#you guys have no idea what a milestone this is for me ive been sat here waiting for this character introduction for 990 eps

[cosmicrhetoric]

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[sacredsorceress]

Milestone || Bucky Barnes

pairing: bucky barnes x avenger!reader

summary: a journey through some of the biggest milestones in yours and bucky’s relationship from the day you first met to sharing a home of your own

a/n: in this we’re gonna pretend that bucky didn’t get dusted! also reader has powers similar to those of wanda’s. reblogs and replies are super appreciated!!

word count: 3.4k

warnings: none, fluff

masterlist || request || taglist

The First Time You Met

Running down the hallway of the airport, you watched as Peter was swept off of his feet and into the air by none other than Falcon, leaving the man you recognized as the Winter Soldier in your midst. Your shoes squeaking against the floor as you stopped short, you threw your arms into the air, stopping the man from moving.

Snapping his attention towards you, he furrowed his eyebrows and you could feel him fighting against your magic. Squeezing your eyes shut you tried your hardest to keep him contained but with only so much experience, he broke through it in a minute, coming for you straight after.

“Shit.” You cursed to yourself, watching as he strode over to you.

Clasping your hands together before pulling them apart, you created a baton of sorts in just enough time to hold it in front of yourself as Bucky cornered you into a wall. Pushing him back with the beam, you grunted, trying your hardest to keep the magic from dying out.

“You’re not very good at this.” He commented, attempting to pull the magical beam from your hands.

“I’m...” You grunted. “.... new.”

Using all of your force, you shoved him back. Taking the first opportunity you saw, you began shooting blasts of magic at him while he stumbled backwards. Attempting to dodge the blasts, he moved forward, putting his hands in the air.

“Look,” He said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Watching as he stumbled backwards, closer to a ledge, you halted the blasts, tilting your head sideways.

“Lucky me.”

As soon as the words fell from your mouth, you used the rest of your force, swinging your arms backwards and then pushing forward to shove him through the railing and over the edge, his eyes wide as he fell backwards. When he fell, he took the Falcon with him. 

Glancing up above, you saw Peter, shooting a web to hold the two men to the ground. Feeling the energy in your palms, you floated down to the floor they were held to, standing above them.

“Look guys, I would love to keep this up but I’ve only got one job here today and I’ve gotta impress Mr. Stark, so I’m really sorry-” You watched as the drone took Peter’s web and pulled him through the window cutting him short, Peter screaming as it did.

Turning back to the men, you pulled the hood of your cloak over your head.

“Don’t worry about the drone thing,” You said. “I know when to see myself out.”

Turning to make your way towards the exit of the airport, you heard Bucky call from behind you.

“Hey!” He shouted. “Who are you?”

Bucky didn’t know why he was asking. He could barely even remember facts about himself, never mind keep track of every super human person he came across, but there was something nagging in his mind, begging him to learn more.

Glancing over your shoulder, looking at the Winter Soldier one last time, you smirked.

“Y/n.”

And with that you left the airport.

First Touch

The hatch to the ship opening, you stumbled down the steps, gripping Nebula’s arm to keep your balance. As Steve took hold of Tony, Pepper rushing to his side, you looked up to find the familiar face of Rhodey making his way towards you.

“I chose the wrong day to go see who Dr. Strange was.” You chuckled somberly, trying to make light of the situation.

Grabbing your arm to steady you as you slowly walked down the steps, Rhodey shook his head.

“The fight wasn't much better back here.” He said. “At least we had oxygen though. You’re not looking so good, kid.”

Too afraid to have looked at your deteriorating reflection the past three weeks, you knew he was being too kind.

It had been nearly three weeks since Thanos snapped away a half of the universe’s population, leaving you, Tony and Nebula stranded in space. You had run out of fuel weeks ago and had nearly lost hope of ever returning home as the oxygen supply began dwindling until Captain Marvel had found your ship and brought you all safely back to the Avengers Compound.

Despite being back, three weeks in space had left you exhausted, starving and dehydrated- just to name a few.

Biting back the dizziness you felt, you sighed.

“I’m- I’m fine, Rhodes.” You said, beginning to feel lightheaded. “It’s nothing-”

Missing your footing on the step, you tripped, losing your balance from Rhodey, about to hit the ground until you felt an arm wrap around your torso and the cool touch of metal grasp your hand. Looking up, you were met with the familiar face of the man you had fought two years ago at the airport in Germany, his hair cut shorter since the last time you had seen him, but recognizable nonetheless.

“Bucky Barnes?” You asked, standing up straighter with his assistance.

“Y/n.” He replied, shooting you a gentle smile.

Although you had what many would consider super-human abilities with your magic, due to being discovered after the civil war between the Avengers that had effectively split up the group- you weren't used to being recognized. Hearing your name fall from his lips felt somewhat gratifying.

“You remember my name?” You asked in disbelief

“Hard to forget the name of the woman who kicked my ass.” Bucky chuckled, helping you walk towards the doors of the Compound. “Doesn't happen often.”

For the first time in weeks you allowed yourself to smile as you gazed up at the man holding you steady, making sure you didn’t fall. When his blue eyes met yours, you adverted your gaze, turning your attention towards Natasha who wheeled a wheelchair through the doors of the Compound and towards the two of you.

Moving his flesh hand to rest on your lower back, his vibranium one still in yours, he helped you slowly ease into the chair. When you sat back in the chair, resting your feet on the footrests, you looked up at the super soldier and smiled.

“Not looking for a rematch are you?” You asked, slipping your hand out of his and resting it on your abdomen. “‘Cause I think I’m gonna need a raincheck.”

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he laughed shaking his head.

“No, I think I’m done with fighting.” He said.

Feeling Natasha pulling back on the wheelchair, about to spin your chair around and towards the doors, you threw him one last smile.

“That makes two of us.”

Just when Bucky was about to turn around and walk away as Nat wheeled you through the doors, the chair stopped and he watched as you glanced over your shoulder.

“And Sarge?” You called.

“Yeah?”

“I like the new arm.”

For the first time in decades, Bucky felt heat rise to his cheeks as he watched you tiredly speak to Natasha until you left his line of sight.

First Kiss

It had taken you nearly a month to recover from your time in space since returning back to Earth. Although you understood that there wasn’t much to be done since Thanos had wiped out half of the universe, you still felt guilty taking up space in the Compound when all you would do was lay in bed, attached to an IV. 

The one thing that made your time on bedrest a little more bearable was none other than Bucky Barnes.

Throughout your stay in bed he had consistently visited you. Though at first he was a bit shy, you had proven to be someone he could trust- assuring him that he could never be a bother to you and that you genuinely enjoyed having his company- maybe a bit too much, but you would never tell him that.

Bucky himself was surprised that he had put himself so out there with you after living such a solitary life for nearly the past 80 years, but there was just something about you that drew him to you time and time again. He couldn’t pinpoint it- whether it was your kindness, humor or intelligence- he found both joy and peace in your presence- something he had almost forgotten what it felt like to be in.

So, despite the voice in the back of his head telling him that you didn’t want to see him, he had visited you while you got better in bed, taking care of you in the littlest of ways until he watched the dark circles under your eyes fade away and your ability to walk without his assistance return.

Finally feeling somewhat better, you had insisted to bucky that you were ready to train again and no matter how many times he tried to convince you that you weren’t, he could never say no once you squeezed his hand and pouted up at him.

He was regretting not saying no to you as he now stood across from you in the training room.

“Y/n, I really don’t think this is a good idea.” He said, watching you sway in your spot despite your feet being planted to the mat.

“C’mon Barnes,” You taunted, raising your hands. “You scared?”

Just as he was about to open his mouth again, you shot a blast of magic towards him, Bucky dodging it just as it whooshed past his head.

“I wasn’t even ready!” Bucky exclaimed.

Shrugging your shoulders you formed another beam made of magic, holding either ends of it with your hands as Bucky came towards you.

Trying to plant your feet to the ground, feeling another hit of dizziness wash over you, you pushed him back with the beam, but before you could do anything more, his leg swept under yours, making you lose your balance. 

Before you fell to the ground, however, the magic in your hands diminished as you gripped your hands into Bucky’s shirt bringing him down with you.

Flipping over before you fell, you landed on top of the super soldier, your hands planted firmly on his chest. With his hands above his head that was inches away from yours, you both stared at each other- you finally noticing just how much you liked the scruff that coated his jawline and him admiring the color of your eyes and how he swore he could lose himself in them if only he had the chance.

Opening your mouth, you felt the thumping of Bucky’s heart against your fingertips that were resting on his chest as he gazed up at you.

“Your heart is beating really fast.” You whispered, out of breath despite you barely having trained.

“Yeah, it does that when I see you.”

You could barely believe what you were hearing until you felt Bucky’s hands come up and cup your face, glancing down at your lips before back to your eyes, asking wordlessly for your approval. 

Unable to form a coherent sentence, you eagerly nodded back at him.

Before you could even process it, you felt Bucky’s lips meeting yours as he pulled you into a kiss, his hands moving from cupping your face to wrapping around your body, pulling you tight against him. All you could remember thinking was that despite his tough exterior, his lips were soft and you could lose yourself in the comfort of having his arms around you all day if he let you.

Pulling away first, a beaming smile spread across Bucky’s face as he rubbed circles against your back.

“If you wanted to kiss me so bad,” He teased. “You could’ve just asked.”

First “I Love You”

Sitting on the edge of the rooftop, your legs swinging in the air, you offered the bag of popcorn in your hand to your boyfriend who was sat beside you. Taking his eyes off of the view in front of him, he grabbed a fistful of the salty treat from the bag, popping it in his mouth.

“Did you have stuff like this back in the olden times?” You asked, laying your head on his shoulder.

“What?” He asked despite his mouth being full. “You mean fireworks? How old do you think I am?”

Laughing at how he mocked offense over your question, you sat up straight, pecking his cheek.

“One hundred doesn’t sound much better, babe.”

Rolling his eyes, knowing that you loved him anyway, he brushed off the remaining salt from his fingertips, wrapping his vibranium arm around your shoulders to pull you closer to him.

Just as he pressed a gentle kiss against your temple, he jumped in his spot as he heard the loud sound of the first firework shooting up into the air over the water before “popping” and bursting into an array of color.

“Look!” You exclaimed, pointing towards the display. “It’s starting!”

Although he took a quick glance at the firework display, his attention was purely focused on you. He couldn’t help but admire the way the colorful lights reflected on your skin or how you had a hint of an open smile on your face watching as the fireworks burst midair. No show could compare to looking at you.

He couldn't help but feel his heart race in his chest, breath caught in his throat as he admired your beauty- even when you were still in your suit from watching over the parade with him earlier that evening. He was convinced there wasn’t a single thing about you that he wasn’t completely enamored with and you only gave him more reasons to love you every single day.

Before he even realized what he was saying, admiring you in complete bliss and utter awe, the words slipped out of his mouth.

“I love you.”

He thought you wouldn’t be able to hear, the sound of another firework popping ringing in his ear, but when you turned towards him, your eyes wide and mouth agape, he knew you had.

“Did you just say that you love me?” You asked, fireworks continuing to burst behind you.

Not one to lie- especially not to you- he nodded his head.

“Yeah.”

A smile beginning to form on your face, you grabbed the strap on his jacket, pulling him closer to you.

“I love you too.”

Leaning in, you pressed your lips against his, the sound of the finale of the display ringing behind you as the fireworks burst one after another in air, every color imaginable washing over your joined figures sitting on the edge of the rooftop on that cool summer night, almost as if it were taking the feeling shared between the two of you and bringing it to life for the world to see.

First Home

“Okay!” You nodded, pointing to the corner of your living room. “That one can go over there. Thank you so much for your help, Steve.”

“I helped Buck move into his first apartment, Y/n.” Steve said wiping his hands on his pants. “I wouldn’t miss stuff like this for anything.”

Smiling at Steve’s comment, you felt Bucky’s vibranium hand land on your lower back, pulling you closer. Leaning into his touch, you wrapped your arm around him in return, staring up at your boyfriend.

“Yeah and the first time he was about a foot shorter and a hundred pounds lighter.” Bucky chuckled. “This is easy for him.”

Watching Natasha set down the last box on top of a pile of the others in the kitchen, you excused yourself from your boyfriend and his best friend, making your way into the other room.

When you had left the two of them’s earshot, Bucky watching as you left, Steve rested his hand on Bucky's shoulder, squeezing it gently.

“You know,” Steve said. “I’m happy for you, Buck. I think this is gonna be good for you.”

Bucky couldn’t help but smile at his friend’s comment- despite how cheesy it was- because he knew it was true.

When Bucky’s memory had finally been cleared, a part of him had always feared that even though he had been given a new chance at life, he would never have a normal one. Although he knew “normal” was a strong term for the life you two shared together given that he was a century old super soldier and you had magical abilities- you had given him a chance at a peaceful life full of love and contentment which was all he could ever dream of asking for. 

The idea of finding love and having a family was something that he worried was left eighty years in the past, but you proved to him that life didn’t end for him when he fell from that train- if anything it brought him the beginning he had always hoped for.

“Sure you won’t miss me too bad, pal?” Bucky asked.

Taking his hand back from Bucky’s shoulder, Steve laughed shoving his hand in his pockets.

“No, I think I’m used to it by now.” Steve chuckled. “It’s just like you to be able to find a woman with shared life experience even when half the world disappears.”

Shaking his head at his friend’s joke, he shoved him playfully.

“C’mon, ya’know this is different.” Bucky said. “I think this is the last one for me.”

Without missing a beat, Steve smiled.

“I know.”

Hearing the sound of you and Natasha’s footsteps stepping back into the room, Bucky kept his mouth shut, feeling your hand run over his shoulder as you stood beside him.

“Don’t forget about me now that you have your own place, okay Y/n?” Nat said crossing her arms.

“Don’t worry.” You told her. “I’ll come visit every day.”

“Well, not every day-” Bucky interjected.

“No. I meant what I said. Every day, Nat. You’ll wish you never said anything.”

Once the laughter that had erupted in the room settled, Steve and Nat said their goodbyes to you and your boyfriend, you both waving them off as you shut the door behind them. When the door was shut and you and Bucky were left in your new apartment alone together, you rushed over to your bag by the door, pulling a neatly wrapped gift out of it.

“What’s this?” Bucky asked as you handed him the present.

“Just a little housewarming gift.” You smiled.

Gazing at your smiling face, a smile finding its way onto his, he looked down at the present in his hands, carefully tearing the paper off of the gift to reveal a framed photo of the two of you.

A framed photo of the two of you fighting in an airport three years ago on the day you first met.

“So, Tony had put a camera in Peter’s suit back before we went and fought you guys.” You explained. “And I thought it had to be gone since Peter was... you know... but it turned out that Tony still had the footage so I was able to find some from that day at the airport and in it there was this quick little shot of us fighting and I just had to have it, Buck.”

Flipping the frame around at you, he raised his eyebrows.

“A photo of us fighting?”

“Yes!” You told him. “Do you like it?”

Despite the fact that it was a photo of the two of you fighting- a fight that he had gotten his ass kicked in no less- he loved it more than anything else you could have possibly given him because it was the day he met you. It was the day his life changed and he didn’t even know it in the moment.

Although your story was far from “normal” it was your story and that’s what mattered the most to him.

“I love it, doll.” He said, pulling you into his embrace. “This is a crazy story to tell our kids though, huh?”

“All of them are.” You laughed into his chest. “But I wouldn't have it any other way, Buck. I love you.”

Pressing a kiss to the top of your head, a photograph of the day your story first began in his hand, he smiled.

“I love you too.”

[noexit-ff]

40. Part 2

This is so weird, like crazy weird “What did she say?” I said to Robyn, walking around the now wet carpet. Robyn held the phone out to me “I don’t know” she sobbed out, taking the phone from Robyn “hello?” I said down the phone “oh hi Chris, erm. I was saying to your wife to come to the hospital, no sign of her wanting to push?” she questioned “nothing, she’s not well though. Her temperature is high, she is sweating and telling me she is cold” I explained “she could have got an infection which has pushed the waters to break, keep her hydrated and bring her to the hospital we will be waiting for you both” nodding my head “we need to check the baby’ temperature too so please come now” sighing out “aight, we will come” I don’t feel I am ready for this, disconnecting the call feeling a little out of my depth with this “just stop crying please, we need to go to the hospital. I need you to put some clothes on, you not in pain are you?” she shook her head “I am just tired” touching her forehead “I can tell, just get dressed. I am going to get things together” I need to get dressed myself “Chris, wait” stopping in my tracks “Happy Birthday baby, I am sorry it’s not much” I chuckled “it’s cool babe, just be careful. Let me put your pants on for you, let me know what you want to wear” I need to call Cass, I am having a bodyguard outside that shit. I don’t want no shit being leaked out because I know what them motherfuckers are like.

Crouching down at the side of the car “here, you need to keep drinking water. We will get there” placing the bottle of water on her lap, reaching up and placing the hoodie over her head “how do you feel? I know I don’t feel it so I won’t get it but how is it?” Robyn rested her head back “I feel pressure but I don’t want to push, it’s not what I am supposed to feel. I feel like cold, tired” she mumbled out, I am so worried now “ok, we will get you there. Just hold tight” getting up from my position and closing the door, I am so fucking scared. I need to pull myself together, I need to do this for Robyn. No weak shit, I can do it. Pulling open the car door and sitting in “I am just going to sleep” Robyn mumbled “ok” putting the car engine on “you want me to call the family? Let them know so they can fly out?” Robyn nodded her head silently, I will call them but not say Robyn is not well. If I am worried then they will be worried, too much worrying. This is so foreign to me, especially when this type of shit is out of my hands and I cannot do anything to control the situation.

Stopping outside the hospital, Cass got into the car “they won’t let you in like that, you need to come in from the back with us” driving off “they strict as shit here, how is she?” Cass asked “Robyn is not well, I have no idea bro. I was telling her mom that you know, it’s time. I let it slip that she is not well and her mom is so worried now, I am so scared Cass” stopping outside the barrier “I can imagine” rolling the window down, the security guard just looked at my face, he didn’t ask me nothing and put the barrier up “Happy Birthday though” Cass patted my shoulder “thanks, I just need you to make sure nobody comes on that floor we don’t know, that room is covered. We have the two rooms at the side of the room Robyn is giving birth in, I bought them because of privacy. I wanted the floor but Robyn said I was being dramatic” seeing Sarah and a few nurses waiting “I got you, I think they are all waiting for you” stopping at the side of them “Robyn, baby. Wake up, we are here” carefully unbuckling Robyn out of the seat “I am awake” she lifted her head up, Cass got out of the car “I need water” she said, grabbing the bottled water from her lap. Opening the cap and holding it out to her, Cass opened the car door for Robyn “Robyn, it is time” Sarah said, I been waiting for this to happen but now I am scared.

Holding my am out, I just want to go back into the room with my wife “even though we know who you are we still need to put a name wristband on you, let everyone know you are the dad” the nurse said tightening the wristband around my wrist “I know you are thinking but I am the dad and you’re Chris Brown but it needs to be done” nodding my head smiling, looking down at my name “you put Christopher Brown on there” it sounds so formal “yes, and you are the bodyguard, you also need one. Even though you will be outside. Just so we know you can be here” let me go and see my wife, jogging down the hall. I stopped in my tracks as a nurse ran out of the room, I near hit into her. Holding the door open as I walked in, they got Robyn in that gown quick. This room is like an apartment, I have my own bed too. I am impressed “are you comfortable Robyn?” the guy said, I am not here for males being near my wife “yes” I can make my wife comfortable, he is not needed “hello” he seems gay “hi” walking over to Robyn’ side.

I am just sat back silently, these people know what they are doing. There is Sarah and these other two nurses, they are really doing a lot that I can’t keep up “what does that do?” I pointed at this belt they put around Robyn’ stomach “heart monitor for the baby, just look there. And you will see it, any minute” looking up at the screen “there we are, look at the healthy heart beat there” smiling a little, I am happy to hear that “so what is happening, is my wife ok?” I just need to know “sorry, I just needed to check the baby. He is fine, nothing to worry about but” Sarah said, I hate the word but “the labour hasn’t started but Robyn has got a fever, an infection. We will keep a close eye on the baby and Robyn’ temperature, so she is on an IV drip and Antibiotics. I am going to give it a few hours, the IV hopefully will push the birth but right now she is not in labour. I don’t want to wait too long, Robyn being ill can and will get to the baby making the baby have the fever. I don’t want to wait too long on this, we will need to induce her if the labour does not happen. If it worsens then we will look to do a caesarean section” frowning at her “a what?” I said in confusion “it’s where we will need cut open the stomach and get the baby that way but no need to worry right now, we just need to monitor Robyn. Only reason why we would do such a thing is to bring the baby into the world if we feel the baby is at risk, or the mother is not strong enough” Robyn has fallen asleep and left my ass to worry, this is a fucked up situation.

Sitting in the chair just watching Robyn sleep, I am worried that because she is not well then the baby will not be well either. I am worried for the both of them, I don’t understand how she even got this infection, was it me or is it because we went out. I should have kept her at home, it may be my fault. Hearing a light knock on the door “boss!” Cass shouted from outside the door, getting up from the chair “come in” walking over to the door, the door opened “your mom and family are here” he pointed down the hall, poking my head out and seeing the happy birthday balloons. A smile crept on my face leaving the room “oh look, my son” my mom pointed, I think the nurse was stopping her “Mr Brown, we was just saying how Rihanna needs all the rest and just some peace” the nurse said “I got you, I will make sure they go in the waiting room” placing my arm around my mom “Happy Birthday my handsome boy, oh I can’t believe you have hit another milestone in your life and you are about to be a dad, my heart is so happy” moving back from the hug “appreciate it everyone, y’all can’t come in the room. Let’s go in the waiting room” I ain’t going to speak in the hallway, I just want to get back in the room.

It’s nice to see Keeis, Aaron, Robb, Austin, my aunties and uncles all here “appreciate it, y’all flew out from VA that quick. Must have been ready?” rubbing my hands together “I had my bags packed, got the call and flew out with these” Christine said “thank you, so yeah Robyn is in the room. She is not in labour, the waters have broke but she is not giving birth exactly. She is asleep on a IV line and antibiotics, she has actually come down with a fever” my mom gasped “oh baby, no wonder you have this worried look on your face” nodding my head “yeah, she is asleep right now and I am just a little worried but the baby is ok for now. I don’t know how she even got ill, it was out of nowhere, Robyn was literally fine. So yeah, I am just worried and just need to be quiet for her” I hope they understand, same will happen with the Barbados family when they come.

Opening the door to the room “don’t push me in” I said to my mom, she is so rough “oh my poor baby, look at her. She looks like she has given birth already” furrowing my eyebrows “don’t say that mom, you’re supposed to be supporting and making me feel positive” my mom walked over to the bed “she is in good hands Chris, they will act on anything they feel is wrong so stop worrying. Did you put her hair up? This looks like a man did it” rubbing my neck “well, she said for me to do it. I ain’t know what to do, I couldn’t get the bun right” my mom chuckled “you think she will mind if I fix it?” shaking my head “fix it, better then what I did” putting my hands in my pockets “you going to spend your birthday worrying now, real life issues. No clubbing or having fun anymore” turning around “I know mom, I am not upset about it. I just want to make sure Robyn is good mom, you know I ain’t finna do anything if something goes wrong with my wife, if lose her” my mom shushed me “you are more dramatic than tootie, be quiet” my mom scolded, Robyn woke up “it’s just me sweetie, men don’t know a thing. Your hair wasn’t good” Robyn smiled at my mom “you sleep baby” my mom said “hey, Chris” hearing someone high key whispering, moving my head to the side seeing Aaron “what?” what the hell is he doing “look, we got cake. Can we sing Happy Birthday to you” why do I have stupid cousins, Cass opened the door wider “I’ll come out there, you legit bought me candles and cake?” seeing Keeis behind him and they really have “let them come in” Robyn said shifting up on the bed, my mom pulled the covers up for Robyn “come in, Robyn said you can” they need to go really.

Rubbing my chin “let me guess, mom got the baby picture on there. I knew it would be a Joyce thing” my mom hit my arm “you will always be my baby, look at you. My heart” smiling down at the innocent Chris before he grew up “I appreciate though” turning around to Robyn “I have in that bag, Austin. There is a box, get it out for me” Robyn said to him, Austin got up so I quickly sat down next to Robyn’ bed “is this it?” He held up, Robyn nodded “give it to Chris, I will obviously make it up to you” taking the box from Austin “you know I didn’t want anything, I am good with that” looking at Robyn, I just want her to be better “and baby open this” my mom placed a wrapped gift in my lap “seriously, why y’all buy me things. And cards” shaking my head smiling, they are doing the most “Happy Birthday to you” my sister started singing and then the rest started, busting out laughing “y’all sound bad, come on” my sister bought the cake over “was this planned?” I questioned “Happy Birthday Chris! Happy Birthday to you” I can’t stop smiling “make a wish and mean it, come on. You still little” licking my lips blowing the candles out “thank you everyone, honestly. I will remember this day, eventful day of course” my family really did this for me “well baby, I was going to give you the gift and cake today so we bought it here” my mom said, no wonder it was all set out.

Opening the box from Robyn “wow, this is beautiful” touching the diamond chain “that is platinum and diamond, but I will make it up to you Chris” she said, shaking my head closing the box “don’t babe” getting up from the chair and pressing a kiss on Robyn’ lips “thank you, it looks beautiful and expensive as fuck” sitting back down “now let’s see what Joyce got me, Desean is it wack?” I asked while placing the box on the side and picking up my mom’ wrapped gift “looks a little on the thin side mom” my nephew laughed “uncle I helped pick, it’s good” squinting my eyes and ripping open the paper and seeing two square boxes, one smaller than the other “if this is some cubic zirconia kind of thing mom, I won’t be impressed” my cousins busted out laughing “will you just open it, you’re so rude” opening the bigger box first “awww mom, that is too much” she spent money on me, a lot. Holding up the chain that have my initials on it “I got it made for you, it’s gold and diamonds. It’s big too” nodding my head “that is dope mom” I didn’t think she would think that deep on things “open the smaller box, you will see why” placing the chain back in the box and then opening the smaller box “awww look at that C M B Jnr, awww mom. I love it” I actually love this, getting up from the chair “thank you so much” I am so impressed.

Robyn fell asleep again even though the family are being loud as shit “Chris” Sarah waved at me, getting up from the chair “yeah, they going now. I know” I know what she is going to say “thank you, I am just going to check her over now so please” turning around “aight, y’all need to go. I will message my mom if anything ok? I appreciate y’all all coming out and it meant a lot to me for the birthday cake” Aaron hugged me “stay strong cuz” hugging him back “thank you” hitting Austin’ arm “shouldn’t you be in college? Coming out here for” I chuckled hugging Robb “keep in contact with us” Robb said “I will, and the videos y’all did. Keep it to y’all selves, it’s private” I pointed “like we was going to do that” Tootie side eyed me, hugging Tootie “but baby, I am putting the picture of me kissing your cheek. You can’t see anything there” my mom said “but you can see I am in a hospital, just don’t” my mom better not, but knowing my mom she will.

Putting the gifts away while they did their tests, they been doing it for a while “ok so no change, your temperature is coming down. Hopefully down to a safer number, just rest more Robyn” turning around to hear what Sarah is saying “we are going to give twenty four hours, hopefully to see movement or we will induce you. You need to eat too, bring some energy back in you and ready for the main event. The baby seems very content in staying in your stomach, he is very comfy” my smile grew “it must be luxury in there” I said, I didn’t say anything as stupid “only fit for a king” Robyn said smiling at me “I get to taste every so often” it naturally slipped out of my mouth “ok, so I will leave you both. Someone will be over shortly because you need to eat” Robyn shook her head at me “your first strike” Robyn pointed at me “what happens at the third strike?” this is testing, I want to know “push it and you will find out” that is easy for me, I will say something stupid again very soon.

It’s like hotel service here, Robyn ate and is now having a little snooze but that means her snoring for the gods again. She lucky I love her because it’s not cute but it’s the weight, it has to be because she loud and her double chin is out. It’s been leaked out anyways, Rihanna is giving birth. It’s everywhere and my lovely mom put the picture up but I don’t care, Jen text me and said they won’t let her in and I said after we have eaten I will come down, that was an hour ago “Chris” Robyn said, her voice so hoarse. Looking up at Robyn from my phone “my mouth is dry” she said in a whisper “well babe, that is what happens when you have your mouth open and you snore” Robyn side eyed me “second strike, you work fast” she should know me by now “Chris” passing Robyn the bottle of water “thanks but I am feeling like I am getting better but please, when things get hectic or they knock my ass out or if I get worse. Please don’t let them do C-section unless it’s life threatening, these doctors think shit is fine but I don’t want that shit. I don’t want my stomach cut open, I am scared. I am trying my hardest here to get better, I am trying to show them I can and I can. Chris you need to be by my side and listen to me, I heard you talking to your mom. Shit will be fine, I know it’s scary and I am scared but I need you to be strong for me. If god decides that my life is over with then fine because I don’t think I could live with knowing another baby has died in me” shaking my head getting up from the chair “I don’t want to hear that shit, man. Why talk that, I don’t want the baby. I want you, you ain’t leaving me here so stop it” I don’t want to hear such shit right now.

[tv-kitchen]

My TV Childhood: Channel 9 (WGN)

When I would make my way around the analog dial as a kid, the first three channels I'd hit were the big three networks: 2 (CBS), 5 (NBC) and 7 (ABC). If nothing there caught my fancy, I'd enter the mysterious world beyond network television--the uncharted territory of… local channels. And no channel got much more local than Chicago's Very Own, channel 9 (WGN).

Even though it was one of the original "superstations" broadcast to cable subscribers nationwide, WGN was unmistakably a Chicago brand through and through. The call letters drew inspiration from the Chicago Tribune, aka the World's Greatest Newspaper, whose then parent company, Tribune Media, also owns WGN--for now, at least. (The newspaper today falls under a spinoff company called tronc; it's all sort of a mess.)

But as WGN falls prey to the current trends and tragedies of modern media, the brand for me will always be a gateway into the past, a fulcrum of my nostalgia not just for how I was introduced to television, but to the city of Chicago itself.

Looking back, I can trace many milestones of my pop culture perspective to shows and moments that ran on channel 9.

The Bozo Show

For the children of Chicagoland, being in the audience for a taping of The Bozo Show was the grade school equivalent of getting tickets to Saturday Night Live. The wait list for The Bozo Show was eight years long. Eight years! The demand was so high that when a couple learned they were expecting a baby, their first step wasn't to create a registry, but to send away for tickets to The Bozo Show.

My grandmother had done just that when my mom was pregnant with me, and a few years later, her foresight paid off. We would always watch The Bozo Show before school while we ate breakfast, eagerly awaiting the day we'd be in that audience, and now the day had arrived. We were going to The Bozo Show! I think I was around 7, which would put my brother around 3. My mom drove us into the city to the WGN studio, which was probably even smaller and cheaper than I remember.

I do vividly recall my mom commenting on how funny it was to see the actor who played Bozo, Bob Bell, smoking a cigarette in full costume during commercial breaks. (The voice of Krusty the Clown, by Chicago native Dan Castellaneta, was based on Bell.)

We sat on wooden bleachers and hoped we'd get picked to play the show's highlight segment, the Grand Prize Game. It's funny to think back on how legitimately thrilling it was to watch 6-year-olds throw Ping-Pong balls into buckets. But it was all in the hopes of winning childhood's version of "The Price Is Right" pulling the curtain back on a new car. If you hit bucket number 6, you would win… A NEW BIKE!

Nobody won the grand prize that day, and the rest of the show was largely forgettable. But that didn't dampen the excitement that we had been there live, which also meant WE WERE GOING TO BE ON TV. They told the parents what date the show would air, and we started counting down. Because the studio was so tiny, we knew we got on camera at some point.

The morning arrived. The show started. We didn't see ourselves, so we kept watching. Then the Grand Prize game started. Wait, these aren't the same kids. Then one of the contestants won the bike. Our kid didn't win the bike.

This wasn't our show.

Did we have the date wrong? Maybe? My mom called the station.

She hung up furious. They told her there was a mix-up at the station, and our episode got taped over. Which meant it was gone. Forever.

We of course were crushed, but I think my mom took the news the hardest. And now as a parent, I understand why. This was a moment she'd been anticipating for years, to give her children a memory of a unique, growing-up-in-Chicago experience. And now because of a mundane clerical error, she could never get that moment back.

The experience became family lore for decades to come. And in a way, that probably made it more special than if we'd actually seen our episode. My mom never quite gave up her grudge with WGN, but fortunately for me, they quickly won me back over.

Cubs Baseball

Throughout my childhood, WGN was the exclusive local TV and radio home of the Chicago Cubs. Harry Caray and Steve Stone narrated many of my summers, calling the games in their trademark styles: Harry with his bombastic, drunk enthusiasm and Steve with his nasal voice of reason.

My Cubs fandom hit its peak in 1989, when the team won the NL Central division. I was between 7th and 8th grade, which meant I was too young to have a summer job, but I was too old to be out riding my bike around the neighborhood. As a result, I spent many bright, sunny afternoons parked in front of the TV watching the Cubs.

Looking up WGN's opening titles from that season on YouTube took me right back to my old family room, an awkward preteen putting off the complex and inevitable task of growing up by immersing myself in the simplicity and structure of baseball.

"It Sounded Like a Freight Train"

Midwestern children in the '80s were taught to fear two things: strangers and tornadoes. For the latter, our schools would subject us to twice-yearly drills, sending us into the hallways to crouch among the dusty spiderwebs under our coat racks. We were well-versed in the difference between a tornado watch (conditions are right for a possible tornado) and a tornado warning (a funnel has been spotted). And, of course, we had seen the classic meteorology documentary The Wizard of Oz.

Once we got cable and had access to this remarkable new concept called The Weather Channel, my brother, Drew, became fascinated with weather. Specifically, weather videos. He would watch any coverage of storm chasers, hurricane trackers, you name it. So when WGN produced a whole hour just about tornadoes, Drew set the VCR. Which is why for a few weeks in 1991, I became very well acquainted with “It Sounded Like a Freight Train.” The show was hosted by WGN's--and arguably Chicago's--most respected meteorologist, Tom Skilling. I think at one point Drew basically wanted to be Tom Skilling when he grew up.

Skilling is still working and a few years ago, Drew submitted a question to his Chicago Tribune weather column. Skilling published it with his answer and I think for Drew it's pretty much been downhill from there.

WGN Movies

One of the great legacies of local stations is the hours and hours of airtime they filled by running old movies. I'm sure I watched countless movies on WGN over the years, but two will always stand out.

If I had to trace my interest in comedy to one moment, it would be the night my dad and I were flipping channels and found Airplane! on channel 9. "Oh, this movie's so funny. Have you seen it?" I hadn't, so we stopped and watched. It was right in the middle of this scene, when the flight attendant plays a song and keeps knocking out a sick girl's IV as she swings her guitar. It had just started, and I remember my dad starting to laugh anticipating the joke, and when that first swing hit I was right there with him. Even once I knew the joke was going to repeat, the scene is so expertly timed and performed that by the end, I was crying laughing.

To this day, Airplane! is one of my all-time favorite movies, in large part because it triggers such a happy memory of sharing that moment with my dad, the type of happy accident that's quickly fading from the way we all watch TV today.

On the far less humorous side, WGN used to have an annual showing of Amadeus. As a young piano student, I had learned about Mozart and thought it'd be fun to watch a movie about him. Of course, Amadeus is a dark, dramatic portrayal of Mozart and his rivalry with Salieri--and it quickly became my favorite movie. You know, like most 10-year-olds.

I taped the movie one year and watched it so many times that if I come across the full version now, I know exactly where WGN inserted their commercial breaks. (I'm super fun at parties.)

SCTV

When I became interested in obsessed with Second City around 1990, I was thrilled to find out WGN ran repeats of SCTV. The catch: They were filler, so they ran at odd times overnight. So every week when we'd get our new TV Guide, I would scour each night's listings for channel 9 to find exactly when SCTV was running that week. Then I'd set the VCR--MANUALLY, mind you--for each night's episode.

Nick at Nite also occasionally ran SCTV, but for some reason I had a stronger connection with those WGN reruns. I think it's not only the Chicago connection, but because SCTV was about a low-budget local station, not too dissimilar from WGN. The show poked fun at local programming and personalities and satirized many of the old movies and movie stars I saw first on channel 9.

Which brings me to…

The Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon

As a kid, I was introduced to Jerry Lewis two ways: 1) Martin Short's impression of him on SCTV and 2) the Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon.

I had no idea who Jerry Lewis was. I thought he was just a guy who hosted this telethon each year. And being such a huge fan of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, I thought Ed McMahon's presence on the telethon each year was a really good get. This event must be really special if they got Ed McMahon.

In truth, it was a really special event. Despite Lewis' not-so-amicable split with the telethon in 2011, the decades he spent prior hosting--many years for the full 20+ hours--make up a remarkable philanthropic legacy. I remember getting legitimately choked up when they would do a leaderboard tally and reveal a new record-setting amount of money raised. My mom usually gave in when Jerry himself got emotional every year during his trademark "You'll Never Walk Alone" closing song.

Back during the '80s, it wasn't common to see children with special needs on TV. Because of the Jerry Lewis telethon, I realized how many families were living with incredible challenges and how very lucky I was. While he will be remembered first and foremost for his comedy, I'm thankful to Jerry Lewis for introducing me to caring and compassion.

Today, social media has made disability awareness and charity fundraising part of daily life. The Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon was simultaneously a throwback to the old days and ahead of its time. This Labor Day weekend, the first since Lewis' death on August 20, I'll be remembering both his legacy of giving and the experience of watching the telethon on channel 9 with my family. It was another moment when I had a touchpoint to my parents' youth, watching a star they grew up watching, too. I sense there won't be many moments like that with Archie, many more entertainers like Jerry Lewis, or many more stations like WGN. Unlike any other number on the dial, channel 9 helped shape who I am, both in the programming and in how it connected me more deeply to the people around me: my parents, my brother, my city. WGN is part of the reason that no matter where I live or how far I am from home, I'll always be one of Chicago's very own.