#you can take the genshin out of the businessman

[ruumirmir]

Employee of the Month

really, i dont think half of this should be taken seriously, HOWEVER:

I think loverboy's peakest babygirl moment in all of his career should be singlehandedly getting pantalone to invent the concept of "employee of the month" for the sole reason of having a workplace excuse to spoil and praise him without raising suspicion. 👀 Which I'll set in the timeline Before pantalone becomes the harbinger, and is just a fairly high ranking official at present.

(theres like a whole backstory ive cooked up that my moot is currently writing now so this entire post might make a lot more sense after my requested fic is out lmao)

like yeah,, pantalone eventually does come to realize and notice that Hmmm! This one man is a particularly diligent worker! His excellent workplace charm and wet puppy eyes have captivated me !

Perhaps a little shy to praise.

(lil bro is actively trying to avoid the spotlight in such a line of work)

Celestia knows how many hundreds of fatui are trained and raised in the soldiers way 🙄 With the Tsaritza's mercy the organization will rarely happen upon a handful of sparkly-eyed new recruits that can actually be COMPETENT with the brunt of the logistics, diplomacy and theoretical PAPERWORK that keeps the fatui running.

God knows that harbingers like Pantalone, Pulcinella, and occasionally Arlecchino NEED subordinates behind desks rather than on the field.

So the idea comes to pantalone on a fine sunny day with a stroke of genius !

because the work environment under each harbinger is so Different, you could categorize pantalone to (relatively) have the safest, and most boring work imaginable.

Definitely in which case, job motivation is very..... low. Well not anymore apparently,, in comes loverboy, newly enrolled in the fatui

with a personal vendetta against risking his precious life on the field, who damn well MAKES SURE his work merits and skills direct him towards a cushy job with good pay. and that eventually catches pantalone's attention, whos like

Wow! I wonder how i can get myself to play favorites in my department in broad daylight without it being suspicious... Hmmm...

And then on the first day of the upcoming month, out goes a notice to every subordinate, manager, accountant, secretary and etc etc, about a brand new system set in place! and would you look at that:

Loverboy nearly digs a hole and buries himself on the spot out of embarrassment when he sees a nice framed photo of him hung up at the Northland bank's noticeboard with nice bold letters saying

"Fatuus of the Month"

followed by a nice motivational speech by pantalone that goes a little too into loverboy's personal quirks rather than his excellent contributions to the bank.

Really, it might've only been a little over 1.5 years into his mandated fatui service, but he's already been sent off with a neat bonus.... a small material gift that pantalone bought him, and a strong surge of interest from his fellow colleagues/comrades.

So much for trying to avoid the spotlight :P

also pspsppspsps @eluxcastar would you like some loverboy thoughtposting

[shomixremix]

AT MERCY OF THE SAVIOURS

this is basically just gangfucking my team in genshin. but i do have one hot team, at least!

and thank you all sm for 100 followers!! this is like a little special for that occasion hehe

tags: zhongli, itto, alhaitham, wriothesley, female! reader, smut, gangbanging, blowjob, rough sex, creampie

-> listen. i do not know how or why the ex-geo archon turned businessman, a feral demon from inazuma who says fuck you to the authorities, a badass scholar from sumeru who's done with everyone and the count of criminals from fontaine would ever be in a same place let alone doing the same thing, yet here they are, gang-fucking the reader.

(can you imagine how much smuttier this will get once i pull for neuvillette)

reqs open ♡︎ | minors DNI

"mhh, fuck, so good, doll.." wriothesley grunted as he fucked you from the back, pounding into you with a steady pace. his thick fingers squeezed your meaty hips, sternly holding you in place. his thick cock was entering, no, abusing your greedy hole, each time making sure you could feel every single one of his inches dragging harshly against your plushy walls.

you tried to moan, scream, make any sound from how good he felt - but you couldn't, not with zhongli's dick so deep in your throat.

"yes..." the ex-archon sighed, a couple of beads of sweat rolling down his forehead. "you feel otherworldly, my dear. keep on sucking like that for me, hm?"

his words thick with praise made your pussy throb and clench around the man dicking you down, your legs and arms quivering. propped up only on your hands and knees, ass met with wriothesley's balls every time he thrusted in and mouth wrapped entirely on zhongli's shaft, you weren't sure if you even had the strength to hold yourself up any more.

you were cockdrunk from the way you could feel zhongli's tip repeatedly hitting the back of your throat, your numerous moans sending vibrations through his length so deliciously. even though your mouth was entirely filled with him, you still managed to whine and whimper, a little bit of drool dripping from your mouth.

"mmpphh, zhongli! z-zhongli!!"

in the process of focusing on giving the dragon adeptus the best head of his entire immortal life, you didn't realize you were neglecting your other lover, the one who was bullying your gummy g-spot with every trust and making you cream around him for the nth time. and the duke of criminals was having none of that.

"i'm glad you think at least one of us is doing a good job at satisfying you, slut" he almost growled out a sarcastic comment, rubbing the soft cheeks of your milky ass. suddenly, he slapped it hard, bottoming out in you with a loud smack! and picking up his pace.

"hey, don't- ahh, fuck, don't talk to her like that! she's s' pretty, yeah, such a pretty girl... needs that perfect ass grabbed and fucked full, not hurt, yeah? you understand what i'm sayin', right, bro?" a familiar voice joined in on the conversation, his loud voice coming out in breathless pants as he warned wriothesley. even though you couldn't see him, you knew that the oni was watching you get fucked by these two men, roughly jerking his monster cock.

"shut it, itto" another voice chimed in, scolding the large demon. "she can take it. she's tougher than she looks; don't let those puppy-like eyes deceive you. it wouldn't even surprise me if this was what she wanted all along: to be spanked and punished as she begs for more. not to even mention the way there's four of us here and she's only paying her sweet attention to just one... i believe that behavior is suitable for a good punishment."

ahh, the all too familiar voice of the fourth man sitting beside the oni, a long cock in the scholar's hand as he slowly stroked himself to the sight of you being fucked out by the others. you whined around zhongli from how rough they were treating you, feeling a little bit guilty for neglecting wrio and putting all of your attention on the geo archon.

"they might be right, love" zhongli hums as he fucks your mouth, immensely enjoying how you take all of him in your throat so eagerly.

"you have been beyond good for me, darling, but i think it's time we let someone else take their turn, hm? i have already had my fun with you, i believe it is time i let our friend, mister wriothesley, gain your full attention... what do you think, dear?"

all you could do was let out a whine around his tip, displeased that you'll have to say goodbye to his warmth and his rock-hard cock that so nicely filled your mouth... on the other hand, you felt guilty and ashamed for neglecting wriothesley, who jealously and feverishly thrusted into you, staying quiet.

"oh, don't be like that, love... one more, and you're all mister wriothesley's. do you understand?" even though his tone made your head fuzzy, you knew damn well that was an order, a warning of some sort. you nod eagerly, sucking at his sensitive veins as you feel how the fontainian man fucks you eagerly.

"she's close, shit!" wrio hums to the rest of them, talking about you as if you weren't even there. "just finish on her face and mouth already so i can give her what she needs."

something about the thought of another spilling all of himself over your pretty face and in your plump mouth made itto's cock twitch in his hands. archons, how that thought brought feelings of jealousy mixed with excitement…

"very well" regarded zhongli, holding the back of your head as he thrusted hard in your mouth. you gave it your best to give him pleasure, gently swirling your tounge around all his most sensitive spots and relaxing the tense muscles of your throat. as soon as you relaxed and let him thrust a little deeper, zhongli groaned out your name and released his hot pleasure in your mouth. you couldn't help but eagerly gulp down everything he gave you, a little bit of it spilling from the corners of your plump lips.

you released him from your mouth with a pop! and he petted you hair, looking down at you with nothing but adoration in his tourmaline eyes.

"there. so well-behaved for me." zhongli praised through a hum, soothing your cheek gently with his thumb. his head slightly raised, now turned to the man still balls-deep inside your cushy cunt.

"she's all yours, mister wriothesley." the dark-haired man hums in acknowledgement, quickly changing your position and tossing you on your back. your hands fly to his head, gently holding him between your palms.

"mmphh, wrio.." you moan softly, your fingers gently dancing through his thick, black strands.

"oh, so now you know how to moan my name, doll?"

your hips buck up to his eagerly, begging for more movement. you were just on the very brink of your peak, sososo unbelievably close-

"need something?" he asks, completely still inside you. you nod feverishly, blabbing and moaning as you look up at his pretty, simply hypnotic eyes.

"mhm!! need to come, please wrio, need to come so bad-!"

he smirks and it's mischievous yet alluring, and it stirs something deep within you - almost a fear that he will not give you what you oh so desperately want.

"work for it, then." he simply says, in one swift motion turning you around so that you were on top, seated snuggly on his painfully hard dick.

your eyes widen as he manhandles you into a cowgirl position, his hands still bruising your hips.

"noooo" you whine, unhappy that you'll have to do all the work as he simply gets to lay back and enjoy!

"please! i can't, i don't want to, i want- mph, i just want- ohh!" you whined and begged but to no avail. his rough palms once again met your ass, giving it a spank. it hurt, but the sting of it felt so good.

"the only way you're getting anything is to do as i say, doll. now, why don't you move those pretty hips if you wanna come so badly?"

another spank, making you hiss out in pain. the demon sitting across from the both of you immediately reacted, unsure whether he could take any more of looking at you being hurt for wrio’s and alhaitham's selfish pleasure.

"hey, hey, dude! don't be sucha' asshole! i told ya', she needs to be loved on more, yeah? yeahhh, look at that pretty, fucked out face! like yeah, sure, she's bein' just a tiny bit bratty, but c'mon, other ways to solve that exist, bro! i mean, how can you deny when a woman as gorgeous and sexy as her begs you to make her cum?! simple answer - ya’ don’t! you do as she says! every idiot knows that!"

you blush at the oni's words, a warmth wrapping around you. he was so sweet, and the sight of his big palm roughly squeezing his impossibly large dick was even sweeter.

"let him do what he wishes, itto" alhaitham snarls, gently stroking himself, in contrast with his demon friend whose hand was moving up and down his shaft fast. "I understand that she’s your girlfriend, but she's on his lap, after all"

the oni grunted in defeated, mumbling something about how "it wasn't fair that it wasn't his turn yet" and "girls like you can't be treated so harshly" as he sat back down. with zhongli leaving for the baths to properly clean his skin of mixed slick, there were only three of them fucking you now. which meant itto could get his hands on you all the faster.

meanwhile, you start grinding yourself on wrio's lap, desperately trying to bounce on his cock but you can't. you're so close to your high that your pussy is greedily squeezing wrio in, and his impossible girth mixed with your neediness isn't letting you move at all. in attempt to get any pleasure, you start moving in circles, clamping down on him with every move.

"holy fuck..." wriothesley sighs, throwing his head back. the way your cunt spasmed around him made him just a little closer to his release, and his hips started bucking into yours. archons, he needed to finish so badly...

three more bucks into you and he came, shutting his eyes tight and letting all of his cum release into your more than willing womb. that put you over the edge, falling on him from exhaustion.

you couldn't even rest for a second more, a pair of arms not belonging to the duke of criminals pulling you off his body.

"that's enough" the scribe announced as he pulled your still-sensitive body in his hold, "it's my turn with her".

"fuck off!" wrio cussed at his friend, grabbing a hold of you. "who said i was done?"

"when did i ask if you were done?" alhaitham commented, snatching you away from the fontainian's arms. itto tried to resolve things:

"hey, hey, dudes, let's not fight, yeah? no need to! we'll just let her decide, alright?" the two men fighting over you grumbled to themselves in a displeased manner, but ultimately agreed that it was fair and right for you to decide.

"so, whaddya' say, baby? who do you want in between those pretty, sexy legs?"

you thought for a moment, looking between the three men, all impossibly hard and longing for you.

"it's 'haitham's turn..." you say quietly, earning a big smirk from the sumeru man. he pulls you to him, rather excited that he was the one you chose.

"but" you announce as you're pulled in alhaithams arms, "it's not fair to the rest of you guys..." itto's patience ran thin as he sat back down, angrily fucking his fist in quick, desperate motions. why’d he ever have to allow his friends to fuck you like this?

"fuck, love bug, fine... 'ts okay, i'll..." he had to gulp down his spit to be able to say this, unsure if he was even correctly hearing the words that were coming out of his mouth.

"i'll let them do ya', sweets. a deal’s a deal"

when itto made that stupid bet with his more-than-willing friends and put a night with you on the line, he certainly didn’t expect that he’d be the one sitting it out. he was your boyfriend, for Inazuma’s sake, he should be the one buried in you, not the one jerking off the entire night because he can’t get to you!

even though it was ripping his heart apart, itto thought it was right to ignore his selfish needs and let the two of them go first. you were their prize, after all, and arataki itto was nothing if not an honest man who kept his word. that was one of the qualities he had promised grandma oni to keep, and he certainly wasn’t letting up now.

"but itto... that's so unfair to you.. i can see that you're hurting pretty bad..."

his dick was weeping for your attention. somehow, no matter how hard he tried, jerking off didn't go anywhere, always leading him to a place of very precum-sticky hands and no orgasms.

still, he brushed it off, waving his hand in a shoo-ing manner.

"no sweat, baby. i can wait a lil' longer, yeah? you just say there and be good for my pals, hm? hey, i tried to stop 'em, but if you go overboard they are really gonna punish you, baby, and they won't be as nice as me!"

oh, nobody was as nice as him. his words laced with adoration for your body, desperation for your warmth and thirst for your touch drove you insane. no matter how much you'd like having two gorgeous men as alhaitham and wrio fucking you, your mind still couldn't get over the fact that this sweet demon just went against all of his primal urges, just so you'd be able to be with who you want for the night and so his friends get completely satisfied.

"and what if she can't go on after this, itto? i stopped counting her orgasms after six, and she has come quite a few times since then..." alhaitham asked, worried for his demon friend and the fact that he might be left with blue balls and an excruciatingly painful dick.

itto growled low, shutting his eyes. fuck, this whole situation was unfair and it hurt. both physically and emotionally. itto was the one who wanted you the most, who loved you the most, why'd he have to suffer with not getting you at all?!

"if her pretty pussy really can't take any more after us, she'll be good and help arataki at least with some nice head, yeah?" you nodd feverishly at wrio’s question. you'd do anything to help your generous and selfless boyfriend feel good.

thirty minutes later, your legs were far apart, making enough space for the two men to both fuck your greedy whole.

"shit! so tight, fuck!" the scribe's and wrio's moans about how good you felt certainly felt like salt in the wound for arataki. he sat a little from you with a pout on his face, his slowly-softening dick laid in his palm as he watched you take the two of them, at the same time.

"hah-ah! mphhr.. itto..? why don't you- ah! mmm, wrio! tham! why don't you help yourself, at least a little bit? ooh~" you asked through a wrecked moan, feeling immensely guilty for leaving your love hanging.

"i'm good, baby" he muttered, a displeased look on his face, "can't come if it's not in you, anyway"

those words shoot you right through the heart, melting your insides completely and you come hard, milking the two men inside you. they both quickly follow your lead, spurting ropes of white inside you and stuffing you fully.

the two of them removed themselves from your body, leaving you shivering and full, spread out on the bed. Itto noticed your fucked-out expression, chuckling to himself.

“hah, feels good, doesn’t it, sweets? did ya’ say thanks to my pals for fillin’ you up, hm?”

you turn your head over to where alhaitham and wriothesley rested, giving them a soft smile. you mouth a meek “thank you”, too tired to even speak.

“let’s get ya’ all cleaned up-” your boyfriend starts to get up to go to the bathroom, yet your words make him stop instantly.

“itto” you moan, as if there was nothing else for you in this world but him, “i-itto”

he turns around to look at you, an amused and a little shocked smile on his face. “that’s me, love bug, the one and oni! whatdya need?”

you look at him through your thick eyelashes, a gleam of lust in your eyes. 

“need you” you whimper, “really really really need you”

with those words, he’s immediately on you, nestling himself between your plushy thighs.

“awwww, there’s my pretty girl!” he exclaims excitedly, his palms on each side of your head as he presses kisses all over you. “i’m here, baby, i’m here. i gotcha.”

oh, no matter how good any of his friends felt, itto will forever be your favorite. not only because intercourse with him is pure love-making, filled with adoration and love you have for each other, but also because itto fucked like the big, beefy demon he is - rough and fast.

“ohhh… itto-oh..” you moaned as he slowly eased his tip inside your gaping hole, trying not to be overly rough right out of the gate - but he can’t, there’s no way after he’s been edging himself for hours. his hips snap into yours and he bottoms out in you, making you scream out in ecstasy.

you were amused by it all, really. just ten minutes ago you were taking two above-average cocks inside and doing just fine, and now you’re struggling to take your boyfriend’s cock? itto laughed at how you struggled, soothing your sides gently.

“aww, sweets, still so tight? three dicks haven’t loosened you f’ me, baby?” you whine in embarrassment, arms locking around your boyfriend’s large neck. your pussy pulsated and spasmed around him, sore muscles trying to accommodate his enormous size.

he started moving slightly, rocking into you with gentleness and warmth. itto pressed loving, eager kisses trailing all the way from your eyelids to your collarbone, trying to get you to rest and enjoy after hours worth of rough sex. 

three minutes of him moving and you were already seeing stars. Itto was so big, so thick and deliciously long, that just his shallow thrusts could hit all the right spots in you. he hissed as you clamped down on him again:

“shit, love bug, easy there, baby! already milking me, fuck! don’t ya’ do that, sweets, or i won’t be able to control myself, ‘kay?”

he groaned into your ear, warming you with the weight of his large, warm body on top of yours. even though he warned you not to, you couldn’t help but tighten on him and whimper for more. his thrusts changed their pace from slow and loving to erratic and careless, fucking into you like all he wanted was to breed you full.

“ahhh… mhh.. none of them could fill ya’ like i can, baby… yeah? and none of them could make you feel good, hm? this pretty little cunt needs me to fill her up, yeah? breed her nice and good, like no one ever before, right? mphh.. like no one ever will.. mine, sweets, all of this is just f’ me..” he groaned into your ear as he fucked you, his big palms sliding down to your ass and giving you a light squeeze.

suddenly, you clamp down on him hard, making him lose his composure. his hips stutter and his eyes roll to the back of his head as he finally reaches his high after a whole evening of torture, burying himself as far deep as possible and draining those pretty balls inside you. it felt so good - and you knew it did, by the small tears of pleasure in the corners of his eyes.

he stuffed you so full that you were sure it would make your stomach bulge, it had to! your boyfriend fell on you once he came, nuzzling his face in your skin. after a few minutes of deep breaths and cuddling, itto sat up:

“wanna go get cleaned, love bug? I dunno about you, but I wouldn’t wanna sleep bein’ this sticky!”

you smirk mischievously, putting a gentle hand on his meaty, exposed tigh. instead of getting up like he had asked, you slide down to your knees, in between his legs.

“what… what are you doing, baby?”

you paw at his cock once again, beginning to harden in your hand once again.

“mh… wanna say sorry for makin’ you wait, itto… wanna be good…”

and good you were, giving him all the attention he missed earlier that evening.

[lvndrdaaze]

Diluc NSFW Alphabet - B, E, M

No one requested this but my husband's birthday is coming up and I wanted to write for him so I did ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I'm accepting requests for NSFW or SFW alphabet hcs for Genshin men, pls drop me an ask if you'd like to <3

(fem!reader, NSFW so no minors allowed!)

B= Body part (favourite body part their own or their lovers)

Diluc had never been all that bothered by people's body parts before meeting you, but now, he's obsessed with your tits. And he's very bad at hiding it too, much to his own chagrin. Whether big or small, it doesn't matter to him. His eyes are drawn instinctively to the slight peek of cleavage revealed above your neckline when you lean over the bar at Angel's Share, and his entire face flushes a deep pink that has both you and Kaeya grinning. He adores the way they feel in his hands, so soft and pliant against his calloused palms, and he loves the noises you make when he plays with them. His favourite thing is taking a nipple into his mouth, swirling his hot tongue around the bud hungrily whilst he listens to the whimpers you let out.

On himself, Diluc is far too humble to pick a favourite part of his body, but if he were forced to choose, he'd say his shoulders. He loves the way you cling onto them whilst riding him, your nails leaving marks in the muscles as your hips rise and fall sloppily in his lap, or the way you bite down on them while he folds your body in half and pounds his cock into your wetness.

E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)

Before dating you, Diluc was a virgin. He's been so busy practically his entire life, first with the Knights, then in Snezhnaya, and then with all of his responsibilities back in Mondstadt. Most nights, he doesn't have time to sleep more than a couple of hours, let alone share his bed with someone else. Plus, hardly anyone has gotten close enough to him for sleeping together to be a realistic possibility. However, this doesn't mean he's totally clueless about sex. Working as a bartender every night means he has heard enough drunken stories to provide him with some helpful tips on how to pleasure you.

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)

For Diluc, it's the emotion and intimacy of the scenario that gets him going more than anything else. When he can feel the adoration in your gaze even from across the room, when it's quiet and you're smiling at him and he feels more content than he has in years- those are the moments that he feels he has to have you. He fully gives himself to you in those moments, bury himself in you for as long as you'll allow, to turn the unfamiliar fluttering in his chest into raw pleasure for the both of you to share. All of this isn't to say that Diluc can't be provoked into getting hard with a carefully planned lean over the bar or an even vaguely suggestive quip thrown in his direction, but those are reactions borne out of want; where emotions are involved it translates into need, and turns Diluc from a stoic businessman into a desperate, almost animalistic lover.

Feel free to request more NSFW/SFW alphabet headcanons! More info in my pinned post ^-^

[loving-august]

๑𓈒 ' . 𑇛 I'D STILL CHOOSE YOU.

PAIRINGS. diluc ragnvindr x fem! reader

SYNOPSIS. in which diluc notices your worries about the people around you.

GENRE. angst to fluff hurt/comfort

WC. 1.05k!!

WARNINGS. none, slight profanity, insecurity, gossips, bodyshaming

NOTES. hello! this fic will be new expansion to my fandoms hehe I hope you guys will like it just as much I enjoyed writing this fic. blame diluc bc of him I made a decision to create for genshin characters smh /j + reblogs are highly appreciated!

LINKS. navigaion | genshin impact masterlist | taglist form

๑𓈒 ' . 𑇛 REBLOGS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED!

Being the richest bachelor in mondstat, Diluc is expected to do what nobles do. The way he greets, acts, and accomplishes every job perfectly. He received a vision at the age of 10 and became the youngest captain in the knights of favonius at the age of 14. Of course, he is now just a mere businessman taking care of the winery in the morning or protecting the entire mondstat at night time. His past is yet to be told.

Rich parents of noble women across nations often visit him in hopes to have their daughter as the groom. Yet, he refuses to tell them as he tells them that he has no sole interest in having a relationship with any women. Or so he thought.

You happened to see him in his dark knight duties one fateful evening. You were ambushed by hillichurls while you were on your way to the outskirts of mondstat, your home. You came out from work a bit too late than usual.

You accidentally punched him as you thought it was some treasure hoarder coming at you. You apologised so sincerely that it wasn't some bad guy.

"Master diluc?" You asked.

Shit. He cursed himself.

"Than-"

"Don't say a word about this." He sternly said. And you did.

You scratched your neck awkwardly, "I will. Thank you again!" You walked away from him. To be honest he was scary earlier, barbatos how could this happen to me?

Little did you both know, a certain bard was witnessing the scene. A playful smirk grew into his face. "Huh, may the wind guide each other." He whispered. It's a rare scene to see Diluc in this kind of situation. Maybe the dear archon barbatos, also known as venti would be part of playing cupid.

A time has passed since your first encounter with Diluc, Venti's cupid duties came into reality. He was very happy for you and Diluc and he even played a small tune for the two of you. As much as Diluc appreciated the gesture, he would not change the way he treats venti in his tavern due to his wine addiction. As well as Kaeya, the wonder duo never fails to give Diluc a headache.

Soon enough, you opened your eyes to the noble world. There is a lot of catching up to do. All the stereotypes were shown on to you, the mannerisms on talking, acting, and greetings to fellow nobles. It was hard. As someone like you had no experience on such acts.

You found yourself in your shared rooms with your lover. With your eyes all puffy and red due to crying. You couldn't take it anymore.

"How can Master Diluc find someone so…common.."

"I expected him to choose a noblewoman from liyue."

The voices of other people in mondstat broke your heart. To hear such a thing about Diluc, you felt responsible. Instead of making him happy by his side, you could only be giving him a bad name by just existing beside him.

It felt so wrong.

What you didn’t was that you fell asleep on the vanity where you cried yourself with dried tears on your cheeks.

Diluc just recently returned home from his darknight duties. You were completely aware of his schedule as if its the back of your palm. Why would you know all about it? Of course diluc would tell you things about him, he’s that devoted to you. Adeline, the head maid of the manor, greeted the master of the manor. “Good evening Master Diluc.”

“Good evening to you too,” Diluc greeted back.

He went straight to your shared rooms, not giving any mind of eating for tonight. He was busy eliminating abyss mages around mondstat. When he opened the door, first he saw you sleeping uncomfortably on the vanity table. He immediately removed his coat and placed it on some chair and carried you carefully. Making sure that you were not awake. How long have you been asleep? Your neck is probably sore because of the restricted sleeping position you were in.

He sighed as he saw you still in your morning clothes. He can’t imagine wearing all the heavy clothing from daylight to night time. That's why you've woken up? "Did I wake you up darling?" He asked.

you got up and he followed. "No, you didn't. I just felt my position changed." You groggily replied while rubbing your eyes.

Diluc was observing you. He noticed that you were secretly wiping off the direct tears on your face while pretending to rub your eyes after you had just woken up from a long slumber.

He was worried. Maybe he has been busy lately since he has a wine business to attend to. Not only the wine business but also his secret duties at night time at mondstat. The abyss order has been showing up lately.

"y/n, can I ask you a question?" He started. You looked at your hands, not looking at his worried eyes laid upon you. "uh, sure. What are you trying to ask?" You replied.

Something is not sitting right. The way you said it was as if you changed your sentence and the way you speak. this is not the y/n he used to talk to. A hint of guilt punched at diluc. He HAS been busy. He should reschedule his time for you after this. He felt accountable for your well-being, since he was the one who asked you to live with him and as his lover, it is his duty to take care of you.

"Is something bothering you lately?" He asked. There, he asked for it. Although he expects you to lie to him. You can't lie to him after all.

"No, nothing's wrong dearest, I'm just tired..that's all," you answered and gave him a small smile.

Diluc uses his thumb to wipe off rye excess tears from your face, "No you're not. It breaks my heart whenever you lie to me. Tell me the truth my love, whatever you say is valid, after all it made you feel this way," He slowly opened his arms for you to be able to rest on his chest while wrapping his arms around you, "if you feel like I'm slipping away from you, don't worry."

"I'd still choose you."

© 2022 loving-august. All Rights Reserved. Do not repost. Do not plagiarize. Do not share on other platforms. Will get slapped if u do.

[musings-ofthe-unamused]

In the Depths of the Ocean (Genshin Impact

Pairing: Osial x GN!Reader

Wordcount: 4.2k

Warnings: NSFW, tentacles, boat sex

A/N: I wrote this years ago for some Genshin friends so... have it as a treat as I work up some other fanfics for y'all

The giveaway is ongoing until October 15th! All you have to do is like, and you'll be entered!

The ocean was dark and cruel. It was never your favorite, despite you living near the harbor. It was always a fear of yours to set off in a boat only to be swallowed whole by aegean waves. Funnily enough, you came from a family of fishermen. Well, your father was a fisherman and your mother was a merchant. As a child, you would sit on the edge of the dock waiting for your father to come back. Every day, without fail, he would appear on the horizon, waving his arm and shouting your name. Every single day.

Except for today.

“He won’t come back,” Your mother was despondent, sitting by the window and looking at the calming sunset. “He’s with the ocean now.”

“Of course mother. I made some dinner, so please eat, ok? I have to go out for a bit”

Your mother didn’t move. It had been like this for a week. It was her way of mourning her husband. But you didn’t want to mourn. You didn’t need to. Your father was out there and you were going to find him. It was a terrible plan, sailing out to sea when you haven’t done so before. But you refused to do anything else. It was time to get over your fear.

There wasn’t much to take with you. A bag haphazardly filled with food and a large jug of water was all you needed. There was some gut feeling inside of you leading you to believe that he wasn’t so far from Liyue. You kissed Mother’s head, reminding her once again of the dinner you made. The door was light as you swung it shut, your body heavy as you trudged towards the docks. Not many people were milling about, only the Millelth and three or four fisherman coming back from sea. The weather was clear, clearer than it had been for a whole week. The air was crisp. A nice strong breeze blew through your hair. 

As you made your way to the edge of the docks where the boats were stationed, you spotted a lone man checking the ropes on a small boat. You sighed slightly. If you were going to get another lecture, you’d rather ask someone else for help. But he was the only option at the moment. The only cheap option. You dropped the sack and jug into the boat, making it sway. The older man straightened, looking at you with unease as he held his hand out to you.

“If you could not haphazardly throw things about, that would be very kind of you.”

“You’re strong enough to keep yourself steady,” You grabbed his hand. “You are a Qixing after all, Uncle Tian.”

He laughed heartily as you stepped into the boat. His hand was strong and calloused. Like Father’s. Your brow furrowed as you took a deep breath, preparing yourself. Did you know how to work a boat? No. Did you know how to navigate? No. Were you hopeless when it came to directions and often got lost? Yes. None of this would stop you. If Rex Lapis was kind and if he cared about the people of Liyue as much as that was preached, then he would lead you to your father. No fear was strong enough to the fear of losing someone you loved.

“The stars are bright. You won’t have trouble losing your way since you’re good at that...right?” 

“Sure, sure.” You frowned and turned towards him, crossing your arms.

“What?”

Uncle Tian was a mentor to your father and eventually became an honorary part of the family. He wasn’t as heartbroken when your father disappeared. You couldn’t tell if it was due to losing people in his long lifetime, or the hardened heart of a businessman. It made you bitter, either way. You were just ready to leave.

“Ok, this old man can take a hint. Just… be careful.”

“I will, Uncle Tian.

“I’ll keep an eye on your mother,” He said as he got off the boat. 

“Thank you.”

Without another word, he pushed you off to sea. You sat down slowly, grasping the paddle in your hand. You couldn’t watch the harbor grow small behind you. It would be a sign that you were leaving forever. And you weren’t. You and your father would make it back safe and sound. The shaking in your hands stopped as you dipped the paddle into water. It moved languidly as you pushed through it, from side to side. Uncle Tian was right. The stars were awfully bright tonight. You sang a song quietly as you kept paddling. It was best to keep your mind distracted.

After a good thirty minutes, you stopped paddling to rest. Your breath was the only thing you could hear. You were far enough out from land where you couldn’t hear a single wave. The waters were calm and inviting. There was no light except for the stars glowing down onto you. It was peaceful. You leaned over the side of the boat. The waters were too dark to see. Although, you weren’t sure what you were looking for in the first place.

“Hmmm, what do we have here?” A voice so deep it made your body crumble to the ground disturbed the once calm waters.

Luminescent blue slowly flowed from the darkness. It was dull at first, growing brighter from the darkness. You’ve heard of bioluminescent creatures in the ocean, but these looked like giant tentacles. It grew so bright it was piercing your eyes as you shut them incredulously. You felt something underneath your chin, tilting it up. It was warm yet felt like air itself. Were you hallucinating?

“Open your eyes.” 

You did as you were told. It was…a man? No, it wasn’t. It looked human, but it transcended any conceived thought of what you knew humans to be. Their navy blue eyes stared into yours. Their hair was light blue, flowing behind them as if it had a life of its own. Their clothes were..your eyes grew wide as you realized they were barely wearing any clothes. Only a pair of plain looking shorts. 

“Who…who are you?” A small voice, your small voice spiked almost involuntarily. 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” They leaned in close, their nose brushing yours. “You’re in my waters, after all.”

“Your...waters?”

“Ha!” Their laugh shook the boat. “Have they not taught you anything? Do you not recognize what is before you?”

“I..I don’t-”

The person melted into a puddle of water, seeping through unseen cracks in the boat. The blue light appeared again as the waters grew rough, rocking the boat. You clung desperately to the side. Then you saw it. Rising from the water were five heads connected to an unseen body in the waters. Your heart pounded as you realized just what you were looking at. A head slithered down, facing you directly. Fear shook your body but curiosity made you lean forward, caressing the head gently with your hand. 

“You’re...Osial?”

“So you have heard of me.” They spoke once again, seemingly inside your head.

“Of course I have but I was under the impression you were sealed away.”

Water crashed down on you as Osial once again changed forms. They were back into the human-like entity, your hand still on their head. Osial was smiling, nuzzling their head into your hand. You shivered realizing you were now soaking wet, in the middle of the ocean, with a supposedly sealed away god on your boat. 

“I am sealed away,” Osial spoke after a second, grabbing your hand off their head. “But I have just enough power to briefly appear in my hydra form. Or, appear in this human form for longer.”

“Humans don’t really have tentacles for hair.” You giggled.

“They don’t? I guess I’m special then.”

You jumped slightly as he wrapped his arms around you. Your eyes closed and you wrapped your arms around them. It wasn’t until they became scalding hot that you pushed yourself away in surprise. What were you doing? You were supposed to be looking for your father, cuddling up to an ancient and evil god.

“What are you doing?” You hissed, touching your now red skin. “That hurt!”

“You were cold and wet. So I tried warming you up.”

“Why would you-” You took a slow, deep, breath. “I don’t have time for this.”

“Are you looking for something?” Osial tilted their head. 

“Yes. My father.” You turned from the god. “He got lost at sea last week.”

“I can help you.”

“You can?!” You whirled around. 

“For a price.”

The corners of their lips curled up into an almost sinister smile. Another shiver was sent down your spine as you realized what you were up against. You didn’t know their plans or motives. Nor did you know if they would ensure your father’s safety if you were to find him. Then again, you were desperate enough to do anything. 

“Will you swear not to harm him and bring him home safe and sound?”

“I promise.”

“Then…I want to form a contract.” You nodded, sitting on the bench of the boat. 

“Ah, my least favorite word,” Osial sat next to you. “But we are in his land after all. What are your terms?”

“First of all, like I mentioned, no harm to my father. I also want you to not tell him who you are. He’s…quite the devoted follower of Rex Lapis.”

“Go on,” They sneered slightly at the mention of the God of Contracts.

“I also don’t want to die. As in…don’t take my soul or something in exchange for my father’s safe return. Finally, I want to forget this exchange after all is done.”

“Oh? And why is that?”

“I don’t think I can sleep soundly knowing an ancient evil god is still conscious is probably plotting the demise of the man who built my home. Haha…Anyway! Any objections?”

“It sounds perfect to me.” They grinned. 

“Then…what do you want me to do? And your terms?” You swallowed thickly. 

“I want you to lay with me.”

“Like…on the deck of the boat? It’s kinda shaky, but the rocking might be ni- oh. Oh.”

Your face flushed immensely as you realized the weight of their words. Osial wants you to lay with them. You pinched yourself, hard, hoping this was some sort of dream. It wasn’t. When you said you’d do anything for your father, you weren’t expecting this. At all. If anything, you were expecting him to give you the current whereabouts of Rex Lapis or at least find a way to break the seal that currently held him (mostly) captive. 

“I have needs. And being locked away for centuries upon centuries…” They paused, then leaned in and nipped at your ear. “I’m hungry.”

“I-I-”

Hungry. The word itself held a banal meaning for you, never once being a thing so serious. In that you were lucky, grateful. You were not dense enough to not realize the true meaning of the god’s words. It was the first time someone had spoken of you in this nature. If you were being quite honest, it flustered you. Romance was never a thing on your mind, and you were sure that this had absolutely nothing to do with romance in the first place...but it was always associated with it. You took a deep breath, pulling away from them.

“Listen, uh...?”

“Just Osial is fine.”

“Ok, Just Osial. Look, I'm not sure I can do this. I mean I’ve never done,” You motioned wildly with your hands. “Anything of that nature. Do you...do you even need to do this?”

“No,” They shrugged. “But I want to. Before that nuisance struck me down, life was all pleasure and power. And oh how I’ve missed the pleasure.”

“What about the power?”

“All in due time, my flower. Now, do you accept the contract? I promise I’ll be gentle. I’m sure you’ll be begging for more anyhow.”

They held out their hand, a smirk on their face. Of course this was a stupid idea. There was no working around that. Any doubt that you had consumed your stomach, twisting and turning it upside down filling you with nausea - it had to be pushed down and forgotten. It will be forgotten. This whole incident. It wouldn’t be as bad if you can’t remember? Right? You took their hand gingerly, shaking it once.

With a gentle pull, Osial’s lips found yours almost immediately. They truly wasted no time in rediscovering how it felt to touch a human body. When Osial said life was pleasure and power, they meant it. Practiced hands traveled all along your body, playfully biting at your bottom lip. They reveled in the way that a simple kiss on the soft skin of your neck had drawn out a quiet moan. Osial was skilled in everything they did. Proud with getting an immediate reaction, they bit down on your skin.

“Ah…” You sighed, tilting your neck to give them more room. “Slow…slow down.”

“Hmm? It seems you’re enjoying yourself,” They murmured. “Are you sure you want me to slow down?”

You said nothing and instead closed your eyes. There was something in the way they spoke, a fire igniting in your lower stomach as they left wet trails of kisses down your neck. Osial smirked, knowing exactly what was happening. Of course, as a god, they had full confidence that their skills were enough to get the job done and more. But what’s a little aphrodisiac to get you in the mood? Their hands gripped the edge of your shirt, pulling it over your head. The cool wind nipped at your skin and you involuntarily leaned towards Osial for warmth. They chuckled and kissed down your skin, making sure to leave no inch of you unmarked.

“Os...Osial,” You murmured, your hands weaving through their hair. “What did you do?”

“Oh? Figured it out already? Just wanted to make this a little more fun.”

You didn’t protest. You couldn’t. The aphrodisiac wasted no time, making your body overheat, every touch amplified. Osial's lips found purchase around your nipples, sucking and biting. You mewled softly, arching your back as you pulled him closer. Their hands wrapped around you and he gently laid you down on the deck of the boat. Osial straightened, staring down at your body with greed. Your cheeks were flushed, your eyes watery and glazed over as you squirmed at the sudden absence of touch. Glowing blue tentacles sprouted from Osial’s back. Your eyes widened. 

“Don’t look scared now, my flower,” They pulled down your pants and underwear. “I promise I’ll fulfill our contract in no time.”

Four tentacles wrapped themselves around both your arms and legs, spreading you out all for Osial. They leaned forward, kissing you with more passion than the first. It was a sort of distraction as another tentacle curled around your waist to hold you steady. A sticky essence dripped from every tentacle, covering your center in an aphrodisiac lube. Osial slowly thrust their hips forward, entering you slowly. The sensation made you throw your head back with blinding pleasure. Osial let out a low groan as they bottomed out.

“Ah...hahahaha, fuck-” Osial laughed, their voice melting into a moan. “It’s been so long.”

They started to slowly and deeply thrust into you. You could feel everything from their tentacles pulsing around you to the ribbed feeling pumping in and out of you. Osial stretched you out to your limits, moaning as their pace sped up. One of their hands traveled down your torso and you let out another moan as they added another level of pleasure.

“Do you wish to forget me now?” They murmured, their other hand gently caressing your face. 

“No, please I-“ Your whines were pathetic but oh so delicious to the god’s ears. “I need more.”

“Oh? But we wouldn’t want to break the contract. Then your beloved Rex Lapis will know. He’ll know that his loyal subject prefers getting violated, filled, pleasured by an enemy of Liyue. Do you want that?”

With every word, you felt the cooling slither of tentacles around your body. Every square inch was covered in Osial’s essence. If anyone had witnessed this, you would be called a heretic, a traitor to Liyue and its history. But fuck that. With every hard thrust inside of you, your body squirming to get closer and closer to them, your mind lost all sense of self. You wanted this. You wanted Osial. You wanted more. 

“No, no, I want you,” You whined. “Give me more Osial, please.”

Osial let out a loud and boisterous laugh. With one more thrust, a tentacle joined inside of you. Your mouth opened in a silent scream. You felt full. If it weren’t for the amount of aphrodisiacs flowing through your body, it would have been painful. Instead it felt dull and overwhelming. A knot formed in your stomach as Osial lost all control of their sanity. Being locked away for centuries did terrible wonders on the psyche. Osial wasn’t known for keeping their cool, but in this instance, they would do anything to chase a pleasure that has been taken from them. The two tentacles holding your legs open unwrapped from you. One wrapped around your neck, the other forcing its way into your mouth. You choked around it, your eyes rolling in the back of your head. Osial’s eyes glowed, loving the way you struggled to moan against the tentacle. They tightened their grip around your neck just enough to amplify the pleasure. Your body started to shake.

“Hmm? Are you getting close?” Osial grinned. “Ha...Hold out for just a little longer, dear.”

Your legs were propped up on their shoulders, allowing Osial to hit the very spot that drove you crazy. Their breath stuttered, their thrusts growing sloppy. It took everything in you to hold back the orgasm that was itching to be free. Osial took the tentacle from your mouth. Their hand gripped your face, moving it so you were staring directly at them. They wanted to see how much pleasure they gave you, how your mind was on them and only them.

“Come on then, darling,” They hissed. “Show me how much you love this.”

With a final thrust, both you and Osial reached your climax. You felt them release into both your mouth and down in your core. Osial groaned, pulling out of you and closing their eyes. You spit out all the extra essence and your body went limp. Osial’s tentacles wrapped around you again, pulling you to their chest. Everything was silent save from the panting coming from both of you. The tentacles retracted themselves and Osial held you in their own arms, nuzzling against you. 

As you rested, your body and mind were cleared of the fog. Every muscle felt weak and sore, not to mention your throat. Did you regret this? That remains to be seen. You haven’t felt that much pleasure ever. It was overwhelming. You glanced at Osial. They were hugging you tightly as if they didn’t want to let go.It could be written off as post coital bliss, but you actually wanted to stay with them a little longer. 

“So…” You sighed. “We did that.”

“We did.”

“Uhm…”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“I refuse to answer.” You pouted.

“Embarrassed, are we?” They bit at your neck. “How about we go one more round then? To make sure that you enjoyed it. I wouldn’t mind hearing my name fall from your lips like a prayer.”

“That’s enough,” You pushed them away and sat up. “Is our contract fulfilled?”

Osial said nothing. If you blinked, you would have missed the disappointment that flashed in their eyes. The waters around you rocked the boat gently, and you scooted closer to them. They must have felt lonely. Being locked away for so long without contact with anyone. If you were naive (more than you are now), you would have felt bad for the god. But you weren’t. And this was a contract, nothing more. Contracts were not meant to be broken. You were in Rex Lapis’s land after all. 

“Our contract is fulfilled.” Osial stood. “You should rest now. Taking memories takes a toll. Not as much as our activity just did.”

“Thank you for helping me find my father.”

“If you ever wish to keep me company, my waters are always open to you.”

“Of course, Osial.”

Your voice was sickeningly sweet. It was painful. They wanted to hear their name over and over, feel your body crave them. Fate was cruel, and Morax was even crueler. Had it not been for him, maybe Osial wouldn’t be feeling such pathetic emotions. Jealousy, wanting, possessiveness. It was just one night yet they underestimated how much they would enjoy it. With a wave of their hand, you slowly fell onto your side in a peaceful sleep. Osial dressed you all back up, making sure you were comfortable. Small blue particles that looked like fireflies surrounded your sleeping face. It was done. Osial was nothing more than a terrible tall tale.

•••

“Hey, kiddo, wake up!”

“What the fuck?” You quickly sat up looking around.

“Thank god!!”

You squinted, the bright light of the sun blinding you. Waves crashed against the sand as you took a look around. Sand. Sand? Your hands dug into it, the cool feeling of it slipping through your fingers waking you up. Weren’t you out at sea looking for your father? Father. You gasped and stood, shakily taking a step with your groggy body. You had to find him. You had to go back and find him.

“Woah, woah, hold up! Take a step back, kiddo.”

Kiddo. You finally looked at who was grabbing your shoulders. It was him. It was your father. You let out a sob and hugged him tightly, refusing to let go. He was here and he was alive. You would be damned if you let him out of your sight again. He chuckled softly, his voice cracking as he rubbed your back. You could tell he had gone through a rough journey by the way his hands shook. You pulled away slightly.

“I thought you’d never come back!”

“Here I am,” Father tilted his head. “It’s odd...I don’t really remember going out to sea. Nor do I remember crashing.”

“Really?”

“I found both of you here on the beach,” You turned to see Uncle Tian crossing his arms. “A bunch of trouble, the lot of ya.”

“Thank you, Uncle Tian.” You smiled.

“Thank you? I should’ve never let you go alone! This could have all been avoided.” He huffed. 

“Are you telling me my child, the one with the fear of the ocean, went out there all by themself?”

“Of course I did!’ You shook his shoulders. “You disappeared!! I had to find you! Do you know how despondent Mother is? Don’t ever do that again!”

You hugged him again. It was quite a tearful sight. Tian watched with loving eyes. There was nothing like a family being reunited. Something ate at him though. He wasn’t sure if he should bring it up, but curiosity killed the cat. With an awkward cough he stepped forward. You and your father both glanced at him. Tian’s face contorted slightly but then he finally spoke up.

“So, uhh...Do you remember anything? From after you sailed off?”

“Yeah! I remember going pretty far out. It was pretty cold but the water was quiet. Then I saw this...I saw...there was…” You trailed off. 

A piercing pain exploded in the middle of your head. You doubled over. How could you not remember? Everything was so clear in your mind up to the point of you stopping in the middle of the ocean. Father wrapped his arm around you. You slowly straightened, your brows furrowed. You had a nagging feeling that you should remember.

“Sorry I-...I must be dehydrated. Why do you ask?” 

“You were muttering in your sleep and you have odd bruises all over you. It also looks like you were bound.”

“Muttering?” Your father asked.

“Something about...a contract?” “Must’ve been a weird dream!” You suddenly spoke up, forcing out a laugh. “I do that sometimes...We should go get some rest now, right Father?”

“Right…” He shared a glance with Tian. “We should get going. Thank you for everything, Tian.”

“No problem. You all take care now.”

The two of you walked off, waving goodbye. Your father was relatively unscathed besides a few cuts here and there. You, however, were covered in dark red and purple bruises. Your wrists were red and you felt as if your throat was on fire. Something had happened out there. Flashes of blue painfully crossed through your mind whenever you tried to think about it. Whatever it was, you weren’t supposed to remember.

Father held onto your hand, forcing you out of your stupor. His smile brought you back to Teyvat. Maybe you didn’t have to remember. All that mattered now was that your father was here and alive. Your family was whole again. For now, you could ignore the voice in the back of your mind calling you back to the ocean. 

[virtuesdagger]

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead, murdered by my brother-in-law Douglas Ass. Doug has been building a meth empire for over a year now and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, Doug came to me with a rather, shocking proposition. He asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using his connections in the Final Fantasy XIV ™ drug world. Connections that he made through his career with the Californian Government. I was... astounded, I... I always thought that Doug was a very moral man and I was... thrown, confused, but I was also particularly vulnerable at the time, something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a Genshin Impact addiction that was poised to bankrupt my family. Doug took me on a ride along, and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin so I agreed. Every day, I think back at that moment with regret. I quickly realized that I was in way over my head, and Doug had a partner, a man named Gustavo Fring, a businessman. Doug essentially sold me into servitude to this man, and when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Doug and Fring had a falling out. From what I can gather, Doug was always pushing for a greater share of California, to which Fring flatly refused to give him, and things escalated. Fring was able to arrange, uh I guess I guess you call it a "hit" on my brother-in-law, and failed, but Doug was seriously injured, and I wound up paying his medical bills which amounted to a little over $177,000000000000000. Upon recovery, Doug was bent on revenge, working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring, and did so. In fact, the bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Doug had risen in the ranks to become the head of California, and about that time, to keep me in line, he took my Genshin Impact login info from me. For 3 months he kept them. My non-existent wife, who up until that point, had no idea of my criminal activities, was horrified to learn what I had done, why Doug had taken our login info and changed the passwords. We were scared. I was in Hell, I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, to end this nightmare, and in response, he gave me this. I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Doug will kill me, or worse, Delete my Genshin account. I... All I could think to do was to make this video in hope that the world will finally see this man, for what he really is

I had this sitting in my inbox for an entire year

[kafkaoftherubble]

所以2023年的最后那这几天你都去哪儿了？

...还问什么问？当然是去玩啦！不然做什么? 在什么树下打坐冥想几天然后悟道吗？哈！

傅尹比俺还有可能来这套啦！

Since I documented the Coldplay event here (and failed to find the time to document the same event in Paradehye, the diary, beyond the journaling scraps written in The Commonest Man in Festo, a.k.a our commonplace book), I'll also record some of the stuff happening on December 23rd and 24th here.

Yo bruh, what else could we have done?

It's fucking CF!

It's our way of semi-celebrating Christmas! Where you get to see Christmas splendor and cheer melding with weeaboo shits! Lotsa lotsa weeaboo shits!

Report: Still way too many Genshin Impact cosplayers. There was also a huge bunch of Chainsaw Man and Jujutsu Kaisen, but generally, I think this year was impressive in its diversity of costumes. There were a lot of really unexpected shits and some old anime/video game/pop culture cosplays reared their heads, but damn, you'll get to the Indisputably Bestest Cosplay Ever In My History of Attending CF real soon, Lyndises of the Future.

This time, we got to invite and induct Sharon, who had been missing from the main family for more than a decade. She couldn't even remember the correct terms she needed to address our uncle and aunt anymore! So the Me At That Time greeted Ah Cik and Ah Jim loudly before she did, so she could copy me!

She also said she had social anxiety and was really nervous about seeing everyone whom she hadn't been meeting for, again, more than a decade. But really? Wei Wei is bonkers and laughs like a banshee with an easy threshold for humor. Ah Jim likes to listen to gossip and is an impressive conversationalist. Ah Cik is an extroverted businessman with an origin as a salesman; holding conversations and making things not-awkward is his forte. Qian Qian takes some time to warm up, but she easily talks a storm when it's something she likes—such as performing on stage and Loki and some manga/manhwa and cats. Hang Hang? Bro dips in and out. But he laughs at the stupidest things until his face flushes and is generally chaotic. He acts like a cool bro and yet his body betrays him by farting when he's excited.

And she's got me. It's my principle not to make anyone feel left out or lonely as best as I can in a given room. What's the point of training to be observant and attentive to people if I couldn't even realize someone's feeling left out?

Oh, it worked out in the end! And I don't think it's because of me, either. It's because she's a good sport who did try to join in on the conversation and listened and talked! And because everyone else was so welcoming to her, too. I really picked the right family to induct her back into the Big Family. Phew. Good thing I was skillful enough at choosing...

(Annoyingly, when I told her we're actually an introvert, she called me a liar. Lyishere called me a liar too just two days ago. Liar?! Moi?!)

Anyway, this was us!

Damn, should have made sure Malaysia's easiest landmark is included in the picture instead of just the Christmas tree. The goddamn Twin Towers where Mei Mei was near in one of the last episodes of Jujutsu Kaisen: Shibuya Incident should have been here...

Why aren't my pocket-flowers showing?

Okay, this one showed a little.

We spent the first day completely inside Art Market so there wasn't time for cosplay pictures. I mean, the market took 5 fucking hours to tour, and I didn't even comb through everything as carefully as I wanted to because Qian Qian was suffocating from the crowd and the smell. Sharon was tired; she had never walked so much before. Conventions are tests of endurance.

This was one of the best stuff in the market! But it was too expensive for my budget. Goddamn it! I swear I will even make space for this amazing ass banner had I bought it. Kulit Wayang style on Zonai aesthetics? Fucking swell!

We did find the Uncle-est Nanami ever while we were on our way out, and honestly, he was one of the best Nanami I found on Day 1! Sure he didn't have the abs and the height, but he had the semblance!

There were some missions, really. Find buff ajuicy Nanami; take pictures of them. Find Nanami re-enactment; take pictures of them. Things I do for Crow Curry, man. THIS IS FOR YOU, YOU NANAMI SIMP!

This cosplayer was so happy, you know? He was so excited to see us excited to take pictures with him, that he forgot his gah-chang, okay? Ya know, the knife?

Even after we left, Qian Qian said she saw him still grinning widely over the whole thing. I didn't even know he could be so happy about it, because cosplayers are so used to being taken pictures. Turned out, his Instagram revealed that this was his first time cosplaying. No wonder!

When we later told Ah Cik about this, his Buddhist ass immediately characterized this as 布施 (Dāna). I mean, none of us thought we were making someone's day, so does it even count? But I'd be lying if I pretended that making one person—goddamn Nanami at THAT—happy didn't please me.

We then walked a few kilometers to Pavilion and the surrounding malls to find some place to eat. KLCC で大変混んでいったから食事が無理だった。

---

Day 2, 24th December 2023

We were pissed not to have taken pictures with any cosplayers (except Uncle Nanami), so we did what Ah Cik and Ah Jim and Wei Wei and Hang Hang thought was insane—BACK TO CF DAY 2!

The best part? I think most people had the same idea as we did! There were even more cosplayers on Day 2! Most of them hung out at the park, like us. I mean, right off the bat we got this:

Dude did work on their eyes!

She couldn't walk without her 4 assistants/friends helping her! Now that's fucking dedication. I wonder if I did end up doing my Monster Rika cosplay (don't bet on it), would I need help walking around too? My ears may be my best sensory organ, but I don't think they are good enough to replace my eyes. I've been a seeing person all my life, after all. I'm also not as good at sensing things as Fionn is...

Fucking found Waldo! And Waldo found us! Yo, here's Wonka over there too!

We looked good for each other, right? Wrong!

Every year during CF, there is a tradition: Qian Qian will always encounter people who just wanna take pictures with her even though she made it explicit that she wasn't cosplaying and was just putting on whatever she likes. The only makeup she ever does is her lips, but she's really pretty and eyeball-attracting, innit? Ha! Stuff like this makes Ah Cik proud.

This professional photographer was just one of the many people who wanted to take pictures of her.

I wonder what it's like to be so visible and eyeball-attracting. All the Past Lyns had wondered the same at some point, right? It would definitely ruin our ability to not be noticed and then jump on someone, that's for sure. Can't be a ghost if you're too visible. But I wonder if being so seen would lessen that feeling of being a see-through not-there... "thing", the way it seemed to be to us throughout our life.

HOLY SHIT ALICE LIDDELL FROM MADNESS RETURNS! Now that's old stuff being brought back!

(Here's the Twin Tower!)

GET IT?! BLUD WAS USING A SWITCH AX! A SWITCH AX!!! AND HE THEN TURNED IT FROM AX MODE INTO GREAT SWORD MODE!

Monster Hunters, riseeeeee! And he wasn't the only MH cosplayer with an amazing weapon prop! There was also a Zinogre cosplay set. You gotta see it for yourself in the album.

I didn't think Cursed Miku would show up, but show up she did!

Okay, here they are. Indisputably Bestest Cosplay Ever In My History of Attending CF:

NANI THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!

Goddamn Guanyin and Buddha cosplays?! And really, this wasn't even the only bunch:

AND THERE WERE AT LEAST TWO GUANYU, AND ONE SUN WUKONG, AND ONE XUANZHANG that we didn't manage to take pictures of—like guys, where did all these deity cosplayers come from?!

Fucking dope though!

Of course, the Nanami Shrine is ALSO hella dope. Hey, wanna see a dead body?

Rate them peaches Rest in Peace!

The Ubiquity of Gojo Satoru: How I Was Space Cleaved by Sukuna and Transported to Another World Along With Many Other Me

You don't always get to see a Mob Psycho 100 cosplay, so all three of us took pictures with them! Mob Psycho 100 is our commonality!

BRUH.

And last but not the least, because it was such a beautiful day where the rain was only half an hour long and a drizzle, and the sun was beautiful, I recorded my official drip of that day,

These are by no means the only pictures we took, guys. Please go to the Google Album attached to the account "black bird" and "short skirt" and "gmail." You know the one.

[tomanpeach]

such a good girl – diluc x reader

a/n: 18+! nsfw! i just read the genshin manga and can't stop thinking about this one part at the beginning also i am literally horny for diluc like every second of the day and that's all i have to say for this thank you very much please enjoy lmao

"he suggested that i had something to do with the attack on the fatui envoy!" diluc burst into the room in a rage. "can you believe that?! the attack which also endangered innocent mondstadtian civilians! the nerve to come here and accuse me of something like that!"

"slow down," you got to your feet. he was pacing angrily then, and you hesitated to get closer. "who accused you of that?"

"the cavalry captain of the knights of favonius," he chuckled disdainfully. "who else?"

"how could he think you would do something like that..." you trailed off. diluc is such a proud man, it makes perfect sense why he'd take this to heart. kaeya always knew just how to push his buttons, too...

"exactly! it's pathetic!"

you made the decision to close in and reach for his hand. he let you take it. "hey... look at me," you touched his cheek with your free hand. his skin was hot to the touch, a side effect of an angry pyro vision holder. "why don't we sit? try to calm down."

the glint in his eyes told you he was considering arguing, but he quickly softened and sat at the edge of the bed. you stepped forward to stand between his legs. the two of you were almost at eye level. "is there anything i can do, luc?" you asked softly, cocking your head to the side. he wrapped his his arms around your waist and tried to muster a smile, "no, sweetheart. i'm sorry to burden you with matters like these. i shouldn't bring that home to you." "don't apologize," you stroked his cheek.

"you're too good to me," he mumbled, bringing one of his hands to the back of your neck. with a gentle movement, he guided your lips to his. you felt him immediately relax into the kiss. the hand on your waist slipped lower, diluc giving your ass a playful squeeze. smiling, you pushed away from him.

"why don't i help you relax after the hard day you've had?" you offer, running your hands down diluc's broad shoulders. "what did you have in mind?" his mischievous grin made you think he already knew.

getting onto your knees in front of him, you slid your hands slowly up his thighs until they rested over the growing bulge in his lap. cupping his cock through his pants, you gave a gentle squeeze. you quickly dragged down his zipper and wrapped your hand around him. you looked up at him, making sure his eyes were on yours as you spit onto his hardening length.

diluc tried to keep his cool but his eyes always gave him away. you knew he was turned on beyond belief. you stroked him a few times before running your tongue across his leaking tip.

"such a good girl," he breathed, gathering your hair into a fist at the back of your head. every time you gave him head, you were reminded of just how fucking big his cock was. as you took him in your mouth, your eyes prickled with tears from accommodating the size.

diluc spent everyday being the buttoned up, polite, and respectful businessman that everyone in mondstadt knew him as. but alone, with you, he didn't have to be so docile. you felt the slight pressure on your head as he helped start your rhythm bobbing your head up and down. his groans and grunts of pleasure started to get harder for him to hold in. you pulled almost all the way off of him, sucking just the head while your hands jerked the rest of his cock. "oh, that's so good," he blurted. "fuck, just like that."

you practically moaned around his cock. earning these reactions– no, earning swear words from diluc was almost as good as an orgasm. "i'm... i'm almost there, baby," he warned. in response, you took him as deep as you could go, gagging as his tip pressed against the back of your throat. diluc let out a gorgeous groan of pleasure, and came in hot spurts down your throat.

you met his eyes again as you swallowed his load. "what did i do to deserve you?" he smiled, sounding a bit out of breath. he pulled you up onto his lap. the anger and stress was no longer visible on his handsome face. you wrapped your arms around his neck, "feeling better?" "all thanks to you, angel," he nodded. "now why don't you lay down so i can return the favor?"

[afyerarchive]

Hu Tao Harasses you With Funeral Advertisements

● ————————— GENSHIN

→ ABOUT / As your s/o Childe exits your house in Liyue, a girl from Wangsheng Funeral Parlor approaches you with a promotion.

→ DEMOGRAPHIC / gn ! reader

→ CW / hu tao + minor fluff

→ EXTRA / I was going to write this a few days ago but then foot stuff happened and well here we are

——————————————————————————————————

Childe hugs you as he leaves the premise; you watch him go off into the distance down the streets of Liyue on a trip for ingredients.

Relaxing, you sit back down on your porch, rocking in an old wooden chair and reading the latest on the newspaper; Ningguang is committing tax evasion again? Who would've guessed.

From your field of vision you see a short girl with dark purple hair strut her way over to your porch, holding a stack of flyers. Her outfit was black, with red flowers and fancy robes, smiling brightly; brighter than the lanterns of Liyue.

Still grinning, she walks up to you, and holds out a flyer. "Hu Tao here from Wangsheng Funeral Parlor; I have a proposal, if you have the time," she twirled once, awaiting your response.

"I'm not interested," you sigh, scanning over the flyer once before going back to reading the newspaper.

"Hang on buster, I'm not done promoting our service yet," she held up one of her own flyers, putting her finger under the line which said Pre-Order a Funeral Today for 50% Off . "Now's your once-in-a-lifetime (literally) chance to get 50% off your funeral when that day comes around; you never know, you could die tomorrow of all times and you won't be prepared for your buria-"

"I said I'm not interested," you scoff, staring her dead in the eyes.

"Well, I know just what can up this offer," Hu Tao grabbed an album out of the bag she was hauling with her. Flipping it open to about halfway through, she pulled out a fine printed drawing of a casket, a bit bigger than your typical model. "Order within the next 24 hours, and you can have this premium, tip-top quality casket, made with Inazuman wood and made by Mr. Zhongli himself. You've gotta' buy it--I mean, come on. Who wouldn't want Mr. Zhongli to put together your casket with his mystical hands- sorry, I'm getting off topic," she was still smiling, convinced you'd take her up on this offer.

"I have a boyfriend already," you sigh. "If you think putting some conventionally attractive businessman in your promotional material is going to sway me, you're sorely mistaken."

"Well well, is that not enough then still? I didn't want to have to do this, but," Hu Tao put back the album, this time pulling out a tattered portrait of a fine man with a moustache. "For free, with your purchase, I'll subcontract this world-renowned embalmer to help preserve your body right from the day you die. Let's be real, who would want to look at a gross rotting corpse at your grand funeral in a few decades?"

"Stop being so morbid, I'm not planning on dying anytime soon."

"We can change that rather quickly," Hu Tao's expression instantly changed, being even more morbid than before. Cracking her knuckles, and laughing almost manically, you now felt intimidated by her mere presence. "So, about that purchase?"

Frantically, you reach your hand out. "Please, let's get this over with."

Hu Tao handed you a pen and a document, on which you signed your name at the bottom without even reading it through; big mistake.

"Well, oopsies- that was the contract for a full-price service, without the benefits. That's a shame, though, I best be off now. You can keep the flyer," as if she was trying to get out of there as fast as possible, Hu Tao essentially sprinted away from the scene, out of sight from anyone.

What an interesting situation you found yourself in. Childe would be concerned as to how this happened, however, he could definitely pay for all of the costs.

LATER ✨

"Did you find everything?" You ask Childe, as he walks back in your home together, carrying several bags full of fresh goods from the market.

"I did," he smiled, setting the bags down to hold your hand. "Anything exciting happen while I was gone?"

You sigh, "I signed an expensive contract for my funeral when I eventually die. I'm not sure what I was thinking."

He doesn't even look surprised, and just sighs. "It's okay, I can pay for that," releasing from the tension regarding your encounter with Hu Tao, you enjoy the rest of your night with him, cooking and having a good rest.

——————————————————————————————————

[husbandohunter]

Stardew Impact [Genshin+Stardew Valley/xReader]

Part 1/3 Kaeya, Diluc

Synopsis: “A mysterious phenomenon brought you and your s/o to an unfamiliar world: Pelican Town! Without the power of Visions, the two of you begin to learn the life of what it takes to be...a farmer?”

(DOMESTIC FARM LIFE YIP YIP)

Coming soon...

Albedo and Childe

Zhongli and Xiao

(A/N): So the brainrot was real in this one. I planned to add Albedo for a Mondstadt edition but kinda went overboard so I gotta split this one into parts too. Wordcount_almost 2k spspspsp

______________________________________________________

Diluc

• Already has the whole year planned in his head. Literally if Diluc were to play this game, he'd have a booming farm within year ONE. Calm and collected through and through, though the new environment raises alot of questions, as long as you were still with him, Diluc ain't complaining

• The town welcomes you two with open arms. It was all thanks to the attire. Diluc wore his usual dark coat adorned with regal gold while you had a dress made of Liyue's finest silk, one that he bought for you. Needless to stay both of you reeked the aura of rich aristocrats (Mayor Lewis is pleased that greedy bastard)

• Once the farm was permitted to your owndership, Diluc began to think of ways to turn it into a vineyard. He was a businessman afterall. Although the staff back at the Dawn Winery were the ones who tended the field, Diluc still knew a few things about planting due to his childhood days Master Crepus would bring him out to their yard and demonstrated the process of gardening. He still remembers those days clearly, doing the very same this moment with you.

• Occasionally works at the Saloon bar. It was the perfect opportunity. As you took care of the farm side, Diluc continues to look for more ways to increase the income while gathering information from the folks around town. Gus LOVES to have him over, like he's just so efficient and reliable! They soon become good friends saying if Diluc were ever to own a wine stock, he would gladly buy from him.

• This is why Diluc would stay a little later due to just chatting with the people from the bar. One time you walked into the Saloon only to the front desk with Emily alone. Turns out the others were in the other room, too busy playing a game of pool. You decided to leave him be since it was rare to have Diluc so relaxed in leisure activities. Thus in the end, you spent your time chatting with Emily until a whole hour has passed before your lover notices and apologizes for losing track of time.

• Everything felt like a dream because it was his dream. To live a life undisturbed from chaos, his duties and the dangers that lurk in Teyvat, Diluc grew fond of the domesticity. There was nothing he loved more than to spend his hours by your side, day after day, returning home to your freshly handmade meals.

• Spring: Already up and early planting the parnersnips (I'm very soft for gardener Diluc you see). What do you expect from a workaholic? Even during his leisure time you would often find him near some plant as he does consider this hobby quite therapeutic. But when it rains, Diluc would be standing beside you with an arm around your shoulder, smiling contently as you lean into his touch. He gazes through the dripping window and silently admires the current progress you both made on the farm.

• Between the two annual spring festivities, I would say the flower dance. Diluc is a private man and would prefer to take things where no eyes were on sight. But with a little bit of nudging from Gus (your wingman), he gives in and leads you to the center stage. Elegant. Graceful. The way you two moved together became the talk of the event. Though, Diluc was already used to people staring by now, all he needed to do was to ignore them and keep his focus on you.

• Summer: No blankets in bed. Nope, its bloody hot in Pelican Town. He tends to stay indoors or anywhere with shade, in other words, his work hours in the Saloon increased.

• Diluc always has a nice cold drink prepared for you if by any chance you were to pay a visit after a whole day of labour. It's a habit he's made subconciously as if it would be a natural occurance for you to enter the door. His colleagues would ask him who did he make that drink for? Honestly so cute i cri

• Moments like these remind him of Mondstadt, where he quietly wipes the glasses while listening to you talk. Your voice is soothing. Sun rays peek from the side casting onto the umber tables, reflecting a rich golden light as the radio plays a soft song in the background. It's so peaceful, the town was small hence not many people visited the bar, Diluc came to appreciate this warm privacy (plus no Venti and Kaeya which is a huge pog realization).

• Autumn: Harvest time baby. The kegs are full and the sheds are full of kegs. This season was huge stonks and the house ended up getting an upgrade. Diluc is the type of man who wants to make sure that his spouse wouldn't have to work another day of her life. I reckon this is why he's so ambitious because he wants you to have the best and you deserve the best. (Husband material. Slap a ring on him ladies).

When there was no more work left to do, time would be spend peacefully exploring the woods. While you skipped a few steps ahead as the leaves crunched beneath your feets, Diluc follows slowly from behind. He sees your back but his eyes stares somewhere far beyond whats in front of him: His future. 

It was such a stark contrast to the one he envisioned before. One filled with uncertaintly, blocked by darkness with no silver lining in sight, endlessly wandering as he drags the claymore against the ground. There was never a day in which the Darknight hero wouldn't think of Mondstadt. Leaving the city in the incompetent hands of Ordo Favonious while Abyss Mages continue to lurk fuels him to find a way to return as soon as possible and yet...

"Higher big sis!" Jas tightens her hold on the ropes as you pushed the swing with all your might. She laughs, like a child, it was full of innocence and joy. Later Vincent came in and nugdes you, asking when his turn will come.

"You wanna go too? Alright alright don't worry," waiting for Jas to come down, you lift the boy up so that he was seated safely on the chair, "3..2..1 go!"

He wonders if he could just be a little selfish for once.

• Winter: Best man to have in this season. Every morning Diluc would find himself restricted in movements due to a pair of arms around his waist and legs entangled with yours. Turns out you've been doing it subconciously because he's just so warm (Diluc keeps it lowkey and pretends to sleep longer cuz of it)

~~xx~~

Kaeya

• Haha looks like the portal is gone, guess we'll be stuck forever :)). No kidding Kaeya would be so down to stay here for the rest of his life and the best part is to spend it with you. He doesn't show a shred of concern regarding Teyvat, not like he's easily shaken by events that are abnormal, but you can see that Kaeya is truly and genuinely happy. (You're stunned).

• Oho we also have this marvelous landscape just for the two of us? And a cozy little cabin to go along with it as well? This should be fun~ 

• Of course Kaeya would also know a few things about planting, just the basics since he did grow up with Diluc. When they were kids, Crepus would give each of them their own pots so they can grow their own plants. It eventually became a competitive thing where whoever's plant grows the fastest gets to eat the other person's dessert for a year (no one wins. They end up sabotaging each other which Diluc started first, thinking it'll be funny as a joke).

• You are, and will be going on dates with him. In fact, the amount of dates you two went on increased since then. The townspeople would call you two "lovebirds" since he's practically by your side 24/7. 

• I mean he doesn't have the responsibilities as a Cavalry Captain anymore so what else is there to do?

• Would attend all annual events no matter what season. 

• Evelyn constantly gushes how much of a wonderful pair you and Kaeya make and often is the one who provides Kaeya a fresh bouqet of flowers for him to use as a gift. George on the otherhand just rolled his eyes mumbling something along the lines of "youngsters these days" and "crazy hormones."

• Befriends Pam. Love for beer plus somewhat cynical attitude? They get along real swell! She starts sending some recipes into the mailbox of course saying if yall ever need a hand, let her know.

• Spring: I can see Kaeya be switching back and forth between caring for the farm or taking quests posted on Pierre's bulletin board. He likes to keep things interesting, learning the ways of the new world while also getting to know the people around town.

• Would NOT return Mayor Lewis' shorts in which he found in Marnie's room. It's such high quality blackmail material. Kaeya is currently plotting what is the best way to use it to his advantage.

• He didn't tell you of course.

• Summer: There are no blankets because he is your blanket. Since your cabin was small so was the bed. That's why he has to hold you so that no one falls off when rolling over. Either he hugs you with your nose close to his neck, or your back against his chest while spooning you or holding hands if sleeping on your sides became too much. Yall need a serious house upgrade.

• For some reason Kaeya becomes more energetic in the summer. He lets you rest in the shade while handling the farm work for the time being. If you guys got a pet it would be a cat. Hes the first one to refill their bowl every morning outside.

Another day passes as summer comes to an end, the town’s Mayor invited you and your lover to see the annual Dance Of the Moonlight Jellies. Kaeya being the opportunist was delighted to come along. Locking the door of your house, you follow him down the path and made your way to the beach.

Everyone from town was already gathered by the docks when the sun had disappeared down the horizon. You stood by his side in a space far from the others, watching  the candle boats set off to ride the waves, lighting up a small ray of light for creatures to find. 

“Wow,” your tone almost above a whisper, “If only our friends back home could see this too.”

“Perhaps,” he says. Kaeya slips his fingers into yours and you shot him a curious glance, “But let us enjoy this moment shall we? Just the two of us.”

And there they were. A sea of luminescence radiating colours of brilliant blue with hints of green like a city of laterns floating in a world below. Their image reflects in the star of Kaeya's eyes as he wonders, where would they go? Where would the light lead them? They were so free with nothing to worry, so serene just like the sea and unknowningly, he squeezes your hand. It was a sense for confirmation. One to remind him that this moment was indeed a reality he wishes to keep.

Autumn: Finally a house upgrade and a kitchen!! Because it was harvest season, you guys end up making a set of delicious meals with all the recipes the townspeople gave you. Kaeya can cook since he lived by himself back in Mondstadt. Most of the stuff he learned to make were food that can be accompanied by alcohol though...

• Ahah remember Mayor Lewis' lucky shorts? He found a use for them. It was displayed on the stands during the Stardew Valley Fair (Oh my how did this get here? Must be the wind). Ends up buying a Rarecrow for the farm when Lewis bribes him not to tell this to anyone.

Winter: This was mostly an indoor season for the both of you. With the existence of television, nights would be spent until morning while watching movies at the couch. A blanket drapes around your shoulders as extends to his.  Oh and don't forget the hot chocolate! 

[grunklestanofficial]

Hey I got genshin brain rot and for that I am infodumping every thought I’ve had about my personal AU where everything is the same except Kaeya is a teenager. Like around Bennet & Razor age.he is teen bro

Main Story Bits

Kaeya gets found by Crepus when he is actual baby, does not have any memory of Khaenri'ah save for very vague infant memories of the aesthetic. For a while everyone’s best guess for his origins is that a group from Sumeru had a really unfortunate fate, based on the general wreckage he was found in.

Your usual fluffy headcanons about a happy Ragnvindr childhood. Kaeya never doubts himself as part of the family but he does have this desire to learn more about where he originally came from. He’s real into learning about Sumeru culture and customs and Crepus and Diluc do their best to support it!

Actually doesn’t wear an eyepatch for most of his early life. Crepus took him to a pediatrician and it was like “yeah I guess it’s weird but he doesn’t seem to have vision problems so let’s say heterochromia”

The brothers still have estrangement issues in present times because that’s what happens when you’re like eleven, your dad dies, and your older brother/only living relative leaves to go on a vengeance quest

But also there’s estrangement because on the night of Crepus death /something/ happens. A something that Kaeya can’t fully remember other than it gave him a vision and that clues Diluc in that his baby brother has more intense origins than he thought. Kaeya’s eye is more for just looking pretty, And the Abyss does not need someone to know they are a spy to make use of what they can see.

This doesn’t mean Diluc /blames/ him but it’s definitely sort of a “I have to keep my distance while I’m looking for information to help him to protect Kaeya from the Abyss order” kind of situation and both of their communication is pretty shit

Dilic comes back with the impression that his baby brother has entered his angsty teen phase from how he behaves around him. Kaeya also thinks Diluc is in his angsty teen phase.

Kaeya holds an honorary knight position like the Traveler rather than being an official captain in the Ordo, both due to his age and because he feels he has a bigger duty of being responsible for the winery as the only member of his family in Mondstadt for three years (and there’s no theoretical emotional hang ups for taking up that responsibility like with canon Kaeya) If you are a snooty wine tasting businessman saying he doesn’t know anything about wine when he can’t legally drink it he will humiliate you.

Still has sort of an information network going on but it’s mainly sourced on him publicly being a Good Good Boy and all the grannies in Mondstadt want to give this Nice Young Man the hot goss. Dorothy thinks she’s all that with her prize winning Ceclias but did you hear her grandson is looking into being a Treasure Hoarder? smh smh

Maybe he finds out about the Darknight Hero and forces Diluc into doing some Batman and Robin shit idk.

Other Extra Tidbits

Kaeya and Fischl are besties, eyepatch solidarity. Kaeya had a chunni pirate phase and that’s why he wears the eyepatch.

No one has told him that Grandpa Ragnvindr  was not actually a pirate.

Barbara and Kaeya are also friends in a “we had to hang out while our siblings hung out” kind of way

Rosaria is considered by Kaeya to be the coolest person in Mondstadt (and he’s right) and sees her as a role model. Rosaria’s def aware that she should probably be a responsible adult to keep him from going down a similar path as her but she is not. The best. At role modeling. She will let him have cigarettes if he asks is all I am saying.

Actually he and Bennett are also ride or die. Oh you can’t handle being part of Benny’s adventure team? Sad. Kaeya’s built different. Bennett will also be brought along to ask Rosaria for cigarettes behind the church.

If anyone does wanna do anything with these ideas  you can totally go for it as long as there’s proper crediting. I sort of have a plot hook idea of “ Canon Diluc goes into a funky domain, comes out and learns he swapped places with his alternate self and has to Deal With It and uncovering what sort of research Alt!Diluc was doing.”, but that is also open because me gathering enough spoons together to write a narrative story is a pipe dream.

[merakiui]

welcome to the day a duck ruins your perception of items in genshin impact. i uh. made some items in genshin impact as yandere boys and what they're like sort of?? you could try and burn your eyes now. ;) adepti seekers stove- he's going to be a tsundere no buts or uhts. he's the type of yandere that's trying to be protective and failing miserably everytime. so being impatient and angsty. so, he resorts in kidnapping you instead. but hey look on the bright side! even when you're kidnapped you can have delicious meals and snacks! secretly likes to cook for you a lot, but he won't admit it even in death. just don't question why there's a lingering scent of sleeping potions in your meal and you'll be good as jolly jee! probably wants you to help him in the kitchen, since he once heard that couples do that. would probably give you self esteem issues down the line. "didn't i tell you to not get hurt? are you that much of an idiot?? here. have this it'll lessen the pain just a bit so we can walk back home. just drink it already." windsong lyre- smug bastard, smug shit. he's probably a player or just overly dramatic with everything. maybe he's righteous or something.. likes to show off his music skills a lot. he sucks at it tho. gaslights you probably in public places to add more pressure, because people are staring like you're having a performance or something. calls you love even if he's pissed at you for not listening to him, or accusing him of being toxic or suspecting him of being your stalker that always watches you from your window at 2am! would make you paranoid a lot. loves kissing your cheek and tickling you. he's a closeted pervert. you're gonna have to move in an isolated place too, he will spread rumours of you being his lover. "love, I'm sure that you're just overreacting. plus even if i was the stalker that you're talking about I wouldn't be oh so casually talking to you in public when I could've been hiding! jeez it's like your going crazy." wind-blessed harpastrum- such sweety! just so wholesome bakes you a pie in tuesday sweet. seems patient too but beware he will break your legs when you get a little bit too bratty for his tastes. touch starved too and it shows, that's why he loves to cuddle you lots! really obsessed with what you think of him. if you say you hate him he'll tear up and try to convince you that he's good, but if you pretend that you like him he'll shower you with uncomfortable affection and confessions. really great at making bombs and torture weapons too. probably sewed in a bomb inside your body threatened that he will kill you with it if you leave. bad at darts and archery. if you say that to him he'll laugh and take out his diploma saying that he's too smart for those childish games. he's impulsive in decision making. "haha. you know. you almost escaped from me back there. but hey! now you won't do anything stupid like that ever again if you can't walk." windblume balloon: listen man. im going to be killed but he's an airhead, pun intended right there. probably lowkey manipulative and doesn't even know it yet or chooses to ignore it. protective of you a lot. really delusional to the point that he rationalizes your escape as someone kidnapping you. so say goodbye to whoever poor stranger who was trying to help you escape they'll be greeted by an arrow through their head once he finds you. has a habit of holding your hand because he's afraid you might disappear from his line of sight and leave him all alone. if you let go tho he'll gorilla grip your hand, might crush it too. just very overprotective. he also doesn't know that he's an airhead. yeah."hm? why do i like holding you hand..? i just like it.. your hand makes me feel... uh. safe..? is that the word for it? ah. it was the word loved." wind catcher- he's a full on sadist. throw all of your escape plans out the window, this guy will climb a mountain and ride any wind current available to catch and torture you. persistently trying to make you like him atleast a bit. yeah, he's that kind of delusional. would teasingly push you

of a cliff as a 'light' punishment. dark humour and likes to joke about killing you from time to time. note: he can kill you. and he would also do it by ripping you in half with the wind current so just stay in his house and be a good lover that'll shower him in kisses, okay? okay. he mostly sees you as a tool of interest, but not just any tool- you're his favourite tool. "pfft! hey stop crying now! you're making me feel bad! hm? oh? why am i doing this? well i mean maybe I'm angry that someone was trying to escape. again." warming bottle- he will absolutely leave you in the cold if you were being a brat towards him. lives in dragonspine to spite you, also because he can just turn take away your blankets and anything that can give warmth so you gotta ask him to cuddle you to survive. he usually does this when he's feeling a little petty. which is so frequent. that you can almost give it a schedule. but don't tell him that. kind of a tsundere but only when it comes to physical affection since he's shy. that's why he has to take away your blankets so it looks like he's just mocking you but not because he's touch starved. he's not at home that much too but don't worry, he will make it up to you by uh.. physical activities.. "what? you're freezing? no shit we're in dragonspine. oh? you want me to hug you..? hm. fine. I'll indulge you for a bit. I am quite merciful." parametric transformer- businessman that scams you a lot lol. he's going to be a masochist because i said so, yeah i know the electric stone thing gag that's why i made him a masochist. really likes to collect useless stuff and spoiling you, so expect your room to be filled with a lot of random things from jewelry to mushrooms and crabs. has a you should be grateful i even give stuff mindset. thinks that giving someone something of vaue would make them fall in love with him instantly. also probably loves it when you fight back especially when you successfully land a hit on him, he will enjoy it. but be careful he has different responses whenever you hit him. pick your poison. spends a ton of resources on everything to keep you in line. that rope costed him 700 pinecones. "why do you even wanna escape? i give you a ton of stuff so you won't get bored! hah. maybe if i had picked up someone else they would've been grateful." portable waypoint- throw out your escape plans the season sequel. he's very quiet but has a small temper that won't last that much. maybe he's like that since he tries so hard to repress it. listen he's trying okay? escape always fails so quickly. one minute you're in springvale shouting, crying, begging for anyone to help you and then back to his house to see him sipping some tea. his punishments are cruel too- he makes sure to leave you in a den of monsters and ruin guards, waits until your in the brink of death and teleports you back to him. has a superiority complex over everyone too. probably likes to make you feel weak when you have to rely on him. loves to crush your self esteem. wants to be affectionate but thinks that you, as an inferior being, should be affectionate with him instead. so tsun. "see? this is what i was trying to tell you. you're too weak to actually survive out there. you even had to rely on me to save you. pathetic." memento lens- mysterious and elegant. he's quite cryptic to say the least. likes to watch you from a far if he's feeling a bit angsty. you try to make sense of what he says and it just leads to you being confused even more. and he likes that about you. you actually try to understand him, even if what you guess is wrong. you're going to have a tough time with this guy if you wanna escape. just avoid any fox statues and you'll be good. the problem is the shrine maidens. they basically want the two of you to end up together so they don't have to deal with him. he's actually very gentle with you punishments still suck but atleast he doesn't do it physically, he just makes you write that you're sorry over and over until your wrist are tired. loves poetry and solving puzzles, riddles, scriptures. he's

smart but soft. "spring blossoms even in the darkest depths of uncertainty, is that why you have the courage to try and escape me..?" kamera- perfectionist stalker. wants to make sure that the photos he takes of you are perfect to every extent. colour, lighting, and expressions. even if it means going inside your room and having the possibility of waking you up from your sleep. likes to take pictures of everything too. kind of like this; both of you are walking somewhere and he stops to take a picture of a sunset. he takes twenty minutes trying to find the correct angle. but the sun is already gone so he sulks. maybe- you can cheer him up by volunteering to be his model? you'll do that? right? also worships you like a god so if someone dared to even say something breath near you or celestia forbid insult you, best to say they'll be quickly disposed of by blackmail and fake shit. would not steal any of your belongings, he would just take pictures of it. so he's not that bad. "i consider everything in this world is beautiful, but you have surpassed that. so that is why im keeping you here. no one deserves even a glimpse of you!" waverider toolbox- he's such a gentlemen and a sweetheart. always there to help you with repairs, sometimes he'd add some updates to it too. just ignore the stuff going missing inside your boat thing. he probably guilt-gaslight you into staying with him in his waverider then bam your in an island stranded. ahaha, now both of you just have to survive by working together ya know? like a loving couple likes hugs and physical affection a lot! bonus points if it's given when he's tired from doing his job. as i said tired guy so appreciates all the things you do for him whether it's paying for his meal or giving him a gift. next time, he'll make sure that you won't leave the island permanently. thinks that stranded island equals date smh. " ahh? oh! is this for me? really? thank you.. i don't usually receive gifts but that just makes this even more special! say, do you wanna go on a trip? i just fixed the waverider from last time." red feather fan- mischievous little shit. likes to scare you a lot by appearing on trees and just jumping on you. knows that you're trying to escape but pretends not to since he likes to try and guess which direction you would run to. hugs you a lot even before he kidnaps you really touchy even if you say no he'll use the good ol puppy eyes! doesn't work? okay he'll just smell your clothes when you're sleeping as compensation. he likes to flirt with you a lot. some pickup are cheesy.. but others are a little- personal? acts cool by making a dramatic entrance everytime even. you know those radical superhero landing stuff? that's him. he would build a nest as your house even being a dick and placing it on top of a mountain, goodluck on trying to get down. "caught you! going to the shore was so predictable by the way. maybe you should try a different place next time, dear? hm? maybe a restaurant so we can have date? sounds great right?" serenitea pot- unhinged malewife that wants to make a the perfect living space for you- ehem. probably a perfectionist if you squint hard enough. he's delusional but just a little lucid about the stuff he does to you. likes to make a ton of furniture too! personalized the room you're trapped in with a ton of valuable and expensive materials. just don't try to escape he'll cut your limbs off just like a damn tree shawtie. owns a shit ton of pets ranging from boars to cats. all of them are like bodyguards to you during your stay. dreams about having a peaceful life with you in the realm someday, sigh. he sometimes has burnouts where he just places a bunch of furniture on a single room and call it a day. "and here is your room! do.. do you like it? i made it just for you! i didn't know what wood you would prefer so i just settled on whatever i can find! ahaha. we're kind of like a married couple living together now... right?" nre menu- he's probably going to be from the adventurers guild. really awkward and shy. takes for him a long time to

open up to you. when going on quests he's the one in charge of carrying the food and healing shit you need. really patient and nice! slightly uh mean with other people trying to talk to you but other than that everything is normal. everything is normal the long loving gaze he gives you every now and then and some food being left on your doorstep. yeah let's not question it i mean he's just so shy! he would never do anything wrong? right?? he's a closeted pervert, cliche i know but he's a pervert with a line to not cross. he just checks you out. good for him. would cry if given any ounce of affection. sweet baby. "t-that was a tough commission.. oh u-uh.. do you need some food to replenish your energy? we need to do the other commissions you know.. hm? why aren't you eating it.. something wrong with the food..?" seelies- spoiled. that's the word to describe him. really straight forward with his courting kind of dumb? but he's so damn lucky for some unknown reason that your plans to avoid him always fail. yeah the high quality rope you just bought for 1000 mora? it broke and you fell into his arms. he's probably rich by sheer dumb luck too. finds a ton treasure chests even in the places you didn't expect. people pressure you into spending time with him. since he's just so cute! how could say no to such a face? it really feels like the gods are on his side ya know? he throws a lot of very very aggressive tantrums if you're not with him. thinks he's doing a good job at courting you, with rationalize rejection as a playing hard to get. "tada! look i got you this crystal i found while i was walking! it looks like a diamond and it has a ton of colours too?? is it valuable?? would you kiss me if i give it to you??" endora- majestic, regal, and likes to explore a lot. he uh. probably trapped you in a bubble once or twice too. really curious about his surroundings, also has no personal space since it's first time going out. he would cuddle you when he feels like it homie. kidnapped you and made you his tour guide. don't try to fool him he learns quickly about stuff. fast swimmer, so no joining any expeditions in water if you don't want their ship to be wrecked by a mysterious being of the teyvat seas. he likes to see you cry. it's not a kink he just feels connected to you when you cry. doesn't have a house so you just live in a run down boat. he's doesn't know when you're lying to him sometimes. god complex bastard. "this world. at first i wasn't sure if i was going to like it or not, but ever since I've met you... I've grown to tolerate some parts.. so you should be thankful, you've convinced me. mortal." intertwined fate/older twin- listen. he's just so smug about everything he does. and he knows you love him. probably invites you out on dinner only for him to not show up. so basically he's an asshole without a doubt. toxic boyfriend that gives you false hope and has a ton of admirers. you probably think he won't settle for you right? ah, he's not that cruel. so picks you as his lover out of all the billions of people. you should be grateful! he even kidnapped you! do you know how hard it was for him to go all the way from his home to yours? anyways yeah. asshole. he likes to do the open the door for darling trick where he just gives you a small crack on the door and watch you make a decision. it's an act of your loyalty. if you escape he'll make you feel pain. if you don't then he'll reward your patience. god complex bastard 2."sigh. did you try to escape? again? patience is the key to everything you know. maybe you should learn that. i expected more smart from you." acquaint fate/younger twin- cinnamonroll he's such a sweet guy. he's always there for you when you need him. okay- he has a nice guy complex, fucking damn it. probably uses the but I've been there for you since the start trick unintentionally a lot. he just doesn't know he wants some action, so be thankful that he didn't just jump on you like a barbarian. he's kind of contradicting himself too. one hand he wants you to love him, on the other hand he doesn't

believe he deserves you. loves to give you the same things, remember that one painting you liked from two years ago? he got you that. quantity beats quality. surprisingly, he's really patient but would have bursts of anger every now and then. has a self value issues?? yeah, but did i tell you he's a touch starved guy. punshments are just him softly lecturing you about what's good and what's wrong."i always viewed myself as inferior, that i didn't deserve anything.. but this time. i want to be greedy just once." that's it- :'D i haven't proofread this but here you go mer! ill probably continue with more humanisations of items in genshin later.. if you ask why i ruined your day with this crazy idea i was watching that one video of a person humanising social media and got this idea. also i discovered how to bold out texts... i have power..ejwjdhshaj

so yeah have a great day! -🦆anon

I AM IN AWE?!?! WHOA OMG!!!!! 🦆, THIS IS FANTASTIC!! AAAAAA (≧∀≦)

All of the various characterizations… *chef’s kiss* It’s literally so good! With each one I read I kept thinking okay this guy is my favorite and then I would read the next description and my heart was stolen again. I can’t pick a favorite now. T_T