#yet it is perfectly clear that Eddie and Buck belong in the other’s home and that it’s their home too

[ktinastrikesback]

Just got an instant headache thinking about “Maybe you should go home first” versus everything that happened in 6x12

[diazevans]

wherever we're standing, I won't take you for granted (cause we'll never know when we'll run out of time)

It's not the first time Eddie has been hurt on the job, and it's not going to be the last, but this time it was so close. One second he was just behind Buck and the next, the building was collapsing and Eddie was just not there. He doesn't remember much after it, only that Bobby and Chimney had hold him back from running straight back there and that an eternity later, they had pulled Eddie from the ground, with just a few scratches here and there.

Buck had not being able to calm himself down for a long while, not even with Eddie's reassuring words against his head, not even with his arms around him.

or

Eddie is in danger and it puts a lot of things on perspective for Buck.

READ ON AO3

Today has not been easy.

Buck is used to being the one running straight to the fire, to doing things first and asking later, because that's just the person he is. No natural disaster or bombs would ever take that away from him, not ever. It doesn't mean he is not careful, he is, especially now that he has Christopher and Eddie to come back home to, but it's just part of his job. He knows that his boyfriend understands that, so it's logical that Buck would also rationalize that sometimes, Eddie has to behave the same way.

His brain, apparently, did not get the memo.

It's not the first time Eddie has been hurt on the job, and it's not going to be the last, but this time it was so close. One second he was just behind Buck and the next, the building was collapsing and Eddie was just not there. He doesn't remember much after it, only that Bobby and Chimney had hold him back from running straight back there and that an eternity later, they had pulled Eddie from the ground, with just a few scratches here and there.

Buck had not being able to calm himself down for a long while, not even with Eddie's reassuring words against his head, not even with his arms around him.

When he comes back to himself, the anxiety still doesn't leave him. He feels too big for his own skin and if there is the slightest space between his body and Eddie's, he is already moving towards him. Buck needs to feel him, to know he is alive and they both know there is nothing they can do until it passes on it's own. Eddie has told them he feels the same sometimes and in that moment, Buck had trouble understanding how it felt. Now? It's crystal clear.

As soon as their shift is over, they are already on their way home when Eddie asks him if he needs to pick Christopher from Abuela's. The kid is staying with her until tomorrow, considering that they had a double shift, but he understands why he asks. They haven't been officially together for long, but they have been family for a good while; they have rituals for these kind of situations. Some times, they stay around the station or go out for drinks with their friends. Other times, when nature and accidents have taken apart families in front of they eyes, they both need to hold Christopher extra tight to their chests, to remember how lucky they are. In other occasions, what they really need is each other.

Buck is quick in shaking his head, because it's one of those times.

The rest of the ride is silent, staying in that way while they take their things inside of their home.

He is on Eddie as soon as the door is closed.

Eddie is not surprised, by the way he kisses him back with the same intensity, letting him press his body against the door. Buck needs him, needs to feel his beating heart against his hands and there is no more time to lose and his blood flowing in his veins. Eddie is alive and the only way that Buck is going to be convinced of it is when he feels him falling apart around him.

Eddie screaming his name in pleasure is the only way Buck's soul will come back to him.

Later, when they are both too tired to move and finally lying on their bed, Buck's mind still refuses to turn off. Eddie is lying content in his chest, happy to have his hair played with, but he let's him figure out his thoughts in peace. He is not sure what is taking him so long to get over and even when he knows it's different now that they are together, it's not like he didn't worry sick about Eddie when they worked. But now they have… They have so much more. They get to come back home together, to have a family together and there is still so much more they don't get yet and still, Buck could have lost everything in a second.

And that puts everything in perspective. He almost wants to punch himself for taking so long to figure it out.

And is not the fact that he almost lost the love his life today, but somehow it feels like it is . They could lose each other at any moment and Buck is tired of waiting. He wants to be with Eddie in every way he can imagine, do everything they can do, before they run out of time. It’s never going to be enough time.

He knows Eddie is awake when he presses a quick kiss to his temple, by the way that a little pleased sound comes out of his lips. If he was ever nervous about this, that little thing seems to calms absolutely every part of him.

It's so easy to say it. And mean it.

“Marry me.” It’s a whisper, but loud enough for his boyfriend to hear. He feels Eddie go rigid in his arms, but far from scaring him, it only makes him hold him tighter, preventing his boyfriend from moving. There are still things he has to say, to make him understand. “I don’t want to waste another moment where I am not your husband, when I don’t get to call you mine in every way I can." His hand continues to move his hand in the other's hair, feeling the corners of his mouth turning up already. "Marry me, Eddie."

The man he loves is strong, so it's pointless to still try to keep him from turning around. He is surprised and yeah, Buck recognizes in the way his eyes are so soft that it's talking everything on him to not move forward to kiss him.

"Evan." Eddie speaks in the same tone he did, quiet and worried to break the moment they are in. “You are scared.”

“Yeah Eddie, I’m fucking scared.” There is no point in denying it, mostly because he knows Buck probably better than he knows himself, but he is sure they are not talking about the same thing. One of his hands moves towards Eddie's cheek, brushing it with his finger. “I’m scared that if something happened to you today, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I didn’t tell how sure I am of this. Of us. ”

He has never being sure of anything more than this. That no matter how much time he has left, this is his place, beside Eddie and Christopher and any other kid that comes in their way. This is where he belongs, the love he wants to build. And he knows Eddie feels the same, by the way he is trying to collect himself by looking at the ceiling. "You are it for me, Eddie.  You and Christopher are it for me.”

There are a couple of moments filled with silence, but Buck is perfectly happy on giving him all the time he needs while he rubs his cheek. When Eddie's eyes focus on him again, they are so bright that they take his breath away.

“I was saving…”  The beginning of the sentence makes him chuckle.

“For marriage? Buddy, I think that ship has sailed…” To prove a point, he looks in between them, to where they are still clearly naked under the light sheet.

It earns him a smack on the head, what does nothing for his laugh, but it stops as soon as he hears Eddie's voice again. “For a ring, dumbass.”

It takes him a few seconds to feel anything apart from.the loud beat of his heart. Eddie had thought of marrying him and even when he knew, when there was no doubt in his mind that he was loved with the same intensity he loved Eddie, it was still something that made him blush like a schoolgirl.

“Really?”

Eddie must think it's amusing, because he has that cocky grin on him, the one he always uses him when he thinks he is being clever. “Really.”

It occurs to him that he is so flustered by Eddie's revelation that he still hasn't asked for an answer. “Is that a yes then?” He feels a little bit dumb, but Eddie's smile turns sincere and that is so worth it.

His boyfriend moves forward, cradling Buck's face in his hands before he kisses him, softly and lingering. Like a promise. “It’s a hell yeah.”