#you don't even know how much I struggled to google the reference image for the insect

[abbykmtr-13]

TMNTober 2023 • 21. Greatest fear

Of course I needed to draw Raph for this one! He and I share this exact same fear.

@tmntober-2023

Plus, a little sketch below the cut!

[beddybites]

How'd you develop your art style(my art style is so bad I need to understand this!! 😞)

awwwhhhh don't call your art style bad!

honestly-- references... tracing... i know there's a whole thing with people where they are like "tracing bad" but spoilers. it isn't. so long as you are not profiting off of traced work or not tracing from people who do not want their work traced-- and in general I think with tracing its moreso just tracing how people draw hands, eyes, etc

like honest to god a lot of my work is me directly referencing demon slayer manga panels and adjusting it accordingly. it's what helped me learn how to draw the characters properly, then adjust it based on my own style/headcanons/etc. if I'm struggling to draw a hand from memory, I usually just grab an image from google and trace it

use references! even professionals use references! you have the resources, use them!

growing up i took a lot of inspiration from other artists and it helped me build my style over the years. i also started developing my art style a lot more in college, since I was taking classes and working with other creative minds. they usually gave me feedback, or had techniques I really liked, and vice versa...

as my graphic design professor this past year has put it:

"comparison is the thief of joy, and the world needs your vision, too"

originality, technically, does not exist--- but creativity exists everywhere

all that being said, you guys are always more than welcome to reference / trace my work for learning purposes... ofc don't sell art that's traced and what not, but if it helps you guys develop your style--- please go for it! i am happy to assist, and frankly honored people like my art so much they wanna take some pieces from it ;u;

[jmdbjk]

BTS: Beyond the Story

These are just my personal thoughts and opinions after finishing the book. I don't quote the book in this blog post. I don't talk about specific topics so I don't really give any spoilers. But I do talk about my thoughts on what I've read. If you don’t want to know ANYTHING about the book, keep scrolling.

My overall impression: Wow. Amazing.

I have learned so much. If you've been with me a while on this blog, you may already know that my BTS journey began right before the release of Map of the Soul:7.

My journey could be described as: if you will, visualize opening a Google map and dragging that little Street View dude/dudette to the middle of a huge city and dropping him/her/them there and then just moving along in street view as you explore. I was that little guy going this way and that trying to consume BTS content and trying to make sense of it all but I was zig zagging backwards and forwards in time with no view from above to see where I was going or where I had been. I'd watch something that would lead me this way and then the next thing I watched would propel me back in time and then I'd have to stop and watch the current Run BTS (show) as it dropped and I was ALL. OVER. THE. PLACE. consuming content back and forth chronologically and it was difficult to put it all in order because there is so much content available on so many different platforms.

But this book lays it out all nice in a straight line with the visual, musical and information references to go with everything. I LOVE IT! I feel like I graduated from Bangtan Academy with an undergrad degree in BTSology.

And now in their own words I have a much better understanding of their process as they worked on specific albums and songs, what their motivations, fears, happiness and goals were. And what the songs, albums and concepts were about, what the lyrics meant to them.

My personal takeaways:

• The members struggled with imposter syndrome as they experienced success and the more popular they became. A lot of times they were unsure if they deserved the success they were achieving. Each success made them work hard for the next goal but the sudden overwhelming global recognition was hard to handle.

• They consider this their job. They understand its a business that exists to make money. And most of the time, they love this job. And they work very hard at it.

• At the same time, they also define themselves strongly as members of BTS. They are a team who know each others strengths and weaknesses.

• Their bond with each other is rare in the entertainment world.

• They each describe themselves very clearly.

• I am seeing JM and JK in a new light here. Jimin and Jungkook's words and thoughts impressed me. Their poise and awareness and eloquence even when they were explaining how they were struggling and wondering if what they were doing was right and going to work. Their determination can be felt in their words as they explain how they wondered if they would make it, and once they did, how would they survive the pressure. Jimin was always tuned in emotionally to what was going on.

• Jungkook is wise beyond his years. His baby image is not real. Many are not giving him the credit he deserves when it comes to knowing what he’s doing. He grew up fast in a world we know nothing about because we don't live in it.

• The fact that Jimin and Jungkook's trip to Tokyo has its own section under the title "Real" Love is mind blowing.

• The relationship of the group and the company working together to make it all happen was one of the reasons they made it. Their mentor Bang Si-Hyuk, nurtured their art and pushed them until they soared. And every one of them speaks highly of Bang PD.

• The haters, the amount of hate and the types of hate aimed at them was unbelievable. I always thought there was a little exaggeration in regards to that but no. Some form of hate/backlash/bullying/efforts to discredit them, was there from the beginning, from all sides. It is a fucking miracle they are still with us. I am in awe of their ability to walk through that fire.

• I feel like my habit of looking at the "big picture" gained a wider scope into their world.

I will re-read and refer to some of my favorite content not included in the QR codes in the book so I can see if what I know now changes how I feel. Hopefully I will come away with a post-grad degree in BTSology after that.

The vernacular in translating Korean to English is not a smooth word for word translation so I think some of the passion and emotion in what the members were trying to convey does not easily come across with as much emphasis as it probably was said during their interviews but it does not diminish the meaning of what they said. When I re-read I am going to really concentrate on hearing their own voices as I read the member's words again.

The only real issue I had and it is very minor: the method of using italicized all-caps for the lengthy album titles became burdensome to read. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MOMENT IN LIFE: PT. 1; THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MOMENT IN LIFE: PT. 2 and THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MOMENT IN LIFE: YOUNG FOREVER were a lot for my eyeballs and brain to handle when they were repeated again and again in paragraph after paragraph.

[kelpiemomma]

For your ask game! 5, 9, 14, 30.

Also, I hope you are having a wonderful day!

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

>I actually keep a lot of art for myself bc they end up being a ton of sketches. I'd like to share more, but sharing more art means being more proud and happy with what I put out, and I honestly struggle a lot with what I DO share lol. Anywhere from 50/50 to 80/20 for me/sharing, tbh. Kinda hard to say with the new laptop.

9. What are your file name conventions

>i assume this means how I name my files? Depends on how I'm feeling and what I'm drawing. Things I give more of a shit about (harpg ref images, rpg references, animatic sketches) get actual titles like "Paolumu headshot" or "Amberwhisker full body". My current anim wip is just called "welcome to the bay" bc that's what it is. When I'm sketching and doing stuff for fun, it's a lot more relaxed. my current main wip is called "KHAAAAAAAAN", I have another one called "Khannies", one called "sketchees", and the like. I did once draw a cartoon penis and I believe the file name was Wilikens? I do miss him :c

14. Any favorite motifs

i hhonestly don't know 🤔 I don't think I stick with one thing for too long. I also don't exactly know what a motif is and so I googled it. I don't think I have one (from what I understand of a motif) more than others 🤔🤔🤔

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

Anything involving an OC, tbh. It's easy to get traction, even if it's minor, on a fan favorite character. Most people don't give a shit about OC art. It makes me want to love on mine and others OCs even more.

[tomatograter]

If he has internalized homophobia then why he has no problem telling Dave he used to date a guy? Like, as you said, he cares about his reputation, and we know he really wanted Dave to like him, so that prolly means he was quite careful with what he could or couldn't say in front of him, specifically after he discovered that Bro abused him. So what I'm trying to say, if he cared about being gay, I think he would have avoided telling him he dated Jake? Or at least give it a second thought? I don't see what's the problem with Dirk being against labels, he seems that type of person, he prolly thinks that makes him more intellectual or some stupid thing like that

Hmmm thats not exactly what I said. I don't think Dirk has internalized homophobia so much as <he's afraid of the outside reception to the fact that he's gay, and how people will perceive him based on it>. Dirk knows that he's gay. We know Dirk is aware of that since he was at least 13, because he's already throwing undeniably romantic advances at Jake by then to test the waters. Dirk isn't in cutesy denial about anything here, he doesn't have the time or luxury for that. His problem is more that once you state 'Yes I Am Gay' as a definition of your character, that comes with a Lot of historical baggage and expectations- and from dirk's perspective, both the expectations and historical baggage are something so incredibly divorced from his reality in a future where no human society exists that he's waaaayyyyyy too careful of making that association. It could potentially bust the image he's trying to project.

Again, Dirk's thing is performance. Esp the performance of masculinity. He is the one homestuck character that truly, genuinely, wholeheartedly cares about putting up an image of what it means To Be Masc. He does this because he likes it. He's not forced to do it, he's not under societal pressure to do it, he's not whinning about how much he hates it, he's not doing it at gunpoint; this is a set of parameters he came up with for himself, even in complete isolation. They are a statement and holy boypledge he's making.

He thinks it is Very Cool, and he would like it if you thought it was Very Cool Too (especially if that transmits an image of how strong and reliable he "totally" is). And, again, when you think about our early 2000-10's context of GAYNESS, because homestuck is an extremely time-bound comic, the image "being gay" summons is... really not the one I described above. We're talking about gay men being stereotyped as catty & cowardly & effeminate, about the constant punchlines around 'useless fairies' (a term that was used to refer specifically *to* feminine, submissive, oft gender-transgressive gays ) not incidentally, Dirk's godtier is revealed to him in-comic through a drawing that depicts him as a fairy. He's immediately put off by it. Dirk and Jake's godtiers were called Fagtiers by more than a portion of the fandom. Relics of this are still high up on google images if you search for pictures of their godtiers, lol. Essentially, to admit to his gayness openly and broadly in that timeframe is to be stereotyped as something he doesn't entirely identify as, in an environment that is far from welcoming.

I am pretty open about reading Dirk as a trans man, and what I think is happening here is that together with Roxy's constant insinuations that Dirk Should Have Her Babies, Dirk is ultimately afraid that his claim to being a homosexual paints him as innately womanly. He either gets to be a man or he gets to love men. There's no middleground, or else these social features will cancel eachother out like pemdas. What we see in Homestuck is his haphazard attempt to keep both things intact. His courtship of Jake is only allowed if it is strictly masculine, if it seems like he has a semblance of control, if it looks like they are both just Dudes being Bros throwing it down like Fellow Action Men. This is harmful for Dirk and gives him extreme emotional constipation; not to speak of how tiring it is for Jake to try to keep up with this months-long improv game of Xtreme Axe Bodyspray Marathon when they could just... date. Jake really wouldn't mind if they decided to paint each other's nails or have stereotypical sleepovers or just chill out and have fun like Jane and Roxy are obviously doing. Jake would be fine with being soft so long as he's not being made fun of. But Dirk struggles with letting any sign of dangerous sensitivity show under the assumption that it will be read as a weakness, an inadmissible vulnerability in his set of armor.

Which becomes all the more relevant once you note that when Dirk's trying to convince Dave that he's not a threat and certainly not a monster, one of the first things he admits to is "I like men."

[mega-angry-cloud]

art question but should i use references to improve?

i always feel like its like cheating or something

You should ABSOLUTELY use references!!!

And I say this as someone who used to have the exact same feeling of "cheating", and let me tell you why:

You draw something.

Someone see's it and compliments you

They ask, "what were you looking at?"

You say "nothing." And they compliment you even more because "WOW!!! You were able to do that without a reference??? That makes you the God of Art!"

And suddenly, you have cemented in your mind that, "if I look at something I want to draw, I am cheating. I am only impressive if I can draw from memory."

But that's not how artists actually do things.

All artists use references, from storyboard animators to comic illustrators to character designers to stick figure artists. Often, our jobs as artists is to turn 3d objects into 2d visual renditions. How can you do that if you don't know what that looks like???

Pretty much all the greatest art pieces in HISTORY were made using a visual reference, whether that's a live model or a photo from Google. For example, Norman Rockwell used a variety of references for his famous piece, "The Problem We All Live", and to this day I still see that piece EVERY WHERE.

Now, I would reccomend taking your own reference photos for pieces that you intend to post or sell, or credit the photographer if youre using photos that were taken by someone else, BUT!!!

There are PLENTY of free to use images o Google or deviant art for poses, facial expressions and environments that you can find on literally ANY photo sharing site.

Artists HAVE to use visual references, or else thw art suffers for it. You shouldn't listen to people who say you need to suffer or struggle more than you are for your work, because they're probably just salty that the couldn't use what you have available now!!!

I'll try to share and tag more artist links to reference materials and tips in the future now that I know I have other artists following me

Tldr; If you feel confident enough in a piece that you think you don't need a reference, LOOK IT UP ANYWAY!!! a reference can NEVER hurt you as an artist. If you see an artist saying that they didn't use any references in their piece, they've either been doing the work with references for SO LONG that they pretty much have it down as muscle memory at this point, or they're lying. Either way, I've never been impressed by someone who says that, because reference material is such an obvious must that I can't imagine a good artist that refuses to use them for anything.

I hope this helped, and that you keep drawing no matter what!!!

Edit:

I realised I didn't cover other people's art as reference material. This is a little more contentious, but its still ok to do as long as you credit the artists you reference. In fact, alot of artists recommend you keep at least three or four of your favorite artists' works on hand to help you develop a style you'll like. I would reccomend Ergojosh's YouTube channel for more info on this topic.

[venusoliver]

The Taste of Sweet Silk on Your Lips; Chapter 11 BTS

NOTE: This post will discuss plot points from Chapter 11 my Ao3 fanfiction, The Taste of Sweet Silk on Your Lips. Please refrain from reading further if you'd like to avoid spoilers!

This chapter, if I'm not mistaken, is my longest chapter yet. Woah.

I've almost completely strayed from my original outline. Almost. For the past couple of chapters my outline didn't reasonate with the final result at all, but I think I'm starting to get back on track.

The BDSM chapters are always the most difficult. There's a lot of terminology that can come into play rather quickly, not to mention the struggle to keep things consistent and clear. (Where are Mikasa's hands? How do I describe that? How do I phrase this differently than the last three paragraphs I wrote? Okay, hold on, what's a synonym for—)

Long story short, it's a handful. But when I'm done writing the chapter, when I can finally delete "DRAFT" from the title of my chapter page, it's a feeling I don't feel to often.

I feel proud of myself. And that's an amazing thing :D

But along with BDSM chapters comes references!

Now, my original plan was to actually watch live BDSM performances online. I watched a very solid handful before I started writing this fic, and I learned quite a lot, but in the end..

I'm a procrastinator, okay?

My schoolwork was starting to pile up. I was failing multiple classes (I'm only failing one now, yay for me!), and what does my brain do when there's actual work to be done? Not that. Anything but that.

Now, writing my fic isn't work. I LOVE writing this fic. But typing out extensive cartography notes and typing out prolonged sexual tension can start to get grouped together, and before I knew it—

A week had passed since my last update. That's always when I start to get anxious.

So, instead of taking this slow and watching low-quality footage of shibari clubs in russia, it was just me— my brain— and a very aggressive google searching session.

In the end, I'm still very happy with how things went.

The issue arose initially when I just.. couldn't find the right references. I had the picture in my head of what was going on, but I still needed a picture to look at so that my descriptions wouldn't become to vague and absurd.

Let's start off easy, Mikasa's lingerie.

I had a lot of options when deciding what Mikasa should wear. Something risque, of course, but nothing too revealing. It was a tough decision, but I think this picture does my vision justice! Aside from the shoes. Mikasa is a little too powerful in heels like that.

The next order of business was getting references for the bondage rigging.

The spreader bar was easy. Legs spread, bar in the middle, you're good to go!

Next up was the harness. I had a couple of other options I was debating when deciding on what type of harness I wanted on Mikasa. I originally went with something more dainty, with thinner rope and smaller knots— but once I decided on suspension-esqe rigging near the end of the performance, it only made sense for the harness to be more secure.

As for the arms.. that was the most difficult part of this chapter. Finding a reference, writing it out— when I go back to make minor revisions on the fic (grammatical errors)— it's going to be very hard to stop myself from rewriting that portion of the chapter.

The sheer joy that raced through me when I found this image is unmatched. I had scoured the internet looking for a clean, clear reference for what I wanted. After rephrasing my google search multiple times (shibari arm rigging, arms behind head, arms behind head shibari, etc.)— and praying I wouldn't have to use a p 0rn screenshot as reference, I found this image.

This is precisely what I was going for with her arms. Mikasa is a very fit woman, and I don't doubt that she wouldn't have a problem getting her arms behind herself like this.

In my mind when I pictured Mikasa bent at the hip, legs spread wide, arms lifted upwards behind her— this is precisely the position I envisioned her arms in. I used that reference when describing the actual rigging for the arms as well.

But enough about all the k!nky stuff! This chapter was a lot more sentimental than originally planned.

I'm consistently at odds with myself when writing these chapters, trying to give them the smut I intended while also making their relationship believable.

I ship these two insanely hard, but their dynamic is a really tough one to pinpoint and make work.

They're both very cold and shut off from people in day to day life, so for their relationship to work— they need to be forced together, and they have to be in a situation where their stubbornness pulls them closer rather than pries them apart.

With all of that to keep in mind, bringing in some fluffy aspects is crucial. It makes their connection make more sense. After all, neither one of this girl's is doing random hookups. Not often, anyway.

The fluff ended up coming organically. Even if their performance this chapter was still just a performance and not an actual BDSM scene, aftercare still comes into play.

Hitch and Annie had a far different dynamic because they were friends. They were friends, and experienced in the BDSM scene. They're able to perform without getting emotionally invested— because they don't love each other romantically. There's not this same intimate connection.

As for Mikasa and Annie, it's completely different. Annie loves Mikasa to the point that she's risking quite a lot to keep the girl in her life. Mikasa is new to the scene, but she's enthralled by the idea of letting down her guard and letting someone else pull the reigns for once.

They compliment each other in an intimate, romantic, and s3xual way. The performance itself and the aftermath should reflect that.

So, it does! I found myself smiling quite a bit at the end of the chapter. I really do love these two.

The next chapter will include full fledged smut, thank goodness. I'm both nervous and excited to start writing the chapter. But, for now, I'm probably gonna get some rest.

Thank you all so much for your support. I wouldn't still be writing this fic if I didn't know that there were people out there who enjoyed my work. It makes me smile even when I'm struggling :) I hope to see you all again when I post the next chapter. Thanks so much!!

[florenceisfalling]

YOU!!! HI THERE ITS ME FROM THE COMMENTS HI THERE

ive been roaming your blog for the past hour or so and dude like i said befote i adore your art!! you have such amazing anatomy skills bro- how in the world do you do it!?! gosh i am absolutely in love with your art its not even funny :']]

~krabs :]

YOOOO HEY WHATS UP

you're so sweet?? oh my god??? that's so nice aaaaaa thank you so so much! seriously! your art is wonderful too and im honored that you like mine!

i know this wasn't the point of ur ask entirely but i kinda went on a tangent so...

anatomy is tricky, i have such a hard time with it sometimes- but my best advice is to use lots of references! it's super helpful to work up from drawn references to photo references to studies straight from your brain! over time you learn to separate bodies down into separate building blocks instead of one big confusing thing (something i always struggle with) so that you can a.) make poses easier and b.) have fun and experiment with how they look in your style.

places i find drawn references:

kibbitzer has a million things. very helpful! they also have a whole book of references and studies you can buy!

snuffysbox has draw the squad/draw the ot3 poses in a more cartoonish style, but you gotta give credit & not use them for commercial purposes!!!! always check that kind of thing!!

kim_gilgyu has good refs but since its twitter you might have to do a lot of scrolling to find em :'D

just looking up "art reference" on google images and finding people's twitter & dA accounts through there is super helpful!

places i find photo refs:

adorkastock is a fucking treasure trove of poses, especially action poses and fun stuff. highly recommend!

unsplash is a free-use image site where the photographers don't require payment but appreciate credit or support! their stuff is also good for making moodboards & stuff :D

if you can't find what you need, use a timed camera and take some of your own photos! i have to do this for hand poses a lot...

you can also combine poses! that one antistein drawing i'm really proud of is like the first example that comes to mind, cause i wanted something specific, which meant taking photos of my own hands & knives and photoshopping them onto a photo of 2 people dancing.

another option if you can't find what you want or you wanna go creative: magic poser & justsketchme. some features are for paying or mobile users only, but a lot of it can be done in your browser for free :D it's super handy for making your own references!

tHANK YOU AGAIN FOR YOUR NICE WORDS AND SORRY FOR RAMBLING ABOUT REFERENCES ITS JUST SOMETHING I LOVE TO HELP WITH! PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT AND FIND WHAT YOU HAVE THE MOST FUN WITH!! THATS ALL THANK YOU AGAIN AAAAAAAAa

[mooifyourecows]

Ok maybe a weird question but. When you write fanfics, do you imagine the caharacters in the original medium (as anime characters) or as real people? Is the story in your head animated or live action?

Uhhh well, to be honest, the story in my head is just abstract thought and narration.

Apparently I have a thing called "aphantasia" where I lack the ability to visualize mental imagery. Which is a relatively new realization to me. I didnt know people ACTUALLY see things in their heads until about a year ago lmao. The only imagery I can call up are really vague memories of things I have already seen, but even those images are... not images. If I were to be able to describe it, I guess it'd be like.... a projected image that is shrouded by a semi-opaque sheet... that I can only see just at the very edge if my peripherals. So ya know... not helpful at all.

Its one of the main reasons why I struggle so much to write description in my stories. I just... don't know what things look like other than those really foggy memories of things that might be similar.

I have a somewhat scrappy description of inner monologue that gives me a really basic nudge in the direction of how I feel something should look, but to actually work out details, I have to look up visual references. Just a paragraph of environment description takes forever because I'm constantly typing into Google trying to find exactly what I'm trying to convey. Its a pain in the ass, tbh

So when it comes to how I "visualize" characters as I'm writing them, its kind of a mix of the anime/manga/and live action references. To imagine the characters in situations that their animated selves haven't experienced, I gotta look up real people in those situations wherever I can find them and then smush the two together. I can't even tell you how many hours I've spent watching YouTube videos of various nonsense just so I can describe a scene as accurately as possible in my stories. My recommended page is FULL of scuba diving/aquarium videos rn because of all the research I was doing for my daisugaweek fic

So uhhhh yeah! To answer your question... its both "all of the above" and "none of the above"

[horanclouds18]

Weekend - Liam Payne Analysis

I spent all night yesterday analysing Weekend because Liam mentioned it being a memorable song to him because he was vulnerable while talking about what he wanted to say in this song. He mentioned this in his last Instagram live:

So I decided to dig a little. I still don't get all the lyrics but I'll do my best. I'm sure someone else has already done this but I wanted to do it so bare with me.

“I said it wrong, but I meant it right

But you're the only one who would know

Yeah, so I'm faded, right, but I was the one

I almost lost my nerve for less than I deserve, yeah

I got it wrong, but I made it right

You know I made it right

We said it's done, but it's not done”

So the first verse, he's talking to someone “I said it wrong, but I meant it right, but you're the only one who would know” he's clearly close to this person because they are the only one who know what's wrong about him and he meant to say it. My theory is that “I said it wrong” is because he is drunk/high and he can't talk coherently but he means what he is saying.

So he is “faded” which according to urban dictionary:

Word used on the west coast for being high/stoned/blazed.

I'm pretty sure he is talking about being high because in an interview he said this: (x)

And in a podcast where he talked about mental health (here) he said the solution he put to his problems a lot of times was to drink alcohol. His textual words “I was drunk %90 of the time”.

“I almost lost my nerve for less than I deserve” it's self explanatory I think. He lost it with this problem he had. And then “I got it wrong but I made it right you know I made it right, we said it's done but it's not done” he had a problem but he “solved” it. I think he means he solved it by drinking and “we said it's done but it's not done” means he is always saying he'll stop drinking, he'll stop solving his problems this way, but it's never the last time.

“I come alive on the weekend

I might die on the weekend (might die, might die, might die)

Another line for my demons

I might die on the weekend (might die)

I talk low, but I mean it

I say, "Keep up, " she can't leave it

I come alive on the weekend

I might die on the weekend”

He “comes alive on the weekend” that means partying and then “might die on the weekend” because he drinks too much and doesn't feel so great. “Another line for my demons” I struggled to get this one at first, is he talking to his demons? But then following the same narrative, I went to urban dictionary to search the meaning of line and I was unpleasantly right about it: (x)

A 'line' (for lack of better word) of any powdered drug that is snorted, often through a rolled up 100 dollar bill.

So he wants to stop the voices in his head and for that he does drugs.

(This is so hard to write my baby Liam being so unwell and us not even knowing about it and also I didn't really see the meaning of this song as this until he pointed it out to me and I feel like I let him down)

“I talk low but I mean it” I think this is the reference to “we are the quiet ones” Liam always says to refer to him and Zayn. (Here)

Or just simply that he is high and he is mumbling about his problems. These lines are up to interpretation I guess.

“I say keep up she can't leave it” again we can simply think he is talking about keeping up with his drinking and she can't follow him. If we think in ziam terms Liam telling us to keep up is to please continue analysing and keeping up with what is happening to them at the moment. And so “she can't leave it” the “she” is us and we can't just stop not keeping up with him, you know?

I don't know if the ziam interpretation is thinking about it too much or not, you tell me about this, what do you think? Am I giving it too much thought thinking about ziam here?

“How did we end up here like this (Yeah)

I see the midnight on your lips

Every time you come around

And if there's nothing more than this (Nothing more than this)

That's okay, but one more time before you're gone

You said it's done, but it's not done”

“how did we end up here like this” how did we end up in this mess, problem wise and drunk wise too. Notice he uses ‘we’ and in the podcast about mental health I mentioned earlier he talked about struggling while he was in the band. So ‘we’ could be the band but the next lines I think suggest otherwise because “I see the midnight on your lips” is only ONE more person so in my opinion “we” is two people.

I struggled to understand the meaning behind “I see the midnight on your lips” a lot. First, I thought about it literally, does it mean midnight=partying=alcohol ? But I thought this was impossible because further in the song he tells this person “only you can stop the hurt”.

So what is it?

I thought that it had to have a double meaning of sorts. It had to be a metaphor. So I searched “The midnight” on google and the first search was a band called The Midnight, so I thought this might be the right place. (You can search it up for yourself). So I started analysing the lyrics of some of their songs (all which were released BEFORE LP1) and I found some interesting songs:

River Of Darkness

Glowing windows in the buildings from the elevated train

I see a thousand different stories pass

And faces without names

I forget why I came here

And forget why I stay

And wonder if they'd notice

If I slipped away

What if I kept going

What if I don't get off tonight

What if I ride this to the edges

Through the darkness to the light

Could I find you there?

Could I find you there?

If I slipped away?

What if there's no answer

We're all just hearts that have to fight

Through the dangers of the rapids

Through the darkness to the light

Could I find you there?

Could I find you there?

If I slipped away

Looking at the lyrics at first glance I noticed:

Reference to Through The Dark: “through the darkness to the light”

“A thousand different stories and faces without names” I remember Liam saying in the mental health podcast (please go and listen to it if you haven't) that he used to play different parts of himself in front of different people that weren't necessarily him and that in addition, he hid other parts of himself. Also he mentioned how the media portrays him isn't always true. And well this sentence really speaks that to me.

“I forget why I came here I forget why I stay”: it's like a parallel to “how did we end up here like this”.

“What if I kept going” again do I continue being someone I'm not? Do I continue with this stunt? Or do I stop this once and for all? If we think about ziam it makes perfect sense. They are playing parts, media portraying them as this person they are not (think about the bad boy image they put on Zayn) and the stunts (zerrie, sophiam...)

Let's look at another one:

Los Angeles

One, two, three, four

Fire on the beach

Face to the sky

The stars dance around like Gods in the skies

The gold silhoutte

You take off your clothes

And my heart feels the weight of all I don't know

Memories and mountain tops

Drunk on sunset boulevard

With the city of angels singing on

Maybe this is just a dream

And maybe we are still asleep

But I, I will miss you when I'm gone

Flickers of the canyon fire

It's hands raised like a gospel choir

If we live forever, let us live forever tonight

Helicopters against moonlight

Our holy mother of the midnight

And if we live forever, let us live forever tonight

Tomorrow we'll go

Back to our lives

With sand in our skin and sun in our eyes

But I know the truth

I've seen the signs

And I've seen the golden Gods in disguise

Memories and mountain tops

Drunk on sunset boulevard

With the city of angels singing on

Maybe this is just a dream

And maybe we are still asleep

But I, I will miss you when I'm gone

Flickers of the canyon fire

It's hands raised like a gospel choir

If we live forever, let us live forever tonight

Helicopters against moonlight

Our holy mother of the midnight

And if we live forever, let us live forever tonight

Flickers of the canyon fire

It's hands raised like a gospel choir

If we live forever, let us live forever tonight

Helicopters against moonlight

Our holy mother of the midnight

And if we live forever, let us live forever tonight

Flickers of the canyon fire

It's hands raised like a gospel choir

If we live forever, let us live forever tonight

Helicopters against moonlight

Our holy mother of the midnight

And if we live forever, let us live forever tonight

Things to notice at first glance:

Reference to live forever

Right after the reference to live forever there's a reference to Tonight

Mention of “the midnight”

“The stars dance around like Gods in the skies” this reminded me of You & I “not even the Gods above can separate the two of us” which we all know it's a really special song for ziam. (x)

It's a beautiful love song

This song made me compare the songs Live Forever/Weekend/Tonight and I think there might be some parallels in those songs! But I'll leave that for another post.

There are other songs like “Sunsets” that says “I just feel like I've been stuck here my whole life” and “we could run away just leave never look back I don't care where we go just far away from here” or there is also a song called “Lost Boy” that talks about “I was a lost boy when I met you” and “we were rebels, lone survivors” and did I say there's a reference to fool's gold?

These were just so many coincidences it couldn't just be coincidences right? And then I found a song called “Memories” and it clicked. The band is “The Midnight” and the song was “Memories” looks like a joke right? Another reference to One Direction.

Remember that there was a reference to Through the Dark, a song which Liam co wrote with Louis and we all know the meaning behind this song. There's also You & I in there which is VERY special to ziam. And let's not forget about the song “Alive” which Liam said it was HIS song in the LP Show and that it basically resonates with him. This song could have a queer interpretation (following the ziam narrative) so go and look at the lyrics and think about that: “my mother told me I should go and get some therapy” and “hey it's alright if it makes you feel alive” and “we gotta live before we get older, do what we like we got nothing to prove”. So it was coincidence after coincidence and thought I was in the right place. Remember “I come ALIVE on the weekend”.

So in short “The midnight on your lips” is a bittersweet reference to all that encompasses the life in One Direction and his relationship with Zayn.

And right behind the midnight lyric we have ANOTHER reference to One Direction with “if there's nothing more than this” which the song “more than this” starts with “I'm broken do you hear me?” and this is basically what Weekend is about. Also, Liam sings that part.

“Everybody's got their own vice

Do you think about me when you're alone?

It kinda got to me last night after everyone was gone

If there's one thing that I've learned:

Only you can stop the hurt

Yeah, it's 'bout time that I realize it's a lost fight

I said it's done, but it's not done

No, no, I said it's done, but it's not done

Yeah, yeah, I said it's done, but it's never done”

So this verse made a lot more sense after searching the meaning behind “the midnight on your lips”. So Liam is thinking about this person after everyone is gone (and the party has died down) and he wonders if he (Zayn) is thinking about him too. Why did I think of Zayn here? Because of the parallels I found in Tonight with this song. I will analyse it better in another post but there's this lyric in Tonight: “No matter where you are or where you'll be, when you're feeling yourself, I know you are thinking of me”

When I noticed this I was like:

This is huge because “when you are feeling yourself” could mean something like “after you sober up” or in this case “when everyone was gone” referencing to the party being over.

Only you can stop the hurt Zayn and it's a lost fight to keep solving problems with alcohol and drugs.

Now let me go and cry peacefully in a corner.