Forgery and Identify Forgery as well as computer hacking.

Mathematical?: Octavia is a lover of numbers, she could sit and do numbers all day and gets a thrill out of getting equations and quizzes complete as it challenges her     mind which she often feels she doesn’t do enough these days.

Makes Decisions Based Mostly On Emotions, or On Logic?: Most of the bad decisions that Octavia  makes are based upon emotion. She is a rather logically person, so when she does make mistakes or bad decisions it is usually emotionally fuelled.    

Life Philosophy: Always, always trust your first gut instincts. If you genuinely feel in your heart and soul that something wrong, it usually is.

Religious Stance: Atheist. She believes that everything happens for a reason and in reincarnation.

Cautious or Daring?: Daring when needed, she likes to take a risk and loves     adrenaline and thrills but she is cautious when it comes to her heart and things that could affect her mentally.

Most Sensitive About/Vulnerable To: She is vulnerable when it comes to the death of people close to her and the fact that she feels inexperienced when it comes to love and letting people in past the shield she has created around herself. She     worries that after Roberto’s passing that she could lose other people.

Optimist or Pessimist?: Optimist towards everything but her own love life.

Extrovert or Introvert?: She is neither of these but in fact a Ambivalent. A     combination of the two. She likes people but needs to be alone. She’ll go out and vibe and meet new people. But it has it’s expiration, because she has to recharge. If she doesn’t find the valuable alone time she needs to recharge she cannot be her highest self.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Current Relationship Status: Single.

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual

Past Relationships: One Night Stand with Russell Johnson and Crush on Lucas     Price.

Primary Reason For Being Broken Up With: Nothing to compare it too.

Primary Reasons For Breaking Up With People: There has never been a break up.

Ever Cheated?: No.

Been Cheated On: No.

Level of Sexual Experience: Octavia has only ever slept with one person, once.

Story of First Kiss: In The Howling rooms drunk on Whiskey and Music while     laughing about how much life sucked at times. She kissed Russell in hopes it would dissolve the constant feeling and yearning in her stomach for Lucas.

Story of Loss of Virginity: Octavia lost her virginity recently to Russell

A Social Person?: Octavia is a very big people person and gets/feels better whenever  she is around people. But she also likes her space to read and play music, although, she doesn’t mind doing this with people around as long as they     leave her be.

Most Comfortable Around: Leo, Lucas, Russell, Mia, Sophia, Camille & Jack

Oldest Friend: Lucas Price.

How Does she Think Others Perceive Her?: Octavia has different opinions, but those close to her she believes see her as someone with an open mind who is willing to do what  she has to do to get a job done. She is respectful and loyal and will now bow out if someone needs her.

How Do Others Actually Perceive Him?: Octavia really isn’t sure what peoples formed opinions of  her are.

SECRETS:

Life Goals: To meet someone who she can spend her life with, she does not want anything extravagant  in terms of money but she does want a love just like she reads in her favourite books and love films--- she wants to have adventures, night walks on the beach and laughter with a glass of wine around a piano at night; all she hopes for beside that is to one day have a little boy and be a mother just like her mother had been.

Dreams: Octavia has a dream that one day she’ll be married.

Greatest Fears: Trypanphobia, Claustrophobia & Pseudodysphagia

Most Ashamed Of: Although she does love her life of Crime she is ashamed of     herself for never carrying on with her education and going on to be like her mother and work for the government in languages. She feels she let her parents down, even if they are not around to see it.

Secret Hobbies: She collects stamps from every place

Crimes Committed (Was he caught? Charged?): The list of Octavia’s crimes is extensive especially from when she used to work with Lucas. Some of them contain Forgery, Racketeering, Identity Theft, International Sea Extortion, Mafia ties, Homicide amongst many more.

DETAILS/QUIRKS:

Night Owl or Early Bird?: Night Owl

Light or Heavy Sleeper?: Heavy Sleeper

Favorite Animal: Wolf.

Favorite Food: Smoked Salmon Sushi.

Least Favorite Food: Prunes, Raisins ect.

Favorite Book: War & Peace by Leo Tolstoy

Least Favorite Book: 50 Shades of Grey.

Favorite Movie: Black Hawk Down

Least Favorite Movie: Star Wars.

Favorite Song: Misererer by Gregorio Allegri, Tebevrae. Allegri.

Favorite Sport: Figure Skating

Coffee or Tea?: Tea

Crunchy or Smooth Peanut Butter?: She hates peanut butter with a passion.

Type of Car she Drives: Mercury Comet 1963

Lefty or Righty?:  Right.

Favorite Color: Burgundy.

Cusser?: Swear  words are used more often than normal words with Octavia.

Smoker? Drinker? Drug User?: Heavy Smoker and Drinker but she will not touch drugs.

Biggest Regret: Losing her virginity while drunk.

Pets: Octavia has a dog called Yoko.

[thecrookedgavel]

The Black Box Readings - Ep 3 Transcript

Here’s the transcript for episode 3 of The Black Box Readings, the podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down.

See Other Episodes

An: Hey, all! And welcome back to The Black Box Readings, the podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down! I’m your host, An Capuano. So episode one released and I was very happy with how people responded to it. I got a lot of messages saying how raw the experience was, or how happy they were to have the chance to listen to a queer experience. Usually it was from queer people, but sometimes it wasn’t! 

Though responses were positive for the most part, the podcast did get some negative attention too. Ignoring all the stuff that wasn’t constructive, there were two main criticisms of the show. The first was actually surrounding its premise. People were concerned that it was unethical to put something that was deleted back onto the internet. Even if it wasn’t deleted, isn’t it essentially stealing to use it in a podcast like this? Ok, so I understand the concerns and I guess I wasn’t clear enough to begin with. I received permission from the original author of the material to use it any way I’d like. Probably something I should have said originally, and I’m sorry that I didn’t. As for whether or not I’m just copying someone else’s work, I believe that The Black Box Readings count as a transformative work, and therefore it’s protected under fair use. There’s more than enough “Me” in this podcast that it’s really become something more than just the original “text”. 

The other problem some people had with the podcast was that Emmy didn’t seem like a trans girl at all to them, and they felt like I was grasping at straws in my explanations pointing out trans aspects. Well, I do understand that there isn’t anything that outright says Emmy is trans within her posts in the first two episodes. But what you have to remember is that I actually knew her, and even though it’s sort of a spoiler for this episode, she did come out as trans on her blog. Look, I’m trying to present the posts I chose in chronological order to make a coherent narrative. Even so, it felt too weird to hide Emmy’s identity until this episode, when that’s largely the reason I’m doing this podcast in the first place. 

So with all that aside, I’d like to get into the episode proper! Today’s episode is largely a feel-good one. It’s got a lot of positive energy, and focuses on the budding relationship between Emmy and EmeraldSkies. In case you don’t remember, the two of them met playing Overwatch and became fast friends. At this point, Emmy has been posting about their interactions on her blog, and it’s official now that Emmy has a crush. *laughs* it was really cute to watch her navigate through her feelings, but I didn’t want this episode to be… you know, two hours long, so I’ve come up with a few posts that best illustrate an already-established connection. To start us off, here’s one entitled:

“I Told Her

I know I talk about her a lot, but -”

Oh, *Laugh* I guess it happened again. She used EmeraldSkies real name, and I’m really not comfortable saying it in the podcast for privacy reasons. Let’s see, given that EmeraldSkies is Latina, let’s go with Selena, like our favorite wizard from Waverly Place. *laughs*

“I know I talk about her a lot, but Selena is just so cool! I’m sorry if it’s getting annoying to anyone, but I’m not going to hide how I feel either. This is my Tumblr, after all, I can post what I want. Anyway, today I finally told her I was deaf, and that’s the reason we don’t do voice chat. She understood completely, and told me that voice chat wasn’t something she liked doing in the first place. Ahhh, She’s so cool! I’m lucky to have her in my life! I was so scared that she’d see me as weird or broken or something, that’s the usual reaction I get anyhow. But not with her! I’m so happy right now!

Selena has been continuing to share her poetry with me, it’s really good! I feel so at home reading it. It’s such a personal look into her soul, I’m glad she doesn’t feel too vulnerable letting me read it. It’s especially helpful that it’s a medium I can fully understand. Honestly, I sometimes feel a little lost when watching tv, even with captions on. It’s sort of an incomplete experience, you know?”

I find the sort of “sorry, not sorry” attitude Emmy has here to be a big step up from previous ones. She exudes a bit of confidence here, not caring if people unfollow her because she’s talking about a crush. It’s nice to see Selena bring that out in Emmy. It’s also really heartwarming that Emmy didn’t receive the usual reaction she says she gets when telling people about her disability. Selena seems like a very accepting and kind person, and I think Emmy deserves that in her life. Also, I want to point out that Selena is averse to using voice chat. There’s a reason for that, and you’ll probably be able to guess it by the end of the episode.

Also, Selena is an amateur poet! I feel I should point that out, because it’s immediately relevant in our next post, which is Emmy talking about a poem that Selena wrote especially for her. 

We don’t get the poem itself, just Emmy’s interpretation of it, which does give us a fair bit of insight on to what the poem might have been like.

The post is called: “She wrote a poem for me??

I’m so excited you guys, you have no idea! Selena wrote me a poem! And I’m swept off my feet by it. She says it was nothing, but I don’t think so! She called it “Flowers Down by the Lake” and it’s beautiful! Like, I don’t want to read into it too hard, but I think this means she likes me back?? And not just because it’s a poem that she wrote for me, but because of what’s IN the poem, guys!

It’s about two flowers that are more beautiful not in spite of how they’ve been damaged, but because of it. And how they’re both really different, but they’re even more beautiful because they’re side by side. So. Fucking. Romantic! I love this poem, it gives me so many feels. 

Maybe there’s something to this whole ‘fate’ thing after all”

Before getting into the meat of this post, I’d like to touch on the last line. This is where Emmy first publicly posts about the idea of fate starting to appeal to her, though I imagine that she has been playing around with the idea of it for a while now. I’m not personally sure I believe in fate myself, so *sigh* I’m not entirely sure why this seems so important to me? So, I like to look at the universe as truly random, and because of that, two people finding each other amongst that randomness is the most beautiful thing imaginable. So whether it was just the randomness of the Overwatch matchmaking system, or fate itself that brought these two together, I think that’s something really special. 

Anyways, I’ve never gotten the chance to actually read this poem, but it sounds pretty spectacular. The message that Emmy sees is one that we can all take to heart. All of you are beautiful in your own way, and it’s in part because of what you’ve been through. You’ve been shaped by your hardships in a way that makes you more of a person, and the people around you that are enriching to your lives help you to “bloom”, so to speak. 

Although I am partial to getting all sappy with you folks, we do have an episode to get through, and so we’ll be moving on to our next post. 

And what a post it will be! This is for sure the most important post in this episode, perhaps the most important one so far. I alluded to it in the beginning of the episode, and I’m really excited to finally share it with you all. I can’t hype it up enough, but I am certainly trying *laughs*. It’s called:

“I Have Something To Tell You

I don’t want to waste any time, so I’m just going to come out and say it: I’m a trans girl! If you don’t know what I mean, it’s kind of hard to explain, but I’ll try to. 

“Trans” is short for transgender, which means that I don’t identify with my birth sex as my gender. So I was born a boy, but I feel like a girl on the inside. Gender is just different than sex. Period. It’s complicated, I know, since we use similar words to talk about them, but it’s true. 

Growing up, I didn’t have a lot of interactions with kids my age, because I was homeschooled. A lot of interactions were through reading books. I found myself enthralled with stories about girls, but less interested in stories about boys. When I did read stories about boys, I’d latch onto female secondary characters and see the world through them. Some examples of female characters I saw myself as are: Clary from Mortal Instruments, Katniss from Hunger Games, and even Hermione from Harry Potter. 

When it came to video games, I found myself picking female characters when given the choice. I even do it in Overwatch! I’m a Mercy main, after all.

I used to tell myself that it was because the books were just that good, or because the video game characters were cute, but I see now that was only half of the truth. It’s really because I saw myself in those characters, that’s the kind of soul I have, you know? 

There are other, more private reasons surrounding my body I won’t get into here, as well.

I guess I realized what I was feeling because, well, Selena is a trans girl too! I guess I found out when we decided to swap pictures of what we both looked like. She prefaced her’s by saying that she might look a little boyish, and that’s because she’s trans! I was happy that she felt close enough to me that she could share that, since she’s more private about this sort of thing than I’m being. I’ve never met a trans girl before, especially not in real life, so that’s why it took me so long to figure out. Plus my Dad is very “traditional”, so I’ve been conditioned to hide who I am throughout the years. I doubt he’d embrace me as his daughter with open arms, so for now, it’s a secret I’m keeping from him. If he thinks I’m going to go to hell for it, then fuck him. I don’t care what he thinks about me anymore. 

Thank you for reading to the end of this post! I hope I made sense.”

So there we have it, official word from Emmy that she is trans. Not only that, but Selena is trans too! There’s a lot to unpack here, so we should get started. She gives a good explanation of what being transgender means for her, even if it contains a few pieces of old language, like being “born a boy.” It’s generally best not to say that about someone else, fair warning. It’s good that she had that sort of “aha” moment when Selena explained what transgender means. 

For me, my Aha moment was in the form of a rather… outdated term, I think it was “Male identified lesbian.” *laughs* Ohh, well… I guess I had some suspicions about myself, and so I did some googling. And I found this term that sounded so much like me. It had a bunch of bullet points like, attracted to lesbians, identifies with women over men, stuff like that. It was actually kind of problematic, looking back because it was really steeped in men sexualizing lesbians, but it was a stepping stone for me when I was 20ish. I don’t think that website is still there all these years later

Definitely something that I did when I was younger that affirms my trans identity looking back was wearing dresses. Not an Aha moment in the slightest, though. Well not for me, but probably for my friends *laughs* When I was 14, my friends put together a murder mystery party. It was a pre-written story, and there were roles to assign to everyone. And I got assigned the mother of the victim. My friends just thought of me and said, you know what would really suit An? Playing a woman. Heh, And I rocked it, too. It helped that one of my friends brought a dress for me to borrow during the party. Though I wore it so well and was obviously so confident wearing it, that she let me keep it. I’d use that same dress to play a woman again in a play, but maybe that’s a story for another time.

Back on track, Emmy talks about playing video games as female characters being a big indicator looking back, and I really feel that one. I remember specifically choosing Talim and Tira from Soul Calibur all the time and being like, it’s obviously because they’re fast characters, and that’s just my playstyle. But naw, it largely had to do with me seeing myself a certain way. Like, I remember specifically one time I looked at my stats in Left 4 Dead, a game I played all together too much of, and noticed that I picked Zoe to play as like, 80% of the time? Like there’s 4 characters to choose from, all the same stat-wise, and I picked the girl more often than not. It sort of shook me to my core when I realized this, but I didn’t know what it really meant until a few years later.

Also, to preemptively answer any concerns about Emmy realizing she’s trans because of someone else, don’t worry. I don’t think she’s like, copying Selena’s identity to fit in or something like that. The thing is… seeing a trans person as just that - a person - can be a trigger to figuring out who you really are. Like, this was the case for my ex who I was dating at the time I was finally able to call myself a woman. No name change, no pronoun change, or anything like that, but I had admitted it out loud by then. It sort of had a reaction in him to call himself gender fluid, and I think that was really important for him. In this case, it was a stepping stone to realizing that he was a trans man, but that’s still valid, right? It’s ok to change your identity as you learn more about yourself. Labels can change over time. For Emmy, Selena was probably the first instance of positive representation that she ever saw. Anyways, even though my relationship kind of exploded, I talked with him at a later date, and we expressed how important being instantly supportive was to each other. We lost contact since, but I honestly hope he’s doing alright out there.

That’s probably enough about me, sorry. *laughs* This post just sort of pulls it all out of me, you know? 

Either way, we should probably get back to the posts at hand so we can end this episode in a reasonable timeframe. So I messaged Emmy to congratulate her, and I know she probably saw it, because she references something very similar to what I wrote to her in her next post. I don’t remember what exactly what I sent, just that at the time, I recognized what I sent in her wording. Also in the post, there’s another section that reminds me of the frequently asked questions about being disabled. Though this time around… well we’ll talk about it after I read it to you.

“Thank you and Fuck you!

Sorry not sorry about the title, but don’t worry, you know which one you are if you recently sent me a DM. First of all, thank you for all the kind and supportive words you all had to say! Coming out is really hard, but you made it worth it! I feel so loved and valid, it’s been great to have you all in my inbox!

However, there were other people in my inbox that I appreciated a lot less. Lots of transphobic assholes messaging me about needing mental help and how I’m going to hell now. Dicks asking me if I want to chop off my dick now, and of course, fucktards telling me to kill myself. Many of you said you’re unfollowing my blog too. So, all I have to say is fuck you!!! That’s all.”

I feel like we should talk about the second part of the post. I honestly believe she has a right to be angry here, and lashing out is perfectly natural. So I’m not saying she’s not allowed to tell transphobes off. But if you notice the last time she got a lot of upsetting messages in her inbox, she handled it with grace. There was a “fuck you” for sure, but it was implied, rather than… you know, in the title? And I think I know why there’s such a difference in tone here.

When you come out like this, you’re telling your truth for the first time. Everything feels a lot more raw and vulnerable for you. She’s probably used to the dumb questions about being deaf, so she’s developed a way to politely answer the grosser questions. But here, it’s been like, a few days? She’s going to feel like she needs to go on the attack here. 

Coming out as trans for me was really hard too, and I didn’t even do it on an online platform. I’m even hesitant to talk about it now, because of how deeply personal it is. But I think it’s important to give you context to why Emmy would want to say “fuck you” to so many people.

So the first person I ever came out to was a friend of mine from high school. She was… not a great person. She was a complete narcissist, she lied to me constantly and ended up using me for sex. That and she was deeply transphobic. Honestly, I could talk about that whole situation forever, so I won’t get started. What’s important is that when I told her I felt like a girl on the inside, she told me that was weird. And that really hurt my personal growth. It put me back into the closet for a few years. I didn’t tell anyone again for a while. The screwed up thing is that she was queer herself, and she was dating someone who would later come out as a trans guy. She didn’t support him either. I remember her telling me that it was stupid that he changed his name, and being impressionable at the young age of 22, I believed her. Even after I came out to my family, I didn’t change my name for a good while after that.

Oh, speaking of my family, coming out to them went very, very poorly. *sigh* I was having dinner with them, and I had decided earlier that day that today was the day. I finally brought up enough courage to finally say that I was a girl… and they all laughed at me. That was about 5 years ago, and the laughter is still something I never got over. After I clarified I wasn’t joking, they took it really badly. I was told later that I had almost given my dad a heart attack when I clarified that I was not only a woman, but a lesbian too. There was a lot of yelling at the table. They still have some trouble with my name and pronouns these days, but they honestly try really hard, and I really appreciate that about them. But the initial experience? It was extremely traumatizing. 

Coming out is something that you never actually get to stop doing, and I could tell more horror stories, but I think I have given you enough of an idea of why Emmy felt so many raw emotions when writing that post. 

Next up is another special post that continues the trend of being a big turning point in Emmy’s life. It’s in the form of an announcement, and I feel like I should mention that the overall time lapse in this episode is rather large. Obviously she has been posting a lot about Selena and they’ve been spending a lot of time getting to know each other. In the interest of brevity, I’m only touching on the major points. That may make it seem like things were rushed, but please note that they weren’t. She starts things off with:

“I have another announcement to make!

Many of you have been DMing me asking about me and EmeraldSkies, and saying how we should be together. Well I have good news for you! We’re official! We’re in lesbians together, lol. We’ve known each other for months now, although it feels like I’ve had a thing for her forever. Anyway, she asked me if I wanted to try and make it work long distance, and I did! So I said yes! I’ve never been happier! Also, I convinced her that her poetry is totally amazing and she needed to share it with the world. Don’t just take my word for it, check out her new Tumblr!”

And there was probably a link to Selena’s Tumblr if you clicked on the last sentence. Now, I never personally messaged Emmy about this, but I did ship them very hard since the point where Selena wrote her first poem for Emmy. It felt so wholesome to see this announcement, and not just because my ship was confirmed. Emmy said right there that she had never been happier. She was finally feeling fulfilled for the first time in her life, and I think that had a lot to do with coming out, which had a lot to do with Selena in the first place. So seeing them together was such a treat.

Alright! Last post of the episode. Here we have something a little different than what we’re used to. It’s not a post that Emmy has written, but a post that she reblogged. Since she put it on her blog, it counts for our purposes, especially since it’s about her in the first place. It’s a poem about Emmy written by Selena. And it’s titled:

“Free From Tyranny

Although you still feel trapped, you are now free,

It may seem like you are damned by the followers of God,

Stuck under the rule of a not-so-heavenly father, 

But it is all an illusion, completely superficial.

For you see, you have been freed,

Freed from fear, denial, and self-loathing,

These are the metals that form the bars of the true prison,

The prison of the mind, the prison of the self.

You have bent these bars, they are nothing to you now,

So even if you still feel the tyranny from the outside world,

Know that you are finally free from the tyranny of yourself

And you are so beautiful for it. “

It’s quite a lovely little poem, and I do love the themes and the message. It’s just that, *sigh* I don’t know if I can agree with it fully? Yes, for sure, that being free to be your true self to yourself is magical. It’s something that was a huge turning point for my own personal growth. But whether or not that makes you truly free? I can’t say for sure. A terrible environment can really hurt a person’s sense of self. I worry that after a while of it, even folks with the brightness of convictions might willingly go back into their own prisons, so to speak. I do really enjoy how it’s written though, and my view of Selena as a poet isn’t hurt by my worries here.

Anyways, Emmy posts a little reply in her reblog that I find pretty funny,

“I love this poem, but I wonder who it’s about”

As if you don’t know Emmy, stop being silly *Laughs* 

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Black Box Readings! Thanks again for all for your feedback, supportive or constructive, it honestly all really helps! I went really deep with the anecdotes today, I hope it wasn’t too much. Follow me on Twitter at TheCrookedGavel to stay up to date on this and other queer podcasts. Feel free to contact me there as well. This is An Capuano, signing off!

[shipwrexked]

Poison Study by Maria Snyder

Publication Date: 2005

Story Synopsis: Poison study is the first book in a fantasy novel series. It tells the story of 20 year old Yelena who, after spending just less than a year in a dungeon awaiting execution is given the chance to ‘live’ on the condition that she will become the Commander’s Food Taster.

Story Motif’s:  Dystopian Regime of Ixia, Loosely based Republic of Sitia, Magic

All right I got a lot of asks about this series and to make it simple I’m just going to do this one post to cover all of the asks, I hope. 

Why did I recommend Poison Study as the series to read after Throne of Glass and A Court of War and Ruin?

Two reasons, ok there are more than two reasons but here are the main two reason. Maria Snyder wrote Poison Study waaaaaaaayyyy before S.J. Maas wrote the first Throne of Glass novel and there are a lot of similarities in the story tropes and motifs between these two. So if you liked Aelin in Throne of Glass you’re going LOVE Valek in Poison Study. If you’re favorite character in ACOWAR was Feyre then prepare yourselves for the non-white, poc version of her in Yelena (the main character). If you loved the richness of the secondary characters and side characters in S.J. Maas’s world then you are going to fall hopelessly in love with characters like Commander Ambrose, Ari, Janco, Rand, and Dilana. Janco and Ari are the Cassian and Azriel of this series or the Aedion and Lysandra or maybe Nox? 

The second reason is this: A lot of the world building issues that we readers who, admittedly love S.J. Maas’s works, are not found here. So in a way it’s like reading S.J. Maas but without all the gaping world building holes. Also remember Poison Study was published in 2005 so I guess it’s more accurate to say S.J. Maas is like reading Poison Study but with world building issues. 

Do you really believe everyone should read these books in school?

YES!!! I don’t just believe it I built an entire curriculum around this series and here’s just a few reasons why.

This series gives us non-traditional characters in a world of fantasy. Now you would think Fantasy would be the one genre that would break literary barriers first but you’d be wrong. Very few women actually wrote in this genre until recently. Those of us who loved this genre were reliant on white dudes to write our novels and so we usually got the “damsel in distress saved by white knight” story motifs in some form or another. Then Anne McCaffery gave us “The Dragon Riders of Pern” and Fantasy finally got a strong female lead, she was still white though. Then Maria Snyder wrote Poison Study and we FINALLY GOT CHARACTERS THAT ARE REPRESENTATIVE OF POC PEOPLE!! I can not stress that enough. Not only did she represent Yelena perfectly but she also gave us a strong transgendered character in Commander Ambrose *kisses* I love you Commander!! We also got bi-representation, gay representation, and for the first time we got a character that correctly portrayed PTSD. So Tamlin you should pay attention to Yelena she’ll show you the RIGHT way to cope my dude. 

This series also explores very real political structures and their effects on society and especially on marginalized people. There are some very complex themes of human struggles woven into the tapestry of this series. Those themes alone are enough to warrant making this mandatory reading in schools in my not so humble opinion. Ixia to the north is a communist regime political structure. There are no Kings and everyone is answerable to the laws including the Commander. In this case Commander Ambrose. It’s cold, stark, and appears on the surface to be unforgiving and Dystopian like, but later on in the series as more secrets come to light you, the reader, will uncover that while you may not agree with Commander Ambroses stance it’s understandable why this method of government was chosen. On the same hand you have what is modeled to be an idyllic Republic in the south. Sitia appears on the surface to be the “land of plenty, and of enlightenment, and freedom” It later becomes apparent that Sitia has it’s own problems and those problems are not small ones. Yelena escapes one form of government only to find that what she thought would be freedom and a better life in the south is not exactly the truth. She finds herself facing very real, very human, problems in both systems of government and that opposing theme in this series is worth teaching our children about in American schools.

What are some of the fun reasons to read this book?

I think what your asking is what makes this series fun to read? Well we get quotes like this:

“Out of nowhere, Valek appeared before me, yelling in my ear, shaking my shoulders. Stupidly, belatedly, I realized he was the drunk. Who else but Valek could win a fight against four large men when armed only with a beer mug?”

Or this delightful gem:

“Let's go. We're supposed to rendezvous with the Captain at the lake. Oh, and try to keep the noise down. You sound like a panicked moose crashing through the woods," the smarter man chided. "Oh yeah. Like you could hear me over your specially trained 'woodland-animal footsteps,'" Rough Voice countered. "It was like listening to two deer humping each other.”

or this quote from Rand:

“To Yelena, our newest food taster. May you last longer than your predecessor.”

Of course there’s this one that made every reader nod their heads in complete agreement!

“The uniform enhanced his athletic body, and my thoughts drifted to how magnificent he would look with his uniform puddled around his feet.” -Yelena

Or that moment when you realized that Janco was your favorite bi-sexual soldier:

“One, and two, and three, four, five. Keep fighting like this and you will die," Janco sang.” -Janco

Or that moment when Valek said what we were all thinking:

“It's a dirty way to fight, but I'm late for lunch." - Valek to Yelena”

Or this moment when we all cried for Yelena:

“I peered deeper and found my soul. A little tattered and with some holes, but there all the same. It had always been there, I realized with shock.” -Yelena

There are a lot of reasons to read Poison Study and the two books that come after it but mostly you should read them because Maria Snyder was brave enough to write a world where everyone had a place. A world where no matter your gender or sexual identity you can relate to at least one of the characters. You should read this series because she pioneered the concept that it’s actually ok to have strong non-traditional characters without victimizing them or marginalizing them. You should read this series because you’ll laugh, and cry, and scream, and throw the book across the room, then run after it to apologize. This series will break you, then mend you. It will make you think and it will make you laugh and you might actually find yourself seeing your own world through someone else’s POV and that’s NEVER a bad thing.

[blainematters]

For your reading pleasure, a selection of awful fucking quotes from CC’s latest *~masterpiece~*. That’s right, I read all 407 pages so you don’t have to! Unless you too are a complete masochist, in which case go nuts.

This is image heavy, fair warning. Some names have been slightly altered to protect the crazies who would read this and cry.

Audiences found the show’s campiness to be rather charming, its unique underdog spirit resonated with them, and a global phenomenon was born. Nice description of Glee there. Very original. Good work.

Pitying looks were cast upon the unfortunate souls without seats, as if they were third-class passengers on the Titanic. The death of 1500 people in the worst maritime disaster in history is not a funny or clever simile.

Luckily for him, these days Cash had a little help to take the edge off. He reached into his pocket and pulled out three large pills and two marijuana gummy bears. This is how the main character treats his anxiety. He takes this combo with whiskey. This apparently makes him ‘completely numb’. 

He thought it was funny how there was hydrocodone, weed, and alcohol flowing through his veins at a work event but he wasn’t the biggest douchebag onstage. Except he really, really is. Funnily enough people on drugs aren’t the best judge of character.

If he responded with something they didn’t like, his social media would be bombarded with pictures, videos, and GIFs of decapitated animals, human feces, and militants destroying priceless artifacts.

“Olá, fucktards,” Davi said—his use of American slang was a work in progress. What. This character is brazilian, and he swears constantly. Those are his only character traits.

“That’s incredible, Huda,” Mo said. “If only diplomacy worked as efficiently as a fandom, there would never be war again.” I’m fucking dying.

“Young lady,” the psychologist said. “I have studied the human mind for more than four decades. I understand the appeal of joining the transgender community, but I promise you, the transgender movement is nothing short of a trend for nonconformists. In fact, it is still considered a mental illness by the World Health Organization.” Sorry, what appeal? What even is this nonsense? Why does it go on for five pages? Why the need to unnecessarily torture the trans character with this when it makes no difference to his storyline? Why?

Mo had suffered from OID (overactive imagination disorder) since childhood. The condition wasn’t officially recognized by the United States Department of Health (because Mo had made it up) but the disorder was just as taxing and consuming as any. From the entire community of people with mental illness: Fuck you CC. Fuck you for this awful, awful thing. Kindly go fuck yourself for pretending you have any understanding of what a mental illness is like to live with. Ugh.

A very good-looking man in his early twenties. He wore thick sunglasses, a black leather jacket, dark jeans, and designer boots. Yes, this is how ‘Cash’ is described. He’s also been previously described as a total mess who hasn’t showered in days, so I’m not totally convinced it’s accurate.

“I’m T0pher C0llins. It is such a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Carter.” T0pher C0llins? Are you fucking shitting me?

“I walked into my bedroom and saw Peaches had taken a huge dump in the middle of my bed, so I had to clean it up and put my comforter in the washer.” This is said by the only girl in the group, in front of ‘Cash’, who she idolises. Because girls are just stupid fucking blabbermouths right?

“-it’s getting asked advice on how to break into the industry from the guy taking a dump in the stall next to you” Oh look, another thing that has never, ever happened.

“You gotta say that shit so no one labels you as a future has-been—that’ll kill a career. Even if it’s obvious you’ll never do anything but the show you’re on, you can’t admit it.” The first honest and realistic thing in this book, and it only took till chapter seven!

“Every time I get any recognition he writes me into a coma or puts me through something horrendous as punishment. After I was on the cover of TV Guide, he put a dangerous stunt into a script and it broke my ankle. After I won a People’s Choice Award, he put my character in a coma for twelve episodes. The list goes on.” I wonder how Ryan Murphy will react when he hears about this character who is so clearly him?

“Nothing is stranger than fanfiction,” Cash said, like a sailor recalling his encounter with a horrible sea creature. THIS ENTIRE BOOK IS REAL LIFE FANFICTION YOU HYPOCRITICAL ASSHOLE.

“He’s a little jaded, I’ll give you that—but after all the joy he’s given us over the years, the least we can do is let him be a human being. ” Yes, let the straight white cis male tell you all how to think, feel, and act. Your hero isn’t a douche, he’s misunderstood. Let him treat you like shit because who else gets that experience?

The world’s biggest rubber-band ball bounced into the horizon like a deer recently freed from captivity. Chapter nine: ‘Cash’ destroys a national landmark for shits and giggles.

The actor excitedly passed out tickets to Topher, Joey, Sam, and the Sacagawea statue—mistaking it for Mo. He’s also a racist. Are we surprised?

Why is he dancing like an epileptic on roller skates? Aaaaand a joke about epilepsy. I’m sure Hannah loves it.

“What did you do? How did you get over it?” Joey said. “One day I woke up and decided I had had enough.” ‘Cash’ cures his crippling agoraphobia by just going outside. Again, fuck you CC. That is not how mental illness works. Do two seconds of research for fucks sake.

“The night we were all watching the season six finale of Wiz Kids at Joey’s house, I was actually supposed to be watching Billy while my mom was at a Bunco party. I gave him some cold medicine so he would sleep and ran home to check on him every commercial break.” Drug your disabled siblings, your friends will think you’re cool and laugh about instead of telling you  that you’re an awful fucking person. Which you are.

“Then one day, as I was posting a GIF of a decapitated giraffe on her profile, I learned WizKidLiz01 was a little girl with Down syndrome.” Also on the list of things that make you an awful fucking person… plagiarism or no, don’t do this shit.

“So what’s your real name?” Topher asked. “Now, that you’re not going to believe,” Cash said. “It’s Tom Hanks.”

“They were the most eccentric group of stoners Cash had ever seen and he couldn’t take his eyes off them, like they were the subjects of a fascinating nature documentary.” One character is literally screaming her head off with paranoia and scratching invisible bugs in her skin, but hey, watching teenagers on a drug trip is so interesting!

“I think you’re giving him too much credit,” Cash said. “He’ll be long gone by then.” Oh yeah, ‘Cash’ is extremely preoccupied with death. He frequently says shit like this alluding to it. No-one notices.

“Because if you don’t, I’m going to tell the fangirls about the treatment we’ve received today and unleash them upon your establishment like a plague of locusts! They’ll harass you, humiliate you, and chase your wrinkled, old, racist ass into hiding for the rest of your miserable existence! Do I make myself clear?” Um… what? Why would you even?

“Of course the brakes worked, I was just fucking with you,” Cash said. ‘Cash’ continues to be the absolute worst by making someone think she’s going to die. Of course, she somehow she also doesn’t know that James Dean died in a car accident. Sigh.

“But I think we’d know it if he was mentally unbalanced or an addict of some kind.” YOU ARE EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD AND YOU ARE A COMPLETE IDIOT. YOU LITERALLY JUST DESCRIBED ‘CASH’.

“You lose the right to humanity when you become famous. It’s just the way it is, but I’m not going to whine about it.” Except in this entire book.

“I’m transgender!” Sam declared. “I know what it’s like to have everyone treat you like something you’re not because people have been doing it to me my whole life. I’ve never met someone who could relate—but it’s like everything you just said! We’re both trapped! We’re both prisoners of unfair expectations!” These! things! are! not! comparable! Mostly because ‘Cash’ could leave that life any time, Sam won’t ever stop having to deal with being trans. Shut the fuck up CC. Sam then spends waaaay too much time explaining gender and sexual identity to ‘Cash’ because he’s a complete moron.

Darla spoke with the energy and enthusiasm of a camp counselor on crystal meth. How is this joke in any way appropriate when the main character is clearly a raging drug addict? He’s literally constantly tweaking.

The others stared at Cash in disbelief. It was like a demon living inside of him had taken the reins. Watch as these people we’re supposed to believe all got into prestigious colleges like Colombia and MIT completely fail to recognise the signs of an addict going through withdrawal.

They had never in their lives felt more exposed, more violated, or more gutted. It was as if someone had ripped off all their clothes and chucked their hearts into the depths of the Grand Canyon. ‘Cash’ is so self-obsessed and full of self-pity he decides to out two people in the group and tell another she’s wasting her life just to make them all feel as awful as he does. What a delightful person huh?

“Joey, I have always wanted a gay best friend. I’m not mad because you hid your orientation from me; I’m just upset because of all the Will & Grace opportunities we’ve missed out on.” ARE YOU SHITTING ME?

He was staring at Topher with a weak smile and his eyes were opened just barely enough to see. He clearly knew who Topher was, but Topher couldn’t place him.

“I have glioblastoma,” Cash said. “That’s a fancy stage name for brain cancer.”

I was fine and could easily hide this until a few days ago, but now I’m so weak and frail you don’t even recognise me. Usually Glioblastoma on the brain stem causes symptoms like seizures, confusion, paralysis, vomiting, dizziness, and loss of basic functions, but I’m a special snowflake and get to stay able-bodied and cognisant until the end!

“In April I started getting these really bad migraines,” Cash explained. “A doctor came to the set and recommended I get a scan. We were behind in production so the producers wouldn’t give me time off to get it done.” It’s all Hollywood’s fault he’s dying! Not his for not getting any fucking treatment. And actors can and do take days off for health reasons, that shit is totally allowed.

“Holy shit,” Topher said. “These are all mine.… You’ve saved every letter I ever wrote to you.…” That’s not totally fucking creepy at all, ‘Cash’.

“He’s not a bad person—he’s got brain cancer! That’s why he’s been behaving the way he has!” That makes everything okay! Except not really. Cancer doesn’t give you a free pass to be an asshole. You aren’t making the most of what life you have left, you’re just being a shithead.

“The actor had had so little control over his life, but his death was exactly how he wanted it to be.” Yes, he dies five days later. No-one wondered about his odd behaviour or suspected he might be sick until they visited him in a hospice. These people must be so stupid they can barely function for this to make sense. He’s been dying for months and nobody at all noticed? Bullshit.

“Oh gosh, I’m so nervous to hear how it went! I practically feel like I came out as transgender, too!” NO MORE.

“Not to be a downer, but did anyone watch the footage from Cash’s funeral today?” Mo asked. “Why did they wait a whole month to have it?” Topher asked. “Because it was sponsored by Canon and their new camera comes out this week,” Mo said.

I don’t think companies generally sponsor funerals? Let’s just hope it wasn’t an open casket, that shit would be nasty after a month.

“Fuck off, I’m banging Marilyn Monroe.” No, god no. Please no. Just end this thing now please.

The aspiring writer felt like she and her friends were living a ridiculous happy ending straight from the final page of one of her outlandish stories. Uh…

And a bonus from the author’s note:

However, for the purpose of good storytelling, the characters’ opinions and choices are sometimes flawed. Please do not view their actions as generalizations or examples to follow, but as the mistakes and triumphs of individuals. All of my characters were awful and/or treated like shit by everyone else, but that’s for the sake of the story. It’s not my fault if you act this way and everyone hates you! (And still love me please god I’m so alone...)

[shtickysituations]

#TELLEMBOOBSBYE

Switchin’ up the typical format of my bloggerooni (moaning, ranting, list..ing?) today and presenting to you…. the FIRST EVER SHTICKY SITUATIONS INTERVIEW!!!

 *cranks up Soca Jams and humps dog aggressively* 

Two-ish years ago (wouldn’t that be such a mediocre way to start a story? “Once upon a time…I think”), I had the privilege to meet, Winnipeg born, stand-up comic and fearless LGBTQ warrior, Chantel Marostica (!!!!!THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!!). 

Since that day Chantel and I have bonded over each other’s quirky world views, candid chatter and the frustrations that arise when succumbing to overwhelming waves of anxiety and depression (aren’t we ADORABLE!?). 

Chantel has always been incredibly open and hilariously unfiltered about their struggles with mental health, as well as creating awareness and educating audiences, and comedians alike, about gender identity, sexual fluidity and the importance of creating safe spaces for people to flourish in whilst finding acceptance for themselves. 

Over the past year or so, they’ve been working hard to help reconstruct how we think in terms of rigid gender stereotypes. Not feeling completely comfortable being labelled as, strictly, a “man” or a “woman”, Chantel, like many others, feel best when gender isn’t being forced upon them, both in physicality or when being referred to. The latter is a work in progress, rife with patience, education and conditioning. In order to achieve the former, however, Chantel has decided to undergo a double mastectomy. A VOLUNTARY DOUBLE MASTECTOMY!? You wonder to yourself. Well, yes. That’s just how much of a misrepresentation and, therefore, burden they are for them. How could you deny someone the right to feel like themselves? Not I. But then again, I’ve always been more of an ass woman...err..person.

Without further ado:

Q) When did you decide you'd have enough of your boobs and it was time to send ‘em packing? 

A) I've never identified with my chest. I cried my eyes out when mom told me I'd get them in the first place. I don't know how to explain gender dysmorphia in words. You just know something isn't right. All the pieces just don't FIT. I've always been self conscious about my body and I couldn't really put my finger on why till I put on my first binder. It was so amazing to not look down and see them. I felt like me for the first time physically since I was a kid. It's a decision I've come to slowly, I don't think there's "one thing" that could happen to a person to make them question their outside matching their inside. It's an accumulation of experiences, I was born a woman, so I was raised and treated like one my whole life... until I decided to make my outward appearance reflect all the questions I had about gender identity in my head. Then I slowly came to realize I am whoever I want to be, and I don't have to be a man, or a woman, and my chest doesn't have to cause me crippling anxiety anymore.  

Q) Preach. Just curious, what’s your parents current take on the situation? 

A) This question is hard, because at the end of the day it doesn't matter what they think. Or what anyone thinks. It's so frightening to say out loud "I want a double mastectomy" it's a jarring life changing surgery and everyone's response to it... isn't great. My parents don't know what to say about it. So they don't. It's terribly lonely to experience this all without family guidance or support, but it's uncharted territory for almost everyone, unless you're gender non-conforming, gender queer or trans you can't explain or expect people to fathom your experience, which is that you don't belong in your own body. My parents will come around to it all in time, they always do, they love me so GD much, but it'll be something they "get used to" not that they'll understand or attempt to educate themselves on. It's fine though, they love me, and it's my life, my body, and my decision. 

Q) You are knocking these questions out of the park. Now, being a comic and all…Has comedy helped you get to a place of comfort with your gender and sexual identity? 

A) Comedy hasn't helped in any way. It's cathartic in general to do comedy because it's everything to me, but being non-binary is incredibly difficult to talk about on stage. Half of my set up for my jokes on the subject are a gender Ted talk I give to stunned looking straight people. Lol. On stage I have a choice of talking about it or not talking about it, I read the crowd... and also decide if I feel like "teaching" people that day, or just making them laugh... Off stage is harder. Comedians can be incredibly judgemental people, and also... uneducated people, at least on like gender and queer issues. Just a bit tone deaf. Hosts often bring me up as she, and refer to me by "she/her" pronouns, because they've either forgotten to use the "they/them" pronoun or they thought I was joking or simply just had no idea what I was talking about when I asked "can you use they/them pronouns?"  

Q) It will take time but I believe enough of us can get there. And in the meantime, what's the dumbest thing someone's said to you since you made this decision? 

A) "Are you keeping your nipples?" - Jeff Paul  lololololol honestly the funniest question EVER asked. 

Q) What's the most supportive or humbling thing someone's said to you since you made this decision? 

A) That my openness and willingness to share my experience publicly has helped them. I've had many non-binary people just thank me for saying it out loud "I didn't know that it was normal to want my breasts removed... I thought I had to be trans to want or need that," which is what I grappled with a lot too. Looking between the extreme black and white that is gender and finding comfort and normalcy in the grey was my biggest hurdle.   

Q) Beautifully said. In light of inspiring youth, if you could go back to high school what would you tell your adolescent self? 

A) To come out of the closet.... That being gay is not wrong, or gross, or something to be teased and hated for. And that all my homophobic bullies would have shitty lives, so not to get too caught up on their idiot homophobic judgements.  

TEEN PREGNANCY YA'LL. it'll GETCHA.   

Q) Are you allowed to ask the hospital to keep your post-surgery boobs like wisdom teeth? 

A) You're an idiot.  

Q) Thought I’d try and one up Jeff Paul with that. Now, I know you've been working to achieve a shift in how friends/family/performers address, refer to and introduce you. 

Could you discuss a bit about that and what that's done for your confidence and comfort in the community since enforcing this change of language? 

A) It makes my heart feel... I don't know, I feel whole when people gender me properly and use the proper pronoun. I didn't think it would feel like that. When people I don't expect to understand correct themselves after they slip up... I almost cry every time. It's so validating. It's like being seen for the first time as YOU.   

Q) What's the first thing you're going to do post-surgery when the drugs wear off? 

A) I'll probably go home and rest. It's a really intense surgery, but when I'm all healed up, I'm 💯 air brushing off all my tattoos and re-air brushing all of Bieber's tattoos on me...  and recreating every topless photo of him. Ever. #GOALZ 

Q) The fact that you love this straight, white wealthy male amazes me. Has there been anyone (in real life or in the media) who has been a steady role model for you or inspired you towards (forgive the corniness) living your truest self? That wasn’t Bieber. 

A) My trans friends and my queer family are the biggest inspiration in my life. They're all so GD brave and perfect. 

Q) What can us heteronormative snooze bores do to help standardize the conversation and support those working to achieve comfort in their own skin? 

A) Listen. Ask people their pronouns. Listen. Use their pronouns properly. Listen. Validate requests from marginalized people. Listen. Educate yourself... and yeah just listen, you can't speak for anyone's experience except your own, and you have to accept other people's experiences for what they are, opening your mind and expanding to other possibilities is the only way you can really validate and respect people whose stories are different than yours.  

In a world filled with regression, let’s piggyback onto things we have in our own control to better. Let’s BE PROGRESS. And in light of this all, Chantel is hosting an incredible show to help achieve their goal faster because Canada pays comedians in rabbit turds. And also, shows are fun. SO FUN.

THE SHOW DEETS: 

#Tellemboobsbye Chantel Marostica's Top Surgery Fund-O-Rama + Comedy Showcase The Rivoli (334 Queen Street West) Wednesday, November 15th, 2017/9PM   

Tickets - https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/tellemboobsbye-tickets-38502417768?utm_term=eventurl_text 

Or if you can’t make it and want to contribute to the surgery you can do so here- GoFundMe -  https://www.gofundme.com/