#you can glide right over to where sidon is. he jumps over and says YOU HAVE TO HELP ME *URGENTLY* THE WHOLE REALM WILL FLOOD

[caterjunes]

now, i KNOW people are sooo horny for prince sidon. and i *guess* i get it? but my standout interactions with him were

him repeatedly interrupting me as i'm sneaking & battling desperately upstream through the rain towards zora's domain, to remind me that he's there, watching, not helping me, being unceasingly chipper

him giving me inadequate instructions to prepare for the attack on vah ruta, leading to me having no idea what the deal with the giant ice cubes is or how to handle them, resulting in me immediately getting hit by said cubes. at which point he contemptuously shouted "GET A GRIP, LINK" at me.

[chemmerson]

experiment #46

i wrote this in honor of @annabethwithabook who gave me the idea. i hope this is everything you dreamed it would be.

read on ao3

———

Based on a True Story

“Zelda, are you sure this is going to work?” Link yelled up at her.

Zelda checked the breaks one last time where Link had showed her on the bike.

“Don’t worry Link! I believe I calculated everything correctly…” She trailed off, making sure her feet would be firmly planted on the foot pegs when she was riding. “Plus,” she started again. “I think this will be our best chance of finding out the Master Cycle’s true potential!”

While Zelda excitedly made sure all last preparations were in place, Link, feeling extremely unsure, stood on a wooden raft in the Hylia River.

A wooden raft that was connected by rope to the back of the Master Cycle, which Zelda was currently sitting atop of.

When Zelda first saw the Master Cycle after they had defeated Ganon, she was astounded. She actually took it apart to see how the engine system worked and thought about designing a guardian part mechanism to make the engine run faster, but she claimed that project could wait.

“This experiment is much more important”, she said. “It was number forty-six on my list, but now it’s bumped right up to number one!”

Zelda wanted to see just what the Master Cycle was capable of. What could it be used for? How efficiently can it run? Can we make it even more efficient? She had a million ideas she wanted to test, jotting all of them down in her journal, and this one, she decided, was the best. So, she made Link find one of the old, wooden rafts that floated around the various rivers and lakes of Hyrule, tear off its sail, and connect a rope from the wooden post to the back of the Master Cycle.

Link wanted to say something. He wanted to tell her that this experiment wouldn’t work, because he had tried it before with some of the stable hands one night after a few too many drinks.

But he didn’t have the heart to tell her. She was so excited. Zelda had calculated everything out and if it worked, this concept along with all of the other Divine Beast technology could advance Hyrule into a technological revolution.

So, he just kept his mouth shut. And thanked himself for taking off his shirt and shoes because he was definitely going to end up in the water at some point.

Zelda sat in the Master Cycle a little further ahead of him along the path of the Hylia River, skin glowing in the summer sun while in a tank top in shorts. Her short, glowing hair waving with the breeze made her look like sunshine. Link gulped and looked away, pretending the nervous feeling in his stomach was because he could possibly die from this experiment and not how beautiful Zelda looked.

“Alright, Link! I think we’re ready!” She turned around, smile bright with anticipation. “Are you okay?”

Link gave a thumbs up and an unconvincing smile.

Zelda turned around with a huff. “He should know by now I can see through those constipated smiles of his. Oh well, might as well get this started…” she muttered to herself.

Zelda revved the engine, the loud noise making her jump but fueling her excitement tenfold. She giggled and did a little dance as she could barely contain herself, and then turned around once more to see the signal from Link.

Link could practically see Zelda vibrating with excitement as she looked back at him on the Master Cycle, and he gripped the makeshift handle tied to the wooden post in the middle just a little tighter.

“Ready!” He shouted.

He was not ready.

“Alright!” Zelda squealed. “Here we go—“

The Master Cycle jerked forward as Zelda did not ease into pressing on the gas like Link told her too. The rope pulled taut and the Master Cycle didn’t go anywhere for a moment. The wheels spun around in the dirt, dust flying everywhere.

And then, Link was moving.

Zelda was moving.

Zelda was pulling Link.

It was actually working. Zelda rode along the path next to the river, pulling the raft that Link was standing on. It was slow moving, but it was working nonetheless.

A smile quirked onto Link’s face.

“Wooooooohooooo!!” Zelda cheered, pumping a fist in the air.

It was one cheer too soon.

It happened all too quickly. One moment, Link was gliding across the water on the raft, Zelda safely on the side of the river, and the next moment, Zelda was off the Master Cycle, falling into the river.

Link dove into the river immediately, panic burning in his chest.

He was so, so thankful for the water safety mechanism that the Master Cycle had. He knew that once it hit the water, it would dissipate into the air and Zelda wouldn’t be crushed.

At least he hoped.

Link swam as fast as he could, keeping an eye on Zelda and hoping she wasn’t hurt. He saw her head bob out of the water and her arms flapping to help her stay afloat.

“Zel! Zel, hold on!” Link swam faster, hoping to god she wasn’t drowning.

Zelda’s head popped out of the water once more and stayed up this time. Link grabbed her shoulders to help her steady.

She was having quite a coughing fit before the coughs turned into pure laughter. Link was too busy checking her for injuries and keeping her afloat to notice.

“It actually worked!” She beamed. “I knew it would. I believe what went wrong was the shape of the raft, maybe if we could—“

Zelda paused at Link who was scanning his eyes all over her, brows furrowed with a displaced look of worry she didn’t often see from him.

“Link.”

He ignored her, gliding his hands all over her shoulder and arm. She frowned.

“Link.”

He ignored her again. Zelda huffed in frustration, grabbing his face in her hands.

“Link, you big dummy, listen to me!”

Link froze, big blue eyes snapping to up to her face.

“Are you even listening to me? Link, it worked.”

This time, Link frowned. “Yeah, barely. Zel, you almost died.”

Zelda’s mouth gaped open. “I did not almost die. Link I’m fine—“

“Your arm.”

Zelda looked down at her right arm where Link’s fingers were gently brushing against it, examining where her arm had gotten skinned against the ground when she fell. His deep blue eyes were alert with worry.

Zelda moved her hands down from his face and onto his shoulders. “Link, I’m fine. I can’t even feel it. Don’t you see what this means? If we can perfect this mechanism—“

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Link stared at her, the water reflecting light against his tanned, sun kissed skin. The look of worry didn’t falter, he just waited for her to give her a reassuring answer.

Zelda then realized their proximity. Link held her up with his arms, treading water to keep them both afloat. Zelda was holding on to his shoulders, her chest inches away from his bare one. She could see his face so clearly, the water dripping down from his hair and onto his cheeks. The water made his blue eyes sparkle.

Zelda swallowed.

“I-I’m fine, Link.”

Link’s faced stayed twisted with that worry for a moment before relaxing back to what Zelda was used to. She felt herself relax too, and brought the smile back to her face.

“We need to make several adjustments, but I think this could be the start of something.”

“First,” Link said. “Let’s get out of this water and dry off. Then, what adjustments need to be made exactly?”

Zelda grinned. “We need a different raft. And more people.”

———

“Uh, a-and what do I do again?”

Link watched Yunobo’s hands shake as he sprawled out on the new and improved aerodynamic raft attached to the new and improved Master Cycle—Master Watercraft as Zelda called it. Which wouldn’t have been possible without the help of their friends.

They enlisted the help of Sidon, who demonstrated just what makes Zoras swim so efficiently, and Zelda decided they needed a new raft that was smaller, lighter, and more aerodynamic, mirroring the way Zora’s glided across the water on their stomachs. Then, to fix the problem of the Master Cycle tipping over into the water, Zelda completely deconstructed the Master Cycle and reconstructed it with a more powerful, guardian powered engine along with floating devices to keep it above the water. She added floating devices to the raft too, for extra measure.

They needed people of different body statures to test it out, which was why Yunobo was now shaking like a leaf as he laid stomach down on the raft, holding onto the front for dear life. Link smirked.

He has no idea what he’s gotten himself into.

“All you have to do is hold on!” Zelda yelled from the side of the river, standing next to Sidon and Riju. Sidon was present as a research partner and consultant, while Riju had come for “the entertainment”.

“You’ll be fine, my dear Yunobo!” Sidon’s encouraging words rang out. “I guarantee it!”

“You definitely won’t die,” Riju yelled.

If Link looked back at Yunobo’s face again, he wasn’t sure he would be able to make the poor guy go through with it.

“This is extremely safe, Yunobo!” Zelda yelled again. “I’ve calculated all of it! And Link will go slow!”

Link smirked again. No promises, he thought to himself.

“Okay, Yunobo, are you ready?” Zelda threw a thumbs to Yunobo.

“I-I-I guess,” Yunobo stammered.

Link caught Zelda’s fiery green eyes. They were eyes that said don’t go too fast and please definitely don’t do anything stupid.

Link just smiled and revved the engine.

“Three, two, one!” Link yelled. And then he floored it.

The rope pulled taut under Yunobo’s weight, but once the engine adjusted, Link was flying across the water, the engine roaring in his ears. It almost drowned out Yunobo’s screams of terror as they made their way down the Hylia river. Link was having a blast.

It was going so well that Link went under every bridge that stretched across the river and all the way around Lake Hylia. He didn’t bother to look back at Yunobo, whose screams were letting him and all of Hyrule know he was still alive.

Once Link made his way around Lake Hylia, he went all the way back down the river to where they had started. He could see Zelda from a distance, jumping up and down with her hands in the air. Link slowed down once he made his way back to the starting point.

“It’s amazing!” Zelda yelled, beaming from ear to ear. “Goddesses it actually worked!”

Link came to a stop in front of them, feeling joyous as well from all the adrenaline and excitement. How could he have ever doubted Zelda’s genius in the first place? This right here, he thought, this has potential.

“Yunobo!” Sidon shouted. “Are you alright?”

Link turned around to find Yunobo still clutching to the raft like it was his life line. His face might have been a little pale, but then he spoke up.

“T-That was actually fun!”

They all laughed, Zelda shouting in victory again. Link watched her face light up with her smile and thanked the goddesses his wish came true.

“Alright,” Riju spoke up. “I’m definitely going next.”

They used the Master Watercraft all night, taking turns riding and driving and racing Sidon well after the sun had finally set.

Experiment #46, check.

[nicorulz901]

My thoughts on: the first 12 hours of Breath of the Wild (minor spoilers)

So, last month, I was on my Easter break from Uni, and I got Breath of the Wild instead of doing a report and leaving it to the last minute, woo!

Now, since I only got it on WiiU, and since the WiiU I have is waaaaaaaay back in the US (I go to Uni in England, live in the US) I didn’t get to play it to it’s full potential. But I got a good taste through 12 hours, and I’m excited to play more over the summer! Because seriously it’s like a drug and I think I’m actually going through withdrawal

Holy shit, when people claimed this version of Hyrule was the biggest yet, they weren’t kidding. And when it’s claimed to be bigger than the map in Skyrim. And in case you’ve forgotten, Skyrim has TWO huge maps thanks to DLC. So for Hyrule to be bigger than that is impressive. What’s also impressive is how well the WiiU managed to actually run the thing. I was expecting frame rate dips or stutters, but I didn’t really see any. Maybe I was also too mesmerised by the world in general. 

I love being able to go anywhere and climb anything. I think the game should have come with the caveat of “if you go anywhere you’ll promptly get stomped if you’re not prepared enough”. The higher difficulty compared to previous Zelda games, combined with the paltry amount of stamina and hearts you get at the beginning of the game certainly contributed to several early deaths in my experience. Still, I can’t fault BotW for having such an expansive, open world, and it’s amazing to plan a course somewhere but get delightfully sidetracked by everything in that world.

What I can fault BotW is its weapon degradation system. HANG ON, WAIT DON’T LEAVE! I know some fans will kill me if I fault this game, but the weapon system really does bring a variety to Zelda. And I love it. Swinging a claymore or a boomerang or a hammer or an axe or even a skeleton arm at an enemy is awesome, and I love seeing the huge variety of weapons. I love how you can parry enemies or leap out of the way to unleash a flurry of blows. However, I wish the weapon degradation had taken more influence from Dark Souls (as it was a source of inspiration for Nintendo). In Dark Souls 1, and 2 and 3, there are workarounds to your weapons degrading. Especially in the first game, where you can repair items you use with in game currency, and you can get an item that allows you to do this at any bonfire (resting place). I think that an inclusion of this in BotW would have only enhanced the game. Especially when I find a sweet royal claymore or get a treasured, sacred trident as a gift from the Zora princess that I’m scared to use because I don’t know if it will be able to be recovered if it breaks. As a result, my weapon inventory is full of useful weapons that I don’t want to use because I’d have to pick up ANOTHER bokoblin club after it breaks. Still, the weapon system is awesome, and I enjoy it. 

I also greatly enjoy how varied the world is and what it allows you to do. Shield surfing is not only a handy way to get around but also incredibly fun. Shield surfing off a cliff, gliding to an enemy base, and dropping a bomb over their heads is gratifying, and that’s one of several hundred little details that the game allows for. Look up anything about BotW and it will be something about cool little tricks you can do. 

Time for more little nitpicks:

I turned the motion controls off. I don’t think they add to the experience, and I can aim just fine with the right analog stick (though the game cleverly avoided this by having puzzles to be solved using the motion controls).

I really, really wish Link would target the head of an enemy when holding down ZL. Aiming at an enemy and then aiming again with the stick is unintuitive and if I had a rupee for every time I missed through that method I’d have enough to purchase everything from every shop vendor ever (not literally). 

I love how the world is so huge and the characters that you talk to are all quite charming. I like the Sheikah scientist lady, there’s a delightful musical birb with an accordion, and there’s a giant shark man who all I can think is “TAKE ME NOW YOU SEXY GIANT MAN”

*Ahem*

*spoiler warning*

One of the quests that I’m iffy about is the actual regaining memories of Link. I like the idea of it, but I feel it should be implemented as a linear story more, rather than finding areas featured in photographs, taking more photographs of those areas, and then going to those areas. That seems weird to me, especially since this map is huge and there are only tiny details to tell you where places are. For example, finding Hyrule Castle may be easy enough (I say easy, but Guardians are terrifying and wreck my shit), but finding one of I think three forest-like areas seems like a waste of time. (Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong).

Prince Sidon is... *fans self* he’s the big sexy shark man with big arms... *fans faster* and slick red skin... *visibly sweats* and he’s so confident and believes in me...

*AHEM*

All that said, holy shit I love this game. I need more of it, and it’s already gunna be one of my top games of the year. Yes, part of that is because I’m a well documented Zelda fan, but I can enjoy what I like. And the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is damn good. At the end of the day, my gripes are that of an insignificant gnat jumping up and down impotently on a golden glowing Lion that’s rocketing off into space. In other words, the game is so good I would buy it again and spend the additional money for a Nintendo Switch, just to keep playing it. As soon as I have more money, I will do that, and I may never get on this blog again because I’ll be playing Zelda.