#yet that person felt that that was something i needed to hear

[jinhyun]

—lost in translation.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: a little angst, fluff, best friend’s little brother au, friends to lovers, pininggggg, miscommunication (gone right?)

word count: 5.2k

summary: hyunjin needed answers and he needed them now. even if it meant showing up at your place late at night with a few drinks in his system, ready for things to go either terribly wrong or incredibly right.

warnings: miscommunication, mentions of alcohol and drinking

author’s note: hellooo, and thank you so much for being so patient<3 this is part 23 of my social media au “heart out”. part 24 will be written as well, so don’t worry if there were a few things left unsaid in this one lol. as always, i hope you guys enjoy! if you do, please don’t forget to leave an ask or a comment telling me your thoughts on it<3

Hyunjin was usually a very chill and spontaneous person. He did things when he felt like it, without really giving it much thought. If he wanted to do something and it felt right, then why would he hold back? He could always deal with the consequences of his own actions later.

When it came to you, however, he was the complete opposite.

Ever since he met you, he had been tiptoeing his way around your heart.

He wanted to do things right when it came to you, and, as a result, his interactions with you throughout the years tended to end up with him overthinking instead of doing.

Starting with him hiding his feelings and keeping his interactions with you to the minimum when he was still a high schooler, to him still hiding his feelings while trying to get closer to you when he entered university, to then still say nothing about them when you started dating Mingyu, up until now, that he finally got another shot at getting close to you, yet he still refused to confess his feelings until you were ready to hear it.

And that was the thing, if it were up to him and acting accordingly to how he felt in the moment, he would’ve confessed a long time ago — probably back in his first year of university, particularly when he found out you and Mingyu were dating and he felt like calling you up and letting it all out. But he wouldn’t, because although it would be a huge weight to get off his shoulders, he wouldn’t want you to deal with the burden of knowing he loved you when you didn’t love him back; not like that, at least.

He wouldn’t confess, because he didn’t want you to feel bad for not being there just yet, if ever.

He didn’t want to ruin what the two of you had because of a whim, and so he decided to deal with his feelings on his own. Until he knew for sure that you were ready to hear a confession from him, he wouldn’t say the words out loud to you.

Of course, that was up until this evening.

After coming to the conclusion that Dahye had followed her word and told you about his feelings for you, and having you distance yourself from him ever since, which could only mean you didn’t feel the same and were preparing to turn him down; and, furthermore, after hearing from Yeji that you wouldn’t mind going out with her twenty three year old coworker once you were ready to date again, there was no room in his head for him to think of the consequences of confessing to you anymore.

If you were turning him down anyway, if you were going out with someone else anyway… if he was losing you anyway, then what did he have to lose by finally letting you know how deeply he felt for you?

Maybe it was the alcohol he’d been consuming with his friends that night, or maybe it was just him simply not giving a fuck anymore — maybe both.

Whatever it was, it was giving him the final push he needed, for he was now standing outside your building, ignoring the freezing breeze of the night —as the black cotton sportswear he was wearing did little to nothing to keep him warm—, while he desperately texted you in hopes of you being awake and letting him come up, so you would finally get to talk and turn him down if that’s what you wanted to do in the end.

If you were turning him down at one point in the next two days, he would rather have you do it now.

He felt like he was going insane; like no matter what the outcome was, whether you turned him down or not, he would collapse if he didn’t get an answer within the next few minutes.

When you wouldn’t answer his texts and there were no signs of you being online, he decided to call you instead. He wasn’t giving up that easily that night, if at all.

It only took one missed call and ten more seconds waiting on the line for you to pick up.

“Hyunie?” Your sleepy yet worried voice was enough to quiet his running thoughts down. “Something happened? Are you alright?”

He stayed silent for a moment, staring up at your window.

“Hyunie?” You repeated. He heard you shift in your bed, and then he saw the light in your room turn on. “Are you there?”

“Can I come up?” He asked quietly.

Silence filled the line for a moment. “What?”

“I texted you… I think you didn’t see it” he explained. “I’m outside your building. Can I please come up? I know it’s late, but I need to talk to you now”.

“Y-Yeah… of course” you failed to hide how taken aback you were. “Help yourself in”.

“Okay…”

Hanging up, his eyes went to the front door to your building, and he suddenly felt the weight of what was about to come on his shoulders. But he was already here, and even if he turned around and went home instead, he knew he would not be able to sleep for the second night in a row as long as he didn’t clear things up with you.

He was already here and you were waiting for him upstairs, so he might as well rushed up to you.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Entering the passcode he knew by heart, he made his way into your place; taking off his shoes and putting on the slippers you kept by the door for your guests, which he knew were pretty much his by now.

As expected, all the lights were out except from the one in your bedroom, where he caught you coming out from.

He would never get tired of seeing you barefaced; and the slightly messy hair you were running your fingers through in a quick attempt to fix, along with the pastel pink silk pyjamas you were wearing, could only make him adore you even more. However, you looked tired, and he couldn’t help but feel bad for waking you up.

“Hey” he mumbled, suddenly feeling the madness inside his head calm down at the mere sight of you.

“Hey…” you softly greeted him back, leaning against your doorframe and resting your head on it. “Did something happen?”

He denied with his head, coming closer to you. “Just couldn’t wait anymore to talk to you, I’m sorry”.

“It’s okay,” you reassured him, slightly frowning when you got a closer look at him. “Have you been drinking?”

A small, surprised pout formed on his lips. What gave it away? His eyes? Was he reeking of alcohol? Or did you know him so well that a simple look at him was enough for you to tell when something was off?

“Just had a few drinks with the boys, it’s nothing” he brushed it off.

“You didn’t drive here, did you?”

“No, of course not” he was the one to frown this time. “I’m fine, though”.

You said nothing, but he caught the hesitation in your eyes.

“I’m fine, Y/N” he reassured you one last time. “I didn’t drink that much anyway”.

Just enough for his inhibitions to shut down; not enough not to realise what he was doing.

“Okay…” you decided to believe him.

With a light tilt of your head, you invited him into your room, where the lightning was better — although the dim light coming from the white lamp on your nightstand could only make him feel sleepier.

You sat down on the edge of your unmade bed, as you’d been sleeping up until he called you, and motioned for him to do the same. Once he did, silence was fast to take over.

“Um… I’m not—I wasn’t really prepared to talk about this now,” you messily tried to come up with the right way to approach the issue. “So I don’t know where to begin, if I’m honest…”

He understood what you were feeling perfectly. In all honesty, although he had come all the way over here to get the answer he so badly needed, he, too, didn’t know where to begin.

There was so much to say, so much to ask, so many ways to word his questions, that his mind went blank.

So, he said the first thing he could think of right then.

“Dahye told you, didn’t she?”

You looked distressed at the mention of her, and that was enough for him to get the answer he was dreading. “Sorry?”

“She talked to you?” He rephrased it.

“Mhm…” you nodded, looking down to your lap. “She did”.

“And is that why you’ve been so distant?” Hyunjin asked carefully.

You nodded again, silently. “I’m sorry, I just needed some time to think” your eyes went back up to lock with his. “How’d you know she talked to me?”

“She kinda threatened me with telling you, so…” he rolled his eyes.

“Oh… that’s…”

Crazy. She was crazy.

Hyunjin nodded, not needing to hear any words coming out of your mouth to understand what you wanted to say. “I know. I should learn not to underestimate her”.

“Yeah, I probably should, too…” you smiled weakly. “Good thing I realised something was off and didn’t believe her in the end”.

“Wait, what?” His eyebrows furrowed.

Something was off? You didn’t believe her?

“I didn’t believe her,” you repeated. “I was a bit shaken up at first, and that’s why I took some distance from you. I just needed to think about it with a cold head, but all along I didn’t want to believe it was true, so ultimately I didn’t. It didn’t sound like you at all”.

Was he tripping? Was he really way more drunk than he thought for your words to make no sense to him?

“You didn’t… want to?” Hyunjin’s heart ached, mostly hung up on those words of yours. “Would it be that bad if it was true?”

“Yes,” you replied in a heartbeat. “I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t be able to let myself fall for you if that was the case, Hyunjin”.

I wouldn’t be able to let myself fall for you if Dahye will always be there and I knew you’d go back to her whenever you get tired of me; is what you meant.

It would be bad if it was true that you’re in love with me, because I wouldn’t be able to let myself fall for you and ever love you back; is what he heard.

Just like that, for the fourth time in his life, once again because of you, his heart broke.

Although he’d come here knowing well enough that getting turned down by you was a very high possibility, actually hearing you so tactlessly say those words to him right then, and getting every chance of ever being with you crushed into pieces just like that, had his heart hurting in a way it had never before.

Feeling physically ill and finding it hard to breathe, he stood up, pacing around your room for a few seconds before he looked for support on the wall by leaning his back on it.

This might’ve been his worst heartbreak yet, for unlike the previous times, he’d let himself be led on. This time, he really thought that there was something going on between the two of you. All the reciprocated flirting and touches… had it all been him? Did you really not realise what you’d been doing to him all along?

“Hyunie…” you whispered, feeling your own heart break at the sight of him and going up to him, unable to give into your own sorrow as he seemed to have just confirmed that what Dahye told you was indeed true.

He closed his eyes as he tilted his head up to keep the tears from coming out of them.

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

He defeatedly shook his head when you placed your hand on his shoulder, rubbing his hands on his eyes to wipe the oncoming tears before he tried to walk away. “I’m sorry, this wasn’t a good—I can’t, I should leave” he apologised.

“So it’s true then?” You asked, grabbing his wrist for him to stay.

He shook his head no, and for just a moment there you felt relief, before he finally turned around and looked at you with reddened eyes. “Of course it’s true” his bottom lip trembled. “Why wouldn’t it be? Did I really get it all wrong?”

Your eyebrows knitted together, understanding this entire situation less and less by the second. “Get what wrong?”

“This,” he repeatedly pointed his finger from you to him. “Us. Whatever it is that I thought was going on between us”.

“Hyunjin…”

“I knew I was getting my hopes up too fast, but I thought,” he paused for a moment, shaking his head in disbelief over his own delusions. “All this time I thought what kept holding you back was our age gap, but turns out the problem was never my age, but me”.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you’d be willing to go out with that one other guy who’s also my age, so it was clearly never the problem”.

“What guy?”

“You know what guy”.

“Felix?” You pinpointed, not really knowing any other guys his age. Not like you particularly knew Felix either anyway. “I’m not going out with him”.

“You said you wouldn’t mind him being twenty three, though”.

“Because I don’t care about age, not because I want to date him” you tried to defend yourself. “Weren’t you the one who told me to consider dating younger guys?”

“Exactly, I told you that. Me. I said it so you would at some point consider me, not so you would start looking at other guys my age” he clarified.

“Hyunjin, I’m not—Why does age suddenly matter so much to you?”

“Because if you’re willing to date a guy who’s three years younger than you, then why can’t it be me?!”

You froze.

During all the years you had known him, you had never seen him lose his temper. He was always calm, rational. Had he ever even raised his voice in your presence other than when he got excited about something?

This was a side of him you’d never seen before, and it broke you.

Seeing him look so hopeless and sound so defeated right then, made you feel like holding him and never let go of him.

Things were moving too fast, though, and when you wanted to reach for his face and wipe the tear that had just rolled down one of his cheeks, he beat you to it; harshly wiping his face with his hands, as he refused to look away from you.

“All this time I’ve done nothing but pour my heart out to you. I’m so… so fucking in love with you it hurts me, Y/N. There are times when it physically pains me to love you this much,” he confessed.

Right now, it was one of those times.

“I’ve done everything in my hands for you to stop seeing me like the teenage boy you met back then, for you to stop seeing me just like Yeji’s little brother, and I know you’re not ready for a relationship yet, but I was willing to wait for as long as you needed me to until you were, because I was delusional enough to believe that I could actually make you fall for me” a breathless, humorless laugh abandoned his lips. “And now it turns out you just won’t ever feel the way I feel for you, and this guy shows up out of nowhere and gets everything I’ve tried to get from you right away without even moving a finger, and I just… I don’t know where to go from here”.

Your heart squeezed inside your chest.

Of all the things you were expecting as the outcome of your talk, a confession wasn’t one of them. Not this kind of confession, at least.

You were speechless. Not only did you not know what to say, but even if you did, you were sure your voice would betray you by not coming out when you opened your mouth.

Hyunjin loved you.

It wasn’t just a crush like you thought. It wasn’t him looking for something casual like you feared. No, he loved you. He was serious about you.

Why did you feel so happy yet so afraid about his feelings for you being so strong?

He took a step towards you, and you felt your heartbeat raise when his face was only a couple of inches away from yours and his breathing began to mix with yours.

“I don’t wanna give up on you, Y/N, I don’t. But I just don’t kn—What do I have to do for you to consider me?” He asked, pulling you closer by your waist. “What does he have that I don’t?”

“I’m not going out with him, Hyunjin” you repeated in a whisper, hoping this time he would believe you.

Whether he believed you or not, he leaned in closer, faintly brushing his nose with yours. “What do I have to do for you to give me a chance then?”

“Hyun…”

“I’ll do anything,” he said, cupping your face and making you lock eyes with him. “Just tell me what and I’ll do it”.

You slowly shook your head no, unable to get any kind of word out of your mouth. Was it not obvious enough already that you did feel something for him? Had the way you talked to him and how you acted around him not been enough for him to get that you liked him as something more than just a friend? As way more than just your best friend’s brother?

You couldn’t find the right words to tell him that. The only thing you could do was to stare into his eyes, and then down into his lips, feeling the tension between the two of you grow by the second.

Hyunjin caught up on that immediately, leaning closer, so he could brush his mouth on yours for a second, before he closed the gap that kept them from touching.

Only you beat him to it.

Had you waited one more second, he would’ve been the one to press his lips on yours.

But you did not.

Instead, you were the one to press your mouth on his.

You were the one to kiss him first.

You were kissing him.

And he froze.

His right hand was still cupping your face, his left one remained on your waist, and his eyes had naturally closed the moment he felt the heavenly pressure of your lips on his. But he froze nevertheless.

For the first few seconds, he was too stunned, too overwhelmed —in the best way possible— to even react. And, unfortunately, a few seconds was all the kiss lasted; for he missed your touch right when he was about to kiss you back.

“I’m sorry” you apologised right as you pulled away and covered your mouth with your hands, as if only then coming to your senses. “Hyunie, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t—”

That was as much as you got to say, for in a second he had already removed your hands from your mouth and replaced them with his lips.

You’d be damned if you thought you could get away with letting him get a taste of your lips only to deprive him of you all over again.

You kissed him back right away, going against your poorly attempted apology, and driving him crazy when you wrapped your arms over his shoulders. His hands that had been previously cupping your face were now on your waist, pulling you closer to his body as he tried to feel you as close to him as he could.

He kissed you like he needed you, like he’d been deprived of you for decades and was only now allowed to get a taste of you; and yet, he managed to be so gentle that you were left craving more by the second, whilst wanting him to kiss you just like that for a little longer.

After all, you didn’t know he had been dreaming of this moment for nearly seven years now.

Just like you, he, too, started wanting more. Pulling your hips harder against his and getting a small gasp of yours to part your lips, he took the chance to delve his tongue in your mouth — unable to keep the corners of his lips from curving slightly up when he felt your tongue massage his right back.

With your breathings becoming heavier, and without even dreaming of letting go of your lips just yet, Hyunjin made you take a couple of steps back, until your legs reached your bed and you instinctively sat down on it, allowing him to lean over you as he followed your mouth.

“You’re drunk…” you managed to whisper, right after you laid back on the mattress and his mouth sucked on your bottom lip once more.

“I’m fine, I’m fin—I’m perfect” he whispered in between kisses.

He was perfect. Being with you like this, with him hovering over you while your fingers gently dug into his hair and your mouths so deliciously sucked on each other, he could not be anything other than perfect.

Kissing you felt like a dream, and a part of him was afraid that it was one.

“No, Hyunjin…” you mumbled, only a couple of seconds later. “We shouldn’t be doing this…”

“Why not?” He asked, pulling slightly away from you — not enough for your lips to stop brushing.

“I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now” you confessed what his sister had told him earlier that night and, therefore, what he already knew. “I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t have kissed you”.

“No, don’t be sorry for kissing me. Anything but that, Y/N. You have no idea how bad I’ve wanted to kiss you all this time” he tenderly ran his thumb up and down on your cheekbone. “I can wait until you’re ready. Starting tomorrow morning I’ll wait all you need me to, but right now just… let me kiss you for a little longer”.

Having him whisper those words when his mouth was faintly touching yours, could only make you feel yourself give in to his plea.

“Hm?” He asked, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb. “One more and I’ll stop”.

Unable to speak, as it seemed to be the norm that night, you closed your eyes; and that was enough for him to take the hint and replace the thumb on your bottom lip with his mouth, sweetly sucking on it before he softly traced it with his tongue, for you to let him in and meet him midway.

The desperation of your second kiss was no longer there, as he now took his time to engrave in his memory every single second of your mouth sucking on his and your tongue massaging his own. He didn’t know when he would ever get to kiss you again, after all, and he wanted to take in as much as he could of it.

He wanted to take his time now; and kiss you slowly, deeply, lovingly.

When you were both left panting for air, he rested his forehead on yours, cupping your nape with his hand and digging his fingers in your hair before he hid his face in the crook of your neck, as a breathy laugh abandoned his mouth.

“You’re driving me crazy” he confessed.

“I should be the one saying that,” you chuckled rather sadly. “I don’t know what you’re doing to me anymore, Hyunjin…”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you’re confusing me so much right now. You say you love me and you make me feel so special, but then you go and…” you sighed, feeling him slowly withdraw his face from your neck as he tried to understand your point. “I wish it was that easy, but I can’t let myself fall for you now that I know what Dahye said is true”.

“I swear you’re making me question how much I actually drank, because that doesn’t make any sense and—You can’t do this to me, Y/N” his piercing eyes fixed on yours, and the way his voice sounded so calm now could only make your body tense up under him. “You can’t just kiss me and then tell me that…” he sighed, attempting to collect his thoughts. “If you don’t feel ready for a relationship I get it, and I’ll wait. I’ll wait for as long as you need me to, baby, that’s never been a problem. But you can’t just tell me that you’ll never love me back and then kiss me only to turn m—”

“When did I ever say I’d never love you back?” You questioned.

“When we were talking earlier?” He tilted his head in confusion. “I asked you if it would be so bad if what Dahye told you was true and you said yes”.

“Yes,” you agreed. “Because I can’t put myself through the hell your messy relationship with her would bring me”.

His eyebrows knitted together. “What messy relationship?”

“You know…” you avoided his eyes, only then being hit with how much the thought of him with someone else actually affected you. “This whole ‘fuck buddies’ thing and you going back to her no matter who you are with”.

“That’s ridiculous” he blurted out, almost offended that such an atrocity had just left your mouth. “Where did you even get that from?”

“That’s what Dahye told me” you said.

“That’s what…” the puzzle pieces finally connected in his head. “Is that why you said you wouldn’t be able to fall for me?”

“Yes?” You tilted your head questioningly. “Isn’t that what we were talking about all along?”

He should be mad at Dahye right then. He should want to scream at her for playing with the two of you like this.

Any other time, he would’ve been fuming. Right then, however, with your troubled expression as you didn’t get what was going on, with your pretty lips all swollen from how hard he’d been kissing you up until a minute ago, and having experienced such a wide range of emotions in a matter of minutes, he could only laugh.

Tilting his head back and letting a throaty laugh escape his mouth, he slumped back next to you on your mattress and covered his face with both hands, as he let his laughter take over him.

Nervousness, madness, embarrassment, relief, happiness; it was all mixed up into one loud, painful laughing fit.

He felt like a maniac, feeling you stare at him in worry and obliviousness, but he couldn’t find it in him to stop laughing.

“What’s so funny?” You wondered when he struggled to catch his breath.

“She lied” he explained, finally feeling like his laughter was coming to an end.

“She lied?”

“She lied” he confirmed, removing his hands from his face and wiping a couple of tears off his eyes before he locked them with you. “I don’t like her at all, Y/N. We hardly ever even talk, why would I—” he took in a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling as he felt like he was going crazy. “Can’t believe I cried for nothing”.

You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your mouth, both over his last remark and over how relieved you felt to know it was all been a misunderstanding, and that you had been right not to believe her in the first place.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t clear enough” you pouted, gently cupping his face when he turned to you.

He shook his head no, letting you know it was okay as he placed his hand on yours. “I didn’t specify either, so I was at fault, too” he smiled softly. “And we probably wouldn’t have ended up kissing if I hadn’t gotten so heated up anyway, so it was totally worth it”.

“You’re an idiot” you laughed once again, smiling when he leaned in and rested his forehead on yours.

“You still kissed me, though” he pointed out, bringing some heat to your cheeks. “Does that mean I actually have a chance now?”

“Was me kissing you not a good enough answer to that?”

“Kisses can mean nothing to some people, so…”

“I’m not one of those people, Hyunie” you let him know.

“Good,” he smiled, pulling you to his chest. “Because kissing you meant everything to me”.

You wrapped an arm around him, nuzzling the fabric of the black sweatshirt he was wearing and taking in his scent you loved so much.

“Shouldn’t we properly talk about what Dahye told us?” You mumbled.

“That, and about where we’re standing now, too” he agreed, sweetly tracing his fingertips up and down your back. “My head hurts now, though. I feel like I’m spiraling, I went through too many emotions in too little time”.

You giggled, looking up at him. “You want to continue this conversation tomorrow? When we’re both a little less overwhelmed?”

“Yeah…” he nodded. “I can sleep peacefully now that I know you feel something for me, too”.

You chuckled, making his bottom lip stick out in confusion when you pulled away from him and sat up on your bed. “It’s late, you can sleep here tonight. I’ll take the couch”.

He grabbed your wrist before you could get up. “Stay with me?”

“Hyun…” you hesitated.

“I won’t try anything, I promise” he was fast to say, well aware of where your hesitation was coming from. “Just need to feel you close tonight”.

If he was honest, any other time, he would’ve offered to take the couch and that would’ve been the end of it, but tonight he really needed your closeness. He needed to know you were there, to feel you next to him. And, thankfully for him, you needed just the same.

Silently motioning for him to get under the covers, you let him know you agreed to his request. He smiled widely, pressing a lingering kiss to your cheek before he did as told — making you laugh wholeheartedly when you got under the sheets as well and he wasted no time to pull you to his chest again and to tuck you in with him.

This entire day had been a mess. Hell, the whole fucking week had been unbearable. But you had been able to talk it out at last. Although messily, you now seemed to be on the same page about everything; from your feelings, to what you were looking for, to where the whole misunderstanding had originated.

This may not have been the conversation the two of you were expecting to have, but it was coming soon enough. Tonight, you could just go to sleep in each other’s arms, knowing what each other’s lips felt and tasted like, and with the certainty that your feelings were reciprocated.

Neither of you would have it any other way.

tag list: @jehhskz @iknowyouknowminho @doohnut @saintcosette @lailac13 @kayleefriedchicken @rikibun @yongbokkiesworld @seungzsmin @beautifulcolorgarden @hyunetopia @velvetmoonlght @automaticpersonabatpaper @httpdwaekki @brinnalaine @wondering-out-loud @feelikecinderella @nujeskz @amarecerasus @liknws @nhyunn @midsoulz @tirena1 @tinyelfperson @thatonexcgirl @iovecb97 @hynier @phenomenalgirl9 @your-favorite-pirate @jin-from-the-block @yearofthetiger25 @quokkacidal @stayconnecteed @kwanisms @yoonguurt @143hyunes @iiriam @cookielixie @hyunlvrs @allyrarara @machaandlofi @mehli-00 @justiceforvillains @minhosprettywife @whats-my-question @armystay89 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @hyeon-yi @skzstannie @onlyhyunjin

[billysgirllol]

“i think they can definitely tell, who’s a good person and who’s tryin’ to bring harm. animal’s are intuitive like that.” lucy gray reassures, smiling softly as her arm stays around her bent knees, her free arm tracing circles in the water. “oh…yeah?” brow lifting, looking over her shoulder at him before eyes glance back towards the water. shying up momentarily again. “of course not.” leave him as a single parent. a twitch of amusement pulling at her lips before softening at the thought, thinking how she can’t run. but even it she could, would she? not… exactly. not when she doesn’t have a gnawing fear in her chest yet towards him. just like the animals they speak of… if she doesn’t have a reason or sense a reason, she won’t leave. just like deer and birds, she too has those same instincts. “sort of. i mean, i can choose a favorite dessert. i can choose a favorite month. but i can’t choose a favorite color, animal or flower. all flowers, colors and animals make me happy. hard to choose just one.” a soft laugh emits, gently shrugging her thin shoulders. “what’s your favorite animal?” questioning before hearing the awful story of the man he knew and before too long her face is contorting into disgust and stomach churning, vomit reflexes on the rise when he starts saying thing about smells. “lord, then, i sure am lucky you found me in time. i might’ve suffered the same thing. that’s sickenin’, bless his poor soul havin’ to suffer all through that.” feeling sympathy and disgust, quickly trying to think of something else. she definitely doesn’t want to suffer like that and scared up to keep watching her wounds. “i hope not, i really like my hair. but then again… that’ll be my fault, maybe i’ll learn.” scolding herself— to at least brush her fingers through it and keep it from getting so matted. “it’d be devastatin’ cutting it off to my ears.” that gives her the notion to quickly start trying with her fingers to start pulling some knots out, feeling a little panicky on needing the answer if she’ll get to spare it or not. the rubs on her back feel so pleasant, too. the most soothing feeling she’s felt in awhile but she can’t exactly relax with her hair on the line.

“of course they will. if they know you’re helpin’ them, they’ll come along right to you.” and birds are intelligent, so they’ll know. “there is no such thing, but…” a tiny laugh sounds from her, glancing down at her water, swirling a finger around at trying to find the words to describe it. but she’s not used to it. “those are wonderful flowers to love. don’t ask me to choose a certain favorite, we’ll be here all day. there is somethin’ admirable about wild flowers though, you’re right.” a smile pulls on her face at his recognizing that. “thank you, tryin’ to be. i realize it’s still hurtin’ some but i guess that’s normal.” she figures, rubbing at her knee before glancing over at him, “oh, it’s alright darlin’. come on right over.” her legs are squished to her chest and while she’s a little shy and awkward about it, she’s not so shamefully shy she can’t grow bravery and accept she doesn’t care if he sees her bare back. “you can do both things if you’d like to.” now that she’s soaked in water, she guesses it’s not too embarrassing now that her hair is wet even if it’s in knots. “i’m just scared i won’t be able to get these knots out and i’ll have to cut it.” reaching back with an unpleasant look on her face, hand feeling the knots and worry spilling over her visage. almost puts tears in her eyes at how bad of shape she’s let her once beautiful hair get in. it reaches all the way down her back, like everyone in the covey, long hair is sacred. and at this point, she’s worrying she’ll lose the last thing that means a lot to her.

[lanalosty0uu]

⋆.˚ PROLOGUE ᝰ.ᐟ

🕰️ BACK TO THE FUTURE 🕰️

no specific warnings on this chapter slight foreshadowing of another stranger things character!

main masterlist

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

"Oh, no need to help, dear! I can do it by myself."

The nice 50 year old-ish lady told you not to worry about her fish pond. You're a second year high school student who just got accepted in an exchange program, and now you’re finally here, in Hawkins, Indiana.

"Oh, don't worry, Mrs. Byers, I can handle it pretty well… My dad also has a fish pond on the back of our house.” You tried to reassure her that it’s totally fine for you to take care of it. Remembering that she can already be categorized as an old lady, it would be very cruel of you if you let her clean it by herself.

“You are truly an independent and hardworking young lady… Reminds me of myself back in the old days.” You can see her smile while looking to a blank space, probably reminiscing herself back when she was younger.

You chuckled at her compliment, slightly thanking her for saying something you don’t hear everyday, especially from your parents. Instead of saying anything further, you smiled at her before continue cleaning her fish pond.

⊹ ࣪ ˖🕰️୭˚. ᵎᵎ🗝️

“Please, dear. Feel free to look around.”

Ever since you got here last week, you never had the courage to explore her gigantic house. Not because it has spirits living on it, of course not! (hope so) But, it’s more like you don’t wanna disturb her peace and you don’t wanna look like you’re being nosy about her personal stuff. Yet, from the first step you took on this house, you literally fell in love. The vintage architecture, big pillars on her yard, it seems impossible for an old lady to live her by herself.

Sure, her house only has two levels, but the interior of her house is just mesmerizing. The details and antique things in this place are remarkable. If only you don’t have to control yourself, you’d already touch every single one of her things.

The only thing that you did here was to go to school and spend time with her a lot. You went shopping together, clean the house, do regular house chores, watch cheesy rom-coms or comedy movies (which you surprisingly also love). The whole week basically already felt comfortable for you.

You always loved old people. You get to hear their stories, adventures, and all what happened in the past. It seems… Very interesting, so different with what you have now. And one of the things you love about Mrs. Byers, is that she talks about her youth days a lot in the 80s! You, as a person who is a big fan of the 80s always had an open jaw when listening to how beautiful life seemed to be in the 1980s, especially in the year 1985.

“These are some beautiful watch collections, Mrs. Byers!” You looked through a cardboard box full of old clocks and watches inside.

“Those were my parents’. I was planning to give those to the antique store since I don’t really use it. But you can look around there if you’d like, dear! If one catches your eye, please do take it before people put a price on it in the antique store.”

The feeling of knowing that you can look at these old watches and actually bring them home without needing to let out a single dollar made you feel euphoric. But, you still need to help her cleaning up this messy attic, not wanting her to get asthma from breathing the dusty air so much.

“Maybe I’ll do it later, Mrs. Byers. I gotta clean these up first.”

Mrs. Byers looked at you, giving you the ‘I swear this kid never rests’ look. Yet, she just smiled. And you know deep down she’s really happy to have someone to be her company and to help her around since her husband died a year ago.

⊹ ࣪ ˖🕰️୭˚. ᵎᵎ🗝️

“If you need me, I’ll be downstairs, okay dear?” Mrs. Byers excused herself to go back to her room, probably knitting since it’s what she’s been doing at home (as far as you know). She left you there in the attic, wandering through her watch collection.

As you were diving through it, you took pictures of every single watch, especially the ones that has unique details in it. But one caught your eye… A golden pocket watch. It has golden chains, chained to the top of the watch. Tiny details surrounding the face of the watch. Since it looks pretty old, it was also covered in dust and rust, including the roman numbers that tell the time inside.

You made the watch dangle around your arms, admiring it’s old, yet timeless beauty. You started turning the clock around, seeing if it still works or not. Sadly, it’s broken. You immediately thought of the 80s just by looking at it, imagining how Mrs. Byers would always wield it and brought it everywhere she goes, even though you know this watch must’ve came from an older time… Most likely to be from the 30s or the 40.

Since you liked that pocket watch so much, you put the chains around your arms, keeping it there as you put back the rest of the watches gently inside the cardboard, not wanting to be irresponsible after Mrs. Byers let you mess around with all of it.

note: hey, i'll be publishing the first chapter like around... later! but i'll be posting it today as well (i'll try hihi ^^), lmk what r ur thoughts about the prologue so far, and if there's any of u that wants to be in the taglist, feel free to ask! hope you like this one <3

@xprloki @pupwrites @gorlillaglue25 @lovestrucklyuniverse since y'all seemed pretty excited abt this, i've decided to tag y'all in this and all future chapters, really hope y'all like it and continue reading <3

[fancyfeathers]

Always Prey But Never A Bird

Based on the Yandere Batfam w/ Wife/Mother!Darling & Daughter/Sister!Darling series

Previous Chapter <- Chapter Seven -> Next Chapter

Taglist: @jsprien213 @toast-on-dandelioms @plsfckmedxddy @lilyalone @sydneyyyya @yandere-wishes @cxcilla @nemesis-writer

You are riding your bike just across the bridge, pulling into a small and long abandoned dock which was rendered unusable due to an Arkham Asylum breakout incident two months ago. You dismounted your bike, leaving it relating against a busted up fire hydrant, the motorcycle most likely enduring a scrape on the metal. You tugged at your hair, a sharp in take of the cold air of Gotham which made a noise which was reminiscent of a hiss. You felt like you were about to cry but instead you screamed, it was guttural and painful, like you had been stabbed in the gut or like when you fell of that bridge a few weeks prior to only be saved by Dick Grayson, you wanted to actually kill yourself in this moment or at least hit something.

As it could not get any worse you could hear the roar of an engine as it slowed down in the vehicle’s approach to you.

Your father.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” You heard his voice boom from behind you following the noise of the door of the Batmobile opening, his footsteps stomping towards you. He never got this level of anger at you as a child, even when you did start dating your now fiancé without his permission or when you punched a boy in your class in the face, well punch is a light word, you beat him bloody as a ten year old. “You cannot make a scene like that, you are going to put yourself in danger!”

“Wake up, I am in this world now, are you not in danger every night? What about Dick, Tim, Cassandra, what about them?” You snapped back at him, turning around at him, looking at him with that intense pain and anger that burned within them. “You all consider them your own, hell Damian is your biological child just like me and yet you treat me as if I am an incapable, helpless, broken child, a little girl who cannot do anything without her father breathing down her neck.”

“They are trained and have been doing this for a number of years-“

“So have I! I have taught myself everything over the last four years and yet you still see me as a child even now, I have done everything they have and yet you act as if I will break my leg if I even so much as trip when walking.” You scoffed, throwing your arms up in the air, you were exasperated at this point. “I am tired of being treated like a little girl, by all of you! I am exhausted trying to prove myself to you, so much so that I have only now decided to pursue my own happiness, the engagement was not to spite you or anyone else, it was for me and my own happiness for the rest of my life and unlike you I will actually be able to put the mask when the person who loves me asks me to, I won’t have them leave me when they are pregnant because they are terrified of what life their daughter will have with her father being who he is.”

“You let your emotions get the best of you, you put a target on your back because of your behavior back there.” He scolded you, his eyes narrowing at you from beneath the cowl. “You will get yourself killed by running around like this, your brothers and sisters are able to work with their heads clear but it’s clear that you let your anger control you-“

“Is that what you said when Jason came back as Red Hood, wanting to kill the Joker? Or when Dick left the manor and stopped being Robin because he couldn’t stand being in your shadow?” You rolled your eyes, walking back to your motorcycle, swinging your leg over the motorcycle, the engine purring beneath you. “Don’t try to drag me back, I don’t need your protection and I’m not yours anymore. Try anything and you’ll never see me again, trust me a lifetime is much longer than four years.”

______________________

You say on the ledge of a building, not quite willing to go back to the penthouse where Gabriel and his parents awaited for you to return but you were not ready to patrol around the city and potentially encounter your family, not a doubt in your mind that they were out and about with the party over. You sighed, resting your head on your hands and looking out over the city as you sat on top of an apartment building downtown, you would need to get back on a daytime sleep schedule again if you wanted to move on past your vigilantism, to be able to put up your mask for good.

“I thought I told you to return to your home.” You jumped up when you heard a familiar voice speak from behind you. You turned your head around to see a figure under the dim light of Gotham streetlights, Talia Al Ghul. “And yet here you are, disobeying your father at every turn.”

“He may be my biological father, but I will not treat him as such because that is not what he deserves, and I’m not going to back down from a fight just because you asked me to.” You snapped at her, standing up from the ledge, your body tensing as your hand came to rest on your belt, more specifically on an emergency signal that would alert your team if anything remotely went south or maybe even your family depending on if Barbara got into the security system again. “What do you want? I don’t really want to see you right now.”

“It is not me who wants to speak to you this time I am afraid.” She replied, a smile playing on the corner of her lips as she takes out a piece of fabric, a scarf, a very beautiful and most likely a priceless piece, and you certainly knew fabrics and fashions, your mother had a passion for them when you were growing up with just her and she took you traveling the world, your childhood home before you two returned to Gotham was in Singapore, your mother never wanted to come back to Gotham, but that was a story for another day. Talia handed you the scarf and then guided your hand underneath the jacket you wore over your suit. “When you are willing, wear this and someone will retrieve you, do not worry you will not be harmed and you will be returned right where you were taken.”

“I don’t think I understand-“

“My own father would like to see you, nothing more than pleasant conversation, maybe a bit of tea?” Her hand trailed up your cheek, stroking it affectionately as if nothing was wrong at all. “But I would not wait forever, patience is a virtue that does not last forever, my dear.”

“Don’t call me that, and I’m not particularly fond of the idea of meeting your father, especially the idea of being kidnapped to do so.” You sighed, slipping out your hand and glancing at the scarf she gave you. “But it’s a shame really since this is a really beautiful scarf, it reminds me of the sort of thing my mother would wear back when we lived in… never mind that was a long time ago.”

“Well you can keep it, it is a gift after all. You did remind me that I should pay your mother a visit, I have a few gifts for her, such a sweet thing.”

“You know she can’t stand you, right? My father also hates the idea of you being near her especially after how you conceived Damian, I-“ You were about to finish your sentence which was already earning a scowl from her but your phone rang, tucked inside your utility belt pocket. You sighed, keeping your eyes locked on Talia as you dug out your phone from your pocket, taking a look down at the caller ID, your now fiancé. “I… I have to take this, it’s… it’s my fiancé.”

“Go ahead, I will see you soon anyway, my dearest girl.” You blinked and in a moment she was gone, disappeared out of nowhere. You only glanced around for a moment before sighing and answering the phone.

“Hey dove, are you alright? Your father ran off pretty quickly after you left, your siblings and Miss Gordon too, I think they’re worried about you… do they know you’re…”

“Yes, they do know I’m Songbird, even if I wish they didn’t.” You replied to Gabriel, assuming what he was going to ask over the phone and of course you were right. “Look I’ll be back soon, really it was just a camera malfunction in the Joker’s cell-“

“The Joker?! You were… I… this is exactly why I want you to quit, I just don’t want you hurt by crazies like him.” You heard his voice sigh from the other end of the line. “Look, just come back in one piece.”

“Don’t worry about me too much, the Batman tailed me in there and made me sit on the side lines, the man is the most paranoid person I have ever met.” You rolled your eyes at the memory of your father back there and the unsettling comments of the Joker. “Look I’ll be back before morning, don’t wait for me… I need to meet up with some people.”

“Who may that be?”

“…for lack of a better term, my aunt.”

“You have an aunt?”

“Kind of… sort of?”

______________________

You parked your bike outback, behind a high end apartment building that was your destination. You took off your suit, leaving you in your evening gown and you tucked the pin into your small handbag, alongside your lipgloss and phone. You walked up the backstairs, avoiding the lobby and the doorman and so no one would take photos of you and the gossip headline would not be about the youngest Wayne child running about the city after you disappeared for four years, which was scandal enough.

The apartment hallway was cold, the air conditioning blasting as your heels clicked against the tile. Then eventually you reached a door at the end of the hallway and it took you a moment but you eventually mustered up the courage to knock. You could hear the sound of footsteps from behind the door and the sound of the lock and the door knob turning…

“Selina… hi…” The woman before you did not look shocked at the sight of you like you expected, instead she just smiled at you. “I’d like to talk… if you have the time-“

“I’ll get some wine.” She opened the door wide for you, allowing you to step into her apartment which was far warmer than the hallway. “Make yourself at home, Kitten.”

“Thank you, Selina.” You replied to her, walking straight into her living room and sitting down on the couch and as she walked off to the kitchen to grab two wine glasses and a bottle of chardonnay. “I… I got engaged.”

“Oh I know.” You glanced back at her in the kitchen as she poured the wine into each glass and with her free hand she held something up, your engagement ring. “Snagged your ring.”

“Selina!”

“Sorry, sorry, Kitten.” She laughed, taking both wine glasses back out to her living room where you sat. “Besides Dick came by whining about it after that party at that museum, he was practically sobbing, but so have been telling them all since you left that you have moved on with your life a long time ago, probably off traveling the world, but you stayed in Gotham of all places, after all this time.”

“Ya… I guess I just wanted to prove a point to my old man, Dick, Jason, Tim- all of them really, that I can do anything they can.” You held your hand out as Selina set the glasses of wine on the coffee table and she took your hand in hers as she sat down next to you and she slipped the ring back on your finger. “Dick didn’t tell you anything about who I am engaged to, did he?”

“Only that he hated everything about that and felt as if you were dying right before his eyes.” She grabbed the glass of wine that was hers and she took a sip before looking down at your hand and engagement ring again. “But I have to say that is one hell of a stone, how much?”

“It’s an heirloom, it was his great grandmother’s ring… or was it his great great grandmother’s ring? I wish I could remember.” You looked down at the ring and smiled wide, leaning your head back on the couch. “Two million to answer your question and his name is Gabriel Christel.”

“Two million?! Kitten, you have him wrapped around your finger and lapping at every word you say.” She giggled like a little girl, before standing up from the couch and walking back to the kitchen and grabbing her laptop from the counter while one of her many cats that she took in as strays jumped up onto your lap and curled up against you. She sat down right next to you, opening her laptop. “What are you thinking about with the wedding? Colors? Flowers? Guest list?”

“I don’t know any of that yet I’m afraid… but Selina, I need to ask you a favor.” You reached over and closed her laptop, not wanting to talk about any wedding planning at the moment. “This is Songbird business and right now Songbird needs Catwoman.”

“Of course, Kitten.” She set her laptop aside and pushed it onto the coffee table next to hers and your wine glasses. “What is it? And I promise, whatever you ask, whatever you say will never reach the ears of your father.”

“Well, it will eventually….” You sighed, squeezing your brow between your thumb and forefinger. “There are many people of different organizations who may be after me, but if something happens to me, please look after my friends, they would not be able to survive in Gotham without me and I doubt my family would be keen on lending a helping hand since they helped hide me for four years.”

“You really didn’t have to ask me that, lovely.” She smiled at you, taking your hands in her own, giving them a soft squeeze as her sharpened nails ever so slightly pressed against the skin of your knuckles, not hard enough to break skin at all, no she was always gentle with you. “I will always look after you, and that includes your friends too.”

“Thank you, Selina.”

“Now, that aside, I do want to talk about wedding dresses with you.” She reached out and grabbed her computer, quickly dropping the topic as quickly as you brought it up. She opened her computer, turning it on and her sharp nails tapped against the keyboard as she typed in her password. “What is your budget?”

“…there is none.”

“Now you’re talking my kind of language, Kitten.”

______________________

Selina leaned back on her couch, your head resting on her lap, you were long fast asleep. Selina had gotten a makeup wipe and she took off your makeup along with practically doing a whole skincare routine on you, after all she cannot have the future bride to be breaking out. She slipped off your heels and set them next to your handbag on the coffee table, besides designer brands like that hardly get worn anyway.

“I knew you were going to show up, Brucie.” Selina commented, glancing over her shoulder at the figure that lingered in the shadows of her apartment, near her window that she accidentally left open to air out the food she accidentally burned not too long before you came. She held her finger up to her lips in a shushing motion as he stepped closer, just close enough to love over the couch and see you sleeping on her lap. “She practically passed out about an hour ago, the poor kitten is just so tired, probably all the family stress you put her through.”

“Hmm… she put herself in danger today.” Your father spoke, walking around the couch so Selina would not have to roll her neck about just to see him, his footsteps as quiet as a mouse as to not wake you, but then his eyes fell upon the empty glasses of wine. He picked up one of the glasses, your empty glass, he ran his finger along the rim, collecting the liquid that was left behind before shooting a glare at Selina. “You drugged her.”

“She was exhausted, I could hear how tired she sounded, again probably from the stress.” Selina sighed, scratching at your scalp, messaging your head as she ran her fingers and nails through your hair. “If you’ve come to take her back to the manor I won’t allow you to.”

“Not… not yet.” Selina watched as the Batman kneeled down on the ground next to you, brushing the hair out of your face. He looked down at your hand and the engagement ring upon your finger, he sighed and slid it off, but of course he had to return it under Selina’s watchful eye. He sighed and pried one of the smaller diamonds off of the ring with a batarang and before Selina could raise an objection he took something out of a small pouch on his utility belt, a fake diamond. “It’s a tracker, just to make sure she is okay.”

“And so you can spy on her at any hour of the day.” Selina snapped back at Bruce, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. “You really are the most paranoid person I have ever met.”

“I am keeping my daughter safe.” She watched as Bruce slipped the engagement ring back onto your finger. “She is young and reckless.”

“Hm… well, may I have that loose diamond, that alone is worth a small fortune.”

“Selina.”

“Fine.”

[zshiftsrealties]

HOW SHIFTING FOUND ME A SECOND TIME, AND HOW TO BELIEVE SHIFTING IS REAL?

this is my personal take on the topic, and i'm not saying everyone will benefit from this advice because different people work differently. but this worked for me, and I hope that if you find this; this'll work for you too.

for me personally, I don't think "scientific proof" ever helped me believe shifting was real. I found the CIA document back in 2020-2021, and it still didn't change my view on shifting whatsoever. yeah, it was proof that it was real, but my mind didn't accept that. maybe "science" wasn't proof enough because to me science is always lagging behind everything else (from a religious aspect).

even after learning about how the mind works, the subconscious, etc etc and everything else and how it's proved by science still didn't help me at all.

eventually, I left the shifting community, and shifting in general. I completely stopped and thought "oh maybe once i'm older, and i'm somewhere with no noise, ideal setting, blah blah blah, I'll pick it up again". bullshit, I know. but because I just didn't believe it, I felt like making an excuse to not let myself feel bad.

so now, i'm completely out of the "shifting every night" phase, and back to "normal" routine. however, anytime I would watch some show, anime, movie, even some video on my feed of some beautiful place — anything, my mind would go "oh, I can shift there" or "oh, I'd like to shift there". but still, I discarded that thought.

then last year (2024), I decided to watch My Hero Academia from the beginning once again (cause why not), and throughout, I kept thinking "I want to shift there". and then, Shigaraki/AFO "killed" Katsuki in the Final War Arc. I cried ugly for so long, and kept thinking "no no no, that's not happening. i'm going to shift there and beat Shigaraki up for this" (I didn't even like Katsuki back then).

and so, I started to search, once again, about shifting. shifting storytimes, tiktoks, anything; everything. keep in mind I still had the doubt if shifting was even real.

now onto the topic of how to believe shifting is real? how I believed shifting was real, was by finding this one shifter on youtube; Cadmus (Shifting with Cad). I watched her videos, and the sincerity in her tone, the glimmer in her eyes when she would be telling an experience, and that smile of "relief" of finally getting to experience something so amazing yet so simple, is what made me believe in shifting.

obviously, I didn't just see her once and go "I totally believe it's real". it was a process, a slightly longer one, but one that was absolutely natural. anytime I would think that it was all a big lie, i'd think back to her and go "she can't be lying, I just know it. and that's what slowly, but surely made me believe that it is infact real.

so my advice to anyone who, despite knowing the scientific evidence of it, and knowing the science behind it all, still doubts shifting; is that find someone, a creater, a blogger, just anyone in general who, when you hear them talk about their experiences, you feel that they're absolutely not lying, even with all the doubts you have, and believe them until you don't need to believe them to believe that shifting is real.

it's okay to doubt, you don't have to beat yourself up over them. just know that at the end of the day, the world you see exists only through you, and if your eyes were to close the very next moment, your world would end with you. so believe the craziest things ever without logic, because you simply can.

[ni-idea-07]

My favorite person.

TW: Yandere themes, kidnapping, mentions of murder and kidnapping, explicit kidnapping, and more.

Jason loved you, he loved you so much since the moment he saw you. You were so young, full of life, and eager to help people living on the streets. He watched you from a nearby rooftop when you handed out blankets and food to the homeless in Gotham.

That’s when Jason began to follow you.

He discovered you were a journalist, and in Gotham, that was practically a death sentence.

Don’t worry, Jason followed you everywhere and eliminated some of the people who were also trying to kill you.

He also gave you gifts he knew you would like; he sent anonymous messages about events that hadn't gone public yet, even sent you some photos for your blog, and even large floral arrangements.

Although he had a lot of work, he couldn’t stop watching his news segment. He liked watching you talk about a case, he loved how you looked so smart, so confident, and with those dresses that highlighted your lovely curves.

He was a huge fan of your work, loved the way you wrote, and couldn't wait for the next update on your weekly blog, which led him, out of love, to hack your computer and gain access to everything—even if you noticed.

Still, nothing compared to the pain he felt when he found out you were writing a blog about him and that you were planning to present it on the news. He felt betrayed. After everything he had done for you, how could you do this to him? He just wanted to protect you, but you betrayed him.

And you will pay for that.

He slammed his laptop aside, rising from the chair and pacing back and forth in his hideout. His mind was a whirlwind. He had protected you, given you everything, even things he had never given anyone else. He felt vulnerable with you, and you had stabbed him in the back.

—“How could you do this to me?”— he murmured, clenching his fists.

He knew he needed answers, needed to confront you. But more than that, he needed you to understand what you had done, what you meant to him, and why your actions were unacceptable.

That night, while you were working on your blog at home, you received an anonymous message. The sender had been your constant source of exclusives, so you didn’t suspect anything when you opened it. But this time, the message was different.

—“Do you think you can write about me and get away with it? We’ll see each other soon.”—

A chill ran down your spine. You looked around your apartment, feeling like someone was watching you. You tried to focus on your work, but the fear was palpable. You closed your laptop and decided it was better to go to bed early.

That very night, Jason was in your apartment. He had entered effortlessly, using the skills he had learned to open your lock. He watched you sleep, his dark figure blending into the shadows of the room. His gaze was fixed on you, a mix of adoration and anger.

He quietly walked to your desk, looking at the notes and drafts on your laptop. He wanted to destroy it, erase all traces of what you had written. But he couldn’t do it without confronting you first. He wanted to hear from your lips why you had betrayed him.

You woke with a start when you felt a hand on your mouth. Opening your eyes, you saw him. Red Hood was there, standing in front of you, his intimidating yet familiar figure. You tried to scream, but his hand firmly covered your mouth.

—“You’re not going to scream. I just want to talk,”— he said in a calm but tense voice. Slowly, he removed his hand, giving you space to breathe.

—“Who are you? What are you doing here?”— you asked, your heart racing, although something inside you already knew.

—“Isn’t it obvious?”— he said as he took off his mask, revealing his face. —“I’m the subject of your blog. I’m the man who’s been protecting you from day one.”—

Your mind took a moment to process it. —“You...”— The words caught in your throat. You had researched so much about Red Hood, but you never imagined he’d be this close to you now.

—“Why did you do this?”— he asked, his voice heavy with pain. —“After everything I’ve done for you, why did you betray me?”—

—“I don’t know what you mean...”—

—“You’ll understand, don’t worry, princess.”—

—“I’ll delete it if that’s what you want,”— you whispered, but your words only seemed to fuel his fury.

Jason stepped closer, leaning over you. —“No, you didn’t. But I did because I love you. And now you’ll understand what that love means.”— His gaze was intense, dangerous.

You had no escape. And at that moment, you understood that things would never be the same.

He tried to grab you, but with a swift move, you covered his face with the blankets, using the confusion to run.

You ran. His footsteps echoed behind you. The door was near. Not close enough. You felt the tug on your hair.

—“We’ll be together, together forever,”— he spoke as he slammed your head against the wall.

—“I love you... and we’ll be together forever,”— he spoke with such tenderness, then removed his red helmet and kissed your bloodied and semi-conscious face. Everything looked blurry.

His smile was sweet and disturbing, a smile that promised you would never escape. It was the last thing you saw before you passed out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you so much for reading my blog. This is the first one, but I hope you like it.

place your orders🫠

Bye bye

[clarii]

Off Limits

Summary: JJ Maybank has always had a crush on John B’s sister, and the feeling is mutual. But when JJ finally musters the courage to ask John B for permission to date her, the answer is a firm no. Determined not to ruin his friendship with John B, JJ pulls away completely, leaving her confused and heartbroken.

Pairings: JJ Maybank x Reader, John B & JJ friendship, Pogues & reader friendship, John B & Reader Siblings relationship

Warnings: Angst, drinking, hurt/comfort, protective sibling, pining, unresolved feelings

Author’s note: There might be another part, I’m not sure yet.

The sun hung low in the sky, painting the Outer Banks in shades of orange and pink as the sound of waves echoed through the marsh. You sat cross-legged on the porch of the Chateau, fingers tracing patterns into the worn wood, watching JJ Maybank argue with Pope about some ridiculous bet he’d lost earlier that day.

“Admit it, Maybank, you lost,” Pope taunted, waving a dollar bill in JJ’s face.

JJ snatched it back, flashing his signature grin. “It was a technicality, man. You know I had that cannonball beat if the current wasn’t so strong.”

You laughed softly, barely hearing the conversation because all you could focus on was the way JJ kept stealing glances at you from across the deck. It wasn’t subtle — it never was with him. His blue eyes lingered, his smirk lingering just a little longer each time you caught him staring.

“Hey, you good?” he called out, tilting his head toward you.

You nodded, trying not to blush under his gaze. “Yeah, just enjoying the chaos.”

JJ winked. “We keep it interesting, huh?”

That was how it always was with JJ. Constant teasing, pet names like princess and sweetheart tossed around like they meant nothing. But they meant everything to you.

And he knew it.

It had started small — the hand-holding during bonfires, his arm always finding its way around your waist when he walked you home after late nights at the beach. He’d tuck loose strands of hair behind your ear, fingers lingering on your jaw. It was like he couldn’t help himself.

The feelings were undeniable. And honestly, you thought he’d confess any day now.

But then came that conversation.

“Dude, I gotta talk to you.”

JJ stood in the Chateau’s kitchen, nervously rolling a bottle cap between his fingers. John B, completely oblivious, was shoving chips into his mouth like the human garbage disposal he was.

“Yeah? What’s up?”

JJ hesitated. This was harder than he thought it’d be. He rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding his best friend’s eyes.

“It’s about your sister.”

John B froze mid-bite, narrowing his eyes. “What about her?”

JJ’s throat felt dry. “Look, man, I care about her. Like, really care. And I… I wanted to ask if it’s cool, you know? If I took her out sometime. For real.”

John B set the chip bag down with a thud. His face shifted from confusion to something colder.

“No.”

JJ blinked. “Wait, what?”

John B shook his head. “I’m serious, JJ. She’s not some hookup, man. She doesn’t need you messing with her head.”

JJ clenched his fists. “I’m not messing with her, JB. I—”

“I’ve seen the way you are with girls. I know you, JJ. And I’m not letting you screw up our friendship over this. She’s off limits. End of discussion.”

The finality in his tone made JJ’s stomach twist.

“Dude—”

“I said no.”

And just like that, everything changed.

JJ kept his distance. No more flirting, no more lingering touches. No more playful pet names. He acted like you were… just there. A regular person.

It hurt.

And you didn’t understand why.

Days passed. Then weeks. You noticed the way he avoided your gaze, the way his jokes were no longer meant for you but for everyone else. He stopped walking you home. Stopped holding your hand during bonfires.

He was acting like you didn’t exist.

And it was killing you.

A week later.

The party was loud, the music too much, the smell of beer thick in the air. You weren’t even sure why you were there anymore. Probably because you knew he would be.

JJ was sitting on the back deck, red solo cup in hand, head tilted back against the railing. His face was flushed, hair messier than usual, and his smile? Faded.

You hesitated, but then John B appeared, blocking your view.

“Hey,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

You blinked. “You mean besides your best friend acting like I don’t exist?”

John B’s face paled slightly, but he recovered quickly.

“He’s… just being JJ.”

You scoffed. “No, he’s not. He’s avoiding me.”

John B sighed, glancing toward JJ, who was now standing up, swaying slightly as he finished his drink.

“He’s drunk,” John B muttered. “Let me handle this.”

You shook your head. “No. I will.”

You found JJ leaning against the fence outside, eyes closed, lips pressed in a thin line.

“JJ.”

His head snapped up, and for a second, that softness was there again — the way his eyes searched yours like he was trying to memorize your face.

But then his face hardened.

“Hey. Thought you’d be inside with… you know, your actual friends.”

Your heart sank. “Why are you acting like this?”

He exhaled shakily, running a hand through his hair. “I’m just tired, Y/N. Go back inside.”

You stepped closer, ignoring the ache in your chest. “No. Not until you tell me why you’re avoiding me.”

JJ’s jaw tightened. “Ask your brother.”

Before you could respond, John B appeared, tugging JJ away from you. “Dude, you’re wasted. Let’s go.”

But JJ wasn’t done.

He shoved John B’s hand off his shoulder, voice cracking.

“You think this doesn’t hurt? You think it’s easy to just… shut her out?!”

John B stared, stunned.

JJ’s voice rose. “You told me to stay away from her! So I did! But it’s killing me, man! I—” His eyes flicked to you, glassy and vulnerable. “I’m in love with her. And you made me feel like I wasn’t good enough to even try.”

Silence.

You felt like the world had stopped spinning.

John B swallowed hard. “JJ… I didn’t mean—”

JJ’s voice broke. “Yeah, you did.”

And with that, he pushed past both of you, disappearing into the night.

[lolitastories]

Soldier

Bucky Barnes

“There you are!” I raise my head to a certain redhead. She had a bright smile as she rushed over to sit beside me. “Look!” My eyes widened as I looked at the picture on her screen. She has always been able to read my mind so when I tried to speak, she already knew what I was going to ask. “It was part of some article about Steve.”

“God,” I groan.  I pull the phone closer and zoom in on only Bucky. “He was such a precious baby. Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.” I couldn’t help but feel giddy just by saying his name.

“Does the cigarette do anything for you?” I look at her with furrowed brows. “I know you say you hate men or people in general who smoke but don’t lie-” She wiggles her brows giving me a playful shove. “You think he looks more than cute,” I roll my eyes pushing myself out the couch before I confess something I shouldn’t. As I walk towards the kitchen to prepare a drink, she turns herself over to lean against the couch. “Your knees would be weakened by his sole presence. You would flutter your eyes as he would speak to you in that 1940’s Brooklyn accent.” I look at her through my lashes as I shake my head. “Then he would invite you to a date at the fair, holding hands, eating ice cream and like a gentleman he would walk you home,” I looked up seeing how her big grin grew even bigger. She takes a pause before spitting out her next words. “Then fuck you into oblivion” I gasped reaching over to grab a single grape and throw it at her.

“Shut up Nat!” Of course, she smoothly avoided my deadly grape and continued to laugh.

“You can’t tell a lie! I can see right through you.” I roll my eyes, ignoring her completely.  I grabbed the bowl of grapes and started washing them. “He hasn’t dated anyone yet.” I was focused on washing the grapes, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t have an ear out to what she was saying. “There are girls who would love to date like in the 1940s. But do you think Bucky would adapt or stay the same?” I set the bowl on the counter and begin drying the grapes. My eyes still look down as I do the task as I begin to think about her question. “It would be hard to break a habit since for him it's only been a couple of years.”

“A major part of a relationship is compromising. I think when he chooses to date again the girl, he picks will be open to those kinds of dates.” Who wouldn’t? “Plus, you can never go wrong with a fair date.”

“Got a fair date?” I stupidly look up. My first thought was how easy it was for Nat to change her voice to a deeper tone but then I look over to find Bucky walking into the room. “Didn’t pick you for those kinds of things” It stung a little to hear those words from him. I gave him a little smile but that was the only thing my body allowed me to do.

“She might not seem like it, but she likes all that lovey Dovey stuff.” Thank God for Nat. “She loves too many rom-coms and that's the reason why she doesn’t have a favorite movie.” I looked up trying to give her a look that said, “Thank you for making it less awkward but you don’t need to continue!” “She hates big crowds, but you will see her smile at every person who passes by. She’s a sucker for romantic gestures and loves flowers!” She exaggerates as she opens her hands wide, because it was true, I do love flowers. “I know women nowadays say that flowers are just a waste of money, and she will agree,” I looked down at the fresh clean grapes as I felt both Bucky and eyes on me. “But I also know she’s a sucker for any bouquet. She romanticizes everything! The fair is her favorite ambiance which I was shocked to find out because the air is filled with the thing she hates most-”

“Cigarette smell.” I look up hearing Bucky instantly respond.

“Yeah!” Nat points out but at that moment as she continues to ramble on, Bucky and I are looking at each other. “She loves the lights, the adrenaline from the rides!”

“So, you got a date?” He whispers, raising one brow. I look over smiling at Nat who continues talking but simply shakes my head.

“She hates all that deep fried stuff, so she never eats there, which I tell her she is definitely missing out on.” I watch as Bucky opens his mouth but restrains himself when we notice Nat now standing on the other side of the island.

“Care for a drink?” Bucky nods. I grab a glass and place ice on it before pouring his choice of alcohol. “Nat.”

“Hmm?” She says a little distracted. “It's 2.” I turn to her with the finished drink in my hand and wait for her to catch on.

“Shit is it really?” She grabs Bucky's arm and pulls it closer to see the time in his watch. “Got to go!” She smiles before waving goodbye and running out of the room.

“You would think she would be always on time since she is an agent and everything” I laugh walking over to hand him his drink.

“In her defense the problems you guys deal with don’t have a certain schedule,” He nods agreeing while taking a drink. “Plus, she was stalling because she’s the one going on a date.” He looks over shocked. I smiled as I grabbed the bowl of grapes and started walking over to the couch. “Now you will be more surprised to know Bruce built up the nerve to ask her.”

“Bruce?” He asked. Which I turn my head from the couch and nod. “Good for him.” He took another drink before he started walking over to me. “So,” I untangle my legs and plant my feet on the ground to let him sit beside me.

“Yeah?” Bucky and I became friends over the years. Hanging out with Nat allowed me to enter the avengers inner circle. We got stuck together while watching a movie and spent the night whispering to each other. Since the end of that night we started getting closer and closer.

“I got you this.” I looked down as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a little trinket. I place the bowl on the coffee table before grabbing it from his hand. “If I knew how much you liked rom-coms I would have chosen La Vie En Rose,” I bit my lip holding back a chuckle. One time Sam and Bucky came back from a mission, and he was bragging about a little trinket someone had given him, and I mentioned I liked it. Months later on the next mission and the ones following that, he always came back with something in hand.

“You can get it for me next time,” I joke. I opened up the small little music box and turned the handle. “This one is perfect, thank you.” I look up to find a smile on his face as well. We burst out laughing as the Pirate of the Caribbean song started playing. “Yeah, this one is perfect.” I look back over to him but then my eyes fall towards our hands. I didn’t notice when it happened, but he was holding my hand in between his own. I flinched to pull away but froze when he lifted my hand and pulled it closer to his chest.

“So, you don’t have a date?” I couldn’t tell you how fast I looked up to search his face, but his eyes were plastered to our hands. I felt his thumb gently trace over my palm.

“No,” I let out with a shaky breath.

“Would you like to go on a date?” He said it so unfazed I thought he was joking but when he finally looks up his eyes are full of wonder. His brows raised up just a bit waiting on my answer. “We can go to the fair.” His tone was low. “You-”

“Yes,” It was like a last breath of air I let out. I didn’t want him to change his mind. “I would love to go on a date with you.”

“Okay.” He nods nervously as he lets out a chuckle. “I will apologies in advance because I will come off as old school- like old old school-” I laugh, removing my hand and grabbing his face.

“Good for you then, I have a thing for old school romance,” He laughs as he places his hand over mine. “Even if it's old, old school.”

“Yeah?” He says a little teasingly.

“Yeah.” I fix my posture. “I think it's hot.” I felt my nervous calming down and we were back to joking with each other. “People call it daddy issues but, in your case, would it be grandfather issues?”

“Seems like either way you have a problem.” I opened my mouth, acting offended.

“Says the one going on a date with someone who is 82 years younger than them.” He raises his finger with a smile

“Technically 8 years.” I raise my finger challenging him

“Technically you are 106 years old. so do some math, grandpa.”

“Oh, wrong choice of word!” We make some distance between us when we hear Sam walking into the room. “Last time I called him that he threatened to disappear me,” I looked over to Bucky who was giving him a death glare. “And that is the nice way to put it because I don’t want to bore you with the details, it was graphic” I laugh not believing Bucky would do such a thing. “So, what are you going to tell her, huh?” He grinned leaning against the island. Bucky turns over slowly, giving me a wink and that blows my breath away.

“I’ll see you tonight.” He whispered low enough for only us to hear. I held back my urge to smile even bigger, but I didn’t know it was possible. He patted my hands before standing up.

“What?” Sams shrieks raising his hands in disbelief. “Wait.” Bucky stops in the middle of the room and places his hands in his front pockets. “You are just going to let her off the hook. No warning or threats? How is that fair?” Bucky takes long and short strides over towards Sam. I could see the life drain from Sam's body; I can imagine how intimidating Bucky must look.

“Because it's her.” He pointed out plain and simple.

“But I'm me?” He smiles, proud of himself.

“Not even close.” Sam slaps his chest playfully, taking offense to his words. “Plus, she’s pretty.” With a simple shrug he turns around and walks out of the room.

“Don’t you dare start blushing!” I looked up stunned knowing blushing was an understatement. I was totally red like a tomato.  “You don’t even know his favorite color!” He grabs his newly fixed drink and starts walking away. “Pretty? I am prettier, Bucky!” He walks out screaming behind Bucky. I don’t think I could laugh any longer. My mind was preoccupied with a certain person. Did he say tonight? Shit. I am going on a date with Bucky tonight.

“I got just the thing for you to wear.” Thank God I am not an agent because the many times I haven’t noticed someone walk in would be concerning.

“You're an angel” I rush over to Nat.

“I knew it would get Bucky’s mind running when he heard you might be going on a date. Now let's get you ready for your soldier!” Mine. Baby steps, but I can feel it deep down that this won’t be our last date.

"Wait," I stopped in my tracks turning over to her. "What happened to your date with Bruce?" She smiles towards the floor.

"I got to excite and thought it was today. When I walked into his lab, I felt stupid and ran away." Of course she did. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pulled her close.

"Okay well since you are helping me out tonight, I will help you out tomorrow, deal?"

"Deal."

[emshiftss]

‧ new year's shifting pick a pile ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚

{ i've been meaning to do another collective reading but honestly forgot, but hey it's a new year so... this will just be anything you may need to hear right now. i hope you find what you were looking for, and if i was able to help in any way then i'm glad. and just like any other reading you find, take what resonates and leave what doesn't }

❆ take a deep breath... and choose the pile you're most drawn to...

✿ PILE ONE ⋰˚☆

KEYWORDS/SIGNS: rain, orange slices, pie, hot tea, 777, gloomy weather, allergies, ears ringing, dogs barking/whining, 222, trust, hourglass, boredom, keys, heart ache, homesick, road trips, four leaf clover, golden child, shaking hands

❆ a decision, a choice. is this right? am i making the wrong choice? let’s take a deep breath ok? it seems you are at a crossroads of sorts. perhaps you don’t know what to do with yourself when it comes to your shifting journey. that’s ok! whatever this issue is for you specifically, i believe you already have they answer. let’s slow the roll, take some deep breaths and try to see this clearly. to me it seems you are over consuming information. i suggest you log off of social media for a bit, sit with yourself and look over the information you already have, discard what no longer fits you and keep what works. you know you best! some random person online cannot (unfortunately) fix your supposed problems for you. no matter how much advice you seek, you can only do that. you need to let go of this internal struggle, you are only fighting yourself, creating resistance. if the answers still seem to be foggy to you, perhaps you can meditate and look for the answers there.

❆ it seems your mind might be in the midst of chaos, or perhaps your life is as well. yet when it comes to your shifting journey you may just be on the brink of a spiritual awakening you desire (or need). the clarity is within YOU. it looks like you are walking down this path with a blindfold on, unsure of where you are going, what choices to make. maybe there is something you don’t want to face. but these fears and worries do not need to hold you back. let’s try to use them to your advantage. face what is holding you back and if you just can’t rid it, know that it does not stop you, only shows a different part of yourself.

❆ instead of putting your journey and motivations on others, it’s time to look within. there’s only so much more “new” information you can gain. your journey is yours and yours alone. that doesn’t mean it has to be a lonely one though. trust that you have the answers, and trust that there is still a community for you! having so many different pieces of information and advice forced upon you to try and digest and make use of is not helping you. sit with yourself and ask yourself if there is genuinely anything you still need to learn from others at this point? at what point do you let it all go and just use it to your benefit?

❆ maybe creating some sort of routine will help you as well, setting up some self-discipline. on the flip side you may need to let go of perfectionism as well. you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. shifting is supposed to be fun. maybe reflect on what you can do to make this all the more enjoyable. let go of the process and remember where you started.

SONGS ✧

‧ ₊ escaper - sarah kinsley

“ everything changed

but my mind couldn’t change me ”

‧ ₊ wildflower - beach house

“ need a companion…

a hidden prayer

you know your not losing your mind

what’s left, you make something of it ”

‧ ₊ eye contact - fromis_9

“ When I closed my eyes and felt it, there was a small gap between you and me

I want to see you again, I want you so…

When you look at me, the moment I started believing in eternity

When I look at you, it was possible because of you ”

METHOD SUGGESTION ✧

{ remember you don't need a method! }

‧ ₊ void/pure conscious

‧ ₊ julia method

✿ PILE TWO ⋰˚☆

KEYWORDS/SIGNS: waterfalls, cinnamon, 444, crows, 88, water damage. doubles, holiday, patience, crowns, one of a kind, eye on the prize, chocolate cake, stars

❆ let’s take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back! give yourself space to celebrate your accomplishments, big or small, bright or dim. it’s ok to reflect and give yourself credit for all you’ve done, someone has to, and you deserve it. you are at a place of harmony and balance in your journey. embrace it! know that you already have it, and if necessary take a breather, pause and look around yourself. look at all you’ve achieved! it will still be here for you, even if you take a break from it all. whether it’s here or in your desired reality, you are surrounded by so much love and support. even on your worst days. your vision is clear, if you're ready, know that it is yours, and make that first step. perhaps all you need is a little reassurance, you got this!

❆ you’ve clearly invested a lot into yourself and your journey. your hard work will pay off, you just need to sit back and let it. perhaps you are confused over slow results. yet you should persist, for it is already yours. stay in a mindset of gratefulness, if needed share your feelings with someone, talk it out.

❆ stay steady and clear, you are on the right path. if victory is what you want, victory is what you’ll get. you are just on the verge of making a breakthrough. keep going. embrace all your ideas and write them down. let yourself create your vision, live in that moment. your creativity is your strength. you may be overwhelmed with the excitement, all the possibilities. harness it and let it push you further. it is all up to you.

SONGS ✧

‧ ₊ mariners apartment complex - lana del rey

“ i ain’t no candle in the wind

i’m the board, the lighting, the thunder…

they mistook my kindness for weakness ”

‧ ₊ numb - men i trust

“ please forgive me if i ever did you wrong

i’ll be your candle; burn me upside down ”

‧ ₊ moon song - beabadoobee

“ i’m lying on the moon

my dear, i’ll be there soon

it’s a quiet and starry place

time’s we’re swallowed up

in space we’re a million miles away ”

METHOD SUGGESTION ✧

{ remember you don't need a method! }

‧ ₊ intention

‧ ₊ lucid dreaming

✿ PILE TWO ⋰˚☆

KEYWORDS/SIGNS: love, pairing, 555, daydream, interruptions, cats, heartbreak, lonesome, tears, sleeping in, not sleeping enough, castles, cages, 333, 1212, floating

❆ it has been a long journey for you, a hard one at that. you may have found yourself in many setbacks. perhaps you blame yourself, there’s a lot of sadness and anger here. in this moment you can choose forgiveness, forgive yourself and know that it’s all ok. whatever has happened, there’s no use for guilt. open up to a friend, a stranger, someone. vocalize your feelings and hardships. with mistakes you can learn and grow from them, and ultimately come out stronger in the end. show yourself grace and love, and set your eyes on newer and better things. know that no matter what you can still trust yourself. take small steps and build yourself back up. find the romance and beauty in shifting again, it’ll always be there.

❆ i see that you may be someone shifting for love. keep your partner in mind. despite everything, please remember you are deserving of love and happiness. keep your love close to you. just as you wish to be with them, use it to bring you two together. your emotions are not a flaw, feel them, sit with them, BE them. wherever you are and where you want to be, what are you feeling? are you in your bed? perhaps the arms of your lover. whoever you want to be, FEEL IT, let your compassion drive you forward. there’s no need to be embarrassed over your feelings, they are valid, and so are you.

❆ you need to make the decision. you can’t sit in despair forever, pick yourself up and know that there are better things for you. use it all to your advantage, all the bad just as the good. being interrupted during a meditation? that’s fine, it doesn’t have to stop you forever. Distracted? that’s ok, take a deep breath and know that it doesn’t have to hold you back, unless you let it. you don't have to have the most squeaky clean mindset ever to shift, that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense does it? accept where you are at, and accept where you want to go.

SONGS ✧

‧ ₊ whale - kim sejeong

“ i find you hidden in the dark night sky

when i walk on the purple road among the clouds

Can I face you only at the end of the darkness?…

Where did you disappear

i miss my whale…

time has become today in front of you ”

‧ ₊ high - slow pulp

“ i have to much in my pockets

i wish they were empty…

my limbs are feeling lazy

why won’t they work with me?

and now i can’t seem to focus my eyes

won’t let me see ”

‧ ₊ sweet nothing - taylor swift

“ they said the end is comin’,

everyone’s up to somethin’

i find myself runnin’ home to your sweet nothings…

to you, i can admit that i'm just to soft for all of it ”

METHOD SUGGESTION ✧

{ remember you don't need a method! }

‧ ₊ fives senses

‧ ₊ staircase method

‧ ₊ wake back to bed

[cakerybakery]

Going through my drafts today and finishing up story ideas I had because my drafts are out of control again.

Adam in court ordered anger management because he punched his boss in the face.

-

Charlie was used to hostile. She worked in helping people, and not everyone wanted to be helped. And she’d dealt with people who were stubborn and prideful before.

Her father was a pain in the ass. That stubbornness being the reason her folks split while she was in college. Her father was not the biggest fan of her and her mother’s work.

Lilith did mostly work with charities. Helping organizations thrive and help people.

Lucifer had had a more pessimistic view of charity and Charlie’s work to help people find better outlets than violence for their anger or resentment.

They had only recently reconnected after Charlie distancing herself from him.

Swallowing her own pride after the city cut her funding, she went to her father to ask for help. She tried her mother but she was off in some remote part of the world doing something with, tigers? Or maybe a rainforest? It was hard to hear through the static. It was some sort of thing like that. Helping to establish a local office, wherever she was for whatever organization she was hired by now.

Charlie just wanted to see if Lucifer could help her figure out how to get her funding back. See if he could help get her a meeting with the right people.

Instead he criticized her until she told him off and she told him how much it hurt that he couldn’t stand by her and support her on this. That seemed to hit home and he got her the meeting and gave her the funding himself when that fell through.

But Adam, oh boy. She was nearly at her wits end with him.

He was court ordered to be there and like most people he felt justified in what he did. It didn’t help that his boss had goaded Adam into punching him.

They had some disagreements about heated topics and according to Adam, and their company, Michael wanted Adam gone. He was too good of a worker to fire, so he goaded Adam into striking him, not realizing the cameras had audio.

Michael had been fired, but Michael’s boss hadn’t been quite willing to yet to let Adam go too. So Sera had paid for a lawyer personally and with evidence of Michael fishing for a reaction, the judge had been lenient and order the anger management class instead of jail time for the assault.

But he had to put in the work and so far, Adam wasn’t.

In the parking lot after a class, she tried to talk to Adam. It got heated. About when he added another fist sized dent to his own truck was when Lucifer showed up.

Charlie had never seen that side of her dad before. When she was little she knew he’d come home with a black eye or bloody knuckles. He said it was just an accident. It wasn’t until the divorce that she learned her father had a short fuse with only a few hair triggers.

Never taking kindly to things like cracks about his height or remarks about his family. That anger was never directed against her or her mother, but her mother had been embarrassed by it on occasions while out.

Charlie winced as Adam punched his truck, but Lucifer had thought Adam was threatening her with the act. He flew at Adam, tackling the man to the ground. Adam defended himself.

She had to scream for the men to stop, and others from the help centre appeared to pull the men apart.

The exchange was heated but they both realized it was a misunderstanding of the situation.

Lucifer apologized and Adam, a father himself, saw himself in the tiny man. It was Michael talking shit about Adam’s kids that made Adam punch him to begin with.

He easily saw how it could be him in Lucifer’s place. If he saw a hulking man losing his shit at one of his kids, Adam couldn’t say he wouldn’t have come in swinging either. Figures that’s probably not a good thing and needs to learn to keep his cool long enough to assess a situation.

But it’s another tipping point for Charlie. Lucifer can do something about his anger management problems or she was done with him.

Unwilling to risk losing her again he agrees to join the anger management group.

Lucifer and Adam start talking during the sessions. They have stuff in common, like loving their kids, being single, having an older taste in music, fighting. Adam having done wrestling in high school, while Lucifer folks tried to give him boxing as an outlet for his anger. It only taught him how to punch better. Most importantly they enjoyed each other’s company.

Neither had dated a guy before, but they were watching a pay per view fight at Lucifer’s, they drank a bit, the guy they were supporting won the round and the two jumped up from their seats to cheer.

Adam picked Lucifer up in a crushing hug and stumbled back into the couch. Lucifer was left with his arms around Adam’s neck. Adam’s hands on Lucifer’s hips. Lucifer in Adam’s lap. They laughed at the silliness of the situation. When the laughter died down they were still sitting there. Their faces close, there was a moment.

They looked at each other. Lucifer could get off of Adam’s lap and they could pretend this never happened. But Adam wasn’t pushing him away. His hands held onto Lucifer’s hips firmly. It was hard not to notice they were both hard. Lucifer leaned a little closer, Adam closed his eyes.

Adam spent the night.

They didn’t talk about what happened and at the next fight, things were awkward. Until they got into the fight and their guy knocked the other fighter out. They high fived. Instead of pulling apart, they started to hold hands. By the final bell Lucifer was pressed into the couch cushions as Adam left love bites along his neck.

Adam spending the night after they watched a fight became a ritual. Then one night Adam tried to cancel. His ex needed him to watch the kids because of a family emergency. Three rambunctious boys that weren’t allowed to watch the fights because they tended to copy what they watched on tv.

Lucifer insisted he and the boys come over anyway. They could watch a movie, order pizza… spend the night. Lucifer could record the fight and they could watch it after the boys go to sleep in the guest room, upstairs in Lucifer’s room, with a locked door… so the boys couldn’t see the fight.

Adam had to admit to Eve that he’s kind of seeing a guy. She doesn’t like the kind of. Nor the boys going over like that. It would be one thing if Adam and Lucifer were serious. But she doesn’t like Adam bringing a fling around the boys. But Adam wants to bring the boys around Lucifer. He likes Lucifer. He wants to be with Lucifer.

Maybe do more than watch fights and fuck. So he asks Lucifer out on a real date.

Lucifer had been a little afraid of taking the next step, a little afraid of asking Adam out, a little afraid all Adam wanted was to watch a fight and then fuck.

It was a weight off his chest for Adam to ask him out. Happily, Lucifer agrees to a date.

Perhaps the start of their relationship is a little odd, a pair of hot heads fighting, but that was the last fight they ever had. With each other anyway. Susan at the PTA meeting had it coming

[stilesstlinski]

‘Jekyll and Hyde’ wasn’t the most sensitive way to describe Void, but it certainly was accurate, so Stiles appreciated the honesty behind her question. “Yeah. But it’s more than that, y’know?” He glanced down with a sigh, noting that his hands were no longer trembling. Talking to Rose was proving a good distraction, as he’d theorised. She didn’t tiptoe around difficult subjects, or tell Stiles what he wanted to hear, instead of what he needed. He owed her the same in response. “Ever since I died it’s just gotten worse. The not sleeping, the jumpiness. Constantly feeling like something terrible is going to happen, again. It’s like drowning. Do you ever feel like that?” She seemed so put together, but perhaps Rose was better at hiding her anxiety. Or maybe he was right, maybe it was just him. She hadn’t come back with an evil alter ago, after all.

“I don’t, actually.” Stiles interjected quickly, before she continued. It was important to him that she realised he valued her opinion. If he didn’t, they wouldn’t even be having this conversation. He sat in silence from that point, letting her speak her piece. Unfortunately, she wasn’t saying anything he wasn’t already aware of. His relationship with Scott had been strained for months, and it was doing Stiles no favours. Without his brother, his panic attacks were more frequent, as was his loneliness. He felt like half of a whole person, especially considering the pack bond caused it to become a very physical absence. “Yeah. Yeah I know,” he replied, lips pressing together. 

Deep down, Stiles knew that Scott valued him a great deal, and loved him. But his own insecurities and jealousy were hard to dig through, and often in his need for reassurance, Stiles only pushed Scott further away. He hated feeling as though he were competing for his brother’s attention, or becoming a burden. His distrust ruled him, too, finding Scott’s new friends hard to accept. “I just need some time first. I think he does, too.” Alexandria was already proving to be hard work, and there were far more people that needed Scott’s time and assistance. Stiles could fly solo until the dust settled, more than used to his own suffering. “He’s better equipped than everyone, that’s why he’s in such high demand.” Still, Rose had offered her own shoulder, so he wasn’t entirely alone. “We’ll fix it. I’ll — fix it. Just not yet.”

“And you didn’t feel like that before?” Stiles questioned, genuinely intrigued now. Not only was Rose feeling the lack; Dean was, too. Maybe they really did need their bonded counterparts to feel healthy. “I feel sick and tired all the time. Constantly, since I came back.” He nodded, feeling more motivated to find whoever the girl was now, so he could prove their hypothesis. Stiles also found himself wondering why there was distance between Rose and Wanda now, and if the reason related to his own experience with Caroline. Wanda didn’t seem like the unforgiving type, especially in consideration of the circumstances. They’d had no choice, after all. “We need to find out more about who we are. There’s gotta’ be more to us than automatic killing machines.”

“Apparently,” Stiles said, laughing at his own misfortune. His rebirth had been one mystery he hadn’t been able to resolve, yet, and it was driving him insane. He hated the uncertainty, the not knowing. If he could figure it out, he could help himself, and the others, too. Stiles was desperate for the connection that she was describing, so he could truly begin to decipher which issues stemmed from what. His species, his bonded partner, the pack, or his own personality. With so many emotions and voices in his mind, it was no wonder why he constantly felt strung out. 

Rose continued on with her explanation, but in a very sudden rush of fear and adrenaline, Stiles lost all focus. Her speech began to seemingly blur together, no longer understandable. The hands which she’d comfortingly held a moment ago began to viciously shake again, and despite his own confusion, Stiles was certain this wasn’t his own doing. Talking to Rose had eased his worries, and given him some clarity, so this could only be a result of one of the aforementioned stressors. His heart felt as though it were going to pound through his chest, and his saliva started to taste metallic. No, not metallic. It tasted like blood. 

“Rose -” Stiles reached for her, fingers erratically scraping along the table that separated them. By the time he’d gotten close, his vision was gone entirely. “Oh, fu —” His mind followed a second later, transported into that of someone else, and Stiles’ body fell sideward out of his chair, collapsing onto the floor below.

Rose pouted at the sarcasm, but refrained from rolling her eyes, used to it from him by now. Still, it was hard to tell how honest he was being underneath the attitude, thus how concerned she should be. She hadn’t known him for his whole life, after all. But considering the explanation that came after, Rose decided to trust in the sarcasm. Besides, she’d never seen him this jumpy before. Irritable, yes, but not visibly shaking for a prolonged period of time. “Are you talking about your… uh, ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ thing?” It was the softest way she could think of to word it. Rose had a feeling she was right, of course, but wanted total clarity to help get to the bottom of it. 

As if exampling that very same intuition, her suspicion about the continued rockiness of Scott and Stiles’ relationship proved true. Rose frowned, unsettled to hear it anyway, gaze full of concern. “Stiles… I know you probably think I’m full of shit most of the time, but I need you to listen to me now. You two have to work this crap out, stat. It’s not helping you, and I know without really knowing that it’s not good for him, either. Plus, you know he’d do anything for you. Everyone needs a Scott on their side, and you’re at like the top of his list, dude. Even if all this shit, whatever it is, was his fault, talk to him about this, or I swear to god, I will drag both your asses out and have some gross group therapy. Don’t push me.”

She sat back with a huff, feeling she was done saying her piece; but it suddenly dawned on her how it might’ve sounded. Rose didn’t want to seem like she wasn’t there for him at all. “— Wait, don’t get me wrong, okay, I’m not trying to palm off all the responsibility onto you two either. Of course you can talk to me, now and whenever, but I just -” She sighed, unsure how to word the lack of confidence she was currently feeling. “I just feel like he’s better equipped to handle this than me, or anyone. That goes for pretty much everything, actually. And he loves you a lot, so that’s a pretty good duo. That’s all I’m saying. And I’m done now, I swear, so if you wanna talk to me, I’ll shut up. I’m listening.”

Rose sighed, feeing it was safe to assume the Caroline thing had something to do with their surprise programming. “I know there’s so much shit we don’t know, and can’t confirm, but… ever since the Capitol, what they triggered in us… I haven’t been around Wanda much. At all, actually. But the longer I’m apart from her, I swear it’s like draining me. I’m exhausted, nauseous, sometimes. And she’s faded, you know? I just can’t feel her as close anymore. It wasn't like that before. Dean told me something similar once, and he’s been looking like real shit lately. He doesn’t know who his connection is either. So, we might be making it up, maybe it’s all coincidence, but maybe it’s not. We felt unwell, like, always in the Capitol.” She shrugged, feeling that sense of intuition again. “This is my roundabout way of asking if you’ve felt the same? Because maybe that’s how you work it out. The closer you are to them, the better you may feel.”

Her concerned gaze returned at hearing his questions, and without thinking about it, she’d instinctively reached out to hold the hand that still shook. “If it’s just you, then we’ll work that out. You’ve got so many people on your side, Stiles, you’re not going to be alone in this. Besides, you’re famous for working things out, right?” At his next question, Rose sat back in thought, having not really thought about it like that. “I guess, in a few ways, yes. Like for the distance thing, I reckon it helps. Does for me, anyway. Also, I guess you automatically become the person who knows them best, so if you get all these foreign emotions, you know there’s something up and can then help get rid of it, so you feel better, too. Does that make sense?”

[dykedvonte]

Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.

The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.

It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.

In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.

[humanmorph]

"This is a message to you, who listens. You must trust me, because we are friends. You just don't know it yet. "

(The Road to PARTIZAN 05 : Ech0 & dusk to midnight)

currently halfway through PARTIZAN (making my way towards palisade extremely slowly. see u guys there in a month or two) & this is to date my favourite intro Austin has done. what an great introduction to an extremely cool character

[mightgetsomewhere]

I genuinely can’t fathom how people who have never had a problem with food (restricting AND overeating because both are serious issues) view it. Like tf do you mean you get hungry after two hours? One of my siblings is onto me because I went like 6 hours without eating but like…that was because I wasn’t hungry???? On the flip side, I’ve noticed that I just keep fucking eating when everyone else has stopped. Free breadsticks at Olive Garden? I’ll eat them until they’re gone. Need something to do at a party? I’ll get seconds even though I’m not really hungry. I was never really an emotional eater aside from a few hatred-induced binges last semester at college, but I’m definitely a bored eater. Combine that with the fact that my parents don’t cook, so the occasional meals I had with my family all together were fast food/restaurant food, AND that all other nights, I was left to rummage with no supervision through the pantry to eat processed food in front of the TV/my phone for dinner, it’s a miracle I didn’t get fatter sooner.

[ohmylcve]

He had questions, many of them. How could he not? Inside Verona's mind, she was sure he would have so many, but she wasn't so sure if he would actually ask. If he would be willing to know the raw truth of Verona's past. The whole pressure of convincing him was getting on her nerves, as if it were an obligation rather than a simple story she could choose not to tell. Of course, she had the choice, but choosing not to tell meant losing him, and that isn’t something she’s willing to do. Verona has never told this story to anyone. She’s had multiple lovers before, who left once they discovered her marriage. She also had ones who knew about her marriage—but those usually came for her flesh, not for her soul. Not a single person knew the entire story, because truth be told: no one mattered this much to her.

Though she was willing to speak, to go on and on about how she’s stuck in a situation she’s not willing to get out of, she hates that she’s compelled to do so. Verona would rather be in a bed, late at night, after a few glasses of white wine, spilling words like she accidentally spills her drink, when she’s not controlling herself. In this very moment, she wishes time travel were possible, just so she could go back and be able to tell this story the way he deserves to hear it.

Ali’s whole body betrays him: the clenched jaw, the closed fists... it’s almost as if he’s about to start a fight, and she knows that this very moment is one for him. He’s fighting himself, he’s fighting against her, but also... he’s fighting with her. And she’s battling to understand what it is that truly hurts him: is it the lie itself? No... once she realized that the words are mere objects to hide the true pain inside. So what was that pain? Scavenging through every word, through every silence, Verona finds herself eager to discover what it is that he’s hiding behind his thick and yet trembling walls.

She does so until he reveals his secret—one he might not have revealed if it wasn’t for this huge misunderstanding between them, just like the story she would’ve never told. After all, this was entirely about vulnerability. Hers, his. About how neither of them could deal with that. But more than that... it was about Ali. About how he never opened up this way to someone; not only did she feel that while in his sheets, but she acknowledges the truth of it by his mere state. "Oh, for fuck’s sake!" The entire control she held until now felt like it was shattered by his fear. She was still defeated, still felt like she needed to convince him, but she was tired. Tired of listening to him blabber on about what he thought, rather than hearing her say it. "If you're too much of a coward to deal with how much we feel, you might as well leave," she fires, guessing her entire face is as red as her hair. "I could’ve lied about so many things. So many! I could’ve faked how I felt, but I don’t take you for a fool. I know you can read people more than I can understand, so I know you’ve read me and you felt the truth in every touch. Mine or yours. You felt it, and if you can't admit that to yourself, then go. Because if you’re here to throw your truths at me, I am not interested in this conversation at all." With a deep breath, she takes a sip of her drink, allowing the anger and irritation to fill her body. What is that pain of hers, then? Clear as day, it popped into her head: he’s knowing me before I can show up to him, just like Viego did.

As the trigger was identified, Verona finishes her glass of wine, forgetting her manners and wiping her mouth with her sleeve. "I could've lied about my name. Have you ever thought about that?" she begins, her gaze meeting his, silently challenging him to keep up. "I’ve had my fair share of affairs, but you were the only one who got my full name right. Verona Quinn." Lowell, she knows. But that's not her name, not the one she claims, not the one she's known for. "My maiden name is my full name." With a slow breath, she looks away, tears rising as she reminds herself that she is the one who built her empire. Not Viego. Her.

"I have no idea how you felt. Not a single glimpse of comprehension," she begins, calmer than before, as if the storm she threw was nothing more than necessary to bring her back to herself. "And I never will. Nothing I can say will change the fact that I’ve hurt you a lot, I’m well aware of it." Confidence blending with her words, as if both were merely colors she was merging to create a new one. "But I do have my reasons for acting the way I did. Nothing will justify the pain you're feeling, so if you're looking for that, again, you might as well just leave." Still able to hold his gaze, she continued. "I am Verona Quinn, for what it matters. I live as Verona Quinn, I EXIST as Verona Quinn." Emphasizing existence, she knows the core of what she's about to say lies there. "I never lied to you because I was dragging you into my mess. For me, it was never a lie, because the life I live is already one." Admitting it to herself out loud hurts more than she expects, and afraid she might stop in the middle of it, she continues, faster than before, but with as much intention. "Forget social conventions for a while, and think of our last walk through the streets of Venice, Ali. I can imagine how confusing that might be for you, that we've felt that much and yet I am married. I can assure you, in this marriage, there's no love. Nothing like we have, not even close." Her gaze turned into a searching one, as if she was trying to find the small piece that held both of them together inside of him. Her hands, on top of his tightened ones, slowly moved to open them, to grab his hands while she kept talking. "I gave you my all. I never gave you lies, no, not in my perspective. What I did was open up my chest, to grab my heart, and put it inside your hands. These very ones." She says it softer, a childish smile quickly making its appearance and then leaving as she recalls the information that once left his lips: I've killed for less than what you did to me. Then, lifting her eyes to meet his gaze, she adds, feeling her throat close in anxiety for his answer to what she's about to ask. "Will you crush it, or will you keep it?"

Ali’s thoughts swirled in a tempest of contradiction. He wasn’t sure which stung more—the raw truth of Verona’s words or the realization that he had come here, into her world, unarmed with anything but his own vulnerabilities. Vulnerabilities he despised. Vulnerabilities that, for the first time in years, he couldn’t hide from himself. Her gaze, unwavering and penetrating, stripped him bare in ways no interrogation or battlefield had ever managed. It was excruciating. It was intoxicating. For so long, Ali had conditioned himself to avoid moments like these. To bypass the chaos of human emotion and live within the neat, controlled lines of precision and purpose. Chaos belonged out there—on the job, in the face of danger, where his body and mind could cut through it like a scalpel. Not here. Not in the eyes of someone who made him feel exposed, seen, and, worst of all, uncertain. He hated uncertainty. And yet, as Verona questioned him—her voice steady but her breathing betraying her—he didn’t feel in control anymore. His carefully constructed walls, reinforced by years of discipline and detachment, buckled under the weight of her honesty. The vulnerability in her words was almost unbearable. He wasn’t sure if it was anger, regret, or something far messier that churned in his chest, but it clawed at him like a caged animal. What did he want to know? Did he even know? Her question hung in the air like smoke, suffocating him as much as it compelled him to answer. He clenched his jaw, fighting the instinct to retreat, to end the conversation with an abrupt exit and return to the comfort of isolation. But he stayed. For reasons he didn’t fully understand, he stayed.

“Start with why,” he said, his voice steady but lacking its usual coldness. It almost felt foreign to hear it. His own words sounded sharper than he intended, but Ali didn’t soften them. He couldn’t. Not when his mind was flooded with fragments of memories—brief moments of trust, of closeness, that now felt tainted by betrayal and lies. Not when he wasn’t sure if he wanted to forgive her or punish her for the way she made him feel. For the way she still made him feel. He hated the way his heart raced as she took a step closer. Hated the way he noticed every detail—the slight quiver in her lips, the tension in her shoulders, the way her eyes searched his, not for forgiveness but for understanding. Hated how much he wanted to give it to her, even when he wasn’t sure she deserved it. The truth, he realized, was that he wasn’t here for closure. He wasn’t here for answers. He was here because, against all reason, he couldn’t stay away. And that terrified him more than anything. Ali’s hands tightened into fists at his sides, his nails digging into his palms as he struggled to steady himself. The air between them felt thick, charged with all the words left unsaid, all the truths she had buried and he had clawed at only to uncover too late. He stared at her now, his mind a battlefield of emotions he couldn’t afford to indulge: anger, betrayal, longing. Why had she lied? Why had she pulled him into her orbit, knowing all along she had another life—a life she’d hidden while weaving herself so deeply into his? Ali’s voice, when it came, was low and deliberate. Every word felt like a sharp-edged weapon, carefully aimed but impossible to dull.

“Do you have any idea what it felt like,” he began, his tone measured but barely masking the storm beneath, “to find out the way I did? To look into the life you kept hidden and realize I wasn’t just a part of it—I was your secret?” His gaze was fixed on hers, unrelenting. Her eyes, so often a mystery, were now a mirror, reflecting the weight of his words back at him. But Ali couldn’t stop. He’d held this inside for too long, and the dam was cracking. “You say you weren’t playing with me,” he continued, his voice hardening, “but what else would you call it? You didn’t just lie, Verona. You let me believe there was nothing else. No one else. And I—” He cut himself off, the words catching in his throat. He didn’t want to admit what he had given her, what he had felt for her, not when it still ached like an open wound. His breath hitched as he forced himself to calm down, to rein in the chaos she had unleashed inside him. Ali prided himself on control, on precision. But she had dismantled that so easily, with her truths and half-truths, with the world she’d built for herself while leaving him in the dark. “I’ve killed for less than what you did to me,” he said softly, his voice a dangerous whisper. “Do you know that?” The cat was official out of the bag, and Ali didn't even realize he just let out a big secret. That's how crazy he was about her. That's how mad she made him. “And still,” he said, softer now, the anger bleeding into something rawer, something vulnerable, “I came here. I needed to hear it from you. Why you lied. Why you didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth.” He paused, his gaze locking onto hers again, searching for something—remorse, regret, an answer. Anything to explain why she had taken what he’d offered her and broken it so completely. “Did any of it mean anything to you? Or was I just the escape you needed until you went back to your real life?”

[starlene]

starting to feel really complicated about the upcoming Finnish production of Moulin Rouge!