#you don't get to just alter how the entire world works to cater to your mental illness because you don't feel like learning how to cope

[coockie8]

People acting out bad things they see in fiction is absolutely a thing that happens. The most well-known instance I can think of is the Slender man Stabbing incident (the incident antis use most often to "prove" this claim), but they always conveniently leave out that this was a crime committed by two 12-year-old girls with undiagnosed mental illness (schizophrenia and psychosis). A couple of 12-year-olds should not have had unfiltered access to something like Slender man to begin with.

I can't think, off the top of my head, of this occurring with an adult where it didn't turn out to just be an excuse (like Ted Bundy using porn as an excuse for raping and murdering 36+ suspected women).

So while yes, this can happen, it does not happen nearly as often as antis claim it does, seems to happen most consistently in children who are engaging with media that's not for them to begin with, usually with some undiagnosed mental illness, and it is certainly not indicative of the general population.

"I'm not spoon-feeding morals you should 100% already have established if you're over the age of 5 to you." LOUDER FOR THE IDIOTS IT THE BACK 📢📢📢📢

Look, if you have cognitive disabilities or whatever that make you incapable of distinguishing fiction from reality, then that sucks, and I truly do feel for you.

But at the same time if you're over the age of like 12 and still need a book to tell you rape and murder are bad, then maybe you just shouldn't be reading books that are about rape and murder ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

Like I'm sorry, but if you know you have a tendency to act out what you read, then you should know better than to read morally grey books that don't word-for-word tell you that the actions taken by the morally grey characters within are bad and you shouldn't emulated them. Your mental illness does not absolve you of the responsibility of your actions, actually. I know, shocking.

Unfortunately this will limit you to media designed for children, because media designed for adults is going to go in assuming you already know not to act out bad things that you read.

[propshophannah]

Am I the only one who thought the book had a lot of sexist undertones? Like preemptively modifying your body to MAYBE one day give birth to your man's (male's) babies? I feel like the IC never tried to let Nesta heal in her own way, they just forced her to do things they thought would be good for her, while demeaning her along the way. And the shield thing around Feyre is very reminiscent of how Tamlin treated her in ACOTAR... I don't know, a lot of the book just made me uncomfortable :/

Hi Nonnie!

First, I want to say that I’m sorry parts of this book made you uncomfortable. That’s never fun. Second…

I think we can reasonably say that no matter what we’re looking at, we can find sexism if we want to. Now that doesn’t mean that some things are not just blatantly sexist. I think with this book there is a conversation to be had about what some of us read as sexist and what some of us read as not sexist or even pro different-forms-of-feminism.

It’s sort of in the eye of the beholder.

It’s also a fantasy world that has developed under a patriarchy. So some things are just as sexist as they “should be” because that’s the world building, right? 

So, like, territorial Fae males is fully explained in the world building and is therefore fully acceptable for the books, and is also, frankly, a kink. SJM caters to that kink. So we know we’re going to get that in these books. Most if their shit is NOT okay for planet Earth. (That’s why some of us actively seek it and enjoy reading it in books.)

So let’s get in it!

Nesta modifying her body

Now as far as Nesta modifying her own body to have children one day, I don’t see that as sexist at all. Because the alternative to her altering her own anatomy is her pausing for a moment and asking Cassian if she can strip him of his faerie race and make him something else that doesn’t have wings. If that happened, we’d be getting into race and identity and all kinds of other shit that is hella problematic. 

So, no. Nesta wanting to one day birth her own children is not sexist. Nesta deciding to alter her own anatomy so that she can safely birth her own children with Cassian, is not sexist. (Now if Cassian did it without permission, then we’d have a problem!)

The IC making Nesta heal their way

Now THIS is a conversation on choice. Not sexism. Rhys has long touted that his court is a court of choices and all that. So forcing Nesta to either go to the human lands (where she’ll very likely die) or go to the House of Wind (where she can’t readily leave) and train and work everyday, is a problem. If you want to make an argument that this is the equivalent of Tamlin locking Feyre in the house, I won’t stop you. I would only ask that you consider the nuance. 

And the nuance here takes us back to world building. They don’t have psychiatric wards or mental health services or rehab centers like we do on planet Earth. Nesta needed help. AND LET ME BE REAL CLEAR: I’m not here to debate what kind of help she needed. (We could run in circles all day long debating that.) What I am saying is that they recognized that: 

Nesta’s behavior was not good, 

that THEY WERE ENABLING HER, 

that they actually had the power to do something about her situation

They do not live in a democracy. They live in a monarchy. They have and hold absolute power and rule. And while that whole intervention—or whatever the fuck that was��was absolutely TERRRRIBLE, they had every right to do what they did. Why? Because it fit the world building.

They acted like rich parents fed up with a wild teenager so they cut her off and gave her a choice between getting kicked out of the house or going to work on grandpa’s farm in the middle of BFE. Essentially that’s what they did.

Do I agree with it? Eh... they didn’t have a lot of options and SOMETHING needed to happen (I’d have been VERY ANGRY had they left her to die like that). Do I like it? FUCK NO. They went about it all wrong and it was shitty.

Abandoning her in the human lands would have been fucking murder. But do you HONESTLY, HONESTLY think Feyre would have done that??? ALSO, LET’S BE REAL: Nesta would not have stayed there long because EVERY HIGH LORD knows about her power and would want her in their court. That whole shit about the human lands likely was NOT real and was a scare tactic. It was a shitty scare tactic. But again, it fit the world building. AND Nesta’s character (cuz it worked, she didn’t ask to go to the human lands). 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

This isn’t directed at you Nonnie, but what did people think would happen? There would suddenly be psych wards and rehab centers and Feyre and Rhys would start acting with compassion and kindness and like they themselves had gone to therapy for decades and suddenly be able to convince Nesta to sign herself into one of those facilities? 

I get it’s annoying. And it’s infuriating. And some of their bullshit talking out their ass moments made me want to throw the book across the damn room. Because that’s not how you act to people in the middle of a downward spiral/crisis like Nesta was. 

But here’s the thing: they have no basis for knowing better. They don’t have mental health services. Gwyn mentioned a priestess who counsels them, but that’s NOT the same thing as a therapist or psychologist or psychiatric NP or psychiatrist.

So what did people expect?

Also. Do you think for one second, Nesta would have responded well to compassionate attempts to get her help? She hadn’t hit rock bottom yet (where compassion would have worked wonderfully *depending* on the type of rock bottom she hit). She would have seen any attempt like that as pity and she would have rebelled.

Here’s how I get over being annoyed with Feysand and Amren for that dumb af “intervention” moment: I remind myself that

They recognized she couldn’t keep going down the path she was going.

They recognized that they loved her too much to let that happen (Feyre at least). 

They recognized that they held ABSOLUTE POWER over her in their realm

They recognized that they needed to put her in a place where she had a purpose, a routine, where she couldn’t fall back on old habits, and where she had the option to talk to other trauma survivors (if she chose to) 

That’s what they knew. Putting her in the House was their only choice. So they did. And guess what? It worked. 

Now, the forcing her to train thing was BULLSHIT. You can’t force other people to change, they have to want that for themselves. But guess what? Turns out Nesta wanted to change. Because she wasn’t against training. She was only against doing it in a place where she could be judged. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

Also, exercising is FUCKING FANTASTIC for mental health. (Maas knows that.)

Now did they demean her along the way? Yes. 

Was it shitty? HELL, YES! 

Did Rhys finally learn his lesson that night with the nightmare? He sure af did! 

Did some people in the fandom expect too much from Amren? Yep. Lady was never going to show affection or be nice to Nesta. Amren shows respect. When you respect Amren, she respects you. That’s her ENTIRE character. We’re three books in with Amren. Idk why people are still butthurt about her personality. Like. You can’t get mad at Amren for not being a table when she’s always been a chair. (Doesn’t mean we have to like her behavior or anyone else’s. But it does mean that we only have ourselves to blame when she acts the way she always has.) This same logic applied to Mor and Feyre and Elain etc.

Also. Did them acting like assholes drive the plot forward? IT SURE AF DID! If they had acted differently the book wouldn’t be as good as it is.

The shield around Feyre

If you want to make the argument about how this is a Tamlin thing to do, I won’t stop you. But again, I’ll ask you to consider the nuance and the world building. 

In a world where anyone can scent a pregnancy, would you not try to hide your ruler’s pregnant scent and body from enemies and potential attacks? I would! 

Is it a little territorial? Yes. 

Does that make sense for the world building and what we know about Fae males? Yep! 

Could Feyre have told Rhys to cut the shit? Yes. 

Is it possible Feyre *maybe* use the lie of Rhys and Helion(?) having fun with shield as an excuse to have it around herself? Yeah. I’d probably do it. 

Look, if Feyre hadn’t wanted the shield, it would have been gone. They said it was a compromise, but you can’t tell me Rhys would force a shield around her against her own will (or that she, The Cursebreaker, wouldn’t bust through it in a heartbeat).

Sorry if this comes off as salty, Nonnie! I don’t mean to be. I just don’t really understand why people get mad at stuff in books *that’s perfectly reasonable* for the world building when the alternative that they would prefer would be out of character, out the world building, or create plot holes etc. 

Hope this helps!

[kookookafreakinchoo]

This is sort of a weird question (ignore if you don't wanna answer), but I'm writing fanfic about a comic book character who's an acrobat. Idk anything about acrobatic stuff but a mutual told me to ask you. Any tips/insight? Sorry this isn't about DP specifically...

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that this is either about Nightcrawler or Nightwing? I’m also curious as to who this mutual was lol there are very, very few people on tumblr who would know to ask me this question. 

Regardless, I’m happy to help.  

Fair warning, I’m just going to cover the basics and I’ll probably forget some stuff. Also, when I talk about “circus” or “circus arts” I’m referring to lyra, silks, trapeze arts, cube, etc specifically (the aerial arts). I’m guessing since it’s a comic book and since you’re asking me you want answers catered to that - so if I say something about an “acrobat” I’m using it interchangeably with “aerialist,” but acrobat can encompass other disciplines as well. 

Stuff about aerial arts equipment: 

- There’s three (general) types of apparatus: a lyra (basically a steel hoop, sometimes with a bar across the top of it and they’re usually taped), silks (two pieces of fabric that vary in stretchiness; can be tied to create a sling or hammock and the stretchiness of the fabric will alter your approach to it), and trapeze (can be standing or flying). There are more, but these are the three that people are probably most familiar with. 

- Rigging is an art form in and of itself. Aerialists have different standards when it comes to what they’ll accept as “safe,” but in general the standard is “if it can’t hold a truck, it can’t hold me.” 

- People usually have a favorite apparatus. This seems to revolve around 1) what type of pain people are willing to put up with and 2) what makes “sense” to someone conceptually; aerials often involve weird, upside down movements and you need to be able to visualize placements and move your body appropriately. Sometimes people have an easier time doing this with one apparatus compared to another. 

Stuff about aerialists: 

- Circus hurts. I think the biggest thing that people don’t realize is how physically painful and damaging aerial arts can be. The lyra, silks, trapeze, etc can all leave a lot of really intense bruises and burns. It’s super common for aerialists to have strange, ugly bruising and/or rope burn all over their body from the equipment itself. The injuries vary depending on the apparatus someone uses, but everyone who does aerials has them. It’s more common for beginners but even experienced aerialists get them when trying new things or if they’ve taken some time off. 

- Experienced aerialists have thickened/leathery skin at various pressure points on their body. It develops over time as your body adjusts and builds layers to combat tissue damage (see previous point). The most common areas are places like the top of the feet, back of the knees, palms, hips, and armpits, but it depends on the apparatus the aerialist uses. I’m not saying that someone can tell just by looking at an aerialist that they have thickened skin (it’s not grossly obvious or anything like that), but you can usually feel it.  

- In terms of build, aerial arts are as much about endurance as they are about brute strength. Because of that, many aerialists are fairly lean (think of a build like a lean gymnast or a ballerina). Any type of aerial art is a full body workout, but aerialists tend to have very strong hips, abs, shoulders, backs, and arms, including forearms; if there’s one consistent thing I’ve seen across aerialists, it’s broad shoulders and muscular forearms. Still, people of all different body types can be incredibly successful aerialists/acrobats, so if you’re writing a story involving acrobats don’t be afraid to make the acrobat have whatever body type you want.

- The rumors are true: flexibility is very important in the circus arts and aerialists tend to be very flexible. Having said that, being too flexible is just as much of a problem as being too stiff; if you can over-extend, it will “look” pretty because it leads to cleaner lines, but there’s also an increased risk of injury and “floppiness”. Basically, the more flexible you are, the more control you need to have in the air. 

- I think people sometimes confuse bravery with recklessness. Aerialists are very brave; I’ve never met an aerialist who is reckless. Being an aerialist requires a pretty strong mind and a sense of self-confidence but rarely do aerialists take needless risks.  

- Aerialists/acrobats are among the most welcoming people in the world. Aerial arts is a real adrenaline rush, so I guess everyone could just be high… but I’ve never met a “mean” or unfriendly aerialist. It’s definitely a family. 

What the sport is like: 

- The aerial arts are very difficult. Most people understand that conceptually, but nearly every beginner underestimates how tough it is or overestimates their own strength. There are muscles that can only really be worked through aerials. Most true beginners take several days just to be able to hang off of an apparatus for an adequate amount of time. That’s not to say that beginners don’t get “in the air” on their first day, but they’re rarely more than a few feet off the ground. Part of this, too, is because beginners don’t have technique - a lot of aerial is about proper technique.

- I think what people underestimate the most is the amount of grip strength you need. The vast majority of beginners will lose grip strength long before they lose shoulder strength when they’re first starting out; I’ve seen people who have incredibly strong backs/shoulders but struggle with the silks because they don’t have the grip strength for them. 

Some aerialists will use sprays or powders to increase their grip strength; this is a huge point of contention in the aerial community. If you ever want to open a can of worms among aerialists, ask them their opinion on the use of rosin. It’s banned in some training centers and encouraged in others - people can get very, very heated over it. 

- For reference, in my experience a typical training practice can last anywhere from 1.5-3 hours, but you don’t spend the entire time in the air. Practice is usually anywhere from 1 to 3 times a week, potentially more if you’re training for a performance. Conditioning is serious business and is typically done before practice, but sometimes training will finish with “last actions” which is basically conditioning when you’re exhausted. Fatigue is a real issue so I’ve never seen anyone train everyday. 

I think that’ll cover the basics if you’re designing an aerialist/acrobatic character or building a story for one, but let me know if you have any other questions! And if anyone has stuff to add feel free to comment.