#yoi is like...a show I would rewatch at my own time and not something I want to participate in the fandom for

[theultracharmingladynoire]

I can't stop thinking about that post I reblogged earlier about fandom being exhausting..l. I don't know.

[ferretrade]

8 shows to get to know me:

(@happybean17 tagged me on this forever ago now but I finally am getting it out of my drafts fdgklfgl THANK YOU)

1. Gravity Falls (honorable mention, Amphibia and Owl House)

I would call GF my perfect show. It's a shared love between me and my sister--I mean, we dressed up as Dipper and Mabel for Halloween one year. We also have watched it so many times that hearing the obscure quotes and references from us is probably painful to anyone else.

2. Doctor Who

I haven't watched DW in agessss but it was really my first entry point to nerdom/connecting to other people like me. I also have lovely memories of watching it after school with my dad.

3. Yuri on Ice!

YOI came at weirdly ideal time in my life. I was basically Yuuri's age and dealing with my own anxiety disorder for the first time, so it was this powerful connection. It also brought me into the world of figure skating, which I still follow loosely!

4. Star Wars Rebels

Rebels wasn't my first Star Wars, but it was my gateway to Star Wars fandom. My first ships and headcanons and fics--all from Rebels! And I'll always be a Rebels stan, sorry Clone Wars girlies (but it's not a fight ilu I promise).

5. Julie and the Phantoms

Look JATP came at another perfect time in my life where I was struggling and it was this bright, beautiful burst of happiness. Honestly the campy, ridiculousness of it all makes it another example of exactly what I want in a show? It also brought me to write fanfic after YEARS of not and an assumption that I never would again.

6. Leverage/Leverage: Redemption

Look. Leverage is just REALLY good. I like found family, I like getting back at evil rich people, I like it all. Kinda a feel good show to go back and watch.

7. Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist

Musical + an exploration of grief is the weirdest, most wonderful combo and basically my dream.

8. New Girl

Absolute comfort show. I wanted to pick something more profound, but man, I have rewatched this one too many times to not include it.

[annetteblog]

I spent January 1 watching YoI and it’s the best way to start a new year, I guess

So, yes, after all these years I finally watched Yuri on Ice. The biggest thanks to all people, who recommended me to do it, because it was amazing :) 

Now, beware of my incoherent rambling about the characters, the plot, figure skating, Victuri (Victuuri?), LGBTQ+ representation, and Russia, just because I need this 🙃

First of all, I had never thought that one day I would end up having a crush on a Russian man, but here I am, having crush on a Russian 2D man. Victor Nikiforov, how dare you steal my heart like this! He’s some kind of a damn Russian Apollo... So I perfectly understand Yuri’s gay panic in the first couple of episodes 🤣 dude, I feel you.....

What I specifically liked about the characters, it’s their growth. They were not frozen, but gradually developed to become more mature towards the end. Victor becoming less selfish, more compassionate and empathic; Yuri becoming mentally stronger and more confident. And Yurio... he’s such a lovely pirozhochek!!! :D Really, this “I-am-strong-and-independent-grown-up” kid with his love to pirozhki is just 🥰 But yes, he also mentally grew.

For me as a Russian, it was a pleasure to see normal Russian characters in a foreign show. They were talented and nice, wow, that really happened!!! Honestly, I’m so sick of this “bad-drinking-vodka-prison-tatoos-nucklear-weapon-terrible-accent” narrative (I watched Tenet the other day, and I was literally sitting like this 😐 the entire film; they forgot to add a bear for the full picture). And normal Cyrillic! Not perfect or 100% correct, but at least it was readable and understandable, not just a classic American movie with a Russian text, which looks like this - зжэщгардгрвъ шщыралойцы фвзпролдрппппп (yes, I just hit my keyboard). The same applies to the athletes from other countries. Kazakhstan!! Otabek!!!! 

I also needed to pause one of the episodes just to scream at this

Aeroflot (rus - Аэрофлот) is a Russian airline. And yeah, it sucks 😄

But seriously, you can clearly see that they did their research, cared for details and payed attention to things, and I, as a foreign viewer, really appreciated this. I really hope, that one beautiful day shows’ producers start to make characters from different cultures, who are just... you know... ordinary normal people? and not just a bunch of stereotypes?? or necessarily devilish evil just because they are from another country??? 

And now, the ship! 

I’m not really familiar with a lot of anime, and definitely not familiar with genres like yaoi, although I’ve heard about its stereotypes and certain common patterns. Here, however, it was a pleasure to see a same-sex relationship, which was not just a cool fetish for some young straight girls (nothing against young straight girls), but like... an actual relationship? Plus the creators successfully embedded it into the main plot, without shifting the central focus of the show and abandoning the actual sport competitions. 

I really enjoyed the delicate approach to the relationship’s development. Considering the characters’ own path of progress, the relationship they formed were equal and mature. Also their care and clear tenderness towards each other were speaking louder than words.

Sidenote. I had never realized how much I needed a Russian non-straight character in my life until, well, yesterday. Thankfully, I had the Internet since I was around 11, so I spent my teenage years watching a lot of American/ West-European tv-series. LGBTQ+ representation was not something out of the ordinary, it was not a taboo; and it mattered to me, a young girl, who tried to figure out what the F was going on with my own self. But I had never seen a Russian LGBTQ+ fictional character on the screen. Ever. Honestly, I had never payed attention to this fact. Normally I don’t really care about a person’s nationality, so I couldn’t even think that having some queer character, who is Russian, would be somehow important to me. As it turned out yesterday, it was actually important. And, I guess, one of the deeply personal reasons why I liked YoI, was the fact of seeing someone from my own country and my own culture, who was non-straight and being just fine and perfect the way he was. Even though I’m not a struggling young girl anymore. 

Okay, back to the tale, before I become a teary mess again. 

Their relationship was heartwarming to watch. Although there were clearly some sexual undertones, it didn’t end up being just some sexy gay boys. It was definitely about the growth of love, firstly fragile but becoming stronger and more affectionate with time. Their bond became psychologically equal; and they do complement each other, being codependent in the best sense. And it was beautiful. 

However, from what I quickly gathered while reading a few comments, some people still claimed that there was not enough clarity in terms of their relationship?? I have to disagree with this completely. Excuse me, but you don’t exchange matching golden rings in a church with your friend to wear it on your ring finger. You definitely don’t passionately kiss it seconds before an important performance. And you don’t cry your eyes out if your friend suggests you to end your partnership. If you do, I have some news for you, dear 🤡

I honestly can’t figure out what kind of a bigger clarity some people want. If the same plot was shown between a man and a woman, you would get the message from the episode 1. Or at least from that episode, where they were naked making out i mean...... practicing some moves?? wtf it was, honestly, I was too busy laughing 😆 However, seriously, what do you need? Is this really necessary to show an R-rated sex scene for some people just to get it? Lame. 

Sure, YoI was not perfect. Some bits with figure skating were off, and there was some obvious magic going on in terms of homophobia, more specifically - its absence. I mean, I’m not an expert in LGBTQ+ rights in Japan (although I know it’s not  that great), but if a Russian figure skater came out or just had some kind of (publicly known) unidentified close relationship with a same-sex partner, their successful career would be over. And not just Russian, I guess, any figure skater would face similar problems. It’s a very conservative sport. 

But, actually, I was grateful that they showed it the way they did. Fairytale-ish. A show doesn’t have to be realistic to be great. It’s enough if it warms our hearts and gives hope to the brighter future. The real world may be cruel and unjust, but we all need kind and reassuring stories to keep us going. And such story about caring relationship and love is the great example of this. 

Lovely, funny, refreshing, and heartwarming. 

Or, just quoting Victor

vkusno!!! (c) 

😄

I will definitely rewatch it at some points in my life.

and now excuse me, I need to fall into the rabbit hole of fanfiction, haha stupid me

P.S. 

This moment was 

hot

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Sophia Jirafe

Seven of Sophia Jirafe’s fics are at Gossamer, but more of her X-Files stories are at AO3 (as sophiahelix). I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including Stones and Bones. She was active in the fandom during the show’s run and has never strayed far from fandom in general. She co-founded Glass Onion, a great multi-fandom mailing list that now has nearly 1,000 fics from 100 fandoms at AO3. Big thanks to Sophia Jirafe for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

It did initially, but so many old shows are on streaming now and getting discovered by new people, it makes sense.

I did get a comment from someone who said my first story under this name, posted in early 2000 when I was a college freshman, was older than her by a couple of months, and THAT took me aback.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

It was my first fandom, discovered when I was 17 and searching for info about the show on the school library computer, and it really shaped my whole life! I met a lot of people I still know today (mostly in non-fannish venues like FB, though I do still have some connections in fandom), and learned a lot about writing and just life generally, since I was younger than most of fandom at the time.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I started off on a tiny forum at a website called Squirrel’s Nest, but I kept seeing people thanking Scullyfic in fic headers and eventually I was able to join the mailing list (which was capped to 500 members). Scullyfic was everything to me — I made friends, betas, discussed the show, learned about all kinds of things on Off-Topic Fridays, etc. A lot of those friends, I would email with or more often chat on AIM (individual or these sprawling group chats that would go on all day), and then at the end of 2001 we started migrating to Livejournal. I was getting into Buffy more by then, but it was still mostly the same crowd of people I knew from Scullyfic.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

I feel like it started me on a whole life path really — finding that my deep obsession with fiction could be channeled like that and shared with other people, as well as deepening my writing. Online fandom has been a major part of my social life for over 20 years now, and I love the mix of getting excited about things with friends and also the creative outlet.

My corner of X-Files fandom in particular was just very calm and enjoyable for the most part, full of older professional women who were happy to be friends and give me advice about all kinds of things, and it really set the bar for me with my online interactions. Now I’m almost 40 and trying to be that person for my younger friends, as well as having no patience for toxicity and in-fighting in my fandom spaces.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

A combination of the creepy conspiracy angle and just adoring Scully. I remember how mysterious and fascinating the show seemed when I discovered it right before S5, and there was no way to find out more except to keep watching and hoping they explained. Scully was so smart and tough and beautiful and interesting, and as a teen I was just captivated by her (and the UST, though I didn’t care about Mulder as much).

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I ran across it a couple times early on but felt embarrassed by the concept, but then I read the first in Karen Rasch’s Words series and suddenly it clicked for me. After a while I started daydreaming my own conversations between them, very similar to what happens to me now when I’m getting into a new pairing, so after reading tons of recommended fic by big authors, I started writing my own (the 3-4 stories I posted in high school are all wiped from the internet now, though).

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Good memories, though because it was my senior year of high school and college, I know a lot of it is just tied to that time in my life, and also being in my very first fandom. I will rewatch episodes from time to time, but I basically never revisit former fandoms because they’re kind of like exes, even if I finished on a good note. I also think my taste in fic has changed (and there isn’t the same novelty of “characters I like getting together omg!”)

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

So many! None of them had quite the same combination of excellent central architecture (especially pre-AO3) and a really high level of discussion and friendliness without being enormous, but I’ve loved them all in their own ways. I’ve done fandom on LJ/DW, Tumblr, Discord, and now on Twitter, and I think I miss the mailing list days the most. You didn’t have to repeat yourself so much in multiple conversations, you weren’t character limited, and the discussion was all in one place, with personal stuff more confined to your side conversations. Discord is a little like that, but it moves too fast and there’s too much noise for my taste.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Heh, after X-Files I went through a whole phase of faves in the Scully vein — Buffy, Aeryn Sun, Kara Thrace, etc. Like many people I’ve shifted primarily into m/m in the last decade (Sherlock, YOI, and recently The Untamed have been my major fictional fandoms, along with a lot of sports RPF), but for non-fannish shows I’m always looking for awesome new female characters, like Elizabeth on the Americans, Peggy on Mad Men, Nadja on What We Do in the Shadows, etc. And I do LOVE Killing Eve and have written a little f/f over there.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I’ll rewatch favorite episodes occasionally, and I keep thinking about a full rewatch but it takes so much time! I never saw the second movie, and I didn’t finish the first of the new seasons because I was hating it, so it’s a little hard for me to think fannishly about them when I disliked basically everything after “Je Souhaite” so much (as far as I’m concerned the show ends there).

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

X-Files no, but yeah I’m still very active in fandoms.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I lost all my saved fic several computers ago, but I recall loving “Blue Christmas” by Plausible Deniability and “Diamonds and Rust” by MustangSally (obviously everything she wrote was great).

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Looking at my X-Files fic, I can’t believe how short it is and how comparatively little of it there is (I have lost track of a few ficlets). It felt like such a big deal to finish anything back then! I think my favorite remains Alphabetum, which involved a tricky structure and 5 elements given by people as part of the Scullyfic Improv challenge, where you had a week to write a story around those elements.

My favorite of my recent fic in fictional fandoms is probably the GoT/YOI crossover novel I wrote a couple years ago, for a completely opposite experience to this (and proof you can grow as a writer with a lot of effort!)

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

It’s honestly hard to imagine going back (like I said, I usually don’t), but I guess I could get inspired by something.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I certainly still write, and I do have to give credit to XF fandom and Scullyfic in particular for giving me the start I got, where I really wanted to be writing good fiction. The few things I wrote in high school were just me jamming out romantic cliches, but the people I was lucky to know in XF fandom showed me that “just” fanfic can still aspire to be high quality. I am a much, much better and more disciplined writer than I was back then, but I might never have started on this path without fandom friends encouraging me.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Usually just daydreaming about emotional dynamics between characters/people, but sometimes something specific in canon or real life (I write a lot of RPF) gets me going, or maybe something I read.

What's the story behind your pen name?

When I wrote for X-Files, I picked “Sophia Jirafe” combining my favorite first name with a fancy spelling for my favorite animal (I was 18! Don’t judge!) Over on Livejournal, my friend Jintian and I initially shared an account with the same name as our website, double_helix, and when she got her own account I changed to sophia_helix, which is now sophiahelix just about everywhere. A little clunky, but I like the continuity (and I do run across old friends who remember the name).

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

The friends I’ve known for a very long time know about it, but we have never talked about it in depth. My husband, who I met not long after getting into fandom, also knows about it, and he’s encouraging and also a writer so we talk all the time. I told my mom in college and she was pretty dismissive, so we haven’t talked about it since (but my younger sister knows and is cool about it).

When I was younger, it was something I shared readily (I bonded with a new friend in law school I saw looking at LJ), but now I don’t really bring it up with new acquaintances.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

I just made a Carrd the other day with all my various fannish addresses (Twitter, locked fannish Twitter, AO3, Tumblr)

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Just that it really was a high quality fandom — so much excellent long casefic, so many cool down to earth people, just generally a great launching place for a young fan. The friendships I made with older people were really important to me, and it makes me sad to see a lot of younger people now getting upset about the idea of anyone over a certain age being in their fandom spaces. I hope someday fandom can get back to appreciating that people of all ages can be the fandom type, and that everyone brings something different to the community.

(Posted by Lilydale on December 1, 2020)

[gemsofthegalaxy]

idk how to edit videos but

i swear if i could, and i had the time, and mental energy to put myself through this, i would want to just, as subtly as I could, edit the fatphobia out of YOI

it really just- it’s one of those things where i love the show sooo much. & it’s not even that’s it’s unrealistic. tbh people probably WOULD treat Yuuri like that, they would demean him for his body and shit so it’s not like it’s untrue, but as a fat person it just,

really sucks that something i like has this really disappointing and hurtful fatphobia in the first few eps. And i want it to be a comfort show, but it actually can’t be because it makes me deeply uncomfortable just in those moments 

so it would Nice if i could just. be able to rewatch the show but have those instances removed for my own viewing pleasure sjhkdf. and not have to allow myself to be harmed by something that is otherwise so enjoyable. 

[joeys-piano]

Rules: pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. don’t cheat. tag 10 (or however many) people.

Joey Edit: Mild cheating may be involved

Tagged by: @alice-chan-chan

Tagging: (if y’all want to) @schizoidwire, @somuchanemoia, @feu-eau, @truedespair, @caped-ace, @leftovergarlicbread, @the-not-witch-time-forgot, @chavabear, @ikizais

My Choices:

Yuri!!! On Ice

Detroit: Become Human

Bungou Stray Dogs

Hannibal 

Buzzfeed Unsolved

who’s your favourite character from 1?

Yurio’s grandfather

who’s your least favourite character in 2?

Richard Perkins. My favorite scene was when Hank just knocked the socks off this man.

what’s your favourite episode of 4?

Episode 6 of Season 1 - Entree 

what’s your favourite season of 5?

The Supernatural season. I’m kind of into True Crime, but there’s something about the Supernatural seasons that get my goat every time. I think it’s because the most iconic Shane Madej lines have been uttered in those seasons and in some ways, those seasons feel more memorable to me. I love rewatching the episodes.

what’s your favourite couple of 3?

O D A Z A I

what’s your favourite couple in 2?

Ralph and Kara would feel like a sweet couple to me. I’ve had thoughts where they ran away together with Alice and started a new life up in Canada. Or, at least they tried until they were chased by CyberLife!Connor and Ralph sacrifices himself so that Kara and Alice could be free. Ralph holds off Connor for as long as he can and being a survivalist android, he’d put up a really good fight. He knows where it hurts on an android and he gouges into those places to slow Connor down.

what’s your favourite episode in 1?

Episode 3 I guess?

what’s your favourite episode in 5?

The Demonic Curse of Annabelle the Doll

what’s your favourite season in 2?

I like the Hank and Connor and finding deviants season.

how long have you been watching 1?

I watched in 2016 when it premiered and I never touched it again.

how did you get into 3?

I recently got into it in 2019 when someone I knew I was reblogging fanart for it. I originally heard about the show and watched a few episodes a few years ago. Decided to pick the show back up and watch it for reals this time. More than a year later, I’m still here and making content for it. BSD is an acquired taste. You kind of have to know what you’re getting yourself into before you can enjoy it for what it is.

favourite actor in 4?

Caroline Dhavernas. She’s the actress for Alana Bloom.

which do you prefer? 1, 2, or 5?

SInce I’m still keeping up Buzzfeed Unsolved, #5 all the way! I enjoy being a passive fan for that show and supporting the content creators in the fandom.

which show have you seen more of, 1 or 3?

Considering that BSD has three seasons, a manga, several light novels, an alternative manga, AND a MOVIE, I’ve seen, read, and breathed a lot more BSD content than stuff from Yuri!!! On Ice. The only thing YoI has on me is that I got into the fandom when I was young so I had more time to devote to writing for it. But music-wise and definitely the complexity of the stuff I’m doing now, BSD takes the cake.

if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

Realistically, I’d be a background character. I would like to be one of the guests that eats one of Hannibal’s exquisite dishes.

would a crossover of 3 and 4 work?

HELL YEAH. 

Oda would be a retired officer at the academy, teaching students and balancing his time between taking care of the kids he’s adopted and going through physical therapy to recover from a nasty knife wound he got a few years ago. When he gets a call from Ango that there’s a serial killer on the loose, Oda knows he’ll be forced to confront one of his demons. It makes sense to him on why Ango called. After all and before he retired, Oda was tasked in capturing a notorious serial killer. A killer named the Marionette, a foul and sharp-mouthed man who could twist anyone with his words and gauze. After hearing from Ango that a recent serial killer has been copying the Marionette's style, Oda comes to terms that he may have to work with the man that nearly killed him if Yokohama is going to be safe.

When Oda descends to the bowels of the Department of Special Abilities, he hardens his breaths and his resolve as he comes face to face with none other than Dazai Osamu. The man, the killer, circles around his cell block and his smile is as disarming as the one he wore before he carved into Oda with a knife. The bandages are gone. There’s nothing to hide. There’s nothing that Dazai can get a hold of to hurt anyone or himself. And yet, Oda doesn’t come any closer. Knowing just how dangerous it’d be if he took one more step.

An old shame riles him up. He hates to admit that he used to love this man, that he’d do anything to have him smile or laugh or feel carefree, to feel those cold fingers laced around his own, or how he loved it when Dazai talked about chaos and philosophy. How much of that was a hoax? Oda doesn’t know. He hates to admit that even after all this time, some part of him still yearns for Dazai. Some part of him misses this vile, conniving, and ruthless creature. But when Dazai looks at him with those soft eyes and says his nickname like its candy in his mouth...oh, Oda knows just how dangerous Dazai can be.

It doesn’t help that Dazai’s wearing a Cheshire grin or that he’s slowly dragging Oda forward. Not even with strings, but simply with his lips. In how he speaks and his words are just as dangerous as a knife could ever be.

pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple?

I can’t think of anyone.

overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

Buzzfeed Unsolved.

which has better theme music, 2 or 4?

The music in Detroit: Become Human is pretty good

[katzuyas]

I’ve been tagged in so many things over the past couple of weeks that I honestly don’t even have much more bookmark space left in my browser RIP so I finally decided to do all of it at once, hence the title and the rest of this longass post under the cut

bc there’s a lot of the tag games down there and tagging a million people would be annoying, I’m gonna tag 10 of you to grab a dice and roll it to figure out which meme you’re tagged for ^u^)b if you roll the same number twice, count that meme as the start from which to count and roll again! I hope you like this idea, but it’s only a suggestion so feel free to do whatever you want tbh?

@sweet-vitya, @gabzjones, @and-then-yoi-happened, @etherealalchemist, @joeys-piano, @quadruplyyours, @yuliaplisetskaya, @dreaming-fireflies, @teekettle, @iwritebetterthanispeak, @chessala

enjoy, if you want! 💕💕

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thank you for the tag!!

rules: answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers that you want to get to know better.

1. Name: kat

2. Nicknames: same tbh

3. Height: 170cm

4. Orientation: who knows who cares (it’s pan)

5. Nationality: polish

6. Favorite fruit: mango, cherries, I love watermelon too but the seeds piss me off too much to fully enjoy it

7. Favorite season: anything that doesn’t make me sweat off my skin but isn’t also freezing my toes is more than fine with me ^u^)b

8. Favorite plant: I don’t think I have any favs here

9. Favorite scent: I have this yankee candle ‘sweet candies’ and I can just DIE wrapped in that scent holy sheet (when it comes to perfume tho I’m a sucker for the original chloe, but I also love calvin klein’s euphoria bc it’s just Fresh)

10. Favorite color: any pastel really

11. Favorite animal: MY SWEET PUPPER HINA (so yes, dogs)

12. Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: coffee sometimes, TEA AND GREEN TEA AND VANILLA CHAI!!!!!!, hot chocolate is a nope

13. Average sleep hours: I always try for 8h bc otherwise I’m a zombie, but it doesn’t always work out so... I’m a part-time zombie anyway lmao

14. Dog or cat person: ISN’T THE PIC PROOF ENOUGH THAT I LOVE MY FURRY DOGGO SON

15. Favorite fictional character: victor nikiforov. that’s it. that’s all. we can all go home now

16. Number of blankets you sleep with: 1 + a duvet bc I like being cosy

17. Dream trip: japan, always. but another one would be a trip to the harry potter universal store or the noble collection store I guess

18. Blog created: who even remembers this pffff (somewhen in august 2011 I think)

19. Number of followers: I’m just gonna say it’s a four number figure ;3c

20. Random fact: I’m currently rewatching lord of the rings and procrastinating writing so YES I’M A NERD AND A BAD PERSON AHAHA //sweats

tagged by @story-kat -- thanks love, I actually really like these so it was great fun to do 💕

Rules: using only song titles from one artist/band, cleverly answer the questions and then tag people

artist/band: one ok rock

what is your gender: stuck in the middle

how do you feel: jaded

if you could go anywhere: start again

favorite mode of transportation: mighty long fall

your best friend: wherever you are

favorite time of day: taking off

if your life was a tv show: liar

relationship status: hard to love

your fear: bombs away

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thanks again!! ahaha I feel like I’ll be saying this a lot today, but you spoil me /)u(\

Rules: tag 9 people you want to know better or just because you feel like it.

Relationship status: taken ;3c

Favorite color: any pastels, really

Last song I listened to: still the lord of the rings ost

Last movie I watched: lord of the rings lol two towers ^u^)b

Top 3 tv shows: game of thrones (bc I love my fantasy shit), rein (bc I love my history shit), and american housewife (bc I love laughing and this show is Hilarious with the capital H)

Top 3 characters: victor nikiforov bc I adore him, hinata shouyou bc he’s my sunshine son and I gotta mention miyuki kazuya bc his smirks still keep me awake at night 😍😍😍

What I’m currently reading: honestly? my own writes bc I have no time for anything other than editing orz

tagged by @themayflynans and @endlesscloudsoftime, thank you both!! 💕

A - Age: 26

B - Birthplace: poland

C - Current time: 11:50am

D - Drink you last had: just some coke

E - Easiest person to talk to: nowadays it’s gotta be @saniika and @and-then-yoi-happened bc I know I can be as salty and upset as I feel when I talk to them and that it’s alright to just let it all out which is something I wish for everyone to have 💕

F - Favourite song: don’t have one tbh

G - Grossest memory: back in elementary school my class was in warsaw to see the big zoo there and one of the chimpanzees just projectile shat all over our teacher and it was simultaneously the most awesome and the fucking WORST bc she smelled like shit the whole trip back home ugh

H - Horror yes or horror no: depends on what kind of horror but generally? meh

I - In love?: no idea tbh but definitely comfortable in my relationship

J - Jealous of people?: you’ve no idea. jelly and bitter.

L - Love at first sight or should i walk by again?: walk by and actually tell me you’re interested bc I’m a blind pan who is easily confused

M - Middle name: magdalena ;3c

N - Number of siblings: 0

O - One wish: Been keeping Salty’s answers here - yes, to learn to love myself.

P - Person you called last: my mom lol she’s the only one I call, really

Q - Question you are always asked: "so when will you start looking for a job?”

R - Reason to smile: VICTUURI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

S - Song you sang last: oh man I don’t even remember, I don’t really sing out loud

T - Time you woke up: these days? 6:30am

U - Underwear colour: sea green-blue, turquoise?

V - Vacation destination: I’m going to japan next year to see ice adolescence even if it kills me

W - Worst habit: biting the inside of my cheeks bloody

X - X-rays: my hand when I had a small accident playing badminton, my jaw for my braces

Y - Your favourite food: PIZZA HELLO

Z - Zodiac sign: gemini ;3c

tagged by @theexitgarden and @endlesscloudsoftime, bless you both and thank you for thinking of the old me 💕 

1st RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better:

we’ll be skipping this one bc of reasons //sweats

2nd RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo -I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory- I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority- I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concert

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling- I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smartphone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages - I have made a new friend in the past year

tagged by @story-kat and @endlesscloudsoftime (astea m’dude ur tagging me in everything and I love you for it)

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SONG(S) TO SING?

I will most often hum or mouth lyrics when I’m writing and my brain gets distracted so it usually is some sort of acoustic cover of a rather popular song, like despacito? lol WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE FLOWER/TREE/PLANT?

I don’t have one tbh FAVOURITE COLOURS?

anything pastel!! WHAT DO YOU ALWAYS DOODLE?

I don’t anymore but it used to be some random squigglies??

HOW DO YOU TAKE YOUR COFFEE/TEA?

2.5 teaspoon of sugar into both + 1/4 milk/cream into the coffee and 1/4 cold water into the tea FAVOURITE CANDLE SCENT?

SWEET CANDIES FROM YANKEE CANDLE. BURY ME IN THIS. SUNRISE OR SUNSET?

sunrise bc I don’t even see sunsets anymore (I’m asleep then lol) WHAT PERFUME DO YOU WEAR?

the original chloe is what I like most but I would die for dior’s j’adore, it’s so nice 😍😍😍 in the summer I’m wearing masaki’s fluo tho bc it’s sweet and summery

WHAT’S YOUR GO-TO DANCE MOVE WHEN YOU’RE ALONE?

butt wiggling? maybe? idk man I never really thought about it? lol FAVOURITE QUOTE?

“Because people don’t have wings, we look for other ways to fly.” -- somehow this one always sticks with me bc it’s so beautiful and vivid that you’d never say it’s from a japanese cartoon lmao

FAVOURITE SELF CARE ROUTINE(S)?

sleeping, kicking back and watching some dumb movie that won’t make me think of anything but how dumb it is

FUZZY SOCKS OR HOUSE SLIPPERS?

both? I like fuzzy socks in winter but in summer I go barefoot but sometimes u gotta have something between your skin and the floor so = slippers WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR EYES?

brown

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE EYE COLOUR ON OTHERS?

I don’t honestly care but blue eyes when they’re very light creep me out somehow FAVOURITE SEASON? WHY?

don’t have one but as long as it’s not too hot or too cold I’m good NECK, CHEEK, OR NOSE KISSES?

depends on what you want to achieve? neck kisses will have me melting, cheek kisses smile and nose kisses giggle and possibly blush so YEA THERE’S THAT

WHAT DOES YOUR HAPPY PLACE LOOK LIKE?

it’s my room. that’s it. this is my happy place

FAVOURITE BREED OF DOG?

ANY DOGGO IS A GOOD DOGGO AS LONG AS IT’S NOT THOSE SMOL ONES WHO BITE UR ANKLES FOR NO REASON DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE MARRIED?

idk, I mean yes I’d like to be married one day but I’m not really in any hurry to get there? CURSIVE OR PRINT?

I don’t honestly care

FAVOURITE WEATHER?

cloudy but not too cold

tagged by @story-kat, thanks for the tag babe!!

Rules: bold what you prefer and tag 10 people.

coffee or tea

early bird or night owl

chocolate or vanilla

spring or fall

silver or gold (BOTH! BOTH IS GOOD)

pop or alternative

freckles or dimples

snakes or sharks

mountains or fields

thunderstorm or lightning

Egyptian or Greek mythology

ivory or scarlet

flute or lyre

eyes or lips

witch or fairy

opal or diamond

butterflies or honeybees

macaroons or eclairs

typewritten or handwritten letters

secret garden or secret library

rooftop or balcony

spicy or mild

opera or ballet

London or Paris

Vincent van Gogh or Claude Monet

denim or leather

potions or spells

ocean or desert

mermaid or siren

masquerade ball or cocktail party

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thanks for this omg I actually wanted to do this one!! 💕💕

THE AO3 TAG GAME:

WHAT IS YOUR TOTAL WORD COUNT ON AO3?

869 938! holy sheet I’m so close to 1mil???? wowowow o.O

HOW OFTEN DO YOU WRITE?

I try to write every day, but these days (with renovations going on and my sleeping schedule all fucked up) it’s really hard to find the time and focus to do it orz

DO YOU HAVE A ROUTINE FOR WRITING?

I actually do! or I did when I was still regularly writing lol it was something like this: cracking open an energy drink, lighting up my fav scented candle, booting up itunes and my writing playlist and generally just spending 5-6h just writing 💕  

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE KINKS/TROPES/PAIRING?

kinks: pet play, public or semi-public play, voyeurism, doggy style, also actually BOTTOM VITYA,      

tropes: reverse au, time travel, famous aus,

pairing: victuuri. no seconds. we die like man and only stan one (1) gay ship

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE FIC OF YOURS?

I don’t necessarily have an absolute fav but a fic that I still remember fondly and am beyond sad that got little to no attention is: if there’s a will, there’s a way bc I worked my ass off for it and I love every bit of it so? give it a read if you want to?

YOUR FIC WITH THE MOST KUDOS?

dazzle me with gold which will be getting an update this weekend ;3c

ANYTHING YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING?

recently? everything. I’m just broken and idk how to fix it bc I can’t even find a good moment to try so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

NOW SOMETHING YOU DO LIKE (ABOUT YOUR WRITING)?

how sweet and soft everything is when I’m in a good mood bc victuuri deserves this kind of love and I’m so happy writing it for them 🙏🙏🙏

tagged by @amaanogawa, thanks so much ems!!!

1) How many works in progress to do you currently have in progress?

one actual wip and like... 5 more that just sit and wait their turn? //sweats

2) Do you/would you write fan fiction?

rip that’s all I write too... tbh I used to write original fiction before but I find myself much less constricted by fanfic? I can explore the characters here more than I can in original fiction where worldbuilding takes most effort

3) Do you prefer paper books or ebooks?

oh definitely paper! if I could I’d buy printed out fanfic too!

4) When did you start writing?

I was about 12 I think? it all started with harry potter, like everything else has, and I regret not a second of it!

5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

sometimes when i get very excited about what i’m writing i’ll tell my fandom friends about the specific AU that i’m writing about but in terms of reading the full length fic, i don’t have anyone that i let read before anyone else. it’ll be on ao3 for everyone at the same time.

6) Where is your favourite place to write?

my desk, my pc. I can write on my phone but I like to edit as I go and it’s hard to do on the phone.

7) Favourite childhood book?

do I even need to say it? harry potter

8) Writing for fun or writing for publication?

for fun, but with the aim of possible future publication maybe?

9) Pen and paper or computer?

always computer. i have only recently begun writing fics on my phone because i’ve been traveling a lot and i don’t always have my laptop on my person, but it’s still much more comfortable to sit down and type on a proper keyboard.

10) Have you ever taken any writing classes?

at my uni, yes. and it completely sucked bc they didn’t teach anything, just had us write random shit for 3 years so eh

11) What inspires you to write?

everything? like, any random thing or thought I’m instantly trying to weave into my writing, turn it into a prompt. every new experience is just a basis for me to write on.

but if you’re asking WHY I write: I don’t even know, I’ve never thought about it? it’s kind of like asking why I breathe ahaha I just do? it’s a part of me? idk man idk

tagged by @themayflynans, thanks for this love!!

7/7/7 tag

The rules are as follows: Go to page 7 of your WIP, go to the seventh line, share seven sentences, and tag 7 more writer-bloggers to continue the challenge.

oh wow ok this is a difficult one bc I don’t think I even have a wip 7 pages long //sweats let me see... aha, okay, I found one! from back in march when I asked people to send me over some numbers for one of those writing memes and @theexitgarden I believe (??) sent me the prompt “I don’t think anyone could be as lovely as you” for victuuri and I kind of got a blind!victor au from it?? wELP here’s the fragment of it:

His music is vibrant in a way that he couldn't play on his piano alone and the clap of the blades that he can hear from the speakers of his TV makes him only more certain – this boy, Yuuri Katsuki, is skating to the sound of Victor's soul as if it's his own.

He never notices the tears that well up in his eyes until they roll down his cheeks and Makkachin presses against his side, whimpering in concern. Victor runs a trembling hand through her soft fur and takes a deep breath. And then, he decides.

"Yasha," he says when his former coach, his father in all but blood picks up Victor’s call. "I want to do this."

And he does it.

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime again, boy you spoil me ahaha

1. Which fictional character would be the most boring to meet in real life?

I have no idea tbh bc even the characters I don’t like wouldn’t be exactly boring, so??? I honestly don’t know

2. What problem or situation did TV / movies make you think would be common, but when you grew up you found out it wasn’t? (i’m lowkey taking a jab at hsm because thanks Disney for making me think high school would be awesome)

hooking up with people ALL THE TIME when you’re in your 20s bc wtf what a bold-faced lie omg

3. What would be on the gag reel of your life?

"how many times can kat click her tongue at random strangers who piss her off by breathing the same air?” and a manip of all the eyerolls I do bc let me tell you... THERE’S A LOT

4. What does “infinite” mean to you?

my love for victor nikiforov

5. If your life was a movie, what songs would be on the soundtrack?

definitely lots of acoustic vibes and harry potter tunes and I can bet your ass that I’d have the yeah yeah yeah ost from yoi bc it’s such a banger and I LOVE IT but also dramatic classical violin and piano bc they pull on my heart and I am weak

6. What item would be your top choice to make into a horcrux?

honestly? my phone probably. I don’t necessarily have other things close to me that I’d use with enough heart to be of any significance to me

7. Who would play you in a movie about your life?

??? no idea lol I’d love for it to be katherine mcnamara bc 1) we share names, 2) her red hair is gorgeous and I’m a redhead, 3) SHE is gorgeous and I’d love to be portrayed by someone that hot 😍😍😍

8. Most relatable scene from any book/movie/anime/etc.?

yuuri’s little gasp when he first saw victor skating bc HARD SAME MY SWEET SON HARD SAME

9. If you were shrunk down and somehow got stuck in a blender, how would you get out?

I’d jump from side to side of it to try and rock it a bit and see if I can flip it over and get out that way? idk man what is this question lol

10. Would you count manga as a piece of literature? Why or why not?

ofc I would? honestly, some manga have even better storylines than written fiction why WOULDN’T it be counted as a piece of literature

11. compliment yourself. (joey, you’re just to freaking good to at making up questions).

oh man... //sweats umm??? good job me on not breaking down yet bc the renovations keep being awful and you’re handling it well?? maybe lol

tagged by @theexitgarden, thanks love, once more!

RULES: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag 10 people you want to know better.

Three Fandoms:

Yuri!!! on Ice

Ace of Diamond

Haikyuu!!

The First Character You Loved:

victor. he’s voiced by suwajun, do I really need to say more?

miyuki!! gosh I do love my asshole sons snarky and mean

hinata bc he’s a ray of sunshine and I even named my doggo after him 💕

The Character You Never Expected To Love So Much:

I gotta copy you garden bc chris took me by surprise too! my love for him started from that little sad look he gave us in the kiss and cry and it blossomed beautifully over time ahhh

sanada omg?? he is literally baseball kuroo so I was not expecting it but I fully embraced it lmao

iwaizumi bc I’m not one to like the mothering types but he’s??? actually so kind and sweet under all that harsh Manly facade it’s so cute

The Character You Relate To The Most:

victor, I’d say, or so I like to think

honestly? miyuki. just look at my url lol

oikawa, probably...

The Character You’d Slap:

I wouldn’t actually, but yurio deserves a good kick on the butt

um??? kataoka? bc TF U MEAN U DON’T KNOW WHO THE ACE SHOULD BE WE KNEW IT FROM THE FIRST CHAPTER YOU DUMBASS

early tsukki bc he’s could use it tbqh

Three Favorite Characters (in order of preference):

victor, yuuri, chris

miyuki, eijun, mei

hinata, kuroo, oikawa

A Character You Liked At First, But Don’t Anymore:

no one like that in yoi tbh, my love is only growing

kataoka lol

umm???? idk

A Character You Didn’t Like At First But Do Now:

seung-gil, I’d say. he grew on me lol

raichi, I guess??

to say tsukki, I’d have to actually like him now but it’s more difficult than that bc I didn’t like him at first but now can tolerate him so?? does it count?

Three OTPs:

victuuri, phichimetti, and the third would be very problematic bc I honestly don’t ship anything else in yoi?

miyusawa, chrisawa, sanasawa

KUROHINA YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, oihina, bokuhina

tagged by @sleep-furiously, thanks for the tag, love!!

post five facts about myself ❤

I have a sweet doggo who is the light of my life 💕

I write good shit sometimes

I believe I have good taste

I’m a snark machine when certain buttons are pressed

patience levels run at 0%

wow ok this was A LOT to go through and it took me like 3h to do this holy sheet but at least I had fun and now I have my firefox bookmark free so that’s awesome ahhh!! thanks so much again to everyone for the tags, you guys are amazing and I’m lucky to have you 💕💕💕💕

[venom-s]

My Continued Issues with Episode 12

So since the movie is now underway, and I’ve been brainstorming what Sayo and Kubo plan to do with the YOI movie (which I’m slightly dreading for a variety of reasons), I feel like I should return to my issues with the final episode.

Firstly, I’ve said this since the rewatch on the day it aired: I feel like they changed it at last minute. There are several edits that felt too sharp or sudden or just out of place.

VICTOR COMPETING AGAIN

I’m really not convinced by the coaching-while-competing thing. I’m sure it can be done, but competing against your own students is a terrible idea. It just feels like a contrived way of keeping Victor on as Yuuri’s coach while also being able to bring Victor back to competitive skating. I don’t get why they didn’t just have Victor move on to professional skating and do more ice shows rather than return to competitive skating.

As it is, he turns 28 the month of the Grand Prix Final in episode 12. Most skaters don’t even last that long in competitive skating, so I feel like they’re just dragging Victor’s competitive career out. The show was partially about Victor the competitor dying and becoming someone else. I think bringing him back as a competitor was a ridiculous idea.

VICTOR TIMING HIS RETURN WITH RUSSIAN NATIONALS

This is something I particularly want to call bullshit on. The Grand Prix Final occurs in December, and so does Russian Nationals. Since the show aired during the real life Grand Prix series in the 2016-2017 season, lets look at the dates for that:

2016-2017 Grand Prix Final: December 8-11, 2016.

2017 Russian Nationals: December 20-26, 2016.

So he’s planning to return to competitive skating with barely a week and a half in between his decision to return and his actual return? OK.

Eros and Agape were two different programs Victor was choreographing for the upcoming season, which is the season that Yuuri and Yurio skates to those programs respectively. Victor was creating them for himself, not for them--because he thought he was going to be competing until he flew to Japan.

Unless he’s pulling a Yuzuru Hanyu move and recycling his programs (i s2g yuzuru only has three SPs and I’m going to be watching him skate every season to Chopin Ballade no. 1 until the day he retires, but I digress; this post is about Yuri!!! on Ice), then where the fuck did Victor find the time to choreograph two new programs for this season . . . when he didn’t even think he was returning to skating?

He gave Eros and Agape to Yuuri and Yurio, and he’s not shown to be skating anything else or preparing new programs throughout the entire show. He has focused solely on coaching Yuuri, and there was no indication he planned to return.

Presumably, since we have also not seen him skate to anything else, that means he hasn’t been training.

So . . . what the fuck is the deal here?

DOES VICTOR EVEN WANT TO RETURN

I swear Victor’s desire to competitively skate again is all in Yuuri’s head. Victor seems content to let Victor the Competitive Skater die forever. Having an interest in Otabek and Chris’s programs literally means nothing. HE LIKES TO CHOREOGRAPH HIS OWN PROGRAMS. OF COURSE HE’D BE INTRIGUED BY OTHER SKATERS’ PROGRAMS.

He doesn’t even bring up returning with Yakov until Yuuri decides he’s going to retire to avoid holding Victor back. Victor literally only returns to competitive skating in order to keep Yuuri from retiring. He doesn’t look happy in any of the scenes where he talks about returning.

Victor doesn’t look so sure about his decision when it’s first mentioned to Yuuri.

And with Yakov, it’s clear he hadn’t planned this. This is spur of the moment. And then he hugs Yurio, which essentially returns back to the “Hug Yakov for help” or whatever thing that Victor mentioned to Yuuri a few episodes prior. Yurio created a competitive spark in Yuuri with his free skate.

The only hint that this wasn’t a permanent decision was during his pep talk to Yuuri before the free skate, when he tells Yuuri he “took a break”, but is it really a break if he had NOTHING planned to follow that break? He /cried/ when Yuuri wanted to retire and stop Victor from coaching him longer.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I read somewhere that Kubo-sensei knew Yuri!!! on Ice would be big around the time episode 7 aired. The show didn’t have a large budget, and no one expected it to get as big as it did. I wouldn’t be surprised if, halfway through the airing of the show, they went back and changed the final episode to be able to create some sort of sequel with Yuuri and Victor. It would explain the jarring scene edits and weird pacing.

TL:DR: The writing in episode 12 was bullshit, and it makes me nervous about the movie.

[harocat]

ahhhh im not sure who else to talk to but lately i've been feeling really unhappy w/ yoi fandom and idk what to do. i guess it's because im seeing people from fandom all around the world and there's a lot of difference in culture, but some stuff i see just makes me want to never touch the show again. ik it's stupid that it's affecting my perception of yoi and the people working on it but i just can't disconnect it and it makes me question kubosayo's intentions as well. (1)

it's so stupid and i know i cant do anything about it bc ppl are entitled to do what they want and i cant force them to view yoi the same way i do but i just feel so lost bc this is the first time i’ve ever been in such a large fandom and i really enjoyed yoi but now im just sort of anxious and questioning fans of the show and the creators as well. im sorry for clogging up your inbox but i just want some advice. maybe i should just leave the fandom altogether? (2)

Have you considered just sort of disconnecting from the fandom a bit, trying to blank it out, and then rewatching the show on its own merits?

As far as fandom itself, just make sure you stick to following people whose opinions you’re comfortable with. Curate your experience. You can generally avoid the ugliest parts of fandom if you’re careful. 

I think Kubo and Sayo’s intentions are very genuine. If I wasn’t sure about it before, seeing them in person at Anime Fest and seeing all the genuine passion and love and dedication to this project from them would have convinced me. Their intentions were to make a good show about something they loved, nothing less.

There is literally no doubt that Kubo and Sayo are forced to walk on eggshells when talking about this project in interviews and such. We KNOW this for a fact. It’s been made clear in things they’ve told interviewers, in bullshit like the ring censorship, in Sayo’s comments about having to force the kiss through, etc. 

We already have people in the industry referring to YOI as ‘too much boy’s love’ despite the fact that they have worked their butts off to avoid it being pigeonholed in that genre, because they know it would be harmful to the show and the story they want to tell. There’s a precedent in blatantly romantic m/m content that isn’t ‘boy’s love’ having to be discussed this way. Hideaki Anno only acknowledged that Kaworu and Shinji’s relationship was romantic when he did an interview with an actual BL magazine. In other interviews, they were just forced to use super gay sounding words that if you’re that desperate and homophobic, you can still no homo. 

It’s weird to say but Kubo and Sayo don’t actually have that much power. They made the actual show, to be sure, but creators and writers are considered replaceable in the anime industry and that Sayo especially has been as bold as she has been is impressive to say the least. Putting it in the series itself is one thing, blatantly acknowledging that (what very clearly happened on screen) is the intent? Is another. It sounds kind of stupid, but that’s the way it is. 

I do not think MAPPA would ever dream of replacing Kubo and Sayo. They are behind them 100% of the way, and have been very much “we will let them do what they want!!” Otsuka, Mappa’s CEO, has openly talked about Victuuri being a romance, but he’s literally the CEO (and also a man), so he can get away with more. That being said, Mappa would never replace them, but YOI has to work with tens of companies through merchandising, marketing, broadcasting, etc Just because Mappa is open to things, doesn’t mean they are. 

I can’t get into Sayo and Kubo’s heads, but I 100% believe in their intentions based on what they’ve said. Kubo, I think, was a little more unsure how to handle everything at first, but she’s improved a lot over time and she even acknowledged that she knows now fans are frustrated by vagueness. 

[elmyre]

Tagged by @belovedyuuri (Thank you!! ^^ I’m sorry about getting to this so late, stress + my usual habit of putting things off/straight up forgetting things constantly has been getting to me)

Rules:

1) Always post the rules. 2) Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 3) Write 11 questions of your own. 4) Tag 11 people.

I’ll just tag @sakuracat96 @wheredidvictorleavemenow @peanut-musings @gotvodka @l3monsoda @mostladylikeladythateverladied @dragonsrulemyheart and anyone else who wants to answer my questions (if I tagged you and you don’t want to do it that’s fine too)

1.  What is the last song you listened to on repeat?

I’m not usually the type to put songs on repeat just cause I get tired of them really quickly but last one was Cherry Wine by Hozier cause omg how amazing is that song????? ; ;

2.  Which Yuri on Ice fanfic would you recommend to somebody who’s never read yoi fanfic before?

I mean I’d definitely say the Rivals Series (a canon divergent series of fics with some delicious angst) cause it’s my absolute favorite and I’d pretty much recommend those fics to EVERYBODY but there’s also AU fics like The Merman in my Private Bath (merman Victor and human Yuuri AU with very cute art sprinkled in the chapters) and Expomise (amazing Harry Potter AU) that are just so unbelievably fluffy and sweet. There’s also really good long fics like Met by Accident (the title says it all but the fic itself has a nice balance of romance and angst and friend/familial relationships + it has some Otayuri + the original characters the author made are so extremely lovable). Starstruck is another favorite of mine as well (Actor/Single Dad Victor and his adopted son Yurio meet new babysitter Yuuri, it’s also hilarious and one of the very first fics I read when I started reading YoI fics) I’d keep going since there are so many more fics I’ve read and loved but this is long enough as is so I’ll cut it off here. If anyone who is reading this wants some more personal recommendations feel free to hmu via asks or pm’s ;D

3.  You can take any smell (and I mean any smell) and make a candle out of it. What would the candle smell like?

You know that scent in the air at the beginning of spring where everything smells really earthy and fresh? That smell.

4.  Your comfort book/fic/movie/TV show that you indulge in when you need a ‘pick me up’ is…

Okay it’s totally Yuri on Ice XD I rewatched the entire thing not too long ago since I’ve been worrying myself too much recently and my poor sleep deprived brain keeps making me dream about the upcoming YoI movie and I really just needed something to hold me over

5.  What is your headcanon for Yuuri and Phichit’s first meeting?

(You know, I’m really loving all these YoI related questions XD) I have actually never even thought of that before now but I’d like to think it started when Phichit and Yuuri first became roommates in their college days, when Yuuri had first moved to Detroit.  Yuuri was so incredibly nervous to be in an entirely new country with people who speak a completely different language and rooming with someone who he barely knew.  So he set his bags down in front of the door to his new shared room, and barely even a second after knocking the door swings open and there’s a crazy excited Phichit on the other side.  He goes, “Yuuri, you’re finally here!!! Hold these.” And dumps some hamsters into his arms before grabbing his selfie stick, throwing an arm around Yuuri’s shoulder, and snapping a “First Day with the New Roomie” selfie.  Yuuri is absolutely reeling while Phichit just carries his bags in for him and helps him move in while telling him about the hamsters.  He even helps Yuuri with his Victor posters while Yuuri begins to talk about his poodle and they share stories about their families back home.  He starts out so shy and awkward (and kinda overwhelmed by Phichit being so giddy and talkative) but by the end of the night he’s really happy he gets to room with him.

Also, Phichit totally gave Yuuri a framed picture of their first selfie a year after he moves in, along with a very sweet message.  He may or may not shed some tears over it.

6.  Have you ever named a pet/plushie/object after a character from YOI? What was it and why did you choose that name?

Uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh does the Yuuri nendoroid count?

7.  Your top 5 headcanons for what life at the Katsuki-Nikiforovs’ place looks like?

They’ve got a bunch of sticky notes around the house. Just everywhere. Victor is a very forgetful person and I’d imagine that Yuuri leaves them for him so he doesn’t forget important things, like meetings or chores. Victor really appreciates it, especially when Yuuri writes a little heart at the end.

They totally massage each other’s feet after a hard day of practice.  No question.

On a similar train of thought, Victor probably does a lot of things for Yuuri that he brushes off as just looking after him for “”“Coaching Reasons””” like running him warm baths or tucking him in or bringing food to him in bed. But really Victor just loves spoiling Yuuri. Yuuri appreciates Victor’s sweetness as long as he doesn’t go overboard, like putting his slippers on his feet or carrying him to the bathroom in the morning. Which Victor has definitely done. More than once.

Anyone who walks into their house without knowing either of them very well would probably think that all the toys strewn out across the living room floor are for their child.  They would be mistaken.  They’re all for the dog.

When Yuuri first came to stay with Victor in St. Petersburg, after having spent about a year back at his old home in Hasetsu, he begins feeling a little homesick.  Victor notices how Yuuri sometimes looks a bit sad and quiet when they’re just relaxing at home, so Victor finds some old Japanese music that Yuuri used to love and asks Yuuri to dance with him. It ended up putting a huge smile on Yuuri’s face for a long while afterwards, and it became a regular activity for them to do when they want to take their minds off something, get some extra exercise, or just have a little fun. They have a playlist with hundreds of songs set up for it now.

8.  Have you drunk water recently? Eaten something? Taken your meds? Untensed? Please do so if you haven’t.

I mean that hardly qualifies as a question but omg that is so sweet?????? ; ; Thank you <333

9.  What is the one quote/song lyric/poem that resonates with you?

“And in the middle of the night when you’re on your own,

I’m chasing down light in the indigo,

It’s just the way you are when you’re overgrown...

...And I will never let you go.”

A quote from this amazing song, which the creators also explained a bit about on their facebook if you wanna check it out!

10.  If you could effortlessly learn one skill in no time at all, what would it be?

I never really have time anymore to study languages so I’d totally try and learn either fluent Spanish or Japanese (since I really want to travel to Mexico or Japan someday)

11.  What is the one question you wish people asked you? What is the answer?

I mean this isn’t really a question with a specific answer, but I’m so absolutely awful with asking other people for help when I need it, so I’d appreciate it if people asked me if they could help me with something.  And then I’d say YES I’VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO ASK  FIRST BUT ANYWAY

--------------

My questions would be:

What events are happening this year/next year that you’re looking forward to?

If you could drop everything and go somewhere right now without consequences or limitations, where would you go? What would you do?

What is your favorite mythical creature?

Do you have a song/playlist that you listen to for relaxation? If so, what is it?

What do you usually do when you have trouble falling asleep?

What was your favorite toy/game to play as a child?

Your opinion on wearing socks?

How do you like your coffee or tea?

If you’ve ever done cosplay before, who did you cosplay as most recently? If you’ve never done it before, what is your dream cosplay?

Who is the fictional character that you most relate to, and how are you two alike?

What is the most fond memory you have from the past few years?

[cullinankatsudon]

Yuri on Ice Rewatch/Review: Episode 5: Face Beet Red!! It's the First Competition! The Chugoku, Shikoku, and Kyushu Championship

Sorry that there was such a long break in these manga/anime reports. The spoiler is I’m going to keep doing them well past the end date for this Rafflecopter, and I’m going to do more Rafflecopters, so, see you next level, I guess.

Anyway. Yuri on Ice, episode five.

As I tweeted today, after being at Animefest, I will forever hear “History Maker” and hear huge crowds of world-wide fans singing along and then cheering as the YOI team enter the room, which is what happened for every panel. Also at every panel either Kubo or Hiramatsu videotaped the room going crazy and Yamamoto brandished an American flag, waving it at us and then tucked it under her name plate. They were as excited to see us as we were them. Kubo said hearing us sing “History Maker” like that fulfilled a dream of hers. I think I mentioned in one of my posts (probably the angry one about how crappy the organizers were) that the YOI people stayed hours and hours past the one hour scheduled signing time every day. They were just so full of love. Truly the most wonderful people. Hiramatsu and Kubo wished we would order their books—Kubo’s manga are getting English releases this spring—and I’m probably going to buy his book even though I think it’s all in Japanese just to support him because HE IS SO NICE. They’re all so nice. I hope they are all having trouble walking to their front doors for all the money in the way.

Where was I? Oh yes. Not even through the opening credits. Sorry.

So the thing that really struck me this time watching this episode was how important it is. I feel like before I’ve always felt like I sort of endured it to get to the Grand Prix, but there’s actually a ton here that sets up so much growth for both Yuri and Victor individually and as a couple. Like we start out and Yuri is still crazy critical of himself, obsessed with the fact that he had to go first, that he’s the oldest guy there, that he fucked up last time, that he’s been practicing with Victor but he’s not sure about himself. Meanwhile there’s so much going on around him and he’s completely oblivious to it—things which by the end of the series he would never miss, not ever again. Victor eventually points this out, about how Yuri doesn’t support Minami, but it’s deeper than that. Yuri is shutting out everything, focusing like a laser on his likelihood of fucking up, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I don’t know how much the creators of the show meant this to be a narrative about anxiety, but man, this is the episode where they really start to hit those notes well, I feel. I’ve written several books about people with anxiety but most notably live with two people who openly talk about their anxiety as part of their lives, and what Yuri goes through is exactly what my husband and daughter experience as people with clinical anxiety. It’s like this second skin, this third person you have to watch out for, and if you aren’t careful, it will drive your bus. It’s very much driving Yuri at the beginning of this episode, and the way things are initially set up, it’s going to continue.

Victor, meanwhile, is debuting as a coach and I think he is about as nervous as Yuri, but he shows it differently. He comes off as a dingbat, and I’ve written about him as such, but I think this is an act, in hindsight. I think Victor is scared. I think he wants to do well by Yuri but doesn’t know how, so he tries to keep it light and goes for his knee-jerk which is to play the ditz. Except as usual with Yuri this doesn’t work. He can’t fake his way with Yuri. Yuri just ignores him—literally just blanks him. I mean, Victor tries to shake this off by interrupting Yuri and talking for him, lending his confidence, but Yuri interrupts back and says no, I’ve told you, I was a mess and will be a mess most likely, you don’t understand. So Victor dresses up, to distract, to be professional, to make Yuri hot for him—all of the above? But no dice. Yuri is too set on being a mess. Victor tries to give him a cheerful pep talk and Yuri just walks off.

The only thing that works is for Victor to literally grab him. To hug him, to embrace him and whisper seductively in his ear and remind him, not in his ditz voice but in his real voice, what he should do. And while Yuri skates, we hear this is the voice Victor has used in practice. This is their private voice.

Now, also notice that as soon as Victor does this, Yuri changes. Suddenly this is a private performance. Yuri is sassy to the audience, and he remembers private times with Victor, as if the competition has faded away and there is only Victor and their time at Hastesu together. Even when he makes a mistake, he remembers Victor holding his hands in onsen and telling him his body makes beautiful music. It’s not his best performance of Eros, but it’s his personal best of his skating career so far.

They’re still learning each other, though—Victor reprimands him for not doing his best, which isn’t the right way to go—Yuri needs praise. And then he fucks up more, telling him to focus on his performance and lower the jump levels. None of these bits of advice are wrong, mind you—they make all the sense in the world. But Yuri is stubborn, and he doesn’t want to lower the jump levels. He wants to do both at once. So he’s frustrated with Victor all over the place. And then when Yuri is interviewed and doesn’t answer right away, Victor leaps in to speak for him, lending his confidence again. This might be for the best as Yuri doesn’t seem to know what to say for himself yet. But it’s not ideal, and it seems clumsy.

Yuri is also screwing up, with Minami. Minami is so eager to please Yuri, to show him his skating, which is modeled on a performance from Yuri’s past, but Yuri is too obsessed with his own past mistakes and potential for screw-ups now that he can’t see he’s being idolized the same way he did Victor. So he steps on Minami’s feelings and his motivation and misses a chance to lift himself up too. It’s just a mess.

Victor sees this and scolds him, which initially upsets Yuri, but he seems to eventually figure it out and then encourages Minami. This isn’t enough, though. He starts to watch Minami, with Victor’s words in mind, and he finally sees himself in the younger skater, both skills and flaws. And between Victor and Minami—both of them are required—Yuri finally finds himself. When he arrives for his free skate, he arrives. He is, at last, the Yuri Katsuki we will know throughout the Grand Prix, the one who will eventually get his moment on the podium.

I love the moment when Yuri stalks down the aisle to meet Victor—love Victor’s admiration of his costume and how beautiful Yuri looks in it, the lip balm, the embrace. The embrace in particular caught me this time around. It’s more than just a good luck hug, I think. Victor acknowledges Yuri has overcome his demons, that he’s gotten his shit together and is ready to do this thing. He doesn’t need to be propped up this skate. He’s just going to fucking skate.

I love too that we get Victor’s narration while Yuri skates. I remembered while I watched what it felt like to watch this skate for the first time, to feel that tension. It’s so wild to watch it now knowing everything I know, having seen it so many times. To know what Yuri’s added, where this skate took them both. I love all the cuts to Victor’s super-blue eyes. I love the way Yuri looks so uncertain still, how this really is him still refining the skate and you can tell.

I also love knowing we’re getting a fucking movie full of skating. And that Victor will skate too.

There’s something so sweet and still about this ep, though. The calm before the storm. The brilliance of this competition is the same as the inclusion of episode four. We need to see them here before they take off. And we need that damn wall nosebleed too. I love that Yuri gets a nosebleed not as an anime stereotype for Victor but literally a nosebleed, for effort. And that Victor rejects his embrace because of it. I’ve loved that this whole time. And the next time they do this skate…

Sigh. So much happy sigh.

We end this skate with Yuri not nervous and eaten by his anxiety but giving autographs and reporting he got lost in his skating because it was the most fun he’d ever had at a competition. Then he gives his press conference and basically declares, to the world, that he loves Victor—not just loves him but loves him in this complex, important way only the Japanese language has a word for, and he does it with the exact opposite of feeling as he was radiating when Victor had to step in and finish his sentences for him. He is confident and powerful and amazing. This is our boy, our Yuri. This is why Victor, and all of us, love him so much.

Oh, tomorrow is episode six. Except tomorrow is busy with a lot of stuff, including my birthday, so I might not be able to get there until Saturday. But we will get there. Make no mistake.

Rafflecopter link for the giveway accompanying this set of reviews/recaps. (Full explanation post, pic link as reminder of stuff on offer.)

A single stroke can change your world.

Xander Fairchild can’t stand people in general and frat boys in particular, so when he’s forced to spend his summer working on his senior project with Skylar Stone, a silver-tongued Delta Sig with a trust fund who wants to make Xander over into a shiny new image, Xander is determined to resist. He came to idyllic, Japanese culture-soaked Benten College to hide and make manga, not to be transformed into a corporate clone in the eleventh hour.

Skylar’s life has been laid out for him since before he was born, but all it takes is one look at Xander’s artwork, and the veneer around him begins to crack. Xander himself does plenty of damage too. There’s something about the antisocial artist’s refusal to yield that forces Skylar to acknowledge how much his own orchestrated future is killing him slowly…as is the truth about his gray-spectrum sexuality, which he hasn’t dared to speak aloud, even to himself.

Through a summer of art and friendship, Xander and Skylar learn more about each other, themselves, and their feelings for one another. But as their senior year begins, they must decide if they will part ways and return to the dull futures they had planned, or if they will take a risk and leap into a brightly colored future—together.

Buy links

Heidi Cullinan has always enjoyed a good love story, provided it has a happy ending. Proud to be from the first Midwestern state with full marriage equality, Heidi is a vocal advocate for LGBT rights. She writes positive-outcome romances for LGBT characters struggling against insurmountable odds because she believes there’s no such thing as too much happy ever after. When Heidi isn’t writing, she enjoys playing with new recipes, reading romance and manga, playing with her cats, and watching too much anime. Find out more about Heidi at heidicullinan.com.

[cutesilyo]

On Love: Anxiety (A Yuuri Katsuki Analysis)

The thing about Yuuri is that he's such a relatable character to me. Even more so now that he's in a relationship with Victor, so I can honestly say that YOI is the anime that I've always needed.

Because:

Yuuri has anxiety.

Yuuri is in a relationship.

Yuuri is in a relationship with someone he thinks is too good for him.

Yuuri has a low opinion of himself.

Yuuri is an unreliable narrator.

Yuuri hates losing.

...and etc.

These are all things that I can relate to! So, forgive me, but I absolutely hate how this anime ended. And although I loathed Episode 12 to death, the ending of Episode 11 was something I didn't expect and yet it was something I didn't know I needed — mainly because Yuuri’s anxiety reared its ugly head in a way that I am all too familiar with.

[Pictured: Yuuri Katsuki clenching his fists in an attempt to gather up the courage to ruin his own life for Victor's sake]

i.e. Cutting your own losses before you lose them.

So from the perspective of someone who also has low self-esteem and is in a relationship with someone who I think deserves much better, here's why I believe Episode 11 was necessary in a way that Episode 12 did not give justice to. Here we go!

You see, I have this tiny theory here about what Yuuri was thinking when he said those words that ultimately broke everybody's hearts. Everybody's been talking about it since the episode aired. But here I am, regardless, because I need to deposit these two cents of mine even though the account is already positively overflowing.

There's this belief I have, and I have no idea if this is just something that I have because I've been raised with an Oriental mindset or something specific to just me, but I'm afraid of being too happy. I believe I can only achieve a particular level of happiness; if I experience more happiness that I deserve, bad things happen. If I have too much, you bet your ass at least some of that will get taken away.

There needs to be balance in this world, or so I and many others believe — there is no shadow without light, and the moon has no meaning if she is not opposite the sun. Suffering and happiness? They go hand in hand. And in the same vein, there is no success without strife —  and that's widely preached. But the opposite is also true; because there is no strife without success, and I'm willing to bet my non-existent balls that Yuuri and Victor are kind of the epitome of the latter.

[Pictured: Victor Nikiforov before he met Yuuri Katsuki, i.e. incredibly lonely and trusting only a dog for providing him constant companionship]

And while Victor's end of the spectrum — his gold medals were the fruits of labor that his loss to life and love bore — were given their high-key focus in Episode 10, Yuuri's end of the spectrum was a low-key theme throughout the entire series. Yuuri's talents were paid with leaving his hometown and family to pursue an incredibly unconventional career choice, having the press hound him for every anxiety attack that he can't control, and bearing that enormous pressure of representing his entire nation on his shoulders — and his poor anxiety-ridden heart can't deal with that most of the time.

[Pictured: Yuuri Katsuki's mouth giving an involuntary wobble before he forces himself to smile for his parents' sake, also known as a frame that deserves more attention]

There's a stereotype for Asian parents: that if their child gets less than an A, it's a failure. It's a joke most of the time; for Yuuri, he applies that to his entire career as a competitive figure skater. Add the fact that he's representing the whole of Japan for one of the highest titles a figure skater can get, and the anxiety he's developed over the years, and you get a bundle of nerves on the best days — complete breakdowns at the worst.

Plus his dog died just days before, or maybe even during, one of the most important competitions in his life.

Oh, and he is an unbelievably sore loser.

[Pictured: Yuuri Katsuki in that infamous shot of him breaking down in the bathroom; note that he only lets himself cry when he thinks that there is nobody around to see him]

And he's probably thinking i could have done better and he's probably thinking i guess i really should retire, but I propose that he's also thinking this is payment for all the other competitions i've won, isn't it? That he's thinking, this is payment for all the hardships i've put on everyone else. That he's thinking, oh well, i guess i deserve this after all.

It's like all the little bad things he's done over the years have finally come back to haunt him in one big smack of karmic retribution, right after the cruelties of fate have already given him a taste of what it felt like to be part of the winning team. Because don't tell me that Yuuri didn't feel this sense of pride, of fulfillment, of complete and utter joy when he was assigned to the GP Series and qualified for the Finals. That he didn't feel happy when he got the chance to train, abroad, with an actual coach and an actual rink despite just coming from small, seaside Hasetsu. That he didn't arrive at Detroit, wide-eyed and nervous but so young and hopeful, knowing that he was the JSF's certified top skater.

Then he lost at the GPF and he probably felt like all of that went moot. That all of a sudden, all his medals and trophies and successes didn't mean anything anymore. There's a reason why Minami was introduced, after all: to bring home the point that while Yuuri thinks he's an average skater, it doesn't mean that it's necessarily true.

It's further cemented by the fact that, when Minami says that his costume was inspired by one of Yuuri's older ones, he's mortified as he shrieks, "That's a costume from my dark past!"

Minami, bless him, talks back and says that Yuuri doesn't have a dark past to speak of. He's the actual cinnamon roll of YOI, guys. Imagine how happy he was when he cheered for Yuuri in the GPF in Yuuri's own house and saw, in person, all the trophies that Yuuri had been keeping in the background — and the fact that Yuuri even keeps them in the background speaks so much of his lack of self-worth that it deserves its own meta.

[Pictured: Kenjiro Minami, tears in his eyes as he screams out at his idol: You don't have a dark past! Don't make fun of me for looking up to you for so long and trying to catch up with you! — breaking our hearts in the process]

So, basically: if Yuuri had given all he had with skating, was rewarded with triumphs and successes only to feel like that had all been taken away when he was dead last at the GPF (and not to mention, he probably feels like all of this was justified); why wouldn't he feel that way about Victor?

Because Victor makes him happy. So happy, in fact, that his skating and confidence levels have reinvented themselves as a response to Victor's presence in Yuuri's personal life. Why wouldn't he think that Victor was too good to be true? Why wouldn't he be scared that the cruelties of fate would, once again, take away his source of happiness in a twisted form of giving balance to the world?

So he comes up with defense mechanisms. He blabbers in metaphor and dabbles in double-meanings (Episodes 1-3) and he feels so relieved that Victor seems to accept that it's just the way he prefers to express himself (Episode 4). But then he keeps falling and falling and he gathers up the courage to be more accepting of his past because of Victor (Episode 5), to be more bold for Victor (Episode 6), to be more couple-y with Victor. (Episode 8)

And ordinarily, that would be a good thing right? He's growing up! There's character development! He has more confidence now!

But YOI, god bless YOI, shows that anxiety doesn't just go away. It comes back to haunt you and when you're at your weakest, it strikes. This is best exemplified in Episodes 7 and 9, where it's glaringly obvious — but in Episode 11, it takes some understanding of the previous episodes to know that the entirety of the drama comes from Yuuri simply being an unreliable narrator again than from any actual basis.

[Pictured: Two similar shots of Yuuri Katsuki from Episode 4 and Episode 11 respectively — the former, a happy blush as he prays give me Victor's time, if only just for now; the latter, horror dawns as Yuuri comes to the conclusion that Victor wants to go back to the ice and that their time together is ending]

Because Yuuri is the epitome of unreliable narrator, and Episode 10 was the ultimate peak of the mountain that YOI has been building from the very first episode — in an anime that opens with the self-deprecating protagonist reading articles about his loss, which is intentionally and deliberately set up to overshadow the fact that despite his loss he's still competing in one of the biggest competitions in the figure skating world.

The other thing that YOI has chosen to keep from us until Episode 10 was that despite the entire world being clamorous for him to go back to the ice, Victor actually . . . doesn't want to do that at all. He literally calls it a shackle on his neck. He waxes poetic about the life and love that Yuuri has given him, that he has neglected for so long. He gets kicked in the back and declared as dead by Yurio, and the most he does is mockingly crouch down and ask, did you want to compete against me?

Having Episode 10 come right before the massive fuck-up in Episode 11 was both an explanation and a warning: yeah, yuuri did all that and victor fell in love with him first. now remember how different things looked back in episode 1. because we're gonna go back to that in the next episode and y'all need to know what's real and what's just what yuuri assumes.

And the thing about Episode 10 is that it triggers this impulse to rewatch the entire series from Victor's perspective and contrast that to how different we saw it when it was just Yuuri's perspective we knew about. Doing that brings more impact to Episode 11, I think — which also highlights that despite Yurio found a friend, he still has some humility to learn and his arc isn't finished yet just because he managed to perfect Agape. While I do think he was being too mean (to a point that I considered it OOC, after Episodes 9 and 10), that's a different post altogether.

[Pictured: Celestino Cialdini comforts a sullen Yuuri Katsuki during the Sochi GPF; comes with Yuuri's monologue of I could never openly say that I'd win gold, but I never skated with the thought in my mind that I'd lose anyway]

I think that the way that Yuuri reflects to himself during his FS in Episode 9 echoes how he feels toward Victor. That despite never really admitting out loud that he wanted a gold, he never actually believed he would ever lose either — Yuuri let himself stay stagnant while tiptoeing between having the potential to be a winner and actually being one. In the same vein, Yuuri found himself walking that same fine line between being Victor's future and being Victor's has-been; someone between everything and something, but never actually nothing.

Yuuri let his anxiety get the better of him and he decided that being Victor's past would be best outcome he could ever hope to get. The events of Episode 11 have led him to believe that he would never be Victor's future; or at least, he would never be the future that Victor actually wants. And in Yuuri's twisted justifications, it would be a good thing that they would end their relationship after the GPF; it gives Victor the freedom to do whatever he wants and it gives the Yuuri the relief of not having delved deeper into the idea of them being an actual concrete relationship.

[Pictured: Victor Nikiforov, part of a newly discovered evolved species of humans called homo superior]

Except Victor, unlike Yuuri, has already considered the prospects of having a relationship without a time stamp and jumped right into it. Victor has already established in Episode 10 that he wants Yuuri, and that he would definitely choose a life without competitive skating specifically because it meant getting the love of a lifetime. Screw the consequences, he's getting what he wants and he will put every fiber of his being into nurturing this relationship that gives him all of the happiness that he never thought he could have.

He just never verbalized it. So while Victor gets the concrete proof that Yuuri wants him in the form of giving him the rings (although he does so in a way that implies he doesn't want to admit it), Yuuri doesn't.

[Pictured: Yuuri Katsuki, in doubt of where Victor's happiness truly lies: in a life with skating or a life without it]

Yuuri gets soft and sweet and cuddly Victor and it's enough to make Yuuri hope but it's not enough to help Yuuri understand that Victor truly wants him — how much Yuuri changed him. He knows the Victor that is, as Minako says in Episode 1, free with his charms and winks at the cameras and is touchy-feely with a man he just met; a Victor who was bored and had an impulse decision to coach him and ended up liking him. But the viewers get more insight into who Victor really was before he met Yuuri, who was sad and lonely and hollow — a Victor that fell in love with the boy with the drunken flamenco dance and was looking for an excuse to meet him again.

Victor, like anyone, wants happiness. Winning doesn't give him that anymore, but Yuuri does . . . even though he doesn't even grasp the true gravitas of the love they share.

[Pictured: Yuuri Katsuki, in tears after an amazing Free Skate and the subsequent roar of triumph thereafter; a perfect representation of what we all felt in this scene]

Ultimately, what pissed me off about Episode 12 was that it seemed to betray its own protagonist. We had all the build-up to Yuuri winning gold and finally getting the concrete proof that Victor loves him back and that he is an incredible skater in his own right — because I wholeheartedly believe that the perfect ending to Yuri On Ice would be Yuuri getting gold and realizing that it doesn't matter. And for one moment he would look at all the people who have supported him endlessly and, instead of pushing them away in shame like he would have at the beginning of the show, he would thank them with a happy smile.

How Yuuri would learn not to equate his worth by his losses or wins was always a theme that I wanted the show to address in the Season 2 that I wanted to have, but for that to happen he had to win first in the S1 finale.

But he didn't, and the finale for one of the most popular animes of 2016 was done so cheap that it actually does render the entire anime into moot. So to say I'm disappointed? Yeah, well, that's kind of an understatement.

[Pictured: Yuuri Katsuki with the wrong medal]

[doradojjk]

Retagged by @bookloveranimewatcher I thought I was going to escape the tough questions! 😀😉

1. Hamburger or hotdogs? I actually really like hamburgers. I am a health food/whole food nut but burgers are my weakness. If I was picking my last meal on earth I would be picking hamburgers w/ extra pickles and piping hot french fries.

2. If you had to live in the world of the last anime, book or tv show you’ve seen. How fucked are you? I watched Yuri!!!On Ice when it was being released and then I followed it up by Haikyuu!! Luckily for me, my daughter wanted to watch YOI with me so I am in the midst of rewatching YOI. I say luckily because I love it and also because I don’t think I am fucked at all. It’s beautiful and I would be around Viktor (and Yuuri and Yuri) and how on earth could that be anything but glorious?

3. Any college advice (I really need some advise I am lost) (super optional this one) Sure. College can feel like a pressure cooker. I would say the most important thing is to finish whatever level you have started (undergrad, masters, doctoral, etc). Don’t pursue the next level unless you want it and will finish what you begin. Don’t stress too much about your major. After all, a major isn’t a professional declaration, it is merely what will be written on your degree. For instance, my husband works for a consulting firm in the world of natural energy but his degrees are in Civil Engineering and Construction Management. I majored in Child Psychology but am a teacher. Neither one of us is really doing something that our degree naturally led us to. Piggybacking off that, try to find internships in any job you are considering after school. It will give you an idea if that is a good path to pursue or not quite what you had envisioned. Have fun and try to relax. College is that last time you will have the level of freedom that it gives you. You are an adult but you don’t have to play the full adult responsibility game quite yet (and I had no cash from my parents, had a lots of loans I am still paying back 14 years post-grad, and had to work FT in the summers and PT during each semester--it was still a fun time). Lastly I would say don’t stress about grades too much. I have never been asked about my GPA or Dean’s List status for any job I have ever applied to or obtained. “Cs get degrees” is a saying for a reason. It is what it is. (Obviously if you are heading to any kind of post-grad education, there are academic requirements/test scores which do need to be focused on and acquired.) ****If you have any specific questions, I can try to help or just listen! This was super vague but I was not sure what you are feeling stressed about specifically.

4. Do you play a instrument? Do you sing? I play the piano adequately. I sing adequately. No one would ever request me to do either.

5. What’s your unusual skill? I bake my own bread and brew my own beer. Right now, I have a root beer stout that I just bottled on Sunday and needs to condition for 2 weeks (but I will throw one in the fridge this weekend after 1 week to sample and see how it’s doing...I have the patience of a toddler).

6. Favorite fruit? So hard. Since it’s autumn right now I have to say apples. This changes seasonally for me.

7. Which school archetype do you think you fit into best? Which one would you want to be in? Like in 80s John Hughes rom-coms? I went to an all-girls prep HS so there weren’t the hierarchical breakdowns the same way. Hmmm...but I played volleyball, basketball, rugby, and ran track in HS so I think I would have been a jock. But I always secretly was a little jealous of the artsy theater crowd. 

8. Do you consider tomatoes a fruit or a vegetable?  Botanically a fruit but functionally a vegetable.

9. Do you have a pet? Would like to have a pet if you don’t already? I have 2 cats. I sometimes wish I had no cats. Kids are animals enough. 😜

10. What jobs did you want to be when you were really young? After I tore my ACL and cartilage and needed a knee reconstruction in HS, I wanted to be a physical therapist. However, my PT and I were talking about it and she was mentioning how competitive it is and even having a degree doesn’t guarantee you a job in the field (and this was in the booming job economy of the 90s). It scared me away from even considering it again. Pathetic yes, but I’m not a cutthroat person. So I’m a teacher and it is a good fit for me and my family.

I tag whomever wants to answer these questions. These are different questions than other ones I’ve seen and definitely fun! Actually I will specifically tag @upagainstabookcase and @kazliin because I’d love to get to know more about you both, outside the fantastic world-building and brilliant writing that you do in your respective fandoms.

[murasaki-murasame]

Yuri on Ice Rewatch: Episode 1

I’ve been planning to do this for a while now, and since the one-year anniversary has come around, I figured now would be a convenient time to start this rewatch. I know I might be a day early on this, but I don’t think I’d have time tomorrow to do this, so I’d rather do it now and get it up a day early than get it up a day late.

We’ll see how this turns out, but I at least want to use this rewatch to discuss my own personal history with this show, how it affected me while it was coming out, what the fandom was like at the time, etc. So this will probably be less of a review or anything like that, and more of a trip down memory lane for me as I revisit this show. Basically this is just my way of getting out all my feelings on this show, so keep that in mind.

I only decided yesterday to start this now as part of the anniversary rather than doing it sometime next year before the movie comes out, so this first post might be a little messy and unorganized, but I should get the hang of it soon enough.

My plan at the moment is to rewatch one episode a week, on each of their respective anniversary dates, for the next few months. If I can manage that. After that, I might try and do a cohesive review of the show as a whole, and I might do a post about my speculation regarding the movie. We’ll see.

I’ll put the rest under a cut since everything after this point ended up being like 3.6k words long and I think I spent like three hours on it.

Before I properly sit down and rewatch episode one, I want to talk for a bit about my history with the show before it aired, what my expectations were, etc.

I’ve more or less been with this show from the very start. I remember seeing the initial teaser image of the logo, and all of the proper trailers as they came out. I didn’t really think much about the teaser image when it came out, since I’m not really a huge fan of sports anime in general, I didn’t really have an interest in figure skating in particular, and I didn’t know much of anything about Sayo Yamamoto as a director. I’m pretty sure that after the teaser image came out, I started hearing vague whispers about how amazing Yamamoto was, and how great her shows were, so I decided pretty early on that I was probably going to watch it, even though I didn’t have much to go on.

Right from the start we all pretty much assumed that the show was going to be about female figure skaters. Partly because I’m pretty sure the logo was pink the first time we sure it, partly because Yamamoto was most well-known for doing shows about women, and partly because it had the word ‘yuri’ in the title. It was pretty obvious that that wasn’t actually what it meant, but damn if it didn’t stop people from making jokes about it. Though I guess it didn’t help that we also had Yuri Kuma Arashi from a few years before that did indeed use that exact meaning of the word in it’s title.

Then a few months or so later the trailers started coming out, and we got a better idea of what the show was actually about. And let me just say that the ‘yaoi on ice’ jokes stopped being funny the exact moment the first one was made. And they were definitely made immediately after the first trailer came out, way before the show even started.

At the time, the idea of it being about male figure skaters made me pretty immediately cautious, since sports anime has a pretty bad track record of shallow queerbaiting, and I didn’t really expect this show to be the one that finally delivered. It didn’t help that some of the scenes used in the trailers, like the lip-touching in episode three, didn’t quite come across well out of context.

I also want to take the time to mention that the season right before Yuri on Ice started, we had Battery: The Animation, which was basically like the polar opposite of YoI in terms of being a sports anime with a gay protagonist. It was just . . . not great. At all. It went a long way toward reaffirming my doubts about if the sports genre could ever do this sort of thing well, which made me even MORE apprehensive about YoI. I still have a bit of a grudge against it to this day, but it at least serves as a very convenient way for me to point out how ludicrous it is for anyone to act like any sports anime with a gay protagonist would be popular and successful, because that show sure as heck wasn’t. I should also point out that in the same season we had the Danganronpa 3 anime, and even though this is kinda sort of a spoiler, it had a pretty . . . depressing and not great depiction of a gay male character, so that was like a one-two punch of me getting pessimistic about the chances of ever getting good and happy gay rep out of the anime industry.

Either way, even in spite of that, the animation quality and the music from the trailers alone were enough to win me over and make me want to give it a try, even if I was bracing myself for disappointment.

Also, even though I don’t think I ended up watching it until way later, I highly recommend that any Yuri on Ice fans check out Endless Night, which was Sayo Yamamoto’s Animator Expo short film from a year or two ago. You can really tell how she was regaining her enthusiasm as a director by going all in on her love for figure skating. In hindsight it’s pretty interesting to consider that she probably did Endless Night when she had already begun working on Yuri on Ice as a concept and shopping it around. For the record, she also went on to do the opening sequence of Persona 5, which is another example of her putting her love of figure skating into her work.

Anyway I should probably actually sit down and watch the episode itself before I spend an hour on this whole beginning section alone. I think I’ll keep making these beginning sections for each post before I sit down and watch the episode itself, but they’ll hopefully be less lengthy than this one.

---

OK let me just say first of all that I spent pretty much the entire episode choking up, and I was basically on the verge of tears during the entire ED sequence. I knew that rewatching this would be an emotional experience for me.

It’s kinda difficult to even put into words how much Yuri on Ice means to me as an individual, especially since I’d like to stick mostly to talking about this first episode alone. But I’ll at least say that it is undeniably the most personally meaningful piece of media I’ve ever encountered. It means the world to me. Before it aired, I had pretty much become resigned to the idea that, at least within the anime industry, the best representation I was going to get was some variation of the Bury Your Gays trope. I’ll probably get more into this later down the line, but I don’t think I even consciously realized exactly how much I needed something like this, since even outside of anime I’d never really experienced a story like this. And even when I started watching it, the full effect and realization of how meaningful it was to me was a gradual process that kept building up and up as the show continued to surpass my expectations, more or less culminating in episode ten.

Which is part of why I like the opening monologue of this episode on multiple levels. It obviously refers specifically to Yuri’s sense of unending surprise toward Viktor as a person [which obviously gains more and more context and weight as the show goes on], but it also matches the way that the show itself was an unending series of surprises for us as the audience. We had no idea what to expect from it, and it kept getting better and better.

It’s probably not even worth noting at this point that this rewatch series is going to mostly be focused on the romantic sub-plot in the show, because that’s the part I love the most. Obviously I love the entire show and all of it’s facets, but still. I guess my main point here is more that I won’t be talking that much about the sports aspect specifically, for the most part, since I have less of an interest in sports in general, and I’m not particularly well-versed in how figure skating works so I’d feel hesitant to talk about it much. I have immense respect and love for all of the people in the fandom who ARE actually into figure skating, though, either as fans or as athletes. Their insight into the show has been an invaluable resource for me. I might not be much of a sports fan in general, but having a greater understanding of how it works, by listening to what other people have been saying since the show started, has definitely added to my overall appreciation for the show as a whole.

Also, somewhat ironically, this is one of the episodes with the least to talk about romance-wise since Yuri and Viktor have like thirty seconds of shared screen-time in it, so I’m probably going to spend most of this post talking about other stuff. Mostly.

To start with, I love the animation and art across the show as a whole, but I think we can all agree that episode one is the peak in terms of animation quality. Not that the other episodes are badly animated in any real way, just that this episode really hits it out the park with some stunning sequences. There’s some wonderful bits of character animation in this episode, like Minako’s ballet move when she meets Yuri at the airport, or the cut of Hiroko running up to meet Yuri at the inn’s entrance, or Yuko being all bouncy and energetic. Not to mention really well-done close-up shots like the bathroom scene with Yuri and Yurio. I really like the heavily shaded and sharp style used in that scene. 

But of course, the real stand-out piece of animation in this episode was definitely the joint Stammi Vicino performance, which is still one of my favourite scenes in the show. It’s incredibly well done. It’s a bit sad that none of the skating animation after this episode quite matches it, aside from maybe Welcome to the Madness, but I’m pretty sure that this sequence in this episode took several months to animate on it’s own, so I can’t exactly blame them for not keeping this level of quality once we started getting like five or six performances an episode.

One of the things that I remember surprising me the most about the show at first was how dynamic, energetic, fast-paced, and feel-good it was. With how relatively somber and slow the trailers were, and with the vague whispers I’d heard of Sayo Yamamoto being a cult classic director, I kinda got it into my head that the show would have a more . . . low-key atmosphere and sense of pacing than it actually did. I’m not sure how to describe it. In general I tend to think of obscure cult classic directors as the kinds of people who make things that are slow, psychological, moody, probably depressing, etc etc. So I was not at all expecting something as vibrant and fun and full of personality as what we got in this. I still think that the relentlessly feel-good vibe of the show is a huge reason why it struck so well with people. It doesn’t really get mentioned a lot, but it can be a surprisingly difficult concept to describe, at least in a way more detailed than just saying ‘fun things are fun’.

I also want to give a shout-out to the background art of the show, which is fantastic across the board for the entire show. I’m never really good at articulating my praise for stuff like this, but still. I think the show would have looked a lot different, and a lot worse, if it had more generic background art. Especially in terms of colour palette and shading and whatnot.

To this day, I still deeply appreciate the fact that this is a story about adult athletes who are high up in their respective field, and are struggling with adult problems. It helps to set it apart so much from most sports anime out there. Of course, even this sort of concept could be handled badly by a lesser production team, but you get what I mean. It’s a breath of fresh air. And, along the same lines, I also love that it’s clearly aimed at a more adult audience than a lot of other anime in general. It’s easy to not really think about it, because we kinda associate things ‘aimed at an adult audience’ with things that have lots of nudity or violence, but I think the idea still applies here. And even if it’s not handled quite the same as what we’d think of as ‘depictions of adult sexuality in television’, there’s still a whole lot of sexiness going on in this show.

Just to lay it out there, I honestly think that Yuri is one of my favourite fictional characters of all time, if not my absolute favourite. I have so many strong feelings about him. He’s absolutely wonderful. His entire character arc and personal journey is one of the most inspirational things I’ve seen in my life. And for a lot of reasons I just see a lot of myself in him, even though we’re very different people.

I don’t know where else to say this, so I guess I’ll just say here that it was his development and journey that inspired me to get into drawing, which I’d been putting off for years because I didn’t think I’d be good at it or enjoy it enough. I haven’t exactly done the best job at keeping up with it as a hobby, but over the last ten months or so I’ve nearly completed one sketchbook, so that’s something! I’ve only posted one drawing of mine thus far, but I plan to post more as time goes on. Probably mostly stuff to do with my OCs. I definitely want to do some proper Yuri on Ice fan art though in the future and post it here, and I’m still kinda sad I didn’t get any done by today, but I’ve been too busy lately to work on it, and I didn’t want to rush something out just to meet a certain important date. I’ll try and post some by the time I’ve done this rewatch, though.

Of course, that’s not the only thing this show has helped me with, on a personal level. I’ll probably get more into this over the rest of the rewatch, especially at the end, but this show really has become an emotional support for me. It’s helped me through a lot of dark places. I don’t know where I’d be without it.

One thing I want to get into is how incredibly different this episode feels in hindsight, now that I know what happens later. I’ve already rewatched it once, so it’s not a big surprise or anything, but still. The scenes with Viktor in particular feel very different when you know who he is as a person. When you know that he’s just a lonely, dissatisfied dude who wants to feel love and passion. The Stammi Vicino scene in particular is even more depressing and emotional when you understand that it’s basically a cry for help.

The fandom hypes up the episode ten twist and how it recontextualizes the entire show, and it really, REALLY does. It makes everything feel way different when you understand that Yuri was the one who asked Viktor to be his coach, and that he was the one who first enthralled Viktor by giving him a glimpse at a possible path to revitalizing his love of skating, and finding true, genuine love along the way. Of course Yuri was already enthralled by Viktor as an idolized god figure of sorts before that, but you get what I mean. The banquet was basically the first time they properly met as individuals. But I won’t go too deeply into the banquet scene just yet. I’ll save that for the episode ten post.

[Also I should probably admit that I still can’t quite remember if the banquet happens before or after the ‘commemorative photo’ scene. I know I should have the exact timeline of events there memorized, but it’s kinda foggy]

It’s also sorta interesting to look at Yurio’s whole attitude in hindsight, knowing that he always secretly admired Yuri and was angry at him because he knew he had so much potential and strength within him. But honestly, just to be blunt, I still don’t really care that much about Yurio’s character in general so this part is kinda vastly overshadowed by, uh, everything else, lol. I don’t really dislike Yurio or anything, I just think that he’s the least compelling or interesting of the major characters.

Before I get into shifting focus toward what the general audience reaction to this episode was, I should probably comment on the OP and ED a bit, since I haven’t yet. Personally I adore both of them. They’re wonderful. I still think that History Maker is one of the more iconic and memorable anime OP songs out there, and it never ceases to make me emotional. I still wish that the actual art and animation for the OP was more . . . interesting, though. The animation style is really good, but it suffers from a lot of noticeable recycling of animation, and the backgrounds are pretty flat and empty, although I still like the splashes of colour done at the start. I’m not entirely sure how I’d suggest improving the OP visually aside from doing it completely differently, though. But there are other Sayo Yamamoto OPs I prefer visually to this one. Like the more recent Kakegurui OP. I don’t really know if that OP’s style would have fit Yuri on Ice, but still. Even with my slight gripes about the visuals, I really can’t overstate how much I adore the song itself.

The ED is also really nice. It gets kinda overshadowed by the OP, but it’s still good on it’s own. The Instagram style is really effective and feels fresh and modern. The song itself is rather good, but not quite as memorable as History Maker. The real strong point of the ED is definitely the visual side of things. Other than the aforementioned Instagram style, I really love the images used. The assorted pictures of all the various skaters are nice, and help set up their characters pretty well, but the best part is definitely the fun, domestic scenes between Yuri and Viktor that are interspersed throughout the ED. They’re absolutely fantastic, and they’re the main reason why I have a desperate need for an entire OVA purely consisting of those sorts of scenes. I’m still internally screaming over how the scenes of them playing at the beach and them playing under the fountain were meant to be actual scenes, but were cut for time. I’d love to see what those scenes would have been like. Even the glimpses we got are wonderful, especially with how they help paint a broad picture of how happy and fun their daily lives were together, and how close they got over the course of the show. Especially after episode four or so. It just kills me in the best way possible, to think that stuff like them playing at the beach and being casually touchy-feely and just being happy and joyful was probably a completely normal daily thing for them. Not to mention the other little moments we see, like that one shot of Yuri smiling with his eyes closed while Viktor’s sitting behind him, combing his hair. It’s such a perfectly domestic and casually intimate little moment. It melts my heart every time I look at it. The more I think back on the entire show in hindsight, the more it rings true that Yuri really is the only one who gets to see Viktor’s hidden cute side. Considering that we see basically the entire show from Yuri’s POV, it’s easy to forget that basically everything about how Viktor acts around him is very different to how he is with other people.

Also I just wanna quickly say that the show’s soundtrack is fantastic. Both the background music and the skating songs. Though the skating songs are a bit more punchy and memorable. Just hearing Stammi Vicino still makes me tear up a bit.

Anyway, now I should probably touch a bit on the wider audience reaction to this episode. I won’t really have a lot to say on this end of things for this entire rewatch, since it’s kinda difficult to dig up the stuff people were saying a year ago, but still.

The most convenient links I can find to reactions are the Anime News Network Preview Guide post about the first episode, and the Reddit discussion thread for episode one.

The main point I want to make with this is that everyone pretty much immediately loved the show, and most people pretty much agreed that it was the best premiere of the Fall 2016 season. Which I agree with. It’s probably one of the best first episodes I’ve seen out of all the anime I’ve watched.

Though it’s also sorta amusing in hindsight to see people’s reactions to the homoeroticism and whatnot, and everyone’s apprehensions about how it’ll go in the long run. That is, just ‘cause at this point we know where it goes, and that it fully commits to itself. I don’t think anyone watching episode one expected that we’d end the show referring to Yuri and Viktor as fiances/husbands with no trace of irony or wishful thinking.

Anyway I should cut this short because it’s like 2am and my brain is gonna melt soon if I keep writing so yeah let’s just stop for now.

As I said before, I’m gonna try and get one episode/post done per week, so I’ll try and get my Episode 2 post out around this same time next week. I expect that most of the rest of these posts will be a whole lot shorter than this one, though, since there’s so much stuff I wanted to say right off the bat that I probably won’t need to go over again later. Some of these posts might actually be pretty short, depending on how much I can find to say about some of the more skating-dense episodes. We’ll see. I’ll try and at least stick to this schedule.

[aftgonice]

11 questions tag

I was tagged by a lot of people, I kept this in the drafts for weeks and just kept adding questions since they’re always different, so thank you for tagging me and sorry if this post is long (I’ll just put it under keep reading).

Also it might be that I forgot or missed someone who tagged me so if that’s the case I’m sorry I’m not ignoring you I promise!

Rules: 1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people

Questions by @severeminx

You are hosting a dinner party and can invite 5 historical figures. Who would they be? Mozart, Da Ponte, Aristotle, Lucretius, Marie Skłodowska

What was your favorite cartoon as a kid? probably Pokémon!

What’s your signature drink when going out? Japanese ice tea

Do you have any tattoos? If not, would you like to? i don’t have any and i also don’t think i’ll ever find something that i want on my skin permanently, but we’ll see if we get there i guess

Who was your favourite classmate when you were 16? oh god...thank god this didn’t ask when i was 17 lmao...anyway my fav classmate was my then-BFF. there were also a couple of girls i really found interesting but i guess it wasn’t reciprocated so they always only hung out with a bigger group and being the shy person i am i couldn’t let myself try to be friends with them

How did you meet your best friend? we were in kindergarten together lol, but we didn’t talk (play??) much. then we were in different classes during elementary school but we got in the same class again in middle school and that’s where we became friends

Do you like going to museums? What is the art style you want to check out the most? okay i’m going to admit this here. i like museums, okay? but i’d rather see something like a natural history museum or something like that, honestly i’m a big science nerd and i don’t get as excited about art i guess. but i do go to art museums when visiting cities and i actually find them really interesting, but if i’m just in my town and there’s some temporary art exhibition i just don’t really care about going unless it’s something suuuuper famous :/// i feel like a lot of people will hate me for this buT LISTEN SCIENCE IS IMPORTANT GUYS

What feature or quality do you get complimented on the most? are we talking physically?? people like my hair and my nails I guess. If we’re talking personality-wise then idk, they tell me I’m good at listening (which I admit) and my bff told me he thinks I’m brave and I guess I understand why he said it but honestly I still don’t believe it

What is the most romantic place you have ever visited? I’m not sure because since watching YOI the only romantic place on earth for me is Barcelona and I haven’t been there yet lmao. The places I’ve been to aren’t exactly romantic so I don’t know

What would you define as ‘magical’? That thing that your mind does after 1 or 2am when it becomes more loose without needing drugs but it just gets high on lack of sleep and you’re suddenly really talkative and funny and you can have really deep conversations with people and your jokes are honestly on fucking point and you wish you were like that during the day

What is the most expensive item of clothing you have ever bought and was it worth it? I honestly don’t know oh my god. Probably the suit (pants + blazer) I bought a few years ago and that’s still good and whenever I have to be dressed in a “serious and elegant” way that’s what I go for. So yeah it was worth it.

Questions by @yakoucchu

 The piece of makeup that you always wear. i don’t always wear it but if i wanna put on a bit of something then it’s definitely gonna be mascara + lipstick (or colored lip balm) because I think they both make a ton of difference. Actually now in summer I almost always have colored lip balm from Lush because it’s too humid to be wearing mascara and I don’t feel like wearing a waterproof one lol

If you’re gonna be the author of your favorite series, what are you gonna change in it? well that would be a spoiler lmao but i guess i’d make someone who died in it live

There’s a fact that is happened to you and it makes you heart warming a lil bit when you think about it? you mean besides YOI and captive prince? cuz that’s all i can think about lol (there’s more but i’m being lazy with my answer sorry)

 Someone have ever done something that we can define crazy for you? yeah when my bf first came to visit me and we met for the first time (because we met online)

Do you like your current occupation? i’m unemployed but i’m “working” on being able to find a job soon but tbh i have food and a roof on my head and i’m needing this time of doing nothing but trying to take care of myself so i wouldn’t say i like this but it’s all i can do now

Smoothies, or Milkshakes? smoothies

What’s the thing that you love the most about yourself? hsrghsghshgshgsh most difficult question ever tbh. i like that i’m...rational? yeah rational 

The most strange thing that you ever tried to eat grossed you out? ummmmmmmmmm watch me get a lot of hate for this but....................................................sushi grosses me out and i almost puked when i tried it

Are you ever tried to write something, and after a while giving it up? Why? i did, a lot of things actually. i had an idea for a fic that i realized was going to do me more harm than good so i had to ditch the idea. there are things i know i could write but they’re too personal and still too raw so idk if i ever will write them. other WIPs are just there in my folder for no other reason that I either lost inspiration or that they’re honestly fucking hard to write and I still don’t have all the plot 

How do you feel right not? If I said to you “you’re doing great” it can change something? i’m struggling to keep my shit together. and yes, it changes something so thank you a lot for telling me that :) <3

What’s your favorite movie? idkkkkkk i rarely watch movies but of the latest ones i guess interstellar

Questions by @crescendotayuri 

1. what’s one thing you could never live without? my phone lmaoooooo so cliche

2. what’s your favorite part of your daily routine? probably right after managing to get out of bed, the moment i finally sit down for breakfast with a croissant and a cappuccino (typical italian breakfastTM)

3. what are you most passionate about? ...yuri on ice and captive prince and lgbt+ rights and the environment

4. what’s the best dream you’ve ever had? I don’t really know but sometimes I dream that I become internet-famous and it’s really sad that this is literally one of the best dreams I have lmao

5. happiest memory? I have a few but one of them is seeing Florence and the Machine live (i have others but they’re a bit too personal so idk)

6. are there any videos/jokes/etc that never fail to make you laugh? oh god yes........i’m so lame but like any meme will have me laugh tbh. kermit meme? i laugh. dude blinking meme? i laugh. spongebob meme? i laugh. i could go on lmao but i’ll stop embarrassing myself. there’s also a few comics that I have saved on my phone and they never fail to make me laugh but it’d be hard to explain them here

7. one talent you with you had/could perfect? it’s never been my wish to be able to draw but now that i’m into fandom i guess i would like to be able to do it at least a little. and i wish i could perfect my writing (or at least perfect my English at a native speaker level so it’d be easier)

8. a song you relate to the most? Help I’m alive - Metric

9. how do you take your coffee/tea? i only have cappuccino or latte macchiato and only rarely espresso. get american coffee out of my sight. tea is earl grey usually without milk bc i mostly use tea (without sugar) to stop me from wanting dessert lmao but if i’m feeling like it i’ll take it with milk bc it’s too good

10. what do you do to make yourself feel better when you’re sad or upset? i rewatch yoi or go on twitter and hope there’s some good memes but i trust my squad so yeah usually there’s something

11. what makes you proud of yourself? being a decent person despite everything

Questions by @pllsetskyonice:

1. What’s a song you can’t get enough of at the moment? AAAA it’s too hard to choose one! Just one yesterday by Fall Out Boy and literally every song from Lorde’s Melodrama

2. If someone asked you for a book recommendation, what’s the one book you would recommend? The question is trickyyyy because obviously not all books are for everyone especially if we’re talking about stuff with major trigger warnings etc etc but if I have to say I’ll just go with my fav trilogy Captive Prince (granted I’m talking to an adult) but I’ll leave it to them to decide if they’re up to reading it or not

3. Do you play any musical instruments? Nope :( used to play the piano and then stopped like the idiot I am, but I sing

4. Book or movie? Book

5. Do you ever wish you could turn back time? Eh. I guess.

6. Favourite subject in school? Science in whatever form it came (it was different things every school year but it doesn’t matter if it’s geology chemistry or w/e I’m just a huge science kid)

7. You’ve been given tickets to a concert for an artist you’ve always wanted to see live but never had the chance to. Who are you seeing? Maybe Marina and the Diamonds but there’s so many oh my god I also wouldn’t mind seeing Florence again but I’ve already seen her.......oh wait LORDE YES LORDE probably if I had to choose right at this very moment

8. Is there an accessory you don’t feel dressed without? Not really

9. Have you ever been to a festival? I’m not sure what kinda festival you mean but I think not

10. Have you read all of the original seven Harry Potter books? Yeah but still not in English oops

11. What’s the last film/TV show you watched? Last film was Beauty and the Beast when it came out lmao I’m not a huge movie person, last TV show mmmh let’s say that YOI counts for this yes? because it’s always YOI and I don’t feel like watching anything else rip

My questions:

If you were a character in the last book you’ve read, what would be your role? Protagonist, side kick, villain...?

What’s your biggest pet peeve when reading a book or watching a show/anime/movie? (if you can’t only name one feel free to name a few)

Do you consider yourself to be a creative person?

Describe one person in your life you admire without mentioning the type of relationship you have with them

What’s one personality trait you’d give up immediately if you could?

Think of the farthest place you’ve traveled to and describe one culture shock you had while there (even something small)

What’s the one thing that always manages to motivate you?

What would you tell your 10 year old self?

What’s your favorite trope?

If your BFF tells you (lovingly) “why are you like this?” what are they referring to?

Are you scared of something right now? If you are, what’s one sentence you wish someone would tell you about the thing that scares you?

I tag: @betelxeuse @ilgattopatata @ehsocietypretendstoomuch @otayurl @argentoheart @nerily @janiedean @robb-greyjoy @laurent-rose @dotingdamen @venenix but obviously feel free not to do it (but if you do tag me bc I love reading your answers) fdklahrgag I hope I don’t get annoying with all these tags

[sleepykichii]

11 Questions Tag

i was tagged by @pinkheichou @tiny-heichou and @salbelni so that's uh...that's 33 questions holy shit this is gonna be forever long lmaoo

Rules: 1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people

idk if it’ll tag you guys if i put them under the cut so! i tag: @tokyo-ghouls-eat-rawmen @kingtatsunari @bertoltssweat @sluttttysurveycorps @piningmarco @lesliebruhleria @iviarka @softymir @dallyingdivergent @levi-nyanchou @noodlesforlyfe  don’t feel obligated to do this!! 

1. Is there a book/movie that you’ve read/watched many times? Which one? i usually dont like rewatching/rereading things but my guilty pleasure is snk, i love to watch the dubbed episodes and compare it to the subbed episodes, i love going back and noticing details i couldnt bc i was reading subtitles, comparing manga panels to anime scenes, yknow, lil things like that 2. What do you love most about your friends? they try their best to cheer me up when they know i'm feeling down~ 3. Ever been a witness to someone doing something hella embarrassing? (You don’t have to tell anything about it) uh yeah, my best friend irl fell and literally slid down her stairs when she was drunk after prom last year and wanted to do it again 4. A fandom you didn’t think you would ever be a part of? tbh danganronpa. on my old blog, before i got back into watching anime, i thought their hair was rly...unique, to say the least, and didn't think i would ever give it the time of day 5. Do you have a “trash character” you like? komaeda :') and ouma, i know a lot of ppl rly don't like him lmao 6. Pastel or Black? black, i love pastels but i look rly good in black lmao 7. Pet peeves? when ppl ignore/interrupt me, unneccesary loud noises, lack of privacy, AND WHEN PPL CHEW WITH THEIR MOUTH OPEN OH MY GOD 8. If you had one free wish what would it be? (Wishing for xx/endless wishes is not allowed) i would wish to bring immense joy to myself and every person i crossed paths with! 9. What are your favourite tropes/AUs for your ships? holy SHIT im a slut for AUs. i lovelovelove actor AUs, zombie/post apocalyptic AUs, high school/boarding school AUs, college AUs, summercamp AUs, band AUs, coffee shop AUs, apartment AUs...i could rly go on but i'll stop lmaooo 10. Are you an emotional person? VERY 11. Are you more attracted to popular ships or rare pairs? i dont rly have a preference, if i see a ship i like, it's popularity doesn't concern me c:

1. Whats your favorite book? i rly don't know, i haven't read a book in forever fml i've already read all the books on my shelf and they're like...8th grade reading level :-// my most recent read was more than this by patrick ness and it was pretty good! 2. Do you collect anything? stickers!! i love stickers so much lmao what else...cute pins, and i'm slowly building a collection i call 'roadside paintings' where -- you guessed it -- i pick up deserted paintings on the side on the road. i currently have two hanging up in my room! 3. The last Song you listened to? sir sly - high 4. Do you like Tea? If yes whats your favorite kind of tea? fuck yeah!! tea > coffee, all day every day. i rly love blueberry acai green tea and papaya passionfruit black tea!! 5. Whats the first Anime/Manga you ever watched/read? if u wanna get technical, sailor moon was the first ever, but naruto is the first one i went out of my way to watch. the first manga was shugo chara! i would probably still read it bc the characters are adorable and the plot is interesting! 6. Whats your favorite childhood movie? pokemon 2000!! 7. Your favorite poem? the universe took its time on you crafted you precisely so you could offer the world something distinct from everyone else so when you doubt how you were created you doubt an energy greater than us both -rupi kaur 8. Your favorite Painting? i don't rly have one!! 9. Whats the most amazing thing that happened to you? still somehow being alive right this very second 10. Whats the Title of the last Fanfiction you have read? i wanna say it was something simple like 'roommates' or along those lines, i honestly haven't read fanfiction in a couple weeks;; 11. Write 3 Book, Fanfic and Manga Title that you totally recommend! i have the comprehension skills of a potato so idk if you mean three of each or three total so i'm just gonna do three total book: more than this - patrick ness (rly good, rly weird. makes you think about our reality a little more. worth a reread when you're finished so you can piece all the information together) fanfic: blue bear - afishoutofwater (snk/eremin - i was in tears by the end of this, it's so sad but very well written. major character death & angst, just a heads up!) manga: killing stalking (hoo boy. this isnt for the faint of heart, lots of dark themes along the lines of torture and murder. not everyone's cup of tea, and that's okay!! <3)

① What are you most proud of? this is probably stupid to be proud of but it's the first thing that came to mind even though i wasnt that good, i made it into my eighth grade talent show playing the keyboard i got up there in front of the entire middle school and fucked up tremendously BUT I DIDNT CHICKEN OUT! so!! +1 point for tay woohoo ② Have you ever been so impressed you were left speechless? if you mean impressed by someone's level of stupidity, yeah lmaooo, otherwise not rly ③ What’s your favorite time of day? 10AM - 2-3PM, i'm the only one awake during these hours (unless my mom has work) and the house is completely silent for once ④ Is there a certain song that gives you goosebumps everytime you hear it? history maker from yoi gave me goosebumps for a while but no song has consistently given me goosebumps lmao ⑤ Is there something, let it be a hobby/food/movie/book/song/etc., from your childhood that you still love today? i still collect stickers and i still rly love beanie babies...i also don't mind watching the berenstein bears/dragon tales with my niece bc those were my faves when i was a kid ⑥ What never fails to make you happy? my morning solitude and fluffy art/fanfics of my otps!! ⑦ Do you dream? If so, which one was most memorable? i dream sometimes, but my fave reccurring dream is where everything is neon, like the saturation has been yanked up 100%, and i'm just walking down a sidewalk minding my own business, and then it starts raining acid and everything starts melting away until i'm just kinda floating in the void lmao i usually wake up right after everything disappears ⑧ Who’s your favorite tumblr artist/writer/editor/etc.? Feel free to name/tag more than one! the first one that came to mind was @glassesgirl0401, rarepair mom for life ; v ; ⑨ What’s your favorite fanart? Could you please link to its source? omg i love every piece of fanart tht i reblog i cant pick just one!! i rly love how everyone has their own art style and ways of drawing certain things differently, the individuality is what makes art so amazing! ⑩ What’s your headcanoned sexuality/gender identity/romantic orientation of your favorite SNK character? omg there's so many tht i like aaaaa if i had to pick just one, it would be armin and he's hella gay :3 ⑪ ^May I draw them with their pride flag’s colors for you? AAAAAA PLEASE?? that would be so great?! thank you!!! <3

here are my questions, i tried to make them interesting! 1.) If you had one, what was your 'stereotype' in school? (jock, nerd, goth, etc) 2.) What are your favorite and least favorite foods? 3.) Who is your favorite character from your current fandom and why? 4.) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? 5.) What are your favorite hobbies? 6.) Spring, Summer, Fall, or Winter? 7.) What's one obstacle you've overcome recently? 8.) Yes or no: Pineapple on pizza? Fries dipped in mayonnaise? Ketchup on eggs? 9.) What is your most resourceful skill? 10.) If you could pick three fictional characters to bring to life, who would they be and why? 11.) What is the end-goal for you; What do you want to do with your life?

thanks for reading this far lmao sorry that took a lot longer than i thought it would