#you gotta suffer 600 words of angst to get to the smut

[separatist-apologist]

All Of Me Changed Like Midnight

Summary: When Elain Archeron has one disastrous night with Azriel as a teenager, the long-standing crush she'd been harboring vanishes.

Five years later, Azriel is back, and he wants to redeem that night.

Happy Halloween! It's nice to have this out of my brain.

Beta'd by @the-lonelybarricade! Read what critics are saying: HES AN ASSHOLE AND ITS MAKING ME FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM FUCK and AZRIEL IS SO MUCH BETTER WHEN HES ON HIS KNEES HNNNG

Read on AO3

Elain Archeron took a breath—and then another. 

“Did…are you finished?” she asked timidly, raking her fingernails through the dark hair over her. 

“I–” Azriel halted, his expression unreadable in the dark. 

Oh.

Having spent the better part of a year listening to her eldest sister's soft moans from the bedroom beside hers, Elain had expected…something. More, maybe? She’d sought Azriel out on purpose—he was so handsome, her long-time crush and Cassian, Nesta’s boyfriend’s best friend. She wasn’t the only girl at school who watched him. Azriel was easily the best looking boy at school. 

She’d just assumed that like Cassian, he knew what he was doing.

But maybe not. 

“It’s fine,” she lied, suddenly embarrassed and frustrated. “It was—” quick? Underwhelming? Not what she expected? “Good.”

He cleared his throat, sliding himself out of her body quickly. Elain watched, rising up on her elbows. How quickly a crush could evaporate, she realized. The kissing had been good—really good, even—but everything else had happened too fast. She thought that was just passion, but she wondered now if this was just who he was. He’d gotten what he wanted, at any rate.

And some little part of her was resentful. 

“You should probably go,” she whispered as he trashed that condom. He whipped around to look at her, though if it was relief or frustration, she couldn’t tell. They’d turned  off all the lights.

“My dad will be home soon.”

That was a lie. Her dad would be gone all night. She’d be home alone just like she’d planned. Stupid to think Azriel could keep her up for even a third of it. She’d read too many romance books, she chided herself. This was real—he was real, and this was done. 

“I’ll uh…I’ll call you?” he whispered with that midnight voice. Elain drew the blankets to her chin.

“Sure.”

She had no intention of repeating this. Once was enough, she decided. Or, some mean voice whispered in her mind, he had no intention of calling at all. Just something he told all the girls to make them feel better. 

Elain just wanted him to go so she could turn on the television and pretend the whole thing never happened. He’d taken her virginity, and at least that was done. Maybe the next person would draw those sounds from her. Maybe she’d feel something besides surprise and mild discomfort. 

He dressed himself quickly, as if he, too, was desperate to escape. She kept her eyes on anything but him. Even when Azriel came towards her and pressed a kiss to her forehead, Elain didn’t look. 

“I’ll see you around,” he murmured, fingers stroking her cheek. Elain very gently pulled herself out of his grasp.

“Sure.” Lie, lie, lie. 

And that was it. Elain waited until she heard his bike start up, the bright lights illuminating her bedroom until he pulled out of the drive. Only then did Elain make her way to the shower to clean the smell of Azriel’s masculine cologne off her body.

And forget the whole thing entirely.

[5 years later]:

Elain halted in the vestibule of the church, hands sweating at the sight of the best man. Azriel gazed down at her with cool, hazel eyes. Rehearsal, this was just practice—She didn’t know what to say to him. The last time they’d spoken was the day after their ill-fated night together. He’d asked what she was up to, she’d brushed him off, and that was that. He’d gone back to…whatever it was he did with his free time and Elain forgot all about him. 

Five whole years. Had she thought he’d been a man back then? She might have laughed had she not been so nervous. She felt awkward. There had been other men since Azriel—some much better, some a lot worse—and yet he was the first.

“Elain,” he said by way of greeting. Clearly there was no awkwardness on his end. The smirk on his stunning face annoyed her.

Yeah, yeah, we had sex. So what? 

She lifted her chin in the air. “Azriel.”

“Long time, no see,” he pressed, coming to stand just beside her. She glanced over at the tall, muscular man just beside her. Her heart pounded against her ribs, though that was just anxiety and nothing else. It was ridiculous how attractive he was. High cheekbones, a full, sensual mouth, and those hazel eyes that had always made her weak—set in his warm, golden brown skin. The light reflected off his inky hair, reflecting blue against this strands. He offered her his arm, revealing hands that were truly massive. 

Just my type.

Had she not known what it was like to sleep with him. Elain slid her hand over the crisp material of his suit, and the pair stepped from that linoleum room into the church Nesta would be wed in. No one sat in any of the pews as they passed. This was just practice for tomorrow so everyone knew the whens and wheres.

And most importantly—no one embarrassed Nesta on the most important day of her life. 

The walk seemed to stretch on for an eternity, each step aging Elain by a decade. The familiar, masculine scent of Azriel invaded her senses until she was awash in memories she’d mostly forgotten. 

Add that to the general aura of danger he’d always exuded, and the tattoos peeking from the neckline of his suit, and Elain practically ran to her place on that dias. Cassain was already there, casual in comparison with his best men. When Azriel approached, her soon-to-be brother-in-law winked at his friend, a smile curling over his face. 

It was all forgotten when Nesta stepped in. Dressed in a white, lacy sun dress, Nesta looked stunning.

“Fuck yes, Nes!” Cassian called over the music. 

Nesta threw her hands up in the air. “You better not do that tomorrow!” Her narrowed, blue eyes seemed to gleam silver with warning. Cassian only chuckled.

“If I don’t, I’m gonna cry.”

“I think she’d prefer the crying,” Elain offered as Nesta continued her descent towards Cassian. He only looked at her, shrugging powerful shoulders. Elain was reminded that fundamentally, weddings were boring to everyone but the two people getting married, and her feet ached from the shoes she’d chosen to wear. 

She kept herself from fidgeting. As the maid of honor, she set the example. If Feyre realized Elain was bored, who knew what sort of shenanigans might erupt? Elain was delighted when the whole thing was over and Nesta began splitting them up to drive to the restaurant. Elain and Feyre had come together, and Elain stupidly assumed they’d go back together.

She ought to have known Feyre never missed an opportunity to spend time with Rhysand. 

“I—”

“Elain can come with me,” Azriel interrupted her smoothly, a hand resting on his stomach. “I didn’t bring the bike.”

“Perfect,” Nesta declared, turning back to Cassian. “Meet there in thirty?”

“In thirty?” Elain gasped. “The restaurant is a block away.”

“Read the room, Archeron,” Azriel murmured, putting a warm hand on her elbow. “They want to be alone. I’ll drive around the city…you can tell me what you’ve been up to since we last saw each other.”

Her heart took off again. Anxiety crept up the back of her neck, burning every inch of her skin. He led her into the warm night, vanishing into shadow for a moment. Elain, like she’d done the last time she’d seen him, kept her eyes on the concrete beneath her feet until Azriel pulled open his car door. 

She slid into the leather interior, drinking in the rich, spicy smell that seemed to permeate everything he owned. Maybe she should have gone with Rhysand and Feyre. Sure, they would have spent the whole time arguing as some form of strange foreplay. Anything was better than the tension between her and Azriel. 

“We could just go early,” Elain tried when he started the ignition. “Order something to eat?”

He didn’t respond to that. Azriel pulled into the hazy night traffic, one hand gripping the wheel, the other resting against his own thigh.

“What have you been up to, Elain?”

Oh God. “Nothing much.”

“No boyfriend?”

She scoffed. “Is that what you wanted to know? All these years—”

“I want another night with you,” he interrupted smoothly. Elain’s stomach splattered at her feet.

“What did you say?”

“A do-over,” Azriel repeated. “To rectify my past mistakes.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Elain lied, forcing herself to stare at the oncoming traffic blurring past.

“No? Did you come, Elain?”

She shivered. “Oh, did we have sex once?” she lied, licking her lips. His dark chuckle forced her knees together. Elain wondered if she was trapped in some sort of incredibly vivid hallucination. Surely no one would be so bold. Certainly not the guy who had made her first time so ridiculously disappointing. 

Her words had the opposite effect of humbling him. “If you’ve forgotten, then you didn’t come. Let me settle the score between us.”

“There’s no need,” she insisted, slapping a bright smile on her face. “Seriously. It’s ancient history. I never think about it.”

“You sure know how to make a man feel good about himself. My pride won’t let me forget it.”

“Have you tried therapy?” Elain asked, looking over at him. Mistake! Her brain screamed. Azriel’s eyes were so impossibly dark, that chiseled jaw clenched tight. She clenched her fingers into fists, letting her nails dig into her palm so hard it dragged her back to reality. 

Azriel was determined to keep her in that in-between world. His free hand slid over her knee, warm fingers pressed against the fabric of her dress.

“Is this how you want to make it up to me?” Elain demanded, grabbing his wrist when he began pushing her gown up over her leg. His fingers continued pulling at the fabric, revealing inch after inch of skin. “In your car?”

“In my car…the restaurant…and then in my bed,” he agreed softly. “I want you on my fingers, my face, my tongue and then I’ll have you on my cock…” he trailed off as she released her grip on his wrist, half trembling at his words. 

“Az—”

“Spread your legs, baby,” he murmured, the word more command than plea. “Let me see how wet you are.”

“I’m not,” she said, though her legs seemed to operate outside of her control. They spread obscenely wide. Azriel chuckled, sliding one of his fingers up the seam of her pussy.

“Liar,” he crooned, taking those wet fingers and smearing them over her lips. “Taste yourself, tell me if it's sweet.”

“Azriel,” she whispered, not daring to respond to that. His fingers were back between her legs, stroking everywhere but where she wanted him. Elain might have laughed—all talk, even after all those years apart. She swallowed, deciding she’d count to one hundred, fake her orgasm, and call it a night. She could take a cab home before he realized she was gone.

The light in front of them turned red just in time for Azriel to slide finger over her clit. Elain’s eyes flew open, head jerking to look at him.

He accessed her with a predator's gaze. “Nice try,” he whispered, leaning over the console between them to lick just behind her ear. “You can’t fake it with me.”

“Azriel,” she began, unsure what she’d even say. Pleasure bloomed low in her gut, drawn with each new circle of his lazy finger. Azriel touched her like he had all the time in the world.

“Just like that, baby,” he praised. “I love the way you say my name.”

The light flickered green, though they might have still been stopped for how his hand continued to work. How he was splitting his concentration, Elain couldn’t say.

Didn’t care, so long as he didn’t stop rubbing. She was utterly indecent, legs spread wider to give him better access to her body. He didn’t react at all—didn’t grab her hand and demand she stroke him, didn’t betray he felt any lust at all.

It was strange, but it put her at ease. She could focus on herself without worrying about him or his pleasure. Elain very much wanted to be selfish. She lifted her hips into his touch, rolling in a mimicry of fucking that she couldn’t wholly control. Instinct took over some of her actions, letting pleasure override whatever common sense urged her to stop this.

“You’re making a mess of my seat,” he chuckled, his voice low and rich—dark, like the night around them. He might have been made of ribbons of shadows, might have been fluid for how he moved against her.

“That’s it,” he whispered when she whimpered, her pleasure undeniable. “Come for me, Elain.”

His fingers sped up, moving in tight circles over her clit. Over and over, inescapable as he pushed her closer to the edge. Vaguely, Elain had some awareness that the car had stopped moving, though in truth the only thing she truly knew in that moment was him. His hands, his scent, his presence. 

“You’re such a pretty girl,” Azriel whispered, his face close enough she could smell something distinctly sweet on his breath. “Come all over my hand, Elain. Be my good girl and come for me.”

That did it. Elain arched, hips bowing off the seat as she gripped his arm. Her whole body ignited, fracturing into spools of violet flecked midnight. It was pleasure and it was pain all at once, locking her body as he rode her through it. 

She shoved at his hand when pleasure eroded wholly to pain. Azriel lifted his fingers obscenely to his mouth, sucking them clean with such obvious delight.

“Just like I thought,” he murmured, eyes never leaving her face.

It was jarring to see the fluorescent lights of the restaurant right in front of them. They were ten minutes early. Jesus Christ, but how long has he been fingering her? Forcing her heart to settle, Elain shoved her dress back over her knees.

“Where was that five years ago?” she demanded, wanting to humble him.

He chuckled. “What does any virgin know about pleasuring a woman?” he replied. Elain’s heart stuttered.

“Virgin?”

Some of his amusement faded into uncertainty. “Yes. You were my first.”

She had to resist running a hand down her face lest she smear her makeup. “You…but I just assumed…”

“I was eighteen,” he replied, so obviously confused. “Why would you assume I wasn’t?”

She gestured at his face helplessly. “You were so…”

“Shy?” he supplied. “Nervous around girls? Yes, I see how you would confuse that with game.”

“Cassian was—”

“Your sister was his first, and I have it on very good authority he was just as embarrassing. I wanted to rectify that night, but you wouldn’t talk to me. I suppose I know why.” He laughed, like the whole thing was funny. Elain wrenched open the car door, unsure how she felt. 

Ashamed, maybe? 

But that wasn’t it. 

“I’m not done with you,” Azriel called when she stepped into the darkness. She slammed the door in his face, shivering all the same.

It was want. Pure, undiluted want that was flooding through her. Elain was grateful when she saw Nesta’s friends Emerie and Gwyn sitting inside when she arrived. She planted herself between Mor and Emerie, facing Gwyn so there was no room for Azriel to sneak himself beside her and continue his torment. If it bothered him, Azriel gave no indication. He holed up at the end of the table, ordering a drink with a smirk that sent the waitress running to fill his order.

Ass. 

Cassian and Rhys weren’t far behind, joining their friend while the rest of the bridal party squeezed together. Elain could almost forget what had happened in the car. Watching Mor flirt with Emerie certainly helped soothe the buzzing between her legs. And the waitress was so shamelessly flirting with Azriel and Rhys that Elain could pretend this was just who Azriel was. He’d gotten to finger her in the car and now he was trying his luck with the waitress, too.

And maybe that was what prompted her to take that first shot of tequila from Mor.

And the second.

And then the third.

Elain didn’t dare do anymore—she was pleasantly tipsy. Any more and she’d be drunk and who knew what she’d do then. Climb into Azriels lap and rub herself against him like a cat in heat was her guess. 

She excused herself for the bathroom, phone in hand. She had the app to Uber open when she pulled open the single stall door, intending to slip out before anyone realized she was gone.

That proved difficult when a large, tattooed hand slammed against the wood. Azriel slipped between the crack, locking the pair of them in with amused eyes.

“Give me your phone,” he murmured, holding out his palm. What was wrong with her? She handed it over, letting him see the app open.

“Going somewhere?” he asked, sliding it into his pocket as he paced towards her. Elain stepped back, until she was pressed against the wall just beside the door. 

“Home?”

“With me,” he reminded her, dragging his lips over her neck. “Or have you forgotten?”

“I think I forgot,” Elain lied. He lifted his head, nose brushing her own. It was a game—one he wanted her to play along. 

“Do you need a reminder?” he asked her, kissing the corner of her mouth. She wanted him to kiss her fully—she remembered how good he’d been at that. Azriel denied her, instead sliding down her body until he was kneeling in front of her.

Elain’s breath caught in her throat. She typically had to beg a man to go down on her. Even when Azriel had said he wanted her to come on his face, she’d chalked that up to the usual male bravado. All men talked a good game—even if they were good with their hands and their cocks, they were typically shitty with their mouths. 

Azriel pushed her dress back up over her hips before reaching for her knee and hauling it up over her shoulder. Elain could barely breathe, watching him press feather soft kisses over her sensitive, aching skin. He never took his eyes off her, watching her every little reaction.

“This, I remember,” he said, staring at her body through the pair of pink lacy panties. He rubbed his nose over the fabric, teasing her until she couldn’t stand it.

Azriel pushed the fabric aside with nimble, clever fingers. “Look at your pretty, perfect pussy,” Azriel murmured when she was bared beneath his gaze.

“Az—”

“I was trying to find something on that shitty menu I wanted to eat,” he continued, eyes laser focused between her legs. “Looks like I found it.”

“Az—” her soft plea choked into a soft, garbled cry when his tongue slicked over her clit without warning or preamble. 

“Spread your legs, baby. Let me look at you,” Azriel ordered, keeping her suspended on one foot. Elain did as he asked, earning a soft swear of appreciation. His tongue slid up the center of her cunt, robbing Elain of all rational thought for the second time that night. 

“I thought I’d lose my mind,” Azriel continued, teasing the tip of his tongue over swollen, sensitive flesh. “I was seconds from crawling under that table.”

Elain arched into his face, raking her hands through his thick, dark hair while his own fingers kneaded the soft flesh of her thighs. It only heightened her pleasure. He’d avoided touching anything but her clit and Elain was desperate to know what it would feel like to be penetrated by him again. 

Her eyes fluttered shut, giving way to that fantasy. She remembered the thick, long appendage hanging between his legs. She’d been so nervous about it back then.

Now she wanted him to split her open with his cock. If he’d flipped her around, told her to grab the edge of the sink, and pushed into her, Elain would have presented her ass gratefully. He didn’t—instead, Azriel plunged his tongue into her wet, tight channel and Elain had to bite back a scream.

“Open your eyes,” he ordered, his dark voice echoing around her. “Don’t let me catch you close them.”

She couldn’t tell him that she’d been fantasizing about him—not when that tongue slid back up her center, taunting and teasing her clit until she was breathless.

“Tell me the truth about something, Elain,” he murmured, pulling his mouth off her again. Thumbs hooked into the lips of her pussy, pulling her open wider for his scorching gaze. “Are you being fucked well? All these years apart…have you been taken care of?”

She whimpered, arching into him in an attempt to get him to lick her again. Azriel only chuckled.

“That’s what I thought. Criminally underfucked.”

Elain yanked at his hair, dragging him back to her pussy with as much force as she could muster. Azriel laughed, so ridiculously handsome the sight merely heightened her pleasure. Still, he didn’t bring his tongue back.

“Tell me what you want,” Azriel whispered, kissing everywhere but where she needed him.

“Please, Azriel,” she pleaded.

“Please what, Elain?”

“Don’t stop,” she whispered, meeting his gaze. Azriel offered her one slow, languid lick before he stopped again. She whimpered, hating how badly she needed this. How every protest she’d made before now was a proven, bald-face lie.

“You want me to lick your pussy until you come?” he teased, replacing his tongue with the pad of his thumb. He rubbed torturously slow circles, the sort that kept the arousal humming between her legs without doing enough to bring her to the edge. That finger teased down her pussy, pressing against her opening without pushing inside. 

Elain wanted him to fuck her so bad she couldn���t think straight.

“Yes.”

“Are you going to come all over my tongue?”

“Yes,” she whined, bucking her hips.

He pulled away his thumb, instead plunging two of his fingers into her body without warning or preamble. Elain had to bite down on her bottom lip to keep from screaming. It was enough to convince Azriel to go back to licking, even as he pumped those fingers in and out of her body. It wasn’t enough and yet it was—it was enough to pretend it was his cock in her body, to get the phantom feel of what it would be like to grip him again.

He groaned, rubbing his tongue over her again and again until Elain was trembling, was losing herself to hot,  sparkling darkness. 

“Az, please—”

He sucked his lips around her clit and Elain was gone. She clapped a hand over her mouth to keep the restaurant from knowing what they were doing. Azriel’s fingers curled inside her body, rubbing over more sensitive flesh. There was no reprieve—one vicious orgasm became two. He was feral, hungry and Elain was greedy. She was all too happy to let him take what he wanted, to let him keep her pinned against that wall until she was boneless and sated.

He pulled away when she whimpered, her pleasure edged with pain again.

He was on his feet in a blur, his mouth slanting over her own. “I’m not done with you,” he growled, teeth nipping at her bottom lip in order to gain entrance to her mouth. Elain whined at the taste of her arousal on his tongue, the musky sweetness of it invading her senses.

“It’s too much,” she panted, positive there was no way she’d be able to come again.

Azriel’s hand closed around her neck, tilting her head as he squeezed gently. “You’ll take what I give you.”

Elain nodded her head up and down. What else could she say? She wanted him—and he knew it. There was no use pretending, no sense in denying whatever was happening between them. His fingers tightened ever so slightly in direct opposition to the sweet kiss he pressed against her mouth.

“You’re my good girl, aren’t you Elain?”

“Yes,” she panted, sliding her hands up his chest. “Let me prove it.”

She tried to slip to her knees, but Azriel held her by the neck, eyes flashing. “Don’t tempt me,” he warned. 

“I want to taste you,” she whispered. Azriel lowered his face, sliding his nose against her own.

“If you put your lips around my cock, I’ll fuck you against the bathroom stall.”

“I don’t see how—”

“I want to fuck you in my bed,” he continued, ignoring her words entirely. “Over, and over, and over,” he added, punctuating each word with a sensual, bruising kiss. Elain was practically dripping down her thighs and she suspected he knew it. 

“Now be my good girl and go back out there like I didn’t just eat your pussy within an inch of your life,” he ordered, caressing her cheek. “And when it’s time to leave, you’ll let me drive you home. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” she breathed.

Azriel smiled.

“Good.”

Walking back to the table was hell, though. Elain was certain everyone would know. They’d take one look at her and recognize what happened. She supposed that was the magic of alcohol. Everyone was too drunk and wrapped up in their own world to notice her. 

Her chair had been commandeered by Mor, and Cassian and Nesta had rearranged themselves so Elain found herself exactly where she’d once hoped to avoid.

Beside Azriel. 

He slid beside her after waiting an appropriate amount of time—perhaps thinking the same thing she had. No one noticed his return, laughing and talking over the televisions blaring and the other patrons.

Azriel reclined in his chair, reaching for his half finished beer. Elain waved away the server when she offered Elain something stronger than water. She wouldn’t risk going numb just for the sake of her friends.

Scooting her chair as close to the table as she dared, she watched Rhys pull out a deck of cards. 

“Deal me in,” she agreed, smiling at a doe-eyed Feyre. Azriel, too, nodded as he pulled out his wallet.

“Is it that kind of night?” Cassian asked, scooting closer as he drew out his own money. Nesta merely clicked her teeth, warning him not to lose too much, which earned laughter from both Rhys and Azriel. 

Elain had no interest in playing, even when Azriel politely offered her up a twenty dollar bill. 

“Thank you,” she murmured, because the table would expect her to. She put her hand on his knee and squeezed, noting how stiff he went. She wasn’t allowed to suck him? Fine. She accepted that might be too much for him—but surely she could tease him through his pants.

Elain was too pleased to find him bruisingly erect. Azriel’s face was impassive, eyes locked on his cards. He gave nothing away, though he did lean his elbows onto the table, concealing her hand further. Elain rubbed the heel of her hand against him, pleased with how he jumped towards her hand.

Not so unaffected after all. Elain folded her hand, unaware of what cards she even held. It wasn’t her money—and she didn’t care if she won or if she lost so long as he didn’t move.

“Read and weep, boys,” Azriel murmured, the utter smug bastard. Rhys and Cassian rolled their eyes, while Elain handed over her money.

“Keep it,” Azriel told her. “Play another round.”

One round turned to three, turned to five. Elain kept her up with her steady, slow teasing while Azriel continued to clean out his friends. He didn’t betray what was happening beneath the table and Elain might have thought he was unbothered had she not felt how his cock pressed against his pants. 

It was Nesta who ended the night, declaring herself exhausted. Elain removed her hand, confirmed the details for tomorrow, and then just as she’d said she would, agreed to let Azriel drive her home.

She wondered how he’d managed to conceal his cock as they walked, his hand gentle against the small of her back as she guided her towards his car. Anyone might have thought him a gentleman ensuring Elain remained steady on her feet.

She wasn’t half as drunk as the stumbling, laughing Mor. Elain was perfectly fine up until Azriel got into his car, grabbed her by the back of the neck, and began kissing her like he needed her mouth to breathe.

“Clever little thing,” he moaned, sliding his tongue between her teeth. “Trying to make me come in my pants.”

“Could you have?” she wondered, grasping either side of his face to kiss him back.

More, she needed more—

“Yes,” he groaned, hips bucking against nothing. “You were driving me to madness.”

“No one could tell,” she informed him, disappointed when he released her to start his car. Azriel glanced over at her.

“Are you worried your friends will find out?”

She shrugged. “I don’t want to distract from Nesta’s wedding.”

He nodded. “And after Nesta’s wedding?”

Elain scoffed. “Are you asking me out?”

It was Azriel’s turn to shrug, uncertainty sliding over him like a cloak. How could he have his hand around her neck one minute and then next seem so nervous over asking her out? 

“What if I was?”

“I guess it would depend on how tonight goes?”

Azriel grinned. “Start thinking about wedding venues, then, Elain.”

Her jaw dropped. “You—”

“I’m not eighteen anymore,” was his smooth, irritating reply. Elain was tempted to tell him she didn’t want to sleep with him now. That he was far too cocky for her liking—as if that were true. Crossing her arms over her chest, Elain let the pair of them fall into silence. Whatever Azriel thought of eluded her, though she wondered if he wasn’t doing the same thing she was.

Comparing her to all his past lovers. Elain hadn’t had many, and truly none were worth thinking about other than her longest boyfriend.

Graysen.

They’d dated for three years in college, breaking up just in time to graduate. How he’d wrecked her heart with his declaration that despite everything he’d said to the contrary, he actually did not want to get married.

A lie, given the last time she’d peeked at his instagram, he was engaged to some pretty, tan blonde. What a slap in the face, although, in retrospect, maybe it was for  She’d thought Graysen was as good as it would ever get. It almost made her laugh.

Almost. 

There was still time for Azriel to disappoint her. She thought about it the entire walk into his building. He slid his fingers between her own, holding her hand as they stepped into the elevator, and then his apartment. 

Clean, dark, masculine. It was exactly what Elain expected. Her heels clipped over the hardwood, her arm draped over his shoulder as he led her into his large, neat bedroom. The sound of the closed door was loud.

They faced each other, waiting for the other to speak. What could she say? 

Don’t fuck this up?

That old crush was back in full force. Tall, dark, handsome Azriel was looking down at her with those beautiful, hazel eyes. She had the benefit of knowing what it felt like to come at his whim, at least. Even if the sex was disappointing, Elain could replaced that first memory with the car and the bathroom.

The score between them was settled, whether he agreed or not. 

She went to him, kicking off her heels as she did. He caught her around the middle, holding her against his chest as she kissed him. There was an unhurried quality to the way his mouth moved against her own—like they had nothing but time. That wasn’t quite true. Elain needed to be at the hotel her sister would be staying by six am if she wanted to help Nesta get ready.

Elain slid her fingers up his chest, finding the buttons of his shirt. Azriel didn’t seem to realize she was undoing them until she pulled the rest of the fabric out of his pants. He groaned when her nails raked lightly down his bare skin, prompting him to shuck off his tie, his jacket, his shirt. 

She was already undoing his belt. She just wanted to see him like he’d been looking at her. 

“Elain,” he moaned when the belt clattered to the floor. She pushed, knocking him against the door. Pressing a sucking kiss against the hollow of his throat, she licked down the length of his body until it was her turn to kneel between his parted thighs. She undid the clasp of his pants with her teeth, just to show off a little.

“Who taught you that little trick?” he demanded, raking his fingers through her hair. 

“Jealous?” she taunted, yanking his pants and his briefs over his hips.

“Burning with it, baby.”

She shook her head. He was so ridiculous—so lovely and stupid all at once. Elain licked the underside of his cock, drawing a ragged moan from his throat. It was Azriel’s term to tremble, to be made boneless and needy beneath her touch. There was something erotic about having the powerful man over her need her the way she needed him. 

She was tempted to ask him if he was going to be good for her, too. She suspected if she took it too far, he’d drag her to the bed by her hair…and she’d like it far too much to put up any sort of fight.

“Baby, let me take you to the bed—-” his words choked into another moan. Elain licked the precum from the slit of his cock, swirling theatrically. Azriel stroked his fingers through her hair, rubbing at her scalp as he panted. He was loud, here. Loud and desperate and so utterly sexy she had her thighs pressed together in an effort to alleviate some of the arousal she couldn’t get rid of.

Elain took his cock into her mouth, unable to manage more than half of him before she began gagging. 

“Just like that, Elain,” he praised, hips thrusting ever so slightly. “Look at how pretty you are choking on my cock.”

It was her turn to moan. Dirty talk was so often cringy and embarrassing—but when Azriel said it, Elain was reduced to nothing but a wet mess. 

Azriel held her face in his broad hands, carefully fucking her throat with his cock. Ropes of saliva pulled with each sucking pass, and though she’d meant to be the one in charge, somehow Azriel had wrangled control of the situation.

“Fuck, Elain, your pretty mouth…” 

She hummed her approval, earning another loud groan for her effort. If he wasn’t going to make her bob her head up and down, the least she could do was suck and lick as much of his hard, swollen skin she could get into her throat. 

He pulled himself out of her with what she swore was a whimper. “I’ll come in that pussy the first time or not at all,” he panted, hauling her up by her elbows. Azriel kicked out of his pants and shoes, tugging her dress until she heard the fabric tear. He didn’t care that she had nothing to wear out of his place, not as she reached around for the zipper he’d neglected and pulled it down.

“Asshole,” she whispered. Azriel pushed her to the bed.

“You like it,” he replied, chasing after her up his neatly made bed. Elain was the one who removed her bra, unwilling to risk the expensive piece of clothing on his demanding hands. 

“Fuck me,” he whispered, drinking in the sight of her. Azriel reached for the bedside table and flipped on a lamp, bathing her in hazy, warm light. “Look at how fucking gorgeous you are.”

She spread her legs wide enough to let him sit between them, his gaze a brand against her naked skin. Unclothed, Elain could see nearly every inch of him was covered in dark ink. One day she’d sit him down and make her tell him the story behind each one—though she suspected she’d hear I liked it, more often than she got some cute, well-thought out memory. 

Azriel’s calloused hands covered her breasts, lips parted in absurd awe. 

“Stop it,” Elain demanded, slightly embarrassed. He tugged at her nipples, drawing a gasp for his trouble.

“I won’t,” he told her, petulant even as he rubbed his cock over her stomach. “I’ve never seen anyone half as beautiful.”

“We’ve had sex before,” she reminded him, using her own hand to grip him as he rubbed against her. Azriel’s eyes rolled into his head.

“Then you understand my desperation to have you again.”

“It was one night,” she whispered.

Explain this to me.

Azriel held her gaze before lowering his mouth to her aching, peaked nipples. “Maybe for you. Not for me. I can’t risk you leaving me again.”

Oh. 

“I don’t think I’ll get another chance,” he added, licking her skin. Elain arched into him, just as desperate. She felt wild, out of control. All she knew was if he stopped touching her, she’d fracture into thousands of splintering pieces.

They’d never put her together again. Some little part of her would always be hidden beneath his bed or tucked against his breast pocket.

Elain raked her fingers through his thick, dark hair while Azriel took his time sucking and nipping at her breasts. 

“Azriel,” she whined, rubbing her hips against the thigh he had lodged between her legs.

“I know baby,” he whispered, breath hot against her wet skin. “I feel it, too.”

She was trying so hard to get him to slide himself into her. Azriel’s iron control seemed to snap when she dragged her dripping wet pussy over the bare skin of his thigh. He pressed his forehead between her breasts, arranging himself so his cock slicked through her. Elain moaned, gripping his forearms tightly.

“Azriel, please,” she begged. 

He pushed himself in and in and in, robbing Elain of what little breath was left in her lungs. The stretch of him was exquisite, filling her until there was no space left—only Azriel. He held himself over her, watching her adjust to accommodate the sheer size of him. 

“That’s it,” he praised, careful not to crush her beneath the weight of his body as he kissed. “You take my cock so well.”

Elain dragged her nails down his back. “More,” she panted, pleading for him to give her everything.

Azriel rolled his hips, gripping her waist to hold her steady. Elain locked her legs around him, arching with each new thrust so he could drive himself into her deeper. It was what she wanted, to feel him so completely the memory of him lingered for days afterwards. 

His soft, slow strokes quickly yielded to near vengeful, furious thrusts. 

“This is what you want, isn’t it?” he moaned, pulling at her hair to arch her neck upwards. His teeth scraped the sensitive skin, lips sucking near bruising kisses. Elain whined in response, taking everything he gave her, just like he’d said she would. 

It was almost enough—but not quite. Sweat dripped from Azriel as he worked, pulling as much pleasure out of her with his cock as he could. He held her gaze, watching each breathless moan, each drag of her nails against his skin.

And when he realized she needed more, he slid his hand between their bodies and began rubbing at her swollen clit. Elain couldn’t help the series of moans that escaped her, each louder than the last. Azriel drew up on his knees, hosting her legs over his shoulder so he could fuck her while rubbing unimpeded. 

“That’s it,” he managed, unaware of how close she was. “Come on my cock, baby. Let me feel how bad you need me.”

She clenched around him, his fingers rubbing tighter and tighter circles. It was too much. She’d never come so hard or so often in her life—and this was no expectation. Elain screamed, convulsing around him. Feel planted against his chest, he held her in his hands while she bowed and bucked, trying to both get closer and escape the onslaught of pleasure.

Azriel whined, his own hips erratic. A flop of dark hair shielded his eyes like shadows, hiding the moment he, too, came. He was no quieter, erupting like some long forgotten, dark god. Elain swore she came again at the sight alone. He was so stunningly beautiful.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Azriel struggled to catch his breath, falling over her to clutch her against him. Elain didn’t dare move, still coming down. 

“I think you managed it,” she whispered, kissing his cheek. 

“Oh? Is this redemption, then?” he half teased. The look in his eyes told her he was still nervous. Elain smoothed his hair from his forehead.

“If you want it,” she agreed solemnly. 

“I do,” he whispered, lips against her jaw. “I want it so bad, Elain.”

“Ask me out, then,” she murmured, holding his gaze.

“Let me take you out tomorrow…and the next night…and the next night,” he added, some of his smugness returning.

She flicked his cheek.

But Elain agreed all the same.

“Done.”