#you can’t deny it anymore muahaha

[daddyhoothoot]

Stolitz deniers must be so unhappy after Ghostfuckers. My boy is HEARTBROKEN and WANTS a relationship with Stolas!

[kendrixtermina]

SUBJECTIVE OPINION TIME re: Rhea

Me: * Finishes Empire Route * Maybe it’s just because both dogmatic zealots and quasi-parental figures than only love you “conditionally” tend to set me off personally, but man, Rhea is scary

People: “Well she goes off the deep end there, in the other routes she’s much nicer”

Me: Alright then lets see what nice Rhea is like * waits for it *

[...]

Me: ...where is it?

Rhea: *Is barely IN the other routes* *Never once talks to any of the people who are so loyal to her* *it looks more and more like Edelgard did everyone a solid by removing her from the equation and they dont even know it* 

Rhea’s support chain: is nothing but major creepo vibes (and some Jeralt backstory I guess) - you do get “personal space plz” dialogue options so this isn’t entirely unintentional

Rhea’s S support: “I fabricated a false history, deceived everyone and was literally giddy about the prospect of you becoming a meat puppet until you offered me your tits/dick”

the vibe is very much “This character was basically evil until just now, but sinse she’s somewhat (sym?)pathetic we’re letting you redeem her if you’re really comitted to it” - and why not? Video games are all about freedom. And it makes total sense that she could be swayed by someone acting as a strong protector to her since she has a very childish, self-centered mentality and basically wants her mommy. 

Just saying, none of the lords require you to screw them for them to listen to reason.  You could run off with their best friends if you wanted. 

Alliance Route: Edelgard was right about the censorship and shady meddling... actually, it’s even worse, because she’s to blame for the rampant xenophobia and closed-mindedness too!

I already suspected that Nemesis wasn’t going to turn out to actually have been good/ that there must be a bit more to it, but I’d had a lot more sympathy if she hadn’t basically enslaved 1000 years worths of humans for something their distant ancestors did. Nemesis and the elites were dead. In fact she killed them, and rightly so! But even if she could kill them again and again it wouldn’t bring back Sothis. And what did the commoners ever do to deserve this?

All while the actual Culprits go unchecked, cheerfully inflicting similar slaughter on, say, Edelgard’s and Dimitri’s families. 

They had sad backstories too. Almost the same one (”Agarthans killed my whole clan”). What did Edelgard do with it? Decide that she will uproot both the meddling shadow factions, end inequality and give power to the people even if she has to give up everything she cares about, so the same never happens to anyone else. Sure, she had a much harder time trusting or connecting with people and dealt poorly with being cornered but she recognizes that her classmates aren’t to blame for what their fathers did. What did Dimitri do with it? Well he struggles alot, but he definitely developed empathy for the downtrodden and other victims of violence and he makes an effort to be aware of his shortcomings and be a good person most of the time. He never believes that trying to do good or fight evil means that hes perfect or cant be criticised. At some point he definitely held some resentment against Adrestians as a whole (not just Arundel or Edelgard themselves), but he got over that and became a dedicated peacemaker. 

Both of them have more maturity and self-awareness at 23 than Rhea has at 23 hundred.  

Church Route:  Well, at least Mama Eisner actually DID die of natural causes and there’s no indication that she mistreated her ‘experiments’ in anyways, but it can’t have been great for Byleth’s mom, to grow up knowing that she’s considered a ‘failure’, that her mother figure would so much rather that someone else take her place and is just waiting for her to die of old age so she could repeat the process. 

And then there’s how she made all the higher ups of the church drink her blood/ crest stones

Would this have happened to Jeralt if he hadn’t died when he did? Heavens could she have monsterified anyone who disagreed at any time?!

And just to twitch the knife she just HAS to call poor Byleth “mother”to their face at the very end  after they went through all the trouble to rescue her and forgave her for the meat puppet thing. 

Kingdom Route: 

- The Ashe/Cassandra support DEAR GOD

...did she just get off scot free? 

It’s not like I want her dead, per se, just not-a-threat-anymore.. She lives in her S support but she also partially recognizes her wrongdoings and that she’s unfit to rule and even goes on to atone, so, no objections from me. Whereas here we never see her realize that she was wrong in any way. Sure she’s stepped down but she’s probably discarded and assumed new identities a bajillion times. Just because she CAN cause trouble again doesn’t mean she will but if it were me I’d want some minimal assurance that she wont...

People: “But she has a sad backstory/sympathetic motivations/characterization other than muahaha”

Me: That’s decent writing, not morality. 

By “evil” I don’t mean “cackling disney villain”, I mean that a certain critical mass of badness is present and that her motivations are mainly selfish at other’s expense. Sanctimonious delusions just make it worse.   

Like you might feel sympathy towards some guy who was beaten by his father until you find out that he then went on to beat humiliate and mistreat his own children. It’s the same principle, though I recognize that this is by naturally subjective. 

She’s clearly intended to be tragic/pitiable and I’m certainly not going to get on anyone’s case for feeling sorry for or emphatizing with her (let alone liking her - you’re allowed to like antagonists and not every opinion has to be some great act of moral value)

But wether or not one wants to use the label “evil” which by nature is a subjective emotion-charged thing, or the entirely separate question of what one would or wouldn’t view as appropriate countermeasures,  there’s no denying that the results of her actions were net negative and that she was just plain incompetent and accountable to no one. And she wasn’t ever gonna stop.

It’s hard to give her a pass for being childish when Edelgard, Claude and Dimitri (eventually) take on so much responsibility and determinedly pursue altruistic goals though they are young and inexperienced. 

As I see it, Rhea’s a “rule the world” villain whereas the Agarthans are a “destroy the world” one. Lawful vs Chaotic evil.  Out of the two you’d probably prefer to be subjugated by Rhea because she’ll act as a benevonent tyrant as long as you do not openly defy her but both view the surface-dwelling people as lowly animals. In Rhea’s case, you get to be the pet cat, and she may even protect you like a pet cat. But pet cats dont get any say in how they are governed. 

[joonyverse]

my precious burst of energy - kim namjoon (bts) (oneshot)

A/N: BACK WITH NAMJOON FIC MUAHAHA! I’ve been feeling lottas namjoon feels nowadays, pls bear with me, ily guys <3 Also to those who’s waiting for my Baekhyun’s fic, please wait a little bit more! <333

Summary: You were in the last year of your university. Essays here and there, not to mention researches. To sum it up, it was hell. And you felt like you made a great decision when you decided to move into a cozy nice medium sized apartment near your campus. And your roommate happened to be the campus’ most feared guy. But little incident lead to a thing. What happened though when said incident happened to someone who has graduation on the line and in the middle of breakdown?

Warning: implication of smut happened but no smut scene, curses, bad english, grammar mistakes, unedited

Genre: FLUUUUFF, a lil touch of angst, roommate au, grad stud!namjoon, law stud!reader

Word count: 9,024

Kim Namjoon x readers

oneshot

The fatigue from sleep finally start to kicking in, by giving you signs from the dull ache in your head. You can’t help but stir in your sleep, frown making its way into your face, before you slowly opened your eyes. The sun hasn’t rise fully, but by the slight brighter color that seems to seep from your curtain, you were sure it was around half past six in the morning. 

You let out a little yawn as you stretched out your body. Hands coming down to your eyes to gently rubbed away the sleepiness. You felt like death. Body all stiff, you suspected it was because of your unchanging posture for a long time from finishing essay that is critical on deciding whether you graduate last night.

And finally, the dull ache was being replaced by a pounding pain. You groaned, regretting your choice of finishing your essay in a night. You really regret on putting behind your essay, because now you have to deal with the consequence aka going with at least two hours worth of sleep. You really can’t wait to have this essay get it over and done with. Hours of research and typing makes you wanna poke your eyes out of tiredness.

Getting up from the bed, you walked into the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face. Carefully you made your way there, hand reaching for the wall to steadied yourself. 

The coldness of the water freshen you up a little bit. The grumble in your stomach however remind you that the last meal you had was that sandwich from the cafe that you visited on your way home. 

You walked into the kitchen, silently pouring yourself some cereal and milk into your bowl, before you took a seat on the couch in the living room. 

The sound of door opening break the silence of the morning that seemed to be filling the apartment. Your head quickly shot up at the intruder, spoon stop midway from your mouth. You thanked god that it wasn’t in your mouth just yet or else you’d choke remembering that you probably look like someone who hasn’t have enough rest since they were born.

There was your roommate, Kim Namjoon, walking out of his room. It’s been a month since you both became roommate, and yet, you were still a little bit too intimidated to initiate a friendly conversation whatsoever. Your conversations are all just about house necessities. He was your senior by three years, or well, supposedly had he weren’t graduated. He was notable for his intimidating aura around the campus. No one brave enough to challenge him and his authority, unless you are his friend, a close one at that. From what you heard, he was close to six of the most popular boys at campus, but honestly? You really couldn’t care less, most of them had graduated so there’s no reason for you to care.

But that doesn’t change the fact that you weren’t part of the exception. His aura was overwhelming to you. You were intimidated by his very presence if you could frankly speak. He was this smart student, loved by so many professors to the point that almost at every lesson his name would be mentioned by them at least once, his achievements are all there for anyone to know and anyone to see. He was a student anyone aspire to be. To say that you were intimidated, wasn’t come as a surprise.

Your friends are all beyond shocked when they first knew that Namjoon will be your roommate in your apartment. They were all teasingly comforting you as if saying that you’ll be able to go through this just fine. But really, you swore you almost die from heart attack every time he appeared around you in the apartment.

“G-good morning!” you greeted a little bit way too bubbly and cheerful than you would like to. You mentally slapped your forehead.

Namjoon’s eyes shot up at you. His expression was unreadable, which doesn’t come as a surprise, but you were still feeling like shitting your pants out of humiliation anyway. “Morning” he answered, voice lower and less cheerful than you were. Well it was still early in the morning, what were you expecting anyway.

You turn your attention back to your breakfast decide that maybe, today is not the day you’re going to engage a conversation with Kim Namjoon, once again. You saw it through your peripheral view that he suddenly stopped in his track, caught your attention making you look up at him. 

“U-uh” he stuttered, as if hesitating to talk. Your expression said nothing but inside, you were amused at the fact that he was stuttering. You always imagined Namjoon as the man with his mind always gathered, he got the males and females on the palm of his hand, and have nothing to be afraid of. But seems like that’s not always the case. You were sure if your friends right there, they would go into some teenage girl mode.

You can’t deny at the fact that Namjoon is an attractive man. And you can’t deny the fact that there’s some time where you were just home, and he was watching the TV at the living room, and you would secretly hawking at him. And anyone and their mothers know that Namjoon is one hell of an attractive man, especially with that brain of his. Your theory is further confirmed by the fact of the women’s moans you’d hear at least once in a week. At first you thought he got a lover, but this theory was debunk as you caught several women going out of the apartment, and all are different. You gotta applaud him on that one, because your sex life is currently nonexistent, let alone romance.

But it seems like you fell into deep thoughts because Namjoon’s raised voice to caught your attention managed to make you jump a little bit. “Ah yes! Sorry! What were you saying?” you asked.

Namjoon shook his head. “I’d be home a little bit late today, I’ll have a dinner with my… colleagues tonight” he said, before he scratched the back of his neck, as if asking himself why did he goes into detail, and why did he tell you that when all this time, you both never told each other if either of you going to be home late. Your eyebrow raised in wonder, but nevertheless, you nodded at him, sparing the poor man from possible embarrassment.

“Okay…” you said simply, before going back to your paused meal. The sound of door closing was heard, probably Namjoon was going out for a run. 

After you finished your meal, you washed the dishes before getting ready for the day.

It was almost seven in the evening. Your plan to have some me time was thrown out of the window at this point in your opinion honestly. You were just finishing up your essay that your professor had pointed out that needed to be corrected or some sort, which earned a big internal groan from you. Through your grit teeth, you accept it, with a forced smile of course.

You were beyond tired. And honestly, you felt like crying your heart out, because really, no matter how many times you’ve corrected it, it feels like you’re just always wrong. And you were beyond exhausted and anxious. But you held your tears back, not wanting to break into a breakdown in the middle of the now empty auditorium. Silently, you packed your things into your bag.

The walk towards your apartment was rather solemn. Or at least, it was to you. Everyone was enjoying their Friday night. You saw some people who dressed up to go to a club. Restaurants packed with people, mostly couples. It was a very alive night to say the least. And you felt pathetic for walking with your head down, laptop being held to your chest, a longchamp bag in your shoulder, clearly was dressed for anything but fun.

As soon as you walked into the comfort of your very own room, you immediately went into your study desk, putting your bag that filled with books on top of it, along with your laptop, setting up what you usually need when you work at home. You removed the light makeup you put on before you took a shower and changed into your pajamas. 

With a sigh, you sat on the chair. Your chair was a very comfortable chair, you bought it with your saving, and you had to say, you didn’t regret it one bit. But that doesn’t change the fact that you still get stiff after sitting there for hours, but at least, it was better than what your friends had to go through. You opened your laptop to continue the essay. From time to time, you keep rubbing your eyes, fighting to stay awake. 

The sound of door opening from outside was heard, signaling that Namjoon had gone home, or at least that’s what you hoped for not some burglars forcing entrees. Still you didn’t pull your attention from your work. You can hear the sound of giggles outside, and you were more than sure that Namjoon didn’t have a ‘dinner with his colleague’ like he said this morning. You can only hope that they wouldn’t be as loud as Namjoon’s girls would usually do. You were beyond stressed at this point, and you’re more than sure it wasn’t healthy anymore. 

But seems like luck wasn’t at your side. It was loud. God, you were even wondering why the neighbors haven’t complained yet at the noise, and you can only guess that they’re also got intimidated by Namjoon, too afraid to confront him. You swore you can feel the tears of frustration brimming in your eyes. And seems like it wasn’t your head that control your movements at that point, but rather your heart. As you find yourself getting up from your chair, exiting your room, and walking towards the path of Namjoon’s room.

You can hear the noise getting louder as you getting closer. And you really feel like exploding, maybe from the noise, or maybe from your stressed state and your desperate need to cool off. Your fist land hardly on the door, and you were pretty sure it was rather banging than knocking at the door at that point. “Please shut the fuck up if you’re having sex or at least lower it!” you screamed into the door. You hear all activities ceased there. And for a moment, your mind is finally gathered and you realized what you had done. You run off back into the comfort of your room, continuing your work. Well at least, you can now work in a more silence environment.

It was the next morning that all the things you’ve done the night before came down upon you. And honestly, you were scared to face Namjoon. Did you ruin his night? Absolutely. Did you regret? Well, you clearly do. And now, you are too scared to go out of the room. The sound that your stomach made clearly screamed for food, and you can only whisper-yelled at it to shut up at least until you were sure Namjoon was out of the house. 

You checked the clock on your bedside table. It was showing that it was almost ten. And you really hate the fact that you still had your bed hair on, haven’t shower or anything. Honestly? You felt like you’re going to have 6 boys in your door, mocking you for ruining Namjoon’s night or something. You felt like Namjoon going to make your life a living hell, and you were scared for your own life.

You reached for your phone, and texted your friend about it. You just pressed send, when knocks on your door was heard. You froze on your bed. Not knowing what to do. Should you pretend to be asleep? Should you open the door? Should you open the door and escape from whatever is waiting for you outside that door?

But before you can decide what to do, the door to your room was opened. You mentally blamed yourself for not locking it. And there appeared Namjoon, who seemingly want to peak in at first, but seeing that you were awake, he opened the door a little bit wider, so his head can peaked in better.

“Hey… my friend made us some breakfast if you want” he said while scratching the back of his neck. You can tell that for some reason, he felt awkward.

You who were still froze on the spot, it’s like the sun has shine upon you and melted you. You sat up a little bit more relaxed than you were before. “Uh sure! I’ll be there in a minute” you said.

“Okay good! See you there” he said before he closed the door.

You sighed in relief. It’s like your worries had been lifted at the fact that Namjoon doesn’t seem mad. And now, you felt guilty for ruining his night and possibly his orgasm if he was almost there.

With head down, you walked out of your room, bracing yourself for awkwardness and more of what’s to come.

You sat down on the dining chair, Inhaling the smell of food that seems so delicious. Whoever Namjoon’s friend is, you wouldn’t mind living with them if it means foods like this every single day. You can tell it was homemade. And you didn't know how much you crave it until you saw it before your eyes.

It seems like Namjoon noticed the delirious state you were in. He can’t help but chuckled a little bit. “Please, eat” he said politely.

You shyly look away and eat the food. You swore you can feel your eyes at the back of your head when your spoon reached the inside of your mouth. It was… That good. And Namjoon silently watched you in amusement. You felt like you were a starved man that haven’t eat for years, but now that you think about it, it’s been so long since you eat real food. Your daily food is consist of instant foods from the convenience market near the apartment or the food that you ordered from a restaurant nearby that far from healthy. 

As you put down your spoon and swallowed your food, you felt like you had to say something about last night.

“About last night-“

“About last night-“

You both talked in the same time, causing you both to stop. You looked at each other with a wide eyes. And you both can’t help but chuckle. “Please, you go first” you said.

“Oh no, you go first, I insist” Namjoon said.

“Okay… so here comes nothing I guess” you muttered. “I’m so sorry for last night, I didn’t mean to ruin your night or anything, and clearly I didn’t mean to yell and banging on your door last night, it was my bad” you apologized.

Namjoon’s eyes widened. “Oh no no no, please, don’t be sorry, it should be me who’s supposed to be sorry, after all it was my partner that was being loud, you sound rather stressed last night, are you okay?” he asked, eyes filled with concern.

You clearly caught off guard. You expected anything but his concern. “Well, you know, or you probably don’t considering how people admire you so much and how smart you are, but it was just… you know, it’s my last year and all, and I have this very important essay, and I’m a little bit more stressed than I’m supposed to, and I- I’m sorry, I’m rambling” you said before you shook your head at your tendency on talking more than you supposed to. 

Namjoon chuckled again. “No no, it’s okay, I understand, I also went through what you’re going through, anxieties and stress, mostly stress though, I’m scared that it won’t be enough to get me to graduate, blah blah blah” he said.

“Yeah! Just like that” you agreed. 

“I can help you if you want?” Namjoon offered.

“Huh? Oh no! You really don’t need to-“ “It’s okay, I don’t mind, I like helping people anyway” he shrugged.

“Oh really? But I don’t want to burden you…” 

“It’s okay really, just bother me whenever when you need help because I clearly don’t mind” he said with a smile followed by a wink, making you somewhat flustered. “Do you have any plan tonight?” He asked.

“Well, my plan for tonight is actually finishing my never-ending essay at this cafe that my friend keep recommending me, but she’s out with her boyfriend so… yeah” you said.

“Well, might as well bring me along so I can help you!”

“Are you sure-“

“Y/n, I’m more than sure, please, just let me help you, take this as my apology of being noisy last night and for haven’t offering you my help all this time” he insisted.

You chuckled at how persistent he was. “Okay, we’re going at 3 then” you said with a smile on.

“3 it is”

It was almost three. You were sitting in front of your wardrobe not knowing what to wear. It feels like nothing looks good on you despite you’ve been wearing the clothes countless times.

“It’s not even a date, why am I brainstorming on what to wear again?” you rumbled to yourself.

A knock on your door woke you up from your trance. “Are you ready?” Namjoon asked from behind the door. 

You panicked and quickly got up. Quickly chose an outfit to wear. “Hold on! Let me change my clothes!” you said.

You finally settled for a white short sleeved, a mom jeans, and a white sneakers to complete the fashion. You brought your laptop and longchamp bag that filled with books with you before you made your way out of your room.

“Well, let’s go!

You had fun really. With Namjoon’s help, you felt your uneasiness was relieved by a lot. He was a lot nicer than you actually thought at first. He made the subject seems easy really. And you were more than thankful for his help, because you were sure without his help, your essay would be nowhere. As your thank you, his beverage was your treat, despite him insisting on paying. 

You both laughed at he fact how it’s been 4 years, yet you only got close now. You really blamed yourself on being too scared to approach him.

“Well, to my defense, you always seem busy, the first two years, you were busy with university and your organizations, and then the next, you were busy with searching for a job, and I guess, it’s only know I finally get to know about you!” you defended yourself.

Namjoon playfully raised an eyebrow at you. “Are you sure it’s only about that?” he teased.

You laughed. Clearly he caught you there. “Well, I admit that you intimidated me! But who wouldn’t? Literally everyone in my year is scared of you, and of course, I can’t help but feel the same” You said while pouting.

“I really don’t get why they’re scared of me! I’m a nice man!” Namjoon whined.

“Well, you are this attractive man with one hell of a sexy brain and lots of achievements, and every professor talk about you at least once in every lesson… boy, don’t be surprised” you said before you took a sip of your drink.

Namjoon suddenly made a teasing face at you, like as if something you said had intrigued him a lot. “What? Something on my face?” you asked, hand reaching for your face, feeling somewhat self conscious.

“No no, but you said I’m an attractive man with a sexy brain” Namjoon said while chuckling.

Your breathe got caught, and you almost choked. You really got to stop talking beyond what your brain can handle, because that is clearly out of the line.

“Oh don’t worry, many had told me about that before” he said in a playful tone with a smirk on his face.

You can’t help but rolled your eyes. “Oh sure you had, the constant noise in our house proves that” you retorted back.

That evening, you both chat with each other as he helped you, getting to know each other better. And maybe… he isn’t as bad as what people told you. No, he’s definitely not like what those people said.

It wasn’t until as you went home that you chatted your friend about your day.

from y/n: Holy shit, but I think I just have a good day after so many bad days? from y/n: he’s not so bad…

Monday finally comes around. You can’t help but groan, as you have to go to the campus again. You were low-key wishing that you would break a bone so you wouldn’t have to go. But of course that didn’t happen, because as much as you wish for so, break a bone would hurt so bad, and hospital bill is expensive, and you wouldn’t risk foods for broken bones.

And just like you expected, it was a long day. You were chatting with your friends at the cafeteria. You would chat outside if it wasn’t for the heat. But even inside, you could feel you’re about to break into sweats, proven by how you and your friends keep fanning to yourself.

The conversation about Namjoon surprisingly doesn’t come up. You were pretty surprised as it was your friend here that you were talking about. But you didn’t prey on it. But for some reason, that’s all you wanna talk about. You want to gush about him, about your day, and yet you feel like you can’t. And you don’t even know why.

Until suddenly a sight caught your attention. It was Namjoon walking towards the entrance of your cafeteria. You were genuinely confused of Namjoon’s sudden appearance here. But seems like your excitement outweighs your logic as you found yourself leaping out of the seat, and running towards him, earning a few yells of questions from your friends.

You greeted him excitedly. “Hi Namjoon!” you called. And you felt it. Everyone stopped whatever they were doing, dead in their tracks. And you feel yourself suddenly froze in your own place. Your eyes were about to close in shame as you see Namjoon scratching the back of his neck. Uh oh, did you make him uncomfortable?

And then you remember the reputation he held. God… to anyone’s sight, it’s like you were greeting the beast asking for death. His nice side, you only recovered it like two days ago. He probably doesn’t want so many people to find out, and now that you greeted him excitedly like some teenager in love, people going to talk about it for perhaps days, or even years, and now your peaceful university days without drama will be tarnished, just like that. And you mentally slapped yourself.

Your friend quietly bowed to him before she dragged you back to your seat. And you swore you almost cried in embarrassment. But you were a big girl, you wouldn’t cry in a public place like this.

Your embarrassment reached its peak, as a woman suddenly approached Namjoon who had sit in a seat in front of you and your friends. They look like they were closed with each other. Well judging by the fond smile they shared with each other, it seems like they were close. The woman was rather beautiful. God, you were wondering even if you ever seen her in any magazines, but you don’t remember. It looks like she stepped freshly out of a runway or a manga. And you can see some people in the cafeteria eyeing her. She clearly knows how to flaunt her beauty in the perfect places.

Your friends were asking you about what the hell was that whole fiasco about. And yet you can’t focus on it. Your focus remained on the sight before you and the strange burning sensation in your chest. You can see them giggling with each other. And it seems like your friend caught that, and so she shoved a sandwich into your mouth.

“Now that I think about it, you texted me about him… right?” you friend asked, caught your attention. 

And for some reason, you don’t want to admit that. “Nope, you saw that wrong probably” you said.

Your other friend’s curiosity peaked in. “Oh! what did she say?” she asked while giggling.

“Oh no! Minhyuk I swear if you tell her-“

“Honey, I won’t tell her” Minhyuk said, with something that sounds like evilness glazing his words. He suddenly leaned into you. “I will show her” he said right into your ear, before moving to sit next to your friend, Seulgi, to show the text to her.

You didn’t just moved, you flew from your seat, reaching for his phone, hoping Seulgi hadn’t read any about it . “Oh no! You better come back before I kick your ass!” you whined to Minhyuk, as he kept shoving you off of him. But really, he overpowered you, and there’s nothing you can’t do except huffing in your seat, expecting a blow of teasing from both of your friends.

“Ooh~! Someone has a crush!” Seulgi teased as she finished reading the text. Your eyes widened. “Who said it was a crush?! I’m not a middle schooler!” You groaned.

Both of your friends chuckled at that, as if sensing lies in your words. “I bet you were actually dying to talk about him” Minhyuk said. You scoffed quickly, and you felt like it was too quick. “I bet you were dying to talk about him, but I really got to applaud you for having so much self restraint” he said followed by a laugh.

Seulgi laughed at his remark. “Well, clearly she lost it there for a moment” she said referring to the earlier incident. You felt your blood rush to your cheek, as you feel another wave of embarrassment at the memory of it. 

And then you saw it. Namjoon and the girl got up from the seat. You saw her slipped her hand into his easily. And he didn’t complain nor look uncomfortable. You tilt your head in confusion really. Did Namjoon has a llover all this time?

And for a moment you were panicking, because what if he heard the conversation? What if his girlfriend heard it?. And just like that, you were dreading to go home, and basically curse in your head at the fact you just have one last lesson of the day before you can finally go home. It was funny considering you were ecstatic about going home early this morning, but now, you just feel like moving to another country.

And finally, the time that you dreaded come. You internally groaned at yourself. Neither of your friends had finish lesson. And it means you have to go home, alone. You would wait for them, but you didn’t want to wait for another four hours. You’re not a big fan of staying in the campus for so late.

And now here you were, walking down the street that you know very well is the way to the place you called home. Well, the place you currently rather dread to go to. And so you took a detour, to the library near your apartment. 

The only reason you went to the library was, you need somewhere silent and serene. You were desperate to take some naps without having to be confronted. Not that Namjoon will scold you for taking nap. But at the moment, library is the only plausible place to do that. And beside, after you woke up, you could maybe finish your essay with the help of the books in there.

You took a seat at the very back of the library. It was almost hidden by the high shelves. It was perfect for people who doesn’t want to be found or disturbed. You randomly picked a book as your disguise. You placed your things on the table, next to your head, that you rested on the table, with your hands as a makeshift pillow.

After finally what you felt like hours, you finally woke up. Feeling a little bit more refreshed now that you’ve napped. You stretched your arms out, feeling the blood had flow again. You reach for your phone to check the time out. And it seems like you’ve slept for two hours more or less. You got up from your seat to return the book you took before, as you took the book you really need for your essay, and return to your seat.

It’s like the nap was the best nap you ever took as you found yourself easily doing your essay, your thoughts flow easily. And you felt like a champ in that moment, just for simply doing your essay.

Time flies so fast when you’ve focused on something. Because as your eyes took a slight glance to the clock on your laptop, it was already late, almost 9pm. The grumble in your stomach proven just that. Hours of brainstorming really took a toll on you and your now drained energy. So you packed up your things and head back home.

And the thought of the confrontation you oh so feared of really flew passed your head.

You quietly entered the passcode to your apartment, carefully stepping in, tiptoeing even. The house was quite, and you suspect that Namjoon is either out or sleeping. But judging by the man shoes that were placed next to yours, it seems like Namjoon was here.

The lights in the living room was on, revealing Namjoon who was sitting on the couch, with what look like pizza on the coffee table, and honestly, if you weren’t feeling awkward, you would totally snatch one. He was scrolling through his phone when the sound of your arrival was heard. He put down his phone on the table and sit straighter.

“Hey, why were you so late?” he asked, curiosity peeking in. His voice stopped you in your track. You were like a deer that caught in a headlight, or at least, that’s what it seems to you.

You rubbed the back of your neck. “Uh, I was doing my essay?” you said. And you hoped to god that it was convincing.

“…where?” he asked. You were really wondering why he was asking so many questions when usually he will let whatever your excuses go, because really, usually neither of you care enough about each other to dive in deeper.

“The library near our apartment?” you said, your head tilted a little bit. Honestly, you were flustered at the amount of attention he had on you. Maybe because there’s only the two of you in the house at the moment?

He suddenly got up from his seat, walking towards you. And you can hear yourself screaming ‘Oh no!’ inside your head as he towering over you. “I-I’m sorry” he said, eyes staring at his feet, or your feet, you weren't sure.

“Uh… what for?” you asked. Because honestly, the incident earlier doesn’t quite come to your mind for some reason.

“I probably embarrassed you earlier” he said. “I’m sorry, I'm just… surprised” he added.

And the incident finally came to your mind. The memory of it makes you hoping that the earth would open a hole just to swallow you whole. “Ah… It’s okay, don’t worry about it, I should be the one that apologize, you were probably got scared off” you said, mumbling the last sentence, followed by a light chuckle. 

“No, no, no, I’m sorry, I should’ve greeted you back but I just stayed silent like a fool, and you were probably got embarrassed, because if I were you, I would too, and I would probably feel like a fo-“

“Namjoon” you cut him off, not wanting to hear him blaming himself over nothing.

He finally closed his mouth and looked at you. Eyes wide opened. “Yeah?” he asked.

“It’s nothing, don’t blame yourself over it, but if you really want to apologize, I’ll be more than thankful if you offer me that pizza” you said, nodding at the direction where the pizza at.

“Pizza? Ah… that pizza, please have some!” he offered.

You mentally do a victory dance. You walked towards the couch, putting your bag on the carpet and your laptop on the table before you took a slice of the pizza. It’s far from healthy, but as soon as you took a bite, it’s like angel had come upon you and take you to the heaven. You quietly hum in contentment. 

“Have you ate dinner?” Namjoon asked as he took a seat beside you, at the other end of the couch. 

“I’m eating it right now!” you said, barely audible as you were munching on your second slice of pizza. “And I’m really hungry, so I hope you don’t mind if I finish this heavenly pizza” you continued after you swallowed.

“Of course not, please have it, I’m rather concerned at the fact you forego your dinner, because pizza is not a dinner y/n” he said in as a matter of fact tone, making you rolled your eyes playfully.

“Oh! By the way, I didn’t know you have a girlfriend?” you asked. You really didn’t mean to prey on his private life, but your curiosity got the best of you.

“Girlfriend?” he asked back in confusion.

Now you were flustered. Then who the heck was that?. “Uh the girl you were with? At the cafeteria?” you asked, as you took another slice, not wanting to show whatever it is that you tried to hide in your voice.

“Ah… she was my cousin! She’s a student there too, I think she’s 2 years below you? Or at least that’s what I remember” He said followed by a shrug. “But why were you curious?” He suddenly asked, eyes intensely staring at you, making you almost choked on your pizza.

“Don’t get me wrong mister! My friends are curious too to my defense!” You said after you swallow your pizza. And now that you mentioned your friend, you remember about your conversation, and how you so hope that Namjoon didn’t hear any of it.

“Are you sure?” Namjoon asked, a playful smirk on his face. God, you really wish upon the earth to just swallow you whole in that moment.

“What were you doing anyway at my campus?” you asked, averting the focus, well, that’s what you were trying to. 

“Taking this certificate that I got from doing competition” he answered nonchalantly.

Before he can switch the focus again, you abruptly got up from the couch, taking your belonging with you. “It’s late! I’m going to sleep!” You announced as you quickly walk towards your room. Not without Namjoon hot on your tail screaming, “Were you jealous?”

A few days had passed. Everyone in the group chat were having fun announcing they had finished their essay. And yet, you were still stuck with a chapter left. And that makes you can’t enjoy the fun. But what was worse was the anxiety that starts bubbling up at the fact that among your friends, you were the only one that hasn’t finished the essay.

You were honestly exhausted. Your brain can't be forced to be productive that day for some reason. You were extremely feeling exhausted. No matter how long you’ve been staring at the screen of your laptop, nothing comes to your mind what to type next. Even after reading some books for reference, you couldn’t focus on more than two sentences. 

Tears of frustration were brimming in your eyes. You just really wanted to finish the goddamn essay. And you felt like you were failing, once again. You’ve been sitting on the same spot for hours, you can feel your butt is hot, legs are stiff and so does your neck. 

A knock on the door doesn’t even shook you from your concentration on nothing at all. Whoever saw you at the moment would’ve thought you were just an empty shell of a human without soul.

A gentle and concerned voice however woke you from your trance, made your head shot at whoever was there.

“Are you okay? You haven't been out of the room for hours now” Namjoon said, concern was lacing his voice and face. He apparently had let himself in after getting no response from you. “You haven’t eat any meals, y/n” he added.

You just shook your head. “I’ll eat it once I finish” you said shortly.

He sighed as he walked towards you. His figure towering over you. Truth be told, you were a little bit intimidated under his stare. You looked up at him. Eyes questioning him. “What?” you asked.

His eyes stare right onto yours. “That essay won’t be finished by itself if you can’t think y/n” he said nonchalantly. You groaned in response, knowing that very well. “Eat, being hungry makes your brain stop working” he said in a commanding tone.

“Well sir, first of all, you’re not-“

Your words were being cut by him grabbing a hold of your hand. You were confused at his action of seemingly dragging you from your seat by his grab.

“Namjoon? What are you doing?” you asked, as you helplessly follow him seeing how he is much stronger than you. You knew he’s working out these days. And this moment remind you of how much you need to work out.

“Well miss, we are going to feed your poor stomach some food because apparently the owner is misbehaving” he teased.

You groaned again at him, head shaking at his antic. “Come on! I’m not five!” You whined at him.

He chuckled like as if a kid was sputtering nonsense at him and he was just playing along. “Well, you acted like one” he said. “Let’s go, wear your shoes because I’m taking you out, my treat!”

You really do end up having a great time thanks to him. Despite you whined at your lack of effort on dressing up, that he said was fine.

“You know what? Dress up or not, you are still pretty to me” he said nonchalantly as he took a sip of his coke. 

And oh god you swore on your life you almost choked on your milkshake. He really said that without a care like as if it wasn’t just made you a blushing mess.

“Are you okay?” He asked as he handed you a tissue.

You take the tissue from his hand, cleaning the little mess you made as you shook your head. “Yep! Totally! Like as if you weren’t just casually call me pretty!” You said.

Suddenly a ruffle on your head stop you in your track. Namjoon leaned closer to you before whispering in your ear, “were you shy?” 

You hit his arm, playfully so he knows you weren’t some violent maniac. “I bet you are good at bars!” You said.

“Well, I clearly am” he said, hinting at the incident that happened before, before he winked at you.

You gave him a stare before you shook your head in disbelief. What a character you thought.

After some nice meals that he paid for, you both head back home. Your tummy felt rather nice after being starved for so long and then being fed with delicious meals that you countlessly thanked Namjoon for.

You both had a little chit chat here and there as you walk. He promised to help you with your essay till you finish it. Despite your protests because you know he was searching for a job and he must be busy as well, but he insists. That way, he can help you on balancing your campus life and your part time to pay your rent and your foods.

And just like he promised, he helped you on your essay. And remind you to take some breaks in between, not wanting to push you so hard to your breaking points. He had been there before, knowing how hard it must be for you.

One study session later though. It was a particular day for you. You didn’t have any class. So you spent it on your essay. Working on it in the living room. You woke up early that day, believing that if you do it early, you might finish it before the day ends.

Namjoon who was just woke up and was walking out from his room was pleasantly surprised at the sight of you, your glasses at the tip of your nose, and you sliding it up once in a while. Your eyes focused at the task before you. He watched you from his place, and yet you haven’t noticed his presence. He quietly smiled to himself, fond of the sight of you.

He finally decide to move from his hiding place and walked towards the kitchen, greeting you as he walked passed by. “Good morning, y/n” he said.

You looked up from your laptop for a second, sending him a soft smile, and a quiet “morning!”

He sat on the carpet next to you after his trip to the kitchen, eyes reading the words on your laptop. He silently slide a bowl of cereal to you. You looked at him. The close proximity caught you off guard, and you had the urge to kiss his cheek but that would totally freaked him out so you decide to give him a fond smile and a thank you his way.

He smiled back, despite still having his eyes on the screen of your laptop. “I’m gonna take a shower and then I’ll help you with it” he said as he stood up from his place to go to the bathroom.

After some time, he freshly out of the shower, was walking back towards you. You really felt like a steamed potato next to him now that he looks so fresh and smelled so good, but when you’re focused, you couldn’t bother yourself to do anything but that.

“How are you doing?” He asked, eyes focused on your figure. 

“Well, I’m almost finished! Thanks to you!” You said, you gave him a quick smile, before you avert your focus back to your laptop.

He sat beside you again, just like he did before. “Well finish it, and if I think you did well, you’ll get a reward” he said.

You stopped typing. Your head turned to him. “A reward?” You asked.

He nodded cutely. And you thank god you were able to hold yourself back from kissing him. “Yes, a reward, would you like that?” He asked.

You chuckled. “Well, that’s up to on what the reward is?” You said.

“Well, I hope whatever the reward is, you would like it” he said almost shyly as he rubbed the back of his neck. 

You chuckled at his behaviour. “Well Kim Namjoon, I like any kind of reward as long as it’s a good thing” you said, giving him a wink before you focus back on your essay.

An hour passed. And you finally finished it. You let out a relief sigh. After weeks of doing it, you finally finished it and you couldn’t be more proud of yourself.

“I finished it!” You exclaimed. Giving Namjoon a slight hug as your excitement got the best of you. Namjoon chuckled, seeing you were so happy give him a burst of energy.

“Okay, I’ll check it, see if you did well and you might get a reward” he said as he took your laptop into his lap.

He carefully read it, words by words. And you worried he might finish by tomorrow looking at how many the pages there are. But thankfully, he only read start from the pages that he hadn’t read before on your study sessions.

After like half an hour had passed, he put the laptop back on the table. You nervously anticipate his critics and reviews on your essay. You felt like his opinion matter so much to you, but then again, he is the student that every professor likes, of course it matters.

“So how is it?” You asked, fingers fidgeting. 

Namjoon stares into you. His expression was unreadable, making you even more anxious. “Close your eyes” he said.

Your expression changed into confusion. “What? Why?” You asked.

“Well, you would only know if you did well if you close your eyes” he said with a slight smirk on his face.

You were confused. But somehow, he convinced you into doing so. And beside, you would do anything to hear his opinion by now. And so you closed your eyes.

For a few seconds, nothing happened. And you almost opened your eyes again, if it wasn’t for Namjoon told you to close your eyes still or else he will just walk away.

“Namjoon would you plea-“

Your words were cut off. Let me correct that. Your words were cut off by another pair of lips that placed a gentle kiss on yours. To say you were surprised was an understatement. But it didn’t take you long to kiss the man before you back.

You placed your arms around his neck as you reciprocate his action. He deepened the kiss even more, as his hands traveled from your cheeks to your waists, pulling you even closer. He finally brought you onto his lap, and so now you sat on his lap, as your legs were around his waist.

You both pulled away as your lungs felt like it will burst if you hadn’t. You both gasps for breath. Smile was painting both of your faces. Your forehead was touching, and your eyes were still closed.

“Was that my reward?” You asked as you slowly opened your eyes, looking at his that has opened.

He gave you another peck on the lips, earning a giggle from you. “Well, I thought about taking you on a date, but I’m just so proud of my girl” he said.

You blushed at him calling you his. And you certainly let a little giggle escape from you. Happiness fill your chest. “Am I your girl now?” You asked, eyebrow raising.

“Well, if you want to” he shrugged.

You chuckled again at his words. “We literally just made out here Namjoon, I’m sitting on your lap for god sake!” You said. “But, take me on a date and I’ll consider it” you said teasingly.

“Well, go take a shower and dress up because I’ll take you to the best date of your life” he said before he gave you another peck.

It was your graduation day. Namjoon witness everything. From how excited you were that day when you woke up in his arms, basically shaking his body to woke him up to tell him how today is finally the day you graduate. To turn the excitement to nervousness as you did your hair and makeup, feeling how real it is now.

He had to hold you from time to time, reminding you that he was there, with you, and for you. And what matter most is you, his baby, is graduating today! And he was so proud of you. And truth be told, Namjoon loving this moment.

He was by your side in your every step that day. From helping you to wore the dress with pastel colour that you bought specifically for this day to the academic dress that you wore over it. He let you held onto him as you got into your heels

He felt a sense of pride seeing you in it. He swore he felt tears in his eyes seeing you, beautiful from head to toe, making him all proud.

He can’t help but pull you into his warm chest before you both leave. His chin resting on top of your head. You silently enjoying the hug you were in, his presence bring comfort into you.

“Baby” he called. “I’m so proud of you”

You smiled against his chest. You let go of the hug to look him in the eyes. “Thank you so much, if it wasn’t you who helped me, I wouldn’t be able to do it” you said, sincerity pouring from your heart.

He ruffle your hair gently, not wanting to ruin it. He kissed the tip of your nose. “Oh no, you would still be able to do it with or without my help, my opinion into it however makes your seeing in your work more clearer, you are smart y/n, your intelligence is one of the thing I love about you” he said, voice almost barely audible if it wasn’t for the close proximity.

You playfully hit his chest. “Now this is ridiculous coming from someone who’s beyond smart!” You giggled. “Thank you for the compliments anyway!”

He looked into your eyes. “God, I love you” he said with all sincerity. His eyes soft and gentle.

Your heart melted. You gave him a soft smile. Your heart was melting and soaring at his declaration. “I love you too baby”

It was at the hall of the campus. Everyone were celebrating with their loved ones. Taking pictures of the day that will certainly will be engraved in their mind forever. You smiled at the happiness that seem to surround you. 

You took pictures with your best friends, Minhyuk and Seulgi, that had helped  and will always help you to go through so many ups and downs. Promise of always staying in contact were made.

You took pictures with your parents. Without them, you won’t be here probably. The proudness in their faces make your hardships feel worth if. After all, your parents’ proudness means so much to you. You hugged them both, promise to make them even prouder in the future.

You took pictures with Namjoon. Without whom you probably won’t finish your essay. You looked at his side profile before reaching in to kiss his cheek. His eyes stared right into yours, fill with love. You hugged him and promise to give him the love and support he deserves.

You were so happy you have all these people in your life.

After the ceremony ended, you all decide to part ways as your parents had to go back to their offices. Your friends had decide to spent it with their partners. And that left you with Namjoon. Not that you were complaining. 

You really can’t keep your hands all to yourself. How could you when you are just so over the moon. And Namjoon can’t help but beam too. He swore he was almost happier than he was during his own graduation. Your happiness was radiating to him.

And now that leads you to this moment. He was kissing you with so much passion, you felt like he really took your soul to another dimension. His hands all over you, can’t seemingly keep his hands to himself either. You both pull away to catch some breathes.

“God y/n, I wish I can show you just how much I love you” he said. 

“Well, nothing stopping you, we have the time all to ourselves” you whispered into his ear, making his hold on your body tightened. You whimpered at him, making him groaned.

“Well baby, let me just act it out how much I love you” he growled into your ear, earning a giggle from you.

And now there you both, in bed, all sweaty and out of breath, chest rising and falling, hearts full with nothing but love. You who were laying beside him, moved closer to lay your head on his naked chest, hearing how his heart beats loudly. Your arms were around him. Eyes closing, enjoying this very moment. 

Namjoon’s hand reaching for the loose strands of hair around your face. He gently and carefully play with your hair, and then hug you tighter into him. The feeling of your body on him, your presence beside him, makes him feel so alive, heart is so full of love, it almost hurts.

“Y/n?” He called.

You hummed in response, not really having the energy to give him a proper response.

He felt like choking up out of sudden. His emotions overwhelming him. Feeling him tensing up under you, you immediately look at him, giving him your full undivided attention.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” You asked, concern blanketing your very being.

He shook his head as a smile made its way into his face. But he can’t help the tear that escaped from his eyes. “It’s just... I love you so much, and I’m so proud of you” he said, smiles so bright you were sure the sun was jealous.

You can’t help but smiled. If your heart was full of love, imagine how much it overflows with love now. You were literally so in love it almost hurts. “I love you too Namjoon, very” you whispered, as if trying to whisper it to his very soul.

He leaned in and gave you a kiss.

“And I’m so lucky to have you”

Thanks to 

I would like to dedicate this page into showing my infinite gratitude to the people who had helped me completed and finished this essay, and had helped me to overcome the thick and thin, the ups and downs, of my university days. To you who I’m thankful for, to you who I’m always grateful for.

(1) To Professor Kim who had spared his time to oversee this essay and guided me along the way

(2) To my parents who had my back and support and love me unconditionally, my constant motivation in life, and whose support without I would be nothing

(3) My dear friends, who I always glad to have, to have my back, helped me through so many ups and downs, to cheer me up, and to be the people that always there for me

(4) And last but not least, to my love, Kim Namjoon, whose love, support, and help without, I wouldn’t be able to go through this, thank you for being there for me when I’m in the verge of giving up, because of your unconditional love and support, I’m here, your constant gentle rub on my back as you whispered sweet motivations into my ears will always be in my mind and my heart.

Sincerely,

Y/n.