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muwi-translates · 4 years ago

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Collar x Malice キャラクターCD ミニドラマ「二人きりの湯煙譚」

Collar x Malice Yanagi Aiji Character CD Mini Drama - A Hot Bath for the Two of Us

Spoiler free. Just a note that I used a Chinese translation as my main source, and did some light cross-referencing from the original audio. There might be some inaccuracies.

**Please don’t move this translation or claim it as your own.**

---

It's been a few months since I started dating her. Even though she’s walked, ate, and shared time with me, she rarely says anything self-indulgent so as to not be a burden to me.

Her being able to say things like “I’m happy as long as we can be together” makes me glad, but I want to spoil her more. I just want to see her happy.

Thinking this way, I invited her to go to the hot springs.

---

This is amazing.

When I made the reservation, I heard that there was a room with an unobstructed view of the Pacific Ocean, so I decided to book it. Looks like it was the right decision.

Ah, yes, it’s okay to put the luggage there.

What a strange tea sweet. These are cat-shaped manju, right? They’re cute. If you want to, you can eat my one as well. It’s alright, help yourself. You like sweet things, don’t you?

[Teacups being placed down]

Ah, thank you very much.

Here, the hostess boiled some tea for us. It’s hot, be careful not to burn yourself.

Hm? We look like we get along? Yes, I’m always being taken care of by this one. I haven’t been able to return the favour, so I’m taking advantage of this opportunity to relax a little.

What? I look like a reliable husband? Ah-- no, we’re not---

… They left...

I didn’t expect to be mistaken for a married couple. But it’s not like it’s a bad thing. It makes me happy. It would be more depressing if they thought we were siblings.

Nn? I used to treat you like a sister before? Heh, yeah, you could say that. But right now, I’m seeing you properly as a woman. To the point where I feel proud for people to think we’re married.

Haha… you’re delighted as well?

Aah, I was going to say that we weren’t married yet but--

Eh, ‘yet’ means ‘some day’? Well, yeah... you’re right. I’m seriously considering things about you. That’s why I invited you to travel--

… Hey, why are you laughing? Come here, don’t run away. You... you’re having fun watching me panic, aren’t you?

Good grief… If you tease me too much you’re going to regret it.

Hm? There’s an outdoor bath outside the room?

This is really luxurious. And it looks like it can fit two people--

---Ah, I remember the brochure said that there’s a room with an open-air bath. It must be this then. Well, how to say it, there’s a lot of different types of baths in the public area, since we’re already here, why don’t we go have a look?

---

Ha...

First it was getting mistaken as husband and wife, then it was an open-air bath attached to our room, what’s going on? Is my rationality getting tested? Before becoming her lover, it was easier for me to stay calm. Recently I feel like I get so riled up when it comes to her.

She’s way too cute in the first place that it’s bad. That expression she made when she heard that we looked like we were married was so happy that it makes me all shivery.

Just discard all the distractions and keep calm as usual.

I don’t want to suddenly get all intimate and trouble her. I was a little worried that she might be nervous about staying here when I invited her on a trip, but she looked so excited. She even said that being able to spend more time with me made her very happy. So I want her to enjoy herself with peace of mind.

---

Ah, don’t run off. I just came out. I threw away all the distra-- no, I enjoyed myself.

Did you enjoy it as well? That’s good. You must have been in a rush to get out. Your hair’s still a bit wet.

No, if you leave it like that you’ll catch a cold. Don’t move.

It’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it. As a lover, it’s a privilege to be able to do something like this.

You want to help blow dry my hair? It’s not long like yours, so it’ll dry out quickly by itself anyway.

…Alright, I’ll let you do it next time, don’t get mad. But I’d rather spoil you than be spoiled. Men are creatures that want to look cool in front of women. Especially if it’s a woman that they like.

Okay, that should be enough.

What do you want to do now? There’s still time before dinner. Do you want to go back to our room?

… Ah, the souvenir store? Yeah, we’re going to look at different places tomorrow, so we might as well go and see.

---

Nn? This manju… the ones we had in our room?

It looks like the white one has white beans, the black one has red bean paste, the kitten has sesame and the tiger one has purple sweet potato. Shiraishi would be happy to get these. You want to buy these?

If you’re thinking about the others in the office, we should buy something else for Sasazuka. He’s not really good with Japanese sweets. Besides, I feel like he’s been having too many donuts lately. Even though I told him to cut back on the fried food.

Haha, you agree?

Hm? Found something good?

Is this… baked donuts? Low oil, low calories… He’ll probably complain about it, but let’s get it. The only thing is that this doesn’t look like a hot spring specialty at all. Well, I don’t think Sasazuka would care.

Is there something you want to buy?

The local mascot character goods? Speaking of the mascot, I heard Enomoto got some Date Masamune merchandise from Sendai. He told me pretty enthusiastically that it’s a good conversation topic if you show it to a girl. Enomoto aside, I think mascot goods and I are a mismatch, but if it’s you, it would be cute. What does the local mascot look like?

Ah… I was thinking about why there were so many cat themed things here, so this is why. If you want that plush toy, then I’ll buy it as a present for you.

I can at least do this much. Anyway, I also want to create some memories of our trip.

Nn? Buy a pair? No… well, isn’t that… isn’t it embarrassing?

It’s not that I don’t want to, but just thinking about my age… Ah, is it a bad habit for me to always think about that?

I know, this is a part of enjoying a trip. It might be hard to keep it with me all the time, but I’ll cherish it.

I’ll go pay for them then.

---

Hah… It’s hard to sit still and do nothing except eat during dinner, is it because I always have the chance to cook? As expected, food made by professionals tastes different. Everything tastes good. I should take the opportunity to study it.

Oh, if I get any better you won’t be able to catch up? Heh, really… you praise me too much. If it’s about cooking, yours is delicious as well.

You carefully prep in advance, and I can see that you put your heart into it and you think about who you’re cooking for. The presentation is different from mine too, it’s quite unique. Even your packed lunches, you cut carrots and turnips into flowers, right? When you see a packed lunch like that, all the feelings you put into it immediately jump to mind. Naturally, it makes people smile.

Heh, I’ve been teased by Enomoto about it too. Now, every time I feel a little happiness in life, I realize that it shouldn’t be taken for granted. Even being able to go on a trip with you, to drink and eat side by side and talk about the future like this is all thanks to you.

Hu… It’s not just flattery. To me, your existence is so special to me, I’d be embarrassed if you don’t understand.

You’re the same?

I see, we’re the same.

You carried out your own justice, even though you were scared of coming into contact with Adonis. I’ve always been watching you do that from nearby. Being strong isn’t everything, it’s because people are timid and fragile that they want to be strong.

That’s what you taught me. You’re the one who pushed the stagnant me forward.

I’m really grateful to you.

….Your face… isn’t it getting a bit red? I let you drink with me, but you don’t hold your alcohol well. It’s better for you to stop.

No, I can drink alone, I can’t have you keep drinking with me--

Hm?

You feel like there’s distance? You’re lonely?

Ah… my bad, it was my fault-- no, you didn’t do anything wrong.

Really, you didn’t.

To be honest-- I always wanted to touch you like this. I don’t know how you see me, but right now, I don’t care. Men are much simpler than you think. If two people like this are alone and touch each other, it’s easy to lose control of your rationality.

Hey, don’t provoke me like that.

I want to cherish you. Aren’t I always saying it? I’m always conscious of suppressing my desires because we have such a big age difference. But when you touch me, those limits start letting up… So today, I don’t want to be unreasonable--

…! Hey... hugging me all of a sudden like that is unfair.

Hah? Why would I not like it? It’s the opposite.

You might not believe it, but I’m surprised at how I’m feeling as well. Really, at my age, I didn’t think I’d lose myself like this.

Don’t make that expression. I’m sorry that I made a lonely memory.

But, if we push past those limits, will you know when to stop? You’ve… experienced it before, uh… I don’t want to force anything. I’m self-conscious enough to put up precautions so that doesn’t happen. I hope you understand that I’m thinking of you.

I actually want to touch you more. I talked a lot, but the truth is I don’t want you to be disillusioned.

I want to be cooler. I’ve fallen for you that much.

You…

If you say something like “If it’s Yanagi-san you can do whatever you want”, do you understand how much that’ll stir me up? You already said it, how am I supposed to restrain myself?

Alright, I admit defeat.

You’re just too darn cute.

Are you going to take responsibility for making me lose my composure?

[Kiss]

I couldn’t say it before, but the open-air bath outside… do you want to get in together later?

What, are you being hesitant now? Where did all that boldness from before go?

I’m being mean? Didn’t I warn you properly?

Besides, you’re the one who broke through. You always show me your feelings through your word and actions. Age aside, even with my personality, it’s hard for me to show how I feel about you expressing your love for me. You might feel uneasy if you doubt that we share the same feelings, so today I want to express myself well.

I don’t plan on letting you go at all.

Even if I searched the whole world, I wouldn’t be able to find another woman that can make me lose myself like this. I’m not exaggerating. You should believe in yourself more.

The moments where you’re gentle, when you’re angry enough to scare people, when you seem reliable but also a little careless, when you work hard and when you’re stubborn, when you surprise everyone by doing something bold, I love all these things about you.

But the most important thing is that you, who loves me so much, are just so cute.

It’s embarrassing? You’re always telling me things like this so straightforwardly.

If I lose my composure, I won’t be apologetic about it.

[Kiss]

Why would I be worried if the woman I love tells me she loves me? Of course I’d be happy.

It’s not fair if I’m the only one who’s opening up my heart. I want to hear you too.

It’s still a long time before morning. Tell me how you feel, just to me, with your voice.

#otome #drama cd #otomate #collar x malice #collar x malice unlimited #cxm #mytranslations #drama cd translation #yanagi aiji

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funtimebunnyblog · 4 years ago

Text

Diamante d’Italia: Chapter 6

(Chapter 6: Fools fly where Angels fear to tread...)

Narancia rather liked solo missions.

Sure, a mission with Mista or with Fugo was always a wild time too, most espescially when they got to kick the shit out of someone, then laugh about it, before blasting the shit out of them if the target didn't cooperate.

Those missions were ALWAYS chaotic, VERY explosive, PACKED with action and punctuated by the voices of six shrieking bullets but most of all, they were the most memorable.

Missions with Bucciarati could be a treat, a little on the more rare side however as the man almost always paired himself with Abbacchio when not flying solo (he and the others swore those two were a thing but lacked any evidence to prove that just yet).

Just watching how many times the man could unzip someone to pieces and make unusual objects spill out of their mouth before they finally cracked was just always funny to Narancia. Not to mention, listening to Bruno talk and stir up a plan so easily on the spot was something akin to dazzling in the boys eyes.

It always made him feel like he was invincible and he could feel himself glowing from the inside out when the man praised him for doing a good job, Bucciarati was his hero afterall.

Sometimes he'd even get treated to some gelato afterwards.

Missions with Abbacchio could be fun, being also on the rare side and only sometimes chaotic. Watching Abba beat the absolute shit out of a dirtbag (whether it was their actual target or just some chump who made the mistake of telling the Mafioso that makeup was for Women) was always entertaining, but the mission itself really depended on the Goths mood and their target.

His favorite memories with the stone-faced man however would be when they drove down the highway, blasting some sort of loud and unholy music from a strange screaming punk-rock band Abbacchio liked while sipping on fizzy sodas, whether to or from said mission.

Yes, going on missions with his friends were fun and all.... but he absolutely loved going solo once in a while.

Aerosmith circled overhead, high above the buildings of the street and trailing behind Narancia like a tamed hawk would with its master. Narancia walked the streets casually, keeping his eyes out as he compared the man in the picture he had been given to the other bystanders on the street around him making their morning commute.

Today would be simple enough; find the asshole, get the info out of him where a recent traitor to the Boss was and if he refused to cooperate, use "gentle persuasion".

He hoped it wouldn't come to that of course, he didn't quite like to torture-... er.... "persuade" people himself and hopefully the idiot would be smart enough to know that if he fought and perhaps even got away he'd be hunted down by someone else much, much more powerful than Narancia or even Bucciarati for that matter and be given a more unmerciful and much crueler demise than just being shot by a small bombing plane.

There was an entire organization above their little team afterall. A big, BIG organization of thieves, thugs, hitmen, dealers and Mafiosi alike all working under one Man.

Narancia was quite literally just a snowflake resting on the very tip of an iceberg.

Still, being out on his own was always exciting. It always made him feel important when Bucciarati trusted him with these things.

He could go about things how he wanted it, put his own mind to the test and then proudly brag about his skills when reporting back.

Bucciarati always treated him very well after a successful solo mission of course.

He could hardly contain his excitement when he finally spotted the bastardo ducking into an alley off the street ahead, he couldn't have chose a better place to go in behind because it was right behind the spindly teens favorite Gelato spot.

The stronzo matched the picture alright; olive skin (check), strange yellowish hair thats texture sort of reminded him of rice (double check), scar on the cheek (checkaroo), wonky looking left eye (checkity-checkcheck).

"Bingo." He grinned, casually stuffing his hands in his pockets, tucking away the picture along with one, as he shuffled down the street. That intel was already as good as his.

The only thing he had to worry about now was what flavor Gelato he was in the mood for when this was all over.

☆☆☆

Once in his life Josuke believed that there was absolutely nothing better in this world than treating yourself to some Icecream on a warm sunny day.

Now however, he knew better.

Because if there was anything better than that, it was treating yourself to some Gelato on a warm sunny day in Italy.

Christ, he never knew how rich and smooth this frozen dairy treat could be.

All this time, he and Okuyasu had been scammed into being sold the now seemingly regular-old-not-at-all-exciting Icecream when he could've been tasting this absolute delicacy all along?!

He felt like he had been robbed, cheated even, dare he say betrayed, his whole life and didn't realize it until now!

The place he had stopped at wasn't quite like the shop he frequented back in Morioh before school on Monday either, not a cheep little stand on the sidewalk where you grabbed your cone and had no choice but to keep walking for fear of the guy running the place shoving you along with a broom for "loitering", this place was a store in itself and right out in the open too!

A sea of flavors and colours coating the entire counter, all scrumptious frozen dairy treats that absolutely dazzled the eye.

It was like finding an Oasis out in the scorching desert to someone who was dying for something sweet and cold on such a hot day like today.

They even had an area out front of the counter to sit and enjoy everything. The tasty treat, the sights and sounds and smells of the streets and all.

Italy just kept getting better and better by the second.

'Why on earth would someone ever leave here? Or even want to leave here?' The teenager couldn't help but wonder as he finished the last delectable lick of his Vanilla Gelato.

Tonio was always very vague on the topic of his move from Naples to Morioh and usually didn't say more than a simple "I wanted to fulfill my dream!" Or "I needed to see the world!" Before quickly changing the subject to his food and the art of his cooking.

None of them ever pressed the man for the details but now that he was experiencing this place and all its wonders himself, Josuke found himself wishing that he did know why Tonio left.

Maybe one day he'd be lucky enough, or perhaps close enough to the man at least, to find out....

A low hum rang in his ears, coming from right overhead.

His metaphorical thought-bubble was promptly popped with the sharpness of the noise and his attention was ripped away from his reminiscing of Home.

It sort of sounded like-

"A plane?" He muttered to himself, bringing a hand over his eyes and squinting to block out the bright golden sunshine of the late morning.

A tiny little red spot circled overhead, for something so small it puttered really loudly. No one else around seemed to notice it however.

It flew closer into his sights, it was a plane alright with wings a propeller and everything.

It swerved through the air, rolling over once as it sharply turned and disappeared behind the building suddenly with an almost obnoxious whirr.

Was it a toy? He had seen some pretty sweet remote control toy cars and helicopters much like that plane before when passing toy shops or flicking through store magazines that came with the loads of junkmail every week.

He glanced around, hoping to spot the kid who might be holding the remote control (he wouldn't admit aloud that he wanted a turn with it if you perhaps asked him).

'Not a toy.' Came a voice from the corner of his mind, he could feel the phantom of Crazy Diamond standing by his side, though not manifested. 'That was a stand, I could feel its energy.'

In an instant, Josuke was out of his seat, his eyes growing more and more huge by the second as he remembered Moody Blues and all their glory from yesterday.

Another stand? And a special one at that! Non-Humanoid stands were even cooler than the normal ones. And this one was a PLANE!

He looked around, no obvious signs of a user from what he could see, the streets held a few passerby's but nobody seemed focused on the stand like he was, so presumably the plane was following them into the alley?

"Oh wow!" Josuke whispered in excitement. "I gotta take a closer look!"

He would never forgive himself if he never saw the little plane again without finding the wielder of it. He started off down the street, turning into the alley, keeping his ears open and his eyes on the sky.

☆☆☆

"I'm tellin' ya kiddo, I don't know nothin'!" Osso Bucco, a much taller and more built man in size than Narancia, said putting his hands up with a helpless smile. "I don't even know what you're askin' about."

Narancia rolled his eyes, folding his arms as he glared down the man. They had been going back and forth for a few minutes and this was just getting tiring.

"Yeah sure, you don't dipshit." He snapped. "So I'm gonna help you jog your memory."

Osso was always a man of keeping himself in check, keeping your cool was a sure fire way to getting out of a mess like this.

He knew this spindly little shit was a stand user under that damned Passione but as long as he kept himself calm, he would be walking away without a worry and could get back to helping his new Boss organize some things.

Starting a rival Organization was tough under the threat of the one already in motion but as long as he stuck to the plan, his Boss assured him everything would work out in the end.

Osso liked to follow a stronger side afterall, it was just the way you survived out on these streets.

The beefy man barely even twitched when a deep puttering whirr came just inches about his head, clenching his hands into fists when a little plane hovered at Narancia's side, the teenager already had his radar out over his eye.

"I'm gonna ask you again, cazzone. What. Is. His. Name?" Narancia growled out, giving it his all to seem like a brooding threat (all his time watching Abbacchio being his bitter self really helped with that) as Aerosmiths gun turrets appeared, locking right onto its target.

It seemed like a neat trick, having a working plane at your own whim and all, but Osso knew he had an even better one up his sleeve.

Or rather... set in stone.

The corner of his lip twitched as the unmistakable vibrations of oncoming footsteps passed through the stone beneath his feet, someone was headed this way, a street rando was now at his disposal.

This was going to be easy for him to give the runt a slip. Chances were this little stronzo probably didn't even know shit about Earth Angel, the stand of his own possession.

His Boss ensured the discreet nature of all his workers, most especially their abilities.

"Y'know kid. You shouldn't be playin' with guns." The big man said as casually as he could, keeping his hands raised as he waited with all the patience in the world to feel the footsteps come within his range. "You could end up hurtin' someone."

Narancias brow twitched, he had him now.

Ossos lips curled up, it was time.

☆☆☆

Josuke had barely rounded the corner before suddenly, his foot caught on something.

Or rather... something caught his foot.

The teenager fell forward, right down into the hard stone pavement, skinning his hands in the process as he yelped.

For a split second he thought he had tripped over his own feet in his hurry (he knew he was clumsy afterall), but nothing could prepare him for when he rolled over to see a hand made of stone stretching out of the very ground, fingers wrapped tightly around his ankle.

He tried to scream but it barely came out, turning into more of a loud inarticulate grunt, and frantically tried to pull his leg from the hand in blind panic.

The fingers crackled as they tightened into even more of a vice-like grip, they were hard like any rock but undeniably humanoid and mobile.

The hand pulled and Josuke clawed at the ground in a momentary desperate attempt to fight back.

He realized that the pavement was swallowing him up suddenly, not like he was falling down a hole but akin to being dragged into water, the hand pulling him further and further down.

His final cry was drowned out as he was swallowed whole by the stone, along with the last bit of sunlight he could see.

His hand was the last thing in sight to the world around him before he vanished completely.

☆☆☆

Narancias head snapped in the direction of the sound of someones voice coming down from towards the end of the alley, leading out to the street.

Someone had screamed, almost as if crying out for help but it had cut off suddenly. Narancia blanched at the feeling of a shiver creeping up his spine, the deafening silence that followed was absolutely haunting.

His focus faltered for a moment, alarm bells ringing in his head as he realized someone was in danger.

His focus snapped onto place again as Osso began to laugh. Narancia opened his mouth to yell for his stand to fire at will before jumping back, the command dying in his throat as a figure shot straight up from the ground between them, effectively blocking Osso.

Two figures that was.

Josuke had no absolutely idea what in the Hell was happening once again. One second he was running, next he was on the ground, then he was underground and now he was here?!

He squirmed, the realization his arms were pinned tightly at his sides hitting him as he tried to scream again, only to have a hand made of stone clamp tightly over his mouth.

Narancia gaped, staring in shock at the squirming teenager trapped in the vice-like embrace of a tall Angelic statue.

Earth Angels expression was stoic, somehow bearing that sweet sadness feeling of nostalgia when looking upon a carved memory of an ancient one in the soft, yet chiseling, features of its stone face and body.

The way it moved was almost mesmerizing, so mobile and unstiff as if it were completely human but carried that hard and undeniable look of stone, the sound of rock grating and clicking as it moved.

"Now, ya'wouldn't want to be shootin' a kid now, would ya?" Osso grinned, peering around the neatly tucked concrete wings of his stand to take a look at the helpless Josuke, whose eyes were darting around frantically in wide sockets.

"You BASTARD!" Narancia roared, clenching his fist as his chest started to burn with rage.

He hated this cheep fucking move, it was nothing but cowardness to have to threaten the life of an innocent and unaffiliated person just to make a quick getaway.

It happened only a few times to him on a mission, but only when he had been with one or two of the others, and they barely succeeded each time.

Once there had been a VERY close call, where their target threatened to throw a lady he held hostage off a bridge. Thank goodness for zippers and the portals it opened that day.

But that was then and this was now.

And Narancia was all alone.

The young Mafioso tried to move, ready to pounce on the fucker himself so he could get out of that poor confused teenagers way and get a clear shot at his ugly mug, but stumbled slightly.

His violet eyes went wide as he looked down at his own legs.

They were becoming one with the ground, rooted to the very spot he stood but worst of all, turning to stone.

It was almost up to his knees now, his legs looking very much like he had gotten the great Michelangelo himself to carve him a set of ampute limbs.

He whimpered unconsciously as the stone started to creep higher, he could feel a horrible stiffness in his knees and thighbones already, worse than any arthritis he may ever experience in his later years.

That spindly boy, the weilder of the little plane, was in trouble. Josuke knew this and his heart screamed for him to do something, however Earth Angels grip was powerful and unrelenting.

The soft grating of stone clicked close to his ear as the statue turned its head to look at him with its pupiless half-lidded eyes, their soft carved expression never changing.

If he wasn't being attacked by it, he might've actually been comforted by the ethereal beauty perfectly captured in marble they radiated.

Josuke knew he had to stay calm and focused. Whoever this big guy controlling the statue was, he seemed like bad news.

He now fully knew how that poor lady being held hostage felt that time he and Okuyasu witnessed that convince store being robbed.

The plane started to circle by Narancias command, looking for a place to open fire on Osso.

However, the alley was very narrow and there was no open space for the stand to make a full circle, forcing Aerosmith to have to fly up one end and round back quickly.

Josuke almost screamed again as it came barreling back down the alley, gun turrets ready, before the statue moved (dragging Josuke along with it) to block the man from his exposed side once more.

If Narancia hadn't reacted half a second before he did, Josuke would've been packed full of bullets.

"Nice try, kiddo." Osso grinned. "You don't give up, but you ain't gonna win today."

The teenage Mafioso now started to scream as stone crept up his body more and more, faster by the second. It was up to his hips now and starting at the tips of his fingers as well.

Josuke watched in silent terror of it all, his heart wrenching a little as Narancia actually started to cry.

Josuke wracked his brain, trying to formulate a plan, readying to summon Crazy Diamond at his side. Maybe he could break the statue and then get a good shot at the asshole pulling the strings for torturing this other kid.

Narancia Ghirga was sure he was going to die and he didn't want to die, he really REALLY didn't! There was so much stuff he still wanted to do with Fugo and Mista and Abba and Bucciarati!

A thousand things flooded his head as he stared in utter terror down at his marble legs.

Mista still owed him a soda. He had tutoring with Fugo at 3:00 today. Abbacchio had promised him he'd teach him how to properly do make-up. He was going to show Bucciarati the Sailor Moon series this weekend.

He wished Bruno had paired him up with someone, he really did, because he couldn't do this on his own.

He needed help.

He desperately needed his Family!

And worst of all, this other kid was gonna die too! Narancia bit back a sob as the very thought of it came to mind.

"You're gonna be one hell of a statue kiddo." Osso laughed cruelly, indulging in Narancias loud reactions almost as much as he enjoyed watching him continue to try and shoot him. "Ya got no choice now, if you keep tryin' shit, it'll just go faster. Or worse, the freak with the mop gets it."

Josuke froze solid, the plan he had been trying to scrap up his head suddenly getting wiped clean from the slate.

The world around him seemed to slow and the sounds of the lean teenager crying out in fear deafened as his ears rang.

His heart started to pound, thumping so hard in his chest you could see it rattling his collarbone.

What did he just say?

What did that fucking piece of shit just say?

Josuke was unaware of his teeth grinding painfully in his mouth, his fists clenching so hard his knuckles shined white, his own face burning hot red like a knife that had been thrust into fire.

'He called your hair a mop.' Came the bitter answer, whispered in his head.

The soft grating of stone in his ear as Earth Angel turned its head to stare at him again wasn't heard to Josuke.

Osso had even stopped laughing, tilting his head to listen closely to the low growl the kid was emitting, that animalistic look in his unfocused blue eyes made him raise his eyebrows in question.

What the fuck was wrong with this weirdo?

Narancia had even stopped screaming, the dread he felt now forgotten as he watched with apprehension and interest.

Oh shit... he had definitely seen this before.

This guy was MAJORLY pissed off.

Far, FAR too many times had be been on the receiving end of this look with Fugo before to know what exactly was happening.

There was practically steam coming out of his ears, this stranger was going to blow! The sight of a bright fire emitting off the pompadour sporting teen almost didn't phase him because it fit how fucking pissed he looked.

'He called my hair a fucking mop...' came the only thought and it rang in his head over and over. 'HE CALLED MY HAIR A FUCKING MOP!!!'

Josuke didn't see. He didn't hear. He didn't think.

He didn't even feel it when his own fists tore through stone.

[To be continued ...》

(Like what you're reading? Find the rest on Archive of our own! 🙂)

#Diamante d'Italia #josuke higashitaka

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believingispowerfulmagic · 5 years ago

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Soldier Verse: “Don’t Mess With Dad”

Inspired by this post from Captain Awkward.

“Everyone has been really complimentary about this place,” Robin said, gently taking Roland from his car seat. “I’m sure the boys will have plenty of fun here.”

Regina unclasped Henry and helped him down from his booster seat. He held her hand as he climbed out of the car. “I hope so. Mary Margaret seemed hesitant about it.”

“Well, we’ll check it out and decide if it’s for us or not,” he said, locking the car. He gave her a quick kiss. “Come on.”

She held Henry’s hand as they entered the building. A young woman greeted them at the front desk. “Are you a new family?” she asked.

“We are,” Robin replied. “Do we need to fill anything out?”

“Just a couple of waivers and some information. We don’t sell it to any companies. It’s just for internal use,” the woman promised, handing them a clipboard.

Regina took it and filled out the required information, most of it standard information. Names, address, ages of their sons, any allergies or medical conditions staff needed to be aware of--nothing raised any concerns for her. She also went over the waivers they had to sign, finding them the standard releases places like this would have them sign. Everything appeared to be in order and she signed the forms, handing the clipboard back to the receptionist.

“Everything looks to be in order,” the young woman said. She set the clipboard down and smiled, tapping a camera. “I just need pictures of all of you. Okay?”

“Even the kids?” Regina asked, looking down at Roland in his carrier. The baby boy blinked a couple times before yawning, rubbing his face with his tiny hand.

The woman nodded. “It’ll be quick. And the baby doesn’t have to be awake.”

“Okay,” Regina replied, gently taking Roland from his carrier. She held him so that he face the camera. “Just hold still for Mommy,” she whispered to him.

Roland seemed to understand. He stayed still as he watched the camera with a curious expression. The woman pressed a button and then nodded to Regina after checking the screen. “We got it,” she said.

Nodding, Regina stepped back as she continued to bounce Roland. Robin picked up Henry so he was level with the camera. Henry smiled widely and the receptionist got his picture quickly. “And now we just need Mom and Dad,” she said.

After placing Roland back in his carrier, Regina and Robin quickly took their pictures. The receptionist nodded. “You’re all set. Head down the hall and you’ll find the playroom. We have cubbies for you to place your items,” she told them.

“Thank you,” Robin said, picking up Henry. He then placed a hand on Regina’s back as she held Roland’s carrier. The small family walked down the hallway until they arrived at two large doors and entered them.

The room was bigger than she expected and was clearly divided up to accommodate all the ages of children that might visit the room. She spotted mats for babies who couldn’t crawl yet. They laid either on their stomachs or backs as they played with toys. On the other side of the room was a padded area for those learning to crawl or walk, toys also strewn about that side as well. That area opened to a play area that filled the back of the room. It was wooden and painted bright colors, containing several ramps and slides for the more mobile to move around and explore the area.

Robin let out a low whistle. “This is impressive.”

“It is,” Regina agreed, amazed. “I think the boys will have fun here.”

He nodded before pointing to a wall of cubbies. “Looks like that’s where we can store our things.”

They walked over there and Regina set Roland’s carrier on a nearby bench. She unsnapped the restraint and took him out of his coat. He grinned, kicking happily as the bulky item came off and she cooed: “Were you hot, sweetheart? Mama’s sorry but she couldn’t take your coat off right away.”

“Do you need any help?” a woman asked. Regina looked up to find an older woman hovering by Robin as he helped Henry out of his coat.

Robin smiled at her. “I’ve got it. Thank you.”

“Really, I can help you with him,” the woman pushed, surprising Regina. It was clear Robin had everything under control and she couldn’t figure out why the woman wouldn’t back off.

“I’m fine,” Robin insisted, a hardness in his voice that Regina recognized. He handed Henry’s coat to her. “Here you go.”

The woman realized that Regina was there and her eyes lit up when she saw Roland in his carrier. “Oh! Isn’t he the most beautiful boy ever!”

“Thank you,” Regina said, putting the coats into one of the cubbies. She was still a little wary around the woman and hoped she would move on quickly.

“My name is Hilda and I’m a volunteer here,” the woman continued. “If you need any help, you can just ask me. That’s what we’re here for. May I ask the names of these two cuties?”

Regina hesitated, still not completely comfortable with the woman. But she was a volunteer and would probably learn the boys’ names anyway, so Regina replied: “The baby is Roland and that’s Henry over by his father.”

“Henry and Roland! Those are two classic names you don’t hear very often these days!” Hilda praised.

“Uh, thanks?” Regina responded uncertainly. She was relieved when Henry tugged on her hand, begging her to play with him. Glancing up at Hilda, she said: “Excuse me.”

Hilda turned then to Roland. “How about I take care of this little one?”

“That’s okay,” Robin said, stepping closer. “I’ve got him.”

Though Henry tugged on her hand, Regina didn’t move. She didn’t like how Hilda seemed uncomfortable letting Robin handle her own son. Her dislike grew when Hilda asked: “Are you sure? I’m more than capable of taking care of him.”

“So am I,” he replied, annoyed. He lifted Roland easily and patted his back. “We’re fine. Thank you.”

“Well, I’ll be around if you need me,” Hilda said, looking slightly put out that Robin kept rejecting her help. She walked away as Regina finally let Henry tug her toward the play area.

As he climbed up a rope ladder, Regina stood off to the side and watched him. One of the other mothers came up to her. “I see Hilda introduced herself. She’s so good with the children and so helpful. The other mothers and I think she’s a godsend,” the woman said.

Regina hesitated, not wanting to say the wrong thing. Her gut told her not to trust Hilda but it was clear everyone else liked her. She had to tread carefully and so she asked: “What about the dads?”

“Oh,” the woman said, frowning. “We don’t get many of them. If they do come, it’s usually sporadic. Why?”

“No reason,” Regina said, turning back to Henry. He waved to her once he reached the top and she waved back, an uneasy feeling in her stomach. She had learned to trust her gut after years on the battlefield and it told her that Hilda was going to be a problem. It also told her going against Hilda would alienate them as well.

She suddenly preferred navigating a minefield to mommy dynamics.

*****

Their next visits proved that Hilda’s behavior wasn’t just because they were new parents she didn’t know yet. She seemed obsessed with Henry and Roland, always making a point to greet them. And every time they visited, she tried to find a reason to hold Roland. Regina and Robin kept shutting down her every attempt politely as they didn’t really need her help. They also worried that she would try to walk away with one of their boys and had reminded Henry that he should only go anywhere with one of them.

Regina also noticed that Hilda tended to hover more when Robin was with her. When he was there, she always tried to take over whatever task he was doing--whether it was feeding Roland, tying Henry’s shoes, or putting a coat on either boy. It was as if she just automatically assumed he would do it wrong and Regina figured it was probably just a preconceived sexist notion that men were hopeless and helpless when it came to children. Because when it was just her, Hilda never tried to take over anything she was doing. All she did was continue to try to find a way to hold Roland and each time, Regina kept shutting her down as politely as possible while still putting some warning into her voice.

It got Hilda to back off for a couple weeks before she was back at it again.

And all the while, the other mothers just kept praising Hilda. It got to the point that Regina did start to wonder if it was just her.

“It’s not you,” Mary Margaret told her, pouring her a cup of coffee. “She’s the reason we stopped going.”

“Was she obsessed with Neal or Eva?” Regina asked her.

Mary Margaret shook her head. “She just was very patronizing toward David. Always kept taking Eva from him and insisting on taking care of her.”

“She tries to do the same with Robin but he keeps Roland away from her,” Regina replied.

“Some of the dads do, some don’t,” Mary Margaret said. “Almost all stop going.”

Regina frowned. “What about their wives?”

“Depends. A couple still come but they are generally the ones who also complain about how useless their husbands are,” Mary Margaret replied.

“Charming,” Regina replied, sighing. “So there’s no stopping her?”

“I’m sure there is. David and I decided it wasn’t our battle, not with him deployed again,” Mary Margaret said, her voice trailing off as sadness filled her eyes. Regina took her hand, holding it as her friend had a moment with her feelings.

Clearing her throat, Mary Margaret continued: “You and Robin have to decide if this is your battle. And if it is, Hilda doesn’t stand a chance.”

Regina smiled, giving her friend’s hand a squeeze. “Thank you.”

They moved onto another topic but the conversation kept replaying in Regina’s mind. Was the battle with Hilda hers? Or would her energies be better spent finding a new place to take the boys? And if so, would Hilda’s reign of terror never end? Could she live with that or would her sense of justice force her hand?

*****

Taking the boys to the Play Park. See you at home?

I’ll meet you there. Court’s adjourned and I’m just finishing up here at the office.

You don’t want to change first?

I’m fine. See you soon.

Regina set down her phone before logging off her computer. She stood, grabbing her bag. “See you in the morning,” she called out to Mal.

“You too,” her superior responded. “Good job today.”

Heading out of the JAG building, Regina climbed into her car and drove to the Play Park. She spotted Robin’s car already in the lot and was able to park next to him, which would make things easier when they left. Unbuckling herself, she grabbed her phone and wallet before walking through the parking lot to the building.

She checked in with the receptionist before heading to the baby and toddler area. Regina slipped into the room, scanning for her family. She spotted Henry on the playset and Robin coming out of the kitchen area with a bottle in one hand while Roland was nestled in the crook of his other arm. He eased the bottle between their son’s lips as she walked toward them.

“LET ME DO THAT!” Hilda blew past several other mothers, including one who looked like she was struggling with two babies who were really close in age if not twins. She snatched the bottle from Robin’s hand, yanking it from Roland’s mouth in the process. He blinked a few times before wailing at the top of his lungs, displeased that his meal had been interrupted so rudely.

Anger swelled in Regina and she stormed toward the older woman. Robin, though, recovered before she got there and he turned as red as a tomato. “HOW DARE YOU!” he bellowed.

Everything went still in the room as everyone turned to watch the scene unfolding. Hilda looked somewhat cowed and Regina didn’t blame her. Robin didn’t let his anger get the best of him often but when he did, he was just as much a force to reckon with as her.

“Give me the bottle back,” he demanded, holding his hand out as he tried to rock Roland to calm him.

“He’s upset,” Hilda said, sounding as if Robin was incapable of realizing that. She seemed to not recognize that she was the reason Roland was so upset. Her patronizing tone continued as she said: “Give him to me. I can soothe him with no problem.”

“So can I...once you give me his bottle back,” Robin replied.

Hilda just smiled at him. “I’ll feed him and you go play with your boy. That’s what men understand. Women understand babies.”

"I understand babies,” he answered, “especially mine. Now, give me back the bottle.”

“Is there a problem?” one of the managers asked, approaching. She looked nervously between Robin and Hilda.

Robin nodded. “This woman grabbed the bottle right out of my son’s mouth.”

“I was helping,” Hilda protested.

“By pulling the bottle from my son’s mouth and upsetting him?” he asked, rocking a still distraught Roland. “And refusing to give it back?”

The manager sighed, holding out her hand. “Give me the bottle, Hilda.”

Hilda handed the woman the bottle and she quickly gave it to Robin. “I’m sorry for this, Mr...?”

“Locksley,” he replied, easing the bottle back between Roland’s lips. The boy calmed down and started to suckle eagerly, finally getting the nourishment he needed.

“Locksley,” the woman repeated. She then frowned. “You’re one of our military families, right?”

He nodded and Hilda seemed to seize on that. “See? You’re a soldier, not a nurturer.”

“He’s not the soldier,” Regina said, stepping forward at last. “I am.”

Hilda’s eyes widened as she took in Regina’s uniform. Her eyes then softened and her patronizing tone returned. “You’re not really a soldier, dear. You’re a general’s secretary, right?”

Regina’s anger flared up. “How dare you belittle me like that. I am a soldier. I served multiple tours overseas and fought on the front lines. And I’m now a lawyer, fighting in the courtroom. I am hardly an administrative assistant, though none of them deserve such a dismissive attitude to all the hard work they do to help keep our army running.”

“I think we should probably go to my office,” the manager suggested, looking even more nervous and uncomfortable.

“What about our other son?” Regina asked, glancing over at Henry. He continued to play with the other children, unaware of the drama unfolding with his parents.

“Our staff will keep an eye on him,” the manager promised, motioning for another staff member. She spoke to the woman, who nodded and said she would keep an eye on Henry.

They all went to the manager’s office. She closed her door with a sigh. “Mr. Locksley, Mrs...”

“Captain,” Robin corrected. “My wife is a captain.”

The manager paused before saying: “My apologies. Mr. Locksley, Captain Locksley.”

Roland spat out his bottle, yawning as his eyes closed. Regina took the bottle from Robin and he patted their son’s back, encouraging him to burp. All the while, he kept his eyes on the manager. “This was unacceptable. She pulled the bottle from my son’s mouth and startled me. I could’ve dropped him. She could’ve hurt him.”

“I understand,” the manager said, eyeing Hilda. For her part, the older woman hung her head as the other woman continued: “It will never happen again.”

“We hope so,” Robin replied. “That’s why I would like to make a formal complaint.”

Hilda sat up straighter, the color draining from her face. “Is that necessary?”

“Yes,” he insisted.

“I assure you we will handle it,” the manager insisted, looking a bit uncomfortable.

He shot Regina a look and she cleared her throat. “Perhaps we need to talk to your manager?”

The color drained from the manager’s face. “That won’t be necessary.I can help you file the formal complaint.”

“Wait, are you serious?” Hilda asked, leaning forward. “I’m a dedicated volunteer. I’ve helped many moms here!”

“And chased away just as many dads,” Robin shot back.

“It’s their own male ego that chased them away,” she said. “They were too proud to admit they are essentially useless when it comes to babies. Women do that best. Right, Regina?”

“Captain Locksley, please,” Regina told her coldly, even though she felt as if fire were flowing through her veins. “And I was deployed for my final tour when our eldest was only nine months. I was gone for nearly a year. You know who took care of him? His father. And he did a damn good job--by himself.”

Robin’s cheeks turned pink as Hilda sank back in her seat. “Oh.”

“Now,” Regina said, leveling the manager with a hard glare. “I believe we were about to file a formal complaint?”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Regina asked, sitting in the car with her family. They were parked in front of the Play Park, staring at the building. Her stomach churned in a way it hadn’t even when she was about to run into an active war zone.

Robin reached over and took her hand. “We did nothing wrong. Hilda did and it was our right to report her.”

“I know,” she said softly. “But it was clear everyone else loved Hilda. What if they hate us for reporting her?”

“Then they hate us and have to deal with the fact that she was wrong,” he replied. “We can’t let her or them keep us from this place. Not when Henry loves it so much.”

She glanced to the backseat. Henry was leaning over the edge of his car seat, trying to get closer to the window. His hazel eyes looked longingly at the building and he wiggled against his restraints, clearly wanting to get out and go play.

Regina took a deep breath and let out. “You’re right. We can do this.”

“Together,” he assured her, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze.

“You’re my favorite partner,” she told him. “Just don’t tell David.”

Robin chuckled. “I think he already knows.”

She laughed before taking a deep breath. Giving his hand a squeeze back, she nodded. “Okay, I’m ready. Let’s go.”

Climbing out of the car, they got the boys out and headed to the building. Henry skipped next to his mother as he held Regina’s hand and she smiled, glad he was happy. She held her head high, meeting Robin’s eye. He winked at her and she knew that no matter what awaited them inside, it would all be fine because they would face it together.

#once upon a time #outlaw queen #oq au #oq ff #soldier verse

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rixxy8173571m3w1p3 · 6 years ago

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September Song (2/3)

I’m sorry @kitten-wrath that this took so long, but I do hope you like it. @hoodoo12 @xerxezra thanks for brainstorming with me. Also, Ice Cream Rick belongs @porkchop-ao3. References to the flowers can be found here (The Language Of Flowers) and pizza rolls here (Sick Day)

Also, special thanks go to @her-victori for reading a majority of my fics in a short span of time. You Rock! As well to random anons who leave me sweet words in my ask box.

If you haven't read the first part of this fic then here's the link. (Read Part1 Here)

In this fic the reader tries to be more reserved and mature for Rick, but what will he think?

______

Chapter 2: These Precious Days

The mom and pop ice cream parlor which could be found at the edge of town offered over twenty flavors and twice as many topping options. Rick thought you'd prefer this quiet atmosphere over the crowd that would've surrounded Ice Cream Ricks truck in the Citadel; he was right. Though it really was a shame since Ice Cream Rick was actually pretty nice. After ordering, you two sat by the window with the best view of a lonely backroad and a white GMC truck.

“I-I-I like that you went for the rainbow jimmies.” Rick commented as he popped a mini gummy bear into his mouth.

“Hmm? Yeah, I like the texture.”

Which was true, but it wasn't the whole truth. You loved sprinkles on just about any dessert they could be placed on. They were fun, colorful, and your dad's favorite topping. They reminded you of good times. You continued. “And they're a classic. Wouldn't you agree?”

“I-I do. Would you say that y-your favorite flavor?”

Savoring the flavor of your chocolate ice cream, you nodded. “Yeah.”

Smiling softly, he seemed to be ruminating on this information, before storing it away and eating a spoonful of his pistachio ice cream. After a little while, he managed to get a bit of it on the side of his mouth, which made you giggle. And because old habits die hard, you picked up a napkin and wiped his face clean. Under your fingertips, his skin had that masculine roughness that came from constant shaving. Of course, you were familiar with it, but these slight reminders that came about by chance never failed to amaze you.

However, you were quick to pull your hand back because he wasn't a fan of public displays of affection, though it seemed to have the opposite effect, with him reaching out and placing your hand back on his cheek, and leaning into it. “I'm glad y-you were able to come with me today.”

Seeing as the shop owner was in the back room, you relaxed a little. “I am too.”

Rick was always a little funny when he got sentimental, which was why it didn't surprise you too much when his eyes bore through you as he said. “Me encanta estar c-contigo.”

“Rick,” you began, wanting to let this facade go and declare every single word of affection your heart felt inclined to say, but just as soon as you thought you were going to crack, you restrained yourself, and simply said. “your ice cream is going to melt.”

Several beats of silence passed, and he acknowledged what you had said, but he went on. “You - I-I sometimes wish I could carry you in my pocket, and have you look after me all the time, but th-that's silly isn't it? It's not realistic, and that w-would be selfish.”

“If it's you, then I don't think it is. While it wouldn't necessarily be practical to miniaturize me and carry me around, isn't the beauty of a relationship knowing that you're always on someone's mind and that they are out there somewhere caring and thinking about you?”

“Certainly, but what I-I meant to say is that it'd be nice if this was our life. If I could keep y-you and if you and me ugh - all th-the time…we - if we….” he faltered, fixing his eyes on something else in the room.

“You don't mean eating ice cream do you?”

With a sigh, he relinquished the hold he had on your hand, “N-no.” and continued to eat his ice cream; resigned, and slightly embarrassed. You couldn't help but feel a slight disappointment. It's not like he wanted to say the magic words. Right?

________

After ice cream, you two visited the bookstore on the corner of Kinder St and Lavue Ave; which had not only a coffee shop but a toy store connected to it. As soon as one entered into it, you were met with the latest best sellers, books on travel and wellness, as well as souvenirs; it was one of few places that didn't bother you if it was cramped. To your left next to the window were those mint boxes which said Adventure Awaits, and it filled you with gladness as picked one up; thinking of little things you'd put in it after all the mints were gone. For his part, Zeta-7 seemed to know exactly what he was going for, disappearing in the back where all the used books were. Not knowing whether to follow or look around, you just did as you pleased.

Past the Keychain holder, above the box of mini hands, you found a Mister Rogers mug. You loved that wholesome old man who used to teach lessons and play with puppets on PBS; Rick reminded you of him too. On the label, it said that when you added hot water to the mug, Mister Rogers would change from a suit jacket into his cardigan. Seeing as Zeta-7 hadn't returned yet, you decided to buy it and continued to look around until he soon returned with an older book in hand. “I-I-I hope I hadn't kept you waiting long.”

Facing the bookshelf, pulling out books that you were mildly interested in, you answered. “I knew you would show up eventually.”

Noticing the stack of books you had, he asked sweetly. “M-m-mi corazón, do you want me t-to hold those books for you? They look a-a little heavy.”

You weren't sure how long you could keep up this facade of being mature and not melting into a puddle everytime he said things like that, with him being as darling as he was. Nonetheless, you nodded and he lightened the burden on your arms.

“Wow,” he brightened. “I-I didn't know you liked Alexandre Dumas.” And picking out another book, he wondered. “Have y-you ever read this?”

“The Man In the Iron Mask? No,” you admitted sadly. “but when I was in high school I did read about a third of The Count of Monte Cristo. I even have a postcard that my old English teacher sent me from Europe that had a picture of one of the buildings that was used in the movie.”

“That's s-s-so cool. Do - do you enjoy classic literature?”

Wholeheartedly, you replied. “Isn't it the best kind?”

“I-I-I don't know,” he softened. “but I don't know what I'd do without them.”

You thought of his home library then, with its eclectic mixture of languages, colors, and topics, and it made you feel warm in your soul. “If your home library tells me anything, it's that you have a healthy appetite for books.”

He glanced at your lips after you said this, but made no attempt to follow whatever thought which might've come to mind. Instead, you two carried on a lengthy discussion on books, how many were a social commentary of the time period, and how they influenced the world you lived in. For once you didn't have to pretend you knew something you didn't, cause you did know. Quite intimately in fact. And within the small spaces between shelves and bodies, where you'd normally feel claustrophobic, you were safe amongst all the friends you had yet to meet amongst the pages, and with Zeta-7 whose warm words and tall body shielded you from the curious eyes of the cashier.

_______________

A stack of books sat quietly in the back seat of his car. Crickets chirped, and there were random feral cats here and there, but there was only you and him as far as you were concerned. September Song by Willie Nelson played on the car radio as he led you into a natural waltz next to the town lake, and moonlight reflected in his eyes. If you hadn't been so afraid of drowning, maybe you would've preferred to dance on the dock, but like this, it felt right.

Oh, it's a long long while

From May to December

But the days grow short

When you reach September

When the autumn weather

Turns leaves to flame

One hasn't got time

For the waiting game

With your head resting on his chest, he hummed along to the melody. More than once you heard a sniffle but assumed it was just Zeta-7 caught up in the moment again.

Oh the days dwindle down

To a precious few. ..

September, November. ..

And these few precious days

I'll spend with you.

These precious days

I'll spend with you.

You thought every day spent with him was precious, and you had to admit that you weren't sure at the beginning of your relationship if it would've worked out, but you were glad that the both of you took a chance, and had been pleasantly surprised ever since. And after all this time, now that it was the fall again, you wondered what the next year and the year after that would be like; the possibilities are endless. However, your train of thought was broken when Zeta-7 stopped dancing and stood there; covering his face, wanting to disappear.

“Rick?”

“I'm - I'm sorry, but I-I-I-I can't do this.”

“Can't do what?”

“I-I-I can't pretend that everything's o-okay. Something's th-the matter isn't it?”

“No there isn't.” you denied.

“Then why are y-y-you so quiet? Are w-we breaking up? Are you - are you leaving me?”

You literally wanted to smack yourself for being such an idiot. “No! Why would you think that?”

Using his phone, he paused the music and passed a hand through his hair in an attempt to calm himself. “Y-y-you haven't been yourself all evening. I thought for a moment that maybe th-things were alright back in the bookstore, but you - I know y-you were holding back. I know how much you love books, and writing is y-y-y-your passion, but you were hesitant in sharing your opinions on either subject. M-mi corazón,” he pleaded, the lines about his forehead and mouth deepening. “please b-be honest with me. Is this it?”

“No, it's not.”

Your plan, which you thought has been working went horribly wrong. So much for trying to act like an adult for once. Man, you only wanted to entice him, which you somewhat succeeded, but because of your stupid games, you'd led him to believe that you were unsatisfied with your relationship. If anything, you were unsatisfied with how you handled this. “Believe me Ricky, you haven't done anything wrong. In fact,” you sighed, your chest aching from the bloom of anxiety. “you've only been sweet and charming. But I….oh, I was only trying to impress you.”

“Huh? Wh-what?”

“Exactly. Whatever I thought I'd accomplish, it…..I only managed to mess it up. Again. You probably wouldn't get it,” Or maybe he would, but you weren't feeling like yourself. “but sometimes I feel like all you did was pull me out of my little bubble so I could wreak havoc. I'm not any different from hundreds of other versions of me, am I? Cause, if I'm like them, then how did I end up with you? How did I get so lucky to be with someone so wonderful? I hope they are happy because I am with you.”

With a hand pressed over his heart, a single tear made its way down his cheek. “M-me too. I'm so happy with you.”

“Somehow, despite all my inadequacies, you want me. I mean, is it stupid to believe that I just wanted to be different from all those other copies? That I just wanted you to think I was mature?”

Zeta-7 looked at you with a wistful hope in his eyes.“No, it's - it's not stupid. You - you did that f-for me?”

“Who else dear honey man of mine? Maybe it can't be helped and I'll just be what I am,” you confessed. “but for a moment I wanted to be different. So I gave myself the look and didn't overreact. And most of all, kept my mouth shut so you wouldn't get bored of my rambling. I know I talk too much.”

“N-no, that's not - have I led you t-to believe you weren't good enough?”

“Not on purpose, but I can't help but feel that way sometimes. We both know I'm not that special. I mean, the only impressive thing I've ever done is eat 37 pizza rolls, and not kill the flowers you gave me. I'm so sorry,” you cried, “I'm sorry you got stuck with an idiot.”

He pulled you in for a tight embrace, smoothing out your hair. “D-don't ever say that.” he cooed. “You're - you're clever, lovely, and always give me something t-t-to smile about.”

“Anyone can do that.”

Pulling back a little, he gave your shoulder a squeeze and softened. “N-no, not at all. Y-you give away dreams, smiles, and kindness. You're reliable, and I-I can trust you. And there is no one in the universe th-that could compare t-to you when it comes to being the perfect woman. If anything, I'm th-the defect here.”

“No, you're perfect Ricky.”

Placing a lock of hair behind your ear, he continued. “I'm glad y-you think so, but this isn't a-about me. You - you dressed up today, in a-a elegant dress that I'd n-never seen before,” and pressing a kiss behind your ear, he whispered with a little gleam of pride in his eyes.. “wearing the perfume I-I-I made you. Smelling like a-a dream.”

Again, how anyone considered this charmer a doofus you'd never know. “I had been saving it for a special occasion.”

“Everyday with you is - is special.”

“Oh Rick. That's…thank you.”

Pointing at your feet, “And I noticed that you're closer t-t-to my height today, but your feet must be hurting by now. Would y-you like to take them off?”

Oh, your feet were screaming. And now that you weren't pretending, you slipped out of your shoes which made you lose about four inches. Picking up your shoes and shoes and dusting them off, he continued. “That must feel better. I-I-I had to wear heels for a case once. It ugh - it's not practical when y-y-you have to run.”

“Right? I don't see how other women do it, cause I can't. I'm not even sure why I own them. I should just burn those things.”

You'd say it was half relief, half joy that made him laugh wholeheartedly at this, and you didn't see how it could be so funny. You poked him and pouted, and he delighted in this. “See?” he chuckled, looking at you in that funny way he did from time to time.

“See what?”

“This. This is th-the girl I fell in love with,” he stated matter of factly. “the one who likes t-to be comfortable, speaks her mind and prefers those jeans with th-the rip on the side. Not to mention those graphic t-shirts. Or cute pj's.”

Your breath caught a little at this confession. How could the smartest man in the universe adore an impertinent person like you? Maybe the same way you could love the smartest man; you just do. In your girlish voice, you said. “I only wanted you to be proud of me.”

Holding you a fraction tighter, he pressed a light kiss to your temple and chuckled sweetly. “Y-you already do princess. Today y-you made an effort for me, and that's impressive, but honestly, I want you t-t-to be comfortable and dress up how y-you like. You as yourself is what impresses me, because you have s-s-so much spirit, and I - that's what makes y-you gorgeous.”

This time you didn't even try to hide your blush.

“Oh Rick, hearing you say that really does make me feel silly. Why did I do this to myself? What was I thinking?”

“I believe y-you're still trying to figure it all out like the rest of us, and I can't get mad at you for th-that because you're wonderfully human. You had good intentions, and th-that's what counts.”

“Can you forgive me?”

“I al-already have.”

TBC

#doofus rick #doofus rick x reader #rick sanchez x reader #j19z7 #rick j19z7 #rnm fanfic #my writing #my works

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latetothegreysparty · 7 years ago

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To Build a Home

Alright folks, here’s the follow-up to Home. If you’d like to read or reread that one, it can be found here. I decided to take a page out of Shonda’s book and name this one after a song. Anyway, here it is. I hope you enjoy it.

To Build a Home

Owen jogged to the kitchen when he heard the tea kettle whistle. As he lifted the kettle from the burner and poured some of the hot water into the mug on the counter, he allowed himself a soft smile at this ritual that had become a nightly routine. Every night, as he and Amelia were settling down to go to bed, Owen would make her a cup of mint tea. She said it soothed her rocky stomach, so Owen insisted that she drink some before bed so that she’d be able to get a good night’s sleep.

When he arrived back in the bedroom, Owen found Amelia climbing into her side of the bed. Well, he didn’t really know if he could call it her side of the bed. They’d never actually discussed whether or not she was moving back in with him. She had stayed with him for a few weeks after Leo left so he wouldn’t be too sad and lonely, and she hadn’t left since she’d found out she was pregnant. He felt like she’d moved back in. Most of her clothes were in the closet, her favorite foods were stocked in the fridge, and about five of his cabinet doors sat open at any given moment. Still, they hadn’t yet talked about their living situation and agreed that she was permanently moving back into his home. Their home.

Owen shook these thoughts from his head as he climbed into the other side of the bed and reached over to hand her the mug of tea. “Thanks,” she said as she accepted the mug, smiling softly as she pulled it close to her face.

Owen returned her smile and nodded. After she had taken the first few sips of her tea, Owen could no longer stop himself from saying the thing he’d been meaning to say the last few nights. “Amelia, I was wondering if we could talk,” he said slowly, hesitantly.

Amelia’s eyebrows knitted together. “Of course, Owen. We can always talk.”

Owen took a deep breath, trying to buy himself another moment to gather the courage to initiate a conversation about the topic that had been weighing heavily on his mind lately. “I’d like to hear about your son if you’re ready to talk about him,” he said softly. He stared straight ahead instead of at her so that she wouldn’t feel pressured.

The moments went by, and Owen could feel his heart hammering against his ribcage. As the minutes ticked away, he was hit with the realization that this had been a mistake. They had been doing so well, and then he’d blindsided her with a topic he knew was difficult for her. He had just taken everything they’d built and knocked it all down. “He wasn’t planned.” Her voice broke through the thoughts racing through his mind. “Just like this little one, he wasn’t planned,” she said, reaching her right hand down to rest on her still-flat stomach.

Owen was sure the shock must have been evident on his face when she began to speak. If she noticed, she didn’t mention it. “His father was Ryan, the man I told you about when we were married. The man who I loved who died. In between taking oxy, Ryan and I had a lot of sex. The night he ODed, we had just talked about how we wanted to have kids and we had to get clean for our kids. We said we were going to stop after that night. We’d take the last little bit we had, and then we were getting clean so we could be good parents. I woke up the next morning, and he was gone. And then I got clean, but it wasn’t how I’d imagined it. I wasn’t in rehab with the man I loved working for our future, I was just there because I didn’t know what else to do with my life. I finished rehab, and then a while later, I found out I was pregnant. Then everything just hurt all over again. I was getting all the things Ryan and I had planned, the sobriety, the kid, the better life, but Ryan wasn’t there. It all felt so wrong, and I didn’t want any of it.”

When she stopped speaking, Owen pondered the best move. He could hear her sniffling a bit. He wanted so badly to gather her into his arms and stroke her hair, but he didn’t want to overwhelm her. He settled for taking her hand in his. When he began to stroke his thumb across the back of her hand, she continued to speak. “Over time, I started to want it, though. I realized that I could never get Ryan back, but my baby was a piece of Ryan that I’d have forever. I started to get excited about raising the child and being a mom. I went to one of my closest friends for the ultrasound. One minute we were happy and chatting, and the next minute she went silent. I looked over at the monitor and there was my baby. With no brain. He was anecephalic.”

As the words fell from her lips, Owen could feel his chest tighten. He couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to see that ultrasound and know that your child was going to die shortly after birth. Right after that thought crossed his mind, he thought about how they hadn’t had an ultrasound yet for their child. He hated himself a bit for immediately making that connection. Here she was in tears about the death of her son several years ago, and his mind was wandering off to worrying about their current child. He squeezed her hand, hoping the action would draw him out of his thoughts and into her grief.

“For a while, I couldn’t figure out what to do,” she said. “I was just on autopilot, going about my days, just trying to get through. And then some patient would notice my bump and ask when I was due. I kept thinking it would get easier after it had happened several times, but it never did. Every time someone asked about him, it hurt every bit as much as it did when I saw that ultrasound.” She paused to wipe her eyes. “Eventually I decided that I wanted him to donate his organs. If he couldn’t have his own life, I wanted him to give other children theirs back. I called him my unicorn baby. He was a magical little creature who would travel around and do great things. That was the only thing that got me through those months. So I carried him until I went into labor, I delivered him, I held him, I kissed him, and then in a matter of minutes he was taken from me so he could be harvested for parts. It had all felt so right and so beautiful beforehand when I made the decision, but when they were taking him from my arms, all I could think about was how my little boy was about to be cut into pieces and placed in coolers.”

She stopped talking as her soft tears turned into full-on crying. This time, Owen couldn’t stop himself. He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly to his chest, allowing her tears to seep into his shirt. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

“Owen, don’t-” she began to say through her tears, but he cut her off.

“No,” he said. “I am so sorry this happened, and I’m sorry for anything I’ve ever said that has reopened this wound. I wish I’d known. God, I wish I’d known.” He hoped she didn’t pull her face away from his chest for a little while so she wouldn’t see the few tears that had gathered in the corner of his eyes.

“You couldn’t have known,” she responded. That was so much like her. She was lying in his arms consumed in grief, but yet she was trying to comfort him. That thought reminded him of all the reasons he knew she’d be an amazing mom. As he considered that, he was hit with another pang of grief that she hadn’t gotten to raise the first child she’d had. He hoped like hell that she’d get to raise this one.

“I know I shouldn’t be saying this right now, but I’m so scared. Our baby has to be okay.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, but immediately, he wished he could grab them and pull them back into his mouth. That was the last thing she needed to hear right now. She’d just told him about her first child’s death, and he immediately brought up the idea of their child dying. That was the exact wrong thing to say. Of that he was certain.

“I’m glad to hear that,” she whispered. His eyes snapped down to look at her. “I’m kind of glad you’re scared because I’m scared too. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew that you were so excited, and I didn’t want to ruin it for you. But I’ve been terrified since the moment I saw that test result. I don’t know how I’ll get through it if this baby isn’t okay.” Just like that, her tears were returning, and his quickly followed behind. They said nothing as they cried softly, holding one another through their sadness and worry. As the tears slowly subsided, their emotional exhaustion overcame them, and they drifted off to sleep together, cold mug of mint tea completely forgotten on the nightstand.

Amelia sighed as she shut off her car in the Target parking lot and opened the car door. It was 8:00 pm and she’d just finished her shift, but she was all out of floss and she was pretty sure they were on their last roll of toilet paper, so this errand couldn’t wait until tomorrow. She walked briskly into the store, hoping to make this shopping trip quick so she could get home, reheat some leftovers, shower, and grab her mug of tea before bed. As she made her way toward the personal care section, she noticed in her peripheral vision that she was passing the baby section. She couldn’t help but glance at the shelves of items that she would likely own in a few months time. She scanned the items quickly and was just about to turn around and continue on in her quest for floss when something caught her eye.

There, on a shelf at chest height, sat a stuffed giraffe. The toy was a carbon copy of Rufus. She involuntarily grabbed the toy and ran her hand over its soft, plush fur. As she did, her mind was flooded with memories. She remembered naming the toy that Leo had loved so much. Owen had thought it was a silly name, but he went with it, probably just to humor her. She remembered standing in the doorway to the nursery and watching Owen as he waited for Leo to fall asleep so that he could take the toy out of Leo’s crib. It probably would’ve been easier to just take the toy away from Leo while he was still awake one night and wait for him to settle down, but Owen had loved that child so much that he’d been unwilling to cause him even the small amount of pain that would’ve come with confiscating his beloved toy before he drifted off to sleep. Amelia’s heart warmed at the thought. She dropped the stuffed giraffe into her basket before continuing on with her shopping.

When Amelia arrived home that night, she was pleased to find that Owen was already home. “Hey,” he said from his place in front of the stove. He turned around and smiled warmly as she sat down at the kitchen table. “I have some soup on the stove. Would you like some?”

She smiled gratefully. “That would be great. Thanks for cooking.”

“Of course,” he replied before turning back around to dish up two bowls. He grabbed a couple glasses of water and sat down across from her at the table, and within a few minutes they were enjoying the warm soup in a comfortable silence.

When they had both nearly finished their soup, Owen spoke up. “So why did you get home so late tonight? I thought you said you were going to leave a few minutes after I did.”

Amelia nodded. “I did, but then I got hung up for another 20 minutes helping a resident figure some stuff out in the pit. And then I realized I needed a few things, so I went to Target.”

“What did you get from Target?” Owen asked while he stood up and began to clear their dinner dishes.

Amelia laughed softly. “I had to get toilet paper because someone forgot to get some last week when he went shopping.” Owen had the good sense not to attempt to defend himself. “I was all out of floss, too,” she added, hoping he would understand the implication that his failure to purchase toilet paper last week hadn’t been much of an inconvenience. “Oh, and this,” she said, reaching into the bag to pull out the other item she’d purchased.

Owen glanced back over his shoulder to see what she’d gotten. He was just about to turn back around and place the dishes in the sink when he realized what she was holding in her hand. He set the dishes on the counter and turned to fully face her. “What’s that?” he asked, though he knew exactly what it was. He’d recognize that toy anywhere.

“It’s Rufus’s brother,” she said with a soft smile. “I mean it has to be, right? They look just alike.” Amelia peered up at Owen affectionately, but when he still didn’t respond, she continued on. “I really miss Rufus, you know? He was a part of our family. He was a really great part of our family. I wish he was still here. So I thought maybe our child should have the opportunity to care for Rufus’s brother so that all three of us can remember the members of our family who aren’t in our house anymore.”

Owen was frozen in place as the weight of her words hit him. He didn’t know how she did it, but she always managed to find the perfect way to say the things he needed to hear. They hadn’t talked about Leo in weeks. Every once in a while, when one of them would mention the child that was growing inside Amelia, Owen would be hit with a memory of Leo. He never knew what to do with it. He didn’t know if it would really help him much to bring it up and talk about it again. And even if it would, he didn’t feel like it was fair to her to tell her that the foster child who’d lived with him for three months still had a piece of his heart, even now when they were having a child of their own. That felt selfish and wrong. But yet again, somehow she’d known, and she’d found the perfect way to gently tell him that she understood what he was feeling and supported him. He had no idea how he’d gotten so lucky.

As he continued to replay her words in his mind, his heart filled up all over again. Our family. She’d said our family. They’d been throwing the words “our child” around a lot, but that was just an objective fact. She was the baby’s mother and he was the baby’s father, so of course the baby was their child. But “our family” meant something entirely different. “Our family” meant more than just working together to give their child the life he or she deserved; it meant working with each other to give one another the life they both deserved.

In a matter of seconds, he had crossed the room and pulled her out of her chair. She opened her mouth to say something, but the words died on her lips as he pressed his mouth to hers and kissed her softly and sweetly. The kiss wasn’t long or passionate, but they could both feel the depth of emotion passing between the two of them as their lips slanted against one another’s. When he pulled back, he cupped her face between his hands and smiled. “Thank you,” he whispered. She smiled and regarded him for another moment before walking out of the room.

Amelia was lounging on the couch and reading a novel when Owen shuffled into the room and paused in the corner in that restless way that told her there was something he wanted to say, but he was afraid to say it. It was a Saturday, and they had been enjoying a quiet weekend. He had just gone out to the grocery store, but she’d elected to stay home and relax. He’d gotten home a little while ago and put all of the groceries away. He’d puttered around in the kitchen for another few minutes before working up the courage to come out and join her in the living room. “What’s up?” she asked, setting her book down on the coffee table.

He paused a beat before answering. “I made another stop on the way home.” He came over to sit next to her on the couch and held out a plastic shopping bag in front of her. “I bought something for the baby.”

She took the bag from his hands and reached inside to pull out the contents. She didn’t miss the way his eyes drifted away from her and toward the far wall as she pulled the mystery item out of the bag. When she looked down at what was in her hands, she giggled. “What’s this?” she asked, still laughing as she pointed at the white onesie with a soft pink unicorn on it.

She was surprised when his eyes met hers and there was not a trace of amusement in them. “Our baby already has something to remember one of her brothers. I thought she should have something to remember the other.”

Her laughter abruptly ceased when she realized the significance of the unicorn on the chest of the onesie. She couldn’t have stopped the tears that gathered in the corners of her eyes if she had tried. “Owen, I…” she began, but she trailed off as she turned to hug him.

He stroked a hand up and down her back and spoke softly. “That’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know that both of our boys will always be a part of our family. Even if I never met your son, he’s still a part of our family. You loved him, you carried him, and he was yours. He will always have a place in this home.”

She squeezed him tighter while her tears wet the collar of his shirt. Her heart ached at the thought of her son, but there was something else there. It was something she’d never felt before. In this moment, she felt like her son was real to someone other than her, and it comforted her in a way she couldn’t explain. Sure, Owen would never know the devastating feeling of handing your child over to another person knowing that his heart would be stopped in a matter of minutes, but his words, actions, and demeanor felt so sincere. He wasn’t just telling her the things he thought she wanted to hear, he actually believed in the way her son would always be her son. That mattered.

As she pulled back out of his arms and wiped her tears, a thought occurred to her. “Wait, you said ‘she’ and ‘her,’” she pointed out. “You think our baby is a girl?”

He nodded sheepishly. “I hope so.”

Her head cocked to the side. “You hope so? Why is that?”

He smiled. “Because if our baby is a girl, you and I both know she’ll be wrapped around my little finger from the moment she’s born, and you won’t be able to hold that against me. That means I get to be the good cop and you have to be the bad cop.”

Amelia’s jaw fell open. She smacked him firmly on the chest and scowled when he laughed, but her scowl quickly turned into a smirk. “Alright, fine. You spoil her, and I’ll be the one to teach her discipline and responsibility. But when she’s fourteen and brings home an eighteen year-old boyfriend, I’ll tell her I’m fine with it as long as her father is.”

Now it was Owen’s turn to scowl. “That’s not fair!” he said. “You can’t pin that on me.”

She shrugged. “You know your tender side has a soft spot in my heart, and you’re apparently willing to use that against me to make me do all the disciplining. It seems totally fair, then, for me to use your protectiveness against you and make you deal with our daughter’s boyfriend issues.”

He knew he’d been caught, so he did the only thing he could think of. He pulled her onto his lap, placed light, teasing kisses on her neck, and held her tightly when she giggled and tried to push him away. Eventually, he relented and slid her off of his lap and back down onto the couch next to him. When he glanced over at her and saw the mirth in her eyes, he could feel it. He felt it in the mundane rituals that had become the highlight of their days. He felt it in the ways they cared for one another through their grief. He felt it in the casual way they discussed how they’d mutually support and nurture their child. Slowly, their life together was shaping up. They’d shared this house before, and they’d been sharing it again for a while, but now they were finally building a home.

#omelia #omeliafic #omeliafanfic #amelia shepherd #owen hunt #grey's anatomy #greys anatomy

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pass3rby · 6 years ago

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Caught By Your Past

25th Part

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Pairing: Altair x Malik Warnings: modern AU, mature, OOC, original female character; unbetaed.

A/N: Good morning, San Francisco (or any other city of your choice for that matter)! Let's kick the day up, shall we?

She was on her way back home from campus when her phone went off. Having to fish it out of the tangle in her bag – USB cable, flash disc, second one, tissues, earbuds, lipstick – almost made her regret her habit of towing around the whole tech station and then some. Almost. She stumbled across her phone soon enough and the thoughts of getting rid of all those things first thing after stepping over the flat's threshold, disappeared again.

Checking the display, she gave a dejected sigh before accepting the call.

“Yeah?” So maybe her tone held a bit of a fake cheer, but there was no need to ruin someone else's mood, was there.

“There's this place I've heard is pretty rad!”

She figured as much; an eagerness to check out new places was a well-known trait of her friend. Trademark, barely restrained excitement in Mary's voice hit her full blast and really, was she ever void of energy? Gie was yet to see her anywhere near depleted. It would feel so good to talk with someone of a similar exhaustion level to her own. Maybe she could call Evie... Jacob's a pain in his sister's ass, too. That might work.

“Enjoy,” keeping up with the current conversation, she went with a sudden spur of a moment and entered a convenience store she was about to pass by. Time to treat herself; who knows how it'll look at home when she gets there. While choosing a thoroughly inappropriate late snack, she might as well listen to Mary, gushing over this new hot spot.

With luck, she only wanted to spill the beans and details about the new place and that would be the end of it. Gie was out for count as it was, just happy to drag herself to bed. Normally, she would welcome an opportunity to go out, but the constant hot & cold vibes coming from an unnamed pair of lost cases was starting to take its toll on her. Just as she was leaving for today's lessons, she heard them yelling again. And although staying out would keep her away from that for a little bit, she was ripe for a generous hibernation, not an evening out.

“You have to come with us!”

So, Mary was gathering a crew for the night out. Gie went with a neutral response, while absentmindedly checking one of the apples on sale:

“Sounds amazing-”

“I thought so, too! Pretty sweet. It's in a nice part of the city, too. Kinda dingy street, but it's not like we're gonna get jumped there.” True social life enthusiast that her classmate was, her mouth went two hundred miles per hour already, not even waiting for the explanative part of Gie's negative response. Also, no to that apple. Neither unhealthy, nor with enough chocolate percentage in it.

Tough luck today, buddy.

Skirting the whole fruit & vegetables section, she dived further to the more sin enabling and supplying section of the store.

“Altair and Malik are at each other's throat again.” There. At least she could make use of Mary knowing about the situation. Saves loads of time otherwise spent by a lengthy explanation. Maybe she won't even need to ring Evie up, after all.

Her friend, being a trooper, jumped promptly over onto the new topic like a pro.

“Thought you said neither of them is Spanish. Or French.”

“They're not, smartass,” and that chocolate looked tempting. She wasn't going to lower herself to buying an ice cream bucket, but that extra large hazelnut milk chocolate bar had her name on its wrapping. “You met them both to know that yourself.”

“So what's the deal?” Mary's voice was intent on the topic, fully focused like she always was with everything she decided to participate in. A good friend although and at the same time because of her brazen attitude, right there.

Okay, chocolate. You're coming with me. Do not resist and I won't be forced to use handcuffs on you.

Apprehending the criminal, she turned on her heel to go fetch something to drink, too – before re-turning around to grab a second bar. Just in case.

“I don't know. I mean, they are sorta... all-or-nothing kind of deal?”

“So, they either fuck or hate each other.” The words coming from the phone stayed true to its owner's spirit – no beating around the bush, they mowed the topic right over.

A vivid memory of mum threatening to wash her mouth with soap whenever she 'slipped', popped up in her mind. Mary wouldn't've last one day visit at their house without frothing at the mouth – one way or another. Funny thought right there.

“Pretty much. Without the-”

“-fucking. Yadda yadda yadda. I don't know if I should laugh at your brother or rethink my gender and step between them and wait which one would grab my ass first.”

“Mary!”

“What? They're attractive! Ten out of ten would tap that.”

Most of her friends did not miss the opportunity to tell her how dumb she was to let Altair go when their pack of she wolves was out last Friday. Mary'd just shrugged. 'Well at least you're out of competition if the guys ever changed their mind' – that're her exact words. While at least one of the girls would mean them, the free-spirited drinker had been quite obviously taking the piss. Like right now. Tough empathy – that's what Gie called it; Mary was the best.

Mood getting back on its feet, having shaken off the gloom, Georgie chuckled wryly and joined in the game.

“You'd stand no chance anyway. They wouldn't even notice you there.”

“That bad?”

“Their eyes are boning each other constantly, only their bodies resist the pull.” Now, that was a relief to say it out loud. Gie picked up a flavored green iced tea out of a refrigerator before making a bee-line to the cashier.

“Mindfucked too much?” It was hard to tell whether Mary was home already or not. While such generous use of foul language would usually point you somewhere 'safe to express yourself' if not in the home base direction outright, Mary was known to drop an F-bombs on a daily basis wherever. In the middle of the class wouldn't be her first time either. She lived closer to the campus, though.

“More like not enough.” Putting the handpicked items onto an empty space next to the register, she greeted the employee before refocusing back on Mary. Her answer must've betray a part of her previous dejected mood, because the response was instant and spot on.

“Damn. You're not coming, are you.”

“Not feeling it, I'm sorry.” There was no denying that she felt better now, but she'd still prefer to stay home tonight.

“Alright,” Her phone transported a heavily put-upon sigh right to her ear, “You're excused this once. If they drag you into their depressive circle of hell, though, I'm gonna come haunt their asses.” Fierce friends had certain perks.

“Or hunt.” Gie shot back good naturedly as she was getting through the payment procedure. That going off without a hitch, she was out of the store in no time.

“What do you know. It could bring the same results.”

“Despair?” It would be hard to miss her snicker. The door of the store closed behind her and she got back on her track leading home with renewed vigor, failsafe mechanism safely tucked in her bag.

“Ha ha. That's what I get for caring about you.”

But when the phone call ended ten minutes later, she wondered whether Mary will have to be taken up on her offer, if it'll really come to that. Will there be silence when she gets home? What sort of scene will greet her?[P1] To make the suddenly reinstated warzone even worse, the pair of undecisive fools was getting along pretty fine as of late.

Did Thor hit them with his hammer over their heads or something?

Now, arguments and bickering were a part of any relationship. Clashes were either handled or not and that was it; a 'make it or break it' sort of deal basically and again, a pretty standard one at that. These two? They had brought the art of disputes to a whole another level by the sheer amount of practice in pair. What was left there to argue about, though? She could swear that they've argued even about the water pressure in the shower already.

Taking a step back, maybe there was no need for them to make it official at all. They fought like a couple already, so there was a good chance that they had the partner software for encouraging staying together installed, too. But maybe not.

Them being as they are? Holding onto the remnants of their wild card statuses while also leaning over toward the other? It could bring literally anything. As of now, chaos and strangling of one another would be her bet on the most probable outcome, no matter what she really hoped for.

What truly boggled her mind was that the 'wild card' issue was more of Malik's signature there than Altair's. Sounding strange? Maybe because it was. If anything, you could always count on Malik being solid. As on him being a silent snide sniper. His words got the kill while his face might as well been cut from marble. That was his nature and it came with an objectively calm demeanor. All of that, her brother might rightfully pride himself for, because he perfected every single part of it to a state of art. Throwing him off, not to mention making his wall of tranquility crumble to dust wasn't an easy achievement.

Then Altair entered – or re-entered – the picture, turning out to be an equivalent to the proverbial fairy with a magical wand. 'Unusual' wouldn't even make the cut for an appropriate description of how out of character this was for her brother and still, the facts stood.

Not that she hadn't wondered about the strange enigma before; it only wasn't as important then as many other aspects that needed to be accounted for. But maybe it should have been. Altair's presence was undeniably toying with Malik on a full scale, so it was safe to assume that their whole relationship must've been even more complicated, elaborate or not, than she anticipated – and she gave a lot of room to possible variations of their history.

What was so bad about Altair that kept Malik doubtful?

Their personalities clashing could hardly be the reason – it obviously didn't matter even back in their heydays. Was he still hung up on the fact that she and Altair together were the plan A and the reason why the guy was here in the first place? Her brother could, indeed, hold a grudge. Was it the job? If so, then... Okay, it wasn't a traditional nine-to-five job where you are safely tucked in an office, she'd give Malik that. But Gie saw them together; this hesitating and dancing around each other would make sense only if they did not feel as strongly about each other anymore. To that, she called bullshit. She'd probably do the best to ask Altair about that when the soonest opportunity arises.

Using the key to their flat, she unlocked the door and nudged it ajar.

No sound.

Promising enough. Entering the flat, she put her bag on the bench right by the door.

Altair was passed out, half-lying behind the living room's low table, half-propped up on her beanbag in a position that suggested something was missing in the picture. The flat screen was still on, although only some commercial nonsense on low volume was taking up the screen there.

Before she could investigate the crime scene any further, different kind of muted noises caught her attention. They were coming from the direction corresponding with only one room in the apartment. That answered the question of where Malik disappeared to. Taking one deep breath for courage, she walked over to the kitchen.

“Hey.” Her greeting was on a cautious side of the spectrum, but nobody could blame her.

“Hey yourself,” Malik answered in kind readily enough if a bit distracted. Scanning what must've been instructions on a box of something presumably eventually edible, his attention taking its sweet time to shift onto her. Not that she minded; this wasn't bad compared to any kind of confrontation. She'd had it up to here of that.

“Coffee?” The offhand offer made its way to her, while Malik's eyes flicked back and forth between her and what appeared to be an instant version of Rubik's cube to him. An already made batch of coffee was the current main star of the kitchen counter. Steam coming from it declared that the beverage was fresh, too.

“Uh... I'll probably go with just tea? Thanks, though.” Perking up at that, he decidedly put the package back in the pantry, obviously finding the required amount of effort overly too much to bother with. It would also be Malik's attitude to food in general in a nutshell.

She was about to go over and set necessary things up to fix herself a cup, but Malik was one step ahead of her.

“The tests weren't bad then?” She watched as her brother proceeded to put water in the electric kettle before switching the thing on.

Oh.

“They were fine.” Since she had to wait for the water to boil, it was only sound logic to plop down on a chair – which was exactly what she did.

“Were they.”

“Stop it, you moron, you're not my parent.” Reminding him her adult status was a moot point now, but she did it anyway. Meanwhile, Malik poured himself a mugful of the steamy, tar black liquid, completely unperturbed.

“Look at the good news. The day's just gotten better for the both of us.” For all intents and purposes, his expectant look was interchangeable with the one of a hawk stalking its prey. She grudgingly conceded only because there was no other easy way of getting from under that type of scrutiny.

“I may not ace them both, but it wasn't as terrible as I expected. Professor de Sable took ill and our tests will be marked by a substitute teacher, so there's no way I'll get a bad mark on that one either.”

The nightmarish teacher had been picking on her ever since her first year of taking the course. She couldn't help but secretly think of his illness as a gift from above.

“I though you said you got a different lecturer already?” If Gie was ten years younger, she'd probably appreciate his brotherly frown much more. As it was, she could handle one numskull without any additional help.

“False alarm. That would be that substitute I've mentioned. Looks like the baldhead doesn't know when to-” Sensing warning in the air, she promptly changed the intended ending of her sentence:

“-leave the scene,” which was closely followed by a quietly mumbled “or kick the bucket” original version.

“You were saying?”

“I said that he apparently must've dig his heels in somehow.” Gie blatantly lied without an ounce of shame in her body.

The good thing about being raised into adulthood by a strict brother? He was still way more lenient than their parents would be. She held no hope of her brother believing that's what she really said, but he let her be anyway, because Malik himself thought that the guy was an asshole. But even better than that; any 'tight spots' like this one trained her in the façade game that Malik was a master of, too.

When he wanted to be, that is. Looking at him taking the box full of teabags in his hand, nose wrinkling in disgust, one wouldn't believe such a claim. If Malik could, he would hold that box like a bag full of dog presents, no doubt. Dork.

“Sheesh, you're a riot. Give me that,” Getting back on her feet, she stole the box which was offending her brother's sensibilities out of his grasp and fished out one teabag before storing the rest back in the cupboard. Right on time, the kettle switched off, too, so she threw the teabag inside an empty mug that Malik had left on the counter for that purpose exactly and poured hot over it straight away. Brimming with satisfaction, she looked over at Malik, who still did not bother to regain his stony decorum. As much as he was furrowing his brows, though, he was in a casual, laid-back mood.

“You should stop.” Still, his voice was as gruff as always. His nod towards her drink said all there was needed to decipher what he was referring to. She nonchalantly ignored the clue, pretending ignorance.

“With what?” She intentionally gave Malik an innocent look.

“Drinking that garbage.” As if she did not see that coming. The deadpan nag made her snicker for its utter uselessness. They had gone over this one thousand times already and yet, somehow, Malik never seemed to tire of it.

“You should stop,” she shot back to exact her revenge.

“With what?” Humoring her, he went along with the game, striking the familiar pose which included folded arms on his chest. His eyes were soft, though; contrary to their hard shine whenever adapting the posture in a serious conflict.

He probably expected her to say something along the lines of “nagging me about the tea” and to be fair, nobody could blame him for it since that was exactly what she wanted to go with. Initially. But a single, no matter how short, moment to rethink the opportunity was all it took to decide on a change. Biting on her lower lip, she went for it.

“Being so stubborn.” And she might as well ask for a sky to lean down and hand over some of its stars to her while she was at it. Honestly, Gie was well-aware of how her words sounded. But demanding an all-out annihilation of the character trait wasn't the point here. Therefore, she clarified:

“Why do you guys argue so much – really?”

Fully prepared to see him withdrawing into himself and closing off again, she faced a distinctly different reaction. While Malik was fast to catch onto what she was talking about, he showed no sign of being displeased with the topic.

“I argue with idiots in general. That's my job. I thought you already knew that.” Even busy with removing the teabag out of her mug after taking a careful, evaluating sip, it didn't stop her from pointing the obvious, encouraged by his response:

“Yeah, but not like you do with Altair...” It was much easier to continue pursuing the matter with his open attitude and his trademark scowl on vacation.

At last noticing that the issue was really troubling her, his blasé vibe evaporated out of the room. Sh- shrooms in a meadow. Counting her chickens way too soon.

“Geor-”

“I know I have no right to stick my nose into it, but what happened so wrong that you feel the constant need to butt heads?”

Silence and him clenching his jaw didn't look much promising in regard to her hopes of getting an answer when-

“We just do.” While his tone was even, and Malik obviously managed to reign whatever had made him grit his teeth in, all she got for her trouble was less than a bare minimum one would be able to work with. Before she could even let out a put-upon exhale at the cryptic reply, though, he gave in and elaborated further:

“It's the way we deal with stuff.” Now it was his turn to mumble something. What, Gie didn't manage to catch, “We've solved the... issue already, though.”

“So you'll argue less now?”

“Not likely,” if that wasn't a definitive statement right there. Splendid. She was starting to think that Mary was right. In one-year time, Italian mafia will pale in comparison. Relationship preferences...

Thinking back a bit, this was the first time Malik also openly addressed his relationship with Altair in her company. And what a fanfare did he chose to play it with. Speaking of that, on a closer look, Malik seemed this close to ask a question of its own, but he swiftly buried it expertly, shoving his attention into the caffeinated drink of his choice, he was holding. She could guess what this was about, though. Her brother was truly hopeless.

Ask who needs it spelled out for them again, brother.

“Hey.” Unphased, she walked over and started to unload stuff from the fridge that would make for a solid, good meal when rightly prepared. Chicken, vegetables and rice will do it.

“Hm?”

“I really don't mind, okay?” Malik took some time to react other than pin her with an intense gaze.

“Why?”

She smiled. For once, he was the dumb one.

“Because you're my brother.” Good and done with that, she pulled out a cutting board, issuing a challenge:

“Wanna cook together?”

“You'll tell me to get out in five minutes flat.” Was the gruff answer.

“That's not an answer.”

Keeping an eye on her with undisguised suspicion, he cautiously went to get a knife.

“The kitchen counter is not long enough for both of us.”

“I was here first!” Immediately calling dibs on the piece of furniture, she laughed as he swore.

#cbyp #assassin's creed #altmal

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powerfulexistance · 7 years ago

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Whoo, okay, so due to the Christmas rush I haven’t had much time to chat/post for a bit, thus the influx of activity from me today (on my first day off in five days—something my body very much does not appreciate). This will be a long post but I’ll try to keep it in a format that reads well D: Since I plan on taking Horizon to the pet expo in January I want to get Horizon used to large, echo-y buildings with lots of noise and people. Because of this I took him to the local mall (where there is a huge bowling alley, room with noisy arcade games, and a laser tag room!) so he can have some exposure to lots of flashing lights, groups of people, noises, and everything else that might normally upset a dog. (I can post full videos to the gifs above if anyone wants, but they aren’t very long or interesting. I do plan to start recording him more in the near future however so that I can re-watch them later for stress signals I might have missed and to check my timing with the clicker and rewards). When we got out of the car he was already dressed and in the mood to work. He led the way to a grassy area because I was already turned around (he knows I give him a chance to relieve himself before going in any store). It was something like 10F outside so he finished his business quicker than normal and offered eye contract in lieu of a sit with eye contact because it was so darn cold. He heeled very nicely, tight against my left side past two tipped over shopping carts (gif#1), and with the leash attached to his harness (normally he needs it on his collar but he was offering perfect behavior with the head halter on). When we got to the main doors he did not spook or darn ahead so our recent work on door control is starting to pay off! When I gave him the go-ahead he stepped indoors and didn’t anxiety shake or hit the end of the leash AND offered eye contact. A group of kids squealed at him but he kept a tight heel and didn’t bat an eye at them. We next walked half-way down the mall’s main strip (gif #2) and then decided to sit down and shape a nicer tuck and work on his natural settle next to the food court where there was heavy traffic. He did very well, settling quickly and offered discreetly watching people pass vs leaning out to sniff them/popping into a sit (gif #3/pic #1). After that I walked him outside so he could take a potty break and chance to show me if he was stressed out from the crowds (pic #2). He sniffed around some but mostly offered behaviors and kept his attention on me so I knew he would be fine with braving the crowds again. Upon entering we passed the food courts and started passing the toy stores and electronic booths placed in the center of the walkways. I made sure to weave between the booths so he could practiced heeling with those huge distractions. One of the first booths had a robotic yappy dog that flapped its ears and spun in circles atop a kid’s sized table. He took a second to eye it, falling briefly out of heel, and I suddenly realized that I had not prepared him for that particular instance at all. Thankfully there was not pressure on his leash at all and he slammed himself into a proper heel when I started walking backwards and offering his high value reward! We ended up taking a detour through Sears and their clearance winter decorations on the way to find a bathroom. He heeled past an assortment of Christmas trees arranged in their own little farm-like rows and past a stunning display of baby Jesuses (?) and moving deer. He also squeezed tight between me and the appliance section items (refrigerators, dryers, washers, ect). Once in the bathroom he spooked and tried to back out of his gear (I get super antsy, being trans, in shared bathrooms so he in part picks up on it). I really don’t like him to settle on those disgusting floors either so we have yet to do a lot of training surrounding his own bathroom phobias. Once I took off his head halter he calmed down and entered the disabled stall with me. Inside he gets flustered that he can’t sniff so he just stares blankly and stiffly :( After washing my hands and stepping out of the bathroom he did a big, good anxiety shake and only had to be told to heel once or twice (we had been in the mall for longer than planned at that point so he was tiring out, and after getting to a certain stress level he does significantly worse than normal). On the way out one booth had stainless steel “pods” with neon blue trim that you could sit inside and play some spaceship game. The height of the pods seemed to upset Horizon so we chilled next to it for a minute just fed him gobs and gobs of treats (as I still needed to go in one more store and needed his spirits up to do so). We got to Hot Topic and I started to feel some POTS effects like chest pain, brain fog, dizzyness, and such. I placed Horizon in a corner under a rack of shirts to sleep because I was afraid of fainting on him, but in my brain fog to find an employee and warn them about the situation I wandered a bit too far away from him and he broke his stay. I was briefly mortified when I turned around to find no dog but he was just chilling with a super sweet little kid about two feet away from where I told him to stay. Idk what exactly happened after, but I ended up on the floor with Horizon doing DPT and people were keeping a huge distance from us so I also can guess at what happened. I sat on the floor for about half an hour and an employee eventually came over to chat about SDs. His friend at school has one so he was the one telling everyone how to react more appropriately for me which was really nice. I had Horizon do a few down-stays after I felt better and the store emptied out (pic #3) and bought the shirt I had come in for (seen in pics #4&5). I also got some pins that I might put on his vest! I’ll post them shortly. Lastly he got to briefly be held like a baby when checking out because he wouldn’t stop offering DPT. When walking out we passed by some people who got really rude about Horizon “wearing a muzzle” in public and I kinda went into autopilot after everything that had happened. He pulled some/walked in a very loose heel as we neared the exit (the pulling was in a poorly behaved way, not like “he knew I needed it!!1!”/momentum pull way). It was something I expected after such a full day and didn’t worry when it happened (or when he only begrudgingly took treats when I attempted to fix it). Once outside I let him go to the end of his leash and inspect everything because we were both DONE after such a long day. I’m so happy that he didn’t balk at anything else on our trip and that he didn’t run away when I asked him to preform those down-stays. I see so much improvement in his behavior, even after these long stretches between regular PA outings and training sessions. He’s really a natural but needs a lot more maturity still!

#gif #Horizon #standard poodle #dogblr #service dog in training #service dog #training log

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sorasunao · 8 years ago

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Garish Room #28 [2017 ver. member A to Z case of Ruki] part 1

- Actor (favorite actor / actress, own acting ability)

Ruki: I watched the movie "Mommy" and the roles in it are very well executed. Antoine-Olivier Pilon plays the role of a guy with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), but I was very impressed, thinking that although he is young, he already has such amazing acting skills. And I like Jake Gyllenhaal. But I haven't acting skills. Since I'm just not that type of person (laughs). Beginning to be shy, I just can't stand it, and therefore I cannot remember the words at all. But during the performances I feel calm. When I hold the microphone, I'm all right. However, in the video, the one who gets recognition is more a director and his mores, not actors, right? Once upon a time I played an insignificant role in one video, but it was a complete failure. I wouldn't like to see it again a second time (laughs).

- Baby (when you behave like a child)

Ruki: By and large, I don't behave like a child. Perhaps I have many negative personality traits. I have no sense of time... basically I'm not at all reliable (laughs). And since that time, when I was a child, it's hard for me to get up in the morning. So, since then, I thought that I wouldn't become an employee of any company. I think that such place is not suitable for me.

- Christmas (memories of christmas)

Ruki: I can't tell stories about that time when I was in the middle and high school (laughs). What I very clearly remember...in those days when I was an elementary school student, there was gilded series of toys in a heat-resistant alloy “Saint Seiya” [*manga and anime]. It doesn't even need to specify which of them I wanted, because usually everyone expects that they can get Seiya, don't they? But I hardly got the figure of character-the villain Taurus Aldebaran. In addition, the part of his horn was rusty. So I was beside myself with anger, these are my memories (laughs). And I also with great difficulty shoved my legs into containers in the form of boots, where candies are usually placed, and decided to walk in them.

- Danger (it was dangerous!)

Ruki: That unpleasant time, when we continued to work with two managers, was creepy, isn't it (bitter smile). I wonder what other guys answer? Is it possible that we had anything more dangerous than this?

- Emergency (things you think you need to do now, as soon as possible)

Ruki: There is a lot of! For example, I still didn’t write the lyrics to 「taion」, which we will record the day after tomorrow, so I need to hurry with this. If we talk about things that do not concern work, it occurs to me that I didn't receive my ID card.

- Fashion (preferences in style)

Ruki: It seems that I have them, but it is not. I really like European-style clothes, but those that I wear every day mostly single-color and without patterns. I have a feeling that among such things I'm looking for suitable ones. The print on clothes is ok, too, but such clothes that I would like to wear is very hard to find. Next, there is no more clothes about which I would have thought "I want this!", so I create it (with the help of my brand). Therefore I wear it, but when some of this is worn by other members, I immediately stop wearing it (laughs). Ah, maybe I yet like it when a person, who I don't know, wears my brand's clothes. I don't take up making things of too high brands, but at the same time I buy unusual things.

- Ghibli (Ghibli's favorite works)

Ruki: Not that I really liked them, but among them there are those that I can watch, as "Spirited Away" or "Kiki’s Delivery Service". Although, I don’t watch them very long (laughs). But those who like Ghibli, certainly, also will choose "Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind" and "Laputa - Castle in the Sky", which I don’t like at all. Perhaps this is my prejudice, but I don't like something like "flying in the sky" and such things. And then something else like how they get out of huge cars (laughs). First of all, I donэt like science fiction, but its pretty realistic representation, it's probably a good thing, isn’t it?

- Health (what do you pay special attention in the field of health)

Ruki: I always take biologically active supplements. And I realize that in order not to catch cold, you need to take vitamins. During the tour, even when I sleep, I always put a mask on my face, but, despite this, I still catch a cold. As for food, I don’t pay much attention to it. I eat everything.

- Immorality (about treasons, which became a hot topic in 2016)

Ruki: Treason... Watching this, I felt that I am very sorry for those who are deceived. Couldn't they have discovered it so far? This is also often said in the news. But I think: "How is it?". Well, if we talk about treason as such, then it is considered that before marriage it is allowed. But even if it's not a treason, when someone looking like a persone without drawbacks, does something that causes bitter feelings behind your back, I immediately think: "ahaaaa..." (laughs). "Love intrigue," in a literal sense, an amazing thing, isn’t it?

- Junk (unnecessary things at home)

Ruki: I do not have that. Since I almost immediately get rid of them. I'm not used to things, and I'm not that type of people who think - I'll leave this and this too. Clothes that I don’t wear for a year, I throw out with the thoughts "I, after all, don't wear it", but after that it happens that I regret it very much (laughs). Therefore, I throw out too much of everything. Also the contents of the personal computer - doing the cleaning, I brought everything in order there, but I deleted everything down to very important things that I shouldn't delete (laughs). I often throw away all unnecessary, leaving only the necessary minimum.

- Kimi no Na Wa (the film "Your name")

Ruki: I didn’t watch it. Is it by Ghibli? No? It seems that at the moment I'm completely unaware of anything (laughs). I don’t watch them, if there is a manga with drawings made by the technique of soft touch. Although I often go to the cinema, I look sideways at the one where are always a lot of people. In this movie theater the main film is "Your name", so I immediately think something like "than to go there, I'd rather go to this one" (laughs). And in the future I'm also not going to press this button (with this movie) on the ticket machine.

- Love (the importance that love occupies in your life)

Ruki: During puberty everything else except this (love) wasn't important for me. But as I grew older, everything changed significantly, and if to tell frankly (laughs), I guess it's because now I'm very busy with work. In high school, the band was just a hobby for me, so I wasn’t so passionate on this to really went into it with my head. Since I just approximated to the so-called ‘culture’, I guess that at that time, love in my life was quite significant.

- Moving (сonditions for moving)

Ruki: This is the layout of the house and what is in the neighborhood. As for the layout of the house, it will suit me even if the rooms are not very spacious, just to make the size fit so that I could live there. Since I recently said that I have few things, leaving only the minimum necessary, they should always be in my field of view. As for the environment, then, most likely, I ask questions, are there any supermarkets and pet stores, is it easy to catch a taxi, and whether it is convenient to get from this area to the city center.

translated from japanese to russian by shimizu_ran.vk for the_gazette_quotes.vk

translated from russian to english by me

as always thx for reading and sorry for mistakes ^^

#the gazette #thegazette #ruki #garish room #translation #interview #gr #GR28 #garish room 28

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aphsmuttydane · 8 years ago

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(HETALIA ADVENTURES AT THE MALL: inspired by a mall trip I had with @anna-animations11 today) Switzerland and Austria are exploring the first floor of the mall until they decide to go to the second floor. Austria heads for the elevator, Switzerland unwillingly trudging behind. They both step inside, a look of horror on the Swiss man’s face as he realized something Switzerland: “Oh god, I’m trapped in here with you…get me out! Help!” starts beating the door Austria: standing there silently but suddenly slumps within two seconds of being on the elevator “I’m tired.” ~ Prussia and Denmark are in the Dollar store, screwing around and eventually finding the cards. They pick up a few and start to read them Prussia: “ooh…look at this chick, she’s hot~” holds up a card with a girl on it to Denmark Denmark: grins and nods in agreement “Holy…she is hot…I’d do her.” Prussia: finger guns “sameeee” Denmark chuckles and starts to browse around for more cards, eventually finding one and tapping Prussia on the shoulder Denmark: “Hey! I should get this one for Iceland!” Prussia: “Oh yeah, what’s that?” looks over Denmark: extremely serious expression as he begins reading “Son…” ~ Ireland and England are at the Dollarstore. They are exploring the toy aisle, Ireland admiring the cheap yet somewhat amusing toys while England is trudging behind. The Englishman then spits something and quickly races over, his brother raising an eyebrow in confusion Ireland: “Hey England, what'cha got there?” England turns around, his arms wrapped around the box completely filled with My Little Pony toys England: “Grab the box and let’s go.” Ireland: starts to try and take the box from him “No, you don’t need that…” England: “IT’LL COMPLETE MY COLLECTION, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!” ~ Flávio (2p! Romano) and Luciano (2p! Italy) are browsing around a shoe store, the blond brother eagerly gazing around while the other is just fucking done with life Flávio: hums as he peers around “Now look, Fratello, I need white or pink stilettos. Help me find them, okay?” Luciano: “No, why on earth would I help yo-” Flávio: “Ooh~! Look at these red ones! Y'know, they’d look amazing on you, with your skin tone and all~” puts a hand on his shoulder Luciano: glares at him “touch me again and I will cut you. And no, I’m not wearing those.” Flávio: “But…they’d make you taller~” smirks Luciano: … his eyes dart around before leaning in towards his brother “As long as you don’t tell anyone…buy them.” ~ Julchen (Fem! Prussia) and Monika (Fem! Germany) are walking around Old Navy, the younger German sister being dragged in there after the Prussian insisted she should purchase her a dress in case a certain event came up (she was ultimately hinting at the fact that her and Feliciana (Fem! Italy) should go on a date) Julchen: “Why are we at the men’s clothing?! Monika, I wanted to buy you nicer, cuter clothing because you’d look more adorable!” Monika: “Why do I need those clothes anyways? I mean this jacket would look good on me…”holds up an green, camouflage print jacket that was in a kids size Julchen: raises eyebrow “I dunno…looks a little small for you. Do you think it’d cover your tits?” Monika: blushes “I-I’m not answering that!” Julchen: reaches out and grabs her breasts without saying a word, squeezing them “Definitely too big.” smirks Monika: “G-Gahh! Stop that! You can’t grab my breasts in a..s-store like this!!” Julchen: sets the jacket down for her, smirking “can I grab them when we get home then?”’ Monika: “No! Not there either!” ~ America and England are in Spencer’s, {a more mature store that’s almost like a Hot Topic} They come across a graphic t-shirt that catches their eyes America: “I only drink on days that start with T: Tuesday, Thursday, today, tomorrow, tednesday, thaturday, thunday” England: “Oh look, it’s my brothers.” British chuckle America: “And you too, dude.” England: “Absolutely not. I don’t drink that often!” America: … “Why the fuck you lyin’?” “WHY YOU ALWAYS LYIN’?” England: “I’m telling the trut-” America: “MMMMMMMMMM OH MY GOD” “STOP FUCKING L Y I N’” ~ Romano and Italy are searching through a store that specifically sells summertime things like bathing suits and such. As they walk in the store, they notice a large pool floatie that is designed to look like a pizza Italy: “Look! Pizza!!” Romano: “I don’t car-” “Wait…” Italy: “you don’t care? But it’s pizza, Romano!” Romano: “Get over here, we’re buying them all, help me carry them!” ~ Romania and Hungary are at a gaming store that also sells video game and movie merchandise, both of them not thrilled to be there with each other, this not being surprising. But then Hungary spots something that just makes her entire day, deciding to show Romania Hungary: “Hey, can you buy this for me? Holds up a pop figurine of Edward Cullen I really like this…and he’s even in a suit.” Romania: … “hISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS” Hungary: “Oh? Are you team Jacob then? holds up a pop figurine of Jacob Black I mean, he is kinda hot.” Romania: “…fuck you.” ~ Matt (2p! Canada) and Allen (2p! America) are browsing around a store, stumbling upon a selection of very…tasteful and mature posters. They both start flipping, Allen more eager to do so Allen: “Dayummmmmmmm!” Matt: sighs and flips to the next poster Allen: “Dayummmmmmmmmm!!!” Matt: “Yeah, she’s pretty hot.”!flips to the next one Matt and Allen: “Damnnnnnnnnn” they continue flipping, saying ‘damnnnnnn’ for each one until they come across a poster of Justin Bieber Matt: “…he’s yours now…” Allen: eyes widen “oh god no…although…pause he’s pretty hot.” Matt: slowly turns his head to him “Okay, no, bye, fuck you.” ~ Japan and America are in a store that sells a variety of anime merchandise America: gasps as he spots a wallet with Hatsune Miku on it “Dude! It’s Mooku!” Japan: “…Miku, America-San.” America: tilts head “Cheeku?” Japan: sigh “Miku.” America: “Leeku.” Japan: “Miku.” America: “Konniku.” Japan: “…Miku!” America gets distracted and makes his way over to some socks America: “Dude, it’s Narugo!” Japan: “…Narut-” America: There’s also Captain America socks, that’s totally awesome!“ Japan: “But…but…that was Naruto..” America: “Huh? Oh, Naruga?” Japan: “Naruto!” America: “Nasuto!” Japan: “Naruto…why are you so stupid..?” America: “Huh? You say something, dude?” ~ Estonia and America are in a store, walking around until Estonia paused, hearing a familiar song Estonia: “Hey, America! It’s my song…”*smiles as he starts to hum to ‘White and Nerdy’ America: Starts to rummage through some posters “that’s nice dude, they should really turn this off and put on my song though!” Estonia: “But…but…” America: “don’t care dude, don’t care”’ Estonia: “um…why is my song still playing then?” America: “I don’t know but I’m not listening to it…*starts to hum ‘America, fuck yeah’” ~ Scotland and England are looking around the dollarstore, England trying to make the most of the time with his asshole of a brother while Scotland is practically stumbling down the aisle England: turns around from up ahead “Go home, you’re drunk!” Scotland: hiccups “I’ll tell you what now…I’m not fuckin’ drunk…don’t go off tellin’ me what to do” England: rolls his eyes “Yeah, sure.” Looks over and notices some marshmallows to the left of him “ooh~” England pokes them and quickly walks away, Scotland poking them shortly after along with touching everything else that followed after it England: whips around “Stop touching things!” Scotland: “Don’t fuckin’ tell me what to do…I can touch this shit if I want to” They then go to the gardening and supplies section England: reaches for a traffic cone and places it on Scotland’s head Scotland: looks up “The fuck did you place on my head?” pauses and stares before posing “My people need me…” England: turns around and raises his eyebrows, wondering what the fuck he was doing “huh..?” Scotland: “….neigh…” ~ Poland and Lithuania are walking around a store together, Poland running his mouth as usual before stopping to admire a pink candle, trying to convince Lithuania to buy it for him, only to run his mouth again. Lithuania spots a ‘For Sale’ sign, quickly grabbing it and holding it above Poland’s head Poland: tries to turn around, clearly confused “Liet…what are you doing?” Lithuania: “O-oh nothing! Don’t worry!” Poland: smiles and continues to jabber on and on as Lithuania waves the sign in the air rapidly Lithuania: “SOMEONE BUY HIM, PLEASE.” ~ Back in Spencer’s with America and England America: in the middle of the store doing the whip “WHIP IT! WHIP IT GOOD!!” England: …Stop, Right now.

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apileoflaundry · 6 years ago

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found another thing

have you ever had a conversation with a cab driver? Yeah but never one that was all that interesting do you have any shirts from vacation/tourist locations? Used to have a ton of them, but not anymore. I had one when I was a kid, it was from Oklahoma, and it was about tipping cows. That was cool lol. what is one place you would like to go back and revisit? Chicago. Haven’t been there in awhile. which would you prefer: a homemade gift, or a store-bought one? Homemade but obviously I’d accept store-bought ones. have you ever hugged a complete stranger? I’m not sure but probably not

when was the last time you were “under the influence?” Never how regular of an occurrence is this? Never what random acts of kindness have you engaged in lately? Sometimes I pick up trash from the ground. Idk what else do you know anyone who has never read the HP books? who? Probably plenty of people but I don’t care who. I’ve never read all of them myself have you ever had a relationship last for a year or longer? It feels like I have but I can’t remember what ended it, or are you still involved? *shrug* what kind of scented lotion is your favorite? I don’t care where’s the weirdest place you’ve stuck your used gum? When I was a kid I stuck it in someone’s car, she was pissed and made me clean it up what’s the best time you’ve had at a high school sports game? I went to a game with my dad, it was my high school vs. some school whose mascot was the Coyotes. But it wasn’t held at either high school, it was at our rival’s if you’re out late, where are you likely to be? Not likely to be out late do you ever visit your mall’s arcade (if it has one)? It doesn’t have one when was the last time you had hot chocolate? It was at school and it was basically hot water shirts with sarcastic sayings: yay, or boo? Yay. I want some. I have a baseball shirt that says “touchdown” if that counts if “yay,” do you have a favorite? ”Why be racist, sexist, homophobic, or transphobic when you could just be quiet?” (maybe not sarcastic but it feels like it) if you lost the use of your limbs, would you still want to live? Yeah I’ve got too much to live for, hope in a better future and of course being there for my girlfriend as examples what’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss? Anything I fanboy over

what is your least favorite topic to discuss? Uhhh personal things when I’m talking to people I don’t want to share them with when was the last time you played hide-and-go-seek? A couple years ago with my cousins where was your favorite place to hide? I never had one what is your opinion on psychics? real, or fake? Isaac Newton didn’t even exist he was just made up, so was physics have you ever watched “are you smarter than a fifth grader?” Yeah, I actually liked it when I was a kid how would you rank your “class participation” in school? It’s horrible in a group because I hate talking to people, but I still raise my hand in class so it’s not too bad have you ever cut your own hair? how about anyone else’s? A few times for myself, never for anyone else. You know how in books and movies there’s a trope where a kid cuts their own hair and it looks like shit? That never happened to me lmao. what is your favorite holiday treat? My grandmother makes these cookies called chocolate dogs and they’re delicious. I should ask her for the recipe so I can make some on my own. how many people have you emotionally hurt? Don’t have a specifically number but probably too many. I’m not the absolute worst person in the world but I’m kind of fucked up. I’m working on bettering myself and I’ve made some progress, but I certainly feel ashamed of my past. how many people have you physically hurt? I fought with my brother as a kid. But other than that not that many, I’m normally not physically violent. were these times intentional, or were they accidents/mistakes? Well both...I don’t want to go into detail :P what is the last thing you asked your parents to purchase for you? I asked for a haircut yesterday because I have no money. My dad gave me $40 and I have yet to use it. do you have any buttons or pins on your backpack? No but it would be pretty cool to have some.

if yes, what do they say? N/A what is your favorite kind of lunch meat? Ham. It goes well with cheese. And this weird spicy mustard we have in the fridge. do you know anyone who is truly obsessive compulsive? Not that I know of. have you ever been confined to a wheelchair? No. how many “top friends” do you have on myspace? ???

do you like oatmeal? It’s okay. I’ve never had good oatmeal though, just the crappy packaged kind from the store.

how many people are on your bzoink friends list? ?????? How old is this???? do you enjoy mainstream music, or prefer underground bands? Depends on what “mainstream” is. The Beatles are very popular but they’re not the top band of 2019. Anyway I like rock music so not very mainstream in the first place how many bands are you “friends” with on myspace? W h a t are you friends with more bands than individual people? meep

do you have a library card? do you use it? Yeah but rarely. I should use it more do you cuddle with your pet (if you have one)? Yeah I cuddle with my cat! He likes curling in a ball next to me when I’m sleeping :3 do you have any candy left over from halloween? I didn’t go trick or treating last year so no. I have some candy stored in my bedroom though. It’s mostly stuff I don’t care about but it’s still candy have you heard of paula godspeed? No have you ever made a bzoink friend test? I’ve never even heard of bzoink who has the best score on it? Jesus Christ himself do you think that you work better under pressure? It depends on what under pressure means. I work better when a deadline is coming up, and I buckle down and get to work. But I don’t work well when someone’s yelling at me to get stuff done, it just makes me stressed and I don’t work well when stressed.

or, do you ONLY work under pressure? Uh no what college did you want to attend as a kid? ASU was that still your choice when you grew up? I mean I’m 18 but I still feel like a kid, my plan is to go there after community college what sports star or athlete did you aspire to be like as a kid? I don’t play sports what has happened to all your old toys? We threw most of them out. But some of them, like my baby toys, were given to other people. when was the last time you shopped at a garage sale? When I was 10. I had a babysitter that liked garage sales have you ever thrown popcorn at anyone? I don’t think so but it sounds like something I would do haha

What’s your definition of weird? There are different kinds of weird. There’s weird as in, you’re different from other people, and there’s weird as in, you’re fucking creepy. The former is like people who like things that aren’t socially acceptable but don’t harm anyone, and the latter is when they do harm others, like pedophiles. I gladly accept anyone who’s weird as long as they’re not the harmful type. Do you use shaving cream? No because as of the time of writing I don’t need to shave. When I start testosterone I will When was the last time you cleaned your room? Is your room clean? I cleaned up a little the other day but it’s still messy Have you ever personally known any girl who shaved their head? Not personally. Have you ever known anyone who committed suicide? No, but that would devastate the shit out of me.

Have you ever tried to commit suicide? Yep. Have you ever coughed up blood? I’ve coughed up mucus with blood in it, but never pure blood How do you wish you could die? In my sleep. And also when just about everything I’ve ever wanted to do in my life has been fulfilled. What’s the longest phone conversation you’ve had lately? I haven’t had one lately. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My dad I think What were the last words you said? ”(Brother’s name), be quiet” Who was the last person you hugged? My brother Do you have any apps on your Facebook? If so, what? Don’t have Facebook What’s some of the worst pain you’ve ever felt? Woke up one morning and my abdomen hurt like crazy for unknown reasons, I didn’t even want to get up. What kind of mouse pad do you have? I have one of a tiger that I’m not using. What color is your mouse? Black and gray. Do you or have you ever had an eating disorder? No. Do you think you’re fat? No. Do you know any who might be anorexic? Do you know anyone who has bulimia? Not that I know of. Did you ever want a pony when you were little? Yeah, I was never crazy about it but I had a toy pony named Boots, named after a pony my grandmother had. What’s your favorite cheese? Monterrey Jack I guess What’s your favorite cake? Ice cream cake is the shit What are you having/what did you have for dinner tonight? I didn’t have much of a dinner but I stole some fries from my dad and I had a shake from Sonic. What’s your favorite dessert food? Brownies. With M&Ms. What’s your favorite candy? Snickers. Have you ever had a Nos? Wtf is a Nos?? How long have you been taking this survey? A couple hours on and off What are you listening to right now? Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups. It reminds me of a friend I used to have. Our friendship died awhile ago, maybe it was mostly my fault for not maintaining it, but I still find it sad even though I haven’t talked to him in years. Still it’s a great song, I just felt like sharing that What is the closest thing to you right now that is alive? My family sleeping What’s your worst fear? Shitting myself. I’m not kidding it scares the hell out of me Are you an outcast? Absolutely. Do you exercise? Hardly ever. I walk occasionally and ride my bike infrequently, but that’s about all I do. I know I should exercise more but I’m not sure where to start Do you hate it when people repeat themselves? Only when it’s annoying Do you say like a lot? Yep What’s your favorite carnival food? (cotton candy, corn dogs, funnel cake) Fried Twinkies Do you have a good memory? In 5th grade we went on a field trip to St Louis. We went to this museum for kids and I had a lot of fun. The most I remember of it was that there was a slide that was dark and it sent you to a room, and it had a camera so you could see if someone’s on the slide. We flipped off the camera. Do you dislike writing school essays? Yes Are you a very open-minded person? I’m mostly open-minded but not as much as I could be. Are you modest? Yeah I think so What kind of guys/girls do you usually fall for? Funny, dorky, kind ones.

Do you skate? Not really Are you in a band? Nope Can you play the guitar? If not, what other instrument do you play? I wanted to pick it up a long time ago but I hate playing instruments. I don’t know how to play anything besides the recorder If you were to make it big with your own band, what would its name be? The initials of everyone in the band (idk) What’s your favorite kind of pasta? Spaghetti but I fucking love pasta Would you rather a friend come over to your house or you go over there? I go over there What’s the perfect first date? Cuddling and watching anime Have you ever had rabies? No Do you know anyone who ever had to get a rabies shot? No Have you ever gone hunting? No Ever eaten deer? Duck? Squirrel? How about lamb? No Are you a vegetarian? Nope, I love meat Do you know any vegetarians? What about vegans? Yes Do you know what a vegan is? How about fruititarian? Oh come on What’s your favorite search engine? Google Internet Explorer or Firefox? Safari or Firefox? Chrome Do you have hair in your nose? Who doesn’t?? How long, in miles, is the width of your fingernail? 100000000000000000000+ miles Are you a math wiz? Noooo What’s your favorite subject? Don’t have one What is your locker number at school? Do you have a lock on your locker? We don’t have lockers. Used to but we got rid of them Have you ever received a note in your locker? No Do you like to laugh? Definitely, but doesn’t everyone?

Damn it’s over? I want to write more even though I'm tired :<

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westfivestory · 7 years ago

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One With The Couch

I did it, I spent the entire weekend doing nothing with the kids…and yes…it was awesome and entirely by choice. I might have to do this more often because those bags that were so prominent under my eyes on Friday…seem like nothing more than a distant memory now.

The Diet

Yep, you read that right…the diet.

Now I can’t say for sure if it is a diet or “a lifestyle change” cause we all hate the “d” word, but since I’m not fooling anyone anymore and have zero interest in squeezing into spanx or whatever is the going trend, I’m going to attempt it.

The one thing I’ve learned…first of all, the food is pretty awesome, I’m not going to lie, I rarely get through reading the menu of a diet, let alone actually eating it, but this one is pretty great. No sugar that isn’t in the fruits etc., that may be my down fall. I have noticed that I do fine all day until supper is done and then the sugar and caffeine deprivation gets to me and I cave. So technically I have lost nothing yet. I need to either empty my house of junk food or have some one follow me around and slap me every time I do the unthinkable…reach for the cookie jar, bag of chips or that glass of pop.

Motivation just doesn’t seem to matter at this time of the day. Maybe getting off the couch will be the key to success, as long as that doesn’t draw me straight into the kitchen.

CBD Oil

We are still trying this. Maybe we need to try a stronger dosage…I really don’t know anymore. Is it the solution. If it is that would be awesome, I’m just wondering when the signs point to No?

I was approached to sell it. A MLM type of thing, much like Avon, Rodan & Fields etc. After some research and thought, I think I will stick to sampling and seeing where we can get the best for her, if that is the solution that works. The grade level I already have is higher than what they want me to sell. So I can’t see it being more beneficial to her. Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s what research on Google says.

As we all know, you should always believe what you see on the internet.

Well, maybe not always, but in this case, I’m good with my findings.

A Milestone

One little man is turning 6 tomorrow and he is so excited he can barely contain himself.

Apparently, being 6 opens up opportunities you wouldn’t even imagine. He believes that when he wakes up in the morning, he can literally do anything and everything that he always wanted to do but wasn’t allowed.

He seems to think he has more privileges tomorrow than his 10-year-old brother, I’m not sure where he is getting this information, but if he has these ideas, this year might be a bit of a rude awakening for him. We might have to ease into these new and oh so exciting firsts.

I guess we will see what tomorrow brings. Which side of the bed and which insane hairstyle accompanies that attitude. It’s always a guessing game.

Happy Birthday Gunnar!!!

The first thing he asked when he woke up this morning, “so I’m six now? It’s my birthday?”

I said “No, sorry, that was yesterday, you slept through the entire day, it’s now Valentine’s Day, you better get ready for school.”

“Did I get my presents?”

No, you were asleep, we didn’t go anywhere.”

“How come you didn’t wake me up?”

“We tried, but you were out cold.”

“Oh…when is my birthday going to be?”

“In a year.”

He believed me more or less all day. I even drove him up to the school doors. Mean, maybe, but we did go out and have an awesome day regardless.

First stop, after the school parking lot….Toad Hall Toys.

We tried on costumes, played with toys, checked out the lizards and had an all around awesome time. All we left with was a lollipop and slime. Just the necessities.

Next stop…Polo Park…the Lego Store was the intended stop, but we got side tracked. So the first store was Pylon, we snuck out before buying anything. We explored the Lego Store and only left with a small Lego character before heading back to Pylon and getting a Black Panther stuffy.

Phew, now with that all done, we were hungry…Subway it is.

The lady working laughed as Gunnar explained that he would get a 6″ out of a foot long. He has a way of explaining things that really are just more confusing. Now with lunch out of the way, we nearly ran through the mall to reach our car in time to have plenty of free time to jump.

Unfortunately as we walked out of the mall, I realized Gunnar did not have the Hot Topic bag with all of his presents including his new Dead Pool wallet. Oh shit. Back in to the mall we go, this time running back to Just Cozy, I found some slippers, the Food Court, the washroom, Hot Topic, no bag, but we did learn where guest services was, so fingers crossed we made our way there to see if we were lucky enough that someone would have brought our stuff to lost and found.

Apparently we have some pretty amazing horse shoes hung somewhere and right on the counter, there was our bag with all of our items. Yay!!! Birthday saved. Thank you, whoever you are. You really made his day and mine. Faith in humanity restored. Now off to jump.

We hit up Flying Squirrel. They gave Gunnar the toddler rate, which was awesome. It was a blast, we hit each other with battle bumpers on a balance beam, took a turn at tight rope walking (we have no future in the circus), played basketball, swung from a rope onto an air bed, and jumped like crazy all over the indoor park. It was so much fun. Gunnar figures he made a new friend, the guy that worked there was super nice and showed him flips over one of the track areas. Definitely a cool place to check out. I think we will likely go again.

After all the jumping and a slurpee to go, we were off to our next adventure.

Walmart…we needed supper food. What to get when you are 6 for your birthday dinner? You guessed it, hot dogs, chips, chocolate cake and pumpkin pie. Why not?

We had supper just our family, but our neighbors and J joined us for cake and pie.

We had a great day. One that this little man will be looking forward to until next year. He even got a video chat with grandma and grandpa. He was so excited to show them everything he had gotten today and to tell them all about his day.

Wipeout

While getting things ready for the Winter Carnival, and looking out for the safety of our guests, we should and did test out the sledding run ourselves, and if nothing else, occasionally a well-deserved break is in order.

One of my co-workers had an inflatable sled and I was equipped with a crazy carpet. If we had taken bets, we would both have assumed that my ride would have been far better and faster…and we’d have both been so very very wrong.

He made it down the hill with only one hold up. I had a few very jerky moments and a complete 180 resulting in my wipeout and snow up my shirt and down my pants. Thankfully before attempting this, I did pass my phone to another co-worker to hold. Much like holding my beer, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I guess we have some packing down and touchups for the run, but in good time, it should be a pretty great hill.

If The Dress Fits

Mikayla’s dress for the gala has arrived, well technically it arrived a week ago. We have been so busy that today was the day we decided to try it out. It fits, its a little short. Might be more of a long shirt than actually considered a dress, but throwing on a pair of tights should make it all good.

What Spews Forth From The Mouths Of Babes

In this case, there are no words of encouragement or funny sayings, nope, not this time. This time it was straight up vomit…yep hearing it hit the floor from another room and that feeling of dread and also thankfulness that I wasn’t right there to get the afterspray or the visual was actually a blessing. Poor guy. His awesome birthday yesterday and the high of that moment, only to end this day crashed on the couch all evening and then to stand in a large puddle of vomit. Gives a whole new meaning to V-Day.

The Latest Stressors

For the last couple of weeks I have had minimal sleep. Yes, Mikayla still wakes me up occasionally, and as much as I have gotten used to that, the new events have also been causing restless sleep.

I have awoken at approximately 5 am each day panicking that the events will flop, no one will show and any other possible disaster that you can think of.

I for one, am super happy that its over, maybe the turn out wasn’t quite what we projected or hoped for, but the ones that did come had a blast and that is what is important.

The gala looked awesome, everyone pitched in to help make it amazing and the kids danced all night and took so many photos at the photo booth.

The winter carnival the next day was a lot of fun as well. Danek came with me to help out and there was a lot of things that he was able and more than willing to help out with. His hard work paid off and he was able to enjoy all of the winter fun, skating, sledding, hood hustle, etc.

Drained

I’m done. Before heading to work for the winter carnival, Mikayla told me I should quit my job. She is just tired and wasn’t really prepared for the early morning affecting her as much as me I guess.

Anyway, I woke up this morning, and multiple times through the movies last night and most of today and as much as I enjoy my job most of the time, I feel like I’ve been beaten up. My legs and feet are so sore from the cold and probably not sensible shoe choices, the wind burn from the carnival sucks, much like a sunburn, my face feels swollen and my lips are seriously chapped. A blanket and disappearing from the world is about all I wanted today.

I am really hoping tomorrow is better. Maybe some more sleep and relaxation will work. Thank goodness Monday is a holiday, I don’t think I’d make it into work.

February 18, 2018 One With The Couch I did it, I spent the entire weekend doing nothing with the kids...and yes...it was awesome and entirely by choice.

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whosebody · 8 years ago

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personal stuff

I have been thinking a lot lately, probably too much. Thinking about why I eat like I do. About my childhood. We always had enough to eat, but I never felt like there was enough. I felt like my dad got so much more. Maybe because he was a grown man with a job, but it didn't seem fair at the time because I was still hungry too, and I never said anything. Never saying anything seems to have been something I was trained to do from a young age. My mother had serious mental health issues, depression, anxiety, and for many years crippling agoraphobia. My father also had issues. He was (and still is) an OCD hoarder. And by hoarder, I don't mean a packrat. I mean wall-to-wall piles of magazines. We could never have anyone over; it was simply too embarassing. Both my parents had wonderful qualities as well, and I don't mean to imply otherwise. I was spanked exactly twice in my life. They were not verbally abusive. We were poor, but we had enough (sometimes barely) and they always saved all year to give us a nice Christmas. I was so protective of my things. If you wrecked or lost something, it wouldn't be replaced before next Christmas, if ever. Even gifts I didn't particularly want, like Barbies, I carefully stored and protected. I used my crayons gently. I saved things like paper until I was absolutely sure what I wanted to do with it. At one point, to make extra money, my mother started babysitting and doing after school tutoring. The kids she brought over, well, their mothers worked. They had lots of belongings, and if something was destroyed or used up or lost, they could get another. They did not treat our belongings with any respect. Crayons were snapped. Toy gas stations were trampled on and broken. And nobody said to these kids, as they did to us, "Watch where you're putting your feet." I hated those kids. I hated sharing with people who didn't give a shit about me. I felt stolen from. And to this day I don't like to share, even with my husband and kids. I don't want anyone else driving my car or using my computer. If I crash my own car or download a virus, well so be it. I try hard not to do those things, but it could happen. And even if I don't, cars and computers don't last forever anyway. But they last longer if you take very good care of them. If you're careful. I have watched as my friends' kids destroyed cars they could not afford to replace, and I said no. Not me. I won't risk it. I saved up and bought another car and let the still-at-home spawn drive the old one. That way if something terrible happens, I will not be screwed. Clothes last years for me. I rarely use bleach, I wash everything gently and am careful not to ever ever overload the washer and dryer because they also have to last, right? I have lots of clothes stockpiled that I found on sale. Carefully stored for someday. If I have this surgery, someday will probably never come for many if not most of these items. It has been a struggle to let go of some of them. Apparently I also have the hoarder gene, if not so strong as my father (and his sister). So I have been thinking how being forced to share created in me difficulty sharing. About how it helped create in me an inability to set boundaries, to say no. Except of course when I scream no at the top of my lungs and refuse to share at all. Apparently I have no middle ground. I can't tell someone I don't want them at "my" support group meeting, but I can completely stonewall and refuse to let anyone drive my car ever no matter how legitimate the need. Then last night I watched an episode of Roseanne, and during the opening theme this happened inside my head. If what doesn't kill us is making us stronger We're gonna last longer Than that greatest wall of China Or that rabbit with the drum. If there's one thing that I learned While waiting for my turn [That's what you've been doing, and the problem isn't sharing. The problem is, you're waiting for it to be your turn.] It's that in each life some rain falls [But get this. You are playing by rules nobody else is following. Everybody else is just going ahead whenever they get the chance while you stand back here politely waiting for a turn that is never going to come because THERE ARE NO TURNS.] But you also get some sun. [It's like you're waiting in a groecery store line and keep letting everyone else go first because they have fewer items, or they're more busy, or they're more important or more fragile or just somehow more deserving.] And we'll make out better than okay Hear what I say Hey, any day [Are you going to stand back here trying to be nice until you die? Or are you going to say fuck that and get in the damn line?] Well, that's something to think about, except ever since it occurred to me, I haven't been thinking. I've been feeling. And I don't like it, not one little bit. And how I have been feeling is angry. At my parents in general, but my mother in particular. I know my parents did the best they could, and in many ways they were wonderful, but damn people. Could you have taught me that it was okay to say no? That it was okay to not share? That it was okay to set limits and boundaries? Well maybe you couldn't, but I wish you had. How different would my life have been? And morely--WTF is up with me spending my entire life putting your needs first? Tippytoeing around my mother, because she is too emotionally fragile and needy herself to deal with a small child who actually needs anything, and if she can deal she has to spend that energy on the other child, my brother, who never slept. (Never. Not more than two hours.) Tippytoeing around her because she is depressed, or because she is anxious. Never asking for anything that requires her to leave the house because she can't, except for groceries and the library, and then only if our dad went with her. Once kids were picking on me at school because I only had one outfit. It was clean, but they didn't know that or didn't care. So the teachers told my mother, and she and my dad took me to K-mart to find another outfit, but I couldn't choose because I had to decide right the hell now so she could go back home, and I couldn't. So she freaked out, walked out, and we had to leave, and follow her up the road in the car, which she refused to get into. I learned to do my own shopping fairly young. Also laundry. I had to make my clothes last a long time, because I didn't have many and also...drama. I just this very second put that together. Now she didn't decide to be an emotional lunatic, or deserve it, but the thing is, I didn't choose it or deserve it either. I wish I had not learned to put everyone else first and myself last all the time. I wish I now knew how to decide when it is fair to put my needs aside, because I really can't tell. Every request seems equally reasonable and yet intolerable, just like any request to borrow my car or my laptop seems both reasonable and intolerable. I have dug myself in so deep on this topic, I really don't know where to go with it now. I'm just angry. I don't think it's fair or reasonable to be this angry, but I am. And I kind of want to say, I'm allowed to just feel how I feel and anyone who doesn't like it can put on their big girl panties for a change. Because whether it's fair or reasonable, I can't seem to do fair and reasonable this week, and whenever I try to be fair and reasonable I just want to eat things. Many things. Many large, savory, fatty things like pizzas and hot dogs and bacon cheeseburgers. Instead I plan to make stuffed mushrooms tonight, but still.

#wls #gastric bypass surgery #baggage #emotions

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