#you already suck for the love of god let the kid take the surgical route that is more likely to preserve his quality of life as he ages

[significant-narratives]

the fact that medical malpractice is just an accepted part of nhl player management is insane btw

[hurricanery]

If You Went Away - pt. 7

A/N: This is the last full chapter of If You Went Away. I might do a little epilogue that showcases a bit of a timelapse of the next few years- but this is it! This is the end! Thank you so much for all of the support while posting this story, it really means the world to me and it was so much fun to write, even though it was a lil dark here and there.

Other parts here: part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6

Please continue to send prompts for things you want to read in the future. I am already planning to post part 1 of something really fun in the next day or so! <3

_______

(present day)

“Can we run the potentials again, please?” Amelia’s voice permeates through the operating room, and her eyes shift to the side briefly, in time with her request.

“Motor and sensory signals look good, Dr. Shepherd.”

Amelia breathes a sigh, grateful that her surgical mask muffles it. She was usually so confident in her OR. She never faltered. Never led anyone onto her stress, if she could help it.

“There’s so much bone fragment here,” she mutters to herself, but also to the resident across from her. “This part of the vertebrae was totally crushed, we have to, we should make sure….wait!”

The resident completely stops what he’s doing, his retractors coming to a halt over the open spine they are currently operating on.

“Hold off,” Amelia stares below, eyes shifting as she racks her brain for ways to move forward.

After another moment, the impatient resident clears his throat. And Amelia glares up at him before she speaks.

“Can we page ortho?” She decides, but then determines she wants to be more specific. “Er, actually, just page Dr. Lincoln directly, I mean.”

“On it, Dr. Shepherd.”

_______

Having Link across from her during surgery immediately eases some of the stress. He moves with a hopeful confidence that influences her own, and moves with her almost flawlessly.

Along with the sense of ease Amelia feels, the ease that she associates with Link’s surgical process, other feelings start to rise. And she tries to suppress them. The personal feelings. The sudden pulse-quickening feelings. The realization that she’d woken up next to him this morning and didn’t feel totally suffocated by what that meant. His eyes meet hers over the operating table briefly and Amelia is instantly transported back to this morning.

She’d woken up before her alarm. Which seemed strange. She’d anticipated a harsh and unwanted interruption to her sleep, especially after a stressful weekend at Link’s parents’ wedding. She laid awake in bed and let the weekend sink in. The way that night had ended. And Link’s sleepy statements.

She rolled over to face him, and then unashamedly watched the morning light hit his face as he snored softly. She even smiled to herself. Until her quiet moment was suddenly interrupted by the iPhone alarm blaring next to her.

She gathered herself quickly. Dropped the smile. Let her face fall. As Link’s eyes adjusted to hers.

The same eyes that now hold her gaze in the OR.

“This is the part that’s tough,” she composes herself quickly, eyes focused. “See how it’s crushed right here-”

“Yeah, alright. Let me get in there. See what I can do,” he offers, and he watches how Amelia’s eyes widen in warning. “I won’t let anything shift,” he adds, complete assurance evident in his voice.

Amelia nods. And Link goes to work. His hands just as careful as his tone.

_______

“Thanks for operating with me,” Amelia turns her head to the side, glancing at Link as they stand side by side, scrubbing out of surgery.

“Of course,” Link smiles, “Any chance to work on a spine? I’m all for it. Plus, I love seeing you operate.”

Amelia blushes, rolling her eyes in disbelief.

“No really,” he adds. “Neuro is so beyond me, Amelia. I don’t know how you do it.”

“Okay,” she steps away from the sink, her voice cracking a bit as she avoids the compliment. She clears her throat. “I’ll go pick up Scout? And head home? God, I’m so tired….I can’t wait to get home.”

She moves towards the door, but Link quickly follows after her, catching the door and slipping out into the hallway right behind her.

“Wait, Amelia.”

She turns around, glancing at him almost impatiently.

“I….might have asked Meredith to pick up Scout.”

“....And why would you do that?” Her eyebrows pull together, and a surprised laugh escapes her mouth.

“I wanted to take you to dinner….remember?”

Amelia swallows, her face falling as the realization hits. She thought he’d be the one not to remember this half-asleep proposition.

“Like….right now?” Her surprised expression turns more stunned.

“I, uh. Yeah, so….Meredith is picking up Scout. She has Bailey too. She’s going back to our place to watch them while we get dinner.”

Amelia blinks, taking in this information. “You….planned all this?”

“Yes.”

Amelia glances around the relatively empty hallway that they’re still standing right in the center of.

“I had back-to-back surgeries just now, I’m…” She shakes her head. “I kind of just wanted to go home.”

“Dinner and then home?” He lets himself sound hopeful.

“I don’t know….” she starts stepping back, away from him. Ready to turn around and resume her route to the attendings lounge. But then her stomach growls, loudly, just as Link steps into pace with her. Giving her away completely. And Link smiles. Hugely.

“You can’t tell me you’re not hungry now.”

_______

They haven’t been to Angelini’s in over a year. It feels foreign to be sitting across from each other in the dimly-lit Italian restaurant.

But it is their favorite spot. And Amelia is hungry. So she swallows her fears and decides to let the evening play out however it will.

“I have to say…” Link starts the conversation in a playful manner. “I was pretty nervous before this, so, thanks so much for meeting me.”

“Meeting you?” Amelia stifles a laugh. “You drove me here.”

“This is a first date, remember?” Link hangs his head low, and leans forward, his muttering tone reflects the act he’s putting on. “Just play along.”

Amelia frowns, and then the waiter approaches to get their order. They order their usual. Which is always two different pastas to share, salad, and endless bread. When the waiter steps away, the conversation picks back up.

“I said I wanted to start over, right? So think of this like a first date.”

“Wow,” Amelia sighs, stifling another surprised laugh. “You really meant it.”

“I did.”

His tone is more serious now and Amelia gazes at him, deciding whether or not she’s up for this. Her next words surprise her.

“I haven’t been on a first date in ages, so. You’ll have to remind me how this goes.”

Link’s eyes light up, and he breaks out into a soft grin. The waiter approaches with their basket of bread and a couple of small salads get placed in front of them. They express their ‘thank yous’ and then turn back to each other.

“Okay, so. First date questions, right?” Link offers.

“I think we already know the basics,” Amelia grins, biting her lip, trying to think of anything she doesn’t already know about the father of her child.

“There’s always more to learn….” He trails off, thinking. “Okay new game!” He exclaims rather loudly. And Amelia almost chokes on her sparkling water before she sets it back down. “Let’s play 20 questions! I think I can come up with 20 things I don’t already know about you….or, more like, things I want more detail on.”

Amelia raises her eyebrows at this, reaching for a piece of bread as means of deflecting.

“I didn’t hear a ‘no,’ so,” Link watches her as she bites into the bread. “I’ll ask first.”

She’s feeling that pulse-racing again. Along with the thump in her heart. And she doesn’t know where it comes from.

“What’s your favorite color?”

And then her heart rate slows a bit. Relieved at the question. Because this was going to be easy, if this was the route the questions were going to take.

“You don’t know my favorite color?” She questions back.

“I could guess, but no, I don’t think I know for sure.”

She stares back at him for a moment, his bright-eyed gaze holding hers. The candle on the table flickers between them, highlighting the gentleness of his blue orbs.

“Blue,” she mutters, immediately looking down at her salad.

And Link watches her drop her similarly captivating stare. “Mine too,” he admits, then goes in for a bite of salad.

Amelia clears her throat. It was her turn for a question.

“Do you wish you had siblings?”

Link swallows his food, nodding. “I did….when I was a kid. I wished every day that I had siblings. Now? Not so much.”

Amelia nods solemnly, as her own disdain about adult siblings comes to mind.

“Dream vacation?” The questions are coming faster now.

“Paris,” she shrugs, but then glances around the restaurant. “Or anywhere in Italy. Favorite movie?”

“Batman.”

“I knew that, actually,” she laughs, genuinely enjoying herself.

Link nods, thinking of his next question as Amelia finishes up her salad.

“Biggest fear?”

Amelia’s eyes widen, and once again she finds it hard to swallow her food without struggling a bit.

“We’re getting that deep already?” She mutters. “On the first date?”

Link just nods, raising his eyebrows at her.

“Are we allowed to….skip questions?”

Link’s eyes narrow at this. But he decides to lighten up a bit. “Fine, you get one skip,” he agrees.

“Thank you,” she mumbles, moving onto her own question. “Dream job? Besides your current one?”

“Dream job besides head of ortho at Grey Sloan….?” He verifies the question.

She nods.

“I don’t know….I already have both of my dream jobs. I love the ortho department here….and I love the work I’ve done with the Mariners. I don’t have another dream job. These jobs….are the dream,” he shrugs.

Amelia sucks in a breath, setting down her fork and biting the inside of her cheek.

“Okay, my turn again….” Link continues, not catching on to Amelia’s reaction to his answer. “What’s your-”

“What are we going to do? When the Mariners want to renew your contract this season?” Amelia interrupts Link’s question with one of her own.

Link frowns, putting down his own fork and clasping his hands together. “Is that….your question for the game? We’re switching turns now?”

Amelia just stares at him.

“Do I get to skip a question, too? Or?”

She shakes her head slowly.

“Alright…” He mutters. “I think….we’ll worry about that when it happens. That’s really all I can answer for now.”

And now she nods.

“Do I get a turn now?” Link questions, uncertain of the rules now.

Amelia offers another hesitant nod.

“How will you feel….if I get offered another contract?”

Amelia reaches for her drink and takes a sip, actively prolonging her answer.

“You don’t get another skip,” he adds.

She sets her glass back down. “I know. And my answer is….we’ll worry about that when it happens….” she smirks, repeating his words from a moment ago.

“That’s not-”

“Hey,” she interrupts. “That’s my answer! And I’ll let you have another turn, since I stole yours.”

Link shakes his head, grinning.

“Deal,” his smile grows wider, and he wiggles his eyebrows up and down a bit. “What’s your favorite thing about me?”

Amelia rolls her eyes, trying to suppress her urge to smile back at him. “My favorite thing about you….” She trails off, her eyes zoning in on another area of the restaurant. “My favorite thing about you, is the fact that you brought me here….because I think that’s our waiter heading this way with the pasta, and I simply could not be more excited for that….”

Link huffs out a laugh, watching as Amelia’s eyes follow the path their dinner makes to the table.

_______

They get home about an hour and a half later. Their arrival coincidentally causes Scout and Bailey, who currently occupy the length of the couch, to stir from sleep. The muted TV provides a dim light to the living room, and they try to be as quiet as possible as they let the light guide them to the coat closet.

“Hello?” Scout’s tired voice pipes up from the couch, just as Amelia and Link make their presence known.

“Hey guys,” Link whispers as the boys begin to sit all the way up.

Meredith enters the living room then, too. “How was dinner?”

“You guys went to dinner?!” Scout looks between his parents curiously, a drowsy edge to his voice still.

Amelia laughs under her breath. And Link offers to take Scout to bed.

“And I'm going to head out,” Meredith states, as she watches Bailey practically succumb to sleep again on the couch.

“Thanks so much, Mer,” Amelia voices her gratitude, as Link helps Scout toward the stairs and Meredith leads Bailey to the door.

Amelia stands in the hallway, smiling to herself as the two pairs make their exits.

A moment later, Scout’s small voice can be heard from the top of the stairs.

“Mom looks happy,” he says simply. Sleepily, but simply. Like the observation should be obvious.

Amelia’s face quickly falls. Her smile is replaced with a look of shock, following her son’s perceptiveness. Meredith turns to her, from where she’s almost out the door, and raises her eyebrows at Amelia knowingly.

And before Meredith can say anything, Amelia is moving towards the door, ready to shut it behind her sister. “Goodnight, Meredith,” she says pointedly.

The next thing she hears is Meredith’s giggle from the porch outside. It mixes in with the sound of Link’s dumbfounded chuckle from the top of the stairs.

Amelia groans, deflecting the grin that wants to overcome her face.

She drops heavily onto the couch as she listens to the sound of Mer’s car pull away. Link descends the staircase a few minutes later. He takes in Amelia’s relaxed position against the cushions and collapses down next to her.

“He fell asleep the second his head hit the pillow,” Link laughs.

And Amelia hums appreciatively, turning to him. “Thank you for dinner tonight,” she mumbles. “I’m glad you planned it.”

“Of course,” he responds wholeheartedly.

A brief silence falls between them, and Link thinks they could almost fall asleep right there, with the post Italian food coma threatening to overcome them both.

He shifts a little bit, leaning closer to Amelia on the couch. And she opens one eye, peering at him curiously.

“I know this is a long shot,” there’s a slight seriousness to his words. “First date and all…” he trails off, and Amelia now opens both eyes, becoming fully focused on whatever he’s about to say.

“What’s your stance on sharing a bed on the first date?”

And then the mocking tone finally registers for her, and she fails to suppress her giggle. She reaches over and smacks him on the shoulder playfully.

“You’re too much,” she rolls her eyes.

“I know,” Link chuckles, standing up from the couch. He reaches a hand out to Amelia, offering to pull her up from her position on the couch. “But let’s go to bed.”

Amelia stares up at him, biting down on her smirk. She clasps her hand around his.

_______

(6 months later)

It feels like déjà vu. Like she’s lived through this situation before. An entire year after the previous summer, it’s like clockwork. The same situation once again.

Link huffs out a sigh as he grabs the last of the luggage, adding it to the pile in the front hallway.

“Where’s Scout?” Amelia mutters, entering the small space by the door.

“He’s upstairs, he’s almost ready.”

“Did he pack his new baseball mitt?”

“Yup, he’s got it,” Link offers a small smile.

And then their overly-excited, now 6-year-old, is running down the stairs, already dressed in his baseball uniform.

“Scout,” Amelia laughs, “You have to sit through a pretty long drive. You sure that’s what you want to be wearing? How about something more comfortable?”

Scout shakes his head profusely, barely able to stand still. “No, no! I don’t wanna change!”

Amelia sighs, reaching forward to ruffle his hair. Scout steps away from her touch, the additional year to his age consequently resulting in some impatience at her affections.

“Want to help me finish loading up the car, bud?” Link asks.

Scout nods enthusiastically, following his Dad outside.

The house is quiet now, and Amelia listens to the distant sounds of her son babbling excitedly outside. It feels so nostalgic. Like it’s happened before. Like déjà vu, a feeling rises in her chest as she listens to the car start up. She listens for their voices to get closer, and for their footsteps to clamber onto the porch. And then, moments later, Link re-enters the house with Scout trailing behind him.

“You all packed up?” Amelia asks Scout, a familiar edge to her voice.

“Yep!” Scout replies, his energy radiating in an almost contagious way.

“Okay, then. Guess it’s time to go,” Amelia states.

It’s familiar. But different.

“Where’s your suitcase, Mom?”

The same. But so, so different.

“I put it in the car, bud,” Link chimes in, eyes shifting to Amelia. “We ready?”

Amelia nods, glancing around the house to make sure everything is set. Set for Link and Scout to be gone for the summer. And set for Amelia to be gone, too. Because she was going, this time. Travelling to the away games every other weekend. This weekend being the first of many.

They lock up the house and climb into the car. Link drives as Amelia sits passenger side. Scout can be heard from the back seat, chatting eagerly about the games he’s looking forward to the most.

Amelia smiles to herself, glancing out the window as she listens to Scout. She feels a hand come to rest on her knee and she turns to Link, her smile growing wider as she takes in his expression.

“Thank you,” he whispers, squeezing her knee, eyes shifting back to the road. He eventually removes his hand, so that both of his palms can occupy the steering wheel again as they continue to the airport.

“Link,” Amelia matches his whisper. She keeps her eyes on him. Watching him as he watches the road. “We always fight for our dreams, right?”

Some sort of emotion waves across his features. And Amelia notices the way he tries to blink away the sudden glassiness in his eyes. She can’t quite place the reaction he’s having. But then he looks at her again, briefly. And all Amelia can see is loving.

//

Another A/N: thank u thank u thank u for getting all the way here! means THE WORLD TO ME u don’t even know. Hopefully this story came full circle enough <3 I loved writing it sm!