#you can say what you want about attention spans and cheating and what have you but at the end of the day

[vampire-rodeo]

Every time I hear about a school near me (USAmerica) banning cellphones in classrooms, my immediate thought is fear for those students there, because what if one day they have a shooting and those students can’t call their mothers? Because legislators are more concerned about technology than guns.

[hyunniesgirl]

Bad intentions | Part 1

Pairing: nerd!Han Jisung x popular!reader(afab)

Summary: you thought you could turn Han Jisung into the perfect boyfriend material so you can get revenge on your cheating ex. Little did you know that you would end up getting much more than just a guy to show off.

Genre: fluff, angst, smut(for the story in general, this part has no smut)

Words count: 8,056

Slightly inspired in the movie She's All That

*This is the second fic to my series Love is a mess. The stories can be read as standalones but they are all connected so some details mentioned may sound off.

Disclaimer: Jisung is proud asf, OC has kind of a sad backstory and has anxiety(not explored very deeply but there are descriptions of her symptoms), this part is just suggestive so no smut

Part 2

This story is NSFW and is going to have +18 themes so MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

A/N: okay for the sake of the plot let's pretend for a moment that Han Jisung can be considered anything other than smocking hot, alright?

A/N²: My idea was for all the stories from this series to be oneshots but I just kept writing and writing and this one was almost 13k already and I haven't even gotten to the good part so I thought "I almost never read anything over 10k" so I split the oneshot for the sake of my readers attention span.

Jisung likes to think that he's better than all the guys fawning over you, he likes to think that even if he had a chance, he'd never lust over you. But well, sometimes a strong denial turns out to be an implicit affirmation.

It all started in social studies, he was trying to go over his notes for the test but the conversations happening at the same time didn't let him pay any attention to what was written in the sheets. There were five different conversations happening at the same time, but they all had the same subject: you.

Apparently, you had a boyfriend who cheated on you with a girl from a rival university? Or some trivial shit like that. Jisung doesn't understand why that matters to anyone but you and the said boyfriend. He doesn't understand why everyone feels like such a painful experience is any of their business. But he guesses it comes with the job.

Everyone knows you, you're the classic cheer captain, who dates — or dated — the infamous quarterback in the football team. People envy you, cherish you, they want to be you and he always thought they loved you, but after hearing so many snarky comments about you in the last 20 minutes, he's actually starting to pity you.

You wanted to kill him, Seunghoon, that bastard. He destroyed a relationship of a year just to get in someone's pants? Fucking idiot. You hate him so much for cheating on you, but you hate him the most for not showing up kneeling at your door and asking for forgiveness. Who does he think he is? He would never have gotten his position on the football team if it wasn't for you, everyone knows that.

It's an understatement to say you are always the best in everything you put your mind into and if you're not the best by nature, you work hard until you become the best. You are smart, pretty, popularity is your thing, you're used to getting everyone's attention wherever you go. Everyone loves you, or at least they pretend well enough.

So when you started dating this guy, who was a nobody it was pretty shocking for everyone else. You turned him into the most popular guy so he could stay by your side, so you expected a little bit of loyalty from him. Guess that was expecting too much from a horny dog like him.

You did love Seunghoon, you wouldn't have dated him for a year if you didn't. But his character was always questionable, that, you won't deny. There's that saying that love makes you blind but you knew that he's no good and yet stayed with him, that's on you.

You can't stand the pity looks people give you when you walk down the hallway, they could at least pretend they are not talking shit about you behind your back.

To think the semester has only just started, you wish you could take a year off to make sure things die down nicely. But if you do, you'll definitely lose your position as cheer captain, there are too many people willing to get rid of you so they can get your title.

It's best for you to try and get rid of these thoughts, so you hold your head high turning on a corner, decided to pretend everything is okay. That's when you bump into someone, dropping the books you have in your hands and your phone screen down on the floor, gasping immediately, the last thing you need right now is a broken phone.

When you lean over to collect your things, the person who bumped into you does the same, going for the phone at the same time and touching hands with you. A strange wave of electricity makes your whole body shiver by that touch, making you snap your head in the direction of the person.

You know him. He's one of the members of 3racha, a music group everyone loves. Curiously, this is the first time you have seen him outside of a presentation. He's clearly different from the other members, wearing baggy clothes and displaying a hair that's undeniable too long with some questionable choice of colors on it. You can't even really see his eyes, however, he has something about him that makes you refuse to take your eyes off him.

He grabs your book and phone, ignoring your shameless stare. Standing up and handing your things to you.

“Sorry, I can pay for your phone's repair”, he says and for the first time in a minute you can divert your eyes from him, looking at the screen, absolutely shattered and sighing.

“No, it's okay. I was the one who was distracted”, you smile, tucking your hair behind your ear. Why do you feel the sudden urge to flirt with him? He's not even your type. Or at least, that's what you think.

He hums, not really interested, taking a paper out of his bag and writing something on it.

“Here, this is my number if you change your mind”, he gives you the paper, saying goodbye and disappearing somewhere in the hallway.

When you finally meet Seunghoon, he doesn't even apologize, actually, he doesn't look regretful at all. He has a smug smile, as if what he did is not serious, as if he's better than you now.

You always had a thought in the corner of your mind that maybe he had some kind of inferiority complex when it came to you, but you didn't think he would go as far as to cheat on you just to prove he is better in some way.

“You don't harbor hard feelings, right?” He smirks, chin up. “I know you're much better than me, I'm sure you won't mind what happened and we can still be friends”, he's mocking you, you recognize that tone.

You're grasping the fabric of your skirt under the table, did he really pull you away from your practice to say this? The audacity of this man.

“Of course I don't mind”, you smile kindly, acting as unbothered as you possibly can. This is something you learned in so many years of having eyes on you all the time: pretend. You won't give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry or even get mad. If you are able to pretend you don't care at all about him, that's what you're gonna do.

“I'm glad-”, his smile falters a bit, you are sure he expected you to break. That shows how little he knows about you, you would never make a scene in public.

“Actually, I'm even seeing someone else already”, you blurt out, trying to make him more baffled and it works, he frowns and the look of confusion in his face is priceless.

“Well, that's great for you”, Seunghoon clears his throat, trying to regain his composure. “We should definitely go on a double date sometime”

“Of course, I'd love that”, you nod, standing up. “I'll be going now, but it was great seeing you”, you lie, turning around and walking back to the gymnasium.

When it sinks in what you just did, you want to hit your head against the wall. What the hell was that? Why would you even tell him you're seeing someone when you're not? For fucksake, you're sure he's too proud to let this go, he'll try to find out who it is that you're seeing and when he finds out you lied, you'll be done for, faced with utter humiliation again.

“Why would you tell him you're seeing someone?” Mina asks, looking at you like you are the dumbest person alive, and honestly, you do feel like that at the moment.

“I don't know”, you cry out, “I guess I wanted him to feel miserable”

“And look where that got you”, Miyeon says, worriedly.

“I know, I'm an idiot”, you tell them and your friends nod, making you glare at them. “Well, I guess I'll just have to find a new boyfriend”, you say, dreadfully.

“You know it's not that easy”, Mina says, “you built Seunghoon from the scratch to the guy he is today, it won't have the same effect if you get just anybody that people already see everyday, it has to be shocking”

“Well, I don't know”, you sigh, “is there even someone like that here?”

“I don't know”, Miyeon says, “you need someone charming, someone who people can't take their eyes off”

“It won't be good if he's already known, it should be someone who's usually invisible”, Mina completes.

You sigh, there's only one person you can think of who instantly fits that description.

“What about him?” Miyeon takes you out of your thoughts, pointing to someone behind you. “Isn't he part of 3racha?”

“I mean, he fits what we are looking for”, Mina says.

You turn around, finding the guy you bumped on a few days ago sitting at the table behind you, you're sure you can remember his name if you just try a little harder. He's sitting with Changbin, the other guy from 3racha who is kind of your friend.

“But is there something for you to do there?” Mina looks at him with squinted eyes, trying to see how you could improve him.

“He's cute”, you check him out shamelessly, nodding to yourself.

“I'm not sure if you could make Seunghoon jealous with cuteness”, she shrugs.

“He's not just cute”, you bit your bottom lip, thinking hard. “He could use a different haircut and maybe a new wardrobe but I see a lot of potential in there”

“Well”, Mina sighs in defeat, “let's make a bet them”

“Are you in middle school?” You ask her, rolling your eyes.

“If you can make Seunghoon regret cheating on you, I'll give up on trying for cheer captain next semester”, she ignores your question, stretching her hand for you to shake it.

“As if you were going to win anyway”, you joke.

Of course she could win, Mina is your best friend and also the best dancer you know, she could easily steal your position if you didn't try so hard to keep it, so you do what you have to do, shaking her hand even though you don't have a good feeling about it.

It's been a few days since you decided to make Jisung your new boyfriend, you just haven't figured out how to approach him. For starters, you can't even find him in this damn university, how the hell can a member from a trio as popular as 3racha just walk around without being noticed? That's a mystery you'll have to solve later.

“Jisung? Why would you want me to set you up with him?” Changbin asks, confused.

“Well, I find him cute”, you shrug, that's not a lie.

“He's not your type, he's totally different from Seunghoon”, he stares at you with a brow raised, sipping from his drink.

“Why would I want someone like Seunghoon? My reputation is almost ruined because of that guy”, you say.

“You got a point”, Changbin sighs, “let me talk to him first”, he can feel something is up but with all the mess happening in his life already, he doesn't have the energy to dig any deeper.

Jisung stares at his friend for about five minutes, no words being said. Why would someone like you want to go out with someone like him?

He's pretty popular because of 3racha, but not near as popular as you or your friend group. Everyone knows he's an awkward guy, when he's on stage his personality changes, he's confident, it feels great, like he could conquer the world, but when he goes back to real life, he just doesn't feel the need to be perceived. Jisung doesn't have a reason to be popular outside of the stage, he's fine with being invisible.

“So, what do you think?” Changbin asks.

“I don't know”, Jisung shrugs.

“Think carefully, it's not everyday that someone like y/n wants to go on a date with an ordinary guy”, the older one insists.

Well, maybe he likes being ordinary. He always thought he wouldn't be like those guys who would do anything for a pretty girl, now it's his chance to prove it.

“You can tell her that I appreciate the thought, but I don't think it's a good idea”, Jisung says, confidently. Even though he wants to punch himself after saying it.

Changbin sighs.

“If you're sure about it”, he shrugs, standing up and walking to the kitchen.

What if he's just letting his prejudice get in the way of meeting someone nice? He sighs to himself, there's nothing he can do about it now.

Well, that's unexpected. Did you go so low as to be rejected by just anybody? How could Jisung not even accept a single date with you? Are you ugly? No, you're sure it's not that. Are you boring? It's not that either, of course. You don't think there's a single thing that would make him turn you down. Maybe you're not his type? No, you're everyone's type.

You won't give up, though. Han Jisung has too much potential for you to just leave him be, you're sure you can make him be even better than Seunghoon ever was. So you march to social studies, you asked Changbin who reluctantly told you that Jisung takes that class.

You enter the classroom earning a few glances, smiling kindly at the people you know and introducing yourself to the ones you don't.

Jisung is seated in the corner, writing something on his notebook, earbuds on. You walk up to him, sitting by his side and waiting for him to notice you, which doesn't take long. He feels a presence too close to him, making him turn to look at you.

He frowns, taking his earbuds slowly, trying to process your present so close to him.

“How can I help you?” He asks and you tilt your head, he's even cuter up close.

“I heard you turned me down”, you say, leaning over the desk to watch him.

“Yeah, sorry”, he shrugs nonchalantly, hurting your pride even more. He should feel at least a bit apologetic, shouldn’t he?

“What do I have to do for you to go out with me?” You push more. You even came here looking for him, you're not going to be discouraged just by a bit of indifference.

“Why do you want to go out with me anyway?” He frowns, it’s not that he doesn’t want to say yes, it’s just that every time that he feels tempted to actually lust over you his pride gets a little more hurt, did you think there was no chance of you being rejected by him?

“Well, I like you. You're cute”, you tell him as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

“You don't even know me”, he scoffs, ignoring the fact that you called him cute.

“That's exactly why I want to go out with you, dummy. So I can get to know you better”, you smile, knowing he won't be able to get out of this situation without telling you why he won't go out with you.

“Well, you’re not my type”, he clears his throat, adjusting himself on his seat and trying to sound convincing, you’re clearly everyone’s type. “And I don’t think we would have much to talk about”

You’re going to fight him on this, argue that you’re a very interesting person that can talk about a lot of things, but the professor enters the classroom, eyeing you and tilting his head in confusion, since you passed this class last semester.

“I’m going to let it go for now”, you stand, “but don’t think you’re getting rid of me”, you huff, walking out of the class. He sure is stubborn, but you’re more.

Jisung feels like he's in those movies with a stalker following him around. You know, when the protagonist is sure that someone is watching them but every time they look around there's no one there? Except that in his case, you're always there. Every place he goes has you in it, glaring at him.

You're not actually glaring at him, even though he thinks you're. You're just shocked that he still hasn't come around to accepting going out with you, so you have to stare at him because you have to understand him. Why is he so different from the other guys? Of course you don't think you're better than anyone, but since news of your break up with Seunghoon broke out, your phone has been blowing up with texts from guys you didn't even know had your number, saying weird things and asking you out. So why is the only person you want to hear from, not giving a shit about you?

You ask Changbin's help but he refuses to meddle anymore than he already has, saying that he knows your intentions are not entirely good so he won't help anymore.

“Did you know we have a class with your new crush?” Mina says while looking at herself in the mirror of the clothes store you're visiting.

“What?” You take your eyes out of your phone to look at her, you have been staring at your screen for thirty minutes, trying to fight the urge to just call Jisung. He gave you his number so you could charge him with the repair of your broken phone but you already had it fixed, maybe you could use that little incident to your advantage.

“We have French with him, you chose Spanish, right?” Miyeon asks, looking around to see if she likes anything.

“Are you for real?” You ask and she looks at you, nodding. “Do you think there are still open spots in your class?” You ask, lost in thoughts.

“You're not going to switch classes just so you can get close to him, right?” Mina turns around to look at you, a brow raised in questioning. “Right?” She presses after you don't answer.

“I kinda prefer French though”, you smirk, standing up. “The school's office is still open now, isn't it?” You ask and both of your friends exchange looks, sighing and shaking their heads, sure that you're a lost cause.

It was not difficult to switch classes, you used up all your charm with the office’s secretary so she wouldn't argue too much about it. You just need a warm smile, some tiramisu and to compliment her nails.

You enter the class smiling victoriously, seeing your friends seated side by side and finding Jisung sitting alone in the back. You waltz over there, putting your things on the desk and sitting by his side.

Jisung takes a deep breath, side eyeing you for a moment.

“Are you serious right now?” He sighs, “you know you can't just keep coming to my classes, right? That's lowkey stalking”, he argues, making you chuckle.

“I don't know what you're talking about”, you shrug, “I'm enrolled in this class”, you tell him, pulling a paper with your schedule printed on it and showing it to him. “This is the only spot available”

He looks around to check, biting his bottom lip, embarrassed. He should have checked before assuming things but that doesn't change the fact that you have been around him too much lately.

“Okay”, he sighs, fidgeting on his seat.

“If I'm really making you uncomfortable I can find somewhere else to sit”, you say, even though you want to make him give in and accept to go out with you, you don't want him to feel genuinely bothered by you.

Jisung on the other hand feel likes he can give in at any moment, the second time he saw you looking at him he wanted to stand up and just go to you, telling you he would accept to go out with you, fuck his pride.

“It's okay”, he clears his throat, “You can sit whatever you want”, he says, making you smirk.

“I mean, are you sure?” You lean in his direction, glancing at his lap.

Jisung chokes immediately, coughing so much he thinks he's going to die, you didn't mean what he thinks you do, right?

Class starts before you can mess with him a little bit more, you didn't think you would have so much fun teasing someone.

Jisung stands up and leaves as soon as the professor says the class ended, he doesn't want to stay close to you for a minute more. He couldn't pay attention to class because your scent kept coming his way. He would glance at you and you wouldn't even be acknowledging him, paying 100% of attention in class. It did make him upset that he didn't seem to cause the same reaction in you as you do to him.

Except that, as stated before, you're very good at pretending. You really wanted to tease him every time you caught him staring at you, you could see everything he was doing with your peripheral vision and you wanted to giggle with every time he pouted while looking at you.

That's proof enough for you that not being his type it's not the reason why he's reluctant to go out with you but you didn't even think about the possibility of him not liking girls at all.

“As far as I know, he does like girls”, Changbin tells you. “I'm not sure about guys though, maybe he does too?”

“Well, that's good then”, you sigh, crossing your arms and nodding to yourself, lost in thoughts.

Changbin stares at you for a moment, with a brow raised. “Binnie, can't you help me out? Just this once” You plead again, giving him puppy eyes.

“Nope, I'm not sure what your intentions are but what I know is that you don't do things without a reason”, he shakes his head.

You sigh, poking the inside of your cheek with your tongue, you know how to convince Changbin but it's the first time in your life that you have to resort to such dirty methods.

“You know, I met someone really nice one of these days”, you tell him, smiling friendly. “She's really cute and she has been helping me in a class we have together”, Changbin glares at you. “I think you know her, but she doesn't seem to like you at all…” You pout, making a show.

“What are you trying to say?” He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I'm trying to say that if you help me out, I can do the same”, you shrug, “you have so many virtues, Binnie, I'm confident I can make her see you in a different light”

You can at least try to convince her that Changbin is a good guy even though she's absolutely sure that he's bad news.

“Are you saying I should sell out my best friend so you can help me?” You see Changbin hesitate and that's when you push a little more.

“Come on, it's not like I'll do something awful to him”, you say, “I just want one date”

He sighs, nodding.

“Okay, alright”, he grunts. “I'll help you out just this one time and that's it”

“You're the best!” You say, clapping your hands excitedly.

This is definitely not how you thought the help would happen. The sun is burning your skin and the giggles of people around you are making you stressed. A pool party, why did he think this was going to be a good idea?

Just because you're at the same party as Jisung it doesn't mean you'll get a chance to talk to him or even accomplish your goal but even though the odds are against you, you are still going to try.

The day is too hot, the pool is bustling with people and you're uncomfortable in your bikini. In most days you love your body, you think you're pretty just the way you are but sometimes you have bad days, where you feel like everyone is staring at every single flaw you have.

You came to the party because you couldn't lose the opportunity but you can't see Jisung anywhere and your anxiety is only growing bigger. So as soon as you get the chance to escape, you do it. You wander around the frat house, looking for a place with no one, maybe Changbin's room is empty since he pretty much doesn't live in the house.

You walk up the stairs, swerving in the middle of the crowd who are talking and laughing with drinks in their hands, it's very overwhelming.

The corridor where the rooms are have less people, so you walk until the end to find Changbin's nameplate on the door. You knock twice to make sure there's no one there, the music in the pool is pretty loud so you can't hear if there are voices in the room but you wait a few seconds so people can get dressed if there is someone fucking there. You open the door slowly, finding the room empty. Hurrying inside and closing the door so no one sees you going in.

It's a pretty huge room with things that suit Changbin's personality to a T. There's gym equipment all over the place, a big bed in the middle, a door you can only guess leads to a private bathroom and a TV that you're not sure was ever used. But again, your friend only comes by the house once in a while since he lives in an apartment downtown with Chan and Jisung.

Changbin managed to convince Jisung that it would be a good way to promote 3racha if they threw a party and it didn't take much convincing to the frat president since that guy loves partying.

You sit by the bed, trying to take deep breaths. The burning sensation in your chest is easing a bit with the calm and silence of the room. Silence that is immediately interrupted by the door of the bathroom being opened, just to show a half naked Han Jisung coming out of there with just a towel wrapped around his waist.

You two stare at each other for a minute, both not sure what to do next, both frozen. You manage to stand up, turning your back to him, face burning with embarrassment.

“I'm sorry, I didn't know there was someone already here”, you clarify. “I- I knocked on the door”, you inform him as if that could change anything.

Jisung finds your reaction funny, he didn't take you for the shy type, who gets flustered by seeing a man like this.

“I was showering, I didn't hear the knock”, he says, walking to Changbin's wardrobe to get some clothes he leaves there for eventual emergencies since the frat house is closer than his house to the university.

“Yeah, I guessed that”, you gulp, trying to calm your beating heart. You didn't get to take a good look at him, but the little you did made you quite surprised. Jisung is pretty athletic and hot.

“You can turn around now”, he says. You do it slowly, still embarrassed.

“I'm sorry again”, you sigh.

“It's okay, it can happen”, he shrugs, sitting on the bed. He can't help but look at you too for a moment, you're wearing a deep green bikini that goes perfectly with the tone of your skin. You have a thin transparent shirt that doesn't leave much to the imagination making him bite his bottom lip. If you try to make a move on him again right now, he won't be able to say no.

However, his not very pure thoughts are interrupted by your uneasiness, shifting your weight from a leg to another, hands trying to cover your thighs. Did he look at you for too long? Did he make you uncomfortable? Jisung diverts his gaze from you immediately, he's always proud to say that he's not the same as the other guys who are just horny and nothing more, but look at him now.

“I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable”, he stands up, ready to leave the room, “I'm sorry”

“No, you didn't make me uncomfortable”, you say, taking a step closer to him to stop him from leaving. “I was already feeling not great”, you clarify.

“Did something happen?” He asks, worried.

“No- I-”, you stop yourself from talking more, why do you actually want to talk to him about your problems? You don't even know him. “I'm having a bad day, my self esteem is kinda low so I feel like everyone is staring at every single flaw I have”

Jisung stops for a moment, malfunctioning. His head tilting to the side as he stares at you with furrowed brows.

“Exactly which “flaws” are we talking about?” He asks, making quotes with his fingers.

“I don't know”, you glance down to your feet, feeling embarrassed. “There are so many girls here who are much prettier than me”, you sigh, “oh, I'm not jealous of them, they are great. I'm a huge activist of women hyping up other women”, you add quickly. “Usually I won't let myself compare to other people, but when I'm having one of these days I just can't help to think things like: is my hair pretty enough? Should I go on a diet? Maybe I should hit the gym more often so I can look like that”, you sigh, you sound ridiculous. You are supposed to make him want to go out with you, not scare him with all your insecurities.

Jisung stares at you for a few seconds, realization hitting him. So you're human too, he already knew that, but seeing the pretty and popular y/n come out of the pedestal people built for her, makes him believe that maybe you're very different from what he thought about you.

“I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this”, Jisung clears his throat, trying to not sound like an idiot, “but I think you're pretty and even though you may have some flaws, everyone has. I can assure you yours are not in your looks”

You feel your cheeks growing hotter, that's surprising, a guy never managed to make you blush.

“But you said I'm not your type”, you pout, seizing the opportunity to tease him.

“Well, I had to say something so you would stop coming after me”, he sighs, “clearly it didn't work”

“So, will you go out with me?” You ask, hopeful and he sighs.

“Why do you want to go out with me so badly?”

“I already told you, you're cute. Also, you make me feel at ease”, it's not a lie. Jisung is the first person other than your friends that effortlessly makes you comfortable.

“Fine”, he huffs, “I already gave you my number so just text me”, he tells you and you smile, is this finally happening? Did he finally say yes?

You planned a whole date in an amusement park, it's cliche for a first date, although you never really went on a date there. You have never done this before for any guy you dated, but there's something about Han Jisung, you just want him to like you.

He's waiting for you in front of the park, looking nervous while scrolling through his phone. You bend down a bit, tilting your head to make him notice you.

“Hey”, you smile waiting for his greeting that doesn't come. Jisung is not easily impressionable but you just leave him speechless every time, he always takes a few seconds to take in your beauty before his brain starts functioning again.

That's the reaction you wanted from him and you are glad you managed to get it. You spent almost four hours getting ready, changed outfits at least ten times and did and redid your makeup over and over. In the end, you chose a natural look. You put on a tight high waisted skirt, a tank top and sneakers since you would be walking a lot. Your hair is down and your make-up is light, so it won't get smudged by hot weather.

“H-hi”, Jisung says, trying to recompose himself, he's not sure if he should comment on how pretty you look or if that would make you uncomfortable.

He can't help but think that it's wrong of him to be there with someone like you, someone totally out of his reach.

“What should we do first?” You ask excitedly, it's been years since the last time you went to an amusement park with your family.

“I think we can walk for a bit and see what catches our attention”, he says and you nod, walking into the park.

There are so many people, Jisung can't help but notice how you're looking around like a child getting to know a new place.

“Do you come often to these kinds of places?” He asks.

“Hm, not really”, you answer, turning around to look at him. “The last time was when I was a child probably”

“Oh?” He frowns. “You seemed excited, I thought your ex boyfriend must have brought you here at least a few times”

“Yeah, well, he was not really the romantic type”, you shrug, a sad smile on your lips.

Jisung doesn't like that, you always look confident and happy, he doesn't want to see you sad again.

“He is an idiot then”, he avoids your gaze, looking around while speaking, “If I had a girlfriend like you, I would move heavens and earth to make her happy”

You feel your heart skip a bit, your cheeks growing warmer and in a few seconds your whole face is burning. You can't believe Han Jisung is making you blush again, saying these words that are messing with your heartbeat.

“Should we go to the haunted house?” You ask awkwardly, trying to change the subject, pointing to the building at the end of the park. You try not looking at him, not sure if your cheeks are still red.

He hums, not really understanding why you look so flustered, he's sure you must hear this kind of thing all the time.

You two enter the house, looking around while walking into the dark. You were very confident in the beginning, you love horror movies, but jump scares are really not your cup of tea and that's the problem. The moment a doll(you assume) holding a knife with a ghost face mask pops out of nowhere you jump… into Jisung's arms. The way his arms immediately wrap around you in a protective position does something to your heart and honestly you feel hot all over.

You didn't even notice the little scares he got, or how he squeezed you every time some scary character showed up. The only thing you noticed was his unexpected strong arms embracing you the whole time until you left the haunted house.

Jisung didn't want to let you go. The moment he felt the cold breeze touching his skin, he knew he had to step back, you are not scared anymore. But he just doesn't want to. You look fragile, shy, endearing. Jisung shakes his head, he shouldn't be thinking this, he thought he would be immune to your charms, but it turns out that he understands now why all those guys fawned over you.

He tries taking a step back, threatening to get away from you but you snuggle closer to him, a hand swinging fast to your shoulder so you could grip his hand in place.

“Can- can you keep holding me for a bit?” You ask awkwardly, not really wanting to look him in the eye.

You had no idea you missed being touched this much, you never noticed how cold Seunghoon’s touch was until you felt Jisung's warm hands on you. You're embarrassed for looking so fragile in front of him but not enough for you to let go, not at that moment.

“Yeah, sure”, he tells you, coming closer again and squeezing you against his chest. “Should we walk around for a bit?”

You nod, too lost in his scent to say anything.

Jisung felt strange for a moment. He's not used to letting his instincts take control, he's a very restrained guy. But he can't help but peek at your thighs when the skirt you're wearing rides up a bit, you're tiptoeing while trying to shoot the target with the water gun you have in your hands, like that would help you win.

“Do you really want that plushie?” He asks when you lose once more. “You could probably buy a better one with the money you're spending”, he points out and you pout.

“Where's the fun in that?” You cross your arms in front of your chest. “It's so much more exciting to win the prize”

Jisung finds you cute, you are just so different from all the rumors and how he thought you would be. Other than being someone who's high and mighty or arrogant, you're cute and funny.

Defeated, he sighs, paying for another round. This time he's the one trying.

It's difficult the first time. He never played this game so he has to get used to and understand how to win.

Jisung doesn't notice but you're not looking at the booth or to the target, you're looking at his face. He looks more handsome when he's focused, he has his lips pressed in a thin line and his grip on the water gun makes you shudder just thinking about how that grip would feel on you.

After a few tries, Jisung wins, asking you to choose what plushie you want.

“That one”, you point to the big quokka hanging in the wall. “It looks a bit like you”, you say when you get the plushie, lifting enough so you can compare it with Jisung.

“I'm cuter”, he pouts.

“Definitely”, you assure him, hugging your new plushie while Jisung’s ears grow hotter.

“Should we go to the ferris wheel?” He asks, looking at the time. It'll probably be your last ride since it's already late.

“Yes!” You jump excitedly, “I never had the chance before”, you say while you two walk in the direction of the big attraction.

“Not even when you were a child?” He asks, remembering you said that was the last time you went to an amusement park.

“My parents are not very fun to be around and my little brother was too young”, you say, shaking your head, “I was never very proficient in doing things by myself so I just didn't go”, you shrug.

Jisung feels that there's more to unpack into that topic, but he's not sure if you want to talk about it with him or right now. So he just slides his arm over your shoulder, surprising you by his bold move. You can feel your cheeks growing hot, are you blushing again?

When you hear the gears turning, excitement spreads all over your body but as soon as the cabin stops in the air, you're not so confident anymore.

“It's quite high, isn't it?” you say, looking down, feeling a little dizzy.

“Are you afraid of heights?” Jisung asks, panicked, seeing your face turning pale.

“No, of course not”, you shake your head frantically while shrinking in your seat, “I can't, I'm always at the top of the pyramid in our cheer stunts”, you tell him.

A sudden wave of air brushes over the cabin, making it shake slightly and you turn even more pale if that's even possible.

“You know it's different right?” He grabs you by the arm, pulling you closer to him. Jisung slides one of his hands on your waist, squeezing you close to him and with the other hand he cups your face, making you look at him. “Keep looking at me, you don't have to look down”

Jisung doesn't know why he feels this urge to protect you, of all the people he knows, you're probably the one he thinks needs the least protection. You keep staring at him, he is pretty, his lips are plump and inviting.

“Are you going to kiss me?” You ask when he licks his lips, huge doe eyes staring at him and waiting.

“Do you want me to?” He asks back, not really sure of what to do. Jisung is not certain, his heart is beating fast and his hands are sweating, you look so beautiful, so close to him.

So when you nod, he just loses control of every part of himself that was holding him back. He's sure after this, there's no going back, he's lost forever, but maybe he doesn't mind if it means it's you he's lost in.

His lips are soft, clumsily pressing against yours. You can tell he's unsure of how to proceed then why does his grip on you make you burn? He's squeezing your waist against his body like you're going to disappear if he doesn't hold you strongly and the hand he has cupping your cheeks, slowly slides to your hair, pulling it lightly, making you whimper.

In an instant his lips are not on yours anymore, he's trailing kisses down to your neck. You shiver, feeling his warm lips against your cold skin.

“Ah, Ji-Jisung”, you gasp when he bites your neck, sucking the area so deliciously it makes you bite your lips so you won't moan.

He hears your plea, kissing you once again and you notice you are the one that didn't know how to proceed. You've been squirming in his hands this whole time without touching him at all. You take a hand to his face, caressing his cheek and the other goes to his hip, pulling you even closer to him but before you can go further, the shake of the cabin going back down takes you out of your haze. You're in public, you had absolutely forgotten about that.

You stop the kiss, giving a peck on his lips before moving away. He looks disheveled, lips swollen and eyes searching for yours in an attempt to know exactly what you are thinking. Did you like it? Did you hate it? Now that he got a taste of something he should have remained oblivious to, he's not sure he'll be able to let go.

The ride home was awkward, to say the least. You are silent the whole time and Jisung is freaking out. He can't help but think he screwed up really badly. How the hell could he make you lose all interest with just a couple of kisses? Did he go too far by giving you a hickey? Maybe you don't like this kind of thing, you're a cheerleader after all, your image is important.

You on the other hand, have too many thoughts running through your mind, never did a man make you feel so desired with just a kiss. The way he embraced you so possessively was too much for you, Seunghoon never did anything like that. You were always the one searching for his touch, for some affection but it was never quite enough. His touches never really gave you what you wanted, you always thought it was weird, you thought maybe there was something wrong with you.

But how could Jisung make you feel so many things with a simple touch? A simple kiss? You're so lost in thoughts that you don't even notice when the car stops.

“We’re here”, Jisung says, not really looking at you.

You look at him, seeing him biting his bottom lip while squeezing the wheel.

“I had fun”, you tell him, shyly. His head snaps at you, a deep scowl on his face.

“You did?” He asks confused and you giggle, tilting your head.

“Yeah”, you bite your bottom lip, leaning over him without breaking eye contact. “I thought I made it clear by almost melting in your arms while you kissed me”, you tease, seeing his ears growing red.

“I thought maybe I did something wrong, you were quiet”, he looks at you waiting for some more reassurance.

“I'm sorry”, you cup his face, caressing his cheek, “it's been a long time since I felt the way you made me feel, I needed time to recover”, you tell him, pulling him in for a brief kiss.

“Wait, but what about-”

“That's what I'm telling you”, you chuckle, bitterly, “can you imagine feeling more in a night than you ever felt in a year with someone else? It really makes a girl think”

“Ah”, he nods, understanding what you're saying now. “Then, can I call you when I get home?” He asks eagerly, now that he knows that you did enjoy your time with him.

“I'd be mad if you didn't”, you give a peck on his lips, getting out of the car and walking to your front door, waving goodbye to him.

Walking into your empty house you come back to reality. For a moment, just a moment, while having fun with Jisung, you forgot how lonely you really are. It's always been like this, you're already used to it.

Your parents always wanted a boy, so it was disappointing for them when they had a girl. They tried for years to have a boy, getting more and more frustrated as time went by. You were five when they finally made it, their desired son was born and you were left aside.

It's not like they gave you any attention before, but after your brother was born, you were completely forgotten. The first time you went to an amusement park was when you were eight. It was your birthday and you begged them to take you there but in the end you couldn't really enjoy anything. Your brother was too little to play in anything and your parents didn't really want to play with you.

You feel a single tear run down your cheek but you shake your head, you shouldn't be doing that right now. You had fun with Jisung but that's that, you don't want another heartbreak the same as with Seunghoon.

You feel your phone buzzing, taking it out of your pocket to see Jisung's name lightening the screen and an involuntary smile grows on your lips, completely ignoring what you just thought.

“Hey, did you arrive safely?” You ask, walking up the stairs.

“Yeah”, he says, not sure why exactly he wanted to call you. He already said goodnight to you, did he want to hear your voice again? Why is he being so weird tonight?

“Okay, that's good”, you chuckle, putting the phone on speaker to start undressing.

Jisung sits in his bed, he knows you're probably tired but he doesn't want to hang up.

“What are you doing?” He asks, hearing the shuffle on the other side of the line.

“I'm changing”, you answer nonchalantly, not knowing how red his whole face turns the moment you finish saying that.

He doesn't say anything, making you look to the phone to check if he's still there.

“Want some pictures?” You ask playfully, making him choke on his own breath, coughing violently.

“No, I mean we- we just had our first date- I- I don't want you to think- it's too soon”, he rambles saying all that in half a second, making you laugh genuinely while you wander around your room.

You snap a picture of yourself, sending it to him and he freezes when he sees the notification. When he opens the text though, you're wearing a cute pajama with bees stamped on it, making him laugh too.

“You're cute”, he says and you stop in your tracks.

“It's been years since someone last called me cute”, you pout, sliding under your covers.

Jisung guessed that much, your type of beauty is not on the cute side. You have sharp features, most people could say you're on the sexy side and he would too, before tonight. Now, under the cover of a popular hot girl, he found a girl who's hot and popular but can be cute and funny too.

“Goodnight, y/n”, he says, throwing himself back in the bed.

“Goodnight”, you say, feeling your eyes heavy after hearing his goodbye.

Part 2

A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback gives me motivation to keep writing.

[caitlinclarkluver22]

~ Please Please Please ~ P.B a fanfic ( sfw)

inspired by the song by sabrina carpenter

pov: smart!fem! reader x player! paige bueckers

an: so this is my first paige bueckers fanfic, the intros kinda long, but i think it came out pretty good, but there is gonna multiple parts to this, so just let me know if you’d like another one.

remember blue is flashback and purple is lyrics!!

warnings: mention of alcohol, cheating, lying, and mention of sex

“ i know i have good judgment, i know i have good taste. it’s funny and it’s ironic that only i feel that way.”

you’re a senior in college at uconn, your mostly known for being the smartest person in your classes, never failing one grade, getting higher than a 90 at all times, 85 on your bad days.

you were in calculus, to you it was light work. you didn’t really need to study often, having amazing memory and overall good attention span in class.

since you already completed 2 years of college in highschool, having your associates degree, you were already looking forward to getting your bachelor’s degree this year.

————————————————————————

you were collecting your stuff of the desk, putting it in you book bag, ready to go take a break from the series of classes you had just taken.

as you were walking out of the room, you heard someone call your name.

it was your teacher, professor zamora.

“ hey, your the one with all the good test scores right?” , he asked knowing but just wanted to make sure, to ask for a favor.

“ yes…. i am”, you shyly responded, a little nervous at the sudden attention.

“ okay good, so since you have the best grades in the class right now, i was wondering if you were free for another class period.”

free? another class period? what is he trying to imply? i know i might look naive and small, but I’m not stupid to know what men want. i am lesbian after all. although i had my suspicions, i trusted my professor.

“ yes i actually am. why professor?”

“ great! i was just wondering because my next class period is algebra, and….lets just say ive had them for a few years now…anyways, they need help. just pick the one you want and you can tutor them.” , he said praying that she would agree.

although she did have a break for the next two hours, she could spend one of them helping someone, it’s the right thing to do.

“ yes of course! i’m willing to tutor anyone that needs my help.”, you say enthusiastically, ready to help people be the best they could be.

“ great! just come back in around 30 minutes, and by then they should be here.”, your professor said, thankful for your help.

“ okay i got you.” , you said walking out of class, going to grab a bite to eat.

————————————————————————

after the short thirty minutes pass by, you start walking back to the class, praying that this goes well.

as you make your entrance through the door, you see a familiar face.

shes a blonde, tall, blue eyed girl walking to her desk, a purple nike elite backpack on her back (that looks fairly empty ), and a slow sluggish walk .

you could tell who it was from a mile away, it was paige bueckers.

THE paige bueckers.

you noticed her since in your free time u went to go watch the basketball games, cheering for your favorite player on the team, paige obviously. although you went to almost every game, you went unnoticed by her, standing in the back of the crowd just admiring how she played.

you weren’t a mega fan.

you totally didn’t scroll on tiktok, looking and saving the edits you’d find. damn she’s so attractive…

‘ah ah ah, no liking her. she’s in algebra. she’s obviously not smart, not to be mean of course. just observing.’ , you think to yourself as you look around the room, waiting for everyone to take their seats.

it wasn’t only about academics. paige was also known for hopping around from girl to girl, you know this since a couple of your friends had their fair share of dating her.

you were awoken late at night by a loud knock at your door. who could be awake this late?

as you opened the door, you came to a sad sight.

there your friend, lilly, was crying at your doorstep.

she was sobbing, her eyes swollen , puffy, and red due to the amount of uncontrollable tears.

you knew what…or should i say who this was about.

over the course of 2 months, your friend was on and off with her situationship, paige. lilly didnt know wether her and paige were a thing or not, she never knew what paige’s next move would be, little did she know that her next move would be completely ghosting her and pretending like she didn’t exist.

“ i just- i just don’t know what i did wrong. i mean i bought her things, i spent time with her, i supported her at all her games. every single one. how could i be so stupid? i’m literally one of the smartest people in this whole college and im not smart enough to realize that a girl is totally playing me.” , she sobbed grasping onto you like her life depended on it.

“ it’s okay lilly it’s okay, you deserve better.”

although lilly was your friend, karmas a bitch, she should’ve known better, if she had a wish, she would’ve never fucked around with paige ( LMAOOO ).

lilly, yes got hurt, but she was a bad person. in her past she was known for cheating, lying, and stealing. well stealing other people’s hearts of course. she would talk to them, make them fall in love, then drop them after they bought her a gift of some sort.

another one of your well known friends, keisha, always hooked up with paige. whenever paige was bored, she’d text keisha a good “ u up?” late night text , and keisha would be at her dorm room in no time, ready to have good sex.

of course, they weren’t your friends anymore, you realized soon after that lilly was a bad influence since she lied and cheated, while keisha was just to influenced in alcohol and hook up culture.

in essence, this girl was bad news, and she only liked the bad girls, so you’d obviously have to stay far far away from her….

————————————————————————

“ so how do you find x if you don’t have y?”

fuck my life.

“ paige, it’s not that hard. really. i learned this shit in seventh fucking grade, and you can’t get it. look let me show you….again.”, you said irritably, getting impatient by the second. you felt like you’ve taught her over a thousand times.

you guys were in her dorm, on her purple comforter, you were trying to teach her the literal easiest shit ever, and she couldn’t comprehend it. ugh she’s like a toddler.

“ so to find out x i have to add y and…what again?”

kms.

“ UGHHH paigeeeee”, you said, hands in your hair , frustrated with the stupidity this girl had. how could she be so smart on the court, yet so dumb when it came to math?

“ please, i need help, if i don’t pass this then i can’t play basketball. and we both really know how much i love basketball. it’s my everything. please?”, she said, her player facade fading away, showing her true and vulnerable self.

ugh those eyes….

“ …one more time paige. just try your best to get it. concentrate.”

paige nodded and smiled at her, looking down at the paper to attempt to grasp the information that she had trouble with.

————————————————————————

“ I ACED IT”, paige screamed, jumping up and down.

“ REALLY?”, you said eyes wide.

“ YES YES YES, omg i’m so happy right now!”, paige said , her eyes showing the pure raw excitement paige had.

paige then unexpectedly embraced you in a hug, it catching you off guard, but nonetheless, you hugged back.

if you knew the hug was wrong…..why did it feel so right?

you guys stood there for a solid minute, embracing eachother. you inhaled, smelling the sweet scent she radiated.

“ okay well i gotta go”, you said, sad knowing that this would be the last time that u had an excuse to spend time with her.

“ yea- um same.”, she said, giving u a slightly forced smile.

as you were walking away , sadness filling ur heart, u heard someone shout your name.

it was paige.

“ hey um, what about i take you to dinner?..you know just to thank you for all the work you’ve done to help me of course.”, she said with a hopeful look, her bright blue eyes illuminating like the pacific ocean.

how could i say no to those eyes?

“ um..you know what…yea of course. tommorow at 9 sounds good?”, you said , happier than you’d like to admit.

“ i promised’em that your different, and everyone makes mistakes. but just don’t.”

“ i’m telling you, you shouldn’t surround yourself around her, she’s a bad influence! she literally broke your ex friends hearts! both of them! paige isn’t a good girl to fall in love with.”, dominique one of your most recent friends said, stressed out about your love life right now.

“ i mean, she asked me out to dinner…”

“….she what? don’t tell me you said yes…”

“ i said yes.”

————————————————————————-

“ don’t bring me to tears when i just did my makeup so nice.”

you finished up your final touches in your makeup, when u got a text message.

pb and j

hey pretty girl

i’m here

i’m going.

as you came out your dorm, paige was there at your door checking her breath, startled by your sudden appearance, she smiled awkwardly, bringing up lego roses to your face.

how did she know that i didn’t like real flowers? and that i love legos?

your heart warmed at the sight, smiling at her, full teeth on display.

“ thank you paige, you shouldn’t have, really.”, you said, almost feeling bad that she spent money on you that she shouldn’t have.

“ no no no it’s my pleasure honestly.” , she said with a grin, sighing , relieved that you liked the gift.

“ let’s get going?”, you said.

“ whoever is last is the rotten egg!”, she yelled loudly, before running down the hall making her way down the stairs.

————————————————————————

“i heard your an actor, so act like a stand-up guy. whatever devils inside you, don’t let him out tonight.”

they’re at the restaurant, it’s way fancier than you expected. the waiter sat you guys down, and now both of you are looking at the menu.

when the waiter comes back, both of you agreed on chicken alfredo, and both of you got dr. pepper.

you guys start making conversation, talking about the things you didn’t know about eachother , and your goals in life.

————————————————————————

as you guys finished with your delicious meal, you decided that it was time to leave and go home. it was getting late after all.

as both of you walked out, the moon shining bright on your faces, the date unfortunately coming to an end, you guys talked a bit more, laughing at eachother jokes.

“ well that was fun.”, paige said, laughing, her teeth as bright as the stars.

“ yea it really was…”, you say with a smile on your face that couldn’t be removed no matter how hard you tried. a smile so permanent that it ached.

you guys gazed into eachothers eyes, her eyes taking a trip down to your lips, slowly bringing them back to your eyes once again.

“ paige i-“

you got cut off by paige, as she brought her lips to yours, sealing the night in a fond memory of the kiss you shared, the kiss that was between the two of you.

after a while, you opened your eyes and looked at her. she had her goofy smile on, looking at you with….i think love…? no couldn’t be. just lust.

“ um we should do this again. “

say no say no.

“ yes of course”, you said with a smile.

“ okay well…see you later. i’ll text you! “, paige said as she back peddled to her car, winking at you, before running to the vehicle .

god she’s such a goof.

as you got in your car, you only had one thought while having your head on the wheel, thinking about all the occurrences that had happened over the past few months. even though you knew it might end up bad, you couldn’t help but think…

please please please, don’t prove em right.

————————————————————————

WOOHOOO I FINISHED IT DONT PLAYYY!!! i was literally working on this for hours and my friend dominique was helping me with it too( literally love her )!! anyways hope you enjoy and make sure to lmk if yall want a second part or not!!! 💕💕 sorry if it’s bad ik i misspelled a couple i think and definitely misworded but not so bad to the point where you won’t get it. LOVE YAAA!!!💕

[the-boy-meets-evil]

some habits are hard to break | feat. jungkook

(where you know that jungkook is the last person you should keep running back to, but neither of you can seem to let the other go.)

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader genre: angst, smut, est. relationship rating: explicit, minors DNI word count: ~12.5k warnings: the relationship isn't healthy (but they're very human), miscommunications, misplaced hope, bad habits, unhealthy coping mechanisms, cheating (reader on unnamed boyfriend), mentions of past trauma (reader), mentions of therapy, mentions of mental health struggles (reader), explicit smut: unprotected sex (don't do this), fingering (f. receiving), oral sex (f. receiving), handjob, semi public sex (behind a closed door at a club), teasing, hair pulling, light choking, i think that's it but let me know if i missed anything

a/n: she is finally here! i did not expect this fic to take me this long, but here we are. thank you to one of my favorite humans @ugh-yoongi for reading this over and assuring me they weren't terrible, just human. this story feels personal to me so that was reassuring.

a/n 2: lauren has asked for a pt 2, so i’ll be writing that after i get through both my collabs due in august 💕 banner/divider credit: my bby @classicscreations who always comes through tagging: @pjmparadise @axialitae

Every single thought is the same. You know better than to send the text sitting on your phone. You know precisely why it’s wrong. You know that nothing is ever going to change.

Here’s the thing. You’re in a healthy, stable relationship with someone who’s good to you and for you. He’s honest and caring, funny and sweet. Despite all of your baggage, he never makes you feel less than, never makes you feel broken. This is the first time in your life that you’ve been able to lay all your shit on the table and have someone accept it unconditionally. And he always does what he says he’s going to. You’re never up waiting at 2 in the morning, wondering where he is because he hasn’t called or texted.

So, yeah, things with him are good, great even.

But…

And that’s the thing, isn’t it? As soon as there’s a but, it’s like you can’t see all of the good. It’s all just a placeholder before what may be the worst three-letter word in the English language. You wonder if it means there’s just something fundamentally wrong with you. Who looks for the “buts” of every situation? Why can’t you just appreciate all the truly wonderful things in your relationship?

Because you’ve had the one thing you’re missing. You know it exists and it’s hard to forget.

Your boyfriend is great, perfect, even, in almost every way that matters. It’s just, you’re not exactly…satisfied. And you know that you could guide him to be better for you in that way. He just seems a bit sensitive about it at times and you don’t want to make him feel less than since he never does that to you.

This is exactly why you’re staring at your phone. Paralyzed because you both want to send the text and know you really can’t. Your body remembers his, remembers the way the slightest touch sent your heart racing. You try to also remember every word he’s ever uttered to you, too, because he’s always been very clear about who he is.

It’s fucked up that you’re even considering it, beyond wrong that you typed those 5 words out in an empty conversation thread. (Even though you usually keep every conversation, you deleted this one after you got serious about your boyfriend. You say it’s to keep the temptation away, but really, how well is that working now?)

You: what are you up to?

Just like that, your need to fill your desires wins out against every other rational thought you have. Part of you hopes that he doesn’t respond. It’s been months since you last spoke and you know he’s got a short attention span. Maybe he’ll spare you having to make a final decision.

Jungkook: out getting some drinks with friends

He doesn’t. His answer comes in far quicker than you expect it to and you get that same feeling in your stomach. Like anticipation mixed with desire. You’re so fucked.

Jungkook: what are you up to?

Tomorrow you’ll look back and realize this is a chance to bow out, to realize that this is a mistake. That you hadn’t sealed your fate when you sent the first message. You could still just bow out and walk away, leave the message unanswered.

You don’t.

You: nothing, just at home alone Jungkook: what about the boyfriend? You: away for work

You know that you should feel bad now. A normal person might realize that this was destructive behavior, that you’re purposely sabotaging your own long-term happiness for instant gratification. At least, that’s what your therapist tells you.

Jungkook: I can be home in 15 minutes, I’m just around the corner

The message is really your last chance, whether you consciously think about it or not. There was no preamble with Jungkook. He assumes you’re texting him so you can come over. And he’s right, isn’t he? You weren’t exactly texting to catch up with someone you weren’t ever friends with anyway. No, you’re both adults and you know what this is. Just like you’ve always known.

You: give me 30 and I’ll be over

Was there really any other outcome? From the moment you opened Jungkook’s contact to start a text, this was the inevitable end. You can pretend that you have control and you were on the fence. But, you know the truth, and so does Jungkook. He knows it from the moment your name appears on his lock screen. This only ends one way, the same way it’s ended countless times before.

Thirty minutes later, after cleaning up and getting dressed, you stand on Jungkook’s doorstep. There’s a moment where you genuinely question if this is smart. Smart is the wrong word, you think. Of course, this is fucking stupid. You could ask 100 people and every single one of them would probably tell you to turn around. So no, this isn’t smart.  The real question is if you’re going to do it anyway.

Jungkook opens the door before you even knock and the question dies. There he is, in baggy sweatpants and a t-shirt, like the true fuckboy you know he is, and your body remembers. It remembers every kiss, every touch, every tremble. It starts to react without your permission.  By the smirk he’s wearing, you can tell Jungkook remembers too.

“Right on time,” he says, leaning against the door frame like he needs the support.

“Are we gonna have a whole conversation out here?” It’s a challenge and a mistake all rolled into one.

He doesn’t answer, just moves aside so that you can step past him. There’s a moment, as you’re stepping past him and glancing around his apartment, of nerves. Of wondering what the fuck is going on. But his apartment hasn’t changed, not that you expected it to, and neither has he.

“Want anything to drink?” he asks, moving around you to the kitchen. He looks back over his shoulder at you, a confident smirk on his lips. “We could do a couple shots.”

“Trying to get me drunk?” you wonder. Still, you follow him into the kitchen.

“No, definitely not.” His answer is swift and his eyes roam over you, appraising. “You just seem a little on edge.”

“Wonder why that is,” you huff out.

Jungkook leans back against the counter, eyes still trained on you. “If you don’t want to be here…”

“I didn’t say that either,” you respond.

There’s this weird tension settling between the two of you and you’re not really sure what to do about it. Not really sure how to get out of your head for even a second. That’s when you feel Jungkook’s hands on your hips, pulling you back against his body where he still leans against the counter.

“I don’t want you to feel pressured,” he says and dips his head to kiss along your jawline.

“I don’t,” you respond.

“Do you want me to stop?” he whispers against your skin as he continues to kiss down your neck.

The only thing that comes out for a second is a hum when Jungkook lightly sucks at the base of your neck where it meets your collarbone. “No.”

“Are you sure?” He’s pulled back now and looking you directly in the eye.

You take a breath and then another when your heart starts to speed up. The only thoughts are of his lips on yours, his fingers grazing along your body. Slowly your fingers trail up his arms and he doesn’t move at all. Just watches you and waits for you to make your decision. Leaves it all up to you.

So you do the only thing you can, the only thing you were going to do once you sent that text. You let your fingers find purchase in his hair and you press your lips hard against his. He’s turning the two of you around in an instant so it’s you pressed into the counter. The kiss is hard and desperate, like you’ve both been starved and this is the only way to solve that. His hands feel like they’re everywhere and it’s still not enough, not completely what you need. Nobody has ever set your body on fire just from kissing the way Jungkook does. It’s bliss the way your brain goes almost silent except for thoughts of him. And you know he’s just as turned on, can feel it in the way he’s pressing against you.

Jungkook kisses down your neck again and you don’t even bother to hold back the moan. When you feel him lightly sucking into your skin before pulling away, part of you wishes he’d do it harder. Wishes he’d leave a mark. Wishes for something to show what you’re doing here tonight without you having to say it. He doesn’t, though, and you know he wouldn’t even if you asked.

Instead he pulls away, smirks at your whimper from the lack of contact, and reaches for the hem of your shirt. He’s still asking permission, so you give it. Your shirt and bra disappear in record time and his mouth is back on. Softly kissing down the space between your breasts and across the underside of one. It’s too much, the way he knows exactly what you need, the way his lip ring teases you as he moves across your skin, the way he stops to just look at you when he knows he’s driving you crazy.

Well, you think, two can play at that game. Before he even realizes what you’re doing, you’re spitting into your hand and reaching inside his sweats and boxers (since he’s annoyingly still clothed). You’re slowly dragging your hand along his length, moving painfully slowly. He groans when you slide your thumb over his tip and pulls back.

“Fuck,” he says and slowly pulls your hand out.

“What?” you ask, actually confused.

“Come on, I can’t fuck you against this counter but if we don’t get out of here, I’m gonna try,” he says and pulls you along into the bedroom.

Jungkook kisses you hard and lightly pushes you back onto the bed. You prop yourself up to watch him quickly undress. You love watching the way his muscles contract with each movement, love the lean lines of his body, absolutely love everything about him. If he sees you watching him, which you’re sure he does, he doesn’t say anything. Instead he leans over you, kisses you hard again as he pulls your pants and underwear off nearly in one motion.

“Eager,” you taunt.

“You won’t be saying that when you can’t walk tomorrow,” he says.

Before you can answer, Jungkook is flipping you over so that you’re on your hands and knees, pressing down on your back so your ass is in the air. You’re a little surprised, because usually he takes his time with you. Not that you’re complaining. He moves on the bed and then you hear a bottle opening seconds before you feel the cold liquid at your entrance. He may be a lot of things, but he always makes sure you’re taken care of.

Despite his words, he still slides into you slowly and lets you adjust to him. His hands grip your hips tightly as he rolls his hips into you almost carefully, like he’s not sure if you’re adjusted. It’s bordering on painful that he’s so still.

“Fuck Jungkook, move,” you whine.

“What’s that?” he asks.

“Just fuck me, please fuck me,” you beg and you hear the low chuckle.

“Thought you’d never ask,” he says and snaps into you hard.

“Fuckkkkkk,” you draw out.

Removing one hand from your hip, he presses you back down into the mattress. You arch your back further so he has a better angle and let the pillow muffle your moans. It mixes with his own groans and the slap of his skin against yours every time he buries himself fully inside you. There’s something frantic about it and you’re sure this is what you’ve been missing. Sure this is what you need. He removes his hand from your hip again and roughly slaps your ass.

“Oh my god, Jungkook,” you yell.

He slaps your other ass cheek and it makes you scream out again. Yes, this is what you need. Someone to be a little rougher with you. Someone who doesn’t treat you like you’re going to break or worry if you can take it because he knows. He knows exactly what you can take and exactly what you like. Him pulling on your hair is only further proof of that.

And then he’s pulling you to him, so that your back is against his chest. The new angle has him hitting deeper inside you, reaching that spot that nearly has you seeing stars. Jungkook moves his hand out of your hair around your neck, gripping lightly.

“Do you like that, baby?” he whispers roughly in your ear.

“Yes,” you moan out.

“Because I fuck you the best,” he continues.

“Jungkook, fuck, just fucking choke me, please,” you beg, unbothered by how much you’re begging him.

That doesn’t need any answer from him beyond his fingers tightening around your throat. It’s the perfect pressure too, just like every other time he’s choked you while fucking. It makes you feel a little lightheaded but also like everything feels that much more amplified. Every hard thrust into your cunt pushes you closer to the edge. Every breath sounds louder. Everything is just more.

He also knows your body to know when you’re close. You almost whine when he removes his hand from your throat because you felt like you were about to come. And then he rubs a thumb over your clit, continues to make sure you come first, like always.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna come,” you shout.

“Come on baby, I wanna feel you come,” he says into your ear.

It’s the only permission you need as you let go. Somewhere, in the haze of your high, you can tell that he’s coming too, that his release comes just after yours. It’s all you can do not to slump against his body, though. His arms are strong around you as he pulls out so that both of you can lay down on the bed.

A few minutes later, after he’s cleaned you both off and you’re lying together in bed, you wonder how you’re going to extract yourself. You’ve never really felt awkward around him, so you’re not really sure why you do now.

“I should be going,” you say and start to sit up.

Jungkook is quick to pull you back down. He meets your look of confusion with nothing but desire. You think, not for the first time, it’s the kind of look that you drown in. The kind of look that ruins you.

“And just where do you think you’re going?” he asks.

“Home?” you offer.

“Why?” he fires back.

“I don’t know, Jungkook, we already fucked,” you say. Part of you is a little exasperated at having to spell it out.

“Do you really think I’m going to let you leave here when I haven’t even tasted you?” he asks.

Fuck.

(He follows through with exactly what he says. It’s slow and measured, like he wants to pull apart every thread you have one by one. Like he wants to ruin you for anyone that isn’t him. Like he doesn’t know he already has.

The lip ring is new since the last time you fucked him and you’re not sure if you’ll even be able to tell when he’s between your legs. Until you’re praising him so loudly you’re sure his neighbors must hear. Or maybe it’s just because he’s so good at getting you off. Even if tonight, he takes his time, brings you to the edge over and over before finally letting you slip over.

It’s the early hours of the morning by the time you’re both worn out. You offer to call a ride, only to have him insist you stay. It’s much too late to be going anywhere when he’d be worried if you were safe or not. So you stay and it’s the best sleep you’ve gotten in awhile.)

The wait is excruciating. Your boyfriend comes home tonight and it’s terrible timing, you know, but you also know that you have to tell him what happened. It isn’t fair to him to just go on without knowing. He’s one of the kindest people in the world, doesn’t deserve this. He’s not broken like you, something you’ve pointed out since the beginning. Maybe those intrusive thoughts were right and you just aren’t built for healthy relationships.

Although you haven’t told many of your friends what happened, you had to confide in a few. Each of them tells you that you shouldn’t tell him what happened. They say that it’s just one of those things where confessing might make you feel better, but it’ll only make him feel shitty. It’s hard to know how he’ll feel. Shitty is probably fair. But, you think they’re wrong about how you’ll feel. Getting this off your chest will just replace one weight with another. Wanting to come clean isn’t about clearing your own conscience. It’s about honesty and him having the ability to make an informed decision.

It actually goes far better than you thought, somehow. He’s hurt, how could he not be? Despite that, he’s calm in the conversation. Instead of breaking it off there and then, which is what you expect, he suggests taking a step back. It’ll allow the relationship to be less defined and maybe less serious. You can’t really believe it when he says that he’s there to work things out with you and give you the space to figure out what you need. It breaks your heart a little bit more, somehow, to see him so patient with you. You don’t deserve it.

Instead of seeing this as a failure, he wants you to see it for what he sees it as. This is just a slip, a step back. There’s been so much trauma in your life that it’s natural for you to have moments where you slip. He’s hurt, yes, he’ll admit that, but he’s not angry with you. At the end of the day, he genuinely cares for you and he’s willing to do whatever it is the both of you need in order to move forward. You both agree that therapy as a couple might be important. However, he insists that it can wait while you sort through how you’re feeling.

Overall, you think you feel okay about it. Things will look different with him for the time being, but you can actually see past this moment in time. That’s new for you. You’re feeling hopeful for the future and you even let yourself imagine a future with him in it. Maybe this isn’t the end of the world after all. Maybe this is just something you actually needed to close a chapter.

Weeks go by. Therapy is back to being once a week, sometimes twice when the sessions fit into your work schedule, and you do trust this therapist. Really, you do. She listens to everything you say and interjects in meaningful ways. It’s clear that she’s actually listening to you and giving you genuine feedback, rather than some previous therapists that only asked how something made you feel. Sitting in that office has forced you to face a lot of deep-seated issues, everything from your childhood to past relationships to the deepest recesses of your mind. Sometimes you don’t really want to relive those moments, but she’s always done a good job of explaining why you need to do the work.

But…

And there it is, again, that stupid three-letter word that brings everything to a screeching halt.

Despite all your therapist’s work, there’s a part of you that doesn’t see the future anymore. Therapy is wonderful and you’re actually really thankful you found this therapist. You’re sleeping better, you feel lighter, and the world doesn’t feel like it’s going to crush you every day. Maybe she’s a little too good at her job, though, because you’re wondering how to move forward. Your boyfriend is perfect…for someone. And you’re not sure anymore if that someone is you.

It’s been weeks and he’s still just content to take the backseat while you do whatever work you need to do. It’s stupid, you know it’s stupid, but you want him to fight for you. You want to see that he is actually upset over what happened with Jungkook. It’s not healthy, you know that and your therapist reminds you it’s not healthy. You’re doing everything you can to make your brain catch up that it’s not healthy. You can’t shake it, though. All the doubts and insecurities creep back in when he still doesn’t seem bothered.

So you do the only thing you can think of, the thing your therapist disagrees with. Well, disagrees with the reasoning, not with the idea itself. You break off the relationship. He tries to approach it in such a way that leaves the door open for you both to come back to it down the road. You don’t want loose ends, so you lie. It hurts to see his face crumble when you say you just don’t love him and he should find someone that does. It’s cruel. You hate yourself for doing it. But you think it’s easier this way. This is too comfortable and you don’t want to string him along.

Then, you make the second decision your therapist disagrees with and text Jungkook. After seeing she can’t make you see her perspective on the break-up, she suggests spending some time alone to learn more about yourself. That’s terrifying. If she could hear your thoughts, surely she would not suggest leaving you alone with them. They’re intrusive and self-sabotaging and just loud, so loud.

Unsurprisingly, Jungkook is happy to hear from you, happier still to know that you’re unattached again. Not that he minds being discreet, he’s happy to confine things to the four walls of his apartment. It’s just that he also likes to get you dressed up and go out. He’s always liked having someone pretty on his arm, even if he’s just at some local sports bar.

That’s not where you end up tonight, though. Your head is especially loud and you want some quiet. Need to get lost in something other than the potential mess you’re making of your life. When Jungkook suggests a club a friend of his owns, you say yes before he even finishes asking. The place is familiar to you and it’s perfect, in all its noise, low lighting, and crowded spaces. There’s no better way (at least as far as you know) of quieting your brain than going somewhere even louder.

It’s easy to get lost, several drinks in, as you press your back into Jungkook on the dance floor. The tight dress that seemed like such a good idea rides up your thighs now, with a little help from the light sheen of sweat covering your body and a little more help from Jungkook’s hands that grip you tightly.

Everything is familiar. You’ve been here before, to this exact club with Jungkook, more than once. And it’s the kind of easy you’re looking for now. As his hand inches further up your thigh, you press further back into him, looking to erase any space between the two of you. Tonight is just to forget and Jungkook is excellent at that.

Maybe if you were a little less drunk, you would stop his hand. You are in public, after all. As it is, you really don’t care. He likes to tease, gets off knowing someone may see, and you’re not in the mood to put a stop to it. Tonight, he seems even more daring than usual. He lets his thumb graze the thin layer of fabric at your core, likely feeling how much you want him. You shudder as his warm breath tickles your ear.

“There’s a storage closet in the back that might be unlocked,” he says, voice low with desire.

And that’s new because you’re certain that of all the times you’ve fucked Jungkook, none of them have been at the club. It’s been close, getting a little carried away under the table in one of the VIP booths, running his hand up your shirt on the dance floor, but you’ve never fucked him here. You’re also a little too tipsy to register that at the moment when all you want is him.

It’s too loud for you to answer him so you just squeeze his hand and nod. That’s all the permission he needs, anyway. Before you can give it a second thought, he’s pulling you off the dance floor and down a hallway. He looks around like he’s not completely sure where he’s going and then sees a door.

The door opens and you’re both in without another thought. Jungkook crowds your space, pressing you against the closed door and stealing your gasp with his lips on yours. Your hands find purchase in his slightly shaggy hair and one of his hands digs into your hip, holding you firmly in place. Like there’s anywhere else you would rather be in that moment.

From the moment his lips make contact with yours, you remember why you ignored your therapist and walked away from your relationship. It’s just a kiss, granted a pretty heated one, but still. It’s just a kiss and your whole body is alive in a way it hasn’t been since the last time you were with him. As he trails kisses across your jaw and down your neck, you can feel the heat he leaves behind with each touch.

Jungkook also never makes you feel self-conscious about the way your body responds to him. Not that your boyfriend, ex-boyfriend now, ever said anything about your moans, but he was also really quiet in bed. And you stopped reacting as much, because it wasn’t the best part of your relationship. Not that you want to be dwelling on that now. Not as Jungkook is working his way down your body, clearly just as turned on as you, eliciting soft moans as he goes.

When he drops to his knees in front of you, you think you may really be done for. He lifts one of your legs and rests it on his shoulder, your dress hiking up around your hips in the process. You lean back against the door for support as his tongue makes contact through the thin fabric. It’s another tease, a Jungkook specialty, and you find you don’t much care. Thankfully, he quickly moves the fabric to the side. The movements of his tongue, fast and slow and fast again, are perfect. Your brain goes blank, just the kind of blank you need. No thoughts except for his tongue on you and the bliss of it. Even the thud of the bass out in the club dulls to background noise. Every one of your senses is present in this moment in a way you haven’t been lately.

His movements quicken and you knot your hands in his hair both to find purchase and to let him know that you’re close. Not that it’s hard to tell by the increase in your moans. He knows what he’s doing and he knows that he’s got you on the edge. You want to tell him that you want to feel him inside you and can’t make yourself speak the words. A second later it doesn’t matter. He slides one finger in, then quickly adds another and your brain goes fuzzy.

He pushes you over the edge too fast, you want to savor more of this moment, more of him. You register that somewhere in your bliss coming down from the orgasm. You need more of him, more contact, more of whatever it is that makes your brain go quiet. You’re catching your breath and refocusing when you notice his pants down around his ankles. Did he get that hard just from getting you off? He’s already pulling a condom on and you’re almost relieved.

“You didn’t think I was done with you yet, did you?” His confidence drips off of him when he’s like this and you wish you were the kind of girl who had something witty to say back. You wish, at least now, that he didn’t affect you like this.

Instead, all you do is shake your head at him. You don’t trust yourself to speak and he doesn’t seem to mind. In one movement, he puts his hands on the back of your thighs and picks you up, still keeping you pressed against the door. The next second, he’s slowly sliding into you, letting you adjust. It’s the only break he gives you before setting a fast pace. Your legs tighten around him and your nails dig into his back. You’re sure they would leave a mark if he didn’t have a shirt on. Part of you hopes maybe they still will.

One of the best parts about Jungkook is that he doesn’t ever need to ask what you want, he just seems to know. He knows what you like and when you want something faster like this or when to take his time. It’s like he’s mapped your body with the way he’s able to hit just the right spots in just the right way.

Your head rolls back against the door, eyes closed and brain numb. Even then, he manages to bring you back to him, kissing up your neck until you meet his lips. The kiss is messy, capturing each of your moans as they escape. Jungkook’s grip on your thighs is as strong as the pace he’s setting and it isn’t long before you’re falling over the edge again.

A pleasant daze settles over you as you do your best to look presentable so that you can leave the club. (You don’t succeed and you definitely look just fucked, but the club is in full swing and the only people who might be able to tell are the poor workers that have to stay sober).

“Do you want to come back to my apartment?” Jungkook asks the question, one hand gripping yours while the other pulls up Uber on his phone to order a ride home.

And it’s kind of funny, how he asks like he doesn’t know the answer. In the time you’ve known him, Jungkook has been a lot of things, but he’s always been confident above all else. So it catches you off guard that he asks.

“As long as it’s okay with you,” you say and he smiles that easy smile.

“Of course,” he says.

You can’t really place the feeling that settles over you at such a small exchange, everything is crowded with the lingering effects of alcohol and sex. But something feels different and you think you like it. Almost like a part of you is waking up.

The next few weeks pass in somewhat of a blur. You’re happier than you can remember feeling in a while, much more fulfilled in all aspects of your life. Despite some reservations that your therapist has, you agree to start seeing her every other week unless something changes. You’re hoping to drop it back down to once a month but understand her hesitance to make such a big change so quickly. It would be a shame to ruin all that forward progress, after all.

Most of your free time is spent with Jungkook, a fact that your best friends are quick to point out with some version of the same cautionary advice. They want you to be careful, want you to remember your history with him, don’t want you to get ahead of yourself. It seems like they just don’t understand. Yeah, you and Jungkook have been here before, multiple times, but this is different and they just haven’t seen that.

Every other time led up to this. It took a relationship falling apart for you to realize that none of the other times with Jungkook were failures, they were just your “right person, wrong time” moments. Now the timing is right for both of you.

You knock on the door to his apartment, surprise take out in one hand, realizing belatedly that maybe you should have given him a warning of some sort. What if he was busy or had already eaten?

“Oh hey, what a nice surprise,” Jungkook answers with a smile as he steps aside to let you in.

Suddenly, you feel kind of silly for the momentary worry that showing up like this would be too much. Jungkook seems like he meets you at each point, so this shouldn’t be any different. It also helps that you’ve known each other for years and you know the way to his heart (through his stomach with only his favorite foods).

The whole thing feels surprisingly normal in a way you weren’t expecting. Jungkook makes small talk as he gets plates from the kitchen and sets them down for you to eat. He offers you a drink from the fridge, gets one for himself, and it’s just…easy. The whole thing with him is easy and you’re so thankful that you took this chance. As it turns out, he’s exactly what you need. Maybe he’s even the reason your last relationship ended the way it did. Not that you would ever say that. For all his outward strength and his image, Jungkook can be surprisingly sensitive. The last thing you’d want would be him feeling responsible for causing other people pain.

You’re not really sure why you do it, but you mention that your friends have a lot of warnings about the relationship. In what should be typical Jungkook fashion, he brushes it, reassures you that you know what’s happening and that’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter what your friends think because you’re both happy and living in the moment. You smile at that. This is definitely the best kind of happy.

Once you’ve gotten plates of food, you settle down together and Jungkook pulls up Netflix. He’s got a whole list of movies and shows that you can pick from, all things he wants to see or thinks you’d like, he tells you. And that’s sweet, isn’t it? That he sees something on Netflix and saves it in case you want to watch it together. It makes your heart constrict a little bit. It doesn’t feel like something you do with someone who’s only casual. Surely his thinking about you, when you aren’t around, is a positive sign.

You sigh happily and let him decide what it is he wants to watch. Not that the two of you ever really finish anything. It’s the thought that counts though. And Jungkook seems to be thinking of you. For a second you wonder if this is just the list he’s created for anyone he has over, you haven’t talked about seeing other people. Until you realize that most of them are thrillers. It’s your favorite genre but probably not good for generally inviting girls over. You really need to stop second-guessing everything with him.

Another few weeks go by as easily as breathing and that small part of you that’s waiting for the other shoe to drop gets even quieter. You’re not even thinking that this feels different anymore because it is different. Instead of late-night (or really any odd hour of the day) texts, you’re making actual plans on when you’re going to see each other. It doesn’t feel like a fuck buddy, it feels like someone you’re moving along with in a different way. There’s a lightness to every space of your life now, a lightness that looks a lot like Jungkook.

Of all the things Jungkook is good at, and there’s a lot, because he’s hyper-competitive and doesn’t like losing, cooking is decidedly not one. That suits you just fine, though. Cooking is an absolute favorite of yours and cooking for someone you care about makes it all that much better. It had taken a little more convincing for Jungkook agree to you coming over and cook for him, he didn’t want to be a bother, but you were glad to be here now.

“I know this isn’t really what we do, but I have a family wedding to go to, for my cousin, and I was wondering if you’d come with me? It’s kind of last minute, I know. I just wasn’t expecting to have to go alone,” you say and Jungkook puts down his fork. You’re nervous again and you’re not quite sure why.

“Sure, why not?” Jungkook says easily.

“Really?” The question is out before you can stop it.

“I like spending time with you,” Jungkook says, “we have fun.”

“We do, yeah,” you agree. “It’s just…it’s like 2 hours away, so I got a room. And you’d obviously need a suit.”

“This may come as a surprise, but I have been to a wedding or two before, so I have plenty of suits. And what kind of idiot would I be to turn down an overnight date with you?” Jungkook is smiling as he says this and it puts you at ease.

“It’s in 2 weeks, which is really soon,” you say. Jungkook pulls out his phone.

“Friday or Saturday wedding?” He’s looking through his calendar to see what he’s got going on.

“Saturday,” you say and he puts his phone down.

“That’s fine, I’ve got something going on Friday, but Saturday and Sunday are all yours,” Jungkook says.

Easy. Everything is just easy. You weren’t even really thinking of asking him to come to the wedding when you decided to cook for him. It just seemed like the right timing to ask and your cousin had just texted you that afternoon asking if she should change the seating chart. Although she said it wasn’t a big deal, you know she’s secretly going to be relieved to not change anything.

Not planning things also really is your motto these days. You weren’t planning to stay over at Jungkook’s when you offered to cook. Yet you wake up in his bed the next morning all the same, like it was a foregone conclusion the second you stepped over the threshold.

You figure now that Jungkook is coming with you to a family wedding as your date, that your friends will get off of your back about him. And most of them do. It’s been over two months of seeing him, which makes it feel more stable. Mostly, they’re happy if you’re happy and know you’re enough of an adult to handle your own life. Most days, at least. It’s just one of your closest friends that’s holding out. Not that he doesn’t like Jungkook, because he does, he’s just also been friends with you since you were kids and he’s seen how this has gone.

“It’s different, Jimin,” you say for what feels like the hundredth time.

“Have you had The Talk?” He doesn’t put quotes around it, but you can hear them in his tone anyway.

“No, we haven’t had The Talk,” you say, matching his tone. “We’re both adults, like actual adults, I don’t think it’s necessary.”

“This time around with him started with you cheating on your ex,” Jimin says in a not-so-subtle reminder. If it were anyone else, you would leave.

“Thanks, I remember,” you bite back.

“I love you, you know that. I just want to make absolutely sure you’re not going to get hurt with this. I need to know he’s in this as much as you are,” Jimin says.

“Can you ever really know that?” The question seems valid enough.

“No, everything in relationships is a calculated risk. But it’s on you to make sure you have all the numbers before doing the calculations,” Jimin says.

“Meaning?” You think you know what he means, but it’s best to be sure.

“Meaning,” Jimin says with faux exasperation, “that the talk will let you know where he stands and allow you to be on the same page. He could lie, but then that’s on him if you get hurt. If you get hurt now, when you haven’t had the talk, that’s on you.”

“Little harsh, Jiminie,” you say, using the nickname to try and soften him.

It doesn’t work and he just shrugs. “We’ve done this song and dance a few times, maybe too many times. I just don’t want to see this end badly.”

“Then have a little faith, he is coming to a family wedding,” you say.

“And some of the way the conversation went makes me a little uneasy,” Jimin admits.

“Just have some faith. This time is different, I can feel it,” you say.

There’s a lot more than Jimin wants to say, a lot more he wants you to hear. But he’s also known you for years and seen you through every one of the Jungkook phases. People change all the time, he knows that. As people grow, the things they want or need evolve. Until you have an actual chat with him, though, Jimin is not ready to say this time will be different. It’s silly because he also knows that you’re going to do what you want, you always have. Not in a bad way, you’re just very stubborn when it comes to listening to advice. All he can do is hope for the best and be there if you need a shoulder. He tries not to think when you need a shoulder. As much as he likes being right, he likes you a whole lot more and he wants this to work.

The wedding goes well, great even. Jungkook is a hot topic of conversation, with a number of your family members gushing over how attractive he is and how good you look together. It gives you a small amount of pride to hear it too, even if it shouldn’t. It’s also good to have someone to retreat to when your family gets overwhelming. The added benefit of them not knowing him is that you both can slip out of conversations much easier. He’s never met anyone in your family and they don’t have as many questions for him. You also did an excellent job of establishing that you and him are very early on in the relationship, so questions about getting more serious are off the table.

Staying in a hotel with Jungkook is also a much better experience than you thought. You’ve stayed at each other’s places countless times over the years, but you’ve never gone away somewhere together. Even though it’s only a few hours from home, everything feels different. Everything feels more intimate.  And there’s something to be said for hotel sex too. Everything is new and more exciting.

You reach out to Jimin the day after you get back to let him know how things went. And you’re a little surprised by his response. Instead of being excited for you that it’s going so well, he asks again if you’ve talked to Jungkook about where you are and where you’re going. It’s kind of a buzzkill and you’re quick to tell him so. But Jimin is stubborn too.

Jimin: I love you, you’re my best friend in the entire world, but I’m scared you’re going to end up hurt Jimin: I’ll be here to celebrate once you talk to him and I’ll say sorry when it’s all cleared up, but until then, I can’t fully support it

That hurts. It’s like he doesn’t realize that in not wanting Jungkook to hurt you, he’s hurting you instead. You shake that thought off as quickly as it comes, though. It’s not his intention to hurt you and somewhere deep down, you know he’s making sense. Jimin has been your go-to person for everything in your life since a matter of months into the friendship. The two of you were able to click in a way you haven’t really experienced with anyone else. So yeah, maybe, on some level, you get where he’s coming from and maybe you’ll understand later. Not right now, though. Right now you’re just hurt and a little angry at your best friend for not supporting you the way you want him to.

(Jimin, to his credit, does think he’s supporting you. It may not be in the way you want him to and you may not see it, but it’s the way he needs to support you. There’s a moment where he thinks that he’s the friend you deserve, just not the one you need right now. So he’ll let you be mad at him as long as you need to. Or maybe he’s been watching Dark Knight too much lately.)

This is where you know you’re not always the best at being an adult. Whether Jimin is right or not becomes irrelevant because you’re more concerned with not letting him win. It’s like he tells you something and you have to do the opposite, just because. Which, really, that’s probably something you need to address in therapy. It’s probably not a healthy approach, but it’s where you’re at for now.

Things feel…a little different. Not good different, either. At first, you were positive that it was just the lingering effects of Jimin being Jimin. Even when he’s not speaking to you, since this is not the first time he’s done this, he’s very loud. But days go by and the pit in your stomach only gets deeper. You can’t separate your own thoughts and anxieties to see if anything with Jungkook is actually different.

When you stop to think about it, though, everything with Jungkook should be different. It’s been around three months now. Three months of you spending a truly absurd amount of time together. Three months of movie nights in, dinners out, random trips to the park. Three months of ending up in each other’s bed every time you went over. Three months of you not seeing anyone else. Was he seeing other people, though? Surely not. Would there really even be time?

But…

That nasty word coming up to haunt you again. But, could you really make any assumptions where another person was involved? After all, your ex had no reason to think anything was wrong with you, no reason to think the relationship was coming to a screeching halt. Yet, it did. It did because you stopped talking to him. Well, you didn’t stop talking to him, you said a lot of words. You just didn’t say any of the ones that actually mattered.

It’s impossible to keep the last conversation with Jimin off your mind. You will never tell him he was right, but you’re also constantly wondering if it’s time for that talk. Lately it’s been taking Jungkook longer to do everything. Longer to text you back, longer in between seeing each other, longer to come out of his phone if he checks it while you’re hanging out (something he never used to do).

And, okay, from the outside, you know how any of those things look. It’s just, you’re still really happy and you’re not really looking to give that up. You think that maybe what’s best, for now, is just to take a slight step back, not be the one to reach out to him and make plans. Either he’ll make plans with you or you will have the final push to have a conversation you should have had weeks ago. (Really, you should’ve had this conversation before you blew up your life, but who’s counting?)

Jungkook: hey, things have been kinda crazy with work, but can i see you tonight?

Which answers that, doesn’t it? You ignore your smarter thoughts, most of which are driven by Jimin’s words playing on repeat, and answer quicker than you should. Even though you offer to stop on your way to pick food up, Jungkook says he’s already picking something up and to just meet him at the apartment.

It’s all different now. Before, when things were only happy, you’d be excited that he knew you well enough to pick up takeaway for the both of you. Now, you wonder if he really has been busy with work. There’s something about the text that implies something’s shifted. You hate it and you want to just go back to before. Maybe tonight will be the perfect chance for that.

It’s not.

The silences are awkward and what’s worse is that you can’t tell if Jungkook feels awkward about it as well, or if it’s just you. Actually, what’s worse is you don’t know which you’d prefer. Then there’s this weird space between you while you’re watching a movie. It’s like you’re not really close enough to cuddle and you’re not really far enough away for it to be a normal, friend-sized space between you. It’s just this awkward limbo and you’re trying really hard not to overthink the space being a metaphor for where the two of you are in this weird relationship.

Jungkook is on his phone a lot throughout the movie too, which only worsens the way you feel. He says he’s still got a lot going on at work, that they’re in very real danger of missing deadlines and he’s so sorry. The rational part of you really wants to let it be that. The louder part of you, the one you know is irrational, can’t leave it alone. At least internally. You know you can’t say anything out loud and have it come across right. Your internal monologue is another story, though.

But, that’s the thing, isn’t it? You made a lot of assumptions about where you were with Jungkook, about what the two of you were doing, about it being a relationship. The reality is you’ve been fucking regularly for months now and haven’t bothered to define things. It was perfect at the beginning, when Jungkook insisted that the two of you knew what was happening and what other people thought didn’t matter. It made you feel like it was you against everyone else. Which should’ve been a clue. A relationship should never put you against the people outside of it. A healthy relationship should be able to integrate into your regular life.

You don’t stay over at his place that night. Jungkook offers and even makes it seem like he wants you to. You might even believe him if he didn’t mention getting up early for work and checking his phone. That annoying voice in the back of your head is shouting danger, danger, danger. The ugly thoughts wonder if he actually wants you to stay at all or if he just doesn’t want to be the bad guy for sending you home.

He gives you a kiss in the doorway and you’re on your way out. The last little bit of positivity in the back of your mind is hoping he’ll change his mind, that he’ll come rushing out and say he’s been stupid. Of course he wants you to stay and of course it’s worth it being tired at work tomorrow because he’s missed you, things have been off, and he wants to make sure he fixes them.

But, he doesn’t do any of those things. The doubts firmly take hold of your brain.

The next day, you’re still thinking over what you want to do when you get an unexpected text from him. He’s got a function after work, the kind of thing where you have to go to a bar and pretend you want to be socializing with coworkers off the clock, but it’s okay because the boss usually buys a few rounds. It’s the kind of thing someone might ask their partner to come to, so they’re not so bored.

Jungkook’s message is clear. He wants to see you. After he’s done with the work function, which he warns might not be until later. So he understands if it’s too late for you to come over since it is still during the week and you have to work tomorrow. He seems genuinely excited when you say you’ll definitely still come over and your heart constricts for a second.

You need to set your phone aside, just for a second, just long enough to let your heart settle back down, because you’ve made up your mind. It’s time (past time, honestly) that you have a real conversation with Jungkook. This last exchange proves it. You’re back to being the girl he calls up after a night out at the bar, the booty call for sex. Admittedly, it is the best sex you’ve ever had, but that’s not the point. For a bit, you were the girl that he made plans with. And, yeah, he’s asking you before he goes to the bar if you’ll be there after. But, the fact is, it’s still same day and it’s not really anything more than a hook-up text.

The text from Jungkook letting you know he’s heading home comes and you take a couple shots to give yourself the confidence to go through with The Talk. You weren’t planning on driving anyway. No matter how this goes, you’re not planning to head home afterwards so having your car seems more inconvenient than anything.

Apparently, Jungkook only beats you there by a few minutes, which might’ve bothered you in any other situation. The way he says it sounds accusatory in your mind. All you can see now is talking before you lose the little bit of liquid courage you have.

“Do you want to watch a movie or do you just want to…” Jungkook asks, trailing off suggestively.

That pit in the bottom of your stomach worsens. The unfinished question hangs between you like a glaring sign saying he just wants to fuck you. It all just feels really cheap and like another waste of your time. Just another in a long line of mistakes. Only one way to find out, though, and so you take a deep breath and dive in.

“Actually, I kind of wanted to talk to you,” you say and that brings him up short.

“About what?” Jungkook asks.

He seems defensive. It’s all wrong. Something in you had been holding out hope that this would go exactly the way you wanted it to. That hope gets harder to hold onto.

“Just…this, us,” you say, hating how you sound so unsure.

“Us?” Jungkook asks and somehow that makes you angrier. Is he being fucking stupid on purpose?

“Yeah, Jungkook, us,” you say with more bite than you intended. “We’ve been doing this dance for, what, like 3 or 4 months? What are we doing, exactly?”

Jungkook’s confused. He gets this look on his face sometimes, like he’s trying to work out a really complex calculus problem and just can’t make things make sense. It makes him look younger, more innocent. It makes you want to protect him. But you can’t afford to think that way, and he doesn’t need to be protected.

“We’re just, I don’t know, we’re hanging out. We’ve been having fun, you know, everything is just easy, which is nice,” Jungkook says.

“Just hanging out and having fun? What, are we back in college?” Your voice raises an octave because, despite all your planning, you really aren’t ready for this.

“I’m not really sure what’s happening here,” Jungkook admits.

“I’m just confused,” you admit in return. “Like we’re always together, we go out on dates. You came with me to a family wedding for fuck’s sake.”

“Yeah, because I like hanging out with you and the wedding seemed important to you,” Jungkook says.

“It was important but still, what is this?”

Jungkook really still looks helpless and you’re constantly reminding yourself not to take care of him. It’s not what either of you needs. “Why does it have to be something defined? Why does there have to be this big deal?”

“Because we’re grown now, because I can’t keep blowing up my life for…” you start, but cut yourself off, quickly closing your mouth again.

“No, blowing your life up for what? For me?” Jungkook asks and you look away, unable to see him looking at you like that. “I never asked you to blow up your life for me.”

“You didn’t exactly turn me away that night either. You knew I was in a relationship,” you say and he scoffs.

“Yeah, I did know. But last time I checked, it’s not my responsibility to make sure you don’t cheat on your partner. I wasn’t the one in a relationship,” Jungkook says.

“No, because you’re never in a relationship, you’re always just having fun,” you say, voice dripping with disdain.

“And what’s so wrong with that? I’ve never been anything but honest about exactly who I am and what I want,” Jungkook says.

“People change all the time! Excuse me for thinking you’d grow the fuck up and realize actually being with someone isn’t that bad,” you say and Jungkook rolls his eyes again.

“What do you think I’ve been doing? I know being with someone isn’t bad. We’ve been having a great time for months until whatever the fuck this is,” Jungkook says.

“And how many other girls have you been having a good time with at the same time?” The question is out before you can even figure out if you want to ask it.

Opposite you, Jungkook rolls his lips together, like he’s trying to give himself a minute before answering. He can have a short temper at times.

“I’m not really sure why the answer to that question matters,” Jungkook says and you shake your head.

“I should’ve known,” you say.

“None though, for the record. Like I told you, I’ve been busy at work. So, I’m either there, working out, playing video games, or with you,” he says and you come up short.

“What?”

“Don’t take that the wrong way,” Jungkook says quickly. “I haven’t fucked anyone else in months, and I haven’t wanted to either. I’ve been having a great time with you. But, that also doesn’t mean this is something more than it is.”

“Meaning?” The balloon of hope pops just as quickly as it formed and you’re feeling even worse than before.

“Meaning,” Jungkook starts. “I don’t want…this. I don’t want to be fighting with you about some bullshit definition of what we are or where we’re headed. I like you, I do. But my answers to those still haven’t changed from the first time we hooked up 7 years ago. I don’t want that super committed relationship with expectations and check-ins and eventually marriage. I don’t want a house and kids and a white picket fence so the dog doesn’t get out.”

“You make it sound like a death sentence,” you say, completely deflated.

“I don’t mean to, it’s just not for me. It’s not what I’ve ever wanted and I’ve never kept that a secret,” Jungkook says. “I mean, I don’t know, maybe it is like a death sentence for me.”

“It feels like a slap in the face,” you admit and Jungkook bristles at that.

“Why? Because I don’t want the same things as you?”

You struggle to find the right words because that’s not what you meant. “Because you must have known it’s what I wanted and yet we still kept going.”

“I guess I figured you heard me when I said, over and over again, that it wasn’t what I wanted,” Jungkook says. “I figured you heard me and you could make your decisions on what you wanted.”

“It just seemed like…” you start and frown. “We’re always together, it felt like more.”

“So you just assumed that it was something more without even asking me about it?” Jungkook asks and gets a glare in response.

“Okay, that’s a little extreme,” you say.

“Is it? I can see it. You’re mad at me, which I get, kind of,” Jungkook admits. “But also, I don’t get it? Because none of this had to happen. If you’d talked to me instead of building it all up in your head…”

“Wow, that was kind of a dick move,” you retort and he shakes his head.

“Or is it a dick move to create a whole relationship in your head and then make me the bad guy for not being on the same page?”

That brings you up short again. Does he have a point? Is that what you’ve been doing all this time?

“I do actually care about you,” Jungkook says. “I know that may be hard to believe, but I do. It’s also really fucked up to create a whole world in your head and then turn me into the bad guy for not being on the same page. I always said we were having fun, that it didn’t matter what friends thought, that we’re just going a day at a time.”

“Because you knew, Jungkook, you had to,” you say. He furrows his eyebrows at you. “You’ve always said things like that and for what? What reason do you have to constantly remind me what this is if you don’t think there’s confusion?”

“Once again, it is not my job to force a conversation you may want to have. Weren’t you just saying we’re not still in college? That goes both ways,” Jungkook says.

Round and round and round in circles you and Jungkook go. You’re mad at him for something that he may not even be able to control, something that you’ve always known about him. And you’re mad that he’s known you probably weren’t on the same page for a while. He’s mad that you’ve had so many of these conversations in your head or with friends without cluing him in. He’s mad that he feels like the bad guy.

The whole fight feels pointless, honestly. You both are mad at the other and maybe you both have a reason to be annoyed. Maybe he has a point and maybe you need to take a step back to examine some of the decisions that you’ve made too. Maybe he’s not the only one bringing this house of cards crashing to the floor.

And maybe that’s not something you want to deal with tonight.

The rational part of your brain knows you should leave and call an Uber straight to Jimin’s apartment. That same part knows that even if he has someone over, he’ll drop everything to make sure you’re okay. He won’t even start the I told you so until tomorrow. Because Jimin can be a giant pain in the ass when he wants to, but he’s got the biggest heart in the world. Going to Jimin’s is absolutely the right decision.

That’s why you call an Uber and head to the bar.

After a few drinks, the empty seat next to you is taken by a stranger with fluffy hair and an easy smile. Despite your protests, he takes over your tab so that you can keep drinking. It’s a bad idea, you know it’s a bad idea, and you don’t really care. You don’t really have any room for good ideas right now.

For his part, he actually seems like a decent guy, if you were sober and present enough to notice. He tells you his name, his job, about his friends. You think he even mentions movies he likes. Nothing about it feels like the normal situation at a bar. Then again, it’s a Wednesday night, not exactly prime time to be out picking someone up.

The next morning, you wake up in a too bright room in an unfamiliar bed and immediately start piecing things together. The conversation with Jungkook and your subsequent decision to get completely shit-faced come rushing back. A sense of shame washes over you. This is the part where some attractive guy, usually one you somehow know, walks into the bedroom, maybe wearing just a towel, and you realize what you did.

Except this isn’t a movie, thankfully, and somehow you’re actually clothed in the bed. You’re in an oversized t-shirt and gym shorts, but you also still have your bra and underwear on. Likely a sign that nothing happened beyond you getting embarrassingly drunk last night. Actually, looking around the room, it looks more like a guest bedroom than the master. Did you actually manage to find a decent guy when you were hellbent on making bad decisions?

You aren’t really in the mood to figure any of it out. Your clothes are folded up beside the bed and, when you get up, you hear the shower running. It’s the perfect time to leave without having to have an awkward conversation. And since you were at your quota for those, you grab your phone from beside the table and slip out, thankfully unseen.

First up, your text thread with Jimin. Which is a mistake, of course you had texted him and of course it was barely coherent. But bless Jimin, honestly, because you see he had taken care of calling you out of work. Actually, bless him for having all your passwords and being able to sign into your email to send the message. You know part of him calling you out is also so that he can carry out his Jimin-approved therapy, but you’ll take it. You’ll even take him telling you he was right.

In a slightly uncharacteristic move, Jimin is waiting outside your door when the Uber drops you off. He’s already been shopping for the essentials and he’s got his arms open for you to collapse into him before even crossing the threshold into the apartment. There’s nothing on his face except for care and concern, which really isn’t surprising. His beating you to your own apartment may be surprising, but him being the best friend you’ve ever had isn’t.

Everything kind of pours out of you at once when you and Jimin sit down on your couch, the tears, the self-loathing, the anger, the confusion, the pain. So much pain. Pain over your ex, pain over Jungkook, pain over past shit that you really thought you were over. It’s like the past months with Jungkook were just a bandaid, putting off the day you would eventually feel everything. There’s no putting it off anymore though. Now you’re in it and you’re so thankful for a friend like Jimin to hold your hand.

He’s surprisingly quiet throughout the whole thing. He listens to your thoughts, comforts you during the gaps in speaking, makes sure you have snacks and something to drink, keeps music playing quietly in the background because he knows you hate the silence. He asks questions that are gentle, nothing too heavy or accusatory. The only time he gets firm is when you cry about not deserving a friend like him.

“Yeah, you can be an asshole sometimes, but don’t ever let me catch you talking that way about yourself,” Jimin says, unmoving. “You’re human and we all make mistakes. We learn and we move forward. I won’t let you be mean to yourself, though. That’s what you don’t deserve.”

Once you feel like you’ve said everything that you could possibly say, Jimin informs you that you’re taking tomorrow off as well and that he’ll be staying over. Just like when you were in college. The order for the night was trashy TV and junk food and no wine for you because you’re still hungover and no talking about feelings at all. You can pick all that up again tomorrow, but tonight is about giving your brain a break.

It takes much longer than you expect to really come to terms with what happened between you and Jungkook. You haven’t seen him since you walked out the door. In fact, you hadn’t even texted him until reaching out yesterday to see if he was willing to meet up. It wasn’t to work through things, though, as much as it was for you to heal. And hopefully for him to heal as well.

The past few months have been some of the scariest and most rewarding of your life. You’ve never really been alone, separate from a partner. You’ve gone from one relationship to the next for as long as you could remember and ignored anyone suggesting to take time nearly as long. The fight with Jungkook had been a wake-up call, an unwelcome one at the time, but one that you can now see the value in. It forced you to really look at yourself, at your choices, at everything that led you to that moment, to learn what you actually wanted.

And you don’t really know what you want, but you think it’s somewhere between your ex and Jungkook. Yes, you want something stable and comfortable, someone that you know and that you can rely on. At the same time, you want someone that will challenge you, excite you, keep you on your toes. It was unfair of you to put all that onto Jungkook. Whatever mistakes he may have also made, you want to own yours. Part of you knew that he was never going to be what you needed him to be and rushed forward head first anyway.

Everything led you to this point now, where you wait for Jungkook to show up. He had replied quicker than you expected and seemed happy to meet, despite you being clear on needing to talk to him. Maybe there were things he needed to say too.

The tinkling of the bell over the door catches your attention and you watch Jungkook walk through the doors, somehow exactly the same. It’s only been a few months, you remind yourself, not like he could change entirely.

The next part feels awkward, how do you greet him? You stand, considering what to do, when he saves you the trouble and goes in to give you a quick hug. Nothing too serious and also nothing too formal.

“Thanks for meeting me,” you say and he smiles.

“Of course,” he says. “I’ve been thinking about everything that happened too, honestly, so it felt like a good time.”

And just like that, it’s easy to talk. Really talk. Jungkook lets you go first and you lay out everything you’ve learned over the past couple months. He lets you make your apologies and makes his own. You’re able to take ownership of the mistakes you make, because you really understand them after months working through your shit, and feel like he’s forgiven you for how you handled things. You know that you can never fully expect to get closure in life, but this feels close. It feels like you can actually close the door on a chapter to move forward.

Apparently he’s been doing a lot of work on himself too. He admits to knowing that you were in deeper than he was and letting it go on anyway, something he’s not proud of and something he hopes you’ll forgive. He’s not there yet but he’s working on better communication, letting partners know what he can give and what he can’t. He’s trying to figure out what it is he actually wants and what he doesn’t. Even though you don’t need him to say it, he also wants you to know that, as cliche as it sounds, it wasn’t you. Not entirely at least. He got so caught up in how good the physical side of things was that he didn’t consider how you were both hurting each other.

Neither one of you is really sure how to leave things. Part of you, and you can see part of him too, wants to ask if there’s a way to move forward as friends. He’s been part of your life on and off for the past 7 years, since meeting when you were only 18 years old. You take the plunge, though, and say that he’s always going to have a place in your heart. You’re just not sure he can have a place in your life, at least not now. There’s a moment of relief on his face. Like he’s happy you were the one to make the call because he isn’t sure he could. He really does have a lot of work to do, he says.

“Do you know him?” Jungkook asks as the conversation is naturally winding down.

You turn your head to follow his eyes on a man wearing dress pants and a nice shirt. He seems caught up in whatever he’s reading on his laptop, slightly shaggy hair slipping into his eyes. You’re about to say no when he looks up and meets your eyes. There’s something…familiar about him. Like you know him from somewhere that you’ve forgotten. Almost like the memory is hazy and you can’t fully grasp it. He smiles, a really nice smile, and then looks back down at his laptop.

“I don’t think so,” you finally answer.

“He keeps looking over here,” Jungkook comments. You look for any sign of anything negative on his face, but it isn’t there.

“Yeah, I don’t know, if I do know him, I can’t figure out from where,” you admit.

“Maybe you should say hi,” he says and you just smile.

“With you here?” you ask.

Jungkook smiles with a shake of his head. He’s standing up the next second. “I actually have to go to an appointment with my therapist.”

“I’m proud of you,” you say and stand as well to give him another hug. Slightly less awkward this time.

“I’m proud of you too, proud of us, really,” he says.

“Take care, Jungkook,” you say.

“You too,” he answers with a smile.

Just like that, he’s heading out the door. He looks back once to smile at you and you wave. You’re wondering if that’s the last time you’ll see him. Maybe it is and maybe that’s exactly how it should be. Things feel better now, easier. There’s no lingering doubts and even though you know you still have a ways to go, you think that you can really do it this time.

But before you can retreat further into your own head, a voice breaks through your thoughts.

“This seat still taken?”

You look up to find the man that Jungkook asked about moments earlier and that’s when it clicks. Yes, you do know him and you finally remember from where. The world certainly works in mysterious ways.

i hope you liked it, it was definitely a ride writing it <3

[maturemenoftvandfilms]

My Top 10 list

Favorite Daddy Sex Scandals: Part III

Whether rumored or proven fact, these are a few of my favorite Daddy Sex Scandals.

10. Rex Ryan Foot Fetish

Back in 2010 with the New York Jets are on the verge of making the playoffs, but the focus was off the field as coach Rex Ryan is being asked whether his wife, Michelle, posted foot-fetish videos on the Internet. Ryan never denied report that shows a number of videos of a woman who looks very much like his wife showing off her feet while a cameraman -- who sounds like Ryan -- talks to the woman. Years later, he would admit his love of feet.

Sure, this is mild compared to others on this list, but I like Rex. And I can respect a man who loves his wife… and feet.

9. Tampongate

If there’s a scandal you think of in association with Charles, it’s probably this one. This situation involved Charles, a six-minute phone call and some racy banter between the then Prince of Wales and his mistress, in which he expressed a desire to be reincarnated as Camilla’s Tampax. While Charles was newly separated from Princess Diana at the time the story was published in 1992, the call was recorded five years earlier when he was still very much married, and Camilla was still Mrs. Andrew Parker Bowles. Tampongate tanked Charles’ popularity and Camilla a target for scathing press attention. It’s also thought to have accelerated his divorce.

This proves my theory, no matter what you say about Camilla's looks, her pussy is grrreat.

8. Seventh-term U.S. Congressman Caught Cheating

Republican U.S. Rep. Jeff Duncan said he will not run for an eighth term in his solidly Republican South Carolina district. Probably because his reputation for conservative family values was diminished last year when his wife filed for divorce, saying the congressman left her and was having a sexual relationship with a lobbyist. She said he had been unfaithful before during their 35-year marriage. Apparently, Duncan plans to marry said DC DC lobbyist with whom he's currently living with. SCANDALOUS.

Well… he did look like he would/could be into fuckery.

I just wish it was with me.

7. Sweden’s Carl XVI Gustaf

In 2010, a book on King Carl XVI Gustaf’s private life alleged he was a philanderer and a regular at sex clubs hosted by infamous Mafia boss, Mille Markovic in the earlier years of his reign having had numerous affairs with younger women. He had a secret love affair in the 1990s with Camilla Henemark, a Nigerian-Swedish pop singer and he visited exclusive strip clubs during foreign visits; in Atlanta during the 1996 Olympics (spending two hours in a room alone with a stripper) and in Slovakia in 2008. And after one big dinner ­celebrating a successful elk hunt, he is said to have enjoyed sex with two women at the same time. Claims he never denied.

OK, now I want to fuck him more.

6. Ex-Senator Accused of Sexual Misconduct

David Boren was a governor, a three term United States Senator and the president of the University of Oklahoma. He resigned from his last post after a sexual-misconduct investigation. Even more accusations spanning decades, through Boren's time as a US Senator and Governor which describe he allegedly sexually harassed male aides during his time in Washington. During his campaign for Senate in 1978, he was accused of being gay. Boren denied this, swearing on a family Bible at a news conference that he was not gay or bisexual. He's married. But… where there's smoke, there's fire.

Now sexually harassing people is wrong, but if Boren was sexually harassing me. I’d think I’d hit the jackpot. What? I had a thing for him back when he was a senator. Don’t judge me.

5. Bobby Petrino Motorcycle Scandal

Back in in 2011, the then-51-year-old, Arkansas Razorbacks head coach, Bobby Petrino, a married father of four, had maintained an inappropriate relationship with Dorrell, who was 25 years old at the time, for a "significant" period of time. At one point, Long said, Petrino had given Dorrell a $20,000 gift. All this came out after his now-infamous motorcycle crash in 2011, amid the scandal that led to his firing as the Razorbacks’ head coach. Sadly, the only way I’d catch his interest is if I was woman, blonde, a former volleyball player and into riding motorcycles.

Wait a minute, I can dye my hair, I did play volleyball recreationally and I did ride a motorcycle a few times. Now lets see if I can get him to like dick.

WHAT. I can dream.

4. The Prince and The Sex Offender

Accusations including the association with convicted sex offenders Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, the groping of a woman’s breast and underage sex with a then 17 year old Virginia Giuffre. Throw in he’s an entitled, arrogant asshole and the 72 teddy bears on the bed thing. He had to be stripped of his military and royal titles, resigned from public duties and is living in recluse with his ex Fergie. Andrew has denied any wrongdoing, including in his settlement with Giuffre in 2022. It was a fall from grace for the 64-year-old, who was once second in line to the throne.

3. Bonneville Pegged

Downton Abbey star Hugh Bonneville allegedly hired renowned prostitute and ex-Big Brother star Helen Wood and took out a court injunction to keep it a secret. But Wood broke the cardinal rule of prostitution when she outed Bonneville back in 2012. She also said he was an was a disgusting kisser. He kissed like a virgin and told how she asked the man if he wanted her to use a sex toy on him and that he “eagerly agreed”.

After hearing this, I'll never look at Hugh or his ass in the same way again.

2. The Kraft Day Spa Scandal

In February 2019, Robert Kraft, the billionaire owner of the New England Patriots was charged with soliciting a prostitute. Kraft proves a theory of mine that if a man who was married for a long time (over 45 years) and loses his wife by divorce or in this case, death. Would go crazy for some new strange. He’s fucking a twenty something model/wanna be actress, getting hand jobs at cheap massage parlors and hanging around rappers. Strippers/groupies anyone. And included in all that, I bet he experimenting in man on man sex. You can’t tell me he hasn’t had his dick sucked by a man. By now he's settled down in his marriage to new wife, 32 years his junior.

I ain't mad at him. I'm just mad they didn't release the tape of him in the massage parlors.

1. The King and The Servant

Not to be confused with 'Cash for Titles' scandals, but both involve His Majesty and his former palace valet, Michael Fawcett, one of his closest advisers. Charles has been dogged by gay rumors for decades ever since his marriage to Princess Diana hit the rocks. It’s well known that throughout his 15-year marriage to Di, Charles was carrying on with the wife of one of his close friends, Camilla Parker-Bowles, whom he ultimately wed in 2005. But allegedly, a former palace servant claimed to have seen then Prince Charles and Fawcett having sex when he brought the monarch his breakfast. Hell, even Di had her doubts about the Prince’s sexuality when she heard about the allegations.

Looks like all the proof to these claims has disappeared (lost tape recording of these claims) or died (the servant and Diana ). Do I think it's true. Lets just say, Charles looks the type to experiment.

Why is it #1? It has spawned many a fanfiction featuring His Majesty.

[ereana]

Wriothesley X Lyney - Take my coat

Lyney bit back a curse as another cold gust of air made his legs tremble from the chill. The outfit he wore for performances was gorgeous, Chiori had truly outdone herself, but it was not what he would have chosen to wear for a lengthy evening mission. Especially a mission that involved sitting in the middle of the ass end of nowhere staking out a rundown old farmhouse.

But he hadn’t had the luxury of choice. Father’s message to him after the show had been clear; the target was moving tonight and she wanted this situation dealt with before the morning. Lyney wasn’t stupid. 

In his haste to leave he had remembered to grab his cloak off the hook, admittedly after Lynette had told him to take it as he was about to jump out a window, but even that was inadequate for the conditions he now found himself in. It was meant for short walks through the city at night not to shield him from the sharpness of the wind’s bite as he huddled against a ruined section of stone wall.

It had been two hours and the only movement had been from a lost sheep who had wandered onto the premises and started eating the overgrown grass. The urge to use his vision is growing harder to ignore but he can’t risk the light revealing his position.

He pushes down his rising irritation as best he can and tries not to think of the hot meal that his siblings would be enjoying back home without him. All of this he could have born with only the most minor grumbling if it hadn’t been for-

“What did that sheep ever do to you? Is there some sordid personal history that I should be aware of?” 

For his temporary — the word felt like a prayer for salvation — partner. 

Duke Wriothesley. Lord of the Fortress of Meropide. Prison warden. And the most insufferable man that Lyney had ever had the displeasure of meeting.

He sat near the edge of the wall, occasionally peeking his head around the side to check the scene, wrapped in his usual coat that was undoubtedly better at keeping him warm than any piece of clothing that Lyney was currently wearing.

Lyney scowls at him. Because he can. Because there’s no-one here he needs to pretend for. Because all that donning his usual mask would do was make Wriothesley try to rip it off his face. The man had an odd obsession with denying Lyney the familiarity of the persona he’d spent years cultivating; provoking and prodding him until the anger that simmered underneath erupted in full force.

“You may not be familiar with the concept of a stake out, Your Grace, but a key element is remaining quiet and undetected.” Lyney says tightly, turning his eyes back to the farmhouse even as his focus remains locked on the predator beside him.

Wriothesley looks unimpressed. “Don’t give me that. We’re far enough away that whispering isn’t going to be overheard and there isn’t anyone the bastard could be working with that could escape the pair of us.” Another breeze of night air makes Lyney’s hands shake. “So what’s the story between you and the sheep.”

“Just because you have the attention span of a toddler doesn’t mean it’s my job to entertain you.” Lyney flexes his fingers and winces at the stiffness. 

“Funny, isn’t that exactly your job.” Wriothesley shuffles closer until Lyney can feel the warmth radiating from his body. “Or is the Great Magician too proud to extend his services to an ex-criminal like myself?” 

Every word is drawled out in that deep voice that sets Lyney’s teeth on edge like nothing else. The same voice that had once mocked him in the depths of that metal tomb under the waves and held his siblings’ lives over his head as a bargaining chip.

It was just his luck that the fucker they were after had to involve the Fortress; a merchant who had attempted to cheat both organisations and run away with a tidy sum. With Wriothesley’s boat being the only back-up plan that Fontaine currently had for dealing with the prophecy, Father was keen to keep things civil for the time being. When Wriothesley had demanded a joint endeavor to deal with the scammer she had acquiesced gracefully.

Lyney had bristled at his explanation where he outright stated he didn’t trust the Fatui not to take all the money for themselves but all that had earned him was an amused smirk curling across Wriothesley’s face.

I look forward to working with you Mr Lyney.

“Why are you even here? Surely there are hundreds of other guards you could have asked to do this.” He snaps, pressing back harder against the wall in a vain attempt to shelter from the wind.

Wriothesley chuckles and leans in until their shoulders brush against each other. He’s so stupidly big that he looms over Lyney even when they’re both sitting on the cold ground.

“Oh please, we both know if I’d done that you’d have the fool wrapped around your finger in five minutes flat. No, you’re too dangerous for me to give this anything less than my personal attention.” The way Wriothesley says dangerous sounds like a compliment, it feels like one with the way it warms Lyney’s cheeks.

He huffs and looks down at his hands, itching to summon a few sparks or a few cards to keep his fingers busy. The next gust of wind makes him shiver, the cold fully setting into his bones. If he gets sick he’s going to—

A heavy, warm familiar coat drops over his body. Instinctively he clutches at it, pulling it tight to his chest before reality reasserts itself and he looks over disbelievingly at Wriothesley. Who looks remarkably unbothered in only his shirt and black bandages over his forearms.

“What are you—”

“This is going to end in fighting no matter what happens. You know that. I know that. I’d rather not have to check that my partner can take care of himself or if he’s too busy shaking to properly shoot an arrow.” Wriothesley answers with a careless shug,

It’s a weak explanation and Lyney doesn’t miss the way gray eyes glint with satisfaction when he curls his fingers in the fur before twisting to put the garment on properly.

“Whatever.” He grumbles sourly, which does nothing to hide the way he wraps himself in Wriothesley’s coat, sinking into the blessed heat with a tiny sigh.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so terrible to keep waiting a little longer.

[snwusberry]

cry for love

pairing: yeonjun x reader x wooyoung

genre: angst, fluff (if you squint real hard)

warning(s): language, food/eating, alcohol consumption, intoxication, a lot of crying, toxicity (yeonjun is a lil toxic ngl), trust issues, cheating mentioned but no one actually did, a lot of tears. love square my dudes. pov changes (sorry). there are many errors. i will try and fix them as soon as possible.

wc: 7k

notes: this is by far my longest fanfic (i had to bust out my laptop for this one) and i'm not gonna lie, for someone with a short attention span, this was quite difficult to write but i wanted to step out of my comfort zone so here it is. i hope you all enjoy this one

playlist:

cry for love - baekhyun

movies - conan gray

the cut that always bleeds - conan gray

like i need you - keshi

i don't - sabrina claudio

bleeding love - leona lewis

reader pov

"this is the third time in a row now yeonjun. how many times is she gonna rock up at your apartment drunk?" i ask him, looking at the sleeping girl on the sofa. she’s a little too at peace for someone whos ruining my night right now.

"she comes here because she's most familiar with me. who else is supposed to help her?" yeonjun defends and i roll my eyes, not having any of it. this not the first time this is happening.

"her other friends. it's funny how she's got other friends, isn't it?" i sarcastically remark but he just returns a stern look.

"quiet down, you're gonna wake her up." i raise my eyebrows at the sheer audacity.

"have her sleep somewhere else then. i don’t know, call someone to pick her up and look after her. you're not doing none of that tonight." i tell him.

it's tiring how much this happens. she always does this. she comes up with something whenever she knows yeonjun and i will be together that day, like right now. she appeared drunk on yeonjun's doorstep on the day we decided to spend time together.

"please be serious right now."

"i am being serious. she's not spending the night here." i fight back, trying to stand my ground but i'm afraid i'm fighting a losing battle.

"this is my apartment y/n, not yours. i think that i should be the one to make that decision, no? stop bitching about it." he responds coldly with an unreadable expression on his face. there's a look in his eyes i've never seen before.

"okay then i'll leave."

his eyes soften upon hearing my tone of voice indicating that i am, in fact, upset.

"i didn't mean that." he tries to hold my hand to stop me from leaving but i pull away, getting my things to leave.

"then what the fuck did you mean?" i ask him turning to face him but he just stares, not saying anything. “you said what you said. call me when you drop this act of yours."

once the cool air outside the giant apartment building hits me, i let out a sigh, frustrated by all this. he really said that to me with a straight face and thinks he can just take it back all willy nilly? unbelievable.

i send a text to the person who's been helping me through this somewhat confusing moment in my relationship.

me:

are you busy?

i get a text back fairly quickly, i don't even need to read it to know he's not busy and judging by his patterns, he wouldn't have responded so quickly had he been occupied.

woo:

no

i make my way down the familiar road to one of my best friends' apartments. i've been here many times before but now i feel bad for even thinking about going there because i feel like as of late, i've just been there to complain.

"oh y/n. come in." he ushers me inside his warm apartment.

i make my way in and he walks me to the kitchen where i sit by the small island.

"let me guess, the name starts with m?" he asks, preparing some tea for both of us. i nod but the tears start to fall. i fucking hate when my anger turns to tears because it makes me feel weak. "that's not all, is it?" i shake my head and he walks around the island to pull me into a hug.

---

i sit on the sofa with a cup of tea in my hands. wooyoung sits next to me listening to everything i'm saying while i rant about what happened with yeonjun.

"that's messed up like how many times is she gonna show up drunk at his door?" wooyoung asks, outraged at the audacity of this girl.

"that's literally what i said to him. i told him she couldn't have gone to anyone else and you know what he said? he said 'she's most familiar with me. who else with her?' can you believe this guy?" i rhetorically ask, taking a sip from the cup. "and then i said to him that she's not spending the night and i kid you not, something in him just switched. he was like 'that's not your decision to make' but like, the way he said it... it was so unlike him. it's like i was talking to a whole different man."

"if this continues its gonna be a problem." wooyoung warns me cautiously.

"i know. i don't like where this is going."

---

i wake up, sitting up to look around, realizing i crashed at wooyoung's place. everything from last night coming back to me. i remember how yeonjun acted, that i cried and now i'm here.

"ahhh." i groan throwing myself back on the bed. how long is this going to go on for?

"rise and shine." wooyoung calls out a little too chipper. he enters the room and i glare at him. "what's with that face? come on i made you breakfast."

"you didn't have to."

"you say that all the time and yet here we are. come on grumpy." he says, pulling me out of bed.

"i'm not grumpy." i mumble with a pout.

"say again."

"nothing."

"thought so."

he makes me sit down at the kitchen table where the table is set with my favourite breakfast. i thank him, sitting down.

"don't be shy."

i smile at him, immediately digging in.

"slow down. the food isn’t running away." he warns and i apologize briefly.

my phone starts ringing and i check to see who it is but my smile falters and wooyoung looks at me worried.

"who is it?"

"yeonjun."

his face falls at my answer, as if a happy moment was ruined.

"answer."

i nod, answering his call but i take a moment before saying anything.

"babe?"

"hello."

"baby, please come over, or rather, i'm coming over-" his voice sounds hasty, his breathing choppy, as if he ran a marathon.

i look at wooyoung for a second with hesitance and he's just minding his own business but the look on his face shows he's upset.

"don't bother." i tell him bluntly. i'm still not over last night so let me be petty today.

"why? is everything alright?"

"i'm not home." wooyoung looks up and shakes his head making me sigh. "look, i'll be right there. just make sure your friend is not there once i arrive."

"come on y/n not this again."

"i'm serious yeonjun." i hang up before throwing my phone on the table. letting out a sigh in frustration because i don't want to go to him right now. he could at least let me enjoy my morning.

"go on." is all wooyoung says before standing up and clearing up the dishes to wash them. his mood has clearly drastically different now.

"wooyoung-"

"go talk to him. you can't leave these things unresolved like this. go talk to him and sort this mess out."

"but wooyoung."

"no, not another word. besides you can always come back once you're done." he suggests so i just agree.

"okay."

i walk out, calling an uber to yeonjun's apartment building, deciding not to walk there.

i make my way to the elevator where i see mara walking out. i try to avoid her, not wanting to even talk to her because it will just ruin my mood completely.

"oh? look who it is."

dammit.

i put on my fakest smile, turning to face her. "hi mara."

"going to yeonjun's?" she asks and i fight the urge to roll my eyes.

"no i'm here to see soobin. haven't seen him in a while." i respond sarcastically.

"soobin is in the states."

wow i had no idea.

"great then who else could i possibly be here for?" i ask her in the most real yet fake questioning tone.

"why don't you just give up already? no matter how hard you try, yeonjun will always pick me over you anyway." she smugly remarks and i roll my eyes.

"is that why you he asked you to leave for me to come see him at my request, might i add. i wouldn’t be proud to be a choice sweetie." the elevator door opens once again and i get in, waving at her as the doors close.

something inside me is restless though because deep down i have a feeling that she might be right. he's chosen her over me multiple times so i'm afraid she's right.

once i reach his floor, i walk to his door and knock, hearing shuffling before the door opens.

"you didn't have to knock you know. i'd know it's you." he says blankly and i roll my eyes.

"yeah well then i guess we both acting different."

"babe- wait, those are last nights clothes." he looks at me suspiciously and i raise my eyebrows.

"i'm aware."

"then where were you so early in the morning? you said you didn't go home last night?" he questions.

"why do you care?"

"because you're my girlfriend, of course i care, y/n be serious please." i scoff at his words. at this point, i feel like he thinks i’m a joke because he always says that to me.

"i am being serious. you haven't been treating me like i'm your girlfriend so i don't see what's wrong with my question."

"what are you even saying? and where did you go last night then?"

"oh now you're questioning me? you called me over to talk so tell me what you needed to so i can go."

his eyebrows furrow as he looks at me confused.

"i wanted to spend time with you since our date last night was ruined." he says softly.

"and who ruined it?"

"don't start. just please tell me where you wer-"

"wooyoung's place."

his face drops to an expressionless one and he just looks at me.

"why the long face now all of a sudden? what's wrong?"

"you get mad at me for having mara over but it’s okay for you to spend the night at wooyoung's place? how is that fair? besides, i only went there because of you."

"because of me?" he questions and i nod. "why? tell me."

"because he's the one who was able to give me comfort after the way you spoke to me. you chose to let mara crash our date for the nth time." he remains silent. "what now? much like you were there for mara, wooyoung did the same for me."

"was it to spite me?” he asks me and i scoff.

“not everything is about you jun.”

“i don't want you going near him anymore. if you have a problem you come to me." i scoff, rolling my eyes at what he just said what does he think this is?

he has to be joking. he is joking right?

"and if you are the problem?"

he looks at me confused with his head tilted trying to figure out what i meant.

"what do you even mean?"

"i mean that you, choi yeonjun, are the problem in this scenario." i tell him and try to walk out but he grabs my wrist.

"let go."

"not until we resolve this."

i sigh to myself knowing he's right. we need to actually talk about this or it will just get out of control.

"come sit down." he gently speaks walking with me to the living room.

"y/n please tell me what's wrong." he asks once we've sat down. we're facing each other while he holds both of my hands in his, rubbing the back of them with his thumbs.

"mara and how you are around her."

he let's one of my hands go to run his hand through his hair, an irritated expression making its way on his face.

"you always act different when she's around."

"why are you always bringing her into this?"

"she's getting in the middle of us." i tell him and he rolls his eyes.

"baby she's my best friend, that's all."

"and she likes you."

"don't talk shit."

he thinks i'm talking nonsense? it's clear as day that she has feelings for him and it frustrating that he can't see it but him talking to me like this? absolutely not.

"i'm telling the truth. tell me, how come she always has an emergency whenever we're together?"

"i don't know. look it's not right to blame someone else for this. do you not trust me?"

"of course i do! if i didn't trust you, i wouldn't have left the two of you alone together and i would’ve questioned you the way you just did when i walked in. i just want you to see what's really going on here."

"y/n." he reaches for my hand again to hold it. "whether she likes me or not, that shouldn't matter anyway. i love you and only you and that won't change."

"then why do you always choose to be with her instead?" i ask him and he tenses.

"what?"

"you always choose her. whenever it comes down to it, it's always gonna be her. she even said it herself in the lobby and i told her off but i knew deep down that she’s actually telling the truth."

"y/n."

"like last night, for example. she showed up and you stopped our plans to go help her even though there are many other people she could've ran to, then when i walked out, you did nothing."

"this is ridiculous."

"you are being ridiculous, yeonjun. you don't wanna see what's right in front of you."

"are you jealous of her or something? babe i tell you time and time again that she's just a friend!" he raised his voice at me and i pull my hands away from him.

"oh i'm jealous... that's what it is, right? i'm jealous because my boyfriend is making time for someone else. i’m jealous because my boyfriend let's me leave to spend the night with another girl. is that what you're saying?" i question, standing up, ready to leave.

"stop talking, you're making it seem like something it's not. besides you have no right getting upset since you spend all your time with wooyoung anyway."

"BECAUSE HE AT LEAST HAS TIME FOR ME! it's selfish, yes but he has time for me when you are too busy giving all of yours to someone else!"

"are you that hungry for attention that you're too busy looking for it elsewhere?"

"fuck you yeonjun." with that i walk out and go straight back to wooyoung's apartment.

---

there is a movie playing but it's just background noise at this point because my thoughts are running wild.

i found myself staying at wooyoung's apartment for the past 3 days since my argument with yeonjun.

he let me stay here and he's been nothing but accommodating and i feel like i'm taking advantage of his kindness which is the last thing i want to do.

"wooyoung."

"hmm?"

"thank you." is all i say and he sits up from his seat.

"for what?" he asks, not knowing where all of this is coming from.

"thank you." i repeat, feeling a burning sensation in my eyes.

"y/n." i look down and he moves to the loveseat i'm sitting on. he sees the tears forming on my eyes and immediately hugs me. "what did he say to you?"

i can't answer, the words are stuck in my throat and i couldn't answer him.

"it's okay. it'll be okay."

"i don't think it will." he stops patting my back for a second before continuing.

"don't be like this y/n. he’ll open his eyes eventually."

"i'm afraid it will be too late by then." i say sadly, more to myself than anything but i said it too loud because wooyoung heard.

he pulls away to take a brief look at me.

"what do you mean by that?"

"i'm reaching my limit here."

"don't make any hasty decisions."

"i'm not wooyoung. i love him, i really do, but if loving him is only going to get me feeling like this then it's really not worth it."

"y/n-"

"it's tiring." i tell him letting more tears fall at the thought of possibly ending my relationship with yeonjun.

"whatever you choose to do, i'll be right by your side." he softly tells me with eyes filled with sorrow as he watches me cry. "and if he doesn't appreciate you someone else definitely will. you're a sweet girl who deserves only the best and it kills me to see that that's not what you're getting."

he makes me look in his eyes and mouths something that i couldn't quite catch what he said. he wipes away my tears with this tumbs, all while keeping eye contact with me.

"someone will treat you better y/n." he whispers, letting out a sigh before looking away. "come on, let's do something that'll get your mind off him." he suggests. i don't know what he means by that.

"sure."

"alright, follow me." he takes my hand and takes me to his room, further confusing me.

"wooyoung?"

"shhh." he rummages through his closet and get a long sleeve shirt, handing it to me. "wear this."

"what's this for?" i ask, looking at him.

"just wear it. there's a method behind my madness."

i just shrug and put it on over my tank top and we walk out.

---

"a rage room?"

"why not?" he asks, shrugging his shoulders before we both walk in and book a session.

the lady explains the rules to us and before i know it, i'm breaking everything around me with out a care in the world. i'm imagining mara’s face before hitting something which really helps get the aggression out.

"FUCK! YOU! CHOI! YEONJUN!" i scream while breaking the things around me. "AND FUCK THAT MARA BITCH TOO!"

wooyoung just looks at me with a wide smile which is still visible through the protective gear.

once our session is over he takes us both to go eat some street food and i feel calm after all that.

"you know, i needed that." i breath out in content.

"yeah?"

"yeah. is it concerning to feel better after imagining someone's face over an object before hitting it to oblivion?" he laughs making me smile a bit, not thinking what i said was gonna be funny but go figure.

"it's not hard to imagine someone's face over something you're gonna throw at a wall."

"who's face were you imagining?" i ask him, turning to face him on the bench.

"the one who made you cry." i stop eating briefly at what he said.

"not too much bow, he's still your best friend."

"that doesn't excuse his shitty behavior." he sing-songs before taking a bite from his food.

"still." i try to grap a fry from his box while he’s not looking but he staws my hand away before i can even get far.

"hey."

"you have your own."

"had my own." i frown showing him the empty box.

"ask next time. here." he says giving me some and i smile, thanking him.

"the weather is so nice today."

"not with that fucking vanilla talk."

"last time i try to create conversation." we laugh together, looking at the sun setting.

i feel a lot better now after going to the rage room and taking out all of my frustration.

"ready to go home?" he asks once we're done.

"can we go to your place?"

"and what will your boyfriend think of that?" he asks teasingly.

"he won't like it but i spent the last two nights at yours so what's another night?"

"i don't want him to freak out on us for that. come i'll take you home."

"please wooyoung. i don't wanna be alone tonight."

"then call yeonjun. i think you both need to sit and talk with a clear mind.”

"we tried that already, remember?"

"try again." he urges and i sigh, taking my phone and dialing his number. it rings but he doesn't pick up.

"voicemail, see he’s still mad. let's go."

“y/n” he warns and i sigh, giving in, deciding not to make this an even bigger deal.

once i get home and wooyoung has left i lay in bed, listening to the music playing on the speaker.

yeonjun and i have been together for 3 years now and we've never gone through something like this nor have i ever considered the possibility of breaking up with him so how did we get this far?

i pick up my phone to text him. i just wanna see something.

me:

yeonjun please come over quick!!

please.

something happened!!

i put my phone down to see if he will even respond.

"in my head we never grow apart. in my head you never break my heart. but we know that's not what we're doing. 'cause baby this not like the movies." i sing along softly letting a tear fall hearing no notification go off on my phone. this is exactly why i didn't wanna be alone tonight.

---

wooyoung's pov

i sit with san in his apartment just relaxing, catching up, all that fun stuff. it's been quite a while since we actually got to just hang out and talk but right now i just wish more than anything that he'd shut up or change the topic because he is driving me insane.

"i say be selfish." he finally says with a shrug to finish off his little rant.

"what do you mean by that?" i ask him, narrowing my eyes at his final statement.

"look, yeonjun is being a complete dick right now and who does she run to afterwards?"

"me?"

"bingo." he smiles, taking a sip from his can of beer.

"i'm not picking up what you're putting down."

"she goes to you for comfort and you treat her the way her boyfriend is supposed to. be selfish and let them break up. i mean, why are you even trying to help save a dying relationship?"

"because i respect both of them and their relationship. besides, that's just taking advantage of her vulnerability you ass."

sometimes he doesn't think past the present.

"and its not like she'd ever look at me that way. no matter what the state of her relationship with yeonjun is, she will still love him regardless." i tell him sadly. she's deeply in love with him and it hurts me so much because it's not certain if he shares the same sentiment anymore and i'm just here waiting to give her the love she deserves.

my phone rings and i pick up without checking who's calling.

"hello."

"jung wooyoung."

speak of the devil.

"y/n."

"wooyoung are you home?"

her words are slurred and my worry spikes. she's drunk in broad daylight. it's never a good sign.

"JUNG WOOYOUNG!"

i hear her starting to cry judging by the feint sniffing on the ither side.

"are you also tired of me now too?"

"where are you?"

"don't worry if you're busy right now. i don't wanna bother you." she hiccups, before yawning loudly.

"you're not. please tell me where you are."

"the streets." she laughs hysterically before catching her breath. "i'm outside yeonjun's apartment building."

her voice wavers when she says that and my heart sinks. what did that asshole do to her this time?

"i'm coming there okay. don't go anywhere."

i hang up, ready to get my keys.

"where are you running off to?" san questions with a raised eyebrow.

"to pick y/n up. she's not doing too good."

"let me come with."

"okay let's go."

once we get to the complex i see y/n sitting on the ground looking out of it.

"holy shit." i hear san whisper as we run to her and get her off the floor.

"wooyoung?" she smiles widely it doesn’t reach her eyes. she looks a mess with swollen eyes and tears still running down her cheeks. i feel terrible.

"if she can show up drunk at his door then why can't i? why am i not allowed to go to him all vulnerable like she does? i'm his girlfriend, not her!" she starts shouting out of nowhere which draws attention from a couple of people around us.

this isn't fair anymore. if he's gonna keep pushing her around like this he might as well just end this relationship instead of continuously making her feel like absolute shit.

"why doesn't he love me anymore wooyoung? why? why don't you love me anymore yeonjun?! what did i do?" she starts yelling, properly sobbing now, hitting my chest while she speaks.

"get lost." san says, probably talking to someone who is probably staring. i need to get her away from these people looking at her weirdly.

i take her to the car, getting in the back with her so she can sit comfortably.

"what did he do?" i ask her once she’s seated comfortably.

"he kicked me out because that bitch was there. she probably called him crying or some shit but i'm crying too." she points to herself, choking on her tears. "YEONJUN SEE I'M CRYING TOO!" she shouts to no one. i close my eyes, letting tears of my own fall. i haven’t seen her like this before. 'aww, look, you woke up poor mara who’s sad and going through things, and she’s sad and not doing too well.' it's always about poor sad mara! you know, he called me an attention seeker the other day? an attention seeker for wanting the bare minimum from my boyfriend. he's with that girl so much, he might as well be her boyfriend and not mine right?" she humorlessly laughs. "and then he had the audacity to tell me i can't be around you anymore. who does he think he is?”

did he seriously tell her she can’t be around me anymore? but then he continues to act the way he does. if y/n can't confide in me or him then who else is she supposed to run to?

“he's not mine anymore wooyoung. i think i've lost him."

i shake my head as she cries in my shoulder.

where did it all go wrong? i mean, he's never been like this before so what now? why is he acting differently now?

"enough is enough. san, please take her home and take care of her. make sure she drinks water and sobers up. i'll be there soon." i tell san who's in the passenger seat and he nods.

"san is here? hi san." she smiles widely, waving in no particular direction.

i give him the keys and wait for him to drive off before heading to yeonjun's apartment, knocking on the door and i wait for him to open. he's got a look of surprise written in his face.

"wooyoung? what are you doing here?" he asks and i shrug. "come in."

i walk in seeing another pair of shoes already there. he offers me a drink which i decline.

"is mara here?" i ask and he nods. "yeah, she's asleep in the room."

"i see."

what's gotten into him? he used to be the most attentive person when it came to y/n so what changed?

"what on earth do you think you're doing?" i ask him.

"sorry?" he asks me, completely dumbfounded by my sudden question.

"do you think what you're doing is right?"

"what's this all about?" he questions, clearly not expecting me to start asking him questions.

"mara is here sleeping am i right?" he nods. "and where is y/n, if you don't mind me asking."

"i sent her home. she came here, caused a scene and started drunkenly shouting so i sent her home because she could've woke mara up." i wanna strangle him so bad right now but i just scoff, deciding to choose peace.

"doesn't it concern you that she's coming to you drunk at 3 in the afternoon?" i ask him but it seems like i'm talking to a brick wall.

"what?"

"you're so dense."

"look, if you came here to do the same then you can go see yourself out."

"do you understand the shit you're putting y/n through?"

"don't involve yourself, this is between y/n and i." he warns but i'm not backing down. he either does something to fix this or he breaks up with her and he's deciding that today. i don't care anymore.

"no, its between you, y/n and mara so i will involve myself too. y/n has been crying non stop for days now because of you and your inability to see what mara is actually doing here."

"she didn't do anything. y/n clearly doesn't trust me to be around her so she's obviously gonna wanna cause a scene."

i raise my eyebrows at his bold choice of words. so he defends her by belittling his own girlfriend... it's bewildering to me.

"you're unbelievable. through all of this, when has she ever accused you of cheating with mara?" he remains silent. what else can he say? there's no way to defend the way he's acting right now and i will call him out for it. "she does trust you asshole, all she wants from you is for you to not blow her off because mara needs you. she needs you too yeonjun."

i'm saying all of this but a small part of me hopes he stays stubborn like this and they break up. san is right, it is selfish but i wanna be there for y/n the way yeonjun is failing to. she deserves so much more than this and that's what i wanna give her but then again.

but there's a small part of me that know i still don't have a chance anyway. she doesn't see me that way and that's the only reason i'm here trying to help save tis relationship. even if it hurts me in the end.

"i'm with her all the time." he defends and i scoff. there's no way he's actually being serious right now.

"that's bullshit and we both know it. when was the last time you two actually spent quality time together?"

"two weeks ago and then she walked out."

"without interruptions." i clarify and yeonjun's face drops. i don't know what he's thinking right now but he better be realizing his mistakes.

"you called her an attention seeker for wanting to be with her boyfriend who's too busy with another girl."

"you're making it sound like something it isn't."

"well how am i supposed to know what actually goes down when the two of you are alone together."

that hits a nerve because he yells for me to shut up and i just smile at his reaction.

"don't you ever accuse me of such things EVER. i love y/n way too much to even think about doing that to her so who are you to even question me on that? besides, you're the last one to talk."

"excuse me?"

don't act like you're not always with her. who knows what you two are doing behind my back?" he asks and i raise my eyebrows. someone needs to be here to slap some sense into him because he's genuinely lost it. if he loves her so much then why is he acting like this.

"that's how much you trust her and i? you know, she's never questioned you about mara. you say love her but you don't trust her? is that it yeonjun? and you have the audacity to say you love her then why don't you fucking show it? she sat outside this very building for who knows how long crying her eyes out asking why you don't love her anymore. she asked why mara can come to you in that very state but she can't and she's your girlfriend, no less. you know what else she said? she said she thinks  she's lost you. she said you're not hers anymore. are you hearing me? she's giving up on you and she’s giving up on trying to singlehandedly save your relationship." i tell him while he looks at me with tears forming in his eyes.

oh now he's listening...

"you know, she's told me before that she's thinking of breaking up with you because loving you is hard and she doesn't think it's worth all this pain it’s giving her."

"she said that?" he asks and i nod.

"i'm gonna give you an ultimatum. it's y/n or mara."

"quit playing wooyoung."

"i'm not. either choose mara and end it with y/n and i will personally make sure it ends or choose y/n and stop being friends with mara."

"why? you hoping i choose mara so that she can run into your arms?" he asks rhetorically but that question has an answer already.

"yes i am, actually. she's already doing that, isn't she?"

"you son of a bitch. i always knew you had feelings for her. if you ever say shit like that to me it won't end well."

"look, i was never even trying to hide it. she only runs to me after you treat her like trash. she doesn't see me like that and you know that. that's why i'm here right now. because no matter what my feelings for her are, you’re the  one she thinks about. you're all she talks about. i know i don't have a chance otherwise you two would've broken up the moment she came to me the first time crying because of you. make a choice yeonjun." i say before walking away.

---

reader's pov

headache. a fucking headache is the last thing i need right now.

"y/n?"

"hmm?"

"how are you feeling?"

i open my eyes to see san standing by the door with a mug in hand.

"horrible. why did i do all that?"

"i made some tea for you." he hands me the cup and i thank him, taking a sip a little too quickly because i burnt my tongue. "easy now."

"sorry."

"what happened yesterday?" he asks sitting down on the edge of the bed next to me.

"where do i even start?"

"ladies and gentlemen. sorry i have a little announcement. attention everyone." i slur out to everyone who's around me in the bar. it's more on the secluded part of the club so i can get away with making a little announcement. i just need these people to listen.

"ma'am, get down from there." a man who's sitting at the bar tries to help me down but i haven't said what i needed to yet.

"hold on i need to tell everyone this. HELLO!! yes."

"ma'am get down or i'm afraid we'll have to throw you out."

"my boyfriend is an asshole." i laugh hysterically, clapping and everything. "YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE YEONJUN!!"

"get down!"

"okay okay i am. relax." the people around me helped me down but i was escorted out because these people are boring and don't know how to loosen up.

i could go to yeonjun. i hope he's not busy with mara right now. i miss him and we haven't spoken in a good minute.

i decide to walk, not really feeling like sitting in a stuffy car.

once i get there, i take a breath before knocking on the door and wait for him to open but nothing so i just enter.

"CHOI YEONJUN!" where is he? "babe i miss you where are you?"

"y/n?" he appears from his room and i immediately run to him for a hug.

"were you drinking?" he asks annoyed. what's his problem?

"just a little. i had like 5..."

"y/n."

"bottles." i burst out laughing but he doesn't seem to find it funny. so uptight.

"y/n you're drunk."

"am not." i pout and he rolls his eyes.

"why are you drinking at this time of the day?"

"because of you. you made me feel like shit when you didn't respond my message yesterday. o drank because you don't care about me yeonjun. you didn't even call to check. WHY DIDN'T YOU AT LEAST CALL ME? TELL ME!"

"yeonjun?" i look at the person calling his name and there stands mara in the doorway to his room.

"babe is she wearing my clothes?" i ask him after eyeing her up and down.

"she's just borrowing them."

"no you are incorrect. YOU yeonjun, took it upon yourself to give her my clothes. borrowing would imply that she asked me to wear my clothes and me allowing her to but it's nothing of the sort. see how it works? come on, go change." i tell her walking towards her but yeonjun holds me back from walking forward.

"what am i going to wear then? jun please speak to her." she is such a bit-

"y/n."

"give her yours then. there problem solved, now everyone can have their tea. i'm so smart." i pat myself on the back beaming at my bright idea.

"y/n you're embarrassing yourself."

"in front of who?" i start looking around to see if there's anyone else here but it's just the three of us. "i don't see anyone."

"me. you're embarrassing me."

"okay but in front of who though?"

"y/n go home, alright, you're drunk and you woke mara up."

"oh sorry mara. i didn't mean to barge into your home and wake you up. and don't even worry about my clothes you can have them. you've already taken something else from me, getting upset over clothes would just be trivial."

"Y/N!" i immediately stop talking, flinching from him shouting my name suddenly. my heart starts rapidly beating and my breaking picks up pace. "please just go home. now."

i nod, trying to hold back my tears as i walk out the door.

"im so sorry y/n." san said, taking my hand in his to try to comfort me. i keep my head ducked.

the door opens and wooyoung walks in.

"san what did you do to her?" he jokes making me laugh a little bit.

"nothing. shut up."

"y/n, can i talk to you?"

"sure." he walks in, sitting down next to san.

"i spoke to yeonjun." he starts off but i don't wanna hear it. anything with regards to him, i don't wanna hear it. his name alone just upsets me.

"let's not mention his name right now."

"i gave him an ultimatum." he blankly says and i look at him.

"what's the point? he's chosen her time and time again, what's the point? and talking about him will just piss me off." i dismiss the idea, not wanting to talk about it further. "let's talk about something else." i suggest.

"you really not gonna talk to him?" san asks and i shake my head.

"i don't want to. you know, something in me keeps telling me to just meet up with him so i can end it, but i'm weak. i'm too weak to do something like that."

"you can't avoid him either though." wooyoung injects but i shake my head.

"then give me time to think things over."

"i'll respect whatever decision you make." he says.

"thank you woo. but please don't let me cause a dent in your friendship. the last thing i want is for you two to stop talking on my expense."

"i'm just gonna say it. y/n, you're too good for him." san says making me smile.

"thank you." i finish my tea and take a shower before heading back to my place.

--

i look through the racks of the detergent aisle. i've been needing to buy groceries for a while.

the past week after the whole incident at yeonjun's apartment have been complete hell. a whole back and forth of emotions and its honestly too much for me but i need some air and run errands and basically get my shit together because i can't let a man put my whole life on pause like this.

my phone beeps and i check, smiling while reading wooyoung's message. him and san have been checking up on me every 3 hours, driving me up the wall here and there but i appreciate it nonetheless.

once i get home, carrying my groceries, genuinely in a good mood after actually taking a walk but ummm.

"what are you doing here?" i ask the girl.

"just visiting a mutual friend." she slyly responds making me roll my eyes.

"get lost."

"no."

"suit yourself."

i unlock the door, going in, shutting it in her face, waving before locking the door.

because i thought a bitch said something. i do not have time today.

i put on my music, deciding to clean up and pack my stuff like the mature adult i am.

while i'm going through my bills, i hear rattling at the door.

now who's trying to break in?

i stand up to go check, deciding to bang on the door to stop this person but then they start again.

"see what i’m not gonna do is deal with this rattling noise going through these thin ass walls, if you wanna get in just knock like a normal person dammit!"

the person knocks and i open the door. why? i don't know, i could literally be in danger.

"what the hell do you want?" i look at the tall man in front of me, not really expecting him to be standing there.

"oh it’s you." i try to close the door but he pushes it and keeps it open. "are you here to shout at me for closing the door in your precious mara's face?" i ask looking at the girl standing behind him.

"i'm here to talk to you."

"i don't wanna talk to you. look i've been having a good day today so please take your little hip attachment and leave."

she looks at me smugly and i decided to just turn a blind eye because she's pissing me off.

"mara please leave." he tells her not even looking at her. her face drops and i look at yeonjun, confused.

"do you want me to wait for you outside?" she asks him, voice getting high pitched as if she wasn't sounding like someone's father while speaking to me earlier.

"go home mara." he sternly tells her.

"jun-"

"leave." he urges making her open and close her mouth like a fish. deserved bitch.

"yeonjun why are you here?" i ask in a defeated tone not really in the mood to talk to him right now.

"i wanted to talk to you. can we please talk?"

"no." i try closing the door again and he stops my from doing so again.

"please y/n."

"i don't want to talk to you right now. please just leave me alone and don't be so rude to mara. go with her and leave me alone please."

"y/n."

"GO."

"i'm not ready to give up on us y/n."

"I TRIED WITH YOU YEONJUN! i've been trying with you. it’s only when i've reached my limit when you come to me with that? it took someone to force you to make a choice for you to realize the shit you’ve done but all those times i've pleaded with you flew over your head. i stood in your apartment drunk as a cry for help and you threw me out because i woke your dearest friend up! i took everything and accepted it quietly. you called me names and i accepted it, you spoke to me however you wanted to and i accepted it. you had that girl in MY CLOTHES, USING MY SHIT SLEEPING IN YOUR BED AND I FUCKING KEPT QUIET. i never once doubted you or your relationship with mara, only to have wooyoung tell me that you had the fucking audacity to question my loyalty to you when i've never given you a reason to. it's not fair so for you to come here, sending mara away in front of me as if to prove a point and demand that i talk to you. it's just pathetic." i yell out to him, finally getting it off my chest.

it felt good to actually say it and dare i say, to shout at him the way i did.

"you're only here because wooyoung gave you an ultimatum and that's what fucking opened your eyes? i'm your girlfriend yeonjun, not a choice and if it's gotten to a point where you havr to you're have to choose me or someone else then please just don't bother choosing me, it's insulting. now please give me some time and leave from here."

he nods his head and i can see the prominent pain in his eyes but i need to stand my ground.

he finally leaves and i shut the door. i truly can't believe this guy.

the last couple of weeks have been hell and here he comes all willy-nilly talking about some, 'i'm not giving up on us' well it sure as hell felt like it. after pushing me away for so long he only comes to me now after i've given up? i've told him how i felt but he only listened after someone else told him.

"fuck you yeonjun!" i sob out quietly. i've found myself saying that a lot lately because who does he actually think he is?

still, after all the heartache, my heart is still too weak to leave him.

he's just a caring person though. that's how he is but if he's caring, then we wouldn't be like this now.

i know that mara is the main reason all of this is happening, he's never acted this way until she developed feelings for him and decided to try to separate us, but he still made his own decisions regardless of that. he let her get between us and he chose to treat me the way he did.

i wanna get back to how we once were but there's this lingering question of 'what if this all happens again?'. i mean, he didn't hesitate to forget me once so what's stopping him from doing it again?

my phone rings and i walk to go pick it up, seeing it's wooyoung calling.

"hello?"

"are you dumb?" he asks me and i furrow my eyebrows.

"okay ouch, first of all, and second, where is this coming from?" i ask him.

"why did you shut yeonjun down when he wanted to talk things out?"

"because i'm tired woo. he's been putting me on the back burner for another girl for weeks before i said anything and when i did, it all just spiraled after that. he spoke to me any which way and i took it but it became too much. i'm tired from all the chasing." i rant out to him, feeling tears forming.

--

"so what does this mean for the two of you?" he asks.

that's a good question...

the next week has just been me thinking everything through. 3 years together is a long time to consider.

i call yeonjun telling him i’m outside before entering the building. i walk to his door thinking over, knocking on it before he opens it.

"y/n. uh come in." he steps aside, allowing me in. being in here fills my head with nothing but memories of the recent events. that's not a good sign.

"do you want anything?" he asks but i decline.

sitting at the kitchen table in awkward silence, my leg bouncing up and down from the nerves that have taken over.

"i'm sorry for lashing out on you last timea. i didn't let you explain your side of the story which was unfair on my part." i tell him, avoiding eye contact.

"how you reacted was valid. i haven't been the best boyfriend to you for a long time now and i wanna apologize for everything. for the way i spoke to you and treated you. it was completely unwarranted and unnecessary and i should have listened to you the first time, no actually, i shouldn't have given you a reason to feel that way in the first place."

i see tears forming in his eyes as he speaks and it takes a lot in me to not engulf him in a hug to comfort him. i can't do that right now, i need to be headstrong.

"it shouldn't have taken someone else to talk to me about this before realizing what i did to you and i should have managed my priorities better. you know, you're the most important person to me and i didn't show it and worst of all, i questioned your loyalty to me, not once but twice."

i never once did. not even when i saw mara walk out of his room because that's how much i trust him. you can't love without trust and he clearly couldn't seem to trust me and that's what stings the most.

that's what breaks my heart more than anything. i haven't given any reason to feel that way which is why i was shocked when he doubted got just me but wooyoung as well. everything between us has been nothing but platonic but clearly he didn't see it that way. a tear rolls down his cheek and i look away so that i don't see him crying, it's my biggest weakness.

"i should know better than anyone that you wouldn't even think of doing such a thing. look, i regret everything y/n. you shouldn't be apologizing for the way you reacted yesterday, i was wrong, i let someone get between us and i hurt you. that's my biggest regret." he says.

we both have tears running down our eyes but i still refuse to look in his eyes. he takes hold of my hand before continuing to talk.

"i'm not asking for you to forgive me right away because i know that's a big ask but let me earn it please."

"okay. you can earn my forgiveness." i smile weakly at him before quickly looking away. "by letting me go." i finish and i feel his grip on my hand loosen a bit.

and that is why i didn't want to look in his eyes. because i know i wouldn't be able to tell him that had i looked in his eyes.

it hurts to do but i know it's the best decision for me right now.

" y/n, what- what are you saying?" he asks, stumbling over his words.

"i thought about this yeonjun. the things you've said to me, the things you've done. it was so easy for you to forget how to act, who's to say it won't happen again?"

"i cut ties with mara."

"it shouldn't have to get to that point. that means that you'd let this keep happening otherwise. it shouldn't get to the point of you having to choose."

"i don't wanna lose you." he weakly tells me but i shake my head.

"actions have consequences. please let me go. let's end this here." i feel the lump in my throat forming and that's the last thing i need. i can't let myself change my mind now. i've had to think about this far too long to let myself fall back in his arms. it's for the best.

"is that really what you want?" he asks and i nod, not trusting myself to talk. "then that's it."

i let out a breath i didn't know i was holding.

"i love you yeonjun."

"i love you too." he says before letting go of my hand.

i walk out without looking back, because if i do, i'll just run back to him.

‘sorry heart, i guess we’ll just have to start again.’

i let more tears fall as i walk into wooyoung's car.

"ready to go?" he asks and i nod and with that he drives off.

"you missed the exit." i told him and he just smiles.

"i know."

"where are we going?"

"who knows?"

"wooyoung."

"you need to see some scenery, get some air, and let your mind relax so that's why. remember, there's a method behind my madness. there always is." he saus smiling.

"thank you woo."

"don't. you deserve the best and i'll always be there to give you just that." he says to me making me smile.

[pemebi]

I'm bored, can't draw for now and I'm going to write some omega verse kaishin sfw

This is cringe, ya gonna die with cringe, be careful

Btw no help of google traductor this time soo.... uuuuhhh sorry?

Ok, they are a bit old in this one, 26+

Kaito - Alpha

Shinichi - Omega

They been dating for a long time

Kaito has this wonderful heist, well, not so wonderful because Meitantei didn't participate even if he was near and watched everything with the public, damn, he even spend the time talking with someone that Kaito didn't manage to recognize at the distance

Kaito is in a sour mood.

he decides to approach and question what happened

"…not that I'm a masochist and I missed having you kicking those damn footballs at me, but I feel offended that my favorite critic didn’t even attempted to catch me."

Shinichi just make a disinterested gesture.

"well, what I can say, something more important happened, new priorities"

"More important than me?" "Yup, and... oh god, this is hard to say" "You are wounding me… so… is… there another person?" "mmm… yes?" "Meitantei, you where cheating on me, on my own heist?! how dare you?!"

Shinichi just stares at Kaito with a very bored expression, he isn’t a bit amused.

"No, I'm not cheating, stupid, here, read this" "what's this?" "Info about this new person" "You are giving me info about my enemy, the one who stole your attention in my heist? oooh, the poor bastard is gonna have a hard time, can't wait to meet him and---

Kaito is reading a blood pregnancy test, is positive

"I wanted to have more conclusive evidence" "…can't wait to meet him and dote him and oh god I'm gonna become a father?!" "Kaito are you crying?" "I'm overflowing with emotions after getting my heart destroyed and reconstructed in the span of one minute of course I'm crying dammit!!"

------

Later

Heiji: how did it go?

Shinichi: he thought I was cheating at first, with you, I think.

Kaito: YOUR WORDING DID-NOT-HELP

[thechaseofspades]

For the ask game

First off, I love the image you chose for this. I can always count on you to come up with something new and unique.

Anyway, on with the answerings. Long post incoming.

11: Link your three favorite fics right now

Alright, let's get this out of the way first. My cardinal sin is not reading enough of other people's work. I'm going to fandom hell after I fandom die sadly but I have already made fandom peace with it. -- I swear I really want to read you guys' stuff I just don't have the time and/or attention span a lot of the time!

[Dear Fellow Traveller by justaboot]

I know, recency bias and all. But hush. The first chapter of this story could have been a story all on its own. I'm going to elaborate on what I like so much about this story in a comment here soon but long story short, I love how Huey is portrayed. Della too. Also Jamie has mentioned that her stories can be traced back to experiences she's had, and I can feel that going through this one. So much vivid detail that takes an experience I've never even touched and makes me feel like I'm living it. Not to mention how Huey feels relatable to me personally (thanks, neurodivergence!). Anyway, get your peepers out for this one, and your reading glasses if you've got em. It'll be a good one.

[Complementary Colors by Korkorali and tsundereanubis]

Come to think of it, this fic might have been a huge inflection point for me. It was probably the first time I ever realized that Violet Sabrewing is Literally Me (TM) because she's autistic and ace and plays chess what is there not to love. But also going through it again, I feel like this at least indirectly inspired "My Head is an Animal". Specifically, the part where Violet has a breakdown and Lena consoles her. Also also, not really related to anything I've done yet, but it got me to take May Duck seriously as a character. One of those moments where I realized that fanfiction could take a one-off clone of somebody else and give them depth, personality, etc. Not that she didn't have that in the show, but I think anybody would tell you that we didn't get very much May Duck content in DT17. Without this fic, we would have never been May'd. Send this to your friends to totally May them.

Pretty much any of the Weblena picks from TerminalMiraculosis but I'm gonna go with three because I cheat:

[Stitched Through Time]

[Crossing the Streams]

[When In Rome]

This was my genesis in the DuckTales 2017 brain rot. I don't care if these end up aging terribly and turns out there's a trillion typos and also it was written in Gaelic so I can't even read it and actually it was all a dream and none of it ever happened. These three are still going to have a special place because they opened me up to being a fan of something. I was just ranging out of that age where you were supposed to hide if you liked stuff, especially anything for kids. My nostalgic pandemic-era binge of Phineas and Ferb, for example, was something to feel shameful of, not enjoy every second of like I ended up doing. But watching DuckTales, and then immersing myself into this fandom shortly thereafter, taught me how to enjoy things. How to love things. How to love myself. Since 2021, I've spent a lot of time embracing who I am and learning to love myself. I'm not gonna say that DT17 taught me how to do all of that, but I will say that it showed me how doing so could make me so much happier in life. And here I am now, being happy in life. Funny how that works.

41: Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

This answer applies to pretty much everything. Movies, tv shows, and yes, reading stuff. I don't rewatch/reread stuff unless I have a reason to do so. It's nothing against the concept or anything, just that I always feel like I need a reason for doing whatever I do. Usually if I rewatch/reread something, it's because I want to check a specific part of it, like quoting a line properly or what have you. Even the fics that I linked up top, I haven't reread them in the two years since I found them. That's just how my brain works I guess.

62: Thoughts on cliffhangers?

I'm fine with cliffhangers as long as they're eventually resolved. I used a few in "Groundhog Day", and that was fun to do. I'll also say that as a writer, cliffhangers in actively updated fics are a neat little trick to get people talking. Want some free feedback? Just have Lena Sabrewing wake up in a void outside of time and space. And then just end the chapter. Comments go wild for that.

As a reader, cliffhangers are alright but it comes with a big caveat: I'm not the best at remembering what I last read. So if it's been a few days or a week since the cliffhanger, I might have some trouble remembering where we are in the story. It might be a smooth transition where we pick up exactly where we left off, but that might not click in my brain. Idk it's weird. And like I said I tend not to reread stuff that often so that complicates things.

[papermint-airplane]

Get to Know Me - Sims Edition

If you saw me accidentally post this before I filled it out and had to private it really quick, no you didn't. 😚

Thank you for the tag, @simsdastra! ❤️

What’s your favorite Sims death?

In Sims 2, the satellite death and death by flies. I used those constantly.

In Sims 3, the meteor death (obviously) and the time sickness death. The meteor one because of how devastating it is while still making your surviving Sims a shit load of money and the time sickness one for how existentially horrifying it is. You just get Marty McFly'd right out of reality! 😱 I haven't had a Sim die that way when it wasn't on purpose and I'm willing to bet not many other Simmers have either. It's a pretty rare death.

In Sims 4, it's the pufferfish death and the Rabid Rodent Fever death. So visceral and mildly disturbing! When Sims 4 gets it right, it gets it right!

Alpha CC or MaxisMatch?

Alpha hair in Sims 3 because it's an absolute necessity, but I don't mind most of the EA clothes so I guess that's Maxis Mix?

When I played Sims 4, I was Maxis Match all the way except when it came to makeup and skin details.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

Not as much as I cheat their muscle slider. I find it preposterous that a Sim with no muscle definiton can go for one jog and come back shredded. I am constantly cheating their muscle mass back down to a more realistic level.

Do you move objects?

Of course, how do you live without that? In fact, I even have a button on my gaming mouse programmed to it.

Favorite Mod?

The transmogfrifer mod by icarus_allsorts and the stencil remover by velocity grass. I use these so much, I forget they're not naturally in the game.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

Like, the first one ever? Sims 2 University. I played Sims 1 back in the day but I never had a single expansion pack for it. I didn't even know what expansion packs were until Sims 2.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing

Both. 🫣 I don't know which way is the "official" way, so I just alternate my pronunciation depending on what feels right at the time.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

Aiden. 👽

Have you made a simself?

Many times! I've had Simselves in Sims 2, Sims 3, and Sims 4.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

In Sims 3, you don't have to use swatches for hair so I almost never use the premade ones. However, there is a nice deep reddish brown that I quite like. I use it as a base frequently.

Favorite EA hair?

Most of the Sims 3 EA hairs are horrible even with retextures, so...none lol.

Favorite life stage?

I'm gonna be boring and say YA. 🤷‍♀️

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

Gameplay. I can't build to save my life.

Are you a CC creator?

No, I want to make CC but I have no artistic talent and I wouldn't even know where to start.

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

I do not know what a Sim Squad is but I do have Simblr friends! And Sims Reddit friends.

Do you have any sims merch?

No but I did once make a bunch of tiny resin plumbobs.

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Haha no, I do not have the time or face for YouTube.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

It hasn't changed that much, honestly. I am a bit more story-focused and a lot less murder-y, but that's about it. For the most part, I still have attention span issues and tend to start a lot of new saves lmao.

What’s your origin id?

Rabbitmancer. You can add me if you want but I almost never turn the online features on in game so it doesn't really do anything.

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

@aroundthesims, no question about it. ATS has literally everything and I have downloaded all of it. 😱

How long have you had simblr?

About...a year? I don't actually know. I've been on Tumblr in the past, though I left around 2015-2016, but I never dove into the Simblr community. @happy-lemon talked me into starting a Simblr and I'm so glad she did!

How do you edit your pictures?

I don't edit my pictures all that often because I do not know what I'm doing. I use ReShade and if I need to make minor edits, I'll do so in Paint.NET like a pleb.

What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite?

Sims 2: Open For Business. In fact, it's my favorite expansion of all time.

Sims 3: It changes often but it's Ambitions right now. There's so much in Sims 3 to love!

Sims 4: Uh... I plead the fifth. 😑

I am tagging @happy-lemon, @oasislandingresident, @spaceapples98, @bool-prop, @hazely-sims (lol if I'm the millionth person to tag you again, disregard), @camisulsul, @sim-songs, @ninjaofthepurplethings, @neillesimstories, and @autonomousllama, as well as anyone else who wants to do it and hasn't yet.

[lizard-shifter-noms]

Broken Bloodlines Chapter 1

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Hello everyone! Arc two will now be gradually uploaded (im thinking every saturday but if someone has a better suggestion im all ears) also the chapters for arc two will be shorter for ease of reading.

(i know the general attention span of people has gone down cuz Internet)

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read. (not in this chapter but in future ones)

have fun reading!

and as always reblogs are appreciated! (Also ASK's are open so feel free to bother me!)

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What? What did he just say?

I was looking at the man that had just titled himself my brother, 

older brother to be exact.

That couldn't be, could it?

He was a full Blooded elf so technically it could be.

After all, I had no idea what my elven father did before he met my mother and subsequently ditching her.

And looking at him I could see the resemblance, he looked like a colorless and stretched out version of me, including that one stubborn strand of hair that would not leave from my forehead.

Though the rest of his hair was a lot longer than mine

But the fact that he was older likely meant that not only was I a Bastard but also the result of adultery.

Fuck. 

And on top of that i had no idea what to do now, sure he was apparently my brother but i had absolutely no idea how to act.

He was essentially a stranger to me, but at least it didn't seem like he meant harm as he had not brought any weapons with him.

I was struck with the realization that had he done this just a month or so earlier he would have been executed by the old king.

Still, if he'd known about me, why was he here now? And not sooner?

“I- so wait, if you knew about me why did you only come to see me now?

Why not sooner? And why at all? 

You could just have continued to ignore me like you did till now”

He had stopped smiling, but his face still looked like porcelain and kind of unreal.

Maybe that was just an elf trait? 

I'd do my best to ignore the uncanniness of it.

He blinked before answering in the same melodic but kinda monotone voice.

“I did not know about you until recently as my mother told me the things our father did while she was on her deathbed”

Oh, so it had been a dirty little secret until the cheated on elven woman decided to come clean before moving on from this world.

Though there was no emotion in his voice when he mentioned his mother dying.

Strange guy, but I would give him a chance.

I had no idea about elven culture after all, 

So that might be normal for him?

“What else did he do? Don't tell me we have more siblings”

He shook his head slowly and elegantly.

“He died five years ago before he could sire anymore children”

Oh, so both of his parents were dead,  well both of mine were dead too since my mother had been dead for years, but frankly i did not give a fuck about a man i had never met and who decided to ditch my mom.

Then I realized something.

“Wait what's your name? You haven't mentioned it and you know mine so it's only fair if you tell me what to call you”

He seemed slightly surprised for a split second and I was almost sure I had imagined it as his face was as unmoving as ever.

“You can call me Fable, pleased to meet you Brother”

He did a little bow at the end of his sentence that I would attribute to elven culture too but to me it seemed quite unnecessary.

Also Fable surely was not his real name.

I knew Fae folk used aliases a lot as their names held power or whatever, but if he wanted to be called Fable I'd call him that.

Not that i had anything else to call him anyway, 

and the alias did kinda suit him.

“Fable it is then, sounds nice, soo uh, what do you want to do now? 

I could show you the Garden? If you want?”

Yeah, this was awkward, but showing him the garden was something simple and maybe we'd get to talk a bit more,  somewhere were there werent that many people around, maybe get to know the guy a bit more than this weird introduction.

He didn't react much other than a soft nod, so I led him to the door.

Only to almost walk into Rikaad.

“Oh, hey Rikaad, how are you?”

He looked from me to Fable and back.

“I see you met the man that was asking about you”

I nodded and Fable just stood there looking at him, 

I had to tell him that staring at people was considered weird at best and downright rude and creepy at worst.

“I- yeah, this is Fable, apparently he's my half brother”

Rikaad looked to Fable, having to tilt his head up a little at the taller man which he definitely wasn't used to, and then back at me.

“I can kinda see it now that you are standing next to each other, 

but I have to say I was very surprised as an Elf walked in, 

especially with the…history of this Kingdom.

 But i'm glad that that is in the past now, so you two have fun, i have to read some letters Maringand sent”

Letters from maringand? 

I really hoped they did not recognize him from the tower incident.

Eh, surely just bureaucratic nonsense containing congratulations on his new kingship.

“Probably just some paper stuff about you being king now,  though i have no idea why Royalty is so obsessed with that”

He shook his head a little.

“Wish i knew, i for sure do not like it,  and it wastes so much paper that it just takes up way too much space.

Well, i'll be off then, you make sure not to wander too far from the castle,

i still haven't found the paperwork about the Fae ban and i don't want anything to happen to you”

With those words he walked off to what either was his study room or what it was named or wherever they kept the mail.

I turned back to Fable.

“Did you see anything that interests you on your way here? 

We could check that out first if you want?”

He just looked at me for a few seconds before responding.

“I did not see much aside from the plants,  i came in through what i assume is the main door and the walk to the castle itself was rather short”

Right, the main door was maybe a hundred meters away from the castle, so what else could I show him?

Man this was not going well thus far.

Oh, I could show him my favorite rock, I liked to just hang out there after all!

Or was that weird? 

If he thought it was weird I might be able to pass it off as human culture.

Or maybe I could just tell him it was my preferred place as a lookout at, Well, nothing really.

Yeah, I'd do that, and maybe I could ask him a bit more about Ardua,  He was the Elven side of the family after all.

But what if he thought I was an idiot for not knowing stuff?

Maybe I'd try to finally talk to Oakley about it first.

I really did not want to be seen as an idiot not even an hour into meeting him, I'd ask Oakley first for sure.

I also noticed that while we had walked a bit around the castle Fable had not once spoken of his own volition other than when he greeted me.

Maybe he thought it would somehow be rude? I didn't know much about elven culture so maybe the host always had to speak first?

Aside from that, he seemed a bit…vacant, to say the least, 

but not in the way Robin was, more like an empty vessel.

Fable was just there and not interacting with anything around him unless he had to or was told to.

He wasn't even reacting to the cat purposefully walking in his path,  he just stepped over her and she seemed annoyed enough to slink off into the garden again.

Now while I had no idea what Elves were like I had to admit that this was.. Odd, very odd.

Or maybe it was somehow not allowed to interact with another person's pet? Was that rude for Elves?

Maybe he'd just read about human culture and responded how he thought he was supposed to?

It would explain why he was so weird, and the staring thing.

I'd have to tell him that people were unnerved by that.

Maybe some smalltalk would get him to open up a little? 

Even if I hated smalltalk.

“So you said you are my older brother, how old are you then?”

He turned to face me while not breaking his gait whatsoever.

“I am currently twenty-one, and you are as i have been told eighteen,  Is that correct?”

Finally he asked an actual question.

“Yes, im eighteen, as are half of my friends,  I'll introduce you to them later, after i showed you around a little”

I’d title the rock as my favorite lookout, I had no idea if titling it as my preferred sunspot would sound weird or not.

Well, he had to know about Ardua so it might not be? Whatever the case, I did not want to look like more of an idiot than I already was.

Lookout it was then.

And we had already reached it, 

I'd better warn Fable about the ledge though.

“Well, this is one of my favorite places at the castle, the boulder over there makes for a nice lookout and the stone itself has no jagged edges so you can sit on it without having to worry about getting cut.

You do have to be careful about the edge of the cliff though,  it's not a hundred percent stable everywhere so keeping a few meters away might save you from falling down”

He still just stood next to me, but I could see he was looking all over the place, likely taking in the scenery.

Still, his face did not change,  which was weird but maybe elves had different facial cues?

Then he spoke again, albeit still a little monotone.

“It is a pretty place, the rock looks worn down from years of humans walking over it and you can see very far out from here”

He was now looking over the edge of the cliff which was still a good few meters away, I now had to show him that the rock was safe to stand on as long as it wasn't wet.

“Yeah, you can see even further by standing on the rock itself,  don't worry it's really sturdy,  you just have to make sure you don't slip, come on i'll show you”

I walked up the rock and beckoned him to follow which he did.

Standing at the top of the boulder one could see really far away, And really far down too.

Id have to ask someone how tall it was exactly,  surely SOMEone had measured that before.

There was a light breeze blowing, but it was so weak that there was no danger of suddenly getting swept off by it.

“What do you think Fable? Isn't this beautiful? 

Can you see anything cool?”

He walked up next to me and looked far out, likely looking for something of interest, without shielding his eyes from the sun which was a bad idea so I'd make sure to get him to a more shadowy spot after this.

He answered my question, just as monotone as ever.

“I can see a fleet of boats, they have blue and gray flags on their mast’s”

I looked wherever Fable was looking and he was right,  Some maringand ships, big ones too, all lined up in a nice row while sailing along the coast.

“Those are Maringand ships, Maringand is the neighboring kingdom, no idea what they are doing though”

They were in some sort of formation, maybe a sailing exercise?

“Whatever, not our Problem, what do you wanna do next?”

I'd like to get him out of the sun, he was a pale person so he'd definitely get sunburn if he stayed out of the shade too long.

“I do not know what else there is to see, i do not know the area”

Right, he'd never been here before. 

How would he know where anything was? That was really stupid of me.

I'd just show him uhh, Oakleys tower! 

Yes, that was in a more shadowy area too so he wouldn't get sunburn!

“I could show you Oakleys tower? 

Oakley is a friend of mine albeit a weird one, very weird,  but he's an okay guy if a bit silly and annoying at times”

I waved at him to follow and hopped off the rock back onto the grass.

Oh wait Oakley wasn't human either, id better mention that.

“Oakley isn't human, he’s, well i don't know what its called but he has birdlike legs and his arms are wings with a few fingers and a thumb”

Fable just stared at me as expressionless as he'd been since I saw him first like half an hour ago.

“With Wings and Bird Legs he might be a Harpy”

Harpy? I was pretty sure I heard that before, but I thought they had Feathers or something? 

Maybe Oakley was also a Bastard and just didn't wanna tell anyone?

I wasn't about to pry though, He'd helped me too much as that I would invade his privacy like that.

“Well, maybe? I haven't asked him because i thought it was rude, and i've known for a few weeks now so it would just be awkward”

Continuing to walk through the denser trees I noticed Fable had to duck a lot more than I did, well he was taller by like a head.

“Hey, how tall are you anyway? It's something over six feet right?”

Asking for his height surely wasn't considered rude was it? I hoped not.

“I am six foot four exactly”

Was that tall for an elf? I wouldn't ask that though,  I didn't want to be seen as more of an idiot than I was.

“Huh, i'm just five ten, well most of the time”

He seemed confused about the last part and I noticed he did not have an Ardua Bracelet, well Oakley had said they were rare and maybe he didn't know that this was one?

It was possible that they didn't all have the same design after all.

“Il show you what i mean later, here isn't enough space, and i want to show you around the Castle first anyway”

He gave a tiny nod and I shoved one of the bushes a bit to the side to reveal that we had reached Oakleys tower.

The askew building had seen better times but also a lot worse ones.

Oakley really managed to make that dusty hull livable again, 

and he also put a hammock into the old Oak Tree.

It looked a lot nicer than before and I wondered how long it would take him to finish putting his stuff away.

“Donovan!”

I looked at the source of the voice and saw Robin sitting on the ground next to the herbs he had planted.

Right, he'd been busy with this while I went to the castle.

The cat was also there and Robin was using a long leaf of grass to play with her.

Robin didn't know that the pale elf next to me was my brother though, I'd better tell him before he heard it from someone else and got confused.

“Hey Robin! Come here for a sec, i want you to meet Fable”

He tilted his head in confusion and the cat snatched the blade of grass away from him.

He stood up and patted the dirt off of him while me and Fable walked fully into the little clearing that surrounded the tower.

“So this is Fable-”

I pointed at the elf.

“-and uhh turns out he's my half brother?”

Robin looked confusedly between both of us for a few seconds.

“i can kinda see that, you both got the hair thingy”

He motioned to his forehead and I knew exactly what he was speaking of.

He stepped in front of Fable who was almost comically taller than him.

“Are you okay? You are very pale”

Oh, Robin probably had never seen an Albino before, fuck.

I hoped Fable wouldn't take offense to it.

“Robin he's Albino, Pale is normal in that case”

He still seemed a bit confused.

“What's an Albino?”

He didn't even know what an Albino was in the first place, 

I couldn't help but put my hand over my face at this.

“Albinism is just when the body does not make pigments, you know the stuff responsible for hair and skin color, that doesn't work in an Albino”

Now he seemed to get it, but i couldn't blame him,  barely anyone knew what an Albino was as they were really rare.

He turned to Fable with a rather miserable expression.

“Sorry, i didn't know, didn't wanna be rude”

Fable just stared at him for a bit before he answered.

“No offense taken”

Phew, I only now noticed how tense I had gotten,  and that I wouldn't have known what to do if they didn't get along.

Well, it seemed they did as Robin dragged the cat over and presented her to Fable.

“This is the cat that keeps walking around here,  i like her, she's nice and fluffy”

Fable just stared at the Feline,  did they not have cats wherever the Elves lived? Well as far as i knew Humans had been the ones to domesticate the little tigers.

And to the Cats credit she didn't seem to mind that Robin held her like a wet Towel which left her legs dangling over nothing.

“Mrow?”

Fable face was as unmoving as ever if slightly confused,  Maybe Elves really did not have cats like this.

“You can pet her if you want, here like this”

I stretched my arm out and brushed it over the cat's head which caused her to purr.

Fable still didn't do anything, so I decided to be bold and took his arm and put his hand over the cat.

Now he seemed to get it and his slender fingers gently brushed between the cat's ears.

“She is soft”

Robin beamed at that and I couldn't help but smile at it even if Fable's expression was as neutral as ever.

Maybe he just wasn't a very expressive guy.

The cat put one of her paws up and repeatedly bapped at Fable's hand, as if trying to tug it closer, who in turn stopped and withdrew his hand.

“Mrew”

“I think she likes you!”

Robin held her a bit higher and the cat started twisting around to face him only to jump out of his hands and use her claws to climb over him and jump into the next tree.

“No wait, where are you going?”

Welp, cats will be cats,  and maybe she was sour about Fable stopping to pet her.

“She’ll come back later, she always does,  maybe she saw a bird or something”

He nodded and then turned back and excitedly pointed at the little Herb garden.

“Oh I got done with the plants! I put them so that they wouldn't obstruct anything! Do you think Oakley will like it?”

I looked at the stone enclosed patch under one of the windows of the tower.

He had arranged it really pretty, plants growing in between the freshly raked dirt and smelling of a variety of herbs I could only half identify.

I did recognize Parsley sage and thyme though and some rosemary too.

It looked really well done all in all, whatever Barsen was showing him when he had the time really paid off.

“I think he'll love it, hell, I love it, it looks very well made!”

Fable looked over to me for a second before he too took a look at what Robin had done.

“It does seem expertly made”

Was all he said but there really was no need for more words when that already was point on.

“What is expertly made?”

A voice came from above and I looked up to see the familiar winged form of Oakley perched on one of the trees.

He'd come back, and brought a big bundle of stuff with him that hung from a tree branch next to him.

That probably wasn't all of it, but surely the most important stuff for now.

“Oakley! Hey! Look, Robin made you a little herb garden!”

He dropped down from his perch and landed on his feet with practiced ease.

“So I see, practical, now I don't have to run all over the place should I need any of them, thank you little Ginger!”

Robin smiled really wide at the praise while Oakley turned to face me and Fable.

He froze for a second as he saw the Elf though.

“Am I in the right place or did I go wrong somewhere? 

What's an Elf doing in Kamerasca of all places?”

He went up close to Fable and I somehow Doubted that my halfbrother would like that.

“Uhh Oakley that's my halfbrother,  apparently my father had an actual wife before he met my mom”

Oakley blinked a few times in that birdlike manner of his before he looked back and forth between me and Fable.

“Hmmm, well there is an undoubtedly similarity,  I can do a blood test if you want?”

A what? And what for?

“A Blood test? What do you mean by that? What for anyway?”

He tilted his head which once again reminded me of a magpie or crow.

“Basically i can use alchemy to see how exactly you two are related to each other if each of you give me a drop of blood to test it on”

Oh, so he could find out who was related to who if he had a tiny blood sample of each? That was kinda cool.

“i, well I guess we could, what do you say Fable? 

Want to make sure you found the right guy?”

Fable however was just looking at Oakley,  still not moving more than necessary.

Luckily he did answer me rather quickly.

“We can do that,  even if i am fairly certain that i have found the right place”

Seems like my joke didn't land,  maybe he just didn't have any sort of humor though.

Not that I would ever claim to understand whatever Humor Elves had.

Well, I didn't think doing that could harm any of us, so why not?

“Well, why not? Wait,  do you even have the stuff you need to do that here?”

Oakley looked surprised for a second before he reacted.

“Fuckdamnit, i knew i forgot something, no matter you can just each give me a sample and i can do it later while you do... Whatever”

yeah, that sounded more like Oakley,  and we could always get the result at a later point.

He procured two empty vials from somewhere in his cloak that seemed to hold way more than it feasibly should and handed one to me and the other one to Fable.

“Here hold this for a moment i'll be right back”

I looked at it for a moment debating on how the fuck i would get any of my blood into the vial while Oakley dragged the Bundle he brought trough the door with Robins help.

I glanced over at Fable who had opened his mouth and used one of his fangs to prick his thumb before he held it over the vial.

Smart, and also he had the same Fangs I did. 

I don't know why but I had expected them to be thinner.

Maybe because he was a lanky guy.

But using his fang was a good idea so I tried the same.

I had to press a bit more than I thought as the skin was rather thick so I was a bit surprised when I finally managed to get through.

I might have went a little deeper than i wanted and it bled like fuck but at least i got enough to put in the vial.

“I would have given you tools to do that! You couldn't wait a minute???”

Both of us looked back at Oakley who had emerged from his tower and held a pair of needles in his hands.

Oh, yeah, why did I think he wouldn't give us something to do that properly?

That was really dumb from both of us, but at least i wasn't the only one.

Oakley pulled a bit of thin bandages out of his cloak and tossed them to me.

“Fucks sake, what did you even use? 

Make sure that's clean and bandaged”

He then took the vials and went back inside where I could hear something clattering as well as a few curse words that followed immediately after.

Robin walked out after that, holding the cat again who had some weird herbs in her mouth.

Catnip no doubt.

“Sorry Oakley, I will try and keep a better eye on her!”

“Did you even name the little menace? You ought to do that soon or she'll only respond to cat, Now Scram! All of you!”

I turned to Fable who had put bandaged his thumb in the meantime.

“I think we ought to leave, besides we can get whatever the result is later”

I dragged Fable away from the tower while Robin went to bring the cat back to the castle, not that she would stay there if she didn't want to.

So now we were in the middle of the small woods that grew in the Garden.

“Soo uhh i basically showed you the only two interesting things in the Garden, there might be more but i don't know where,  i’d have to ask Barsen about that” 

Fable just looked at me and silently held out the rest of the bandages.

Oh, right, my thumb was still bleeding but I had gotten lucky and none of it got on my clothes.

“Thank you”

I unraveled part of the bandage and then wrapped it around the bleeding finger, making sure it held and wouldn't slide off.

Then I realized I had nothing to cut the rest of the bandage with, 

well time to use my teeth again.

I really hadn't realized how sharp they actually were,  or how useful they were when there was nothing else to cut stuff.

Fable was just standing there, seeming awkwardly out of place.

Well what else was there to do? I could see if we were able to find Barsen and ask him if there were any cool spots?

Or we could go back to the castle and I'd show him where I was staying.

Yeah that seemed like a good idea,  and if we did meet Barsen on the way I could still ask.

“Well I have no idea what time it is but I think we'll go back to the castle and see whatever Oakley did tomorrow?”

Fable just gave a slow nod and I led him back towards the castle.

I did not see Barsen anywhere so instead I opted to show Fable the shed where I was staying.

I would not call it a shed in front of him though, I didn't want him to think the people here were mean and made me sleep in some random shed.

Which also reminded me that I had no idea where Fable was staying,  Did he have anywhere to stay here?

If not I would ask Rikaad if there was a room that he could use, 

or he probably could use the Loft thing in my room.

I had no idea how Fable was about privacy though,  it was very possible that he'd prefer to have a room to himself.

Eh, for now I'd show him my place and then offer to let him stay there.

I still thought that the castle itself was an impressive build especially with being right on top of a cliff.

Looking over at Fable I saw that he was looking at something up ahead while we walked.

Craning my neck a little I tried to see what had captured his attention.

It was Nea, with a pair of crutches since her foot was still not very usable, and she was threatening Arthur with them.

Arthur himself was not very happy about that,  especially as Nea managed to land a hit with the bottom of one of the crutches right to his abdomen.

Ouch, that had to hurt, I knew very well that Nea could pack a punch.

Oh wait neither of them had seen Fable yet,  i'd better tell them then, especially the stab happy Nea.

Both were Guards and seeing a random person that definitely wasn't from the area in the middle of the castle would probably set off alarm bells in their heads.

Also I did not want either of them to punch Fable.

So I motioned to Fable that he should follow me and walked up to the two arguing Humans who stopped as soon as they saw me.

Nea still managed to jab his foot with her crutches though, earning an angry glare, before waving at me.

“Oi who's that with ya? I never seen a fellow that pale, or tall”

People really liked to point out that Fable was pale huh.

And Nea was of course as gruff as always, and on top of that no doubt still sour about being told to take it easy with her foot.

“I-uh that's Fable, as it turns out he's my half brother”

Nea simply gave a thumbs up and sat back down on the bench that was behind her while Arthur just stared back and forth between me and Fable.

Right, Arthur had the habit of being rather hostile to new people, especially to ones taller than him.

As I kind of had Expected Arthur came a bit closer and looked at Fable with narrowed eyes.

To Fable's credit he did not react negatively to being scrutinized like this.

In fact he did not react at all besides staring right in Arthur's face who seemed to get uneasy after a few seconds of this.

Then Nea hit his back with one of the crutches.

“Leave ta Pale guy in peace ya dumbass! 

Ya ought to be more friendly to folks!”

Arthur did not take well to being assaulted like this though.

“OW! Stop hitting me!”

Nea stood back up at that and menacingly waved one of the crutches in his direction.

“I'll stop hitting ya when ya stop fussin’!”

Oh, had Arthur tried to tell her she shouldn't be outside right now?

“You're Not even supposed to be out here!”

Yep, he did, oh well not my problem.

And at least neither were now negatively engaging with Fable.

Instead they were negatively engaging with each other.

Fable however must be really confused by this display and I debated just leaving while Nea was beating Arthur with a now slightly bent crutch.

“Ow! Ow! Stop that! 

I'm only here cuz the medics said to get you back inside!”

While they were busy I turned back to Fable who was just watching this unfold in front of him with the same unemotional expression as always.

“Yeah, sorry, we can just leave and talk to both of them later,  when they are not in the same vicinity”

“Oi ya two dun have ta leave, i'll shut him up in a sec!”

I looked back at Nea who had grabbed Arthur and was wrangling him into a chokehold.

He did not look happy at that and tried to wriggle free but Nea had a tight grip on him.

Also his face started to get a bit red and I doubted he got enough air.

She'd let him go should he faint though, at least I was sure of it.

“Yeah uhh i'm not gonna ask what's going on,  i really just wanted to introduce Fable”

I pointed at the Elf who gave a polite bow.

“Well, hello! How'd you like tha place so far?”

It was astounding that Nea could carry a normal conversation while having someone in a chokehold, but it was Nea so why was I surprised?

And at least Fable gave a somewhat direct answer for once, 

maybe he was a tiny bit intimidated by her, 

I wouldn't blame him if that was the case.

“The castle seems very well kept and the Garden is taken good care of, it is a fine place to be”

Nea stared at him for a second, then laughed.

“Ya don't gotta be so polite with me, i might be a high ranking Guard but ya don't have ta be such a mannerly fella!”

She dropped Arthur, who went down to the ground with a strangled wheeze, and grabbed both of her Crutches and for the first time seeing her today used them as she was supposed to.

“Well, I see like three medics glaring at me through tha window,  so I better head back, see ya some other time!”

Looking at the castle it took me a few seconds to see what she meant but then I noticed that there were indeed a few people in medicinal getup looking out of one of the windows.

Nea herself walked at a brisk pace back inside,  damn despite only having one functional foot she was really fast.

“That's what it took? Really?”

Wheezed a form on the ground and I looked down to see Arthur holding a hand to his throat and using the bench to pull himself up with his other one.

“Are you okay? I know Nea is unreasonably strong”

He muttered a few expletives under his breath before answering for real.

“Well the only thing hurt is my pride, and neck, but im fine otherwise”

I could see that his throat was rather pink in the places Nea had held him, and his face was still a bit red too.

“Yeah, you look like you've been hanged”

He glared at me for that comment.

“Not helping, at all, so wait a second that guy there is your brother? 

Did I hear that right or did Nea squeeze a bit too hard?”

He seemed a bit winded but Nea definitely did not hold him that strongly.

“No, i mean, yes that's my Half brother, 

and no i don't think Nea squeezed you that badly”

Well I fumbled that one badly.

Arthur stood up completely and stood once again in front of Fable,  this time without narrowed eyes, and looked up at him.

“You are tall as fuck,  and i didn't think i'd meet anyone with pointier ears than he has”

For someone who used to be royalty he sure didn't act like it, he was actually rather rude but that's just how he was.

Maybe living life with other people trying to mold him into something he wasn't had left its mark and now he refused to be polite out of principle.

Whatever the case,  I wished he'd shove that attitude aside at least for a little bit.

But Fable gave no indication that this comment bothered him in any way.

But then again his face barely moved at all unless he was talking, 

it was like a mask and a tiny bit unnerving if i was honest.

But I did not let that bother me, sure it was a bit hard to figure out what he was thinking but aside from that he was a really polite person.

Or maybe he was afraid of fucking up like i was.

Maybe introducing him to Arthur without telling the shorter man about it beforehand was a bad idea, maybe we'd better leave now.

“Well i was just about to show Fable where im staying, 

you can continue with whatever you were doing though”

Arthur looked back at me then.

“Yeah, sure, my neck hurts now anyway so im going to check with a nurse to make sure Nea didn't strain it too bad, 

you have fun or whatever”

He walked off into the castle while carefully holding his neck and i turned back to Fable ready to apologize for Arthur's dumb behavior. 

“Don't mind him, he's not usually like that,  he's just sour about Nea putting him in a chokehold”

Fable looked over to where Arthur had vanished for a second.

“That does seem like something to get upset about”

His comment was as monotone as it seemed to always be and I wondered for a brief moment if he'd ever suffered a throat injury.

If he did then i wouldn't bring it up,  though there were no scars anywhere on him that i could see.

There was also the possibility that he was just like that,  or he was afraid of saying the wrong thing to the wrong person.

Well the last part was rather relatable so i wouldn't be surprised.

I led him back around the castle towards my place trying to remember if I had left anything just lying on the floor and if I put all the dishes away from when Robin or the others were there to chat.

The only thing I could come up with from the top of my head was that there was a dirt-filled mug that had some wood sorrels,  or as Barsen had called them Oxalis, growing out of it that Robin had left on one of the mostly empty shelves.

Whatever, I'm sure it would be fine, I wasn't a messy person by any means, that and I didn't have much stuff to begin with.

Maybe that's why Oakley had called me a minimalist when he entered the shed for the first time.

Maybe I should call him messy as soon as he was done cramming all his stuff in the tower.

I was really glad that the entrance also had a smaller door that could be used by anyone not Ardua or Giant.

Even if it took a whole day to get installed I found it worth it,  and the carpenter was paid a fair amount for it too.

Opening it I thought that maybe I should install a lock too at some point.

Whatever, I'd show Fable my place and then offer to let him stay in the loft thing that I rarely used.

I noticed that the doorframe was exactly as tall as him,  any smaller and he'd have to duck.

Looking around my room i was glad that i had taken a broom to it just yesterday as it had been dusty as fuck.

I turned back to face Fable who was  looking around a bit.

“Well, this is my place, what do you think? 

Sorry if its a little messy i didn't expect company”

He looked around for a second or so more before he answered.

“You have quite the big room all for yourself,  they must hold you in high regard”

Well that was not what i had expected him to say, but his comment got me thinking.

DID they hold me in high regard? 

This was literally just a repurposed shed.

But they could have told me to go into Human form and sleep like that in one of the normal rooms like everyone else.

But they had taken the time and resources to help me build this,  and had asked for nothing in return.

Well aside from the fact that i got used as a mattress sometimes.

I still wasn't used to actually having friends huh.

But I did my best to help them too when they needed it.

Especially Robin who sometimes wanted to just hide from the world.

In the week since the first incident with his panic attack hed only asked once to be hidden away after a storm had hit the castle.

There had been no damages but it sure had been scary,  especially for someone as small as Robin.

That was also something i wasn't sure if i could talk to Fable about it, I was a hybrid so he might not have the doubled organs and if I started talking about eating people he'd think me crazy or a monster.

Then again it might also be plain rude in elven culture to do something like that, if they even could.

Yeah, I'd better not mention THAT part to him.

“I mean I guess? They are my friends after all,  oh by the way do you already have a place to stay? 

If not you can just take the loft over there, i rarely use it anyway”

I pointed to the ladder that went up to the aforementioned loft.

Fable Just nodded.

“I do not have prepared a place to stay, thank you for the offer,  i will accept it with gratitude”

He really was a mannerly guy huh,  He had even closed the door behind him.

“Well, is there anything you want to do? So far I just showed you around a bit, but what's something you want to do?”

He just looked at me, seemingly not understanding for a few seconds before he cautiously answered.

“I don't know what there even is to do in this place,  but if you have a library i would like to spend time there”

A library? I'm sure the castle had one,  if i found it in that absolute nightmare of a floorplan.

But hey! Fable finally had decided on something on his own! 

Even if books weren't my type as I found most of them boring.

But maybe that was only because I was a slow reader and didn't have the patience for some of the thicker tomes.

“Sure! I'm not entirely certain where exactly in the castle it is but we'll find someone to ask, also just to warn you the floorplan of this building is an absolute nightmare and i think the architect might have been drunk”

Fable just stared at me, he really had no sense of humor huh?

Whatever, I tried, now to find someone that knew where on this nightmarish layout of rooms.

I led Fable back outside and debated for a second if we should go through the door right beside the shed or the main one.

There was a higher possibility of us finding someone if we went to the main one so that was the best bet I figured.

Going back to the front I got distracted by a commotion at the Gate that was built into the protective wall that surrounded the castle.

——————————————————————————

NEXT / PREVIOUS / OVERSIGHT

[aajjks]

romantic and lewd 😭

BC!JK

what. the. fuck. is. going. on.

yoongi, taehyung, jimin, jin, namjoon, hoseok, everyone is shocked. did he call you HOT? did he say he wanted to fuck YOU? did he just call you DOLL?! in the span of 48 hours, you’ve gotten so much whiplash from jungkook that you aren’t sure if he’s been cloned or not.

where is the jungkook that calls you a whore? where is the jungkook that calls you a loser?

you aren’t sure who this jungkook is and now he’s telling you to walk with him to the mathematics class you both share but he hasn’t been in his classes since forever!! you’re nervous about whether you should walk with him and when you look for danielle approval, jungkook grabs your wrist and drags you with him anyways.

“what the hell is up with your leader?” danielle says to yoongi but he doesn’t know. neither of them know but what he does know is that he isn’t liking this. you and him, together or whatever the hell jungkook wants it to be.

“he really does like her” jimin shakes his head.

“what?! likes her?! jungkook…likes…y/n?”

“no” hoseok speaks up “he loves her. he said so yesterday. he broke jongin’s nose cause he broke y/n’s headphones and said that she was his”

“how could he love her if he bullied her?”

“that’s what i’m trying to figure out. he said he hates her danielle and now look at him” yoongi glares.

*RIIIIIIIING*

“i’ve gotta go to class. see you guys” danielle says before she’s heading off to class while the guys converse about what’s going on with jungkook. meanwhile, you and your ex bully? friend? sit next to one another with jungkook pulling your chair close to his.

you push your spectacles up and try to catch jungkook up with what’s going on but he doesn’t seem to be interested, as you expected. all he’s really focused on is your freckled face, your lips, and your bare, smooth legs.

“ehem” you cough trying to get his attention and when you do, you make him read the little note you read in your binder.

‘pay attention please! ☹️’

well, how can he when you smell, look, and feel so good next to him?

‘thanks for the compliment earlier btw. if you meant that, ha ha’ you scribble down and smile at him as he’s reading.

“you have permission to partner up and work together. i want this finished before the end of the day. good luck” the teacher says as they pass out the sheets of paper with 30 questions from front to back.

“alright, i guess we’re partners huh?” you smile and inwardly cringe at your joke because you guys are LITERALLY sitting next to one another so why wouldn’t he be your partner?

“i feel like you’re a lot smarter than you let on so…you should take the lead”

You seem to be radiating, and that is the best thing about him being nice to you because he really gets to see another side of you that’s not.. so shy.

And he’s really glad to be sitting next to you and you are actually a funny person, he smiles whenever you blush at his shameless stares, of course the fucking teacher has to ruin the moment.

“Fuck.. I don’t even know basic math- yn I am fucking dumb when it comes to studies okay? Umm… thank God you’re sitting next to me.” he honestly confesses, but then he wants to impress you as well.

So he just decides to focus on the worksheet in front of him. And the first question is not so hard, so he internally breathes in relief

Which of the following is not greater than 7/16?

1/2

31/62

15/17

3/8

He thinks for a while, and you’re already circling on your answer, Jungkook decides to take a little peek at your paper because of course he has to make sure that he’s doing right- you’re so focused you don’t even notice him cheating.

“OH ITS 3/8 YN.” he doesn’t realize that he’s screaming, but when he feels the weight of of the entire class’s eyes on him he smiles awkwardly.

And just like that, he doesn’t realize before he is submitting his paper, “yn I think I did pretty good don’t you agree?” He’s got a cocky smile on his face.

And he really wants you to praise him for some reason… so he’s looking at you so innocently- using his doe eyes charm, “I think it was good.” Maybe he’s even flattering his lashes a little.

And you both have a good time, he doesn’t even realize that someone is glaring at you and him.

[blahpanblah]

I’ma ramble about Moss x Glitch headcannons.

Pre-Relationship.

Okay so, I already made a fic about how they first met. Read that if you want. But the gist was of it is Miss finds Glitch stuck in a trash can, and now a many questions.

My headcannon about Moss which is a very important one for this relationship, is that Moss has the need to know everything about something. He’ll respect privacy, but he HATES being the only one not in the know.

Now, onto their friendship: I can see Moss wanting to know more about Glitch. What they are, what they can do, and what they do for hobbies. While Glitch is just indifferent to it all.

It’s not like Glitch doesn’t care about what Moss’ questions. In a way, they do want to know more about themselves. They honestly have the same amount of confusion Moss has. Unlike Moss though, They don’t really care about it. It was just never on their small attention span.

(ADHD is a bitch)

But Glitch doesn’t mind talking to Moss. They like spending their time with him. Letting themselves ramble about their special interests while Moss listens is nice way for Glitch to spend their time together.

“…Oh! And one of my favorite thing to stab is something squishy. Like jello or something. Watching the wiggle as I stab chunks out of it is so cool.”

“Very interesting.”

Moss has notepads filled with things Glitch does. But half way through their meet ups he begins to forget to write them and just listens to them speak.

And it’s not like it’s a one-way street either. Moss talks about himself sometimes as well. Although it’s either about his intense love for anything bright or gossip.

Now the fire stuff, Glitch doesn’t mind. They learned a few things about fire through them and even attempt to stab it out of curiosity. Which is an event that almost got them both killed. With Glitch trying to recklessly stab the element, as Moss tries to stop them while trying to ignore his own moth instincts.

Gossip on the other hand is a miss for them. Their not one to really care about most of the time. “Oh, yeah. Bobby recently got a new partner after he caught his last one cheating on him. And now the ex is out for revenge, yadda yadda.” This is very boring to Glitch.

But they can see why Moss is so passionate about this. And like vice-versa, Glitch likes to just listen them ramble.

It was at a point where they stop hanging out with the purpose to learn more about each other, but to hang out to just… hang out.

Of course, you can imagine this would eventually lead up to the both of them catching feelings.

For Glitch, Oh, mama for this enby, they don’t understand their own emotions most of time. I mean, fuck, what are these feelings?! They like spending time with him and just want to snuggle with him? What the fuck?

For Moss, I doubt this is his first crush. But it’s possibly the first one the he wants to pursue. Y’know, just see if it works or doesn’t or not. Plus, he loves Glitch’s passions and impulsiveness.

So naturally, it would be Moss to make the first move… Or at least the first move that is noticed. See Glitch isn’t stupid by any means, but they can be VERY oblivious at times.

The number one way I can see Moss flirting with Glitch is in his natural gossip sharing way. But it would go RIGHT through Glitch’s head.

“Glitch, I heard a rumor that someone has special feelings for another.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. Apparently, this person is very mysterious and alluring, yet very passionate about the things they care about. They could act silly, and yet there always genuine on their feelings.”

Moss leans closer to Glitch.

“Not to mention, they are mighty attractive.”

“Uh huh.”

“You get what I’m saying here?”

“Yeah, someone has a crush on someone. Good to know.”

And then Moss would just stare at them, currently in confusion.

This would repeat on so many occasions that Moss would assume that he was barking up the wrong tree or something. And would slowly give up pursuing them.

Thankfully, this is when Glitch would confess their feelings to him. To which Moss would over the moon for. Glitch would of course be surprised once being told they were being flirted with for weeks.

Romantic Relationship.

What? You thought the main gist of a relationship is you confessing to another and that’s it? Naw, bitch, now your fucking dating!

Now, the main way I could describe this relationship is Chaotic x Calm.

Moss isn’t exactly a goody-two-shoes, but he isn’t chaotic. Seeing that he does tend to exaggerate the gossip he’s told.

Glitch… Yeah their chaotic as fuck. What did you expect me to say? That they DON’T like stabbing random things they see? Pff.

If I were to say which type of spoons they are. I would say their both switches. One could be a big spoon one day the next day they feel like a small spoon.

You could also say that about something something else if you know what I mean. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The kind of dates these two would go on… Are mostly chill. Cozy dates are more of Moss’ style. And something calming could help calm Glitch down as well. Think picnic dates at the park, coffee dates, or even indoor picnics.

Moss’ favorite thing about Glitch is probably their bluntness. Can it be rude?Sometimes. But he knows he can trust Glitch to tell it as it is in any situation.

For Glitch, definitely the fact that Moss thinks things through. Not that Glitch doesn’t do that, it’s that they don’t do it…often. But Moss is, most of the time, the decision maker when it comes to responsibilities in the relationship is mostly Moss. While Glitch is everything else.

But that’s where they also improve each other. Glitch learns to be more responsible with Moss. Whenever he gets sick. Mama Glitch mode is activated. Making him eat all of the soup he needs and stays with him the whole time. When Moss overworks himself, Papa Glitch mode activated. Telling him to go to sleep and gets some rest.

For Moss, he becomes more of a risk-taker. He’ll sometimes help with Glitch’s shenanigans, and maybe, just maybe, stab a few things.

How deeper in love Glitch fell that night was immaculate.

And he Moss is usually not one to take a lot of breaks. And yet thanks to Glitch, he’s able to take a chill day to sharpen that saw to hang out with them or with friends.

Moss one million percent calls Glitch things like. “My love.” Or “Darling.” And that, one trillion percent, gets flustered by it.

If I had to go ahead pick and say if they were to have an argument over something. It would be either one of two things. Moss overworking or Glitch’s impulsiveness.

Like I said before, Moss tends to overwork himself a lot, whether it’s by working on an essay or something else. Any Glitch could get upset at him. For staying up so late, and it would lead to some unmeaningful words from Moss. Saying that they have never put in effort in anything worthwhile their entire life.

For the other, Glitch’s actions could probably almost get them killed one day. And Moss would berate them for putting themselves in danger. To which Glitch would basically call Moss a pansy coward who too scared to do anything himself.

This would lead to the outcome to one or the other immediately apologizing and taking a few days apart. But it would lead to the same end. With them apologizing again. And making up.

I just love these two.

[the-boy-meets-evil]

some habits are hard to break | jjk (teaser)

pairing: jungkook x f!reader genre: non-idol!au, angst, smut, unhealthy relationships rating: explicit, minors dni length: teaser - 870 words summary: you know better than to text jungkook because he's always going to answer and you're always going to end up in the same place again. you're just hoping that this time, despite how it started, things might be different. warnings (for the finished product): swearing, drinking, toxic relationships (they know it's toxic), kissing, unprotected sex (vaginal), oral sex (m, f receiving), semi-public sex, fingering, hand jobs, cheating, mentions of therapy, mentions of past trauma (nothing explicitly stated, just general), fighting teaser notes: i haven't finished writing this yet, so it's subject to change. and fair warning, it's smutty and a very bumpy ride along the way.

Every single thought is the same. You know better than to send the text sitting on your phone. You know precisely why it’s wrong. You know that nothing is ever going to change.

Here’s the thing. You’re in a healthy, stable relationship with someone who’s good to you and for you. He’s honest and caring, funny and sweet. Despite all of your baggage, he never makes you feel less than, never makes you feel broken. This is the first time in your life that you’ve been able to lay all your shit on the table and have someone accept it unconditionally. And he always does what he says he’s going to. You’re never up waiting at 2 in the morning, wondering where he is because he hasn’t called or texted. 

So, yeah, things with him are good, great even. 

But…

And that’s the thing, isn’t it? As soon as there’s a but, it’s like you can’t see all of the good. It’s all just a placeholder before what may be the worst three-letter word in the English language. You wonder if it means there’s just something fundamentally wrong with you. Who looks for the “buts” of every situation? Why can’t you just appreciate all the truly wonderful things in your relationship?

Because you’ve had the one thing you’re missing. You know it exists and it’s hard to forget.

Your boyfriend is great, perfect, even, in almost every way that matters. It’s just, you’re not exactly…satisfied. And you know that you could guide him to be better for you in that way. He just seems a bit sensitive about it at times and you don’t want to make him feel less than since he never does that to you. 

This is exactly why you’re staring at your phone. Paralyzed because you both want to send the text and know you really can’t. Your body remembers his, remembers the way the slightest touch sent your heart racing. You try to also remember every word he’s ever uttered to you, too, because he’s always been very clear about who he is. 

It’s fucked up that you’re even considering it, beyond wrong that you typed those 5 words out in an empty conversation thread. (Even though you usually keep everything, you deleted that after you got serious about your boyfriend. You say it’s to keep the temptation away, but really, how well is that working now?)

You: what are you up to?

Just like that, your need to fill your desires wins out against every other rational thought you have. Part of you hopes that he doesn’t respond. It’s been months since you last spoke and you know he’s got a short attention span. Maybe he’ll spare you having to make a final decision.

Jungkook: out getting some drinks with friends

He doesn’t. His answer comes in far quicker than you expect it to and you get that same feeling in your stomach. Like anticipation mixes with desire. You’re so fucked.

Jungkook: what are you up to?

Tomorrow you’ll look back and realize this is a chance to bow out, to realize that this is a mistake and you can still walk away. 

You don’t.

You: nothing, just at home alone

Jungkook: what about the boyfriend?

You: away for work

You know that you should feel bad now. A normal person might realize that this was destructive behavior, that you’re purposefully sabotaging your own long-term happiness for instant gratification. At least, that’s what your therapist tells you. 

Jungkook: I can be home in 15 minutes, I’m just around the corner

The message is really your last chance, whether you consciously think it or not. There was no preamble with Jungkook. He assumes you’re texting him so you can come over. And he’s right, isn’t he? You weren’t exactly texting to catch up with someone you weren’t ever friends with anyway. No, you’re both adults and you know what this is. Just like you’ve always known.

You: give me 30 and I’ll be over

Was there really any other outcome? From the moment you opened Jungkook’s contact to start a text, this was the inevitable end. You can pretend that you have control and you were on the fence. But, you know the truth, and so does Jungkook. He knows it from the moment your name appears on his lock screen. This only ends one way, the same way it’s ended countless times before. 

Thirty minutes later, after cleaning up and getting dressed, you stand on Jungkook’s doorstep. There’s a moment where you genuinely question if this is smart. Smart is the wrong word, you think. Of course, this is fucking stupid. You could ask 100 people and every single one of them would probably tell you to turn around. So no, this isn’t smart.  The real question is if you’re going to do it anyway.

Jungkook opens the door before you even knock and the question dies. There he is, in baggy sweatpants and a t-shirt, like the true fuckboy you know he is, and your body remembers. It remembers every kiss, every touch, every tremble. It starts to react without your permission.  By the smirk he’s wearing, you can tell Jungkook remembers too.

[void-speaks]

Here are the rest of my thoughts on Genloss Episode 2:

TUMBLR BROKE D:

JUST CHOOSE EVERYONE IDIOTS

HOLY SHIT DUDE WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN THE TIME TUMBLR WENT DOWN?!?!?!?!?

SNEEG AND NIKI YOOOOOOOO

NOOOOO FRAAAAAANK

FUCKING HELL DUDE

SNEEG WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOH????????

PIPE PUZZLE

Wait why are they talking about fish???

"If you're on mobile, buy a computer! Ha ha." IDBDJFBFJBFDJJDJF SLAY

I love Squiggles :D

Oh no Squiggles D:

Do not split our attention!!! We have the attention span of a fish!!!!!!!!

YOOOOOOOO

"PUT YOUR GUTS AWAY YOU SICKO" HAHSHDSHHSHDHSHSHDHDJSHHSHSHS

NO NOT AGAIN 🤢

CHARLIE PLEASE STOP DUDHFIEBDJDJXJJDJFJDDBDJJFJDJDJDJDJDJD

Ranboo really just said "I gotta go" lol

Niki :D

Oh wow candy :D

Is Ranboo zoning out?

I miss Squiggles :( where are they?

Oh lord. Board games. Holy fuck.

"OH NO" YEAH EXACTLY

Mmmm licking walls love it

"Please lick the wall..." um?????

I love Misters Squiggles they're so cool :D

OH WAIT AIMSEY IS ONE OF THE RATS HOLY :0

This is really not what I expected Genloss to be lol

Dude they're playing Legos oh my lord

Oh my god Squiggles speaks in fucking windings dude

Aimsey help :D

STOP SPEAKING IN WINDINGS I CAN'T TRANSLATE IT RIGHT NOW >:(

Aw the rats are helping <3

Yes bully the puzzle man!!!!!

STOP SPEAKING WINDINGS DUDE UDJEODFJDOKDKWPWPWOFJJFJFBCBCBCJDJDKDKSKDJDJ

Misters Squiggles fucked up the board game instructions slay my lil eldritch monstrosity!!

I love Ran they're so cool

Aw Rat Aimsey and Hero Ran <3

CHARKIE DUDJDIFJFKFJDNDNDJCIGKGOTJDJHFHFHFJF

THE ONLY GUY THAT IS OPEN EJDJSHSJSHAHSBDJSJDKCJFJSKSKKAJSJFJDKS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSHAHSHSHDHDHAHSHF

Hero Ran is so <3

Rock candy is made of real rocks???

"So I was supposed to go inside of him?" EVERYONE STARES AT RAN XD

Aw Rat Aimsy is happy :D

FUCK THE CANDY >:D

Oh my god doors

NIKI NOOOOOOOOOOO D:

HELP NIKI HELP NIKI HELP NIKI HELP NIKI

NOOOOOOOO NIKI D:

SHOOT HIM RAN SHOOT HIM

What is??? Going on?????

ANOTHER PERSON YAYA :D

pls pick Ethan <3

It's not Ethan >:(

Ohohoh they did a lil scratch

They're all gonna die anyway huh.

Ranboo??

They just had like a seizure????

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOW SQUIGGLE FRIENDS DKFJDJDJDJDJFJDJDJJF

THEY JUST???? PRESSED HIM??? WHAT THE FUCK????????? UNPRESS THE BUTTON WHAT DID YOU DO????????????????

ARE THOSE CHEATS???? ARE THEY INVINCIBLE NOW?????????? WHAT DID THAT DO?????????????????

LASER TIME >:D

DIAMOND DIAMOND DIAMOND :)

That throw slayed dude

JESUS CHRIST

Told you they were all going to die lol.

Slay Ran go go go!!

I love Ran :D

They're so cool <3

Jojo pose Ranboo come on you can do it!!!

Djjdjddndkdjrkcjdjjdjcjffjfu Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehe

Ranboo is invincible to lasers slay

SLIME HOLY SHIT

"OH MY GOSH IT'S SLIMETOWEL" YEAH!!!!!!

NÒOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OH NO SLIMETOWEL SKDJDIBDDIFBFUSUDJDJDJDJDJJFJDJDDJDJDJDJDJDJDJ BRING BACK SLIMETOWEL!!!!!!

Diamond time!

I love the Mr Squiggles simp pose hehe

CLOTH SHOP TIME

SHOPPING TIME SHOPPING TIME SHOPPING TIME LET’S GOOOOOOOO

Slay. Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss

Ohohoh who is it this time???

Merry fucking Christmas what the hell.

Yooooo puzzles

ETHAN :D

AIMYYYY YOOOOOO :D

Oh um??? The dude??????

Is this gay flirting??????????

Um?? Squiggle you good guys????

DRAG QUEENS??? DRAG TIME?????????

DRAG QUEENS TIME!!!

SISJDJDJEIDJDJDJJR "My ass is way too big" KSJDIDFJFKKDJFJFFJFJFJFJFJFJJFJFJFFJFJFJFKFK

"You want us to just know that your ass is big?" JWJFKGKDJNSKSJFJFFJKDKXJDNDKXNDNDNDND

HEHEHEHEHEHRHEHEHHR4HRH ASS JOKES LET’S GO

"Hmmmmm *takes notes*" Hehrbfjeieifbdirjfifjjekdfjjrkei3h3beheheh

I love everything they say <3

DRAG TIME! LET’S GO!!!!

"!!! GOOD IDEA ETHAN !!!" HEBDISBFIDJDJDJEJDJJRJRJRJRJRJEHRHR

"Slayyyy King!" Hehdjddjehrksijrrj you tell em Squiggles!!

Drag time drag time drag time!!!

Ran is just putting 30 jackets on simultaneously hehehe

What the fuck is going on honestly.

Heheheheheheheheheheheh

RANBOO SWEEP

I'm starving honestly.

"GET IT ETHAN" YAAAAAAAA SLAY

Djdjdbfjdbdbbddnndndjdjdjdjdhdhdhhddhshjssj what the shit

The mice are clapping hehe

Slaaaaaay

Bdndbdbdhdhejejrjdiidjksksjdjdjdjsjsisjsjs this is funny

Wooooo party time hehehehe

Oh my 🫣

Wowowowowowowow

Ranboo slay them all!!!!

Staring heheheheh

"YEAAAH RANBOOO" AGREED SQUIGGLES

"The power. Yaas"

"Puzzler got some moves" ebbrhrhehdhrhdhrhdhege

"Don't worry about my ass!" Ehehehehsosoxkeodjdke

"He just wanted us to know about his ass" yeah. Desperate times lead to desparste measures.

Wife time heheheh.

Yoooo nail polish.

Wowowowowow blue lights

No Don't go door kill

Cool painting time!

Is this thing gonna last for 4 hours?

YOOOO PARTY TIME!!!!

YOU TELL THEM AUSTIN

NO PARTY :(

Wait it's not Aimy :(

Valkyrae

Rat

RAINBOW CAPE :D

ASS JOKE LET’S GO!!!!!!

This shit is actually making me giggle hehehe

ETHAN NOOOOOOOO!!!!

"THEY SLAY'D THE SLAY KING" NOOOOOOOOO :(

Mr Squiggles is actually so funny I can't dude

Austin needs to go. Like it's only fair hahaha.

Why is Ranboo staring so much?? They're zoning ojt a lot lololol

Oh my god final test?!?!?!?!?

I wanna see Bilzo as part of the cast. And Markiplier. And Alex. Which technically the last one already is lol.

"1.Toys 2.Things 3.Cardboard" hehehe yeah

YEAH FUCK THE TV MAN!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT RANBOO????????????

I love the way they look at the camera <3

Slay Rubics Cube king!!!!!!

This is overwhelming

I'm hypnotized

Hehehehehehehe lol

I love Ranboo eyes <3

"*boop*" Hrhrhrhrhrhrhrhrhrhrhhrhrhrhr

That's... a fake wall....... it's not real...............

Squiggles!! :D

YEHA THROW HIM AWAY BOYS!!!!!

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

EW THE SOUNDS DUDE

Bye Sneeg

Crynchy bones behehehehe

GASP THEY ARE THE NEXT PUZZLER????????

Aha. Chair. Cool chair. Nice chair. Chair.

HAND????

RANBOO!!!!!!!

Ran kill Ran kill Ran kill Ran kill.

HE IS FAKE?!?!?!?!

Boooooring.

Box in box and box in box in box and in box snd in box hehehehehe

The truth????????

Decision time!

Yeah fuck the chair!!

YO TV MAN!!!!!!

Chair back!!!!!

ALEX???????????????? IS THAT YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?

SHOW TIME???

YEHA WE SAW THE GUTS DUDE?!!?!!?!?!

SNEEG?????? FRIEND???? WAKE UP??????????? GENERATION LOSS???????????

I like their voice :)

Um?? Uncomfortably close yehsheysyshydye

Don't approach the camera oh no

HOLY SHIT

SHOWFALL MEDIA?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!!?!?

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHOWFALL MEDIA!!!!!!!

WAIT OH MY GOD RANBOO SWEAR HOLY MOLY!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait so the Showfall Media people made everything seem like a silly entertainment show kinda thing when in reality it was all horrifying and gory? Like with Ranboo tearing open Slimecicle? Is that what they're trying to say? Terrifying.

Boy I am exhausted and hungry.

[truckreincarnation]

Shadow of Your Former Self || Chapter 3 Motive

You are Sinéad Horan. You're not actually related to One Direction’s heartthrob Niall Horan, but the collective attention span of the internet means you can get away with claiming to be his distant cousin every now and then, and still reap all of the clout that comes with it. It's not like anyone is a social mediasochist enough to connect your Wattpad account to your life, right? You have a circle of loyal followers who hang onto your claims, vague enough that you won't be crucified if they ever call your bluff, and believable enough that they want more. Life is good.

You are Krishnamoorthi Praveen. Ever since your relatives convinced you to get on Facebook, you’ve been obsessed with MouseHunt. There’s just something about the fun of collecting all the different variations of mice out there that tickles that competitive part of your personality, to the point you have published online guides about how to best exploit the Hunting Horn with cheat tools. Your mother disapproved of your addiction until you won a full scholarship to MIT for your programming work, and now she talks about you to anyone who will listen.

You are Declan McInerny. You've played soccer for the last ten years ever since your father proclaimed to his drinking buddies that you were the next coming of Ronaldo, and while you now get that he was only doing the dad thing and hyping you up, it's stuck with you enough that your first professional match has been scheduled for next weekend. If all goes well, you'll be substituted in during the second half, and maybe you'll get close enough to a goal to talk about the experience, and then people will start subscribing to your YouTube channel in earnest.

You are Reina. No one knows what your real identity is, but you’re a cosplayer with aspirations of going to Japan, and you’re probably in Europe based on when you say you’re going to sleep. You own two cats that you adore, and have a step-sister that’s younger than you by either two or three years after your widowed mother remarried. You have saved up money by attending community college, you own a bicycle, and you enjoy clubbing on the weekends because of the local music scene. One day, the cosplay community will know your name… At least, that’s what anyone has publicly ever found about you, and you think only about half of it is actually true.

(cw: implied transphobia)

You are Adrian Udella Susanto, and for the last few years, you’ve been sharing your journey of transitioning with people who genuinely support you. Well, there’s no way to tell how genuine they actually are, but it’s more than what your ex-parents have done, especially since they’ve disowned you over the summer holidays. It’s fine, there’s no love lost, and it’s worth being able to express yourself without the fear of being caned. Recently, you’ve had your eye on someone, and you really hope that they’ll understand and accept you for who you are too.

(end cw)

You are LMFAO4evafangirl20, or as you’re better known to your circle of friends, Yong Weiqi. You think that the news of them taking an indefinite hiatus is the dumbest thing you’ve heard, and now that it’s been over a year, you’re starting to dread that they’re never actually coming back to party rock again. At least you can be sure that Smosh will never split apart, right?

You are Madelyn Somerville, but your friends call you Lyn, and your new boyfriend calls you his lovely madeleine. It's a little cheesy, but you tolerate it because he adores you so much that he buys expensive gifts for you every weekend. This time, it's a pretty pearl necklace that's worth more than what you can ever hope to earn in a year, and you make sure to reassure both him and your followers that no, he's not just your sugar daddy this time, this loving relationship is very real. You hope they all understand you mean it too.

You are Chieze Iwuji, and you're the first of your family to go to a university. Canada is far away from your home back in Nigeria, but your father is determined to give you the best education he’s never had, and he doesn't begrudge you for feeling lost. But your sister does begrudge you, and you can't blame her; despite the fact she's older than you by half a decade, you're the first and eldest son, and thus the recipient of all the wonderful opportunities that are denied to her. You haven't spoken for two years now, and it hurts, it hurts to lose that part of your life because of choices outside of your control. You know what this degree will do for your future, but you just wish she understood there was a place in that future with you.

(cw: terminal illness, existential dread)

You are Kazunari Aikawa, and your life could end today. That is the reality you have lived with ever since you were diagnosed with a malignant spinal cord tumour months ago, but you have yet to give up hope. You make sure to vlog every afternoon you continue to shoulder the agony, to document every exercise, every procedure, every kind smile you can give in spite of the pain. You sign off each video with an earnest wish to meet again the next day. You understand that the streak of daily uploads to your channel might be cut off without warning one day, and there will be nothing you can do about it when there is already very little you can do about yourself. But as long as that record survives, as long as it might help one other person find their strength to persevere against all odds, you'll be happy. You're getting married tomorrow; this weekend, if you live that long, the laminectomy that will decide your fate. You're as ready as you can be.

(end cw)

BEEP!

The alarm sounds. It’s 7am, and soon, your father will be awake to make breakfast. You aren’t expected downstairs, but you go anyway because your family is the one part of your life that you don’t want to escape from. You forcibly pull yourself out of your own headspace, and start to close the hundred different tabs on your browser: the Facebook pages, the Pinterest boards, the burner accounts that you’ve made to follow and learn more about each individual life as an unknown, unseen presence on the internet. 

Eternally, occasionally gratefully, overshadowed by the stories of people far more interesting than you ever will be.

You step into your bathroom to wash your face, and tired, grey eyes stare back through glasses. You are Vivian Lockwood once more, and as you do every morning, you try to remind yourself that these invasive, nonexistent, parasocial relationships have to end somewhere.

They never do.