#you end up so deeply alone; adrift; the only guys who fuck with you are out of nostalgia and pity respectively

[deadciv]

so many of the cyberpunk endings are fundamentally cynical or deeply caveated and alloyed in some way, but the Tower ending…christ. think playing it too late last night legitimately gave me bad dreams

[piratefalls]

a leverage quinn/eliot thing i'll never write that’s been sitting in my drafts for a literal year so i'm just yeeting it out into the void

okay so who the hell knows if this is in any way an original thought but i think it’s sort of accepted by fandom that quinn and eliot knew each other long before they fight in the first david job. so let’s run with that. maybe when they met eliot was fresh out of the service and trying to figure out what he was going to do with his life. private security would be the obvious choice, but he still needs the adrenaline, and a break from people giving him orders. so he becomes an independent contractor, a retrieval specialist, and on a job he runs into mr. quinn. same place, same time, but different targets, and they hit it off while digging through an old storage space. and they just keep running into each other, time and time again, and eliot gains a reputation for being the best while quinn is happy to remain in the shadows. being lesser known has its own set of benefits.

and then they hang out after a heist, and things happen, and they find themselves becoming more than friends. this goes on for the next year, maybe two, and then...then they work a job together. something they’ve never done before, for some reason. and it feels off from the beginning, but it's quinn, and eliot trusts him more than anyone in the world, so he pushes those concerns aside until he can’t. the job goes so wrong so fast, and eliot finds himself taken hostage, waking up in an old warehouse, bruised and bloody and so tired. all he has to do is survive, because quinn is coming, he just has to hang on until quinn finds him. quinn will always find him. and then quinn does find him, and he looks so guilty, so fucking sad, and it hits eliot like a kick to the stomach that he’s been sold out. eliot gets free somehow and they fight their way out, and at the end of it all, a trail of bodies behind them, they stand there and look at each other. quinn is devastated, trying to find the words, and eliot just... shakes his head and walks away. he never hears quinn quiet plea for him to wait.

in the interim eliot finds his way to moreau, the awful things he does to forget, never telling anyone why he will only work alone. after a while he realizes he either needs to get out or lose himself completely, so he gets out, spends some time with toby learning to cook, and eventually goes back to working solo. then he’s hired to do a job in LA, a one and done with a team of thieves, and he does it. what a massive miscalculation on his part, because he does not want to like these people. liking people means wanting to be around them, giving them power over you even if you don’t mean to, and he just won’t do that again. but he does. and he keeps coming back, and despite the fact that hardison never shuts up, and parker loves jumping off buildings in a way that makes him deeply concerned, and nate is a ticking time bomb, and sophie is as warm as she is a terrifyingly good liar, he finds himself building a home there, working with these four people, beating up bad guys because he's helping people.

and then sophie cons the team, and the betrayal hits twice as hard this time. but before he even finds that out, he sees a face he’s done his level best to never see again. he lets quinn beat him up a bit, lets him think he’s winning, because eliot knows quinn has always been one thing above everything else, and that’s cocky. and when eliot grunts “now that rib’s broken,” he doesn't tack on like my fucking heart the way he wants to. it’s been years, and it wouldn’t have the impact he wants it to. and then the team separates and he’s never felt so adrift in his life.

in the immediate aftermath, quinn tries to reach out, and eliot keeps changing numbers, because really quinn should have gotten the fucking hint after the first five unanswered calls. eventually eliot shoots him a text, saying that quinn needed to leave him alone, and that he would reach out when he wanted to. the calls stop after that.

three years later, eliot has to go hunting for quinn because he needs a favor. and all quinn wants in return (besides the money, of course) is for eliot to just let him explain. they can go back to not talking, but he wants eliot to know the truth.

and when the job is over, when dubenich and latimer have been dealt with and the bat cave has been deserted, quinn tells him what really happened that night. how eliot wound up in that warehouse, why the job went sideways. [there’s some kind of bribery/secret that he was just desperate enough to keep quiet that he’d sell eliot out] and the price was that quinn had to turn eliot over. he tried, tried so hard to think of a way to get them all out of it alive, and they were almost home free and everything went so wrong so fast and he couldn’t think fast enough. and then eliot walked away never knowing that had the right amount of pressure not been applied to the exact right spot, quinn never would have put eliot within 100 miles of that job because even though they never said it in so many words, quinn had loved him and he knows eliot loved him too.

and so eliot takes a few days to think while everyone else scatters to parts unknown but this time with the full understanding that they’ll all eventually be reunited. eliot thinks, and thinks, and eventually texts quinn and invites him out. they can start with a beer.

[themissingmarvel]

Kind Regards, Detective [Part 8]

(I am going to prompt this with first, an apology for how long it’s been. I blame Animal Crossing as well as the apocalypse. That said, and this is a TW/CW there is a major death. So be advised.)

CATCH UP: [Part 1] // [Part 2] // [Drabble] // [Part 3] // [Part 4] // [Drabble 2] // [Part 5] // [Part 6] // [Part 7]

Pairing: Detective Loki x fbi!Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: Language, descriptions of violence, major character death

They didn’t fall asleep right away. Which made sense on many levels. She was still shaken and he was still quite taken with the woman in his arms, who he had dreamed of namelessly for so long. She was already a dream. But that was dangerous, and he knew it.

She told him stories of training in the bureau, and what she had encountered. Being a woman and an agent was never easy. He told her stories about when he started off as a beat cop and his first time arresting someone back when he worked in Philadelphia. He talked about having seen so much and knowing what he did, he wanted to bring his work to an area that didn’t always get attention. That needed good cops. Conyers had been that place.

Her words were shaky when she discussed the loss of her sister, and that was what the CD had been in reference to. David had lost so much in his life so young he supposed he didn’t really understand that kind of pain the way he wanted to. He hadn’t ever loved something like that before. He had felt adrift, a ship without an anchor. Love was a memory to him and he dreamed of it sometimes so hard he could taste it. 

When they did finally fall asleep, David had buried himself against her and they had managed to look disgustingly adorable in a way neither would ever admit to, even in a court of law. Y/N had prided herself on her ability to keep work separate. It helped that at least once a month she’d spend a couple days out of town. Sometimes longer. Meant she had good excuses for staying settled. David had no such excuse save for his own emotional damage as a child and teen. 

Her phone was what stirred her from sleep, sleep that rarely came so deeply. The phone was by her bed, the issued FBI one she was sure was being tracked but didn’t much care. Breaking away from the warm embrace of the man who had no business being as wonderful as he was, she fumbled for it before answering, not registering the emergency ring, “Agent Y/L/N. Yes, that’s what I said. Wait, what?” 

Loki had stirred when she woke, though more so as he watched her suddenly sit up, pushing back her hair that had become quite a mess. He was almost hurt he didn’t get a chance to see her as she woke. A soft waking. Not this.

Already she was on her feet, “No. That’s incorrect. I’m still in New York, the drive was a nightmare so I decided to stay at a hotel and- it doesn’t matter. Check my phone records, I never-!”

She was silent, David sitting up as he watched her, a frantic look suddenly dissipating from her delicate features, her skin pale, eyes wide, looking like a deer in headlights. So far he had found that answering the phone was not ending well for either of them.

He was adjusting his own hair, standing and going for his shirt and belt, watching as she pulled the phone away to look at the screen. 

By now she had adjusted to this sort of new normal. Henry Best was not a shy man and she suspected that for a long time he had been killing people. For whatever reason, it had escalated the past few months and she was certain when they looked at patterns statewide, they would find a broader, less direct pattern. No roses, but perhaps notes. Ones discarded. A disappearance and a body found days or weeks later would be easily dismissed by an overworked department. 

Closing her eyes tightly, she took a breath before lifting the phone back to her ear, “When was he found? Yeah, check the hotel records I don’t give a fuck. You think I seriously killed my own coworker?! Tell Kendrick to call me himself, then!” She pulled the phone back and hung it up.

It was six in the morning, and she supposed the few hours of sleep they had gotten was a blessing, but one she would regret. She would speak at the funeral later and try not to loudly blame herself, but it would be hard not to. She hadn’t pulled the trigger but she had left a loaded gun on the table just the same. She had let David in and in turn let other parts of herself go.

David was quiet before he spoke, “What happened?”

What a stupid question. It was met by a look of anger he didn’t recognize immediately but knew as rage. It was a powerful kind of rage that clouded judgment and made people do stupid things. He hoped it was the kind of rage Y/N could reign in and use as fuel but he wasn’t sure. He didn’t know enough. He knew fragments and pieces and he hoped she could keep herself together. Keller Dover had let that rage nearly destroy him and almost got himself killed. It was personal.

“Adrian is dead. They found his body in the parking lot of an empty office building, two shots to the chest. They found texts on his phone from me, though we both know it wasn’t. It was ‘me’, asking to meet him with important information I was ‘too scared’ to speak over the phone. Adrian died alone, bleeding to death in a parking lot because of me.” 

Her face was stoic, eyes cold and echoing of something akin to heartbreak. She didn’t love Adrian. Not really. But she liked him. She liked how he flirted and made her feel cute, how he called her ‘ladybug’ and would grin even through the phone. Even when he was such a fucking asshole, blowing off her requests for meeting up or talking about his dates… she knew. He wasn’t a bad man, he was kind of a dick, but he sure as hell didn’t deserve to die. But she had killed him, hadn’t she? Maybe she didn’t pull the trigger but she left the gun on the table.

When her sister died, long ago, rage had taken the place of sadness and grief. She had felt anger like no other that the world would have reached out and taken her sister from her. It wasn’t fair. Life wasn’t fair. Sadness was so hard to manage but rage and anger was always so much more reasonable, in an odd way. Sadness you had to cope with but rage you could channel elsewhere. It also made you stupid as hell. 

Loki was walking to where Y/N was, reaching for her arm before she snatched it away, “Hey, this isn’t your fault, we both know-”

“But it is!” She stared at him, eyes wide and deadly cool, “It is my fault, David. I thought that this,” she gestured between the two of them, “was a good idea. And it wasn’t. Henry got my phone credentials somehow and he got to Adrian.”

David stepped back, absorbing the blow that hit him right in the chest. She hadn’t meant to hurt him, but when a wounded cat is cornered and injured it will always lash out, even at what it loves the most. She was defending herself. Somewhere he knew that, in the same way he knew he would be doing the same, were he in her position. But he allowed it to sink, instead stepping away and getting himself dressed.

He was cautious as he watched her solemnly get dressed, do her hair as best she could before silently stepping into the bathroom to use the crappy-but-acceptable toothbrush and toothpaste provided. Her brain was trying to process what just happened, but so was David’s. He was reeling from the pain of being told he was a mistake, and because he knew that she didn’t mean it. He hoped she didn’t. He felt responsible as well, that he had distracted her from the case. Perhaps, he thought, it might give him clarity to have the step back that she didn’t. 

If Henry had reached out to Adrian, it was because he knew a few things. First, he knew that Adrian provided Y/N with information frequently enough that he had access to quite a bit of data. He probably knew more than he even realized he knew, and he was a risk. Also, Henry knew that Adrian trusted Y/N completely. Enough that he’d simply drive in the middle of the night to meet up with her over a simple text. But doesn’t the FBI train better?

Suddenly it was David working like a profiler, and perhaps it was the brain of the woman he had slept next to that was rubbing off on him. 

It didn’t make sense that Adrian would just trust a text message from Y/N, did it? 

Looking down at his own phone, he scanned through a few missed calls and voicemails, a text or two from guys at the precinct. Opening his work mail, he noted a few important forensic items and tabbed them for later. One that stood out was the email that the PAM shots had come in.

When Y/N came out she was silent, her words feeling like pain, should she utter them. Instead, she grabbed her things, hardly looking at David as she felt the weight of the boulder she had decided to shoulder pressing down on her before breathing out the words, “Let’s go.”

___

The drive itself hadn’t taken long, all things considered. Y/N had insisted she drive her own car, the reliable car that felt reliably foreign, making her feel like an alien in a world she was supposed to be part of. Adrian didn’t deserve to die. Arguably, most folks didn’t, really. He was a good guy, though. He did the stuff you were supposed to do. Being an asshole wasn’t a reason to off someone and yet Henry (and she was sure it was Henry) had chosen him specifically. Whether or not it was because he ‘knew’ something, it was calculated. Gunshots, however, meant this was not as planned as he had wanted it to be. Something had been off. Emotions had been involved. This had been a crime of passion and not a single note was left behind. Not a single rose.

He wasn’t the pattern, though. So it made sense.

Pulling up to the precinct, she got out and made her way to the door, aware of Detective Loki only steps behind her, protective in a way he didn’t like, even for himself. Henry was bold, however. Further forensics on the phone had shown Y/N’s phone had been cloned, of course. She supposed handing the man her jacket in his office where he had defense level technology hadn’t been her smartest move. 

She had to play chess and make him think she was still playing checkers.

“Agent? This was delivered about an hour ago, one of the DC Agents dropped it himself. Credentials checked out. It’s for you.” A young man was behind the precinct desk, looking a little tired but otherwise unbothered, handing her a small package. She was curious, though not concerned this time, able to spot the small sticker on the bottom left of a glittering ladybug. 

Taking the box she glanced at David and nodded her head towards the long hallway that led towards the interrogation rooms. She was silent, moving like a whisper over the ugly rug in the dingy department that desperately needed an upgrade. Opening the door to the other side of the one-way mirror, she removed her jacket and her phone, David following suit. It was eerie, how silent she was, even her movements noiseless as she fiddled with the microphone settings and turned off all recording devices. She went so far as to power them off entirely, making the room dark. 

Shutting the door, the young woman gently opened the box and withdrew a sleek, silver Samsung Galaxy, definitely not government issue. Squinting, she pressed the power button and turned it on, the phone booting up with no problem, the background a picture of a ladybug. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes and smirk through the pain, “Subtle, as always.”

Sitting down, David took a seat by her, watching as the phone appeared to begin on its own, the woman taking the cue to prop it up and sit back, the two close by once more as they watched a video begin.

“I know. This isn’t subtle, right? I mean, if you’re watching it then it’s not supposed to be. After what Henry did, I didn’t want you getting another package and being scared again.” 

It was Adrian, his face, brown scruff over his handsome features, sharp jawline and broad shoulders visible, stunning hazel eyes that were arguably more green than hazel visible. His hair was dark brown as well, normally gelled down and styled, though a bit more tussled now. He was sitting in his apartment, what looked to be his apartment. Pictures of his family were behind him and he was sitting on his couch, beige… funny the things we choose to see.

“He texted me tonight. I mean, you did, from what police records will show, but it’s him. He’s gotta think I’m some next-level idiot, you know? He tried to get your tone down but he can’t get that icy exterior quite right,” he smirked, looking into the camera, Y/N’s eyes softened as she knew she was watching the final moments of a man’s life. You don’t turn away from something like that.

“It’s my fault… I’m sorry.” She whispered as she watched the video, her body caving in on itself as she felt herself tense.

“And before you apologize, don’t! Hey, for all I know, things turned out just fine and you’re gonna make fun of me for this video and I’ll get the credit for catching The Black Rose! I won’t let you live it down,” he smirked.

Tears burned at her eyes, holding a hand over her mouth to stop herself from speaking again, almost wounded by how eerie it was how well he knew her. It fucking hurt.

“I can’t call you on your phone because it’ll route to his. He has authority over it by now, so don’t trust it, whatever you read on it. It’s useless. I used this because I knew I could jailbreak it and install the firmware to keep him out. But yeah, this’ll be pretty useless too if he gets wind of it.

“Anyway. He wants to meet me. I figure if I can get some recordings of him in the parking lot, maybe clone his phone myself without him knowing, maybe I can get something off him for you. If not, if you’re watching this and feeling like shit… it means it’s a good thing I sent the phone. Because if you’re watching this, much like those tropes I know you hate, then I’m dead, Ladybug. And I’m sorry for that one. But it sure as hell isn’t your responsibility and you need to know I’m doing this because I chose to. You’ve always been the brave one, Y/N. I’ve watched you take hits from assholes, get threatened, travel across the country, work yourself through hell on earth… you’re brave. You’re good at your job. And you always deserved better than me. Doesn’t make much sense to tell you I always loved you, so I won’t. But I’m doing this not for you, but because of you. Catch the asshole.”

The video closed, another taking its place, this one far grainier and from within a spot on the dash of Adrian’s car. It was a shitty camera, one that would be found, quite obviously, and that was broadcasting a recording. Later they’d find out not even Henry could trace the broadcast, but Y/N knew. David knew. Both knew as they sat in the dark interview room in the Conyers precinct.

The audio was muffled and quiet, which made sense. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway. But it showed Adrian getting out of the car, jacket on, walking over with his hands up. He was speaking, softly, and staying still as another man entered view.

Henry.

He had his hands in his pockets, though he was visible. His head. Face. Hair. Unmistakably Henry Best. It was like watching a horror movie, though, and she hadn’t even realized that David had wrapped an arm around her waist, pulled himself to her, ready to stop the video at any moment. 

Shouts were exchanged suddenly, Henry barking at Adrian who stepped back, his hands still up, shaking his head and looking almost quizzical as he tilted his head to the side, “-her…-?” It was barely audible, though Henry’s face contorted into anger, rage, pulling a gun out of his pocket suddenly and screaming, “You could never understand my love for her!”  

One shot. Two shots. Three shots. 

Each made Y/N jump, tears in her eyes as she watched her friend, one of her closest friends, the man she trusted, shot dead in front of her, the feed suddenly cutting out. 

The video closed, leaving only the phone with its basic desktop icons before them, Y/N reaching out and gently picking up the phone, “You fucking idiot, Adrian.” Tears were falling down her cheeks, not that she cared. And even Adrian’s promise that his death was not on her was not enough. The guilt was tremendous and suddenly she felt like she was the one speeding down the highway and popping a tire. She felt everything spinning out of control and she wondered if this was the same kind of end her sister had met. Chaos. Loss. Helplessness. Blame. 

It was the icon in the bottom of the screen, however, that snapped her back, looking down at the icon that was only black but was titled all she needed:

“EVIDENCE”. 

His last gift was not a video of his death, but rather, Adrian had ensured, was a gift of life and a promise of revenge against the man who had done so much. And, perhaps, a warning of something more sinister.

(Tagging: @escapingthoughtsandsecrets​ @is-it-madness​ @detecellie​ @doritosandavocados​ @oscarflysaac​ @peccobagnaia​ @miss-missing-patd​ @hockeyandheroes​ )

[cyberkinnaman]

PAIRING: Joel Kinnaman x (fem!)Reader SUMMARY: After the shooting of Hanna you go to the club to release some pressure.  WORD COUNT: 1608 WARNINGS: swear words, age-gap relationship, Joel is much taller than you.  AUTHOR’S NOTE: Hey guys! First of all, thank you so much for your notes and writings on the previous post. I’m really glad that some of you wanted fanfiction about Joel. I’ve written a few but I was too afraid to post them, but now here we are. Please note, that English is not my main language so I’m deeply sorry for any kind of mistakes. If you want to request something or say something about this, please go ahead! I’ll very like to read your comments. Also, this was written from a 3rd person singular, but the next one will be in 2nd person. Sorry about that! Y/C/D: your chosen drink  Y/H/L: your hair length Y/H/C: your hair color liten flicka: ‘little girl’ in Swedish (I just love to imagine Joel saying this word... gosh). INSPIRED BY:  Lost - Frequency & SoulCircuit ft. Diia. (this music was on the 2nd episode of Hanna and I just loved it!!) P.S: I know this is not the best writing and it sucks, but I’ll try to do better next time I promise! :)  ___ The music was pumping through her veins. She could feel it as she asked for another drink from the bartender. Y/C/D. Her favorite. She was slightly shaking her body to the rhythm of the sound, while she was waiting for her drink. She was standing there alone, waiting for her friends while her other co-workers were chatting at the other side of the heavy club. They were finally celebrating the end of a long-lasting shooting. They always stuck together, but this night was somehow different. The boys separated at the beginning of the night from the girls quite easily. However, there were constant glazes through the club between them. A lot of relationships was born thanks to this shooting, but one particular couple stood out. Joel and Y/N. Y/N got her drink, which she eagerly poured down. She did not count the number of drinks she consumed that night, but she could certainly feel it. Yet, she was not drunk, she was just having a good time. Suddenly, her favorite music started to play, which she was very excited about. She started to move her body with more spirit to the bass of the sound. “You come alive with the moonlight I am alive with the sound” Joel was watching her. Gazing at her face as she was singing the lines of the current music with celestial joy. Joel was amazed by her. She always knew every single song on the radio, which was unbelievable for him. He often told her that, while she started to laugh and said: “it's my only talent, I’ll write it on my resume.” He was always fond of her, but he did not know what to do with this feeling, as he did not want to ruin their friendship... And of course, Joel had some self-doubt as well, as he was a lot older than Y/N. “We just need the night Oh, hold on” She was singing the lines, while her eyes were caught by Joel’s. He was looking at her with some expression she could not read. As he was watching her, sudden warmth overwhelmed her. She could not decide if this was because of embarrassment or excitement. She was hooked by Joel’s features from the first time, after knowing him the feelings for him became more. She always wanted more, but she thought that Joel was thinking about her just as a friend. Now, with that expression on his face and the several drinks which she poured down gave her some strength. “Memories flow Hold ‘em close” He was looking at her, while she was looking back at him. Their gazes intertwined. He slowly raised his glass to his mouth. Tasting the alcohol. Never looking away from her. Drinking. One sip. Then another. Until it was empty. He then wet his lips with his tongue, watching her as she continued to sway her body to the rhythm. She looked so different. Carefree. She was always stressed because of the work, but now that they are finished, she changed. Damn. He wanted her even more now. She looked so youthful and cheerful. He swallowed hard. It was if the whole world started to slow down when he was watching her. All of the feelings became so overwhelming. “Watching all the tapes turn and rewind It's love and bound I'll love it down” She could not bear his gaze anymore, it was too much. The hot, steamy air became even worse as he was watching her. She could feel her heartbeat in her ears along with the music. The blue and purple lights started to blind her, so she closed her eyes and stopped, turning away from him and the bar. Due to a sudden thought, she went to the dancefloor, hoping that he will follow her. “Lookin’ at what u can't find You lost yourself tonight” When she moved away from the bar, he looked at his friend who was all occupied by each other. He stood up and went into the direction where she disappeared. The alcohol, her face, and the music gave him the motivation which he craved for. He was captured by her sight. In the dancefloor. Completely lost in the music, dancing to the beat, with closed eyes, her fingers lost in her Y/H/L, Y/H/C hair. She swung her body sensually, touching herself all the right places. The confidence which was radiating from her utterly washed him away. “You lookin' at what you can't find You lost yourself tonight You come alive with the moonlight I am alive with the sound” She was dancing there, ultimately distracted by the music. This night was about freedom. Everything felt perfect at that time, all of her doubts disappeared immediately when she stepped in the club. Maybe, she should do this more often. She was the opposite of herself. Yet, she did not feel this good for a very long time. Suddenly, she felt a massive, muscular body behind her. Shortly after came a soft sound, brushing his lips to her ear, while a large hand cupped her waist by the side. ‘Mind if I join, liten flicka?’ it was Joel’s deep, husky voice, which she could barely hear through the loud music. She always blushed when he called her like that, but not this night. She was just smiling by the nickname, while she leaned her head back to his chest, putting her hand on top of his. Joel squeezed her hand which was now laced with his. Joel was as close as her as possible, letting her to lead the dance as she was better than him anyway. He tried to follow her movies, additionally lean down, so his face now was buried in her flowy hair. She could feel every movement, as they swayed their bodies in perfect sync. She started to feel dizzy when their bodies started to grind on each other, her eyes rolled back to the incredibly good sensation. As they got more and more lost in the music, Joel's hands started to explore her body more, caressing her from her ribs to her waist, hiking her skirt up a bit, while squeezing her sides. She was completely adrift, arching her hips to his. All of the emotions started to take over her body. She then could feel Joel's lips on her neck. She bent her neck even more, so he could reach it easily, while she lifted her hand to rush through Joel’s hair. She loved this hair on him, which was longer at the beginning, fading into a shorter one. He looked so good with this hairstyle, and the fact that he had stubble made it even better. Which is now started to tingle her neck, making her burst out into a laugh. She was now facing him, looking at each other with smiles on their faces. The whole club started to slow down, everyone around them started to move tardy, she could see the lights while they slowly switched to one color to another, when Joel pressed his lips against hers. She tried not to moan on the spot due to his soft, soaked lips on which she could feel the taste of alcohol. It was a soft, light kiss, which ended up too soon, but Joel did not want to ruin their friendship. He immediately regretted it, as he was doing something wrong. Just as they pulled away a little bit, Y/N looked up at him with shining eyes, cupping his cheeks. Maybe, she was not mad at him after all. Joel grabbed her chin, looking at her lovingly but dangerously at the same time. This time, Y/N moved, desperately and roughly pushing her lips against his, which he was happy to oblige to. Swirling their tongues around each other’s, crushing, sucking, rolling, biting. All of those and even more. Everything around them disappeared, only the two of them existed. She could hear their soft moans, slightly heavy breathing, feeling his hardening body underneath her, his burning touch, the music which was pumping in her ears, the lights, the air around them. When they finally pulled away, they were speechless. ‘Wow,’ she said, which he could barely hear. ‘Oh, Jesus....’ he said, while he tilted his head up. Y/N looked into the direction which he was looking at, turning around. The whole crew was watching them, delighted look on their faces. They were watching them through the whole time? ‘Oh, fuck off...’ Y/N shouted without a hesitation. After she said it, only she realized what she thought. She looked back at Joel, who had a surprised look on his face because of her behavior. ‘I’m sorry...’ she was just as shocked, but they started to laugh to release some tension. ‘It’s okay’ he said. ‘I just didn't know you had this dark, sassy side in you.’ ‘Oh, just wait for it... you’ll be very surprised about what’s in me.’ she answered ambiguously, laughing while moving closer again to him. ‘Oh, really?’ he smirked, while grabbed her by the waist. ‘Maybe, I can show you one day, who knows’ she said, pulling a serious face on herself. ‘I would very like that, liten flicka’ he answered honestly, which filled her hear with happiness. ‘Me too’ she said after a short pause. ‘Let’s dance, Kinnaman. And if you're good, maybe you’ll be rewarded by the end of the night.’ he smiled down at her, looking as if he was in love. He breathed another kiss to her lips, holding her by the middle. She was on her tip-toes, returning the kiss which was just the beginning of a very good night.

[this-is-freeridge]

The Air Between Us

Chapter Two: Mari spends some time with Spooky before she finally meets Ruben.

Warning: this fic deals with dark themes, including but not limited to teen pregnancy, rape, drug abuse, murder, abortion, underage drinking and underage sex.

Find all chapters here

I adjusted one paragraph in chapter one to fix a timeline error - feel free to re-read that here before reading this.

There was definitely more than nicotine in that cigarette.

The world was spinning. It was slow, like a galaxy spins in swirls full of bright blues and pinks against a dark, empty sky. Mari giggled and reached out a hand, reaching out for the sun in the sky as though she could wrap her fingers around it and rip it out of the sky to keep all of the light for herself.

Spooky’s laugh pulled her attention back. She turned to look at him, black curls falling over her face and clouding her sight. She giggled again and pursed her lips, blowing upward in an attempt to move the dark strands that were tickling the end of her nose.

A warm, calloused hand grabbed her own.

“What are you doing, girl?” Spooky said, guiding her hand from where it hovered in the air and placing it gently back in her lap.

“I’m catching the sun!” She exclaimed happily as she slumped across the couch and over Spooky’s lap. She looked up at him and smiled when she saw the amused glint in his eye as he smiled back down on her.

“This is the softest couch,” she said. Her eyes closed as she let the sun kiss her skin. “I feel like I’m floating,”

And she did. She felt like she was floating, adrift at sea whilst all her problems were being pulled away in a riptide. She had no cares left in the world - not (finally) meeting Ruben; not Geny’s obvious dislike of her; not her junkie mother (and, by extension, her mother’s junkie boyfriend); not any part of the life she had left behind. She felt free and she loved that feeling, but that’s what scared her the most.

Spooky brushed the hair from her face and asked “you good, chica?”

Mari only nodded in response as the cholo took her by the shoulders and helped her get back into a seated position. She leaned against his side, still feeling weightless. Spooky took the joint from where it sat on the small ceramic plate that acted as an ashtray atop a plastic milk crate for a table.

“I’m great,” she sighed happily and gazed upward, squinting against the harsh sunlight but beaming brightly up at him, “never been better. Today has been the best! I’ve come to a new town, made a new friend, and soon I’ll get to meet my dad!”

Spooky inhaled deeply, shaking his head at the young girl who was resting lazily against his side. He made a conscious effort to turn his head away from her as he exhaled the smoke before he turned back and asked her, “is this the first time you’ve been high?”

Mari gasped and almost jumped in her seat. “Yes! I’ve done that too!”

She was all but giggling like a schoolgirl with a new toy. Spooky thought that something about her innocence should put him off, but it didn’t. She had looked so down, so uncomfortable, so fake tough for so much of the day that it actually made him happy to see her smiling. He didn’t know why - he shouldn’t care, but she was in Freeridge now. She came here for a new life, she had family in the community - hell, her half brother was one of Cesar’s best friends - and now she was a part of this community; the big, dysfunctional family that is Freeridge. That meant that she was, at least to some extent, Santos responsibility too.

Spooky felt like he took on a lot of that responsibility. Maybe it was because he wad the leader of the Santos, and therefore it was on him to keep the neighbourhood safe and the Santos in line. Maybe it was because she was so young, new to town and seemingly innocent that it brought out the big brother instincts from deep within. Or maybe it was just because that girl is fine and he wouldn’t mind staying on her good side. (He figured it was the latter, since her tan skin, dark curls and pouty lips definitely didn’t elicit brotherly thoughts).

‘Shit,’ Spooky thought. Mari was meant to be meeting Ruben in less than an hour but she was in no state to do so. As cute and funny as it may have been to the cholo, he didn’t think Ruben or Geny would appreciate the scene, and this was far too important to Mari for him to let it fuck up. He wasn’t about to help Freeridge break up another family.

He placed his hands on his knees and boosted himself up with a heavy sigh. He stretched his arms out above his head to stretch his back and rolled his neck to work out the kinks that had built up as he had sat so still (and uncomfortably) so not to disturb Mari while she leaned against him.

Pretending not to notice the way the younger girl was openly ogling him as he stretched, he held a hand out to help her up. She didn’t take his hand, but she smiled up at him. It wasn’t the bright but vacant smile she had earlier when she was talking about the sun and all the things she’d done today. This was was slow, taking it’s time to take over her face and sweet, like cotton candy. He raised an eyebrow in silent question, trying to stop his own smile.

“You’re sweet, Spooky,”

She said his name as though she was challenging him. To what; he didn’t know, but were her words true? Maybe, to her. He could be sweet when he wanted to, and right now, with her, he wanted to. People were scared of him - and he could be scary, but he didn’t have a reason to right now. Sometimes it was nice to stop being Spooky, the tough, responsible gang leader, and just let himself be Oscar, a caring brother, a great cook, a sweet guy.

Of course, he wasn’t about to say any of this, so in response he took her hand and dragged her up and inside the house. She didn’t protest, only asked where they were going. He pulled her gently to the kitchen and sat her down at a round wooden table. She grabbed the chair beside her, dragged it closer with light screech. Looking right at Spooky, she patted the empty seat.

Flashing her one of his amused smirks (that she was starting to think was just his face) he shook his head and wandered past her into the next room.

“Where are you going?” Her voice was higher than expected, and her heart started to race at the thought he was going to leave her in here alone, “you can’t just take me into your house and leave!”

“Calm down, hyna,” he said, stopping as he was just past the threshold, “I’m just making you some food,”

Realising that he was going to be in sight, just in the kitchen barely two metres away, her speeding heart relaxed. She laughed at her panicked outburst when she noticed there wasn’t even going to be a door between them, only a couple of small island counters.

Spooky pulled some ingredients from the run down looking fridge; eggs, cheese, bacon and cream. Crinkling her nose at the mix of ingredients, she asked, “what are you making me?”

For the first time, he smiled a genuine smile. She liked that look on him.

“The Spooky Surprise,” he said, pulling a bread roll from a little wooden breadbox atop the bench.

She sat silently as he worked. The stove was small, but he used it like a pro; frying bacon in one pan, scrambling the eggs and cream in another, all while the roll, now with an added slather of butter, was toasting under the grill.

“I didn’t know you could cook,” she said absentmindedly. She liked it though, he looked like he was in his element. He looked happy, like he didn’t have a care in the world. She liked this side of him, a lot, and she felt privileged to be allowed to witness it.

With a shrug, he answered her, “There’s a lot you don’t know yet; you only met me today,”

“Yet,” she responded as he assembled the strange breakfast burger type concoction - bread, bacon, scrambled eggs, cheese, bread - it looked sickening, “Does that mean I’ll get the chance to know you?”

He didn’t say anything as he brought the food to her and set the plate down and sat on the chair across from her. Maybe she would get to know him, maybe they’d never speak again. Maybe he’d only let her hang around long enough for them to smash. He didn’t know, he wasn’t thinking that far ahead, so he didn’t say anything; he didn’t want her to get any ideas.

Shit, he was just trying to help out someone new to town and now she was acting like they were friends. He didn’t have time for a girlfriend, and he didn’t know if she’d be cool being just another hyna, and he didn’t know if he could be bothered having her around if they weren’t fucking.

“Eat,” he said. His happy and carefree demeanour had vanished and that deep frown (the same one he had when he saw the Prophet$) was back. Mari instantly regretted her words; she should’ve known that his armour would’ve come back up when she started talking about wanting to know him - not Spooky, but the mysterious, unnamed man underneath.

When she didn’t start on her food, he repeated, more forcefully and with a bang of his palm on the table, “eat,”

She didn’t mean to, but she flinched at the aggression. If these mood-swings were common, she was starting to understand why he is nicknamed Spooky.

He seemed to catch himself and, with a hiss of fuck under his breath, he leaned back and said, one last time, “eat, please,”

“Why do you care so much if I eat, huh? Where’s your food,” she pushed the plate away with one finger, just to be difficult, and folded her arms across her chest, back on the defensive and ready for a battle.

Mari wasn’t prepared for the answer she got.

“I’m not hungry,” he started, “and you’re meant to be meeting Ruben in just over half an hour, and I can tell you’re still high. Food can help bring you down. I don’t want to be the reason your meeting with your dad goes wrong,”

She pulled the food back toward herself, but she didn’t eat it yet.

“What if,” she started, but she couldn’t meet his eyes as she focused her attention on picking at the splintering wood of the worn table, “what if I’m making a mistake? What if Ruben doesn’t want me there?”

“He know you’re coming?”

“Of course,”

“Then he wants you there,”

About half an hour, one sloppy but surprisingly delicious Spooky Special and a glass of water with lemon juice and cracked pepper later, she was back outside that house. Spooky had walked her there, but she made sure he left this time. She needed to be a big girl and handle this herself but she knew she couldn’t do that if there was a getaway car waiting just outside.

Crossing the yard a second time was like deja vu and a sense of foreboding hung above her like her own personal storm cloud. She knocked on the door and tensed, waiting for Geny’s rejection to pierce through her a second time.

It didn’t come. This time, when the door opened, behind it was a man. He was tall, with a wide face and a full, greying beard. The hair atop his head was greying, too, a sign of age and low spirits. This man didn’t look dispirited though, or old for that fact. There was a youthful glint in his eye and he was smiling so gleefully he reminded Mari a little of Santa Claus.

“Mariana?” He asked, almost giddy.

She swallowed the nervous lump in her throat and nodded. “Uh, yeah. Ruben?”

The tall man looked like he might cry as his eyes glossed over with unshed tears. And then, he swept in and engulfed her in his large arms. She froze for just a moment before she hugged back. She wasn’t used to this sort of affection, but she could get used to it.

Hugging Ruben felt safer and more at home than she ever did with her mother and her mother’s boyfriend. Though unfamiliar, it was nice.

“I’m sorry,” he said, stepping back and sniffling, “I’m just so happy you’re finally here,”

Finally here. Mari supposes Geny didn’t tell him she was actually here earlier. She didn’t blame her, but she couldn’t help but wonder if Geny would ever be accepting of her.

“That’s okay,” she said, offering a smile, “I’m really happy to be here. I can’t believe I’m finally meeting you,”

She allowed her happiness to show on her face. Her smile was wide and her eyes were smiling too, twinkling up at the man that was living proof that she wasn’t doomed to be like her mother. There was no point hiding her happiness behind her nerves or fear of rejection. Even if the rest of the family - Geny, four kids, and their abuelita, if she remembers what he had told her via email - didn’t want her there, Ruben was happy to have her in his life and that’s all that mattered to her.

“We’re happy to have you here. I’m sorry it took this long,” he said solemnly.

“It’s okay - I know you tried,” she said with a small shrug. There was no use apologising anymore. What’s done is done and can’t be changed, she could only hope it could be forgotten.

“Well,” he said, cheering back up, “come on in and meet the family!”

And finally, she stepped over the threshold and into her new life.

.

Once again, I don’t speak Spanish so I’m using Google, please correct me!

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