#you dont get to decide that i boil down to my WORST 3 weeks. when i would bleed for that job.

[todancealongthelightofday]

Well.

It's official. I’m off facebook. I had to. I can't continue to hurt myself obsessing over what you're doing and what people are saying about me. I can't be worried about every post I make and who may get upset or how much of my personal life I accidentally reveal. I'm struggling with myself to not give into the temptation of being petty. I want to show every single one of those girls you added this week all of the screenshots I have of you being the absolute worst. I want to tell your family that you never “went so hard” on me because I was “pulling some shit”. that never happened and you know it. You sit alone, bored, with a dry phone and so you decide to “miss me” and apologize and make all these promises that things will be different. The same promises that ive heard 1000 times already. Nothing was ever different. Just last night, when you accused me of so many things, you yourself were lying to me. Your snap count keeps going up, yet you yell at me that you're not talking to anyone and you'll delete snapchat. Why would it matter if you deleted it anyway? you just redownload it when I'm not around, just like you always have. Thats the thing. The trust is gone. You've used it up. You've taken every bit of trust I have and shattered it. I can't even go to my hometown anymore because I don't know who I can trust. Who you've poisoned. I know you're not telling anyone what really happened. I assume you're spinning a narrative along the lines of “she couldn't handle me being gone all the time and she was being a bitch so we broke up” instead of “I was unfaithful the entire relationship because I have a sex addiction, but I stopped wanting sex with her a long time ago. I also stopped loving her the way she craved to be loved. I stopped kissing her. I stopped calling her beautiful. I stopped enjoying her company on the couch for a lazy movie day. I stopped appreciating her as she held down the fort while I went away for work and flirted and partied and ignored her. While I was gone, she was at work or at home. She was paying bills and calling plumbers and yard workers, and getting estimates on fence work and painters and floor replacements. She was cooking and cleaning and caring for our dogs. She was allowing others to stay in the house because they fell on hard times. She was rehabbing baby animals and getting broken glass doors replaced. She was doing everything she could to bring light and happiness to everyone (and every animal) she could. And she was doing it all while being neglected. Doing it all for me while I was going out and disrespecting her and our commitment.” I know thats not what you're telling them, but thats the story id really like people to know. I want them to know that I cried myself to sleep every night that I would call you before bed, after not talking to you all day, and you “had nothing to say. I just worked all day. I'm tired. goodnight”. I would cry on the bathroom floor when you would come home after 3 months and never kiss me or hug me. just walk past me and ask “who's coming over tonight? lets cook!”. I would spend hours steaming floors and dusting fans and washing blankets and shampooing carpets and then I would shower and dress up and do my makeup and wear my best outfit down to the panties, and you would just come home, have people over, get sloppy drunk, and pass out, leaving me to host until everyone left, clean the mess that 10 drunk people and a bbq is bound to leave, then crawl into bed at 4 AM. Then I would get up at 6:30 to start the morning routine. Dogs out. Feed cats. Let dogs in and feed them. Feed the fish and the tortoise. Let the dogs out again. Switch the laundry, unload the dishwasher. You would just lay in bed all day. If you got up, it was probably 2 or 3 in the afternoon and you'd sit on the couch and watch tv while I did your laundry and whatever other things needed to be done that day. I would beg you to come with me for Tyson’s vet appointment, and of course you'd say no. I’d tell you my family was having a crawfish boil and you'd say you were too tired or “dont feel like being around people”. But thats not true, was it. You just didn't want to be around those people. You were always ready to go to bars and drink and ignore me. thats the people you like. the ones that don't know you and that assume you're single because you haven't touched me or kissed me or danced with me once all night. But oh... if Claire wants to dance or if a guy starts talking to Leah, you're on that shit. Cant let YOUR eye candy get taken by some guy at a bar. Yet I was forced to break a mans nose. I was forced to defend myself, because when he disrespected me, you where nowhere to be found. Probably watching some girl, too distracted to know that a man was trying to hurt me. But doing worry. I dealt with it. Im stronger than you think. I made it through all that. I made it through so many nights of hating myself and questioning what I did wrong and why I wasn't good enough. What I could do to be good enough for you. I didn't leave when you invited Linzy to sleep in your bed and stoped coming visit because she would be bored alone if you left. I didn't leave when your snapchat was all women that you would snap all day long and never save anything so I could never see it. I didn't leave when you fixated on the idea of Sadie showing her tits in new Orleans while I stood right in front of you. I also didn't leave when, that same night, you “jokingly” grabbed at her chest and when we went home, your phone “accidentally got left in the bathroom standing up in a strange place and took pictures of her in the shower”. I didn't leave. I stayed and I believed you because for a day or two after an incident you would love me again. you would kiss me and hug me and have sex with me. Then as soon as I believed you, it would stop and you'd go back to your fuck boy shit. You'd go back to “being so tired” that you couldn't call me before bed but you had time to talk to Claire and invite her to your hotel room. You couldn't be bothered to give me the attention I had been begging for, but you could find time to snapchat my sister and “dare her to flash you as a joke”. Or what about the time you “accidentally” sent her a snap of your dick in the shower?! I am so angry and so hurt. Honestly I don't even remember what the point of this post was. Its gone from having a purpose to the words jus falling out of my heart and into my keyboard. I know I made the right choice. I saw something earlier that said “Sometimes you have to break your heart to find your peace” and honestly that is what im doing. Im so hurt and so scared and I feel small and lost, but after typing all these things, I remember why I left you. I know these negative feelings will pass and my life will get back on track and ill be happy and I know that one day I will find a man that knows how to love. A man that knows how broken I am and the trauma that iv gone through and he just supports me and loves me the way I've always wanted. So im deleting facebook so that I am no longer hurt by all the lies you're spreading and all the women you're fucking. Im choosing to fix me. I am choosing to stand myself up and climb out of this rubble and keep moving forward. Im choosing to start putting myself back together so that when that man finds me, im ready to let him hold me. Also, sorry to anyone that gets stuck reading this. It is word vomit on a page and I apologize for my shit writing and rambling. I just kinda let myself type whatever came out. This is my life. this is me. Well. its at least the tip of the iceberg of the hot mess that is me. 

[big-meows]

Borderlands 3 final thoughts

disclaimers:

Fuck randy pitchford. I mean, obviously i feel like that goes without saying, yes I bought the game, i like the series and sometimes a bitch just wants to sink 70+ hours into a hyper-violent but ultimately goofy, non-threatening video game in a stressful time, sue me.

to that end, yes I played on easy. I also played solo. 

i play for fun and i dont fuck with build culture or w/e. i picked moze because i know her VA personally, and that was my only deciding factor.

I play on the ps4 so frankly i have no horse in the epic/steam debacle. I dont really care.

i didnt play bl1 but ive played the others.

spoilers. all the spoilers.

Anthony burch deserved better. I cant believe i have to see “at least im not anthony burch” in the year of our lord 2019 but its still happening out there. He deserved better, and this game is proof. maybe bl2 was “memey,” but it had a solid foundation and a great villain. TPS was also good, i think, honestly i only played it once and I dont remember it super well. Tales is the best in the franchise, and yes it counts, shut up. Burch’s absence is felt here. the story is weak, the villains are flat, and everything is written with the energy of a man who thinks everything that comes out of his mouth is fucking hysterical. like, im not even mad at “big dock energy” or the other stupid, already dated goofs, Im mad that every NPC was painful to listen to, or that rhys, arguably one of the most developed characters in the BL universe by virtue of the game he came from, was 90% mustache jokes. All these characters are like the versions that come out of fandom a year later, flanderized and already boiled down to their one token joke and repeated forever and eternity. You just met Lorelei and she seems cool, but man she REALLY NEEDS HER COFFEE AND IT IS HER ONLY DEFINING PERSONALITY TRAIT LOL!!!

Vaughn is The WORST, BRO

i dont think anyone really grows imo. Im particularly irritated by ava, who i very much want to like! but she has like three stock phrases she uses throughout the entire game, so after maya gets evaporated, you go talk to her and shes like “WOW this ship is cool, so much shit to steal!” like, you couldnt program her to sulk or not want to see anyone for a while? come on.

influencers as villains could have been really powerful if it had been introduced gradually, but mostly it was just obnoxious and too on the nose. troy and tyreen were very hollow. you get brief glimpses of humanity in them, but they’re so rare it almost feel like an accident. You get one(?) mention of their childhood before you finally stumble fully into the plot in the last few hours of the game. troy’s “betrayal” could be spotted a mile away despite it being hardly developed. I honestly dont even know if they loved each other or not? Was tyreen hurt by troy’s betrayal and subsequent demise? did troy look up to her and want to be her equal, or did he want out from under her shadow? i dont know. did i miss those echo logs? should the majority of the lore in a game be MISSABLE?

jack tracked well as a villain because you, over time, learned exactly how awful he was beyond “cocky corporate asshole who wants you dead” re: angel being his daughter. the twins are just....flatline obnoxious the whole way through.

sucks to be leda, apparently extremely badass but ultimately an afterthought who lives and dies offscreen only in recollections of the past.

sucks even worse to be fiona. i can tell you right now i wont be fucking with DLC unless it brings back fiona.

hammerlock saved this fucking game, he brings a certain dignity to the table that really helped level the tone after the rhys-katagawa stuff. Eden-6 was actually my favorite section of the game. loved hammerlock, loved jakobs, loved clay, and LOVED the jakobs estate. dunno why?? maybe because that level had me thinking “i could almost pretend im playing bioshock rn”

my GF absolutely hates the new claptrap. she’s right though. a claptrap that experiences emotions outside of “delusional exuberance” isnt actually claptrap

can my boy mordecai catch one single fucking break

is the vault hunter ever actually there? its really distracting how they’re never actually involved in cut scenes.

zer0 was too chatty. kind of kills the air of mystery.

gripes aside, i DID clock like 76 hours as moze, and i will probably continue to fuck around in it post game to clean up some extra stuff. might even start a zane of fl4k. the reviews promised it would be “more borderlands, nothing special” and thats what we got. it came at a time when i needed to remove myself from social media for a few weeks and lose myself in something mindless and violent, and it provided me with exactly that. its not elevated from BL2/TPS at all. the only improvement i can think of off the top of my head is being able to change quest objectives without entering a menu (thank god). it falls short in a series that always kind of had a low bar to begin with. disappointed but not surprised. i knew burch and eddings were both gone and that their absence would be felt. but i wanted to be gay and do crime anyway. so. you know. whatever. i got approximately what i paid for.

[hugsfromdad]

Hey kids,

How is everyone?

It's been a long time since I've done a check-in post and I've recently been feeling a real need to reconnect with all of you on here.

TLDR: my life is really busy and crazy and theater hasn't been good for me but I'm surviving. I miss y'all sm and want to hear from you. Whether it's anon, message, comment, or reblog. I have next to no freetime rn, but i really want to reconnect and am gonna try my best to be present on here more.💗

My life update: I've been so enjoying not being on instagram and just focusing on myself, healing and growing, and the few real relationships I have outside of social media. However, it's been hard cause I realized just how few close friends i actually have and the desperate need I have for friends who live nearby me. My two current best friends live 3.5 hours away, and in Colorado... So not someone i can hit up to have supper with and get a hug from when im having a tough day. And ive been having quite a few of those recently.

Joining theater has been...an experience. My mum has helped me to realize that i joined this production with expectations of making new friends.... Those expectations, as low as i thought they were, were wrong. It's like being in a ridiculously intense class with kids who already all know each other. It's not a clique, and I'm not being excluded, but it's like trying to break into a world where i dont even speak their language, and I'm still deciding if i really even want to.

I've been spending 3-4 days a week, 3hrs+ (sometimes 10hrs) per day with these people, for now 2 months--and I still dont know more than 3ish facts about the majority of them. A couple of them i have been able to get closer to-- but only because I found a time outside of practice hours to get to know them.

This has been really difficult for me. A lot about this situation is triggering for me and bringing me back to my bad years when I knew and spent time with a lot of people, but felt really alone and had no friends... So, it gets kind of scary when im already having a bad day and i go to practice. I have to be really careful and intentional of staying on the road when I drive home because my suicidalness kicks back in real strong...yeah, it's that bad. But I'm being careful and open with my mum and therapist about this all.

On good days, I kind of maybe consider doing this again. But in actuality... I dont want to. I'm not really having fun and I don't want to put myself through this again. I dont have a passion for this and I would need some really good, close (location-wise and friendship-wise) friends in my life, and in theater, to be able to enjoy doing this again.

So yeah... That's THAT whole situation. I'm counting the days til it's over... 20. Closing night is on my birthday... Best present I could get. I really just want to have my life back from this. And i hate that I'm good at it and so the people there assume im having fun and gonna want to do this again.. And, worst of all assumptions; that im carefree and happy-- lol.

So thats pretty unfortunate, but I'm at least getting another really good learning experience, and I cannot tell yall how fucking proud of myself i am for doing this. This is a big deal and I threw myself in the deep end and it turns out im actually good at swimming--even if I dont like it.

When it comes to my personal life (what's that?) It boils down to: I need friends. I'm trying to find people close in location to me... But, because my soul is currently owned by the theater, I cant do much at all. I am trying tho.

I tried a few dating apps... Oof. Ew no. I hate dating apps and I hated every moment on there. Not finding people really and its pretty sucky, but my therapist keeps reminding me that it's not me, it's my difficult situations throughout life that's kept me from finding people to date. There was one person I matched with who I was talking to for a bit, but then they havent replied to me for 2 days now, so im hoping everything is okay, but I'm kinda used to being ghosted at this point. Ill finding someone tho. Its gotta happen.

I'm pursuing my transition more-- hopefully I'll be starting testosterone soon and I'm looking into surgeons now and saving my money with a mindset towards top surgery within a year... We'll see. But its super exciting. My theater director (who is really bipolar and freaks me out some, but seems to adore me) put a stubble beard on me with makeup yesterday cause I had mentioned wanting a beard once i got on testosterone. It nearly made me cry and I couldnt stop smiling. I wore it home and hated taking it off before bed. I really really want a beard and im so fucking close, it's giving me strength.

My music and writing and painting and all other things have come to a screeching halt since starting theater, but i have a ton of inspiration that's built up over the past couple months that I'm super excited to unleash it the moment I'm free of this commitment. Im already working on a musical about this whole experience joining theater that I think would be really good. And I really want to finish my books and get them out there. We shall see what happens.

I love you all so much and my heart constantly goes out to you all and all of your experiences and struggles. I want to be here with you and laugh and cry, morn and celebrate together. Hopefully more of the good, tho.

Please feel free to reach out to me, even though I haven't been active at all on here. Message/anon me about your life, or questions, updates, celebrations, jokes, good pickup lines for me to use on my best friend as soon as his cruise is over and I can spam him again (holy shit I miss him so much @jamesboii please come home soon). Or like just reach out and say hello-- it might take me a day to reply, but i will.

Love y'all so much, sorry for this long blurp about my life. But i just wanted to post something and try to reconnect.

What do y'all want to see me posting? Im down to try new things. ✌

Sending hugs and love,

💕-dad

[lostinatrainofthoughts]

To my baby mission

Mission, it’s been an hour since you left. I rushed to shower and seeing you with your head tilted on that purple mat, i told you repeatedly “sabar mission, tahan skjap, nunun bagi makan kjap”. I looked at you and my heart felt heavy. i dont know what the feeling was back then but i just didnt feel so good. i wondered if i should give you your glucose water first then leave to shower. but i was on my period so i had to go shower, i decided. 

I was in the midst of showering and left the stove on to boil pumpkin which was the only food you could consume in your diet. It was not long after that i heard obeng scream. i wasnt sure if i heard it right, so i kept flossing. another. i knew i had to go down. obeng wailed and she screamed and mama was screaming back at obeng to stop shouting. i shouted back at mama telling her to stop yelling and  told obeng to lower down her voice. mission, i love you. i will continue to love you and i hope to remember you forever.

your original name was mitsu, meaning........ shine in japanese, you have 4 brothers: three of you triplets (mika and mizu), and a younger brother (Muji) - he’s not here anymore either. you and your brothers were the weirdest bunch, mama didnt like all your tails bcuz it was folded - she had a thing for straight tail cats. but your rounded tail became a trait we love about you so much. your tail would always mengait other stuff like my charger, or sandals. it was powerful and could flick anything and hit the floor like a dog wagging their tail. you reminded me of a dog, bcuz you had long ears, big feet. you also reminded me of a monkey becuz you had that white thing on your head. you reminded me of a lion, becus you had a big nose. 

you were loving when the new batch of kittens showed up (i forgot about this until obeng showed a picture of you sleeping with baby johnny). you looked like an anime cat. just like burai. 

as you grew older, you were the most most most fiesty cat! loving to humans, but a fighter to other cats. you couldnt stand looking at a cat and your head will automatically tilt to the side and you would be in fight mode. you were loving to your brothers though, only sometimes you would fight if you guys got inside the house... weird. 

then the worst happened. last year in dec, your stomach looked bloated and you got really sick and yellow. we brought u to the vet and they said you had fluid in your liver? they injected you twice and nothing came out. you were so patient. during the car rides, and when being examined by the vets. the vets were amazed by you as well because you were so obedient and ur butt would always rise up to the air if you were stroked. they said it would be reoccuring and you had 50/50 chance to live. seeing you get poked, and them saying that, i cried. i couldnt imagine the triplets to be just... twins. the idea scared me, mission. the fluid drained to your testes and it expanded. they said it was a tumour? we had to go back to the vet like 4 times almost each week? for review bcuz you werent fit enough for surgery. then finally after we got back from our holiday, they set an appointment date for january i think or was it late december? you had to also wear that big helmet bcuz you kept liking your balls and your fur was a mess. we made fun of you bobbing your head and eating in weird positions. you were fine after. 

2 weeks ago, you got sick again. fever, we brought you to the vet. they said why was he not being reviewed after castration? i said we werent told. you had pus on your balls. you were in pain. then you had to go for a blood test which was $120. low Hb, high WBC etc. anemic. they had to use a needle on you again, yet you were patient as if it didnt hurt. you were so strong mission. you were fine after, for like a week, then you got fever again. it was 2 days after we stopped giving pumpkin.3 days we forced fed you and today we brught you tot he vet. i was at school, but kaka and obeng went and the dr said you were fine. more meds. i was relieved. you could make it. youre so strong. just later that night it somehow took a turn for the worst. 

mission, im so sorry. im sorry as much as i can be. as much as the world’s ability to occupy many things. i love you and i cant believe you held out for the longest time. 

Mission was so weird bcuz he liked bread and egg . he liked tuna which is something he couldnt eat. bcuz protein. he could eat 2 slices of bread himselft. he didnt chew it but he licked it. the sound of plastic triggered his appetitie and he meowed almost every second of the day. he was so lving and he had a specialised box where he slept. he slept almost every where else though. he was so big and muscly, bcuz he got sick, he became just long and skinny. its so sad to think about. i will try to think about happy things. but its so hard bcuz those happy things are just memories now. you were called mission through out your life becus when you were little your meow sounded like a radio transmission, so thats how the name transmission came about. you dont meow like that anymore though. i forgot how your meow sounded like before. you meh meh all the time too. mission, i love you so so much baby im sorry i didnt/ couldnt help as much as i should have. please please forgive me and pls have us in your memories. i hope to see you again soon bread boy. i hope your ok now. and happy in heaven i love you very much. please know that :( im so sad. i love you.

[paradox-oflife]

MASSIVE q and a post pt 2 dont mind me

 part 2 of the q and a sessions I have to do for class. feel free to steal

1. What do you typically have for breakfast? Bread or cereal

2. Do you like scary movies? Only if I’m watching them with friends.

3. Whats your favourite Milkshake flavour? Vanilla/oreo or something like that. Actually, strawberry and mango is really good.

4. Have you ever been in a newspaper? My school was one time, but not me personally.

5. How long can you balance on one foot? Pretty long. I don’t know, but pretty long.

6. Have you ever fired a gun? No and I hope I don’t have to. 

7. Have you ever tried archery? Yeah. Much harder than it looks.

8. Whats your favourite condement? Ketchup. Mayo only for some sandwiches.

9. Whats your favourite clean word? Catharsis

10. Whats your favourite swear word? I used to swear a lot but I dropped the habit.  “Shit.” But I mainly say “Bugger” lol.

11. Whats your least favourite word? I am so sorry but I HATE it when people call their husbands “Hubby”. I just can’t I’m sorry.

12. What was the last film you saw? Gladiator (2000). Iconic.

13. What football team do you support? Um. Idk. 49ers? But of course, I live in the Bay Area so.

14. Whats the longest you've gone without sleep? 28 hours. At the 20 hour point I felt like I was in a weird fever dream.

15. Whats the tallest building you've ever been up? Taipei 101.

16. Do you have any scars? Yeah. Fell from my bike when I was like, eleven. I got a big scratch near my eye. Had to get stitches >:(. I also got scratched by a cat and it looks like a self harm scar. It’s not, I promise

17. Do you like marmite? EW EW EW NO

18. Did you ever win any sportsday events? Powderpuff if it counts!

19. What did you want to be when you grew up? I had to think about this recently. I always wanted to be a vet when i grew up. But it’s hella competitive. Also my colorblindness (blue-green) really screws things up sometimes. So I decided to abandon the dream and do Physical Therapy lol.

20. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be? A lot of things actually. But maybe having ADHD? But I also really want to not be colorblind.

21. Whats the longest you've ever grown your hair? The longest was to lower half of my back.

22. Are you scared of flying? Airplanes - no. Skydiving - yes.

23. Would you rather trade some intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? I’m very average looking, which is subjective. But I think I’m okay. I’d want more intelligence.

24. Have you ever tie-dyed your own clothes? Haha yeah in a summer camp for 3rd grade.

25. How often do you buy new clothes? Only if I have to, or I really want to. Like I mainly wear graphic T-shirts and I really want to get a Stardew Valley shirt.

26. Are you reliable? Depends on what. Reliable for secrets and stuff like that? Yeah, totally. Reliable in terms of work stuff. Mm debatable.

27. Are you proud of yourself? I can recognize good qualities about myself. I’ve been through a lot. I’m still doing alright! So Yeah, I get a gold star for being alive.

28. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Yes this is lowkey embarrassing but... in 10th grade, this girl came up to me and asked me out. And I’m straight. It was SO awkward I had to reject her AAAAH. I said something like, “Oh... haha... um. I’m flattered but I don’t... swing that way.” god im cringing.

29. If you could ask your future self one question what would it be? Probably like. “Are you doing well” or “Are you happy”

30. Do you hold grudges? Nah. I probably am too chill with things sometimes.

31. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature what new animal would you create? A dog/bird hybrid. Best case scenario, I’ll get a dog with wings. Worst case I’ll get a duck with paws or something.

32. Do you decorate the outside of your house for christmas? Nope.

33. Can you solve sudoko puzzles? Yeah but it takes me SO LONG.

34. Have you ever played conkers? (Whoever wrote this template must be british) Nope.

35. Whats the most unusual conversation you've ever had? It digressed from politics to philosophy to weird things like are monkeys capable of thought. It was one of the best convos I ever had.

36. Are you much of a gambler? No I’m way too indecisive. So naturally I suck at Fire Emblem lol.

37. Are you much of a daredevil? Nah. I’m a coward.

38. Are you a good liar? Only for small stuff. I try not to lie.

39. Are you a good judge of character? Pretty decent.

40. Are you any good at charades? Yikes not really.

41. How long could you go without talking? One day. Two days at most.

42. What has been your worst haircut/style? My little kid bowlcut every asian gets when they’re a baby.

43. Can you iceskate? Yeah, but I haven’t done it in a long time.

44. Can you summersault? Yeah, it’s a bit scary ngl.

45. Whats your favourite joke? THERES TOO MANY DAMN IT.

46. Whats been your best present? A heartfelt card from my friend for my birthday. I’ll take that over anything.

47. Whats been your worst present? One Ferrero Rocher.

48. Have you ever sleepwalked? No.

49. Can you build a house of cards? Nope.

50. Whats your favourite TV advert? The Gorilla Glue advertisements are SO FUNNy

51. Can you play poker? Never tried before

52. If your parents hated your partner you currently loved would you ditch him or carry on with him despite the protests? I would probably carry on. Cause I mean, what can they really do?

53. Have you ever been professionally photographed? Nah. I am not photogenic lmao. 

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? One time and it turned out horribly.

55. Whats your favourite pastel colour? I really like the blue one.

56. What traditionally adorns the top of your christmas tree? My family and I don’t celebrate Christmas.

57. What would be your dream sandwich? Turkey, lettuce, cheddar, butter, baguette bread. Lee’s Sandwich combo #1 is SUPER good.

58. Can you inpersonate anyone famous? Not well lol.

59. Can you do any accents other than your own? American southern, New Zealand, Australian, the Received pronunciation British. I can kind of do Scottish.

60. Do you have a strong local accent? I have this weird mix of the general American accent and New Zealand. By that I mean I sound pretty American until words like “seven, definitely, yeah, bro, pro”

61. Whats your favourite accent? For listening: Australian. To talk in, Scottish.

62. In Tic-Tac-Toe which do you normally pick? X

63. Do you prefer blue or black inked pens? I have a hard time distinguishing between the two.

64. What was the last thing you recorded off TV? I don’t actually record shows on TV. Never figured out how to.

65. What was the last thing you dressed up as for fancy dress? Church. Well, it’s not that fancy. My last actual fancy one was for a wedding.

66. Do you prefer green or red grapes? Green.

67. What do you like on your toast? Butter or jam.

68. Do you prefer liquid soap or bars of soap? Liquid. Easier to deal with.

69. How do you have your eggs? Sunny side up or scrambled. Or boiled/soft boiled.

70. Whats your favourite saying? I have a lot. I really like saying, “Pass the bread, here comes the bologna.”

71.Have you ever been in a tug of war? and did you win? Yup! I won. I fell so hard on my back but I won.

72. Can you stand on your hands unassisted? Nope.

73. What do you have on your fridge door? Some goofy magnets.

74. Do you love or hate myspace? I only used it once. And never again.

75. Who was the last person to knock/ring at your door? My dad’s uncle who was visiting.

76. How old were you when you last went trick or treating? Nine years old.

77. Have you ever been bobbing for apples? No lmao I’ve actually never seen anyone do that in real life.

78. Whats your most expensive piece of clothing? Hoodie. Man, do they cost a lot sometimes.

79. Whats the last thing you took a picture of? A meme from reddit.

80. Whats the last thing you drew a picture of? A MF Doom mask

81. Have you ever bought anything from ebay? No.

82. Whats your favourite smell/scent? Bread baking in the oven.

83. Can you blow bubbles with bubblegum? No, never been successful.

84. What was your favourite birthday? My fourteenth birthday. Lots of things happened. Can’t begin to explain it.

85. Can you curl your tounge? Yeah

86. Is your bellybutton an innie or outie? Innie

87. What would be your dream car? I literally don’t care. Toyata, Honda. Whatever.

88. Are you left or right handed? Right handed, but I can kind of write in left hand.

89. What was the last book you read? Joy Luck Club

90. What was the last song you danced to? Uuuuh, more of a head bang but I was BOPPING to Jimi Hendrix.

91. Have you ever owned a yo-yo? Yeah and I broke it in five minutes.

92. Have you ever been on a pogo stick? No that looks so scary

93. Have you ever been on a space hopper? Had to search this up - Been on something similar.

94. Who was the last person to send you a text message? My brother

95. Have you ever accidentally injured anyone? Omg yeah it wasn’t serious but I felt so guilty. I did fencing a while ago and I lunged and stabbed the mate right in the balls.

96. Are you scared of spiders? Yes

97. Can you down a pint (of anything) in one? Ive done it with water and I felt like dying.

98. Have you ever been banned from a public place? Nah

99. How much spam email do you tend to get a week? Dunno, I send it to a separate email that I never check.

[glamurosa247]

INFJ bad habits

answer as to why i think they are not bad

Culled from the INFJ Hate thread at Typology Central and the What do you hate about INFJs? thread at the16types.  

The Darker/Annoying Aspects of Being INFJ.

Things others dislike about INFJs.  Do any of the following apply to you?:

1.How sensitive INFjs are to criticism. ( who isn't)🤔

2.No matter how well you defeat their line of reasoning or logic, they still refuse to concede defeat due to how “good” or “ethical” their ideas are. ( I stand by what i believe why is this a bad thing)😌

3.To many INFjs I’ve argued with, their argument essentially boils down to whether it is “good or bad” and it is right “just because.”( not all of us are this in inflexible with age come wisdom )😊

4.The only down side to INFJ is their tendency to worry over little unimportant details and need to talk endlessly about it when stressed. (😟Yes this suck but we only do it if we care if we don't care then you are on your own)

5.They wall off part of themselves and often don’t let you in, even if you’re trustworthy and know you wouldn’t hurt them.If you hurt them too many times, you might as well slit your own throat — you probably won’t be forgiven. ( yes this is me only after i have put up with your shit for a long time😣 take me a will to get there)

6.They can take things very very personally — “cold-hearted bastard” and “ice queen” are probably apt descriptions if you make them mad, again you might as well just kill yourself now before they get their hands on you and enjoy watching you die. (💀Muwahahahahahahahaha yes we do take thing personal but only from those we care about stranges dont matter. we will not hurt you if we love you but we will destroy you if we think is necessary ☠)

Ambiguity can make them very unhappy. (We don't like uncertainty we like to know there is a end game😐 )

Sometimes they take things too seriously that they know were meant in jest, but since it’s serious to them, well, that’s how they approach it. (Yep😤😢😖 )

INFJ’s totally freak out when their plans go awry, even if the change seems insignificant to everyone else. (I get mad yes but i get over it fast too😤😔🤔😁)

Sometimes they can disclose too much, thus making people think they’re their new BFF.(yes we can but it just so the other person will feel comfortable and open up to us wish is what we wanted all along😁🤣🙃🤔😎)

Realising that they’ve said too much once people latch onto them and they suddenly don’t like the attention…well don’t fucking reach out so easily, then!(it not that we dont want the attention you get it wrong we just realize that you dont have what we are looking for so we pull away but still try to be supportive in some way😕😔👦🏾🤗👧🏽📞)

Trying to perfect themselves.( it call growth who want to remain the same📖📈📖)

Thinking they can be perfect.( We don't think we are prefect we try to be with stress us out 😵😟.)

Taking forever to do some things b/c they keep editing or working it over until it’s just “right”.( We like to put our best foot forward i think every one should take note👩🏽‍🎨)

Looking mean when they aren’t, or are just thinking deeply, so they confuse people who are afraid to approach them… Can’t they look dreamy and nice like an INFP? WTF? (I face this fact every day my resting bitch face make me hard to approach😣😶)

Sympathetic until the person actually requires some of the INFJs “social time”…INFJ runs in the other direction. (We will help once we thing you are really tell the truth)

Trapped in a dream world.INFJs enjoy too many solitary activities that keep them from forming “real” relationships. (Who can blame them people lie too much the perfore to create an day dream than to put up with your shit👩🏽‍🎨🌹🌈)

Never returns phone calls (don’t want to be bothered with people…only care about people in “theory”). (now this is just not true if they care the will call back if they dont then u are unlucky )

Build elaborate walls to keep people at arms length. (Only after you hurt us)

They get extremely moody when some “injustice” has been done unto them.(yes we do) Yet they will sometimes not look twice when an injustice has been done to someone else or they will “feel bad” but not do anything about it. (If you let us help we will but if you make it clare you dont want help we will not)

Tend to imagine the worst possible outcomes and brood over them. (Yes but as you get older you can control this better and learn to be more positive)

Extreme lack of tolerance. (We have tolerance just not for stupidity)

It’s mostly black and white and once they’ve decided, that’s it. (Yes when we are young this is true but as you get older we see more shades of grey)

Can never justify their intuition. (That why it call intuition)

This extends to immediately disliking people for reasons you’ll never fathom. (And soon after every one see why i dislike that person)

Pitifully and disgustingly emotional (here’s a tissue you gross, leaky-eyed crybabies)  (*I disagree with this one the most.)( We do have lot of emotions but it what make us who we are we feel thing that our gift)

They can sit and rant for 3hrs+ and then actually expect you to listen without getting bored and or falling asleep. (Not true we can seance when people are uncomfortable and end the conversations even if we want to continua causes we care about others)

They hold grudges for long periods of time. (Yes but only if you dont apologize)

They’ll pretend to listen and consider alternatives when in reality they’ve already made up their minds.(only if it has to do with our life )

They believe they understand you better than you understand yourself.(it not that we know you better we know what your triggers are so this pretty much let us understand you cause a triger is some thing that you do on a impulse)

INFJs can be overly cuddly AND cold/distant.And they hate the idea of being high-maintenance, but they are anyway. (This is the conflict inside in us no one is perfect )

What I hate about INFJs being one myself is that we are not nearly as kind and altruistic as you think we are, we just wear a veneer of kindness on our faces when in reality we are much cooler and much colder.Underneath all of (the) marshmallowy niceness (is) a razor edge. (Yes we have a dark side which is always present in our thought but we value the good so we will try to always do what best. dont get me wrong i have been on the bad side and truth me it bad it just left me so empty so you see it a choice we make ever day give us some credit)

I get annoyed when INFJs think about all the possibilities of a situation, all the whatifs. Then freaks out over a theoretical situation when it hasn’t even happened yet and probably won’t. (Yes we do it. it how our brains works with age comes more control there is still hope)

Try to change people toward a social ideal rather than help them grow as themselves.( I think this more a male point of view )

Seem to care more about formality than content. ie. it’s about how you ask them, not your intention.( just ask nicely that all)

Seem to read nothing between the lines (making it frustrating to explain sometimes, or find resolution in conflict situations). (Once more for a male point of view cause i I'm very good at reading in between the lines and i hate drama).

Seem to be straight forward, to the point of destroying dreams and grounding people.(some one need to do it )

Seem to think they know better about other people than those people do about themselves. (Some time we can be cocky one if the thing i dislike about being a INFJ)

Even when all evidence points to this being impossible.Will not integrate without social expectations. ie. never work into a group dynamic without trying to set it.

Focus on the negative aspects of personalities and write people off, rather than seeing the silver lining. Or else don’t see the silver lining till they change a person to their social ideal (also they believe this is beneficial to do). (Well some time it is beneficial i want the best for every one)

Believe that the mundane is wild, and walking slightly off the path is “living dangerously”.( I like routine i feel at easy but i also love me some Adventure from time to time)

Do a lot of dishing it out but take anything that comes back quite badly. (This true sad but true cause most people dont understand us and when they misinterpret thing we say )

Sometimes whatever is going on isn’t even tangentially related to them at all and they will just start on about themselves using key words they seem to have randomly selected from the other conversation…Many times a conversation about (say) floor polish will descend into a conversation about their feelings before I even know what is going on and suddenly I am shoehorned into a conversation about how someone’s dad never loved them when all I wanted was to know whether I should buy the orange scented or the lemon scented floor polish.(yes people over share with me all the time some time it annoying and some time it's the start of a new friendship)

You analyze the shit outta everything in everyone else’s lives, but in your own life it takes you weeks to figure out what you feel about things in a true sense. (Yes it truth that we do this that why we need alone time to make better boundaries)

EVERYTHING has a meaning. (Every thing those)

You have two emotions – Bliss and Depair all in different degrees. (Yes every day whold day it like a roller coaster but it what make us diffirent and capable of understand other)

Unable to take own really good advice.( we know what we have to do we just hate hurt any one in the process)

Ignores the logical decision too make an emotional driven non-logical one.( when young yes as you get older you take logica in to consideration)