#you dont have to reply to this btw i know its long and incoherent

[credulouscanidae]

re: learned helplessness post // (please know i am not intending rudeness)

the problem isnt that these people need specific instructions, its that they (for lack of kinder terms) make things harder for themselves, and also that instead of asking someone who can help them in person, they just quit and blame the online recipe. the blame of the online recipe is where the helplessness part comes in

to use the boiled egg ex., most recipes or guides online actually *do* tell you that you need a pot big enough for the amount of eggs, enough water just to cover them, and to set the stove on high until the water boils. there are specific instructions. asking what temperature to set the stove to needs only a follow-up "what temp does water boil" google search to know that water boils at 212F/100C

the point of "learned helplessness" (i do agree the term has become watered down from its actual meaning) is to frustrate the person helping you into just doing it for you, or to convince them youre too incompetent to do it and, again, do it for you

as someone who also genuinely stalls and gets overwhelmed when i dont have a specific process lined out and practiced, there comes a point where you do need to help yourself. ask to be shown specificly in real life how to do something. watch a how-to video if thats not an option. instead of just giving up and deciding not to do it because its scary and new (/not mean)

in conclusion i am not intending any snide tone or sarcasm or meanness or anything so please dont think that i am attacking you or your brother. that post is specifically about people who are unwilling to find a way to do the things they need to do, not people that need help in general

hey, thanks for such a respectful message and adding to the discussion! its really interesting hearing these different perspectives

i guess in the end we dont personally know the people in the screenshots. are they demonstrating learned helplessness? or are they simply venting a frustration that they experience in their day to day lives as a disabled person? i know in the end they chose to post those things online, instead of googling solutions or connecting with other people privately to find solutions, but i guess in the end we dont know who they are, what support networks they have/who they can reach out to, or if they're using the boiling egg as a vague example to demonstrate that some tasks arent as simple as abled people find them! and for the record, i have had my fair share of online recipes that really vaguely say "add a splash of" "use a generous amount of" and other really vague instructions, so i guess its a luck of a draw on what recipe you find haha!

but in the same vain i do see where you're coming from. i think it's important for people to challenge themselves. someone i know also has troubles doing "simple" tasks like boiling an egg, and they explained that they have learned to challenge themselves with these tasks, and overcomign the anxiety of fucking it up. and theyve fucked up a lot trying to heat frozen meals, or making toast, and like, its shit cuz it costs additional money cuz youve burnt the food and can no longer eat it, but if you are able to afford to make those mistakes, then yeah, go for it. especially if theres no financial consequence, i think its really important to self-evaluate, find your threshold, understand yourself and your limits, and push yourself in that compassionate way. like with my ADHD, i definitely dont do the "i have this thing, oh well guess im just doomed to do [symptom] forever". i try to approach it with "maybe i cant do all 10 tasks ive been putting off doing all in one day, but im going to make it a goal to do at least one today" "im going to forget and be overwhelmed, so im going to set 5 different alarms 5 mins after each other to remind me" doing things like that to set yourself up for success.

so in that sense, yeah, i definitely agree that it benefits when people challenge themselves, in ways that are practical. i do admit my brother for example struggles with confidence, but he also has some personality difficulties where he feels the world owes him. he definitely demonstrates learned helplessness in some aspects.

and i think my brain just went on a tangent, because i was mainly getting heated at the comments on the post, wehre people were being downright ableist and shitty. and i think i just see this rhetoric way too much, where when someone genuinely struggles with something, it's generally met with a "haha! how can you find that difficult? thats so easy!" and that always rubs me the wrong way. i interpreted the screenshots as the people talking about finding it difficult to boil an egg as them trying to provide insight into the idea that something seemingly so simple is actually really complex for some people.

but anywaayyy, as i said in the end we dont know who these people are, or their intention, but i personally interpreted them as just being very candid in explaining their struggle. and maybe, yeah, they could learn to take risks and attempt to boil an egg instead of talking about how much they cant do it to the online sphere, but i know i dont know the context, and therefore dont wanna make assumptions

[mxdnightlvers]

Cold- A Saeran Fanfic

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Game: Mystic Messenger

Story: Another story

Route: Ray route 8th day

Character: Suit Saeran

~~~Please read these warnings

-NSFW

TW; Slight exhibitionism, slight dumbification, choking.

(They're all consensual.)

These topics can make you uncomfortable so please dont read if you know this isnt your cup of tea.

~~~End of warnings :)

BTW SAERAN DOESN'T WEAR SOCKS WITH HIS SHOES AND I??? LIKE WHY DUDE.

Thanks alot to @sensetenou for this idea!

*contains spoilers for Ray route :)*

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My bed, it remained the same but now became too uncomfortable to sleep in. The sheets falling off, blanket tossed to the side, the pillows being the only item that's neat. The light from the window that usually was the start of another fun day soon became unwanted as the days became painful to endure. The clouds passed by slowly, in harmony with the wind. The birds chirped and the garden was visible from my window. It looks, peaceful.

The long walk down the hallway that soon revealed a gorgeous garden. The cold air that made me shiver a bit. Ray noticed that and offered to give me his jacket. He smiled brightly as he fitted it onto me and he toured me of the garden.

I stood out in the garden, looking at the flowers that reminded me of Ray. I haven't seen him all day and didn't seem well in the chat rooms either.

"Who's there?" I hear from behind me and turn around to see Ray.

His sobbing broke my heart as he spouted insults at himself. I wanted to tell him that he isn't worthless and that he is such a kind and caring person. I wanted to hug him and take all of his self hate away.

"Ray! Stop please!" I spoke up, my voice cracking halfway.

"I don't hate you! I really really like you! So can you please look at me?"

His eyes met mines and I pulled him in for a kiss.

My room was now off limits to all believers. The room that was prepared by Ray now had a suffocating atmosphere to it. I gazed outside the window, trying to relive my memories with Ray. I wonder if I escaped to the outside, I would be peaceful once more. The thought quickly disappeared myself as I reminded myself of Saeran.

"Saeran..." I mumbled to myself.

I turned my attention to my room and gazed upon the sight. The flowers that Ray gifted to me has now wilted, the stems barely holding the flower up. Those flowers were all I had left of Ray as I tried to hold his memory on for long as possible. I opened the chat room to see that V announced that the party was going to be on hold. I took a deep breath as I had an idea of what was going to happen to me. I was scared but I can't give up just yet.

The thought of Saeran crosses my mind again. Just, how much did he suffer to turn into this? I want to run away from this place but I want to stay, for Saeran and Ray's sake. The warmhearted man that would care for me was now someone who used anger as a shield for them. It was something hard for me to get used to. I did not want to accept any of this. I don't want to believe that he had been hurt so much to make him like this. Maybe if we escaped together he would finally find peace in his heart. I held onto the hope that we would soon escape this place as it was all I had.

"I need a break." I sighed looking at the clouds.

I weakly stood up and made my way into the bathroom. I turned on the sink to splash some water onto my face. I dried my face in the mirror and looked at how frail I had become. My color had faded from my face, my eyes being the only color visible. However, my eyes could barely keep themselves open, yearning for me to rest.

"Princess..." A voice I know all too well called out for me.

The room changing to a suffocating atmosphere and I took deep breaths, anticipating what's going to happen next.

Slam!

The door was forced open and in its entrance stood Saeran. His eyebrows furrowed, mint eyes staring through me. His stance was tall even though he was only a few inches taller. His tie was slightly loosened and his clothes weren't ironed, making all the creasing visible. Just the sight of him made me feel timid.

"Tch! The RFA's attack is so lame with V canceling the party." He scoffed, looking at me in annoyance.

"V said that the party will be on hold-"

"Hahaha! V is just tricking you to keep you hoping. Do you honestly believe that man? What an airhead." He taunted, making me look down at the floor.

"Ugh you and V piss me off so much. Seriously, how can you be such a useless toy."

My eyes stayed fixed onto the bathroom tiles, my back leaned against the sink countertop and my hair falling forwards. His words would always tug at my heart but I always reminded myself to not let it get the better of me. Even if he is to call me names or to hurt me, he would eventually get hurt in the end. Either way, it's not healthy for the both of us. However, I cannot let myself be swayed by his actions and words as I hope to escape this place safely with him. I took deep breaths in this suffocating atmosphere, the tension rising more between us.

"Hey, princess. Are you ignoring me? Do you think you have a right to ignore me?" He snapped, my eyes directing their attention to his body.

"Such a boring toy, do something to entertain me!" He shouted almost hitting his hand on the wall.

"This is annoying. Such a useless toy! This is annoying. This is annoying. This is annoying!" He screamed.

His voice cracked as he desperately tried to insult me.

"Do you know why they cancelled the party? Because you screwed everything up not me! This is all your fault!" He scolded along with a loud thump against the wall only to see that he slammed his fist against the wall.

"Saeran that's enough! You'll just hurt yourself!"

"Shut up! Who do you think you are to tell me that!"

With that sentence he grabbed me by my waist and pinned me down onto the cold bathroom floor. My head pulsed from the impact, my eyes squinting from the pain. I tried to gain my focus back and looked at the figure above me. His hands were over my shoulders and legs beside mines, my legs falling onto the floor. His eyes seemed to be brighter through his hair, a smirk plastered on face. I moved my legs, pushing my body away from his but he pinned my arms down, pulling me back to him.

"You're the worst. You piss me off so much and you're so boring, should I just get rid of you here?" He cursed at me.

"Saeran please..." I pleaded, not sure what else to say.

My head still ached but I barely paid attention to his insults. He noticed that and gripped onto my arms tighter. I flinched and looked at him. He shouted at me to answer him but my words came out incoherent. He started holding me tighter, his nails hurting me a bit.

"Saeran stop." I winced at the pain.

It wasn't expected but he released his grip from me. His hands still held mines firmly but he wasn't hurting me anymore. His eyes were wide, seemingly shocked but he quickly removed any signs of worry.

"Ugh such a boring toy can't you do anything interesting?" He taunted.

He seemed somewhat timid a few seconds ago and now he's spouting insults at me again. Whenever he showed any form caring, his actions will always revert to his anger. His anger was a shield for him, he gets angry because he's scared that his hope will turn into despair. The small details meant a lot, which made me more aware of his feelings. I just wish I can somehow save him from this pain. He grabbed my head, pulling me out of my thoughts as he realized that I was spacing out.

"Tch! don't ignore me! Are you trying to provoke me?" His voice ringed in my ears but I managed to keep my eyes away from his

"Oh? You are ignoring me." He remarked as he realized my actions.

"Haha well? Make me mad! Mess with me Come on, try it hmm? I'll play with you." He yelled, his words echoing throughout the bathroom.

His face was inches away from mines. The feeling of his breath ghosting my skin, which raised goosebumps everywhere. I placed my hands on his shoulders, anxious of what's to come. He unexpectedly pressed his lips against my neck in places he had previously marked me. He bit down on my skin but not enough to hurt me. My eyes widened and my jaw opened at his actions not knowing how to react at first. If we were mutual about our feelings for each other this would be a pleasurable feeling but in the end he was just taunting me. I took deep breaths in, the feeling being somehow wanted and unwanted at the same time. My hands were still on his shoulders but my push against him became weaker. My eyes shut as I tried to redirect my thoughts.

His lips were placed on my neck. He was now gently nipping at my skin. He's above me but his hands that held onto me loosened. His grip onto me weakened. I questioned him and even, myself. My feelings were conflicted with my thoughts in a battle of 'yes' and 'no'.

"Tch!"

He suddenly pulled away, and I opened my eyes to realize that my hands has unknowingly creeped into his hair. He was now towering over my body that was still laid out on the floor. I tried to gather my thoughts, confused by my own actions. Saeran looked down at me frowning but, it was not at my gesture but at something else.

"Didn't I tell you this already? This smell of yours been getting on my nerves." He insulted, mentioning the unknown smell once again.

"Don't tell me you don't even know how to wash properly." He scorned.

"But I don't know-" I replied standing up but quickly getting cut off.

"Do you want to know, hmm?"

I looked at him and thought about my answer.

"Hah! Did you think you actually had a choice even if you answered?"

He smirked at me, his devilish smile showing his intentions. He kicked off his shoes and walked towards me. My thoughts were immediately cut off when he grabbed my wrist and dragged me into the shower, my sandals falling off in the process. He turned on the cold water and pushed me into it. The feeling of cold water made me flinch and I quickly moved out of the water. Saeran however did not like my actions and dragged me back into the freezing water, soaking me in my clothes. I brought my hands as close as they can be, trying to create some sort of warmth as I trembled underneath the water. I pulled and twisted my wrist to be freed from Saeran's grip but the cold water made me weaker, keeping his grip firm onto me.

"Haha! Hahaha! I'll tell you. I'll tell you how much you need to wash before you see me." He laughed hysterically at my struggles, running his hand through his hair and looking at the ceiling.

His smile wide, forming creepily on his face and his messy hair that covered his wide eyes. He was pretty dry, only a few drop of water stained on his suit.

"Stop please!" I yelped, his eyes focusing their attention on me.

"Ugh, should I just mask your mouth or something. I'll listen to you after you're tamed." He looked at me with disgust, his glare making me timid and forcing me into obedience.

My back suddenly hit the wall, arching at the impact. He had his hand around my neck but they fell to my hips to keep me in place. The pain I felt quickly disappeared as he made no haste in attaching his lips to my neck again. My hands reached to his shoulders to push him away giving me no time to process the situation. I wriggled in his grasp, my legs brushing against his now, wet clothes. He bit my neck, any words that I tried to say turning into small yelps. He was rough, his teeth biting at my skin, sucking and licking at places. He got what he wanted as I couldn't say anything but incoherent whines. Even if I wanted to say anything, I don't know what I could say. Seeing Saeran react like this was very new and shocking to me. It may be to taunt me but he would never take advantage of me, so why would he go this far? His left hand trailed down my body and rested at the edge of my dress. My legs closed at the feeling but his hands gripped my thighs and forced them open.

"Please please please." I repeated in my thoughts, my eyes closing again.

I did not want to think about what's happening but my mind redirected itself.

I did not want to think about the way he kissed my neck so rough but so gentle. The feeling of his teeth gently nipping at me. I did not want to think about his hand loosening their grip on my hips and moving to the back of my waist and pulling me closer. His hands also gripping my thighs but loosening to circle his thumbs against my skin.

"Why?"

"Why am I thinking this way?"

"Why am I paying attention to the small details?"

"Why is he being gentle?"

"What does any of this mean if it means anything?"

"Why do I feel myself getting hotter despite the cold water that previously splashed on me?"

"I'm not supposed to feel this way."

"But... why does my body disagree?"

My yelps slowly became into soft sighs and whines. My body that was tensed slowly became melted under his touch. I did not want to give in but my body disobeyed. My breathing fastened as I became needy for him. I wanted to push him away. I wanted to struggle away but I also yearned for him. Even if I did try to push him away my grip would always intentionally weaken. It felt wrong but it also felt so right. I felt conflicted, being between pushing him away or giving into the temptation. His actions became gentle and he tried not to hurt me. Even though he's mean towards me, I couldn't bring myself to despise him. The small details meant so much more to me. He is rough at first but his actions became gentle and caring. I did not understand why and I don't think he realized it either. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself, my body and thoughts would always direct me to one answer. Slowly, my hands that were pushing him away, started gently pulling him closer. I moved my hands to entangle into his hair but he pulled away at my gestures.

"Who do you think you are to do that? Are you enjoying yourself too much?"

When he pulled away I did not bother to think about my actions as I had already decided on what I wanted. I paid no attention to his words and instead I studied his figure. Even though its wet, his suit seemed to fit him more attractively. His tie was loosened around his neck. His lips red and mouth slightly ajar from kissing me. His cheeks were tinted red and his eyes lost any traces of anger in them. He looked as if he was slowly losing his persona. If only I could pretend that nothing happened in the past few days and rush to him right now. The sight of him warmed my heart, hoping for him to hopefully find himself again. I could feel his gaze on me as if he was studying me as well. He lifted my chin up and I tried to avoid eye contact with him. I was sure that my cheeks were blushing and I was still breathing heavily. He understood my actions and softly chuckled.

"Oh? Haha Haha," He chuckled softly, "You are enjoying yourself aren't you princess? My my, such a naughty girl."

"Maybe you'll actually be good girl for me hmm?" He hummed in delight.

He leaned into me again and his hands ran up the sides of my body and stopped at the neckline of my dress. His hands played gently with the lace and my heart fastened at his movements. His gentle moments stopped and I was jerked forward towards his body. A loud tear echoed throughout the bathroom as peices of fabric fell off my shoulders. He had ripped the lace part of my dress, enough for it to fall off my shoulders. I gasped at my clothes that was now useless. He forced the dress off me and tossed it outside the shower. I was left in my underwear that was soon to be removed. He stayed put and made no haste in tossing my bra away as well. A blush became highly visible on my face and my hands crossed over my chest in embarrassment. He forced my hands to my side, my body on full view again. His movements were quick which gave me no time to react. He was rough but this time, I welcomed his actions towards me.

He pulled my underwear down along with his body and he looked up at me. My face reddened more and he chuckled at my reactions. We exchanged no words, our actions being enough to tell eachother what we wanted. He bit the inside of my legs and trailed his tongue up to my thighs. I gasped at the feeling and my hands moved aimlessly, not knowing what to do. He kept eye contact as the water flickered back and forth onto his face. His glare was intense and his eyes were now filled with lust. I tried talking but my words came out as soft gasps and sighs. He stopped at my thighs, leaving hickies there. He barely touched me and I was already going crazy. My hands moved from my sides and into his hair, tugging it slightly. He trailed his tongue further up my thighs, his breath ghosting where I needed to be touched the most. I held his head and pulled him closer, but again, he pulled away. I pouted, upset that he stopped his actions. He did not say anything and pushed me against the wall again. He stepped back and looked at me up and down clearly enjoying the position he had me in. He bit his lip and I crossed my hands over my chest and closed my legs, feeling shy once more. He frowned and placed his hands on my hips. This gesture made my hands fall to my sides but my legs remained tightly closed. He scoffed and roughly forced my thighs open. I tried to close them again but he shoved his knee between them.

"Ah ah princess. A toy like you dont have the right to be shy. You're just a useless toy who needs her master to train her hmm?" He whispered teasingly.

"Y-yes." I breathed out, his words at actions making me dizzy.

"Good girl."

I dont know if I obeyed him because of how needy I was, or the way he talked to me. Either way, his pet names and actions only made me want him more. I closed my legs around his knee, trying to create even a little bit of friction. I was desperate for even the slightest touch which he starved me from. He held my hips and I slung my hands around his shoulders. He kissed my neck, his teeth pulling and nipping at my skin. I seemed to long for oxygen more with every kiss.

He did not hesitate at all to mark me as his. He was rough, but also gentle with his actions as he claimed me. With every second that passed, I wanted, needed more of him. He held my hips with a bit more force and his nails dug into them slightly. Everytime I felt his teeth agaisnt my skin, small gasps and sighs escaped my mouth. He detached his lips from my neck and smirked at the marks he left on me. He then kissed me roughly which made it harder for me to kiss back. I was breathless as our mouths slid against eachother, my hands trying to grasp wherever I can on his body. He bit my lip, asking for entrance but I denied him. He mumbled something against my lips and suddenly rocked my hips back and forth against him.

The sudden pleasure made me gasp and he forced his tongue inside me. I tried to kiss back but it was almost impossible to. I pulled on his hair as his tongue slid agaisnt mines. He pulled away, letting me breathe and my head fell back in pleasure. He pulled me further onto him and forced my hips to grind against his clothed thigh even more. I whined, enjoying the feeling of finally receiving pleasure. My hair covered and stuck to my face but through the strands I saw him staring at me, enjoying the sight. His cheeks were tinted but his actions weren't flustered. I leaned forward, my head resting on his shoulder and I bit gently onto it. He flinched at first but surprisingly didn't push me away. I closed my eyes and my whimpers turned into soft sobs against his skin. I slowly started moving my hips in rhythm with his hands He loosened his hands on me, allowing me to move at my own pace. I started moving faster, my legs trembling against his as I approached my high. He realized I was close and removed his leg from my thighs. I whined at the loss of contact and the loss of my climax. I lifted my head up and pouted. He chuckled and pushed me completely off him.

"Look at you. I've barely touched you and you're already a mess for me." He cooed pointing out at my hair that stuck to my face and body.

He stepped back, smirking at me,"Such a messy princess."

His smile was somehow sadistic. He enjoyed this. He enjoyed seeing me want him and he loved not giving me what I wanted. He then started removing his clothes at an annoyingly slow pace. His first removed the chain that hung around his suit, then the buttons on his blazer. He was intentionally slow in his actions as he tossed his blazer outside the shower. He removed his tie but kept it hanging around his neck. He then started unbuttoning his shirt as he teased me with every action. One button. Then the second. Then the third. I waited slowly in anticipation, digging my nails into the wall to keep me from running towards him. The anticipation and pressure of his teasing got to me and I couldn't help but look away. He quickly snapped his fingers at me to direct my attention back to him.

"Look at me." He commanded.

"This is what you wanted right? Why are you looking away princess? Do it again and I wont let it pass so easily." His voice was stern but it also had a hum to it that reminded me that he was still teasing me.

I listened to his demands and forced myself to keep my eyes on him. He made me into his toy now. With every command I turn into putty and obey him and he loved it. He loved having control over my actions and using me how he pleased. His words were sharp but his tone always softened which made it apparent that his intention was not to be mean. He finally got rid of his shirt and tossed it aside. His body was littered with scars which made me guess where he got them from. The thought sunk my heart but I quickly shook them off as he walked closer to me. He was still in his pants, his bulge being highly visible. I bit my lip and crossed my legs tightly, the heavy feeling of arousal returning. He placed his hand against me on the wall and grabbed my chin to kiss him. I ran my hands down his chest and felt him flinch a bit by my movements. I ran my hands down to his pants trying to unbuckle his belt but they were quickly swatted away.

"Such a greedy princess. Did anyone tell you not to touch what's not your property?" He scoffed fully removing his belt.

He removed his last peice of clothing and my cheeks reddened at the sight. His body was on full view for me to admire. He stroked his cock a few times, small grunts escaping his lips. I placed my hands against his and guided his hands along his cock. His hand found it's place on the wall as he grunted with every stroke. He looked down and his hair fell forward as he sped up his movements. He stopped his actions but I didn't and continued to stroke him. His eyebrows were knitted and beads of sweat and water dripped down his forehead. He whispered at me to stop before swatting away my hands. His hands then found my waist again and he pulled me closer.

"Jump." He whispered.

I obeyed and jumped, wrapping my legs around him in the process. My hands were around his neck as he backed me against the wall once more. I felt his tip slide into my entrance but not the rest. He looked at me, a hint of worry showing as if he was asking for permission. My breathing was uneven and I was slightly panting from just wanting to get fucked by him. I slightly nodded and he slowly guided himself into me. I softly moaned at the feeling I longed for. My hands grasped tightly onto his shoulders as he slowly started to rock his hips. He pressed his lips against mines, his soft sighs more audible against me. He started thrusting faster into me and I whimpered against his lips. Every stroke made my body shudder in pleasure which made moans and whimpers slip from my mouth. I pulled away from the kiss and tried to catch my breath. My mind was hazy from the pleasure, my moans slipping more from me. He leaned into my neck, grunting at the pleasure. I raked my nails down his back feeling him wince a bit. He gripped my hips with more force, his nails digging into my skin. He pulled me closer onto him and the sound of skin slapping against eachother became louder than the shower. He bit down on my neck and my hips bucked towards him in pleasure. I tilted my head back which gave him better access to my neck. My eyes rolled back, my words coming out as incoherent slurs and whines. I was dizzy from his actions as I was only able to feel the mind numbing pleasure he gave me. I slowly lost any energy as I only wanted to feel him fucking into me. My grip loosened around him and I struggled to hold myself up against him. His thruts then sped up which snapped me back into reality, regaining my senses. My moans became increasingly louder and Saeran became more audible. I moved my hands to brush his wet hair out of his face.

"If you keep being this loud the other believers will hear you." He grunted, barely able to keep up with his words.

"I really don't care who can hear us." I breathed out, my words mixing in with my moans.

He chuckled and pulled me back in for a kiss. He kept his rough pace with every kiss, our teeth clashing together and his tongue pressing against mines. Our kiss was sloppy, both of us moaning into eachothers lips. He suddenly pulled out of me and set me down on the ground. Everytime he pulled away it killed me. I was dumbfounded by the pleasure that I never wanted to stop. He then spun me around, his hand firm on my ass and the other one wrapped around my neck. He quickly found his way inside me again and resumed his pace. My hands were placed against the wall for support, slipping and sliding off because of the water. He bent down to me and gently bit down on my shoulders. His teeth made me whimper and I bit down on my lip to try and subdue my moans.

His hand quickly tightened around my neck and pulled my head back to him, "Mmm princess you dont care who hears you right?"

I tried to reply but my words came out as whines and gasps. Instead, I nodded my head repeatedly.

"Well...? Don't hold them back princess, let everyone hear how good I'm making you feel." He chuckled and loosened his grip on my neck.

He started fucking into me faster and I allowed my moans to helplessly fall from my mouth. He removed his hand from my neck and held my wrist tightly as he focused more on his thrusts. I felt my orgasm approaching and I started pushing myself back onto him, chasing after my release. His grip however, tightened around my waist and forced me in place. He slowed down his thrusts and started moving at an agonizingly slow pace. I became impatient and tried to force my hips back onto him but he quickly pulled out of me. I whined but he gave me no response and started teasingly sliding against me.

"You're close arent you?" He hummed in delight. I just whimpered in response while nodding my head.

"Well beg for me princess."

His command startled me which made me hesitant but I complied regardless.

"Saeran please I..." I sighed, my words trailing off.

"Mm? I can't hear you." He teased me further.

"Saeran please I need you!-" I screamed but my words were cut off when he spun me around and picked me up.

He slammed himself back into me, thrusting as fast as he can. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into him, my moans being muffled by his shoulder. I felt my orgasm approach again and he thankfully didn't stop.

"Saeran...fuck...I." I whined as I tried to warn him but my words wouldn't form.

He got the hint and pushed off his shoulder. I quickly grasped onto his shoulder, a string of curses falling from my lips. My legs trembled around him and I repeated his name desperately as I came around him. I panted heavily as the fatigue dawned on me but he kept thrusting into me. He leaned into my neck, mumbling incoherent words as his thrusts became sloppy. His words were nothing but incoherent mumbles that got drowned out by the water.

"Saeran, please cum for me." I begged, hoping to push him over the edge.

He mumbled a quiet 'fuck' before slowing down. His hands tightened around me and he bit harshly onto my shoulder as he came. He kept thrusting until he became over sensitive and pulled out.

My legs were still wrapped loosely around his waist as I was too tired to hold myself up properly. He kept panting from his orgasm as he tried to slow his breathing down. I slumped down onto his shoulder and closed my eyes. His hands remained on my hips but they twitched, as if they wanted to let go but also hold on. We stayed there for a moment, not saying anything to eachother. I wanted to say something but I was too tired and breathless to do so. I tried to stop myself from falling asleep but my eyes refused to open.

I felt him shiver against me, the water making both of us cold. His words were incoherent to me as I drifted in and out of sleep. His tone was recognizable however and his words had a gentle undertone to them. The sound of water stopped and I was being carried somewhere. I was then freed from his embrace when I was placed on my bed. I felt the blankets shift around me but they fell back onto the bed without covering me. Saeran scoffed and the last thing I heard was his footsteps fading away before drifting off to sleep.

The End

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Written by Dangerousfellowshoe.

[xyloophones]

hi! :) music anon here - i just read your reply and pls give me allllll the (gay) music recs!!

this is gonna be a long list anon pls buckle up. also note that im not gonna link anything bc theres a lot but all of these songs are on youtube/spotify 

🌈 xylo’s super gay, super incoherent music rec list 🌈

the basics / the popular ones

troye sivan. i know. I KNOW. half the playlist was already him but listen ive been a troye fan since he put out happy little pill & let me tell u all his songs have such a VIBE. blue neighborhood???? an iconic album. got me thru my last 2 years of high school. to this DAY i cannot listen to suburbia without thinking about driving to watch the sunrise on my first day of senior year w my best friend, sitting in the parking lot in her car n holding hands over the center console bc we were so scared of growing up. he just EVOKES that kind of MOOD u know??

listen to: fools–– talk me down–– heaven 

frank ocean !!!! a bi ICON. i waited so long for new music n he blessed us with TWO ALBUMS. not only is his music spectacular and literally lyrically genius (”see both sides like chanel?? c on both sides like chanel???“ as a metaphor for bisexuality???? BEAUTIFUL. INCREDIBLE. LITERALLY AMAZING.) but he also just has sUCH an aesthetic. 

listen to: thinkin bout you if ur feelin soft;  ivy ––chanel–– nights if u want his newer stuff

lesbian jesus herself hayley kiyoko. anon. ANON. listen to me when i tell u that her music will change ur life. she is so RELATABLE and her songs are SO CATCHY. the girls like girls music video single handedly raised my gpa and cleared my acne. 

listen to: everything uhh girls like girls–– palace–– gravel to the tempo

kehlani. im literally so obsessed. shes again another #bi icon. her gf is really cute. im in luv w her. sweetsexysavage is her latest album n its honestly??? driving my life force???? her voice is also just so lush & smooth while also bein slightly gravely in a way that makes me blush in public a lot like how can i be so gay for just her voice??? shes also just so charming n has the cutest smile and, again, i’m gay

listen to: honey is my fav song bc it reminds me of my gf (AGAIN: IM GAY) but distraction is v cute n flirty n a longtime fav. listen to in my feelings if ur ex is awful. also: keep on –– piece of mind –– the way feat. chance are all really good. just listen to her entire discography honestly

DODIE. ive been a dodie fan since i, a repressed baby gay, stumbled upon “she” on youtube and was filled with such immense love that i immediately stanned and here we are, 2 EPs later. nothing more relatable than pining for ur str8 best friend. pls listen to “she” it literally kickstarted my gay awakening

listen to: ill say it again, she –– also sick of losing soulmates–– her cover of somebody else by the 1975 

against me. i dont know if ur into punk anon but even if ur not, consider checking out against me. lead singer laura jane grace is a super badass trans woman & trans dysphoria blues is an album with. suCH EMOTION. 

listen to: black me out , a song to plan a revolution to. im here, im queer, im angry and its a midterm election year #registertovote 

lesser known artists + singles + lgbtq+ artists that i know but am not a big fan of under the cut

let me go by tunde olaniran. i regularly cried listening to this song after a break up. if u wanna be emotional n gay this is a good one. 

somebody loves you by betty who. ok not specifically gay (i dont think???) but it was used in a rlly cute gay marriage proposal (look it up on youtube im begging i guarantee u will be smiling for the rest of the day) and they are. ALWAYS. playing this one at pride. a bop. 

boyfriend by tegan and sara. ok i know theyre technically popular but no one talks about their last album and boyfriend is a good song ok?? ok.

jenny by studio killers. another song about pining after ur best friend. can u tell i went THRU SOME STUFF in high school 

ok aGAIN i know that halsey is also technically mainstream but i didnt wanna write a whole paragraph about her. listen to strangers feat. lauren jauregui. #unpopularopinion but her last album was just “ok” dont @ me

HEART ATTACK BY LOONA. do u like k pop??? do u like gay girls???? do u like cute music videos???? my friend do i have the song for u

mary lambert. she did the hook in that macklemore song. pls listen to her other stuff its so good n soft n  “i cant think straight / im so gay / sometimes i cry the whole day” #relataBLE

everyone knows who sam smith is right?? anyway prayers is good. his entire last album is honestly so good but hes not a particular fav of mine.

elton john. a LEGEND. he’s like 150 years old but im hoping the sheer love of the gay community will keep him alive for another 150 years

ANGEL HAZE. ive been a long time fan.  v emotional n the lyrics r heavy but honestly?? so important??? one of my fav rap artists

i know a place by muna. i listened to this on the way to pride n almost cried in front of my mom, my friends, and an entire BART station full of pride goers. its a v upbeat song, im just emotional 

zolita. uhh not a big fan tbh, just not my musical style

girls/girls/boys by p!atd. ok also not technically gay (?? maybe??? there are some Bi Rumors but thats not my place to say) but anyways def a bi anthem. dont watch the music video its very “lets have two girls kiss for views” which is like. not the msg of the song but whatever i aired my salt about that in 2013 n im not going back now

idk what kina grannis’s sexuality is (again, not my business) but she does a lot of good covers and never changes pronouns. i like sweater weather and shut up and dance with me a lot. 

oh !! ben j pierce !! 2 v good songs about how gender roles r bullshit n heteronormativity is awful. hes also like my exact age n i luv his makeup tutorials. 

there are honestly so many more. also a lot im forgetting. im so sorry you had to read thru this long incoherent post w my awful typing 

anyway if u want my full gay playlist on spotify just msg me off anon and ill give u a link (this goes for anyone btw !!) im currently adding + taking things out n its a constant work in progress but u know, its at least not the same 8 songs over and over again (no shade at 8tracks tho….ha …) 

[jooheongif]

it's theory anon,hi!!how are YOU?i'm really good rn thanks:)) thank you for your kindness again,i'm really happy i could somehow help to help you feel even a tiny bit better and hope you're doing well now,too(and it's ok to not rest on your day off but it's also ok to do so if that's what you feel is right for you atm!).about the mf(ilm), i thought the same thing, it felt like a parallel universe type of story!i also really love plotlines about friendship, (again cont.i'll try to be briefer!)

(i’m so sorry i wrote a rly long reply so i’m gonna put this under read more !!)

2. friendship is beautiful and i feel oftentimes underappreciated(but not mx!there they go again being amazing) so i love the concept. personally i like not knowing what exactly the producers were thinking because having my own interpretation of something and seeing other ppl have their own fills me with wonder,like,that's art!so many people think so many different things and no one's wrong i love it!!your thoughts about them appreciating everything they've done so far,you're absolutely right(cont) 3. i hope they are able to bc everything's so hectic for the.i get lost just looking at their official schedule,i don't know how they do it but i also hope they are aware of all these things bc those are all mindblowingly huge accomplishments in my opinion and i just want them to feel like their hard work is worth it,yknow?(is this comprehensible?)and i know they feel pressure because as you said the business is nasty but yea i hope at the end of the day they can feel like (cont.???again 4. everything they've put so much of themselves into is worth it,i love their energy and fierce determination and i just don't want them to lose it but maybe as you said feel less pressured..but then the only way would realistically be to make sure they get awarded in the Real World so we're all doing our best in the system&hating it as you said:/ they just mean so much to so many people i want them to feel that too!i try to contain myself but here i go again! sorry it's so long AND i have more(con 5. also!thank you for your big reply and sharing your thoughts i mostly just agreed with (but you're right so what else can i do),i don't have mbb friends to vent to and fanperson(is there a gender neutral term for fanboy/fangirl?) over mx with and this is really nice and fulfilling(again,if i'm boring you,you can just delete the messages and not reply!) so THANKS!it's great to strive to be a better person but i feel like one(you) should also acknowledge the good things they're already doing(cont?) 6. you showed such pure kindness and really melted someone's(my) heart and that's a Big Deal!djkghddgwe can agree that we both inspired each other :') also please i feel like you're such a wonderful soul and you really deserve every bit of gratitude and appreciation i managed to express(i feel a lot moreprobably) so!yeah!reminder that you're lovely and deserve to be appreciated and i'm also very,very happy you're here!you made my day brighter for the 2nd time now wow!thanks! i hope you and(cont.:() 7. your gorgeous heart are taking good care and enjoying your day/night! and this cb!i really like it i haven't had time to listen to the entire album but jealousy!is a bop honestly it's my type of jam and the choreo is stunning and so are their voices!iwas so skeptical about the lyrics(they could've been like hero or stuck and those made me a bit >:/ honestly) but i really should've known they wouldn't fail me in any way ever!i can't wait to hear the rest of the songs i hope you enjoy them too!bye

hi theory anon, it's nice to hear from u again ! firstly, i am so sorry for the slow reply to this ! but im rly glad to know that u are doing good :-) i'm doing ok too thank u !! how are u ? kfjjfdsjfdf sorry that u had to read my tags but thank u for saying that !! i just feel so guilty when i do nothing bc im absolutely terrified of time passing too quickly ? just the thought of letting a few minutes go to waste is overwhelming ? even though i know it's not rational to think like this but ??? theres just this constant feeling that im running out of time so i try to get rid of it by always doing smth ?? and feel bad when i dont ? idk ?? but anyway im working on it and ill be ok ! sorry..not to be dramatic and tmi and all that kjdfdj istg this blog gives me too much freedom to say...too much :( (hope the internet folks that collect metadata never read the garbage i write bc..yikes they aren't gonna hav the best time) anyway..yea. what a paragraph to start off this reply :( sorry for the honesty and saying so much all the time btw :( not that being honest is necessarily a bad thing but ! idk every time i write smth i suddenly feel extra self conscious and feel like deleting it bc im rly embarrassed and always end up having big regret later when i reread anything ive typed up !! but i just keep writing them anyway bc...idk ?? i'd rly hate it if someone got discouraged from sharing their thoughts/worries/feelings which i think is a rly important human thing :( so  yea im rly embarrassed w anything i write but i'll keep doing it anyway bc i'm all for that kind of stuff and sometimes i know its not easy and it takes someone a lot to share that and its a good thing and i dont ever want anyone to feel discouraged from doing that ! anyway i just felt like i rly needed to say all of this..but pls dont feel obliged to reply to this mess !! anyway back to mx ! you are right :( i also hope mx feel like what they've done is worth smth w/e their definition or standard of that is :( like.. all of the hard work they've put into being mx it certainly means so much to fans but i hope all the hard work they've put into being mx also means smth to them at the end of the day and they are happy w what they're doing and what they've achieved so far :( and yes we'd love mx to always be rewarded in the real world :( though we love them and we want to get them a win, i know that everyone has their commitments, means and different circumstances and we can only do so much :( but even if u think its just a small contribution, everything adds up and counts and i know that all mbb hav contributed in some way in helping them get another win for this cb ! there are some mbb who can't buy albums or streaming passes and things and i hope they don't feel bad for this :( even if all you can do is watch the mv once or twice, even if you could only vote, i hope you know that it all counts and matters !! abt mx's schedule, i get tired just by looking at their weekly one idk how they can even put up w it all ?? after this they'll hav their japanese album and things and then they'll have their concerts and on top of all that apparently [some of them are also studying] ????? they are so hardworking :( HOW do they do it !! just..thinking abt their schedule is overwhelming !!! also pls dont think that you're boring me or anything like that :( im so thankful for any msg i receive and the fact that u actually took the time to type out smth to send to me ?? im so grateful ?? u are never boring !! honestly even if u sent me a stainless steel dishwasher manual w the page length of like..23 bibles, i'd still love u for it and i'd prob read all of it :( btw thank u sm for saying all those kind things !!! receiving kindness for the 3rd time is rly !!!!!!! and once again i've done nothing to deserve it :( i dont even know what i can say to you that will ever be enough to thank u again or to top what u hav already said ! if there was like a...maslows hierarchy of kindness of smth, ur at the very top of that triangle and anything i say will never be as kind as what you have said !! for you, i can agree that we both inspired each other :-) but really thank u so much from the bottom of my heart :( i hope you know how kind and lovely u are too ! if nobody told u this today, i wanted to say that im rly grateful to know u and i'm happy that you're here !! thank u again for being so kind and thoughtful and for making me smile !! :( same, i havent properly listened to the whole album either bc ive just been letting it stream in the background (but i dont count that as a proper listen unless i listen w headphones tbh) ill give it a good listen one day ! also im a repeat 1 kind of garbage person until i feel the need to listen to a new song ?? and rn jealousy to me is a song that gets better w every listen ??? shes too powerful atm :( one day ill listen to another song but today is not that day ! Actually.....I think jealousy is my fav mx song ???? before this cb i didnt hav a fav bc i couldnt pick the song i liked most out of blue moon/blind/fighter/incomparable. i was just gonna base it off the one w the most play count out of those 4 but now i know its jealousy ! what are ur fav mx songs ?? btw i know im always saying that anything mx releases is always a masterpiece no matter what, but in all seriousness its ok if u didn't like smth they released. i don't think it makes u any less of a mbb if u didn't enjoy a certain release or if u only liked one aspect of a thing but not so much the rest of the thing. anyway not to sound so...stale and commonplace but for lack of a better word/sentence, at the end of the day your own reactions and feelings to a piece of art like music...it's all just subjective isnt it ?? not liking that thing doesnt mean that its not a masterpiece or its any less of a masterpiece to someone else either so !! it's ok !! anyway this is rly....ive written a lot and its all over the place and incoherent probably :( i'm sorry !! feel free to reply whenever u feel like it, or no pressure on never replying at all btw ! also feel free to disagree w anything i say ! thank u sm for talking to me abt mx bc ive also got no mbb friends so !!! thank you :( theres so many times where i rly want to start a conversation w someone but im too scared and also i've got no clue abt how to initiate conversation ! and the times when i do manage to...i get stuck on how to keep the conversation going ? but when i figure smth out then im coming for u @ friendship !! i hope u had a good weekend and that you got some rest and that ur doing ok wherever u are !! until next time, take care ❤️❤️❤️