#yo lets have this fifty some year old white boy do this crazy shit

[anteroom-of-death]

They really had this man doin Parkour.

[bangtanofyourdreams]

Kim Taehyung (Weird)

"So, this is a PG wet t-shirt contest basically?" you muttered while looking at your outfit in your reflection on the side of an old Mercedes.  A white t-shirt, some jean shorts, and a pair of *short* heels.  You felt really awkward in the outfit, but it was what the school had the students wear for the school car wash to fundraise for some mysterious ASB event.  To be honest, your school did a lot of shady things, so this didn't surprise you.

"No, it's a car wash.  But face it, you know I'd win a wet t-shirt contest between the two of us," Taehyung said innocently as he moved a bucket full of car washing supplies to the side.

"But you don't even have... a chest."

"Exactly," he replied.

"Bitch, if you don't shut yo punk ass up, you 'bout to get the ass whooping of yo life, and you'll be wishin-" you started before getting hit in the head with a heeled shoe.  "Tae, I'm gonna fuck your ass up."  

"Get in line, so is everybody else at this car wash," he countered with a wink.  He flipped his shiny hair while you just looked at him with disgust.  One day, you'll probably end up killing him for everything that he has said.  He just shined you that cute little box smile of his, and all of your anger disappeared.  Well, most of it.  He just hit you in the head with some heels, so you had to retaliate, of course.   No sin could be left unpunished.

"Taehyung, you do know that I will smack you across the face with no remorse, right?" you claimed.  His smile widened even more than you thought could be possible, and he started giggling like a little kid.

"No, you wouldn't.  You love me," he teased while doing the most cringy aegyo you've ever seen.  You honestly wondered if he was on drugs, sometimes.  

You smacked him.  However, not across the face.  He was right -- you wouldn't smack him across the face.   As much as he annoyed you sometimes, he was too precious for that.  Also, you weren't that heartless, in general.  Thus, you hit him on his back instead.

Again, he giggled.  "Y/n, I'm gonna slit your throat," he said seriously while locking eyes with you.  Before you could even figure out how to reply to that statement, he continued, "I'm just kidding! We don't have time for that right now.  We have to wash cars now, silly!"  He didn't bother cracking a smile after that, which left you wondering.  At this point in the friendship between the two of you, you stopped questioning these things.  Half of the time, he couldn't even form coherent sentences, and the other half of the time, you had no idea about what he did actually mean with his coherent ones.

You two sat in silence for a few moments, having a stare off.  You always ended losing these staring contests, since he had the most intense eyes that you've ever seen, and you couldn't help but feel a bit intimidated by him.  This boy gave you a rollercoaster of emotions, and it really wasn't good for your health.

"Taehyung.  Y/n.  What are you guys doing?" a voice interrupted your staring match, which annoyed you a bit.  Couldn't this person see that you were busy?  "The car wash event started forty-five minutes ago and you guys have washed a total of zero cars, but look at that!  There are about twenty cars waiting in line to be washed over there."  You whipped your head in the opposite direction of where you were looking and saw the line that the voice mentioned.  Did forty-five minutes really pass that quickly?  All that you'd been doing was messing around with Taehyung the entire time.  

After a few moments of realizing you really were screwed for time, as the event was only an hour and a half in total, you snapped your head to look at the voice speaking to you.  Your class president.  They continued, "Look, I really don't care how these cars get washed, we just need the money.  So get to work, unless you want Saturday School!"  A fake smile spread across their face as they briskly walked away.

Taehyung watched their figure disappear behind the line of cars as they went to talk to another group, then he turned to you.  "Hey, let's make a bet," he proposed.

"Okay, what is it now?" you answered while raising your eyebrow skeptically.  He was full of stupid ideas, and you were sure it'd be another one of those ideas that made you wish you didn't know him.

"I bet that I," he started, "can get more numbers from people here than you can, by the end of the event.  I'll bet you like fifty bucks."  He had a devilish look on his face where his eyes turned up to form little crescent moon shapes -- but it wasn't an eye smile or anything.  It was that creepy "meme face" that he makes where he rolls his pupils to the back of his head and smirks.

"Taehyung you know damn well that I've never even gotten a guy's number before," you reminded him while rolling your eyes.  "I'm not effing betting you fifty dollars for something I already know you'll win."

"So are you admitting defeat, and saying I would win a wet t-shirt contest between the two of us?"

"Are you implying that the only way I could get a guy's number is with my tits?"

"Listen, you do what you gotta do to win this..."

"No."

"Please, y/n," he begged, "I'll do your English homework for a week!  I'm just so bored and need some incentive to actually wash this shit."  He pouted as he looked at his watch, which showed a good three minutes had passed since your guys' class president came to scold you two.  The clock was ticking.

"I honestly don't think you'll leave me alone if I say 'no,' so I'm just gonna say 'yes,' " you agreed, begrudgingly.  He clapped his hands happily before grabbing a bone sponge and a red bucket off of the floor and rushing over to a car waiting to be washed.  

Beating Taehyung wasn't going to be easy, especially since you two were partners for washing the cars and would have to compete for the same audience.  Everybody just seemed to naturally gravitate towards Taehyung for some odd reason, and it annoyed you.  If only they knew what a handful he could be when actually getting to know him.

You picked up your own sponge, determined, and followed Taehyung over to the Toyota Camry.  It was actually in pretty good shape, just probably hadn't seen some soap in a good few months.  However, the driver was sorta cute, and that's all that mattered.  He looked a bit older -- perhaps college-aged -- a perfect victim.  You turned on your charm to the maximum and approached the driver's side window with a shy smile.  Your plan was to act cute (but not cutesy) and friendly, because it would just get too awkward if you were trying to seduce these people with Taehyung right next to you.

"Hey, so, the car wash is five bucks, just saying that before I actually wash it," you opened up the conversation.  So much for being subtly flirty.  Everything that came out of your mouth just seemed awkward and abrupt, and you could see Taehyung trying to stifle a giggle out of the corner of your eye.  Oh, it's on.  You leaned forward a bit in the driver's side window and upped your tactics.  "Hey, you're kinda cute, can I get your number?"  You smiled sheepishly while asking, praying that the guy wouldn't reject you.

"Is that your boyfriend over there?" the guy inquired, looking past you and towards Taehyung.

You immediately denied that, saying, "No!  You're joking, right?"  He chuckled in response and looked back at you, locking eyes with you.

"Aren't you a bit young to be asking for my number?" he continued while laughing.

"I'm... just a young looking eighteen-year-old, okay?" you laughed while turning back to Taehyung, who was staring straight at the two of you.  The guy in the car just laughed with you and finally agreed to give you his number, giving you a nice start to the contest between Taehyung and you.  Apparently, you can get people's numbers if you actually put yourself out there.  Who would've thought?

Taehyung frowned when he saw you return with a slip of paper in your hands, but you just smiled at him.

"We have a lot of work to do!" you reminded him while dunking your sponge in the bucket of soapy water.

After about forty-minutes, both you and Taehyung managed to get five phone numbers each.   You guys had actually washed about fifteen cars together, since the two of you were only working at the washing station of the event, while other teams did the drying.  You actually were surprised you could even get five, and you,  perhaps, were a bit lucky in doing that.  One car had two guys in it who both gave you their numbers; therefore, you technically only had to work your charm four times.  

Only one car remained in the school parking lot that needed to be washed, and that car would decide the fate of the bet between Taehyung and you.  It would either be you or him who would get the last number.  It had to be you, so you could actually win something between the two of you for once.

The car drove forward slowly, and you could feel the tension between Taehyung and you in the air.  When the car finally reached you two, there was a teenage girl in the driver's seat.  Actually, you recognized her.  She was the hot one that always talked to Taehyung in the halls, and you suspected she must have a crush on him or something.  How annoying.  

Taehyung smirked as he approached her window to collect the money for the car wash.  "Hey, that's gonna be five dollars, but I actually think I need your number too," he flirted naturally.  The girl looked between you and him before smiling like crazy.

"Only if you're asking for her," she replied while looking at you.  What.  The.  Hell.  Were you winning the mild wet t-shirt contest so much that you were even catching the attention of women?

"I can't blame you, don't we all want her number?" Taehyung admitted while grinning at you.