#ykw two episodes is barely anything

[nyxypoo]

decisions, decisions

[justablah56]

oh god hi. gothweebcleats here again. i’m finally catching up to the new episodes (still only on 47!! i’m dragging my partner through them) but dear god

(also using canon pronouns rn im a lil put of it LAWL) (also also warning possible sad ahead)

honestly i loved LOVED!!! freddie whipping out taylor’s emotions in hell or high father. like. yeah taylor’s a good fun kid he takes very little seriously and he likes himself and that makes for a charismatic sorta dude that seems like he doesn’t really think much. but god no this kid since day one has been wanting his dad he’s so curious he can barely contain it ‘there’s an empty spot waiting for you where are you’ he loves his mom so so much and she will never be a replacement she will never fill that hole. dad where are you. dad there you are and my first impression of you is terrifying. all i hear is fighting and my friend and i need to be safe we need to get out. my friend left himself behind for you and youre telling me to leave him forever? dude that sucks. no wonder you werent around. i wish i didn’t remember you anymore and that there was a different you here taking care of me

and also thinking abt lincoln. link who loves his dads more than anything. link who thinks knows how important his dads are to his wellbeing, that he wont be safe if his dads arent there. link who grew up and learned his fathers were people too. link growing up and seeing his dad’s mistake firsthand link growing up and seeing that he has to fix his dad’s problem. link knowing his dad cares for him link knowing his dad doesn’t care for him correctly (don’t get me started on grant) link knowing his dad will always love him link knowing his dad will never love him enough.

ykw we’re gonna do the other two as well (as i get closer to current episodes i get Immensely Sadder)

terri marlowe grows up without a dad (there’s an empty spot in my brain; i don’t remember anything before first grade…). a man comes by when she’s 12 and asks for money (we have the same nose (?!) ). her mom yells him out of the house (she never yells, what’s going on??) and they leave the state three weeks later (mom where are we going? … mom??). scary starts at a new middle school somewhere in california (i grew up in illinois). she joins the soccer team (they’re nice enough). her mom gets a boyfriend (ew) and apparently he has the same name as her (double ew!!!). scary wakes up the next morning clinging to a man she doesn’t remember for the sake of hurting a man right in front of her (i want to be mean). she does not spit vitriol during dinner (this chicken is gross..) and she does not warm up to him (i won’t not ever never ever no no no) and he looks like he wants a hug but he goes for a high five instead. scary marlowe has to take a second as her boundaries are respected. scary marlowe hates terry stampler jr with a passion that will never end.

okay so i gotta be real. i’m not.. the biggest oak family fan. henry was my least favorite of the dads and if i look at normal too hard he’ll start looking back and then my eyes will fall out of my head as i try to avoid looking in a mirror. however. normal growing up and his parents (and their friends) liking his sister more. not loving never loving ‘we love you both equally!’ but. normal starts liking citrus candy because his sister doesn’t and that’s all she leaves in the bags that marco brings. normal wearing hero’s hand-me-downs. normal’s mother giving hero the first cookie from the batch every time (even though they aren’t very good anyways). normal’s dad spends, like, every afternoon with hero but it’s totally, like, okay and cool, like, i have homework to do anyways, like, by the time they get back i’ll be snoozing from how hard i was hitting the books haha. normal assuring his parents to put hero first because they will anyways and at least then he doesn’t feel bad about it because now they don’t feel bad about it and see everyone is happy!!! see everyone is having a good time!!! everything is fine nothing is wrong nothing ever will be my parents love me and that’s all that matters

okay i need to finish my partner’s christmas present now i took a break to do this and it’s been. a Hot second. hope u r having a nice weekend aether :) happy holigays

ough oguh ough absolutely eating this up btwwww OK BUT YEAH . taylor in that episode man ,,,, hurt me so much ,,.,..,.,. him just being sad and showing even just a bit of vulnerability and that no , it's not all ok . *I'm* not all ok . ough sobs about Taylor Swift (not that one) forever and ever he is everything to meeee

and linc :( Linc realizing his dependency on his dad's and their failures in raising him ,,,, her realizing that they aren't perfect , they're actually both super fucked up , and as much as they tried not to , they fucked him up too . man ....

waough scary ,, , your whole little analysis here is sososo important to me bcs ough yeah :( scary not knowing her dad as anything other than the one thing that can make her mom yell , and yet attaching to him over Terry . dismissing it bcs cmon he couldn't've been that bad , he must've just had a bad day . I must be remembering it wrong . but really she's just afraid that Terry could be just like him - anyways ,,,. scary makes me so 💥💥💥💥

normal ,, but that's so real like Henry is probably my least favorite of the dads and then normal ,, I cannot look upon him , he is too just like me fr fr /neg . but yeah :( him being upset about being the second choice so he starts to convince himself it's because he wants hero to be the first choice . that it's fine , he likes being second anyways . hes happy to take heros leftover candies , they're his favorites anyways . oh yeah hero can go out with Dad and uncle lark , he has homework he has to be doing anyways . ough normal ,,,,

anywayssss hope you were able to finish your partners present !! hope your weekend was also v good and I wish you happy holigays :3

[meowymeowzers]

ignore this im way worked up

haha yk im really pretty fucking pathetic. its been almost two weeks since someone from one of my timelines ghosted me and im still in a fucking depressive episode and at this point im wishing i was back on alternia what the fuck is wrong with me

like of course i find a matesprit that actually contacts me frequently and then they leave me a few days later. why the fuck cant i keep a quadrant for the life of me

like yeah its so easy to fall into a routine with my moirail but theyre my moirail and its just so easy to be pale for them because they get me! but fuck, i cannot keep a matespritship or kismesissitude for the life of me! not to mention how pathetically i fail in every ashen relationship ive ever tried to pursue, because fuck thats not even pitiable in a good way!

and it stings because im so bad that no one sees any way i could get better so therefore any pitchmate that i have is just someone flushed for me whos doing it to help make sure i dont go fucking batshit and try to kill someone

and ykw it really makes it worse because it was so much easier to pity someone back on alternia, where their situation could be infinitely worse than anyone on earths!

of course some of the sequestered away highbloods had better lives than low or even midbloods but fuck! of course they did! so so many of us always had something to worry about! so many of us had to always be worrying about the past so we couldnt indulge in the present!

it was easy to hate someone for not at least trying to better their situation, or pity someone for scrabbling at the cliffs edge, trying to pull themselves into a safe place- but nowhere they could ever get, even with lets say a seadweller quadrant, would ever be really, honestly safe.

yeah if youre jade or even teal in some places youre just barely coldblooded enough to not be considered vermin, dirt under the shoe of the higher castes. but that does not mean youre worth anything.

its just like- fuck! so many people who werent even there make the mistake of "oh rusts must have tried to help other trolls at least a little bit" and its just so fucking wrong? even if you were another rust? they arent going to give a fuck!

they need to protect themselves and their quadrants, so if that means letting another shitstain defacing the glorious alternia(/sarc) get mauled by an angry highblood? then youre getting mauled. no one even tries to signal theres a highblood coming, they just scrabble away and you better know that means oh fuck run or youre probably dead as hell. no one fucking cares for anyone outside of their quadrants. it was a kill, let kill, or be killed world. literally.

if you were say a gold getting kicked out of your hivestem, and you didnt have an at least jadeblood quadrant, you would either die when the sun came out, or probably have to kill another lowblood for their hive. maybe if youre lucky a more lowblooded quadrant of yours MIGHT be able to shelter you for a bit while you work your ass off to get into a cheaper hivestem.