#you are not obligated to complete the work of averting armageddon but neither are you free to abandon it!

[fresh-bag-of-ham]

"the system cannot be meaningfully reformed from the inside" ok good luck reforming the system from alpha centauri!

[omniscientwreck]

Day 5: Ashes & Artifacts // Two Librarians in Armageddon

Finally got around to day 5 of @shadowgastweek

Gonna try a text post to see if that gets more traction than the links? Idk how tumblr works anymore but please enjoy this lil reimagining of the moments surrounding Essek’s first Nat 20! 

Caleb stares across the intricate circle at Essek after having watched him painstakingly scrawl beautiful arcane glyphs across the skin of Cognouza. The fact that Essek can find new ways to use their combined talents while staring horror in the face is incredible. When he’d stopped for the stone Caleb hadn’t been sure whether it was worth it. After all, they’re coming back when this is over. 

However, he suddenly appreciated his friend’s foresight and his ability to prioritize. Essek held in his hands a portion of Dunamantic power, the thing he’d sold his soul for, and he’d willingly given it to Caleb. He’d offered it up seemingly without a second thought. And when it came down to it he not only condoned destroying the artifact, but had suggested it himself. 

Caleb knows Essek’s hunger for knowledge, he is intimately familiar with the temptation of understanding. He’s fallen to it before, it had been used against him, his former teacher had slapped him in the face with it. His hunger to learn, grow, and be stronger had made him into a weapon to be wielded and he nearly lost himself completely to it. Now, to see that hunger put in second place, for Essek to willingly starve himself for the sake of the Nein and their survival. 

He’s come much farther than Caleb had realized. He’s given gifts freely, he’s offered protection and aid in combat, he seems to be interested in knowing them. Truly learning about them and he senses no obligation there. He’s not just babysitting them for the Dynasty, he’s with them in hell to save the world because he cares for them and wants them to make it through. 

As the wizards stare across the circle rendered on stone made of flesh, they both cast. Caleb feels the arcane energy pulse and gather in his shoulders and it shoots from his hands, throttling the stone between them. Essek mirrors Caleb, his magic much more powerful, white hair glowing and flying back from his face where it’s been slicked with sweat, and the look on the drow’s face is pure determination. 

Time gets strange. It stretches out before Caleb and for a moment he sees hundreds of realities. It’s hard to tell them apart, there are a few where they fail, time becomes loose and rubbery before snapping back with no effect, in many timelines they seem to succeed, in more than one they’re not there at all. But as possibility and potential weave together he begins to feel better. He can see it on Essek’s face, the look of a discovery, of another experiment gone right, relief that he can help and be of use. Caleb imagines his face is similar but as the drow looks up at him he averts his eyes. 

Essek looked beautiful, lit up by transmutation and dunamis, their shared power casting a glow across the striking features that Caleb’s grown accustomed to. Essek kneels before him, manipulating the very stuff that makes the universe, hands moving almost fluidly like a maestro pulling art out of air and vibrations. In the bending of time he’s struck with the though of them in a different life. A life where they hadn’t been on opposing sides, where neither of them are important or significant, just two researchers together and sharing in discovery and joy. He knows this is not a likely future or even a particularly plausible offshoot of how things turned up. It’s nice though. To imagine them as glorified librarians working towards greater understanding and knowledge. Unburdened by national allegiance and treachery, no pain that they couldn’t face and conquer together. 

He knows he doesn’t deserve it but for a moment he can believe he’s earned rest. And then a strong wind coils around them, his lungs hurt for a moment and Essek explains that the effects are temporary. They begin joking, Caleb’s bones feel electric, he has energy, he has spells. He smiles, wide and proud at Essek who grins sheepishly back, a hint of flush glowing through his cheeks. It doesn’t last, he puts his guard back up and they get to work identifying. 

Once the Nein have decided on the most efficient distribution of items, Beau begins to meditate and Caleb pulls Essek briefly aside, retreating pointedly out of earshot from the rest of the group, “Essek, thank you.” 

He shakes his head, earrings dangling, somehow still attached, “You need not thank me, it’s the least I can do. You all are the only thing standing between our world and certain destruction. It was necessary and I would do it again.” 

“Even in this moment you count yourself out? You’re standing with us, Essek. You are a part of this and we nearly certainly wouldn’t be standing here without you. I know that with the others it will take more time, and I was admittedly hesitant to bring you here. But even amidst the ashes of those who achieved what you dream of you keep me on track. This is more than just survival. It’s taking time but I have faith.” 

He leaves the sentiment hanging, they’ve been through so much in the last few days alone. Essek will always be the man who betrayed his homeland as Caleb will always be the boy who slaughtered his own family. What the Nein have taught him, above all else, is that goodness comes from progression. To be good is to choose good and Essek has begun making that choice and making it consistently. 

“I do not deserve that. I am here to be of use, I am here to aid you and your friends. One day we will return to Aeor and that will be for us but for now I am not here for myself. You needed me so I answered your call, my only concern is to assist and to aid.” 

Caleb reaches across the inches between them, huddled and speaking in hushed tones and he grips Essek’s forearm again. “Allow yourself this victory, they’re few and far between and you deserve it. You are amazing.” 

Caleb wants to convey so much with a simple touch. He wants Essek to know that from the ashes of trust he is fostering new growth, he wants Essek to know that he cares for him deeply, he wishes this could be said out loud but time is fleeting and that is complicated. As the mages lock eyes his face softens, and Essek slips for a moment. Out of his eyes comes gratitude, relief, a fondness that fills Caleb with warmth and as his face twitches into a small smile as Essek flashes his teeth. Just for a moment, and Caleb knows they have to make it, he wants to know that smile, wants to be the reason for that smile. Before he gives away too much he pulls away, but Essek’s eyes never left his and for a moment, two arcanists facing the end of the world understand.