#you don't need to be a lesbian to adopt a cat through me but it doesn't hurt

[sergle]

I GOT SOME CATS TO HOCK (ohio edition)

are you in/around Ohio? do you want two of the most perfect kittens in the world? do you want to do me a solid? my friend has these two kitties that she's trying to rehome, and since I've done a few Kitten Rehomings on tumblr, I would like to do it again!! INFO: - green eyes kitten's name is Emmit, blue eyes is July! (you can rename them obv though) - they're both very fluffy and in excellent health - they are extremely, extremely socialized, and they don't want to do anything except be on your face and/or body. they are bottomless pits of love and affection, motivated purely by their need to snuggle. - they love eachother, and need to be rehomed as a pair! which is a pro, not a con, imo, bc they can keep eachother company when you aren't there. if you're interested at all, or you have specific questions, you can hit me up in tumblr IMs! or if you prefer email, use my commission email: serglecommissions@gmail.com

reblogs are appreciated! :3

[neonmetro]

HAI....SO LIKE,, OPINIONS ON MAHOU SHOJO.......... PERSONALLY IM A DIE HARD FOR IT

I've been into it since I was like 5. My parents have videos of me dancing to the music of like Precure and stuff....WHICH IS LOWKEY EMBARRASSING BUT WHATEVER

Favorite Magical Girls series 👀👀

I personally REALLY like Precure, madoka magica, and card captor sakura, and tokyo mew mew ( BUT OBVIOUSLY MORE ) I WOULD LOVEEEE TO HERE YOU RANT ABOUT YOUR LOVE FOR IT 💞💞💞💞💞💞

-Paris anon

I LOVE MAHOU SHOUJO!!!!!!!!!! i have SO MANY THOUGHTS ON IT YOU HAVE NO IDEAAA!!!!

it's so good. the tropes are so funny and endearing (the running to school toast thing is the most iconic thing ever) and its SO NICE TO HAVE A BOTH EPISODIC YET CONTINUOUS STORY LINE... I LOVE MAGICAL GIRL OUTFITS ITS PEAK I FEAR

i grew up on shit like sailor moon (good lord this changed the trajectory of my life forever), kitchen princess, pichi pichi pitch mermaid melody, and shugo chara (oh my god i am obsessed with shugo chara you have no idea) so um. so far my favorite is sailor moon + shugo chara but i really have to watch utena and cardcaptor ... those will probably make it on top

SAILOR MOON'S CHARACTER DESIGN/DRESSES ARE GENUINELY SOOOO AGUGHGHGHG i love the inbetween pages for mahou shoujo especially like. naoko takeuchi's fashion sense is genuinely peak (like i said i love her dresses especially)

i don't really remember all that much about kitchen princess? but it was cute i liked the food and how much the main character liked hokkaido and flan but i also read it out of order bc UGH OTHER people want to read it TOO (art style is so cute though augh)

PICHI PICHI PITCH LEGIT SHAPED MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD EXCEPT IT WAS JUST THE FIRST VOLUME BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW PIRATING EXISTED AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO GET MORE VOLUMES SO I JUST REREAD THE FIRST VOLUME OVER AND OVER AND OVER i got the book at like a bookstore used and it was just peak to me at the time (i tried going back to it. genuinely cannot get past it now i fear)

shugo chara.

FUCK I AM SO OBSESSED WITH SHUGO CHARA THE CONCEPT OF EGGS AND HOW HAVING YOUR DREAM EGG BROKEN AND LEAVING YOU BROKEN IS SO DEVASTATING AMU IS A LITERAL 5TH GRADER AND SHE GOES THROUGH ALL THIS SHIT i love you utau peach pit cannot make me hate her. her arc of having her talent abused because she's just that desperate to save her brother is so devastating, AND TADASE. MY GOAT. MY KING. YOU CAN RULE THE WORLD I BELIEVE IN YOU SEKAII ITEEE his arc is also just so bad. his grandma dies. his dog dies. his adoptive siblings leave him. now he wants to rule the world so everyone in the world can be happy because he will carry their burdens FOR THEM FUCK ITS ALL JUST SO GOOD!!!!

its definitely one of the mangas i can actually go back on and read it it holds up so well and the art style is just so cute (they got a new reboot and it was AWESOME UNTIL THAT FUCKING CAT BOY SHOWED UP (unfortunately sometimes mahou shoujo is just connected with that cringe))

I STILL NEED TO WATCH PRECURE, CARDCAPTOR, AND TOKYO MEW MEW (shields my face as i'm getting tomatoes thrown at me) I KNOW I KNOW I'M SORRY

I DO HAVE A LOT OF PRECURE TOYS FROM WHEN MY MOM WENT TO JAPAN AND BOUGHT THEM FOR ME... plus a bunch of magazines i loved shifting through when i was a kid

i also did watch precure glitter force and that was. uh. well it was interesting. (um. i mean it was. partially good. i. i liked the character designs and art.)

i did watch princess tutu and that was just so fucking good. i love fairy tales and i love toxic lesbianism and some empty ass guy and his toxic yaoi with his best friend

i'll be real. madoka magica scarred me because i saw the mami scene but then i went back to it when i was like 15 and cried over homura and the last few episodes of the main series and look at me now mentally ill and gay and i have homura as my google pfp

i have Thankfully grown as a person and i now understand the hype behind madoka magica and i need every single person on this fucking earth to watch it it is the biggest influence on novaturient ever i love the concept of witches and magical girls and that FUCK ASS CAT KYUBEY HIS IS AWESOME

soul gems are so pretty. i got these perfumes in my room that look exactly like them and i put them up and i think wow... this is just like madoka magica

i have no idea how to end this post. thank you for enabling to ramble about mahou shoujo i am so glad there are people just as insane as i am about this genre

[nonbinary-alien25]

1. Are you named after anyone?

well, my birthname is of religious origins, however my answer was originally going to be no, because I chose the name that I go by now and I didn't name myself after anyone. (although i guess i Did choose my middle name as a slight reference to my favorite comfort character. but also mostly just because I loved the way it sounded, especially when said with my first name). but anyways, then I remembered that technically, completely on accident and without ever having known until someone asked me about it, i did name myself after a video game character (excluding my middle name). but in my defense, i had no clue said character existed at all and it was purely accidental/coincidental, so I don't think it fully counts

2. When was the last time you cried?

uhhhhh full on cried?? i have no clue, it's been months probably. the closest I came to full on crying was a few weeks ago in a therapy session lmao

3. Do you have kids?

lmfao in this economy? no. also I'm only 19. and a lesbian. and generally very disinterested in sex lol. so all in all, no I don't have kids. I'm still on the fence about whether I want them or not. if I did, I'd most likely adopt cause I don't ever want to give birth to a child myself, but if my future partner wanted to give birth then I'd be happy to do that instead or as well

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

me? sarcastic? never. (lying). oh boy do i use sarcasm a lot. i even have a shirt that says "national sarcasm society: like we need your support". though i don't think I always understand it when it's used on me lmao. i am better at using it than understanding it

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

hahahaha me?? sports?? that's funny. uhm. i guess I did karate for a little bit when I was a kid, if you wanna count that. and I've thought about trying to get into boxing recently, but the jury's still out on that

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

uhhhhh honestly I have no clue but like probably their clothes?? esp if they have like really cool accessories or smth I dunno

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

probably happy endings?? I mean scary movies are great and all but I don't really watch them a ton. I love a good, fucked up psychological horror every now and then though, love me some deep dives into the human psyche. but still, I don't watch them very often at all, so I'd still have to go with happy endings. I'm soft for them, anyways

8. Any special talents?

uhhh I'm a pretty good writer i guess?? and my fingers/hands are like. pretty hypermobile lol though I don't think that's as much of a talent as it is just. how my body is lmao. but other than that I don't really think I have any super special talents lol

9. Where were you born?

Massachusetts

10. What are your hobbies?

uhhhh writing, reading fanfic, listening to music, I guess baking has also become slightly more of a hobby than it used to be. I love making my aunt's snickerdoodle recipe, and I also made some white chocolate chip cookies a while ago that were pretty bomb. oh also I do like swimming, so. that too.

11. Do you have any pets?

I do!! i have a kitty cat that's around 2 years old and i love her so so so so so much

12. How tall are you?

like 5'2 lmao I'm Short

13. Fave subject in school?

ooooo I've always super loved english class, but I'm also a big fan of math and science :)) and my high school did offer a forensics class that I took in my sophomore year that I loved.

14. Dream job?

i mean i would like to not Have to have a job to y'know. survive or have even the slightest chance of Actually Living, but. since that's not possible, then I'd say probably author? because I love writing and I'm good at it and it's probably like the only thing I can actually see myself enjoying enough to do full-time. but also I'm still pretty burnt out after forcing myself to push through the burnout for so long to get through high school

15. Eye color?

blue!! sometimes kinda grey-ish, but like. they're blue

no pressure tags:

I don't think I have 15 mutuals to tag, so I'll just tag whoever I can lol. but feel free to ignore if you don't feel like doing this lol

@yourlocalegotisticalqueerishere @chocolatemilk25 @for-forever21 @angels-in-the-electric-chair @justpalsbeingals @rockford-peaches @zariscellphone @lochjhessmonster @marimacha-tonto

15 questions for 15 mutuals

❤️ Thanks for the tag, @descendantdragfi, @obscurus-noctem and @fluttereyes  ❤️

1. Are you named after anyone? Not directly, but my mother chosed a name of  a british singer she liked when she was living in UK, years before my birth. The singer was already completely forgotten when I was born though. :p

2. When was the last time you cried? Full tears, I don’t remember, but last week, I had really teary eyes reading a journalist I was follwing on Twitter was dead.

3. Do you have kids? No.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? To me, to life, quite often, though I’m probably more ironic than sarcastic, but  not to others, it can be hurting. Yep, I’m a soft heart. :p

5. What sports do you play/have you played? Gosh, none, I’ve always hated sport (and it’s mutual). I walk and do yoga alone, but I don’t consider that as sports.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Actually it depends on who are these people, where we are, and why I meet them!

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings can quickly run on my nerves, so scary movies (but they can run on my nerves too! :D)

8. Any special talents? Nope, absolutley none. I can’t even move my eyebrows in a funny way or whatever useless talent, so let’s not talk about outstanding ones!

9. Where were you born? Paris, France.

10. What are your hobbies? Huuuuh, would you believe it if I’d say Sims and CC making? :D Also baking and gardening (though that last one is more something I do because I want to eat healthy vegetables, not because I have a passion for gardening). And reading!

11. Do you have any pets? No

12. How tall are you? 1,78 m

13. Fave subject in school? It used to be literature but it would be history nowadays.

14. Dream job? Not needing to work would be my dream life. Then, a dream job? :/ 15. Eye colour? Blue.

Tagging (I tried to pick people who haven’t replied already, sorry if you did in the meanwhile! ;D Also, feel free to ignore, as usual!): @tragicpixel, @treason-and-plot, @tsims, @camisulsul, @nessysims, @grandelama, @eisfee, @pixelbots, @lilidebergerac, @simlicious, @laurademelza, @simsaralove, @kimmiessimmies, @pancakebobs, @theplumdot

[marauders70s]

a collection of dumb hp-p&r text memes

dumbledore, gesturing: could a depressed person make this???

mcgonagall: your hand is literally rotting off

---

harry: sometimes I feel like arguing with you is like arguing with the sun.

hermione: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I AM SUPER CHILL ALL THE TIME.

---

pansy: you look awful

draco: what up bitch i just ran a 5k

pansy: really?

draco: no i threw up blood in the shower

pansy: that fight with potter really got ya down huh

---

harry: hey ron are you okay

ron, wearing the locket, staring straight ahead at a tree: yeah i'm fine it's just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I'm always tired.

harry: hermione it's your turn

---

sirius, at any minor convenience: everything hurts and i'm dying

---

goyle: I once knew a guy for seven years and never learned his name. best friend i ever had. we still never talk sometimes, because he's dead.

---

oliver: sometimes you gotta do a little work so you can ball a lot.

mcgonagall: that is incorrect

---

james, during house arrest: If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.

lily, from the couch: oops

---

snape, at a christmas dinner: I can still smell her hair at night

dumbledore, pouring a generous amount of mulled wine: Put some alcohol in your mouth to block the words from coming out.

---

ron: hermione, i'm not using your color coded talking planner

hermione: we need to get good grades on our OWLs!

ron: there's nothing that could motivate me to use it

hermione: well, there's nothing we can't do if we work work hard, never sleep, and shirk from all other responsibilities in our lives.

---

harry: Professor, I wanna go home early. Ooh, hold on actually, hang on. Yeah, no, I wanna quit and never come here again.

---

ron: i'm going to tell you all my secrets

hermione: you don't have to do that

ron: I once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks

ron: I didn't actually break charlie's wand all the way I just hid it and forgot where

ron: I don't know who scrimgeour is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.

ron: when they have 2 sickles a scoop on salamander eyes i'm not sure where the rest of the salamander goes

ron: when i was a baby fred turned my teddy into a spider and i got so scared my mum took me to a mindhealer and they wrote a textbook about me

ron: i once threw a garden gnome so hard that it hit my sister in the face and began attacking her

hermione, looking up from her book: what did ginny do?

ron: she bit it and it ran off.

hermione: classic

---

severus: no matter what i do nothing bad can happen to me. i'm like a white wizengamot official who pretended they were mind-controlled after the fall of the dark lord

lucius: I resent that

---

sirius: thank merlin my great uncle alphard just died so I am fluuuuusheeeeeed with galleeeeooonsss

remus: I'm going to regret this flatshare

---

seamus: i passed up a gay halloween party to see this troll. Do you know how much fun gay Halloween parties are? Last year I saw three Peverell Brothers make out with three Viktor Krums. It was amazing.

---

luna: We need to remember what's important in life. Friends, unpredictable creatures, and school. Or unpredictable creatures, friends, school. It doesn't matter. But school is third.

---

tom riddle: I totally hear you, but I also don't like what you're saying. So if you say no, I will release a giant snake in the bathroom

---

luna: would you like some -

hermione: no! I am going to run for minister of magic someday, so no, thank you. I mean, not that I haven't - I ate a brownie once at quidditch cup party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable, actually. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there wasn't any potions in the brownie, it was just an insanely good brownie.

---

sirius: do i look like the kind of person who drinks water

---

neville: flying is the worst. I know it keeps you healthy, but merlin, at what cost?

ron: okay, you don't have to join the pick up game -

neville: no no i want to be included. i'll come

---

james: What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me.

sirius: that's not right

---

mcgongall: I think you’ve got several options. They’re all terrible…but you have them.

peter: this career counseling session is getting a bit intense

---

neville: how are you handling the...breakup...

ginny: I’m gonna buy some sweat pants and a Gilderoy Lockhart novel. Might as well lean into it.

---

dumbledore, in the staff room, extremely intoxicated: Who hasn’t had gay thoughts?

---

james: Goodbye, Lily Evans, my head girl partner. Hello, Lily Potter, my fallopian princess.

lily: i should have never married you. or at least made you wear a condom

james: what's a-

---

sprout: I’m a simple lesbian. I like pretty, dark-haired women, and man-killing plants.

---

sirius: A couple more rules: if you ever read a sad book, you have to wear mascara so we can see whether or not you’ve been crying. There’s no noise allowed on Mondays. And no magic after breakfast.

peter: er i'm sorry this was the dorm assigned to me...

---

remus: Hogwarts Library is headed by the most diabolical, ruthless bureaucrat I’ve ever seen. She's like a death eater but instead of avada kedavra and crucio she uses shame and shhhing.

james: she wouldn't let him into the restricted section without a note

remus, choking back tears: I AM A PREFECT

---

pansy: I have never flown the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.

---

hermione: If I had a stripper’s name, it would be Equality. for house elves and all beings.

ron: if i had a stripper's name it would be sugar striped candy pole for my -

harry: hermione, DON'T -

---

sir cadogen: You know, in the 1880’s, there were a few years that were pretty rough and tumble here at Hogwarts. This depicts kind of a famous fight between Morpheus Rane, a prefect in Slytherin house, and Wilhemena Batlock, a Hufflepuff seventh year. The original title of this painting was ‘A Lively Fisting.’ But y’know, they had to change it for…obvious reasons.

---

bellatrix, in the afterlife: i regret nothing. the end.

---

harry: I don’t want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.

tofty: I'm sorry but you WILL have to repeat your history of magic OWL

---

james: Lucky for me, I’ve processed all my feelings. And I’ve gone through the five stages of grief - Denial, anger, picking on Peter, cat adoption, reckless dueling, cat returning to the adoption place, reading all Martin Miggs books in the series (what i was picking on peter for actually), and not giving a flying fuck.

remus: you can't say fuck

james: oh great i'm going to have to start the process all over again.

remus: peter, you'd better run

---

dudley: I’m allergic to magic candy. Every time I eat more than 80 sweeties I barf.

fred: how about...81

---

sirius: I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.

remus: this is why we can't date in public

---

neville: I’m gonna get drunk and then I’m gonna order a three course meal where each course is made of dessert.

---

arthur: I promised myself I was not going to cry tonight, and I’ve already broken that promise five times. But I will not break it a sixth.

bill: dad maybe you shouldn't give a toast while fleur's family is still here

---

gilderoy: I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know I’m doing it really, really well.

---

pansy: Use him. Abuse him. Lose him. That’s the Parkinson motto.

draco: I thought the Parkinson motto is don't look at me you whore.

pansy: the motto is really more like a chapter book.

---

harry: You’re ridiculous and pureblood rights is nothing.

voldemort: wow

---

tonks: I would like a glass of red wine and I’ll take the cheapest one you have because I can’t tell the difference.

sirius: cheers i'll drink to that

remus: put. the bowl. down.

---

eh, and just one for the road: “I wonder who else was born in Eagleton. Voldemort, probably.” – Leslie Knope

[the-expose-on-girls]

Church Drama

Warning: this is going to get a little church-y. My rant is not aimed at any specific religion, only at my church in particular.

It never ceases to amaze me, how my church time and time again chooses to side with the aggressor rather than the victim or continue to keep a bad person in their good graces while giving good people the collective cold shoulder. I get it: forgive and love your neighbor. But really?

One girl had an affair with an engaged man, sleeping with him in her little sister's bed, then eloped, then divorced him a year later. She is still in the congregation's good graces. They all still follow her on social media and "heart" all her posts. Simultaneously, they forced her family to leave the church with their unending "how could you raise such an immoral young woman like that" comments and attitude. The Halo Effect is VERY STRONG with this one.

Another girl has adopted the baby prostitute grunge aesthetic and posts countless pictures of her kissing trans and lesbians in mens restrooms. Oh, but she's still their sweet, righteous little ballet princess.

Her brother was sent to a mental hospital for months and when he came back, admitted to the whole congregation that he was addicted to porn. "Oh, what a great kid, he's sooo brave!"

One girl dated a guy much older than her just to enjoy having a sugar daddy for a few months before she got bored and dumped him. The guy was genuinely in love with her. And she used him, played on his feelings to get expensive gifts out of him, including: a Polaroid camera with all the add-on stuff, a modern old-fashioned radio/CD player/record player/Bluetooth speaker, and a VERY expensive gaming computer (that's just a perch for her cat, now). Everyone knows full well she used him. Everyone knows how DEVASTATED he was when she broke things off without a hint of remorse or compassion. He was seriously messed up by that. Yet they still invite her to events and keep her in the circle. Again, the Halo Effect.

MEANWHILE...

One girl's parents got a divorce because her mom stopped taking her meds and went off the deep end, spreading rumors on her way down that the husband was abusive to the whole family. Who did the church believe? The bi-polar former drug addict. And who did they start to throw shade at? The kids. To the point they stopped coming to church because of the comments people would make to their faces.

One boy, who had ADHD, was put in juvenile detention repeatedly, because his parents would lie that he was violently abusive toward the whole family. They had the whole church believing they were the victims of a demon child, just so they could have JD raise their hyper active kid for them. Because they were too lazy to put in a little extra work that it takes to raise a kid with ADHD. When the boy tried to come back to his childhood church, the other kids had already been warned to stay away from him because he was "dangerous". The church barely tolerated his presence as a favor to his "poor, poor parents" for "all they had been through".

I minded my own business, did my best to help anyone who needed it, just wanted everyone to get along, and was a loyal friend to the end, even when backstabbed. Then I got manipulated and used by people, got my reputation smeared by horrible lies, and the church believed those lies. Now I'm the social pariah, the crazy one. I'm the one they will go to every awkward length to avoid.

By the Book...

Don't try to come after me for being trans-phobic or anti-sex or whatever. I'm not bashing LGBT or sex before marriage. I'm simply pointing out that MY church is overlooking the deeds and lifestyles of the people in the first part while simultaneously believing those things are wrong and speaking out against such actions. They continue to act like these people are sweet, righteous angels. They pretend not to know that they just suddenly went off the deep end and started acting out. They bend over backwards in their hypocrisy to support these people who continue to behave, by the church's definition, sinfully.

Then in other situations, they choose to side with the aggressors and punish the victims. They don't even justify any of their standings on the drama with Bible verses or anything---partially because they can't, because what verse stands up for parents slandering and abusing their own kid like that---they just support the wrong side completely arbitrarily. And they support them HARD, to the GRAVE just about. Almost as if they enjoy it. The messy divorce story happened about ten years ago, now, and the people at church still throw shade at the kids whenever they see them. The dad, also a victim, who used to be on worship team, is still excommunicated. WHERE IS YOUR "FORGIVE AND LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR" SERMON, NOW?????

I cannot fathom the mental gymnastics they perform in choosing who to keep in their good graces.

[7thcirclebaker]

The last line where I said I ran out of concept was apparently a lie.

Additional things that make it possibly MariBat!

Talia's mother was actually from the Wen Family. She has been keeping an eye on Paris for ancient magical powers and oh look a cousin! Oh look a set of elaborate schemes and societal games! I must add my own schemes and she clearly needs education. Talia plots and gets Damian to Paris. This is where it goes to either ship that we don't get enough of, MariJon or Roynette.

MariJon - Damian is a teen and slightly older than Mari so it's him and Jon and Cass as adult supervision. Cass eventually is very excited to learn more martial arts from Maris family and joins critiques of actions w/ body language assessment. Upon return to the Manor she knows enough cooking to be allowed in the kitchen by Alfred.

Roynette - Damian is like 12 and the JL don't know about HM so don't realize sending Jay and Roy who are both Angsty is a bad idea as the adult(ish) supervision. Jason has pit magic plot armor tho, it's ok.

Again don't know how those ships happen other than exposure and occasional seeking escape from other plots.

Damien in both is like, none of them are worthy of you, they must defeat at least two of your family in combat to even think about it. Also has anyone even taught you to fight, no fix that stance, you are my cousin by blood and you will have some respect for yourself and use the grace inherent in our bloodline! In general an angry stray cat who expresses affection like this. Mari figures it out in like a week that's how he is, occasionally calls him out. Definitely makes him model men's wear because an artist should help another artist and also you can tell me about the flower meanings and other important lessons while you do.

Additional possibility is that Damian figures out his cousin is Ladybug hero of Paris, guardian of ancient and powerful magic and is like so we're ramping that training to 150%. The Miraculous Temple decide Su Han was wrong to leave the box with Mari so there's guardians trying to attack her while she's stressed about what are the cute ppl doing and Damian just deals with half of them because slight pit magic plot armor gives magic resistance for miraculous stuff and no, only I'm allowed to critique my cousin that harshly thank you very much, kindly throw yourself off the high horse your on that is a mere pony compared to my high horse. It is useful for Mari that Damian initially perceived her in a way that triggered the WayneTM adopt and protect instincts

Additional addition - side plot to Roynette

Fei takes one look at the angsty Himbo with magic plot armor and goes "Mine!" Slade had follows Talia to Paris to see wtf is happening. It bored him, he moved on. Rose was hunting him for raisins and stopped in Paris. Spots Jason, who she's on again off again with, and Fei and is like, no Mine. In a park bumps into them. Subtle glares and conversation end up with the both going no this one's mine now, "Friendly Spar?" "Id love to" No weapons spar, both are surprised at how well matched. They keep fighting, actually having to effort, sweating. One of them is pinned by the other, smirks (lesbian energy increases 150%), the other flips the position and smirks back with a quip (bisexual disaster energy increases 200%) Jason through this is texting Roy. "Someone's gonna die Rose is here" "I think I'm the himbo in this relationship" "They're sparring and it's kinda hot Ngl" "I don't even know if I'm in this relationship anymore" He is, they go for ice cream

More Crack Fic Ideas; (saw a fic w/ a HC that Gina is a retired model who now travels the world, it sprung thoughts) apologies it's long and I don't know how to do a read more on mobile

Alright so this has the secretly rich, possibly poly crack ship. Moderate to low sodium potential though not a Lila fan so won't be like hugely pro her also in the ship tbh.

IDEA

Its Families day at Francois DuPont! Gabriel got concerning looks from French authorities so is there in person, Amelie came to visit with Felix to drag him out of the house (and try and steal the second ring) He's unhappy. Audrey now has two children to judge so figured if Gabriel was actually going to be there, she'd go too, plus she can catch up with Amelie, because of course they know each other. Films, fashion, clearly long standing history w/ Gabe on either side. Kagami is invited to bring Tomoe because of the fencing academy. Lila's mother unfortunately can't make it (never found out) so she's just gonna hang with this crowd of rich kids and try and schmooze. (Amelie and Felix are like, whomst are you to try this with us??!)

Maris parents are busy with the bakery but that's okay because her Nonna was in town to teach her how to ride a Vespa she may be getting for her birthday. She'll gladly swing by but first she's gotta pick up her Nainai who came to visit from the airport so it'll be a little bit (came not only to see her family but also to see what's going on in Paris btw) She Brought Fei along to visit Paris too. Mari is busying herself making sure everything runs smoothly. Nonna Gina and Nainai Lin (fully can be renamed) and Fei appear. Mari greets enthusiastically

Cut back to corner crowd of disdainful rich people and poor tortured children. Mari is loud, they notice her (they were already keeping half an eye on her, prodigy their kids/ nephew never shuts up about okay) Notice that the family that came are noted former model and now travel photographer who can have a conversation with your team and immediately figure out the vision for set locations Gina Dupain and Lin Cheng who was from the notable Wen fighting family who can destroy a person 20 different ways or twenty men in under 5 minutes still, who took on a bodyguard role for the visionary head son of the Cheng family who helped expand their restaurant business into a global company that does everything involved in food supply chains for farm to table wherever you can cook it, and married him. Jaws don't quite drop but eyebrows raise. Children are informed in hushed and surprised whispers of who exactly they are and who that makes Marinette. Adrien exclaims he's so happy for his very good friend. Audrey, Amelie, Nathalie and Tomoe somehow all share a look. Tomoes doesn't quite have the undertones of "He's such a blend of his parents like my god". Gabriel notices the look and reads it as battle lines are drawn, this is a chess match I must now win. Lila is moderately unhappy because she alienated one of the richest most connected ppl at this school, damn goody two shoes. They have all not been keeping an eye on the family gathered.

The brief 2 minutes for lines to be drawn in stand and positions explained are enough for Maris Grammas to be like, So the cute boy, he's there yes, we'll go talk to him, I vaguely know those people we can have a cordial conversation while digging. They are a force of nature. The four approach the group of rich embattled people with surprising silence and a certain degree of steeling themselves to not make a fool (mainly Mari) The conversation goes well, Little stumbles but they're written off as cute, lots of mental gymnastics and hidden conversations that basically sum up to "Mari is a precious gem and if your child hurts her you die and so does your company, they must prove they are able to court her. Fei is also precious but will more likely kill you herself so slightly less worries" Fei is refreshing and sees through tricks (possible also polyship here to help with max courtship drama without worrying about like accidental incest in a poly ship) The conversation nears it's end, people are fairly confident they know the stances of the others in this group, they can play this game for sure.

BUT WAIT! A wild Jagged Stone appears because it's family day and he's here with Luka and Juleka! He and Penny come over to talk to his honorary nice and this group of well connected people. Penny reads the conversation in the air and in the eyes of everyone in the group. She smirks in a way that concerns Gabriel, Nathalie and Amelie. Audrey is not worried, she is fabulous. Tomoe is not worried because Kagami is unmatched and clearly Marinette has a family history of loving women who can hand you your ass. Luka with his quiet insightful nature and overly exuberant pushy parent has thrown out their plans.

And thus sparks a grand courtship! Marinette has no idea what's going on. Adrien has some idea what's going on but not until the alliance of Chloe and Felix explain. Alliances are made! And broken! Information is gathered! Bunnyx makes a large bucket of popcorn! Love akumas just keep happening! Fei makes a large bucket of popcorn! Lin and Gina have a scoreboard! Rowland is surprisingly okay with it because young people don't do courtship properly these days and these children have clearly been raised right, look at the carefully worded flower messages! (They really haven't but he doesn't know and he's trying to be involved) Simu Cheng swings by to visit for a bit! He agrees with Rowland about Courtship rituals! They argue a lot about cooking! They also share ancient family methods of their specific cooking! ( Think less gay Statler and Waldorf that are semi bonding through cooking and judging) Bunnyx makes the Kwamis a large bucket of popcorn! Marinette is confused! Nathalie needs alcohol! Tom is just confusedly supportive and glad his father's arguing with someone else! Sabine is worried about the scheming! The Gorilla is supportive! Members of the class form teams to help support various members! Kagami and Adrien's alliance gains her some additional Friends! Rose is overly excited about all the live shenanigans! Nino is using this as inspiration for a movie script! Who knows how this ends! I sure as hell don't because I ran out of concept