#yomi is so goofy but like not on purpose like

[highoncatfood]

[tobiasdrake]

Tell me about security, Makoto. This is going to be useful information, I'm sure.

Right, you were telling me that before. This is the front chamber. We can just sorta walk in, and from here we can use this intercom to buzz Huesca, for business purposes or to irritate him for fun.

Fascinated by the couches on either side of the room. What possible function could this room serve that necessitates cushy reclining opportunities? If anything, I'd think they make it easier to hang out for a bit and wait for Huesca to come out so you can harass him in person.

Is that why he stopped leaving the lab?

Okay, but why tho.

No, I get that. You go through the door and the deadly killing machines turn you into swiss cheese. Huesca was clear on that point.

But. Like. Why not lock it anyway? What's being accomplished by not locking it? You said Huesca hasn't left the lab in months so it's not like it'd inconvenience him to lock the door. What's the purpose of leaving it unlocked?

Did your evil lab architect accidentally forget to put a lock on this door? So now the deadly trap chambers are the Villain Lair Design equivalent of brushing yourself off from a faceplant and going, "I, uh, I meant to do that."

Went so hard on designing the three deadly trap rooms that one of them isn't actually a trap at all; It's just there to insulate the rest of the lab from the fucking traps.

Y'all know there are a copious amount of deadly traps that don't get bored and wander? This seems like an unnecessary risk to take.

Weird judgment call to make. Any intruder that manages to penetrate this deep into y'all's business is worth interrogating. Can't interrogate a corpse. Huesca seems more concerned with weird spite than his own self-interest.

...given our brief conversation with the man, that checks out.

So you'd need to go full scuba to get past the gas. Can't trust a filter; You need a fully-sealed oxygen supply.

And not just the mask; We're talking full diving suit. Big goofy helmet and everything.

*snaps fingers* I've got it. Shachi killed Dr. Huesca. Case solved. :P

So. It's. Like. Most gases, then. I guess that can be considered a failure, sure. Huesca's in there kicking himself for not managing to create gas that retains its shape indefinitely.

Which means a Person of Interest could be killed by this room but still go on to do things that will affect the case before they go. We need to keep that in mind.

The hell does that mean? What kind of offensive capabilities does a room full of death deep in your facility offer? Do you hand out invitations to political enemies like, "Hey, come get state secrets, they're in this one specific room! It's going to be left conspicuously unguarded because it's Yomi's birthday and everyone's off celebrating! Now's your chance!"

What kind of hideous Resident Evil dystopia is poor Fuckboy working in? Even though the lab is guarded by the ultra-deadly super-gas emitters, you still have to play laser Simon to even enter the lab.

Why is the keypad the floor? That's so obnoxious. This hallway was designed by rich assholes with no concern for the employees that would have to work here.

...so, Amaterasu, basically. That checks out.

Which means there's no password reset if he forgot it. Maybe that's why he never leaves the lab anymore. If he admits that he should have written it down somewhere, he'll lose the bet and have to pay Yomi 3,000 shien.

Definitely safer to stay in the lab forever and normalize shitting down the garbage chute. It goes straight to the incinerator; It's fine. Huesca lives here now.

He's lying to you. He wants to kill intruders for funsies. Severity of punishment doesn't act as a deterrent; Likelihood of getting caught does. As much as I hate to give Yomi credit for anything, the officers patrolling the halls are doing more to deter intrusion than a secret gas chamber they wouldn't even know about until it's too late.

Huesca is one of those guys who buys a semiautomatic rifle and the highest caliber ammunition he can find "for home defense", then gets excited and breaks out his gun every time the house creaks. He'll swear up and down that it's for self-defense, but the way he gets that gleam in his eye when he talks a little too-enthusiastically about the kind of damage his weapon can do is a bit unsettling, isn't it?

I just assumed. It'd be a pretty shitty deathtrap if the gas chamber's activation immediately flooded Huesca's lab and killed him dead on the spot.

Do you have to clear all nine? Like, step on every panel, but in a specific order? Because if so, there's a very finite number of combinations that are possible.

Oh my god he has a bathroom with a washing machine and everything. I thought I was joking but no, he really did move in permanently.

Well that's anticlimactic. So this lab is immensely lethally secure but only so long as there's someone in it. If the doc steps out for five minutes, you can walk right on in and wait for him.

Maybe that's why he stopped leaving. He realized that the security features only protect the lab when he's inside of it; A fatal error in its design that he doesn't want to own up to.

And there we have the answer to the mystery of the couches. They are, in fact, for lounging around and waiting for Huesca to come out so you can harass him with nonsense. A favored pastime of Makoto's.

Look at how this couch is perfectly sized to his exact proportions. This is Makoto's Harassing Couch.

So he was told to stop working on something, so naturally he sealed himself in his lab and worked tirelessly as you do when you quit a project. That's what you're going with, Makoto?

Come on, man. You're not this stupid. Well, at least we now have the full details, so we can--

Deal with whatever this asshole's on about now. What's up, man? Did you finally remember you were supposed to have me buried in the backlot behind the office? Too late now, I've already met your fancy researcher. We're friends now.

You can go ahead and ask him but you'll have to phrase it in ten words or less. Given how much you love the sound of your own voice, I'm not sure if that's something you're capable of.

[growling]

Design + general notes (nope, I am Not able to stay focused on just one thing at a time)

Basically some 4chan graduate scientists got bored and decided to make a real life catperson hybrid, as one does. And like. Listen. Listen I did intend it to be just a little silly goofy au but you've gotta understand the implifications 1) Yomi is still trans and he will be in every universe, officially making him a biochemically engineered Catgirl at first 2) there is basically zero point or purpose in creating such thing that would benefit society in any way unlike the homunculi at least. Like, you know why they made him. Like I'm not gonna say it but you know the sole reason they went out of their way to make him

*sigh* If anyone asks. His father was a cat and his first mother was an european and his second mother was a hentai themed incubator and his third mother was head scientist Anon but she didn't liek him

Ages a lot slower than a cat, and a lot faster than a human, he's like, somewhere in the middle. Was like a young teenager at 2 years. Adulted at 4. At the time of the BW he was like, 5. They made a homunculus out of him just to test whether it would even work and it actually did? Which is how he's still alive.

Not the director definitely lmaoo (let's give that title to Martina), wasn't allowed outside the lab until Makoto was born noticed he exists and said "hey whatbtye fFUCK" before brutally killing everybody in that building and taking Yomi to his house and honestly just never telling anyone about him existing either. Aside from maybe Martina and a few peacekeepers but that's just cause they regularly bust down his door every few days there is kinda no way to just keep a secret from them

Currently: part-time (too disabled for the normal work week also he doesn't want to and will bite you if you make him + sleeps through most of the day anyway) working as a maid for Makoto yes he still hates him but in a fun way now, full-time director Martina's secret fucked up advisor that doesn't really get whatever it is the peacekeepers are doing he is mostly just trying to have evil t4t sex with her. He's succeeding btw she is in Love to a near unhealthy degree

Significantly more chilled out (or is he.) than his canon counterpart, still a massive asshole

Slightly uncanny. Cat-shaped eyes with pupils that change size very frequently. Makoto never knew true fear before he went to the kitchen at 3am once and saw these fuckers dilating in the distance

Got cat ears (no extra human ears. just cat ones) and a tail. Let's say it's the longhair kind. He can also "bristle" which can make some of his hair (tail onviously, on head, on arms, you know) stand on end. Very annoying for him cause it ruins his hair a lot.

Six nipples but got mastectomy on four for Aesthetic Appeal, so he looks like he got a normal chest sans the scars if he puts a shirt on

Got claws that need to be trimmed very frequently so they won't hurt him. Originally the facility - let's just call them CatgirlCorp for now kay - considered just declawing him but it'll look ugly as fuck so they just hired some guy to trim them every few days. He usually does that himself nowadays

CAN: purr (but pretty weird, like a "mhhhhh" instead of "prrrrrr"), hiss, growl, meow (all of the former sound pretty Weird though), has a more sensitive sense of smell than humans. CAN'T: groom himself like a cat (has a normal tongue. purposefully), digest a lot of food humans eat (do not give him chocolate or caffeine or alcohol or literally anything tbh), see as many colors as humans do (cat vision but slightly better than an actual cat), real shitty reflexes, no whiskers + no money + no future

SO many health problems. Help him

Fine with homunculi (usually), really hates humans, especially men, and will, at absolute best spit and hiss and scream at you if you're one and in his vicinity, and at worst try and enact what his ancestors have done to the average endangered native songbird if you're Yakou and pathetically lying on the floor in his vicinity.

I think Yuma actually would get caught by the peacekeepers when he's hiding in the penthouse at ch3 simply because Yomi would very loudly want him dead, and if he weren't (which I honestly. Don't think he'd see Yuma as much of a threat, like, have you seen him? Have you seen that pathetic wet little meow meow?), then he's gonna give away his location the first chance he gets simply because he likes Martina more than Makoto. She asks if Mako is perchance hiding a detective back then and Yomi immediately jumps out at her and yells "HE'S IN THE BEDROOM QUEEN ILY!!!!!!!" while bonking her ribcage. Like what's Makoto gonna do to him huh lmaoooooo

Doesn't like cats either he sees them as competition. He'd try and attack them

Probably still scheming in some way or another but I've ran out of ideas at this hour. Any thoughts from the chat anything you wanna add

Suddenly remembering my first biochemically engineered catboy Yomi post again