#you can definitely tell what they're feeling in each panel even without words

[mamaflaire]

O W

A sketchy WIP from last night

[mydarlingbat]

Batman Europa #3 lemme just inform everyone that i did not feel like making this one, and It's only because I have to do two parts to Batman Europa #3. there's so many wonderful moments in this issue. It'd be illegal for me not to show all of them. Alright let's talk about the first cutout panel from Batman Europa'#3 I would like to elaborate on Batman's patience here. I've already said this before, however Batman has so much patience with the Joker. He literally just sighs and ask the Joker can he stop his babbling. Batman here is obviously just trying to start a fight. He's once again grabbing the Joker recklessly. Batman you can just ask him you know? Plus he already mention he told you, so this just let's me know you want to argue a little, or even chat a little, but I do think he's also making sure the Joker isn't setting him up. The Joker telling Batman is hypocritical question is so funny to me, and Batman responds with 'heh that's funny' I swear theses two are so married. Batman doesn't tell the Joker to shut up until he talks about them murdering each other. I wonder why? What I really wanted to point out that the Joker listens to the Batman and be quiet for a whole hour? I'm in awe to be honest. The fact that Batman is complimenting the Joker again, and chucking too. It gives me life. Batman is so free around him.

Batman's over here thinking. 'What heart?' Nah, I'm just joking around. I have no doubt that he's just flabbergasted by the Joker right now. He is finding out something new about him, and he's just surprise by it, but I love how his mouth slightly hangs open in befuddle way, like is this really happening too.

I can't entirely believe that Batman just stands by, watching the Joker. He so fascinated with this man!!! Batman also refers to the Joker as his closet enemy. What he really meant is his closest friend. It's in disguise. I'm telling you. I mean but why did he choose those words though? He could've have said my greatest enemy. Bruce please stop playing with us here.

Like Bruce are you saying that the Joker has charm? I actually love this page, because Batman's aware of the Joker's charm. The Joker doesn't need to look amazing in appearance. What makes up for his appearance is his charm itself. It's why Batman can be so intrigue by the Joker, and find him attractive. Batman also wanted to know how it feels to be the Joker, and again Batman's kind of complimenting the Joker here.

I just can't with Batman always trying to start a fight here. The Joker refuses to fight with the Batman while they're working together, but Batman continue to try to go back with the usually routine. Let's fight a little. Batman looks like he misses it more than the Joker here to be honest, but here's a theory. I believe Batman desires the touches from the Joker. He's not fighting with him, which involves a lot of touching. This is Batman way of getting that from the Joker, without making it obvious, and the reason I believe this is because after the Joker's touches Batman arm to call him down He relaxes and doesn't seem the littlest mad to be honest. Batman also grabs the Joker constantly, and even chokes him throughout the comic run. The Joker on the other hand isn't trying to fight with Batman, because he feels free touching Batman whatever way he pleases. Batman's the one who has to stop him. I mean Batman can clearly see no one's laughing. The Joker isn't laughing neither. Batman just find a reason to grab the Joker. He waits for the Joker to say anything about him to attack, that's the only way to touch him without him feeling wrong about it. Now this is just a theory. It definitely might not be true, or maybe it's something I deeply want. Lmao

And the way Batman willingly let's the Joker push him away says a whole lot, and not Bruce raising his hand to ask a question. Oh my god! I'm dying. The Joker just over here like 'bats shut up' and Batman is raising his hand like can I ask something. I can't even think of another villain Batman has done this with? It's so funny to me. I just love, love how the Joker speaks to Batman like he's a child, and Bruce takes it. It's just my opinion.

[panelshowsource]

now that s17 is over, how did you like it? it feels like most people either thought it was mild or weak, which makes me sad, so i stopped going to the discussion threads about it :""( i also don't see much anticipation for s18...

aww anon well, first, if you had a good time then that's what matters! so i hope series 17 brought you a little joy each week, that's what panel shows are for in my humble opinion 😚

because i know i'm about to word vomit some word salad, i'll throw out some s17 reactions + s18 thoughts below the cut! that way anyone who is sick of my nonsense doesn't have to scroll past it lmaooo

series 17 was a decent one! i don't think it's in the hall of fame, but it's definitely nowhere near the couple of "unwatchables" as they're (pretty unfairly) called. i've talked before about one of the downfalls of a season is when a group doesn't harness their dynamic and take control of the show — when they're in the studio and just sit quietly, waiting for greg to give them permission to speak, things flow well for the editors but the experience lacks. this is why s1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, even 12 are so silly and chaotic: the contestants were constantly fighting, interrupting or pausing judging, trying to convince or gaslight or challenge greg, just...speaking! talking! interacting! if that doesn't happen, taskmaster can just feel like show and tell, which is not when it's at its best

ultimately, this is why too many polite and well-behaved people in a single series is a pleasant watch but doesn't hit very hard. this series was exceptionally nice, we have to admit. joanne followed by steve may have been the "hang on a second ☝️" contestants of the series, but not by a lot, meanwhile nick and sophie were the loveliest, pretty quiet people and john was dead silent most of the time. actually, that was something that ended up surprising me — john was so focused on the tasks, so focused on winning, most of the time he didn't pause to give significant, funny commentary while filming, didn't give us *nearly* the banter with alex i anticipated, and was particularly quiet in the studio. i knew he'd be in it to win it, don't get me wrong, but he approached taskmaster more as a richard herring than an ed gamble, if you know what i mean. it was very funny to me when he was on the tm podcast and was more or less like "i know i didn't prioritise being entertaining" lmao that earnestness can be sweet, because i do like to watch the show imagining how i would do each task, but his ~no nonsense~ approach was turned up to 11 for a lot more of the series than i anticipated. i almost wish john had leaned a little more into his self-aware neuroticism and competitiveness just because that's generally a good character on taskmaster — and this series was definitely missing that

(you know, talking about this really reinforces my belief that kerry godliman is perhaps the most perfect taskmaster contestant...ever. competitive, no nonsense and full of nonsense, top bantz, stands up for herself and tears down others but fights without being genuinely angry or butthurt, doesn't know enough to try and figure out a workaround for every single task, loves and bullies alex in equal measure... just love the woman. love her. fuck it, same for jess knappett. i miss my girls😭 this is ALSO why i think rosie is a great fit for tm)

anywayz i haven't read mucho mucho discourse about series 17, but it wouldn't surprise me if that's the vague "criticism" people: just more lowkey vibes than other series. but some people prefer that, so..!!!

i think, too, too many people look back at series 1–...7? at least and want to see the same greg–alex dynamic, approach to the prize tasks, approach to scoring, lil tricks, what have you — and that is not gonna happen again. ever. for example, greg and alex have talked too many times about how hard they try to score things "fairly" because that's become such a big point of conversation for the viewers at home and, atp, even the contestants. personally, i don't prefer that. fuck fair! this is not a real competition it's an entertainment show!! when greg was throwing out points willy nilly, bonus points for eating hair, giving 5 points to a prize just bc it's his personal sense of humour and ranking another contestant's prize low every week just bc that's a funny recurring joke/dynamic, whatever. i do not care. give phil wang 1 point every time. points schmoints. but that cannot happen anymore because the viewers starting taking the points so darn seriously. (not to mention the opportunity to do coc is now pretty coveted for its $$$ and exposure, too, i'd imagine.) the same goes for greg leaning into his dictator role, the master/slave relationship between him and alex, alex being super stoic and quiet — not only does tm think those characters and dynamics are played out, but in some ways the audience has evolved beyond all that

my point is that people get caught up in the Old Gen Taskmaster that hooked them and can't accept the ways in which the show has evolved — even if it's in their opinion for worse. do i think it would kill taskmaster to go back to slightly less convoluted tasks and commit to the 1–5 point system instead of constant ties (or "this was a 3-point effort")? no. i would like to see that lmao but i don't view the series through the lens of a series 1 fan anymore, either. a reality check would help a lot of complainers

i did read one thing i thought was interesting — that with the huge number of series we're at with tm uk, and now the accessibility of other countries' spin-offs, there is a bigger and bigger pool of God Tier Taskmaster to compare each new series to. it used to be "hmm does this new series stack up against series 4, one of the all-time greats?" but now we're stacking new series up against the top ~6 of tm uk, tm nz s2, a couple of the tm belgiums, tm aus s1, and so on. competition is stiff!! not many series can be The Very Best Of All Time, so with each new tm uk that isn't, people start to feel like the show has gone downhill when it probably is stagnant at worst. does that make sense?

i don't wanna sound like every criticism of tm can be explained away or comes from a bad place. as i've mentioned above, i have my qualms. this series, one of my major qualms and seriously unpopular opinions was that i didn't like that steve wasn't actually bringing in prizes half the time. like, he was doing bits and they were funny bits, but greg was scoring him mad high for the effort he put into his bits instead of the actual prizes he brought in for entry. i stand by that opinion, but the thing is i didn't let that ruin my experience of the show. but, maybe, it just comes down to the fact i want to like it...so i do ^^

maybe i talked way too much about criticism and negativity hahah some things i really enjoyed from this series:

nick is probably the second person following john kearns who i actively disliked before taskmaster specifically because i had only ever seen their comedy characters doing dictionary corner or a bit of standup — and i really didn't like them. (still never seen ted lasso!) lo and behold, they go on taskmaster and are S Tier Sweethearts and i see them both in totally new lights! in fact john's last standup show is being released shortly and i cannot wait to watch it — which me of the past would never believe i'm saying lmao so i'm so grateful the show opened my eyes to what a funny, sweet person nick is!! and may i say his and john's styles in the studio are massively underrated. they are both incredibly snazzy dressers!

steve and nick were a sweet little team weren't they! i think it would have been funnier to have john x sophie (the best and the worst, in their own ways) vs. the more harmonious steve x nick x sophie, but regardless it was very cute stuff

the location was great! i fucking love a big open field, i fucking love a river

greg has had some really strong intro "speeches" the last few series and i loved his this time around. they're just equal parts stupid and weird + his authoritative, classic greg delivery always makes me laugh heh

some of the strongest live tasks in a while!! catching the little monsters, passing the loo through the tube, bouncing the ball on the bar — all felt like quintessential uncomplicated classic taskmaster parlour games and they were good fun

TONS out outtakes content!

and gosh it's wonderful to have a new little hour of pleasantness to have each week :)

regarding s18... it's an interesting lineup! in a good way!! i think rosie's character is more or less a perfect fit for the taskmaster format. obviously she is one of the biggest female comedians in the uk right now, but i didn't bet on her doing tm because i didn't think the show could commit to accommodating her disability for 10 episodes. and, frankly, they may not — and i guarantee she is completely okay with that. she was born from the rhod gilbert school of showing up to fuck around, and i sleep soundly knowing she will do just that. i really like jack dee and i'm happy for alex to have made it work with him. it typically wouldn't be my choice to have two senior comedian white men on one series, and (unpopularly?) i'm not really a zaltzman person, but i have no doubt he'll be quite charming. emma sidi is part of the alex horne bubble of friends i have mentioned a few times before, but i actually don't know much about her. babatunde feels like a sensible fresh pick since he's been doing more variety/panel shows; i don't watch him on googlebox (which i love) because i don't like mo gilligan (very unsorry about this opinion heh), but what i've seen of him i've enjoyed! i don't think the group's dynamic is obvious just from their list of names, but the fact they're all comedians is VERY promising and makes me supersupersuper happy — all comedian lineups are historically the strongest. so yay!! but can you imagine who will be on a team?? god imagine a jack x rosie team lmfaoooooooooooo i live for the thought

hope that made sense and if it didn't whoops! don't mind me heheh

[fourswords]

starting sketching out light and like. HES 12??? like I get it- he's about to be 13- And knight is the oldest at a grand total of 15 but like-

BRO DOESNT EVEN HAVE AN ATTENTION SPAN YET???

like I know they're dumb in the manga but 😭 every 12-13 year old I've ever met is like a certified dumpster fire, which you might wanna consider in his character lmso

but I just feel like after the manga it wouldn't even matter that he saved Hyrule, he's just getting grounded until he's a legal adult 😭

like azure THATS A BABY- Aint no way he's smart enough to have even survived half the manga even with his dumb luck!

im crying please add like one year to all their ages im on my hands and knees is your goal to give this tiny child some form of PTSD because he is IN CONSTANT DANGER.children need to have a sense of safety (and their stupidity doesn't count, blue got swallowed alive and frozen, vio was lying to SAVE HIS LIFE, green was straight up about to kill vio and had to deal with attacking another knight, and couldn't bring himself to attack their own dad, and then red got chased by an angry mob and then lost all will to LIVE with blue in that one temple-) 12 is barely even conscious and self aware 😭

like I know 12 year olds have complex emotions and can handle abstract concepts and start getting into deeper moral understanding- but my human of earth the self awareness is either ONE THOUSAND OR ZERO AND THERE ISNT A BETWEEN AT THAT AGE-

im sorry if I sound rude or something btw I'm mostly just joking and I tend to overdramatize for comedic effect but I genuinely cant wrap my head around him being just 12- like at least 14??? maybe bump knight to 16 while ur at it? ?

also I'm gonna figure out some way to incorporate the different colors into his hat probably, its big so its like a bag lol since in the manga blue just shoved his whole hammer in there I'm pretty sure

smithy will be extremely small without complaint.

feel free not to take my words seriously tho lol I just cant imagine a 12 year old going thru the manga, like look me in the eyes and tell me a 12 year old-

if I misunderstood anything lmk lol I am a lil stupid sometimes

HAHAHA YES HE IS IN FACT TWELVE. The Legend of Zelda is a series that's all about "yeah let's hand this child a sword and let him go nuts" (to use a popular example, BOTW Link being canonically handed a sword at age four and is said in Mipha's diary to have been able to best grown men in fights: "At the request of Hyrule's king, a group of outsiders came to greet us at the domain. One of them was a Hylian child of only about four years of age. His name was Link. He made quite a first impression. He was curious and full of energy, with a ready smile. Are all Hylian children that way? One thing that surely sets him apart is his swordsmanship, which I hear is exceptional. He has even bested adults. He must be somewhat reckless, however, as he was covered in bruises.") and I absolutely intend to lean into that as much as possible. Light's age comes mainly from comparing Akira Himekawa's designs for Links of varying ages side-by-side with each other; for example, you have Minish Cap Link, who's very obviously drawn like a young child:

You have Twilight Princess Link and Ocarina of Time Link, both drawn to look like older teenagers (and we know OOT Link's older age is 16-17 depending on who you ask):

We have Skyward Sword Prequel Link, who is a fully-fledged adult (his other panels illustrate the difference more sharply, but this is what he looks like, so):

And then we have FSA Link in the manga, who is drawn to be VERY visibly younger than OOT, TP and SS Prequel Link, but is definitely visibly older than MC Link (he's got the rounder face + eyes, the shorter stature, and it becomes even more visible when compared to the knights in the FSA manga itself):

His maturity level also does, to me, match that of an average 12-year-old nepo baby (which he really kind of is)—kid who thinks he knows everything & that he's hot shit but is kind of a giant train wreck internally.

All three Four Sword heroes prior to him were explicitly stated to be "young boys", and FSA manga Link is really no different in that regard—in the context of my own AU, he's actually the one who went on his adventure at the oldest age (with Smithy going on his around 8-9, Four going on his at 10, and Knight now going on his at 11). It's just been a shorter time since his adventure than it has been for the others ^^;

[doukeshi-kun]

I infinitely hate what the anime did with Nikolai, Fyodor's stupid and ridiculous death and even the collaboration with Skk. I think the only thing I liked in the entire chapter was Fukuchi (sort of, I couldn't empathize with him), Teruko, and Fukuzawa. But the rest leaves too much to be desired. Moments like Aya saying goodbye to Bram felt so empty, others where we SHOULD have felt tension just felt flat. I love Skk, but the way they tell you that everything was an assumed plan???? DO YOU WANT TO MAKE ME BELIEVE THAT THE DEMON FYODOR ATE THE STORY OF A VAMPIRE COSTUME? This seems very insulting to the character. The only thing that keeps me calm are two things; The first is that the manga can still go in a different direction, that even if it didn't, Asagiri would do a 100 times better job than that shitty chapter. The second thing is that they tried too hard to show you that Fyodor is dead, it's even ridiculous at some point to think about it. I mean, they stabbed him maybe in a vital organ, he has poison in his system, they crashed his helicopter and then it exploded. THAT SOUNDS TOO RIDICULOUS. I don't know if it's because Fyodor is my second favorite character, but I feel like he was taking a quick and easy route to do that to her. They're definitely going to pull the typical "I didn't really die, this just happened..." card. On the other hand, the way he acted seemed very pathetic and anxious to me. I'll say it again, I don't know if I'm misunderstanding his character or what, but it all felt very out of place. Another point I loved and hated was Nikolai's reaction. I have the problem that Nikolai is my third favorite character, so I don't know if my love for him and Fyolai blinds me in trying to understand his character but I feel like his reaction could go that way, but maybe a more subtle way. . . . shape? I don't know, it felt a little ooc. Although I have to admit that he devastated me to see what the anime did to him. Another thing that bothered me was when he mentioned that they spoke very little, I feel like they let him relapse more, it's a kind of obsession, I felt like it was very superficial (? It's true that they never specified until now how long they knew each other. I don't know if I'm partially blinded by the fact that I like Fyolai, but I always had the feeling that they talked more than a few times. Surely Fyodor used his words to get Nikolai to join DoA. but I feel like he is able to understand Nikolai, What's on his mind, who he is. I have a feeling that being who they became was more than just talking a couple of times. And now I write this with all the fury in the world. I'm also starting to think that according to the Fukuchi's words, Fyodor was the one who made the plan, who had to send him to a high security prison in another part of the world so that he wouldn't interfere. ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME LIKE THIS AND A VAMPIRE COSTUME ENDED UP LIKE THIS STUPID? I don't know, Every moment of the chapter seems done without enthusiasm. I didn't feel it or it felt boring, too rushed. I hate what they did, especially as I already mentioned, to Fyodor and Nikolai, even to Dazai, although I really don't like him. And I guess it's just me, but I really wanted to know what happened to Sigma. They practically left it lying around and forgotten. It's obvious that Sigma isn't going to die anytime soon, but Fyodor isn't an idiot and probably stabbed him somewhere deadly. He surely he must be trying to process a lot of information too incomprehensible for any of us, I NEED SOMEONE TO DO SOMETHING. I don't really like what the anime did with Sigma, I don't know if it's because that character touches the most sensitive fibers of my heart, positioning himself as my first favorite. I feel like they could have done more with all the characters, and I don't even want to think about how they skipped important panels in the last two seasons like Nikolai's reaction to hearing Fyodor, the Tachihara panel, or how they gave a different take on scenes. like Akutagawa's smile.

And yes, it should be noted that I don't even speak English because anger plus my elementary school English must make everything read strange. I'm sorry.

I sincerely hope Asagiri fixes all of this. And this is an aside, but I feel like I didn't understand Fyodor and Nikolai as characters, I also feel like I didn't understand the strange friendship they had.

hi, first of all, don't worry about the english!

i do think the ending could've been done so much better. i kinda have the idea on what's going on with fyodor and nikolai's friendship but i am not sure if i understand them clearly since, well, the only character i'm in too deep is nikolai.

i hope all of these confusions will get answered in the manga tho. like, the strange note sigma got, what'd happen with sigma and nikolai after all of this. most importantly i actually hope chuuya is still infected with vampirism and not just any cosplay because i feel like his interactions with dazai while he's out of control with his own mind brings more depth and tension to their dynamic.

also, bones have been rushing things, sure, but this ending feels unjustified. regardless, i hope everyone can move on and cope because i am coping for something else entirely on jujutsu kaisen lmfoa 💀 let's wait for next chapter to see whether we'll go through a different path or not

[positivelybeastly]

Do you think Emma and Hank would have any potential as a couple? Emma doesn’t seem put off by Hank’s appearance(s), and she is sapiosexual

"Emma? Oh, good lord, no. Quite apart from anything else, I have to think that I'm - entirely too neurotic for a woman of her caliber. She's shown, repeatedly, and without exception, that she favours a partner with an iron will, unwavering commitment to a cause and to her, the ability to make hard decisions . . ."

He thinks about it for a moment.

"Oh, and brunettes. I believe she favours brunettes."

So, it's one of those pairings where I think about it, and I'm like, hmmmmmm? Because there's a certain double date quality to the way that Hank, Abigail, Scott and Emma interact, especially during Warren Ellis' Astonishing X-Men run.

Scott and Abigail are very much alike, they even call it out in dialogue. I can't find it at current, but I believe at one point, she says that if she wanted to talk to an emotionally closeted shut-in, she'd look in the mirror, when talking with Scott, and, well. Yeah.

And of course, Hank and Emma are extremely good friends at this point in time - while they aren't as alike as Scott and Abigail are, they're both incredibly emotionally sensitive (Emma just chooses when to APPLY said sensitivity very selectively), well read, intelligent and perverted individuals, who both adore teaching kids and being there for the next generation.

So they have a lot in common! Which is always a good foundation for a relationship, and yeah, Emma definitely does not have a problem with Hank's appearance.

Like. Holy shit, that is a LOT to digest, and not just because Logan is off being Super Meat Boy.

SIDENOTE: I fucking hate how Hank and Emma's friendship has been completely fucking rubbished recently. The last time they had even a kind word for each other was when Hank was comforting her over the loss of New Tian, and then the next time they're talking on panel, she's calling him a bastard because we just SKIPPED the part where she's like, hey, Henry, what the FUCK, this isn't you (like we did for EVERYONE on Krakoa, but what the fuck ever).

But in terms of a romantic pairing? I don't know. I feel like you'd have to be quite, quite uninterested in women not to find Emma Frost attractive, even if it on a purely aesthetic level (personality wise, she's definitely not for everyone), so I'm sure he does find her beautiful, but I don't know if she's ever registered as an option on Hank's radar. I feel like he treasures his friendship with her and wouldn't want to jeopardise it, as cliche as that is.

As for Emma . . . well. I could see her maybe having an interest, but I do genuinely think that the kind of neurotic that Hank is, is a very different kind of neurotic to how Scott is, and that would affect their chances of a long term relationship. Hank is so mired and crippled in self-doubt, in insecurity, in second-guessing himself, and I honestly do think Emma would just get bored of that at some point?

Maybe that's an uncharitable read, but speaking as someone who's in a relationship with someone with quite incredible anxiety and self-doubt, it doesn't go away just because you tell them things are okay a few times, and it can get legitimately tiring. You have to be willing to do it now, tomorrow, the week after, maybe forever, because the doubts just don't go away, and again, I just don't know if Emma has that patience in her.

[writingintheshadowsforever]

Imagine being the Avengers weapon expert and bonding with Kate

"These are pretty damage but I can fix them" You told her inspecting her trick arrows. After getting pleasantries out of the way Kate finally revealed the real reason. She had stopped by your lab so late, it was more of an excuse to see you. But she didn't need you to know that yet especially considering you wouldn't tell her. What else Yelena had said about her to you.

"Seriously that's awesome thank you. I would literally be dead without those arrows" Kate exclaimed running her hands through her hair.

"It's no problem I've been playing around with the idea of trick arrows for a while now."

"You can make more" she nearly shouted slamming her hands down on the table.

Her reaction caught you off guard making you jump, but still you chuckled at her excitement. "Of course I can what kind of weapons expert would I be if I couldn't make trick arrows."

Kate thought back to when she first met Clint and how adamant he was about keeping up with the ones. He already had because he said it was impossible to make more. Did he lie to her? "Don't you need some special type of arrowheads?"

"Yeah that's why its only been an idea up until now. I figured I'd wait until you came me since you're the only one who really uses arrows, and would truly appreciate them. Honestly I didn't think today would come considering how badass you are with regular arrows."

Kate was happy that you were focused on her broken arrows, and didn't see her blushing profusely at your compliment. "How do I'm so badass with regular arrows?" she asked curiously. After all you barely left the lab, and she had never seen you in the field.

"Yelena tells me stories all the time about her missions. She mentions you every now and then whenever you do something super cool. That it's too amazing to not brag about in her words." You told her removing the arrowhead as slow as possible.

A small smile formed on Kate's face as she made a mental note to get her friend a new vest as a thank you. She didn't even think Yelena knew what the term wing woman meant, but here she was being the best one anyone could ask for. The lab grew quiet as Kate watched you work in silence not wanting to distract you from your work. She watched as you tinkered with the arrowhead with some tools hoping that. Her brain would memorize your skills and hopefully in the future she would be able to fix her own arrows. Just in case she was on a mission and was in dire need of one.

"So while these arrows are quick fixes I wouldn't mind holding onto them for a little while longer. It would make designing new arrowheads easier, and I have some major upgrades for them." You spoke up leaning forward with a small pout on your face.

Oh you were definitely going to be the death of her. Kate found herself looking away trying to hide how flustered she was right now. "I don't mind but I do have a upcoming mission in a few days. I know you think I'm pretty good without trick arrows, but I don't want to go into a dangerous situation unprepared."

"I don't think you're pretty good I know you are. Don't sell yourself so short Kate I've seen you train before, and don't worry I got the perfect replacement." You gestured for her to follow you over to the weapon wall.

Kate had to run to keep up since her mind was still stuck on. you admitting to watching her train. Why hadn't she noticed you before? Did that mean you were harboring feelings for her too?

You pushed a button and a panel on the wall opened revealing a quiver filled with arrows. Kate eyes widened in awe as you brought them out for her.

"They're not your standard flashy trick arrows, but they're just as deadly just more subtle. These are toxic arrows each one is filled with a deadly toxin that has a different effect. There's enough poison in each one for three shots. The toxin automatically refills itself after the first injection. So they're perfectly reusable." You explained with a huge smile. "I started working on them a few weeks ago, and have been wanting to give them to you for a while."

Kate took one of the arrows out and carefully examined it. Not wanting to accidentally trigger any poison in the room. The arrows was black and sleek made out of some metal material. Definitely not the standard arrows she used but it was perfectly balanced, and at first glance it didn't look like anything special. But after studying it closely she did see the liquid inside of the arrowhead. She couldn't wait to try them out. Before she could stop herself Kate threw her arms around your neck pulling you into a hug. Somehow you managed to hold the quiver of arrows out the way, while wrapping a single arm around her waist.

"Thanks y/n this is literally the best thing anyone has ever done for me" she whispered into your ear.

"You're welcome Kate and I'm happy to be of service to my favorite Avenger. You replied burying your face into her shoulder. The two of you held onto each other for a few more seconds. Then Kate finally decided to pull away pausing when her eyes made contact with yours. Eventually you broke eye contact with a nervous smile "its getting pretty late. We should probably settle down for the night I got a lot to do tomorrow, and I know Yelena is early riser and is going to be expecting you to train with her in the morning."

"Yeah yeah you're totally right I should totally get some rest. She'll drag me out of bed if I try to skip out on training" Kate chuckled taking a few steps back.

"Don't forget your arrows Bishop" you said as she turned around to head for the exit.

Kate turned back around and reached out to gently take the arrows from you. Her fingers brushing up against yours for a quick second making her look at you again. In her mind you were staring at her lips waiting practically begging for her to make a move. But when she blinked you were just grinning at her bidding her one more goodnight. Before you walked away to get your lab in order, so you could lock up and head off to bed.

"Goodnight y/n I'll see you around" Kate called out as she reached the exit door.

"Night Kate I hope you mean it this time" you joked winking at her. Knowing that you would indeed see her again.

After all she had to come back for her arrows.

Tag list: @wandanatvoid @yelenabelovasgf @romanoffomixam @xxromanoffxx @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @mellowladyangel @shayzulia @musicinourlips @cyberbonesworld @natashasilverfox @jokertgkk @be-missed @catswag22 @lizlil @kacka84

[sasubaeuchithot]

I see people say that sasuke caring about naruto as much as naruto cares about him is a retcon because naruto's feelings seem one-sided, but i don't think that's true. Seems like people are also ignoring the fact that sasuke said he has to kill naruto to truly be alone. But anyway, if you read sasuke's confession from chapter 698, I think a lot of his behaviour from the start makes sense. He says that he would watch naruto when they were younger and that seeing him acting stupid for attention made him feel relief and think of his family. If you reread chapter 3 Naruto gets up in his face, kisses him and ties him up to transform into him. After all this Sasuke still defended Naruto to Sakura when she makes fun of orphans. And when he sees Naruto he doesnt retaliate or anything, he smirks at him lol (Did you know that sakura screams that naruto is annoying after he accidentally steals sasuke's kiss and then when sakura talks badly about naruto sasuke uses the same words on her). Sasuke talks about how he needs to avenge his clan and then a few moments later he's risking his career and feeding naruto, just because his stomach grumbled and he looks sad. And then obviously on his death bed all his thoughts were about moments involving naruto. He's also always making exceptions for naruto. When naruto says he has a plan, sasuke listens. Sometimes he'll even be the one to ask naruto what his plan is. There's also instances when kakashi and sakura are agreeing with each other and sasuke's the one thinking/saying that naruto's actually right. During the war he told sakura and kakashi that they were useless and to basically keep quiet when sakura asks questions... the next panels naruto is asking questions and he's answering like a normal person. Even before he found out that the two of them had to be the ones to seal kaguya he was protecting naruto. He tells naruto that he'll create an opening for him when naruto tells him about his ridiculous reverse harem jutsu, sasuke was actually enabling this lol. These aren't even all of their meaningful moments from sasuke's side, but on a surface level you can say their bond seems one-sided/weak because we barely have any interactions between them by themselves unless they're fighting or in a group. I think it was probably done on purpose because kishi's hand would slip and they'd do or say something extremely gay if they were alone without fighting and kishi's already on thin ice (like sasuke saying I know your heart and you mine, naruto thinking he's in heaven after waking up next to sasuke, etc etc etc etc)

lmaooooooo

yeah, i definitely see them both being equally invested in the bond. Sasuke just displays his love in quieter ways, while Naruto does it in extreme ones. complimentary opposites, as always. as a kid, Naruto did a lot of "tugging on his pigtails" childish pestering to win Sasuke's attention, unable to see that Sasuke was quietly already giving it to him

[kali-writes-meta]

Have Qrow and Ironwood Ever Liked Each Other?

And was Ironwood always so -- misguided? Let's look back and see.

RWBY 202

Ironwood: (cordially) Ozpin!

Ozpin stands at attention.

Ozpin: Hello, General.

Ironwood: Please, drop the formalities. (Both approach and shake hands as Glynda also approaches.) It's been too long. And Glynda! It has certainly been too long since we last met.

Glynda: Oh, James! (Gives a personable wave and then drops all pleasantries.) I'll be outside. (She walks away.)

Ironwood: Well, she hasn't changed a bit.

(Notice that both Glynda and Ozpin express subtle disapproval.)

RWBY 303

Ironwood: If you were one of my men, I would have you shot!

Qrow: If I was one of your men, I'd shoot myself.

**********

Ironwood: You've been out of contact for weeks! You can't just go dark like that in the field!

Qrow: I'm not one of your special operatives, Jimmy!

Winter: General.

Qrow: Whatever. You sent me to get intel on our enemy, and I'm telling you, our enemy is here.

Ironwood: (leans against Ozpin's desk) We know.

Qrow: Oh! Oh, you know! Well, thank goodness I'm out there risking my life to keep you all informed!

Ironwood: (exhales) Qrow-

Qrow: Communication's a two-way street, pal. You see this? (pulls out his Scroll and points to it) That's the SEND button.

*******

Qrow: Despite what the world thinks, we're not just teachers, or Generals, or Headmasters. The people in this room, The leaders of the other two academies, we're the ones that keep the world safe from the evils no one even knows about! (getting up in Ironwood's face) It's why we meet behind closed doors, why we work in the shadows. So you tell me, James, when you brought your army to Vale, did you think you were being discreet, or did you just not give a damn!?

Ironwood: Discreet wasn't working. I'm here because this is what was necessary.

Qrow: You're here because Ozpin wanted you here! He made you a part of this inner circle and opened your eyes to the real fight that's in front of us!

Ironwood: And I am grateful.

Qrow: Oh, well, you've got a real funny way of showing it.

Ironwood: The people of Vale needed someone to protect them; someone who would act. When they look to the sky and see my fleet, they feel safe, and our enemies will feel our strength.

Qrow: (starts laughing) You... You think they're scared of your little ships? I've been out there and I've seen the things she's made, and let me tell you - they are fear.

********

RWBY 305

Qrow: You know, he's making you look like a fool.

Ozpin: His heart is in the right place. He's just... misguided.

Qrow: Sometimes, I'm not even sure he has a heart. 

RWBY 311

Ironwood: This area's secure! We need to-

Suddenly, Qrow's expression changes into what appears to be anger. He transforms his sword into a scythe and charges toward Ironwood.

Ironwood: Qrow! This isn't my doing!

Qrow continues charging, despite Ironwood's words. The general flips his gun in his hand and gets into a battle stance, preparing for the perceived attack. However, Qrow leaps past Ironwood, who turns around just in time to see a large Griffon lunging at him. With one swing of Qrow's scythe, the Griffon is sliced in two. Upon landing, Qrow turns around to address Ironwood.

Qrow: (Scoffs) You idiot. I know you didn't do this.

RWBY 702

Ironwood: Qrow.

Qrow stops and turns around, and Ironwood descends the stairs and approaches him.

Ironwood: I meant it when I said it was good to see you again.

Qrow: (awkwardly) Uh, yeah, you too.

Ironwood steps forward and hugs Qrow, who looks confused at first but then hugs back with a smile and an eye roll.

(Note that this is the UNUSUAL behavior for Ironwood, not the normal.)

RWBY 704

Qrow: Big day for you, huh, kiddo?

He walks over and sits next to Ruby.

Ruby: It's… definitely a lot to take in.

Qrow: Which part? The finally getting to Atlas part, getting your license part, or the not quite disclosing everything to Ironwood part? Or… all of the above?

Ruby: (soft laugh) All of the above. I'm trying to do what I think is best, but I really can't tell if what's best is what's right, or if I'm no different from Oz.

Qrow: Ruby, Oz only trusted himself with the whole truth. You're trusting others, but you're making sure they prove themselves first.

RWBY 707

Ironwood: We have to stop Salem. Nothing matters more.

Oscar: Some things matter more, I think.

Ironwood stops walking.

Oscar: Keeping our humanity. It's what makes us different from her.

Ironwood resumes walking and stops in front of the elevator's control panel. He taps the screen.

Ironwood: Sometimes I worry that's her greatest advantage. Without humanity, does she still feel fear? Does she ever hesitate?

RWBY 713

Ironwood: You still think I'm afraid?

Oscar: We all are. It's what we do in our fear that reveals--

Ironwood: That's easy for you to say!

RWBY 801

Ironwood: I’m going to do everything I can to defend this kingdom.

Camilla: What in God’s name do you think you’re doing, James?!

Ironwood: No matter the cost.

This is not the story of a friendship. These are co-workers with no more than the minimal level of trust between them to do their jobs. Harriet describes them best.

Harriet: (raising an eyebrow) Friends?

Elm: (laughs) This isn't the schoolyard, kid.

Yang: But, I mean, when you go through so much with someone, it kind of changes things, doesn't it?

Harriet: We get along well enough, sure. I count on them to keep me alive. They do the same. But that's the job. We don't confuse the two.

It's worth remembering that Qrow is a spy. His life depends on his ability to accurately assess people, and both he and Glynda had reservations about Ironwood from the beginning.

This is also not the story of a nice guy who one day started acting strangely. It's the story of a man who has been making bad decisions since Day 1, whose bad decisions are catching up with him, and who is responding by doubling down on his bad decisions. That's a definite contrast with Qrow, who made bad decisions since Day 1, whose bad decisions caught up with him, and who responded by changing his ways. One of these men is moving forward, and the other is tearing his morality apart in his efforts to be seen as immovable.

[lxveille]

the trust fall posts are giving me a Serious Longing for an update on how they're doing, if you should ever get the inspiration. did they ever tell each other their names? how is seeking shelter different now that they're together? do they sit up late into the night talking about what their lives together could have been before this? what kind of house they'd want, a dog? what kind of dates? these questions keep me up at night

wait… this message made me unreasonably happy. like, the idea that someone would have questions??? about a thing i wrote ???? it made my day without heat feel a little (/lot) better. and i think between freezing and being given these qs is why i went ahead and uh… did a thing

wc: ~ 1200warnings: mentions of apocalyptic-y things; it’s a continuation of the trust fall world so if you wanted it to end where it already did, this isn’t for you

If you close your eyes and focus just on the streams of sunlight on your face, you can forget for a moment that the world is a wasteland. It would be easier still if you could drown out the sound of the yowling dogs pacing on the other side of the glass. At this point, you’re not sure if their madness is from a plague or from hunger and cruelty of what now remains. You keep your hand pressed against the line where the door fits against the paneled wall for good measure. 

There’s a rustle behind you, followed by Hoshi beckoning you with a matter of fact, “There’s a back door, Daydream. Let’s get outta here.” You look over your shoulder to him, hesitant to move from your position of reinforcement. “Let’s go home,” he reiterates. 

Something in the word home, or in the notion that home can still exist, is the nudge you need to move.

Both of you are quick about it all the same.

The backroom of the store is a mess of long-abandoned crates and knocked over shelving. It’s a maze on its own. But sure enough, on the other side of it is a heavy door leading out to a back alley. With no frantic animals waiting on the other side. 

Hoshi’s hand takes yours, as if you might not know the way. 

It’s been four and a half weeks – if you’ve been keeping track of days correctly – since the two of you arrived, exhausted, onto these city streets. Over that time, both of you have gotten to know the area you’ve been scavenging and living in well enough that his touch might just be affection rather than a precaution.

Home has two doors before anyone can even get to the stairs. The first one, with its blue paint almost entirely chipped off, leads into what had once been a small lobby of sorts with a wall of mailboxes. It’s only purpose now is to keep the table you push up against the front door once you’ve gotten back. The second door is metal, and used to need a passcode to be unlocked. It took a couple days of work, but Hoshi and you have found a plank of wood slid into brackets on either side of the frame to be effective enough at keeping it shut. 

Even so, it feels safer that the apartment you’ve claimed as your own is on the sixth floor. 

The way Hoshi sighs upon entering sounds like one of relief.

In another life, it’s a sigh he’d give upon coming home from work. The whole place would be warm, the walls decorated with things that pleased you both, the fridge and cabinets filled with fresh food from the store. Maybe even the same store you had just been inside. Once upon a time, that store was good for far more than just escaping snapping jaws and wild eyes. 

You walk across the creaking floor and let yourself collapse onto the mattress. Your gaze lingers on the ceiling for a moment before shifting to the window. In the distance, there’s smoke still wafting out of the sinkhole that had opened up some ways away. No amount of doors and makeshift locks would help in that scenario. 

“I need you to check this out,” Hoshi breaks you out of grim thoughts. You turn and sit up at the same time he takes a seat on the mattress beside you. The two of you fit into a familiar formation with your head upon his shoulder and his arm looped through yours. 

“What is it?” you ask as he starts to unfold a stiff, water-damaged paper. 

“I found it in that pharmacy a couple days ago.” His tone takes on one of an apology. You shift to give him a puzzled look. “I didn’t really know if it was worth keeping. Or mentioning. But I did,” he tries to explain, “And now I am.”

“But what is it?” you repeat yourself. 

“I guess I don’t really know. But there was a stack of them. Like someone wanted them to be found.” With that, he runs one hand over the wrinkled surface of the map. On one spot is a circle, and though the ink has bled some the text can still be made out: you are here. Further west someone has drawn an arrow and two stars. There’s a messy caption for this location as well: aliases welcome. 

“It could be bad.” Your instinct is certainly not to trust it. “A trap of some kind.” 

“I know,” Hoshi agrees. “But it might not be. Maybe it’s been long enough that people are… like… finding a way again.” You hum non-committedly to the idea. Hope hasn’t been entirely absent from your life as of late. But there are limitations all the same. “I could go check it out first, if you wanted.” 

That gets a stronger reaction from you. You straighten out of your comfortable position against him to give a serious look. “No way. We go together or not at all.” 

Hoshi gives the faintest of laughs. He knows it’s serious. And yet he can’t help such a reaction when your definitiveness serves as a reminder of emotion forged between the two of you. “It was only a suggestion,” he tells you. 

“Well, I didn’t like it.” 

He smiles this time. Whatever heaviness you’d felt before lifts, at least enough for you to simper back. “Okay. Together or not at all. I love you.” He says it all fluidly, as if each word is as casual as the next. It’s a kind of levity you’re not sure you’ll ever get used to. Not when it feels just as important every time Hoshi says he loves you. 

The first time he hadn’t even said it outloud. 

He’d woken you up after you’d fallen asleep waiting for a storm to pass inside a turned-over truck on the road. With the clouds dispersed, the abnormal neons of sunset had taken over the sky. It might have been something in the way the colors smeared together that evening that made Hoshi decide he couldn’t hold onto it any longer. 

“Hey, Daydream,” he said as a means of getting you to stop just before you stepped out of the box truck. “I want to give you something.” 

To this day, you don’t know where he found. It must have been one of the wrecked houses the two of you had sought shelter in between the cafe and here. Sometimes you wonder who this simple locket had once belonged to. Were they still alive out there somewhere? And what had that simple star engraved in the middle of the silver oval meant to them? 

You hadn’t known why Hoshi wanted to give it to you. You accepted it all the same, and he didn’t offer any explanation. He didn’t prompt you to do anything with it; though he’d grinned when you’d put it on. 

It took three days for you to think to open it. 

Nestled within the spot where one could keep a picture was a small piece of paper; a corner torn off from somewhere else. On it, in pencil gray, were the simple words: love, Soonyoung.

[senrinoa]

Soma x Erina in Chapter 279

I've been meaning to talk about this since I read the Japanese version, and I've found a few things that were slightly different from MS's translation. I'll be honest, I've never liked Mangastream, normally they get pretty close to what's going on in the manga but sometimes they can really bad that's why I decided to write this post.

First let me review the chapter a bit, this is a nice relaxing chapter. It's great to see the interaction between E10 members because I can see a glimpse of good old fun Shokugeki days. The author has always been great at comedy and character interaction and it's really refreshing to see Ryo and Takumi actually conversing with each other even if it's an angry glare down contest. Seeing more characters and less drawn out food battles is definitely a positive for me.

Maybe for some people it feels like a filler chapter, and by filler I mean not exciting plot-heavy stuff. Since Erina is taken hostage (I really wished Tsukuda didn't have to take the kidnapping route) and no one is reacting to her disappearance, it's safe to assume that the news didn't break through yet but I'm sure we will get back to that soon.

I might write something about Asahi someday but I won't discuss him in this post, I just want to make some things clear especially for my fellow SouEri shippers who might not aware that the author kinda hinted Soma's feeling in chapter 279.

Let's begin with this panel! 

We all know that Nikumi's been harboring secret crush to our MC for more than 200 chapters, it doesn't surprise me that she was the one who noticed Soma's behaviour which seemed a bit unusual that day. Because when we have a crush on someone we tend to always pay attention to them, right?

Nikumi: "You seem pretty cheesed today, Yukihira. Something happen?"

Not gonna lie, when I read that panel I had to google what does "cheesed" mean because it was the first time I heard the "cheesed" word. And the result was a bit surprising to me.

"Cheesed" is a Canadian slag, it's a cheesy way to say you are pissed.

I was confused, why did Nikumi get that impression? And why would Soma be upset? Based on the context, it doesn't seem to fit there. And when I read the Japanese version, I know that MS somehow messed the translation up again.

つーか幸平今日なんか浮かれてるよな" (Tsuka Kōhei kyō nanka uka re teru yo na)

N: "Yukihira? You sure seem happy today."

Viz version

Soma looks happy and carefree all the time, its his default emotion and I'm not gonna deny that. We rarely see him mad or sad or anything but troll or cocky. But that day was different, Nikumi felt an unusual excitement from him. She even asked "did something happen?" Hmm, I wonder what made Soma so happy, it's not like he just had a really incredible romantic moment with someone he likes the night before or something, right?

Then in the next page we saw a really unimportant guy who acts like the big shot only because his shop is doing well compared to E10's shop. I love how Soma encouraged the other members by reminding them about the past generations and got everyone back together. As Nikumi had pointed out Soma seems to be in a really good mood that day, he smiling brightly while saying that he can overcome any challenge with confidence.

Soma : "今までも散々乗り越えてきたからなっ" (Ima made mo sanzan norikoete kitakara na~tsu)

"I've overcome things like this before, as always."

And I've read something similiar from the previous chapter (Thank you @doromame for telling me <3)

Erina : "何でも乗り越えられる....今までみたいにね" (Nani demo norikoe rareru... Ima made mitai ni ne)

"You can overcome every obstacle put in front of you. You always have..."

I want to emphasize these words 今 ま で (ima made) and 乗 り 越 え (norikoe), which translated to English are 'always' and 'overcome'. In raw version those two panels with Soma and Erina are very similiar to each other which some SouEri fans in Japan have pointed out, I'm saddened that most non Japanese-speaker probably missed the SouEri hint in this chapter.

It's interesting to see Soma saying the exact same words that Erina told him the night before. I believe the author's decision for using the same words isn't merely a coincidence, the Nikumi panel is supposed to be a little tease on Soma's feeling. The author wouldn't write that scene without reason.

In chapter 279 Nikumi's pointed out that Soma's looked so happy, he's smiling widely and saying he can overcome every obstacle as always. But in the previous chapter Soma was a little doubtful whether he could pass the exam or not

And Erina assuring him that she trust him to overcome the exam because he's Soma, she believes that he will always find a way.

You don't need to be a genius to put two and two together, it's very clear where those scenes are going. Soma is one of those characters who are clueless about love, he's so dense when it comes to romance and he won't realize it unless it becomes undeniable, many shounen authors usually reserve that kind of development for the very end of the manga and I'm really glad the author seems to break that trope.

The realization that you're in love with someone usually takes some time. It's the little things that add up and mark this whole process as "falling in love". Things like Erina describing Soma as her ideal type of guy without realizing it, Soma taking notice of Erina's beauty, even Erina getting all nervous about the "Nakiri's mine" thing show that although they're still at the friendship stage, we're starting to see their growing feelings towards each other.

This Asahi plot might be not my ideal way I'd have preferred for a romance arc, but not gonna lie, I'm really enjoying every moment between Soma and Erina in these recent chapters and I'm looking forward to see how far the author will go with their feelings ^^

[sarah1982sblog]

The real Malory Towers experience: Take your child to boarding school!

"You have to dress up posh too, mummy," says my daughter, half stern, half playful. "Or we'll never get away with it!"

Saturday morning and me and my 11-year-old daughter are going undercover.

We're going to the most expensive girls' boarding school in Britain (£37,275 a year to be exact) for their Open Day – as a pretend prospective pupil and parent. My bog-standard-state-school educated daughter has devoured Enid Blyton's Malory Towers series – just as I did when I was a kid – and her head is filled with a fantasy life of midnight feasts and hockey sticks. Wouldn't it be fun – and a tiny bit mischievous – to see inside that world for real? We're a little nervous (do we have the acting abilities to pull it off?), but really, what difference will one extra mother and daughter tagging along make? They'll barely notice us.

Wrong! All parents potentially willing to fork out £37K a year on their daughter's education will be noticed. People have flown in from all corners of the globe for this Open Day. It's a v. big deal. As soon as we enter, my bobbly coat is whisked off me (in the end I’d decided the I'm-so-posh-I-can-be-scruffy look would be more convincing) and we are greeted with fresh coffee, still-warm Danish pastries, and programmes with our names on (sports fixtures in school today: showjumping and lacrosse). 

A pretty, skirt-suited woman, a member of the leadership team, bounces over to us. "Just act confident," I whisper to my daughter. "It's all about confidence." The woman introduces herself and reassures us that she has worked in prep schools for many years before coming here so she "knows where the girls are coming from". "What school do you go to now?" she asks my daughter. My daughter looks her straight in the eye and says the name of her bog-standard-state-school loudly and clearly. I see the woman flicking furiously through her mental files of prep schools. Nope, that one's not in there. She moves on quickly. "So, would you be a boarder or a day girl?" "Oh, definitely boarding!" says my daughter, beaming. (Impressive acting!) "Oh yes, boarding is great fun," says the woman. "Like a perpetual sleepover, right? The other day, the girls all took their duvets down to the den with hot chocolate and marshmallows and slept there all night!" she continues, feeding my daughter's fantasies. 

Then she plucks us our own personal schoolgirl to be our tour guide: a quietly-spoken, very sweet girl in Year 8. I notice that both her shoelaces are undone and she has a big smudge across one of the lenses of her glasses (seems £37K a year doesn't get you quite the care from Matron you might hope for). "First, it's really great here," she says, without changing her expression."I have to tell you that first." (Have to? Like, instructed to?)

She takes us down Alice-in-Wonderland marble corridors and past a huge wood-panelled library with spiral staircases. "Wow, wow, wow!" my daughter and I mouth to each other with sneaky sideways glances. Her tour is interjected with bits of housekeeping information, like, "That's where you put your lac stick while you're in lessons". I nod, knowingly, as if lac is a word I bandy around a lot. 

I notice the door security code she presses to let us into the drama department is in roman numerals. (That should keep the riff-raff out.) She seems super-excited about using the lift to take us up to the theatre. "It's the only lift in the whole school," she tells us. "Everyone loves using it." I look at the buttons. There is only G, 1 and 2. "Erm, do you ever get to go out of the school?" I ask. "Yes!" she says. "Sometimes on a Saturday, Matron takes us to Waitrose." 

She escorts us to the astonishingly beautiful Assembly Hall with chandeliers, balconies and organ playing and we take our seats for an introductory talk and Q & A session with the Headteacher and senior teachers, a row of neat grey bobs and androgynous types in tracksuits. I get myself into slightly sticky waters when the couple next to me strike up a conversation. "It does make one reflect on one's own schooling, doesn't it? And whether you want the same or different for your own child." (Erm, yes, but not in the way you think). I bluff my way through with vague answers, reddening. I'm glad I put foundation on at least.  

The Head actually has a bun. And an ample bosom. Perfect. She's like a nice Miss Trunchbull and has a down-to-earth sense of humour. In answer to the question, "How do you keep the girls secure?" she replies, "Well, if I lose a girl, it's game over for me!" We're also reassured that House Mistresses keep an eye on the girls' table manners. She tells us that she went to this school herself. Now she works here. This is her world. "The chance to go into town with Matron [not just Waitrose] when they get to Year 11 becomes a wonderful thing," she tells us, without a hint of irony. 

Next we are taken to a Boarding House by two pupils from uk.. It is modern. Smart. Comforting, if not exactly cosy. We are greeted by the House Mistress (who lives in an adjoining apartment with her cat) and shown around: Dorms, showers, prep room, dining room. There's also a common room on every floor with sofas, cushions, beanbags – and microwaves. For their Waitrose-bought snacks.

Now, who says there's no such thing as a free lunch? It's fantastic. A choice of hot meals with a choice of hot side dishes, a salad bar, an assortment of fruit and desserts and cheese and crackers. We sit down with our trays and a group of five girls immediately join us. "Great food!" I say. "Yes," they agree. "Though you have to moan about school food. It's just what you do!" They seem eager to meet people from the outside world. Super-eager. They compete for my attention, talking over the top of each other, and I feel motherly towards them all. 

We're feeling really brave now and ask all the things we really want to know. Were you homesick? How often do you see your parents? Can you choose who you share a dorm with? Are you made to have a shower everyday? Do you have midnight feasts? They use words that are foreign to us like mufti and exeat and tell us the nitty-gritty details of their daily life: How their dirty laundry comes back to them washed, ironed and folded in their cubbyhole. How they have to do prep for an hour and a half every evening (though they're allowed to personalize their study booth). How you must walk to and from lessons with your Walking Buddy. How they get sanctions if they talk at night. And how they have to keep their mobile phone in a pigeon hole and are only allowed access to it twice a day (though one parent, they tell me with joyful horror, gave her daughter two phones, so she could secretly call her anytime). The chef rings a bell and two of them jump up like Pavlov's dogs. "That means seconds," they say. "Do you go to school with boys at your school now?" the others ask my daughter. She fends them off wonderfully. "Yes, but I  wish I didn't. Boys can be soooo annoying." She's way better at this than me. 

“So what are you doing this afternoon?" I ask as we get up from the table. "We're going to Waitrose with Matron!" they answer. "Everyone seems really keen on Waitrose here," I say. "Why's that?" They look puzzled. "Well...it's really big," one of them ventures. "So what's on your shopping list today? I ask curiously. "Strawberries!" they say. I look round at the food counter. There is a big pile of strawberries ready for the taking. Clearly, the thrill of Waitrose isn't about the food. 

As we enter the outside world, I'm eager to know my daughter's opinion of the place. "It's a bit like a prison," she says. In Malory Towers, it always says things like 'Daryl nipped off to post a letter', but those girls are there 24/7 – apart from when they go to Waitrose."

"That reminds me," I say."We need to get a few things for dinner on the way home. Let's go to that Waitrose over there." "Urgghhhhh..." she groans. "Do we have to?"

~maisarah dato waad~