#you all know me i am definitely imagining odile looping here

[beneathsilverstars]

i’ve seen plenty of alt-looper AUs where sapfrin’s wish resulted in someone else looping, assisted by starry loop. and i’ve seen plenty where isatfrin or one of their party members made some kind of wish that resulted in additional people remembering the loops.

but

how about an au where sapfrin’s wish resulted in someone else looping, while sapfrin remained in the role of siffrin? either now there’s two loopers in the party, or, the ability to remember new loops is what transferred, so siffrin wakes up every time with their last memory being the wish for help.

this siffrin is just so ground down and not siffrin anymore. but without becoming loop, they’d keep trying to act the part, which is easy enough when they’ve got a script, but… the more the other looper switches things up, the more siffrin will struggle. the other looper will want to help them, but what can even be done when they're still stuck in the loops??

if siffrin still remembers new loops, then they have to keep going through the fucking house even after they reached their breaking point. but at least there’s hope now? but is there really? and now, for the first time in years, they have to deal with someone else being able to remember their actions, and this person knows about the time loops. siffrin definitely isn’t going to be jumping to confide in them, despite how desperately they need the help — will they even tell them that they’d been looping for ages already?? even if they try not to, it’ll eventually become obvious something is going on.

or if siffrin doesn’t remember new loops anymore… how would the new looper handle it? how many times do they explain that they’re looping now instead before they stop bothering with it? or does not explaining means siffrin freaks out too much at the looper abandoning the script entirely for no apparent reason? but there’s no way they won’t freak out upon learning that they’ve just doomed someone else to live out this hell in their stead, that’s quite the news to have to break every single time. perhaps there’s an in-between that would work?? lying about what’s changed, or following the script until they suddenly deviate, then immediately loop back once done with the deviation? they have all the time they need to workshop it, at least.

either way, this siffrin is probably gonna be even less help than loop was. at least loop got to chill out at the favor tree and think — siffrin doesn't have that luxury. and while the new looper will be bringing in a fresh perspective, they simply don't know the things one needs to know about siffrin in order to figure out these siffrin-based loops. and, at this point, siffrin might not anymore either! it's been years since they made their wish. that doesn't make it unsolvable, especially since it's possible to get out by pure chance. but it'll be hard, especially since siffrin has even more intense reactions than isatfrin, as evidenced by them not even making it to euphrasie before looping back.

what a fun little bad time for everyone ^^

[amaya-143]

hello. part two of me ranting about the fear of memory loss in isat. is it that obvious i have autism?

part one was about the kings fear of forgetting. Go read. *clicks my fingers like a cat* go.

disclaimer not a psychiatrist blahh blahhhh u get the idea :p king rant was long, this will be longer. maybe one singular person is as normal as i am about this game and will enjoy. otherwise at least its out of my system and into words

So yeah, the king is afraid of forgetting. Siffrin, however, is afraid of being forgotten.

Siffrin, is late 20s, and just like the king lost the majority of their memories to the island.The people they loved, all that jazz i don't need to write the cinematics again. They too end up in an unfamiliar place, however they end up a rouge. They travel from city to city, never staying anywhere solid, never making any real connections for years (at least as far as we know.) To him, he is just a guy* who lost everything that they knew, and that's that. No point if it'll just happen again. In fact im not even sure if they're aware they're from that island, since I'm pretty sure he learns it ingame. He just exists. Thats it. Their life doesn't matter, doesn't impact anyone. He is forgettable

But then, they meet Mira, Odile, and Isa. Then Bonnie, and when things couldn't get more confusing, he loses an eye for them. The party loves Siffrin, even if they never say it pregame. They appreciate him. And even if Frin doesn't think it directly, they definitely subconsciously believe it pregame. Otherwise, it wouldn't be such a shock when odile says they're colleagues at best. So how can Siffrin go back to his old life? A life on the go, with no connections, nothing but the millisecond bumps into strangers and polite conversations with the clerk at the hotel desk. Nobody to come home to, no one to ask how their day was.

Its like trying chocolate after eating coco beans all your life. Maybe you can tolerate going back to coco beans for a bit, but you'll never forget the chocolate. It'll be something you think about all the time, your thought before sleep takes you, as tiktok would say your 'roman empire'.

So Siffrin cannot let them go back home. He wishes to stay with them. and thus, the loops happen.But after a bit he, quote, 'understands the king more than he'd like to'

He refuses to be forgotten, to have to go back to that life. They've lived the span of their memories being so blindingly forgettable, now someone, some people see them and its so close in his grasp. Isabeau is so close to confessing to him. Mirabelle is so close to her full potential as a housemaiden. Odile is accepting she's more than her roots. And Bonnie, the kid he lost an eye for, disabling him permentantly, HUGGED them. a massive deal for a fella whos been living off small talk and avoiding eye contact for the last 10 years. Just one more loop, if they do it all right then just maybe..

Not here to talk abt the loops. moving on.

After all these people who love him, they don't wanna be forgotten. Trauma isn't just a factor in disorders. Trauma can, and often does create its own reactions. For a real world example, Children who grow up with absent parents often react with avoiding and distancing tendencies, where as children with emotionally unstable parents tend to grow to be anxiously attached to those they love. These aren't disorders, but they are a reaction to the trauma faced and ingraned. Frin's fear of being forgotten is just as much a trauma response as it is a result of the way he lives. Who knows how many people Siffrin forgot in the island. What's stopping him from being like them? What's stopping him from being so forgettable.

Side note, act 5 is next to the Sunny vs Basil fight as my favorite two scenes in games, especially when it comes to imagining/reading about them in other characters povs other than the mains. And bigfrin is my absolute joy in the world. not sorry.

But after loops n loops of trying to prevent it, hearing off handed comments about how bonnie hates them, and how isa will say i love you to anyone except him, Sif's self worth is at an all-time low. They just don't have it in them anymore. They cant do it. we're looking at months of living the same two days over and over. Same lines. Same people. Same events. Years, if you're an insane person who does like 500+ loops. I think most people did like 70-150 though. Siffrin has been reliving this for so long he's begun to find comfort in it. It feels safe. Its boring, its insufferable, yes, but its SAFE. After suffering all those months, they're leaving anyway. They are going home. They will go home and forget Sif and it will all be for nothing. When Odile stops them from looping back, they strike. Either at themselves, or those they love. They would literally rather attack those they've gone through months of suffering just to spend more time with, or attack themselves time after time till it kills them. They'd rather it than risk them all leaving and forgetting him. I don't really have much more to say i guess i just ugh

i love act 5 i love bigfrin and if theres any writers reading this write some act 5 from other party members pov and you will get the juciest kiss.

if you read all this way, congrats!! i diagnose you with autism 💜

*guy is used as a unisex. i know the correct term for siffrin is fella. i went to gender school.