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ilkkijangege · 2 years ago

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Is this a start of another chapter in my life/love life?

Basically, I need to stop crushing on work guys! I recently started liking this guy, who is the brother of one of my old colleagues turned friend. It just happened 😂

I heard he is not available-ish, he is in a situationship. He seems like a really decent guy. I'll try to be friend him gradually and see how it goes.

We've been having small moments here and there with the help of my two friends who are much closer to him. When I was first properly introduced to him, I was shook at how <i>malutong</i> he curses in Tagalog because I have NEVER heard his sister curse in our nearly 4 years of friendship. So I go to one of my friends that I thought he was a church boi, to which my friend went and told him. As his response, "ate ko lang un." 😂

But last week, I was over at his desk with one of my friend and she got called into a meeting, so awkward Bianca ran away from him and said "bye". 😂 Then today, we talked about the Filipino new joiners to our project. He looked them up on our workplace chat and was like "fuckboiis". So I go "it takes one to know one huh?" He didn't reply, was he offended or did I speak too low? 😂 Then last week, my seastar had an idea for me to ask him about his contract (since a lot of people's contracts hasn't been renewed). So I asked him if he was on a permanent contract. He said no, it was gonna expire on the 14th of May and they need to give him 3 weeks notice so he thinks he is safe.

But idk if I should continue this if he is not available. I would like to get to know him as a friend and go with the flow. I'm actually meeting up with his sister and Jacqui on the 18th of May so we'll see 🙈

bye for now 😂

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28 April 2023

Mustered up the courage to talk to him today, yieeeeee

So basically, this week, I have been wanting to talk to him but I was so busy that I had meetings after meetings etc.

Basically, today is payday and I also wanted to get boba as a treat.

We have a group chat on Whatsapp and I asked the filo gang if they wanted one. No one replied so after lunch I went around his product group to ask them in person. Initially, he wanted coffee but the place we ordered didn't have one, so he was like 'I'll take chocolate with less sugar'. (ngl was kinda judging his choice but interesting) then he said 'what's your revolut *ate* (older sister in Filipino)?' I replied 'ate???' then he goes 'oh wait I think I may be older than you.' so I asked him 'how old are you? (as if I didn't already know ahahahah), '27 but turning 28 in like 3 weeks' (i already knew this too HAHAHAH) I replied 'ohhhh I'm August so you really are older' YIEEEEE hahhaah

So I go order the boba and when it arrived, the other filo girl on his team gave it to him and he turned to me to say 'thank you' in a really cute way, kilig naman lola nyo. then he was talking to this QA on my team (looks like about f1) and I was waiting for him to go away so I can go talk to him again. So I went up to his desk, I firstly asked him about the update on his contract. He said he got renewed for only 3 months and I asked him if he knows what's gonna happen after 3 months, they said it could be extended for another 3 months but he is really worried about job security cos they can let you go any time, to which I said it's really shitty. He thinks they are doing it to see how many people are leaving before we move to the other building. But I feel so bad for him, hopefully he gets another renewal. (or I will shoot my shot in 3 months ahahah)

Then we started talking about how expensive boba has gotten (we paid 6euro each) and he was so shocked hahaah (jacqui did warn me that he is very thrifty lmao). He thinks Kakilang and Charap are overrated. I told him I think we are quite biased with Charap because one of my sister's boyfriend works there. He was surprised because he thought only family of the owners worked there, I told him he was a distant relative, he said he went there when they were still new, he ordered coffee (who orders coffee at a bubble tea place?!?!? but he seems to like coffee a lot cos I remember his sister's IG stories of him making coffee) and he was skeptical as to why he was not hearing any coffee machines, THEY USED KOPIKO INSTANT COFFEE ahahahah. He said he paid 3 something for it and I told him oh that's robbery. He said the staff looked unhappy and that if it was him, he wouldn't work for the family business. Then he asked me if I have tried their cheesedog, I said 'oh their waffle dog?' haahah then he said White Rabbit's one is really good and I agreed but it is very overpriced, he said because they've gotten really popular. I asked him if he's tried the Korean restaurant before it was White Rabbit, Brothers Dosirak and he said no. He said he only knows 2 Korean restaurant, Arisu and White Rabbit, but he did see a new one recently, he said near Smithfield, so I asked if it was the Korean Table. I said it was good but very expensive, 20euro for a Bibimbap like. Then I told him there is another new one, Space Jaru in the Liberties to which I told him I was having dinner with his sister and Jacqui. Then he goes 'oh she told me about that! we hardly talk nowadays but when we do we talk for like 2 hours.' (sya na nag bibigay ng extra details na I don't need 😂) Then I told him he should join us but he declined 'it's okay, you guys enjoy'. He asked me if it was fusion and all, I said it kinda is but they have great Korean Fried Chicken. Then asked me if I have tried Bites with Kwanghi to which I said, they aren't that good cos they use frozen stuff as per my friend who was being mentored by Kwanghi. He said there were a lot of Filipinos there etc

He asked me how Jacqui was etc then I asked him if his sister has dropped any hints on what she wants for her birthday. He was like 'oh shit it's her birthday?' then I said 'how could you forget your sister's birthday??' HAHAHAHAH then he had to think about it, he said we should just get something for her dog, Louis. But he was also questioning us 'why would you get my sister a gift??' to which I said 'you're such a savage brother' hahaha then he was like 'just tell Jacqui I said not to get her a gift, *his first name* Approved*. I said 'AA approved!* hahaah

Then he asked me if I was QA or a TL. I told him I was a QA for D&S, he thought I was a TL bruh. I said 'i wish' then he was like 'oh really?' then I go 'ehhh I dont like managing people'. Then at one point, he said thank you 'ate' again for the boba and to give him my Revolut. I told him the girl on his team already paid for his. Then I told him 'I thought we already established that you were older than me??' then he was like, I call everyone ate - Vanessa and Mary Jo. Okay whatever you say, bsta ayokong ma-ate zone hahaha

then I think we just said goodbye cos I had so much things to do. I should have asked him how the boba was haahah

But here we go with overthinking again, how or why did his sister mention that we were meeting up? Like how did that conversation come up to be and whether I was mentioned? ahahh

Overall, I was proud of myself today. One of my old friends, GG told me he is really funny and he is honestly. I look forward to many more moments with him. I would definitely like to be his friend. Gosh I was shaking when I was talking to him but I got more comfortable, like compared to when I used to talk to Chad haahah i realized na wala pala talagang kwenta kausap si Chad 😂

I will probably ask him to join us for dinner again closer to the date ahaha but I hope we can get more closer, you never know what could happen ahhahaah

Hay Lord, please take my feelings away kung wala mapupuntahan ahaha

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2 May 2023

Yieee so had another courage to talk to him today! <3

I was over at GG's desk and I had been contemplating if I should talk to him and all. Then I finally did. I asked him how he was and he said he was working on a case that he didn't know what to do cos he hasn't seen it before and so he was self learning about it. I asked him if he was working on Pages or Interfaces (his old product that he still helps out with when they have backlog) at the moment, he said Pages but he feels like a Prostitute and he needs Vaseline for his ass. I told him there's a pharmacy down there if he wants to buy and he said 'it's too late for that, there's already a fist up there'. I am shook at how he is, I never expected him to be this explicit and him sharing these things when we hardly know each other.

Then he asked me when I was having dinner with his sister and Jacqui, I said the '18th' and he was like 'but ate's birthday would have passed, that's closer to my birthday, I'm the 22nd' (as if I didn't already know fam HAHAHAHAHAH) I told him we scheduled it sooo early cos it's busy season at Jacqui's department. Then he was like 'I'm away for my birthday' so I asked him where he was going, he said Italy and I asked 'oh with your fam?' he replied: 'with my cousin'.

Then I asked him if he was on the late shift, he said yes, he asked me if I was, I said we don't do late shifts but I started early today (7am) to avoid the traffic. Then he said he prefers earlies because he gets to do a lot of things but the traffic does get him, it would take him nearly 2 hours to get home but when he gets home, he eats, watch a movie and sleep. I told him I don't even have time to do anything ahah. He also said how it will be difficult for him to get to work when we move to Sandyford so I told him 'you said you have car, why don't you start driving it?' then he was like 'yeah I'll start driving it illegally, I don't even have NCT or Road Tax on it and I still haven't fully paid it yet.' ahahahah I told him I should also start driving.

Then I think our conversation just died down from here so I told him 'concentrate ka na dyan sa case mo bye!', he replied 'bye ate!' so annoying stop calling me ate please ahaha but I asked Mary if he does call her ate and she said yes, so it is probably the bunso syndrome in him hahaahah.

Ohhh and I also had a dream about him, he set me as his wallpaper on his work PC and it was funny because it was a cutout of my head, there were 2 and they kept floating around his screen ahahah

But honestly, I am very proud of myself again. I never thought I'd have such great conversations with him. I'm really shocked that he can be so explicit, boy does your sister know you say these things? You really are a bad church boi HAHAHAHH

Once again Lord, I am begging you please take him away from me kung wala akong pag asa sakanya. huhu

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3 May 2023

Ayoko naaaa, kala ko today we were not gonna talk cos I was sooo swamped with this deep dive in work.

But to my surprise, xa naman pumunta sakin today. Firstly, he was looking for his product QAs, as in he said 'Bianca asan mga QAs namin?" So I explained...but one called in sick, one had a dentist appointment, one is on PTO and the other was hiding in a room somewhere. So I asked him if I could help but he decline because it was product specific. Then he ranted about how their QAs are always not there when they need them ahaha so sabi ko sakanya, if it's not product specific, "you can always ask me." HAHAAH KONTING LANDI DIN PAMINSAN HAHAH (but it's the first time I heard him say my name haha without ate too ahahah)

Then 1 hour later, he comes over my desk, sits besides me, as in he was so comfortable, his hands above his head and all, and ask me 'ate do you still ask your analyst to clone? cos I have a case dalawa ung issue.' Sabi ko we had a task open to get rid of it cos the filers always push back that they can't see the cloned case so I showed him a workaround in case. Then he saw Vanessa messaged me and he was like 'sabihin mo sakanya tumahimik sya' so I replied "di nya maiintindihan", his response: "ay oo nga pala" then laughs ahahah

Then as usual, pumunta nanaman ako sa area nya for GG then I went over at his desk, I asked him how his pwet was and he was like 'I told you it is past the vaseline stage, it's gone' ahahah 'non existent na?' he said 'no, just it's not there' ahaha then he asked me if I found a gift for his sister yet, I said Jacqui got a mug but might something else for Louis. Then he showed me a video of Louis and told me he is cute but makulit xa and said something I couldn't hear about what he wants to do to Louis (something bad anyway ahahaha). Then we started talking about shifts, if he is in all week and off weekends, he said he is off Saturday and in Sunday but he hates it cos 6 days straight and just 1 day off and how I told him MM's schedule is fucked up then he said last week, Interfaces TL asked him if he wanted to do overtime, he said no. I said even if they offer me 2x I wouldn't do it. Then he was like, "if they offer me my whole annual salary then I would do it, my ass will be perk up" (or something along this). Then he saw I kept looking somewhere, so he asks me who I was waiting for, I said Vanessa lol. My bus was soon so I said goodbye to him and said 'see you tomorrow'.

Haaaysss, I think tomorrow mag papa miss ako and not go over LMAO. Ayoko na Lord, masasaktan nanaman ako neto eh ahahah

.....

4 May

So he was off today, not sure if called in sick or what butttt....

I have an answer to the question I have been praying for. Wala akong pag asa sa kanya at never will have.

Basically, Mary Jo told me she talked to him last night on the late shift and asked him if he would be willing to date while he is on this situationship. He asked, 'bakit, sino?' then Mary said, 'what if it's from work?' Then he responded that he doesn't want someone from work cos it is awkward. (side note: mag reresign na ako bukas CHARING).

Okay naman sakin mag move on kasi sanay na ako haahah but I told Jacqui about this and she said feelings can change and since he only got renewed for 3 months, if ever he does get laid off then I can shoot my shot then, IF EVER di pa ako maka move on. Butttt di na ako aasa.

I think I will defo just consider him as a friend from now and get to know someone new. I need to keep feelings detached haha.

But I do wonder if napa-isip xa kung ako ba ung tinatanong ni Mary? Like do I avoid him now or what? How do I keep a normal conversation going? Kasi if I suddenly avoid him, then baka mahalata nya. But honestly, not once have I shown na I was nervous around him tbh so di ko alam if may na sense xa. But Lord, this is the answer I prayed for so thank you.

Another chapter closed sa blog na toh. BYEEEEE FOR A LONG TIME AGAIN

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8 May

I knowww I said I wouldn't update again but gosh I feel like he is avoiding meeee.

Like earlier, he was looking for their QAs and they were busy, on holidays or sick leave. Like I asked him "do you need help?" But he just ignored me 😂

Then, I went over to GG's desk cos we were gonna have lunch together, we bumped into each other and he really didn't say hi. But after lunch, (I think he ate on his own today) we bumped into him again at the plate carousel, idk if he just said "hi" to GG or he also said hi to me. Maybe he's just really off today, it's a Monday afterall 😂 I haven't talked to him in a while though. I'll see if I ain't busy tomorrow and I'll chat him up. 😂

On a side note, his sister's bday is today, I greeted her and she said she cannot wait to see me 😂😂😂😂 idk if I will still execute my plan with Jacqui. We'll see 😂

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9 May

So I really feel like he is avoiding me and I am overthinking it. Like today he came to our area again but a simple hello would have been nice but he didn't say anything at all. Like does he know tlga?? I am curious.

But I did ask my friends and Mary said he messaged him but he didn't respond so maybe he is going through some things. Break na sila? ahahah is it my turn to sweep him off his feet? Charing

But my gosh I'm already stressed out as it is so I do not need this anymore. Hahaha

We'll see tomorrow if I am less busy, I think I may have more time but we shall seeeee

Update 9 May, 23:59

I have been checking his IG, he unfollowed someone and also lost a follower. On top of it, he also archived his posts. He is defo going through something haha baka nag "break" na sila nung ka MU nya

.......

11 May

So he was back to work today and he is not ignoring me anymore, he probably was going through something

So I saw him when he got in, he was going to a meeting room and I smiled at him and he asked me "you good?" While smiling 😂 He seems better.

Then after lunch, I saw him alone at his desk, went up to him and I asked him if he's had lunch, he said not yet, 1.30 cos he is on the lates, he swapped shifts and fucked himself over cos he is on the earlies tomorrow but he likes the earlies.

Then I thought he had chika because he was like "nakita mo toh?" but we were interrupted cos someone needed help (the husband of my ex bff). I came back like 2 hours, to ask about it again, I said "uy ano chika mo?" He was like "what chika?" "You asked me if may nakita ako" then he remembered and showed me this QA development thing. He said he wants to be a QA, so I said "oh you want to be a QA?" he replied: 8-5, weekends off and I said "BH off too, just be prepared for deep dives" and he just laughed 😂 but idk if he still knows something cos our convo died and I told him "sige see you soon", he said "see you later" 😂

....

12 May

So we didn't really interact much today. But he got on the same bus as me, the seat beside me was EMPTY but he chose to sit in the one in front of me (which was not empty btw) and I'm like Y U NO SIT BESIDE ME 🥹😂 but the guy beside him left eventually and he sat directly behind me and he smelled good 😂

Then our next interaction was when he got of of the toilets, I was walking past and we said hello to each other.

BUT YOOOOOO a few hours later, the QAs and I decided to play hide and seek because our TL left early and we were all alone. So I decided to hide in GG's corner. Along the way, I had to go through Airplane's row and on that row, there is an unstable section of the floor AND IT FUCKING COLLAPSED AS I WALKED BY 😂 it was fucking embarassing, he even got up to see what the commotion was but didn't ask if I was okay char sana kunwari nadapa ako para tinulungan nya ako 😂

Anyways yeaahh un na 😂 I think he is already off on Monday for his birthday trip. I think he's gone for nearly 2 weeks? So no interactions till he get back. But I'm seeing his sister next Thursday so I'll update if my plan goes through. 😂

.......

15 May

So he was in today afterall but we did not speak to each other because I was busy and I was still embarrassed from what happened on Friday 😂

BUT I HAVE GOOD NEWWWWSSSS WALA NA SILA NUNG KA SITUATIONSHIP NYA 😂😂😂 MY INTUITION WAS RIGHT! GALING KO TALAGA! Though he told Mary that he wants to focus on himself, bro just you wait, I will get the green light from your sister 😛

Buttt, one of my sister has an admirer in work and she gave us idea on what the date should be. She gave us the idea for an Escape Room, she said I should find a horror one so I can clutch onto BCB 😂 I found this one where the teams will be divided into two, prisoners and the solvers, so naturally, I wanna be a prisoner with BCB 😂 yieee jk

So Mary asked him if he is down for it and he said yes buttt we need to find a day where all of us are available and it's super hard 😭😭😭

He's going to Italy tomorrow yeah HE CANNOT FUCKING FIND HIS PASSPORT 😂😂😂😂 My gosh bunso syndrome tlga!!! 😂😂 I hope he finds it 😂

But Mary said masasaktan lang daw ako kasi hindi sya nag rereply. Sabi ko: araw araw ko naman xang makikita 😂 and that I am used to getting hurt, Martyr Nyebera 😂 Rupok Mae Quinto daw ako 😂😂😂😂 But whatever will be, will be. At the end of the day, if he's willing to put in the effort, we can make it work. 😉

But he's gone for a week now so I'll miss him 🥹 but I'll see how things are with his sister on Thursday 😂

......

18 May

So I had dinner with his sister today and Jacqui...

We casually talked about BCB during dinner but I did not say anything. There was a point where I told her how BCB keeps calling me ate and she said he asked her one time 'wait, how old is Bianca?' Then sis told him 'she's like 2 years younger than me.' then he said 'Oh shit I keep calling her ate!' ahahaha then I told sis I am only 1 year younger than her, 1995 so we're the same age ahaha

She started asking me how her brother was, if he's good and if he actually does his job etc I told him he always looks busy when I see him haahaha

Jacqui was trying really hard to bring up the convo about BCB like asking like 'sila na lang kaya' etc etc but it was not going anywhere. She asked me "type mo ba?" Sabi ko, "pwede, he's funny" 😂

So we went for dessert after dinner and as we were leaving, like 30 mins before. I told them 'I want to say something but I'm shy'... then they were like 'ano???' then they had all eyes on me and I finally said 'I have a new crush....' they were like (well Jacqui acting) 'who??? is it from work??' 'yes' and I just kept looking at the sis all this time and I was shaking like maaaaddd 'it's BCB', she was shocked 'why didn't you tell me earlier??' they were teasing me "ooh she has an office crush!" Then she asked me how our chemistry is, if we talk and I told her we do, and how long has this been going on, I said just a few weeks. She said he is really weird. She was trying to tell me things about him, like how his dream is to open a cafe and he is saving up for it and I was shook because this is also a dream of mine, if ever I get sick of Law hahah

She said his brother is reaalllly nice, magalang, humble and she would really recommend him to anyone. He's a very family man. She said he's very private of his love life to the point where she didn't even know about how he was in a situationship until they ended things. She said they ended things because they were at different stages in their lives. (EG the girl already owns a house). She said he thinks he is not gwapo but she thinks that he is the most gwapo out of his friends and she's just not saying that because he is her brother. She said he's not really into social media, which is great in a way that he is really private. He's a foodie, one of his friends is a chef and they go to fancy restaurants together. I SWEAR WE CAN BE FOODIES TOGETHER HUHU

She also said that he's a really good conversationalist to the point where people (girls) have construed them to be something more. (I'm an ovethinker pa naman 😂)

She said he is good at making first moves and I shouldn't make the first move because I've already done it. She said he's expressed feelings about being pressured (being in an Asian household) and feeling not good enough. She said we could be in the same boat in where we want to pursue something higher than what we currently have. She also said he does not like playing games, which is very fair because we are too old for that and I am the same. She said the previous girl he dated, she was playing hard to get and he did not like that. Don't worry, if I like you, I like you and I will not make excuses. It's seems we are very alike, she said his friends have been the same since high school and she said that's just like me with my seastars.

She asked me if I liked going out because he does and that's something he has besides work. (this is the Gemini in him 😂). I'm such a homebody but I can compromise 😂

I asked her if I have the green light from her cos this might change the trajectory of our friendship (if things don't work out with me and him). She said that she will not meddle with his relationship but I should pursue this but go with the flow and let things happen naturally. Then Jacqui was like I should call his sis "ate" now and she was so against it 😂

Oh and earlier, during the dinner, before all of this, she said he's had 2 exes, one half black, half Northern Irish and the other one was Pinoy. Then she said how her mom would call her and ask her if she knows anyone she can set up with her brother hahaah

Hay Lord, I leave everything up to you. I will continue to talk to him and see where this takes us and hopefully something happens, but if not, c'est la vie.

.....

20 May

I had a dream about him. I was over at their house and he gave me a tour 😂 It seems that they have a converted attic and it's his room but the funny thing is that he has to use the attic ladder to get to his room and the entrance is very small 😂

.......

24 May

Delikado na toh.. I keep dreaming of him again.

So I had this dream, I was with my seastar in work and for some reason we had these big Brown Thomas bags with us. We had just finished lunch in the canteen so we went up to our floor. We went to the MK and BCB was there, I was behind him and he was besides my seastar getting snacks. I said "hi" but he ignored me and for some reason, I ran away to my desk as in not even fast walk. 😂😂 WTH

But I'm off for the next 2 weeks now because of work related stress. Miss ko na xa 🥹🥹🥹

.....

27 May

Soooo at 8.56pm last night, I followed him on IG 🤭🤭🤭 then he requested to follow me at 11:57pm 😂 (ate es encouraged me to follow him and I did 😂)

And today I checked, he watched my stories 😂😂

oh and I've decided that I'll ask him out end of June/early July. bahala na si batman 😭

....

28 May

HOY LAHAT TLGA NG STORIES KO VINI-VIEW NYA 😭 KALA KO BA HINDI KA MAHILIG MAG SOCMED? 😂

Pero bawal mag overthink 😂

.....

30 May

So I created a reel today and posted it on my story. He viewed story but did not like the reel. YO WHY like mo na pls. 😂

....

2 June

yo crush, y u keep watching my stories but no likey my posts? 🥹🥹🥹 I know you like other people's posts, do u no like me? 🥹

.....

4 June

OMG SO FUNNY. my big seastar has been asking her friends to set her up with guys yeah... we have this mutual (ish) friend, who was also close to BCB's sister in college, she sent big seastar a photo of a guy she found for her. IT WAS BCB 😂😂😂😂 she told her na set up na lang ako with him instead 😂

But apparently... BCB's mom wants an accountant for him. HELLO FUTURE SOLICITOR OVER HERE 😂 ako na lang plsss 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹😂😂

.....

6 June

So it was my first day back to work... I made cookies for my team and close colleagues, including GG. My plan was to offer him what was left over from what I brought but it turned out GG wasn't in today so I had the idea that I should just give the cookies to him. But let's backtrack a bit.

Basically, remember our escape room plan? So I already booked the escape room over the weekend because the timeslot was running out. I planned on talking to Mary and bf and the guy who's crushing on my seastar to see if they are free this Saturday. Then I will ask BCB of his plans. But in the end, Mary was sick so I cancelled our escape room.

Then when I found out that GG wasn't in today, I had really been debating whether I should message him or not and when to do it. At around 4.20pm, I mustered the courage and messaged him "yoo do you like cookies? I brought some for GG but he's off today pala and I don't want them to go to waste. Do you want it? 😂" He replied a few mins later "nope I'm okay 🙂 thank you though!" Bit disappointed that he said no. I know it's nothing personal but you know ovethinker nanaman kasi 😂 it just made me think, would he reject me when I ask him out? (I actually decided that I'll ask him out end of the month or early July but now idk if that's a good idea.)

I actually didn't see him properly today even though I walked past his area a couple of times so we didn't talk in person. I'll see tomorrow and the following days. I think I need to discern this more.

....

7 Jun

So I saw him today when I went over to GG's. We didn't talk cos I was shy. He probably looked at me briefly because he was facing towards me when I walked over with Vanessa. Mejo nangitim xa 😂 pero cute pa din 😂

But it's funny, Vanessa and I were talking to each other about BCB before lunch. She said he thought he was the same age as her because of how he is as a person (the way he talks and have banters etc 😂) because compared to him, I am very mature. I told him it's probably the youngest child syndrome etc She also said that he seems to easily get moody. Which I've kinda noticed and it's the Gemini in him 😂

Let's see tomorrow if I'll have the courage to talk to him 🤣 nearly 1 month na kami di nag uusap like what 🤣

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