#you didn't read that because i didn't write it 🥰😘

[somedaytakethetime]

I LOVE HIM WHEN HE'S SMILEY

[getitoutofmymindwrites]

The crushing | joel miller x f!reader, 5.2k

Summary: This is the story of a man who had everything in the palm of his hand and traded it all for an empty space in the hollow of his heart. Or This story follows Joel, two to three years after he cheated on his wife.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, ANGST, cheater!Joel, Joel's POV, this is NOT “The Falling” from Joel's POV, brief mention of smut (p i v) but nothing too graphic (I think), self-loathing, depression, therapy, flashbacks and memories from the past, alcohol consumption, Tommy being a supportive brother (eventually), as always let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: Ok, so, Joel gave me a whiplash on this one, he was either staring at me through the screen giving me nothing, or he was mumbling unintelligibly in my ear while I was trying to keep up with him. It started out as a final chapter, but I really think that this part should be Joel's POV and the next and -probably- final one should be the resolving, however that may come. I guess it can be read as a standalone, but if you're interested, it's a sequel to “The Falling”. I edited it seven thousand times because I kept adding things along the way, so I hope it all makes some sense and there are not too many mistakes.. Thank you for taking the time to read anything I write! Love you all! 🥰😘

P.S.: I just wanted to take a moment and let you know that I really appreciate everyone who has read, liked, commented, reblogged and asked about “The Falling”. I honestly didn't think a single soul would take the time to read that kind of story. It means more than you know and I didn’t take lightly how close to home this fic hit for some people; yet you’ve given it a chance, sharing some of your own experiences with me. I love you all, take care and I'll see you -hopefully- in the comments! 🥹🫂

Dividers by @cafekitsune & @saradika-graphics

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...need your reassurance...

...your only focus…

...for the foreseeable future...

He did make it his sole focus. Because of course, he closed the deal, even after he left that damn table like a madman. He still found a way to get what he wanted. That's the man he was. And he wasn't sure if he hated himself for it or not. But self-loathing was a daily occurrence now, so one more reason added to the list was nothing he couldn't handle.

For two years he would wake up every day, is it called waking up if he doesn’t sleep at all?, he would work his ass off, he would go home, he would sink into despair and then he would start all over again the next day. A vicious cycle consisting of 730 days in a row. The deafening silence within the walls of the house was excruciating, the loneliness was unbearable. Even the light penetrating through the windows seemed different than when you were there with him, a dullness surrounding every corner of the now barely lived in space.

You. He hadn’t seen your face in 730 days. He hadn’t smelled your scent or touched your soft skin. He barely listened to your voice anymore, any form of unavoidable communication, you preferred to be conducted by the lawyers, or via text messages, at the most. At the 731st one, he finally knew, something had to change. He couldn’t repeat another day, like all the others that came and went. He simply couldn’t.

Tommy suggested that therapy might help Joel, a few times, but he refused every one of them. Maria was keeping her distance, her place was delicate, being his brother’s wife but also his wife’s best friend. Surprisingly, she was the one who finally got through to him.

“Are you gonna stay a recluse for the rest of your miserable life, then?” Maria wonders, switching her gaze between Joel and the dining room. Everything was untouched, as you left them when you moved out, but the place felt empty, depressing, probably mirroring Joel’s existence.

Joel sighs, closing his eyes briefly. “I’m not a recluse..”, he snarls through his teeth, rolling his eyes at her. He was more than eager to be done with the dinner his sister-in-law insisted on having in his house and be left alone, in his natural state. Alone. Infuriating woman.

“What do you call that?”, Maria persists, goddamn lawyer to the bone.

“What?!” Joel spits back pissed off, looking at his brother next, for support.

“That!” she gestures around his body and his surroundings. “The way you go on for the past two years! Either get over it or do something about it!”, she doesn’t hold back, even when Tommy proposes a gentler approach. Yeah, look where it got you, is the paid answer, so Tommy steps back, shaking his head and raising his hands up in surrender.

“You’ve got him on a leash, hm?”, Joel jokes absentmindedly, “Can you breathe alright, Tommy boy?”, earning himself a hard glare from Maria.

“Maybe the wrong Miller is on a leash..” Maria mutters, causing Tommy’s eyes to widen in horror.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Joel retorts doing a double back at her.

“Means that freedom is for those who can bear it.”, Maria throws her napkin on her plate and leaves the room. Joel remains silent, pondering the meaning of her words. It would be a long time before he understood what she meant.

Therapy was hard.

Therapy was hard because he had to do it for himself. He had to concentrate on himself. He thought, being the contractor that he was, that he would walk into the room, get the answers he needed and fix his marriage, just as he rearranged the bricks and the wood and the steel on the construction sites.

But this wasn’t about his marriage. His marriage and the way it crumbled down was the aftermath, he came to learn. It was the outcome of insecurities, selfishness, lack of communication, ungratefulness.

He got it all wrong. Everything. Every little thing. He had to rewire his brain and change every point of view he was holding onto. Honesty. Honesty was the key.

“Why didn’t you reach out to your wife after that night?”, his therapist insists.

“I respected her boundaries.”, Joel was quick to respond.

“And what were those?”

“She didn’t want to see me.”

“Did she say that?”

“No-, I mean-, the way she left that night, she didn’t say much in general. But she blocked my number, so.”, he shrugs in defence.

“So, how can you be so sure that she didn't want to see you? Even if you're right, it doesn't mean that she didn't expect a reaction from you, or that you weren't allowed to try, if that’s what you wanted.”

“Why would she? I upset her, she needed time to think, work things out.”, Joel explains.

The therapist swipes her fingers over her lips, contemplating her approach. “Joel, you walk into your bedroom, into what is supposed to be a safe place and you see your partner with another person in an intimate moment. How does that make you feel? Just say the first words that come to mind.”, his therapist changes the point of view.

Joel shudders just at the thought of it. You, naked, flushed, lips parted and swollen, skin sweaty, breaths short and pupils blown wide, coming for anyone other than him. It would utterly destroy him. “Furious, pissed, betrayed, heartbroken.. I think I would lose it, if I’m honest.” he admits instantly, in his haste to throw the abomination of this image from his thoughts.

“I see. But in her case, you think your wife was just upset?”

“No, of course not.” Joel slightly frowns, shaking his head.

“Do you think she felt all those feelings that you just described to me?”

“I believe so, yes.”, god this is so hard.

“You believe so?” the therapist pushes, again.

Joel’s nostrils flare from the sharp inhale, “I know so.”

“So, she wasn’t just upset.” the therapist concludes and Joel agrees without meeting her eyes, “No, she wasn’t.”

Over time, Joel came to realize that his choice of words was a subconscious attempt to diminish the seriousness of his actions.

“You said in a previous session that you gave space to your wife to work things out.”

“Yeah, it was only fair.”, Joel confirms.

“So, it was hard for you to give her that space?”

“Yes, of course, I missed her every day.”

“Was that a constant in your relationship?”, the therapist wonders.

“I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

“How did you work things out as a couple, before? I assume you had difficult times as partners, no?”

“Nothing major to be honest, my wife was a very calm and reasonable person. If anything occurred she would talk to me about it.”

“And how did you respond to that?”

“Uh, I was there to listen, we always found a solution together as a couple.”

“Hmhm, so, what changed this time?”

“What do you mean?” He knew exactly what she meant.

“Why didn’t you talk to her? Communicate with her? Maybe help her see your side of things, like you did before, find your way out of this together, as partners.” his therapist explains. “And even before the infidelity, did you let her know that something was bothering you, that you felt differently?”

"I didn't feel differently about my wife. My feelings for her never changed.", he immediately corrects her. "My love for her was never the problem," he confesses and it's the first time since his therapy began that he's shared something so personal, so private.

“But there was a problem, something was wrong if you felt the need to be intimate with another woman. So, why did you keep that from her?”

Joel opens his mouth already knowing he does not have an answer. Or that he doesn't want to give one. He shakes his head, raising his brows in a silent admission that he can’t answer that. Or he won't. His gaze is fixed on a loose thread on the fabric of the couch, his fingers keep picking on it.

“Joel?”

“I- I don’t know what you want me to say, I don’t know.” he keeps shaking his head. He can’t answer that. He won't.

He was so angry when he left the session that day. He was so angry at you. He was angry at your honesty, your clarity, your courage to have a mind of your own and to speak it freely, knowing full well that probably no one else shared the same opinions as you did. That's what he loved most about you, but now he hated it.

“Own it, Joel. Own what you have done. At least that way it will be worth something. Otherwise it was all for nothing.”

This was one of the last things you said to him on the phone, while he was trying to persuade you to change your mind about the divorce. You were always so brave about those matters. Matters of the heart, of integrity. He remembers you always talking about things that he found admirable but utopian. Easy in theory, hard in practice.

“I need to be able to sleep at night. I need to own my decisions; not because I’m always right, far from it, but at least I know I’m being honest with myself. And that matters.” he recalls one of your late-night talks.

You usually found it easier to share your most vulnerable thoughts once you were thoroughly fucked and satiated. When Joel held you in his arms, your breaths almost shared over the same pillow, your scents and your fluids mixed together.

“We’re all imperfect beings, flawed; we all feel embarrassed when we fuck up,” you continue, “it’s hard to admit our mistakes to others, I get that. But deep down we always know what we’re doing and why we’re doing it. Admitting it only helps us to be present in our lives.”

“Be present?”, Joel seems fascinated by the way your mind weaves your thoughts together into deeply rooted beliefs.

“Yes, my love, there's no greater freedom than to live your life truthfully.” you smile at him, softly. Your sleepy eyes roam his face affectionately. Your fingertips caress his jawline, your thumb pressing lightly against the bare patch of his beard. He can feel your devotion pouring from your fingers and sinking into his skin at that moment.

“That’s one of my greatest fears, you know. Living my life in ignorance, in a lie.”, you whisper your deepest insecurity against his soft lips. His hold on you tightens as he rolls you onto your back, nestling his hips between your welcoming thighs. You are safe in these arms. His arms. You surrender to him, body and soul. You can feel his growing erection pressing between your folds, already wet from your combined releases. He tenderly brushes his lips against yours and slowly licks his way into your parted mouth, as he intertwines his fingers with yours. He enters you in one fluid, slow thrust, his warm exhale cooling your wet lips. “Then let me give you something real.”

Thinking back to those moments, Joel couldn't reconcile himself to the fact that he was the one who had brought that fear of yours to life. What broke him was that it was not a lie. Your life together had not been a lie. He loved you. In fact, he was burning up for you. He was a man of control, but not with you. Never with you. You consumed his every thought; being around you for too long made his lungs constrict in pain, begging for a deep breath. Sometimes he was worried sick that if he completely let himself love you like he needed to, he would suffocate you. He loved you. And it killed him that his actions suggested otherwise.

But at some point he had to be honest with himself. He was just protecting his ego. He was trying to get the upper hand out of a shitty, compromising situation. He wasn't being thoughtful, he was being selfish. He was biding his time. He thought the longer he left ‘it’ untouched, the less it would hurt when the inevitable time of confrontation came. He was scared out of his mind that he would lose you forever. No second chances, no redemption, no reconciliation.

No lingering scent on his pillow as your hair pools there, under his chin, as you nestle your face between his neck and shoulder, breathing him in. No laughter through the enormous house, damn, why did he build it so big; you never clarified what the disbelief in your eyes meant when he said he built this house for you, while he pulls you up on your feet for a silly cowboy dance.

No more gentle touches, no more noses brushing together as a silent goodbye in the kitchen before you rush off to work. No more turning around just before you open the door to leave, running to him like a little girl, giving him quick, hungry pecks on the lips while he laughs on your mouth, squeezes your butt cheek and slaps it playfully to say goodbye. Later, baby, he would promise you, his teeth nipping at your earlobe and he could feel your skin crawling with anticipation.

No more I love yous, either breathed, either whispered, either panted, as he makes a home for himself inside your warmth.

When did he fuck you last? He used to have you every day. You craved it every day. You craved him. Why did he stop telling you he loved you every chance he got? When was the last time you said it?

A week before that fateful night, when you touched him longingly, aching for him to touch you back and he told you he had work to do, he wasn’t a teenager anymore. Why the hell did he say that? Why did he sit there and watch the light fading from your eyes? I love you, you said with a sigh against his temple and walked out of his office defeated. Why did you say that? Did you know? Did you suspect? Why didn’t you fight him? You should have said something, anything, pushed him, punched him in the chest, woken him up. Would he have woken up? Or did he need that to come to his senses? Does he have to fall? Does this falling ever stop? Does he have to let you go? Will you come back to him? Does he deserve you?

Days blurred seamlessly into one another. Joel drifted further and further away from everyone. The house haunted him, all the progress he was making within the therapy walls was dissipating once he stepped inside the cold space of his empty house. Leaving the confines of it was his first thought in the morning, while he hurriedly dressed to go to his office far earlier than necessary and his last when he closed his eyes, as he laid his weary limbs on the couch, chasing still your now long gone scent on its fabric, knowing another sleepless night was his only companion until the first rays of sunlight hit the floor-to-ceiling windows to announce the beginning of another day.

People at work tiptoed around him, not knowing how to act. It was as if he was there, but not really. He was focused solely on the Marks project, mechanically going through board meetings, paperwork and supervising the construction site. He. Just. Wasn’t. There.

Joel, will you please sign the papers?

He simply stares at the text message for a good full minute, his thumbs hovering over the screen of his phone. This was one of the rare occasions you had initiated communication with him, always about the progress of the divorce.

No, no, I won’t, the little toddler in him screams, stamping his little feet on the ground.

The papers are not ready.

Joel texts back. He keeps it simple, frightened he might not get an answer back.

Joel, we both know they are. I don’t want any of your assets or your money; this is an easy signature, please.

An easy signature? You think he cares about the houses, or the cars, or the money?

You know I can’t accept that. The house is yours and so is a good part of the money.

The point was to share this house together, Joel, don’t you think us splitting up kind of defeats the purpose? And what on earth makes you think I would ever want to go back in there?

So, there’s nothing I can do to make this easier for you?

Easier? You think money or property can make up for what you’ve done?

Of course not, I wasn’t implying anything like that. Just wanna do something for you, anything.

Can you turn back time?

Of course, he can't. So, he doesn't know what to say to that. He just keeps staring at the screen, lost in thought. After 2 minutes another text follows.

?

You know I can’t..

Sign the papers. Please.

“Is there anything in particular you want to talk about today, or should I take the lead?”

“Actually I’ve been thinking a lot about that night.”, Joel suggests for the first time. He usually lets the therapist decide where to steer the conversation, then simply refuses to elaborate until he feels ready to talk.

“What about it?”, he shifts his gaze from the window to the direction of her voice.

“I should probably rephrase that. I’m always thinking about that night, repeating it in my head again and again and I’m troubled by something I realized.”

His therapist nods to signal that she's listening.

“Why did she just leave? The more I think about it, the more it doesn’t make sense to me. She just left. No shouting, no breaking things, no attacking either me or-”, her. “Why she didn’t stay? Why she didn’t insist that I leave? She was just- so quiet.”

The therapist smiles in recognition of Joel's near breakthrough. They were beginning to get somewhere, his empathy nudging him under the surface.

“I'm really glad you mentioned that, Joel, so I'd like to take you back to that night and try to understand what might have been going through your wife's mind at that moment," she explains.

“So, she walks into the house, finds her safe space violated by her husband, and she chooses to handle the situation calmly and quietly-” Joel tries to stop her, but she already knows what he's going to ask. “I can't tell you why she chose that path, that's for her to answer, only she knows why.” His therapist continues, “She is making one request of you and one request only, can you tell me what it is?”

“She asked me to leave the house.”

“Hmhm.” the therapist looks at him expectantly.

“I just wanted to talk to her.”, Joel elaborates, “I thought that if I refused to leave, she would accept to listen to me.”

“So you forced your needs on her, while she was in a particularly fragile state of mind.”

“I should have made my intentions clearer, you mean?”

“I mean, that maybe you shouldn’t have had any expectations in the first place. Why do you think was so important to you, to explain yourself right at that moment?”

“Because I knew it was probably the last time I would see her for a while, I just wanted to ease her pain, why is that so wrong? Should I be indifferent? Would that be better?”

“Did it ever occur to you that you might be depriving her of her right to choose?” Come on, Joel, break some eggs.

Joel now begins to make connections. He rubs his hand over his face, the realization of what has really happened crushing him. “Oh, god, I-” He's been so selfish from the start. He hasn't shown you any respect, not even at this delicate moment. He didn't give you a choice as to whether you wanted to listen to him or not. He didn't even let you choose where you wanted to stay. He just made you leave the house. Did he make you believe he wanted you to leave? That he wanted her to stay? Because he didn’t. Fuck. “-I never thought about it like that.”

Fuck.

How could he be so blind? Why was he so blind?

His therapist insisted on it. Because no matter how much progress Joel made over the course of a year, he never revealed the true reason behind his infidelity.

“Joel, we’ve talked about a lot of things; you’ve tried really hard to make this all about your wife and about understanding what she was feeling and how your actions have affected her, but as I keep reminding you”, she smiles understandingly, “you’re the one in therapy, you need to heal your wounds before you even attempt to heal hers. And although it is in fact a really noble thought, this” she gestures between them, “can only work if you do it for yourself. I know it may sound selfish, but I promise you, it is not. It is the exact opposite.”

Fuck.

“Yeah?”, his voice hoarse from sleep as he answers the door after the insistent knock at it. Tommy looks at him surprised once he opens it, “You’re sleeping, already?”. No, he wasn’t. He wouldn’t call it that. But when he goes almost a week without any proper rest, passing out is the right word for what he’s doing. “Yeah, I guess I dosed off..” Joel lies. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you.” Tommy responds as he squeezes himself through the door to enter the house. “Yeah, sure, come on in.”, Joel mutters under his breath. “You just saw me at work this morning, is everything all right?”

“I just came to check on you.” Tommy confesses uncomfortably.

“You could have called.”

“Would you have answered?” Tommy deadpans.

Touché.

“Tell Maria I’m fine, Tommy, no need to worry about me; go spend the night where it counts.”, Joel replies in an attempt to push him away, as he walks farther into the house, rounding the kitchen island.

“Hey, brother, I’m here, I am here for you.” Tommy’s eyes narrow in pain and concern as he stares at his sibling's back, following behind him.

Joel exhales hard through his nose, his grip tight as he grabs the edges of the counter, his head lowering between his shoulder blades.

“You shouldn’t, nobody should.” Joel sighs, rubbing the pads of his fingers across his forehead.

“Ok, that’s enough.” Tommy snaps at him. “Enough self-loathing, enough resignation. Enough. You’ve punished yourself enough.”

Joel laughs at that. “Is that right? Is it enough for you? What about her?” he asks, his head turned to the side, looking at his brother over his shoulder.

“What?” Tommy is genuinely confused.

Joel turns his back, resting his waist on the edge of the counter, now looking straight at Tommy. “I should have what? Just get on with my life? Let it all be water under the bridge? Disrespect her even more?”

“Jesus..” Tommy mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand, the other resting on his hip, his eyes shut in frustration.

“Are you doing this for her? Does she even know that?”

“It doesn’t matter, Tommy!” Joel raises his voice, exasperated. “I’m not doing this for her, I’m not doing anything for her, apparently and that’s the problem.”, his voice breaks, the lump in his throat too big to push down. “She’s not here anymore, Tommy.” he’s standing fully on his feet now, pushing himself away from the counter, leaning slightly forward, like he’s trying to make his brother understand; his eyes are glazed, Tommy had never seen him so devastated before. “She’s gone. I’ve lost her.”, his palms clenched in fists in front of his chest, resisting the urge to wrap them around his shirt and rip it to shreds, as he wants to do with his heart.

“I thought therapy was working..” Tommy whispers, his eyes dropping to the floor beneath him.

“Oh, it’s working, all right!” Joel chuckles in irony, sniffing his nose. “I’m getting a front-row seat, witnessing what a piece of shit I am-”

“Hey!” Tommy tries to cut him off.

“-what on earth was she doing with me to begin with, is beyond me.”

“HEY!” Tommy's eyes bulge out of his sockets, angry at his brother's self-deprecating words. Joel bends his waist forward, puts his elbows on the island in front of him and lets his head sink in again.

“Ok.” Tommy breathes deeply to ground himself, his hands in a position of a prayer in front of his mouth, “Ok, we could both use a drink.” he realizes, as he moves to open the cupboard to grab two tumblers and the whiskey from the shelf with the drinks. “..or five.”

The two brothers drink their first round in silence, both calming their nerves down. Tommy refills their glasses without asking; he knows this is going to be a long night.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” Tommy begins, pushing Joel’s drink back towards him. Joel wringles his brows in confusion, “What are you talking about? You’re always there for me.”

“No, I haven’t, not really.” Tommy admits, “I let Maria take over when all this happened and I’m sorry.”

“There was nothing you could do, Tommy, don’t sweat it.”

“Let me say this, please.” Tommy raises his hand, his palm facing his brother. “I was just- fuck, we all knew how much you loved her, how much you loved each other, so when it all went down, I just didn’t know how to deal with it. What to say to you, how to comfort you. I didn't know how to deal with you.”

“You blamed me.” Joel says matter-of-factly.

“No-”, Tommy weakly refuses but Joel shakes his head dismissively, interrupting him. “It’s ok, Tommy, you should.”

Tommy looks embarrassed, his cheeks slightly pinkish, not only from the whiskey. “It’s just that I- I couldn’t reconcile the image of the man you were with her, with.. you know..”, he stutters.

“..the image of a cheater. Say it.” Joel adds.

Tommy shakes his head, like he still can't believe what's happened. “Besides, while she was staying with us those first few weeks I saw how devastated she was, man- she was a shell of a woman, so I was confused, I didn’t know how-”

“Tommy. Tommy, it’s fine.” Joel feels his skin crawl visualizing you like that in his head, cutting his brother off once again; he deserves every ounce of mistrust and he knows it.

“No, it’s not.” Tommy insists. “Yes, you fucked up. Brother, you really did. You did a number on her-”, Joel’s body tenses instantly at his brother’s words, his jaw clenching as his eyes darken, moving down to his hands, his grip on the tumbler tightening, his knuckles turning white and Tommy stops abruptly, “shit, sorry, I didn’t mean-”, his face twitches with regret.

“It’s the truth. That’s exactly what I did.” Joel’s gaze seems detached as if he's somewhere else right now.

“What I meant to say, is that I should have been there for you in spite of what has happened. I can see you're suffering, it's taking its toll on you, it has been for some time now; tell me what I can do. How can I help you?” Tommy seems almost desperate, like he’s the one in need of redemption.

Your text flashes through his mind, can you turn back time?, making him smile bitterly.

“Can you turn back time?” Joel's repeating your question and as the words leave his mouth he can feel your presence next to him. That's the most he felt of you for the last three years. He's almost blissful.

“You know I can't.” Tommy sighs. Joel laughs earnestly, the irony of the moment too good not to appreciate.

“Joel, brother, please, just talk to me. Help me understand. You act like you’re the one who’s been cheated on. So, what happened? Why did you do it?” Tommy is pleading with him to give him anything.

Silence fills the room for much longer than either of them would like. Joel feels torn between telling his brother everything or keeping his mouth shut. He wants to tell him, he hasn’t told a soul, but he’s not sure he can get the words out. He’s not sure he can bear to hear the words coming out of his mouth. He’s not sure he can substantiate it, make it real. Because that’s how it feels. He talks about it and it becomes real.

But maybe this is the right thing to do. That’s what needs to be done. He needs to talk about it. He needs to tell the truth and admit the pain he’s caused. Make it real for you, too. Perhaps it is time for him to give you what is rightfully yours. Acknowledgment.

Joel’s made up his mind. He’s gonna talk to Tommy. He lifts his glass to down his drink for some liquid courage, freezing his hand in mid-air as the next words fall from his brother’s mouth. “First of all, who was it?”

“What?” Joel's eyes search Tommy’s through his glass for an explanation.

“Who did you do?”, Tommy clarifies.

Joel feels like he’s been struck by lightning. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Who did you fuck, Joel?”, Tommy begins to feel confused, are they not on the same page here?

“You don’t know?”, Joel can barely speak now, his voice low in shock.

“No one does, not even Maria; she never told anyone.”

You told nobody? Not even your best friend? Why on earth would you do that? Did you feel ashamed? Was it just too much to talk about?

But his brain takes pity on him, helping him for once to understand. He’s connecting the dots while your voice fills the corners of his mind through his memories. His head is swarming with images of you standing in that walk-in closet, remembering what you said the last time he saw you. You’re the one I married, not her. I expected better from you, Joel, not her.

You were right.

It didn’t matter who it was. That is why. He was the one making the choice. He was the one breaking his promises, breaking your trust, breaking your heart; breaking you. He was the one who should have known better. He was the one who should have been honest. Easy in theory, hard in practice.

He feels a fresh wave of pain scattering through his body. He welcomes it. Damn, he’s craving it. He’s glad you chose to withhold the identity of the woman. Not because somehow it’s making it easier for him to defend himself, on the contrary.

There’s no one else to blame. Nobody. Just him. All of the anger, the resentment, the disappointment, all of them on him. He embraces them all. Everything. He will take it all, swallow it down and let it rot inside of him.

Joel tells Tommy everything. Everything, but her name.

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Taglist: @southernbe, @orcasoul, @auteurdelabre

[dailynnt]

FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE

⊹ Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.

⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.

⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+

⊹ 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤

⊹ 📘 Number of part: 23/?

⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words.

⊹ 👩🏼‍💻From the author: Hello everyone. Happy New Year 🎄💜 I managed to write another part for you, so consider it a gift, because I wrote it as soon as I could and when I could to make it to the 31st 🥹 I hope you like it, as always ❤️‍🔥 I also want to thank everyone who likes my story, you can't even imagine how happy I am 🤭🥺 I didn't expect such a success at all 🥹🥹🥹

⊹ 🫂 Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs. You are my favorite person 😘🥰 You know that I appreciate you so much and love you🥰💜

⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

⊹ 📋 Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou, @nikkinikj, @lovelyyylunaa222, @jiminiemanura (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)

≣ Chapter Index ↓

Part 17. The flame of sympathy

You were shocked by the number of dishes your mom had prepared for dinner. Fortunately, the yukkejang hadn't burned while you were busy in your room. Now it stood in the center of the table in a large ceramic bowl. Its aromatic waves spread across the room, filling it with the spiciness of chili peppers, the sweetness of green onions, and the richness of beef broth.

Your mother placed the pickled crabs that Jungkook loved so much closer to him. She presented them on a large plate, garnished with fresh red pepper rings and green onions. The main dishes on the table also included kimchi, pibimbap, pajons, rice, and pickled vegetables.

You helped set the table. Your father arrived just as you and Jungkook were going down to the kitchen. You couldn't help but think that you had finished on time, otherwise it would have been very embarrassing.

You sat down next to Jungkook on his left hand, and your mom and dad sat across from you two. Dad was happy to see Jungkook, and of course, just like your mom had done earlier, he was asking him questions. He was also interested in what Jungkook did for a living. Because the Mercedes that was parked outside your house indicated that Jungkook had a prestigious job. Your parents knew from Jungkook's mother that his job was related to security. Dad was interested in what kind of duties he had.

You were a little nervous when the conversation turned to Jungkook's job. But Jungkook answered calmly and even relaxed, lying in such a way that if you didn't know the truth, you would believe it. But heck, you were in your parents' shoes not so long ago. You believed his lies without knowing what your friend really lived.

Jungkook ate a lot. He enjoyed your mother's food because he always loved what she cooked. There was a mix in his mouth: crabs, yukkejang, pajon, rice, in a word, Jungkook ate as if he had no bottom in his stomach. You admired him unnoticed, you liked to watch him eat with such enthusiasm. You were especially mesmerized when he ate something really tasty. He never spared emotions on his face or words about the taste.

Right now, there was such a scene before your eyes. He was eating the pickled crab that your mom had prepared and was delighted. His eyebrows were drawn together, his eyes were closed, and his expression was one of absolute delight.

The first piece of crab was rated as "divine" and even received applause for its taste. All the other pieces that went into Jungkook's mouth made him almost moan with pleasure. You even blushed when he moaned several times so hard that you almost choked. It reminded you of the sounds he made during sex. Your mom was happy with Jungkook's reaction to her cooking. For her, there is nothing better than someone eating her food with such enthusiasm.

You had a delicious dinner and for dessert, you ate sunpyeon (crescent-shaped rice cakes filled with sesame seeds, honey, and beans), cakes, and donuts (for you) that Jungkook brought with him for the visit.

"Thank you for the delicious dinner!" - Jungkook said when he was finally full.

"You are welcome. I'm going to pickle some more crabs, so when you go to Seoul, stop by and I'll give you a bag to take with you." - Your mom said.

"I will be leaving city with Y/N in a few days. So I will definitely stop by for crabs." - Jungkook said. You were a little taken aback. You hadn't realized that he would want to take you to Seoul. You could have stayed with your parents longer. Celebrate the new year. Why does he want you to go with him? You didn't say anything, didn't object.

"In a few days?" - Your father asked again. Your mother was also surprised, because you hadn't told your parents that you were coming for a short time. They thought you were coming to spend some time with them and celebrate the new year.

"Yes." - Jungkook replied firmly. He couldn't leave you here without his supervision, not after what happened at the Christmas party in Niseko. Besides, his job in Seoul doesn't allow for days off. Not even on holidays. "Didn't she tell you? A friend of ours is opening a new club on New Year's Eve, and we were invited. I thought we'd together visit you and my parents after the New Year, but it turned out that Y/N left earlier. I decided that since that happened, I would come to pick her up and also visit my parents." - Jungkook said. But no one invited you to the club opening. Is he lying again? Or is it really true?

"Of course. Y/N didn't tell us anything." - Your mom said, a little sad, but smiling.

"I thought I wasn't going to go to that party because I had a quarreled with Jungkook. That's why I didn't say anything." - You supported Jungkook's lie. If he wants to take you away, there may be reasons. Either it's his "work" or Doohoon had something to do with it. Jungkook looked at you, smiling slightly. He was pleased that you didn't resist, but immediately agreed to go home together.

"Did you have a quarreled?" - You heard your father's voice.

"Yes, Taegu, I'll explain everything to you later. No need to confuse the children." - Your mom said quickly. She got up from the table. "Son, I'll put some crabs with me now for you to have breakfast."

"I would like to decline out of politeness. But they are so delicious, I won't do it." - Jungkook said. You laughed, that’s Jungkook style. Your mom laughed shyly too, because she was pleased with Jungkook's constant praise.

While mom was packing a package for Jungkook, you cleared the table. Dad and Jungkook kindly helped you. While you were doing the dishes, your mom and dad continued to interrogate Jungkook. You could hear them talking in the living room from the kitchen. It was well after 8 p.m. outside, and Jungkook was in no hurry to go home. You thought he was waiting for you to walk him to his car.

"Jungkook, son, did you find a girlfriend?" - Your mom asked. When you heard her question, you almost dropped the ceramic pot where was yukkejan in it. You didn't expect her to ask him about his personal life. Jungkook didn't flinch and answered almost immediately.

"I have a girlI like." - He said. You listened intently. Is this girl you?

"You just like her? You're dating?" - Your mom asks.

"No, we can't because of my job." - Jungkook answers without hesitation. You think it's some kind of weird excuse. "I work a lot, so she won't even think about going out with me."

"If she likes you too, it won't be a problem." - Says your father. "The main thing is that you have weekends and don't work until the morning, and go out with her every night. Then it will be fine." - your father advises. You can hear Jungkook laughing.

"Sometimes I work until the morning, or I'm gone for several days at home. My job is such that I have to accompany a client on his travels. So I don't think I'll have a chance." - Jungkook says. You can't figure out if he's just making this excuse so no one will know about you or if he really doesn't want to have a relationship with you. You're a little outraged. You need to clarify what the status of your relationship is now. Are you still friends with benefits or are you dating? Because the words "you are mine" can only mean that you are his girlfriend. The thought of being Jungkook's girlfriend makes you excited. It sounds so unusual.

"What kind of job is this that makes it impossible to have a relationship? Honey, quit that job and find something to do so you don't have to be a bachelor forever." - Your mom said. You thought she sounded harsh. Your mom sometimes says things that can hurt. But Jungkook laughed again. He didn't seem offended in the least.

"I'll make a lot of money, and then I'll quit and find a woman. I'm only 24, there's still time." - Jungkook assured. You washed the dishes and went into the living room where they were all sitting. Jungkook saw you and kept his eyes on you. He was smiling slyly. You waved him off so he wouldn't stare at you. You stood next to your father, putting your hands on his shoulders. Dad felt your hands and put his on top of yours.

"Let me walk you to the car." - You suggested to Jungkook. He stood up when he heard you say that. It was really time to go, but he wasn't going to leave without you.

"Actually, I wanted to proposed you first. I have a gift for you. But it's not in the car. We need to go to a place. So you should go change." - Jungkook said. You froze in confusion. He said in Niseko, that he had a gift, and he promised to give it to you to nightly . Is this some kind of a restaurant or something? But you just had dinner, so the restaurant is out. Where can you go at eight in the evening for a gift? You didn't have any ideas.

You agreed and went to your room to change while Jungkook continued talking to your parents. Before you got dressed, you asked Jungkook what the style should be, what if it was some expensive beautiful place, so that you didn't come dressed as if you were going to a store. He said that the style could be free, but the clothes should be comfortable. This intrigued you even more.

You put on a gray tight-fitting knit crop top with long sleeves and a rounded neckline. You wore black high-waisted cargo pants with large pockets on the sides. Your skin sometimes showed under top when you moved, but you were going to be in a car and a jacket, so you shouldn't be cold. You left your hair loose, pulling some of it into a half-ponytail at the back of your head and tying it with a gray elastic band so that your bangs wouldn't get in the way. Although the shortest strands did fall out before you went out, it looked good.

After you changed, you went downstairs to the first floor to see Jungkook, who was waiting for you. When he saw you, he looked you up and down. He looked slightly dissatisfied.

"Couldn't you have worn something longer to keep your kidneys warm? It's freezing outside." - Jungkook complained as you were both getting dressed at the door. Your parents supported Jungkook, and you clicked your tongue nervously, ignoring their words. Putting on your Nike winter sneakers and a jacket, you waited for your mom to bring a bag of crab for Jungkook and for Jungkook who instead to get dressed, talking about your top.

"I'll be in a warm car and I'm wearing a jacket so I won't freeze. Stop talking." - You said irritated. Jungkook smiled slyly at you and finally stopped grumbling. Mom brought you the crab, you said goodbye, Jungkook promised to take care of you and bring you home before the new day dawned, and you left the house.

Jungkook arrived in a Gelendvagen. When you saw this car again, you felt delighted. It always evokes such emotions. You remembered the sex you had with Jungkook here and thought that you wouldn't mind doing it again.

Looking at Jungkook, who was starting the engine and pressing something on the dashboard, probably turning on the stove, you thought that this Mercedes suited him very well. Jungkook seems to have been born to drive such a car.

Like this car, he was impressively massive and stable, while combining elegance and strength. The G-Wagon is not just a car, it is a symbol of confidence and power with which it takes to the streets. Jungkook was the same way: he easily attracted attention without trying, with a huge charisma that filled the space around him. And just like this car, his presence always left a feeling of something unusual and even majestic. The Mercedes G-Wagon evokes wonder and a desire to observe, Jungkook was someone who could not be ignored - with his appearance, his energy.

You smiled, they evoke similar emotions in you, the way you thought about it perfectly reflected how you felt about him at that moment.

Jungkook, sensing your view, looked at you. He smiled back at you.

"Why are you smiling?" - He asked as he took off his jacket and threw it into the back seat.

"I was just thinking about something." - You answer, looking at your friend or boyfriend. You didn't know for sure yet. Jungkook has driven away from your house.

"About what?" - He asked. He still had a slight smile on his lips. His eyes were looking at the road. You took a deep breath, enjoying the smell in the car. It smelled like citrus and spices. The smell was completely Jungkook's, you knew he liked citrus notes.

"I thought you were really hot driving that car." - You say leaning over the armrest. You moved closer to get a better look at Jungkook's reaction to your words.

He easily turned away from the empty road where only you were driving and looked at you. His eyes flashed with something devilish and cunning. A half smile graced his alluring lips.

"Are you trying to seduce me as soon as we only just leave your house?" - He asks playfully. You lick your lips, drawing Jungkook's gaze to them. You cast a lazy glance at his crotch. You stretch your lips into a smile and sit up straight, looking in front of you.

"Not at all. I'm just stating a fact." - You say, trying to hold back your laughter. Jungkook continues to drive the car in silence. You don't know where you're going or why. You're going to regret teasing him.

You drive in silence for a while while you check your phone for notifications. You have a text message from Suyong, an instagram notification, a group chat message from your university group, and a bunch of other notifications that you haven't read because you don't feel like it.

Your mind goes back to the conversation you heard, about Jungkook's girlfriend, and you want to talk to him. Your heartbeat instantly speeds up when you're about to ask who you are to each other. But before you dare to ask Jungkook, he is the first to break the silence between you.

"It was great of you to agree to come to Seoul with me right away. I have some urgent business that I have to finish by the 31st, and I can't leave you here alone." - He says, while overtaking the car in front of him.

"Why can't you leave me? Is it because of Doohoon?" - You speculated. Jungkook pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded his head in agreement.

"Yeah. Fuck knows what's in that stupid head of his. He might move on to more sadistic methods." - Jungkook says seriously. He pulls out onto the road that leads to the camping park.

"Why would he start doing something like this?" - You ask, and you remember when you were packing a suitcase to fly to Korea from Niseko, Jungkook arrived at the hotel covered in blood, his hands were beaten. "Did you have a fight? Is that why you came here covered in blood?"

"Yeah. I beat him up." - Jungkook confesses to you. Not that you hadn't guessed, but you were still shocked.

"Badly?" - You ask instead of asking why.

"Yes." - Chunguk answers briefly, without going into details. He recalls Doohoon’s bloody face and thinks that if he hadn't been stopped, he would have killed him. But you don't need to know that.

"Is he even alive?" - You ask ironically. Jungkook hears the irony in your voice and smiles.

"He's alive. Lucky for him." - Jungkook is not joking at all. You burst out laughing.

"Of course it's not funny. You beat him up in front of people?" - You ask, looking at Jungkook. His profile catches your eye. The way he purses his lips, the way his tongue plays with his piercings. How he can easily distract you with just one look.

"No. No one saw us, it was in front of the smoking room. Ha Young called for help. They broke us up. But I kicked his face pretty good." - Jungkook replies.

"Jungkook..." - You breathed out his name worriedly. "You might get in trouble because of that bastard. He's not going to let this go." - You said.

"Let him try, then no one will save him." - Jungkook says, irritated. You can see the muscles in his jaw rippling. You don't say anything, because your mind immediately goes to thoughts of how Jungkook will fight Doohoon. "No one will save you," his words echo in your head. What does that mean? Will he try to 'eliminate' him?

Jungkook notices that you are silent and gives you a quick glance. He meets your worried gaze and rushes to reassure you.

"I'm not going to kill him or torture him. I will deal with them carefully so that you or I don't get hurt." - He promises. You squint your eyes, not quite believing him. "I promise." - He says sincerely. You stare at Jungkook for a long few seconds and finally relax.

"Look. You promised. That asshole isn't worth the trouble he's going to cause. I'm talking about another hassle with police." - Jungkook laughed. You looked at him in surprise. "What did I say that was so funny?" - You were indignant.

"Nothing. I just don't think I'm going to get in trouble with the police." - Jungkook said, sounding amused. "There are more serious things to worry." - You raise your eyebrows and notice that you're pulling up to the checkpoint for the camping park. Jungkook buys a pass, and in a few minutes you're inside the park. It's only a 20-minute walk from your house, and Jungkook gets there in less than 10 minutes. You remember how often you used to go hiking here with your father and Jungkook.

"The police are the law. And what can be more serious than the law?" - You continue the topic. You don't ask why you came to the camping park. The intrigue of your gift is too strong.

"Money." - Jungkook says shortly and parks on a wooden platform. It has a small fence that protects it from the cliff where the river flows. The area is lit by two tall lanterns that emit a yellow, almost orange light. The park is beautiful and cozy. Large caps of snow cover the bare crowns of the trees. The place where Jungkook parks his car is cleared of snow. Does everyone here clean up their parking spaces? Or did Jungkook order it in advance?

"What do you mean? You mean that money can be used to bend the law?" - You ask, simultaneously looking for something that could be your gift. But there is nothing here. Just you, the trees covered in snow, and the sound of the river.

Jungkook finally parks the car, but doesn't turn off the engine. He leaves it running to keep the interior warm. Jungkook smiled slyly. He immediately approached you when he finished parking.

"Yes, baby." - He says in a low purring voice. You look at his handsome face close to yours. "Money is the ultimate law. Whoever has it controls everything." - Jungkook fixes the strands that have fallen out of your hair and are lying on your eyelashes.

"So you have money, so you won't have any problems. Because you'll pay whoever you need to and you won't be punished?" - You ask. At this moment, he looks as much like the mafia as possible. Powerful, self-confident and thinking that the law is not written for him.

"I have money. But it's not just about money. I also have some power. The police are my subordinates whom I can use as I please. They cannot punish or convict me. I control their activities." - To say you are shocked is an understatement. You unconsciously open your mouth at Jungkook's words. It sounds as scary as possible. You look at Jungkook's young face and realize that he has enormous power at his age because he works for a very powerful gangster. If he controls the work of the police, it's just horrible. Does this mean that the police in Seoul are corrupt to the last cop?

"Do you control the work of the police? All of it? But how? They belong to the Ministry of Defense, do you have your own people there too?" - Jungkook looks at your face in silence. You're too beautiful to sit here and ask questions about things you don't need to know. It's time to give you that gift and enjoy your tight pussy.

"I'm not the only one doing this. Taehyung helps me. I've told you enough. Enough about my work. We came here to give you a gift." - Jungkook says. He moves away from you and before he gets out of the car, he says. "Go to the back seat, I have to get it out of the trunk."

You look in Jungkook's wake in surprise. So he confirmed that Taehyung is also a member of the mafia. It's horrible, you thought he was the nicest person in the world. Sometimes appearances can be deceiving.

You get out of the car and sit in the back seat. It's warm in the car, so when you feel like you've played a good game, you take off your jacket and throw it on your front seat. It's much more comfortable now. You wait for Jungkook to come back.

Jungkook gets in the car with you a couple of minutes later. He's holding a black bag with no writing on it. You smile in anticipation of the gift. But you don't understand why you came all the way here. This could have been given to you at home. In fact, he lied. He said there was no gift in the car. But it doesn't matter. If you're here, then Jungkook just wanted to be alone.

Jungkook turns on the lights in the backseat, and then he hands you the package, moving close to you. You take it in your hands and look through it excitedly.

The first thing that catches your eye is a large box. It has an aesthetic design and when you lift it slightly, you realize that it is a set of expensive chocolates from Chocolate Tree. This set is large and has many different flavors, most of all, your attention is drawn to the description of ingredients such as gold plates and aromatic spices. Gosh, eating gold with chocolate? Isn't that too much? But you silently put the chocolate set down and see two more boxes. One is small and the other is a little bigger. They are wrapped in beautiful dark green paper that shimmers in the light.

"Open the smaller one first." - Jungkook asks. You glance at him and notice how close he is. He holds the head sit behind you with his hand, his thigh touching yours.

You listen to Jungkook and take out a smaller box. When you half-open Jungkook's gift, you realize it's a phone. You stare at the box with the latest iPhone pro max in shock, and then look at Jungkook. He raises his eyebrows as if to say, "You don't like it?". You look from Jungkook to the phone.

"Jungkook..." - You finally say. "Isn't it too expensive?" - You are embarrassed. This Athos costs 1200 dollars. That's more than 1.5 million won. He could have presented you something less expensive. But you're thrilled because you've been wanting to change your phone for a long time. You were using the 14th iPhone. You were one of those few Samsung traitors (whose research center was located in your city, by the way) and found iPhones to be user-friendly.

"Do you like it?" - Jungkook asks, trying to figure out if he's got the right gift.

"Do I like it? Yes, I'm crazy about the gift. I've been dreaming of a new phone." - You say enthusiastically. Jungkook smiles happily. A phone is always a good gift. Especially when you once let it slip that you wanted to change it. Jungkook was going to give it to you earlier, but he didn't have time to go buy it. And for Christmas, he had to give it to you. Before you open the box with the iPhone, you give Jungkook a light kiss. You opened the box and looked at the phone. It's big, the color of graphite. You like that Jungkook bought a dark color, because all your phones were either gray or black.

When you saw the phone, you completely forgot that there was another box in the package.

"Baby, there's another present for you." - You smiled guiltily and put the phone on the box of chocolate. You took out a bigger box and started to open it. Jungkook watched you with interest. His eyes were on you, trying to capture every emotion from this gift.

You tore open the gift wrapping. It was a white box with no inscription. You looked at Jungkook, who was smiling slyly, and you didn't understand what was happening. You opened the box and your face instantly turned red. A vibrator. A fucking vibrator that is a complete imitation of a man's penis. It's pale pink and big. You can't tell for sure, but it's about the size of a Jungkook, maybe a little smaller. You feel shyness and a light layer of sweat covers your back. You don't know how to react to this gift.

Jungkook is amused by your reaction. You are frozen in horror and shame at the same time. He leans down to your ear and whispers.

"I thought you should have a toy like this." - Jungkook says. His breath burns your ear. You turn to him, somehow not expecting him to be so close. Although it's obvious, because he was talking in your ear. You stare at his lips. Jungkook smiles seductively. Sparks dance in his eyes.

"How did you even think of that?" - You finally recover from your shock. You close the box with the cock imitator and put it away. You are hot and nervous. Your ears are burning and your palms are cold with excitement. Your hands are shaking. Why did he present it to you? You have Jungkook to help you with your needs. Isn't a vibrator used by women who don't have sexual partners?

Jungkook laughs. His vibrating laughter goes through your whole body. He grabs your hand and pulls you onto his lap. A scream sticks in your throat. Jungkook squeezes your hips with his hands. You feel the pressure of his long fingers.

"Easy. Sex toys are one of the most common things that make sex diverse." - You can't shake the feeling of shame and the sight of the pink vibrator in front of your eyes. "You'll be pleasantly surprised at how much pleasure it can give you." - Jungkook says in a low, soothing voice. He nuzzles your neck with his nose, slowly moving to light kisses. He kisses you with one lip, and you instantly relax. His kisses are soothing, gentle, and exciting at the same time.

"But I have you." - You say with a sigh. If he doesn't stop, you're going to get soaked through. You had sex a few hours ago. Is Jungkook that insatiable? You should admit to yourself that you are the same way. Your desire for Jungkook's touch is at the level of obsession. "You satisfy me completely." - Jungkook stops kissing your neck and looks at you with a dark gaze. You are embarrassed by his gaze and look down at first.

You don't know that you can't be shy in front of Jungkook because he gets off on it. He's excited that you're embarrassed to admit that he satisfies you. He already knew that. Jungkook grabs your face with one hand and turns you around. Your eyes look at him innocently, and he's ready to swallow you whole. He's going to fuck you again, but this time he's going to get enough of you.

Jungkook kisses your lips, skillfully and instantly shoving his tongue into your mouth. He finds yours and flies over them. The kiss is hot, deep, and his lips are ruthless against yours. This kiss makes your head spin. And you can already feel the throbbing in the upper part of your inner thighs. Moisture is soaking your underwear. You have to part your lips because you don't have enough air. Jungkook undoes the button on your pants and guides his hand along the familiar route.

A loud gasp escapes your lips as his finger touches your center. You feel his hard cock already pressing into your ass.

"I'm just going to show you how good it feels. You decide if you want to keep using it or not." - He whispers shrilly. His voice is heavy with excitement. You grip his shoulders until your fingers are white. You're also very horny right now, so if Jungkook wants to show you something new, you don't mind.

"Okay." - You agree. Jungkook smiles. He takes his finger out of your pants and you instantly get upset. His movements only increase the throbbing between your legs. Your clit needed more attention.

He puts his finger in his mouth and sucks your wetness. This gesture is so intimate and makes you even more excited. His smile grows wider when he sees you looking at his fingers in your mouth.

Jungkook pulls you in for another kiss and connects your lips. You can feel yourself on his tongue. He reaches under your top with his hand and realizes that you're not wearing a bra. What luck. He didn't notice it before, maybe because he was distracted by your bare back. He squeezes your breast with his hand and you moan softly into his mouth. His caresses are a pleasure.

Without hesitation, he pulls away from your lips and leans down to take your nipple in his mouth, pulling your top up above your breasts. After the last sex, there are small blue marks on your breasts. He thinks he should kiss you more carefully, because you are already covered with his hickeys. But your skin is so soft and juicy that he can't help but want to savor it to the fullest.

You hiss in pleasant pain when Jungkook first caresses your nipple with his tongue and then bites it. He smiles into your chest and moves on to the other one. You look at this picture of Jungkook sucking on your nipple and you get fired up with a new wave.

When Jungkook has played with your nipples enough, he sits you down next to him. He asks to see your pants and underwear, and then turns off the lights in the backseat. He also reaches for the steering wheel and turns off the headlights, which have been on all along. The light from the street lights is now the only thing that illuminates the interior of the Mercedes. And this light makes the atmosphere between you more comfortable and intimate.

Jungkook follows you and takes off his clothes. His clothes are lying somewhere on the floor and he leaves only his boxers on. You are sitting on the seat completely naked and you are not satisfied with the fact that Jungkook not naked.

When Jungkook wants to pull you closer to him, you move first. You put your hand in front of his head on the seat and put your other hand under his boxers. Now it's your turn to caress him.

You feel that he is wet too. The pre-cum has slipped through the fabric of his underwear and is dripping from the tip of his cock. You run your thumb over the tip, caressing it, and you hear Jungkook sigh in your ear. You turn your head and see the absolute pleasure on his handsome face. He closed his eyes and bit down on his piercing. You're pleased that you're the cause of this pleasure. But you are only stroking him. You should give him more pleasure.

You swirl your tongue around your lips to wet them. You pull Jungkook's cock out of the boxers. It jumps out and hits Jungkook's stomach. You try to pull your boxers down lower and Jungkook lifts his hips slightly to help you do it. When you pull Jungkook's underwear down so that it is no longer in your way, you grab the length of it in your hands and kiss it.

Your lips lightly touch the silky surface of his cock. You wrap your tongue around the tip several times, licking his semen. Jungkook jerks his cock. This shows that he likes it. You think you want to see this reaction with your own eyes. You pull Jungkook's cock out of your mouth. He's watching you carefully.

You take your jacket and throw it at Jungkook's feet. There's enough room in the back of the car for you to kneel in front of him and get comfortable between his legs. So that you have a good view of his face while you suck his cock.

Jungkook understands what you want to do and he doesn't mind at all. He spreads his legs wide and gives you a good opportunity to suck him off.

You kneel down and smile, taking Jungkook's length in your hands. He looks at you with a greedy, eager gaze. His mouth is also curved in a smile. You run your tongue along the vein that runs through his cock. Jungkook exhales heavily, probably holding back a moan. You take his entire length into your mouth and now he can't hold it back. When you pump Jungkook's cock with your mouth just a few times, he moans. You look up and look at him.

He's laid his head back on seat and closed his eyes. His mouth is slightly open. The yogi jaw line seems even sharper from this angle. It’s added him more beautiful.

Saliva curls at the corner of your mouth, and it also runs down your chin. You taste the salty taste of pre-cum. You continue to suck on Jungkook's cock, and with each new movement, you realize that it's getting harder. You touch his balls with your hands, caressing them and squeezing them gently.

Jungkook hisses in pleasure. He looks up and sees you watching him. Your eyes are innocent and your lips are so perfectly wrapped around his cock. No girl has ever looked as sexy and beautiful in his eyes as you. Jungkook smiles at the corner of his mouth and takes your hair.

He pushes your on your neck, squeezing your hair into a tight knot. He pushes his cock deep inside you and can't get enough of the sight.

"You are my dirty slut. You choke on my cock so well." - He says in a low voice and you just flow with these words. They excite you to the max and you feel a sweet ache in your lower abdomen. "These lips are made to suck my cock." - You moan as you continue to pump his length and decide to ease your torment.

You touch your clit with your hand and start to rotate it to come. Jungkook notices what you're doing and raises his eyebrows. He takes you off his cock and leans over to you. You're confused, your chin is covered in saliva mixed with Jungkook's cum.

"Don't touch yourself." - He tells you sternly. "I'm the only one who can touch you." - You are embarrassed by his tone.

Jungkook lifts you. With a deft movement, he sits you back on his lap. Only now you are sitting with your back turned to him. You rest your buttocks on his bare cock. It is wet because you were sucking it a moment ago.

Your friend touches your breasts while kissing your shoulder. He removes the hair that prevents him from accessing your neck and kisses it. He even bites you lightly and you purr in pain and pleasure.

"You are such an impatient baby. Just a little longer and your juicy clit will get the attention it deserves." - Jungkook says in your ear.

"Kook... please...." - You begin to beg him, feeling his cock underneath you, which you dream of him shoving inside you.

"Yes baby… You're begging me, but for what?" - Jungkook spreads your legs wider and touches your swollen clit. You let out something between a sigh and a moan as he begins to caress your clit in a gentle circular motion.

"Fuck me!" - You say. You didn't even think you would have sex for the second time tonight. But it seems you're even more needy now than before.

"Do you want to ride my cock slut?" - Jungkook asks you affectionately. You start moving your hips to feel the friction you need. You smear your cum on Jungkook's cock. This feeling is insane and still unknown to you. It feels so good to feel his hardness in your pussy without swallowing him. Jungkook is breathing heavily somewhere in your ear. He seems to like it as much as you do. He removes his hand from your clit and now holds your thighs to help create a wonderful friction.

You don't know how long, maybe a couple of minutes, maybe one minute of friction between your pussy and Jungkook's length and you'll feel orgasmic. That clit twitches as you continue to rub against the Jungkook's cock. Your long moan fills the space around you and indicates that you have come.

Jungkook laughs lightly, snuggling up to the back of your head. When you stop, he stops moving you too. You take a breath and straighten up in his arms. You turn your head to him and see a smile.

"That was fucking great." - You express your admiration. He reaches for you and connects your lips in a kiss. You return the gentle kiss, which turns into a passionate one as Jungkook uses his tongue with more intensity. It sets you on fire again. God, are you really that insatiable? Or is it just Jungkook who's driving you crazy?

"You didn't think it was over, did you, baby?" - Jungkook purrs against your as he parted lips. You weren't thinking. You weren't thinking about anything at all. Your thoughts are killed by a good orgasm. "It's time to go for a ride." - He says. You don't mind at all. Even though you've had a great orgasm, you want to feel Jungkook's cock filling you up. You'll never get tired of it.

You get up to move when Jungkook stops you. He pushed you back against your hips with his hands. You turn your face to him in confusion.

"You're going to ride like this. You don't need to turn around. Let's try a new angle." - Jungkook explains.

"Okay. But Kook... don't cum in me again." - You ask him. Chunguk doesn't answer. Suddenly you feel a his hand on your throat. Jungkook puts you as close as possible to his strong chest and you feel the joke of his body. He squeezes your throat with a little pressure. Your breathing speeds up, and so does your excitement.

"I'll decide if I want to come in you or on you." - He growls in your ear. Your stomach jumps. That bossy voice, the way he turned it on again. You get a thrill out of it. You know you shouldn't provoke him, but you want to.

"You don't get to decide." - You say. "If I get pregnant, you'll be sorry." - You provoke. Jungkook bites your ear. You whimper.

"You won't get pregnant, baby. Because you're a good girl who takes her medicine. And it looks like you need to buy a course of birth control so I can come inside you every time we have sex." - Jungkook says. God, the thought of him cumming in you, because as he said earlier, "signing you", makes you a little wild.

"So If I'm a good girl, then maybe you'll put me on your cock already?" - You ask with a challenge. Jungkook turns your face around, capturing it with his hand and kissing you uncontrollably. You're so hot between the two of you. It's crazy.

"I'd love to." - Jungkook replies, releasing your face. He lifts you up and you stand on your feet slightly bent over. You feel the tip of his cock pressing against your hole. Jungkook isn't stretching you like he usually does, so despite the wetness, you feel a little uncomfortable. You don't know why, maybe because of the new angle. You bite your lip, and when you fully sit down on the length of the Jungkook, you calm down. The discomfort disappears, giving way to bliss.

Your friend kisses your shoulder as you sit still, getting used to the size. He doesn't rush you, because he realizes that you are not stretched.

"Your tight pussy wraps around my cock so well, doesn't it?" - He whispers in your ear.

"Yes..." - You breathe out. You want to tell him how good it feels, but the sensations you're experiencing down there make you forget how to say it.

The new angle with which Jungkook fills you with his cock makes it seem even more painful. It seems to penetrate right into your stomach. You move your hips to push Jungkook's length out and almost instantly sink down on it. It feels like pure ecstasy. You freeze because your walls are sensitive and they contract. Jungkook is moaning behind you. He feels it too, and he needs to hold back so he doesn't come so fast.

"Fuck..." - He curses. "Fuckin' shit. You're so tight, baby." - It sounds like a compliment. You smile through your pleasure and decide that this compliment is a good incentive to continue. You start moving on Jungkook's hips. The friction is just perfect. You moan loudly and feel your friend squeeze your sides.

While you're chasing your orgasm, riding relentlessly on his lap for a while, Jungkook takes the vibrator out of the box. He turns it on and you hear the noise of vibration. Jungkook puts it against your clit and you seem to lose your head.

The vibration from the dildo spreading across your clitoris creates a feeling of euphoria. As Jungkook moves the vibrator up and down, you're desperately trying not to go crazy. It has never felt so good. After a moment, the knot in your lower abdomen bursts and you moan, stopping moving. The overstimulation is making you disoriented. Jungkook removes the vibrator and grabs you with his hands.

You fall against him, exhausted and breathing heavily. Your head is leaning against his shoulder and you are breathing heavily. Your bodies are sweaty, and the windows in the car behind you are fogged up. You think it's over, but you're sitting on Jungkook's cock, which hasn't come and is still hard inside you.

"Baby, are you okay?" - He asks. You purr to confirm that you're fine. You just don't have the strength anymore. But you realize that Junguk didn't have his orgasm, and you don't know what to do. "Get up and lie down on the seat." - He says. You struggle to get up, and you and Jungkook switch places. You lie down on the seat, almost resting your head against the door. Jungkook is hanging over you and you notice how hard and needy his cock is. He's going to fuck you lying down, it'll even be more comfortable for both of you.

When Jungkook enters you for the second time, he slides into you almost perfectly. As usual, he rocks his hips to find the right angle and starts to drive his cock into you with slow, deep strokes. You put your arms around his shoulders. You put one hand in his silk hair and enjoyed the way he skillfully fucked you.

Jungkook's movements were slow, driving his cock deep into you as if he was enjoying every stroke. You moaned into his ear. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, burning you with his breath. This moment seemed so loving. He was fucking you so gently but passionately at the same time. And you could feel Jungkook's thrusts making you feel an orgasm building up.

"Please, Kook..." - You exhale, urging him to give you a third orgasm during this sex. He lifts his head and kisses you. Your tongues dance together as if made for a perfect tandem. You see him accelerate his hips and you come on Jungkook's cock three times in half a minute.

You moan loudly and long, squeezing the length with your walls. Jungkook is chasing his own orgasm, slamming into you quickly, prolonging your pleasure. He comes inside you. Not because he wanted to, as he said before. He didn't have time again. Or did he really not want to?

You feel his cum filling you. You're not surprised anymore. Just don't let God get you pregnant. You're compelled to buy a course of birth control pills.

Jungkook crushes you with his muscular body. You are both breathing heavily and exhausted. Jungkook softens inside you and you lower the legs he was holding and put them on the sides of Jungkook's body. You lie there for a while to recuperate.

Jungkook is the first to move. He smiles at you when you open your eyes.

"Are you alive?" - Jungkook asks. He's sorry you look tired. But he enjoyed having sex with you. It doesn't matter that it's the second time you've had sex since the big quarrel in Japan.

"I'm alive." - You answer with a tired smile. Jungkook finally pulls out of you. He gives you some tissues so you can clean yourself up. He also uses them and gets dressed. When you are dressed too, you decide what to do next. Jungkook could take you home to rest, but he wants to stay with you as long as possible. You go to the city center and buy coffee.

You suggested going for a walk in the park by the lake and Jungkook agreed. He was a little angry at the way you were dressed, so you quickly reassured him off. There's no need to worry, you're not cold.

You wanted to finally talk about your relationship. Because you needed to finally know who you were to each other.

"Jungkook-ah." - You called out to him as you walked silently hand in hand along the alley along the lake.

"What, baby?" - He replied.

"Can I ask you something?" - You asked, feeling your heart speed up.

"Of course. Ask." - Jungkook replied.

"This might be a very rude thing to ask... I just want to clarify..." - You tried to find the right words for both of you. Jungkook stopped. Your nervousness is transmitted on him. His heart was beating faster too, but it wasn't as frantic as yours. He sees that you intend to ask about something important.

"Speak directly. What do you want to know." - Jungkook said impatiently. You looked at him in confusion.

"I just wanted to know who we are now. Are we still friends...?" - You were about to ask "is there anything more" but Jungkook beat you to it.

"Yes, we're still friends." - He answered too quickly. You froze and then smiled in disappointment. Of course you're not going to be his girlfriend. Why did you ever think he would want to go out with you?

"Okay…whatever." - You said dryly with a hint of disappointment in your voice. Letting go of his hand, you threw the glass of finished coffee into the trash and walked on, leaving him behind. Jungkook smiled at you as you walked away. He realized that you were going to ask not only about friendship.

He also threw the glass in the trash and caught up with you. He turned you to him, pulling you by the waist. You looked at him indifferently.

"I guess you had something else you wanted to ask me?" - Jungkook said, smiling at you. You held back your smile as best you could.

"No. Not anymore." - You said offensively, turning your head away. He used his hand to bring your gaze back to his face and kissed you. You instantly melted from this tender loving kiss with a cappuccino flavor.

"Go ahead baby, you can ask me anything." - Jungkook said. You smiled shyly.

"I was going to ask if we're still friends or more?" - You finally decided. Jungkook was expecting you to ask that. It's obvious to him that you've been a couple for a long time. He's got some pressures about it, but he can handle them. You, on the other hand, seem to need official confirmation.

"How would you like it?" - He replies with a question to a question. You can hear your heart pounding in my ears.

"I like you." - You confess. Jungkook freezes. These words you say have been his goal for years, and after all this time, you say it. Jungkook kisses you on the lips without warning. You raise your eyebrows, not expecting him to attack you like that. Jungkook took both hands to your face, and you reflexively grabbed his elbows. You gently squeezed the fabric of his jacket. The kiss deepened. Your lips moved slowly, but you could feel the growing passion with each new touch. He was warm and viscous, like honey, and at the same time awakened a hot wave in your chest that rolled from your heart to your fingertips. Your breath mingled with his, making it feel as if the whole world had narrowed down to this moment, to this touch.

"I like you too, baby." - Jungkook confessed to you as he enjoyed kissing you. You smile, your heart flutters, and your stomach is full of butterflies. "I've liked you for so long. Besides you've been mine for a long time." - He says as he nibbles on your lips. It seems like something unreal, something that would never happen for you. But here you are, confessing your love for each other.

You kiss again until you are interrupted by Jungkook's phone ringing. It's quite late, who could be calling him at this hour? Jungkook reluctantly pulls away from your sweet lips and takes the phone out of his pocket. You see the name "Jimin" in time to see it.

"Yeah, buddy." - Jungkook says as he picks up the phone.

"Hey, kid. Where are you?" - You hear Jimin's voice. There are no people around you and the park is quiet at this hour, so you can hear what he's saying clearly.

"I went to Suwon." - Jungkook replies calmly, looking at you. The two of you are still in an embrace.

"Put up with Y/N?" - Jimin asks.

"Yes." - Jungkook says shortly.

"So did you make up with her well? Like a real man?" - Jimin continues his interrogation playfully. Jungkook snorts into the phone. You laugh quietly, too. Oh that Jimin. He was always trying to matchmake you two.

"We made up." - Jungkook just says. "Why are you calling? To ask about it?" - Jimin is tensely silent for a while, and then answers.

"Kid... I tried to hide it as best I could, but I got caught up in it too... Namjoon found out about the devices. He wants to see you." - You felt everything inside you tighten into a tight knot. Jungkook's brows drew together and his black eyes darted between yours. You couldn't read what he was feeling on his face, but he seemed upset and very angry.

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[wolfiesmoon]

A well-kept secret...

Alhaitham x gn!reader

the triumphant writing return of your favourite incompetent idiot🥰

as always i apologise if i get anything wrong lore-wise i'm not in sumeru yet on my acc and i don't want to spoil the story for myself so i'm going of pure vibes

"huh i could have sworn you wrote something like this before..." no i didn't here's 5000 bucks now shut up ...anyways, after getting re-obsessed w genshin i have decided to cook smth up for my alhaitham kissers😏😏😏😏 that and i've decided to watch a 20 h playthrough of the entirety of HSR bc neither my phone nor my laptop can handle that game and i want to see what comes after Jarilo (and i wanna write fics too come on)

ALSO HOW COULD I FORGET I FINALLY GOT NEUVILLETTE 🥰🤭😘😱😍🙏🏻💁‍♀️😍😘🤩🙂‍↕️😻😽😸🫦 HUBBYS HOME FR FR

The thing you could have never expected upon getting a job at the renowned Akademiya of Sumeru is that you would fall for the Akademiya's elusive scribe, Alhaitham.

It bothers you to no end that it just has to be him of all the people in Teyvat, since you know he'd never return your affections, even in a million years. He just isn't a man who places importance in romance, you've learned.

And even so, he doesn't seem to like you much in general. It's not that you're a bad person, not at all, you just kind of feel like he's slightly annoyed by your presence. You always catch the silent sigh that escapes his lips when you happen to have to deliver something to him and his replies are even more curt than usual when talking to you.

So you just watch him from afar, stealing occasional glances at him while he's face deep in a book or taking a leasurely nap by the window. It sort of makes you sad, as beautiful as the sight is.

You'd love to tell him how you love the way his fingers slide over the book spines as he's searching for just the right book to examine, or the way his eyebrows furrow in concentration as he's reading, or the way his chest slowly rises and falls when he's napping next to- Oh, now you're just making yourself even more miserable.

And though you already know what he'd say if you revealed your feelings towards him, you can't help but want to confess them all anyways.

You turn the corner, important scrolls that you're supposed to give to him in hand. You find Alhaitham slumped over his desk, seemingly asleep. It's a secluded, quiet corner of the Akademiya that you know he likes to take naps in, so it's not a surprising sight. In fact it's a very welcome one. Atleast for you.

You think about waking him up for a brief moment, but then decide that you'd rather not face his annoyed glare today. So you simply place the scrolls on the desk in front of him, hoping he'll notice them once he wakes up.

As you turn to leave, you suddenly get an idea. There might just be a way you can release your pent-up feelings for him without him ever knowing.

He's asleep right now, so there's no harm in a tiny little confession, right? It's not like he'll hear it anyways.

But then again, that's such a pathetic way of confessing that it actually hurts. What are you, a lovestruck teenager?

After a few seconds of your ego having an internal battle with your lovesick heart, the heart comes out the victor. You take a deep breath, deciding to make it quick because he may wake up any second.

"I'm in love with you and I wish you were mine." you blurt out somewhat awkwardly before turning on your heels and getting the hell out of there.

In fact, you left so fast that you failed to notice the way Alhaitham's cheeks dusted a light shade of pink and his eyes slowly opened, staring at the wall on his right.

"Mmmm..." he groaned, shoving his head into the crevice of his elbow that was laid out on the table.

.

Although you know that he never heard your confession, you still feel too giddy to approach him at all the next day. You've really just gone and did that, and looking at his face would be an all too vivid reminder of it.

"Here's the document the scribe requested this morning. He said you must deliver it to him." your coworker handed you a neat folder, tied with a colorful string.

Knowing there's no way you'd be able to face Alhaitham so soon, you asked your friend to do it for you, knowing she'd happily take a break from reviewing documents to deliver one instead.

And so your day continued on without a hitch and you slowly started to forget all about yesterday as you became engrossed in your work. Maybe it's better that way, after all.

As the day came to a close, you took one last overview of the work you've done just to make sure that everything has been translated properly before storing the documents away and turning around to head towards the exit.

However, you were jumpscared by someone standing right in front of you with his arms crossed. Your eyes met a pair of turquoise ones and you let out a stranged noise of surprise. It's Alhaitham in all his glory.

"Oh, it's you. Well, goodbye, I'll see you tommorow." you smiled at him as wide you possibly could, laughing awkwardly and walking around him, too flustered to wait for a reply from him.

"You didn't bring me the document." his voice stopped you in your tracks and you turned your head back to look at him. Have you forgotten something, after all? What document could he be- Oh, he means the one delivered by your friend.

"Oh, I got busy, so I asked my friend." you shrugged, wondering internally why he's even confronting you about this.

"It was an opportune... Hm. What's done is done." he makes a small pause before fully turning around to face you. "I heard your confession yesterday."

No. No way.

Okay, that's it. You're actually going to die now. And the blunt way he said it makes it so much worse. You knew you should have done it when he was wearing those soundproof earpieces of his. You cursed yourself out internally for not noticing that he wasn't wearing them back then.

"Heard what?" you decided to act dumb, though you're sure you sound anything but convincing right now.

"You said you're in love with me." his eyes narrowed slightly, but otherwise, his body language was the same as always. So that means you can't gauge his thoughts on the confession at all in order to act accordingly.

"What in the world are you talking about?" you kept up your act of innocence. You'd rather die than admit you actually said that to his face, while you thought he was asleep, no less.

"Hm. I never took you for a such cowardly person." He sighed, then continued. "You could blame it on the lack of interaction between us."

The sudden comment about your cowardice to admit to something you did was like a stab to the belly, but you quickly recovered, trying your best to not look offended. You thought he was the type of guy to avoid conversations about embarrasing things he overheard, or, well "unnecessary" things, as he would put it. He's never even initiated a conversation with you before, dammit.

"Ugh... so, are you mad about it?" you finally gave up on acting coy. Though you're sure you can answer your own question right now.

"What an... interesting hypothesis." Alhaitham closed his eyes, turning around. "Next time, make sure to do what I ask of you. It's simply for my own convenience." Then he just up and left, leaving you standing there like an idiot.

Really? That wasn't a proper answer at all. You would have thought he'd simply reject you if he really wanted things to be as convenient for him as possible. Giving you vague answers makes this convenient for neither of you.

But, then again... he didn't reject you right off the bat. That's something, right?

As much as Alhaitham called you out on your cowardice earlier, he found himself thinking that he's no better as he dropped onto his bed that night. How in the world is he supposed to admit to you that he wants you to deliver the documents that he needs because he enjoys looking at your face? How is he supposed to admit that he catches occasional glances of you too, sometimes? How is he supposed to admit to you that your mere presence clogs up the words in his throat, making him unable to speak as eloquently as he wants?

How is he supposed to admit to you that your little confession yesterday just ruined his ability to think rationally, that you made him broken beyond repair?

"Ugh, how bothersome..." he pinches the bridge of his nose. He hates how irrational love is.

[zepskies]

Okay, I loved the reader smacking Ben's ass, so can we do an uno reverse of the situation, but lmao it would probably not end well because knowing Ben it probably would've been done during a terribly inappropriate time like a meeting or something, also I know that you didn't explicitly say it was BMD ben and reader but I did read it as such, lmao - salvadoreña anon (lmao it feels a little weird to call myself that because Im also desi lol)

Hello my Latina Lovely! 😘 (Wow! Love that you're also Desi. ❤️)

Aw, hell, you done uno-reversed me…

See this imagine for context: Repaying Soldier Boy for a job well done.

(And yes, I had Break Me Down-verse SB x Reader in my head writing that one as well lol. They're ingrained in me. 😂)

Word Count: 350

Imagine: Ben gets a little payback.  

Your heels clacked on the tile floor brusquely as you made your way back to your office, over in Surveillance. You carried a stack of paperwork that had to be sorted through—and on Grace Mallory’s desk by end of day today.

Your hair was falling out of its loosening bun, and you tried in vain to blow a piece of it out of your face. The elevator on the opposite end of the hall dinged. The doors opened, and out came your boyfriend, strutting into the hall in his supe suit.

You smiled. “Wow, that was quick. You caught Metallo?”

“Being booked with bendy straws for arms as we speak,” Ben replied with a cocky smile. He headed toward you down the hall. “Gonna grab a bite to eat. Care to join?”

You raised a brow at bendy straws for arms. He really needed to work on how badly he roughed up these supes when bringing them into custody.

“Can’t right now,” you said, gesturing with your eyes to your workload. “But I’ll let you know when I’m ready to head home, if you want to wait for me.”

While you spoke, Ben was busy taking in your white blouse, the dark red lipstick, the pencil skirt, the sexy little heels. It was straight out of one of his fantasies…

Maybe you’d be down for a round of sexcretary after work. His lips curved at the thought.

But then, he remembered how you’d got him to accidentally shatter a nice crystal wine glass the other night, and it got him contemplating some retribution.

“All right. See you then, baby doll,” he said mildly.

When he finally reached you, he gave you a nice smack on the ass as he passed by.

You jolted with a wide-eyed yelp. Ben smirked at the sound.

He’d gotten you with a little more force than he thought though, as it made you lose your grip on your files. They flew from your hands and scattered onto the floor.

You twisted back to meet him with a glare. Ben’s hand clenched and curled back…

Then he gave you a sly grin.

“Payback’s a bitch, ain’t it?”  

AN: So I don't typically post two new fics within the same day (sorry for the spam), but this one was short and essentially a sequel to the other imagine lol. (And my weird brain doesn't like a packed drafts folder. 😉)

I have at least one more SB imagine coming this week. I got a ton of requests this weekend, so thank you all! I really am so flattered. 🥰🥰

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[gulnarsultan]

Hi dear I hope you are well, can you please write Yandere Tony Stark x reader, Reader is Natasha Romanoff's younger sister, she is very beautiful, she was with her in the Red Room with her and then she was sent to Hydra and got magic powers, in Iron Man 2 when Natasha went to spy on Tony, Reader went with her to one of the parties he threw, he fell in love with her instantly and became obsessed with her and cared about nothing but getting her and making her his and his wife.

I love your dear Your page is literally my obsession to read 💗

Hello my dear. I love you too. 😍😘🥰❤ You make me blush. 🤭🤗❣ I hope you like it.

》Scenario《

You were called Little Romanoff, Princess and other nicknames. Natasha's precious little sister. Your life was more normal and stable now. In fact, you were still in therapy for your red room experience. And you were trying to learn to control your magical abilities. Natasha (rare moments) wanted you to be her companion on a mission. You prepared carefully for this invitation. In the evening, you went to the invitation area with Natasha's arm. Your beauty caused many men to gather around you, compliment you and flirt with you. After a while, Tony Stark came to you. Because he saw you from afar and noticed you. His heart stopped as soon as he saw you. No woman had ever made him feel like this. He danced and talked with you all night long. Your sister Natasha didn't like this at all. She decided to leave with you before the event was over. To be honest, you enjoyed talking to Tony. After you left the event, you found a bouquet of red roses, expensive chocolates and a jewelry set on your doorstep the next morning. And there was a message for Tony on a small piece of paper. He wanted to spend time with you. You took the gifts to your room and left them on your bed. Your cheeks turned red with embarrassment. When Natasha found out, she got really angry and had a meeting with Tony alone. Tony warned (threatened) her to stay away from you. But instead of stopping, Tony kept sending you gifts. He took you on dates and got your number. You two looked like young people who had just fallen in love. Natasha watched you two flirt with her eyebrows furrowed. Tony wasn't stupid enough to scare you or make you run away by telling you about his obsession. He would try to hide his obsession at least until you two got married and had kids. Tony is a hot and cunning man. What happens next depends on different scenarios.

[wriothesleybear]

Hewooo~ ✨️❤️This time i wanted to official ask you~ 🙈🤭 But first: how are you? I hope youre fine❤️✨️ Your writing of my request was just ....WOWW so so cute and warming~😘❤️Hgn....and it and the umbrella quote made me think of Rizzley finding us in Fontain, maybe in a small break of his, in rain holding an umbrella for us~✨️🤭🙈 hheheheehh~ please have a nice dayyyyyy/night/morning💕😘

Omg. First off, I am so sorry this took so long to finish! I had a first draft that I just didn't like as much so I scrapped it and started a new prompt. Second, I'm doing okay! I'm ready for spring break because I've been needing a break from work and classes. Thank you for asking🥺❤️ I'm glad you liked my writing for your request! I just liked your idea that I wanted to write for it and I always love hearing other people's thoughts on Wrio🥰 I hope this makes up for the long wait for this request! Maybe I'll redo the first draft I had for this prompt and post it separately but I'll have to see. Enjoy!~

~warnings: none, just fluff!

Let's say you're out and about shopping when suddenly it began to rain, causing you to quickly find shelter under a awning in front of a boutique. While waiting for the rain to stop so you could finally head home, you begin to sneeze and shiver due to your wet clothes that got soaked when you got caught in the unexpected rain. As you rub your arms to get some warmth, you hear someone call your name. You look up and your eyes land on Wriothesley. He's standing out in the middle of the main street, holding an umbrella to shelter himself from the rain. He walks over to you, curious as to why you're out in the cold. "What are you doing out her?"

"I was shopping and got caught in the rain. I didn't even think to bring my umbrella with me when I left my house this morning." You sneeze, still shivering from your cold, wet clothes. He noticed your appearance and how you had your arms wrapped around yourself as you shivered. He moved next to you under the awning, setting his umbrella down so he could take his coat off. He places it onto your shoulders, wrapping it around you. He rubs his hands down your arms, trying to help you warm up. You blushed, eyes wide at his unexpected actions. You've know Wriothesley for while now and you two were great friends. You knew how kind he was, but what threw you off guard was the intimate act of closeness. This was something you usually read about in the romance novels you secretly read in your free time. You couldn't help but blush at the thought of Wriothesley and you being a couple. Your head began to swarm with thoughts of 'Did he have feelings for you? No, of course he didn't. You two were only friends and he was just doing what any good friend would do.'

You were so caught up in your thoughts, you didn't notice that you've been staring at Wriothesley the whole time. His voice finally breaks you from your thoughts when he calls your name. "Hm what?"

"I said, you feeling warmer?" He chuckles "Oh! Yes I am. Thank you Wriothesley, but you should take your jacket back. You'll get sick in this rain." You began to slip his coat off , but he stops you by putting his hands on your shoulders. "I'll be fine. You need it more than me." He reasons while pulling the coat around you more. You end up accepting his kind gesture without further argument. You tug his coat closer to you, snuggling into it while smiling and blushing at his sweet gesture. "Thanks Wrio." As you thank him, you give him a soft look with that cute smile of yours that he looks so much.

He clears his throat, averting his gaze as he turns his head to hide the slight redness in his cheeks. "It's no issue. Come on. I'll walk you home." He grabs his umbrella , opening it to cover the both of you as you go out into the rain. He suddenly wraps his strong arm around you, pulling you close to him. You're surprised by his unexpected gesture which he notices by the look on your face. "The umbrella's not that big so you need to stand close to me so you don't get soaked again." You nod your head and move your body closer to his. Even though it was cold from the weather, you could feel the heat radiating off of his body. Not only that but you could also feel the hardness of his muscles through his clothes. You didn't know how much redder your cheeks could get. Wriothesley was also lost in his thoughts. He was enjoying the closeness of your body to his. Despite the reason he gave you, a part of him may have used it as an excuse to put his arm around you and hold you close.

While walking in silence, you decide to break it. "What are you doing up here Wriothesley?" It's a bit odd to see the Duke of Meropide on the surface."

"I had a meeting with Monsieur Neuvillette. Did you not like running into me up here?" He teases. "Of course not. I always enjoy seeing you. Plus if I didn't run into you, I probably would have freezed to death." You exaggerate. You both chuckle, but he can't help but notice the way his heart beats faster and the excitement that fills his body at your confession of how you enjoy seeing him. He plays along and continues his teasing. "I suppose that makes me your hero." You laugh as he smiles, enjoying the sound of your beautiful laugh. "My hero. How shall I ever repay you."

"How about having tea with me?" You two usually had tea together, but you couldn't help but feel that his offer was more than a tea date between friends. You ignore the feelings and accept his offer. "I would love to." You smile at one another. You two continue your walk to your home, sharing laughs and conversation as you near your home.

[strlingsav]

you are a god among us peasants. your writing skills so sublime, you make tears fall from my eyes (and from between my legs); thank you for your service. 🫡

if you’re keen, may i request pain? just angst and maybe death too—if doable. of course, we cannot forget smut; because we’re still thirsty degenerates despite (or is it in spite) the masochism. but if that’s not your cup of tea, then no worries, you feed us well anyway. 🥰

anyway, just wanna say thank you very much for existing and that i look forward to reading more of your amazing fics. may both sides of your pillow be cool whenever you lay on them. 🙏

lastly, im the one who requested for the ‘read more’ bar and tbh, i was not really expecting anything from it. i was expecting it to be ignored and i was fine with it. coz let’s be honest, that was just nitpicking from freeloaders like me and scrolling a few more seconds is the least we can do to thank you for sharing your awesome brainchilds with us. i was just shooting my shot but honestly didn’t expect anything from it. so for you to implement it as soon as you got the ask is just 🤌. thank you. i appreciate you. i hope you immediately find your lost things as soon as you start looking for them. ❤️😘😘😘

LOL, stop it now I'm crying 😭 I can definitely come up with something real angst-y and slutty just for you!!!

You're so kind, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you, and the validation 🫶🏻🥹❤️

Of course!! It's my pleasure 🤍 Thank you (and a million more thank yous) for the kind words, I hope you enjoy!!

Endings

– Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader

— A sweet goodbye turns sour.

Two

Explicit/gory content under the cut. Read at your own risk.

The sun had just barely peaked, a glowing orange hue sneaking out from behind your linen curtains. It must've been early, early enough to catch Simon before he headed out.

You stretched out, rolling onto your side, still beneath the warmth of your heavy duvet. A soft pillow cradled your head, goose down, plush and inviting. You didn't want to wake up- you wanted to give in to the overwhelming contentment. Your hands reached out, your eyes shut as you relished in the comfort of your bed.

Your hand tucked under your cheek as you opened one eye, focusing on the man next to you, his chest rising and falling slowly, peacefully. His skin lit up in the sun-tinged room, glowing softly, an image of pure serenity, nearly God-like.

You sighed softly, your eyes scanning his face. You didn't want to wake him. He needed every minute of sleep. You carefully pulled the covers back, goosebumps erupting at the flood of cold air hitting your skin.

A hand wrapped around your wrist, pulling you back with a strong tug. Simon enveloped you in his arms, cradling your body against his chest. You giggled softly when his lips nuzzled against your neck, pressing a lazy kiss against your skin.

"You sneakin' out on me?" He mumbled, muffled by your hair.

"Trying to," You smiled. "But you caught me."

He hummed, "Just need a few more minutes."

"I can do that," You said, your legs interlocking with his.

His hands followed the natural curve of your waist, meeting your hips, down your thighs. He pressed a palm against your leg, before running his fingers back through the carved path.

"You're barely awake and already feeling me up," You teased, your head turning to look at him.

His eyes were still shut, though his brows furrowed.

"Always in the mood to feel you up, sweetheart." His hand grabbed at one of your breasts, making you laugh- boisterous and genuine.

"You're insatiable." You shook your head.

"Can't blame me."

He pressed his hips into your backside, his erection pressing into you.

"Good dream?"

He shifted upward, his hand on your waist as he looked over you. Half-covered with the comforter, eyes still blinking slowly as you adjusted to the morning light, a mischievous smile across your face. He loved these mornings, slow and playful, where he could appreciate you in your purest form.

He would miss it- miss you. The first woman to force her way into his life and stay there. He'd grown fond of you. More than fond, if he was honest, but honesty scared the fuck out of him. As did vulnerability. He often worried he'd grow too close to you, open up a bit too much and you'd run the other way.

He rarely spoke of his childhood or innermost thoughts, but you made it bearable. He didn't have to hide it from you, didn't have to pretend he was put-together when he was really tearing at the seams. You'd kissed every wound, loved him regardless.

He loved you. He'd only said it once, maybe twice, too shamefully afraid, but you knew. He'd never known anything like the feeling that made him think of you, all the damn time. Made him want to make you happy, do the nervous boyfriend routine when he met your parents. Become a pathetic sop when he was wrapped in your arms.

He devoured every bit of yourself that you showed to him. Every secret, every terrible thing you'd ever done. He wasn't alone, not when you were there.

His hand reached down your pelvis, inching slowly to press the pad of his finger against your clit.

"Must've been good," You held back a smile, your eyes shutting as you basked in the pleasure of his fingers rubbing circles over the delicate organ.

He shook his head against the hard line of your jaw. "'S'all for you," He said quietly, his lips honing in on yours with a delicate kiss.

You moaned softly, your hand reaching for the side of his face. His tongue slid into your mouth gingerly, gliding against yours.

Your mouths moved in sync, a perfected routine. He quieted your moans with his mouth, shushing you with the use of his tongue.

He moved away, leaving you to chase after his lips, open your eyes to see him.

"You're too good to me," You smiled, your lips parting when he applied a bit more pressure with his fingers.

"I know," He replied. "Y'deserve every bit."

He hummed with approval as he looked over your blissful expression, leaning down to leave a trail of kisses across your neck and chest. His teeth nipped at your flesh, tongue sliding out to soothe the inflicted area.

"Just needed to feel you again," He mumbled. "Gonna be gone for a while."

You tried not to frown, tried not to show your utter disappointment upon remembering these would be your last moments together for months.

Your back arched inadvertently when he sunk two fingers inside you, quickly coated with your liquid arousal. A guttural moan left your lips, his thumb still circling your clit.

Your hand reached to stop his movements, your brows cresting, a pleading expression in your eyes. "I want you inside me."

His lips separated, your words creating a searing heat in his groin. The desperation in your voice tugged at a primal instinct inside him, to make you feel good, and it surely would've brought him to his knees had he been standing.

He readjusted himself, his eyes on yours as he massaged his cock with his hand. He moved slowly, angling your thigh to allow him better access. You curved your back, opening your thighs a bit wider as he searched for your entrance.

You felt the slick head of his cock press against you, easing in gently, your hymen stretching to accommodate his size. Your eyes squeezed shut, lip quivering as you bit down.

He was finally buried inside you, giving a low groan in your ear when he felt just how wet you were.

Your back against his chest, his hand slid around your waist, fingers splayed out over the expanse of your curves.

His hips rocked into you, his hand holding you tightly against him, your head fell into his chest. His other hand found yours beneath the pillow, squeezing tightly, reassuringly.

Your eyes opened, finding his amidst the crescendo of pleasure, watching his nostrils flare as he sucked in deep breaths, utterly dumbfounded by the way your pussy felt like it was made just for him.

You leaned in closer, nuzzling your face against his, soft whimpers leaving your lips when his cock hit your G-spot.

"Baby," You whispered, your hand reaching back to glide into his hair. "God, Simon."

"That's it, love," He cooed, through broken breaths and strained vocal cords. "S'alright."

Your heart stammered in your chest, before pounding harshly against your ribs, threatening to climb out your throat. His grip on your body was unrelenting, a solid reminder that it was him who made you feel that way, that had your hips grinding back against him, silently begging for more.

"'M gonna miss you," You breathed, "So much."

His hand slid down your waist, circling your neglected clit, matching the pace of his wonderfully slow thrusts.

"Miss you too," He sighed. "Always miss you, love."

You were restless against him, finding no solace in the idea that you were close to orgasm, and so was he. It would be over, and you'd have to start your day; leave the shelter of your bed, the place where you could hide from everything and everyone, together.

Your fingers replaced his on your clit, and he took advantage of the freedom, cupping your breasts with his large hand. His fingers ghosted over your perked nipples, listening to your soft moans, savouring the fruit of his labour.

"Simon-" You whispered, broken and breathless, hardly there but loud enough for him to hear.

He could feel your pussy fluttering around him, making him shut his eyes as he resisted the urge to cum. "I'm close."

He continued at his successful pace, trying not to watch the way you unraveled, how your back arched even further into him, your spine curving, how your skin flushed with the rush of endorphins. Your voice breaking out in a long, desperate moan, the sweetest sound he'd ever heard.

He was even closer now- your undoing had lead him right to his climax. His hips paused against your backside, a gust of his warm breath washed over your back as he exhaled harshly. He kept himself firmly planted inside you, still enjoying the addictive walls of your pussy.

He was apprehensive when he pulled away, shifting now to slide you even closer. He wrapped you in his arms again, his lips pressing against the salty skin of your temple.

"Gotta get goin'," He grumbled.

You nodded. "I know."

He'd been packed for a few days now, ready and waiting for the day he had to catch a flight out. You joined him at the front entrance of the apartment building, in your sweats, watching with red eyes and a forced smile as he shoved his bag into the seat of his SUV.

He moved back to you, enveloping you in a warm hug, his hands wrapping around your waist to hold you.

"I'll miss you," You whispered in his ear.

"Be back 'fore you know it, love," He said back, his lips kissing the sliver of skin showing on your shoulder.

"Better be- and in one piece," You tried to laugh, tried to make it easy.

"Behave yourself while I'm away," He warned, his hand sneaking down to take a handful of your backside.

You did laugh that time, genuine and unapologetic while passersby stared.

"Always," You pulled away. "I love you."

His eyes locked with yours, a soft smile forming over his lips- one of admiration and total devotion.

"Love you too."

Your insides warmed, cheeks glowing with pure adoration.

—

Simon's hearing had gone in his left ear- high-pitched ringing in the other. His eyes focused on the smoke, the still-spinning blades of the helo.

That was when he realized he could only see from one eye- blunt force trauma causing a blown pupil and detachment of his retina.

He tried to twist onto his front, at least have a chance at dragging himself to safety.

A searing pain ripped through his thigh as he lifted himself, and he peered down to find his femur poking through the skin, his torn fatigues covered with blood.

He inhaled, shaky and shallow, hardly enough to sustain his racing heart. Low groans of agony rumbled in his chest, his muscles twitching as he held the surrounding flesh of his broken bone. His head ached, throbbing and stinging, not yet realizing he'd cracked his skull, the flesh of his scalp held together by his helmet. Blood pooled on the ground beneath him.

His deafened ear leaked red, severe swelling of the brain pushing against the intact remainder of his skull.

He tried to sit up again, though couldn't find the strength. He was exhausted- dizzy with blood loss and no longer able to move his limbs quite right.

You, he thought, you'd be alone. You'd wonder where he was, what happened. Would they let you see his body? Or would they tell you he was M.I.A? He couldn't decide which would be worse; leaving you with unanswered questions or knowing he was never coming back. Would they tell you how hard he fought to stay alive for you, even if his entire body was begging to let go?

He was shivering, now. His body had started to focus all energy on his fatal injuries, desperately hanging on to any viable organs. It wouldn't work- it couldn't. Not even a goldstar field medic could piece him back together, not enough to call him human again. He wasn't sure if he'd want you to see him that way, either.

Fitting, he thought. Nothing good ever lasted for Simon Riley.

At least he'd told you he loved you. You'd know it was real, that he wasn't afraid anymore. You'd know he gave everything he had, including his trust, his feelings. The thought gave him a moment of comfort- or maybe it was the endorphins putting an end to his suffering. Either way, his chest warmed when he pictured that playful smile, your eyes. He yearned to have you there, holding his hand instead of digging his fingers into the wet earth. He'd made his grave inside you already, resigned to dying with you than without. You'd tell him it was alright, tell him to let go while he couldn't feel an ounce of pain. You were selfless like that.

All he could picture, as the last of his breath left his lungs, as his heart gave up on sustaining a worthless fight, was you. That morning in bed, before deployment, where you'd given another piece of yourself to him, selflessly. As always.

Thank God he'd told you he loved you.

[daydreamgoddess14]

The Ties that Bind - Chapter 7 - The End

Time to say goodbye to this story. I've had the most fun writing it, I've loved Seren 🥰. I really, truly hope you've liked it too - hugest thank yous to everyone who's read it 😘. Always feel free to comment or message me or drop me an ask - literally I need no excuse whatsoever to go feral over Jack Lowden!

I am terrified about how emotionally traumatic Episode 5 is going to be so I distracted myself by finishing this off.

CH 1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5 | CH 6

Masterlist

Tagging: @cillmequick & @thomasshelbyswife

Chapter 7

“Hi.” Seren said quietly, a small smile on her lips. River nodded, his mouth pinched in a tight line. He turned and went straight back into the kitchen. David gave her a push of encouragement towards the door and she followed him. His hands held the edge of the countertop with a white knuckle grip, she could see his back was tense and feared the worst. Confused, she spoke quickly. “You… you don’t want me here.” She concluded. “And I stupidly assumed you knew about this, I’m sorry.” She shook her head and held up her hands. “I’ll go and he can explain to you, we can figure out a rota or something.”

“He gets forgiven and I don't?” He asked quietly. She stopped in her tracks. 

“I haven't seen or spoken to you? Let's not forget who left me in the middle of the night and no word since?” 

“You didn't want me there.”

“Yeah, at first. I'm pretty sure that changed when-” she lowered her voice to a whisper, “when I let you into my bed! Or did you get what you wanted and that's that?” She hissed. His face fell. 

“Seren, you know that's not it. I left because I didn't want you to think that you had to forgive me. I wanted you to want to.” Seren took a deep breath and rubbed her temples.

“Look this is… I don't know how we've gone wrong here, I'm pretty sure we're agreeing but,” she shrugged, “this has all got fucked up somewhere.”

“Why would you think I don't want you here?”

“I dunno, this is your world, this MI5 bullshit and now I'm here and involved… what if that's what messes everything up?” She asked. 

“No, no, it's not.” He assured her. She could see the hurt in his eyes. She stepped towards him and covered his hand with her own, matching finger to finger. 

“No more cast?” 

“All healed. Well, I need to be careful but, y'know.”

“You're back to throwing fake punches, then?”

“Ahh, no. I gave up on that.” She traced his fingers with her own. 

“Oh?”

“I do spin class now instead.”

“The one on the bike?” She nodded in reply as he turned his hand around so they were palm to palm, and interlocked their fingers. He pulled a face. “Sounds grim.” 

“I needed the distraction.” She mused. “I know you were doing your job.” 

“Yeah.”

“And that job comes with a level of secrecy.”

“Yeah.” She squeezed his hand lightly and let go.

“Ok.”

“Ok?” He looked confused. 

“Ok. I get it.”

“... And?” She smiled at the hopeful look in his eyes, rolling her own in exasperation. 

“Do I need to spell it out?” He shrugged, a smile pulling at his mouth. “You're forgiven.” She told him solemnly. He smiled widely until she held up a hand and it faltered. “But-”

“But?”

“But I have let the entire secret service into my life - they have looked into everything I've ever done. They found out about when I got three speeding tickets in the space of a week fifteen years ago. They know every job I've ever had - including the Anne Summers Saturday job I had when I was seventeen. They know I broke my ankle when I was twenty one, they know how much Netflix I watch. They know more about my life than I can even remember, River. That's… a lot.”

“It is a lot, Seren dear, and I'm eternally grateful to you.” David ambled through, not paying any attention to their proximity. “It's rather a big commitment to make to two men who've mostly pissed you off. What was it you told me before?” He wondered, “Ah yes, we sounded desperate.” 

“You did.” She remembered with a smile. “You still do - I should fill up this fridge. Poor bugger, you've been living on microwave meals.” 

“He brought that on himself.” River pointed out, purposely nudging her. 

“How ever did the Cartwright men survive?” She wondered. 

“We didn't. That's why you're here.” David declared. 

“Hmmm, yes, and I expect you both to grovel for as long as I say so,” she called after him as he went back to the sitting room. She felt River behind her, his warm breath by her ear. 

“On my knees. Every day. If that's what it takes.” He murmured, placing a large palm on her stomach and pulling her body flush with his. She trembled against him as he leaned in to bite her earlobe, unable to stifle the low moan. She quickly clamped her hand over her mouth.

“Seren? Put the kettle on, would you?” David called. River gently pulled her hand from her mouth. 

“Better answer him. He might come looking for you.” 

“You knob,” she scowled. “It's on David, I'll come and get the pot in a minute.”

“Righto,” he said cheerfully, she vaguely heard the rustle of the newspaper over the pounding of her heart. The hand River had on her stomach had slipped under her t-shirt and drew loose patterns on her skin. The front of her thighs pressed against the table and she had visions of being bent over it, lifting her hips to meet his while her fingers gripped the varnished wood and he pounded into her. The thought had her keening against him as his hand moved up to cup her breast over her bra. 

“Something you need?” He asked, his voice low in her ear. She didn't trust herself to speak, instead she arched her back and pushed herself back against his hard cock. He growled against her neck, “I could just bend you over this table?” She whimpered in agreement. “But not now.” Seren twisted in his arms and moved her legs to let him rest between them. She moaned into his mouth as his tongue slid against hers. 

“River-” She whispered as he bit along her jawline. 

“Not here. I want to hear you next time.” He looked at her intently, his eyes bright blue and dancing with mischief. Seren whined in frustration. “I want to see how many times I can get you to make that sound,” he kissed her again. “I want to hear you every time you say my name, and,” he kissed the tip of her nose, “I want to not wake up to an empty bed this time.”

“You and me both,” she breathed. 

“Are we OK?”

“I mean, aside from this still probably completely inappropriate -”

“At least I'm not the one paying you anymore.”

“Fair point, yes, we're OK.” He leaned in to kiss her again, “but-” Seren held up a finger to his lips which he promptly drew into his mouth, making her whimper. “We really should figure out what this is, because I don't want to make my working here awkward or confusing for David.” He released her finger and nodded. 

“You're the boss.” He said with a smirk.

“Not you anymore, is it?” She teased, “no more calling you ‘sir’.”

“Makes sense, I'm the one supposed to be grovelling.” 

“On your knees wasn't it?” She asked curiously, looping her arms around his neck. 

“You got it.”

“My place later?” 

“Fuck yes.” 

“Seren?” David called from the living room. Her head dropped to River's shoulder.

“Later.” He promised. 

“On my way,” she called back to David, pushing River back so she could stand up away from the table. She went to collect the teapot and check what he needed while River put the kettle on. 

*

Seren left the Cartwright’s late afternoon, saying goodbye to both of them. Only a couple of hours later, River knocked on her door. She let him in and had barely closed the door behind her before River had her backed up against it. 

“All day,” he muttered against her collarbone, “been thinking about this all fucking day.” 

“Oh god, River-” She panted as he grasped the soft flesh of her thighs. “Wait, wait, wait, I’ve just come from the gym, I’m disgusting.” She pointed out. He leaned back to look at her, hair piled into a bun on the top of her head wearing a crop top and lycra leggings.

“Don’t care,” he muttered, licking a path down her neck.

“Fuck me,” she gasped as he bit her bare shoulder.

“Yep, that’s what I -” he broke off, listening, “what’s that noise?”

“The shower. I told you, I’ve just got back from the gym.” He took her hand and led her to the bathroom where steam billowed out from the still running shower. He reached out to unzip the front of her crop top and threw it in the vague direction of her washing basket, he pulled off his own t-shirt and added it to the pile. “What are you up to?” She wondered aloud, taking off the rest of her gym kit and stepping into the hot shower. He stepped in behind her and poured vanilla scented body wash into his hands until it frothed. He stood closely behind her so she could lean against him, and rubbed the soapy water from her hands, up to her shoulders and across the other side. He held her against him as he gently washed her stomach, over her breasts and the rest of her body. She sighed contentedly.

“This ok?” He asked, his hands running over and between her thighs. She nodded and reached up to pull the hair tie from her bun. River guided them further under the water stream, his height over her giving him a direct line of sight down her body. Seren took the shampoo from the shelf and he took it from her, gently washing her hair. He took his time, she relaxed against him, his eyes were drawn to the path the droplets of water took over her skin, like memories of where his mouth had been.

“Why’re you doing this?” She questioned as his fingers kneaded through her hair. She moaned at the slight pull, he kissed her neck, acknowledging that he’d heard her response.

“You look after everyone.” He explained simply. He replaced the shampoo and picked up the conditioner, repeating the same process until Seren was dizzy with her need for him. 

They lay nose to nose in Seren’s bed, close to sleep.

“We should be careful, David put himself out there by demanding Taverner employed me. I don’t want to break his trust.”

“I know. This doesn’t have to be complicated, maybe we should just enjoy the distraction. Keep it simple.” He rolled onto his back and pulled her with him. He felt her nod in agreement.

“Yeah. Keep it simple.”

“I want you to be able to walk away from this one day. You don’t want MI5 in your life forever.” He reasoned, half asleep. Seren stayed quiet. His breathing evened out and the hand that brushed up and down her bare back fell still.

“What if I do?” She whispered to the darkness.

*

Seren was on her way to David's when the phone rang through the car. 

“Ms Harrison?” Her stomach dropped to her feet, it didn't sound like Taverner fortunately, so her mind immediately went to the next worst case scenario - Mags in the care home. 

“Yes, that's me?”

“I'm calling from Medway hospital, we have David Cartwright here - you're listed as one of his emergency contacts?”

“David? Oh, god. Yes, yes I'm his home help, I'm on my way there now, what's happened?” She came to a set of lights and did a u-turn.

“You're not live in?”

“No, we didn't think he needed that just yet.”

“It's not too serious, he's had a fall and managed to get to his panic button. The ambulance brought him in about half an hour ago.”

“Ok, have you called his other emergency contact?”

“Not yet -”

“I will. I'll do it. I'll be there in five minutes.” Seren hung up and flicked her eyes to her dash display to select River's name.

“I was just thinking about you,” he answered before she could get a word in. 

“He's had a fall. I'm on my way to the hospital,” she interrupted quickly. 

“Shit, ok, I'm on my way.”

“They said it wasn't serious but-” her voice cracked. 

“It’s going to be fine, I'll be there as soon as I can.”

“I'll call you when I know more.” He hung up first, she could hear muttered swearing as the handset moved from his ear so he could end the call. After hastily abandoning her car in the first space she saw, she raced to the reception desk. “David Cartwright, please? Came in an ambulance, I was just speaking with someone?” The computer keyboard clicked as the receptionist tapped her manicured fingers on the keys.

“Ahh yes, he's on the Acute Medical unit, Lister Ward, follow signs for Red 3. You're going behind me, turn left and up the stairs.”

“Thanks!” Seren ran toward the stairs to the next reception desk where she repeated who she was. A nurse led her down the brightly lit corridor to a small ward of 4 beds. In the far corner by the window was David. She rushed for the bed, managing to stop and slow down as she reached the end of the bed. “David,” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. She went to his bedside and took his hand carefully, taking note of the cannula in the back. She followed the tubes up to an IV bag. His hand felt small and weightless in hers, the skin paper thin and cool to touch. 

“You've cold hands, dear girl.” He said hoarsely. She closed her eyes in relief at the sound of his voice. 

“Cold hands, warm heart.” She told him, reaching her other hand out to brush his hair from his eyes. “What have you been up to? Silly man.”

“Thought I'd get the kettle on for us, came a cropper on the stairs.” She tsked him lightly with click of her tongue. 

“Shit, I need to tell River you're OK, he's bombing down the motorway,” she picked up her phone and found his number. “He's OK, awake and talking to me. I just need to find a nurse for an update. Lister ward, Red zone 3.” She told him quietly. River arrived as the nurse did. They all listened patiently as she explained that aside from some bruises from the fall, he was perfectly fine but they did want to keep him in for a few days as a precaution. Once the nurse had left, River was able to reach to embrace David. He could only watch Seren but he could see she was itching to be closer to him. 

“You allowed a coffee old man?”

“I bloody better be, I shall discharge myself if not.” He declared. 

“Seren?”

“Yeah, I'll pop to the bathroom and help you bring them back. Won't be long, no causing trouble,” she warned David. In the safety of the corridor, away from the doorway to the ward, River pulled Seren into his arms. 

“You ok?”

“Silly bugger scared the shit out of me, I think I got flashed I got here so fast.” She grumbled, taking a deep inhale of the soap from her bathroom mixed with his own scent. He kissed the top of her head and then lifted her chin to kiss her properly, more intimately than she'd expected in public. The nurse who'd spoken to them blushed as she manned the reception desk. 

“C'mon, let's get his coffee, I only got you out here so I could kiss you.” He reluctantly let her go and went to push coins into the machine.

“You don't have to stick around here all day, you know?” David told her, “someone else is babysitting, go and enjoy yourself.” Seren looked torn. 

“I mean it. And you, shouldn't you be back in London? I certainly don't need both of you here.” He turned his attention to River. 

“I could go and visit Maggie,” Seren wondered aloud.

“Go,” David smiled. “Do go, dear girl. I'm fine, really.” River watched the guilt gnawing at her, that she hadn't been there early enough in the morning to have prevented the fall. Despite what the nurse had said, the worry was still etched in her face. 

“You should go, I'll stay here.”

“No you won't, I already told you, back to work.” River grimaced. “Go on, off you go.”

“Ok, if you insist?” Seren stood up and helped him get more comfortable in the bed, smoothing out the blanket, pouring more water for him and getting the newspaper from her bag along with a pen. “I'll be back later this evening, call me if you want me to bring anything else?” River watched, awed by their bond, the shorthand in their conversation and Seren's clear love for his grandfather. She kissed his forehead and gave him a winning smile, disguising the worry. “Be good for the nurses.” 

“I'll walk out with you, if you're sure grandad?”

“I am indeed, leave me in peace with my crossword.” River gave his hand a squeeze and gestured for Seren to go ahead of him. She turned at the door to wave at David. 

“So… going to work?” She asked once they were in the corridor. 

“No way, I'm going wherever you're going.”

“Oh you are, are you? To visit Maggie then?”

“Lead the way. We can drop your car off at the house and I'll drive?”

“Something wrong with my car?”

“Apart from the music choices?” She arched an eyebrow, 

“Tread carefully, Cartwright.”

“3 speeding tickets in one week, you got flashed this morning, it sounds like the wheels are about to drop off… anything else? Is your engine light on this week?” She scowled. 

“Not this week, no. I did do a probably illegal u-turn this morning though.” 

“Probably illegal?” He teased, slinging an arm around her as they left the hospital. 

*

“Seren, darling!” Mags called across the sunroom of the care home the second she came into view. Seren let the older woman pull her into a bear hug deceptively strong for someone in their eighties. 

“Hello Mags. God, I've missed you.” Seren squeezed tighter until Maggie clocked River standing further back. 

“Oh! You've brought your handsome man with you!”

“My friend, Mags. River is my friend.” 

“Well friendship suits you dearie, you certainly never looked this happy when you were my friend.” Maggie said slyly. 

“What's all this ‘was’ your friend, I am your friend you daft old bat.” 

“Cheeky, I can have you kicked out. Leave the man behind though.”

“No chance. How've you been?”

“Sit, sit, both of you. Are the girls getting some tea? I'm not too bad,” she flapped. “Service could be better,” she grumbled, looking around for a member of staff. 

“I'm fine, really good. You look well?” River sat down next to Seren but held back as the women talked, only being drawn when Maggie insisted. Seren's relationship with Maggie was similar to the one she had with David, she loved them and cared for them as if they were her own grandparents. He found himself lost in a near future where David wasn't around any longer. Found himself wondering and then what? It hadn't occurred to him that one day, his only relationship with someone outside of work would no longer be there. He would essentially be alone. He missed what Seren said as she stood up and brushed his shoulder as she left the room, but Maggie soon dragged him back into the conversation. 

“You're very quiet darling. I'm sure he'll be just fine.” River frowned. “Your grandfather? Seren said you've both come from the hospital this morning?”

“Sorry, yes. Yeah I'm sure he'll be OK.”

“But you're not?” She mused. “Out with it, before she gets back?”

“He's all I've got. It just occurred to me that he's all I've got apart from a few colleagues I'm not sure I'd call friends.” His brow furrowed again. 

“You've got her,” she nodded over at Seren who was laughing with one of the staff members. Her smile was radiant. He shook his head. 

“We decided to keep it simple, nothing serious.” Maggie's chuckle turned into a cough. 

“If you say so, love.” Seren came back over and Maggie fell silent.

“Apparently they're about to take you through for afternoon tea, so we'll head out.”

“Wonderful to see you. Bring cake next time, theirs is shite.” 

“Love you, Mags. Be good.” Seren gave her a hug and once she was released, Maggie ordered River over. 

“Don't be a fool, young man,” she muttered quietly. “Lovely to see you both, off you pop now.” As they left the room with Maggie watching, Seren slipped her hand into his and squeezed. 

“Everything alright?” She asked, her voice laced with concern. He nodded. 

“Yeah, yeah fine.” She didn't look entirely convinced, but let it go. “I, uhh, I'm going to head back to London if you don't mind?” Seren shook her head slowly.

“Sure, ok. I'll get my car and go back to the hospital for an hour.” They drove back to David's in near silence with Seren trying to understand what had happened over the previous couple of hours to have caused River to retreat into himself so much. “I'll call you later?” She asked, confused and a little hurt.

“Yeah, let me know if he needs anything. Otherwise I'll be back in a couple of days when he's ready to be discharged.” Seren nodded, her smile tight. She got straight into her car and decided to head straight to the hospital, not wanting to be alone. 

River made it one junction up the motorway back to London before turning around and going to Seren's house. She arrived home to find him sitting on the doorstep. She stopped suddenly, almost falling over him. 

“Oh shit!” She yelped, “you scared me half to death. What are you doing here, I thought you were going home?” He got to his feet and moved aside so she could unlock the door. She pushed it open and let him through first. “River? I thought you were going home?”

“I did. I am.” He said softly. Seren frowned a little, unsure of his meaning. 

“Ok,” she said gently, “ok. Let's get some food, you must be freezing.” He followed her to the kitchen where he sat at the table while she pottered around cooking. “David's doing fine, I think they'll probably let him out tomorrow. There's no reason to keep him in and they need the bed space.” She chatted to him, filling the silence. “I know you must be worried, but he's honestly alright. I'm sure the nurses are sick of him already. He was struggling to remember who I was, but I think it's the unfamiliar surroundings. I spent two hours with him telling me about his wonderful grandson, and then as I was getting ready to leave, he recognised me.” He moved to stand behind her, his chin on her shoulder and arms looped around her waist. She turned a little to offer him a spoonful of the rich tomato sauce she'd made. He nodded his approval and kissed her lightly, feeling her relax in his arms. His silence had made her tense, he realised. “You know you can talk to me about anything?” She hesitated, not wanting to overstep. 

“Yeah.” She didn't push any further but handed him a plate of pasta. “I always thought he was invincible.” He admitted sadly. She held her breath, waiting for him to go on. “Having you here, he was doing so much better. I thought he'd be here forever.”

“He's still here,” she reminded him, taking his hand. 

“And when he's not? Then what?” She shook her head.

“I don't know,” she confessed. She pushed the food around her plate, her appetite gone. “He talks about you constantly,” she started. “All the bloody time, even when he's lost in the past. He loves you so much, River.” 

“I can count on one hand the number of times he’s said it.” He mumbled, trying to recall the last time he heard it from anyone. His grandmother, Rose, before she'd died most likely. When he looked up from the table to see Seren watching him, he expected to see pity in her eyes, but there was none. 

“Earlier,” she took a deep breath, “when I said I thought you were going home? You said you are.” She paused, halfway between wanting and not wanting an answer to the question hanging in the air. “What did you mean?” 

“I love you.” He said softly, realising that he hadn't said the words since his grandmother had died, let alone heard them. “I've spent all day wondering what will happen when he's gone, when I'm alone, where home is. But I shouldn't have, because I'm not alone.” She shook her head, the movement spilling tears down her cheeks.

“No, you're not.” She moved from her seat at the table and onto his lap, holding his face in her hands. “You're not alone, I love you.” She kissed him, her hands leaving his face to run through his hair. “God, you're such a fucking moron.” He laughed into her neck. 

“When I saw how much you care for him, and for Maggie… She told me. She said I'd got you too. I know I said we should just be able to walk away, no hard feelings, but I don't want that.”

“You've always had me, I'm not going anywhere.” She sighed, heavy with relief and finally relaxing into him. “We do need to work out what to tell him though?” He kissed her shoulder. 

“Mmm. Give me tonight, that's tomorrow's problem.”

*

“Watch your step,” Seren warned, holding David's elbow as he lifted himself out of River’s car. River came round from the driver’s side to take his other arm but was swiftly batted away. Seren bit her lip to disguise the smile.

“Watch my bloody step,” he grumbled. “You watch out, I can still tell Taverner I’ve had enough of you too.”

“Ahh but then she’ll send back Pete who can’t play chess.” River told him.

“Is he the one who drank IPA? Disgusting stuff. I couldn’t even get him to fetch me a decent bottle of scotch. Over my dead body will he be back.” David complained.

“I’m sure he wasn’t that bad.” Seren reasoned as River went ahead of them to unlock the door.

“He was.” They stepped over the threshold together, “and he couldn’t make coffee and walnut cake.” David beamed at the sight of the cake in the centre of the table.

“God, what a crime. Looks like you did the right thing getting me back.” Seren guided him to the sitting room. “Are you feeling ok?”

“I’m not breakable, dear. I’m fine. They let me out didn’t they?”

“Yeah cos they were sick of you.” River muttered under his breath so only Seren could hear, disguising her laugh with a cough.

“I heard that young man. Seren, would you cut that cake please?”

“No problem, tea?”

“Excellent.” He settled back in his armchair, making himself comfortable. In the kitchen, Seren set a tray with cake plates and mugs. She drifted towards River as he came in.

“S’good to have him back here.” She smiled. He took her hand and pulled her away from the tray and into his arms. 

“Yeah it is. Means I shouldn’t be kissing you in the kitchen anymore though,” he grumbled. She leaned up on tiptoes and grazed her lips against his.

“As if that stopped you before.” She challenged. 

“Put her down River, goodness me I may as well look after myself if you’re going to distract her constantly.” David chided from the doorway. Seren sprung from River’s arms, blushing furiously.

“Shit, David, I’m so sorry. I-”

“No need to be sorry, dear. Did you really think I didn’t know? I may be losing my mind but I’m certain my eyesight is perfectly fine. I did tell you, he was bound to have his head turned by a pretty girl. I’m just glad it’s you.” Seren’s mouth formed a perfect O shape. “Just getting a pen for the crossword, I’ll leave you both to it.” He wandered back to the sitting room. “Wouldn’t say no to that cake, though?” He shouted.

FIN

[dangerpronebuddie]

Buck gives Eddie a ring camera - they have separate shifts, Chims trying to teach Eddie how to use it - connects to Bucks house where they hear and see him talking to his friends about a plan to get over Eddie an it starts that night (maybe bucks gonna fuck someone else or maybe he’s just got a date idk) que Eddie freaking out

Im never gonna write it so you’ll have to deal with this idea stuck in your head just like mine

Nonnie, how dare you (affectionate) 😁

I saw this at 8am. By 10am, I had the thing written. I don't know what possessed me. Hope this is something like what you had in mind! 🥰😘

Ta da! 🎉

Lost Control And Rang Your Bell 3k

"I can't lose him, Maddie." "Who says you will?" she asks. "I know him. I know what he'd do," Buck says. "He'd let me down easy, because he's just that good. He'd say we can still be friends, but it'll be awkward and weird, and I can't do that to him." "You don't even know how he feels," Maddie says. "You're taking his chance to tell you away from him." Jealousy curls around Eddie's chest like a climbing vine. Buck hasn't mentioned any new crushes. For a brief moment, Eddie thinks maybe he means Tommy, but they aren't friends, not really. Haven't stayed in touch since the ship. Unless Eddie just didn't know. "I have to," Buck says, his voice breaking. "Maybe we shouldn't be listening to this," Chim whispers, like they could actually hear him. Maddie speaks before Eddie has the chance to say anything. Chim, just as nosy, doesn't leave the app. (Or, Buck buys Eddie a Ring doorbell and Eddie overhears something he really shouldn't have).

Read on ao3

[marimayscarlett]

Hello lovely!

Because I love your takes and posts on the eternally beautiful, wonderful Richard Z. Kruspe, I was wondering what your top five random weird facts about him are - like silly things he’s said or other people have said about him (e.g. Khira’s post on insta complaining about all the naked lady art in the house!)

TY! 😘

Hello my dear and thank you so much for your ask! Glad you enjoy my posts, this means a lot to me 🥰

This one took me a while (had to comb through several interviews for this), but I shamelessly used this ask to create two little lists - one with weird little facts/moments and one with interesting little facts in general. Not necessarily my top five (would be super hard to pick them), but moments which I think about currently. A lot 😄

Random weird facts and moments:

Literally this interview. He had absolutely no restraint and some pick-me-vibes going on, especially in these moments: - Interviewer: 'On the surface, the title A Million Degrees seems to suggest heat or that you are implying that the music is hot or on fire.' RZK: 'Or just me!' (laughs) - Interviewer: (speaking about the possibility of Emigrate opening for Rammstein) 'Isn’t it physically exhausting, too?' RZK: 'Yeah, it’s like having two women in the same night!' (laughs) - Interviewer: (after explaining her thoughts about the title "A million degrees) 'So, out of curiosity, what was your intention with the album’s title?' RZK: 'I always knew that women were smarter than men!'

me reading this entire interview:

That recording an album with Rammstein can be quite exhausting is something Richard (and sometimes also other members) mentioned several times. They discuss a lot, sometimes have verbal fights, etc. - but Richard admitted that he sometimes wished for proper "Wild West" fist fights because that maybe would've also solved some problems 👀 (as I mentioned some time ago, how about some anger management my guy) (source)

Poor little lad does not understand the concept of strip clubs, plus since he doesn't drink alcohol, it's apparently abysmally boring for him in these locations 😪 Better write a strip song, fitting for a good striptease, and that's how we got the song "Get Down" (source)

Widely known, but still: this moment from this interview: - Interviewer: 'What would you spend your last £20 on?' RZK: 'How much is that in Euros, about 20? A nice blowjob! Actually, change that - a handjob. Yes, they're easy to get near where I live. I could get 20 minutes for 20€, that's good value!'

2. Random interesting (at least for me) facts in general:

In this podcast Richard mentions that the Emigrate album "The persistence of memory" essentially was a therapeutic project for him. In 2019, he fell into a heavily depressive episode after the tour and even contemplated quitting music completely. So he started to sift through his old compositions and songs he had on his computer, some dating back over 20 years, and somehow found his love for music again through those memories - and this album, which was not at all planned, was the result of this process. This is the reason why we have songs like "Freeze my mind" for example, which dates all the way back to 2001 and was written by Richard and his then-wife Caron.

In this interview Richard mentions that these four songs are his favourites (at least at this point in time): - Hurt by Nine Inch Nails - Babe I'm gonna leave you by Led Zeppelin - Sin City by AC/DC - Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode

The book "Perfume" by Patrick Süßkind (which explores dark themes of obsession and power, linked with the sense of smell and emotions), which he read as a teenager, was the reason why he wanted to create something which REALLY moves a crowd, like the perfect song. (source)

Here Richard mentioned that when his daughter Khira was younger, he played her a lot of the Rammstein tracks because he knew she would be brutally honest and give him straightforward feedback. This didn't work anymore after some time, since as a teenager she later learned how to please him and get what she wanted (let's be real, we've all been there). Plus, he's apparently a rather strict parent, believing that you have to make a lot of experiences to get forward in life and that self-discipline helps a great deal.

In this interview, Richard mentions that he likes to pick out an audience member to get an connection to through eye contact (at least this was the case back then) - and this eye contact helps him to put on a good show, most likely to play the concert for this particular fan. Plus he thinks about doing mediation after a concert, as a vent to balance out all the energy he's absorbed from the crowd.

I hope these lists are at least a bit like what you had in mind as an answer 😊 Thanks a lot again for this ask 🤍

[dailynnt]

FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE

⊹ Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.

⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.

⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+

⊹ 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤

⊹ 📘 Number of part: 23/?

⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words.

⊹ 👩🏼‍💻 From the author: A new part for you all 🥳 It was difficult for me to write this. By the way, I should have written a little more, this part should have included more scenes. But I was forced to replace and post this part as it turned out. Please let me know if you liked it 🥺💜 Because it was so hard for me 🥹

⊹ 🫂 Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs. You are my favorite person 😘🥰 You know that I appreciate you so much and LOVE you🥰💜

⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

⊹ 📋 Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou, @nikkinikj, @lovelyyylunaa222, @jiminiemanura, @jalexad, @kelsyx33, @bhonbhon, @unholyforjk, @ambiee3, @mianhae-baozi (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)

≣ Chapter Index ↓

Part 21. The Dance of Souls on the Edge of the Abyss. 

Jungkook hesitates a bit, looking closely at your face, as if trying to catch the slightest hint of what you're feeling. You continue to avoid his gaze, hoping that this will hide your inner storm.  

He nods slightly, holding the boxes of food, and heads over to the table by the microwave. You hear him set them down on the countertop, opening the packages. The metallic sound of the microwave door breaking the tense silence. 

Time seems to slow down. You fight with yourself, with the urge to run away and approach him at the same time. After all, he made you suffer. But now that he's so close, your heart seems to find a peace it hasn't felt in weeks. 

You try to get down to work, ignoring Jungkook's presence, but your eyes keep coming back to him like a magnet. You're standing behind the counter, putting cigarettes on the counter, and you see Jungkook's broad back. He's fiddling with a box of ramen and rustling a package of onigiri. 

You scold yourself mentally for looking at him. You should be concentrating on your work. An hour passes. Jungkook has eaten, but he's not going anywhere.

The store is crowded tonight, you're constantly serving people. It's because it's Saturday. On weekends, there are always people at night in a convenience store. This saves you, because you don't pay so much attention to the presence of a person who occupies all your thoughts. Another hour passes, and Jungkook is still sitting at the table. 

You can't go over and see what he's doing, all you can see is his broad back. He's turned away. You think that maybe he has to meet someone here, so he showed up today. That might explain why he's not leaving. Maybe he didn't even know you worked here and ran into you by chance? 

You made eye contact with him a few times. Jungkook has been sitting with his back turned almost all the time, but now he's sitting with his back to the countertop, which is located near the panoramic window of the store. He was openly watching you work without hiding it. Sometimes you glanced over at him and saw him looking bored, staring at his phone. 

The work went by quickly, and you didn't notice how it was getting light outside. When you felt drowsy sitting at the cash register, you decided to look at your watch. It was seven thirty in the morning. You rounded your eyes. Time had passed so quickly. In half an hour, Sunchol should be here. You yawn sleepily, locking your phone and putting it in your pocket. 

You hear something fall and immediately look up. Jungkook has dropped his car keys on the ground. He quickly picks them up and catches your eye. He smiles an apologetic smile. You look at him and realize that he's been sitting with you all night. You're kind of glad about it, but on the other hand, you wonder why he needed to if he was just sitting there. He could have talked if he wanted to. 

Jungkook walks over to the cash register and you get to your feet. Your heart was calm while he was at a distance, but as soon as he approaches, you're not yourself. 

"Two packs of Black Purple sticks, please?" - Jungkook asks you. You look at him for a second and turn to the showcase of IQOS sticks. You pick up a black pack of cigarettes. 

"Nine thousand won." - You answer. "It’s be payment a map?" - Jungkook nods his head in agreement. You enter the amount on the terminal and hand it over. Jungkook pays and takes the sticks. 

"When do you get off work?" - Jungkook asks you. You are confused for a moment. 

"At eight o'clock." - You answer. But you immediately regret it. You realize that he might want to talk. But you're not sure if you're ready to talk to him right now. 

"Do you mind if I give you a ride home?" - He asks with hope in his voice. You look into his eyes, and you don't want to say “no”. You really want him to give you a ride. Now you know for sure that he stayed up all night for you. 

"I live right next door, so no need." - You answer. Jungkook nods his head a few times quickly, as if to say "I get it." 

"Then I'll just walk you home?" - He doesn't give up. You're glad he's persistent. You pinch your fingers nervously. 

"Don't you have any other plans? Like going home and getting some sleep?" - You suggest. Jungkook smiles. You can see how tired he looks. 

"I don't want to sleep." - He says. You squint your eyes. He's lying to you again. You are a little more silent than necessary. 

"But I want to." - You suddenly admit, which makes Jungkook laugh. For a moment, you forget what kind of relationship you have and feel relaxed. It's like coming home after a long journey. Your phone vibrates and you take it out to see who has texted you. 

07.39 AM | Doohoon: Candy, I'll come get you in 20 minutes. 

You nervously text back, ignoring the way Jungkook is admiring you. He comes as close to the counter as he can to see every detail. To memorize every feature of your beautiful face as clearly as possible. He missed you so much. 

07.40. AM | You: There's no need to go. I've already left because Sunchol came early. I'm going to sleep, so don't come over

You lock your phone and notice Jungkook, who is close by. He smiles playfully when he sees your scared look. You immediately feel embarrassed by that smile. You know it so well, Jungkook often used it when he knew he was embarrassing you. 

"So I'll walk you." - He says, not asking, but telling you. You press your lips into a thin line. This is what you want. Admit it. Why are you resisting? You feel your heart start to beat faster. His voice was soft but insistent, and you found it hard to deny.

"Jungkook..." - You start, but he immediately interrupts you. 

"I know you don't want me here…" - He sighs, looking away, but then back to you. "But I'm just going to walk with you. Nothing more." - You can't find anything to say. Two feelings are fighting in your head: anxiety that he's back and warmth that he's here.

"Nothing will change if you walk me home." - You say, hiding your hands in your pockets. "So there's no point in it." 

"What if I told you that it changes everything for me?" - He replies, leaning a little closer. You look at him nervously again, but try to keep a cool expression on your face.

"You're very stubborn, you know?" - You try not to smile. 

"I know." - Jungkook smiles, unlike you. "Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to spend the whole night with you without saying a word, and now I'm standing here hoping you'll let me walk these few steps next to you." - You are amazed. He wants to be close to you that badly? It's so exciting. Especially when you feel the same way.

But you can't be fooled. How does he make you forget everything you've been through because of him so easily? Why does just looking at him make you think that the Jungkook you're looking at now is the real one, not the one that was in the warehouse three weeks ago?

"You shouldn't want something like this..." - You say dryly. You wonder to yourself how you can talk to him like that. But you have to do it because you don't want to suffer anymore. You have already left everything to fate once.

"But I want to." - Jungkook says decisively. "There's no way you're going to deny me." - You raise your eyebrows. You really can't say no to him. The thought irritates you. 

"I can deny to you walking me home." - You say, smiling almost triumphantly. 

"But you haven't done that yet." - Jungkook curls his lips. You open your mouth to protest, but before you can answer, Sunchol walks into the shop. 

"Did you see that Mercedes parked outside the store? Damn, that car..." - He freezes when he sees the picture in front of him. You're standing there, annoyed, with your mouth open, and Jungkook is standing close to the counter, leaning on it. "Good morning." - Sunchol greets the two of you and bows. Most likely to Jungkook, because he has never bowed to you. Sungchul walks toward you, and Jungkook steps away from the counter, while you look down and clean up your workspace and prepare it for your partner. 

"Do you like the car?" - Jungkook asks Sunchol, who has come over and is about to go behind the counter to you. 

"Yes." - The guy answers awkwardly. Jungkook notices how he takes a second to study him with his eyes. 

"Do you want me to give you a ride?" - Jungkook asks. You and Sunchol stare at Jungkook. He smiles as if he offered free ice cream, not a ride in his G-Wagon to your partner.

"Thank you, sir." - Sunchol bowed, overcoming the shock of the offer. "But I don't have a driver's license, and I don't know how to drive well." - He replied. Jungkook purrs in understanding and turns his gaze to you.

You roll your eyes defiantly and open the cash register to count the money. Jungkook laughs quietly. Sunchol sees that you two have some kind of relationship. You wouldn't roll your eyes at a normal customer like that. 

"You must be Doohoon? Y/N's friend?" - Your partner asks. You want to answer that Jungkook is not the Doohoon you mentioned to Sunchol in passing, but Jungkook interrupts you. 

"I'm Jungkook, Y/N's boyfriend." - Jungkook was annoyed that he was confused with Doohoon. Did you introduce him to this guy as your friend? 

You freeze up. Who did he say he was? Has he so much insolent? 

"You forgot to add ex." - You said ironically. Jungkook pursed his lips, and you turned your eyes to his mole under his lip. It was your favorite, except for the one on the right side of his neck. 

Jungkook leans forward a little, leaning on the counter, and looks you in the eye. His gaze is a mixture of challenge and insistence.

"I'm not the ex, I'm the present, and I always will be your boyfriend." - His voice is calm but confident, as if he's just made an indisputable statement.

You rest your hands on the counter and lean in closer, keeping your eyes on him too.

"That's a bold statement, but you forgot to ask me if I agree with it." - You say coldly, though your chest is tight.

"I... I think I'll go check on the back room." - Sunchol says, clearly uncomfortable with the situation, and quickly finds an excuse to leave the counter. He walks away, and you cross your arms over your chest and keep your eyes on Jungkook.

"Why did you say that? Do you think you can decide what kind of relationship we have?" - You asked angrily. 

"I don't decide of my own, it's the way it is. We're boyfriend and girlfriend." - Jungkook says. You exhale nervously. 

"No, we're not together anymore. I thought you realized that the last time we saw each other." - You say, trying to control your emotions. 

"We just had a fight. That's what happens when people get together." - Jungkook said casually. So he thinks that when you were kidnapped, tried to be hurt because of him, and you heard all the terrible things he did, you had a simple fight against the background of these events? Is it that simple for him? 

"We had a fight? I was kidnapped because of you. They wanted to cut me into pieces. We did not quarrel. I left you so that I could be okay. And now you come here and say you're my boyfriend. What makes you think you can come into my life like this?" - You were irritated. 

Jungkook straightens up a little, taking a step back, and keeps his eyes on you.

"Because I'm already in it. I always have been. And I will be, even if you're trying to deny it now." - He says decisively. For a moment, you remember how good it was when he didn't talk all night. He annoys you, although if you're honest, you liked the way he said it: "I'm already in him, I've always been and I'll always be." You want to believe that Chunguk will always be in your life. You sigh, but your persistence begins to weaken.

"Jungkook... We... we have nothing. It's not going to work. We're strangers." - You say, looking down and counting the money. You have to count it to finish the shift. The boss is coming in soon, but you can't get your thoughts together at all. 

"We're not strangers, baby...and we never will be." - Jungkook says softly. You almost cry at the sweet nickname he likes to call you. Your heart is tightening and your breathing is getting harder. You want to say something back, but the words get stuck in your throat.

"I have to hand in my shift. I need to count the money..." - You want to say that Jungkook should leave because he's interfering with your work, but he knows what you're about to say, so he interrupts. 

"I'll wait. And then I'll walk you home." - You see those eyes in Bambi's and you can't say “no”. 

"Maybe I don't want you to know where I live." - You say more softly. Jungkook is amused. 

"Oh, baby, you know I'm going to find out anyway... or I already do." - Jungkook says. You sigh in frustration.

"Okay..." - You finally agree. He really pressed you. 

You look down at your feet and lose yourself in space. You feel a little tense. In fact, you are tired and want to sleep, but when you realize that Jungkook is next to you, your tiredness is gone. He touches your hand with his own, as if by accident, letting the person who was walking to meet him pass. 

This accidental touch burns in the place where he touched you. You have forgotten what it feels like when he touches you. How his hugs and kisses feel like. How it’s when his naked skin feels like when it's pressed against yours. You burn at the thought of such intimate images with Jungkook. You haven't had sex in three weeks, and you sure Jungkook hasn't either. So even this simple contact makes you think about forbidden things. 

"Do you like living in this neighborhood?" - Jungkook asks to get your attention. You stare at him for just a second, unable to bear his gaze. You pull your arms around the collar of your jacket to keep it from getting too cold. 

"Yes." - You say. Although the real answer to this question is “no”. No, because there is no Jungkook here, annoying Doohoon comes here, it's too far from the university campus, and the apartment is expensive. You don't like living here at all, but how can you say that to him? 

"How are you doing? Have you been sick? Are you eating well?" - Jungkook asks. You freeze in the middle of the sidewalk. Jungkook doesn't immediately notice that you're not there. After he walks a few steps, he turns around, looking for you. You look at him, a lump stuck in your throat. You cannot speak. You think if you do, you'll cry. If only this fool knew how you've been beating yourself up for the past three weeks. That you couldn't sleep properly, that you had no appetite, and that you even lost four kilograms. 

Jungkook keeps looking at you and comes over. He tries to understand what you are going to do now, whether to cry or scream.

"Tell me why you came, Jeon. I don't want to talk to you like we're old friends who haven't seen each other for a long time." - You say, overcoming the pain in your chest and the lump in your throat. Jungkook exhales in frustration. Your cold and harsh tone upsets him. 

"You know why I came here, baby." - He says quietly. Your heart is fluttering. You probably know, but you need to hear it. 

"Just tell me. Because maybe we don't think alike. I don't really know you." - You say colorlessly. Jungkook bites his lip nervously. You look at his lips for a split second, and you wish you could taste them. Jungkook is silent. The silence seems like an eternity to you, until Jungkook works his fucking magic.He can read your mind and do what you want?

You don't understand how it happened, or where your consciousness was a moment ago, because when Jungkook's lips are on yours, you still don't realize it. Or when he presses down harder on your jaw, and his cold fingers contrast against your skin. Or when his warm, soft lips kiss yours desperately. You finally realize what's happening.

It feels like when you see fireworks go off. This delight. It is the same. It tears your soul apart, makes your heart beat furiously in your chest, and thoughts simply cease to exist in your head. There is only Jungkook and his lips. You respond because you wanted to. You thirst for those lips, you need them.

Jungkook kisses you gently, lovingly. He dreamed of this. He wanted you to respond to this desired kiss so badly, and now your lips are moving to meet his. His insides are trembling. He deepens the kiss when you respond. His tongue slips into your mouth and catches your tongue. They connect and the kiss makes your head spin. 

You instantly feel aroused. You've missed Jungkook, and his passionate kiss, which was apologetic at first, has become demanding. You're in the middle of the street, and people might be looking at you. But you don't care, and neither does Jungkook. He could kiss you even when you're out of air.

But you need to breathe in. You try to pull away. You pull away for a second when Jungkook captures your lips again. He doesn't want to let you go. You take a step back, trying to get away, but Jungkook step forward, holding your face in his hands without even thinking about letting go. 

"Jungkook..." - You call out to him, almost against his lips. He has to let you go, because you can't kiss forever. Although if he wanted to, he would. He would kiss those lips in front of him for the rest of his life. Jungkook is moving away, but not that far. You can see every mole on his face in detail. His obsidian eyes, which seem to look into your very soul. 

"I can't live without you..." - He says, stroking your cheeks with his thumb. "I thought I should leave you alone so you wouldn't suffer anymore because of me. But I'm so fucking selfish..." - Jungkook says. Your breathing is getting faster. You stare at Jungkook in silence, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to escape at any second. "I don't know how to make you come back. You've been in my life for so long, I can't imagine it without you." 

"Jungkook..." - You say in a trembling voice. "I've been in your life for as long as you've been in mine. Do you think I can let you go that easily?" - You ask. Jungkook smiles sadly. "But..." - You start, but he interrupts you. 

"I knew you were going to say that. There's always a fucking 'but'." - He says in frustration. He doesn't let go of you, and you stand within touching distance of each other. 

"Yes, there is." - You clear your throat. "For us to be together, you need to stop being who you are." - Jungkook looks at you, studying your expression, and then lets go. He takes a step back. 

"And who I am Y/N? I'd like to hear who you think I am." - Jungkook says, dejectedly. 

"You are not the Jungkook I knew. You've become different, and I don't know who you are. Whether you're a heartless killer or just a hostage to the situation." - You said honestly. Jungkook smiled. But it was not a friendly smile. It was desperate, on the verge of hysteria. 

"I have changed. It's true. But I'm not as horrible as Doohoon made me out to be in your eyes. Yes, I may have done and am doing terrible things, but I have to do this. Because if I don't, it will be done to me, or worse, to those I love." - Jungkook explains to you. You think of the right words to say. While you are thinking, Jungkook speaks for you first. "But I know for sure that my feelings for you are the same as they were. They grew bigger every year until you made me fall in love with you. I do love you. And I will do everything to make you mine forever." - Your emotions are out of control after these words. Your eyes instantly fill with tears. He told you that he loves you. He loves you and you just can't wrap your head around it. He's been your best friend all your life, and you could never have imagined, when you secretly dreamed of him, that he would confess his love to you. 

"What?" - You ask in a trembling voice. Salty tears are quietly flowing down your cheeks, freezing on your face, but it doesn't matter. 

"I love you, my baby." - He says without thinking. He kisses you and tastes the saltiness of your tears. You pull away from each other, but you feel something unresolved pressing on your soul. 

"Jungkook, you don't have to be Namjoon's errand boy. You can leave because it's not your duty." - You say. Jungkook hugs you, and when he hears what you say, his grip loosens, but you're still in his arms. 

"You know why I work for Namjoon. Until all the money is returned, he won't let me go." - Jungkook explains. 

"It's now up to Doohoon to give the money back. He's in Korea." - You saying. It's that simple for you. The reason is that Namjoon wants Jungkook to be the one to pay off the debt, to keep him around as long as possible. Jungkook has no doubt that Namjoon will take care of Doohoon if he needs to. 

"Yes. So let him pay it back." - Jungkook says with a slight teasing edge to his voice. You look up at him, and look up at his beautiful face. He smiles out of one corner of his mouth. 

"Why are you like this? It's not funny, I'm telling you real things. If he's guilty, he should pay for his actions himself." - You say, offended. 

"He will never do that." - Jungkook replies. "If he had been my true friend from the beginning, I wouldn't have ended up next to Namjoon at all. Doohoon did everything he could to make me who I am. He wanted me to come down from the pedestal of my perfection and become the exact opposite. He did a great job. Now I'm not the perfect Jungkook I was in high school and university. I'm a gangster who makes his living in a dirty way." - He says this so calmly, as if it's all just something to be accepted and nothing to be done about. You don't like his tone. 

"Doohoon is a rare shit, everyone knows that. But if I ask him to do it, he'll do it. I'm sure if I ask him to pay back the debt, he will." - You say with hope in your voice. Jungkook laughs shamelessly at your position. You sound like a naive child. You raise your eyebrows, which makes Jungkook laugh even harder. 

"Are you sure you're talking about the same person we know?" - Jungkook asks through his laughter. 

"Yes." - You say irritated. Jungkook shakes his head and tries to calm down. 

"It's not going to happen. He will never payment his debt, that you and I can live happily together. That thing likes you, and I'm ready to grind him to a halt for it. Even it’s seems like he listen you, he wouldn't do it." - Jungkook said serious now. You tense your brows. You pull away from Jungkook and think you should leave. Your legs hurt and you want to sleep. You think about asking Jungkook to come over to your place. 

You suggest that you go on, and Jungkook agrees. You hold his hand, and he smokes an IQOS with the flavor of wild berries and menthol. Sometimes, when the wind blows in your direction, this combination of smells tickles your chemoreceptors. Although you don't like the smell of IQOS sticks. 

"Do you think I won't persuade him?" - You ask. Jungkook exhales the smoke. 

"No. And I would even ask you not to." - Jungkook says. He takes another drag, and you watch his lips cover the filter. 

"Why?" - You ask immediately. 

"Because fuck knows what's going on in his head." - Jungkook explains. You don't understand what he's talking about. 

"Okay. Let's pretend for a minute that he agrees..." - You suggest. Jungkook stops. You stop after him. 

"That's not going to happen. Why even pretend it?" - You hear the irritation in his voice. 

"You didn't listen to me. That's not what I wanted to ask." - You say, however the irritation in your voice is obvious. "If he agrees to pay back the debt. Namjoon will let you go?" - You ask. You see Jungkook tense up at your question. You don't like this. 

"He should..." - Jungkook says in a low voice. His answer sounded so unsure, like he didn't believe it himself. 

"He should?" - You ask. "So it's not a given that he's going to let you go." 

"He promised and he would, but I'm not sure it will be that easy." - Jungkook admits. 

"I can talk to him, however he wants you to..." - Jungkook interrupts you before you can finish your sentence. 

"No!" - Jungkook says sharply. "Don't even think about it. You can't see Namjoon under any circumstances. He's not someone you can just talk to." - He almost yelled at you. You were embarrassed. "You heard me Y/N. Don't even think you can go talk to him. You can't." - Jungkook took your hands, shaking them slightly. 

"Okay, I understand." - You say with bitterness in your voice.

You walk and reach your house. You tell Jungkook in which building you live, but by his expression you realize that he seems to know. You have a thousand and one thoughts in your head. Before you invite Jungkook, who clearly wants to come over, you want to complete the dialog you've been started. One thought triggers you and you want to know the answer to it. 

"Jungkook, the man who stole me...." - You start, but you stop talking because it's hard for you to remember that moment. 

"What about him?" - Jungkook asks you. Honest you want to know if Jungkook really threatened your kidnapper with a child. 

"I wanted to ask you... he told me that you threatened him with the child if he didn't give his capital to Namjoon.... Is it true? Just tell me, I'll know if you're lying!" - You said. Jungkook raised his eyebrows. 

"What kind of nonsense is that? We may be a mafia, but we have a code. We don't touch children, and I don't even threaten like that." - Jungkook replies. You don't quite believe his words. What decent bandits... And you don't like the word "we" either. Jungkook doesn't consider himself one of them. 

"And the women? Do you threatened them? Because you, for example, have been threatened more than once that they will hurt me." - You say. Jungkook froze, which he might tells you that they are not disgusted by blackmail, or even act it.

"It's an effective tool, especially on men who have feelings." - Jungkook says. You're starting to get angry. 

"So your fucking code forbids you to touch children, but you can use a woman or a parent as leverage to get what you want, right?" - You ask ironically. Jungkook doesn't answer right away. You watch for a minute as Jungkook removes the used stick from the IQOS and back it into the box with the others. 

"It happens." - Jungkook answers simply, and you are annoying. 

"So it happen? Then maybe you shouldn't tell me that you have some kind of prejudice. If you don't neglect women and the elderly, why wouldn’t you threaten a children’s?" - You shout. Jungkook sees that you're angry, and he's trying to calm you down. 

"Baby, I would never threaten a child in my life. I'm not that kind of bastard, no matter what I do. This bastard has really messed with your head. I didn't torture him for eight hours, and we wanted to collect the debt because he pawned his securities that he lost in Namjoon's casino. And we took the company because that stupid idiot was gambling 24/7. He owed so much money that taking his little company was his only way out of it." - Jungkook explained to you. You listened to him with an angry expression on your face. It sounded very believable. 

"You guys are so holy that you can't even be called the mafia. Maybe you should call yourselves the Saints Clan?" - You suggested sarcastically. Jungkook looked at you skeptically. 

"I'm telling you the truth. It's up to you to believe me or not." - Jungkook assured you. You were annoyed that Jungkook was so protective of the people who do not neglect blackmail. He uses "we" as if he considers himself a part of them and wants to show them good to you. But the mafia is the mafia. Bandits are bandits. They are not good. 

"Jungkook, if I convince Doohoon to pay off the debt. Will you quit your job at Namjoon's?" - You asked directly. Jungkook exhaled nervously. How can he explain to you that this won't happen? You don't know Dohun well and you don't know Namjoon at all. 

"It's much more complicated than you think and imagine, baby." - Jungkook says, and you're not at all satisfied with this answer. 

"It's simple. It really is. Your wish. His word. Just tell me, do you want to go and live like a normal person?" - You ask. 

"I want to... but..." - Jungkook mumbles, and you're shocked at how uncertain he sounds. 

"But what, Jungkook?" - You ask, almost softly. Jungkook stares at you. 

"I mean, it won't work like that. My desire is not enough...." - He answers. You look at him and your fears are realized. You've thought about it before, but what if Jungkook is so used to this life that he can't go back to normal anymore? Hearing his tone and answers, you see the confirmation of your thoughts. 

You look at Jungkook and can barely contain your irritation. The uncertainty with which he speaks confuses you, but at the same time makes you more suspicious.

"Not enough? Your desire is not enough? Are you serious?" - Your voice has become quieter, but every word cuts like a blade.

"Baby, I can't just walk away. You don't understand how it works..." - He replied, exhaling deeply as if it were obvious.

"You explain it to me, Jungkook. Explain it to me, because I really don't understand how you can hold on so tightly to a life that only destroys you. You like it?" - Your eyes were full of undisguised anger.

Jungkook was silent for a moment, looking at your face carefully, as if he was looking for an answer to his unspoken questions. His jaw tensed, and his fingers clenched the pack of sticks in his pocket so that you could hear the crunch of the packaging.

"I can't just go like you'd like me to. This isn't a movie, Y/N. There's no way out without consequences." - His voice was calm, but there was something in it that made you cringe.

"So you're going to keep doing this? You're going to risk your life, let them use you, live in fear and lies? Is that what you want?" - You took a step towards him, your hands trembling slightly.

"I don’t want this…" - He whispered, looking away. "…But I’m already in too deep. There’s too much at stake. If I leave, it won’t just affect me."

You took another step, now you were standing very close.

"You say it won’t just affect you… Jungkook, what about me? Did you think your actions would affect me right now?" - Your words sounded desperate, and he could feel it.

"I know that…" - He finally answered, looking straight into your eyes. "But I’ll try to keep you away. I'll make sure it doesn’t ruin your life." - You laughed softly, but there was no joy in your laughter.

"Keep me away? Are you serious, Jungkook? You're standing here in front of me, talking about all this, and then you say you're trying to keep me away? You already tried that, and it didn't work." - You said. He clenched his jaw and said nothing. "Jungkook..." - Your shoulders slumped, your voice softer. "I want you to snap out of it. If not for yourself, then at least for me..." - His eyes met yours again, and you saw in them something like a struggle-a struggle between desire and fear, hope and reality.

But he knew in advance that it would not be the way you want it to be, or the way he wants it to be. It will be the way Namjoon wants it to be. Jungkook can't leave the mafia, even though he had hope. Maybe in many years, when Namjoon decides that the debt is paid, but Jungkook knows how Namjoon feels about him. He's not going to let him go that easily. 

Jungkook touches your face with his hand. You feel the warmth of his hand and this gesture calms you down. You hope he will accept your proposal. 

"Baby... I've been in this for years and I'm telling you the truth, Namjoon is not going to let me go anytime soon. All I want is for you to be by my side. I don't want you to worry about what I do or who I am. With you, I am real and that's the main thing. I want to be with you because I love you, so I'm asking you to bear with me for a while until I have the opportunity to leave the clan." - Jungkook says it softly, but you can't believe it as you listen.

You can hear him asking you to risk your life between the lines, but you think otherwise. You prioritize peace and a good life over fear and tension. You don't want to worry every night when Jungkook doesn't come back or pick up the phone and think that something happened to him. Or be afraid to walk down the street because some man will want to take revenge on Jungkook for his "activities". This is not for you. You take a step back, moving away from Jungkook and shake your head. Tears well up in your eyes and you make the most difficult decision of your life. 

"No, Jungkook. It won't be like this. I can't wait. I think we should put an end to our relationship and friendship." - You said. 

Jungkook rubbed his hands together nervously, as if trying to find the right words. His voice was calm but hoarse, as if he was struggling inside.

"I can't go back to normal, Y/N, not yet, and you have to understand. Even if I really want to. This is more than just a decision. This is my life now. It's hard for me to say this, but I became who I am because of circumstances. And now I can only change the way I live, but not change myself."  - You listened attentively, not interrupting, even though every word he said was painful.

"Jungkook..." - You began, but he interrupted.

"Just accept me as I am. If you really love me, you can do this." - He said, pressing at you. Your heart was pounding at the words.

"I love you." - You said quietly. "But I can't live in this world, not even for you. I am not like you. I'm scared, and I don't want to get used to what seems normal to you." - His eyes dimmed, but he didn't look away.

"It's obvious now that we can't compromise. We're just too different, our ways are too different. It's not going to work, Jungkook, no matter how much we want it to." - You added, gathering all your resolve. 

You turned to leave without waiting for his answer. He didn't say anything, just stared after you, clenching his fists. 

Doohoon reads your text messages and locks his phone. He's annoyed that you keep pushing him away. He does everything to please you, but you don't even respond to simple things. You respond harshly and coldly. He's annoyed as hell, but he knows he has to be patient. If he perseveres, he will get what he wants in the end. And that something he wants is you. 

It's only been three weeks since the incident with your kidnapping, which Doohoon set up and pulled off so perfectly. He paid a lot of money to the man who agreed to kidnap you. He knows that Jungkook knows the truth about the kidnapping and has probably dealt with Inho (the man's name), but he doesn't care what happened next. The main thing is that it worked, and now you think Jungkook is a real monster. 

Doohoon drives up to the store where you work and notices a Gelentwagen parked not far away with Jungkook's license plate. Did this loser come to see you? He really have the courage to come to you and apologize? 

Doohoon parks his car next to Jungkook's G-Wagon and gets out. He enters the store and looks for you. He doesn't see you or Jungkook. He moves toward the cash register. Behind the counter is a young guy and an older man, who looks like a chief. Both men greet him. Doohoon smiles easily, although he doesn't feel like it. But these are your acquaintances and he has to look good in their eyes. Doohoon bows slightly and returns the greeting. 

"Good morning." - He says in a friendly tone. "I'm a friend of Y/N. I'm here to pick her up. Is she still at work?" - He asks to see if you were telling the truth. The young man behind the counter immediately answers. 

"Oh, she left about five minutes ago. With her boyfriend, I think..." - Doohoon raises his eyebrows. A boyfriend? You couldn't have forgiven him so quickly. "At least that's what he introduced himself as... I think his name was Jungkook." - The cashier says. Doohoon feels a fierce surge of anger in his middle. This bastard thinks he can take you away from him. But Doohoon has done a good job of making you see his bad side. How can you want to be with Jungkook but not him after all that? 

"Okay, thanks. Have a good day." - Doohoon says and leaves the store, not noticing the two men staring at him. 

Doohoon decides to walk to your home. He thinks that either Jungkook will walk with you at your home or you could go to a cafe near your house. He thought that you've walked and made tired, you don't want to go far.

Doohoon is walking the same road you did not long ago. He is walking fast so that if he has the opportunity he can catch up with you. 

He stops when he sees you and Jungkook. You're standing in the middle of the sidewalk kissing. Doohoon almost goes crazy. He's torn to the middle. How could you do this? He was trying so hard to open your eyes to Jungkook's true nature. Aren't your feelings for this asshole so strong that you don't even care that he's a fucking mafia that tortures people and blackmails them with little children? Are you completely stupid or what? 

Doohoon wants to get up to you, but he's in no hurry. He's at a safe distance and the flow of people disguises him well. He watches as you stop kissing, say something, and then keep walking. Doohoon follows. When you come to your house, he dares to get close to hear what you are saying. 

When Doohoon hears your conversation, he is happy, and he scolds himself for worrying about you for nothing. You are still as correct as ever. Even Jungkook's declaration of love didn't convince you to stay with him. And now, Doohoon has a good chance of making you his. 

Half an afternoon passes and Doohoon looks at his watch. It reads 2:30 pm. You had arranged to meet Suyong at about four o'clock to meet at the campus and you have to leave soon to go to the university. 

You still haven't responded to Doohoon's offer to give you a ride, but he doesn't need your approval. He's going to drive you. 

Doohoon parks the car in front of your driveway and dials your number. There is a long series of rings, and almost at the last one you pick up the phone. 

"Hello?" - You say dryly. 

"Hi, candy. Are you ready?" - Doohoon asks you affectionately. 

"Ready for what?" - You ask your question. He can hear how upset you are in your voice.

"We agreed that I would take you to the university." - Doohoon replies. 

"We didn't agree." - You say sharply, and Doohoon feels irritated. There's that tone again, and he's starting to get tired of it. But he restrains himself. "I'll go on my own, I'm not ready yet." 

"Candy, I'm already waiting for you at the door. Don't be so stubborn. I'll wait as long as you need, you don't have to go alone if I'm going to get the same way." - Doohoon says, keeping his tone soft. You don't say anything for a while, and then he hears you exhale into the phone. 

"Okay. I'll be down in 15 minutes." - You say and hang up before Doohoon can even make a sound. 

You leave the house exactly 15 minutes later, looking blacker than a storm cloud. Doohoon notices the black bags under your eyes. You are also dressed in all black. You get into the car and barely greet him. You drive in silence for a while. Doohoon can't wait to talk to you. 

"Candy, how are you? Did you get any sleep?" - He asks you.

"Yes. Everything is fine." - You say quietly and open your phone, showing him that you're not in the mood for a conversation. 

Doohoon looks at you, he needs to know what you feel about Jungkook right now. 

"How did your meeting with Jungkook go? Did you talk?" - Doohoon asks, looking at the road. Hearing Jungkook's name come out of his mouth, you instantly turn your head toward him. Doohoon continues to stare at the road and doesn't look at you. 

"How...?" - You're about to ask if he was following again, but Doohoon interrupts. 

"I wasn't following you. I texted you that I was coming to get you. You'd have to be a fool not to recognize Jungkook's car and license plate." - Doohoon replies, stopping at a traffic light. When he stops, he looks at you and smiles. You look down at Doohoon. 

"I wrote you not to come. Why do you do whatever you want?" - You ask, irritated. Doohoon smiles even wider. 

"I wanted to give you a ride because you work so hard at night. You should just accept my help, you wouldn't have to work at all." - Doohoon says. How you so tired of everyone around you wanting to help you, to take care of you. It makes you sick to your stomach. 

"Listen, Doohoon. I don't need your help or your care. I don't want to communicate with you, I've told you that a thousand times." - You're raising your voice. You're so fucking stressed out all the time. 

"Really? Than who do you want to communicate with? Whose care do you want? Jungkook’s?" - Doohoon asks sarcastically. You choke on his words.

"I don't need any of you. You are dividing me like I am a deer carcass. I want you both out of my life." - You say angrily. You sit up straight and cross your arms. Your breathing is fast and ragged. Doohoon forces you to move. 

"I thought you'd fall for his words and his declaration of love. But, candy, you told him all right. You're two so different." - Doohoon says, and you look at him in horror. 

"You were listening to our conversation?" - You ask and your voice breaks. 

"I had to make sure he wouldn't hurt you...." - Doohoon replies. 

"You're really crazy? Why would he hurt me?" - You yell. 

"He's a gangster..." - Doohoon says. You think you is going to explode with anger. 

"It doesn't matter who he is. He loves me, he won't ever hurt me." - You say it like you're spraying poison. 

"Candy, he's the reason you were kidnapped. Don't you realize that his feelings are only harmful to you?" - Doohoon tries to tell you. 

"Shut your mouth!" - You shout. "I don't need your advice. I don't need you either. Get off me. Let me off now." - You grab the doorknob to open the door, but unfortunately, Doohoon has locked it. 

"Calm down Y/N. Okay, I'm not going to say anything else to you. Just calm down." - Doohoon puts his hand on your hip to make you pay attention to him, turning away from the door. You immediately knock his hand away. 

"Don't touch me!" - You scream. Doohoon's nerves are fraying. He parks not far from the sidewalk and approaches you. Your eyes look up at him in fright. 

"Y/N, listen to me carefully. I have tolerated your harsh words, your stubbornness, because I respect you and care about you. But if you think that you can talk to me as if I were some random stranger, then you are very much mistaken. I will not allow you to speak to me in that tone." - His voice is sharp, but he tries to remain calm

"What are you going to do, Doohoon? Are you going to follow me again, eavesdrop or spy on me? Do you think I owe you anything? You just want to control me!" - You say with a challenge. 

"Control? No, candy, I just want to protect you. But if you don't stop treating me like I'm the enemy, I might change my approach. You know I can be kind, but I can also be tough. Is that what you want?" - Doohoon ask you. His smile is dry, but his eyes are sharp. 

"What are you going to do, Doohoon? Are you going to threaten me? Fine, go ahead, show your real face!" - You say sarcastically. Doohoon leans closer, his voice low and cold. You're disgusted by his closeness, even though he smells nice. 

"Careful, Y/N. You won't like my 'real face'. I've always been good to you, even when you didn't deserve it. But if you keep provoking me, I might show you what it looks like when I lose my patience." - He returns to his seat behind the wheel, takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "But I don't want that. I want you to understand that I am not your enemy. I just want you to make the right choice. Think about your behavior, think about who really cares about you. And decide who is more important to you." - He unlocks the door. "And now you can go. But remember what I said. You have time to think about it." 

You're angry and a little confused, but you still have your pride. You open the door and say on the way out. 

"Don't think you can tell me what to do. Go to hell. I never want to see you again." - You get out of the car, slamming the door loudly, but deep inside you feel disturbed by his words and behavior. 

Doohoon starts the car and nervously grips the steering wheel. Your stubbornness is really getting to him. 

"Let's see how long you can stay stubborn, candy." - He mutters under his breath. Why don't you want to be his voluntarily? He's trying so hard for you. Doohoon is going crazy. He doesn't want to take any drastic measures yet, but if you keep acting like this, he'll be forced to. Because you'll be his anyway. 

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[buckgasms]

I am sooooo obsessed with Daddy Bucky!!! 🤤🥰 I’ve had this particular idea that I need your thoughts on… how do you think he handles punishment with his princess? Especially when she’s been quite bratty that day or is bothering him while he’s trying to work

What about teasing him while on a work call?? 👀

Hi lovely nonnie!! Omg yes me toooo ❤️

So I have many many thots on this, so please buckle in because I just could not stop writing this 🥲😘 hope you like it gorgeous xxx

This is straight up filth so drink water and read on...

So for minor offences, daddy would take away toys, ban certain TV shows or a couple of spanks whilst you were clothed so they didn't hurt as much.

But you wanna know what he'd do if his princess is bratty, and that he takes very very seriously because his princess is supposed to be a good girl.

I think that if princess is being bratty it's because she wants attention, probably a specific kind of attention y'know? And if princess had asked for what she wanted, she would have got it, so you're gonna have to work for it now. And if you had called daddy with the intention of teasing him, then oh boy.

The first thing to do is stand in the corner, hands on your head and panties around your ankles. There would be a comment about how wet and sticky your underwear is, what a dirty girl you were, before being left there to think about your behaviour.

Being a secret exhibitionist this actually only serves to make you even more of a mess, but god forbid you complain or make a fuss.

I feel like if you did make a fuss or try and beg your way out of it, he would put a pretty gag in your mouth, saying "you had your chance to talk babygirl." He'll leave you for a good while, making sure your arms are burning and arousal running down your legs.

"Come here" you hear him say and you walk over, slightly wobbly and teary. You know it's not the end, but part of you really hopes it is.

You are guided to stand between his thighs and he doesn't say a word as he rubs his hand through the wetness, tutting as you gasp at his rough hands making a mess of you. He pulls off your clothes until you are naked in front of him, breathing heavy behind your gag.

He finally looks at you and pats his thigh. You whimper a little before climbing over his lap, shivering a little in anticipation. He smoothes his hands over your ass and thighs as he speaks to you.

"I don't know why you do this baby. I give you everything you want, yet you chose to be a silly little slut. You want your slutty little holes filled up? You want to be my little cumdump princess?" Your moan is muffled but he gets the desperation in your tone.

He lands a swat on your ass that makes you jump. "Well ok then babygirl, I'm gonna use your little holes and fill you up, but I'm not gonna treat you like a princess, I'm gonna treat you like the little fuckdoll you are..."

Your whining is cut off by his spanking. It's hard, it stings, it feels like it goes in forever. It also makes you incredibly wet, and he uses a free hand to tease you, unsatisfying touches to your pussy, making you tense before another spank.

Before long your ass is glowing, your face stained with tears and his jeans are soaked with your arousal. "Daddddyyy" you wail from behind your gag and he does eventually halt, rubbing a soothing hand over you.

"Ohh you feeling sorry now hmm?" He mocks and drags you until you are straddling him and he grips your wet cheeks in his hand, chuckling darkly as you grind down on him a little. "Maybe not feeling so sorry huh?" You cry out, and grab at him, desperately trying to show your regret. Surely he knows you well enough by now? You can be as sorry as anything but you're still gonna be horny for him.

He's gonna keep the theme of humiliation at the forefront of the rest of the evening. He'll fold you over and pile drive into you, making you watch your greedy cunt swallow his cock over and over. He'd find a way to make you squirt on yourself too, because he's nasty like that. He'll play with your ass too, spitting on it, mocking how well your tight hole opens up for him, what a perfect cocksleeve you make. When you tell him it stings he hushes you before switching back to your pussy, making your stomach bulge. You know better than to look away, but if you do, swift slaps cover your thighs until your eyes are locked back on his face or cock.

He'd be using that mouth as well, especially if he thought you were enjoying yourself too much. Plenty of choking, holding your nose shut, burying your face in his bulge. He wants to make a mess of you, so you better believe he's coming over your beautiful face.

"God baby, so fucking perfect ain't ya? Even when you act so naughty, you're still gonna be my perfect girl hmm?" He strokes your face, dipping a thumb into your mouth to give you a taste. You can only manage a hum of agreement, but he knows getting you to speak now would be an impossible feat.

Your eyes are glistening and fuzzy. Arms and legs have fallen open to him, letting him do as he pleases to make you feel every bit the naughty thing you are. You are slightly aware of soreness, here and there, but his touch is now so gentle and soothing that you don't worry about anything at all.

"On your knees baby" he mumbles in your ear and you scramble on unstable limbs to plant yourself back between his thighs, head resting on his knee as he fixes his gaze to you.

"Have you learnt your lesson now Princess?" He strokes a gentle hand through your sweaty hair, making your eyes flutter. He can see the cogs turning in your head as you try and remember what got you to this position in the first place. Your eyes widen, then fill with tears, hands grabbing at his chest.

"Yes daddy, promise, promise I'll be a good girl." You nuzzle his thigh and stroke his hair dusted stomach. He chuckles, pulling you up to sit on his lap, pressing kisses to your cheeks. Your hands grab his face and he kisses your palms, before letting you plant soft kisses over his face.

"Baby, do you know what you're sorry for?" He asks, a full laugh slipping past his lips as you giggle, running your fingers over his lips and beard. "Mmm not really sure daddy, but I don't think I'll ever do it again..." That makes you giggle even more as he growls and nips at your neck and chest.

You sit quietly for a moment, stroking his face as he brushes your hair squeezes your thighs. You seem to be a little fuzzy still, but happy and satisfied. "You did so well sweetie pie, I love you so much princess..." He mutters in your ear and you giggle and hide in his neck.

He lifts you up and carries you away into the bathroom for a thorough wash and recovery, surrounded by Daddy and bubbles. As you cling to him you whisper back, "Love you too Daddy"

[daenysx]

Hi friend ! 😘 I love your works so much and if you have requests open I have an idea:

Fem reader is out doing errands or something and some stranger is really creepy towards her and she is very scared and when she gets home tells aemond and he makes her feel safe and secure and lots of fluff and reassurance and soft aemond

If it’s triggering or you’re not into I totally understand- I just love the way you write and portray characters 🥰 Much love to you always ! Looking forward to your new works 😍

thank you for your sweet words and this request, i hope you like this!! i tried to write the fluffy part as the main plot because i'm in love with soft!aemond.

this is probably the fluffiest fluff i've ever written. <3 please read the request first, it can include triggering content.

requests are open!!

my masterlist

the one you call

modern!aemond is there for you when you feel uncomfortable because of a stranger.

you feel your hands shaking with anger and discomfort as you walk through the door to the apartment you shared with your boyfriend, aemond targaryen. maybe it would be better to call him and ask him to pick you up, but you cannot bring yourself to care right now.

you have always been the kind of person who takes care of herself. calling or asking for help are never your first options, it's who you are. sometimes you get angry at yourself for being so stubborn though, just like today.

you will not cry. you don't want to cry.

you unlock the door with your key, only to find aemond sleeping on the couch. he doesn't wake up to the sound of opening door and the moment you see him sleeping, you decide to not wake him up. your boyfriend needs to rest after a busy day at his family's company.

you silently change your clothes, wash your face with cold water, and prepare yourself a cup of coffee. you try to calm down when you do these most natural things but still the feeling of discomfort is there.

you take your cup and sit next to the couch your boyfriend's sleeping. he has to be tired if he still doesn't wake up. you watch his face like you don't have the image of him memorized in your mind.

his hair falls to the pillow like a platinum blonde perfection. his eyepatch is thrown away, his breathing is steady. he softly mumbles a few unconcious words, his lips look kissable and exquisite as he whispers to his dreams.

you drink your coffee slowly, try to relax and be calm. it's okay now. nothing can hurt you when aemond is with you. besides the confidence of being able to take care of yourself, having your strong man with you feels more secure and safe, always.

he slowly blinks and the first thing he sees is you. the image of you sitting there, wearing one of his shirts and drinking coffee from his favorite cup makes him smile.

you smile too, when you see him awake. it feels like a broken smile though, not like your usual ones which makes the room shiny in his eye. sleep leaves him as he sits on the couch and opens his arms for you.

"why didn't you wake me up, pretty girl?"

you settle in his arms comfortably, searching peace in his hold. you bury your nose to his neck to find the smell of his hair which always make you aware of his presence.

"you needed to rest, love."

he smiles and leans into your face. he gives you messy kisses filled with love and adoration. being in his arms feels safe like the world out there cannot touch you when he is here. you wish you can feel the same things when you are alone.

he feels your hands on his neck shaking and your breath becomes unsteady.

"what is it, baby? why are you sad?"

your tears fall and you can't help it. keeping them from falling has hurt you and you can't resist when you are in his arms.

"it-it's not a big deal but- a man-"

aemond loosens his hold and his hands cup your cheeks.

"shh, don't panic baby. we have time okay? take a moment and tell me afterwards, come on."

this is the last step for your tears. you wrap your arms around his neck and let them fall. he holds you like a baby, his fingers are on your hair. this is a safe space for you. you can cry, you can smile, anything you'd want and he would accept it.

he would give you anything you want.

it takes a few minutes for you to talk again. you look at his eyes, they are covered in worry and adoration.

"there was a guy in the street and i was just walking and i don't even know what happened, you know? he was weird and it made me nervous."

it's hard to tell how he feels.

"nothing happened but i hate when people like him just coming closer and saying shitty things just because they think it's somehow their right, it's-it's so-"

he understands what you mean and for a second he cannot stop himself from being angry. he is angry at the guy, he could punch him without taking a breath for feeling a girl -his girl- like this.

he is angry that he wasn't there to comfort you, to let you think you should take care of everything by yourself. he should make you know that no matter what happens, no matter who is hurting you, he will be there for you. he will always make you feel safe just like you make him feel that way.

he knows that you know he understands you, that you will not continue talking about the guy.

"you know i love you, right? i love you too goddamn much, i should try and think the right words to express it. you are perfect and no one can do that to you. no one can do that to anyone."

you listen to him, your perfect man. his eye focuses on your expressions as he speaks, determined to make you believe how much you are loved by him.

"i know you can take care of everything. you are my strong girl, of course you can do anything but when you feel like you can't do it anymore, i'd like to be the one you call. you know that, right? my sweet girl."

you nod, leaning into him and kissing his cheek. it will take time for you to stop feeling the discomfort but still you feel much better now that he knows. he knows and he understands, he will be here.

"now, i want coffee and i think you'd like a second cup. choose one of that sitcoms you love and wait for me under the blanket. please, sweetheart."

you smile, handing him your empty cup. he goes to the kitchen, you go under the blanket. you wait for him eagerly for minutes.

he joins you and holds you closer when you smile at the show. he kisses your hair, lets you play with his rings, and hands you your coffee cup whenever you want.

you spend the entire evening wrapped around him until you fall asleep, your face buried to his neck. it feels safe, secure, and lovely.

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

How You Met THE SPARROW ACADEMY:

PAIRINGS: Sparrow Academy x Genderless!Descriptionless!Reader

FOLLOW UP TO: How You Met - The Umbrella Academy

A.N: we need more sparrow content ASAP. I fell quick and I fell hard

WARNINGS: Quick and minor mention of a bus crash (under Marcus tab), varying degrees of content for each character, me borrowing a villain from the comics I don't know shit about other than what i read off of TUA Fandom Wiki, and me still getting the hang of this format and writing and just having fun and being silly with it more than taking it seriously

LINKS: main masterlist || sparrow masterlist

MARCUS HARGREEVES:

Ahh Marcus 😍

He's really just so... 🤩😍🤪🥰😚☺️😅😘☺️🤩

Yeah

Oh my gosh seriously, theres a reason he's number one and it's because he's the biggest dork

You knew a thing or two about putting up about three different kinds of walls until you could hardly recognize yourself, what with you basically being the Lila of the Sparrows

It's complicated how you met but also, not in the slightest

True, there was only one Handler and the only kid she ever "had" was Lila

But she wasn't your mother, she was your boss

One that you only ever met once or twice, but you can hardly remember it, it was so long ago

You were recruited by her, however, at a unusually young age annnndd long story short, you quit

Working for an organization out of time sounded cool, and was. For about 2 (non)minutes

Then it just got depressing and way WAY confusing and downright dangerous

It took so many (non)years to plan an escape and then another two or so to actually put it into action and escape

Nothing unusual, you were constantly jumping from year to year, place to place, never staying one place too long. (Kinda like couch surfing! Time surfing if you want to put it that way)

It went off without hitch, your little plan, and had been going fairly smooth for what you perceived as about four or five years

Then said "pitstop" in good ol' 2009

That's when your path collided with the Sparrows

And when it did, you crashed

No literally, there's a literal crash involved

It was definitely something that happened by total chance

And yeah, you could argue that's how most things are, but, hopefully you get what I mean

Like, it's crazy how you just happened to forget something when you left for your walk for work and decided you had time to go around the corner and get it. Crazy that you had just enough time to catch the next bus

And that next bus just so happened to be the one that got caught in the crossfires of a Sparrow vs Villain of The Week fight

Thankfully nobody was seriously hurt, but there were a great number of close calls

You being one of them

And you had Sloane Hargreeves to thank

In a spur of the moment as you were fleeing the bus with the rest of the crowd, she pulled you lot from across the street and out of harms way

When the fight had died out, the weirdo supervillain calling himself the Murder Magician was taken away (his sidekick, the assistant as well) And the Sparrows were swarmed with press and thankful citizens

You think, because of this, it'd be virtually impossible to get any face time with the famed sparrows, right?

Wrong

Again, it's crazy how you just so happened to be trying to make a beeline out of there (what? being on the run meant blending in, and you couldn't very well do that from here) when you ran into a very handsome wall

"Oh! My apologies, I didn't see you there"

Okay, so. Not a wall. Just a very tall, very handsome, and very very famous man you knew more about than you probably should thanks to your old job maintaining timeliness and such

You insisted you had to go, but wouldn't you know it, your little streak of luck wasn't over yet

That murder magician guy? Did I mention? He had a little something called a murderbot

Kind of makes sense now, I guess. Usually, supervillains aren't as cool with being caught unless they have another trick up their sleeve

So, kinda awkward, but

the thing kinda took ya hostage along with some other unlucky few in the crowd thanks to advantage it got witht he element of surprise and all

Marcus and the sparrows handled it fairly quickly but it was still upsetting!

Experiencing a bus crash, a murder magician, his murderbot and then two rescues all in one morning can take a lot out of you!

Marcus, having already ran into you and then letting you get kidnapped right in front of him immediately after, he felt kinda responsible for you. call him old fashioned (lol)

He asked multiple times if you were okay

He did not want to leave your side until he knew you were okay

He'd invite you back to the academy where Grace could check you over for potential injuries (concussion, internal bleeding, etc) and he could be certain you'd be getting good medical care

(even though EMTs are right the f there lmao)

He may be a dork but he's also a spoiled rich kid like his siblings lskd8v8

You, all the meanwhile, having a whole different timeline's worth of knowledge on him and his siblings thanks to your time at the commission (this excludes the kugelblitz since that was technically not supposed to happen... I think) felt like you were treading dangerous waters interacting with someone so famous in history

I kinda lost where this was going lol but I do know that after all that, it was a bit harder to say no to Marcus and the little soft side he started to show when he was getting worried

Cause you were definitely started to get a little dizzy and you definitely hit your head at some point in all that chaos

And a very handsome, very famous, very dorky, and very kind man was now very worried about you

Okay, so maybe you could be a little bit late to work

SPARROW!BEN HARGREEVES:

I finally understand the term poor little meow meow

He is a wet cat

Angry and petty and snippy

And inexplicably ruthless

You two would probably meet somewhere totally unexpected

Hold on let me think of it real quick

I guess I could see you working their PR or something, if that was even a thing for them (you being newer, and ofc around their age)

Idk I feel like, with Sparrow Ben, and how much of a little shit (affectionate) he is, I think it would be kinda hilarious and yet totally on brand for him to have a connection (good or bad) with someone who got paid to tell him what to do - ie, he thinks he doesn't need it and that it's the others that need to behave and rebrand themselves when he's like, right there

His promo poster was literally the Had To Do It To Em pose, you know I'm right about this

Not exactly the kind of image that's super great for, you know, a superhero

So yeah, he would have to listen, but he'd give a stink

And even a bigger one when you threw it right back

I'd think you'd have to have that kind of skill, at least to some degree, after working in such a field

Or maybe I'm just talking out of my ass

The point is, y'all would likely be bitter, but like, the kind that got comfortable after a while?? If that makes sense??

Either way, he's such a little shit and i just don't see an instance where you meet and it's perfect sunshine and rainbows right off the bat pfft

FEI HARGREEVES:

BIRD SANCTUARY!! BIRD SANCTUARY!! BIRD SANCTUARY!!

YOU WORK IN A BIRD SANCTUARY

You two are a match made in the cosmos and its sickening 🥰

Fei, like her aforementioned brothers, takes herself and the job pretty seriously

So it can be a bit rare for someone to see her in her true element

Or at least--

People who really know her

Her family

So, when a total stranger just comes along and just,,

✨️✨️✨️

Its really special

And what better than bonding over birds, and nerding out over birds?!

I feel like she wouldn't exactly shy away from whatever she may be feeling

But I also think she'd try to underplay it

Ya know, keep it cool and not make a huge deal

You know, it wasnt a huge deal that one day, on her day off, she decides to visit a reveried bird sanctuary just outside of town

And that, upon that visit, she happened to stumble upon you, unable to stop yourself from spewing bird facts and hey? Did this random visitor know about the loyalty of crows and all the limitless examples of humans befriending crows??

Well they did now

Oh no did she love your corny enthusiasm over birds - crows especially!!

She just couldn't help herself when she first overheard you and wanted a better view

Sure she spent her time communing with the birds around her, but a select few of crows--her crows--adopted a sudden interest in you and your info-dumping to unwilling visitors, flocking to you wherever you went

It wasn't unusual for birds to bond with caretakers but you didn't recognize these crows that now seemed to follow you everywhere, always keeping a polite distance and paying careful attention to anything you had to say

Soon enough, you were fully conversing with these crows, making sure they were comfortable wherever they might have come from

That pretty much sealed the deal for her

From then on, she knew she had to make herself known to you; introduce herself, commend your respect for her birds (and the others in the sanctuary)

Yall hit it off immediately, no surprise ajdkps

Oh she's also so fucking smooth adjsjs

Idk, shes just kinda sweeps you off your feet when she finally introduces herself to you, commending you for your respect to your birds (totally teasing you for how you, by extension and strictly technical terms, treated her through her birds) and is such a coy little fker who loves seeing you get all flustered

My god though, shes also so fucking soft and sweet and loyal when you earn her trust

Either friend or partner, she'll come across something she'll think you'll like and give it to you next time she sees you (ohh idk, like a crow)

Shes so fucking loyal and just so heart melting while also being the coolest, smallest fker ever and AHHH

I just love her

ALPHONSO HARGREEVES:

Jskapsoyc

He's so boyfriend shaped

I love him, I need to know more about him, and I'd love to say how you guys met was some miraculous coincidence that makes perfect sense like Fei, but honestly he just really strikes me as someone you just Bump Into, ya know?

He's a guy, and he's just around

Maybe you met in a convenience store

That feels like something that would happen (or maybe I'm just still thinking of his fight scene with Diego)

Oo! Honestly, some place like a bowling alley or arcade

He, like Marcus, is such a dork

But he holds himself as like, a, Cool Dork, ya know?

And it's not as hidden

It's not hidden at all, he's such a snarky pizza-eating, soda-chugging, quick-as-a-whip dork

He feels comfortable in public, for not all the right reasons

And he's easy to run into

He gets a lot of mistreatment by Sparrow fans, but his attitude is much like his power

Arguably, it's because of his powers

He's rubber, they're glue; what bounces off of him sticks to you

ie, he's so good at letting a bad attitude bounce off of him and stick to his attackers

And yeah, sometimes his walls are down and stuff gets to him when he isn't prepared, but overall he is sadly (and infuriatingly) used to it

He's not always the favorite among fans, is what I'm trying to get at

>:( fucking stupid if you ask me

But!!

Woah woah woah. Hold on...

Back up

Apparently he's... your favorite?

Lol okay, yeah, sure, you're totally not trying to be nice, he thinks (note the sarcasm)

Like I said, he's used to feeling the occasional tap on his shoulder -- like now, where he stands in line for some good ol' mediocre bowling alley hotdogs -- cause someone recognized him

He was, arguably, one of the more recognizable sparrows after all, behind Christopher obviously, so

Here we go, he thinks, turning around, hands lazing in his pockets and quite possibly the least enthusiastic look any living thing could conjure on his face

And just like anyone else, you stood waiting as he turned to face you, smiling in a way that was all too obvious you were trying to hide your excitement

"Hey," he nods

"Sorry," you laughed, but not in the usual way. More like an awkward chuckle that sounded nervous. That wasn't too unusual, either

"Sorry," you said again, burying your hand back inside your pocket like the other. "you probably get this all the time, pretty much everywhere"

He shrugged it off, not appearing too bothered by it

"No problem," he said, glancing back ahead to check the line. It still was pretty long; some issue with the deep fryer holding up the line, by the looks of it. He had time. He looked back at you, waiting indifferently for whatever to come. "What's up?"

Judging by the looks of it, you had already started backtracking the moment you got his attention. You were second guessing getting his attention. Cause figures

"Just a big fan," your hands were still in your pockets, fiddling and moving around visibly through the thin cotton, maroon zip-up sweatshirt

You had shrugged, and thats when he noticed your zip up was familiar; it was a piece of sparrow merch

An older one, judging by how worn it looked

The little sparrow insignia higher up on the left breast of the jacket was still there, but it was significantly faded, and the matching white rope laces dangling from the hood were fraying at the ends

He nods again, leaving the future of the conversation up to you

Wildly inconvenient for you, you thought, considering you hadn't exactly thought this far ahead. At least, if you had, you immediately forgot.

You said the first thing that came to mind, cause of course you did

"I loved the Sparrow comics when I was younger,"

Okay, yeah, you definitely regretted this. This was mortifying. Plain and simple.

Sadly, however, Alphonso saw this in your face and misconstrued the reasons for regret

He thought you were regretting talking to him when really you were just getting in your own head

You quickly assure him though, that, actually, he's your favorite and you think he's super cool and you've actually been a fan of his since yall were kids

He takes the information like any other fan interaction,

That is until it really clicks for him you're being totally serious and your enthusiasm is genuine and he kinda :o

Then he's such a suave little shit I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Goes straight to his head, God bless <3

SLOANE HARGREEVES:

Love of my life, bane of my existence 🥰

She's perfect and such an inconvenience to me personally

I love her entirely <3

She's the sweetest of the sweet and sunshine in every sense of the word

Huh? Oh right!

How you met... *ahem* ☺️

Oh no biggie, she just uhh, saved your life is all

Okay okay, maybe not your literal life but she did save your morning shake which saved your morning which saved your ass from your boss

She was a blushing mess despite the grace of her powers and agility -- but it technically had been her fault

Sloane had been in such a rush, she unintentionally collided with you on one of the busier streets downtown

Totally cliche and a meet-cute right out of the movies

I honestly don't think I have much else to say about that, it was pretty straight forward and sweet (like her)

Admittedly you had been rattling around her head for a few days afterwards cause hey 👀👀👀 she can appreciate what's in front of her - and yet, she was kicking herself for not doing something about it

She held a lot of responsibility as a sparrow and part of her was afraid, not so much upholding the sparrow image, but disappointing her siblings

Sloane dreams of a having a life of her own, unsanctioned by her father and/or her brothers and sisters. She's been planning ahead for her inevitable exit, why had she chickened out with you??

Almost two weeks had passed since she ran into you and thirteen days since she talked herself into giving up on anything happening.

She had scolded herself, really, how foolish it was of her to think she could have something sweet and endearing with a very cute person like you

Sloane is a romantic in every sense, and this had merely been proof. How naive

And...

How naive of her to think she saw you standing out like a sore thumb in one of the sparrow crowds stationed outside for one of their outings

She had to do a double take when you gave her a shy wave, and she definitely had to make sure she wasn't making a fool of herself as she made her way over

You had sent her a grateful nod when she covertly steered you two out of the reach of cheering fans crowding around you trying to get to her and her siblings

Sloane may or may not have failed in her attemps to tamper down the corny smile that came with your being here

You looked almost, shy

"I thought you seemed familiar," you smiled, looking up over her shoulder at one of the many huge banners plastered on the academy. She followed your gaze over her shoulder and then quickly averted her gaze, not overly eager to see the sight

Were her cheeks always this sore?

JAYME HARGREEVES:

She was forged by the gays, for the gays

I love that trope where the sunny sunshine one is the grumpy grumps favorite

I feel like that could easily apply to her

But I also feel like it wouldn't be like that immediately, if at all

Not even soon

It would be a long process to get her there cause she's a sparrow after all, and being a sparrow means you come with an ego and stubbornness so strong it might as well be its own superpower

When she met you, she was irrationally and entirely furious

A big part of it was you kept cropping up everywhere

You delivered a pizza to her and Alphonso once upon a time and ever since, by total coincidence, you kept reappearing

She didn't believe it was accidental ofc

She thought you were some stalker

Meanwhile you were just as confused

It wasn't exactly love at first sight for you, either

Jayme was brash and short tempered, but when she was around you -- bumped into you on the street, out for a run in the park, whatever -- she was just plain cruel

And the thing is, she didn't know why

All you had done was the deliver the pizza, made light conversation with Alphonso and wished them both a good day before leaving

The fucking nerve of you

She's just crushing hard, actually

Nah, you're just annoying to her, that's totally it

She totally didn't think you were infuriatingly attractive, fun to be around or anything. And the display of dry humor she witnessed when you were chatting with her brother totally didn't anger her in a way she couldn't understand because she wasn't used to cute people saying stuff that she almost laughed at

But she didn't laugh. So there

She won, you lost

And you didn't even know it.

You simply thanked Alphonso for the early arrival tip, nodded a goodbye to both of them and then left

Just like that. No fan freak outs despite you knowing who they were, no autographs. Just a "thanks for saving the day" and a "let it cool for a few minutes, the pizza oven can get pretty hot and it was a short drive here"

That's it.

But that's just the thing.

That was never it.

There was always more, and Jayme wasn't buying it.

You were too calm, like you had been planning that meeting for ages

Maybe you were, even if that didn't make a damn lick of sense

Alphonso calls her out on her shit and he's the only one she really listens to even though she's not happy about it

On some level she knows she's being an asshole but it's kinda hard for her to help

Oh, real quick, by the way

If you're in the community and that's the context between you two for this preference, I don't mean to say she's acting like this cause of internalized homophobia or anything, she's just kind of an asshole skskxhcppff

This girl knows she's gay

Like Ben, she's more like a cat than a dog

She's cute, but she bites, and she's quick and really, she's just a total dick

It's also just kind of a Hargreeves thing, too to be fair

But, like cats, it's kind of, weirdly, part of their charm

She does make an effort though, after her talk with Alphonso, to be less... dickish

It works

Kind of

After a few practice runs

And lots of pizza orders later

But eventually, she's working her way up to answering the door and getting the pizzas from you with one goal in mind

Not making you storm away in rage

I mean, sure, part of the reason she gets so mad is cause you can actually keep up with her

It's never been this hard for her to get the last word in cause you actually can keep up with her and whatever she dishes out to you, you dish right back

In a way, she's kinda met her match

And that made things worse

But. You were still human and she was the one who was a literal super whose specialty was finding someone's weakness

(Actually Jayme sometimes worries she does that somehow without actually using her powers, so that was a big part of her wanting to be better ☹️)

And she's making mild progress!

It isn't until she's dialing the pizza place and working through her nerves as she does so that she realizes why she's so nervous

And then she throws the phone on the couch in embarrassment cause ew feelings

But one thing keepa her from giving up completely:

For whatever reason, you keep coming back

[zepskies]

Hi Zep! I'm back for more random fanfic & writing questions! First, do you prefer writing canon type stories or AU's? Or do you let the idea influence which category it falls under more? Second, do you only write fanfic or do you do your own personal writing too? I fully believe you could (and should) write a novel someday if you desired! You're so talented and I'd love to see what you could come up with. Lastly because I want to, FMK for Dean, Beau and Ben? 👀 Hope you're having a good weekend!

Hello, my friend! (Can I call you Michelle? I see that in your bio. 💜) I'm having a great weekend, thank you! I hope you are as well.

Oooh, these are great questions!!

Canon vs. AU Stories

So when it comes to fanfic, I have more experience with canon stories, but I enjoy reading and writing both canon and AU depending on the premise. For example, reading a firefighter!Dean story (and my love of Chicago Fire and other procedurals) led me to write Smoke Eater, my first full SPN AU story.

Writing an AU is more challenging in my opinion, because you're doing more extensive worldbuilding and character building than stories in a canon storyverse. Smoke Eater was much more challenging for me to write than Never Say Goodbye, for example, which is a soulmate AU within the canon SPN world.

A Book Maybe?

Second, do you only write fanfic or do you do your own personal writing too? I fully believe you could (and should) write a novel someday if you desired! You're so talented and I'd love to see what you could come up with.

Aw thank you very much, love!! I so appreciate you for saying that. 🥰🥰

Yes, I've actually been working on a novel for the past couple of years. I've taken a break from it since I've been writing so much fanfic lmao. But it's actually a a fantasy/romance. (Think Bridgerton and Howl's Moving Castle meets GoT, with less violence, lots of drama, and a bit more magic lol.) I had a major breakthrough in my draft and outline a few weeks ago, so my goal is to finish it this year! 💕💕

FMK With Dean, Beau, and Ben

Oh shiiiiit. Girl, you tryna kill me??? 😭😭😭

Okay. Because I could never "Kill" any of these men, I'll sub that for "Kiss."

First, I'm gonna have to fuck Ben. Because...yeah. 🥵

(And sorry but aside from BMD-verse Ben, I think I'd tear my hair out with this guy as my partner, if he didn't break my back first. 🤣)

Next, I think I have to...and shit this is hard, but I'm gonna have to kiss Beau.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love this cowboy sheriff with all my heart and soul, and he would undoubtedly treat me right (once we got him into therapy for some of his trauma).

But...

Dean has held my heart the longest out of these three. He's flawed and has trauma beyond belief, but I'd love to give him the loving, comforting, supportive relationship he always deserved on the show. (And then fix that fucked up ending for sure.)

And for that reason, I'd have to marry Dean.

@luci-in-trenchcoats I would also love to hear your thoughts on writing canon vs. AU, since you've written so much of both. What's your favorite, and which do you find more challenging?

Also, since you tied me into knots with this question, right back at ya!! FMK with Dean, Beau, and Benjamin. 😘