#you can just prefer ted remaining with the characters the audience knows and cares for

[benicebefunny]

Everyone bemoaning the exceptional heteronormativity of Ted returning to Kansas when avoiding childcare responsibilities to talk about sports with your bros is one of the straightest things a man can do.

[impalementation]

Hi! I was wondering, seeing as you talk about the later seasons a lot (which I get, I prefer them too), if you have any like short observations about the earlier seasons as well.

Ooh, nice question! Thanks for asking. Gonna stick just to seasons 1 and 2, since this got long.

Season 1: Does not get nearly enough credit for having very coherent arcs in terms of both character and theme. There’s a beautifully clear line from Buffy wanting nothing to do with slaying in Welcome to the Hellmouth and her willing sacrifice in Prophecy Girl. There’s also the way the season is clearly playing with its cheesy horror aesthetic…a season-long Buffy vs. Dracula in some ways. It’s not new analysis on my part to point out that the Master is essentially a symbol of tradition and old-school horror. I love that the Master has this religious pomp to him, because the vampire aesthetic has been about perverting religious iconography all the way back to its earliest incarnations, especially Dracula. Except instead of that perversion being sexy, or even scary, it’s just sorta…boring.  As Buffy will say in season 3: “We get it, you’re evil. Do we have to chat about it all day?” Buffy quippily triumphing over the Master is like her triumphing over ponderous (not to mention Victorian, masculine, etc) genre tropes.

It’s my least favorite season, and I skipped about half of it on my last rewatch. There isn’t as much meat there, relatively. But I still think it’s a very solid thesis statement for the show. It positions the show as subversive and metatextual, as something that is “doing stuff.” It has the mix of absurd, iconic wit (���What is your childhood trauma?”), and emotional devastation (“I’m sixteen…I don’t wanna die”) that will remain present throughout. It’s a great lesson in how to create an original tone and voice right off the bat.

Also, I adore Buffy’s characterization in season 1. She’s so human, from the very beginning, in a way that’s such a fuck-you to how audiences might think fictional heroes or non-male characters, are “supposed” to be. She’s girlish, she’s good (the way she befriends Willow in the very beginning?), she gets nervous, she gets afraid, she gets impatient. She wants to be a cheerleader, she wants to think about boys, she’s gutted when she thinks her father’s rejected her (god that scene in Nightmares kills me), and she turns down a friend with careful, firm compassion. She not just a hero, she’s a person. Season 2: One of my favorite seasons of television, for all that I don’t talk about it much. But one of the reasons I don’t talk about it much is because its excellence feels just sort of apparent. I enjoy it more as an “experience” than as something to discuss.

They say that the best parodies of things are also good examples of those things, and I think that’s how I’d describe the way season 2 handles romance. Just as season 1 was subverting tropey vampire horror, while also kind of reveling in it…I see season 2 as subverting tropey teen love and the Romantic side of vampires, while also being completely sympathetic to the appeal of them. Buffy and Angel may not do much for me personally, but the narrative still convinces me that the characters believe that they are devastatingly in love. And I’m glad it does. The season walks this wonderful line between “love is real” and “stories are lies.” Love takes such a beating this season: Angel’s transformation and death, Jenny’s betrayal and death, Spike and Dru as the demonic mirror version of young lovers, I Only Have Eyes For You, Ted. Stories take a beating: everything in Lie to Me, the fact that Jenny is obeying a story re: Angel, the fact that Ted is programmed with a story re: love, the fact that Angelus is a voyeuristic manipulator (shades of the Trio, perhaps?), the fact that there is not a happy ending. But on the other hand, we really do believe that Buffy and Angel or Giles and Jenny love each other. Or that Giles and Joyce love Buffy. The season itself is highly Romantic, a totally engaging story rife with high-octane emotional manipulation.

And I love that the show walks right into that cognitive dissonance, and shamelessly rolls around in it. It’s the beginning of the show not just subverting its genre context, but also subverting itself, or at least: being self-reflexive. I’ve said before that I see season 2 as directly related to season 6, because I see both as being, in large part, about the value of stories. Both 6 and 2 are highly melodramatic while also being highly skeptical of that.

I also love season 2 for continuing the pattern set up in season 1, where Buffy’s heroism is about her doing things that are emotionally difficult for her. Her heroism is never about her superpowers, never about the latest apocalypse plot, never just about the audience going “fuck yeah”. It’s about the fact that she doesn’t want to die, she doesn’t want to kill someone she loves, she knows that being heroic will hurt her…and yet she does it anyway. Her “fuck yeah” moments like “What can I say, I flunked the written?” or “What’s left?” “Me” are exhilarating because of how emotionally earned they are. Buffy’s characterization in seasons 1 and 2 doesn’t just thumb its nose at the idea that heroic characters can’t be human. It presents a convincing argument that hero stories are actually better, and more exciting if the hero is human.

[eichy815]

Twitter, Twitter, Little Star IV: Summer 2017 Edition

Originally Published on July 20, 2017 on Eichy Says

By now, most of you know that I’m a connoisseur of ABC���s The View and CBS’s The Talk – two daytime gabfests hosted by quintets of opinionated women from various celebrity walks-of-life.  When they open up their daily discussion topics to receive feedback from at-home viewers, I view it as an exercise in contributing to social commentary and pop culture.

The following are statements made by me over social media throughout the last two-and-a-half months, retweeted by the shows’ producers.  Following my “Spring 2017 Edition,” here are 103 tweets of mine – disseminated through my Twitter handle of @eichy815 – displayed in front of millions of other Americans who also enjoy The Talk and The View.  The text of each of my tweets, as each one of them had appeared in front of a national television audience, is denoted in bold.

The first 11 are my tweets broadcast by The View during this two-month period.

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May 4, 2017

What’s your reaction to Ben Carson saying we can’t make government-run housing too “comfortable” for its occupants because that would encourage them to become dependant?

“Carson is in way over his head.  Trump should have appointed him as Surgeon General, instead.”

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May 5, 2017

Is infidelity normal in a marriage?

“If a married couple sets boundaries and leeway for one another upfront, it can mitigate future disconnects over infidelity.”

Do you think teenagers should go to their parents for dating advice?

“Most teenagers are going to prefer dating advice from an older sibling, uncle/aunt, cousin, or family friend, rather than a parent.”

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MAY 8, 2017

Did Kurt Eichenwald’s health care comments (where he wished for suffering upon Republicans and their families) go too far?

“We need to get past this type of thinking, and, instead, push a solution that’s going to benefit a larger and broader amount of Americans.”

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MAY 17, 2017

Miley Cyrus regrets getting naked for her Wrecking Ball video.  Do you agree that her humiliation is justified?

“She has nothing to be embarrassed about.  She’s a performer, and it was iconic.”

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MAY 30, 2017

Are comedians dividing the country politically?

“No, I would blame the citizens who use cheap rhetoric from comedians as an excuse to mistreat fellow Americans in daily life.”

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JUNE 12, 2017

Are women treated differently in the workplace while they’re pregnant?  

“There should be no shame in pregnancy at any workplace.”

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JUNE 19, 2017

What do you think of family wedding planner Lynn Patton being appointed by Trump as HUD department head for the New York and New Jersey divisions?

“This isn’t technically nepotism...but it’s too close to cronyism.”

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JUNE 21, 2017

What should Democrats begin doing differently to win elections?

“Democrats need to redirect their money and efforts into swing districts held by vulnerable Republicans.”

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JUNE 26, 2017

Former tennis star John McEnroe said that Serena Williams is a great tennis player “for a girl” but would rank 700th amongst male tennis players.  Your reaction?

“Disregarding and discounting someone else’s skill BECAUSE OF their sex *is* the clearest definition of sexism.  Shut up, John!”

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JULY 11, 2017

Do you agree with Republican poll respondents who say colleges and universities are harmful to our children?

“They assume all professors are unbalanced liberals.  College professors are a little more diverse than they’d like to believe.”

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And then, here are 92 additional tweets of mine – once again, submitted through my Twitter handle of @eichy815 – that scrolled across the screen while the ladies of The Talk engaged in their discussion segments.  Each tweet of mine is denoted in bold.

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MAY 2, 2017

An inebriated American man on a Tokyo-to-Los  Angeles flight was charged with assault for brawling with another passenger.  How do you deal with drunks?

“I am really nice to them and humor them...until someone with actual defensive weapons shows up as reinforcements.”

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MAY 3, 2017

What do you think of Maryland parents Heather and Mike Martin losing custody of their children and stepchildren after posting a cruel prank on social media?

“I think it’s a good precaution in the short term, until their parental fitness can be reevaluated.”

Have you ever needed your friends to prevent you from contacting someone?

“I often need my friends to ‘talk me off the ledge’ whenever I let a toxic individual get to me.”

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MAY 4, 2017

If you were a public figure who was accused of infidelity, would you use every platform available to deny it?

“Yes, I would!  Tabloids have so many legal loopholes at their disposal, you have to fight fire with dynamite.”

What other changes would you like to see happen in social media?

“Allow more personal control over privacy settings, including tutorials for new users.”

What do you think of the trend of recreating parent/child baby pictures?

“Some of them can be cute or clever, but it depends entirely upon their execution.”

What pacifiers have you used to run for your feelings?

“Food and television.”

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MAY 8, 2017

How harmful do you think it is to fight in front of your child?

“If the fight becomes heated and vicious – very unhealthy!”

What’s your reaction to Emma Stone advocating for gender-neutral acting award categories?

“If the character [who is] being portrayed is transgender or intersex, this can be a valuable new category to add to award shows.”

Should celebrities be expected to endure criticism for their fashion choices no matter what?

“I find criticisms of fashion – either celebrities or non-celebrities – to be frivolous and a waste of time, in general.”

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MAY 9, 2017

What’s your reaction to The National Enquirer claiming that Sharon Osbourne has only weeks to live from her back surgery?

“Own your upbeat vibrancy, Mrs. O.!  Make them (the tabloids) look foolish!”

What do you think of the airport riot that broke out after a pilots’ strike on Spirit Air resulted in twenty cancellations and delays?

“Airlines *need* to have better contingency plans in place to deal with these unforeseen delays and cancellations.”

Do you think you would know what to do if you were attacked by an animal?

“This is why I support tranq-guns being legal for civilian use in every single state, city, town, and county.”

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MAY 11, 2017

How do you protect your personal life?

“I simply keep some people off of my social media networks, when I don’t want them to intersect with other areas of my life.”

Do you think drug users need help or jail time?

“Rehabilitation is the key – the earlier, the better!  Preferably long-term.”

Has anyone ever made you feel really special?

“Yes.  #TheTalk – every time you retweet one of my musings!”

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MAY 15, 2017

What nugget of wisdom would you like to pass along to the Class of 2017?

“I’d tell them to read Kirsten Gillibrand’s book, ‘Off the Sidelines’ – and to embrace some form of proactive civic engagement.”

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MAY 16, 2017

Do you consume a lot of caffeine?

“I’ve never been a heavy coffee or tea drinker...so not very much.”

What reality show is too hard for you to watch?

“Anything in the Real Housewives franchise...simply because I have no interest in their allegedly ‘real’ lives...”

How easy is it for you to lie?

“I generally don’t lie to people.  I only tell a lie if there are crucial or strategic stakes involved.”

What’s your reaction to Abby Lee Miller saying she’s going to approach her upcoming prison sentence like she’s starring as the lead in a film?

“Is she prepared to be the star of a horror flick?”

Do you find it easy to relate to other people?

“I can relate the best to people who have levels of empathy and life philosophies that are most similar to mine.”

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MAY 17, 2017

Is there any decision you made during your youth that you’ll never be able to live down?

“Winning my school’s geography bee in the 5th Grade.  It gave everyone an[other] excuse to harp on what a nerd I was.”

Zac Efron has announced he’ll be portraying Ted Bundy in a new movie set to begin filming later this year.  Do you think former Disney kids need to do something drastic to shed their squeaky clean image?

“Zac is just challenging himself in terms of his range as an actor.  No one should be compelled to remain typecast.”

A Texas man is suing his blind date for $17.31 for texting throughout their movie date.  Have you ever had a bad date that you wanted to sue over?

“This is why every couple should always ‘go Dutch’ until their relationship is official – *ESPECIALLY* if it’s a blind date.”

Alan Thicke’s widow is trying to invalidate their prenup and sue for a larger portion of their estates with threats of going to the tabloids.  Do you think there’s always family drama after someone dies?

“Tanya Callau’s alleged behavior illustrates the need for ‘living wills’ and ‘family planning’ when it comes to estates.”

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MAY 18, 2017

Tom Brady had a concussion last year even though he didn’t report it.  Has a family member of yours ever let something slip?

“Yes...health circumstances that they were trying to conceal from me.”

A fight broke out over saved seats at an Arlington High School graduation ceremony in Memphis, Tennessee.  Have you ever had a fight over a saved seat?

“One or two saved seats is fine.  A whole row of ‘saved seats’ is ridiculous.”

Taylor Swift went to great lengths to keep her romance with Joe Alwyn a secret.  Are you surprised this was kept under wraps for so long?

“If she’s a private person, I can understand why she wanted to keep it under wraps.”

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MAY 22, 2017

What was your reaction to Cher’s acceptance of her icon award at this year’s Billboard Music Awards?

“I hope Cher continues speaking out about humanitarian causes.”

What would you do if you found yourself in a situation like Michelle Jennings did where Lyft customer Stephanie Young spit on her?

“Depending on who the spitter was, I might actually spit back!”

What do you think of the little girl who was dragged into a Canadian harbor by a sea lion?

“Those animal preserves should probably begin building guard rails as an extra precaution against unpredictable wildlife.”

What are your thoughts on George and Amal Clooney being reluctant to suggest names for their unborn twins in public due to fear of criticism?

“George and Amal should choose names that are meaningful to them, which they believe their children will appreciate.”

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MAY 24, 2017

In the wake of the Manchester terror attack, should artists cancel their shows?

“No, there are other ways for artists to show their support and solidarity without canceling their own concerts.”

Do you think Kim Kardashian’s and Madonna’s posts in support of Ariana Grande were acceptable or narcissistic?

“Madonna is the same one who made the comment about ‘blowing up the White House’...I take her opinions with a grain of salt.”

Should Brian Kornbluth still be allowed to teach after his ‘candy-for-kisses’ crime?

“I do wonder if we all would be reacting as harshly if it had been a *female* teacher trading ‘candy-for-kisses’...”

Do you give money to panhandlers?

“Nope.  I have no way of knowing what their identities are...or what they might do.”

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MAY 25, 2017

Do you think Zac Efron hooked up with Madonna based on his Jimmy Kimmel interview?

“It sounds like he was trying to utilize a clever double entendre, not speaking literally.”

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JUNE 5, 2017

What’s your reaction to Phylicia Rashad and Keshia Knight-Pulliam supporting Bill Cosby during his current trial?

“They are delusional.”

Tiger Woods has been booked for a DUI after having four different types of painkillers in his system.  Are you more forgiving when someone drinks under the influence of alcohol?

“They still need to be punished, and they should also be screened to make sure it isn’t an addiction.”

Do you expect people who have a lot, in terms of wealth, to give a lot to others?

“Wealthy people should have the discretion to give (or not give) to whichever causes and endeavors they personally support.”

What’s your reaction to the mega-success of the new Wonder Woman movie?

“I hope it means more female superheroines, and increased multidimensional roles for female leads in films and TV.”

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JUNE 6, 2017

Do you think your social media account should affect other aspects of your life?

“If you type controversial things in public forums online, you need to expect to be held accountable for what you say.”

Do you think people are born with talent or have to develop it?

“It’s a combination of both.  Talent can be inborn or cultivated over time.”

Have you ever gone ahead and done something you knew you’d be judged for?

“I always speak my mind, knowing full well that I have a lot of radical beliefs that not many people agree with.”

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JUNE 8, 2017

Do you believe the recent fall that Phil Collins was hospitalized for is related to his recent alcoholism revelation?

“There’s a difference between whether it was a random accident or some sort of chronic medical ailment.”

Should Michelle Carter be convicted of involuntary manslaughter for her role in the suicide of Conrad Roy III?

“If there’s evidence that she actively goaded him into it, she needs to be held legally liable.”

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JUNE 12, 2017

Do you think Bachelor in Paradise was right to shut down production in the wake of sexual misconduct allegations between two of the participants?

“No, they should have simply ejected all participants who were perpetrators of the alleged misconduct.”

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JUNE 13, 2017

Do you think Megyn Kelly’s interview with Alex Jones should air as planned, or be scrapped?

“Megyn Kelly doesn’t appear to have journalistic bias on this one, so I’d say the interview is fine.”

Do you think Bill Cosby helped his case or hurt his case by not taking the stand?

“It may not hurt him, but I doubt it will help him either.  The damage has already been done.”

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JUNE 14, 2017

In the event of a house fire, do you have a firm exit plan?

“Fire is one of my greatest phobias.  If I was in a house fire, I might panic and perish.”

When was the last time you got excited about something?

“I get excited any time a politician’s office responds to one of my civic activism letters.”

Did your parents do anything to document memories of you, as a kid?

“They kept baby books and school picture ‘trees’ for both me and my sister.”

Do you see marijuana replacing alcohol as the preferred vice for Millennials?

“Anything can be abused. With any so-called ‘vice,’ the key is moderation.”

Do you think you’re too old to go to the club?

“I don’t dance.  I’ve never even set foot inside of a nightclub.”

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JUNE 19, 2017

Does Bill Cosby’s mistrial restore Cosby’s legacy?

“Nope.  His legacy is tainted forever, unless he admits his wrongdoing.”

What do you think is the appropriate sentence for Michelle Carter?

“The maximum sentence, with no chance of parole until 2028.”

What reasons have you had for a breakup?

“Emotional abuse and geographic limitations.”

Are there any parts of your life where you’ve taken on two roles?

“When it comes to politics, I’m both an agitator and a conciliator.  And I'm pretty good at it, too!”

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JUNE 20, 2017

What’s your reaction to Kim Kardashian receiving backlash for a photo promoting her new beauty line that prompted accusations of imitating blackface?

“Kim wasn’t trying to parody or joke about racial oppression.  Calling it ‘cultural appropriation’ is a stretch...”

What is your reaction to the news that Carrie Fisher’s autopsy showed cocaine, heroin, and ecstasy in her system when she died?

“It just goes to show that, even with their celebrity privilege, public figures aren’t immune from the downfall of addiction.”

Is there anything you’ll be better at when you’re 70 years old?

“Probably networking and socializing – since I’m confident I’ll have advanced in prestige by then.”

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JUNE 26, 2017

Do you put your trust in amusement park rides?

“I generally prefer slower, more serene rides.  StoryBookLand Canals, anyone? #DisneyStrong”

Do you think the professor who ripped into Otto Warmbier should have been fired?

“I think students should boycott her course.  Katherine Dettwyler is one hateful individual...”

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JUNE 27, 2017

What do you think of people socially-shaming Kim Kardashian for photographing her son, Saint, in a forward-facing car seat?

“Maybe they should quit spending so much of their time viewing Kim’s social media feed, instead?”

A coroner misidentified a dead body by using facial recognition photography. What do you think?

“Wouldn’t responsible and accurate DNA-testing eliminate false identification when performing autopsies?”

Do you think it’s reasonable to ask a woman to have a bra be part of her work uniform?

“It should be a woman’s choice, period – as long as she isn’t showing nipples at work.”

Are you in touch with why you were created?

“I believe I was put on this planet to avert disasters and to help humanity advance forward.  So were many other people.”

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JUNE 28, 2017

Do you keep tabs on your exes?

“No, not really.  Too many painful memories.”

Has any part of you improved with age?

“My mind...including my ability to think on my feet, and to generate witty verbal comebacks.”

Which style of parenting do you think is most effective?

“A holistic combination of discipline, compassion, and evenhandedness is usually ideal.”

How nosy are you?

“I’m a chronic eavesdropper.  #SorryNotSorry”

When’s the last time a family member was upset with something you said?

“I think whenever I call them out on their inanity...they get upset that they don’t have a better defense of their own.”

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JUNE 29, 2017

Do you think Christine Braswell should have been charged with a misdemeanor assault for running down her alleged purse snatcher, Robert Raines, in the North Carolina parking lot of a Wal-Mart with her car?

“Only the thief should be charged.  It was self-defense.”

Have you ever replaced one vice with another?

“Yes, I’ve replaced sadness with anger.”

Following the entrapment of Denielle Backstrom in her Colorado  Springs garage by a wild bear, are you concerned that bears are getting more and more comfortable with human contact?

“I would have gotten the hell out of there and called animal control.”

After the fatal “prank-shooting” of Pedro Ruiz – while his pregnant girlfriend, Monalisa Perez, assisted – do you think people are too desperate for social media *LIKES* and followers?

“Anytime someone orchestrates a prank, they need to take reasonable safety precautions.  This woman clearly didn’t.”

Who was your first celebrity crush?

“Erik von Detten”

Do you think Adele is really saying goodbye to touring?

“She may just need a break or a longer hiatus.  She reserves the right to change her mind again, down the road.”

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JULY 10, 2017

Do you think Rob Kardashian should be charged under California revenge porn law?

“Yes, although there should be a difference between commercial-based reparations versus punitive awards for malicious intent.”

Should Green Day have been told when one of their acrobats fell to his death right before their live concert?

“Yes, it was their right to know.”

Would catching your mate cheating automatically ruin your relationship, or could you work through it?

“Maybe the relationship could be repaired...but it would depend on all the circumstances leading up to it.”

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JULY 11, 2017

Do you care how long prior to his relationship with Jennifer Garner that Ben Affleck had been seeing his current girlfriend?

“This just shows how ridiculous it is for the peanut gallery to be gossiping about celebrities’ love lives in the first place.”

Have you ever been bothered by loud sex?

“I’ve overheard roommates engaging in sex, but I felt amusement moreso than annoyance.”

What are your thoughts on the male worker who was asked to remove his makeup on the job?

“It’s only an appropriate workplace rule if applied to both sexes equally.”

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JULY 12, 2017

Have you ever tried to help someone who didn’t want your help?

“Yes...but if someone isn’t ready to confront making changes in their life, there’s no reasonable way to force them.”

How easily do you give up?

“If it’s something that ignites my anger or an intense passion in me, I’ll never give up.  Ever.”

What do you think of Kendall and Kylie Jenner using images without permission on their new T-shirt line?

“They still need to make restitution if they commercially profited from someone else’s unauthorized image.”

How do you think trash-talking affects an athlete’s performance?

“It can be a cathartic release of adrenaline...or it can inflate the athlete’s ego.  Depends on the individual competitor.”

Is there anything you’ve vowed you will never do?

“I will never use the TSA airport body scanners, because I’m claustrophobic.  Plus, it’s degrading.  #PatMeDownPlease”

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JULY 13, 2017

What do you think of Chip Gaines’s man-bun on Instagram?

“Shaming men for our hairstyles or hair length is just another variation of gender discrimination.  Enough with the gender roles!”

When did you become okay with yourself?

“When I realized that too many people won’t go along with positive change unless you force their hand.”

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See you all again in the fall, for more tweeting!