#you do if you dont also have a folder of pictures calling him a pathetic bitch
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(My pinterest has a board called "Adam you pathetic bitch"
That's all, I just wanted to share that about me)
#hazbin hotel adam#it has 217 pins#i dont have a problem#you do if you dont also have a folder of pictures calling him a pathetic bitch
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“First Day”
Axel Cluney x Reader
Warnings: Mentions of gore and violence
(hello!! sry if this fic is total garbage and if Axel is OOC, i haven’t tried writing fics like this for a long time. just wanted to show my fav barf boy some love hehe)
Your first day as an honorary X-Force member was far from normal. Wade was beyond thrilled to have a new face on the team, even going as far to ensure you received the best training you could ask for. Your mutant ability made an interesting addition to the team. You had been born with abnormally sharp and long canine teeth, making dentist visits as a kid beyond horrifying Your dentist had put an unsuspecting finger in your mouth and you had nearly bit it clean off. He was fine after a multitude of stitches, but your mother was sure he stopped being a dentist after that. Wade had referred to you as “Toothy” and “Dracula” more times than you could count, Domino finally suggesting “Saber” as your superhero name. It had stuck, finally making you feel apart of the team.
Everyone was extremely kind and helpful, the other members frequently offering to train with you and assist you on missions. The only member you hadn’t worked with yet was “Zeitgeist” or Axel Cluney as you had come to know. He was definitely an intriguing individual, not to mention extremely intimidating. He was tall; his arms and shoulders decorated with...odd tattoos. The first day you met him was when Wade had first recruited you and brought you back to the X-Mansion and introduced you to the rest of the team. All the other X-Force members were making a fuss over you, excited to have a new face around and to act as your mentors. However, Axel was the only one who stood to the side and leaned against the door frame, observing you with a odd look on his face. You wanted to introduce yourself then, but the ‘eat shit and die’ tattoo peeking out from the front of his mesh tank top told you otherwise.
That had been a few months ago and you were officially done with your training today. You and him were acquainted, but never been on a mission together. Wade quickly noticed this and worked to immediately change that.
“(Your name), as an official member of the X-Force, today will be your first official mission.” he said, excitedly tugging your arm to get you to follow him into one of the many rooms in the house. An assortment of papers and folders were strewn across the table. Wade motioned for you to sit down with him as he began to explain your first mission.
“Nothing too crazy, just some asshole who’s disguising his corporate business as an underground human trafficking ring.” Wade said, sliding you a manilla folder. Upon opening the cover, you were met with a photo of the supposed man you were being sent after.
“He looks like he was born to do this.” you commented, noticing just how abnormally creepy this man was. Wade laughed at this and pointed to the address scrawled onto a post-it note on top of the picture.
“That’s your place.” he said. “It’s his warehouse about an two hours outside of the city. He should be there all day.” You nodded in understanding and stood up to go gather what you would need for the mission. Your weapons were kept mostly in the room they had assigned you, so you grabbed the dagger you kept under your bed. It probably wouldn’t be needed with your ability and all, but always a nice plan B. You went back downstairs and stopped halfway down when you saw who was standing with Wade. Axel was suited up for a mission, his bright green vomit-guard mask held in one hand. You hesitantly climbed down the rest of the stairs, already feeling apprehensive.
“As fuckin’ dandy as it would be to send you on this mission by yourself, I thought otherwise.” Wade said. “Barf boy here will be your babysitter-I mean partner.” Wade pushed the both of you towards the door to where your jet would be waiting. “Have fun, you crazy kids!” he called after the two of you. “And don’t even think about getting fresh with my student, ya fuckin’ clown!” The door slammed behind you guys. You awkwardly glanced at Axel, feeling embarrassment already beginning to bubble to the surface. He practically towered over you, his green eyes piercing into your own.
“Let’s go, then.” he said, making his way towards the jet. You stammered out in agreement, quickly following behind. You took a seat across from him and the jet’s door closed automatically as you sat down. It rumbled and shook as it shot into take-off, causing you to jerk backward as it did. Axel began to adjust his suit and pulled his mask over his mouth and eyes. You occasionally stole glances at him and watched his movements curiously. You felt awkward and wanted to discuss the mission, but you were afraid of being an annoying rookie who asked too many questions. He peered at you over his mask.
“Excited?” he called to you over the whir of the jet engine. You flashed him a small smile, your pointy teeth poking out as you did. He jokingly grinned back, his mask lifting with the movement of his smile. The two of you sat in silence until Axel stood up, the ramp of the jet lowering again, signalling it was time to go. Axel tossed you a parachute backpack and you attached it to yourself, adrenaline beginning to course through your veins as you approached the ramp.
“See you at the bottom!” Axel shouted, adjusting his parachute one last time and jumping off the ramp. You had made this jump numerous times on other missions, but you had never quite gotten used to it. You pulled goggles over your eyes and blinked furiously as if to snap yourself out of your fear. Your heart was practically forcing itself out of your chest as you took a deep breath and dove off the ramp. Wind whipped through your hair as you hurtled towards the open field coming into view below you. Axel was further down from you, simply a green spec from where you were in comparison. You saw his parachute burst from the pack attached to him and he began to float towards the field. You soon did the same thing, however not having much luck. The force of deploying your parachute jerked you to the right, sending you floating straight towards the woods near the field. You braced yourself for what was to come, half expecting you collide head first with it. To your dismay and embarrassment, your parachute became entangled with tree branches, leaving you dangling there like an idiot. Bright green leaves floated down from the impact you made, one sticking to your hair. You wracked your brain from how to get yourself out of this situation. Your mind instantly went to the dagger you brought, but it was in your belt, which was unreachable to how you were positioned. You also tried to unclip the pack from your chest, but it was ironically jammed.
“Axel..?” you pathetically called out, turning your head to see him walking towards you with his parachute trailing behind him. He unclipped it from himself, the parachute crumpling to the ground.
“How’s the weather up there?” he mocked, putting a hand to his brow to shield his eyes from the sun as he looked up at you. You scowled at his comment, desperately trying to reach for your dagger again.
“Don’t just stand there!” you yelled, squirming around. “My dagger is in my belt pocket.” Axel chuckled. You were beyond embarrassed. This was your first mission with Axel and you had already made a huge scene. The tree wasn’t tall enough for him to have to climb up that far up and cut you down, so he was able to reach inside your belt pocket and grab your dagger. Luckily, he was tall enough to do so. He struggled to cut the rope that held you captive, the dagger barely making a dent. What kind of parachute was this damn durable? It seemed unrealistic. It also didn’t help that you didn’t sharpen your dagger enough this morning.
“Hold on,” Axel said, slipping the dagger back into your belt and stepping back. “Don’t move.” He moved behind you and the tree shake, then you heard him cough. You immediately realized what he was about to do.
“Wait, what the fu-”, You barely got out the rest of your sentence before you crashed to the ground. You turned around to see the ropes and part of the tree’s branches were eroded away. Axel approached you, turning on his head to spit on the ground.
“You absolute, fucking asshole!” you shouted, checking your body for burns. “You could have killed me!” Axel grinned and held out a hand to help you up.
“I know what I’m doing,” he responded. “I just spit on it a little.” You begrudgingly took his hand and dusted yourself off. The noise the two of you had made had caught some attention, four men were sprinting towards you, most likely henchmen. The warehouse was at least a mile away from where you guys had landed, meaning they had seen you come in. This mission was already a disaster.
“We got company.” Axel yelled, immediately running towards the group of men approaching the two of you. He projectile vomited on the first guy that got too close and the man screeched in agony, stumbling backwards and colliding with the others. You kicked into fighting mode and launched yourself at a guy who now had Axel in a headlock. You sunk your fangs into his neck, ripping out his jugular and sending a geyser of blood shooting into the air. You and Axel picked off the men fairly quickly, your fighting styles syncing up faster than you anticipated. It wasn’t long before you were surrounding by the corpses of the henchmen, the two of you spattered with blood. Your mouth had a dribble of blood dripping from it, which you promptly wiped away. The two of you began making your way towards the warehouse, keeping your eyes peeled for any more surprise visitors. The warehouse was huge, guards placed at every entrance. You and Axel crept along the border, keeping low and close to the woods. You spotted an entrance towards the back that could be a way in and nudged Axel to show him.
“That’ll draw too much attention,” he said. “We should try to get to the roof.” He pointed to a ladder that was close to the entrance your pointed out earlier. “There.” he whispered. He sprinted towards the ladder, climbing up it quickly and throwing himself onto the roof as quietly as he could. He laid low and waved frantically for you to follow. You made a mad dash for the ladder but a guard spotted you and tried to cut you off. You bowled him over, not wasting any time to bite down on his cheek. You forced yourself to get up and scrambled up the ladder. Breathing heavily, you watched Axel pull open a hatch door towards the center of the roof. You crawled over to him and peered down the hatch. It led straight into the warehouse and gave you a clear shot into saving the women most likely being held captive there. You watched a man in a suit inspect a frail, underfed woman. She was being forced to stand up by a guard pointing a gun to her back. Other women cowered in fear as they watched the man inspect all of them. You assumed the man in the suit was your guy. You needed to take him and the rest of his men out, then get the women to safety. You couldn’t help but notice just how many henchmen this guy had, they were literally everywhere. It was going to be tough, especially it just being the two of you. You needed to be strategic. Axel must have seen the worried look on your face because surprisingly, he placed his hand over yours.
“Everything ok?” he questioned, looking concerned. He quickly retracted his hand looking sheepish, as if he had done that without meaning to. You nodded.
“There’s a lot of enemies.” you observed. “I’m just anxious that’s all.” Axel cracked his knuckles.
“We’ll be just fine.” he responded. “Just follow my lead and try to think of it as another training session.” You couldn’t help but smile. Your anxiety began to loosen its grip on you, giving you the confidence you needed to focus.
“Let’s fucking go.” you said. You jumped down into the warehouse, the man in the suit yelling out in surprise and the captured women screamed. You tackled him to the ground, your jaw snapping towards his face as he tried to push your face away. Bullets began to rain down as the henchmen tried to take you out, forcing you to duck for safety. Axel followed just after you did, spilling vomit from his mouth as he landed directly onto a guard running below him. He dove for safety as well, the crates placed sporadically around the warehouse providing minimal cover. The women were being forced outside by the man in the suit as he frantically looked over his shoulder. Axel began throwing punches and unleashing streams of vomit onto enemy after enemy. You quickly joined his side and you two began taking out enemies twice as fast. He would spew acid onto the floor, forcing henchmen to slip and fall. They would either get horribly burned from the vomit or stunned enough to give you time to land a swift bite to the neck. The two of you moved unpredictably fast, the bullets being shot at you almost unnoticeable. The henchmen were taken out in minutes, leaving only the man in the suit trying to force the women he had been keeping hostage into a large truck outside. Axel dashed ahead of you, grabbing the man from the front seat and throwing him to the ground. He cowered in fear, holding his shaking hands over his face. Axel stepped back to let you do the honors.
“Please,” he begged. “I have a family.” You approached him slowly, rage building up inside of you. “Plea-,” the man wasn’t able to get another word out because you had already wrapped your jaw around his neck.
“Rot in hell.” you said, spitting his own blood back at him as he sputtered and clasped his hands over the open wound on his neck.
The ride home had a different feel to it than when the mission had first started, for obvious reasons of course. You were mentally and physically exhausted. You and Axel sat next to each other this time, you being so tired, you hardly noticed that your knee was touching his. He became tense when you rested your head against his, but eventually relaxed. The two of you sat like that until you arrived back at the mansion. The women rescued from the warehouse were brought to the local police station, successfully marking the end of the mission. Wade threw open the door and pulled you and Axel into a group hug, chattering excitedly about how proud of you he was. The rest of X-Force congratulated you and asked you two questions about the mission. You later excused yourself to the bathroom to clean up. You stared at your reflection in the mirror. The person staring back at you was someone you didn’t recognize.You were an X-Force member now. You were supposed to kill, but it never got any easier. You turned on the sink faucet and splashed water onto your face, the water tinged pink as the blood swirled down the drain. You dried off and opened the door to rejoin the rest of the team. You nearly jumped when you saw Axel waiting for you outside the door.
“Hey.” he said, giving you a small smile. “How are you?” You ran your hand through your hair, feeling some dried blood near the ends. You needed a shower. You suddenly were very aware of your physical appearance.
“I’m alright,” you said, giving him a shrug. “Just not entirely used to the gore..and the vomit.” You instantly regretted that last part. Axel chuckled.
“Trust me, it takes some getting used to.” he said. “But you’re tough.” You smiled, suddenly a swelling feeling rising from your chest. Axel was standing closer than usual to you. You both stood in silence for a moment before you broke it.
“Thanks for being my babysitter today,” you said. “You’re quite the partner.” Axel laughed.
“Any time, I’m open to doing it again.” he said. You walked past him before he called after you. “(Your name),” You turned to look back at him. “We should grab a drink sometime.”
“This weekend,” you said. “You can pick me up.” Axel did his best to hide his smile as he watched you go join the others.
“You got it.”
#axel cluney#zeitgeist#deadpool#deadpool 2#axel cluney x reader#zeitgeist x reader#bill skasgård#bill skarsgard
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