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aros001 · 3 years ago

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First time read through light novel vol. 18. Random thoughts.

I somewhat suspect the author was hungry while writing this volume.

Also, wow, I knew Kizuna was short but the prior artworks never gave me the full idea of how short. She

is only chest-high compared to Naofumi and Glass (I suppose that could make Glass happy, though; ease of access for Kizuna and whatnot).

Given that, outside of the natural gluttons like Filo, S’yne, and the killer whale sisters, the only person on Naofumi's side with the "Eat food for EXP" matter is Itsuki, I think this is him falling dangerously close to thinking only in terms of game mechanics instead of reality, much like the other three heroes had been early on. Theoretically, yes, if you can gain levels and strength just by eating, why wouldn't you do a lot of it? But he's almost outright ignoring the physical discomfort and pain it's causing his allies and seeing only the numbers. Not to mention that he himself doesn't appear to be eating nearly as much, as he's focus on the cooking.

That said, it is cute that this is the first time in her life Filo is starting to feel full.

Chapter One: Sloth

OH SHI-! Oh, wait. Wrong franchise. We're good. I did not want to have to imagine Kizuna biting her fingers off (Kizuna: "My brain trembles!!!).

If Kizuna is indeed suffering under the curse of Sloth, I'm curious what triggered that specific sin for her. We only have the four heroes of Raphtalia's world to go off of but each sin applied to that specific hero for a reason. Naofumi: Wrath because of his hatred of what Witch and Trash put him through. Ren: Greed because he wanted more EXP, levels, and loot; a toxic extreme of his solo-adventuring. Itsuki: Pride because he believed only in his view of justice. And Motoyasu: lust and envy because of his obsession with Filo and being kept away from her. Kizuna's obsession with fishing, even when there's other important matters that need to be dealt with, I suppose could be considered lazy and thus lead to sloth as its extreme, but it feels a little bit like a stretch.

As he did so, the books from a nearby shelf whirled up into the air, forming . . . a dinosaur . . . perhaps. No, a dragon. The monster’s name was “Magical Tome Dragon.” Now things were really getting a bit crazy. A dragon created from books! Was this some kind of joke?

I want a Yu-Gi-Oh card of that.

“Don’t tell me, Glass is like the Raphtalia of this world? Could we really get that lucky?”

I mean, that's what the fandom likes to joke when it comes to her and Kizuna.

Breaking the sloth curse through Kizuna's love of fishing was about what I expected. Not complaining, of course. Again though, I'm just wonder what about her coincides with Sloth. She prefers talking it out and making allies as opposed to fighting but I wouldn't exactly call that lazy or slothful either.

Kizuna had a lot of folks like this among her allies—people who had started out as enemies but then became allies. If I fought someone as an enemy, there was generally no coming back—there were exceptions, like Sadeena and Shildina, so it was probably better not to generalize.

Glass and L'Arc are literally standing right next to Naofumi as he thinks this and Motoyasu, Ren, and Itsuki all tried to murder him at one point or another. S'yne was part of the gladiator fights too, now that I think about it, and while they never fought he and Trash were definitely enemies for a while. This dude turns more enemies into friends than freakin' Naruto. Being kind of oblivious is part of Naofumi's character but I suppose this could be seen as an interesting look as to how exactly he considers someone an enemy. If they fought him for reasons he eventually came to understand and sympathize with, then he perhaps doesn't consider them as ever having been a "true" enemy.

Aww, Glass is jealous of Tsugumi being close to Kizuna. And unlike Raphtalia with Naofumi, Kizuna doesn't have any kind of tragedy that keeps her opposed to relationship and would require Glass to be patient. I suppose Glass could simply be afraid of hurting their friendship by proposing romance or even that Kizuna doesn't swing that way. And this is from Naofumi's perspective, so Glass being gay could be completely off the mark. Still, it'd be nice to get a solid landing one way or another. Even Eclair unknowingly rejecting Ren at least give solid confirmation that he's into her and why they're not together.

“What! I’m the Hunting Hero! I don’t handle the cooking part!” Kizuna complained.

“And I’m the Shield Hero!” I retorted. Not the Stewpot Hero! If anyone called me that, I would kill them with cookery!

And technically, you're not even that right now. Not with that mirror on your arm. The mirror is cool and all but I am looking forward to Naofumi eventually getting his shield back. He just feels incomplete without it.

“Almost feeding time!” one of them said. Others proceeded to chime in.

“Yes . . . the time we’ve all been waiting for.”

“The moment we live for, basically!”

“Even if I only get to eat one mouthful . . . that is the fuel that will keep me alive!”

“I’ll never eat anything but his cooking ever again!”

“I think the schweiz is the best! It has to be!”

“No! The stietz!”

“Hey! No fighting! We’ve been warned about fighting!”

Did they stumble across a food cult?

“It isn’t bad,” Filo said. “It just isn’t as nice as yours, Master.”

“Well, okay . . .” I replied.

“All of the heroes have cooked in the village, Mr. Naofumi, but Filo and everyone else all feel the same way,” Raphtalia told me.

Filo also grew up with Naofumi's cooking since birth, so while he's already a good cook you get the added taste of home for her. I've said it before but out of everyone I consider Filo to be the most like Naofumi's daughter.

“Then you wish to settle the bill,” she replied. I thought it was free. As my suspicions intensified, the girl spread both of her hands and continued. “How was the food at Seya’s restaurant? It was so delicious, wasn’t it? If you wish to become a member, please leave all of your assets or hand over anything that can be turned into money. If you leave some personal items as collateral, you can have some time to go and fetch some offerings.”

Yep, that's a cult alright.

“Master’s food!” Filo said.

“They’ll get a surprise when they taste what you’re cooking, kiddo,” L’Arc said.

“Indeed. Your victory is assured, if that’s the best they can do,” Glass agreed. I was still concerned about how aggressive they were being. Were they hopped up on endorphins or something? They weren’t acting in character at all.

My first thought was that the OOC behavior was some side effect Naofumi didn't realize came with the Mirror weapon's power-up method, but then why wouldn't Raphtalia or Kizuna be effected when they have been eating the food too? Then I thought maybe they were more used to eating Naofumi's food in general and would have a tolerance to any addictive effects, but then why is Filo still effected?

“That’s the best dish Seya’s restaurant has to offer! Seya’s curry bag! And it’s Fifth Floor too!” one of the MCs shouted. I barely stopped myself from tipping over onto the ground. He really was just reheating a premade curry in a bag! So he was allowed to heat and serve already finished dishes? I mean, that might give me some ideas myself . . .

“The flavors that are normally lost in reheating have been sealed in the bag using proprietary technology! Now you get the maximized flavor from the moment you open the bag! This truly is the ultimate culinary technique! Everyone, watch this kitchen miracle closely as it unfolds before your astounded eyes!” The MCs continued their diatribe, but it just made it harder for me to keep a straight face. It was all a matter of perspective. Capturing the flavor in a bag was certainly a worse approach than making it on the spot.

“Naofumi . . . am I imagining things? It looks to me like he’s just adding or warming up instant ingredients using hot water,” Kizuna said.

So, like most other antagonists in this series lately, Seya is just an arrogant, entitled fraud high on his own stolen power. Why am I not surprised? Though he is giving me a bit of a Kazuma from Konosuba vibe with how he managed to figure out how to recreate items the old heroes would have talked about from Japan. It's odd to say he doesn't have nearly the same level of charisma as Kazuma give...well...it's Kazuma and he's deliberately written to be a massive scumbag.

I do like with his magic powers and awesome cape, Naofumi is basically the little muddy boy meeting a superhero, one who will save the day through cooking.

As for Kizuna . . . I handed her some of the fish we had brought in and had her cut it up. She’d finished with the poisonous fish already. Her life as a fishing fool was paying off now. She knew her way around a fish. The blood had been skillfully drained, and overall, she was a step ahead when it came to gutting and cleaning.

...You think the Hunting Tool can turn into something like the Wunder Boner

I explained pointedly, looking at Seya, Trash III, and the other MC. Trash III responded by flipping me off. I could taunt with the best of them, and I mouthed some swear words back.

I mean, one of my favorite scenes in Isekai Quartet was Naofumi and Shalltear sassing each other, so I can agree with that.

“Pollution?” Kizuna asked, looking puzzled.

“You didn’t notice that?” I replied. “Well, just watch.” She wasn’t the brightest bulb, that was for sure.

“Hmmm, I think I need to go wash up,” the rotund noble said. “I’ll be right back.” The judges proceeded to take turns visiting the washroom. Once they had all returned, it was time to eat Seya’s food.

“Huh?” Kizuna, L’Arc, and Therese were looking puzzled. The other diners around us too. I guess there was cause for a little suspicion.

...Did Naofumi give them laxatives?

“Ah!” Kizuna finally cottoned on. “So that’s why you used so many medicinal herbs in your dishes!”

“Exactly. The reason they all wanted to go to the washroom after eating was to expel the toxins. I also used other herbs to bolster the lethargic feeling that would bring on,” I explained.

He gave the judges f**king laxatives! That's hilarious! I get the actual explanation he gives is more complicated than that, relating to purifying and digestion and getting them to finally take notice of the toxins in Seya's food now that they're free from its hold, but it's funny to think that's basically what he did. He won a cooking competition through dishes that encouraged the judges to take a sh*t (or a p*ss, I suppose).

“Hey . . . you’ve been reading too many cooking manga. It’s an illusion that delicious and good things will be evaluated highly. What you need is popularity and demand,” I said. Of course, it had to taste good, but putting the emphasis on that as a bare requirement was also a problem. If you were planning on selling food in a restaurant, of course it had to taste good. Customers came because of other elements, because of popularity. If Seya’s restaurant collapsed here, it would cause trouble for all the judges. That was why I’d created an escape for them. In order to realize the future that boy wanted.

While we don't see Naofumi selling his wares so much anymore because he has far less of a need to, it is nice we do still get that cynical and merchant side of him. All that time didn't just go to waste and it's still a key part of his character.

“What, then? What do you want?” Seya asked.

“There’s someone behind all of this, correct? Someone pulling the strings. If you tell us all about that, we’ll let you go. Hey, I have an idea. Write it down on this piece of paper here. I want a record of this.” I said and passed a piece of paper to him. Seya’s expression immediately brightened.

“That’s all you want? Fine, I can—” But the rest of that sentence vanished into an awful grunt. The moment Seya tried to write a single word, his head simply crumpled in on itself. He managed a brief scream, and then his entire melon exploded. I didn’t want to traumatize my allies, so I quickly threw up a cage and blocked out the grisly scene. Then I gave a sigh.

Well...that was kind of f**ked up for Naofumi to do. Don't get me wrong, after what they had to do to get Takt to be willing to confess, this is much less horrific. But Naofumi did basically just give Seya false hope and then trick him into executing himself. I get why he did it and how dangerous the vanguards are, but it is interesting to think that while ROTSH isn't the darkest of the light novel series I've been reading, Naofumi, save for Ainz Ooal Gown, is definitely the most morally grey of the protagonists compared to Kazuma, Subaru, and Goblin Slayer.

“No matter how delicious the food is, if you eat the same thing every time, you’ll start to get sick of it. Once you get sick of it, you won’t overeat simply because you won’t want to. I’ve been applying that concept to my food,”

That is better than what I was thinking with Naofumi getting too into the game mechanics. And boy do I feel for his friends. It's the same thing that killed me off of soda for a few years. Obviously it's worse to starve than be overstuffed but it's still not a pleasant experience.

We were talking about the primary reason why Kizuna was summoned here in the first place. To put it simply, the idea was to revive the Demon Dragon.

YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

And they Tanya'd him too; reborn as an infant of the opposite gender. So does that make Kizuna or Naofumi Being X?

“Seriously . . . it brings dragon tears to my dragon eyes to see you, the great Shield Hero who defeated me, now reduced to this.” The Demon Dragon placed her front paws against her head and muttered sadly to herself.

“I hope you aren’t looking for sympathy,” I said harshly.

“Just think about it for a moment. The same bunch who shouted about defeating me and saving the world are now back, having screwed everything up, relying on me—their sworn enemy—to save them! Take a look around. Does this world look like it’s at peace to you? Well?” the dragon said, really coming for me now. What was worse, I didn’t really have a reply. This world was still plagued by humans fighting each other and had been ravaged by the vanguards of the waves. Everything the dragon had said so far had been so on the money that Kizuna and Glass probably didn’t have any response either. “Can you see how this might feel like something from your own past? Having been chased as a criminal, and then having to clean up after those very weaklings who were chasing you after they had been beaten down by the waves and people from another world?” That punch really landed hard. I wanted to call it a low blow, but she was basically providing a stunningly succinct summary of my life in these other worlds.

Seriously though, after Kyo, Takt, and the various other vanguards, it is so refreshing to have a villain who speaks with some dignity and can actually make a decent point or two, rather than "I'm strong so I can do whatever I want! Losers!" In my vol. 16 random thoughts I compared Takt to All For One from My Hero Academia and I still feel the same way. The two are not that much different goal-wise. They wanted the world and had the power to make it theirs, thus their actions. It is an immature goal when you think about it but AFO did not act anywhere near as immature as Takt and it made him feel so much more intimating. He would sometimes mock his enemy but when he did they were deep cuts that he knew would get under the skin of someone he truly hated, like All Might, rather than just throwing out insults and acting like a brat. And the Demon Dragon is the same (the High Priest too, now that I remember him, even if I don't talk about him as much). I liked Glass as an antagonist because she was intimidating, spoke only as much as she needed to, and was very powerful compared to the protagonists at that time, getting Naofumi to fear facing her again and giving her weight to the story and for the audience. Finding out later her motivations gave her some depth and added grey to the situation. The Demon Dragon is not nearly as sympathetic, but he still works for a lot of the reasons she did. There's presence to him, er, her. It's not a brat who needs to be knocked off their high horse but a genuine threat.

And being able to work with the heroes weirdly makes that even better. The Demon Dragon calls a 100 year truce, not because she's on the side of good, but because she wants there to still be a world around for her to take over. She's completely open about her goal, which ironically makes it easier to trust her.

“That should do for now,” the dragon said. “Hmmm, and this is a female body. Excellent. Shield Hero, under the condition that you will ultimately mate with me, I shall provide even greater cooperation.” So that was how long it took for things to take a crazy turn.

Still a little weird that she wants to f**k Naofumi though. And when the anime gets to this part there is almost definitely going to be a fanfic or doujin. Actually, now that I think about it, there are going to be creators getting some mileage out of when the Demon Dragon tried to take Naofumi over earlier in the series.

“Can’t you make do with Kizuna? She’s one of the four holies from this world. You’ll just have to overcome the gender barrier,” I said.

“Why me?!” Kizuna exclaimed.

“What are you planning on doing to Kizuna?” Now Glass turned a hostile gaze on me too.

Ahh, Naofumi's such a d*ck, I love it. Also, now that's two rivals in one book for Glass. She's almost caught up with Raphtalia.

It would have suited us better if the enemy was a bunch of morons. It was annoying that life never worked out quite so easily. We had no idea how bad it was going to get with the waves, so we had to plan our moves carefully and move to prevent this “fusion of the worlds,” whatever that meant.

Wouldn't that be a heck of a comeback to my bitching about the villains? The ones behind the vanguards have been sending out their idiots first, the ones arrogant and drunk off their power, to soften up the heroes first and cause a bunch of damage but that they know will ultimately just get killed. Takt and the others getting offered up as sacrificial lambs basically because those like S'yne's sister don't like them either.

“I’m starting to feel sorry for Naofumi,” Kizuna agreed.

“He probably thinks you two are in the ‘harem,’” I told them.

“I really don’t like that,” Glass responded. “No, I don’t. I don’t like that at all.” I wasn’t sure why she said it three times, but I didn’t like it either. Just for the record.

“Naofumi is a friend and a comrade, but we’re not like that!” Kizuna retorted. I wondered if she really understood the situation. She was the type who needed things to be said directly to her face.

“A shame we don’t have Fohl here. Even L’Arc would have worked,” I said. Just a few guys mixed in might have broken the group up a bit and prevented it from looking like a harem.

“Naofumi . . . even if we did have some guys, it would probably just give them some different ideas. Like . . . boys love?” Kizuna said. It sounded like, whatever the composition of the party, they would presume a lewd relationship with me at the center.

You know, you never hear about this kind of thing with Ren and Itsuki. Motoyasu went out of his way to have a harem and he still doesn't get it thrown at him as much as Naofumi does. Maybe it's one of those "He protest too much" kind of mindsets, where the more Naofumi denies it the more people think it's true.

“You got lucky. If a wave had occurred with the world of our illustrious leader, we were planning on shattering you. That’s the problem with this system; that’s the only way to get the reward for destroying a world,” the sister explained. I’d heard this talk about rewards for destroying worlds before, I vaguely recalled. I had no idea where that reward came from.

So there's a third world mixed up in all this. Obviously there already was the implication of multiple universes with S'yne and such but now there's a big spotlight on somewhere besides Raphtalia and Kizuna's worlds, where the big bad supposedly lives.

“That’s pretty much what I was expecting. Shield Hero, let me tell you something interesting,” the Demon Dragon began. Then she looked at the Artificial Behemoth’s chest again. “That part there houses a corrupted holy weapon from this world, which has artificially turned the monster into one of the four holy heroes and has allowed it all the power-up methods. It’s basically the monster version of a holy hero.”

I'm somewhat suspecting it's the Blunt Force Holy Weapon, given how easily that beast is smashing through barriers.

The soul that Raphtalia had pulled from the vanguard of the waves was not much like the body it had come from. Instead, it was a gloomy, Japanese-looking guy who was probably in his thirties.

...

“The vanguards of the waves are people who have been reborn or transferred over here after being selected by the one who assumes the name of God. They are given all sorts of abilities, such as the power to steal holy weapons or seven star weapons. They come into these worlds and start causing chaos,” I explained.

“Reborn? You mean like having spare bodies, like Kyo?” Raphtalia asked.

“No, something else. Just their souls were led to this world from Japan, and then they were reborn here as someone from this world. With their memories of the past,” I said. For example, they are people who died in unfortunate accidents—people like Ren, Itsuki, and Motoyasu. This “god” would whisper to them that they had died an untimely death and offer to reincarnate them in any world they liked. They were already dead and so had no reason to reject such an offer. If they did, the “god” probably claimed to be taken with their resolve and promised to give them additional cheat powers, basically forcing them to accept. In some cases, maybe they were just forced to be reborn, no matter what they felt. I’d read books like that, loads of them. Now that they knew being summoned to another world was actually a thing, why not getting reborn or transferred over?

So I was right about Takt being some OC f**kboy! They're all OCs! They're people from Japan who died and now are getting to live out their sh*tty power fantasy fanfiction as their equally sh*tty original character! As a source of useful but disposable minions, that's actually kind of brilliant. We saw how bad Motoyasu, Ren, and Itsuki had been at the beginning (with Naofumi himself potentially on that path as well before he was betrayed) and they were chosen by weapons that actually have the world's best interest at heart. Take those same people and have a malevolent entity constantly feeding their egos and pushing them to do terrible things because "it's their right to do so" and "they're the real heroes" and you've got an near endless source of wrenches to throw into the works of those trying to stop you.

Of course, now I just have this image in my head that the World Eater is Aqua from Konosuba. Which would actually be kind of amazing, not gonna lie. A godly being reincarnating otakus from Japan into a new fantasy-based world for a singular purpose and giving them special powers and tools in exchange.

“What if . . . and just hear me out . . . what if this one who assumes the name of a god is somehow responsible for my game knowledge?” Itsuki quietly suggested. That sounded possible to me now. Even if being summoned was the correct process, having some prior knowledge would change your actions once you arrived.

Before, when the Shield Spirit had explained to Naofumi that he was a first pick choice and the other three heroes were their weapons' third picks, I'd theorized as to why and how the final selection ended up. Assuming the weapons were telling the truth about being able to grant any wish once the waves were over, it could be assumed they have some power over reality even in the four's home universe. So I'd theorized the weapons set up a window to snag their picks, with the shield getting Naofumi and the other weapons, by sheer unfortunance, had their picks keep missing the window and thus they became more desperate, thus why their third picks had to die in order to reincarnate because the weapons couldn't leave things to chance anymore.

Now, with the new speculation and info, we can assume the World Eater has some influence over other universes too, including the heroes' original ones. So two new theories come to mind.

The first, and one I find most likely, is that the World Eater is causing video games that are similar to the worlds impacted by the waves to appear in the original worlds of the heroes. In theory, the butterfly effect could cause a chain of events that'd lead to such games existing, so it's not like the World Eater is just dropping them into each reality. It would just need to nudge things in the right direction. If video game knowledge is actually detrimental to the heroes, then that leaves less choices for the Holy Weapons (at least in regards to what their ideal candidates would be) and opens up more choices for the World Eater, since it wants arrogant and know-it-alls like that for vanguards.

The second, which could still work with the first, is that the World Eater is aware of humans the Holy Weapons have their eyes on and is actively sabotaging them. A weapon has a first choice, so the World Eater throws the game or other things in their path to turn them into a less desirable option, possibly even vanguard material.

After all my comments about the recent antagonists, S'yne's sister is starting to grow on me. She's filling a similar role as Witch; manipulating and using people before ultimately tossing them aside. But like the Demon Dragon and High Priest, there is more of an air of dignity about her than with Witch. With the exception of her sister, she's not really talking down and belittling anyone to try and promote her own strength. Like Glass she feels like someone who is genuinely powerful and doesn't need to prove it. How she's using the enemies of the week is curious and perhaps even a little scary because it does feel like she's testing and experimenting and these losses are not really a loss for her. And there's the added mystery Sadeena threw in over what she really wants. Whether bad guy with a bigger agenda or a secret good guy, she's more enjoyable to read about, as opposed to the vanguards where the biggest enjoyment they offer is watching them get taken down, and even that's not much with all the whining and tantrums they have after they're beaten. She's different from Witch and Kyo. She's not completely high off her own power and doesn't refuse to recognize her enemies' strength. Her casually teleporting away for a bit when she realized the battle was turning in the heroes' favor gave a ton to her character.

I'm just looking forward to when she gets a name other than S'yne's sister or Moron Woman. I appreciate Naofumi's completely lack of caring for learning the names of people who don't deserve it, but if she's going to be a serious antagonist or secret ally, a name would help.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/shieldbro/comments/kdwai7/first_time_read_through_light_novel_vol_18_random/

#rising of the shield hero #random thoughts #reddit repost

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heyyylittlemo · 4 years ago

Text

Ask game

1. Where did you hide the body??

Me: *pause* No, where did you hide the body—

*police stare at me with disbelief*

Me: there’s no—there’s not a single body here—well stop looking at me like that, you’re the cop! You should know! Why are you asking me for! Body? Whaaaaaat. Ahaha.

*cops shake head*

*whispers to my friend* Guys I think I pulled that one off

Police: you know we can hear everything you’re saying

me: 👁👄👁

2. Favorite rock? The 1975. Dominic Fike. Arctic Monkeys. Bad Suns. The killers. Pale Waves. Etc. That good good shit 👌

3. Most aesthetic season? Fall. Love them orange colors. The leaves falling. Though spring is also neat if you have a bunch of flowers bloomin in shit and winter is only aesthetic when it’s snowing. Boring ass summer tho just be heating me up.

4. When texting do u shorten words or spell out? I used to write stuff out all the time mostly but now it’s like half and half bcuz its just faster and nobody got time for it 🤣🤣

5. Vintage stuff? Hell yeah, but maybe not anything too expensive since some old stuff IS hyper expensive.

6. Colors that pop or blend? Not sure I understand what u mean abt them blending ahaha u mean like when they’re so similar to another?? Well I think it’s nice but honestly I prefer a pop and a bang, y’Know?

- At this moment I realized I was answering the last few questions from a completely different ask and felt like a dumbass 😂 anyways the actual number we’re on is three so imma just kickback

3. Worst dream u have ever had? I had sleep paralysis but was imbetween that and a lucid dream. At first I was paralyzed and could see my bed but my eyes felt closed and open at the same time?? A giant dark demon looking dog had towered over me and began to tear at my neck. It looked and felt very real I started to try to scream and it felt like a scream was coming out but no sound exited. Then I went into a lucid dream where I was being chased by this dog and running for my life I was running by and nobody could save me nobody in the dream when it caught up to me I was back in my bed and it was trying to eat me again. I was so terrified I couldn’t sleep for a whole week.

4. Lyric that comes to your mind? “And I don’t think I can be there. I’m paralyzed,I’m terrified of being alone. When you said I deserved what had happened.”

5. Blood make u uncomfortable? Yes, I passed out once when getting my finger pricked and a VERY small blood sample and another when dissecting a fish.

6. Even or odd numbers? Well I like the number 5,7,9, 3 so odd. (Like me 🤣🤣)

7. Something I hate that I love? Anything I’ve ever loved becuz love can be frustrating. Bruh.

8. 1st initial of someone I hate? Hmm...do I hate someone tho? Not that I can think of...

9. *Skipping down the lane* NOPE

10. Corn dogs? It’s funny cuz when I think of corn dogs my mind will always go to when we first moved to our current house because at our initial town we never had Sonic and while we were getting the house fixed up and moving stuff we use to always get Sonic since it was the closest to us most times to eat and that was a bunch of corn dogs and hotdog days 🤣 so thnk u corn dogs for ur service

11. I’m not a huge movie person so...I looked up movies from 2005 and movies Inlike from this time are Brokeback mountain bcuz it’s gay af, Shark Boy and Lava Girl damn I rewatched the shot out of it when I was younger, Narnia and the Chocolate Factory(although it low key creeped me out as a kid, and idk why).

12. Least fav music genre? Most country, most EDM, dubstep, screaming/really hard rock, some pop music, mumble raping.

13. As someone who waits on tables, my job is my least favorite restaurant experience 🤣🤣 just dealing with ppl...like ok, I’m half Hispanic right?? But I look white. Well, I work at a Mexican restaurant and so sometimes racist costumers will say shady shit just bcuz I guess they think it’s appropriate to say it to me just bcuz I’m not Hispanic in their eyes?? But it pisses me off and I feel like I can’t say anything without causing a drama which I hate and when the “costumers always right” it can be hard to budge and stand up and say “bitch wtf did u just say??” And there’s just folks who take things the wrong ways or ask too much at once or give u a hard time or just say something that sticks onto you for the whole day. One bad move can turn my whole day upside down.

14. 3 things never come near me? Cockroaches, Needles, and close mind ppl

15. Worst way to die? With regrets. Something really brutual, random, or where something just happened to go wrong (accident). Being killed by someone u love.

16. Unusual habits? Doing a Michael Jackson esque “hee-hee” after every sneeze I make, being extremely clumsy and making every task 100% more difficult, having the ability to talk as if I have an accent that comes from nowhere in particular just stupidity also I can’t speak my own language half the time 🙃getting words confused or misusing them in a sentence so I sound dumb having a very weird imagination and thoughts, I swear it like I never went to school and don’t know how the world works, plus many many more

17. Clothing style u want? I want to dress in a way that screams who I am and is a blend of both femininity and masculinity. A little vintage. Grunge. Urban maybe?? What do I know abt fashion 🤣🤣

18. Song or artist that deserves more? Dijon, hands down. I love his stuff. He’s like Frank Ocean meets light-singing beautiful lyricist with a more rock vibe?? Hidden gem. I also think Durand Jones & the Indications needs more love along with BadBadNotGood they sound like old-times but are new!! Oh, and Pale Waves is like a female The 1975 and kicks it. Bad Suns is a good alt rock band that no one seems to recognize :,D Toro y Moi too! His song with Flume “The difference “ is a banger!! Kid Cudi is my man when I want a blend of rock and rap. Also Dominic Fike,King Krule, and Roy Blair, who are all amazing!! Ok I need to stop 🛑

Duck I answered the past questions from a different post I’m sorry 😐

17. Emoji never used? There’s a bunch since I reuse the same over and over again. Lmao

18. 3 sentence Gatorade horror story? A faint quiver overtook the small freezer the Gatorade lay in; no one had come by in days, hours, weeks; when was the last time he met the lips of a thirsty body? They’d forgotten about him, as his last sips remained glued to his hollowing entrance. ‘Help, ‘it wanted to say, but it’s frozen lips could not be moved; It’d stay here, die here...just like the rest.” What am I doing with my life 🤣🙏

19. Do u know what an old bay is? A bay that is old? And old ocean? Idk!!!

20. Can u dance? Sometimes I dance when I’m alone but nothing spectral lol

21. What first comes to ur mind when u see ropes? 2 extremes. Sex and death. Hm. Ok. Moving on.

22. Make an obscure reference. “Even a bra couldn’t hold these nipples” *Holds a water gun to chest*

23. Fav balloon color? Pink or yellow.

24. If u were in court would u be innocent or guilty? Depends, what am I in court for 🤣 lmao jk honestly idk bcuz I don’t think I’d wind up in there

25. Are u hungry ? Nope

26. Unlucky number? Hm I don’t think so but I have a lucky number “123”

27. What’s “JMD”stand for? I’m guessing...Jamming my d—- 💀lol jk ahaha why am so dirt

28. Random inside joke? *chirpy squeak* I’m making a double batch of cookies

29. What sends chills up ur spine? Seeing disgust food or smell disgust or talking abt disgust things like gore

30. How many questions are in ur inbox? A pathetic zero ahaha no one want to ask me anything 😂

31. Someone real who scares u. 2 of my ex friends. One when I was 10 said disturbing things and I was kinda forced onto the friendship and everything they said make me fear for others lives...and then a different ex friend who seemed normal at 1st but became both low key psychopath cult leader type stuff and I booed out of there—-.

32. Run or hide? Uhh probably hide because I’d say even if ppl say “u can run but u can’t hide” u CAN just hide! that’s the point of hiding they not find u xD also why not combine them? Hide then run somewhere far away once I got them off the trial.

33. Last person who made u angry? A frickin beetle that flew at me and pinched me in the middle of singing in the shed xD also my autocorrect

34. What’s going on in ur head? I should probably pee soon—

35. Little thing that makes u Smile? A lot of little things bruh.

36. Are u a descisive person?

Not sure.

*pAuse *

Ok, I guess I’m not then 🤣

37. Would ppl say I’m paranoid? Hm maybe about certain things social situations, singing in front of others what ppl think abt me etc etc

38. Store least likely in? Any southern clothes shop, Abercrombie & Finch types shit, lol

39. Do I like hats fave type? Hm not wear many hats but I think they’re cool any type is cool for different ppl and their aesthetici just can’t rock a hat.

40. Bow ties or ties? Don’t really care but now want to see more bow ties

41. Who? You.

42. What? Reading this shit

43. Where? In ur ass

44. When? Now.

45. Why? Not even u know why.

46. How? We all want to know

47. Do u collect anything? Vinyl records.

48. What tome is it? Time to get a watch

49. Fav transportation? My car or walk is possible

50. Would u ever kill someone to save someone? Don’t want to think about that

51. Make a joke. Yo, it’s time to make a joke—so the other day I was working. And I was practicing my Spanish, yes? Anyone whose trying to learn anew language k n o w s that sometimes words can be so close to another u just confuse then! So apparently churros in Spanish is a desert but if u say it more harshly (it literally sounds almost the same) it makes a whole different meaning—diharrea, but like I didn’t know that so I legit just walked up to this person and asked if they would like some shit to eat. So yeah, that was great. Let’s not forget that I mixed up blood, watermelon, and sangria which is a wine. I legit once said I had mixed wine in my vines and another time watermelon 🤣

52. I’m really confused so I skip

53. Would ur dash be confiscated SFW? By dash do u mean this account? Um not 😬

54. Do I like to cuddle? Hell yeah and manhandle ppl all the time it’s my affection

55. What makes u angry? Close minded ppl or ppl who jump too fast to conclusions, strict schedules just dumb stuff that people try to force when I just want to be carefree 😭✌️

56. How many voices are in ur head? 😐

57. Do U consider urself mentally stable? 😐

58. Are u easily offended? Well U just called me mentally unstable and asked it there was voices in my head!!

59. What’s wrong with taking the backstreets? Uhm...

60. Any questions u want ppl to ask u? Nothing in particular but it’s be nice if someone care to ask me something abt me from personal question to my opinions on shit to 19 days fandom related junk 😌

Woooo I’ve finished this game! Thanks to @seiji-amasawa for introducing me to this ^^

#tag game #game #ask #19 days #19days

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youthindecline · 7 years ago

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New comics from Small Press Expo 2017

It’s been a while since I did one of these, but wanted to get back into the habit of sharing my favorite books and new discoveries at cons. As most of you know, Youth in Decline took a hiatus for a lot of 2017 to welcome our daughter into the world. SPX is a fitting “first show back” as the setting and vibe feels like a high school reunion, packed full of our favorite cartoonists, old friends, and longtime readers. Here is me doing brief, quick, hot(?) takes on most of the new books I grabbed at the show.

Sex Fantasy by Sophia Foster-Dimino. Sophia’s one of the best contemporary cartoonists working, and this chunky tome collects her multi-year series of mins into one thoughtful book. You can see Sophia working out cartooning decisions over the course of each book, with dialogue / camera / perspective experiments everywhere. The final two chapters haven’t been seen before. Just an incredible, amazing book from Koyama Press.

New things from my alltime favorite cartoonist (hands down), Michael DeForge. A new mini called Loose in his series of sketchbooks, and a massive, oversized new story from Koyama Press called Placeholders. It’s hard to even talk about Michael’s work, it’s so good. Michael is an incredible writer, and the drawings (where, let’s be real, he can basically draw any & everything) exist to support the writing. Special shoutout to the early YD logo sketch that made it into Placeholders as an evil startup / corporation, haha

Two fantastic minis from my SPX tablemate, the incredible Lauren Weinstein. Both of these comics, Normel Person and Perfect Maine Vacation, were nominated for Ignatz Awards and show the incredible and personal power of Lauren’s cartooning. Perfect Maine Vacation is gutwrenching (in a sweet way that kills me as a new parent) and Normel Person is a hilarious ongoing journal of life in Trump’s Amerika. Did you hear that Lauren is doing a new comic for Youth in Decline for Frontier next year? Dude, I know!!!!! (so beyond excited).

Ethan Rilly released the 5th issue of his fantastic series Pope Hats. Ethan’s sense of his own characters and the knack for small moments and relatable, too real dialogue between friends really shines here. Pope Hats is such a dense and well-appointed serial drama, I’m a huge fan.

Everywhere Disappeared by Patrick Kyle. Patrick’s new collection of short stories from Koyama Press. A lot of my favorites from the last few years made it into the book. Patrick mixes familiar shapes with hyper-present narration that does this weird trick on your brain and unfolds weird contemporary paranoias and ennui. Patrick’s short comics are almost like little polemics, or allegories... upsetting but also hilarious.

I’m Not Here by GG. Another debut from Koyama Press -- Annie had an unparalleled and unprecedented SPX lineup, I’ve never really seen anything ever before at a show, the r a w p o w e r of her team. GG debuts her first long-form narrative, a quiet, slow burn of a story about identity and navigating the transition from un-responsible young adult to the burden of your own parents’ failings (health, decision-making, etc). Very restrained, withholding, and poetic.

Language Barrier by Hannah K. Lee. I LOVE THE SHAPE OF THIS BOOK. Both like, literally its formal size (small!) and the flow and design of the book. Included in one tome are Hannah’s incredible type experiments, her comics, her illustrations, and her personal stories. This feels like a true monograph, showing me the many sides and numerous formats of expression from an incredible artist. I loved this book.

Baby Let’s Cruise and We’re Together Now by Jasjyot Singh Hans. I’ve been a fan of Jasjyot’s stuff for a while and following his work on Instagram -- these two minis really brought together a lot of interssting threads. Baby Let’s Cruise is the size & form of an iPhone 7 Plus, and captures the furtive feeling of messaging with someone you don’t know, and navigating the power dynamic anxiously. We’re Together Now uses an arch-metaphor to capture the earnest passion & paranoiac worry of a long distance relationship. I’m really excited about what Jasjyot is doing (and will do next).

The Look Book by Jeremy Sorese. A colorful, exploding collection of imagined (and observed) fashion and bodies and cute men. Jeremy depicts people with a weighty, playful, totally wild eye. I stared at each drawing for 5 minutes, digging into all the little details. Really loving the illustration and play Jeremy is doing between his longer works, so exciting to daydream about these outfits.

Starfighter Vol. 4 by HamletMachine!~ 100% NOT s FOR w, the latest volume of my friend HM’s ongoing space sex opera is now out. I absolutely love Hamlet’s depictions of bodies, of tension between people -- she has an incredible skill for composition and the gnarly beautiful dance of bodies interacting. HM has cultivated an incredible fanbase stayed true to her vision and worldbuilding. <3

Daises by Bjorn Daniel Miner. A short collection of comics by Bjorn, created, conceived of, and produced on Risograph as part of his residency at SVA’s Risolab. Each spread is full of wild textures and color experimentation, pushing the risograph to ends I didn’t think were really possible. Melts your eyeballs, very nice!

A Modest Upbringing by Amanda Castillo. A touching short story about families (and their pain + baggage) from an exciting young talent. Printed on Youth in Decline’s risograph this past summer as part of an internship helping us out! <3

Summer Wasting and Sunset Lover by Sunmi. Two minis -- one huge, one small -- from our friend and former intern Sunmi. Summer Wasting includes a number of observational comics, sketches & poems, and a really thoughtful book design with little asides bound directly into the body of the comic. Really exciting watching her work change and mature over the past few years, and so excited about her new press, Dandelion Wine Collective. <3

Kissing, Waves, and I Can Love You Better From Up Here by Rebecca Kirby (aka reweki). I somehow wasn’t familiar with Rebecca’s work before this SPX, but was really taken with her composition and use of color. Her panel structures and experimentation in Waves reminded me a bit of Jesse Balmer and other controlled psychedelic pieces, while the bodies in Kissing and ICLYBFUH both showed an extremely confident and fluid sense of bodies (and color). Kissing was extremely NSFW and rad, while her short musing about a lost pet made me tear up a little. Great work from a creator I’m now following closely.

Drag Race Lookbook by Sasha Velour. Okay, so I didn’t get this at Small Press Expo but it was waiting for me when I got home. A lovely and thoughtfully designed book from the one & only... Sasha Velour! Such a great recap and reliving of her incredible looks from RPDR, and the commentary at the back is the sort of thing I live for... Who doesn’t adore Sasha? I have sweet but embarrassing memories of our second-ever proper meeting hungover at MoCCA a few years back as tablemates... such a vibrant and incredible creator!!! ah

The Spectacularly Sad Surreptitious Spinster Snake Sister: Survival Spellbook by April Malig and The Untitled Queen. This was an absolutely incredible gift from April!!!! Sasha superfans will recognize this mini as featured in Velour Magazine #3. That issue smartly photographed and captured this feature as an object mini-within-a-magazine... and this is one of the rare actual copies April made just for Velour. Incredible risograph work and color composition... and it’s a little piece of comics/drag history. <3

The Veggie Team by Ginger Craghead. 9-year old cartoonist creates wild mini about the pranks and misadventures of a team of wild veggies. What more can I say? This was legit hilarious (See the 2nd panel on the right page above, hahaha).

Yes by Tom Herpich. Final book from around SPX, this is a new mini from Tom... not exactly a comic, but a short story about isolation and gratification. It was startling and lowkey, and the storybook illustrations showed Tom’s incredible sense of framing and pacing. I’m such a huge fan of Tom’s work, it’s exciting as a reader to see him working through new work in his post-Adventure Time life. Available via his Tumblr still (I think?)

#small press expo #youthindecline #youth in decline #indie comics

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level3bird · 7 years ago

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the river beneath the river

If I could include in my word count all the posts that I’ve written and then deleted before posting, I would have a George RR Martin length tome on my hands.

Even after all these years of writing on tumblr, being vulnerable still drives me nervous.

I write. I delete. I do it again. Gah! Why does it have to be so difficult?

This tumblr began as a secondary super-secret place to write posts of a particular theme that I wanted to keep distinct from the place where I wrote about the rest of my daily life. That original tumblr also contained information about myself that I wanted to keep under wraps from those who might be reading my posts here. It all got to be too much of a muchness.

Even so, I still have the same argument with myself.

Do I write about what’s currently happening in my life here where I interact with people the most even though what’s current isn’t what brought people here in the first place or do I slink over to another new blog and keep my life as compartmentalised as I sometimes wish it could be?

Shit, who knows. Maybe I do both. I don’t want this to turn into a ‘recovery’ blog, but at the same time, it’s my blog and I ought to be able to write what I want. Then, on the other hand, I probably won’t ever say what I really need to say here and should probably be saying it elsewhere if I plan on being rigorously honest.

Macht nichts. This post is going to be here, so big whoop.

For the last couple of weeks, since deciding I needed to be back in the rooms, I’ve been trying to decide which sort I needed to be in.

If you’ve ever been in a 12-step program and have more than one addiction to deal with, if you could fit into more than one program, you know what I’m talking about. Do I stick with one? Do I hit up one of each kind every week?

The rooms where I started my journey to sobriety were Cocaine Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. Cocaine and pills are not the addictions that I’m dealing with now.

Does it matter? I mean, isn’t addiction the river beneath the river and the drug of choice just the detritus floating along on the top?

Here in Australia, CA is pretty much out because coke isn’t as plentiful and cheap. In Texas, I could find a CA meeting anywhere. Of course, I could also find coke anywhere (and everywhere) as well.

That leaves AA, NA, OA, DA, CODA, and Al-Anon as the easiest meetings to find.

And even though I’ve got issues that would be a fit with CODA, OA and DA meetings, they aren’t the encompassing program that I need.

So, for me, I’ve now narrowed it down to AA and NA.

I’ve gone to various AA meetings in the last two weeks and thought I’d found a couple contenders for a home group. Alcohol has never been my drug of choice, but I felt that working the program overall, subbing out my own addictions anywhere alcohol was mentioned, would be workable. Of course, I know that many in AA would not agree with me. AA seems to focus on alcohol (obviously) and at times doesn’t take to those of us who consider ourselves addicts. My plan had been to remain respectful, to not talk about drugs, but rather couch my additions in the terminology of the program.

It wasn’t an honest approach, but fuck it, I’ve been hanging onto the knot tied at the end of my rope and I needed to do something.

I was hesitant to go back to NA meetings for other reasons. Namely, I know what kind of addict I am and I don’t want to find the guy who knows the guy who can get what I’d fall off into given half a chance and a bad day.

I figured that NA meetings would be triggering. No, I’m not delicate like that, but having spent as much time around junkies as I have, I know there is a vibe and I haven’t been sure I’ve been ready to face it. Now, both far removed and yet too familiar.

The AA meetings had been ok, but there was a bit too much god talk for me and, I don’t know, I felt like a fraud.

So, last night I went to a NA meeting. It was just what I expected it to be. And it was more.

I felt at home.

The meeting had a decent number of folk in it, mostly men, but a few women.

A circle of old recliners and Salvos sofas in a cavernous room off the back of a church. Probably a room much like hundreds of other NA meetings.

At first, I felt like the other people there were looking at me like I was lost. Heroin is a serious problem here in Melbourne and no doubt it was a drug of choice for many in the room. I’m sure I made snap judgments of everyone else the same way they made a snap judgment about me. I admit I looked around the room playing one of Mr iSay’s favourite games – Hipster or Homeless. (Yes, I know that in this case that sounds smug and fucked as.)

The thing is, however, I usually always learn something from the shadiest looking person in the room. I’ll get a truth bomb or a shot of wisdom out of the mouths of some of the most desperate looking characters that will remind me that I, too, was once just as desperate and just as far down the scale. I’ll be reminded that we all fall and we all struggle and that none of us want to be where we are as addicts.

I shared last night, which is something I haven’t done at an AA meeting here, and I didn’t die of fright or get the vapours from fear of sounding stupid.

I was the older lady who looked well-enough put together and out of place, but when I opened my mouth and talked about my relapse and my return to the rooms, noticed that several others were nodding along with me.

There is a difference in the way that NA’ers and AA’ers think about this Higher Power/God business. There are differences in that, from what I’ve seen, AA focuses on being powerless over a substance and NA focuses on being powerless over the addiction.

And, as a total stereotypical statement, I’ve found that NA’ers are your rough as guts folk who don’t really tolerate the bullshit, and who, at the other end of the spectrum, tend to be the most self-deprecating, funny people around. They’ve seen hell up close and aren’t afraid to report back what the climb out was really like.

No doubt, I’m totally biased.

I remember like it was yesterday sitting in a NA meeting back in Texas where someone shared that they didn’t understand why people thought junkies were stupid. He said, “Look, just we’re because a bunch of addicts doesn’t mean we should put ourselves down. We can figure out how to smoke meth out of an orange. That’s fuckin’ intelligence at work. We are resourceful engineering motherfuckers!”

Amen, brother, amen. I get it. They get it.

So, for me, NA is where I need to be. We can rag on the idea of God while genuinely figuring out that our Higher Power isn’t us.

We can share about what we had, what we lost, all that we’ve found, what we’ve worked hard for, how we’ve persevered and how we’ve also failed ourselves and others.

It doesn’t matter if it is the coke or the heroin or the meth or the crack or the sleeping tablets or the booze or the food or the gambling or the benzos or the sex or a combination of one or more of the above.

We’re addicts and the river beneath the flotsam and jetsam is where our problem lies.

I guess that’s all I’ve got for now.

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mosmindmanifested · 5 years ago

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Shame! And it's Obvious Antitdote

I remember being in the seventh grade and having this òne unorthodox teacher. His style of teaching was one that placed more importance on interactive forms of learning as opposed to standerdized testing. His expression was very liberal; it was not uncommon for him to express himself with the occasional f-bomb or being his sentences with "duuuude". He played basketball after class with his students, had a fascination with technology, and a strong interest in the arts. All the students loved him. His teaching style made the classroom feel more like a community than a government learning facility. However, he had one practice that is etched into my memory to this day. He did not accept late assignments. When it was tome to hand in assignments he developed a ritual in which students would be called, one by one, in alphabetical order, to leave their seats and present him with their finished assignments. If you were one of the unlucky few who failed to come up with a finished project, he would make a public display of your inadequecy. You were to walk to the back of the classroom, past all of your peers, and pick up a scrap piece of paper. You were then to present him with that piece of paper which he would immediate mark, writing a large a distinguishable "0%". This would be the mark you would recieve on your assignment, which you would then take to your respective seat. The tension in the room was palpable everytime someone had not presented an assignment on time; you could vicariously experience the anguish of the student who missed the due date. This public shaming ritually struck fear into the hearts of our class, and whether we had anything worthwhile to present or not, we would NEVER hand in anything late. Shame is a powerful tool for behaviour modification. Advertisers, religious leaders, public school educators, and anyone with a vested interest in controlling your behaviour will always be willing to use this tool to socially engineer you. How often do we not speak our minds due to the percieved shame associated with doing so. How many of our decisions are subconsciously controlles by this fear inducing phenomena. Your employer presents you with a request that you deem unreasonable. You feel subtle resentment and stress fill the atmosphere. You walk out of the meeting and discuss with your co-workers how demanding the boss could be at times; you don't speak up. You see a woman you really feel like talking to. She is reading a book that has had a profound impact on your life, and you would love to hear her take on it. You are in a crowded subway cart. If you were to speak up now, everyone in the cart would be able to hear your conversation. What if she isn't interested in talking to you? You just finished at the gym and look a bit disheveled. You don't speak up. We have been conditioned at a young age to appeal to authority. To not speak up for ourselves and seek external resources to solve our problems for us. Earlier today I was confronted by a manager at a cafe I frequent. After going here for a number of years this must be the first full-length conversation we have engaged with. She begins the conversation: "Some of our partners are being made to feel uncomfortable by how you are speaking to them". What? Keep in mind the median age of the workers at this establishment is around 22. I was astonished. I thought I was cool with most of the people working there. No one EVER even politely mentioned any potential conflict between I and them. If they really felt uncomfortable speaking with me, why wouldn't they say so? As grown adults, as human beings with autonomy and agency, why did they not voice their frustrations with me? Fear of shame. They were more comfortable going through an intermediary, because voicing their opinion would place them in a position where they would have to live with the consequences of what they said. A habitual appealing to authority formed from years of telling the teacher or running to their mothers when they were met with conflict. Shame paralyzes you. As long as you harbour shame, you will never have the confidence to express yourself fully. You will doubt your own ideas, you won't have the faith to carry through with your plans, and you will stiffen your creative energies. How do you combat this demon? The opposite of shame is vulnerability. Vulnerability stares insecurity in the face and says, " I accept you". Vulnerability acts in the face of uncertainty. She might not feel the same way but I will tell her how I feel about her... They might not vibe with this album I've been working on, but I will release it nonetheless.. This joke might not land but.. Vulnerability is the facilitator for authentic connection. When someone is honest of their limitations and short-comings it humanizes them. We can resonate with their downfalls and struggles, we see ourselves in them. The hero confronts the unknow whether he is ready or not, and lives with the consequences. Vulnerability reinterprets failure as temporary defeat. When we are vulnerable we are not so self concerned. We willingly expose ourselves to potential criticisms and are therefore unaffected by them. You cannot blackmail a man who has nothing to hide. You cannot shame the shameless. The more vulnerable we become the closer we move towards authenticity. What is the ego other than layers of armour protecting a fragile Self? We can accept ourselves or we can hide from ourselves. Vulnerability is a direct consequences of the former. When we are comfortable in our own skin we are unburdened by the shackles of our own mind. We do not have to carry the burdens of society, of our family, of all the entities placing expectations and trying to get you to conform to a specific way of being. We become a child again. The child lives fearlessly. The child is not worried about how others percieve the manner in which he plays. The child has no Self concept. The child is an unending flow state, expressing himself freely and fully. The child is a sense of authentic joy, an inner freedom, a "yes" to life and all it has to offer us. Formless and unbounded, always growing, filled with potential. Vulnerability gives you the freedom to create. Vulnerability gives you the ability to connect. Vulnerability gives life. Namaste

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