#you all like my funny posts but u wont interact w these posts or even talk to me :(( why do u all hate me zo much im trying so hard to bgoo
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blehh i try so fucking hard to be good and appear cute and doggy and open and whtvr but it feels like im literally never gunna get any friends/family/ppl who care about me at all ever fucking again no matter what i do ,w, ppl just donttt like me unless i post nudes n even then its all shallow n never any sustained liking this sucks so fucking much :(( ive done like evvrything i can
#i hate this why is every other dog better than me!!!#you all like my funny posts but u wont interact w these posts or even talk to me :(( why do u all hate me zo much im trying so hard to bgoo#how do these fucking dogs get to talk to people so much?? why does no one talk to me im nice im nice i am im a fucking good boy cmon#:((
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yo hi your shawn spencer having aspd take is awesome, been looking for a 'popular' character that displays aspd better than dexter. if you ever wanna give more elaboration / possibly infodumping i will be in the audience standing and clapping
u sly dog u got my monolouging.... AIGHT HERE GOES!!
so i forgottt if i said so in the og post but i think henry ALSO has aspd and thats where shawn got it from, but to elaborate: i think that's why henry became a cop
FIRST OFF: wrt cops, i am operating on TV SHOW LOGIC, not real life logic. tv show cops and irl cops are VASTLY different in the kinds of morals each set has. rl cops are deeply unethical but in the world henry spencer inhabits, this is largely not the case. since he's In There and not Out Here, i go with the show's portrayal of cops and their morals and values, instead of real life's. everything i say about cops from here on is about the show's cops, aight? aight lets go
SO the thing about having aspd and knowing on some level that you have it and somethings Different about you is that at some point you HAVE to learn How To Live In A Society Without Immidiatley Getting Ostracized. a common tactic for this is to somehow aquire a set of morals and then just Do That. it's what i personally did, and a lot of those morals came feom whatever community i was in. i liked being here, they had some set of morals, and i just adopted those and treated it as truth. over the years this process has become a lot more refined but generally my morals align with the community i find myself in- namely, queer leftists. so a LOT of my moral beliefs come with interacting with queer leftists at length (because, since i was queer, and thus interacted w a lot of leftists) and going "yeah, that makes sense, this is now a moral standard for me"
so tldnr you need to find a community with some moral tenants that you generally agree with and also like, which sounds like a no brainer but its like. a bit different yk? for me PERSONALLY there really isnt much of an internal set of checks and balances that make me agree w my morals under all costs and i can like. turn it off if i need to
but back to the spencers: being a cop is really good for this. the moral set is easy- you're a cop. you care a lot about The Law. ergo your morals are just... the laws are good and breaking tbem is bad. short and simple and to the point
additionally, being a cop means you get to engage in risk taking behavior and get PAID for it! people dont think youre a crazy reckless thrill seeker, they think you're a HERO! and who needs remorse when you're dealing with criminals? you dont NEED to feel bad about power tripping or intimidating them, its totally fine. its fine. its fine
also relationship issues- henry's divorced, that's not uncommon for pwaspd in relationships. sometimes its poorly managed and/or they wont change and even if theyre stable enough not to be dangerous or abusive, it could be an unpleasant experience for a lot of different reasons- arguments being a massive problem when they happen (the remorse thing- good luck actually getting an apology outta them), worry over the risky behavior being met with flippiance, general lack of emotional vunerability. stuff like that
all this btw is based off my real relationship struggles between me and my fiance who does NOT have aspd (we r like... total opposites its so funny. top 10 funniest matchups of all time)
back to shawn. he is a lot like his father in many ways but the main reason i thought he had aspd is just... he treats EVERYTHING with flippiance and sarcasm. even when hes locking in and being serious, there's still an underlying feeling that he's Just Having Fun With This, no matter the situation. which, this isnt like an official criterion or whatever, but like... i know a LOT of guys with aspd. most of them talk like this. there's always a sense of emotional detachment from most things, because there is one, because they have aspd. i jokingly call this the "sociopath lilt" because theres also that sort of, up-and-down inflection (that shawn has!) that comes with it. its so funny it just makes other pwaspd instantly clockable to me. get thin sliced loser
but once i started thinking about it, more things add up... he's CALLED OUT on his risk taking behavior and flippiance towards serious subject matter IN THE SHOW! he's had a ton of jobs and while i can't prove why he kept leaving them, aspd and having a job... don't mix well. i keep getting fired because i keep beefing w my manager, and i can see the same thing happening to shawn, or maybe he broke a rule one too many times, or got caught in a restricted area, or broke something thru carelessness
and it IS played for comedy but he very often tends to not respect the wishes and autonomy of the people he interacts with, ESPECIALLY gus. he cares naught for anything gus has going on with his job and wether or not he'll get in trouble if he leaves early or does whatever scheme shawn cooked up, and generally sort of treats him not very kindly a lot- which isnt to say their friendship is BAD, its just a pattern of behavior yk?
thats all i can think of off the top of my head rn, but yeah imo shawn is a very realistic take on a guy with aspd whos just like. a regular guy with a mental illness thats to some degree managed, some degree not. very "adhd kid went thru some shit and developed aspd" coded (theres a link; if you abuse a kid with adhd theres a HUGE chance theyll develop conduct disorder and later aspd) (also i guess "some shit" for shawn was the divorce and also being raised by a guy with aspd and being influenced by how he thought a lot)
he's not like, dangerous or abusive or anything, he just has his quirks that can cause problems for him or give the people close to him grief, but its kind of like... an affectionate sort of grief, yk?he just reminds me of myself in a lot of ways. and i like that even in a hc theres SOME character out there that isnt like, a serial killer. imagine having a mental illness and all the characters with it are evil. like yeah theyre cool characters but can i have SOMETHING else for once PLEASE
also lassie has npd send tweet
#shawn spencer#henry spencer#psych the show#thank u for the ask i hope u like!! ✌🏼#also quick shassie i think if shawn tries to tell lassie he has aspd hed do it in the form of hangman on a bar napkin. send tweet
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how DO alternates get attached, anyway? what does it even do other than make you not wanna kill people?
wish i knew bro it would make shit so much easier on me
but fr. its hard 2 really give a concrete answer bcuz us alts see attachment as like. taboo basically. if gabe catches you getting attached to a human it uh. its not pretty. other than the torture you get for disobeying Him you get like... exiled almost, or... whats the word He used once?
excommunicated. yeah that one.
there have been studies on attachment though, i think the u.s... uh... well idr the exact name but it was some fancy shmancy government dept thats done a couple . havent read em though LOL
anyways. ig i can try to explain as best i can from my experience w attachment . n atlas can chime in if he wants too idk and uh . ill try to make it make sense (spoilers it probably still wont lmao). this isnt a definitive like... guide or anything im basically just posting general rambles abt what ive learned over my days lol
so. i think all alternates want to be loved, no matter how far down theyve buried that want. were conditioned from creation to think that gabriel is the only one who can love us, but He wont unless we follow His command to the letter. and what that translates to is killing humans senselessly . and not only that but like. us alts... we like violence. we want to kill. its integral to our beings. none of us can really be "nice" or "good" 24/7 and that uh ... tends to sound scary to the average person . so even if we did all collectively decide to turn against gabe and humans like... magically forgave us for killing and kidnapping thousands of people, its not like we could ever be "normal" members of society. its not like we could ever be loved. so no one really bothers trying.
anyways, from what i can tell, alternate attachment happens when that kinda barrier between humans and alts gets broken (at least from the alt's perspective), and it typically happens when an alt is in close proximity to its assigned victim for a long period of time. that time varies from alt to alt too, like it deffo took a lot longer for atlas to get attached to cesar than it did for me to get attached to mark. nd i could be wrong abt this but i also noticed like. the more a victim interacts w their alternate, even if theyre doing it in a threatened or scared way, the more likely it is for the alt to get attached. "taking an interest" in a specific human is the most telltale sign of attachment, to the point that the phrase is pretty much "slang" for it among alts .
also just to clear this up: while alternate attachment can be romantic, it absolutely doesnt have to be. not at all. id describe my attachment to mark as like. familial honestly. and sometimes there arent even human words to describe an alts attacemt. its a spectrum yk? so dont think any of this is inheritly romantic or some shit cuz ill beat you up
as for what it does. well .
you dont know when u first meet a human that youre gonna get attached. i certainly didnt . so u just kinda do ur thing n shit, but sometimes it doesnt work and the human lives so ur like. okay ill try again . or maybe youre just doing a long job and ur learning all of ur victims habits n shit. and thats where it kinda begins
the first thing you notice is that like. even though its ur job to kill your human its like. its fun to keep them alive . yk . you grow to like the sound of em screaming in terror , or them freezing up when they see you . whcih. yeah that sounds kinda fucked to you guys but . just bear w me okay .
anyways. eventually it gets to the point where, even if youve been given several opportunities to kill your human, you dont take them cuz its just that fun to mess w em. this is kinda where the "taking an interest" thing comes in too . and then THAT goes into "ok wait . do i rlly have to kill them eventually ?? i dont want to do that theyre funny :(((("
eventually you realize that like. shit . i dont want this human to die at all. like. at ALL. to the point you'd fight off other threats just to keep them safe. and you get this just- rush of an emotion youve never felt before whenever youre around them. aand you realize. thats love. you feel love towards them, no matter what kind of love that is. its. it feels so wrong at first and- and you hate it, but it just feels so right to the point where you cant imagine feeling any other way about them.
and as you may have guessed. you start to see the human as your own. its kinda hard to really describe but,, it makes sense if you experience it. you need to protect them and love them and hold them so so close or else they might get away from you. and you change yourself so that you can be worthy of being loved back. its. ough its a crazy ass feeling for sure
this, uh,, doesnt come without problems thouugh. for one just cuz an alternates attached to a human doesnt mean the human necessarily likes them back. in fact its honestly really lucky that both me and atlas got attached to humans that actually didnt hate us. (for a while at least.) theres a fuck ton of rumors that get spread around of those who got attached and excommunicated, only for the human they were attached to kill themself because they couldnt live with an alt constantly following them around and trying to talk to them.
...i cant describe how lucky i am that mark came back.
not to mention you hafta constantly live in fear all the damn time cuz you could get discovered n tortured at any moment. its. its really shit but damn it if your human doesnt make it all worth it. damn it if you wouldnt endure any kind of danger just to stick with them. damn it if you dont want to comfort them and feel murderous rage whenever theyre sad and.
damn it if they arent yours.
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⚠️🏗🚧 teehee an intr o post!!! 🚧🏗⚠️
Haaaai ^-^ hi hi for the love of god hi. My name is fizix im a 22 y/o transman whos here for the silliness. And the cock and pussy and hole and tongue and cunt aand slick but also the silliness ^-^ i also answer to fizzy or fiz or puppy :D
yes i will make typos. its not a dumb puppy horny moment i just have fast fingers and im also halfblind with no autocorrect >_< please dont make fun of my typos!!! Unless its obvious its supposed to be a joke
This is also a sideblog!!! So if u know my main shhhhh no you dont :] i probably wont follow back but we r mutuals if youve dmed me and we've held a good few convos tbh
Im still kind of exploring this stuff but for the moment i'm a sub-leaning-switch. Like yknow how clownfish change genders to even things out. I can step up for the dom shortage if theres high enough demand but id prefer to sub ^-^
Im what you could classify as polyamorous but i dont identify with that label, im not looking for anything committed im just here to whore around and have some fun :D im bisexual, so anyone can interact! (EXCEPT CISHET MEN. OBVI.)
I am a man!!! anyone can interact but sapphics be known that i am a man and feel free 2 block me if that makes u uncomfy <3 godspeed queens. I try not to interact with wlw/mendni posts so if i do im SORRY </3
MINORS LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE. ITS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. GO OUTSIDE DO YOUR HOMEWORK OR SOMETHIGN
And also on that note ANYONE OVER 27 LEAVE ME ALONE THANK U <3
AND AND AND any ageless blogs/blank with only porn gifs are getting blocked <3<3<3<3<3
Dirty asks are open!! I'm always down to talk dirty with anons bc in a whore <3 i thiink tho im gonna leave horny DMs to mutuals only!!! So dont dm me like "ouhh i wanna fuck you so bad with my big dick" because its not gonna work. lol. Also i know i act all funny and silly but i AM down to clown if you get me in a mood <3 feel free to send a horny ask and see what happens :D
Current anons in da box: 💙 || 🐝 || 🐶 || 🦋 (feel free to ask for ur own emoji if you plan on sticking around!!)
If ur just dying to know what i look like then uhhhh im a redhead w no surgery so i got titties and a cunt <3 im also not a shaver so you gotta fight the WHOLE underbrush to get to the center of the tootsie pop <3<3 is it like a. Cherry tootsie pop? because im a redhead and the. the pusee. also since this apparently drives people crazy im 5'4"
I dont wanna have a full list of my kinks bc i feel like itd be more fun for ppl to figure that out for themselves instead of getting a cheat sheet <3 anyone that does a quick scroll on my blog can tell im into oral, p3tplay, and praise tho. ill give a list of my No-Gos bc i wanna have fun with this blog and not get squicked/triggered away from it. List might be updated as time goes on
Yellow Light (stuff im neutral/alright with that i might indulge every so often): dumbification, degredation, daddy/mommy title, impact play, only mutuals can bondage me
Red Light (hard stops, if u come at me with this stuff ur getting blocked): r@pe, piss, inc3st, scat, v//mit, p3do/4geplay, gun/knifeplay, k1dnapping/hostage, detrans, intox, feederism
And thats all for an intro poast i think! Thanks 4 reading have a good day and DRINK SOME WATER i know youre thirsty ;] This isnt a sex thing this is tumblr we are all dehydrated here. Suffering is not noble drink the damn water
#and.now 4 tha tags#nsft#mlm msft#bi nsft#uhhh#trans nsft#queer nsft#is that all of them. have i gathered the nsft infinity stones#WAIT 1 more#t4t nsft#hehe
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oh its cos i find Spike Fucking Annoying as hell. i get it okay thank u post before that was like pointing out that (fictional) murder is fine but its illegal to be annoying. exactly. ur right.
#toy txt post#btvs#if u disagree just keep scrolling im just tagging that for blog organization#yall are valid to like spike. you go ahead. i have no idea the fuck HOW but like you can do that#i. however. fucking hate him. and i want buffy to just. yeet him. away from her. forever. or even just. stop with the#flirting and the uwu will they wont they kissy bLEHDUFGWRG awful i hate it. id rather they just be snarky frenemies#making them ???? sp/uffy??? awful. i want to be clear this isnt a ship war thing. i quite literally hate every man in this show except for#Giles. i hate every man buffy ends up with. i liked oz briefly until. u kno. i want someone to save buffy from joss whedons boys pls#i hate how everytime buffy dates a dude and then He Sucks and then buffy is like...is this....my fault? is it me who is bad actually?#im going to scream. buffy. you are wonderful and amazing im sorry youre just. surrounded by shitty dudes for some reason. riley had the most#potential to be the least shitty. but then. he was army? and then also he was. doing whatever the fuck was going on there at the end#and THEN he fucking did that weird guilt trip ultimatum bullshit on buffy before leaving like FUCK that dude drop him for that alone#i dont know what was going on with the vampires with him. that whole plotline just felt really weird and cursed and the framing of it was so#awkward and uncomfortable???? that was just a wildly uncomfortable writing choice for me#i do also want to punt angel for the record. so far ive found him pretty funny but i hate hate hated all his interactions w buffy#and i haaaaate 'you two can never be friends youre either going to be passionately in love or passionately hating each other' sorry im :////#and xander..oh man. has he gotten less shitty and annoying in later episodes? yea. do i still want to punt him through a window? yes#but he has been promoted to lower on my shitlist by virtue of spike being SO FUCKING ANNOYING i hate his ass. i do not understand how anyone#likes him. i just dont im sorry. he got rejected a little harshly after repeatedly ignoring previous rejections of his advances and then he#was going to show up to her house to try to kill her with a gun and im supposed to be like aw hes so sweet tho bc instead he saw her crying#on the back deck about something else and decided to try to comfort her! idc hes gross and i hate him. his entire reason for being there is#just a massive red flag hes not sweet and romantic hes an edgy dick whos reaction to a rejection was to show up at her house with a gun#gross!!!!! hes gross and i hate him!!!!!!!! fuck him and fuck sp//uffy. eufhhfgdkgeje slimy fucking ass. throw the whole vampire out.#disclaimer again at the end: if u ship it i literally dont care. i mean i care a little and im going to sideeye the fuck out of your taste#but im not gonna harass u about it or anything and im gonna. grit my teeth and try to keep my salt on my own blog#one day im gonna finish this show but god this last season is Rough. im Not Having Fun but im so close to the end...#i have reached the point where im like. olay fine buffy i literally dont care if u fuck him or not but i want u to stop torturing yourself#over it like Jesus christ he is Not worth that much of ur emotional energy. i want her friends to find out and be chill with it so that she#stops torturing herself by making it into this biiiig dramatic secret thags haunting her and wearing on her
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YEAR END LOVE.
happy holidays and advance happy new year everyone!! this was supposed to be for christmas but.. yeah hope u had a great time w your loved ones <33 this is for my friends who helped me get thru shitty times, who made me laugh so hard, and made me feel appreciated :) to my mutuals, thank u for taking ur time to talk to me!! any interactions from u guys makes me so so happy <3 im proud of you for getting through this year!! this is gonna b a long one .. hehe <3 sorry if i didn't mention u!! i still love u :( this is in no particular order dw dw ily all d same
to my followers, mutuals, and people who likes my stuff in general ツ
AAAAAAA guys ily you rock !! thank u for supporting me and just being there for me (esp for the ones who listened and stayed w my shit !!) ty for liking, reblogging about my stuff, or just interacting w me!! pls pls talk to me let's have some good convo hehe i hope no one will send me or any blog hate bc that isn't cool >:( happiness and love only are allowed people!!!
@sunakissses ツ
my bestie, my bae, babe <3 you rock val if im honest :( even tho we haven't been friends for a long time, we just clicked !! and yeah talking to u is just makes me at ease n u have that comfy vibes :)) and our interactions r so funny and wholesome <33 i just love when im talking to ya you know :(( and idk i love ur supportive aura whenever i do something hehe :( lets keep going next year and be more closer >:) and yes u and suna r going to be the cat's first ever aunt and uncle <3
@romaune ツ
okay .. the literal meaning of sunshine, yes you gracie baby :( you're so wholesome i wanna cry thats me 2 u !! i love your aura and just everything, i get so excited when u reply to my asks fr, because ure so enthusiastic n i like that a lot !!! :( ik we don't talk a lot yet but from our interactions (or just us screamin abt our mans winks) i know i gained a friend, a good n funny friend for that:) and ure so like hinata i wanna squish and hug and talk to!! i love how we scream abt our ongoing suna brainrots HAHA can't forget that <33
@cryoqi ツ
people put ur hands up 4 the coolest person ive met !!!! >:( istg you're so kind and so funny even if thats not ur intention T_T at first i was intimidated by u but then yeah <33 we vibe :( only the real ones know abt us and me bein your bread anon <33 ure rlly great and can't forget d time us and dove sang thru texts ...? yes that i cried while laughing HAHA, and yes i love the way u write 2!! so you and just amazing overall :)) n yeah i like to talk to u a lot in the server !!! ure so funny & relatable at times hihi
@miyasangel ツ
arden bae !!! you're so ... cool and pretty and one of the people i want 2 talk to in here <3 you're like cool and the way you write is chefs kiss >:( and i love it whenever we talk abt random things AHSHS and when we talk abt atsumu <33 i love love that !! n yeah good thing i interacted w u b4 on ur old blog and get to talk to you more !!! i was so shy n nervous while sending you asks sometimes LMAO idk why :(( ure rlly a great friend <3 n i think u also became a factor on why im liking inarizaki :D
@cafemiya ツ
omg hail to issy !! i know we don't talk that much yet but i literally like u a lot >:( you're rlly great w your long fics !! n handmade heaven lead me to you and ur asks <3 and you're so chaotic too HAHA i like that :) dw ill always shower u w compliments bc u so deserve it bby !!! and i squeal sometimes when u reply to my asks w the same energy :(( n yes i just love you and your vibe in general <3 and im so excited 4 the collab !!! <3 thanks for reaching me out hehe or my slowburn fic journey wont happen :( anw ily and keep slayin issy baby!!!! :D
@kuro0luvr ツ
omg kieran .. the big phat supporter of chlojime is here people !!! <3 i just love loooove talking to you esp in the server & we scream abt anything n everything :( and thank u for always giving me support and everyone else when we're down!! you're one of my sunshines 2 :( i love how we just talk and instantly b close friends you know!! even tho we dont chat like in dms we r so close hehe :( and yes ill never forget how happy u got when i complimented that u have akaashi vibes <3 ty for being a good friend n supporter to me :(((
@oikawasbliss ツ
milo everyday !!! >:) i missed our interactions tbh :( you're just so chill n i vibe w u a lot!! your themes omg i want em its so aesthetic and everything <3 and uhm i love ur love for oikawa >< i mean who wouldn't but whenever i see smth kawa related i think of u immediately T_T and yes ure just so so cool :(( lets talk more soon gah and maybe talk abt aot hehe smirks <3 and yes i just like ur themes and vibe a lot <3 lets talk more soon gah >:)
@himichii ツ
I KNOW we didn't talk really like until few weeks ago but ... you're so funny and kind n lowkey sweet HAHA u were so intimidating before i can't talk 2 u <//3 but im glad i did !! not me writin this and listening to the playlist u made for me :( omg thank u for that and the other that u posted, i felt nostalgic and (good) sad on d inside <3 HAHS lets talk more omfg idk what 2 say :( OH oh ure a greatt writer :( the angst u sent yesterday made me sad gah <3 let's talk more in the new years!!! :(
@hajimine ツ
oml lexy bae where do i start??? omg ily like <3 because you're so nice n sweet n so funny 2!! glad i started participating in your ask games and on that we became friends hehe :( i love how we just talk abt anything on your asks <33 like ur life keeps me entertained HAHA and when u became more chaotic n all that .. i liked it!!! :( and oh u write so well if u didnt know >:( can't wait 4 more interactions w you bae !! <3 and ugh omg ily <3 literally cannot express how much :( you have good vibes n i wanna have that too !! and love how we just scream over one man ;D
@lcaita ツ
omg kai ... hi <3 HAHS sorry if im so awkward wtf but ure so cool and so funny !!! i like ur vibes always even tho ure not always around <3 and when youre around i just get happy !!! >< for some reason i love ur name hehe and uhm i love ur aesthetics hehe on ur acc !!! >:) and yes thank u for being a kind friend hehe :( lets talk more next yr abt anything!!! maybe abt ur mans (kaashi, semi, others) hehe ;)
@kemochie ツ
nea !!! i just . wanna say that you're a sweet human being :( and deserve the world :( ik we didnt interact much yet but !!! i love u already n your aura in general <3 and i just get soft on ur username for some reason T_T i love our little interactions from time 2 time n i wanna boost that more on the new years!! <3 idk i like u :( that's it thats my say :(
@nightmareupondaydream ツ
kana baby !!! im so grateful for u whenever u send me sweet words at random times ... and when i need it <3 and i missed our chats in dms :( lets do it again sometime !! im gonna be here for u okay :( and you're so sweet fr i love u,, and yeah just talkin about how shitty life is or how my writing goes, let's do that on the new years oki!! <3333
@ravscrii ツ
thank u for being there like really >< ik u have own probs to solve but you still helped me :( ty for being a great listener and supporter hehe <3 u deserve great things !!! and pls dw okay we're good even tho we arent talking that much :( i miss that hehe n ure a kind and funny person ASHS esp in the server ur replies n everything make me laugh :( lets talk more soon like the old times AAAAAA i miss it hehe <3 and goodluck on genshin HAHA pls entertain me w it even tho i don't play </3
@rintaroll ツ
olivia babe <3 omg i missed u sorry 4 not checking on u :( forgive me <//3 just wnna say u totally made my 2020 better n a little more bearable <3 i like ur vibes sm and ur name .. olivia wow i like it :( and oh you're so aesthetic like ur blog in general ??? hello pls step on me :( and u also influenced me (for some reason) to like tsumu more ?! which i dont mind at all .. i like it when we scream over tsumu or i tease u n him getting horknee :D yeah and god i can't forget the time we fangirled over gojo on ur asks ... and u sent me gojo gifs which made me scream <3 one of my unforgettable moments w ya!!
to my hajime anon + mod ツ
thank u for always being here :( and you just chatting w me makes me so happy <3 i hope you'll see this hehe and just thank u and ily yknow :( when im down or happy, or shitty you're just there, supporting me always <3 im so grateful for that!! and hajime anon mod ily :( thank u for taking ur time to chat w me and make me so happy hehe <3 take ur time okay :)
to my baby, stella ツ
AAAAAAA idk if you'll see this but shoot me an ask if u saw :( uhm i love ur vibes and you're so cool !! promise <3 and your theme changes r always so beautiful <3 pls pls i love you so much agh im so worried when u deactivated :( pls dont overwork okay whenever ure working :( i love talkin to u always in ur asks !!! ure so sweet and lovely grr >:( u deserve all d good things okay ily stel :((
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sorry if this is annoying but like. how do you make friends online? i cannot imagine a single way of reaching out to someone without being the most annoying person on the planet
aondrndkjdkfneocnskf i was the same up until like abt 5 yrs ago (maybe longer my time perception is so bad), it really is just a matter of going for it!!! being mutuals w them helps a lot, but u can and should reply to their posts even if they dont follow u back 🥺 this is a social app and trust me a lil reply here n there is not annoying at all!!!!! i love when ppl who follow me reply to my posts or send me asks. u need to become more than just a nameless note in their activity page before u can be someones online friend
following up w that, idk how it is for other ppl but for the most part i wont follow ppl if their blog is like...void of any personal posts BDJJWJFJDJ like i dont mean anything intense, just like talking abt ur day or stuff u like? it shows that ur willing to engage on a social level if u make posts that invite interaction
if ur blog is just reblogged posts, no tags no bio no personal posts no NOTHING, it is time to change that; show that ur someone ppl would like to follow and get to know !! i know u can do it so pls dont overthink it !!!!!!!!
be respectful be funny dont be obsessive and u will find urself making friends......!
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Can you tell me more about gawain and lancelot in the arthurian myths? I really ship then in FGO and I heard that they are bestfriends
ok this is straight up going to be an essay without the revisions so just a stream of consciousness on my thoughts of how their relationship is handled in both fate and then the legends themselves since fate pulls a lot yet changes some key aspects that really makes their relationship what it is. it kinda goes from a one sided pinning for an idiot who doesnt comprehend love to a more. theyre just bros. which kinda makes me upset anyways. under the cut. im so sorry for hwo long this is gonna be i have a lot to say about gawain and lancelot.
ok honestly i think fgo handles their relationship pretty well from what ive seen. they genuinely are just bros too stupid to realize the other is flirting with them in their own ways which is fucking hilarious. i think the only thing that bugs me about how fate actually likes. has them interact is they remove like. the greatest bit of their friendship and i think make it just about the war between them at the end. i cant say for certain but from what i can figure out i think they reduce gawain and lancelots conflict at the end of the main story to just completely them fighting and gawain dying via lancelots wound? but i dont know for certain dont quote me on this. this both a) removes all the REAL tragedy of this situation of both of them just being really fucked up over grief and regrets stirred by arthur in the first place and b) completely ignores one of the best bit of gawain characterization in le morte, gawain forgiving his literal best friend on his death bed and pleading for his return, to come back and mourn for him, to try to save whats left of the world they both helped build and protect. in an adaptation of le morte (which fate lore mostly is) i think gawains final letter is NEEDED to complete his arc and his like. entire character since malory (and then thus fate) spends more time focused on lancelot.
like just pulling from their dialog w each other in the My Room things, gawain talks about his regret and immaturity over... not forgiving lancelot? what . and lancelot just offers to play chess which is extremely funny. (on another note hwy does fate gawain hate bors. i ltierally can not figure this out at all why is he so mean to his best friends cousin theyre bros.... theyre bros!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
anyways now onto the legends because this isnt about fate. fuck fate i hate fate all of my homies hate fate. im gonna focus MOSTLY on le morte since that connects to fates version more and pull some quotes from other legends i have memorized but there is absolutely more, and the vulgate delves into it a bit more but i havent ... gotten that far im so sorry the prose merlin is kicking my ass.
the thing to note is gawain (excluding guenevere) was kinda the first person to show lancelot respect when he came to court. gawain kinda took him under his wing for a bit, and they end up VERY close. they have a relationship built off of respect and understanding for each other and it ends up being one of lancelots only Real friendships throughout most legends since he has issues w communication and understanding intention that i could (and will) rant about for hours so i wont delve too into it rn. but like. theyre arthurs best knights basically. troyes will say otherwise and say eric and yvaine are better than lancelot but troyes is fucking stupid and a whore, and most sources will tell you its gawain and lancelot (most sources favor lancelot over gawain due to the french influence on some later literature, and le morte is on the lancelot side due to being pulled a lot from the post vulgate, which pulls from the vulgate, aslo called the lancelot-graal cycle. its a whole thing)
but basically for a lot of the main legends you have two Absolute Best Bros who would literally do anything for the other, one being extremely horny and the other being so hopelessly inept when it comes to communication he doesnt understand how love works. theyre a wonderful pair :-) im kidding theyre so fukcing stupid watching them interact is like watching a car crash. its fucking disastrous and you want to yell at them to just beat the shit out of each other homoerotically and understand their feelings (which they do! wow! shout out to le morte!) anyways to keep this from getting too long lets go over some fun gawain quotes about his Best Friend. Who he thinks about a lot. but like... in a no homo way. he swears.
anwyays uhhhhh to keep this short heres a fun compilation of gawain being gawain. and a pretty good overview of how how gawain talks about his Best Friend in a totally not gay way. its straight if he says no homo.
in gawains death note, which i think is the peak of gawains character in le morte
“Sir Launcelot; for of a more nobler man might I not be slain. Also Sir Launcelot, for all the love that ever was betwixt us, make no tarrying...”“And I require thee, most famous knight of the world, that thou wilt see my tomb.“
and then. for equality since i skimmed all of knight of the cart for this, have some good lancelot lines. for context some idiot locked him in a tower for a year and lancelot just does this the entire time
anyways: tldr lancelot and gawain are in love even if both of them are too stupid to realize it. thats basically their entire relationship. everything goes to shit after lancelot accidently kills gareth and gaheris because lancelot too thinks of them as his brothers and is so torn up about it he lets everything happen. gawain starts a war with him because he would rather die than face the music. like its insane.... they should kiss. fate kinda gets this ok, but i think they should have had them just more homoerotic at every given moment because they Are. thanks for listening to my ted talk. im sorry im like this.
find u a bro to have a homoerotic duel with and live your best life babey
#I CANT FIND LITERALLY ANY ART OF THEM TOGETHER SO WERE GOING IWTH THAT#thank u for this i love ranting#im sorry im fucking crazy#i learned a lot about fate gawaain thru this which is weird#why does he hate bors......#also i forgot how funny knight of the cart is lancelot goes nuts in that tower going 'he loves me... he loves me not...' for hours#this got so out of hand i just want them to hold hands#Anonymous
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THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.
First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.
MUN NAME: Hela AGE: 21 CONTACT: IM
CHARACTER(S): Giselle Gewelle, Yumichika Ayasegawa (inactive)
CURRENT FANDOM(S): Bleach
BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR: I have gory Bloodborne au but that one just exists in my head on my lonesome.
MY LANGUAGE(S): English and one very specific Middle Eastern dialect.
THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / Science fiction / Horror / WESTERN / ROMANCE / Thriller / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / Erotic / Crime / MYTHOLOGY / Classic / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / Ancient / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / Sport / MUSIC / Science / FIGHTS / ANGST / Smut / DRAMA / etc.
PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: one-liner / 1 para / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA.
ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.
CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?: YES / NO only by Mutuals?: YES / NO.
PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / casual nothing too deep / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK. (i love it all sorry I am quite the mixed bag lmao)
IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?: YES / NO. i gotta know what certain human body parts taste like u know
ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.
DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?: YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. it’s SO BAD FOR ME RN ASGLDKJDJKA i’m very inconsistent i’m so sorry.
HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / months / years. / a lot of it has more to do w my general writing mood and if the thread im writing catches my interest, and rn im writing a TON of really wonderful and fascinating threads so they’re all super captivating for me and i try to reply asap
I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.
DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC. (i have a lot of stupid shit sorry)
ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.
BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: just send me a tumblr instant message, i know it sucks shit but im not comfy releasing my discord w everyone just yet cause i use it for personal use as well. i check tumblr on the daily so if you send me a message chances are i’ll see it and respond!
WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: i guess just be able to put up with my rambling and stopping and starting, a lot of characterisation choices i do go through various stages and its pretty messy so when i communicate that with others it usually ends up equally messy. just be patient with me please.
WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?: i don’t mind! sometimes ppl have more ideas that they want to share first and i’m always super happy to listen to those ideas !! sometimes its nice to have someone with a clear guide or structure and be able to work around that rather than trying to fumble through a plot together.
HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?: i try to map out some basic info abt their characters that i otherwise don’t know from their bio or verses and try to pick out points of confrontation or similarities to expand on with giselle that can be used as points for like a starter to happen. its either that or sometimes i have really stupid ideas i just toss out there like ‘LMAO THEYRE BREAKING SHIT AT DISNEYLAND’ and go buck wild from there if the other person is down. i also always try to warn people or get a gauge for what subjects to avoid and steer clear of considering that giselle is a bit of a Freak(tm) and will say and do bad things.
WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if there’s something giselle did or said that upset you, i would love to know not to repeat it again (since i do still feel pretty new to the rp game, theres still plenty of time for me to make stupid mistakes). if its just a general lack of interest or uncertainty of where the plot should go, then you dont have to tell me i wont take it personally i promise !
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: sometimes i can be made uncomfortable by certain things mentioned... it happens but its rare
- WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. i don’t want to upset anyone personally and sometimes explaining the ins and outs of my discomfort make things ten times worse so i just. would rather not.
IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.
- AND WHY?: i am the most nervous person you can meet and my brain is always giving me misinfo abt paranoia and random shit so i having clear concrete communication between two parties abt if something is going wrong or is being received poorly means the world to me.
ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGA1TIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: i need it !! i still feel relatively new to all this and i need to know whats going wrong to improve !!
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.
WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: to help with my confidence in writing! i have v bad anxiety when it comes to sharing my works and i write a lot of other pieces alongside this blog on ao3 and i want to develop my writing skills just in general. when it comes to like the nuts and bolts of why i rp giselle specifically, its mainly to just have fun and have a laugh w my friends who are really awesome quincy writers
WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS: OH SO MANY! ive managed to fulfil a lot of my wishlist threads with like, giselle talking to characters she’s already zombified and i love all that angst but i want to do more stupid shit. i want to make it my personal goal to bully every quincy man and woman on sight. although a REAL dream would be if i got to write a thread zombifying a character who managed to escape giselle’s clutches. and more fighting! i want to get better at describing action and fights and i love to write giselle getting beat up and beating people up! more more more!!
THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE: hohoho theres a LOT... uh r*pe/dubcon threads for one, even if yeah i know writing it doesnt condone it, it makes me intensely uncomfortable to put my muse in that scenario, i feel like i have an obligation to like, protect her from that shit you know? racism is one i don’t want to transgress, even though i’m a poc, its not really cathartic or groundbreaking to write abt racism in threads its just... really fucking upsetting. also i know the quincy’s have this very close parallel to the whole n*zi imagery and ideology thing going on and i am not about to start even daring to thread that into my writing or bring those allusions and references of real life tragedies into giselle’s threads. i’ve already talked at length abt exploring giselles trans identity in rp and why im not comfortable doing so, so.... yeah! all those i guess.
WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: i like starters where giselle can just immediately get right into being a piece of shit. mise en scene and all that! cut out the build up and just get to the intense horror !! i don’t like starters where its not immediately clear where the characters are standing and what they’re doing and what’s happening around them. those really disorientate me and leave me kinda floundering because i always need some allusion or mention of a setting to ground giselle in a time and place other wise i cant tell what her response should be
WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?: EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN. also just characters i can wholeheartedly clown on, or also characters who have hidden depths to them and have a single panel of screentime. honestly it’s just all over the place!
WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?: angry old men GSADJDKSJA i could never rp yhwach for example or yamamoto because idk. theyre just so crummy and boring to me. i also couldnt rp characters who always have an upper hand in battle like aizen. i like my dumbasses and i like them stupid and adaptive not just, ‘yes i know this because i Know this.’
WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: i think im nice...? FKSJDKDJSA idk i hate trying to toot my own horn. sometimes i also think i make funny jokes and im pretty chill and laid back
WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: my writing style is inconsistent and adapts to whatever i’m reading so sometimes it’ll be really good and i love it and other times it reads like really bad fanfic and i get carried away far too easily and write novella lengths for threads which should be much shorter. i also get shy a lot and dont think i communicate very effectively but HEYO we’re working on it!
DO YOU RP SMUT?: YES / NO/ DEPENDS. haven’t had anybody brave enough to try yet lol
DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.
ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO.
- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: more for fun i’d imagine because that’s just giselles own attitude to sex and relationships where she doesnt want anything deep. it might show character development in one way of just showing how she regards others in a romantic sense to be used rather than actually appreciated as their own person and show how selfish she is but yeah, more out of fun
- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?: theres a few kinks and such but i dont think they’d ever really come up. again, just mainly no r*pe/dubcon.
ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?: YES / NO lets hope this doesn’t make me sound like an asshole, but its more like a fun little side thing than anything important to giselle’s actual development and characterisation.
WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. again, hardly anyone is brave enough to try to romance this evil cannibal.
DO YOU USE READ MORE?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.
ARE YOU: MULTI-SHIP / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship — MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.
- WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: more how giselle likes to give over her power or dominate in different circumstances depending on who she’s with and what’s being done. BUT AGAIN, not a whole lot to explore yet.
ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. - i mean im down for p much anything if it vibes w giselle.
► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.
- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: if you want an evil woman to taunt and mock and hurt your muse, she’s your gal. you want her to zombify and ruin your muse, shes also your gal. you want her to insult and maim and injure, she’s also YOUR GAL. basically, if you want to do anything fucked up or sad or scary, she can help with that.
- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?: uh muses who get really angry quickly or don’t rise or respond to her jabs and are just kinda like a flatline. theres only so much pestering and annoying she can do until realises its not working and just wanders off
- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?: to find a goal worth living for.
- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?: appearance she always takes an interest in girls almost right away. age as well because she judges old people.
- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?: a good set of guts to ruin and strong muscles.
- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?: women, gore, murder, herself, music, stupid memes, gossip.
- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?: politics, history, quincy ideology, soul reaper ideology, hollow physiology.
- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?: her family tried to force the burden of upholding the quincy lineage onto her shoulders, she was thrown into the wrong prison and held in isolation, then pressured to become an undying monster in service of a god and then was nearly killed by that same man and left wandering without guidance or purpose. so, yeah?
- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?: transphobia. even a whiff of it in her direction and she’ll gut you like a fish.
- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?: the twink soul reaper who outted her.
IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: if you’re smart, you’ll bring a big bone for her to chew on and distract her while you ask whatever you want.
SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: i love my evil queen!
CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥
Tagged by: @bazzardburner cheers chicken boy !!
Tagging: @hyouketsu @blooming5th @viciousvizard @glacies-tempestatem and whoever else wishes to do this!!
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hhhhhhxh
more abt hxh bc my last post was too long n i had to split it off holla
so i left off talking abt when gon woke up....i love how polite gon is to pretty much everyone - hes such a good lad all the time. s/o to his aunt for raising him right (tho i think hes also just a rlly good boy inherently too)
also is he named gon bc ging was like ha ha im boutta be GONe lol seeya kid!!!! like ????
i find it interesting that kurapika and hisoka fought....we really havent seen them interact at all yet. also hisoka is so smirk-y i hate that bitch...what did he say to kurapika??????
this poor red shirt old guy lmao hisoka is SO clearly uninterested in fighting him and then he fucking dies. rip mdude
what did hisoka whisper to HIM??? guess we’ll never know #RIPLegend
oh mannnn if killua had just won against pokkle then he wouldnt have had to deal with illumi doing That to him :( my smug son......
leorio is such a good dude....also its so funny to me how tall and lanky leorio is, espec compared to the other 3 main characters lmaoooo
or maybe those 3 are just rlly short??? i mean gon and killua are literally 12, but whats kurapikas excuse
GODDDD I HATE THIS BIIIIITCH. FUCK OFFFFFFF tho the evil piano music slaps. but jeeeeesus illumi is so creepy and awful, and seeing him take off his disguise is not any better a second time...he and hisoka truly deserve each other wrow
does illumi have hair powers??? cause it kinda looks like it. or maybe hes just gay and dramatic
ok but the sick electric guitar riff (?) that played when illumis face was revealed was lowkey kinda hilarious
man i was so wrong abt killua knowing that that was illumi :( poor kid
killua is immediately freaking out and meanwhile illumi looks bored as hell. dude ur the worst
killua: [freaking out] illumi, completely blank-faced: hey
I HATE HIMMMM even tho his catman design is regrettably kinda cute
why do illumi and hisoka both have such snatched waists i hate this
wtf so killua has another different brother??? i assumed he attacked illumi....how many fuckgin zoldyk sibling are there?????
leorio ur too normie for this conversation lmao. also wow fucked up family huh
killua looks so like...small and helpless, which is so at odds from what we’ve seen of him so far :( this poor kid
illumi totally has some weird brain powers man callin it now
gon: wow killuas family sounds wack... satotz: oh lmao you havent even heard the rest
KILLUA ;_;
this poor baby assassin :( :( :(
IMMM INCONSOLABLE. HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS W/GON.......ARE YOU KIDDING....AUGHHHHHHHH
meanwhile gon decided he and killua are BEST FRIENDS like 10 mins after they met. GOD
like in the recap ep he called killua his best friend ;_; and meanwhile killua doesnt even think they ARE friends god destroy me
this calming classical music is throwing me off vbhjfjhbsdkgndks
i sense that leorio and kurapika are rapidly acquiring a new son
DAMN THIS IS SO FUUUUCKEDDDDD illumi is such a crusty bitch wow. leave killua alone asshole
all that stuff abt killua like, only thinking he wants to befriend gon but really wanting to kill him....that sure sounds like some ‘worst fears’ type of shit for someone like killua....illumi is such a classic abuser wow
i have 2 know is satotz like, repeating this entire conversation verbatim in a calming monotone to gon rn. like....
LEORIOOOOO I LOVE UUUUUUUU AUGHHHH him telling killua it doesnt matter if illumi is his brother, fuck that guy, beat him up as usual and leave.....ooooughhhh leorio is such a good dude ;_;
and the OF COURSE him saying the obvious - that gon and killua are ALREADY friends....i love this, i feel like leorio said all the exact things the audience is thinking...yet it still didnt get thru to killua bc hes so rattled by illumi appearing, and the abuse in general
i think if gon were there things wouldve gone much differently
of COURSE crusty bitch illumi is like oh ok now i have to kill gon.....biiiiitch i hate uuuuu
also that just shows that hes lying to killua (which we already knew obvs), bc if it were inevitable that killua would kill gon to like, test himself or w/e, then why not just wait for that to happen? that would have a much bigger impact on killua than illumi killing gon....its obvious that illumi is just manipulating him, but killua is too BSOD to be able to tell (also, hes 12)
ok bitch illumi is preaching abt not needing friends but he and hisoka are definitely fucking and theyve been teamed up for the entire hunter exam it seems.....what a hypocrite. hate this guy
god im so glad we didnt rlly get to see whatever the fuck illumi did to that random hunter examiner guy’s face. jeeeeesus. also i cant tell but i wonder if him forcing that info out of the guy was the result of his freaky mind powers or if the guy was just like oof ouch pins in me face
LEORIO AND KURAPIKAAAA THE PROTECT GON SQUAD!! and joined by new member hanzo!!! who ironically beat gon up for 3 hours str8 like, a very short amount of time ago lmao. but still i love that sm
illumi u dumb bitch.....tho i dont buy for a minute that he didnt already realize that killing gon would disqualify him...he defs just wanted to get under killuas skin even more :^(
KILLUAAAA ;_; when he goes to step back from illumi but illumi tells him not to....ughhh HATE this guy, leave this poor kid alone. no wonder he wanted to leave
illumi saying theres only 1 way that killua can stop him - does he mean by killing him, or something more specific, like some forbidden zoldyk murder technique?
‘your beloved gon’ wow gay. theyre 12 and theyre dating ok. killua is literally that kid whos like wow i wonder if gon likes me...and meanwhile gon is like wow cant believe me and killua have been dating for 3 months now
leorio saying ‘we wont let him kill you or gon’ ;_; leorio ily sm...thats like the exact right thing to say - hes offering protection and reassurance as an adult figure...unfortunately killua is clearly too freaked out to even process anything outside of illumis gaslighting and abuse
also illumi is defs doing something to killua w/his eyes via his freaky mind powers. js
illumi i hate you stop being weirdly cute. augh
classic abuse tactics, being like ha ha nvm i wasnt gonna kill gon! jk!
killua just shutting down completely after that :( :( noooo
and then he kills that old guy and leaves, ‘proving’ that illumi is right....noooooOOOO
and now we boutta see gon go FULL shounen protag for the first time, oh FUCKKKKKK yesssss
this is the first time we’ve seen gon angry oooh man and of COURSE its on killuas behalf,....im so fuckign emo already looooord
god ok the episode preview where its gon saying ‘do leorio and i look alike?’ YES U DO LOL youre father and son so jot that down
oof, gon and illumi have such fundamentally different POVs on like, family and life and morals, and you can tell by their 4-line exchange before gon does the ICONIC one-handed grab’n’fling
AUGHHHH gon saying hes gonna rescue killua....SO good...he recognizes that killuas family is wack as hell and killua shouldnt be w/them - the classic ingrained ‘found family is more important than blood family’ stuff
tho thats an interesting contrast to gon himself, whos looking for his deadbeat dad
‘but it wasnt his choice’ that so good ily gon BEST boy, hes so perceptive and good......he knows that killuas hand was forced and that he needs to be RESCUED (love that word choice) from his shitty abusive family
of course kurapika and leorio voiced complaints ;_; best parents
kurapika should be a lawyer tbh
leorioooo ;_; such a good dude, saying he should be disqualified instead
HOW is leorio a stronger combatant than that old dude hvbajufjbsja that guy had some moves it seemed, and leorio has,....a knife? a briefcase? the classic premed attitude of ‘fuck it, i could die anytime, lets do this’? like.....cmon vhabjdfjbhsf i refuse to believe this man is of any use in a fight. ill believe it when i see it
pokkle pls ur not plot-important enough to be jumping into this convo rn
tho i am curious abt what hisoka said to kurapika. tho i agree that thats irrelevant to the discussion
gon repeating satotz’s wisdom :’) and saying that killua will definitely pass if he takes the exam again...ough
gon is SO GOOD i cant get over it !!!!!!!!! AUGHHHH....recusing killua from his abusive family and making it so killua never has to see them again is like...so good. what a good good perfect boy.
also thats like, the perfect response to this. killing illumi would just start a ton of drama, and killua would be conflicted abt that....but removing killua from his situation is perfect
ok ive ranted a lot ill talk abt the rest later woohoo
PREDICTIONS:
i predict that hisoka will show up in this upcoming zoldyk arc somewhere bc illumis gonna be in it (i assume) and theyre dating. also hisoka is a central character so itd make sense for him to show up in the second major arc. tho tbh this could end up being completely false and i wouldnt be that shocked lmao
i think leorio is gonna get Big Sad someday bc hes like, so normal compared to the other MCs, and also hes suuuuch a bleeding heart (i love him....) so i feel like thats gonna lead to some sadness for him once his friends start doing crazy shit or w/e
also i predict that if he gets nen itll be like healing nen or st. does that even exist??? idk jack shit abt nen lmao
i think that illumi has hypnosis powers or something, even just based on design alone. it could defs be for aesthetic (character design in hxh is wild), but his eyes look noticeably different from any other characters. also he was doing some freaky shit to killua. also i held this prediction before seeing the part where this is brought up so we’ll see if its right lmao
as for this upcoming arc - ruth and i are wondering if itll be similar to the vinsmoke drama in one piece - character goes back to abusive family, squad goes to rescue them...and then character refuses to be recused. w/sanji it was partially bc the vinsmokes threatened to kill zeff, his TRUE dad, but i predict in this case it could be more like the zoldyks saying ‘look killua these 3 weirdos showed up looking for you, convince them to leave or we’ll kill them’ and killua will be like, oh shit bc like.....think abt it. the vinsmokes targeted zeff (and not the strawhats) bc they knew they could easily kill him. same goes here, i assume - a family of trained assassins vs Good Good Fishing Rod Smell-Power Boy (who hasnt thrown a single punch yet), Lanky Dr Man With A Switchblade We Havent Seen Him Use Onscreen, and Mx 2 Wooden Sticks, Bloodlust, and Arachnophobia - 3 For 1 Deal! its a no-contest. so thats one thing i could see happening, potentially
im way too tired to remember my other predictions rip lmao
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@tllthesundies HAPPY BIRTHDAY BITCH!!!🎉💖🌸💞🎂✨💌💖💞💗🎊🎉🍾💗🎂💕💖✨🎊💖🌹🍾🎉💘💕💌🌻❤️✨🌷💞🎉❤️💝🎂💘
so for this special occasion i used my amazing photoshop paint skills to make u this taylourry manip since there’s an unfortunate lack of those:/ they’re baking you three (3) cakes how great is that😫 louis, of course, asked ‘how do you whisk’ all three times and taylor n harry just shared a look and fondly rolled their eyes at him. i like to imagine they were singing along to britney classics and also laughing about how louis’ album and lyrics will shake us to our core bc they live for that drama👀 and cant wait to watch us freak out. of course at some point louis started throwing flour at taylor &harry which ended up in a messy kitchen fight.
thanks for reading my mini taylourry fic excuse the lack of angst i kno you live for that shit but anyways as i was saying, happy birthday bith! i hope u have a great one!! i cant believe you've turned 20 today🤧 you were already settling down at the old age of 19 an now you’re entering the final Grandma stage *kylie jenner dabbing tears.gif* as an og violin i feel blessed to have followed ur journey and watched you grow up & to have experienced ur crazy crackhead days which i lowkey miss sometimes it was truly a blast with ur shit posts and you saying things that still haunt me in my sleep. since im getting Sentimental™ you know what else i miss in this chilis today? you getting asks & Interacting on here bc i recall thats what started my soft spot for u. you’re [louis voice] genuinely Genuinely one of the sweetest people ive seen on here like everytime you called someone crouton or replied with a row of heart emoji’s my heart grew 10 sizes bigger💗💗 i hate that my memory is shit and there’s no blog/archive anymore(rip in pieces we’ll get to that later) that i can search thru for those Receipts but i know not one (1) mean word has ever left your mouth, or keybord in this case, those are the Facts #confirmed by me! even back in the day when i was blissfully unaware of any drama and this hellsite was just a happy place u still stood out to me bc when you answered asks or whatever you were just so nice! kind! and sweet! and funny too i feel like u raised me on memes (i also appreciate that u tolerate me w my crusty sense of humor and memes from 2013) and tbh when i saw you were younger than me i was Shook bc you felt like an older sister to me with wise words and just this calm&kind presence on tumblr dot com where everyone always takes offense u were idk the word..... rational/nuanced/patient/understanding? ive thought it many times before but if everyone here were a bit more like you this place would be a nice valley filled with blossoming flowers sawying in a gentle breeze on a warm spring day🌻🌷🌸 (i know u prefer fall so u can represent a Quality Leaf too if u want and i’ll ship you w niall #neaf) anyway as my melancholic ass was saying, i sometimes miss @harryandlouisofficial /harryandlouisau? idk you’ve had your fair share of changes(as i was searching through my own blog for a certain pic i came across some deactivated urls that i think were yours lsdknvds) but that harryandlouis brand™ was truly You and just such a familiarity on my dash and tbh if i come across any blogs that start w harryandlouis im always side eyeing them for that copyright infringement of intellectual property. Even before we really started talking i already felt like i knew you bc you were always....out there...talking, yellin n sprouting bullshit which was [me as that gif of pam from the office tearing up] beautiful😫 like i didnt even know about the existence of the vampire diaries but u were practically screaming about it on a daily basis and lowkey got me to crush on nina dobrev bc of it also ur love for tom odell, soup, domestic hl, Angst, the midnight memories album, that purple suit harry wore to the late late show, birdy, those literature ppl whose names im not even gonna bother with, and of course taylourry & how do you whisk, they’re all filed under ‘Things That Belong To Violet’ and i kno yelling about thing or reblogging ask memes or doing those tag things doesnt go with ur Brand but i wish it did bc there’s so much i wanna know or ask or just see what you think about things👀 u could make a post saying ‘potato’ and eventho id disagree id still be over here giving a standing ovation
this is getting long im so sorry snlkdfnsld i was going somewhere but im kinda losing the plot. So anyhow the point was that ur an angel! and idk also intimidating to me back in the day? ive sent my fair share of anons (nice ones of course nskldnsf) and i vaguely rmr asking for advice a few times too and you were always so kind n wonderful🤧 and then one day i sent smth nice off anon and you followed me back even with the ugly ass url i had back then lfnvslknsd bless you and now here we are:) so i love getting sentimental and reminiscing about the old days but also know that i admire u for jus deleting and starting afresh! kween of rebranding!👏👏 and this tiddiesundays era feels like ur a professional business woman or maybe more like a professional writer who has that clean & calm aesthetic down to a T and i might’ve turned notifs on so i wont miss that one quality (1) post per day sdlknlksdn i love showing my Love thru liking and rb’ing a lot so you make it hard on me sometimes(rmr when we were each other biggest fans? good times😫) but jus kno my heart’s still beating the same yes thats a sad attempt at a oial ref bc that is also filed under the things that belong to u. i dont wanna like, overwhelm? you bc im sometimes afraid ill b too much but know that im always out here rooting for u &hoping that ur doing great bc this bitch has a lot of love and adoration for u!!💗 i know some v sweet people on here but you are just.....on another level like just your presence here clears my skin and puts a big smile on my face esp when u drag me or vice versa for having certain Opinons (like the 1d album or song discourse) dont @ me but ur truly one of my favorite people. One day when you give me the go ahead im gonna send you that card/letter and i’ll get even sappier (yes thats possible!) i was gonna wish you a sunny day but for some reason u love rain so...i hope it rains:’) or else you can move your ass over here so at least one of us can appreciate the dutch weather also i would toast to you but i think ur still not legally allowed to drink which is also a reason to get ur ass over here bc i feel like you’d be a blast to get drunk with (also shout out to you for indulging me in my wine aunt moments u were truly there for me when no one else was🤧came thru with lyrics to tmh bops faster than lightning ill never forget that!) so to conclude this Essay i lov u & hope u have an amazing birthday *serenades you with tom odell songs*💗💕💖💘💗💕💖💝💗💞💘💕💞💖💕💗💝💖💘💞💕💗
#*cracks knuckles* HERE WE GO#u better make yourself a cup of tea and get some snacks this is gonna be a long ride#i feel like i had a clear outline of things i wanted to say but ended up forgetting all of that and instead we got.......this#this MESS violet sweetie im so sorry#i kno this is v Extra already but im gonna be highkey annoyed with myself if tomorrow something pops in my head like shoot i forgot to#mention that! so i might add to the tagsnslkdnvdls idk i love an excuse to show all my love and appreciation😫 and this is IT#also im sorry for being so late this took me a While bc im incapable of simple cutting n pasting in paint or putting my thoughts into words#me: i need to stop this is Too Much#also me: but is it enough?
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stupid very long ravagers/yondu GOTG post
OK UH u guys know this is my Wont Shut the Fuck Up Dome so here we go:
I have a headcanon based on Kraglin’s interactions w Peter and the cut line from the end of the movie where hes giving him the Zune and Krag says “just like when we were kids” and i REALLY like the concept of Krag and Peter being like 2 scrappy kids growing up on the ship, maybe Kraglin having been older like teenageish when they picked Peter up on Earth. I think Kraglin was in a similar situation to Yondu when he joined the Ravagers (like many i assume) and was given the whole rundown of the Code and everything, and then immediately started throwing his whole heart into becoming the best Ravager and crew member possible. That’s where the resentment started to grow when they picked up Peter, since he was this little snot nosed kid who probably wanted to go home and didn’t want any part in the Ravagers; since to Kraglin it was the opportunity of his life and he had so much loyalty to Yondu and the Code and whatnot, he must’ve been incredibly annoyed at Peter for acting that way. Krag also had no context for a loving blood-family or fond memories of home (like most of the crew I would think) so Peter’s homesickness and rejection of the Ravager lifestyle would probably not have made any sense to him. Still, the line that was cut is “(Alice Cooper) seems kinda angry, but kinda like the stuff we felt when we were kids..” so I think they still managed to bond over their shitty childhoods and angsty teen feelings. The difference though is that Peter would and could backtalk/disobey Yondu a whole lot more than Kraglin was willing to or thought he could get away with. I don’t think Kraglin or any of them nessecarily thought about the fact that these were still formative years in Peter’s life, since they probably all hadn’t been afforded any sort of ‘normal’ upbringing/childhood.
I also think the Zune (even tho in the film it was p much just a funny joke abt that shitty electronic lol) was so so telling of Yondu’s true conflicted fatherly feelings abt Peter. In GoTG1 we understand Yondu has a lot of hesitation about killing Peter as he would any other deserter, and imo in the scene where Peter bargains for the Ravagers to help take down Ronin it seemed like Yondu was waiting for him to say that exact thing, as if they were both playing a part in this performance so that the crew wouldn’t catch on to the favoritism. But the symbology of the Zune; Yondu going out of his way to get something extremely rare and meaningful for Peter during his absence in the hopes of him coming back one day but being too emotionally stunted himself to actually reach out to his son, makes me wanna die lol.
ALSO side note - seeing that Ego’s car was bright blue and orange like the Milano made me think - we know Peter learned to drive the Milano starting when he was 10. Which means that about a year into his stay with the Ravagers, Yondu not only taught him how to pilot an M-ship at that time, but also either let him pick out which one he wanted, or got him a custom paint job. I just think that is sweet/something small stuck in there to indicate how Peter’s upbringing really went.
The Ravagers being very emotionally stunted Feelings Boys is also my fave fucking thing abt the movie bc it applies to all of them as well as Rocket, Peter, and actually most of the Guardians crew. Not in a ‘its cute that these characters have issues expressing their feelings’ way bc thats gross, but just bc that representation hit home very very hard for me. Even though these scenes were also joking, whenever the Ravagers are shown being silly together, sleeping together, being sensitive in their downtime, etc., its so telling of a community that silently acknowledges the fact that they are all putting on a farce to deal w their own emotional traumas and shortcomings, and that silent acknowledgment is what allows some or most of them to connect on meaningful levels. All of this being under a moral Code that almost gives them an excuse to not be evil or “too mean”, because personally I don’t think any of them want to be. That’s why I think Taserface incited such a nasty aspect of the Ravagers; he took the outward image too far and wasn’t at all tuned into the sense of community in the crew. Its a weird balance but I think its what held Yondu’s crew together for so long, and something that all the captains value. I think Taserface’s mutiny was an example of some of the “worst eggs” identifying and getting rid of the “best eggs” on the crew, and I think Yondu unfortunately knew that the balance had been overturned; a point of no return had been reached.
The Guardians are doing this emotionally repressed shit but Better bc they are learning the value of being open w one another, and I think the tight-knit size of the group also allows for this. However i really really think that the parallels between Peter and Yondu in the context of being a part of a group of Assholes with Issues is very very big.
Back to the terrible heart wrenching Yondu HCs- I think the last line Yondu says is actually a really accurate reflection of what he’s been feeling “I’m damn lucky you was my boy.” To me, Yondu only really came to terms with how much he cared for Peter after he left to do his own thing. I really feel that in the events after the first movie when Peter has his own ‘crew’ is when Yondu would’ve begun to feel the emptiness of that hole and realize just how much he had benefited in the heart from having a ‘son’ all those years. He may have taught Peter all this skills and given him the resources he needed to succeed, but he could only consider Peter to be ‘ungrateful’ while he was still around. I don’t think Yondu understood the value of their relationship to him until after it was too late. And of course since he had never been vocal about any of his feelings and probably was incredibly coarse about receiving any affection from Peter, he was trapped. I think it was in this period of time that the crew started believing Yondu to be weak - seeing him buy expensive Terran trinkets, noticing him be more and more despondent, maybe overhearing/witnessing him attempting to make calls to Peter that were never returned, just in general not keeping up his image well enough for them to also feel confident and comfortable.
Anyways thats half of my Pirate/Space Pirate TED talk and half of my Why Michael Rooker’s Portrayal of Space Dad Brought my Depression Back monologue. thank u
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blogs/mutuals you love??
oh boy this one is going to be,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, long
obviously my best bub my a+ pal the owner of my favorite pup @iiemo–mermaidii has !!! the key to my hort i can always talk to her about absolutely anything and she’ll just run w it!!! sometimes i’ll rant to her for hours about something stupid and she wont even get mad?? what an angel also i may have turned her brother into an ailee stan which i dont apologize for at all bu t any wa y i love her hekk
also !! @parkyoongay shilpi is th best person to scream w about tbh anything because even if she doesnt know what im talking about she’ll pretend to be enthusiastic so that i wont feel bad about screaming to her,,,, also we share a common love for b99 which means in the next month we’ll be crying for h o u r s together and i look forward to it!
nd @tasty-taetae honestly,,,, god tier friend who else would just run w it whenever i cry to her about some obscure concept that nobody else even remotely gets,,, also i ask her stupid art questions and she never makes fun of me so bless her soul for that and !!!! she has the patience to read through all my writing and edit it?? and my first drafts are consistently terrible?? an angel truly
@stardustfootsteps !!! shakthi, even though she hates bread nd swedish fish and for some reason actually likes avocados,,,,, is such a lovely person !!! i always feel like conversation w her flows really easily? like whether we’re talking abt like idk music or food or the heckin weather im always engaged and for someone w my attention span that’s uhhh extremely hard to do anyway i love shakthi w my whole heart wow
@snugglesterr !!! yukati’s always sosososo kind every interaction i’ve had w her has been super positive and uplifting nd that ask she sent me earlier,,, i dont even think i can express how grateful i was wow i love her so much and!!!! her art!!!! incredible!!! showstopping!!! amazing!!!! she’s so talented omg her style is so cool nd wow im amazed she’s truly a talented lovely human being nd im so glad i know her
@8hao ;;; lani, a real actual angel whomst the world must protect,, my fellow bread/rice/pineapple pizza enthusiast,,, she’s so ??? kind?? like she spreads positivity to all her mutuals and followers so effortlessly it’s wow?? also she’s the cutest minghao stan i ever knew !!! her love for him could light up the universe heck and she’s s o funny hsfndf oh my gosh wow anyway i love lani but so does !!! everyone bc she’s such a lovely person!!
@jinnies !! nidhi and i started talking fairly recently, but we’ve been mutuals for i think almost the entire summer? which is wild anyway !!! she’s really really funny omg her memes? god tier nd she’s always so kind!!! about everything!! she just like?? oozes niceness ig and like whenever i talk to her i feel strangely comforted? idk but heck i love her
@honeyjihoons is another !! god tier mutual honestly i wish i could talk to renee more bc she seems so sweet nd funny and her love for jihoon? incredible wow she’s exactly the type of stan he deserves her tags are amazing nd !!! she’s such a good singer wow heck she posted a video once i think? and idk if she took it down but she’s s o talented omg
ahh that’s all im going to list for now because this is getting too long but also !!! i love @platniclove bc kiki is too kind for this universe and her mbs? gorgeous and she’s so funny nd cool and even though she forced me 2 use the most embarrassing voice i’ve ever used i cherish and adore her wow i really love her w my entire being and more
ok i promise that’s it but!!! for blogs i look up to / blog crushes there’s : @howlingremus @delacourr @njmphadora @lilyevcans @thlestrals @awjily nd @hjppogriff !!!
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