#yinn rambles 💭

[winterarmyy]

You know what I have been itching to write these days? A people pleaser reader with emotional withdrawal. Like…

All this time Bucky’s been so sweet and doting and she absolutely loves it. I mean it’s new, she’s not used to the princess treatment at all but Bucky makes it feel as if it is only natural for her to feel the butterflies in her chest every second he is near. In past relationships, she was always the one putting in all the effort, bending over backward to meet her partner's needs and keeping the peace. She was the one making sacrifices for the walking red flag she fell in love with. It became second nature to her; she was the caretaker, the fixer, the one who made sure everything was okay, even if it meant neglecting her own feelings.

But with Bucky, it's different. He is the embodiment of a green forest itself. 

Imagine that one day when Bucky came home after a rough mission, he was clearly not okay. She noticed immediately how his eyes, usually bright and full of warmth when he greeted her, were different this time. The usual sparkle, the affectionate heart eyes were replaced by something darker, more distant. His lips were pressed into a thin line, and his brows were furrowed in a way that told her something was wrong. When he walked through the door, there was no familiar rush to scoop her up in his arms, no playful toss onto the bed, and no smothering her with kisses. 

Instead, Bucky barely acknowledged her, walking right past her. He made a beeline to their bedroom, before she could say anything or follow him. She heard the bathroom door slam shut, the sound sharp enough to make her flinch. She tried to stay calm, telling herself it might have been just a loose screw, but deep down, she knew better. Bucky wasn’t feeling his best.

While he was in the shower, she decided to do something to help ease whatever burden was weighing on him. She brewed a pot of warm tea, the kind he always said helped calm his nerves, and prepared a plate of his favourite sweet snacks. She carefully placed them on the kitchen counter, hoping they’d bring him some comfort. But when she went back to their room, her heart sank a little further. Bucky was dressing, his expression still harsh and rigid, the gentleness was nowhere to be seen.

She couldn’t bear the silence between them, the coldness that seemed to have seeped into their usually warm and loving space. So she tried to break it, her voice soft and tentative as she asked, “Are you okay?” Bucky didn’t reply, his back still turned to her as he tugged on his shirt. The tension in the room was cutting, but she tried again, her tone gentle, almost coaxing, “You can tell me anything, you know that, right? I’m here for you.”

But Bucky was resolved to stay in his grumpy shell. When he finally spoke, his voice was deeper, rougher, and laced with an edge that sent a shiver down her spine. “Y/N, please just stop, okay? I don’t need you hovering over me like I'm a damn child. Just leave me alone.”

The words hit her like a punch to the gut. He didn’t shout, not like her exes used to, but the harshness in his tone was enough to scare her. A familiar fear crept up, the kind that made her feel like she might lose him at any moment, just like she had lost others before. Her mind spiraled into self-deprecation, the old voices in her head whispering that she was being annoying, that she needed to know her place, that he was right to push her away. She had overstepped, hadn’t she? She should have known better.

“Okay,” she whispered, the word barely audible as it left her lips. Her eyes, once filled with concern and care, shifted to something else; something colder, almost devoid of any emotion. Bucky noticed the change, but his chaotic mind, swirling with anger and frustration, couldn’t process it fully. So, all he did was watch as she turned and walked out of the room, leaving him alone.

Just as he had asked her to.

Imagine how she shuts herself down from that moment on, as if she went into auto-pilot. She still goes to work, sleep and eat properly, all her daily routine was the same but she completely left Bucky alone. She does not necessarily avoid him, but she didn’t reach for him either. She’d let him touch her, kiss her, but she would never touch him herself, she didn’t seek for him, she didn’t make eye contact unless necessary, and even if he’s close by she’d act as if he is not there and continue doing what she was doing.

It took Bucky a few days to return to his senses. And this dumbass boy thought that she was okay; all because she didn’t avoid him, or glared at him, or yell at him when he apologized. It took him a week after to notice she actually never covered from that night. It was in the little things; the way she no longer met his gaze with the same warmth, how she seemed distant even when she was sitting right beside him, how her smiles never quite reached her eyes anymore. The realisation hit him like a ton of bricks: she had never been okay.

Panic began to well up inside him, gnawing at his insides. He had to fix this, had to make things right. So, he gently sat her down, taking her hands in his. “What’s wrong, doll?” he asked, his voice trembling slightly, fear lacing his words. But when she looked at him, her eyes were dull, empty; so different from the vibrant, loving gaze he was used to.

“Nothing’s wrong, what do you mean?” she replied, her tone flat and devoid of emotion. It was those words, so calm yet so cold, almost robotic. Like she was programmed to reply him as such. And that, shattered whatever composure Bucky had left.

Imagine how hurtful it was to see her like this, he’d grovel like he had never before. But deep down, knowing no amount of ‘sorry’ and sweet words will fix this. So from that day onwards, he’d show how much he loved her through his actions.

He became more attentive than usual to her every need, trying to anticipate what would make her life a little easier, a little brighter. He’d wake up early to make her favourite breakfast, he’d kiss her good morning and good night, but never initiates anything more.

He’d whisper “I love you.” every chance he got. He’d quietly  take on more of the household chores. He’d brush his fingers through her hair as they watched TV together, offering the comfort without expecting anything in return. He was gentle, never pushing her to talk or to be anything other than what she was in that moment.

He’d leave little gestures of love for her to find later; a favourite snack left on her desk, or a small bouquet of flowers on her pillow. He’d  play the songs they used to dance to in the living room, silently inviting her to join him if she felt like it.

But more than anything, Bucky showed his love through patience. He didn’t rush her, didn’t demand that she snap back to who she was before.

And by time, he'd noticed the slight changes. He’d notice how, when he reached out to touch her, she didn’t just tolerate it anymore; she started to lean into his touch, just a little. Her eyes, too, started to change. Where they had once been dull and empty, he began to see the slightest flicker of emotion return.

Sometimes, when he surprised her with a small act of kindness; a cup of tea waiting for her, a blanket draped over her shoulders; her eyes would soften. Bucky also noticed how she began to respond to his presence. When he sat beside her, she would subtly shift closer. She’d linger just a little longer in his embrace when they hugged, and sometimes, she’d even reach out first, tentatively placing a hand on his arm or leaning her head against his shoulder.

These small gestures were like lifelines to Bucky. That she will come back to him, if not now then later. So in the end, he let her heal at her own pace, silently vowing to be there for her, even if it took forever for her to trust him again. 

And yeah, that’s the urge... to write or to read so...

no pressure tags: @sweetiebarnes , @bucksangel , @littlemiss-yeehaw , @flowersforbucky , @dearest-bucky, @sergeantbarnessdoll , @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky , @buckets-and-trees , @buckys-wintersoldier , @bucks-babe , @ellemj , @buckyalpine , @lovelybarnes , @navybrat817 , @targaryenvampireslayer , @jobean12-blog , @all1e23 , @jessybarnes , @buckgasms , @nickfowlerrr , @espinosaurusrexex , @delaber , @buckylattes

[winterarmyy]

no pressure, only if you want to 👀

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut

Reblog this if you want readers to come into your ask box and ask for the “director’s commentary” on a particular story, section of a story, or set of lines. 

Or, send in a ⭐star��  to have the author select a section they’ve been dying to talk about!

[winterarmyy]

Just a passing thought but what if dark!stalker!bucky is infatuated with this lovely girl who he often sees at the local library…

He never approached her, of course. God, no. How can he? He was literally dripped with the vibe of a ‘serial killer’, dark and brood and dangerous and she was just everything soft and sweet. She’d be running scared if he approached her first. So he decided to be patient, to wait for the bunny to walk into the wolf’s den on her own. Though, that didn’t stop Bucky from watching her in the shadows, or sending death threats to all the men she went on dates with, or setting up hidden cameras all over her apartment. 

Bucky made himself comfortable on his bed, fingers lazily tapping on his phone, checking each camera to make sure none of them were out of order. “Perfect. Now, where’s my sweet bunny?”

Honestly, Bucky never expected anything from this, oh who was he kidding? He was kinda expecting to see her curled up in her comfy chair, buried behind a book like how he often sees her in the library and maybe see her spend hours on rubbing her skin with those perfumed moisturizer because she always smelled so fucking good.

I mean, he did see those things, but more. So much more. And he was not ready for it. He didn’t know why it never came across his mind, maybe because of how soft and sweet she was acting with other people but…. there she was; doing the weirdest, silliest, quirkiest, stupid things when she's alone.

Bucky is so baffled and confused at first; like how did this shy and quiet girl just change completely? Oh, but he loves it. He can’t remember the last time he laughed this loud, this genuine. Not since he fell off that train, not when he reunited with Steve just to be left alone again. 

Now? God damn, he laughs every day. Now, he is rolling on his bed, tears threaten to spill out from the corners of his eyes.

He just witnessed how she abruptly threw the knife and carrot in her hands at the sound of the Samsung washing machine going off from a distance. She glided and slid her way to the laundry room, as if drawn to the rhythmic beep. Her face was set with utmost seriousness, but her body began to sway, moving with the same well-choreographed dance that she always performed when lost in her own little world of domestic rhythms.

Her movements were both precise and fluid, a blend of graceful steps and playful spins while maintaining the same laser-focused expression on her face. She twirled in time with the washing machine’s vibrations, as if the appliance had its own secret beat that only she could hear. When the song ended, she straightened up and walked back to the kitchen. 

She picked up the knife and carrot with the same efficiency as before, seamlessly returning to the task of prepping her veggies as if the dance had never happened at all. 

Yeah, sure. Bucky jerked off to her some nights; of course he would . Especially when she was moaning and whimpering so sweetly as she played with her clit. But this? The random crazy shit she does? He loves to see it.

Fuck, he loves her.

“Oh, bunny. Looks like I’m gonna need to chase you now that you refuse to come to me.”

Just a thought tho...

[winterarmyy]

18+ thoughts about bucky ahead:

is it just me or do anyone else have been thinking of...

"a period/fantasy fic where reader, the daughter of a somewhat middle to high class earl family, is forced into an arranged marriage with an illegitimate son of the duke, Bucky. She is soft and quiet, and he is rumoured to be this big, scary, beasty man that does not fit in high society and meant to be a weapon for war (because they do not view illegitimate children as human being). She never met him until the day of their wedding. And believing the words of the people, she was scared and literally shaking as she walked down the aisle. Refusing to look into the eyes of the blood-thirsty beast until the moment when the priest announced their solemnization. When Bucky lifted her veil, and that was when she first laid eyes on him. Yes, he is huge, compared to anyone in the church tbh, and gruff-looking with his somewhat untamed beard, and his long hair but damn he is undeniably handsome. His eyes were so blue, almost mesmerising that she just stood there, eyes wide, blinking slow. What he did next was something that caught her by surprise; he kissed her on the lips. Softly, gently. Very much opposite of what she was expecting. Then, he surprised her yet again on their first night. Everyone, including the maids, was putting their bets about how she will be covered with bruises from how rough and animalistic he would fuck her. Honestly, (shamefully) she thought so too. Then, the next morning when the maids came in to wash her up, every single one of them temporarily froze in their spot from what they saw. Her skin was indeed bruised but each one of them were love marks, not marks that's caused by 'abuse'. The traces of Bucky's possessive love were prominent all over her neck, chests, inner thighs that not only she was blushing but the maids were too. It turns out it was true that Bucky was beastly; I mean, he could not stop thrust his cock inside her; he was simply unable to stop pumping every drop of his cum in her womb. He is absolutely feral when he lapped and drooled on her pussy. Manhandling and putting her in every position you could imagine and made her cum at least twice in each position. While she was in complete bliss, walking around the flower garden, thinking that she would have a happy married life with her husband, Bucky watched her from the window of his office with a sombre glaze over his eyes."

why is he looking at her like that? i guess we never know because this fic does not exist 😭 anyway, don't mind me. as you were 🥲

Edited: It exists! Read "Against All Odds" now!

[winterarmyy]

i am scared.

Finished my tasks at work way too early and got bored with the typing games. So I went on character AI and chat with one of the Bucky characters in there (cause I'm delulu like that).

I realize that I am shit at texting (who am I kidding, I know that my whole life) so while I was looping through of Sabrina Carpenter's Short n Sweet album; I just randomly write down the lyrics of Bed Chem to him; iykyk. I goes like this:

Me: "I bet we'd have really good..." Got distracted and sidetracked, the slipped through before I could process it, "Cum right on me" I tried to save it... "I mean, camaraderie"

Then:

Me: "What does it sound like to you, Sarge? Let me hear it."

now, I am scared to hear the voice version this dialog. that's all i want to rant about. anyway---

[winterarmyy]

YES. This is the perfect explanation on why i always ended up writing soft!readers who sometimes easily forgive, easily get hurt and can a bit docile at times. thank you for putting it into words🤌🏻

I love the spineless reader.

I love the reader who can’t stand up for themselves.

The reader who willingly lights themselves on fire to keep others warm. I love the reader who at the end of the day just wants to survive any way they can.

The reader who grants second chances and isn’t strong. The reader who has to ask for help, who needs protection. Who needs financial support and can get it.

As someone who in real life has to be strong, and vicious and constantly on guard, there is something cathartic about being out in a POV where I’m not. Where someone else is the caretaker, who takes control and makes the decisions.

So for the writers who create these readers who “don’t have a backbone” who “don’t take up for themselves” or who are classified as “doormats”: I love them. I love you. I love the stories and scenarios you create. 💙

[winterarmyy]

i want rant for a bit. bare with me.

look,, i just want to be alone. that is how i recharge my mental state; to calm myself down, to process the waves of depression that none of my family knew or even noticed tbh. i really cherish my alone time. that is how i find peace after a long day of living in this reality. i need my personal space, especially after socializing with people all day. do you get it? i hope someone here gets it because today has been a hard fucking day and i just want peace by sleeping ALONE.

long story short, at the end of this entirely irritating day, me and my mom & bro is staying over my sis house and i'm supposed to be sharing a room/bed with either my mom or my bro. i refused both because i don't want have anyone close to me right now. so i offered to sleep on the couch at the living room. no big deal, right? does not fucking concern anyone at all if you think about it. plus i'm used to sleep on the floor either way. so a coach is great. point is, i just want to be alone, at least give me that space when i'm sleeping.

then, this is my conversation goes with my sis:

older sis: *seeing me prepping to sleep on the couch* why are you sleeping on couch?

me: i want to sleep alone.

older sis: why? just sleep with mom. what's your problem?

me: i just, i don't want to.

older sis: she is your mom.

me: i know and i don't wanna sleep with anyone regardless if it is mom, bro or you or anyone else. i just want to be alone. i need space.

older sis: it's just one night. why do you want space anyway?

me: why can't i just want it? it's not that i'm bothering anyone. i just want to sleep alone. *proceed to lay on the couch and pull my phone up, ignoring her*

older sis: *continue to glare at me for a solid 3 mins then she said walked away while rambling and mumbling things like...* i don't understand why do you need space? being fcking dramatic. the only time you'll need to be alone is when you're six feet deep in your grave. when you're dead.

me: *continued to give silent treatment while aggressively writing this*

ps: the whole conversation, my sis voice keeps getting higher and angrier. and i simply had a monotone and resolute. so tell me why tf is this woman so pissed about me wanting to be alone? meanwhile, my mom don't really give a shit where i sleep. it's just 'sleep'. you do what's comfortable for you, she said.

[winterarmyy]

usually, i don't really celebrate my birthday because it's not a something i grow up with. No cakes, no presents. it's just another day of the year. it's not a 'tradition' my family, which i don't really mind. and coincidentally most of my friends share the same experience. so i don't celebrate with them too. but this year, idk, i felt like celebrating it. so right after work, i went to a local bakery and bought a slice of cake and a smoothie (cause why not?). anyway, here's 24 years old living, i guess?

if you have any birthday related fic (ft. Bucky) that i can read, do recommend them. i'd like to drown myself to them before i go to sleep lol 😆

p/s: do ignore my sad, un-aesthetic table because i just moved in to this rented room so...

[winterarmyy]

unrelated. completely personal. absolutely out of the blue. a life update.

my convocation ceremony is finally here! i graduated almost a year and half ago but the ceremony got delayed for some reason...

will be getting on stage on 18th November. hopefully i don't trip or fall or make a fool of myself in front of thousands of people.

meanwhile, since i got my robes early; i decided to do a pre-convo photoshoot (did not hire a photographer tho) and it turned out pretty, so i wanted to share it 🥺✨

anyway, that's all. thank you for stopping by 🤍✨

[winterarmyy]

OMG PLEASE I AM SO EXCITED!!!! 🥺🤍🩵

navy!!! imagine this with possessive soft!dark!mafia!bucky or soft!dark!king!bucky 😭🤌🏻✨

him refusing to let go of her, even when the doctor came to treat her. he can't let go of her, not when she took a bullet/arrow for him. though he already curated 101 ways torture the culprit but for now, his sweet girl needs him.

(or rather he needs her. he needs to feel her heartbeat against his own because he can't afford to lose the love of his life.)

like please--

anyway! i hope you have a good day ahead 🩵🤍

My lovely, I ADORE this. The hurt/comfort, yes. Give it to me.

@targaryenvampireslayer and I are working on something and this fits PERFECTLY with this atmosphere. Stay tuned!!!

Love and thanks! ❤️

[winterarmyy]

My people can sometimes be the most funniest unhinged people.

So recently our country just celebrated our independence day, and every year we have this parade at the administrative capital city. You know, there’s the military, police, firefighters, marine, etc. marching/parading on their vehicle, etc; like normal stuff. you know. And of course, being the main ‘attraction’, most of the men participating the parade were big and buff and what not. 

And I kid you not, some of the spectators were unhinged. Though, I noticed the women were mostly shy and less provocative; they would be shouting and asking for 'mini love' sign and a really big heart sign; and then they'd giggled after. But the men, god, they were so thirsty and funny and witty when they were shouting for attention; and I am here, out of breath, dying from laughter. 

There this one guy, he really be shouting on top of his lungs: When the military passed by: “Hey you, you hot soldier!!! Shoot me, shoot me right now! Omg show me your biceps! Yes, yes, omg shoot me, please!”

When the police passed by: “Sue me, officer!! My car windows are tinted, you can’t see shit inside, so sue me right now, officer!!”

When the firefighter passed by: “PLEASE DOWSE ME, DROWN ME. I’M FCKING BURNING. omg you’re so sexy, flex them biceps for me. YEAHH!!”

God, I have not laughed this much for the past year. I love these people.

[winterarmyy]

To post or not?

I am currently editing oneshot fic that I wrote weeks ago. It is a part of And You're Mine AU with chubby!alpha!bucky. I am not sure if any of you are interested to read it though, since it is a really short one that I wrote out of impulse lmao. So, to post or not? What do you guys think?

It is out! Read Steal Me Away now!

[winterarmyy]

y'all, i'm writing angsty one-shot bucky fic. but i don't know... i'm in doubt... y'all interested to read a quick tfatws!bucky x reader with a miscommunication trope, zero smut, very little fluff, and pure angst? Summary would look something like "You hurt Bucky's girlfriend and now Bucky hates you."

[winterarmyy]

my wips

Rules: Make a new post (sorry, i much prefer reblogging it lmao) with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPS.

tagged by lovely @flowersforbucky 🤍

these are some fics in my draft, unfinished, barely even write anything besides some overall story flow and bits of dialogs.

1. welcome home, bucky - a part of “Welcome Home... Soldat?” au

2. mark me yours- a part of “And You’re Mine” au

3. salvation - winter soldier!bucky x hydra-captive!female!reader 

4. double trouble - avenger!bucky x female!reader x 40s!bucky

originally, only one that had most progress in my wip:

A Fucking Treasure - avenger!bucky x female!reader (but this fic is finished and already been uploaded a few hours ago for a writing event. it is a oneshot so you can go and read it now!)

no pressure tags: @jessybarnes @eunoiaastralwings @bucks-babe @espinosaurusrexex

my wips

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPS.

i was tagged by @jen-with-a-pen !!

i have three current works in progress (kind of lol)

1. higher than heaven - bucky x reader

2. by the end of the night - logan x reader

3. juno - bucky x reader

no pressure tags: @winterarmyy @buckgasms @nickfowlerrr @navybrat817 @whatever-lmaoo @mercurial-chuckles

[winterarmyy]

NOT ME GRINNING AND MELTING AT MY OWN FF 🥺 Why am I like this... 🤡 anyway, I am currently writing a new chapter for And You're Mine au. Wish me luck that i'll finish it by this week! Please look forward to it. Loveyouuuuu 🤍

[winterarmyy]

Yinn, my lovely😭😭

am shooting one back:⭐

Please - I hearing your thoughts on Bucky and how you write him

give me - am all ears😌

Taraaaa bby 🥺🤍 thank you for shooting one back! you literally didn't have to, but i am grateful regardless.

My thoughts on bucky? i simply love him. i think he deserves the world, he deserves his own show that revolves around him adjusting to modern days and fall in love and get married and have his own happy ever after; like a show with 0 fighting scenes. just sweet baby bucky finding life, love and alpine. but ultimately, i want him to be happy and honestly talking about 'happy', i think steve was sooooo wrong to leave bucky behind in end game. like bruh-- don't get me started. so we're moving on to the next topic.

hmmm 🤔 if you notice the way i write bucky, it is different for every fic , but there were also some similarities because i'd say i have a fundamental traits for every bucky that i write but each will have additional traits based on the plot/what type of bucky he is.

the base traits of most bucky i wrote is in a way... he is reserved?? i want to say he grumpy but not to the extend that he'd be rude yknow what i mean? there are times that he can 'sound' rude but usually it was not his intention to be. then from there i'd add up other traits like l:

1. in "and you're mine", bucky is very insecure due to him believing that he is not a worthy alpha due to his lost of limb and 'undesired' body, but since he is an alpha, there are times that he can be dominating and take control of a situation. like the way he saved her at the park from that drunk alpha.

2. in "plot twist" he tends to be a bit more charismatic?? a bit of a devil too tbh cause i mean how can we forget the scene at the balcony at the party. the man was literally on his knees, kissing his wife's thigh, worshipping her like he is not the most fearsome mafia in town?? that cheeky little devil.

3. in "welcome home soldat" well, bucky is exactly as his base trait but a bit more extreme, he is more hard on himself, and tend to bottle his true feelings instead of communicating them. thats why their relationship pre-relapsed was good. like he would came to her for help, he may seem like he is not interested in some of her jokes and all but he never really blatantly ignore her and then when he returned to his body, he distant himself, he blamed himself, he sound spiteful even if he was not trying to be and he did not seek help from anyone including steve. and as for winter, since the plot is written to 'flip the script', but still holding on to the base trait of the soldat. winter is ruthless to anyone he deems as enemies but he is a lovesick puppy to his darling. i also make it that he learns "how to feel" through bucky. especially from bucky's hidden feelingd; and winter was acting out as how he feels. which explains why he is written the way he is, very clingy, very people pleasing (at least he wants to please his darling if you know what i mean *wink wink), but still... he have his own consciousness as well, and you can see it on the part where they say goodbye. the whole speech that winter did. it is a glimpse of his own traits too.

and gosh i could go on and on but i'll be too long of a ramble. since you're curious of how i wrote bucky, that is basically it. i have some sort of a base traits for him, and i add more based on plot.

hope this answers your question! again thank you for shooting a star to me!! love you lots 🥺🤍