#you can blame the wolf pack trailer for this

[l0veisntbrains]

AU SPUFFY ― POST CHOSEN F A N - M A D E T R A I L E R

[weebsinstash]

Anyways so I found a werewolf audio book that's so bad I had to share it with you guys which is a shame because the young female narrator actually does a competent job

So our victim today is Back and Better by NighttShadee and, in the beginning, I had high hopes. It sounded like this was a revenge/glow-up story, and the opening was compelling enough. (tw for nonconsensual acts like forced kissing and like forced marking, suicide, bullying, etc)

This is a really long post, I'm mostly just describing the story and cringing and bitching lol. And when I say long like I basically go into the events that happen over 14 chapters lmao 💀 this shit got me MAAAAAD (plus an actually good recommendation at the very end for a story I actually really liked and found surprisingly high quality for the platform c:)

Amira Warner is 15 (already i am super uncomfortable with the protag being this young), being bullied by her pack and schoolmates, including the pack's alpha's son, Erebus (and you always know some bullshit will happen when they have these dumbass names). They all just call her stupid and weak and fat and a slut and just straight up a cunt, didnt expect to get audibly slapped with the c word on a youtube ad trailer but whatever, and her brother is also one of the bullies, but her parents never do anything because they're literally never home because they travel for work or take constant vacations, idk, but Amira also uhhh makes no effort to tell them what's going on. She blames them for not being around to support her which is valid but she also literally quite literally never even tells them anything whatsoever, that she's being bullied OR that her brother is involved

Like literally, she introduces herself narratively as "my name is Amira Warner, im 15, turning 16 tomorrow, im the bitch of the red river pack, I am beaten and verbally abused every single day". And of course Erebus is her main bully and it is specifically said he is the MAIN ONE WHO BEATS HER

So anyways Amira attempts suicide, and while she's bleeding out, she's discovered by three young boys who are her same age, and they basically give her emergency medical care, and adopt her into their pack since one of them is the future alpha of their pack and he can just do that (lucky her). And there's 3 of them, brothers, but only one of them matters: the future Alpha, Damon. So they're gonna adopt her into their pack right, but before that Amira is gonna head home, grab some of her things, leave a note for her parents, and then leave in the morning on her 16th birthday which is also the day she's supposed to awaken as a wolf, but also, she prays to the moon goddess that, if her mate is in this pack, the pack that abused her, thay she won't feel the pull of the mate bond, and can find a second chance mate elsewhere

Moon Goddess said bet IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE but we get to that later and also yeah she meets the moon goddess, just straight up converses with God multiple times, it's kind of stupid and I actually genuinely hate the moon goddess as a character. The moon goddess makes her promise she's never going to hurt herself again but then knowingly gives her a toxic mate?

So anyways it's her birthday and on top of awakening as a wolf, today is also the day she's supposed to find her mate and 🙄 of course it's Erebus. He waltzes straight up to her after smelling her scent, all "mine" but luckily, Moon Goddess is a G and Amira feels nothing from the mate bond. Absolutely nothing. So she tells him to go fuck himself straight to his face while he's bewildered she's not absolutely tripping over him like he feels for her, and she even outright tells him he is one of the biggest reasons she tried to commit suicide the day before. And after years of bullying her and telling her shit like her only purpose is to be weak and abused, suddenly this bitch is crying actual tears, "Amira no, please, no no no I'm so sorry I love you 🥺" like fucking Bakugo over here giving less than shit when it's too late like actually kys bro

She literally laughs in his fucking face when he's visibly upset she says she doesn't want to be his mate. Queen. She literally says "that sucks alpha, that is really unfortunate" and drives away from him lmaooooo (also who wrote this, we don't let 15 year olds drive??? Yeah this is technically on her 16th birthday but she wouldn't have a license, maybe a learners permit, and that still requires an adult present)

So she leaves and meets the three boys again and they adopt Amira into their pack but also their family and for the next about two years she's literally raised as their sibling, remember, they're all 15/16, right. So anyways after she's rescued, it turns out, oh boy she's a super extra duper special WHITE WOLF who is super extra strong and pretty and also fucking Aang for some reason? She deadass has elements and weather control and it's written in a very cheesy uh Wattpadesque way and also despite being a victim of bullying she kind of lowkey instantly becomes a bitch upon finding out she's a white wolf, and I don't mean "getting back at those who doubted me" I mean like "since she's one of the strongest wolves it's her job to train other wolves from her new pack and she constantly verbally berates them and calls them ladies and little girls and basically acts like a pick me the second she holds the smallest crumb of authority, talking down to grown men just because she's physically stronger than them" like its very jarring to go from her attempting suicide to, chapter 3 is an 18 month time skip where she's immediately treating other people who don't even really know her in a similarly bully-like way (btw the 18 month time skip meaning she is now 17 1/2 which is important because I think she may actually still be a minor when creepy stuff happens later...)

Anyways, theres been a lot of packs being attacked by rogues which in my opinion are the lucky ones because they're the ones who aren't in packs but it's framed as them being outcasts and criminals but when you consider how dangerously close pack dynamics veer into outright cult behavior like, it makes you rethink things. So Amira is told "since our pack is the biggest and strongest, we're sending people out to help train up the other weaker packs" and just guess where her new adoptive Alpha father is knowingly and intentionally sending her back :) and when she rightfully brings up "hey uh you're literally sending me back to the people who made me try to kill myself not even like 2 years after it happened" and he's just like "I know I'm sorry sweetie it's a real cowabummer :( but ya gotta cause, for the greater good or something, I dunno, do what I say lol, you wont be gone long" and there's a line about how she respects his rank as her alpha enough to obey him even though she doesn't want to do this and I really gotta say, it bothers me how everyone tells her it's valid she's upset but still expects her to go. They even later acknowledge, well, maybe we SHOULD HAVE just sent an Alpha from another pack instead, since this place holds trauma for you, and it's like YEAH SHE'S FUCKING 17, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE

Just. Grr! This girl is SURROUNDED by toxicity and it only gets worse

So Amira and her brothers Damon, Jason, and Derek all go back to her old pack, and it helps since they very close sibling relationship, they all have physical play fights and wrestling that is very sibling-like but it does get kind of cheesy and stupid sometimes. Like chasing her down to tickle her because she ate all the brownies she baked herself without sharing any? Or hiding snacks? And uh of course they find a way to make this gross too, which we cover later

I also wanna point out, as someone relistening as we speak, she emphasizes that being a white wolf means "i have a banging body and a hot face" and its just like, what so you turned 16 and after your first shift your body was instantly different? While you're still technically a kid btw, just instant convenient glow up? It would've been better to say she toned up after being able to shift and train with her new family but this story is pretty uh, weird and cringey at times, like bending over backwards to say what a #girlboss she is when she really barely did anything or did something objectively shitty

. Like, she goes to train the adults, and a 22 year old asks why she only gives commands but never spars herself, and yeah he's slightly mean like "oh she's just 17, I could probably beat her" and how does she respond? During the fight she tells him "say uncle and I'll stop" while twisting his arm and he says nothing so she just BREAKS HIS ARM and it's played off as, oh its fine he's a wolf he'll heal, but then she's like "someone call a medic, we have a LADY down" like at this point during my first listening I was seriously confused on how I was supposed to relate and empathize with such an unlikable protagonist? Like girl you were literally called misogynistic slurs and you upgraded to beating up grown men and calling them women like, you internalized that shit, not conquered it 🙄 also a lot of these werewolf stories, not just this one, kind of seem to gloss over "oh yeah we're more rowdy and violent and show pda more and it's not uncommon to accidentally find people fucking in the woods but that's our culture cause we're wolves lol 🤪" really because you all have science and medicine and your own forms of government and half of you are using smartphones and driving Lamborghinis so I feel that, let's be blunt, the sheer debauchery and barbarianism is an active choice and they're kind of just the equivalent of people who run around doing blatantly archaic and cruel shit under the guise of "but.... but tradition tho? 🥺"

Also, because it's happening again, really cannot emphasize how they keep complimenting her body and eventually even outright talk about sex clubs and bondage before she's sven 18. Like sorry I don't want to hear about how this 17 year old is "5'5 with a DD cup and a flat stomach but a big ass" yeah and I'm sure she has a magic thigh gap too 🙄 like in hindsight they deliberately keep her a minor so she's still going to high school for plot convenience but then they put her in REALLY gross and creepy situations. Like as I'm listening to this again I'm double checking and mentions of time passing to see if she's even 18 by the time. Creepy stuff happens.

So when she's going to the Red River Pack, Amira's friend Samantha starts to ask "so you really can't feel the mate bond?" To which Amira replies "no unless he marks me which isn't going to happen" which, forced mating isn't new for these stories but im always very cautious of stories that bring this up because it can be. Skeezy if not properly handled. So. Hypothetical strike 1?

When Amira and the others get back to her old pack and Erebus sees her again, he's still all "mine" and she just brushes it off and tries to talk about training, when Amira's original blood brother shows up and she blows him off too, which, good for her in both regards. So since Damon is "the alpha of alphas", when he says "hey can we actually see our rooms now" erebus shuts up and settles down, and starts showing them around. Amira and Samantha break off to do some shopping before they start school the next day, and they happen to see Erebus buying flowers, which Amira assumes is for his girlfriend. Nope, he sees her walking to her car and is all "can we talk 🥺" and she's like "yeah, at training tomorrow, about strategy :)" and he's just so MOPEY, and saying "I've CHANGED" to which Amira replies, kinda cringe, "and I shit rainbows" and walks away

(Also as a side note I'd like to mention how extremely common it is for the main characters in these stories or side surrounding characters to be like cheesy tropes and it's explicitly said that Damon is a multi billionaire and Amira is "at about half of his networth" from receiving inheritance after she left the pack from her grandma and also money from training wolves but like that would also make her a billionaire??? But her family being extremely wealthy would make sense for why her parents travel to the point of abandoning her, but its just a little much. In fact i dont think you can legally touch inheritance money until youre 18)

So anyways she gets into another stupid play fight with her brothers because she created a snack stash with her own money but didn't share, and Erebus sees her using magic to mess with them, so now he's discovered "oh shit, my mate is a white wolf?"

So like, there are these concepts of these people acting more feral like when it comes to their mates, and she's rejected him, but not like, officially right? Like in a lot of these stories, you can officially break the matebond by verbally declaring something like "I Rhiannon Michael's reject you Nathan Thorn as my chosen mate" and it, severs it? Like a magic cancellation, albeit with negative consequences. So Amira goads Erebus and says "doesn't it suck knowing you couldve had a white wolf as your mate?" To which Damon adds "yeah, now she gets a second chance mate and you just have a forever broken mate bond. I bet your pack will die out"

(A lot of these stories have concepts of "the alphas strength is the whole packs strength, they're the strongest with their true mate", so I assume this is what it means. Also, hhhh kinda lowkey gives me story ideas for a yandere werewolf or whatever who not only wants to but HAS TO keep his squirmy reluctant little human mate because his pack is literally stronger with her there)

But anyways Erebus' definitely mature adult response to this is "you're getting a second chance mate? NO! You're MINE" and CHARGES at her, but with a flick of her hand she knocks him away with a wind shield and mocks him saying she's going to choose another hot sexy alpha over him, but then, chooses to physically approach him, to which he grabs her, spins around, and is straddling her in the ground 🙄 there is an increasing feeling of wariness and uncomfortableness as Erebus nips at her earlobe while growling "mine" and Amira admits to it being pleasurable because, im sitting here thinking, why from a narrative standpoint would you include this detail, that at least physically it feels good to have this forced unwanted touch, from a man whos bullied a girl into suicide, what is the intent here, and i quickly reached a theory and felt a pit open up in my stomach. Red flag number 2. And then when Amira attempts to knock him off with her powers? Nothing happens, and Erebus giddily exclaims that a white wolf can't use their powers while their mate is touching them and wants to will them away

MAJOR RED FLAG. So the inherent powers she has in her own body can be forcibly stopped by someone else in a story about her trying to have her own autonomy and freedom? And she's being forced down by a man she's rejected and made her miserable and cannot use her own powers to get him off of her while he's beginning to basically assault her? RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG and then she just, like, briefly overpowers him, and is all "hah, I don't need powers to fight you! Right brothers? Let's go eat chips lmao" like not even joking it just abruptly ends like that, they just leave Erebus to go eat snacks and the next chapter (5) starts

So, chapter 5, Amira, her 3 brothers, and Samantha are all eating breakfast in the packhouse when her brother walks in, and, wouldn't you know, calls for their parents. And Amira is like, "oh, why would fake mom and dad be here? They're always gone?" But sure enough, in walk her parents, with a fucking two month old baby. Like. Its not properly addressed in the story itself so I just really want to rage that these people literally had their daughter attempt suicide and literally leave a note for them telling them she's running away to a new family and never wants to see them ever again and they just??? REPLACED HER??? It is COMPLETELY glossed over and not addressed AT ALL. Did they even MOURN HER? And of course the baby is a girl, NAMED MIRA. THEY REPLACED HER. THEY REALLY FULL ON DEADASS REPLACED HER AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM.

Like it is not addressed at all. Amira isn't even mad they have another baby besides hoping they don't do the same thing to it that they did to her? Like sorry in some hypothetical scenario where I found out my daughter tried to kill herself partially because of her brother, my son, and she ran away saying I wasn't her family and she wanted nothing to do with me ever again, I think I would hesirate to just immediately spit out another baby after pretty obviously failing my first two attempts? What quiverfull bullshit is this?

But Amira just walks up to them and is all "what I went through drove me to suicide, so love this little girl and give her everything you have, give her all the love you never gave me" but also like uh, you would think her parents would be like emotional and sobbing upon seeing her again and their reactions are more just, very muted and I think that may just be this author being kind of. Shit lmao. The mom just repeats how Amira addressed herself as someone else's daughter but, the conversation is interrupted because Mira is crying hysterically (vaguely implied because Amiras mom isn't very good at, momming) and, ugh, it's emphasized how immediately Mira becomes so calm that she falls asleep upon being in Amira's arms and that "I already feel so much love for this little girl, my little Mira" like she's literally crying tears holding this baby, and my uncomfortable feelings increase because literally the very second this happened I said aloud "oh god are they going to kill off her parents and make her raise her own sister just to show how sweet and motherly she is" and uh. :| well. Anyways Amira immediately asserts that she's going to be constantly visiting to check in on her little sister, and at this point I groan because I realize the little sister is a plot device so that Amira doesn't have the option of just finishing this training stuff and then never coming back to Red River. But anyways she demands her parents show her how to make Mira's formula and the story makes a point of showing how Amira is becoming increasingly reluctant to "stay mad" at her family, which uh would be the only reasonable reaction to be perfectly honest. But since Amira's hands are busy feeding Mira, which is only something she's insisting on doing, her parents are still right here the whole time, she turns to her brothers and asks which one of then is going to feed her, and of course Erebus walks in while Jason is spoonfeeding her pancakes

IMMEDIATELY "MINE, the only man feeding you should be me, you're mine!

"Jason is my brother??? Leave before I set you on fire, there's a BABY here."

So anyways Amira is leaving and there's this stupid part where they make it obvious that Mira prefers Amira over her own birthmother, sobbing the second her mother takes her back, and at this point I'm convinced they're killing off the parents, but, it transitions into a conversation where she deliberately pisses off Erebus on purpose by saying "maybe I'll fool around with someone" to which he bangs a fist on the desk "no you WONT fool around with a man that's not me 😤" and Amira retorts "I can fool around with anyone I want, because I'm hot as fuck, and you have no power over me" nd I'm thinking, good for her, albeit she's still 17 so, like, don't have her have sex at all maybe? And she retorts to him "go mark a pack slut"

And Erebus gets offended by this, but the ACTUAL red flag is DAMON'S reaction, which is "Erebus, hurt my sister and I'll kill you, Amira, fool around with a man I don't approve of, and I'll MAKE YOU WATCH AS I BREAK EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY. Understand?"

Oh, so, you mean to tell me that the brother figure who saved her from dying who has only known her for two years is also beginning to show signs of being possessive and controlling towards her in a potentially not platonic way? Ok. Ok. Red flag. Red flag for sure. Like genuinely the reason I'm going into so much detail is the sheer layers upon layers of ways Amira gets fucked over and betrayed. Also to take her out of the room, he threw her over his shoulder and carried her out? And she says if it wasn't for her real brother Brendan that Damon would be the worst brother ever, to which Brendan who literally used to beat her comes up all hurt like "w was I really that bad of a big bro🥺" to which Amira replies the title of the chapter, 1438, the amount of times her brother physically put his hands on her. She literally begins reciting the figures on how many wounds left marks, how many wounds left scars, and I remember listening to this scene and thinking, "you had the dedication or perhaps spite to keep mental track of all your injuries to the point of counting them but you never sought help from any adult whatsoever????"

But Brendan is legitimately crying and saying he's full of regret and that his parents get on him every day, but Amira just says "fuck you, if we weren't blood I would beat you senseless and light you on fire" and also the father waits until like the very end of this conversation to say "you hit her over 1400 times?" And Amira leaves with her new brothers while her father starts scolding her old brother

So at this point we're thinking, good for Amira, she's starting to really show Erebus and her old family up huh? She's showing everyone how much she doesn't need them and how she's moved on. This is exactly what I want from "you made me try to kill myself stories so now I want either revenge or nothing to do with you" stories.

SO IMAGINE MY ABSOLUTE PAIN AND DEVASTATION WHEN CHAPTER 6 OPENS WITH

EREBUS' POV

LITERALLY i was listening to this story while working and I went, out loud, "NOOOOO THAT MEANS HE'S THE MALE LEAD, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS". So I try to form a protective mental barrier of denial. Maybe they're just showing his POV to rub his nose in how he's fucked up and give us the audience satisfaction? After dropping this story, I actually found another story that did that, that had POVs for both the new and old boyfriend and would cut to the old one to show him scheming, so, when this chapter came along, I was DEVASTATED but tried to think, hey, this, this isn't immediately game over, right?

Wrong

So the chapter starts from Erebus' point of view starting off from him walking in on Amira being fed and his internal monolog is as creepy as you would expect "oh my perfect mate, when I'm near her, I just want to hug her, kiss her, tie her down, and fuck her until she's mine" (again, she's still 17 at this point, I know I keep saying it but, not a big fan of the constant sexualization of a minor in what's supposed to be a female empowerment story?) . And or course his dumb ass internal thoughts are about how he's changed as a person, he reprimands other people for bullying, but he's also told everyone in the pack that Amira is his mate even though she already told him no. And then he has this internal thought process of "no, just mark her by force so she feels the bond. But that would be cheating. We have to do this the right way" but like uh him saying it's wrong does not undo the fact he's even considering forcing her, which, well, later on---

(Also lmao ms 5'5 DD cup huge ass flat tummy Amira is also described as having 'a tiny waist' like girl cmon)

Should I also mention we only have a female narrator so, she also does the men, so, that can be a little. Awkward lol. She has a decent range but, it's still "girl making her voice deeper to try and be a dude". I think she does a good job, simply mentioning, there are other stories with multiple VAs, which I'm getting to later, but, I figured I would mention how the story sounds besides the writing quality itself

Anyways uh Erebus overhears Amira's brothers talking about him, and one of them is like, do you think Amira will ever forgive Erebus, and Damon deadass responds "not sure, if she does I'd be highly apprehensive, but he really seems he regrets his actions, so if she chooses to give him a chance, I'll be there for her" ummmmm the fuck? How would you fucking know? Who are you to even say it seems like Erebus has regrets? And does him having regrets somehow magically undo what he did? It's the fact this is Damon who is Amira's number 1 supporter saying this, that Erebus would vaguely deserve some sort of chance after what he did? And of course Erebus hears all this and says "see she's gonna give me another chance, I believe in the mate bond"

Also if there's an official statement to break the mate bond why didn't Amira just say it instead of insulting him and running off. Like. Red flag.

Erebus witnesses another sibling tickle fight and keeps internally calling her his mate, which is gross, and, oh no anime trope, she was running away and tripped right into him and stumbled them both right over 🥺👉👈 and Damon scoops her up, mocking him and thanking him for catching his sister and saying at least hes good for something. And Erebus, full simp mode, says "as long as I get a chance to hold her, that's fine" and like Damon has a visible sympathetic reaction, gross, and Erebus is all "I hope he hears the sincerity in my voice uwu"

So. Gosh, I know I've written so much at this point, so I may skip some scenes, or only mention footnotes until significant events, but we haven't even come NEAR the PEAK BULLSHIT that happens later

-she confronts her old class again and is all edgy and stupid about it tbh. "Before you all made me slit my wrists, but now I'm here to train this pathetic pack" ok edge lord some of them may have just been minding their own business. The entire classroom calls her "Luna" which is the Alpha's mate and top pack female

-Erebus pushes her up against a wall, you're mine, I love you, and she just replies, oh that must be a shitty feeling, loving someone who will never love you back. Queen. She gets away from getting out of his grip and threatening to burn him and then invites him for a formal fight behind the packhouse after school

-she for some reason was going to go meet him alone? Her brothers only came with after they found out

-she verbally acknowledges she can't hurt him as her mate, but doesn't formally reject him so he, you know, isn't her mate anymore? Like girl you have a solution to the problem?

-"the old me you knew died when she slit her wrists" cringe

-she gets him struck by lightning and gives a dramatic speech telling him dtuff like she tortures without a second thought and he wouldn't want her as his mate since she'd kill him in his sleep and as she's walking away SHE'S CRYING "BECAUSE IT HURTS TO DO THIS TO HER ALPHA WHO CARES ABOUT HIS PACK, AT THE END OF THE DAY HE'S STILL MY MATE AND IT MAKES ME SAD TO HURT HIM" GIRL YOU FUCKING LOSER, TF, genuinely hated this bitch at this point, imagine getting beaten daily for years and years and then just forgiving that and even loving that person. Vomit vomit vomit

-Amira decides the pack is too weak to be trained by her just yet and she doesnt want to stay in the pack house, so she's going to go to a hotel, and also tells all this to her brothers and Erebus, and also to stop telling the pack to call her Luna. Erebus says no, just because he doesn't want her staying in a hotel, not even her not wanting to train them yet, because 'she's his mate and he wants her close to protect her, and the pack calls you Luna because you're my queen and my everything and we WILL be together and mate" gross gross gross

-Amira tells him straight up she'd rather die than be marked by him yet doesn't reject him officially

-Erebus basically threatens to hold her in captivity on suicide watch and mark her without her consent "if she doesn't accept me in the near future"

-white wolves have natural strong maternal feelings which is stupid :/ I thought this was a bad bitch story, fuck them kids, she's still a kid herself, gross

-Erebus sees her helping this little girl Ariel who fucked up her ankle while playing and climbing a tree and he says this gross ass comment like "you're going to be the perfect mother to our pups" 🤮🤮🤮🤮

-Amira tells Ariel's parents not to call her Luna and for some reason this makes them sad? Shouldn't they respect how she feels? She isn't Erebus' mate officially, and then he strolls in trying to emotionally manipulate her by saying she's "breaking their hearts"

-"I used to care about breaking hearts until I cut my wrists from my own heart being broken" and you wanna think yeah bitch you tell him

Or so you would think, right? Except no, ot instantly transitions into describing how he managed to shower and is looking oh so handsome and sexy in a tight shirt that shows his muscles through it AND THIS BITCH ACTUALLY SAYS "OH HE'S SO HOT, I WOULD FOOL AROUND WITH HIM IF IT WASNT FOR OUR HISTORY, ACTUALLY I MIGHT WIND UP DOING THAT ANYWAYS" LIKE, HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT

By this point (speaking in past tense of my first listen, refreshing my memory on second go around) I am incredibly uncomfortable with the framing of this story as it feels almost definitive that Erebus is going to be forgiven and eventually rewarded with Amira, which, no, that's not why I read these stories, and you definitely are going to get on a lot of bad sides having a genuinely awful guy continue to be awful but be only slightly nicer and then never have to face consequences for his past

- Erebus insists that even if she doesn't feel the mate bond, she'll start to be attracted to him, he's, quote, "known as something of a sex god" even though he should realistically only be 17 or 18 years old, so, cap, little boy

-the depictions of Erebus touching her nonconsensually, like holding her down or pinning her against walls, starts to become increasingly fetishized. He corners her and basically tells her his preferred method of punishment is overstimulation and, she's a 17 year old virgin. she thinks this is all hot by the way and thinks "anything that happens between us would merely be fooling around" so its like oh great now you're repeatedly entertaining thoughts and admitting to yourself you find him "incredibly sexy"

So, chapter 9 right. The chapter is called "mate" and something about the simplicity and topic makes me think, oh shit, is this 'it'? 👀 are we here?

Amira's adoptive dad decides to send more Alphas to help Amira with the weaklings. Amira officially moves her things out of the pack house to stay at her fancy hotel in a royal suite "that's basically like an apartment", and she goes to eat at the restaurant at the hotel because, the other Alphas being sent over are also at her exact same hotel and, why not meet them? And upon entering the restaurant, she smells something and she feels this voice I side herself say MATE and she worries, shit, is Erebus here?

"And I look around in a panic, and Erebus is here BUT THATS NOT WHAT I WAS SMELLING"

AT THIS POINT IM HOLLERING, YES FINALLY WE'RE REPLACING THIS BITCH EREBUS, SECOND CHANCE MATE LET'S GO. It's another Alpha, Christian of the Oak Wood pack, and "holy fuck the mate pull is strong" so she's instantly dickmatized, like instantly feeling goo-goo over him. And he adores her and they start making up, which of course makes Erebus mad. And Christian says outright, "you don't deserve her, she's mine" so he obviously knows the story between them? But Amira and him are all doe eyed and she even sits on his lap after he pulls her close, but, y'all you're in a public restaurant... ew.....

So Erebus is sitting there glowering for the rest of the meal until Christian's men leave them alone for privacy, and this bitter bitch really says "let's cut the shit, white wolves are known for having more than one mate,and are known for being shared song them, the way I see it, you and I will have to share" and Amira snorts because that's absolutely fucking stupid and Christian is. Dead silent. "For several minutes"?

And then

This

Absolute little cunt of a man

Just says straight up

"I HONESTLY DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT"

The fuck? The FUCK? DID YOU NOT JUST ACKNOWLEDGE THE WHOLE SUICIDE THING THAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM?

But then this bitch, this bitch CONTINUES, "BUT I SUPPOSE YOU ARE CORRECT, I AM FINE WITH SHARING, IF THAT IS WHAT THE MOON GODDESS CHOSE"

screaming crying pissing throwing objects violently howling at the moon as I rage 'WHAT ABOUT WHAT AMIRA FUCKING WANTS', like girl throw the whole goddamn man away, he literally INSTANTLY ruined this and he JUST got here. this moron literally says "I can tell we were meant to share you, and I don't fuck with fate, I can tell he's different from the man who bullied you" oh so you know him better than his victim c: you know her pain? She should forgive it because he's magically changed but not really? And she should just BE SHARED? C: drink bleach

Oh and Christian is an 18 year old high school senior so he's transferring to Amira's school so basically every aspect of her life is being smothered with one of these prices.

Amira, literally, overhears Erebus and Christian talking in the school library about how "she's bound to come around, but if it isn't in the next few days, we may have to forcefully mark her"

So like, they're basically scheming to rape her. Ok. Let's not mince it. They are scheming to force upon her an act that will nonconsensually and permanantly alter how her brain and feelings and even her biology functions and basically force her to have feelings for them against her will. This is basically the kind of thing I would write, but the difference is I write stalker fetish porn and not, stories legitimately marketed as romance that's supposed to, like, idk, frame the guys as good, desirable people. They plot about even hiring witches to enchant restraints like handcuffs and ropes, and they're talking about things in such scary serious detail it's obvious they plan on doing this for real. And then they sense her outside the library and she tries to run, but of course she gets caught by Erebus :/ she has to "suppress the shiver that threatens to go down her spine" when he nibbles her ear and goes down to where her mate mark would be, gross, and "let's out a moan that's not completely forced" to lure him into false security for her to escape and create a barrier with magic, and oh, she suddenly remembers, she had a magical werewolf mindlink with her brothers, duh? All werewolves have mindlinks

Erebus is all "Amira we're your MATES, we're here to love amd care about you, but you have to LET US" this is like genuine fucking delusional yandere levels of denial and lack of accountability like, the Oscar goes to these men for the ability to act like they ain't the ones acting like total rapist nightmare creeps that she shouldn't have immediately called the werewolf police on

Anywaya, so in the past I was thinking, ok, ok, this has got to be, like, a red herring, right? How Erebus is so terrible and then Christian is immediately a piece of shit too? They just said several mates earlier, so, maybe she chooses number three? Is there a number three?

Mate number three is her fucking brother Damon and they all find out when he appears to rescue her. NUMBER THREE IS HER FUCKING ADOPTIVE FOUND FAMILY BROTHER WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SOURCE OF SAFETY AND TRUST AND SUPPORT FOR HER AND HE WAS BASICALLY ALWAYS IN LOVE WITH HER AND WAS ONLY PRETENDING TO LOVE HER AS A SIBLING AND ALL THOSE TIMES HE WAS ROUGHHOUSING AND SHE THOUGHT HE WAS BEING A PLATONIC BRO? NO HE WAS FEELING HIS ALPHA URGES. CARRYING HER WHENEVER SHE WAS SICK OR TIRED? ACTING ON HIS PROTECTIVE URGES OUT OF ROMANTIC LOVE.

But OH NO, they don't immediately know it's him, Erebus and Christian start freaking out and when Amira says "that's bullshit, I would feel the mate bond otherwise", Damon is just like "well, I know something I could do that might kickstart it if its there but you'll probably hate me for this" and suddenly kisses her without asking and thats how it is confirmed, yeah, he's number 3 and she likes kissing him, until she's panting afterwards 😩

-he carries her off into her car and there's this whole "no don't carry me k can walk, don't buckle my seat belt im an adult" "no Amira you're my mate and rhat involves giving this relationship my all, and that includes carrying you, protecting you, and fucking you--" she's still 17 and you were her "brother" just 5 minutes ago dude. But she gets horny from this 🙄 and. He can smell it.

-conversation about how she's a virgin who's never even masturbated, instantly transition to "he cups my pussy through my pants" YO SHE'S STILL 17 THO???

-Damon booked a suite down the hall from hers at her hotel 🙄 she instantly starts to hook up with him, UNTIL HE SUDDENLY MARKS HER WITHOUT ASKING, AND SHE LITERALLY SCREAMS NO. She says that he knew she wasn't ready and she was too much of her own person to be marked yet and this stupid bastard replies "no you ARE ready, I KNOW you're ready" ok you freak, you've technically known her for not even two years. You know her better than she knows herself? You know her so well it entitles you to break such an intense intimate personal boundary???

So now she's marked by him, against her will, and he's confident in his decision, and, like, it lowkey reads as a horror film because he transitions into how he knows she's scared but he's going to love and protect her but like he basically just MARKED HER SOUL without even a warning? It's like? That's rape dude? There's no glossing over that? You just changed an extremely huge part of her autonomy, bodily, emotionally, psychologically, against her will, and you're just telling her to chill because you love her and she's initially in love with you?

For a woman's empowerment story Amira sure keeps meeting men she is supposed to love and trust who bring some sort of unspeakable betrayal or harm upon her and it only gets worse.

-he marked her but they didnt have sex, awkward transition to two days later

-they're cuddling when Damon gets hard and randomly starts talking about how much he loves his women helpless, he loves bondage and overstimulation and how seeing a girl writhe in denial and overstimulation

-she's turned on, she's deciding you know what, after dinner I'm gonna fuck this man after we got out to dinner. She is INFATUATED with this guy, can't even focus on her food. She does this weird, seductive licking and sucking vanilla ice cream off her lips and fingers since she figures he's already paid the bill so it doesn't matter if he embarrasses them both by carrying her out which he does

But anyways so, they dont have sex again but its the next day, we're moving on to another really uncomfortable plot point. Damon pulls Amira aside and says "hey, with female wolves with multiple mates, when you're marked by one, you go crazy with the urge to mate wirh the others" ok pause, so because he marked her against her will, she is now magically horny for erebus and Christian where she wasn't before, and now they're magically going crazy because they can sense she's been marked and they ""need" to mark her now? This is so fucked up and unfair, where is her CHOICE, why is she a side character in her own story???

so, I don't really like any of these options, but out of the three, at least Damon will protect her from those that try to harm her, right?

WRONG

This

Little

Absolute

Cunt

Says

"YEAH NOW THAT I'M YOUR MATE, I ALSO SHARE A SORT OF BOND WITH CHRISTIAN AND EREBUS, OF RESPECT AND UNDERSTANDING, AND I NO LONGER WANT TO STOP THEM BEING WITH YOU"

psycho. Absolute freak. Marks her by force, and then says he's going to share her with the guy who pushed her to suicide, like DAMON WAS THE ONE WHO literally found her dying, and another guy she's already rejected. So. The betrayals really do keep adding up don't they? Like it's really unsettling how no one is truly in Amira's corner?

So she stands up and says "fuck you" because she feels hurt and betrayed by him, and there's this, extremelt cringey exchange, really genuinely cringey is the only word I can use, so she's trying to walk away from him, he grabs her from behind, lightly squeezes her throat, and says "you WILL calm down or I will take you home and punish you and you would NOT like my punishments. Don't forget I am a Dominant and you are my Submissive" like 🤮🤮🤮 ok Christian Gray wannabe bitch go fys

Amd Amira gets out of his grip and is rightfully enraged he'd threaten her and says he better watch out because she can pray to the moon goddess to remove their bond, and he just like, isn't even listening to her, and he says, "oh that's another thing we'll have to work out, you'll be a Sub to three Alpha Doms" and she's like "what" and casually he's like "yeah we're actually pretty popular at some of the CLUBS around here as famous Doms"

Oh, so. Let me. Let me run this back. Her three mates are her childhood bully who verbally belittled her and also horribly beat her, some new prick she doesn't even know who is totally fine sharing with the bully and is also totally fine with forcing her, and her adoptive brother of two years who doesn't care about sharing either and has already marked her by force, and all three of them have also been running around performing as Dominants at sex clubs at a professional level to the point of being known as, quote, the best Doms out there, the most experienced? That's an enormous turn off for me actually! Y'all are seniors in high school acting as Doms? Is that even legal? Wow, I sure would feel great to know that all 3 of the mates forcing themselves onto me and saying I don't get a choice have already ran through countless other women!

Oh and then her birth parents die. I'm serious, theres like a two mimute transition between Damon saying they'll share to her hearing her parents are dying. They got into a car accident. Her mom dies first and the mate bond weakens and takes her father soon after, so now, just as I predicted, she now has custody of Mira and she furthers her role as a plot device

-she's dumb enough to answer the hotel room door without double checking and all three men force their way into her room with groceries and stuff, to 'help her', separating her from Mira, and they immediately start talking about gags and ropes, and sure enough they brought restraints and she's sitting there with a ball gag talking about how they've restraint proofed the entire hotel suite "wherever we go we can tie her up, even in the shower"

This is straight up fucking yandere bullshit. And she kind of jokingly says "oh they're Dominants, so being restrained is something I guess I'll have to get used to, oh wait I'm not accepting them what am I saying tee hee" girl what the actual fuck this is NOT the time for this.

So while she's gagged, she's basically mentally recounting how to formally reject a mate bond. It will recede on her end, but the mates will still feel ot "and also become crazy possessive, but they're already possessive anyways" so why does canceling the mate bond basically not have any negative consequences. So the second her gag is removed, she verbally rejects them all at once, and they physically collapse to their knees in pain

Um. So. Rejecting Damon apparently doesn't count because the Moon Goddess has to accept your rejection if you're already marked? And Christian says "I reject your rejection" and what does he do? MARKS HER BY FORCE. AND THEN SO DOES EREBUS. AND THEY KNOW MARKING HER BY FORCE WILL CAUSE HER BODY SIGNIFICANT PAIN BUT THEY DO IT ANYWAYS. She literally passes out from the strain of two forced marks.

So at this point its like, how could this get any worse?

How about God herself personally making it worse?

The Moon Goddess herself winds up appearing in a flash of light before Amira and the three men and basically, God, how do I even describe this weird ass fucking conversation. She's acting all holy and motherly and wants to hold Mira and talks to Amira like a mom and then she turns to the men and then, just barely sternly chastises them, saying they completely ignored Amira's consent, and "im going to give you all another chance, but hurt her again and I'll give her entirely new mates"

So. So. So. Ok. Ok. Even though Amira already rejected them though? Like I thought only Damon needed your approval? Christian and Erebus marked her by force after she already rejected them? Did her rejecting them not even matter? Does she have any power or agency at all? Hey, blue fairy bitch, she already told them no and their response was to force themselves on her, so why is your response, oh, I'LL give you another chance. Bitch it's not your choice? The fuck? Also they already proved they're scum? What the fuck? So now even GOD is willing to sell her out? The fuck? The fuck?

So first listen in, at this point I'm obviously incensed, I'm thinking, ok, surely some weird bullshit is going on here, maybe one or two or three of them die or she rejects them all in the end anyways, so I say, fuck it, and skip to like, the third ti last chapter

"Me, Damon, Erebus, and Christian all sat together in the diner--"

Throwing my goddamn phone out the window. Fuck this story man. Fuck these characters, fuck how she literally only had one real friend this entire story (Samantha), fuck how her agency snd choice was constantly taken away from her, just, fuck it all, this was genuinely like a horror story, like genuinely made me uncomfortable to listen to, like I was audibly saying "but that's like rape? That's basically rape? What the fuck?"

So in better news, on the same app that this story is on, DreameFm, is a much better story I listened to and would recommend :) it's The Perfect Luna and you can listen to the first 3 chapters here here and here, (oh you can go straight to downloading the app where the rest have to be bought with coins). It's got some 36 or something chapters which I find a pretty decent length and I think the quality of the story and the voice acting is really good!

It follows the story of Alpha and Luna Riannon Thorne as the story begins with her being killed by her cheating husband's lover and being sent back in time to try and do everything all over again! After she's sent back in time, she can't talk to or use her wolf at all and has to rely on her wits and knowledge of the future to navigate through her second lifetime, but as she starts doing things differently, she finds a much different outcome than before. The voice acting is pretty good, although the lady does change at chapter 26 which is a little jarring since it's more than halfway over at that point but I still found the story worth continuing. The male voice actor, I think there may be two, are also dedicated, and i think you guys may like some of the villains like the evil Fox King who even has his own harem ;) definitely a palette cleanser for the awful awful whiplash that Back and Better gave me 🤮 bluh. Definitely a good girl power listen uwu

[bewitchingbooktours]

Pirate Lover’s Curse by Sheri Queen

Pirate Lover’s Curse

Sleepy Hollow Hunter 

Book Three

Sheri Queen

Genre: Urban Fantasy Romance

Publisher:Wilda Press

Date of Publication: December 22, 2022

ASIN:B0BQX5Y4S5

Number of pages:274 print pages

Word Count: 76,321

Cover Artist: SQ Flemming

Tagline: Half wolf. Half were-cat. One-hundred-percent kick-ass Bounty Hunter.

Book Description: 

Lykoi shifter Janda Gray never expected to be cut off from her fated mate.

But when a centuries-old pirate curse stands in the way, Janda finds herself in a race to unearth a treasure that will break the curse and set Alex free.

As the past and present collide, she realizes the bounty hunter skills she's honed over the years aren't enough to defeat her nemesis—the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow.

Janda struggles with the burden of being the last descendent of the witch who cast the curse—and the only one capable of fixing past wrongs and saving those she loves.

Can she embrace her witch heritage and wield her power before it's too late?

Or, will she lose her mate to the Underworld forever and leave the supernatural community to the mercy of the Headless Horseman?

—————

This is a fated-mate shifter story suitable for 18+. The Sleepy Hollow Hunter series is perfect for urban fantasy fans who enjoy immersive stories of adventure and slow-burn romance. It features witches, ghosts, vampires, demons, and several enticing shifters, and a love story that transcends time. A hybrid shifter discovers her found family and hidden magic.

Book Trailer: https://youtu.be/HIcxeADNNuc 

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3i9ySRq

Excerpt:

“Why does anything pertaining to you have to come with extra baggage?” Uncle Damon said. His dominant pack power surged, affecting the others nearby and making them restless.

The air crackled with his energy. I held my ground. His words stung, but he’d never hear me say it. I’d had lots of practice over the years keeping my hurt from showing, but at this moment, I lashed out with a barb of my own.

“I’m just lucky that way. Kind of like you.” I tapped the desk with my fingertips, knowing he hated it and narrowed my eyes at him.

He sure as hell had his own baggage when it came to relationships and pack bonds, especially when it came to anything with my mother.

“If the two of you are done poking at one another, I’d like to move on to the pertinent issue of the cursed map,” Sebastian said. He stood a good foot away from his desk and peered down at the map as if it might explode.

Everyone had a hands-off approach to the map after I’d blurted out that it was cursed.

“It won’t curse you just by touching it,” I said. “At least, not from what Gwenn or I could tell. It has a hidden layer that will attack you if you try to force it out in the open.”

“That’s just great,” Mutther said. “I suppose you found out firsthand?”

“Not me. Gwenn did. I was the innocent bystander.”

“Right. How innocent?” Nick said. He moved to Mutther’s side and viewed the map from farther away. Neither of them was taking any chances.

Not that I blamed them. They had suffered from being too near me in the past. Mutther was still rebuilding his bar.

About the Author:

Sheri Queen writes immersive stories of adventure and romance.

Her urban fantasy and paranormal women's fiction stories feature snarky bad-ass women, strong female friendships, found family, and sexy romance.

Sheri received her MFA in Writing Popular Fiction from Seton Hill University. She grew up in the Hudson Valley region of New York—an area she loves to depict in her stories. She enjoys traveling to new places where she is constantly discovering inspirations for her writing. She especially loves visiting old graveyards.

https://sheriqueen.com/

https://sheriqueen.com/subscribe

https://books2read.com/u/3yVBEL

https://www.facebook.com/SheriQueenAuthor

https://www.bookbub.com/authors/sheri-queen

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[ofwrxth]

“Well, Hunter’s always been a dick, don’t let it bother you,” Elliot shrugs, taking another bite as he glances around the trailer. It was tight but he didn’t have as strong a feeling as Hunter did. He just doesn’t like unexpected changes. “True. Was already crowded but we make it work.” They did when Brandy and Jeff were still around. Granted, they’d been younger then but it was still five people packed like sardines in the trailer. Elliot cares less now because he managed to get a room himself but he’s sure he’d have a problem if he’d ended up butt to butt with Wolf on the pull out. So he doesn’t really blame Hunter either. But not his problem. Sucks to suck. Elliot laughs, “you think we got some impressive college degree?” It’s a funny thought, him waving around a diploma to get a job at Hyde Flowers. “Where’ve you applied? Could always try the dinner. Pretty sure DJ would cry if you were half decent.” Of course, the youngest Anderson always seems on the verge of a nervous breakdown but he doesn’t say as much. “I work at the florists,” he corrects without getting into it because he refuses to work with both his oldest brother and surprise younger half-sister. He just couldn’t do it. He wouldn't do it. “But uh…what’re you good at? I can ask around for you.” Elliot offers sincerely, not sure why he's willing to help but he is. 

"Oh, for sure. I always pictured I'd be unwelcome wherever I ended up." Rory grinned as she moved out of the way so Elliot could get to where he needed to go. "Luckily it's kinda rare for us to all be here at the same time?" she shrugged, hopeful that was a silver lining. She wasn't bitter about the compact living or the way Hunter would have happily fed her to the wildlife, but she still imagined finding family would feel different. Grabbing her coffee she moved to a seat and sighed. "Still looking, unfortunately I don't have an impressive college degree to stand out from the masses. If you know of anywhere, or know someone who knows someone, I could probably get out of your hair a lot quicker." she sighed, giving a sympathetic smile to him. Why she felt bad for Elliot she had no idea, probably because they were closer in age? Or similar? "What do you again? Landscaping?"

[danetobelieve]

You’ve Got A Friend In Me || Ariana and Winston

When: just before the 12th of June. Who: @letsbenditlikebennett​ & @danetobelieve​ Where: At Ulfric’s Trailer Summary: Ariana and Winston clear through some of Celeste’s old belongings. Warnings: this is all about Celeste so sibling death tw 

While Ulfric had done a good job of at least getting Celeste’s things immediately out of sight, Ariana had still been dreading going through it. She knew there were things she’d want to hold on to and things that needed to go, but actually doing, sorting through each individual thing would be opening up a fresh wound over and over. It was why she was grateful when Winston offered to help. Not having to do it on her own made the task seem a little more bearable. Nothing would completely take away the sinking feeling in her chest, but even a little light was enough of a reason to push forward. This made things final and more real in a sense. There was no running from what happened, so she had to face it head on with a good friend by her side. She heard the quiet hum of their car pulling into the driveway and lifted herself off the floor. The door was open as Winston was walking up the way and she offered a weak smile. Not forced, but still not reaching her cheeks as it normally did. She offered a hand when she realized they were carrying iced coffees and snacks, too. “Hey, Winston,” she greeted, “Thanks for helping with this. It really does mean a lot to have you here with me. The iced coffee definitely doesn’t hurt either.” 

Shopping for snacks was one of Winston’s skills. They had long ago honed in one the best that the supermarket aisles of White Crest had to offer. They knew the best places to go if you needed doughnuts, cookies, pizza, coffee. For a town this size the variety in snacking opportunities were diverse. But sometimes, you couldn’t beat the basics. Pulling up in the drive, Winston stepped out of the car and grabbed a rucksack which they had stuffed full with every imaginable variety of snacks. Scooping up the iced coffees, Winston moved up to meet her. “Hey, no problem, I’m happy that I can be here to help.” They reached over to pass them their drink before slipping in through the front door. “I’ve got the whole weekend if you need it, we can go at whatever pace and even if we get nothing done it’s not the end of the world, we’ve got other weekends.” Hopefully. Almost in response to that fear, the eyelid on their palm itched and Winston had to stop themselves from touching it. 

Ariana stepped aside and took a long sip from her iced coffee as she let Winston into the trailer. It was obvious they came prepared with more goodies than they could have possibly needed, but she appreciated them all almost as much as she appreciated their endless patience and understanding. When they spoke and explained that they could take their time, the tears that pinched at the edge of Ariana’s eyes weren’t for Celeste. She couldn’t believe she had such a good friend in her life. She had so many good friends in her life at this point, but Winston was her first real friend she made here. The first person she told she was a werewolf and someone she knew she could always turn to. With all the moving around, she’d never really gotten a chance to form this close of a friendship with someone. It left her feeling both overwhelmed and grateful all at once. She nodded slowly, gesturing toward the counter so Winston could set some of the snacks down. Once their hands were free, she set her own coffee down and gave them a hug. She buried her head in their chest for a moment, finding comfort in the family prattle of a heartbeat and their scent. She pulled away and said,”I think I’m ready to tackle this. Helps that I’m not doing it alone.” She led the way back to the room the girls had shared. She pulled out some duffle bags from the closet and boxes that had been stashed under the bed. She let out a sigh as she looked at them and took a seat on the floor, grabbing her iced coffee hoping it’d give her more energy to do this. “There’s just too many reminders in here right now. I know one day I’ll want to remember, but right now it feels weirdly suffocating and empty at the same time. This just,” she paused, taking a deep breath, “It sucks. She should be here. She didn’t--” She cut herself short, breath hitching in her throat. Nope, it was way too soon into this process to get emotional. “Right, uhm, any books are yours to keep. You’ll get more use of them than I would.” 

As Winston set their treasure trove of goodies on the counter of the trailer, they found themselves enveloped in a hug. Pulling Ariana in as tightly as they could, they held her until she pulled away and looked down at her giving her a small smile. “You’re not going to be alone through any of this, me, Ricky, Rio, Blanche, everyone else, we’ve all got your back through this.” Winston couldn’t imagine how difficult this would have been for her. Losing a loved one was hard, Winston could tell from first hand experience that was far too recent for their liking. Although now that they were going to get Bea back it was less of a worry for Winston, but it did only drive them to be more determined to help Ariana through this. “Well, we’ve got storage space if you want to give me some boxes to keep out of sight for a while, at least until you’re ready to see them again.” Winston hadn’t checked with their roommates but they knew that they wouldn’t mind. After all it was the very least that they could do to help her. “Everything about this is so violently unfair and difficult,” Winston put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze before squatting down next to the pile of books and raising an eyebrow, “Uh, thanks, I’ll look through them later and donate any that I don’t want, what’s the best place for me to start?” 

If there was anything that kept Ariana pushing through the thick waves of pain that came and went with grief, it was the fact she truly did have so many people who loved her and were looking out for her. She’d found all she ever wanted in White Crest-- that found supernatural pack that fought and cared for each other through thick and thin. It just still felt wrong that Celeste wasn’t here for it. “I know I’m not. Everyone, especially you, have been really-- well, you’ve been here. Continue to be here and let me just feel my way through it,” she weakly smiled and looked down at the bags in front of her. She nodded along with Winston’s offer, feeling a small bit of relief that if she didn’t get through everything today, she could at least have it out of sight for a little bit. “I may take you up on that depending on how much of it we get through.” She opened up one of the bags in front of her, which primarily seemed to be assorted photos as well as some important documents. The photo on top had been one of her and Celeste when she was about five years old. It was at some playground back in Washington and she was hanging from the monkey bars. She looked at it, remembering just how fun the day had been, with her eyes already watering up slightly. She set it down, figuring this whole bag was a keep bag so it could be shoved back in the closet. “You’re right,” she said softly, “It’s not.” The next bag she pulled out was mostly clothes, easy enough to go through. “If you could help me pick anything out of here that’s not black, white, brown, yellow, or blue-- that’d be great. I can wear most of it, I’ll donate the rest,” she explained before noting, “I think all her books outside of a novel or two are on different supernatural species.” 

“No one can expect you to feel anything other then what you’re feeling right now and I can’t begin to understand what that is, but I want to help however I can.” Winston’s heart had broken that night that they had seen Celeste drop to the floor with a knife in her chest. Winston couldn’t imagine what Ariana must be feeling. She had lost so much and if there was anything that they could do then they would. “We can see how it all goes,” Winston knew that they would probably take a bit more time doing this then they normally would with anything or anyone else. Raising an eyebrow gently as Winston sifted through the pile of clothes that they had been given pulling a few items to one side and the rest to the other. “Wow, we could definitely add those to the library, which you need to remind me to show you, even if you’re not going to really read anything it’s just really cool. It’s this old building that is kind of falling down, me and Rio have been working on it for a while, we’re slowly digitising this library from this old group of people called the Scribes and they had a lot of knowledge stored there, so that would actually be a really great addition and that way it could help other people instead of you know, just me. I’ll obviously keep the originals but digital versions of everything would be great as well I just have to do some photo copying.” 

When everything had first happened, Ariana had been worried that Winston would see her differently. They hadn’t known about the supernatural for all that long and she had turned into a wolf and mauled a man in front of them. She wouldn’t have been able to blame them if they were a bit frightened of her after the fact. It seemed her worries were unfounded because Winston had been offering support throughout it all. They knew Adrian Aquilla had deserved what she’d done and worse. They knew her world felt like it was falling apart and they were here every step of the way to help pick up the pieces. “You’re right,” she agreed. However far they got along today was progress. While going through a bag that had most of her weapons, Ariana perked up at the mention of a library that seemingly had information on the supernatural. While reading wasn’t her thing, that sounded helpful as fuck considering where they lived. “A library? Yeah, I definitely want to check it out. If it’s digitized, I can usually put it through a text to voice thing so I can understand it better. That’s super fucking cool you guys are doing that though. Celeste would be happy to have some of her books contributing.” She set aside the hunting knife she knew was Celeste’s favorite and knew she’d keep that one for herself. Kaden could have most of the rest. All of her arrows could be Layla’s. She turned to Winston, “Think any of you would want one of her hunting knives? I usually carry one on me for runs because White Crest be like that sometimes.” 

Pausing for a moment, Winston considered the predicament that they all currently found themselves in. It was hard not to crumble under the terrifying weight of all of this but Winston wasn’t going to allow something as heartbreaking as this to tear them apart. They’d made it through the worst, they had to have made it through the worst. If they hadn’t made it through the worst then they didn’t know what they were going to be able to do to cope in the future so they had to believe it was going to now get better. “Yeah, I mean, parts of it are digitized, it is a pretty time consuming process but we make progress every week, what we have got should be compatible with various types of accessibility software, we’ve been really careful to try and make it as easy to use as possible because some of the books are super old and we don’t want just anyone going through the originals. The amount of times I’ve almost spilled coffee on a hundred year old leather bound tome is humiliating.” Winston laughed gently and shrugged. “Uh, I don’t really carry a knife …” or any weapon other then the gadgets they were tinkering with at the time, “but I can check if the others want one, I could always hang the knife on wall or something too…” Taking one of Celeste’s weapons felt wrong and Winston wasn’t sure that they were the right person to offer this to. 

Focusing on Winston’s words was much easier for Ariana than paying attention to the pangs of pain that kept hitting with every object she picked up. Everything still smelled like her and part of her wanted that to never fade. That familiar floral smell that always had a hint of lemon to it. While it had always been comforting before, the threat of it fading away left her heart thudding against her chest erratically. Library. Books hundreds of years old. Not spilling coffee on them. Making them accessible. Noble cause not that she’d expect anything less from Winston. “That’s pretty fucking cool. With all the weird shit that happens here, having some references to help figure things out is definitely good. May save us all from impending doom one of these days. Buy us some time before the mimes kill us all,” she chuckled softly even though she wouldn’t actually be shocked if the town was destroyed by mimes. It wasn’t surprising that Winston wasn’t really one to carry knives around. She’d probably just hold on to them for now. Part of her wanted to give them to Kaden since he and Celeste had been close, but she was hesitant. She wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if he used them on another wolf as much as she wanted to trust that he wouldn’t. Maybe Nell, she was short and feisty. Plus her and Bea had helped them out. Then again, Kaden had tried to as well. Ugh. She had enough to worry about without trying to be a hunter’s fucking keeper. “Nah, I think I know someone who may actually use them. I’ll just set them aside for now.” They could easily be stowed under the bed and Ariana didn’t feel inclined to think on that one for much longer. She shoved them under the bed and grabbed a box she had in the corner of the room. “Any clothes in the throw away pile can go in here. Figured I could donate them or something… well, besides the ridiculous Al’s uniform.” 

“Honestly, finding that library was one of the best things that had happened to me in the last few months, the amount of information that it has allowed me to find and that information has helped me help other people,” Winston ran a finger through their short hair and shrugged, “it’s really cool, I’d love to give you a tour one day if you wanted.” Winston trusted Ariana implicitly. “Just, keep it on the downlow, we don’t want too many people to find out about it just in case the wrong sort of people decides to use it for the wrong sort of research.” Winston was sure that the old scribe library would have more then dangerous information that was not something they wanted the public to have access to. Either way, the conversation seemed to be helping to distract Ariana. Winston couldn’t imagine how intense this must be for her. Being in a room filled with memories and reminders of what they had lost. “I can run them down to the local thrift stores or whatever, my mom probably has some charity that her book club is collecting for or some church drive or something that would love to take them.” Winston paused, “Also, I may have been talking to my parents about you and they want you to come over for dinner … if that’s cool?” 

“I’m glad you found it then. I’m sure it helps with trying to make sense of the whole supernatural world thing. I’m not even new to the supernatural and some of the stuff that happens here is wild even for me,” Ariana responded as she sorted through shoes. They were able to share shoes so she put the pairs she liked back into the closet as she went. Having Winston here definitely made this easier. While the sadness never completely faded away, she was able to enjoy Winston’s company despite it. They made it easier to not hone in on how every single memento made her feel. She could listen to them and feel a bit more at ease. “You got it, definitely don’t want the wrong person finding it and using it to try and destroy the town… or make more mimes. Did I ever tell you I actually broke into Yours, Mime, and Ours?” She didn’t think she did, since they’d been so adamantly against the idea when she mentioned it, but hey, she was alive and not arrested. At the mention of Winston taking the clothes to donate for her, she felt herself relax a little bit. Once less thing to do with all of this. They really were doing so much to make this loss just a little bit easier to navigate. “If you could, that’d be great. That’s cool that your mom does those kinds of drives. It doesn’t surprise me that your mom is great though. I mean, look at how awesome you turned out,” she said, her smile fully reaching her eyes this time, “I’d love to meet your parents and you know how I feel about dinner. You’re like… the first real close friend I’ve gotten to have. It’d be super cool to see the people who raised you.” 

“There is just so much for us to learn; or that we could learn and that library has all of this amazing knowledge in there. It’s like the library in season two of Avatar the Last Airbender just minus a giant owl and if you say that you don’t know what that is then I definitely have our next show we’re binge watching together.” Winston was hoping that anything would distract Ariana. Being there for her wasn’t hard. Actually helping her was an entirely different story. They just hoped that one day their new friend could grow from this, but losing Celeste would’ve been difficult for anyone. “No, you didn’t tell me, but I did too, you have any run in with that creepy mime monster that they’ve got lurking around there?” Winston hadn’t thought about mimes in almost a few months at this point. Seemed kind of absurd that they had been such an issue for a hot second there. “I don’t know if my parents are planning on anything special or anything, but I’ll let them know that you’re happy to come around and we will organise a time, I’m sure they’ll end up inviting Ricky and Orion too. If you think that you love Ricky then you haven’t met my mother yet. She treats him better then her own kids.” Winston grinned at that, obviously a lie but it didn’t matter, Ricky was family. 

Confusion was apparent on Ariana’s features as Winston spoke of that Avatar show. She’d heard of it, but she really hadn’t done too much in the way of watching television shows. When she did they were typically cooking shows or some home project show on HGTV. That was when they had cable at that, which hadn’t been very often as she was growing up. Streaming made it a little easier, but she’d never been able to sit still for long. Well, at least not before all of this. Grief had a way of immobilizing even the most energetic of people as she recently learned. “Looks like we have a new show to binge watch then because I’ve never seen Avatar. I trust you either have it on DVD or know exactly what streaming service it’s on,” she said with a laugh. They were an unlikely pair, but she did enjoy learning about the things that excited Winston. It was definitely preferred to the memories that came flooding back as she pulled out Celeste’s roller skates. She sat there for a moment, staring at them and remembering last summer that they’d spent in California. She could still see Celeste on the boardwalk with a sprinkle covered ice cream cone in hand, laughing over some dumb joke Ari had told. They’d been on the run even then, but somehow that day had seemed more carefree. She swallowed back the lump in her throat and blinked a few times, “Yeah, there was no weird mime monster, did have to fight my mime clone though. Bitch turned into a wolf and everything. The wolf had stripes and wore a beret and honestly I’m still offended by it.” She didn’t tell the story with the same enthusiasm she usually did, but she found it more difficult to muster that kind of hype when she wasn’t feeling it. A shadow of a grin did come back to her face as they talked about going to their parents’ home. “Honestly, how could anyone not love Ricky? Whatever we do, I’m sure it’ll be nice. I look forward to meeting them.” 

Winston smirked, “Great, we can watch legend of Aang and then legend of Korra. That’s like several seasons of good wholesome enjoyable content. You’ll dig it. It takes a while to get going but you know, we’ll get there eventually and you’ll realise that you’re viewing literal art.” Raising an eyebrow as Ariana discussed her excursion to the mime cafe, Winston chewed on their lip and sighed. “Well, all things considered with the mimes I guess that it could be worse, I had to deal with a mime version of me too.” That wasn’t one of Winston’s fondest memories and despite the fact that it had been a little more then a month ago, it felt almost as if it had been years since that had all happened. Weird how things change like that. Everything had changed. Bea. Celeste. Everything. “Don’t worry about it, a lame knock off mime version of you wouldn’t hold a flame to you. You’re one of a kind. Can’t be copied and replaced.” Winston really meant it. They just hoped it was enough. Honestly, the thing with grief is that sometimes it could feel like a tide that swells and constantly washes you away from the shore. It always feels like a losing battle until it doesn’t. “I only have a single condition that you must agree to before I arrange this.” 

While Ariana didn’t really understand the shows they were talking about, she was sure she’d figure it out as they watched. Plus, wholesome content was exactly what she needed right now. “You got a deal. We’ll be binging Avatar and is Korra the same thing? Are they different? You’re like speaking another language right now that I still need to learn.” She kept sorting through odds and ends she pulled out of the closet, not really wanting to concentrate on the feelings each individual item brought up. It wasn’t easy, there was still this void inside of her screaming that all of this was just too much. Nothing would ever just fill the spot Celeste had played in her life, but she reminded herself that didn’t meant her life was as empty as it felt. Hell, Winston was right here by her side, through the thick of it all, doing what they could to make things a little bit easier. “Yeah,” she agreed, “It sounds like a lot of people had to confront their mime twins which is just weird, but you’re right, definitely could’ve been worse. I only got a little bit scratched up and to be honest, the scars look pretty badass.” Her hand ran over her side and she frowned slightly as she remembered Celeste patching her up. Ugh. Why did everything have to remind her of what she’d lost? Not that she wanted to forget Celeste, she just wanted a little bit of peace. Though Winston’s words did bring a small grin to her face. “Likewise, there’s only one Winston Dane and no one could ever replace them.” Her eyebrow arched up at Winston’s mention of agreeing to a condition. She was intrigued and asked, “What’s the condition?” 

“Okay, the concept of Avatar is that there are people who can control the elements, they call them benders. The avatar can control all four elements and is reincarnated in a cycle. So Legend of Aang is about the avatar called Aang and Korra is the sequel about … you guessed it, the avatar named Korra.” Winston loved the show and was very excited to show Ariana it. Hopefully it would be another wholesome distraction. As they worked, Winston tried to put themselves in Ariana’s shoes. But the idea of losing a sibling wasn’t something that they could cope with, Celeste in so many ways had been more then just a sibling for Ariana and the pain that their friend was experiencing wasn’t something Winston could comprehend. “The scars definitely look badass,” Winston agreed. They were sure that by the end of this year they would all be covered in an entirely new set of scars. But for now they were safe and that was what mattered. They’d keep taking care of Ariana as best they could. “When my mother tries -- and I guarantee she will -- when she tries to bring out the photo albums, you must rapturously and vigorously deny her the opportunity because I can’t live through another night of those.” 

“Okay, that actually does sound pretty dope. I’m not usually super into TV, but it sounds like a good story. Plus, hanging out with you makes anything more fun,” Ariana responded with a real smile this time. If there was one thing that gave her the strength to keep going, it was how much love and support she had in her life. The future still felt like a giant question mark, but she had so many reasons to keep pushing forward through all the grief, uncertainty, and anger. Even just being here and talking with her made this task that had seemed so daunting before a little bit easier. She’d only teared up a little so far and they’d gotten through a lot of Celeste’s things. The one benefit of being on the run is they always had to leave possessions behind. With a small laugh, she said, “Scars definitely have that effect. Helps that I’m already a badass, too.” At the mention of photo albums, Ariana cocked an eyebrow and tilted her head slightly. “I’m supposed to say no to seeing photos of little Winston? I don’t know, that’s really asking for a lot, especially because I definitely want to see those photo albums.” 

“You’ll like it, I promise you that I would never recommend something that you wouldn’t enjoy.” Winston grinned gently. TV recommendations was one of their few strong suits. Besides, supporting Ariana through this was something Winston could try and do. They would need to help her make a new family here, even if it hadn’t been the same as when it was just her and Celeste, they could still make this safe for her. This could still be her home. “You were always a badass,” Winston agreed solemnly. “Yes, because if you don’t say no or if you go and then look at the albums then all of my … coolness will well and truly disappear and you will realise that I am actually pretty lame, and gaslighting you into thinking that I’m cool is like the only thing that I’ve got going for me at the moment and I don’t know if I’m ready to lose that.” 

There was little doubt in her mind that Ariana would enjoy the show, especially if it also meant more time spent with one of her closest friends. Now that the daunting task of going through Celeste’s things had been mostly done, Ariana felt a huge weight being lifted off her shoulders. Winston had helped her carry it and she couldn’t have been more careful. The sadness was unavoidable and she knew she’d always miss Celeste, but how much support she had left her confident she could learn to redefine what her future would hold and what happiness meant. She smirked at the mention of being badass, “Always have been and always will be.” Her tone still sounded tired and run down, but there was a hint of playfulness to it that showed she was moving through. She shook her head, “Mmm sounds fake. I’d never think you’re lame. You’re supportive, kind, honest, and smart as hell. Even if you are a nerd, I still think you’re cool.” 

Raising an eyebrow gently at Ariana’s kind words, it took them by surprise that despite everything that was going on she could still have the capacity to care for them in her own special way. Winston knew that there was a reason that they had become such good friends, despite the age difference and the differences in upbringing and life experience, Ariana had quickly become like a younger sister to them. More then that she had become one of their closest friends. “You’re really kind supportive honest and smarter then hell, plus you’re not a nerd, so … you win.” Winston winked playfully and finished off their box. They’d been at this for awhile and honestly WInston was exhausted. They weren’t sure how Ariana was feeling but taking a break wouldn’t be a bad idea. “How are you doing on your end? You want to go take a snack break or something?” 

Ariana couldn’t help but shake her head and laugh. “Fine, fine, if you insist, I win. That just means you’re even cooler for having the dopest friend around.” She playfully nudged their arm and finished off the box she was working on. They’d gotten through most everything, so she more than welcomed the suggestion of a break. She wasn’t sure how she would have made it through so much of Celeste’s stuff without them. The easy going conversation kept her mind from being 100% tuned in on the crushing feeling each little memory brought her. Winston was a damn good friend and she would make a point to always be just as supportive. “A break sounds like a good idea. We’ve got some frozen pizzas in the kitchen. Wanna heat a couple up and watch some of that Avatar show you were talking about,” she asked. With Winston’s approval, she threw some of the pizzas in the oven before joining them on the couch and handing the Roku remote to Winston. She cozied up with one of the blankets she had laid out on the couch and let herself relax a bit. Today had been draining though now that it was done, she felt a bit lighter. Like maybe tomorrow would be a little bit easier. 

[laylacooke]

A Wounded Paw & A Full Heart || Rio, Harsh, & Layla

TIMING: The day after the Wolf Pack meeting. PARTIES: @3starsquinn, @notsoharsh, @laylacooke SUMMARY: A hunter, vampire, and a human walk into a bar... help a werewolf with an injured paw. WARNINGS: Mentions of self-harm, depression, and fixing a hand injury.  

Shame seemed to sit heavy in the girl’s heart after the way she had acted last night at and after the wolf meeting, and she had paid a hefty price for it with a broken hand. Doing the best she could to hide it from her roommates, Layla had used up almost all of the ice in the freezer. But the pain was starting to become a problem and the swelling had gotten too bad. Luckily, she knew just who she could call.

With Rio now on his way to get her, she waited just down the road aways from Ulf’s trailer. The last thing she had wanted to do was get anyone caught or in trouble.

Orion had just recently met Layla, but it seemed like the girl had a knack for getting injured. Not that Rio could really judge. He had his own fair share of injuries recently, and most had been his own fault. Like almost drowning in a lake or tripping down a hill. He had nursed a black eye for like a week trying to recover from that one. Still, he had to worry about the girl. She clearly knew something about the supernatural aside from being a werewolf, but with Lucas’ injuries and the number of hunter’s in town- his own family included - Rio needed to keep an eye out to make sure none of these injuries turned fatal. Was he really up for that task?

He had borrowed Ricky’s truck for this, his own car still at his parent’s house. He pulled up to the maps location that Layla had sent and saw her along the road, not near anybody’s house. Weird. “Uh hey” Rio rolled down the window as he pulled up and immediately took notice of the hand. “Jesus, that looks painful. Jump in.”

Layla was starting to shiver from the pain and cool breeze that was blowing through the trees. How did she keep managing to get herself hurt? Okay, last night was her fault. Punching trees in anger as hard as humanly...no, animalistically possible would do that to a person. And Salva did say something about the broken nose she had left him with a few days prior to the wolf meeting, but it still wasn’t smart on her end, and it seemed whatever had happened to Layla last night, not only physically broke her, but emotionally as well.

Seeing the headlights of the truck, Layla began moving forward to meet him, “Thanks, Rio.” Going to the other side of the vehicle, she opened the door with her good hand and climbed in cradling the other one close to her body, “Do you know where WC General is?” She wasn’t the same girl he had seen just the other day when they were fighting off Francesca. Her demeanor was different and her voice was just a little quieter with no inflection or life to it.

Orion weighed his options. To ask or not to ask. Speaking from personal experience, Rio knew if he had been in this situation, he wouldn’t want to be asked what had happened. But that was usually because he hadn’t had a good explanation for it. Rio hoped that this situation was different. But whatever it was, Rio thought better. For now at least. Something was wrong, Rio just wasn’t sure what. “It’ll heal.” Rio began. He was sure she knew that Werewolves had enhanced healing, but speaking from his own experience, it would take some time. “If it’s broken, they’ll have to set it first. But once it’s back in it’s right position the healing process will speed up.” He hated speaking from experience. 

“Oh yeah, I’m familiar.” Rio grinned, letting out a breath that almost sounded like a laugh. “I’m a local.” He realized that besides almost dying together and exchanging information and secrets, the two didn’t know much about each other. He wasn’t particularly good at making friends either. Instead, he just let off the brake and started driving in the direction of the hospital. “You’re safe right? It’s not like that vampire or something else that did this right?”

Her eyes were set on the massive amounts of towering trees that sat just beyond view. She listened as Rio spoke about her hand and how it needed to possibly be reset in order to heal. Her ribs had already felt much better and the bite marks were already gone. It was something else that Layla would physically mend from, but emotionally, she wasn’t sure. She felt broken and lost. Alone. God did she feel so alone.

She knew he was doing his best to cheer her up and reassure her that everything would be okay, but would it? They had only just met. She knew nothing about him or his family, just like he knew nothing about her. Why not give him something? Anything. “I found out the man who sired me is from one of the deadliest lines of werewolves known to man. I broke his nose, too.” She continued to stare out the window.

Lucky for both of them that White Crest was a small town. The hospital was a pretty short drive from just about anywhere that needed to get to it. Probably on purpose, considering the town’s less than stellar history. Orion never gave much thought to how werewolves had been turned. The how had never much concerned Rio just as it had never concerned the Quinn’s, though for wildly different reasons. But Layla gave up some pretty private information to Rio. And a scary one at that. “Woah. That���s uh- yikes.” He wasn’t exactly sure how else he should respond. “Good for you,” Rio wasn’t really a violent person by nature but couldn’t exactly blame Layla for punching the werewolf. It didn’t sound like much of a consensual change. “Did he do that to your hand?” Rio asked, one final question before he turned into the hospital parking lot and tried finding the closest open spot that he could. “Wait there,” Rio said, jumping out of the truck and circling to the other side and opening it “Grab onto my arm, the truck is a bit tall.”

The trip to the hospital was quicker than she had thought it would be, but she was grateful. Her hand was pretty bad off and throbbing intensely from the jarring around in the car. She had held off on answering Orion seeing him park the truck. Before she had time to open the door, she had noticed he was there waiting on her. Taking his arm, she slid out of the truck, feet hitting the ground, “No. He didn’t. I did. Last night.” It was the first time she had looked him in the eyes, her eyes tired and heavy, “I punched a tree.” Turning her attention back to the hospital, “Harsh said to meet him in the back.” Layla pulled out her phone, and with her good hand, slowly sent a text to the number he had given her. When she was finished, she shoved the phone back into her pocket and looked back to Rio for guidance not wanting to think.

Orion wasn’t sure if Layla doing that to herself was a good thing or a bad thing, but he decided that it was better than someone doing it to her. Punching things in a fit of anger was normal, right? People did it all the time in movies. Rio had never really done it before, but it didn’t necessarily mean anything bad. Aside from some anger management issues maybe. “Oh.” Was all he could really think to respond with. Great. Still, Rio was worried about the girl. “You know Harsh?” Small town, indeed. Though Rio barely knew anything about the man honestly. Aside from him being curious about the mimes in town as well. “We can cut around here to the back. Hopefully he can find us. Have you met him in person yet? If not, he will recognize me.” Rio led the way towards the back of the hospital, wondering exactly why they were even meeting here in the first place.

“No. He just said he could help me. He saw my post online.” Her voice was flat. No emotion held. Just numb. Had Rio seen it? Ari had already been yelling at her through text messages for posting online that she needed help. Couldn’t Layla do anything right? She felt like she was sinking lower and lower with every passing moment, and much like last night, she wanted to run again. Take off and never look back, but she needed help, and both Rio and this Harsh guy had been kind enough to assist her. Without hesitation, despite what her head was telling her, she followed Orion to the back of the hospital, “How’s your side?” It was the first caring thing she had asked, and for the briefest moment, Layla almost felt human.

Layla had posted something online? About needing help? Orion glanced at Layla curiously. She was… peculiar that’s for sure. A new face in town that had already made an impact. But she had reached out for help, which was a good sign regardless. Asking for help was a start that Rio himself had never really mastered, and while a certain amount of caution should be exercised when asking for help from a group of complete strangers, it was still good that she had done it. Better than try to deal with this wound and whatever other problems she had on her own. “My side?” Rio asked curiously, already almost forgetting the wound he had suffered from the vampire that had attacked them. “Oh! That. It’s fine, basically all healed up.” As far as injuries went, his had been pretty mild and though he hadn’t inspected it much since that morning when he finally got home, he was sure that it had probably healed up by now. “Thanks for asking.” Rio smiled, leading her around a corner and presumably where they should be meeting Harsh. “Should be somewhere around here I think.”

Layla was grateful that Rio was okay. Her mess had put him in danger, and it was something, along with everything else, that had been weighing on her mind. If she had gotten him killed, she wasn’t sure what she would have done. Maybe people didn’t need to be around her. Maybe it was for their own good. Keeping her distance was something, she needed to start practicing again. She had gotten too close too soon, and that meant that danger for herself and everyone else was highly possible, “Good. I’m not the best person to be around, so I’m just glad you’re okay.” She walked silently behind him hoping they would run into this Harsh guy soon. She just wanted some relief from the physical pain she was in for the time being, but she had also had the lingering thought to just let it be, since physical pain was a good distraction from mental pain.

As far as his spur of the moment choices went, Harsh was feeling mostly pretty good about this one. It wasn’t like this was anywhere close to his worst use of hospital resources. The ‘doctor’ he had dragged into helping was really more of an intern, but he was decent and had never killed a patient intentionally as far as Harsh knew, and he was pretty sure that the guy couldn’t mess up treating a broken hand. He had left the guy in an empty exam room to wait before making his way to the back doors of the hospital. Poking his head out every few minutes, he lifted a hand when he spotted a familiar face and an unfamiliar one. “Hey, you the one with the broken hand?” he asked when they got close enough. “I’ve got the doc waiting for you. C’mon. Things are pretty busy in the ER, no one’s gonna notice you sneaking in.” He opened the back doors and nodded at a waiting wheelchair. “If you ride around in that, no one’ll ask questions.”

What was Harsh doing here? Not that Orion had much of a chance to talk to him while they were breaking into a mime restaurant. Did Harsh work here? “Uh hey there!” He perked up, waving at the man. Did Harsh remember him? They hadn’t spent that much time together and Rio wasn’t exactly a super memorable person. “Why are we sneaking in again?” Rio leaned over and asked Layla. It wasn’t like her hand wasn’t broken? Would the regular emergency room not work for them? But if Rio had learned anything over the last few months, it was that he was probably better off to just go along with the plans. Rio sighed, resigning himself to his fate and slinking towards the wheelchair, “I’ll push you. Jump in the wheelchair” 

Layla’s ears perked when the door opened and she heard an unfamiliar voice. Seeing Harsh, she moved closer. Without saying anything, she raised up the mangled paw before looking back to Rio, “I don’t have insurance or an ID. I’m basically nobody. It was either this place or some walk-in clinic in the shitty part of town.” She looked to the wheelchair. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world, and if it got her the help she needed then so be it. Of course, Layla had hated taking advantage of medical care that wasn’t technically free, but she had no choice. If her name came up in any systems, it might have sent red flags to places that didn’t need red flags popping up. It was already established, what she had done earlier in the night was dumb, so her name was floating around somewhere out there, but maybe it wouldn’t come back to bite her in the ass anytime soon. Finding a seat in the wheelchair, Layla, already pitiful enough as it was, slumped over a little more to add to the effect and to hide her face slightly.

Harsh gave Rio a quick nod. They might not have talked much the last time, but that hadn’t really been the ideal place to chat. He wasn’t entirely sure this was either. “It’s fine. You’re not the first person without insurance I’ve seen sneak in here. You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do. Follow me,” he said, motioning for Rio to follow along as he made his way down the hallway. This part of the hospital was mostly empty, darkened hallways stretching out on either side of them. “We usually just get deliveries here, no one’s gonna be poking around. So… can I ask what happened to your hand?” he asked, glancing back at Layla. Rounding the corner and heading down another hallway, he stopped at the third door on the left and lightly knocked before opening it. “Hey doc, got your patient here for you.” 

Orion supposed he couldn’t quite understand the situation she was in, but he didn’t need to. His family had never really needed a hospital, but if something had been serious enough they certainly could have afforded it. But it helped that his father was a doctor. He followed Harsh into the building, pushing Layla along the halls in a wheelchair and trying his best to make it look like they belonged there. He was fairly certain that he would not have fooled anybody. Luckily, they didn’t pass many people to begin with. Harsh asked Layla how she injured her hand and he followed along quietly. He knew the how but he wasn’t sure he completely understood the why. She had been honest with him about the information shared. Overly honest even, considering Rio’s own spotty past with the truth. It wasn’t his place to demand the entire story right now. Like why she was with the guy that had turned her. 

Layla kept her head down as they trailed through the halls of the hospital. The place had smelled like death. Her wolf senses had reassured her of that. She hated hospitals, and this had been the last place she wanted to be, but it was the best option. Hearing Harsh’s question, she debated on whether or not she should tell the truth, but what did that matter? It’s not like it was a matter of insurance not paying, when there was no insurance in the first place, “I punched a tree repeatedly because I was angry.” She was quiet. Embarrassed almost. Glancing down at her wounded hand, she wrapped her other one around almost tempted to squeeze it as tight as she could out of anger, but she refrained from doing it considering how bad it was already hurting and because Rio was literally right behind her pushing the wheelchair.

“Must have been a nasty tree. I’ve been there,” he said, offering a small smile as he held up his hand, showing off a few faded scars on his knuckles. “I broke three fingers punching through a wall once, it wasn’t pretty.” Harsh held the door to the room open and ushered them inside. The room was as sterile and unfriendly as the rest of the hospital, a timid man in scrubs standing next to the exam table, though he looked to relax a little bit upon seeing who he was treating. He moved to Layla’s side quick enough. 

“So you’re the patient? Pleased to meet you, I’m--” The man cut himself off, glancing at Harsh, who mouthed ‘no names’. His smile faltered for only a moment before the doctor turned his attention back to Layla. “I’m your doctor. Let me see your hand please.” 

Harsh moved to clap a hand on Rio’s shoulder, giving him a little sideways grin. “Small world, huh? I didn’t think I’d see you again so soon. Everything been… mime free for you?”

Orion felt weird, listening to them comparing self inflicted anger wounds. Was that normal? Was Rio… abnormal? He supposed that much should have been obvious by now. He had never exactly been a normal kid. Rio waved at the doctor awkwardly when they snuck in, noticing that the doctor didn’t introduce himself and definitely hadn’t asked for any other names. Right. No ID. This was all some kind of shady deal, but at least it was actually taking place in a hospital instead of like the alley behind a fast food joint or something. 

While the doctor got to work on Layla’s hand, Rio stared at the doctor as he worked. So when Harsh touched Rio’s shoulder Rio twitched in surprise. “Sorry. I’m uh- a little jumpy apparently.” He thought if he had been scared enough that would eventually go away. Apparently not. “Yeah, same here. But everything’s been okay. No more mime run-ins yet. How about you? Do you work here?”

She listened as Harsh explained his own wounds, even glancing to look at the faded scars. She had gotten angry in the past, but never enough to hurt herself, let alone to the point of breaking her hand. To say the past week had been hell was an understatement. She had made a lot of dumb decisions, but what hurt the most was the feeling in her heart knowing about Salva followed by the cherry on top of the wolf pack meeting and how it had left her feeling pretty alone and useless. The ideas they had. The information she had found out, and on top of that, the fact that Salva was there and had jumped on her with his words in front of everyone.

As she was wheeled into the room, she noticed the doctor come over and attempt to make an introduction before he was stopped. Slowly holding up her hand, she let the man inspect it, but let out a low growl when he started to get too close to it. It was already starting to feel cold and numb, and she knew that was a bad sign, but her trust was very low at the moment. If Layla had been smart, she would’ve let Ariana be in on this, because, for some reason, Ariana made her feel safe and like the world wasn’t out to get her, even though she was starting to value Rio’s friendship more than she could currently show.

Hearing the growl, the doctor jerked his hands back. “Alright, well, that definitely looks broken. I’ll get you a brace and something for the pain.” He turned around, busying himself with a few small drawers, fishing out the necessary supplies. A moment later, he turned back toward Layla, offering pills and a small plastic cup of water. “That should help. I don’t want to hurt you, but I do need to try to set your hand. I can get you some ice too, if that would help.”

Harsh nodded at Rio. “Yeah, I’m an orderly, but we’re always short staffed here, so sometimes I have to help out the nurses and doctors with other things. But yeah, I’ve been good, no mimes as far as I’ve seen. I’m glad you and the other guys are okay too. I still feel bad you all got dragged into checking that place out.” He gave Rio’s shoulder another little squeeze before turning his attention back toward Layla.

Moving to her side, he knelt down, bringing him closer to her level in the chair. “It’s a little tricky, but we could try to get you an x-ray. That’ll be harder to hide though. Do you think you’ll be okay with just the brace and the meds? Whatever you think is best, I’ll get it done, don’t worry.” 

Orion laughed, wondering how Harsh possibly felt like they had been dragged into that situation. “Don’t worry, Winston and Ricky don’t get dragged anywhere. They willingly choose to stroll into the dumb situations. It’s just me that gets dragged along.” Besides, it hadn’t been all bad right? Surely there had been something good that came out of breaking the law, trespassing and being attacked by some unknown monster? Surely. Rio just hadn’t looked at the brighter side. “But that’s awesome. I’m glad you’re safe too!”

“I think the brace and meds will probably be fine, yeah?” An x-ray was certainly more conspicuous, as Harsh warned. Plus, the thing was going to heal. And quickly, once it had been set back into place. “Here,” Rio offered his own hand to Layla, “Use your free hand to squeeze if there’s pain. It helps distract. You won’t hurt me.” That was probably a lie, given Layla’s strength. But it wasn’t a pain that he couldn’t tolerate. It would be over as quickly as it began most likely.

Layla looked up at the doctor and back to the pills that now sat in one hand and the cup of water just in the other. Taking the pills from his hand, she tossed them in her mouth and soon chased them with the water. Giving the cup back to him, she noticed as Harsh lowered down to meet her eye level. Hearing him explain everything, Layla’s mind raced. She had never been in this situation or had to make these decisions on her own. Her parents had always been with her. The day she broke her ankle at cheerleading practice. The time she had to get stitches after falling off of a slide when she was a little girl. However, it didn’t sit well with her having Rio speak for her, and she growled at him, too. But as she looked back to Harsh, she finally accepted the doctor’s suggestion not wanting to get anyone into more trouble than they were already potentially in, “Just do whatever you think is right. I don’t care.”

Layla noticed Rio’s hand nearby. She had felt bad for growling at him, but didn’t feel the urge to apologize. Instead, she took his hand and gripped it knowing that what was about to come next was going to hurt a lot. She had just hoped the medicine would start kicking in sooner rather than later.

Great, his choice. Harsh wasn’t the best for that. He exchanged a brief look with the doctor before shifting on the spot a little. “I think the brace should do it, but you’ve gotta let the doctor touch your hand enough to figure out where things are so he can try to get them back in place before he gets the brace on. Hang on, let me grab you ice to hold for a second first,” he said as he straightened up and moved to a small, refrigerated cupboard. Pulling out a bag of ice, he handed it to Layla. “Hold onto that for a minute then let the doctor do his thing.”

The doctor tentatively shifted closer, brace ready in one hand. “Those painkillers should kick in soon. They’re… a little strong, but that seemed necessary. Once we’re done here, I’ll make sure to get you more.”

Harsh was doing his best to help Layla out, but clearly the pain was getting to her. Growling wouldn’t have been Orion’s top suggestion in a room of people she didn’t know, but of course this wasn’t his life. Layla could make her own choices, something that Rio needed to learn. Especially after the incident with Skylar. “Thanks for your help with this.” Rio spoke to Harsh again, acknowledging that the situation was a bit… delicate. “I uh- well I was just the uber today but I appreciate you helping out. Especially like… quietly.” 

But even with the help from this… doctor, Rio was still worried. Or well, if this man even was a doctor. He worked at the hospital, but Rio wasn’t convinced he was old enough to hold any medical license. As long as he could fix Layla’s hand, it didn’t really matter what his credentials were. But Layla seemed to be in worse shape than just a physical wound. Something was hurting her. And just at that moment, Rio could tell that the doctor had gotten started, because suddenly force clamped down on his wrist and he was hurting.

Layla did as Harsh and the doctor instructed, but her grip on the ice was limited and it had brought tears to her eyes as she tried not to make a sound. She wanted to stay quiet. Keep things private. And she didn’t want to draw attention to the room, but as soon as the doctor began feeling her hand, Layla whimpered in pain. Her grip was weak in that hand, and before long, she could barely hold the ice anymore. Letting go, the bag fell to the floor with a thud, but her hand was still held up for inspection as it shook with weakness. It was her grip on Rio that she gave no second thoughts about it, and if she didn’t let up, she might not have been the only one walking out with a cast.

Whimpering, she looked away not wanting to see what came next. If bones were going to be forced back into place, she knew she was probably going to let out more than just a few hushed moans, but she did feel the medicine start to work a little, mostly as she seemed to not be as sad as she once was, “Rio…” Looking up to meet his eyes, she stared into them with her own sad, little wolf eyes looking for some distraction or something to keep her from thinking about the crack she was soon going to hear.

Even Harsh couldn’t hold back a wince as the doctor did his best to carefully maneuver the broken bones back into their proper place. It might not be perfect, without an x-ray, it would be hard to be precise, but the guy seemed to have a good idea of what he was doing at least. Harsh stayed close, one hand going to Layla’s shoulder. “You’re gonna be fine. I can throw on some music or something, if that would help. This shouldn’t take long,” he said, with a brief glance up at the doctor to confirm. He got a brief nod in return as the doctor continued. 

It didn’t seem like a pleasant feeling, that was for sure. Layla whined in protest but she was staying relatively still and letting the doctor continue his work. Harsh offered to turn on music, which was a good idea. Any kind of distraction could help. Even if it didn’t completely stop the pain it could work to ease it. “Try some deep breaths. Focus on the music. Make your own music video!” Orion got a little too excited on that one maybe, but they needed to stay positive around Layla right now. It would help. “Or uh- you know anything. Try to imagine a story and it’ll be over soon. Promise.” At least he hoped, assuming that this man actually knew what he was doing and was helping her hand. He glanced over at Harsh, wondering exactly why he was helping Layla in the first place. Was she paying him? How did they even know each other? “So how’d you get roped into this? Rio asked Harsh curiously.

The young wolf tried to stay focused on Harsh and Orion, but the pain of having her bones shoved back into place made her yelp louder than she had wanted. Closing her eyes, she tried to fight the tears, but couldn’t as they began staining her fair, but flushed, cheeks. “Music. Put on music. Please. Anything.” Layla tightened her grip on Rio’s hand and left her eyes tightly shut for the time being. She just wanted it all to be over with. The grinding she felt and the immediate pain left her squirming. Why had she punched a tree? Why had she been so stupid and punched a tree the way she had punched Salva? Anger. Her anger had gotten the better of her yet again. Burying her face into her shoulder, she let out a small scream of pain and frustration.

“You got it.” Harsh moved to fiddle with a small bluetooth speaker on the counter, putting on some upbeat music. “Let me know if you want me to change it or anything.” At least this part of the hospital was empty enough that the music probably wouldn’t be overheard by anyone. He winced in sympathy before turning his attention back to Rio. “She was asking for help and I could offer it, so… I did,” he said, with a little shrug. That was all there was to it, well… all either of them needed to know. The whole soul and vampire thing weren’t important right now.

After a few likely excruciating moments, the doctor let out a breath and fumbled for the brace, quickly fixing it into place. “There, that should do it. You’ll have to wear that for a few weeks. If there’s any problems, uh… contact Harsh and he’ll get in touch with me and I’ll see what I can do. I’ll um… I’ll have him write you up a prescription for more pain meds if you run out of these,” he said, offering a small bottle of pills.

“Wow. Well that was super nice of you. To help a stranger.” Orion smiled towards Harsh. He had helped the three of them at the mime restaurant too, despite only knowing Winston prior to meeting up. And now he was helping Layla out too. “You seem like a really good person, so I really appreciate your help over the last few weeks.” 

When the doctor was finished and the cast was on, Rio could finally relax. The pain in his arm had been intense, and he wasn’t convinced she hadn’t cracked a bone or something in his wrist. But even if that were the case, it would heal. Just like her own wrist, which almost made Rio want to laugh when the doctor told her how long she’d have to wear the cast. “Thanks Mr. Doctor.” Rio thanked the doctor that had helped Layla before turning to her, “You doing okay? Does the hand feel any better?”

With the music giving her something to focus on, Layla was able to relax some and relax her grip on Rio’s hand. And by the time the doctor had fit the brace onto her arm, the medicine was already in full swing, “Is it red? Cause I loooovvveeee the color red, but like I totally can’t see certain colors anymore, because of reasons.” She held her arm up and examined it, before taking the bottle of pills and shaking them. Turning her attention to Rio, she grinned before looking back to Harsh and the doctor, “You guys are great, you know that? You get a howl of approval.” An unexpected howl came from Layla’s mouth, before shaking the bottle again. However, Rio’s question had caught her attention, “I’m doing great, Star Boy.” Shoving her arm in his face, she posed an important question, “Wanna sign it?” She looked back to Harsh and the doctor, “You both can sign it too.”

“I just do what I can,” Harsh said, with a little grin, rubbing the back of his neck almost sheepishly. There was something nice about Rio’s praise… as unwarranted as it might have actually been. Still, he was doing a good thing here. What did it matter if his motives weren’t totally pure? That wasn’t the point. He found himself grinning a little as the pain pill’s effects started to kick in. Well, at least she seemed a lot happier. That… wouldn’t last, but it was nice to see her smiling a little. The howl was a little odd, but… probably better to ask about that another time. 

The doctor nodded to Rio and then laughed a little awkwardly at Layla’s question. “Maybe another time. Just try not to do anything too strenuous while it’s healing. Well, I think that’s all. Harsh will see you out,” he said, already making his exit. 

Harsh moved to Layla’s side, lightly patting her shoulder. “You might want to let people sign it tomorrow. For tonight, just get some rest, okay? I’ll walk you to the door and Rio’ll make sure you get home safe, right?” 

The pain meds had kicked in, which Orion would have considered a good thing aside from the howl. Rio sighed, smiling despite the stress that she was causing him. It was good to see that she was better, even if it was only temporary. But she really needed to work on keeping the werewolf thing a secret. “Uh thanks. Nice nickname.” He laughed, scratching at the back of his neck awkwardly. He actually sorta liked it, if he was being honest. 

Rio followed Harsh out of the room and back out the back door, trying to help guide Layla as they walked. “Good idea. We can sign it tomorrow or something. Once you get some rest.” He didn’t know if they just left now or what. Did they owe Harsh money? Or some favor or something? Maybe it was best to let Layla handle it herself. Preferably once she was more lucid. “Okay, welp thanks again Harsh. Layla, let’s get you home.”

Layla couldn’t stop grinning from ear-to-ear. She had felt so good. She couldn’t wait to be home to Ariana. But first, she had to get home. Taking their advice, she lowered her arm and held it close to baby it.

Once everyone had parted ways, she made sure to follow Rio closely. The car ride home was another story. One that involved Layla hanging her head out the window and letting the cool night air hit her in the face, but it was nice. Everything just seemed so nice. Waking up in the morning, once the medicine had worn off, would be a different story, but for now, she’d enjoy her false sense of happiness.

[lully-jo]

Final Fantasy VII: The Theme of Life [Part 1]

My introduction to Final Fantasy was with VII* in my freshman year of High School. Though the graphics did not age well (and have aged like milk with each passing year) the storytelling was so compelling and immersive that it carried the game into the hands of future generations who had become so accustomed to high resolution gameplay complete with voice acting and flashy action sequences. From the opening cutscene to the closing epilogue, I found myself thrust into a world that became more and more familiar as I explored every city and village and spoke with the townsfolk and learned about every party member’s backstory. These were people and places that I somehow knew. This was a fantasy that mirrored a reality that I and everyone around me was already living, and rather than being a pessimistic take on capitalism and classism and the destruction of the planet, there remained a glimmer of hope to inspire players when they turned the game off.

Interestingly, with the remake coming within the next year, it seems the themes of VII have only become increasingly relevant. Normally, I would be excited to see a new generation of players pick up this legendary masterpiece of RPG gaming and find within it the meaningful questions regarding humanity and its place in the universe, but I have reason for concern even with the mere teasers being released in preparation for this year’s E3. I want to take this opportunity to express just why VII is considered so legendary and masterful so that those who will enter the world of Cloud and company through the remake will know where the story started and what made it worth re-introducing to the new generation of gamers in the first place.

*I should probably make it clear that I only played VII because I instantly fell in love with Cloud’s character in the first Kingdom Hearts game which I played in middle school.

Be prepared for spoilers under the cut, but I’d be surprised if you’ve gone this long without learning about much of VII’s story. 

Storytelling: The World is Much Bigger Than You

One of the greatest methods in which VII expresses the grandness of the universe is in the simple method by which the story begins. The player is immediately thrust into a bombing mission as Cloud Strife, a 21-year-old mercenary who has been hired by AVALANCHE, a terrorist, anti-SHINra organization. The goal is simple: The planet is dying and big business is what's killing it. Therefore, cripple the company by destroying their methods of production. Immediately, the story is set in a world very much like our own; big business has all the real power, the wealthy live in luxury at the cost of the poor suffering and the planet’s ecosystem and essentially lifeblood is sucked up dry.

Without much further thought, Cloud continues along with Barret, Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie towards the center of one of SHINra’s reactors, killing any SHINra soldier along the way with little remorse. Again, at this point, the mission is simple. Once you reach the reactor, there is a short scene where Cloud collapses and we get a small piece of foreshadowing into our major plotpoint: there’s something else going on here. After detonating the bomb, Cloud and company return to Tifa’s bar, 7th Heaven--the HQ of AVALANCHE. There are arguments, as Cloud seems to be a mere bystander taking advantage of Barret’s need for insider information (Cloud was a 1st Class SOLDIER under SHINra before he became the mercenary he is at the start of the game) rather than someone who genuinely cares about the well-being of the planet. Eventually, Tifa and Cloud reminisce a scene together of a promise they made as children in their hometown; Cloud left Nibelheim in order to become a 1st Class SOLDIER, just like his hero, Sephiroth. If memory serves me right, this is our first introduction to Sephiroth.

Later, there is another bombing mission (Cloud has agreed to help again, but at a price) at it doesn’t go as planned. After a battle gone wrong, Cloud falls from the plate and lands in Aerith’s church. He had already met this girl once, but this time he gets a proper introduction to her and learns that SHINra has been keeping an eye on her since she was very small. This is another indicator that there is more going on to this story than players initially assumed; what else is SHINra up to? Why hunt this girl from childhood? She seems close with the Lifestream somehow--she can speak with souls that have passed on and simply knows when someone has died as though she’d been beside them when it happened.

As Cloud continues on with Aerith and learns more about her and is able to introduce her to Tifa and Barret, there eventually comes disaster; SHINra is about to drop one of the Sectors of the plate that hangs over the slums of Midgar, which will result in the deaths of thousands. Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie are already attempting to counter SHINra and their Turks (a special unit that SHINra sends out to do their dirty work and whom have been hunting Aerith since childhood), but they are easily overtaken. Aerith is kidnapped by the Turks in exchange for keeping Marlene, Barret’s adopted daughter, safe from harm, and though Cloud, Tifa, and Barret make an escape, the self-destruct button is pushed by Reno and the plate comes crumbling down. SHINra places the blame on AVALANCHE and thousands of innocent people are killed.

It is in this moment that we see Tifa and Barret now asking themselves if their methods of protest were worth it. If they had done the right thing and if all those deaths were, in fact, their fault. This is the beginnings of VII showing a recurring theme in the game; how do my actions affect everyone else in this world?

After a moment of grief and finding Marlene safe in the hands of Aerith’s adopted mother, Cloud and company decide to break into the SHINra building to rescue Aerith. On their way to the top floor, they discover a few hints at other projects SHINra has been working on and see into Hojo’s laboratory where he was keeping Aerith and what he calls Red XIII (otherwise and from here on out known as Nanaki), a wolf-like creature with fiery-red fur and a flame at the end of his tail. Hojo attempts to force them to mate, explaining that Aerith is the last survivor of a race called Ancients who can speak and connect with the Lifestream. The gang rescues Aerith, Nanaki joins your party (he can talk!) and then you are captured as you try to make your escape. What happens overnight is what changes the  name of the game from then on out.

After a short night’s rest, Cloud wakes up to find his cell door open and blood streaked across the floor. SHINra soldiers have been killed and the blood continues up towards the top floor of the building. When Cloud and company arrive at President Shinra’s office, he is dead--impaled with a sword. It is Cloud who identifies it as Sephiroth’s sword and now the player and all the characters are met with the realization that there is something else much deeper and much bigger going on than they had previously imagined. This storytelling method is continued through every interaction until it isn’t just a question of who the immediate bad guy is, but the implications of how every person can be the bad guy in some way and also how nature will always take everything back.

Though it took me a while to get here, the opening of VII is truly masterful in its buildup towards the actual meat of the story it attempts to tell. The focus is on Cloud and his small group and their very centered goals and eventually, through subtle foreshadowing and character dialogue, the scope of the story grows and grows until it’s no longer the question of one’s place in society, but one’s place in the universe. I find it so poignant how extremism is shown to be dangerous on either end of the spectrum, and just how dangerous is shown as you progress through the story and are made to think about the world on a much grander scale than yourself. As I stated before, the greatest power by the end of the game is the planet itself; Nature will always take everything back.

This method of storytelling allows players to learn along with the characters. It allows us to be part of the party without dumbing down characters in a way that doesn’t make sense within the canon. Not only this, but it takes the characters very seriously within their environments and their objectives. It builds them up only to make them question if their motives are justified. In the grand scheme of things, was setting off explosives to get back at a government entity good for everyone? Innocent people were killed in those explosions, and that’s not just including the dropping of the plate over the slums by SHINra. AVALANCHE sacrificed innocent lives as they battled with SHINra as a corporate entity. Were those deaths justified?

The slow yet action-packed buildup towards the meat of the VII’s story was purposeful, well executed, and honestly the best way to open this story. From a quick glance at the FFVII tag after the reveal of the new trailer, some fans seem to be speculating that the dark shadows that fighten Aerith are perhaps new foreshadowing into the remnants affiliated with Sephiroth and REUNION. I fear that trying to force too much early foreshadowing will cheapen what was already a beautiful story-telling method. Part of what made those remnants such a shock later on in the story was our sudden introduction to them. Bringing them in earlier in the gameplay seems completely unnecessary and like it will hurt the return to Nibelheim scene and the eerie feeling the player is supposed to be struck with when they enter the town. Not to mention, Aerith’s reaction was wholly unlike her and contradicts what made her such a complex character that broke the trope of petite-princess-girl-need-protection.

I’ll get into the details of characters in another part. This has already gotten long-winded enough and there’s still so much I’d like to discuss.

[ohfreckle]

Fic: Hungry Like The Wolf (Malec; Explicit)

Have some porn with feelings after the clusterfuck of the past few days.

This is set shortly after with bones unbuttoned, after the end of the season 2, but it can be read as a standalone fic. My apologies to Mr. Rey, but this is what you get for making Magnus look so sad in the trailer.

Also known as the Alec Lightwood was born to be fucked fic so many of you requested.

AO3

Pandemonium is a cacophony of noise and light, a clash of worlds that still makes Alec’s head spin. He leans back into the VIP booth and smiles when there’s immediately a warm weight settling against his side.

"Ah, how I’ve missed this." Magnus heaves a content sigh and takes a sip of his martini. He offers the drink to Alec, lifting the glass against his lips and Alec makes sure to place them exactly over the faint trace of lipgloss on the rim. He grimaces a little at how strong the drink is, but the way Magnus’s eyes are darkening is worth the awful taste.

He’s glad they came here tonight. Magnus has spent over a week in a gloomy mood, getting quieter with every passing day. Alec can tell, because if the sudden style makeover wasn’t a dead giveaway (not that he minds all that black leather), the fake smiles Magnus gives him every time he asks what’s wrong definitely is. It’s like the whole disaster with the agony rune all over again. Alec wants to call him out on his bullshit and hypocrisy - talk about when things get bad, don’t push me away - but he can tell Magnus needs time until he’s ready to talk. So all that’s left for Alec is to try and distract him from his worries.

"You’re enjoying yourself?" Alec asks and leans in for a kiss. They’re alone in what he privately likes to think of as Magnus’s throne. Nobody hardly ever bothers them when he’s here with Magnus. Sometimes people approach Magnus for a quick word, mostly warlock business, but they beat a hasty retreat as soon as courtesy allows. Magnus keeps teasing him it’s because they are afraid of his powerful Shadowhunter boyfriend, but Alec thinks they simply don’t trust him. It bothers him to a degree, but the good thing that comes with having the booth all for themselves is that it feels almost intimate, even with all the people dancing and laughing around them.

"I’m with you, in one of my favorite places, Alexander, of course I’m enjoying myself," Magnus smiles. This one is genuine, soft and happy, and before Alec can even think it about he’s leaning in again.

Warmth pools in his belly at how easily Magnus opens for him at the first push of his tongue, welcoming him with a throaty groan, and just like that it’s hot and filthy from the moment their mouths slot together. Alec curves one hand around Magnus’s cheek, tilting his head until he can lick into him with deep strokes, his other hand tightening on the inside of Magnus’s thigh. Magnus is pushing himself even closer, ends up half in Alec’s lap with both hands fisted in Alec’s hair, sucking on his tongue in time with the deep beat surrounding them. Fuck, just one kiss and Alec feels the familiar tug of arousal in his gut. But then, with Magnus it’s never just a kiss.

"Maybe we should take this back to the loft, unless you want to give people even more of a show," Magnus breathes when they finally break apart for air, immediately belying his words by chasing after Alec’s lips. His pupils are blown wide, his lipgloss smeared, and it takes every ounce of self-control Alec has not to take him up on the offer. Tonight is about Magnus and Alec showing him that he cares.

"Let them watch. Makes staking my claim a lot easier," Alec smirks. "We still need to dance, and I want everyone to know you’re mine." He takes a deep breath to calm himself before he stands and extends a hand.

Magnus’s eyes widen with surprise and flick up to study Alec’s face, crinkling a little at the corners with a private smile when he takes Alec’s hand and stands with feline grace.

Yeah, Alec’s got this.

The dance floor is packed, but the mass of moving bodies parts easily for them. They move together with the familiarity of two bodies that know each other intimately. Thanks to Izzy Alec isn’t a complete disaster on the dance floor, but Magnus moves with the sinuous grace of dancer, quick feet and rolling hips, as if he was born for it.

It’s utterly compelling, and Alec isn’t the only one who can’t take his eyes from him. He can feel the stares of the people dancing next to them. Some curious, some outright greedy, and God, he can’t blame them because Magnus’s outfit leaves nothing to the imagination. Tight black leather pants accentuate the plump outline of his cock, his black shirt so sheer Alec can see his nipples pebbling with the attention he’s drawing, pressing tantalizingly against the soft fabric.

"Fuck, Magnus, you’re the hottest thing in this club," Alec says on a rush of breath, itching to rub his thumbs over the hard peaks.

"Only in the club? Alexander, am I losing my touch?" Magnus is all wide eyes and innocence, belied by the way he’s pressing against Alec’s front, shamelessly dragging his cock against Alec’s with a languid roll of his hips.

"My whole world," Alec says, circling his arms loosely around Magnus’s neck. It doesn’t feel weird anymore to say these things out loud instead of bottling them up in his head. The quiet joy that lights up Magnus’s eyes is more than worth any lingering doubts if this still counts as talking about his feelings or crosses the line to gross sappiness. Not that Magnus would mind, Alec is still figuring out just how wide his romantic streak really is.

His reward is a hard, fast kiss that leaves him reeling and stumbling a little when Magnus spins him around, fitting himself against Alec’s back. It’s easy to lose himself like this, one of Magnus’s hands curled around his hip, the other rucking up his shirt, Magnus’s fingers splayed over his belly like a hot brand.

Alec can’t remember how he ever lived without being surrounded by Magnus. It’s like he’s living his life in monochrome when Magnus isn’t there. He blindly angles his back against Magnus’s shoulder, searching for his lips. They rock together slowly, ignoring the hard bass that’s shaking the air, trading lazy kisses, a promise of things to come.

Alec is drunk on Magnus and anticipation when their little bubble bursts. He feels Magnus stiffen against his back, his hips slowing to a barely there grind and the hand on his stomach splaying even wider. Alec squirms and opens his eyes reluctantly, about to complain about the lack of kisses when he notices the man dancing a little too close in front of them.

He’s handsome enough, Alec guesses. He doesn’t really think about other men’s looks; he’s got all he needs right behind him. The guy looks a little older than Magnus, his slicked back hair and black slacks and shirt giving him a stark, severe appearance despite the smile that’s curling his lips. He’s powerful, a warlock without a doubt; Alec can sense the magic swirling under his polished appearance.

"You know this guy, Magnus?" He cranes his head back to look at Magnus, alarm settling in at the hard set of Magnus’s jaw.

"Unfortunately I do," Magnus says, his voice so cold and clipped Alec barely recognizes it. "Mr. Rey, I believe I already told you that you’re not welcome here. Not in this city and not in this club."

"All this time gone by and you’re still a sore loser, Bane," the guy—Rey tuts, his face twisting into a sneer. "Last time I checked this was a free country and this club open to all paying customers. Which I assure you I did, and I’ll do even more than that and extend my more than generous offer."

It’s the strangest thing. Rey and Magnus look so alike with their dark beard and hair, dressed all in black, but they couldn’t be more different. Magnus is kind, compassionate and sensual, while everything about Rey is harsh and forbidding.

Behind Alec Magnus sucks in a harsh breath and goes completely still.

"Leave! I won’t repeat myself."

Alec feels Magnus trembling with anger. He hates it, but he’s hesitant to interfere as long as he has no idea what is going on between the two men. Magnus’s hand on his stomach is still a warm weight holding him in place, the tips of his fingers tucked into the waistband of his jeans, a sure sign he isn’t expecting a fight.

"Ah, but why don’t we let this delectable young man decide if he wants me to leave?" Rey smirks at Alec, eyeing him with blatant interest. "Maybe he’d like a chance to experience what a real man can do for him."

Alec almost physically recoils at the man’s audacity. Cold fury settles in his gut, mostly because of the cruel taunt against Magnus but also because he feels filthy with Rey’s eyes raking over him like that, and only Magnus’s lips brushing his jaw with a whispered No is keeping him back from planting his fist in Rey’s face. It doesn’t take a lot for Alec to put two and two together and recognize the reason for Magnus’s subdued mood lately is standing right in front of him, and that is really pissing him off.

Alec sweeps his eyes over Rey’s body. He doesn’t even have to try to keep it cool and detached, rising a brow when he meets Rey’s gaze. "Believe me, I’m all for real men, but where do you come into play here?"

Against his back Alec can feel Magnus relax a bit, warmth spreading in his chest at the low chuckle that Magnus hides against his cheek.

"Thanks for the offer, man, but I’m good," Alex says, twisting his arm back to draw Magnus into an open-mouthed kiss. There’s no need to pretend just how much it affects him, one slick swipe of Magnus’s tongue is enough to make him shudder. "I’m more than good." Alec covers Magnus’s hand that’s still resting against his lower stomach with his own and pushes both under the waistband of his pants, arching his spine with a groan when Magnus’s fingers graze his pubic hair. "God, I’m fanfuckingtastic."

"Mmmh, that you are," Magnus murmurs, a low purr against Alec’s lips.

He crowds closer, his hips snug against Alec’s ass sending a lick of desire shooting up Alec’s back. Alec exhales harshly, a feeble attempt to clear the haze of arousal from his head. Fuck, he’s hard, the low simmer of want he’s felt all night burning brighter with every slow drag of Magnus’s fingertips rubbing circles against the base of his naked cock.

He should tell Magnus to stop, but it’s his own hand that keeps pushing Magnus’s lower between his legs in the hot confines of his jeans. Rey is shielding them from most of the curious stares, but it’s not the other guests Alec is concerned about. Everyone can watch Magnus make him come in his pants for all he cares, he’s too far gone to think about that right now, but like hell he’s giving that privilege to the prick in front of him.

"Go," Alec grits out. "There’s nothing here for you." Dragging up the strength to still their hands takes tremendous effort, but he somehow manages and straightens to his full height.

"Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong, young Shadowhunter," Rey smiles, as if they’re simply having a nice chat. "I will take Bane’s title, it’s just a matter of time, and maybe then you’ll reconsider what I have to offer. There’s not that much to him once you strip away what little power he has."

Killing demons aside Alec doesn’t consider himself a violent person, but right now his hands are itching for his bow, a blade, just anything to wipe that condescending smile from Rey’s face.

But Magnus is already stepping up to Rey, and suddenly the air around them is choking with magic. Alec knows Magnus is more than capable to fight his own battles, but seeing it is always something else entirely. Magnus’s strength is quiet and commanding, so different from Alec’s own more physical force, but no less threatening.

"This is my city," Magnus says, low and hard, his head held high, face carefully blank. His eyes turn molten gold, blue sparks dancing over the rings on his fingers. "My title and my lover, and I do not share."

Magnus slides his hand into Alec‘s and leads him from the dance floor without looking back. Rey doesn't follow them, but Alec is sure they haven't seen the last of him.

Alec follows Magnus through a brightly lit corridor he‘s never seen. He tries to clear the fog of arousal that‘s lingering in his limbs, but it‘s no use, he‘s still desperately hard. Watching Magnus take Rey down a notch made sure of that.

"Wait! Am I getting this right? Rey is a warlock, and he’s aiming for High Warlock of Brooklyn?"

"He's made his intentions clear to challenge me as High Warlock, yes," Magnus says, his hand tightening around Alec‘s. "And he‘s ambitious. He intends to become the High Warlock of New York, which would make me and my position superfluous."

"But you're not gonna let him, you're Magnus fucking Bane," Alec says, utterly taken aback by this revelation and even more at Magnus‘s careful aplomb. "You‘re the best warlock in the whole city, one of the best in the world. You‘re not superfluous."

The thought is ludicrous. What isn’t is that Magnus seems to believe it.

"Thank you, Alexander, your faith in me is most welcome," Magnus says. Alec hates the slight catch in his voice. "But Rey and I have crossed paths often enough for me to know that he is exceptionally skilled, and I'm afraid the Warlock Council is aware of that fact, as well."

"But he's not the best," Alec insists. He stops walking and tugs Magnus back to him, turning them around until he can push Magnus against the wall. "You are the best."

Alec braces himself against the wall, caging Magnus in. He keeps his voice low, trying to convey the absolute truth in his words. "The best warlock." He presses a chaste kiss against Magnus's lips, swallowing his gasp, and presses their foreheads together. "The best lover and partner I could ever want. Rey doesn’t come even close to you, and we’re going to prove that."

"Alexander—" For once it‘s Magnus who's fumbling words.

Good. Alec hopes it means he got through to him.

"Tell the Council the Head of the New York Institute won't work with him."

Magnus’s lips part in that achingly familiar expression of surprise, as if he can’t quite wrap his head around the fact that Alec would stand up for him without hesitation. He searches Alec’s eyes for a long moment, exhaling hard when he seems to find what he’s looking for, his lips finally quirking up at the corners.

"Revolution against the Clave and the Warlock Council? Alexander, I'm impressed."

Magnus surges against him for a kiss. Alec can feel him smile against his lips, and his heart thuds faster with the knowledge that he was able to lessen the weight of this burden on Magnus’s shoulders, even if it‘s only for tonight. They‘ll figure this out. Together.

"Want me to impress you some more?" he asks, rocking against Magnus's hips. Just once, acknowledging the heated tension between them that’s never completely subsided.

"An almost impossible feat, seeing that I am already thoroughly impressed," Magnus hums, looking at him from beneath his lashes with the playfulness that has become so familiar to Alec. He wiggles a hand between their bodies and cups Alec’s cock.

Pleasure licks fire up Alec’s spine, a sharp reminder that he’s been hovering on the edge of coming just a few minutes ago. It won’t take much to get him there again.

"Then why don’t you impress me?" he groans, grinding against Magnus’s palm. "Show me what a real man can do for me?"

Somehow they make it to end of the corridor and up a short flight of stairs without injury, unable to stop kissing until they tumble through a door with Magnus’s shirt unbuttoned and Alec’s lost somewhere on the way.

"Welcome to my office," Magnus declares with a little flourish that would look a lot more elegant if he weren’t gasping for breath and struggling to unzip his pants with his other hand. "Not that I use it often. I'm not much of an office person."

Alec casts a quick look around. The room is huge but almost empty. A sleek glass desk and two chairs take up one half of the room, the other is dominated by a sitting area with several black leather sofas. It looks like pretty much every other office Alec’s ever seen, reflecting surprisingly little of Magnus’s personality. What sets it apart is the large wall of glass that allows a stunning view of the club, the bright lights from down below illuminating the otherwise dark room.

Alec couldn’t care less about the view. All he knows is the already-hot thrum in his blood, the overwhelming need to touch and taste and fuck.

"Shut up and let me suck your cock," Alec rasps, pleased that it comes out smoothly. He‘s still fumbling his way through adequately expressing his feelings most of the time, but at least he‘s got the sex thing right down. This is as easy as breathing. He‘s always been comfortable with his body, and he thinks—or hopes—that Magnus understands what he tries to say with his body whenever words fail him.

Magnus’s lips part and his eyes darken before they suddenly turn liquid gold. Within seconds the mood shifts from heated to scorching hot, the urgency that's crackling between them allowing no further delay.

"Is that how it’s going to be? Well then, make me, Alexander. Show me what you've got," Magnus says, a silky purr that sends Alec’s heart racing.

Magnus slinks over to the glass wall and leans back against it, the insolent arch of his back a dare, beckoning Alec closer with a slow smile. He reminds Alec of a panther, shrouded entirely in black, sleek, graceful and dangerous; so, so gorgeous and untouchable. But Alec is allowed to touch, Magnus wants him to, and he couldn't resist even if he tried.

Alec drinks him in and reaches out for Magnus as soon as he's close enough to touch, trailing his fingers over the skin of Magnus’s exposed chest, ducking down to follow the path with his mouth. A quick swipe of his tongue over a nipple draws a hiss from Magnus, one of his hands sliding into Alec’s hair to keep him in place. Alec lets it guide him, sucking and licking both nipples into hard peaks, unable to stop the soft moans spilling from his throat.

God, he loves the contrast of soft skin and hard muscle under his tongue. With all the flamboyant clothes and make-up it’s easy to assume that all that Magnus has going on is magical tricks, Alec himself fell into that trap early on. But underneath those layers of soft fabric is the hard, muscular body of a fighter, strong and unmistakably male.

"I love how you taste," Alec breathes, dragging the flat of his tongue over a nipple, teasing a sharp exhale from Magnus. It turns into a groan when Alec bites down, the grip on his hair tightening and leading him up, over Magnus’s clavicle and neck to his shoulders. Alec follows the meandering path with lips, teeth, and tongue, stroking his hands up Magnus’s arms until he can brush the shirt from his shoulders and bite more kisses in the hard muscle he finds there.

"You’re greedy tonight." Magnus is breathing hard, his fingers scratching against Alec’s scalp, pulling him back and up into a hard, demanding kiss.

“Always for you," Alec gets out between kisses that get more heated and messy with every second. He licks into Magnus’s mouth, prying him open with lips and tongue as if he can somehow pass everything else he wants to say if he just kisses Magnus deep enough: I’ll always choose you. I love you. I won't let this guy mess with us.

"Show me."

It’s not a request. Alec slides down to his knees, following the sharp tug on his hair and the hand on his shoulder without even thinking about it. Neither of them is shy about voicing what they want in bed, but it’s rare for Magnus to be forceful about it. It’s usually Alec who gets this demanding, his training and natural inclination to take charge bleeding into the bedroom to their mutual enjoyment. But Alec gets it, the need to assert dominance after being shaken up and having one’s worth questioned; he’s done it enough times himself.

He presses an open-mouthed kiss against the smooth skin of Magnus’s belly, tongue flicking out to taste him as he kisses lower. Magnus’s taste is stronger here, sweat and ozone, familiar and exciting. Dragging his teeth and lips over Magnus’s stomach, Alec sucks a bruise into the soft stretch of skin right above Magnus’s unbuckled belt.

“God, yes, Alexander,” Magnus breathes, the muscles in his stomach jumping under Alec’s lips. His hand on Alec’s shoulder slides around to Alec’s neck, stroking the short hair there, keeping him firmly in place. "Don't tease."

Alec doesn’t mean to, but it’s hard not to get lost in Magnus. Parting his open fly and tugging his pants down to his hips reveals not only the tip of his cock, already slick at the head, but also a slim golden chain looped around Magnus’s hips, the drop-shaped ruby dangling from the middle partly concealed by his cock.

"Fuck, Magnus,” Alec says, barely more than a cracked whisper. That thick cock slicking the delicate chain and gem, everything framed by black leather, is obscene. So gorgeous Alec can't help but surge forward and curl his tongue around the head, lapping at the precome pooling in the slit. He groans at the bitter taste exploding on his tongue, something he's come to crave in just a few months.

"Yes, yes, darling, take it.” Magnus’s voice is a hoarse rasp that curls around Alec’s spine like a physical touch. Gentle pressure coaxes him deeper, and he slides his lips over the head, sucking hard once before he slides down until it hits the back of his throat.

He can’t take Magnus down his throat, a skill he hasn't mastered yet. Instead, Alec uses his hand to cover the base of Magnus’s cock as he sucks him hard and fast, and this is good, too, the dry, soft skin moving against his palm. He loves the heavy girth of Magnus's cock stretching his lips, fire heating up his skin from within with every fresh spill of precome that’s coating his tongue.

God, he wants that cock inside him.

Alec can barely breathe past the cock in his mouth and the hot coil of anticipation in his gut. He pulls off with a wet gasp, sucking in deep lungfuls of air before he takes Magnus in again in a wet and sloppy slide.

Above him Magnus chokes out a soft, pained sound that causes Alec to flick up his eyes to him. It’s almost his undoing. Magnus looks wrecked, his mouth open around a ragged breath, his eyes slits of gold under heavy lids, his gaze on Alec a near-physical thing.

"Easy, I don’t want to come yet,” Magnus murmurs, gently prying Alec’s fingers from his cock and replacing them with his own. He pulls out, tapping Alec’s lips with the slick-hot tip of his cock before he pushes back inside, feeding Alec just the head, in and out, again and again. "Fuck, Alec, you were made for this."

A new kind of hunger unfurls in Alec’s chest, hot and urgent. He presses the heel of his hand hard against his cock, eyes slipping closed, but the discomfort makes him throb only harder, can’t erase the sensation of being used for Magnus’s pleasure.

Alec sucks gently, tonguing under the crown and teasing the slit, rolling his tongue around the smooth, velvety head. He’s wound so tight he could come like this, without a single touch, just surrounded by Magnus’s taste and smell, but they both aren’t ready for tonight to end.

"Fuck me," he gasps when Magnus pulls out again. "Fuck me… Magnus, I need it…"

Magnus whole body tenses for a second before he relaxes back against the window, stretched into a sinuous arch of pure temptation. He works his cock with lazy twists of his fist, eyes slitted with pleasure.

"And you want it here, where anybody who happens to look up can see us?"

Alec doesn’t bother holding back the moan that rips from his throat. He’s aware that it’s too dark in the room for anyone to see them, but just the thought that people could have watched them all this time, that Magnus could push his cock inside of him and everybody—fuck, that Rey could see them, sends fire skittering over his skin.

They end up on the couch, almost tripping as they struggle to undress each other without breaking their kiss. Magnus sits down heavily with a breathless moan, splaying his legs and creating the perfect space for Alec to slide into his lap.

Alec’s whole body jolts when their bodies slot together, the press of Magnus’s cock between the cheeks of his ass slick and hot and perfect. It feels so good he forgets to breathe for a second, lifting up and sinking down again, a full-body shudder sweeping through him at the slick drag of Magnus’s cockhead over his hole.

"Like that, yes, just like that," Magnus breathes, tipping his head against the back of the couch, his Adam’s apple bobbing with every slow roll of Alec’s hips against him.

Alec can’t help but move in and close his lips over his throat, teeth dragging over the slight protrusion, Magnus’s low moan vibrating against his lips. There’s a spark of blue light and Alec feels himself get soft and slick inside.

"Oh fu – fuck," Alec says, bliss crawling through him with the warmth spreading in his ass. He doesn’t bottom often, mostly because he’s helplessly addicted to Magnus’s greedy clenching heat and the way Magnus writhes and cries out as soon as he's filled; cock, fingers, tongue, Magnus loves taking it, shameless, decadent and devastatingly beautiful.

"Is this okay?" Magnus asks, sliding two fingers into him easily. "I still want you tight."

Alec nods, but he sucks in a harsh breath at the feeling of Magnus’s knuckles dragging against his rim, the burn immediately soothed by the cool metal of his rings pressing against his hole. For a split second Alec thinks Magnus’s won’t stop, his heart beating in his throat at the thought how it would feel to have those rings stroke him from the inside out. He bites back the please that’s on the tip of his tongue, groaning instead when Magnus pulls his fingers free, leaving him empty.

It’s a bit of an awkward shuffle, the leather of the couch too slick and the cushioning too soft for him to get proper leverage. Magnus isn’t much help, either, leaning up and distracting him with messy kisses, and it’s only by sheer force of will that Alec manages to hold Magnus’s cock steady enough to guide it inside of him.

It doesn’t hurt, Magnus made sure of that, but it’s still tight enough that Alec gasps when the thick cockhead splits him open. He moans his approval at the too-wide stretch, relishing the burn of fullness as his body works around Magnus’s cock, bearing down with small circles of his hips.

He lets out a wasted noise when his ass meets Magnus’s thighs, bracing his forearms against the couch and pushing his head in the crook of Magnus’s neck as he pants and clenches viciously around the cock inside him.

"Ride me. Go, fuck yourself," Magnus grits out, his voice a hoarse wreck, hot breath fanning over Alec’s cheek.

The world goes raw and hot for a moment before Alec remembers how to move. He sits up and screws his knees into the upholstery, but instead of lifting himself up he sinks further down into the soft cushion, silently cursing Magnus’s penchant for hedonism.

"This isn’t…" Alec pants, struggling into an upright position, steadying himself with his hands braced against Magnus’s shoulders. "You’re really gonna make me work for it?"

"Payback is only fair, Alexander," Magnus grits out around a breathless groan, his hands settling on Alec’s hips, thumb stroking over the stamina rune on his groin. "Need I remind you what you did to me the last time you used this?"

He looks like one of Alec’s filthiest fantasies, gaze heavy and mouth bitten red, spreading into a devilish grin, more than enough to send little shards of heat prickling over Alec’s body. He doesn’t need the reminder of Magnus writhing on his cock, mouth and lashes wet as Alec wrung yet another climax from him.

"No," Alec says, his voice cracking around the word. "Like this, then." He leans back and braces himself on Magnus’s knees, sliding his own knees wide around Magnus’s hips, throwing his head back when that last inch of Magnus’s cock slides into him.

It’s deep, fuck, so deep. Alec lifts his hips slowly, savoring the burning drag of Magnus’s cock, clenching down to feel the hard length inside of him before he sinks down again.

"Slow, darling, I want to see." Magnus slides his hands down Alec’s thighs, dragging his nails over the inside, so close to where Alec is stretched around him.

Settling into a lazy rhythm Alec fucks himself slowly, his breath punching out of him with every thrust. His thighs are burning, but it’s all worth the raw hunger on Magnus’s face as he watches his cock disappear into Alec’s ass.

Alec’s hole spasms around the thick length, and he shifts to chase the sensation, crying out when he finally finds the perfect angle. The drag of Magnus’s cock over his prostate forces a moan out of his throat, his mouth dropping open at the sharp spike pleasure that’s burning up his spine.

"Magnus, please," Alec gasps, screwing his eyes shut when another wave of pleasure ripples through him. He squeezes his knees around Magnus’s hips, feels his gut tighten and the shudder it raises from Magnus. "Touch me, I’m so close — gonna…"

"Alexander," Magnus says, so much more than just that one word, his voice run raw, sounding as wrecked as Alec feels.

Magnus curls one hand around Alec’s cock, the other ghosting over his balls, fingertips drifting over his fucked-open rim before it finally settles on Alec’s belly just below his navel.

The first push of the heel of Magnus’s hand jolts a cry from Alec. The second one punches all the remaining air from his lungs.

He’s seen Magnus do this to himself countless times, watched him unravel and come completely undone by getting worked from the inside and out, but nothing could have Alec prepared for the excruciating pleasure that’s now searing his insides; his cock, hard and dripping against his belly, almost an afterthought.

Alec feels too full, aching but desperate for it, pressure and pleasure building inside him in a tidal wave that threatens to break and consume him. He didn’t know getting fucked could feel like this, god, he didn’t know.

"Yes, yes, there, fuck," Alec gasps, shaky and rough, clawing his fingers into Magnus’s knees. His movements have slowed to a slow grind, shoving himself down onto the cock that’s stretching him wide. It’s slow and deep, Alec too far gone to move and Magnus’s hips pinned immobile by his weight, but that’s how they both need it, Magnus so deep inside that he feels like a part of Alec.

When Alec comes it’s fast and messy, searing through his veins, his entire body tightening and quivering like a wire coiled taut to breaking point. Alec feels it all the way to his bones, soaking Magnus’s hand and his own belly with come while he rides out wave after wave of agonizing pleasure.

Still drowning in sensation Alec struggles to his knees, bracing himself against Magnus’s shoulders. He feels raw, tender inside and out, stretching languidly into the first upwards jab of Magnus’s hips. "Keep going, feels good," he says, barely more than a whisper.

Magnus’s groan is a wrecked and broken thing, but he jars up into Alec with unrestrained strength, finally taking his own pleasure, selfish and unashamed. Alec squeezes his eyes shut and nuzzles into Magnus’s neck, his thighs shaking every time Magnus pulls out, his oversensitive body clenching around Magnus’s cock like it’s unwilling to separate even for a second.

It’s harsh and fast, too much. Alec takes it with slack-mouthed pleasure, burning along every nerve from the feeling of being taken. He’s half hard again when Magnus comes with a harsh gasp, filling Alec up, marking him inside and out with finger-shaped bruises on his hips.

Neither of them moves until their breath finally evens out.

"God, Alexander, the things you do to me," Magnus rasps, brushing feathery light kisses against Alec’s neck. The tenderness in his voice makes something seize up inside of Alec, tells him everything Magnus doesn’t say.

"Good things, I hope," Alec says, tilting his neck to give Magnus better access. Magnus’s lips are warm and parted, and the glide of his tongue against Alec’s skin is so good that Alec almost doesn’t want to move. Almost. He hasn’t had his fill of Magnus yet. "What do you say we go home and I’ll do a lot more to you?"

Magnus’s answering smile, slow and wicked, is everything.

[theonewiththeeyebrows]

Grimm!AU -- Derek/Stiles edition

Stiles’ maternal aunt comes into town. She is severely sick, but she’s always been someone Stiles looks upto -- when she starts telling him about their family legacy he thinks she’s finally lost it. When Stiles hears his dad on the radio calling in a man hunt for a body, Stiles takes Scott and goes to the preserve to find it. They are attacked by a wolf-like beast and Stiles and Scott get separated. Scott swears he saw another beast like man with huge teeth save him. Scott starts acting strangely and Stiles suspects something is wrong. Then one day at school he sees Isaac Lahey woge during a confrontation with a teacher. Stiles is terrified and thinks he’s losing his mind, he goes to his aunt’s trailer and finds cabinets full of medieval weapons and torture devices, and books that look older than anything he’s ever seen before. His aunt had called him a Grimm. He finds more Wesen at school, when they identify him, they are scared and try to run. But he tries to befriend them, and does so successfully. 

Erica, Isaac and Boyd are in bad family situations but they are a tight-knit group who would do anything to protect each other. They have an older friend, Derek who is the guy who saved Scott -- and is the one who tells Stiles what is happening to Scott because “Wesen abilities” are not a disease they cannot be passed down, you have to be born a Wesen. The only Wesen that can be created or destroyed are the hexenbiest and zauberbiest. 

Derek - Mauvais Dentes – Derek, his sisters, his father are all Mauvais Dentes, his mother was Blutbad. His parents were shunned by the Wesens for marrying outside their communities, but were later revered when they proved that blood feuds don’t have to destroy families; that people are more than the reputations their ancestors gave them. Blutbads can be kind and caring, taking care of the weaker wesen in their communities (Talia was a Lawyer, but she and the kids volunteered with the Orphanages and Geriatric centers), and Mauvais Dentes can be gentle and patient (his dad was a pediatric surgeon). Derek meets a Seelengut named Paige at his school and falls in love with her, but she dies when a Musasat Al-Shabab targets her. She dies in Derek’s arms, while aging rapidly. Distraught Derek falls into bad company, through whom he meets Kate. 

Kate seduces Derek. He tries to set up a rendezvous with her at his house, but she doesn’t show up. A few weeks later, he and his twin Laura are at an away game (he is the basketball captain, and she is head cheerleader), when they are called out and told their family home was burned down. The only survivor is their uncle Peter who was visiting with his wife and toddler daughter. (Derek is a Blutbad-Mauvais Dentes hybrid)

Paige was a pureblood seelengut, people did not take too kindly to a Mauvais Dentes dating a Seelengut. She was killed at the behest of a Mauvais Dentes ‘pack’ that was passing through town because Derek and Paige refused to let bloodfeuds come in the way of their love. And the Mauvais Dentes ‘pack’ was trying to create a marriage alliance between the Hales and their pack --- through Derek. Talia and her husband both refused right off the bat, because they wanted Derek to marry for love, but also because he was only 15 -- but they took matters into their own hands and direct a Musasat Al-Shabab her way. She dies in Derek’s arms, while aging rapidly. The Musasat Al-Shabab sells his formula to plastic surgeons in LA (not Beacon Hills). 

Kate -  is not a Grimm, but she is a human who hunts Wesen. She is from a long family of “Hunters” who know Wesen exist and believe that they must be eliminated -- their code is: “We Hunt Those Who Hunt Us”. She is Allison’s adoptive aunt.

Peter - a lycanthropic Blutbad that scratched Scott – he develops Lycanthropia a few years after the fire – the trauma causes a genetic mutation he had to trigger the infection that was latent in his blood. Laura and Derek try to help him, but don’t know how. He is the one who kills Laura, but it was not intentional. He wants to be put down so that he doesn’t hurt anyone else. Stiles and Erica promise to try and find a cure. He is currently housed in the Hale House reinforced cellar to prevent him getting out. Derek and his “pack” visit Peter all the time. Malia also visits when she is found and finds out she is his daughter. (Blutbad pureblood)

Scott – Human, but starts experiencing Wesen-like effects after being scratched by Peter -- this includes a sort of woged state when “primal”. This leads Stiles and Derek to conclude he may have had some Blutbad blood – but not enough for him to be Wesen.

Malia – coyotl – she was living in the preserve on instinct after the Hale Fire. She was found by an actual coyote pair and was raised by them. They kept her fed and loved. She thinks of them as family – she comes out of hiding when a group of hunters kill one of her parents on a hunting trip and the other when she tries to get revenge. Malia is found by Derek wandering around in a woged state. He tries to get her to turn back to human form. They later find out she is Peter’s infant daughter, who had left the house to play in the backyard when the fire happened. She got lost in the preserve and was then found by the coyotes. (blutbad-coyotl hybrid)

Lydia – hexenbiest. Strong, opinionated, very intelligent. She hates Stiles at first and tries to neutralize him as a threat. However, Stiles convinces her that he is more than his ancestry and that he won’t hurt a Wesen unless he has no choice. He just wants justice done. (hexenbiest-zauberbiest parentage, making her pureblood) 

Isaac - indole gentile, -- father is an abusive human. His half-brother who was half-indole gentile and half-hundjager went off to war to escape Isaac’s bio-dad (Camden’s stepdad) and never came back home -- Isaac found it hard to understand Camden because although he was part indole gentile, he was a hundjager -- something is the opposite of an indole gentile -- where Isaac is soft and kind, Camden was strong and vicious -- Camden’s dad didn’t know he was born -- but he also didn’t care to be a part of their lives when he found out. Camden took it hard. Isaac’s mother dies in child-birth when he’s four. His sister was a stillborn. His father blames Isaac for their deaths because he found Isaac voged and crying and thinks he is a devil child. He tries to beat the devil out of Isaac. (as mentioned, human-indole gentile hybrid)

Erica - fuchsbau -- she has seizures, and is therefore shunned by the community -- her family owns a spice shop -- they haven’t really tried to find a cure for Erica, they think she is being punished for being a hybrid - half-human/half-Wesen -- her mother got teen pregnant before she married her step-father who is also a fuchsbau. Her family is killed by the Argents and the spice shop is left to her. (as mentioned, human-fuchsbau hybrid)

Boyd - dickfellig - his sister was kidnapped when they were younger. Boyd blames himself because he was supposed to take care of her but he was too busy playing video games. He tries to isolate himself intentionally. Derek convinces him he doesn’t have to be alone. That is how he joins the group of misfits. (pureblood dickfellig)

Parrish - zauberbiest -- one of the Sheriff’s deputies. He didn’t grow up in the Wesen world(he was an orphan who went to tons of foster homes, he is most likely a hybrid and only part zauber/hexenbiest). While he knows he isn’t human, he doesn’t understand what he is or what is happening. He is not phased by Stiles when he woges in front of him by accident. And that is because he didn’t grow up hearing bed-time stories about Grimms who kill Wesen. Stiles and Parrish form a mutually beneficial relationship where Parrish gets info about being Wesen and solving weird cases, and Stiles gets to be a part of the said weird cases. (status unknown: presumably pureblood hexenbiest-zauberbiest, but he could be a human-wesen hybrid)

Kira - kitsune - she is the japanese equivalent of a fuchsbau -- She has four tails -- tails have to be earned, this is something Stiles didn’t know. (pureblood kitsune)

Allison - another Grimm (who is a lot more deadly than Stiles because Stiles doesn’t kill unless he has to) -- she is an orphan so when she came into her powers she had no idea what was happening -- she was adopted by a family of “hunters” when she was a child -- the Argents know about Wesen and are intent on wiping them out, much like the Grimm, however, they don’t have the ability to see unintentional/emotional woging. So when they find out Allison can see the woging, and see how Wesen react to her, they train her up to be an assassin. When she meets Stiles and sees he’s a Grimm who is friends with Wesen, she starts thinking about her kills and how many of them were neccessary and how many were part of her family’s manipulations.

I haven’t really thought about who else/what I’d want to see here. All I know is that for a world I’ve created where people are meant be “pureblooded”, my characters are of mixed heritage (primarily).

[itsworn]

Giant Gallery: Mopars At Rockingham! Video Too…

It was almost 20 years ago that I edited Mopar Muscle. One fondly-remembered thrash was building the motor in a 1971 Road Runner in 48 hours at Carlisle, which succeeded only thanks to Steve Dulcich’s careful selection, a never-say-die attitude, and a bunch of parts companies that donated to the effort. Despite my foolishness at attempting such a program, that car, owned by Dale Mathews, is still running today. When we decided to make the trek to Steve Earwood’s legendary Rockingham Dragway for his big April 1 Moapr race, Dale agreed the ’runner was due for some mileage. With some hand tool tools, spare parts, and our vert wall skateboards stashed in the trunk, we left Morganton, NC the afternoon before, went bowl riding in Charlotte, and made the 100-plus mile run to the hotel in Aberdeen, N.C. with no problems.

The show is one of the longest-running Mopar-only events in the South. For many years, it played host to a lot of older iron, but Earwood has seen big growth in the late-model categories. So, while there was a vintage Hemi Shootout effort scheduled, there were also classes for new LX-platform Challengers and Chargers, plus a regular bunch of brackets and trophy divisions, for Mopars only on this day. In between, the track allows grudge races and time shots, making it a fun time whether you came to race seriously or decided to just run for fun a little bit.

The Hemi race was abbreviated but Bob Reed, who unfortunately is quite ill right now, sent in both of his Barracudas, with Dan Meile and Lenny Melton driving. With consistent times, Virginia’s Tank Crosswhite ended up being the winner in the all-1968 final.

Meanwhile, thanks to the hard effort of volunteers, a judged car show was also part of the event. Held on pavement normally used as the pro pits during larger races, it too was a plethora of both vintage and late-model Pentastar iron. Awards were presented in 26 categories, and the level of vehicles on hand ranged from tunrestored originals to radical street modifieds. We awarded the Editor Choice award (blame Stunkard if you disagree) to a restored 1970 V-code Road Runner owned by David Campbell of Cola, S.C.; you’ll see it in the photos.

On the other side of the track, a swap meet hosted many vendors and assorted gear, while Petty’s Garage had both the 43 Jr. drag Barracuda and new Petty Hellcat Challenger on hand. For a one-day event, the 2017 version featured spectacular mid-seventies temperature, a fast-executed drag program, and an enjoyable time by all. While showing you everything would not be possible, we went through hundreds of images to bring you the 150 seen here. Enjoy, and mark your calendars to “Rock” next spring.

Meanwhile, Dale and I enjoyed 240 miles of driving in an old-school car. We got a lot of thumbs-up on the way, and even had some long-time readers asking if it was “that car” on Facebook as we made the journey. With so many cars like this trailered these days, we may have to do this one again soon…

The pine-laden hills of central North Carolina bring out some great cars; here is a restored 1971 Barracuda making a time run during the 2017 Mopars at the Rock event.

The show field was evenly split between the cars from yesterday and the cars of today, which is pretty cool because we are seeing a real unity in the hobby despite the time difference. A lot of older car owners also have new Mopar muscle as well.

All-Around Honors (a class we just made up) would have to go to Nat Wolfe of Sherrills Ford, N.C. He took his hot-rodded custom paint CJ5 Jeep to a show win in his class (Jeep) and the final round of the footbrake race. He runs mid-12s with it and it launches like watching an altered.

Don’t let anybody tell you all the old-school street machine tricks are dead. Jeff Eaton of Lexington, South Carolina brought his 500-cubic-inch wedge ’71 Road Runner, complete with a true 1980s-era 6-71 supercharger on top.

Class runoffs in footbrake and Pro ET were combined from the quarter-finals forward. This was the big money run, won by Vick Helms of Catawaba, S.C., who ran dead on, 6.660 on a 6.66 dial in his white ’72 Duster. Scott Cheek of Greensboro was the runner-up.

In the Challenger Shootout final, Mark Rantt (near lane) lost traction in his 10.80 Challenger was unable to catch Paul Cannata’s Challenger, but unfortunately Paul, who had been chased by much quicker blown and big-inch cars in each round, went 13.91 to beat himself and his 14.00 dial-in.

Tom Lauber dropped a 440 in his well-worn 1965 Belvedere, complete with “acid-dipping” by the DOT, and went a bunch of rounds to win this trophy in, yes, wait for it…TROPHY CLASS. Seriously, this was a nice tribute to old-school racing, and Tom looked like he had a blast in the 14-second zone with the raw iron.

A highlight for attendees was this appearance of Petty’s Garage and the 43 Jr drag car. This vehicle was a replacement in mid-spring 1965 after an accident in the first “outlawed” version of the car. There was also a 2017 Petty Hellcat and a lot of signed memorabilia for sale.

The 2017 Editor’s Choice award went to David Campbell, whose youngster held the spoils for…

…this 1970 Six Pack Road Runner, which featured the Air Grabber, a white vinyl top, Magnum 500 road wheel, metallic bronze paint, and…

…a matched tan interior, and a four-speed Pistol Grip.

One fun part of the day was impromptu grudge racing. This one was between a hot Hellcat Charger and a Hellcat Challenger. Considering that, when driven correctly, these are truly 10-second street cars, we are living in the good old days.

With Bob Reed not able to race or attend due to pressing health issues, Lenny Melton was in his match-race Barracuda for the final against the latest car out of the Crosswhite Brothers stable: a 1968 Dart. Tank, as seen here, got a hard jump and held on for the win with an 8.65 to Melton’s slowing 9.26. Bob could use your thoughts as he has cancer and is in a hard way right now.

With the track’s tower in the background, a row of vintage iron, a sunny day, and the track’s cans of $2 beer (water is the same price!) made this a relaxing afternoon for many who came out. See you on the first Saturday in April next year!

Track owner Steve Earwood, whose brother Terry won the 1973 U.S. Nationals Super Stock crown in a 1971 Hemi ’Cuda convertible, has run this event every year he has owned Rockingham Dragway (26 years!)

The post Giant Gallery: Mopars At Rockingham! Video Too… appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

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[icarusproject2015-blog]

I’ve been in this game long enough that I’m always shocked when someone comes to me with a story of animal exploitation that I’ve never heard of. And yet, it happens, far more often I’d like. There is, apparently, an inexhaustible number of people eagerly awaiting their chance to “teach” the public about the animals they’re exploiting. Which brings me to the Great American Frontier Show: Wolves of the World. I had never heard of the show, which was founded by a man named Michael Sandlofer, a number of years ago. Mr. Sandlofer passed away in 2016, so I will be as respectful as possible in the writing of this article. The article will, however, be honest, and forthright.

The Sandlofers have owned and trained captive wild animals for entertainment purposes for multiple decades. They even had performing bison at one point. From as early as 1979, they’ve had animal shows performing for audiences, at a price, while claiming the animals were all “rescues” and that they were “educating” people.

Finding articles about the Sandlofers and their shows was easy, but I quickly learned that none of those articles contained more information than that the show was “educational”. Those claims were accompanied by quotes from either Michael, or Sharon like “Wolves are the most misunderstood animals in the world.” and “If you look at wolves up close, you’ll see that their two center toes are longer than the others,” Sandlofer said. “That gives them better traction when they’re on the hunt.” and this gem “Many just don’t understand the pyramid of life cycle and the part these wolves play,”. That last one got a long snarly breath out of me, because by just a few articles into my research, the doublespeak and incorrect information provided made it clear that 1) the Sandlofers did not, and do not, actually know much about wolves, and wolf biology, and 2) the interviewers and authors of the articles either didn’t know, or didn’t care, enough to fact check the information provided by the Sandlofers.

For example, Michael and his wife are described as “having been involved with animal rescue and conservation for decades”. However, aside for Mr. Sandlofer’s participation in the saving of a beached whale back in 1981 (totally commendable) there are no references to the Sandlofers “rescuing” animals by anyone other than the Sandlofers themselves. And while the Sandlofers claim that their animals come from “an animal rescue organization” I have been unable to find any rescue group who works with them, nor have I been able to find where the Sandlofers have ever named the organization.  At the time of the whale incident, Michael Sandlofer was a deep sea dive instructor and worked with the North Wind Museum, which he founded in 1979. The North Wind ran the “All-Star Animal Revue and Circus” for a number of years.

Most articles note that Sandlofer was “awarded the prestigious Rolex Award” for his conservation efforts. However, when I went to the Rolex site, and checked their records, Mr. Sandlofer is not listed as a Laureate (winner) of any Rolex award, in any year. I did, however, find this write up, which clearly states that he received an honorable mention from the award in 1984. Still noteworthy, and respectful, but it’s not the same as actually being named a Laureate.

       I finally decided it was probably best to just check out actual videos of the Sandlofers’ show. So I spent about three hours, cumulatively, watching Sharon put on the Wolves of the World show. I also watched a great many commercial-style video spots of Michael Sandlofer hocking his show, encouraging fair grounds and entertainment facilities to book them because of the “huge crowds” they draw. The performances I watched ranged from the years 2012 to 2016 and took place all across the country, captured by attendees. At least one was put on by the Sandlofer’s daughter, Brenna. Here are some fast bullet points I got from all my screen time, which I’ll then explore further.

The shows run about 20-30 minutes, but on average, 15+ minutes of that time is spent simply introducing the animals one at a time, or in sets. Many shows state specifically that all of the animals are Eastern Timber wolves.

Sharon is the primary handler. Her husband refers to her as the “Wolf Whisperer” *cough* *Lion Whisperer influence* *cough*

Both Sandlofers repeatedly use the term “positive reinforcement” to describe what they call their “training method” while also repeatedly stating that “you don’t train wolves”.

They call the actions that the animals perform “behaviors” rather than “tricks” insisting that they are all “natural behaviors” while also stating that they “train” the animals “to perform the behaviors for their enrichment.” But each time they say this, they add “but you don’t really train wolves.”

About half the meager wolf biology and scientific information provided by Sharon is either wrong, or extremely simplified and misleading.

The shows always ends with Sharon offering the audience chance to (for more money) take photos with “a wolf pup” and “tour their “den” trailer”.

Despite that the Sandlofers repeatedly refer to their animals as wolves, and as “the pack” I found no evidence that the animals are ever housed together in a functional pack, even off the road.

From 2012-2016 the script of the show remains virtually unchanged, with Sharon reciting the same lines over and over again, almost verbatim, despite that over those years, science’s understanding of wolves has increased and changed. The only real alterations are in the backstories of some of the animals. But the new information provided often directly conflicts with the biographies and information given in previous shows, indicating that the Sandlofers change facts to suit situations.

The main shtick of the Wolves of the World show (aside from being the “Only traveling wolf pack in America”) is that wolves are “the most misunderstood animal in the world”. In addition to being a painfully hackneyed phrasing, it simply isn’t true. There are thousands of completely misunderstood animals in our world. The wolf is just one of them. To describe the wolves and their importance to the environment as being “misunderstood” by Americans is like saying Jews and their importance to humanity was “misunderstood” by Hitler. The hatred and savagery directed at wolves in American history has little to do with them being misunderstood, and everything to do with them being blamed for things they had nothing to do with, and thusly sanctioned for annihilation. And just as with the Holocaust, wolves were systematically exterminated for their perceived worthlessness. Sandlofer, when she does touch on the subject,–something that doesn’t even happen in every show–states that wolves were targeted for hunting because “man saw them as competition”. That is, to put it mildly, an extremely narrow and simplistic perception of the matter, and a largely modern interpretation of modern wolf conservation issues, not historical ones.

In the 1700s, explorers were not concerned with the idea that wolves were going to eat all of their deer or other food staples. In the 1800s settlers were not concerned with sharing food with wolves, so much as saving their livestock from the perceived danger of wolf attack. During hard winters, this ended up being a literal danger. In the 1900s, professional wolf hunters were not concerned with how many deer a wolf pack ate, so much as how many dollars they could get for each wolf killed.

The mass extermination of wolves was driven, not by their “competition” with human hunters, but by the desire for cold hard money, as well as old world fears and hatred, which early settlers brought with them from Europe, where wolves had already been effectively exterminated by 1680 in Scotland, 1786 in Ireland 1707 in Switzerland, and so on. By the late 1800s, wolves were all but extinct in most European countries, and those still alive had been driven into Russia.

True wolf extermination efforts in America did not even begin until the 1870s, and that period of violence lasted up into the 1950s. 

To present the idea that wolves were killed by “settlers” because they were viewed as “competition” for a food source, or perceived as dangerous to humans, implants visions such as this into the minds of listeners:

When in reality, the intentional butchering of wolves is a much more recent event, and one that was driven by outright hatred, monetary gain, and sport. (both historical and modern wolf extermination shown here)

Sandlofer’s noble intonement that “Native Americans were really the only people who truly understood wolves. They thought of the wolf as their brother.” is also an idealistic fabrication of “white thinking” (usually presented while mood-setting Native American pipe soundtracks are played for the audience) The relationship between American Indian Nations and the wolf was, and remains, complex and deep, and not always friendly. Some Nations admire the wolf and respect it, but rather than see wolves as “brothers” they see them as warrior spirits which can be invoked by wearing wolf hides, or tails tied to themselves as they go into battle. The Cheyenne Wolf Warrior society are an example of this.

Other Nations, most notably the Navajo, feared, and continue to fear, wolves, believing them to be human witches in disguise. They believed that a Navajo witch became a wolf by donning the skin of a hunted wolf. Navajo werewolves are, even today, often blamed for murders, mutilated bodies, and raiding graveyards.

Unlike Sandlofer’s presentation of American Indians taming wolves and turning them into todays breeds (it should be noted that there are many dog breeds older than the recorded history of North American Natives) the reality is that bringing wolves into camp rarely worked out, as the camp dogs (which Sandlofer’s timeline insinuates wouldn’t have existed yet) killed the pups, or superstitious tribe members stole them away and cast them out. It was far more common, particularly amongst the Cree, for children to find a wolf den, and approach it, at which time the adults would move away–with no recorded attacks on the children–and then the children would dig the pups out and play with them before returning them to their den, and retreating so that the adults to return.

To get back to the “educational” value of Wolves of the World, Sandlofer repeatedly says that you “don’t train wolves, you ask them to do something and hope they do it”, while at the same time openly giving the wolves verbal instructions, and rewarding them with food when they obey, which is the literal process for training through positive reinforcement. The conflict of her statements is obvious. She is, in fact, training the wolves. Or, to be more correct, the wolfdogs.

Czechoslovakian wolfdog.

Image of the Sandlofer’s animals taken from this undated article, where they’re described as Timber wolves.

It’s obvious to anyone with some expertise that virtually every animal in the Wolves of the World show, is actually a captive bred wolfdog, not a full-blooded wolf. Despite that the show describes the pack as “all Eastern Timber wolves” in this 2012 video, none of the animals are full-blooded wolves.

In contrast wolfdogs (as I suspected most, if not all of the Sandlofers animals were when I first saw them) are the product of multiple generations of selective breeding between other wolfdogs in a manner which sustains a high percentage of wolf genetics, but provides a more doglike personality, and tractability. Because domestic dogs were taxonomically recategorized in 1993 as a subspecies of Canus lupus, wolfdog proponents say that they’re no different from other domestic dogs, and wolfdog are now recognized by the UCA. If you follow I.C.A.R.U.S. you’ll know our position on this matter. I have included informational links on wolfdogs to show the definitive differences between them, and captive wolves for the purpose of this article. And this article is not about wolfdogs, it’s about the misrepresentation of wolves by the Sandlofers in their show.

In order to confirm my hunch about the wolfdogs, I sought out and subsequently secured the expertise of an established professional within the wolfdog community. They were, understandably, dubious about speaking with me, considering I.C.A.R.U.S.’s position. However, when I explained my situation, they were willing to help me, as the misrepresentation of wolves, and wolfdogs, is bad business for anyone devoted to genuine conservation.

My contact was able not only to confirm that at least four of the Sandlofer’s main animals (Cody, the “hero wolf” Phoenix, Cheyenne, and another unnamed animal) are, in fact, wolfdogs, but also that those four animals were not “rescued” by the Sandlofers. They were, in reality, bought by Sharon and her husband a number of years ago. Furthermore, my source was given to understand that sometime shortly after the Sandlofers purchased the animals and began describing them as “rescues” they were approached by the former owner, and asked to refrain from calling the animals “rescues” since they had been purchased.

Yet, in virtually every video, or interview I found about the Sandlofers they steadfastly, though the years, have continued to describe their animals as “all rescues”. Likely, this is because “rescues” are far more sympathetic to the audience than purchased animals. The Sandlofer’s daughter, Brenna, goes even a step further in this 2014 video, not only repeatedly calling all of the animals “wolves” but also stating that a number of them are “wolves” people got a pets, and then became afraid of an couldn’t handle. As none of the Sandlofer animals are even full wolves, this is, apparently, another fabrication of fact, possibly to then allow the Sandlofer’s to “encourage” conservation by suggesting that wolves don’t make good pets. Which is true, but irrelevant, since the Sandlofers don’t have full blooded wolves.

The only bit of truth, it seems, to Sandlofer’s backstories of their animals, is the rescue story wherein Cody saved a child from drowning. That, my source stated, they knew to be a true story. My contact went on to say that as far as they know, Sharon still keeps her ear out within the wolfdog community for any animals that might be available to secure and add to the show. It is not, my source explained, uncommon for many of the “sanctuaries” which offer “wolf” interactions, to shop around for wolfdogs and wolfdog puppies to purchase for their programs, as wolfdogs are more outgoing, where wolves are incredibly shy, and wolfdogs are much more inclined to follow an established routine, when properly socialized and trained.

This is not surprising for those of us who are aware of the duplicity of pseudo-sanctuaries, but it was enlightening to hear it from the “opposite side of the fence” as it were, and I’m grateful to my contact for all the help they provided to me.

In the 2012 video, the animals Sandlofer refers to as “the boys” are all wolfdogs, bred in captivity and derived from several generations of wolfdogs at minimum. While Sandlofer offers lengthy histories for the other animals, she states that she “doesn’t really know the story” of these animals (there are about five) but that they “came from West Virginia” and that they “desperately needed help and we were there to give it.”

The owner of the show doesn’t know how she ended up with a batch of wolfdog puppies–which she’s introduced to her audience as full-blooded Eastern Timber wolves? How is that even possible? She goes on to say that they’ve had “the boys” since they were babies, and that she raised them herself, which makes them easier to handle and work with.

Fast forward to this video  of the 2016 show, and Sandlofer is now telling the audience that “the boys” are all brothers, about five years old, and all came from the same (undisclosed) place in West Virginia, and she points out that they “look different” because “they’re wolf-hybrids”. Confusingly, however, some articles from around the same still have the Sandlofers stating that “the animals in their show all are eastern timber wolves.”  While other articles quote the Sandlofers as stating that they are wolf-hybrids.

After showing off “the boys” Sharon then introduces three young pups, two boys and one girl, whom she states “have been really interesting” because they’re only a year old, and they’re the first young animals she’s gotten to work with because normally they only get older rescues. So now we have two separate shows performed four years apart both containing young animals that Sandlofer states are the “first” young wolves or wolf-hybrids she’s ever worked with. 

On top of that, Wolves of the World seems to have offered photo opportunities throughout the years, each with a puppy or set of puppies, which, of course provokes the questions where are the puppies coming from? What sort of pups are they? (the Sandlofers refer to a pup named Lobo as half Arctic wolf and half Timber wolf, at one point, then call him a full Arctic wolf in a different instance) And where are they going?

As far as the scientific information that Sandlofer recites for her audience, much of it is misinformation, or fragmented facts.

According to Sandlofer a wolf’s “golden yellow eyes see extremely well”. But the reality is that wolves see, on average, as well as a human during the day (they see more tones of gray, and can detect motion faster than we can, but don’t actually see “better”) and some researchers actually believe that wolves might be nearsighted due to the fact that there eyes do not possess a foveal pit. They have more rods than we do, though, and thus see much better than humans in the dark. In addition, the color of a wolf’s eyes range from gold to amber, brown, gray, yellow and even green. Only blue is explicitly excluded from a true wolf’s eye color range, yet Sandlofer repeatedly describes all wolves as having “golden” eyes, citing it as one of their defining features.

Similarly, Sandlofer describes a wolf pack as being “five to as many as twenty wolves” when in reality, a pack can consist of as few as two wolves, and in some cases, under certain circumstances as many as 40. In fact, at one point, the Druid pack of Yellowstone (and Sandlofer is quick to liken her own wolves to those of Yellowstone) swelled to 37 animals. During the winter of 2010-2011 there was even an unprecedented occurrence in the small town of Verkhoyansk, Russia wherein an exceedingly hard winter forced multiple wolf packs to merge, resulting in an amalgamation of hundreds of animals working together. Even conservative estimates put the number of wolves at over 200 animals, and in their bid to survive the winter, they wrecked havoc on the agriculture of the small town. A far cry from Sandlofer’s 5-20 wolf packs.

Sandlofer states that wolves are unique in the formation of their foot, wherein the two center toes are slightly longer, which “gives them superior traction while on the hunt”. In reality, this type of foot conformation is known as being “hare-footed” and all domestic sighthounds, as well as many other domestic breeds possess the feature. It provides more speed to the animal, but also take more energy within the execution of their gait. Domestic dogs with an evenly rounded feet (the result of short third digital bones) are described as being “cat footed”.

When Sandlofer discusses her wolves which were “rescued” from a Minnesota fur farm, she states that “fur farms are illegal”. Fur farms are not, in fact, illegal. They should be, but that’s another topic for another article. Fur farms in the US are not only legal, but they’re not even regulated at the federal level. Some states may, or may not have specific protections, but that’s no guarantee. The only possible protection for wolves would be the Endangered Species Act, but wolves do not currently have full protection under the ESA, and the ESA does not protect hybridized animals at all. So just as the Sandlofers are presenting their wolfdogs as full wolves, anyone owning full wolves could simply crossbreed their animals, and thus avoid the issue while still harvesting pelts. And since the Sandlofer’s other animals actually are wolfdogs, it seems plausible that the “wolves” they “rescued” from the supposed fur farm are also wolfdogs. Even if someone is accused of breaching the ESA, prosecuting them is an arduous and slow process, which multiple steps. And it’s not always completely successful.

The Wolves of the World show has, according to articles, and reviews, long been seen as an exciting and educational experience designed for family fun despite that the “education” they offer is comprised of falsehoods, exaggerations, and outright bullshit. With the increasing popularity of “education through interaction” programs and facilities, it’s likely the Sandlofers will only continue to expand their show, misrepresenting wolves in the process. By foregoing honest facts in favor of showy–and untrue–stories and histories the Sandlofers do no service to current wild wolf populations, nor to conservation itself. In truth, the only suggestions for “aiding wolf conservation” that I ever heard the Sandlofers mention was that audience members should “contact their congressman” and either demand an end to wolf culling, or ask that they not be removed from the endangered species list. Genuine issues and information regarding sustainable wolf conservation within wild populations were never mentioned.

The history of wolves in America is a complicated, often sordid affair that swings from utter vilification and near complete eradication, to glorification, and contrived reverence to the point of absurdity. It’s a subject that far outstrips the inane descriptives of “misunderstood” and “competition” used by the Sandlofers to describe the American conflict between wolves and humans. Likewise, the ongoing biology, and science of wolves, and wolf conservation is an ever-expanding realm of study. And it’s one that faces a constant and ongoing war against the misinformation, lies, and exploitation of groups like the Sandlofers. Those of us fighting to reach the public without the aid of flashy shows and routines will readily meet the challenge, each and every time we face it.

If you would like to know more about the true history of wolves in America, the three books listed below are a great place to start.

War Against The Wolf, America’s Campaign to Exterminate the Wolf, Rick McIntyre, Editor

Of Wolves and Men, Barry Lopez

Vicious: Wolves and Men in America, Pro. Jon T. Coleman

For a plethora of scientific articles about wolves, and their conservation spanning decades check out this link.

Selling Utopia: Rewriting The History Of Wolves In America For Public Consumption I’ve been in this game long enough that I’m always shocked when someone comes to me with a story of animal exploitation that I’ve never heard of.