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quirklessidiot · 4 years ago

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Title: coward :: brat Pairing: Y/N x Miya Atsumu Genre: angst, romance, and very slow burn [ex to lovers au] Warnings: Cursing, alchohol, mentions of unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, and mentions of abortion

Synopsis: you finally see Miya Atsumu after six years, meanwhile, he feels pain when he realizes that you settled down with someone else that wasn’t him. notes: i um want to thank yall for supporting this story im- crying T-T I’m happy to inform everyone that i’ll be updating this twice a week every monday and saturday! yay!!! i was able to finish editing and im writing the last two chapters now. stay safe and big love to each and everyone of you <3

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“...Uh, Youta-Kun, Yuuto-kun, I thought you guys weren’t allowed to go.” Sugawara laughed nervously, knowing all too well where this would lead. He’s familiar with over-enthusiastic boys, in fact, one of those over-enthusiastic balls of sunshine was here right now entertaining them.

“K-Kaasan says it’s alright.” Yuuto lies but Sugawara quirked his brow, it was so obvious that he was lying.

“Yep, she did!” Youta grins, trying to help his twin but like him, he’s failing drastically.

“Then you won’t mind if I call your okaasa-”

“No!” Youta and Yuuto yell in unison. This made other people turn their way, Miya Atsumu watched the pair in amusement from afar. He noticed that they were late and that Sugawara had caught on to their scheme of joining in even without the parental consent, “We won’t join!” Youta proclaims, “Right, yu? W-We’ll pick up balls!”

Hinata feels his eyes glimmer at those words and decides to help them convince Sugawara but in the end, the twins were forced to be benched while the grey-haired teacher had to go back to the faculty to call you.

“It’s alright,” Hinata ruffles both their hairs, “We’ll try to come back next time and I’ll be sure to help convince your ‘kaasan.”

“Hey don’t plant false ideas in their head, Shoyou.” Atsumu grins, lazily jogging to their side. He directs his gaze to the twins that seem to oddly remind him of him and ‘samu when they were younger. The boy's gaze lingered a bit too long on him,unlike other kids who stared at him in awe, these ones were seething, “What are ya lookin’ at, kid?”

“Wow,you’re as mean as your brother.” Yuuto notes, eyeing him up and down.

“Yeah.” Youta echoes.

Atsumu quirks a brow, this was quite the new reaction. Never in his life had a kid told him that he was mean as ‘Samu also how did they even know his twin brother?

“Now, now, don’t you think you should cut me some slack?” Atsumu tried to jokebut the twins remained unamused by the blonde’s antics, somehow Atsumu felt a sense of familiarity from their monotonous reactions.

“No thanks.” Yuuto crossed his arms, “The fake Atsumu made ‘kaasan cry and since you look like him, you might make ‘kaasan cry too.”

“What he said!” Youta agreed loudly, copying his older brother’s action.

Atsumu was just plain confused now, he admitted that Osamu had an attitude sometimes when he was annoyed but letting a mom cry in front of her kids? That’s definitely new and not-so ‘samu like (after all, he was apparently the nicer one between them)

“What’s the name of your okaasan-”

“Youta-Kun, Yuuto-kun, Your mom will be picking you up at the gate! Please go there now.” Sugawara cuts him off, Youta and Yuuto stand up and eye him for a bit.

“We’ll defeat you and your brother! Just wait and see, we’ll be as big as you and that other jiji!” Yuuto exclaims and before Atsumu could retaliate, they’re running off to the opposite direction. Hinata was laughing beside him, clutching his sides because apparently he was too petty while Sugawara looked at him with an apologetic expression.

“I wonder why L/N-san didn’t allow them to go, she’s usually very supportive of their hobbies, especially volleyball.” Sugawara frowns, suddenly voicing out his thoughts. Atsumu felt his shoulders stiffen at the sound of that familiar name.

Osamu revealed he saw you last week then these kids suddenly confessed that his twin made their okaasan cry, he’s never seen you cry throughout your relationship (save for that night when you first me but you guys weren't together yet so that didn’t count). Maybe he was mistaken? it might be your relative or a common name.

After all, you were clear about not wanting a family.

“You know their mom well?” Hinata inquired, Atsumu seems to be listening closely now, wanting to confirm if the person that Sugawara was talking about is you.

“Oh yeah, we're around the same age so I’m much closer to her than the other moms.” Sugawara blinks, “Those boys have to listen to their okaasan more. She’s raising them on her own since their dad died before he even got to know that L/N-san was pregnant. She seemed to be longing for him whenever he’s mentioned.”

A crease appeared on the blonde's forehead as he was suddenly in deep thought. It couldn’t be, right?

“Uh, Sugawara-san, may I know the name of the mom? Her last name sounds kind of familiar.” he questions, pretending to be nonchalant but inside, he feels like he had his heart on his throat.

If it was you, he’d feel those things that he desperately tried to hide behind his confident jokes and laughs.

The pain.

The pain that you chose someone else and was open enough to the idea of starting a family. If that guy probably hadn’t died, you’d be together, happily raising those boys he had just met a while ago. Happily married, something that Atsumu tried to mention one fleeting moment while you were together back in college but you immediately shut the idea down and left him a month later.

The pain that you fell in love in a span of moments unlike Atsumu who relentlessly tried to gain your favour and follow you around like a lost puppy.

“Oh, her name’s Y/N L/N.”

Thankfully nothing unexpected happened after what the twins did, they ended up having to pick if they wanted their video game rights removed for a week or cancel their plans with their favorite ojisan who was coming by a few weeks from now, they chose the first one on that.

They had even mentioned that they met the real Miya Atsumu and although you felt like your heart lurched out of your chest and your shoulders stiffen at the mention of that man --- their father--- they simply had called him a rude jiji like his brother much to your relief.

“L/N-san, we seem to have a problem.” Aiko frowned, handing the papers to you, “The director of the advertisement department wants a bigger budget, do you mind running it through him again? You have to go to the studio though, I heard they’re doing some photo shoot now.”

You nodded in reply, taking the papers from your co-worker. The studio was a bit far so you ended up having to commute to get there, “What a nuisance.” You muttered, you needed to buy a second-hand car soon when you had enough money. It would definitely be easier for both you and the boys, “Uh excuse me? Is Nakamura-san here?” you asked the secretary on the front desk.

“And who are you?” the secretary snapped back, still typing away on her computer.

“Y/N L/N from the finance department, I have to run through the new budget liquidation with him.”

The secretary one-eyes you and the ID on your neck for a split second, “You better be quick, the boss wants only five minutes per guest since he’s personally handling the shoot today.” was all she replied, handing you the pass. You muttered a quick thank you and made your way up to the studio, whoever the model was today, they must’ve been big for Nakamura to handle them personally.

“Oh-ho, is that who I think it is?” a very, very familiar voice calls out.

“Inunaki-san.” You greeted, trying to maintain yourself, were these the big clients that Nakamura was handling? The black jackals? good fucking gracious, god must hate you.

“Wow,” he shakes his head, feigning amusement, “You’re still so calm and cool.”

You narrowed your eyes at the insult but you waved it off, “And you’re playing for a national team, congratulations.” you replied in a blank tone, your senior probably knew what happened between you and his fellow member. You wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if he reacted the same way as Osamu did.

“We’re actually doing a shoot now, would you like me to call Atsu-”

“No.” your usual calm tone switched to a colder one, “I’m working now and so is Miya-san, please don’t bother yourself.”

“Gee,” he raised his hands, signalling defeat, “Just say you don’t want to see him. You don’t need to be so cold to me, my dear little kohai.”

“I have to go back to my job, I’m on the clock here.” You ignored his previous statement, “It was nice seeing you again Inunaki-san.”

Before you could give him a chance to reply, you headed towards the studio. You took a deep breath and mentally calculated to three.

one.

It’s been six years, Miya Atsumu would ignore you. He wouldn’t care about the girl who left him out to dry in college. He’s got a girlfriend now, a model who has legs for days and looks ten times better than you and acts more like a girlfriend than you ever did.

two.

Yes, that’s right, he wouldn’t care.

three.

You entered the studio, you could feel the air tighten around you as soon as you heard that laughter. The one you used to hear everyday and never get tired of. For all the laughs you couldn’t do, he’d do it for you and boy, was he patient around you since you didn’t smile a lot back then (who were you kidding? until now you still had the same problem except when the kids were around)

You want to stop and stare, you want to admire him and his glory that you were very much proud of.

Yet your legs continue to carry you to your boss, the laughter seems to have ceased and you could hear someone asking him what was wrong.

“Oh, L/N-san?” Nakamura greeted you, “You’re here for the renewal of the budget?”

You nodded feverishly, your legs seem to be turning into jelly because you want to collapse from the nervousness and thank god that you wore some make-up before arriving here, otherwise, they would’ve noticed how pale you looked, “Everything seems to be in order,” He nods, scanning the sheets and handing them back to you, “Are you busy right now?”

You glanced at the wall clock, checking the time to see if you could extend your stay and Nakamura is quick to pick up on it, “Ah right, you’ve got kids to pick up. It’ll be quick, just help set up the blocks there and you’re free to leave.” he orders.

You nodded obediently and slowly turned to the side only to catch the very familiar chocolate brown eyes of the blonde. You feel your heart hammering in your chest and your feet turn cold, it had been six years since you last saw Miya Atsumu and he was still as winsome and exhilarating as he was back then.

You may have seen him a lot on television but seeing him, right here, a few feet away from you was different. Taking in a big gulp of air, you started working on the set-up as quickly as you could yet you could still feel his burning gaze remaining on you, “Tsum-tsum, lay off her will you.” came Inunaki Shion’s loud voice snaps him out of his daze.

Great, that little twat had to make an appearance.

“Y/N-san you should really say hi,” Inunaki teased as soon as you finish your set-up.

“Oh? You’re Y/N L/N?” the orange one gushed, quickly up on his feet, you recall him as Hinata Shoyou, Youta’s favorite orange-haired ninja, “Sugawara-san’s friend?”

You hesitantly nodded, “Oh, you know her Sho-kun?” Shion asked, seemingly amused by it all.

“What are you all crowding here for, Hinata?” Another asked, peering in them closely. This one must’ve been Bokuto, another favorite of Yuuto.

“Sugawara-san’s friend! she’s the mother of those two boys in the training camp who had to go home early!” he suddenly turns to you and then grins, “Ne, ne, the boys really seem to want to attend one of those. Why don’t you allow them to join us-”

“Forget it, Hinata.” Atsumu suddenly speaks out, that warm voice that you were accustomed to seemed cold and menacing now, “She won’t allow it.”

Shion notices the tension between you two and when he’s about to usher the energetic duo away back to the dressing room along with the other members, you let out a quiet sigh and spoke out, “I was on my way to leave, please don’t bother yourselves.” You simply replied, you didn’t waver and stared at him dead in the eye, this could be the moment to end it all and cut ties with him officially, “I apologize for what I did back then, Miya-san. I should’ve told it to you in person. I offer my sincere congratulations to you for making it this far.”

The blonde clenched his jaw, it seemed like he wanted to say something to you yet when he realizes the usual calm and collected demeanor you're putting up, he decides against it and leaves you alone by storming away first.

Hinata and the guy named Bokuto looked at you --- completely puzzled and lost like a deer in the headlights --- before following the blonde, “You truly are in a whole ‘nuther level, Y/N.” Shion whistles, “Heard you’ve got two boys now though. Congrats, where's the poor bastard?”

You continue to watch the back of Atsumu Miya. Finally, it seemed like he’d left you alone and probably for good this time, “Gone, off to a better place.” was all you replied.

Inunaki notices the longing in your voice, a completely unfamiliar emotion he had never seen back then even when you and Atsumu were together. It seemed like you and Atsumu were both the poor bastards in the end.

Miya Atsumu sleeps alone that night.

He doesn’t call his girlfriend back despite the several missed calls, he doesn’t reply to the unanswered text of his brother and his teammates. All he feels is pain tonight, pain because of your very dry apology, pain because of your bland expression. Pain because you didn’t seem to care like that time six years ago.

He shuts his eyes tight and he feels as if he’s back in college, back to that winter night where he received that dreaded phone call from you after you disappeared from him. He remembered those days clearly, your apartment had been cleaned out and paid for, you weren’t answering him on social media, your phone line was also unresponsive and he couldn’t even call your family since you never mentioned anything about them at all.

You both may have been intimate for the past two years but when you disappeared, he had the frightening realization that he didn’t know you at all.

He didn’t want to push you out of your comfort zone, he wanted you to lead the relationship but right at that moment, he wished he pried just a bit since he was worried about you.

Then in the midst of his anxiety, it came, that phone call.

“Atsumu.” your usual calm voice filled his ears and he suddenly feels the weight of the world is removed from his shoulders, thank god you were okay.

“Y/N? Baby? Where are you?”

“Out.”

“Where outside exactly?” Miya Atsumu dryly asks, “It’s cold, you shouldn’t be out now and wandering about. Would you like me to pick you up-”

“I can’t do this anymore.” you suddenly cut him off and the line goes quiet. The blonde feels the world around him quiet down too when he hears those words that he wished he heard wrong.

“What’s, what’s wrong? Y/N, are you alright?”

“I don’t know,” You mutter, “I’m just tired.”

“Tired of what exactly?”

“Of you, of us…”

“Y/N, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Yes.” Your voice remained dead calm as if you just hadn’t broken his heart in a million pieces that moment, “Let’s stop this here now, Atsumu. Let’s break-up.”

“That’s…” He tries to keep the mood light, praying that this is one of your dark jokes, “That’s not funny, Y/N.”

“It’s not supposed to be since it’s not a joke.”

Your response was curt as usual and he doesn’t know whats worse, the fact that you’re breaking up over the phone or the fact that your tone remains stable and the same.

“Y/N, don’t do this...Baby don’t do this over the phone.” His tone seemed desperate at this point, “I’m not stopping this until you tell me what's wrong between us, you have to give me something to work with Y/N. Is it something I did?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean ya don’t know?” Atsumu started to raise his tone when he notices how unaffected you seem at the other line.Frustration slowly started to bubble in him, the accent turning thicker as he got angrier, “Y/N ya can’t just disappear out of the blue and call me one day and tell me you want to break up! Do you think I’m some sort of fling? Some one-night stand or fuck buddies? We’ve been together for two years, Y/N. Two whole fucking years, What’s wrong? Do you not love me anymore?”

“Yes.”

The line went dead silent again and he hates it, he doesn’t know what to say as his face contorts in sadness and confusion.

“I don’t…” He starts to feel a lump grow on his throat when he hears how easy it was for you to say, he knew he was in love with you more than you were with him. Many had pointed out how dangerous and how painful it would be on his side in the end, he couldn’t believe it would hurt him this much, “ I don’t fucking believe you, say it right at my face. Where the hell are ya? Let’s talk this one out in person.”

“Don’t bother, I just don’t want to see you again.”

“Y/N you can’t just-”

“I can and I will.” You cut him off, your voice was growing more and more detached and he feels like he’s back to that moment two years ago where you didn’t spare him a glance and treated him like a scrub, he hears a hefty sigh on your side and the next few words is another bullet to his heart, “I’m sorry it had to end this way, Atsumu.”

“You…” he shakily replied, trying to mask his grief with a painful chuckle. He wants to be mad at you, he wants to yell at you but for some odd reason, he couldn’t bring himself to, “Jesus christ, you really are something, Y/N. You just broke my heart over the the fucking phone and all you could do is say sorry?”

“Sorry.” you say, like a broken-record on repeat and he hates it. He hates how he feels like this was nothing for you.

“Don’t you dare say that again when you don’t mean it-” He spat and before he could finish what he had to say, the phone line went dead. He tried to call again but it seemed like you had used a payphone. Out of complete vexation, he hurls his phone right across the room towards the blue photo frame with the both of you in it.

The sound of broken glass shards and ragged breathing is the only thing heard in the quiet apartment.

It’s not even the peak of winter that night yet he feels so numb and cold.

taglist [closed]

@fortheloveofiwaizumi ; @svtbitch ; @ryaaaax ; @kiyoomile ; @lovedanii @juno-multifandom ; @gyubit17 ; @saeranoppa ; @nixxona ; @kyomihann @shorttstackk ; @itsmattsunshinehere ; @missingmystogan ; @Etherynaw ; @volleybloop ; @imcravingyou ;

#haikyu!! fanfics #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu imagine #atsumu imagines #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu angst #miya atsumu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #coward series

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seungstarss · 3 years ago

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HI SEI

omfg i just read the latest updates of recall and?? ⁉️⁉️🤨 GIRL WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG W U????? NAURRRR COS MY HEART IS ACTUALLY BREAKING RN THIS IS SO NOT OK 😭😭 I JUST WANT YNWON TO BE HAPPY AND IK I WAS EXCITED ABT FINDING OUT THE REST OF THE PLOT BUT LIKE??? U LITERALLY SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET BC I TOTALLY DIDNT EXPECT ANY OF THAT AT ALL ARE U KIDDING????? OH EM JAYYYYY RECALL IS SO FUCKING GOOD ITS LITERALLY AMAZING BUT MY HEAD IS IN MY HANDS AND IM SHAKING IM QUIVERING IM ON MY KNEES BEGGING FOR A HAPPY ENDING BUT KNOWING U……….

ON A SRS NOTE THO I FUCKING L O V E RECALL!!! SEI how the FUCK did u come up w this like are u joking??? UR BRAIN??? >>>> UGH i’m in love w the storyline like it’s actually so so interesting and i’m just in luv w how nuanced ur characters are :< they all have their backstories and motivations and reasoning behind their decision making which makes it so so immersive to read??? IVE HONESTLY ENJOYED READING EVERY SINGLE ONE OF UR CHARACTERS SO FAR??? all of yn’s friends are so so supportive and cute and bring sm energy to an otherwise angsty asf fic ,, jungwons friends r also legit so cute in their own way and can we talk abt the antagonists too like ????? YURI ???? REI????? THE WAY WE HAVENT EVEN FINISHED THE STORY YET BC NOW IM WONDERING WHAT PART YURI HAD IN THE ACCIDENT TOO???? ICB UVE ONLY REVEALED A PART OF WHAT HAPPENED (ALBEIT A BIG PART) AND THERE R STILL 5 MORE CHAPTERS TO GO??? MOMMY COME PICK ME UP IM FUCKING SCARED IM ACTUALLY QUAKING RN 😭😭 BUT HOLY CRAP SEI I RLYL RLLY RLLY RLLY CANT PRAISE U ENOUGH BC BFFIE U ARE DOING THE BESTEST JOB EVER??? I LOGE THE PLOT THE CHARACTERS THE TEXTS THE MEMES THE PACE OF THE PLOT AND THE WAY U GIVE LITTLE CLUES WITHOUT REVEALING TOO MUCH??? UGHHH URE ACTUALLY TOO GOOD AT THIS 😭💗💗

YNWON ARE SO FUCKING TRAGIC. like the fact they secretly liked each other and were super duper close and did everything w each other was CUTE enough, only for yn to find out jungwons secret :( tbf, i’m sure his fake reputation was already in the making before they met (unless i’m dumb and got the timeline mixed up), so it’s not like he could’ve just randomly told her right :((( i mean ofc it would’ve been better to come clean ab it but i get it :((( it makes me so sad to think yn had been wiped of her memories and jungwon was left to toss up between wanting her to remember their best times and not wanting her to hate him all over again :<< THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD 😭😭 i’m actually so sad rn nobody talk to me,,,,, IT ACTYALLY BREAKS MY HEART TO THINK THAT YNWON CAN ONLY GET TGT IF SHE CAN SEE HIS GOOD AND HIS BAD SIDES AND ACCEPT HIM ENTIRELY FOR WHO HE IS??? I WONDER IF SHE CAN SEE PAST THIS ☹️ BUT YN MY LOVE ITS OK IF U DONT…. men aint shit anyway ig 🚶‍♀️

anyway recall 2/10; super interesting love the characters the plot is flawless but?? author is kinda whack and loves to hurt people ?? so yuhhh i’m gna subtract 8 points :>

OML MY FAV MAI!! I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL OH EM GEE🥺 I SAW YOUR REBLOGS AND I HAD SM FUN REAFING THEM STAHQGQJQ YOU ALWAYS GIVE ME SM SUPPORT THAT I DONT DESERVE 😭😭😭 BUT TY FOR ALWAYS GIVING ME THE CONFIDENCE TO KEEP WRITING AAAA

YES THE MYSTERY OF YN'S ACCIDENT IS FINALLY SOLVED 😭 IT WAS HIM ALL ALONG AND YEAH I BET YN IS FEELING CONFLICTED AS HELL RN LIKE 😭 I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE SOMEONE YOU CARED FOR SM JUST LYING TO YOU :"(((( BUT YESS JUNGWON DID HAVE THIS WHOLE IMAGE THING SET UP ALREADY WHEN HE MET YN :((( JW WAS DEF GOONG THROUGH HELL FLAMES WHEN HE WAS THE ONLY ONE LEFT WITH THE MEMORIES :( THAT'S WHY BOY WANTED TO STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM HER AS HE COULD,,,, BUT GOSH IT MUST'VE HURT LIKE SHIT TO LOSE SOMEONE WHEN IT WASNT YOUR INTENTION TO BUT IT WAS UR FAULT 😭😭😭 BUT YES 5 MORE CHAPTERS TO GO!! SO LETS SEE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT 😘😘

MuahHQHAHAH HURTING PEOPLE WUTH MY STORIES IS MY FAV GENRE 🤩

#PLS ILYSM #mai ☆#maiverie asks ♡#mutuals ଘ(੭˃ᴗ˂)੭ #— recall 𐀔

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star-and-the-motherverse · 4 years ago

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Chapter 3 - Earth and the Lost Soul

The Butterfly Who Lost Her Wings

Word Count: 3981 | AO3 Mirror | Previous | Next

Summary: Marco returns to Earth and sets out to right a wrong.

✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:* ☾ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

A rift in space opened up in the Diaz family’s living room. Marco emerged from it a second later, dimensional scissors in hand. He was exactly where he had intended to land, in the middle of his living room. But only when the portal had disappeared did he realize that he hadn’t fully thought that decision through.

His mother, Angie, immediately noticed his arrival from her standing place in the kitchen. “Marco, you’re home!”

A cold wave of dread washed over him as he caught sight of his mother’s unknowing smile. She threw her arms around him in a hug, but he was completely lost in his thoughts, dismayed by his realization. I’m going to have to be the one to break the news to everyone in Echo Creek…

“Welcome home.”

“Hi, mom.” Marco tried to politely excuse himself to his room, but Angie wasn’t about to let him go so easily.

“Did you get everything figured out with Star?” she asked, letting up on her grasp. “I know she didn’t leave on the best terms.”

He turned around slowly, opting to stare at the wall behind her instead of making eye contact. “Actually… can we talk about it later? I’m really tired.”

Unfortunately, Angie was smarter than that. “Is everything alright?”

“I’m tired,” he repeated. “I’m really, really tired.”

“Marco?” She could only repeat her son’s name as he turned his back and ascended the stairs without responding further. “Marco!”

He shut his bedroom door behind him, trying to listen through the door. When he was certain that his mother hadn’t followed him in an effort to demand answers, he slid down the wall to a seated position on the floor and sighed heavily, his exhaustion finally starting to catch up with him.

His phone in is pocket was being bombarded by incoming messages, now that he’d returned to a place with cell service. He remained there on the floor for several moments before he was able to convince himself to look through his notifications. There were a lot of unread messages from his friends, mostly Jackie. As he was attempting to read through them, he was bombarded by several new texts from Janna.

Janna: yo diaz

are u home yet?

u better answer me

Because of course Janna somehow knew that he was back on Earth. He supposed it really wasn’t all that surprising, once he thought about it. I’m not sure if I’m in the right headspace to put up with this right now…

Marco: Yeah I am, how did you know that?

Janna: not important

ur gf has been harassing me bc u werent responding

next time maybe give some notice before u disappear?

Guilt flooded over him. She had every right to be upset with him, as far as he was concerned. Everyone did. He was the one who left without notice, and aside from a parting message to Jackie—apparently she had still tried to contact him anyways—no one else in his immediate friend group had known where he was.

Marco: I’m really sorry

I didn’t mean to be gone as long as I was

Janna: save your sorries for your gf dude

u cant just disappear for a week w/o warning and pretend nothings changed. shes got every right to be mad if she is

i kinda do too, lucky for u im not the grudge holding type

did star come back with u or is she like staying on mewni or whatever

Marco collapsed backwards onto his bed, defeated. His phone fell out of his hand, currently of little concern to him, now that he was so lost in his thoughts. There’s just no escaping this, is there? Everything had always been about Star, and everything still was about Star. Just as suddenly as she had crashed into his life, she was gone, and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, about how the last thing she’d thought to do before disappearing in that explosion was to apologize.

A piece of his world had went with her, and he couldn’t help but feel that he was somehow responsible. There had to have been warning signs, right? Should he have done something differently, or done something sooner? “I hate this,” he murmured aloud, burying his face in his hands. “I hate this…”

Star probably hates this, too, he admitted inwardly. She always did everything in her power to be a positive force in people’s lives. The last thing she’d want is for everyone who cared about her to be moping around. I really hope she knew what she was getting herself into…

He finally spared another glance at his phone.

Janna: ???

Marco: Sorry

I don’t know if I want to talk about it right now, if that’s ok

Janna: yeah sure

if things are awkward between u two now thats ur business, not mine

jackie isnt mad at you fr that btw

Marco: For what?

Janna: uh

at the party?

Oh, right, Marco grimaced. Just before she left for Mewni—and subsequently vanished—Star had confessed her feelings for him in front of everyone at their end-of-the-school-year celebration. Even now, he still couldn’t help but hold some resentment towards her for how hasty that decision of hers had been, especially when she knew he was dating Jackie.

It was almost like she knew that was the last time she’d ever see him, and that her true feelings had been a weight on her chest that she could no longer bear to keep bottled up.

And yet, at the same time, his resentment felt unfair. He had no way of knowing when these feelings of hers had actually emerged, but Star never stopped trying to help him get Jackie’s attention. Even once they were finally dating, Star still went out of her way to include both of them in her lives however she could. As much heartache as it likely caused her, she must have valued their friendship over everything else, if she was able to force herself to put up with it for such a long time.

Conflicted feelings about Star aside, he still had overwhelmingly negative memories associated with that party. He preferred to forget about it where possible.

Marco: Gee, thanks for that, Janna

I’d almost forced that party out of my recent memory, but now it’s back.

Janna: sorry lol

Marco: Why would Jackie be mad at me about that? Star having feelings for me doesn’t change anything

Just wondering why you think that

Janna: i dont, im just repeating what she told me

and she told me she wasnt mad at u, sooo

i dont think shes mad at all tbh? that was a week ago anyways

go talk to her urself dude, im no therapist

Marco: Alright

Thanks, Janna

Janna: no prob

Though he did feel a bit guilty for withholding the truth of the situation from Janna, he swore to himself that he’d be honest about what really happened as soon as he felt able to. Janna was a mixed bag, and even though they were friends—at least, I think we’re friends?—he had no idea how she was going to take the information. He wanted to give himself time to come to terms with it all before trying to explain it to his and Star’s friends.

He had some things he needed to take care of, first. There was someone that he needed to apologize to, more than anything. Hopefully she was home.

His door creaked open, and he slowly made his way back down the staircase. His mother looked up from the book she was reading on the couch, her eyes lighting up with concern. “Marco?”

“I’m gonna go see Jackie,” he said quietly.

“Okay…that’s okay.” Angie stood up and crossed the room to stand in front of him cautiously. “Just… if you need to talk, I’m here for you, sweetie.” She extended her arms in an offering for a hug.

“I know.” He accepted her gesture and rested his head on her shoulder. “I just need to talk to her first.”

He headed out to the garage. It didn’t take long for him to wheel his bike out of the garage and suit up. He never really felt like taking his bike out was all that notable. Nothing would compare to when he tried to teach Star a couple months back, but she—

No, stop it, he told himself, shaking his head as if it would help unscramble his thoughts in any way. Stop thinking about her.

He was sure that the last thing Jackie needed was for him to suddenly show up on her doorstep in tears, especially when he had already done such a terrible job of communicating with her during his impromptu trip to Mewni. His only message to her about the entire situation had been incredibly brief.

Marco: I’m going to Mewni to make sure Star is okay. It sounds like something bad is about to go down there. I’ll be back soon, I promise. Love you

If he could go back in time a week, he would have done a better job of explaining himself. But it’s too late to worry about it now. I just need to focus on the present.

Once he’d shut the garage behind him, he headed off in the direction of Jackie’s house. His gaze rarely lifted from the street, and he couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact with any neighbors that he passed, out of fear of encountering someone who’d ask questions or demand answers.

It almost felt like some of the color in his life had been leeched away. The only thing that didn’t look any more faded to him was the moon, which was painted a vibrant and shadowy red, slowly climbing its way out of the magenta-colored morning sky—wait, what?

Marco rubbed his eyes fervently in an effort to snap himself out of it, but it didn’t work. No, his fears were completely correct, and he found himself staring up at the Blood Moon, hovering behind the clouds. It wouldn’t be visible for much longer before it sank behind the trees, but the fact of the matter was that it was here. It was still here, lingering in the background like a silent menace. A shudder ran up his spine as he watched it, unable to look away.

The front wheel of his bike suddenly collided forcefully with the curb, threatening to launch him over the handlebars. Miraculously, he managed to plant a foot on the ground to prevent himself from landing in a heap. He let out a trembling exhale as he stared up at it with an intense gaze.

Okay. Why it’s here isn’t important. You’re here to see Jackie, he repeated in his mind, over and over in the hopes that it would stick. She’s worried about you. You haven’t spoken to her in a week. You need to apologize.

With one last fleeting glance at the moon, he backed his bike away from the curb and continued down the road towards Jackie’s house.

✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:* ♦ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

“King River has returned.”

Moon’s gaze snapped up from the book on dimensional travel she had been scouring through. Even if she had publicly said that returning Star wasn’t first on her list of priorities, that didn’t mean that she was about to drop all of her efforts. As she viewed it, her status as as queen was an entirely different person from herself. Queen Butterfly was the one who would look after the kingdom, and Moon was going to find a way to contact her daughter. But hearing the news of her husband’s return reminded her that this situation was far too great in scale to look at it in such a black and white way.

“Is he alright?” she demanded, standing up.

The guard nodded. “He appears to be, yes.”

Moon let out a breath that she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in. “Thank goodness…”

She left her notes behind and quickly followed after the guard. It was a slightly unusual scene that she walked into, as there were several large eagles perched around the foyer. But her husband was there, too, and that was all that mattered to her in that moment.

“Moon-pie!” he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up at the sight of her. Their common formalities were forgotten as both of them rushed towards each other and met with a tight hug in the center of the room. “I’m so glad that you’ve returned safely.”

“And I you,” Moon murmured, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I didn’t know how much more of this I could take...”

He pulled back from the hug to hold her hands instead. “You know, you really had me worried, leaving so suddenly!”

“I’m so sorry,” she apologized.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, because I do! But if you and Star had to leave so quickly, it must have been serious...”

She’d sworn to herself that she wouldn’t cry, but her composure was betraying her. “I’m so sorry,” she repeated, her voice choking up on the last syllable.

River frowned in concern. “Did something happen?”

“I-I tried— but I didn’t— Star, s-she— I couldn’t...” River brought a hand up to cup her cheek, and she met his gaze with sad, watery eyes.

“Moon-pie?”

She lurched forwards and buried her face in his shoulder, holding him close as tears began to flow freely.

The few knights that were left in the room lowered their heads and excused themselves from the room, granting them both some privacy.

✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:* ☾ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

After a very brief internal pep talk, Marco was finally able to convince himself to knock on Jackie’s door. As anxious as he was to see her, he tried to focus on the floor as he waited, in the hopes of not overthinking anything.

When the door finally opened and he was face to face with her for the first time in an incredibly long week, he felt a grin take shape on his face. “Hey, Jackie—“

“Marco!” She darted forwards and caught him in a tight hug. “God, I was so worried about you, doofus!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m the worst.”

“No you’re not,“ she argued, holding him tighter. “I saw your message… but I sort of hoped you brought your phone anyways, just in case.”

“I can’t exactly get cell service on Mewni. Earth phones don’t work there,” he reminded her, chuckling halfheartedly. She laughed too, and it managed to brighten his smile a little. There was something comforting and familiar about hearing her laugh.

“I know! I know, it’s just… you left without much of a warning at all. First Star, and then you… you guys really scared all of us.”

“I’m really sorry. I should’ve talked to you first. I didn’t mean to make you worry so much.”

“It’s okay, Marco. I know you didn’t mean to.”

A beat of silence passed as he tried to think of what to say and she patiently waited. Where do I even start?

“Do you think we can go sit down and talk about everything? It’s… a long story.”

“Yeah, of course!” She nodded and beckoned him through the door. “Come on in.”

He followed her upstairs—after a brief hello to her parents—and took a seat in her desk chair. She sat down criss-crossed on the foot of her bed and looked at him expectantly.

Jackie was the first one that dared to break the temporary pause. Her voice was cautious. “I take it that something bad happened?”

Marco was surprised by her forwardness. “W-what?”

“I can tell you have bad news, Marco. Well, either that, or something exhausting happened. I can see it in your face.”

“Oh, uh... yeah, your first guess was pretty on point.”

Jackie frowned sympathetically. “I may not know much about this Mewni stuff, but hey, I’m probably easier to vent at than a brick wall, right?” She leaned forwards and put her hands in her lap. “So lay it on me.”

“...How much do you want to hear?”

“Tell me as little or as much as you want to. If it’ll help you feel better, I want to hear it.”

But there’s so much that’s happened! “Gosh, where do I start?”

“The beginning, maybe?”

Marco nodded, and, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself, he began his story.

“Well... there’s always been a bunch of monsters from Mewni that kept coming after Star. Their leader was named Ludo. He wanted her wand, but him and his lackeys are pretty incompetent, so they never managed to take it. Not until this guy named Toffee came along.”

“Toffee? That’s a weird name…”

“Yeah, I don’t really understand Mewni’s naming conventions, either,” he laughed. “Maybe it’s a normal name there. I mean, to be fair, most of Star’s family is named after celestial bodies, so it’s probably not that weird.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s fair.”

“Anyways, Toffee kind of showed up out of nowhere, and we could tell that this was a lot more serious than what we were used to with Ludo.”

“You didn’t ask anyone for help?”

“Star’s not exactly the type to ask her parents for help, so no, we just kind of dealt with it ourselves.”

Jackie pursed her lip. “That sounds like a really bad idea.”

“In hindsight, yeah, definitely. We had no idea who this guy was.” Queen Butterfly made it sound like he’s pretty infamous, he remembered, silently wishing he had asked for more information on Toffee when he had the chance. “He’s the only one who ever managed to take the wand. He kidnapped me, and then he tricked Star into—“

“Excuse me?!” She interrupted, somewhat outraged. “You got— you can’t just gloss over that!”

“But this isn’t about me!” Marco protested. “I’m perfectly fine now, so it’s no big deal.”

“If you’re that calm about literally getting kidnapped, I’m not sure how comfortable I am with you going to Mewni all the time...”

“It’s not a regular thing, I promise!”

“Okay, okay,” she sighed in defeat. “Fine. What happened there? Besides the whole hostage-taking thing.”

“He used me as blackmail to make Star destroy the wand.”

“I thought you said he wanted to take it?”

“That’s what we thought, initially,” Marco admitted. “He had Star use this really weird spell that set it off like a bomb. The whole castle blew up, Toffee included. We thought it killed him, but… well, it obviously didn’t. He came back.”

Jackie furrowed her brow, thinking for several moments. “Not to insult your storytelling or anything, but I’m really lost.”

“Yeah, I’m, uh... kind of skipping over a lot. Sorry.”

“It’s okay... I know there’s a lot to go over, probably.” She glances around her room once before an idea came to her. “Wait! What was up with the night of the school dance? In the graveyard, when that weird little bird dude showed up.”

“That’s Ludo,” Marco explained briefly. “Long story short... when Star tried to destroy the wand, it actually split it in two. Star kept the first half, and Ludo had the other one. That night in particular was when he stole the spellbook from Star.”

“What does that Toffee guy have to do with this?”

Marco tried to recall as much as he could about the days prior to Star’s disappearance, but the fact of the matter was that he hardly knew anything about Toffee’s involvement with the whole situation. There was obviously a lot more to it, far beyond his own knowledge.

“That spell Star used must have put him inside of the wand. For some reason, she used it again, and she got caught in the blast that time...” He took a pause, having a hard time thinking about those that few moments before she disappeared. “Toffee got out. Wherever the spell put him, it put her in his place. I think that might have been his plan all along.”

He was leaving out a lot of the details—he could tell from the slideshow of emotions on Jackie’s face that she knew his explanation wasn’t quite lining up—but frankly, he could hardly make sense of it, either. Even if he had visited Mewni several times now, everything about it and its magic was otherworldly. He couldn’t imagine how crazy it sounded to someone who had never even been there.

It wasn’t that unlike the Neverzone, in that way, though Mewni was certainly a lot less intense. A few things had stuck with him once he left—mostly learned skills, like how to drive a dragoncycle or wield a katana—but all the rest of his memories of that place had faded in a matter of weeks. He supposed it was time shenanigans of some sort, but it was still weird to him that he had acquired these skills when he didn’t remember practicing them at all.

Jackie had remained silent, mulling over his words. In the temporary break in conversation, Marco went on, saying, “Apparently this guy has been involved with Star’s family in the past, but I don’t really know how.”

Finally, she spoke up, offering an idea of her own. “Can’t someone use the same spell, or something? Anything at all?”

Marco shook his head. “I don’t think it’s that simple. The wand seems to be broken for good now, and I think that’s the only way to get to where she is.” He stared at the floor as he was reminded of just how dire this situation was. “She’s trapped in a dimension that no one can get to, and… I can’t tell if that’s worse.”

Jackie immediately dipped her head in understanding, and her sadness was apparent on her face. “Gosh, this really sucks.”

“That’s a heck of an understatement.”

“You were there when this happened? I can’t imagine how hard that was.”

He nodded once, averting his gaze from her when he felt his eyes begin to tear up again. “It should be so easy, but it’s not… everything that could have possibly gone wrong did go wrong.”

Despite his efforts to hide it, Jackie was quick to notice his defensiveness. “Hey... come here.”

He hesitated for several second before finding the energy to move. When he got up, she stood as well and met him halfway in a hug.

“I-if I had known that was the last conversation I was going to get to have with her,” Marco mumbled, his voice never rising above a whisper, “I, I wouldn’t have just let her leave without—“

Wordlessly, Jackie pulled him in tighter, resting her head against his shoulder. “I know,” she murmured. “I’m so sorry.” Marco could tell from her tone of voice that she was upset, even if she wasn’t really showing it in the same way he was.

In that moment, he felt awful for subjecting her to all of it. She and Star knew each other, of course—it was hard for anyone not to be charmed by Star’s infectious personality—but he wasn’t sure if him dumping all of the information on her without warning was a fair way to relay it. I hope she doesn’t feel guilty about what happened.

Nobody should have felt responsible. Not Jackie, not Janna, not Marco. It felt awful to admit it, but Star had been a victim of bad circumstance, and that was all. It wasn’t his fault. He wasn’t supposed to be a mind reader.

A shudder went up his spine. But why do I feel so guilty?

“I’m so glad you’re here, Jackie,” he said, attempting to redirect his thoughts.

“And I’m glad you’re back,” she replied. “I’m so happy that you’re safe.”

At least he didn’t have to wake up for school tomorrow. That was something he didn’t think he could manage.

#star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #marco diaz #janna ordonia #moon butterfly #river butterfly #motherverse #tbwlhw #immersive

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sylvain-writes · 5 years ago

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Scarlet Letters (TMNT Raphael x Reader)

Chapter 5/8: Something’s Gotta Give

Bed sharing.

(Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ao3)

“I’m not…” Raphael shakes his head as his chin drops to his chest. “That’s not me,” he says quietly. And then he’s moving.

He makes it across the room before you abandon the dishes on the table to follow. “Not what?” you ask as the turtle perches himself on the edge of the couch. “You’re not making any sense.”

His broad shoulders slump as he sits with his elbows on his knees. The position must be uncomfortable, but the grimace twisting his features doesn’t seem to be in response to physical pain.

“Maybe I don’ think things through,” he mutters. “An’ I get carried away.” Raphael’s hands pass over each other in a smooth, yet nervous, pattern. “But fearless? Nah, that’s my brutha.” A quiet chuckle breaks Raphael’s explanation; it holds more sorrow than mirth. “Fearless. I-I called him that sometimes, y’know? Started as a joke when he first took up the role as our leader. But… he earned it. He earned it every day we-”

“Did something happen to him?” Hearing Raphael speak in the past tense, you know that can't mean anything good.

Raphael heaves a sigh and forces another chuckle at his choice of words. “We didn’t exactly part amicably.”

You can see Raphael is trying to keep things light, but you want him to know that he doesn’t have to. Not with you.

Your hand alights to his as you take a seat beside him, and you give it a gentle squeeze. He turns his palm under yours, open to receive your touch. Your fingers curl around his and he doesn’t let go. You wonder, not for the first time, if he remembers holding your hand as he slept. You wonder if he notices how perfectly your hand fits in his.

“We fought,” he goes on. “We were always fightin’. He followed me topside. Then, to the rooftops where we got mixed up with some unsavories. He probably thinks I ditched ‘im. Probably why he told the guys not to come lookin’ fo’ me.”

“Raphael.” There’s no doubt of your affection when you speak his name. With his hand in yours, it doesn’t feel like this thing between you is one-sided. “I don’t believe for a second that your brothers don’t want to look for you.”

“They ain’t the ones that dragged me outta that alley. They ain’t found me here.” He has no idea just how bad the weather conditions have gotten.

“There’s a foot of snow on the ground and a thick layer of ice on top of that,” you explain with a sympathetic frown. “No one is out looking for anybody. Fearless or Hot-head, I doubt any of you turtle guys handle the cold well.”

“Heh, sure.”

Knocking your shoulder against him doesn’t feel like colliding with a wall. There’s give to the rippling muscles of Raphael’s arm. There’s a playful quality to the way he sways, going along with your action.

“Red,” you remind him, “you were slipping in and out of consciousness all night. As soon as the temperature rises above freezing, we’ll get you home.”

His hand gently releases yours and your heart sinks at the loss, but then it’s back. The pad of Raphael’s thumb drags across your knuckles as he sits in thought. Each pass of his thumb eases your anxiety. His quietude convinces you that he’s taking your concerns to heart.

“I should call them,” he says hesitantly, like it’s a responsibility he knows he can’t put off any longer. “Where’s my pack?”

You drag your lower lip between your teeth, knowing you should have searched sooner. “There wasn’t one. I had to make sure you were gonna be OK before I checked the alley.”

Though leaving Raphael’s side isn’t something you feel ready to do, you know it’s time to show him what you found.

From the credenza at the front door, you retrieve the forked weapon and smashed communication device.

Raphael accepts both from you in stunned silence before setting the sai aside. The remains of the shell phone lie in pieces in his hands.

“It must have gotten damaged during your fall from the roof.”

Raphael’s reluctance to speak with his brothers is replaced by urgency. “I gotta get back out there. If somebody stole that pack-” In his rush to stand, Raphael’s knees buckle and he lets out a pained grunt.

“Easy.”

“My bruthas could be in trouble.” Unsteady on his feet, he reaches out to find support. His hand clamps onto your shoulder with a grip strong enough to hold him up, but you marvel at his control. He doesn’t hurt you. Even when it would have been easy for him to get lost in his own panic and pain, to forget how fragile you are in comparison, he keeps your safety in mind.

Instinctively, you do the same for him. With a hand on his waist, you draw attention to the fresh bandages protecting his side. “Raphael,” you warn him, “you’re in no condition to go out there.”

His eyes plead for your understanding, for your consent. “But I gotta.”

Your hand pets the exposed skin of Raphael’s hip and encourages him closer. You don’t want to watch him beg, but you can’t bear to look away. “Then, we go together. Tomorrow. After we’ve both gotten some real rest.”

“But-” His anxious resolve is fading. He’s listening to you.

“Tomorrow.”

Raphael touches the bandage at his side and his fingers meet yours. As he looks down at your hands together, the bulk of his impatience dissolves into a sigh. “Yeah, yeah,” he concedes. “Tomorrow.”

⁂

“Are you gonna make this weird?” you tease, pulling up the blankets to climb into the sofabed.

Raphael huffs as you lie back on the pillow opposite him. “I’m not gonna make it weird.”

“Really? Cause you’ve been looking everywhere but at me when I’m the only other person in the room, and I gotta say, that’s making it feel a little weird.”

“You’re da one makin’ it weird by talkin’ about it.”

“Uh huh.” Staring at the ceiling, you fill your lungs and heave a heavy sigh.

⁂

After discovering that an hour trading huffs and hums does nothing to dissipate the awkwardness, Raphael concedes defeat. “Y’know, I gotta admit, dis is weird.”

You roll onto your side to stare at the wall of blankets and couch cushions the turtle has piled between you. “Can’t imagine why."

Weird or not, you leave the pillows in place. If they help Raphael feel even slightly better about sharing a bed, you won't pressure him into taking them down.

⁂

It’s a testament to your exhaustion that you’re able to fall asleep as easily as you do. You don’t mean to. Your intention is to stay up, to make sure Raphael is able to settle before you succumb to your need to rest.

It’s the bounce of the mattress, the soft groans as Raphael struggles in discomfort, that wake you.

“What’s wrong?” you ask groggily, but as soon as you’re up, you know. You can feel the chill from the tip of your nose to the ache in your fingers.

He says, “It’s nothin’,” like you can’t hear the chatter of his teeth.

You hug the heavy quilt around your shoulders and call his bluff. “You’re cold.”

“Gee, you must be a friggin’ mind reader.”

You secretly wish that were true. “I’m a nurse, actually. And warm-blooded. And even I'm freezing.”

There’s no response from beyond the wall.

With a sigh of exasperation, you take a calculated risk. One cushion at a time, you pull the barrier down. Raphael doesn’t protest. Surprisingly enough, you find him lying same as you were, facing the center of the bed, quilt drawn up to his chin.

“The cold ain’t gonna kill me,” he insists.

Suppressing the urge to roll your eyes, you smile. “I can help with that, if you let me.”

“What, ya gonna kill me?” he jests.

You level him with a glare, but tease him in kind. “Maybe.”

"Ha," he laughs. It’s one note, one puff of air straight from his chest. But it’s genuine, and even in the dark, you can see him smile. “Alright, alright. Easy, Killa.”

As you're adjusting the blankets to better insulate and share your heat, Raphael goes still.

"Whaddaya got there?" he asks.

You play dumb. You know what he's asking. You're wearing a sleeveless top specifically to help share your body's warmth, so of course the scar on your shoulder is exposed. "What's what?"

The press of Raphael's fingertips beside the scar comes as a surprise. The old wound hurts the same as always - dull and persistent - but the chill of Raphael's fingers soothes the ache.

"It happened a long time ago. I was just a kid."

"You were just a kid," Raphael’s whisper is as soft as the touch of his fingertips as he traces the lines of the old wound. "Someone did this to a kid?"

"How do you know someone did this? Maybe I fell. Maybe it was surgery. Maybe-"

"Sure,” Raphael placates. His fingers continue to follow the dark branching veins that spread from your scar’s center. “Maybe. But it wasn't, was it?"

It’s your turn to look away. The memories of that night flood your mind - the loss of your father, the searing pain as a nameless poison stained your blood, your other parent’s listless stare as you wept. Crying didn’t solve anything back then. But now, for the first time in ages, your nose burns with the threat of oncoming tears.

You clear your throat and dash your hands over your eyes. In your rush to stave off the tears, you end up knocking Raphael’s hand off of your shoulder. The loss of his touch is all the worse knowing that his retreat is your fault.

You want it back. You want Raphael close. Your mouth opens and closes without sound, your words trapped behind the lump in your throat.

Frustrated and torn by your want to be held and your need to hold yourself together, you push your fists against your eyes and turn your face into your pillow. You let out a long breath in a rush.

The room is silent save for the squeaks of the mattress springs as Raphael shifts his position. He doesn’t say anything when he brings your hands down from your face. He’s quiet as he slides one of his hands over your shoulder and down your back. You don’t even think he’s breathing until you’re safely nestled within his embrace.

“I don’t need you to pity me,” you mumble as he wraps you up in his arms.

“Pity? What pity?” With your cheek resting on his bicep, the soft caress of his fingers over your scalp eases your mind. His lips move against your hairline as he speaks. “You keep braggin’ about all that body heat. I'm just cashin’ in."

The lie is as much a comfort as the hand rubbing circles up and down your spine.

A low churr vibrates within Raphael’s chest as you trace the lines of his plastron. It takes you by surprise; you think it may take Raphael by surprise, as well. Still, he settles. You trace the line that divides his pectorals again. And when the churring picks up, it’s so strong it tickles the tips of your fingers.

As if his response to your touch isn’t encouragement enough, Raphael inches toward you until you yield to your own desire and close the rest of the gap. The tension in Raphael's muscles relax, and his arms wrap around you in full.

"I'm pretty friggin' cold," he admits like maybe it’s not the worst thing in the world. "So, I’m thinkin’ that I maybe gotta hold onto ya for a little while."

"Mhmm,” you hum, burrowing into the crook of his shoulder. “Can’t let all my work rescuing you go to waste." Your lazy smile curls against the warming skin of Raphael’s neck and your eyes drift closed once more.

As you sink into each other’s embrace, Raphael rests his cheek upon your head. "Exactly my point."

Dreamily, you agree, "It's a good one."

#Raphael x gender neutral reader #TMNT Raphael x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #Raphael x reader #TMNT Raphael x reader #TMNT Raphael #Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #TMNT 2014/16 #bayverse raphael #bayverse tmnt

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spirit-of-the-void · 6 years ago

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Ebony and Ivory (V x Reader Fanfic) Chapter 11

Author’s notes: Thank you all for your long and support, im so sorry for the delay ive been having problems with my internet all night...its the worst, but im chugging on... Do you guys hear music? <3

Chapter 11

Upon waking, you were a cacophony of emotions.

One? Regret. Drinking had left you feeling a bit miserable when you started blinking awake. You put a hand to your head, grunting softly at a pretty gnarly headache that rose to meet you. Well, that was one lesson learned--drinking was definitely not the best idea you ever had, but that was beside the point. Onto the second emotion, which was definitely connected to the slow realization that arms were wrapped around you. Breath in your hair, legs half resting on yours, body to body. Spooning. Your face flushed, entire being immediately recognizing the lanky form lightly hugging yours. V. He was sharing the bed with you, holding you in what could only equate to a tender embrace.

Suddenly that headache bothered you a thousand times less.

You were so torn. On one hand, you were loving the close contact. He was so warm, so welcome. The sound of his gentle breathing and his soft skin touching yours was making your head spin a bit. On the other hand, it made you wonder just how out of hand the drinking had got last night--you hoped to god you hadn’t done anything super uncomfortable to the poet to cause this. Your memories were vague, fuzzy. You remembered a lot of giggling, a lot of crying, V’s hands touching your face. Christ, you hoped Griffon kept you from forcing a kiss on him.

Speaking of the bird, he was curled up by your heads again, snoring lightly. Shadow was lounging by your feet, cracking one eye open to lazily stare at you. This bed was queen sized, definitely big enough to fit you, V, and all the familiars. Minus nightmare, who was still in V’s hair. You took a deep breath, relaxing in the poet’s arms a bit as you thought over how to get up without waking him. It looked like no one else was up yet, luckily. You were sure you wouldn’t hear the end of it from Nico and Lady if they saw you spooning with the sandal-wearing goth. Not that you minded--you would happily do this with him again, at a later date.

You closed your eyes again, counting his breaths. Your power was definitely back, so you snuck him some energy before he woke up and scolded you. You wanted him to get up feeling refreshed and healthy, despite the hangover you were rocking. Still, you had to admit waking up like this was pretty distracting for you in the pain department. And you had worse pain the previous day, a little headache was nothing. As for Lady, or worse Nico...They wouldn’t be having a good morning, not at all. You would do your best for them too.

As you mused, you felt the poet behind you stir a bit, letting out a light sigh. You slowed your breathing, not wanting to get up yet. Mind you, there was a lot to do and time to recover from the missed day, but...The peace felt nice. Being with him felt nice--Griffon was right, you had it bad. It was the fourth day, and you already felt comfortable enough sharing a bed with the man, craved it. You didn’t want to know what sleeping alone felt like again, and that was definitely a sign that you were absolutely in over your head.

Regardless, you felt V disentangle himself from you, much to your heavy disappointment. You fought a sigh, ready to bring yourself out of your own resting position when something the poet did stopped you. You felt him sit up and pause, letting out a slow sigh into the quiet air. Then, his hand was there, stroking your wavy locks. Softly, tenderly. Delight and surprise filled you, body resisting the urge to jolt the instant he touched you. This morning was just full of surprises it would seem, full of peaceful things that you once took for granted. Never again.

You let him continue for a few seconds, waiting for the right moment to slowly blink open your eyes. He paused for a moment when you did, but still rested his hand on your head as you yawned and rubbed your aching face. Christ, reality was so strange at that moment.

“Well well,” V said in that low purr, wearing his familiar half- smirk when you turned to look at him, “Look who’s finally awake.”

You gave a small smile back, pulling yourself up and hating how your ears rang. You put your hands to your head, letting out a low groan of, “Oww..”

“Ahh, and there it is,” V chuckled, stroking a hand over your aching head, “The culmination of last night’s activities.”

You winced, lifting your gaze again to meet his bemused one. Damn him for waking up looking perfect and wonderful, despite the fact that you definitely helped with that.

“Laugh it up,” You huffed, eyes narrowing on him as you lowered your hands, “But you’re the one who gets to travel with my cranky ass.”

He let out a low chuckle, the way his eyes sparkled with mirth making your heart speed up. He stroked your head once more, making your eyes close a bit before he slid out of the bed. Shadow was blinking awake at your feet, yawning in a great display of mighty jaws and teeth. Absolutely adorable. Griffon was pulling himself up to, letting out a low, bird-like trill as he shook out his feathers. You smiled, pleased that no one seemed worse for wear after the fuzzy night of drinking. You, too, felt like yourself. No lingering bad feelings, no nightmares today.

“Don’t you fuckers know how to sleep in?” Griffon muttered, gold eyes meeting yours. He squinted, probably noticing your good mood, all things considered. He let out a low, evil chortle, hopping closer as he hissed, “Well now, don’t you look cheerful, girlie. How did being little spoon feel? Bet you loved being held in the Poet’s big, strong arms.”

You shrugged, a bemused look in your eyes as you contemplated arguing his words. But there wasn’t really any point.

“Yep,” You replied, picking him up to deposit him on your shoulders while you slid out of bed, “Though my head is killing me.”

“Gee, I wonder why,” Griffon said sarcastically, eyeing the empty bottles still on the table as you stood, “Though I gotta say, I admire your honesty, toots.”

You chuckled, giving Shadow a pat on the head as the mighty cat hopped down from the mattress, extending in a luxurious stretch of their front paws. You did the same, only pulling your arms over your head once Griffon flew over to V, dressing himself in the dining room. It occurred to you that you had slept in the arms of a shirtless man all night, which was definitely a plus. One you weren’t going to think about. But you did think about how you felt considerably closer to the poet now. And that pleased you, absolutely tickled pink.

You settled on sitting on the dining room table, summoning a banana to eat while V situated himself. Only once he was done getting dressed did you toss one at him too, enjoying the face he made when the fruit registered in his palm.

“Back to the food I see,” He hummed, eyeing you with a bit of concern, “Are you...sure you’re alright?”

The question made your chest squeeze. It finally occurred to you the events of the previous night, of everything that had happened. You realized that you had no idea how V reacted to it all. What had happened after you passed out? You assumed it was the poet who found you on the bathroom floor, who sent Griffon to find the others. There was a hint of tired worry in his eyes, that concern definitely rooted in something terrible. You felt...awful. You hated the idea that your actions had caused him to be hurt, hated that you put him through a bad experience. Somehow the sensation of his ache was worse than the pain you went through.

You smiled softly, cheerful despite the squeezing of your heart.

“I’m okay,” You promised, crossing your legs on the table, “Promise. No lies this time.”

He let out a slow breath, tapping his cane on the ground and eyeing you with that smoldering look of his.

“I believe you,” He murmured, eyeing the banana you gave him with a wry smirk, “If only you were so honest with your fetishes.”

You snorted a laugh, grinning as you finished off your own food, “You can’t handle my fetishes, pretty boy. Don’t ask about what you don’t want the answers to.”

“Ahh,” V slid his gaze over you, half sitting on the table and crossing his long legs, “Curiosity did kill the cat, but satisfaction will bring me back.”

The way he said “satisfaction” kind of made your toes curl.

“Satisfaction is a luxury,” Your voice was steadier than your felt, heart pounding away with that stupid excitement as you let out a light hum, “So I have to make you work for it, don’t I?”

He smiled again, and that smile had implications. The whole conversation felt...different. Charged with energy, border-lining on sexy and playful. Flirting. You were flirting with him. As he tasked himself with carefully eating the banana you gave him, your mind raced. Something was definitely different between the two of you, as if the previous night’s events had left you both stepping over a line at the same time. You knew you had made up your mind to be more honest with your feelings. But V...seemed to be a little riskier too, which was both a relief and a curse. A relief, because you wanted to be closer to him. A curse, because it was making you as giddy as a teenage girl with your first crush.

Griffon was not immune to the sensation. He landed on your shoulder, letting out a low, pleased chortle as his beak snapped near your ear. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes held every unsaid jibe.

The distinct sound of Lady rising from the couch followed, both you and Griffon turning to see the lovely woman slowly sitting up. Her hair was a bit tussled, a groan leaving her as soon as she was no longer horizontal. You could sympathize--you weren’t feeling your best after the alcoholic frenzy. Though you knew you had it easier, you could recover with some food and fresh air. The normal humans would not. The woman in question turned to blink at you and the poet blearily, hand rubbing her temple as she registered back with reality.

You smiled, giving a small wave of your hand, “Good morning, Lady.”

She grunted, rising to her feet and stretching.

“‘Morning,” She murmured in reply, face scrunched up in obvious discomfort as she took a few steps closer to you, “Not so good. Christ, my head.”

“I’m so sorry,” You replied in sympathy, smiling as you extended some tendrils over to her to wrap around her wrist. She blinked in surprise when you did so, eyeing them with a mixture of wariness and curiosity. It occurred to you that she still hadn’t seen them yet, only knowing you for a day now, “Here, let me help a bit. It’s not much, but it’s better than nothing.”

You whispered that familiar line, sending a small jolt of energy into the woman and enjoying how her expression shifted to awe. You didn’t give too much, not wanting to risk wasting much needed energy very early in the day. Still, it would relieve some of the throbbing headache the woman was surely feeling, and that was better than nothing. You could feel V watching you, finishing off his food much to your contentment. He had learned that arguing with you on the food issue was definitely pointless, you would not be swayed. He was a bean pole, and you were determined to help him in any way you could.

“Wow,” Lady said simply, drawing your attention back to her, “That felt...wild. I do feel better.”

You smiled, “I’m glad. Still, try to take it easy today, if you can.”

“That goes double for you, toots!” Griffon squawked at your words, snapping his beak by your ear and making you wince, “Practice what you preach…! No exerting today, no fancy invocations…!”

You sighed, not wanting to argue, especially not when V looked like he was in complete agreement with the bird.

“Yes sir.”

Clanging followed from the garage, followed by the door opening and Nero sticking his head inside. All turned to face him, you smiling when you saw his squeaky clean face and damp hair. It looked like he had taken a shower, probably having to scrub at that pen writing on his face to get it off. He was lucky you hadn’t sat in there for a half hour the other night like you wanted to. He was one of the only group members not hung over, but luckily his leg was no longer bandaged, now completely healed and ready to go.

“Which one of you douchebags,” He growled, eyes traveling over you and Lady, “Wrote ‘dead weight’ on my forehead?”

You rose a brow, not wanting to be a snitch.

Lady seemed to have similar thoughts, letting out a low yawn and turning her gaze away. An unspoken agreement passed between you two, obviously annoying the white-haired demon hunter. You liked Nero, you really did, but you couldn’t throw the obvious culprit under the bus. Hell, you didn’t even know why the whole ‘dead weight’ joke was a thing, but guessing by Nero’s obvious annoyance and that twitching muscle under his eye, it was a sore subject for him. Probably why he got so mad when Griffon said it days earlier.

“I’m so disappointed in you both,” Nero clicked his tongue, crossing his arms as he entered the room, “You both know damn well who did it, but you won’t just confirm it.”

“Did you see who did it, Y/N?” Lady said, examining her cuticles in a lazy display of disdain, “I didn’t, don’t remember a thing.”

You shrugged, playing with a lock of your hair as you replied, “Cannot recall, Must be the booze.”

Nero groaned, rolling his eyes as he turned away, “You guys are the worse. Can’t even believe this shit.”

You smiled, hopping off the table and hearing V follow you as you approached the disgruntled boy.

“Sorry, Nero,” You replied, patting him on the shoulder, “I’ll make it up to you somehow. How is Nico doing this morning?”

Nero made a face, inclining his head toward the door he came through. You heard a distant groan, and the sound of a clanging--Nico was definitely awake, and definitely not happy this morning. You smiled ruefully, hearing her trail of carnage as she made her way through the van, then shoved open the door from the garage. V took a step back, probably not wanting to get involved with the chaos the hungover woman was bringing--smart of him. Nico definitely looked frazzled, hair a mess and bags under her eyes. She took that alcohol well, but the following morning seemed less than stellar. You felt bad for her.

“What are y’all lookin’ at?” She scowled once every eye in the room was on her disheveled form, “What time is it?”

Nero checked a clock on the wall, letting out a low hum. As if Nico’s suffering pleased him.

“Ten in the morning,” He replied, crossing his arms again as he regarded the woman, “We should probably head out, lots to do today.”

Nico groaned, scrubbing a hand down her face, “Shit, that late already?” She looked over the room, scowling a bit as everyone started to gear themselves up. You rushed over to put everything you needed in your bag, absorbing it back into yourself. You then tasked yourself with quickly changing into your normal clothes, not caring who saw you in your panties. V and Nero quickly turned their backs, like gentlemen, while Lady covered Griffon and Shadow’s eyes. Nico openly watched, you could tell. But when you turned your bare back toward them, it occurred to you that neither of the woman had seen it yet.

You heard Lady suck in a breath, and you blinked, quickly pulling on your blouse to hide the jagged scaring all over your back. Yikes, you never explained that.

“Holy shit,” Nico said in a hushed voice, “Y/N, what the hell happened to your god damn back?”

You saw V’s shoulders twitch like he wanted to turn and look, but the precious boy managed to keep himself composed. You smiled softly, vaguely thinking that you wouldn’t have minded if he snuck a peak, which was a dangerous thought. Although, it now became apparent to you that you definitely spilled a lot to the girls last night that V hadn’t heard. You fought a groan, realizing just how many facts you had let loose--both knew your secret now, but the poet didn’t. You held the scars of every time you died, but you couldn’t say that. Not now, not in front of V and Nero. You weren’t exactly comfortable with telling those secrets to them yet, not without the use of alcohol.

Hell, had you not been drunk you wouldn’t have even told the girls. But you were glad you did. You just needed time.

“That’s a story for another time,” You replied, tugging on your combat boots and lacing them, “It’s safe to turn around boys.”

Both immediately turned, relieved to see you now clothed. V’s expression, at the very least, was slightly relieved. And slightly…

Was that disappointment? He looked a bit concerned too, as if he knew there were things that the girls knew and he didn’t. You felt bad, but you couldn’t bring yourself to share everything...not now.

“Warn a guy next time before you start stripping,” Nero huffed, scratching the side of his head, “Some of us are committed men.”

“One of us,” V replied, giving a wry smile, “In fact you’re the only committed man in the room, Nero.”

You chuckled, “Sorry sorry. Was just in a hurry,” You walked by, completely ready now and patted his cheek, “I’ll make sure to tell Kyrie your chastity is preserved.”

“Wow, thanks,” Nero said in heavy sarcasm, rolling his eyes and turning to follow you. He spared the mechanic a passing glance, tone stern as he replied, “Please do not start drinking again. We’re gonna head out, you and Lady be ready to respond if needed.”

“Yeah yeah,” Nico replied with a huff, scratching the side of her face and wincing, “Don’t get your panties in a twist. You know my number.”

You smiled, wrapping your tendrils around her waist as you passed toward the door. A small jolt of energy made her eyes fly open, gaze whipping around to stare at you as you relieved some of her fatigue and pain. This was her first time feeling it, which had to be exciting for the mechanic. You smiled, blowing her a light kiss as your group made its way out the door, tendrils retracting back into you. You were sad you were leaving Lady and Nico behind, but there was work to do. You were glad to be on the move again, but the girl time you were allowed was both wanted and needed. Just...maybe with less booze next time, if there was a next time.

Lady gave you a little finger wave, an adorable smile on her face as you returned it. Upon entering the garage, you were delighted to see the sun shining beyond the garage door. Nero lifted it with his metal arm effortlessly, allowing you and your group to pass through. Less stellar now that you were facing the bright light head on. You lifted a hand to shield the sun, wincing when it sent a twinge through your skull. Bright, much too bright. And worse so, the black crystal you produced the other day was still there, now glinting and gleaming in the morning glow. A reminder, of sorts. Griffon landed on your shoulders as you stared at it, letting out a low whistle as you both took in the sheer size of the structure--he had been there when it was made, but you got the impression he hadn’t really absorbed how big it was.

“Still can’t believe you made that,” Griffon squawked, his blue feathers glinting in the sun, “That shit was sure somethin’, toots. A real doozy.”

V came up on your right, Nero on your left.

Nero let out a light hum, eyeing the structure with a mix of awe and envy, “Damn, wish I could have been around to see you blow some demons away.”

You smiled, “Maybe another--”

“No!”

All three of them exclaimed at the same time, pinning your startled form in place with varying looks of exasperation. You blinked, holding up your hands defensively but getting the message pretty damn fast--no one liked what the invocation did to you, it would seem. V looked very firm on the issue, jade eyes locking with yours and not moving. There were severally emotions in that gaze, ones that you would not argue with. If anything...it made you feel good.

“N...noted…” You sighed, rubbing the toe of your boot into the ground, “It won’t happen again.”

Nero pat you on the back, a light smirk on his face as he replied, “Don’t sweat it, kid. Bet it was pretty cool, but the results were less than satisfactory.”

“I agree.” V said simply, gripping the head on his cane.

You smiled lightly, rocking back on your heels as Nero started forward, heading to where you remembered Nico telling you to meet them the previous day. Morning four of traveling, one day lost. No one seemed to mind the lost time, which you were grateful for. Nero seemed in pretty high spirits as he led the group to what looked to be an abandoned subway station, rubble and debris lining the platform and tunnel entrance. You fought a groan at the idea of going back underground, but it was at least better than sewers. Cleaner, at least you hoped so. Better lit at the very least.

V walked step by step with you, Shadow on your right and he on your left. Griffon was still perched on your shoulders, and you swore you saw Nero eyeing your group with a bit of curiosity in his expression. You imagined he was intrigued by the strange companionship you had with the demons. V as well, since the poet seemed to be a very mysterious, closed off individual. Little did Nero know, V was occasionally brushing you as you walked, always wearing that smug little smirk when you looked up at him. He never met your gaze, but you know damn well the bastard was doing that shit on purpose. His hand touched your lower back at some point and you thought your heart was going to pound out of your chest.

Oh yes. Things were definitely different.

“I think splitting up would be a good idea,” Nero announced as the subway tunnel branched down into two sides, “Cover more ground that way.”

You frowned before V could agree, eyeing the tunnel with a hesitant look.

“You sure that’s a good idea?” You asked, frowning at the white haired boy, “Why do you guys always wanna split up? Literally that’s the worst idea, haven’t you guys ever watched a horror movie in your life?”

V shook his head, “I don’t believe I have.”

Both you and Nero stared at him for that revelation, a mixture of shock and realization coursing through you. Half of your mind expected that answer, yet you were still startled by it. How the hell had this boy never watched a horror movie? He must have been pretty sheltered...or the opposite, lived a life shitty enough that he never found the time or means. Both sounded awful to you, and probably to the outraged demon hunter next to you.

“Not one?” Nero demanded, “Shit, we need to change that.”

V let out a light sigh, eyeing you both like you were lunatics as he replied, “At a time not now. We need to make haste,” His gaze landed on you, softening considerably as that smirk came back, “I will agree that Y/N raises a point. If we are both traveling in the same direction, I see no reason why we couldn’t share the same path.”

It felt nice when V agreed with you. You were such a simple bitch, his words made you beam in delight. Not only did he decide your plan of action was correct, now you could spend some time with Nero as well. Girls night before, now it was daytime with the lads. You could admit there was a lot of testosterone in the group now, but that was fine in your opinion. You wanted the chance to fight alongside the demon hunter, you were willing to bet there was a lot his fighting style could teach you. Only downside to this was less alone time with the poet, but judging by the weird, magnetic way you two were hovering around each other...it wouldn’t be an issue.

“Fine by me,” Nero shrugged, rolling his shoulders a bit as he pointed his pistol at the two tunnels, “Which one should we pick…?”

You rolled your eyes at his theatrics, giving him a light shove to the right side, “Nico is right, you are such a dork. Just go.”

Nero huffed a bit, putting his pistol back as he started making his way down the tracks, “You’re no fun.”

“I’m an appropriate amount of fun,” You replied in an amused tone, stepping back by V’s side to keep in step with the poet, “I’m just impatient.”

V let out a low hum, pulling out his poems as he walked beside you. You caught a glimpse of the pages, surprised when you noticed what looked to be hand drawn artwork and writing. It didn’t look like this book was printed, but instead was hand made lovingly by someone. You didn’t get to glimpse much, looking away before you were caught peeking. Besides, the peace and quiet wasn’t going to last long anyway. Your foresight began to flare, signaling upcoming demons, making you stop in place to whistle between your fingers and alert the others.

“Get ready,” You warned when Nero and V looked at you, pulling out your daggers, “We’ve got company.”

Somehow, the train tunnels were worse than the sewers.

Hours. You were stuck in there for hours fighting demons. New ones this time, stronger ones. Lizard-like creatures, bigger things with bigger attacks. On one hand, you got to see Nero’s fighting style a bit more, and him being there eased your need to use your own abilities. On the other hand...so much fighting. The subway was crawling with enemies and roots, so much so that your foresight barely stopped flaring. It was pretty annoying, so you just stopped announcing when battles would occur. Because they were always occurring. You were hating it a lot more than the sewers, only difference was there were actually safe places to sit and relax here.

You stopped once or twice, forcing the two boys and the demons to eat. Nero seemed perplexed with your attachment to food, but otherwise didn’t complain and shoved whatever it was you provided down his throat like a gremlin. V still ate his slowly, carefully, like he was savoring it. The brief moments for resting and chowing down were always short lived, interrupted by demons whenever they could slip their gross little noses in. You were a fairly patient person, but you were beginning to associate the underground with just terrible things. Only this time you were being smart about your energy, and keeping close to V and letting Nero do his thing. Which Nero didn’t mind, the kid loved to fight and be brash.

You reached what appeared to be a boarding area for trains, wide open and filled with benches. Nero let out a whoop of delight, setting on the demons with all the energy in the world, certainly more energy that you had for that late in the day. It must have been four in the afternoon by then. You exchanged a glance with V, opting on sitting down on a nearby bench to watch Nero’s fighting style while you sipped water. V opened his book again to read that poetry, letting his summons do all the work. You and he were similar, he wasn’t enjoying it either. Just out of necessity, a bit of a tired look in his eyes as he murmured those familiar words, stepping to the side to avoid enemy attacks. He did, however, seem to have fun in some instances of battle, like Nero’s high energy was feeding into his own level of extra. He was taunting more now than ever before, and getting more ridiculous.

You wrapped your tendrils around him gingerly, ready to move him away at a moments notice. Nero seemed fine, whatever arm he was using making him a hoppity son of a bitch. He was zipping all over the place.

“How do you have so much energy?” You complained to him, crossing your legs and letting out a light huff as he shot a demon in the head over and over, “It’s ridiculous.”

He let out a light laugh, kicking the demon away and taunting lightly before he replied to you, “Only thing I’m good at is kicking demon ass!”

You smiled ruefully, highly doubting he had zero other skills. At least he was having fun. They were certainly widdling the demons down fast, loud explosions and crackling filling the room with their attacks. A demon went whizzing past you, disintegrating as you winced and leaned to the side. The only problem when fighting with Nero’s aid is that a lot of his attacks sent the demons flying away or knocked back. You partnered well with V’s fighting style, but Nero seemed used to doing shit on his own.

“Pin them to a wall.” V growled to Shadow, the cat immediately responding and sending a dozen spikes into an enemy. Sensations of honest to god arousal traveled through you, ones you tried to shake as you quietly sipped water. You were thirsty for something alright. Every time he said something like that you were sent into a tailspin of bullshit, craving, and misbehaving thoughts. You just couldn’t behave it would seem--you had never felt such a chemistry with someone before, nor such a high amount of attraction. There was just something about the poet that was drawing you in.

Way too fast. But that only excited your dumb, idiotic brain.

When the last demon was finally dead, you let out a sigh of relief, hopping up from the bench and stretching your back with a soft groan. Finally, some peace, even if it would probably be short lived.

Nero flicked some blood off his metal hand, cracking his neck before turning to smirk at you.

“I’m gonna go scout ahead a bit,” He said, glancing between you and V for a moment, “You two chill for a bit, I’m gonna clear the way.”

“You sure?” You asked, leaning a hand on your hip, “Promise you’ll shout if things get too rough.”

He laughed, flexing his metal fingers as he replied, “Shit gets narrow up the escalator. I’ll scream like a banshee if I need some help, that good for you?”

You smirked, “I’m down. Have fun, be back before dark.”

“Yes, mom.” Nero mocked.

He gave you a single finger salute, hopping up onto the escalator and sprinting up and out of view. V let out a low hum of relief, leaning against a nearby pillar and closing his book with a low thud. He didn’t look too bad yet, thank god. Griffon was shaking out his feathers and huffing, landing on your shoulders so he could watch the demon-hunter disappear up into the subway.

“Brat sure has a lot of energy,” He grunted, closing his eyes a bit and preening his feathers, “Can’t relate. Sick of dealing with these fucking lackeys. Lower level bastards.”

You smiled sympathetically, patting his feathered head, “You’re doing great, sweetie.”

He grunted, settling down and closing his eyes to rest a bit. V seemed to sense he was tired, so he lifted his cane, summoning the bird back along with shadow in an instant. You blinked in surprise, not used to Griffon returning as well. The instant he did, his tattoos went from slightly faded to flat back, writhing a bit before settling on his smooth, pale skin. You stared in awe for a moment before blinking, trying to shake the sensation from your mind. You were positive V saw you looking.

He walked over to you, cane tapping on the floor with each step as you sat back down on the bench. You wanted to look up at him, but this new energy between the two of you was making you a little nervous, a little hot around the collar. V tapped you under the chin with the silver-handle, tilting your head up a bit to meet his gaze and examine your face. His expression delighted you, making your stomach roll a bit with that nervous excitement you just couldn’t shake.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, giving you that smoldering look from under his lashes, “You haven’t exerted yet.”

You smiled lightly, tapping the end of his cane with your index finger.

“I’m fine,” You assured, eyeing him with a concerned look of your own, “How about you? How is that shoulder feeling?”

He made a big show of rotating it, flexing his arm a bit as he replied, “No worse for wear.”

That made you smile in relief, but it occurred to you that something was...more noticeable now that the fighting was done. You paused, tilting your head and holding up a finger to stop whatever the poet was going to say next. You were positive now, more focused and alert--light music was playing from somewhere.

Now that the area wasn’t filled with the sound of fighting, grunting, and screaming demons--you could hear the sound of faint violin music playing from the subway speakers. Light and gentle, strangely out of place in the broken, grimy setting. You blinked, meeting V’s gaze and putting a finger to you ear. You knew he noticed right away, those full lips parting a bit as he inclined his head. He looked absolutely entranced, that mischievous look appearing in his eyes as he looked up toward the ceiling. Looking for speakers, probably. You liked the expression he had, almost like childish wonder--the same look he got before doing his taunts.

You closed your eyes a bit, listening to the ringing chords of a violin and trying to find some peace in the moment. You could hear Nero lightly fighting up ahead, his echoing shouts and laughter still reaching the main subway platform. Other than that, you could hear just...the music. And V’s slow breaths. That closeness between the two of you seemed even more pronounced now that you and V were alone, truly alone for once in the entire time you had been together. You didn’t quite know what to say, but you wanted to say something--because you were sure he felt it too, this strange energy that had been blooming since day one. The aching, desperate need to be closer, better.

Before you could open your mouth, V’s fingers curled under your chin, making your eyes pop open to look at him.

He had a wry smile on his lips, half tilted upward as he held that same hand out to you.

“Shall I have this dance?” He purred, jade eyes shadowed in the dim light of the subway.

Your heart went racing in your chest, pounding like fists on steel doors. You felt that dumb, eager ache blooming in your chest again.

You smiled ruefully, taking his hand again and letting out a light laugh as he tugged you to your feet. The absurdity of the whole moment was making you giddy, hand entwined with his as he pulled you further into the clearing where just before those demon’s had been killed. God, his skin was so warm. Energized, squeezing your fingers with a gentle encouragement. His face was so very enticing, head tilted down to look at you as he gave you that crooked smile you so enjoyed. He did have a flare for the extra, only this was his first time openly involving you in it, inviting you to join. It felt very...personal.

Oh lord, you were in over your head. You were in wayyy over your head.

He tugged you against his lanky form, twirling you around to the sound of the music, humming lightly to the tune. Whatever the song was, he seemed to know what it was. You tried to follow his steps, smiling like a complete idiot as he took you step by step around the room. You felt...so many things. Embarrassed, elated, excited, giddy. You hoped your face wasn’t red from all of it, but your cheeks were already pretty warm. Once the tempo of the song picked up, he gave a light chuckle, wrapping an arm around your waist and lifting you briefly, spinning you around with a light squeak on your part. He seemed to be having a good time, hair waving about his face each time he moved you.

He looked...entrancing. And in that moment you knew just how deep in you were.

You had known him for four days if you were pushing it. Four days to become this smitten with the poet. In all your years of serving the Deity, you had never gotten close enough with anyone to feel romantically attracted to them. And even those you did get close to, none appealed to you on a physical attraction level. Never. You never thought of being touched by any of them, being held by any of them. But this...was new, different. Even as a human, had you ever felt this kind of chemistry before? You highly doubted it, there was something very special about V. Approachable, charming. Mysterious. Maybe you had been doing this too long, maybe all those years of serving with no regard for yourself had left you too lonely.

You didn’t care.

Dancing with V felt both too short and too long. The music came to a slow end, the final chords of a violin ringing out as V bowed to you, hair falling in front of his face as he bent his head over your hand. If you weren’t mistaken, you felt his lips brush your skin, ever so slightly. Your pulse was racing, you knew he could feel it. Instinctively, you took a few steps back toward him, his hand sliding down your wrist as you did so. His fingers felt so precise, gentle. Probing, even. Like he was tracing the very veins under your skin. You met his gaze, letting him pull you back against his chest while still gently griping your arm. A silent, unspoken thing passed between you, the building energy that had started blooming now turning to flower petals.

His hand ghosted along your jaw, an interesting expression on his face as he regarded your warm cheeks, soft lips, and gentle eyes. You could see yourself reflected in his, and that made your heart pound even faster. His thumb brushed your lips, gently tracing the lower one with a tenderness you had never experienced. It made you knees so very weak. You thought you saw his tattoos writhe a bit out of the corner of your eye, his companions sensing their master’s racing heartbeat but not aware of the reason why.

You wanted to kiss him. So badly.

And from the look on his face, he wanted to do the same to you.

But before you could bridge the gap, Nero’s loud voice rang out, echoing from his place further along the subway. You saw V close his eyes, a light sigh being drawn from his lips as the moment you shared came to a halt. You loved Nero dearly, but in that moment you had never been so disappointment in him.

“I found the exit!” Nero’s voice caroled, coming closer as he probably made his way back, “Ready when you guys are!”

You let out a slow breath, closing your eyes and mourning the lost opportunity. But much to your surprise, V didn’t pull away instantly like you expected. He lingered, stroking those fingers over the back of your neck, sending chills down your spine. His lips brushed your ear--you could have easily fainted, knees very weak from the whole experience. Not to mention unbelievably turned on--were you really that starved for attention, that needy? Felt like you were. You could have moaned at the feeling, christ his breath was so hot. Wanting, breathy.

“We will continue this,” V murmured, tone filled with heavy promise, “At a later date.”

With that, he turned away, fingers trailing through your hair and body brushing past yours just as Nero appeared right at the top of the escalator. You kept your back turned, hands pressed to your cheeks as you desperately tried to gain a molecule of composure. Your emotions were written on your face, you couldn’t imagine what kind of expression you were wearing. You wanted to bite your lip, and you wanted...so many things. Fuck, you were in so much trouble.

An unbelievable amount of trouble.

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18136193/chapters/43222517

Like what you see? Consider buying me a coffee <3: https://ko-fi.com/E1E7GCMU

Tagged: @just-call-me-no-name @silentwhispofhope @nightshadow4713 @slightlylunatic @efiicitia @raven-huntress

#devil may cry v #devil may cry #dmc v #dmc 5 #dmcv #v dmc #V x reader #v x self insert #fanfic #chapter 11 #ebony and ivory #ebony and ivory chapter 11

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solecize · 6 years ago

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REPLY 2009 ⠀ ⠀⠀.⠀⠀.⠀⠀.⠀(OR: 2009, YEAR OF US) — 002.

now playing: club no. 1 by super junior

summary: ten years ago, we found ourselves at a turning point in pop culture as the decade began to close. this was the year that brought the world obama, the death of michael jackson, and the highest grossing film of all time, avatar. however, in south korea, something big was brewing as well and it started off with infectious lyrics, colourful costumes, and sensational dance moves: kpop. the korean wave that started to build several years ago begins to find its footing in the international limelight in 2009. this was the golden era of kpop. this was the time of sorry, sorry. the debut of quite possibly the most different and groundbreaking girl group in korean entertainment, 2NE1. the rise of shinee, one of the most consistent boy bands of this era and beyond. the throne of bigbang would remain steady with their ventures into japan. and of course. . . snsd's gee that would solidify their place as the nation’s girl group and overtake their male counterparts. nothing can touch this legendary age.meanwhile, in the very city that milled and churned out these stars, eight teenagers were also coming to a certain close in 2009. youth was suddenly running out like grains of a darkened hourglass, as everything and everyone brought tension into their lives. where was the next step on their path? high school is nothing more than a cruel halfway point between childhood and adulthood, but this group of friends made the most out of it. after all, this is the youngest that they'll ever be. this age is the time where hopes rise higher than ever, where love burns the most passionately, and the desire for freedom expands the furthest. in 2009, we follow these teenagers' stories to the background music of the opening chapters of kpop's greatest legacies.but, ten years later at their high school reunion, where do we find them.”

or: highschool!got7, dancecrew!got7, coming of age, school reunion angst, reader x ?

APRIL 2006 (3)

Slick, strawberry ice cream never tasted so fulfilling until that day’s relentless sun. Though it was only spring time, it must have been at least twenty degrees outside and when the air conditioning system broke in our classroom, I was left an absolute mess. The workload of being a first year high school student was made into an unfortunate underestimation and the weather only caused more stress to my body.

“Yours looks good, I should’ve just gotten the same thing as you,” Youngjae frowned, as he looked at his own vanilla scoops. He leaned in to take a taste of my cone, but I merely interrupted with a noise of disapproval.

“Nuh uh. Nice try, Choi Youngjae, this happens every single time.” I turned my back so that he couldn’t take any and hummed.

All it took to convince him to skip his after school vocal lessons was a distressed IM, claiming that I had an emergency. Sure, it was probably wrong to use my loyal best friend just to have a companion to get ice cream, but he’d done the same thing on several occasions. I’d missed so much time at Hagwon because of him. Great minds think alike and Youngjae wasn’t even mad when I met up with him outside of his school with a carefree attitude, clearly not having any emergencies to worry about.

“I should’ve known,” he said upon seeing my figure approach him at the front of my school.

“Oh, shut up.” I frowned and punched his shoulder in what was supposed to be a playful way, but he nevertheless yelped at the contact. “I never get to see you anyway with you stupid training anyway. Live a little and spend the afternoon with your best friend!” At that, Youngjae grinned and he couldn’t say no. Next thing we knew and we ended up at our favourite ice cream shop.

We continued walking along the sidewalk a busy street in the Guro district of the city. It was only five o’clock and people were rushing to get home to their families; cars flying by, people trying to beat the rush onto the subway lines, bicycle lanes filled up. It was busy as ever, as Seoul as ever. There weren’t that many people our age around, as most first year high school students like ourselves should be at after school lessons.

“Do you ever wonder what will be like when we’re like them?” Youngjae was eying some older college kids inside a random cafe that we were walking by, as I tried to keep my long hair out of the ice cream.

Two of them appeared to be a couple, while several other kids surrounded them at the same table. They were laughing, listening to music, and flipping through American magazines and I could feel jealousy running through my veins. Their parents weren’t frantically calling them when they were late by a minute or two returning from tutoring or yelling at them to grow up. They were grown.

I replied, “I wonder what we’ll be like when we’re like them.” Pointing at a pair of people trying to hail a taxi, a man and woman dressed in business casual attire, it seemed like they were making their way back to home. I wanted nothing more than to grow up and relish in unknown liberation.

Youngjae followed my gaze and thought about it for a moment. “You’ll be whatever it is what you want to be—” I rolled my eyes at that. It wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t exactly sure of what I wanted in a career, lacking passion for any field or hobby. My parents wanted Jinyoung and I to pursue lavish medical careers, but he was the only one with the endurance and intellectual capabilities to do so.

“—And you will be a successful singer.”

A light tint of pink spread across Youngjae’s cheeks, ever so bashful regarding his ambitions. However, there was no doubt that he was eventually going to be a star one day. I’d never seen such comparable talent to him.

I continued on, “Maybe we don’t have to wait so long! Didn’t you say that your company is looking to debut a new group next year?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he dismissed my statement, “it’s not a guarantee, though. And what if they don’t even pick me to be apart of the group?”

“You’ve been under their management since the seventh grade! They’d be crazy to cut you.” I was still able to recall the day of Youngjae’s first audition to the company, where I’d accompanied him on the weekend instead of studying at home with Jinyoung. Nerves were never one to affect Youngjae, but on that day, he couldn’t stop shaking no matter what he did. It was only when he was finally called that he was able to take a deep breathe. He got the acceptance call the following few weeks after. I’d march right down to the company office myself, they wouldn’t dare take away my gifted best friend for four years just to cut him out of their boy group.

Youngjae shrugged, then looked back to where we were observing the two adults. They were gone. “By our thirties, we’ll be happy for sure and that’s all I care about. Maybe you’ll finally grow out of Super Junior—hey, don’t give me that look!”

I quickly rid of the bitter expression on my face and laughed. Tugging his arm, I told Youngjae that we should go to an arcade instead of watch strangers like some creeps. I thought, maybe this part of being a teenager isn’t so bad. For now, I was willing to embrace this and so was he.

PRESENT DAY (4)

“Remember that time that Bambam knocked over an entire shelf?”

Letting his name slip past my lips felt so foreign, it seemed like forever since talking about my old friend. It wasn’t like recalling a one time anecdote, but a piece of life. Jinyoung emulated the odd sensation, not hiding the way he paused his walking for a split second at the sound of Bambam’s name. Then, after getting over the initial feeling, he burst out into laughter.

Shoulders shaking with each chuckle, Jinyoung replied, “My god, that was fucking hilarious. It was after we found out that we qualified for the NDCCs, right?”

“And Mr. Lee gave him a weeks’ detention for it!” I nodded vigorously. There was no way that my mind could forget that day, especially not the priceless looks of excitement on the boys' faces. The memory was fresh in my mind, as if it had occurred the afternoon prior.

The two of us were the lone people in that empty hallway after choosing to explore the second floor. Jinyoung claimed that he wanted to find his first year homeroom for old times sake. He’d walked straight past the library, probably because of all the last minute studying that he used to do in there that continued to haunt him, but I took a quick glance inside. The interiors were darkened, but I could make out the familiar layout of the room for the most part. I hadn’t exactly spent a lot of time in there unless I had to during my years, so Bambam was the first thought to come to mind.

“Hey, our old lockers are somewhere here!” My brother exclaimed, having made his way into another corridor.

I didn’t need to follow his voice, remembering exactly where the lockers were. It wasn’t quite Jinyoung’s locker, but he often used Jaebum’s instead of his own, as it was situated on the undesirable basement floor. Mine was just two away from their shared space and by the end of high school, the three of us claimed the entire block as our own.

Passing by the iconic music room, I found Jinyoung kneeling in front of a block of lockers. I had to stop myself from entering, as I figured that it would be best to do it later when he was here. Watching Jinyoung peered into each one, probably trying to jog his memory, it was odd to realize just how old we’d become. Spending countless of days in this hallway for three years, yet my brother couldn’t even remember which locker was Jaebum’s.

“Oh! This one’s mine!” I giggled, spotting the locker immediately, even from the distance I was at. Stepping forward, I pointed to the one that was three away from mine. “This is the one you’re looking for.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “How did you figure that out?”

Smirking, I gestured to the corner, where faint lettering was carved into the metal. There was no way I was going to leave Haerin without a trace, so as I ran my thumb over the imprint ‘SJ,’ I was more than pleased to see that it lasted for ten years. I nearly forgot that I did this, but it was probably one of the best decisions I made before graduating.

“What—holy shit.” Jinyoung looked at the ‘SJ’ carving and was silent for a moment, blank stare. Then, he burst out into hysterical laughter, to which I made a face at. “And you were even playing, what was it? Club No.1! You played it on the way here. Some things never change, huh?”

He was right. Some things never do change and I was content with that, knowing I still had a bit of that high schooler in me. It didn’t matter if it was Super Junior or that childlike innocence, or even my first loves that blossomed in these hallowed halls. The years pass, just as my branches grow rapidly, but returning to my roots reminded me of how much I longed for those days once again.

MARCH 2009 (5)

Lee Donghae's angelic voice continued to ring in my ears the whole train and bus ride home from the fan meeting. It was like a broken song stuck on replay on my MP3 and there was not a single thing I could do about it—not that I wanted to. I'd felt as though I was on cloud nine the entire time I was there, despite the fact that their thirteen members were just little dots from the seat I was in. Minyoung swore up and down that Siwon stared right at her for the majority of the event and we argued about it for the entire commute home, just before she got off at the bus stop ten minutes before I did.

Skipping school was practically unheard of, but it was a risk I was willing to take for Super Junior.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school!" she waved at me happily, as she strolled out of the bus with ease. I could never imagine having such nonchalance in my step after missing a full day of class to see an idol group, not with my hardass parents. However, Minyoung mentioned that her mother didn't care, too busy drinking her life away.

Unfortunately for myself, things were different. I paid Jinyoung almost my entire part time salary for him to do his imitation of our father's voice and call in sick for me with the school. Nobody seemed to suspect a thing when the two of us "left" for classes in the morning, as I wore my uniform and carried my backpack. In reality, I had to make a beeline for Minyoung's house, where I would change into some more fashionable clothing and eventually, the two of us left for the noon fan meeting. We made time for us to be able to hope on the bus back home. Needless to say, everything went smoothly, at least up to this point. Sneaking out was fine, but sneaking back in? A different story and certainly the nadir of the day.

It felt obligatory to repeat examples of excuses out loud over and over again as I made my way home. "Sorry I'm late! I had a few questions to ask about my physics test. . .no, no, that sounds too forced . ."

Any car that passed by me on the street that even had the slightest of semblance to my mother's or any patrol vehicle that belonged to the Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency granted a near heart attack. However, nothing came of these scares, so I continued walking along the sidewalk towards my house. There were some crazy things that teenagers did for their idols.

The only way to about successfully sneaking back in was the secret path. It led to behind the house from a convenience store that Jinyoung and I used to play in when we were kids. Looking back, we were absolutely insane. It was the scariest alleyway that I could conjure in my imagination, for it barely fit two bodies and allowed very little light to seep through. If it wasn't in broad daylight, I wouldn't be crossing this way at all. At the very least, it wasn't long after squeezing through that I could barely make out the house in the distance.

However, as soon as I stepped out of the alleyway, a large figure came out from the sides.

"Shit!"

Enduring the wind was knocked straight out of my chest, the other figure didn’t even seemed fazed at the sudden collision of bodies. I stumbled back a few steps, sputtering as I did so. There was a light chuckle and when I looked up, I saw Jaebum’s cheeky smile.

“And where do you think you’re coming from?” he raised an eyebrow at me and my heart stopped. I obviously did not think this far; Jinyoung’s friends were usually hanging around the house. I didn’t think that any of them would cause trouble, but then there was Jaebum, who would gladly give a side comment to my parents about my truancy just to see the look on my face.

I tried to play it off, pulling the best casual shrug that I was capable of. “School. I had to stay after school to ask Mr. Go some questions.”

“Last time I checked, you weren’t in class, especially without uniform on." Jaebum raised his eyebrows and reached out, touching my hair. "And you actually brushed your hair? You definitely went somewhere else."

There was no way. There was no way in hell that today was going to be one of the only days in the year when Im Jaebum, notorious class skipper, decided not to keep up with his hooky playing ways. However, looking at his semi pristine school uniform—I wasn’t going to count the buttons that he so cheekily left open on his dress shirt—I groaned. He had gone to class, which I didn’t count on.

Jaebum continued, "How come you haven't cut your hair? I think you'd look good with short hair." Giving unsolicited styling advice was his way of calling me boring.

“You. . .I can’t believe you actually showed up.” Last year, rumours flew around that Jaebum missed almost two weeks worth of classes in a row. In hindsight, saying two weeks doesn’t sound like lot to non Korean students, but there was no such shirking culture in any school in the country and especially not one as competitive as Haerin. Even the lazy students at least showed up and took a nap in the back of the classroom as opposed to outright not attending.

The said male grinned. “New year, new me.” Jaebum glanced at me, probably trying to figure out what exactly it was that I was up to. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Okay, fine. I skipped.” There was no reason for me to not admit it, Jaebum was going to force it out of me either way.

“Why?

“SuperJuniorfanmeeting,” I mumbled, my string of words sounding more like a singular, incoherent mess.

Jaebum just chuckled at me, getting a real kick out of the situation. It wasn’t like I was the goody-two-shoes type, but I’d always used to berate him for shirking his school work. I didn’t actually care, but it was more on the basis that I figured that he and Jinyoung didn’t have to hang out and be so damn loud in the living room if they would just see each other at school.

“Say that one more time, please.”

Setting my jaw, the glare I sent his way could’ve killed. “Super Junior fan meeting.”

At that, he only let out a loud scoff. “You skipped for Super Junior? Are you for real?” His chiding was nothing new to me.

There was one time when Jaebum tried sneaking into our house late at night to hang out with Jinyoung, as if they were a fucking couple. Who the hell does that that? Unfortunately, my brother’s room did not have a window and the two politely asked me if Jaebum could go through my window, then sneak through. I said no. That was supposed to be that, but the twat ended up knocking at my bedroom window at two in the morning anyway.

If it weren’t for the fact that I was up late on Facebook, I would have probably strangled Jaebum. I had no choice but to let him in, though, and the first thing that he did was make fun of the amount of Super Junior merchandise that I had in my room. Posters, stacks of albums, stickers, mugs, you name it. That was how I discovered Jaebum’s hatred for idol groups and how he discovered his favourite thing to use in order to vex.

“I don’t want to hear it, asshat.” Grumbling, I tried to move past him, but he stayed put.

Jaebum said, “Nope. I’m not going anywhere.”

It was almost time for my mother to return home for work and I couldn’t believe that he was choosing to play around now out of all the time he had in the world. He folded his arms across his chest, as if waiting for me to do something. The light shone on his medium brown hair and illuminated his playful expression.

“I need to get home!”

“And I need to get to the studio, but your dumbass brother decided to take his time flirting with Ms. Jung after school, so now I have to wait for him.”

I rolled my eyes, how very Jinyoung of him to do. Despite being senior class treasurer and all around boy next door, I knew my brother well and he wouldn’t be related to me if he didn’t have his sly side. He used his role on student council and high rank in academics to stay behind to talk with teachers, often to schmooze or just to flirt like he did with Ms. Jung.

“Gross. Just go to the studio by yourself, then,” I replied.

Jaebum chuckled. “No, because I’m a good friend who waits for his friends, especially when the said friend is getting details on beautiful Ahyeon."

I had to snort at that. "You boys are disgusting. Just get going so I can." Hearing him talk about the Geometry teacher like that made me want to throw up without hesitation. High school boys, especially overly horny ones like Jaebum, always did in the hallways after any one of Ms. Jung's classes. She was young, pretty, and everyone raved about how she looked like some actress from Boys Over Flowers.

He was still in front of me. There seemed to be something we wanted to say, judging by the confusion playing in his eyes, but nothing came out. Tapping my foot, I raised my wrist to my line of sight and saw that I didn't have much time left.

"You should audition for the crew," Jaebum suddenly blurted out, though his tone stayed as nonchalant as ever.

That took me by surprise and for that, I looked at him like he was crazy. "Me? Yeah, right. Now stop wasting my time and—"

"—Jinyoung said you dance, you can't dance for us?" he cut me off. I was sure that he was joking, but judging by the sternness and what seemed like shame for asking me, I realized that Jaebum was indeed serious about his suggestion.

Obviously somebody had brought myself up as a suggestion for the crew member replacement. I wouldn’t know why Jinyoung would even do that, he was fully aware that I would repudiate such an idea. I couldn’t even imagine myself having to hang out with the boys or stand on a stage.

"Yeah, in middle school. Not anymore, I don't like dancing."

If there was one thing that could wound Jaebum, it was speaking ill of dance. He cringed at my words, face scrunching up. I didn't have any passions in the way that he and my brother had dance, so I couldn't understand. The sentence allowed made him want to get out of my way, side stepping.

He said, "Well, if you change your mind, we're in the studio on Friday. Jinyoung and Mark have said good things about you, so I thought that it wouldn't hurt to ask, but I guess I was wrong."

I shrugged and was on my way, thankful that he managed to give up on me. Picking up a speed walk, I dashed towards the back door of my house and made sure that the interiors were empty before doing so. As I closed the door, I couldn't help but look over at Jaebum and I saw that he was still in that spot. It was embarrassing that not only Jinyoung told the crew about me, but Mark as well. Thinking about it made my face go hot and with that, I shut it and hurried to change before after school tutoring.

#—— REPLY 2009.#got7 #got7 fanfic #got7 series #got7 imagine #got7 scenarios #got7 au #got7 reactions #got7 angst #kpop fanfic #got7 fluff

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acidmatze · 2 years ago

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"The axe forgets but the tree remembers" is so important. Like... my parents and my brother scoff when i say i dont want to have any contact with my brother whatsoever

"Pfff okay but I dont know what he has ever done to you"

Maybe YOU forgot but I remember very well when

I as a literal toddler would scream and cry for mom to help me when he would beat me up upstairs. My brother being 18 at that time. He's 14 years older than me. "Oh but all siblings fight sometimes!" would be my brothers go to excuse. Yes, when one is like 10 and the other 6. Not when one is an adult beating up a toddler. And i KNOW she could hear me cuz later she would complain about me "talking too loudly". And if she can hear me talk in my room upstairs then she would hear screaming just as easily. I will never know why she chose to ignore me. When my brother would lock me in the basement or in his room in the basement and wanted me to program his stupid computer. He was reading out code at me and if i wouldnt be able to type quickly enough he would sneer at me and hit me.

The relief i felt when he joined the military and wouldnt be at home for weeks and i could finally exist without fearing to make any noise or else he would barge into ma room and grab me and drag me away cuz he wants something. Or he would just hit me. And somehow even when he was away, everything was always about him at home.

How when he was at home and my friends were over he would pretend to be all friendly and funny and silly and scold me later for flinching when he addressed me. "Why are you flinching? Are you stupid? Why are you doing this, your friends will think im hitting you! How dare you make me look like a bad guy in front of your friends!"

When he finally moved away and for a blissful but short time my mom acknowledged that i also existed. Before i would only exist to serve my brother by letting him do whatever stupid shit he wanted to do and drag me around and lock me up and say Yes to whatever he says. Even if it was benign stuff like helping him cook, I was NEVER EVER allowed to say no. Keep in mind I would be like 6 years old. I was never ever allowed to do my own stuff, kids stuff. Not when my brother was around. I was simply a tool or some shit. To come running when he called. To do whatever he says. But after he moved away for a short time I existed as a person in my moms eyes. Until he started having "issues" with his wife and child. (The "issues" being him hitting my nephew and abusing him and later his daughter too and his wife not wanting that) Ofc my brother never does anything wrong ever so his now ex-wife was the Evil Evil Witch of accusing him of doing those terrible things even though i WAS THERE. I was literally just sitting there, witnessing him hitting his son. When we were over for a visit i would play with my nephew and my brother would excuse himself to go to the bathroom and then Barge into my nephew's room and just smack him. And then hit him again if my nephew started crying (ofc he would cry, he was like 7, are you noticing a pattern yet?) "Oh but Marcel used to be such a bright young boy I wonder what happened to him?" would my parents lament when later my nephew wouldnt talk much, not participate in many things and just withdraw from everything all the time. Oh boy gee i sure wonder what happened! Its probably completely unrelated to my brother beating him up all the time! Thats a mystery for sure!

How later as a young adult i would retreat to my room when he showed up cuz if i would leave my PC he would just waltz in there and fiddle around with it and "repair" it and you know for sure nothing will work after that. When i was at my bff and knew my brother would be over i would even call mom before and beg her not to let him use my damn computer because hes breaking it every time without fail. And every time, also without fail, when i would come home mom would gleefully announce that my brother absolutely did went into my room, snooped through everything and then went on my computer, deleted stuff he didnt agree with me having and "repaired" things that werent broken before but now sure were and nothing was useable anymore. How he was pissed at me having a PS2, 3, 4,etc and I shouldnt have stuff that he also doesnt have even though from early on i had to pay for everything with my own money while he would have stuff thrown at him.

How always, always, always, everything would be about him. Everyone's lives were supposed to revolve around him. If he is around, how dare we not talk to him and him only, how dare we discuss our own lives. How dare we HAVE lives of our own, dont we know we only exist to make him feel good about himself? We are just NPCs to him, pretending to be people having a life but in reality we are only there as tools. Every time anyone of us would.. you know.. have a life that exists completely seperated from his own he would rope that person back in. "Silly you, pretending to be a human. Only I am a human, dont you know that? No one of you is a person, only me."

#blablabla #and every one of my friends who ever met him told me the same thing #in his eyes they dont exist as people #no one does #he is the only Person in his world

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liketolaugh-writes · 6 years ago

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[Context: Sebastian is a LetsPlayer in modern times. He is still a demon and the events of Kuroshitsuji happened over a hundred years ago as appropriate. He does not currently have a master, having finished with his last some five to ten years ago. Because he enjoys human pastimes on occasion, he decided to amuse himself with this for a while. It’s set in the Marvel universe, insofar as metas are known to exist and he is known as a lightly closeted one. He is currently playing Undertale, and because of who he is as a person, has accidentally stumbled onto the Genocide route on his first playthrough.]

The character avatar walks down the purple hallway. In the top-left corner, Sebastian’s brows are furrowed. He looks unsettled, but is attempting to appear merely bored.

Sebastian: This is quite an unusual take on an RPG game, I’ll admit. I’ve never encountered one that attempted to make me feel guilty for progressing before. Toriel’s last words in particular were… well. I expect this is going to be quite an interesting letsplay.

The avatar reaches the hallway exit and goes through. On the other side, Flowey is sitting in a spotlight.

Sebastian: Oh, it’s you again. Now, you, I would not feel bad for killing at all.

Flowey: Hahaha… You’re not really human, are you?

Sebastian’s eyebrows lift as he reads the dialogue. For a moment, he looks amused.

Flowey: No. You’re empty inside. Just like me. In fact… You’re Ciel, right? We’re still inseparable, after all these years…

Sebastian’s brows furrow, and he pauses in reading the dialogue.

Sebastian: That’s an interesting plot twist, this early in the game. I thought I’d just fallen down. Perhaps I have escaped the Underground before? But then, why is it that I fell in again? To take revenge?

Flowey: Listen. I have a plan to become all powerful. Even more powerful than you and your stolen soul.

Sebastian scowls, but does not remark on the dialogue.

Flowey: Let’s destroy everything in this wretched world. Everyone, everything in these worthless memories. Let’s turn ‘em all to dust.

Flowey [computer-generated voice]: That’s a wonderful idea!

Flowey disappears into the ground, and Sebastian continues to frown at the screen. His scowl has eased.

Sebastian: That was… odd. This game is obviously not what it first appears. Is that my goal, then? To conquer the Underground? It seems frivolous and unnecessary, but it’s quite the take on the traditional RPG mechanic of slaughtering everything you come across.

The avatar begins to move forward again and soon encounters the door out.

The screen fades to black and then displays the title screen, UNDERTALE. It then switches to By Toby Fox, and then to black. Sebastian smiles.

Sebastian: As I said, quite an interesting game. I’m looking forward to continuing it. I expect it has some interesting lessons to teach, and perhaps some remarks on human nature as well. It’s a surprising contrast with the rather cute aesthetic.

Sebastian chuckles, and as the screen reforms on a snowy forest, the avatar begins walking right, and then pauses and interacts with the bush nearby.

[…!? There’s a camera hidden in the bushes.]

Sebastian: …Interesting.

The avatar continues right. The avatar passes a branch, and a handful of steps after the avatar passes, it breaks unexpectedly. Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: The music is appropriately ominous for such a setting. I do hope I have an encounter worthy of it soon.

The avatar starts to cross a bridge, and then stops on the left edge. A shadow begins to approach from where the avatar came from.

Sebastian: Speak of the devil.

Sebastian chooses a creaky, deep voice for the new character.

?: H u m a n.

The avatar turns around. The shadow sticks out its hand, and the avatar takes it. The shadow is suddenly lit, revealing itself to be a grinning skeleton in a blue hoodie, and a fart sound plays. Sebastian snorts, visibly surprised.

Sebastian: Well, that was rather anticlimactic.

?: heheh… the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. it’s ALWAYS funny.

Despite the change of font, Sebastian sticks with the original voice, raising one eyebrow and smiling in obvious amusement.

?: …that’s, uh. your cue to laugh. or, uh, to emote at all…?

Sebastian chuckles again.

Sebastian: They really are pushing the inhumanity of this character, aren’t they? They ought to be careful not to go heavy-handed, but it’s amusing as it is, and somewhat unsettling as intended.

?: …(gee, lady, you really know how to pick ‘em, huh…?) OK, that’s fine. everyone’s got their own sense of humor. i’m sans. sans the skeleton. im actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now. but… you know… i dont really care about capturing anybody.

Sebastian grins.

Sebastian: Perhaps you should, Mr. Skeleton. It looks like letting this one go will be bad for your health.

Sans: now my brother, papyrus… he’s a human-hunting FANATIC.

Sebastian: Ah, so is that the interesting battle I’m promised? Or- no. No, given the nature of the last boss, I don’t suppose any of these bosses are going to be truly terrible people. Hm. Does that mean I won’t be able to dispose of Flowey?

Sans: hey, actually, I think that’s him over there.

Sebastian: Another boss battle already? That seems unlikely, so I suppose this Sans character is going to help me as well.

Sans: i have an idea. go through this gate thingy. yeah, go right through. my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone.

Sebastian chuckles, head dipping as he smirks. The avatar and Sans rush right, quickly arriving at a small area containing a lamp shaped precisely like the profile view of the avatar, two rocks, and a shop stand.

Sans: quick, behind that conveniently-shaped lamp.

The avatar does not move. Sebastian raises his eyebrows.

Sans: …uh, okay, i guess you don’t have to.

Sebastian [softly]: …Strange.

From the right, a tall skeleton in red zooms in, stopping in front of Sans and the avatar. Sebastian chooses a high, crackly voice for this character.

Papyrus: SANS!!! HAVE YOU FOUND A HUMAN YET!??!

Sans: yeah

Sebastian: From any other game I would expect betrayal, but…

Papyrus: REALLY!?!? WOWIE!!!

Sebastian: Goodness, two lines and I already cannot wait for this character to be gone.

Papyrus: GUESS THAT’S SETTLED!!

The skeleton leaves out the right side. Sebastian snorts.

Sebastian: My wish has been granted.

Sans: that worked out, huh?

The avatar wanders around the screen and interacts with the lamp.

[Just a conveniently-shaped lamp.]

Sebastian chuckles.

Sebastian: I’ll admit, this game is quite funny when it isn’t resorting to bodily humor.

The avatar moves to the stand and interacts.

[It’s some sort of checkpoint or sentry-station. But there are bottles of ketchup, mustard, and relish sitting inside…]

Sebastian: I hope they don’t belong to the skeletons. I imagine that would be quite messy, and what a waste.

The avatar begins to move right but is stopped at the exit.

Sans: well, i’ll be straight-forward with you. my brother’d really like to see a human… so, y’know, it’d really help me out… if you kept pretending to be one.

Sebastian pauses, staring at the screen with an unreadable expression as Sans exits left.

Sebastian: Again with this, hm…? If not a human, then I wonder what I’m meant to be.

Sebastian smiles.

Sebastian: Perhaps a demon? Well, I suppose I’ll find out in time. …If I find out that the playable character is a metahuman, however, I’m going to be deeply disappointed in not only the game’s creator, but also every person who recommended this game to me. That would be an utterly pathetic plot twist.

The avatar exits right, and the approaches the nearby sparkling save point.

[16 Left]

Sebastian: Quite handy. But why is the text red…?

The avatar explores the area for a while, and then encounters a monster. The monster is identified as Snowdrake.

[Snowdrake flutters forth!]

Sebastian: Though I may come to regret it, given the odd ‘but nobody came’ encounters, I believe I’ll handle all of these now. I’ll clip in the images and dialogue of each new monster, however – for your amusement, yes?

The screen skips through several images without remark and resettles on the same stretch of path.

Sebastian: That didn’t take too long, did it?

Sebastian smiles.

Sebastian: Now we can progress the story without interference. I could do without the skeleton characters, myself, but they’re a necessary evil. Never mind- they’ll be gone soon enough.

Sebastian laughs, and the avatar exits right.

Sebastian: I did explore the top path, but there was nothing of interest. Ah, here we are.

Papyrus: SO SANS! WHEN’S THE HUMAN SHOWING UP???

Sebastian: Mr. Papyrus’ enthusiasm is amusing, but I’ve known enough people like him to be quite glad that his dialogue is text-only. Goodness knows how loud it would be.

Papyrus: I WANT TO LOOK MY SUNDAY BEST… OR AT LEAST MY TUESDAY PRETTY-GOOD.

Sebastian laughs again and shakes his head slightly.

Sebastian: A game with a sense of humor more sophisticated than a grade schooler, what a rarity.

Sans: don’t you only have one outfit?

Papyrus: YEAH, BUT I COULD STYLE MY HAIR!

Sebastian covers his mouth with the back of his hand. He is grinning, and his eyes glitter with amusement.

Sans: oh. right. good idea. say, why don’t you look over there?

Papyrus looks at the avatar. An exclamation mark appears briefly over his head. He turns back at Sans, who turns to the human, and then back to the human, while Sans looks back at Papyrus. This process repeats itself several times, rapidly speeding up, and Sebastian lowers his hand to smile in open amusement. Eventually, both skeletons stop, and then turn right.

Papyrus: SANS!!! OH MY GOD!!!!

Sebastian: That is entirely too many exclamation points, and I can picture the volume perfectly.

Papyrus: I’M DIZZY. WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?

Sebastian snorts, apparently caught by surprise.

Sans: behold.

Sans turns to his brother. The screen pans left to center on the avatar and reveal a rock.

Papyrus: OH MY GOD!!!

The screen shunts right again as Papyrus turns back to Sans.

Papyrus: WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME TO LOOK AT A ROCK.

Sebastian closes his eyes and covers his mouth with a gloved hand. A muffled snort escapes anyway and the corners of his eyes are crinkled. After a second, he removes his hand and shakes his head.

Sebastian: This game is entirely too much.

Sans turns back to the avatar.

Sans: hey, what’s that in front of the rock?

An exclamation mark appears above Papyrus’ head.

Papyrus: OH MY GOD!!!

Sebastian takes a deep breath.

Papyrus: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS.

Sebastian lets it out in a huff, closes his eyes, and tilts his head back briefly. After two seconds, he opens them again, and then continues without comment.

Sans: well. it’s not a rock.

Sebastian: A pair of geniuses, these two.

Papyrus: NOT A ROCK…? OH NO!!! BY PROCESS OF ELIMINATION!!! THAT MEANS IT’S A HUMAN!!!

Sebastian closes his eyes again, presses his palm to a forehead, and for a moment, laughs helplessly, quiet and breathy.

Sebastian: What an imbecile.

Sebastian opens his eyes and continues on, shaking his head.

Papyrus: AHEM!! HUMAN!! PREPARE YOURSELF!! FOR HIGH JINKS! FOR LOW JINKS! DANGERS! PUZZLES! CAPERS! JAPERS! BEING CAPTURED!! AND OTHER SORTS OF FUN ACTIVITIES.

Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: If I have any say in the matter, I will not be participating in a single one of those things, Mr. Skeleton. Particularly not with someone as obviously loud as yourself – my ears hurt and you’re not even speaking aloud.

Papyrus: REFRESHMENTS WILL BE PROVIDED… IF YOU DARE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!

Sebastian wrinkles his nose as Papyrus exits right.

Sebastian: Is that his laugh? How awful. I shall give him as little cause to do that as possible.

Sans turns to the avatar.

Sans: …and you don’t even bat an eye, huh?

Sans exits right.

Sebastian: Well, I wouldn’t want to give that moron any form of encouragement. That’s your job, is it not? Really, this Sans character is… quite suspicious, I’d say. Though not as suspicious as the playable character, naturally… Given that they seem to be on a warpath. Now, let’s see-

The avatar moves right and interacts with the stand nearby.

[There’s some narration on this cardboard box.]

[YOU OBSERVE THE WELL-CRAFTED SENTRY STATION. WHO COULD HAVE BUILT THIS, YOU PONDER… I BET IT WAS THAT VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN!]

Sebastian rolls his eyes again and sighs, muttering something inaudible before speaking.

Sebastian: Goodness, he does get into everything, doesn’t he? And self-congratulatory, too. I’d bet anything he isn’t a royal guardsman at all.

[(NOTE: NOT YET A VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN.)]

Sebastian pinches the bridge of his nose.

Sebastian: Ridding the Underground of this idiot will be a service.

The avatar moves right. An encounter appears.

[but nobody came.]

Sebastian: Ah yes, there it is. Very ominous… the first few times, at least.

The avatar continues right and crosses into the path of another station, this one sporting a bell. When the avatar reaches it, a dog emerges from behind the counter.

?: D-did something move? Was it my imagination? I can only see moving things. …hey! I can’t stop shivering all of a sudden. …Who’s there!?

An encounter overtakes the screen.

[Doggo blocks the way!]

Sebastian: Why would you announce your biggest weakness to the world immediately before initiating a fight? Really, now… I’ll take many things at face value in a PC game, but some of these habits are simply absurd.

Sebastian continues to mutter as the fight progresses, looking bored. Doggo is easily defeated, and the avatar moves on, exiting right.

Sebastian: I might have been more sympathetic if it had been a cat. Of course, a cat likely wouldn’t have announced its only weakness so easily, hm?

The avatar continues to travel.

[but nobody came.]

Sebastian: Yes, yes, I understand, everyone is dead. I am aware of that. I actually made that happen. It doesn’t appear to have decreased the amount of trouble I go to just to move, unfortunately.

The avatar reaches an intersection, pauses briefly, and exits top. A snowman appears onscreen and the avatar approaches and interacts with it.

?: Hello. I am a snowman. I cannot move. Traveller, if you could…

[(You got the Snowman Piece.)]

Sebastian: Well, that was simple foolishness.

Sebastian checks the Snowman Piece in his inventory.

[“Snowman Piece” – Heals 45 HP. Please take this to the ends of the earth.]

Sebastian smirks with too many teeth.

Sebastian: 45 HP, hm? I think I’d like more of that, if at all possible.

The avatar interacts with the Snowman again.

Snowman: Oh me, oh my. What are you doing? Soon there won’t be any of me left…

Sebastian: I’m taking your flesh for sustenance, isn’t it obvious?

[(You got the Snowman Piece.)]

The Snowman shrinks dramatically. Sebastian smirks, and the avatar interacts with the Snowman again.

Snowman: Stop… Please…

The Snowman collapses into a small puddle of snow. Sebastian chuckles, raising an eyebrow.

Sebastian: Well, what did you expect, giving pieces of yourself to a stranger? Quite foolish, as I said. You should never give of yourself, really – even those you trust can easily turn their backs on you.

The avatar interacts with the pile of snow again.

[A useless pile of snow.]

Sebastian: Only three, then. Well, that’s quite enough to be getting on with. I won’t need that many, with a small amount of luck and a fair bit of skill. And I like to think I have both in spades, don’t you?

The avatar exits bottom, and heads toward the right exit. An encounter spawns.

[but nobody came.]

Sebastian pauses, frowning.

Sebastian: …An interesting choice of mechanic.

Sebastian ends the encounter and the avatar exits right. Sans and Papyrus are waiting by a bridge on the other side.

Papyrus: YOU’RE SO LAZY!! YOU WERE NAPPING ALL NIGHT!!

Sans: i think that’s called… sleeping.

Sebastian: Regretfully, I’m actually on Mr. Papyrus’ side on this one.

Papyrus: EXCUSES, EXCUSES!

Sans and Papyrus turn to look at the avatar.

Papyrus: OH- HO! THE HUMAN ARRIVES! IN ORDER TO STOP YOU… MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES!

Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: Well, at least they bothered to come up with an in-universe reason for gratuitous puzzle-solving, I suppose. Once again, that’s better than most games do.

Papyrus: I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE… QUITE SHOCKING!!!

The avatar starts to walk across the patch of bare ground, and Sebastian blinks, and then frowns, and then laughs, the corners of his eyes crinkling in amusement.

Sebastian: I think I could get along with this character.

Papyrus: FOR YOU SEE, THIS IS… THE, INVISIBLE… UHHHHHHH…?

Sebastian: Yes, Mr. Skeleton, not everyone is willing to play along with your foolish and pointless antics. I see this character’s attitude is going to save me quite a bit of time.

Sebastian actually looks slightly put-out by the notion.

Papyrus: HMMM… YOU MUST BE HAVING CULTURE SHOCK. YOU SEE, WHERE I COME FROM, IT’S A LOVING TRADITION. TO SUFFER THROUGH HORRIBLE PUZZLES FOR NO REASON.

Sebastian sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Sebastian: This feels oddly familiar, for some reason… Though of course, as the playable character is the one visiting here, they are indeed being rather rude. It saves me time, but not that much time, I suspect.

The avatar continues to approach the skeletons.

Papyrus: SO, UH, JUST WALK BACK THERE, AND…

The avatar does not move. Both skeletons turn south.

Papyrus: SIGH… WHY COULDN’T WE GET A HUMAN THAT LIKES PUZZLES???

Papyrus exits right.

Sebastian: My amusement at the character’s attitude aside, I would have preferred to be allowed to play the puzzles as I wished. They are a fundamental part of this sort of game, after all.

The avatar moves towards Sans and interacts.

Sans: it would make my brother happy if you played along.

Sebastian: Surprisingly, that is not my primary concern.

The avatar exits right, crosses the bridge on the other side, and passes by several trees and a snowball.

Sebastian: I’ve said it a few times already, but I’m continually fascinated by many of the stylistic choices this game makes. They all seem to be geared in a certain direction, but I’m not sure I understand what they’re trying to say as yet. I assume I will later.

The avatar exits top right, walks past both doghouses, and then returns left. Sebastian grimaces.

Sebastian: Dogs.

Eventually, the avatar exits bottom-right and emerges with the two skeletons again, and a piece of paper on the ground to their left.

Papyrus: HUMAN!!! I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR… SANS!! WHERE’S THE PUZZLE!!!

Sebastian: At this stage, what on earth makes him think I would complete a puzzle?

Sans: it’s right there. on the ground.

Sebastian: Somehow, I’m not surprised in the least.

Sans: trust me. there’s no way they’ll skip this one.

The avatar walks past the piece of paper. Sebastian looks pained.

Papyrus: SANS!!! THAT DID NOTHING!!!

Sans: whoops. knew i should have put down junior jumble instead.

Sebastian: Oh yes, I certainly would have been far more interested in that, rather than- whatever it is that’s on the ground there.

Papyrus: WHAT?!? JUNIOR JUMBLE!? FINALLY, SOMETHING WE CAN BOTH AGREE ON.

Papyrus exits right. The avatar moves to interact with Sans.

Sans: guess you don’t like word searches, huh? me neither. i’m more of a funny pages kinda guy.

Sebastian: Of course you are. They share your high-brow sense of humor, Mr. Skeleton.

The avatar exits right, finding a piece of paper, a table with spaghetti on top, and a microwave. The top wall has a small mouse hole. Sebastian smirks and the avatar goes to interact with the piece of paper.

[It’s a note from Papyrus…]

[HUMAN!! PLEASE ENJOY THIS SPAGHETTI. (LITTLE DO YOU KNOW, THIS SPAGHETTI IS A TRAP… DESIGNED TO ENTICE YOU!!! YOU’LL BE SO BUSY EATING IT… THAT YOU WON’T REALIZE THAT YOU AREN’T PROGRESSING!! THOROUGHLY JAPED AGAIN BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!!! NYEH-HEH-HEH, PAPYRUS)]

Sebastian chuckles.

Sebastian: Not much of an antagonist… or a human-hunter. And that laugh is still awful.

The avatar interacts with the save point, the spaghetti, and the microwave.

[10 left.]

[(It’s a plate of frozen spaghetti. It’s so cold, it’s stuck to the table…)]

[(It’s an unplugged microwave. All of the settings say “spaghetti.”)]

Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: Idiot.

The avatar continues on until it reaches two dogs, which come up from the south exit.

?: What’s that smell? (Where’s that smell?) If you’re a smell… (…Identify yoursmellf!)

The two dogs wander the screen around the avatar for a few seconds before converging on it.

?: Hmmm… Here’s that weird smell… It makes me want to eliminate… (…Eliminate YOU!)

An encounter triggers.

Sebastian: God, when will I escape the dogs?

[Dogi assault you!]

Sebastian: The story of my life.

Sebastian swiftly kills Dogaressa, and then the depressed Dogamy.

Sebastian: When will I be free from the dogs…

The avatar continues to make progress, and passes by what appears to be a completed puzzle. Sebastian looks put-out again.

Sebastian: I actually would like to complete a puzzle at some point, please!

The avatar exits right, finding a grayscale board with Papyrus and Sans on the right side, standing by a machine.

Papyrus: HEY! IT’S THE HUMAN! YOU’RE GONNA LOVE THIS PUZZLE!

The avatar starts to cross the board, and Sebastian sighs, a look of resignation on his face as the avatar stops halfway across.

Sebastian: This is getting rather annoying.

Papyrus: IT WAS MADE BY THE GREAT… ARE YOU SERIOUS? SANS!!! HELP!!!

A flicker of a smile crosses Sebastian’s face. He does not explain this.

Papyrus: THEY KEEP WALKING THROUGH MY PUZZLES! THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO LET ME EXPLAIN THEM. THEN THREATEN AND BAFFLE THEM WITH DANGEROUS JAPES.

Sebastian looks exasperatedly amused.

Sebastian: This character could not be less threatening if he wasn’t a skeleton. He can do as he likes, of course, but…

Sans: well, maybe they don’t like japes.

Papyrus: EVERYONE LIKES JAPES!!!

Sans: what about undyne? doesn’t she hate puzzles?

Papyrus: SHE HATES PUZZLES. BUT SHE LOVES JAPES.

Sebastian: The distinction is vital, of course- though I couldn’t tell you what it is.

Sans: that makes sense.

Papyrus: HUMAN!! WHAT DO YOU THINK!? PUZZLES OR JAPES? … … OKAY, THIS IS NORMALLY THE PART. WHERE YOU EITHER AGREE OR DISAGREE. AND DEPENDING ON YOUR ANSWER. WE SAY SOMETHING GREAT IN RESPONSE. …HERE, WHY DON’T YOU DO THIS PUZZLE YOURSELF.

Papyrus leaves a piece of paper on the ground and slowly exits right.

Sebastian: Well, he is attempting to be helpful. He would be meeting with more success, however, if he was remotely capable of comprehending the problem at hand. Perhaps being a skeleton is suppressing his self-preservation instincts?

The avatar ignores the paper and interacts with Sans.

Sans: hey… puzzles might be fun. if you tried them.

Sebastian looks irritated.

Sebastian: Yes, I actually happen to agree with that. If I was permitted to try them.

The avatar exits right, passes the dog house, and saves.

[6 left.]

Sebastian: Mini-bosses, I assume.

The avatar exits right again and encounters another puzzle, which Sebastian solves on the first try. He still smiles slightly as the avatar exits right.

Sebastian: Well, at least that wasn’t a complete waste.

The avatar exits bottom and finds Sans.

Sans: what’s up?

Sebastian: What, nothing else?

The avatar goes left and finds Sans on the other side unreasonably quickly. Sebastian smirks slightly and the avatar interacts with Sans.

Sans: say… are you following me?

Sebastian: Clearly, I have nothing better to do.

The avatar exits left, wanders around, and an encounter triggers. It is skipped without comment, and the avatar exits top again, and then right.

Sebastian: Quite a bit of fairly pointless wandering. Am I missing something, I wonder? Though that may be an engineered feeling.

The avatar continues on and finally encounters a number of small piles of snow, ending in a large, excitable armored dog which emerges from another. Sebastian pinches the bridge of his nose again.

[It’s the Greater Dog.]

Sebastian: My worst nightmare.

Sebastian defeats this foe easily.

Sebastian: There isn’t much challenge to this game, is there? Is that, too, deliberate?

Sebastian smirks.

Sebastian: Then again, I may simply be uncommonly good at it.

The avatar continues on, eventually coming to one end of a bridge. On the other, Papyrus and Sans waited.

Papyrus: HUMAN! THIS IS YOUR FINAL AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE!

Sebastian: I haven’t been given any challenges yet.

Papyrus: BEHOLD! THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!

Six different weapons emerge from various parts of the screen, in between the avatar and the skeletons. Sebastian raises his eyebrows and smirks.

Sebastian: Why, Mr. Skeleton, I never would have attributed such viciousness to your character!

Papyrus: WHEN I SAY THE WORD, IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE! CANNONS WILL FIRE! SPIKES WILL SWING! BLADES WILL SLICE! EACH PART WILL SWING VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN! ONLY THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY WILL REMAIN!!!

Sebastian looks unimpressed.

Papyrus: ARE YOU READY!? BECAUSE! I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!

A pause. Papyrus turns away. Sebastian looks irritated.

Sans: well? what’s the holdup?

Papyrus: HOLDUP!? WHAT HOLDUP!? I’M… I’M ABOUT TO ACTIVATE IT NOW!

Pause.

Sebastian: Oh, for goodness’ sake.

Sans: that, uh, doesn’t look very activated.

Papyrus: WELL! …THEY’RE PROBABLY GOING TO WALK THROUGH IT. AND IT WON’T BE ANY FUN AT ALL.

Sebastian: You know, I’m not surprised in the least. And, of course, he doesn’t at all realize that once he activates it, ‘just walking through it’ is actually the entire point…

Sans: hmmm… so this human thing was a bust, huh?

Papyrus: WELL. I MEAN. I’M EXCITED TO CAPTURE THEM. SO I’LL BECOME A FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN!!!

Sebastian: You may try, Mr. Skeleton.

Papyrus: BUT ALL THE TIME I PUT INTO THESE PUZZLES… IT’S KIND OF LIKE THROWING A BIRTHDAY PARTY…

Sans: without traps and fire?

Papyrus: EXACTLY!! IT’S POINTLESS!!!

Sebastian: Goodness. I am violently reminded of far too many people.

Papyrus: MAYBE YOU WERE RIGHT TO BE LAZY ABOUT PUZZLES.

Sans: me? right about something? really?

Papyrus: …YEAH!! WHAT AM I SAYING! YOU’RE STILL COMPLETELY WRONG! I JUST HAVE THE WRONG AUDIENCE! THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH FUN UNDYNE WOULD HAVE HERE! FLAMES, VIOLENCE, IT’S RIGHT UP HER ALLEY!

Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Sebastian: Far too many people.

Papyrus: SO I WON’T WASTE THIS PUZZLE ON YOU. I JUST HAVE TO APPRECIATE… THE FRIEND I ALREADY HAVE!!!

Sebastian: And perhaps your brother, supporting you every step of the way. But that’s none of my business, of course.

The weapons withdraw and Papyrus turns away.

Papyrus: PHEW! A VALUABLE LIFE LESSON!!! NYEH HEH HEH!!!

Sebastian scowls as he reads the laugh, but does not drop the in-character voice. Papyrus exits right.

Sebastian: Another waste of time, I see.

The avatar exits right, passing Sans this time. Soon it comes to a town, which is mostly quiet. The avatar enters a building, and what appears to be a shopping screen pops up.

[But nobody came.]

Sebastian: That flavor text is going to haunt me in my rare attempts to sleep.

Sebastian selects ‘read’ first.

[(There’s a note here.) Please don’t hurt my family.]

Sebastian: This isn’t a game, this is a lecture on why it doesn’t actually pay to murder people who annoy you.

Sebastian then selects ‘steal.’

[You took 758G from behind the counter.]

Sebastian: And plenty of good that does me if I have no need to buy anything because the shopkeeper has apparently run away.

Sebastian selects ‘take’ and takes one of each item. Then he closes the shopping screen and the avatar continues to explore the area. It is abandoned. The avatar interacts with the sparkling save point.

[Determination.]

The avatar wanders right and finds a monster. Sebastian raises one eyebrow and the avatar interacts with it. He chooses a squeaky voice for the character.

?: Yo, everyone ran away and hid somewhere. Man, adults can be so dumb sometimes, haha… Don’t they know we’ve got Undyne to protect us!?

Sebastian [deadpan]: A tiny moron.

The avatar continues right, but every building it enters is abandoned. Sebastian frowns.

Sebastian: Then why bother to develop the town so thoroughly at all…?

Finally, the avatar exits right into a misty area. It continues right until it is obscured, and then stops and appears as a shadow. A moment later, a shadow Papyrus appears as well. Sebastian sighs, frowning.

Sebastian: Ah. From the looks of the scenery, I’d say it’s time.

Papyrus: HALT, HUMAN!

The avatar steps forward.

Papyrus: HEY, QUIT MOVING WHILE I’M TALKING TO YOU!

Sebastian smirks faintly.

Sebastian: I suppose it is rather rude. But it won’t matter soon, Mr. Skeleton.

Papyrus: I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY. FIRST: YOU’RE A FREAKING WEIRDO!

Sebastian snorts.

Papyrus: NOT ONLY DO YOU NOT LIKE PUZZLES. BUT THE WAY YOU SHAMBLE ABOUT FROM PLACE TO PLACE… THE WAY YOUR HANDS ARE ALWAYS COVERED IN DUSTY POWDER. IT FEELS… LIKE YOUR LIFE IS GOING DOWN A DANGEROUS PATH.

Sebastian’s expression falls into something unreadable.

Papyrus: HOWEVER! I, PAPYRUS, SEE GREAT POTENTIAL WITHIN YOU! EVERYONE CAN BE A GREAT PERSON IF THEY TRY!

Sebastian stops, and remains silent and motionless for five seconds.

Papyrus: AND ME, I HARDLY HAVE TO TRY AT ALL!!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!

Sebastian does not react to either of these statements and reads them somewhat mechanically, though still in his chosen voice. The avatar steps forward again.

Papyrus: HEY, QUIT MOVING! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! HUMAN! I THINK YOU ARE IN NEED OF GUIDANCE! SOMEONE NEEDS TO KEEP YOU ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW! BUT WORRY NOT! I, PAPYRUS… WILL GLADLY BE YOUR FRIEND AND TUTOR! I WILL TURN YOUR LIFE RIGHT AROUND!!!

The avatar continues to walk forward. Sebastian’s voice has regained his energy, but he is still expressionless.

Papyrus: I SEE YOU ARE APPROACHING. ARE YOU OFFERING A HUG OF ACCEPTANCE?

Sebastian [softly]: Fool.

Papyrus: WOWIE!! MY LESSONS ARE ALREADY WORKING!! I, PAPYRUS, WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS!

An encounter triggers and Sebastian flinches, and then scowls.

[Papyrus is sparing you.]

Sebastian: He really is precisely that kind of idiot, isn’t he? Goodness.

Sebastian scowls for a moment longer, and then kills Papyrus in silence.

Papyrus: W-WELL, THAT’S NOT WHAT I EXPECTED… BUT… ST… STILL!

Sebastian cuts himself off. His eyes go wide and begin to glow bright crimson, and his canines lengthen into fangs. Three seconds pass, and then the glow fades from his eyes, his fangs shrink away, and he relaxes. He looks melancholy. Two more seconds pass, and he reads the dialogue in a quiet and unadorned voice.

Papyrus: I BELIEVE IN YOU! YOU CAN DO A LITTLE BETTER! EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK SO! I… I PROMISE…

Three seconds of silence pass.

Sebastian: Well. If I had known he was that sort of character, I might have paid more mind to him earlier on. All the same… it is too late now, I suppose.

Two more seconds of silence pass, and then the avatar begins to walk again.

#sebastian michaelis #kuroshitsuji #black butler #undertale #I WROTE THIS IN ONE NIGHT????#I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED???????#IT IS THREE IN THE MORNING AND I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT??????????#fanfiction #my writing #yes sebastian named his character ciel #he thought it was funny cause it was a helpless kid #WHAT THE FUCK @ ME

17 notes · View notes

groundramon · 4 years ago

Text

Statement

I didnt want to write this but I’m too fucking tired to respond to anymore people who go into my ask box. I’ve already gotten 4. Leave me alone. Also I apologize for not censoring @ ‘s. Obviously, do not send hate to anyone. Because I, unlike Peri, do not endorse that. Your white knighting will not hurt Peri and it will not help me - it will just help Peri feel more justified. So seriously, to any of my friends/mutuals/followers reading this - do not.

DISCLAIMER: I knew peri back when he still used they/them pronouns. If I ever accidentally refer to him with those pronouns, please don’t hone in on that, but please DO tell me about my mistake so I can go and fix that. This is not an excuse, its still wrong of me to do and i apologize if I accidentally do it anywhere in this post - it is an explanation and an invitation to hold me accountable without using it to destroy the whole point of my post.

DISCLAIMER #2: there is a lot of nuances to our relationship that I will never be able to describe in text. Such as the fact that as little kids, Peri and our other friends were the ones who “corrupted” my sense of humor (not in a problematic way, I was just a really naive little kid). We always made jokes about me being the least mature out of the group despite being the oldest.

DISCLAIMER #3: Yes, I made mistakes. No, I did not put out a callout about Peri “just to start shit”. I have apologized for my mistakes and learned better, and would be happy to write another apology genuinely outlining what I did wrong if Peri didn’t lie about me at every given opportunity.

I never put a callout on Peri until now. Maybe once when this first happened, i told people to unfollow him...I genuinely cant remember. I know I added him to my carrd as DNI, but he did it first, and I did it in response to that. And I removed it long ago. He also mocked me for calling him my abuser after one of his friends block evaded me to tell me to fuck off, and I found out said friend did that because Peri had been calling me “a danger to minors”, a racist (Peri is white and kept making Hetalia jokes up to a few months before we stopped being friends even though literally I never did) and a lesbophobe (ok peri is a lesbian), and more important, accusing me of stalking. His definition of stalking was to check his twitter profile obsessively. I know he did this to me, because he mentioned one of my discourse threads about SPOP and misrepresented my argument (he said I called Catra abusive - I called Catradora toxic and clarified that Catra is not an abuser). I’m not here to debate the definition of stalking, but heres the thing - at that point, it had been...I think 3 months after we broke off? And I hadnt checked his twitter since a week after we broke up. Literally. I’m sure I have no way of proving that now, OVER A YEAR LATER, but it’s true. I have proof about the hetalia joke. It was literally just a joke about my piccrews looking like America. But considering years ago, Peri (and our shared abuser who I dont plan on discussing very much publicly for obvious reasons) were the ones who got me into Hetalia, it hits a very sore spot with me to call me a racist right alongside our shared abuser who would go by japanese names for the ~aesthetic~. And thats the thing throughout all of this - did I do wrong by Peri? Absolutely, and I’m not going to remember everything flawlessly either. I’m not a flawless person and we were friends for like 7 years. But Peri is acting like he’s never done anything wrong in his life.

He also has a pattern of doing this - he accused me and his ex-friend Rainy (me and Rainy are friends) of making fun of our abuser’s art constantly and probably now making fun of Peri’s art constantly (we did make fun of the abuser’s art, but tbh it was gallows humor, and still not something I’m proud of. I have literally never made fun of Peri’s art. In fact, it makes me feel awful that I have a pit in my stomach whenever I see it, because I always enjoyed Peri’s unique art style up until the day we split.) He’s hurt so, SO many other people too. I can think of 13 just off the top of my head. The person who block evaded me to yell at me about something I literally never did? Literally went through the same shit me and Rainy did. Most of these people are not going to like me, and yet I could probably ask for their testimony and it would match my experience very closely, except the key difference being Peri gave up on them already.

Peri talked about me THREE TIMES in the last week (I believe - I didnt check dates and i literally found peri’s account accidentally while going through chicken smoothie. yes, it was my choice to scroll down and look for my name, but i was like, the second post on his tumblr and i was just trying to see if the posts were recent or old bc i thought he was inactive on here.

Here are all of the posts in case he deletes them - sorry I dont have timestamps, he went private so I cant get evidence, obviously.

Admittedly, the last one is pretty understandable, I feel the same way going through my old shit and seeing Peri’s posts/art/etc. But two times after that? But no I’m the one for starting shit, even though I can disprove both of this posts.

For that first post:

1. I didn’t debate shit, I asked a question because I saw a bi woman bring up a good point about why bi women shouldn’t be allowed to use butch/femme. Admittedly, asking your closest (not only! just closest) lesbian friend about all lesbian issues is kind of a dick move, but I was just trying to figure out how to argue against that point so I could support my lesbian friends. Now I realize that it’s wrong of me to bother getting involved on either side and I should just support my lesbian friends and their voices instead of getting directly involved. Yes, I was wrong, but i did not argue with a lesbian about whether or not butch/femme can be used by nonlesbians, I was ASKING A QUESTION.

2. I was trying to be a supportive friend. He was crushing on Rainy - who was identifying as a gay (trans) man at the time by the way, but I only ever see Peri use this as evidence for me being lesbophobic, not homophobic and transphobic. Gee I wonder why? Oh right, it’s because Peri hates Rainy and doesn’t care. Anyways, yes, it was wrong of me. At the time I didn’t understand a lot about comphet so I was just trying to be supportive. I do think I expressed relief when Peri said he and Rainy had broken up and realized their feelings were platonic, as i was confused about the whole situation. I was trying not to gatekeep Peri from his own damn community, because I’m not going to tell him his feelings are invalid when I’m not a lesbian. You cant get mad at me for policing lesbian labels, and then not policing lesbian labels enough- what?? I don’t think I did anything wrong per say in this situation because I was telling white lies to be a good friend but I do know better now and try to emphasize that “and if you find out its comphet and you’re still a lesbian then thats totally valid!!!” and in fact I even think I did that at the time??

Both of these instances (I believe) are buried on an old server that I no longer have access to. It’s possible they still exist. But I didn’t think this thing with Peri would last well over a year later so I didn’t bother documenting any of it. If peri has the screenshots, I would love to see it. This is not sarcasm, I genuinely want to be informed what I did wrong. I have a lot of great friends now and I would hate to hurt them by repeating mistakes I don’t even remember making. I can’t learn if I’m not informed. Once again, this is not sarcasm, irony, or passive aggressive. This is genuine. All I ever asked from Peri was to talk to me.

These are the last messages we exchanged before Peri’s goodbye message. This is what our relationship was like. And do NOT fucking tell me “Peri is clearly uncomfortable” - I’m autistic, Peri is neurodivergent, I do NOT read into subtext. I have an anxiety disorder and will literally never be able to function if I read into everything as passive aggressive. My autism does not excuse abusive behavior - but if you do not tell me about this behavior, which Peri never did, I can never get better. I do not read that “im fine” as a silent plead for me to leave him alone when he literally was always talking about how annoyed he was by people overanalyzing his responses, seeing hostility where there was none, and he specifically said not to read into short replies as anything personal. He said he had compassion fatigue. Which is why I left him be until I had no choice.

The last vent I mentioned said “Shitty friends, shitty friends” on his private twitter. I was worried it was about me and Rainy, because I figured if it wasnt, he would’ve told us who it was about. And he never did. So I’m pretty sure it was about us. After disappearing for the day and making me and Rainy worried that he was suicidal, he sent us this goodbye message in our mutual server (which the only reason i have this is because i sent it to another friend because i didnt know how to feel and needed guidance)

This goodbye letter, despite seeming nice on the surface, blamed the trauma that me and Rainy faced as well as our particular interests for Peri leaving us. One of my boundaries in our friendship was to tell me if anything was wrong so I could improve it and be a better person, and Peri broke that trust. He was absolutely a shitty friend in that regard. But just this goodbye letter I would’ve bought despite being disappointed...if he hadn’t called us shitty before.

By the way, at the time, the only thing I could think this would be about was not trusting Peri’s gut about some randos. Rainy and I wanted to give those people a fair shot, and Peri accused us of not trusting him because of it. You do not get to dictate who your friends do and dont hang out with, and you dont get to guilt trip them for hanging out with someone who has literally done nothing to you except act a little bit too much like our shared abuser Moony, wtf?

Peri also accused me of saying he and Moony were the same, when I did no such thing. Rainy did! And I immediately chastized Rainy for it, clarifying that I thought they were two different beasts entirely.

I forgot what I was talking about uhhh. Oh yeah!

I’m not the one still talking about you over a year later. I’ve moved on. Remove me from your DNFI. I didn’t remove you from mine because I realized I was the abuser and you were the victim - I removed you because I’m fucking done with this situation. I only brought it up with your friend because you LITERALLY BLAMED MY INTERESTS AT THE TIME IN YOUR FAKE-ASS APOLOGY. And what were me and Rainy talking about a bunch at the time? Digimon!! Aka the person who I talked to’s special interest! I told them I would fuck off if they asked and I encouraged them to talk to you about it and have a genuine conversation. Because I, unlike you, am a good person who lets people come to their own conclusions.

Also, you were 2 weeks away from being 16, and I was a few months into being 18. Here are some of our conversations about becoming QPPs!

Should I have entered a QPR with my 7+ year friend who literally shaped me into who I am today when they were almost 16 and I was already several months into being 18? Probably not! But adulthood isn’t just some switch that goes off, and I was a dumbass. Peri’s current GF is apparently being accused of being a predator, or something, according to one of Peri’s other posts? I dont know whats happening because im not! a fucking! stalker! but Peri of all people should know what it’s like to have a small age gap blown into something bigger than it is. Peri and I’s relationship didn’t change a whole lot after becoming QPPs - we were still close friends. But after literally growing up with Peri, I didn’t realize that I needed to enact healthy boundaries with someone so young when they were the one who used to “troll” me when we were kids (AKA pretend to be mad at me or pretend to be someone else and then say “haha just kidding!” just to cause problems).

Peri has clearly built me up to be some kind of villain in his head. And that’s fine, I really don’t care. I go months without thinking of Peri, and he’s just a bad memory whenever I do think of him - well until I found out he’s calling me a pedophile and accusing me of making callouts that I never did and generally has been a pot calling the white marble countertop grey for the past year or so. But I dont care. I DONT CARE.

But if you want me to stop warning people about you, its simple. Stop spreading lies about me. Take my name out of your public vocabulary. Take me and Rainy off your DNFI. I do not think about you, I do not talk to people about you very often, most of my current friends didn’t know the things you did until today because I had no reason to tell them.

For anyone uninitiated - all you need to know is that this person’s tumblr title is “an aphobic [reclaimable slur]” and so by admission they like to harass other minorities for fun. Seriously, you don’t have to be an ace inclusionist or even believe aphobia is real to just be a nice person, what the fuck? This post in particular is extremely telling.

Also they retweeted a post from someone with the username “panphobe” so.

Just a few notes. Hope the asexual who stans a literal stated aphobe gets tired of licking that boot soon. And Peri too. Your obsession with me is more unhealthy to you than it is to me. Just...drop it. I will only add to this if more accusations are thrown my way. I am done with you. You have a repeated behavior of this shit, and I want to add more things but they’re heresay from other people so I don’t feel comfortable adding them. But yeah. Stop hurting people. Stop bullying people and being angry and aggressive for fun. You’re not as cute as you think you are. There’s a reason this shit keeps happening to you. Get better soon.

As for me, I think I’ll spend the next three months going back to forgetting you exist. I liked it there. But you can keep thinking I’m stalking you if you’d like. I have all the proof and evidence I need that you’re a fucking liar right here. And most of your tweets accusing me of shit are deleted too. Now leave me the fuck alone.

PS, even if aroaces arent oppressed, sending them hate messages based on something they cant control is really shitty :) its not like we’re still a minority group or anything! I’m also literally trans, so you’re proving the fact that the bad exclusionists always target other LGBTs who happen to be aspec for their harassment :) but keep it going keep it going, every spiteful message sent to me specifically because im aspec and part of the LGBT community just fuels my agenda.

#stormy speaks #vent #peri #now leave me ALONE

0 notes

rant-n-raver · 4 years ago

Text

my experences with darkherobrine99

so i use to be his friend for about a year but not as long as my friend spec he knew dark for 11 or 12 years more then i have. and i only have this to say about all my encounters with him. here is the story enjoy.

so on tumblr when i was bored and seeing all the mlp character tumblrs i decided to make my own using a maker. and crimson cauldron was born and my last follower i had was darkherobrine99 so for a while he never realy talked to me but he did rp with me. but they would always lead to mainly sexual rps. with me. and then things got weirder. thats when i started geting suspicious when ever he left for months on end and then he asked for my discord. wich i gave to him. and the first thing he asked was are you going to the last brony con. and i told him no. and he said “ because my enemy shadow is going” and i told him “look if you are having trouble with the inverted shadow get fngr to help you” and he got deathly silent for another month or so. and got back and said hi and i also said hello so when i did that i had found out fngr did a stream on darkherobrine99.

and found out he was stalking the invertedshadow and stole his work of the elements of insanity. so as soon as i found that out i was like “ oh shit well then im gona still be his so called “friend” incase fngr or anyone needs him. so i kept him around and thats when things again got weird again. he started to want more nsfw rps with me but mainly with the cutie mark crusaders. and would always want them to have a love potion so he could fuck them and along with an age potion to make them older. now at the time i dident know how wrong this was and thaught nothing of it untill i watched many view points on why ageing up child characters are wrong. and now i see how wrong it was so i told him to stop and at first he did but he kept going to nsfw with the cutie mark crusaders and then luna and then me. so i told him to stop and he got angry with me that no one wanted to do this sort of stuff with him. gee i wonder why. so i just stoped talking with him. and that was my first encounter with darkherobrine99.

now on to the present day and months. so i have still had him as a friend after that year with him. and then i made friends with specdust. and for months and a year when we slowly became friends untill this day. and then recently he brought me into a call with our lovely darkherobrine99 because of the recent pedophile accusations on him from an amino app dark had run. and all he would do is deflect the accusations onto a guy he said left the internet years after this happened. so this person was null and void as in it did not matter so i told him all that matters is your accusations on you and you alone dark. and he continues to yell at me and only me wich i found very offensive like im not some weak woman who cant fend for herself. so i told him “ you do not use that tone of voice on me mr or else i will kick you from this call understand.so he did shut up untill after we all yelled at him he started to scream even more so i had to kick him from the call. and that was the second encounter with our lovely darkherobrine.

now forword to 4 day ago from today the 28th of 2020 another fun little incident with our lovely darkherobrine99 so i was on ponytown on the 18 plus server and i found him harassing a 15 year old girl dressed as a fluttershout. who shouldn't even be on an 18 plus server she should of gotten off. but she dident and dark attacked her all because she wouldent accept his friend request that she had a right to reject. and dark said every eoi fan has to be his friend or else he would get the creator to report them. and then all of the eoi ponys there were on there started to defend the girl wich i have to give props to good job guys. even before that he started to use the blm to insult some guy who just started to yell at darkherobrine. and after all this he even tried to doxx this 15 year old by giving out the girls facebook to keem star no less and everyone on his page. thank god on the girls part she had nothing personal on her page for him to go at. so thank god for that.

now on today and yesterdays incident. so yesterday i had another fun run in with our lovely darkherobrine99 and his lovely white knights. so yesterday around that day or the day before that. dark after i show all the screen shots of him harassing's a 15 year old on pony town. he turned to me on twitter and started blaming me for the eoi fan base or some haters going after the person who made the eoi models. so i straight up told him i don't have any reason to attack the inverted shadow or his model maker. nor would i want to i even told him i don't like the eoi. (elements of insanity) so he told me i find that hard to believe seeing as your trying to expose me” and he said this when tagging inverted shadow and the person who made the models. i even told the guy bearded who made the models no im not going after you and inverted. im going after darkherobrine for harassing's a 15 year old kid. so after that happened and i told him im done with this. what happens but all his white knights go after me only for a day and then quit. so with one of them i reply with darkherobrine is 21 years old that shut him up. one even straight up deleted there comment knowing that they were wrong and yet still support dark. next he decided to go after my friend specdust and his white knights today got his twitter suspended for 12 hours so now he is pissed. so dark guess what enjoy whats coming

#super angry rant

0 notes

nguyenx33 · 5 years ago

Text

Can’t believe we are pregnant again. Being pregnant again wasn’t something I thought was going to happen anytime soon— at least not for us.

I remember while taking the pregnancy test I felt for sure there is no way I was pregnant. But as I was sitting there waiting. the second line appeared slowly. I had to double check the instructions and even triple check it because I could not believe the results I was seeing. Believe it or not— WE ARE EXPECTING!! My body went into this shock mode because Riley just literally turn 1. We were just pregnant about a year ago and now we are doing this all over again.

[First trimester]

unlike my first pregnancy— this pregnancy wasn’t as bad. I don’t recall having much morning sickness or throwing up after every meal I had.

Hearing baby’s heart beat for the first time was everything. Having another life grow inside of me is so beautiful. What we experienced with Riley was beyond magical and breath taking— & to be able to experience it all over again.... we are so lucky 💓

Both Layne and I are so excited to start on this pregnant journey again.

[Second trimester]

At first we were planning to do a gender reveal party. However after having a talk with each other. We’ve both decided to wait till we give birth to find out. YES. I know. How can we do that for 9 months?! Believe it or not at first I was so ANXIOUS to find out. I told myself, man there is no way I can wait that long. I need to know now!! But then I realize maybe after all it isn’t so bad waiting. Who doesn’t like surprises right?! It has to be one or the other— & for that we’ve decided to keep the gender a surprise.

Deep down in my gut feeling I swore we are having a boy. This pregnancy feels different and my instincts tells me it might just be a boy 👶🏻 —Idk, I could be wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️ boy or girl, as long as baby comes out healthy and full term. We are happy with which ever.

{16 - 36 weeks;}

So with this pregnancy to prevent preterm labor again. I had to start taking progesterone shots weekly until I hit 36 weeks. Thankfully I am able to get the shots at home. Layne was such a big help and im so grateful for him. For a person that has no medical background and has never given a shot before. He was the one who gave me the shots weekly with minimal pain. I remember how much I dreaded getting these shots weekly. I’m so glad it was over. On a good note. The shots did help.

[Third trimester]

Following up for my heart blocks. I had to do some extra testing to ensure my heart is ready for delivery and see if there is any leakage. Good news is that they did not find anything. Which is a good thing. Dr Khan, however did suggest I get a sleep study done. I on the other hand, don’t feel like I need to at this point or will in the near future. My palpitations has not been bad at all with this pregnancy. As a matter of fact, I barely had any.

36 week prenatal visit was when I got my cervix check every week until labor. Good news was I was only half centimeter dilated. My cervix is still close.

{37-39 weeks}

Final last trimester— feeling heavier than ever. Swollen foot, hands & backaches. I can’t believe i made it to full term. We’re so excited to bring baby home with us and not have to go to the NICU.

During the last two prenatal visit I was measuring a little big so Dr Asato ordered an ultrasound to see how much baby weighs. Weighing in at 5 lbs 4 oz about 1 month before my due date. I had thought baby is at least 6 lbs already. Where is all this weight going to? 😳 At this point it’s a waiting game. Wondering if my water bag will break or when my mucous plug will pass. Will I start to have contractions again. Thankfully I made it to water park with the family and my little one 🥰 being pregnant with a big belly at 38 weeks walking around for 6 hours in the sun is not the best idea. You would think all this walking I’ve been doing I would go into labor a bit sooner but i did not. Deciding to take my maternity leave 1 week early was a good idea. By 39 weeks I was so tired and had body aches every where. We had thought this baby might be a 4th of July baby. But surprisingly I made it through 4th july. July 5 was Vivian’s birthday and July 6 is Devin’s birthday. For some reason I woke up the morning of Vivian’s birthday with a burst of energy. I thought to myself, oh gee today might be that day. The last few days I’ve been feeling minor contractions but it wasn’t painful to the point where I felt like dying. It was bearable.

Sure enough I was bleeding that morning. I called Dr Asato to see if I should go to kap or what I should do. Apparently bleeding is ok and it’s probably from all the cervix check prior. As long as I’m not bleeding heavily or having painful contractions I was advised not to go in yet— however I am in the process of going into labor.

At first I thought that was my mucous plug passing but turns out it probably wasn’t.

I called Layne to let him know he needs to come home now because I am going to labor— soon.

Through out the day the contractions were bearable. Nothing harming or painful. We cleaned our house a bit, i sterilized the bottles and was able to take a nap for a bit. We also had dinner at aunty’s place. We’re all waiting at this point because baby could come any minute. Surely enough after we got home. From 10 pm to 1 am my contractions were consistent with a pattern and it was creeping up on me. Around 1 ish I knew it was time to go.

39 weeks and 4 days. We can’t wait to meet you baby. 🥰💓

0 notes

cyberstabbing · 7 years ago

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Non AUs/Somewhat Canon

Unequivocal - This is how it would have happened. 38k

Hear Me Out - It’s not so much the turning into a girl that’s a problem; that’s happened before. It’s the fact that Frank doesn’t turn back. 23k

Okay but this … was so much more than I could have hoped for. Definitely raised the bar for everything else.

Ice Cubes And Rubber Bands - “It’s hot.“

”Shut up.“

”It’s so fucking hot and I’m melting.“

“You’ve said that like fifty fucking times in a row now shut the fuck up and stop whining!” Frank grits through his teeth, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

“It’s not my fault that we are stranded here in the middle of fucking nowhere, Frank”, Gerard says, a bitchy undertone in his voice. It almost sounds like he’s trying to pick a fight. Frank takes a deep breath and closes his eyes; it’s too fucking hot to deal with Gerard’s allures right now. 7k (if you include part two)

Breakdown on the L.I.E. - Frank jerked awake when his dream was interrupted by a squealing banshee, which turned out to be the van grinding and squealing to a halt. 6k

every man - “I won't—we’re a band, Marc,” Gee says, “I’m not—shit. I’m not the girl who stays home.” 1k

with the lights on - Frank is weirdly chivalrous in some ways. He always opens doors for her, he lights her cigarettes like he’s in a forties movie or something, and he always offers her the last seat, even if it means that he has to sit on the floor. 10k

Sparkle Motion - For the next week, Gerard woke up every morning to a new list of Words that Describe how Gerard is In Bed pinned on the fridge. It disappeared after one of them wrote, ‘Sparkle Motion’ because, Bob explained to Gerard, they felt they’d nailed Gerard’s essence with that one. 6k

A Natural Reaction to Rough-housing - He made it to the bathroom and stood there leaning heavily on the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. He didn’t look like a creepy sadist. But neither did Christian Bale, and that hadn’t ended well for anybody. 27k

Sweet Caffeine (and Love of Liberace) - In which Brian tasered them into it, Gerard read too many comic books as a kid, Jamia isn’t worried about anything, and Bob doesn’t wear a codpiece. 4k

Now Honey, Don’t You Cry - Frank has always had an irrational fear of thunder, but when it causes a breakdown beyond that of ‘irrational,’ Gerard vows to find the truth. 6k

Pavlov’s Dog - It’s during one of their coveted hotel nights that Frank finally has enough. 1k

Reaching Through The Mirror - The one where Party Poison and Basement!Gerard have sex. 5k

(part one of Time Travel ‘verse)

James Cameron Got It Wrong - In which 2005!Frank and Fun Ghoul get it on. Then Frank accidentally winds up in 2019. 56k

(part two of Time Travel ‘verse)

Whatever I Want (Whatever That Is) - The first time Frank walked in on Gerard going down a girl in the dressing room, he was pissed. 9k

Distance in the Afterlife - Gerard comes out. 15k

The One Where Ray Can Hear Sex Dreams - I’m really sorry, Mr. Toro. But I didn’t make you have sex with anyone, as per your request. 2k

Heart On - From early days touring in vans to Projekt Revolution, the tour crew swears that they’re not homophobic, they just don’t want to see that shit. Frank takes it as a personal challenge. 13k

I died laughing like 17 times.

Just A Spoonful - It’s actually something of a relief when Frank walks onto the bus to find Gerard learning how to sabotage a car. It’s better than the last time, anyway, when he was trying to snort coke through a rolled-up condom wrapper. Or the time before, when he was passed out in a pile of glass shards. All things considered, wrecking random cars would be a step up for him. 1k

When I Think About You (I Touch Myself) - Van!era bodyswap. Gerard is a narcissist. 2k

You’re so cute when you’re slurring your speech - If this is what Frank wants, then fuck it. Just fucking fuck it. Frank can have it.(Or, Frank wants to bone Gerard. So he does. A lot.) 8k

Ride - This is the coolest place the band has ever stayed at. 15k

jerseymisery wrote this description: okay this is an ULTRA FAVE!! the whole fic has such a dreamlike sort of quality to it? it gives me such great vibes of like summer and transience and SHIT LIKE THAT.. it’s set during bullets i’m pretty sure which is. COOL. it just feels like a snapshot, a moment in time.. i really like it. go read it! it’s frank x gerard and mikey x an oc.

ierohero's write-up: https://ierohero.tumblr.com/post/188897569757/im-reading-ride-again-theres-literally-no

Link to author (they also wrote some fics below)

Sick - It was sort of sick, since Frank was, like, younger than his little brother, but Gerard had wanted to kiss him from the very first second he saw him standing up on stage and smirking into the microphone.

“Who’s that?” he asked Mikey.“That’s Frank,” Mikey whispered back, like it was some big secret or something, hissing the words into Gerard’s ear. “That’s the guy I want you to meet.”

“Figures,” Gerard muttered. It just fuckin’ figured that the first guy he’d wanted to fuck in, like, a semester would be the one Mikey wanted for the band. 5k

Broke - Frank is sick. A companion piece to Sick. 5k

Fucked Up - It’s hard to describe the multitude of ways in which Frankie is fucked up, although Gerard keeps trying. He lies in his bunk at night listening to the other members of the band breathing, soft radiator hisses, the occasional snore, and tries to enumerate to himself what’s wrong with Frankie. He thinks that maybe if he can figure out what the problem is, he can fix it. He’s always been sort of an optimist. 1k

Reasons We Don’t - “Why don’t we fuck?” Frank asks, tipping his head back to blow smoke at the sky. 7k

subterfuge of tiny proportions - It usually takes Gerard hours to wind down from a show. He has this crazy wired look in his eyes when they come offstage, all sweaty and flushed and jittery. He touches people more, talks a little louder, a little faster. Even now, even after all this time, it still gets to him. The nervous energy, the screams of the crowd, the music. Frank watches him every night, because when he is like that, he’s beautiful. And because when the stage buzz wears off, he crashes, hard and fast. 1k

He Told Me I Could Never Go Back - Everything was fine until Frank disappeared. 2k

this broke my heart.

Up Against Your Will (HERE is the chapter index) - Stepping into a world so different from their own, Frank and Gerard struggle to survive. 18 chapters

this was amazing, but also hard to read in some parts, bc of the non con and gore :/ not my cup of tea, but I did love the word building and the fic overall.

When I Was a Little Girl - Frank is a dyke. Period. She doesn't like boys. At all. But if you squint (or you're drunk enough) sometimes Gerard totally looks like a girl. 26k

Silken - Gerard can't help but notice the way Frank bites his lip and shifts in his seat when an interviewer brings up his day in drag. Frank's almost normal when he nudges Gerard with his shoulder, raising his hands in the air and laughing, "Oh, yeah. Man, you should have seen him - like Christina Ricci, you know?" but Gerard can still see the imprint of his teeth on his lower lip and files that away while he relates the story about how the conductor was really nice to him and how he'd managed figure out how to sit without crushing anything vital by the end of the day. <1k

Pushy Little Fuck - "Anyone ever tell you, Iero, that you're a pushy little fuck?" Gerard says, rearranging Frank against his side.

Frank just grins at him and says, "S'my middle name." Frank Pushy Little Fuck Iero. There's a song in there somewhere. 1k

The Kind They'd Like to Flaunt - When Frank first meets Gee, officially, it's because Ray saw Frank from across the room and put him into a headlock to get him over to his booth. 1k

How Dirty Boys Get Clean - Gerard stinks. Frank convinces him that bath time can be such fun. 1k i think?? maybe 2k

Under My Skin - "Maybe," Gerard had said one night, scratching idly at Frank's scalp, "it was something you ate?" "Maybe," Ray said, "it was some kind of sex pollen." Frank growled and said, "maybe if you don't shut up right now I'm going to kick your ass." 1k

Body of a Venus (lord, imagine my surprise) - Gerard is dressed like a girl and decides to pay Frank a visit. 1k

Never Looked Better And You Can’t Stand It - For once, Frank is the self-conscious one. 1k

In the Dark - The problem wasn’t that Gerard was stupid; the problem was that he wasn’t always the most observant guy around. Sometimes he just misses things that maybe he should have noticed. He hadn’t thought anything of it the first time Frank had pushed his hands out from under his shirt and said, “I’d rather touch you.”

(Or the one where chubby!Frank is really self-conscious and avoids having sex with Gerard with the lights on.) 2k

Jane Doe - Frank meets a mystery girl at a party. When she turns out to be not such a mystery (and not such a girl), he’s forced to make some hard choices. Set in fall 2000. This isn’t an AU, but some details have been changed. 9 chapters

This fic, man… this fic… An amazing read (though unfinished). Really shows how unbalanced affection and care can be, and leaves you uncertain yet hopeful for their relationship. Here’s an excerpt:

”The heat’s on as high as it goes,“ Gerard said, glancing over with concern. Frank wondered if Gerard would have noticed his trembling if they hadn’t been making out feverishly just a few hours beforehand.

Edit 22/10/2019: I just found out there was a ninth chapter?? Holy shit okay lets go.

Moonlight Model - Frank's a photographer. Gerard's a model. Only not really. 1k

Pack - Frank's a very playful werewolf. 1k

I Wish I Were A Ghost - Halloween is Frank Iero's birthday. It's also the day when the veil between the world of the living and the dead is at it's thinnest.

A ghost-story. Short and sweet. 1k

Immutable - Frank and Gerard are sitting in bed, talking about frank's tattoos, and it's beautiful. 1k

Curl - Gerard finds Frank tied to the seatbelt in the back of their tour van. Sexytimes ensue. 2k

no sleep - Gerard looked terrible, hollow-eyed and sweaty, and it was still only just after midnight. <1k

the second time the band saves gerard's life - soberty fic. 1k

Half the Battle - People tend to assume Gerard is an alpha. Frank knows better. 1k

Afresh - As much as Frank tells him there's never been a time he didn't love Gerard, Gerard knows Frank definitely doesn't miss the days when he could sometimes smell him from the other room. 1k

Just Because - By the time Gerard asked Frank to join the band, the only answer Frank had left for him was yes. 4k

Holding Out For An Iero - When Frank gets his chestpiece, he doesn't have sex for a week. 5k

An Inexplicable Occurrence of Angels - 35k

This was on my Fics-I-Can’t-Find-list, and since this one doesn’t have a description, I’ll just paste in what I could remember from reading it last year:

My Chem (minus Frank) broke up after Revenge. One day Frank kinda shows up (can't remember how). Frank's an angel with big wings and is hopelessly clueless about the world, so the rest or My Chem have to help him. They take him on walks and it looks like he has a hunchback bc of his wings. I think Frank doesn't even know any words in the beginning, but he learns english quickly. Loves watching movies. Everyone in My Chem basically crash at ray's place bc of Frank. And they're all Hey... maybe we should pick up the band again...?

UPDATE: okay i just reread it and it’s sooooo good holy shit. especially the last chapter. there was a comment on AO3 about how they would come back and reread the last chapter over and over again because it made them so happy. that’s probably what i’m gonna do from now on.

A Necessary Requirement - description by jerseymisery ... i think: it’s like a warped tour fic i believe, god it’s so fucking funny, the dialogue is gr8.. basically the whole fic is frank wanting to know what gerard’s dick looks like okay dhgvjsdghg. 3k

Twenty Percent Down - We're rock stars," Frank says firmly. "We're not moving back to live in our parents' basements." 7k

House hunting!

"What's your credit rating like?" he pants out. "I - what?" Gerard stops mouthing Frank's skin and lifts his head up. ^ Never fails to crack me up.

One Hundred Percent - (Almost. Maybe.) - Frank sighed. "I'm playing tonight," he said, firmly. "It is a fucking sore throat. Luckily, I am not the lead singer. I can play my fucking guitar with a sore throat. I can play it with my eyes closed. I am fine." (11,400 words of, you know, Frank being sick. A LOT.) 11k

Raspberry Swirl - The time that the whole band woke up as girls was maybe the weirdest. 16k

Away With The Boys In The Band - Behind the Music: My Chemical Romance, in the world where Mikey has always been a girl. 69k

Ship(s): Mikey Way/Otter, Mikey Way/Gabe Saporta, Mikey Way/Pete Wentz, Mikey Way/Alicia Simmons

^ I could not put this down. The writing is so so so spectacular, and the dialog is both interesting and realistic. A lot of angst, but still hilarious at parts. Please read.

Update because I need to add some things: Listen! Words can not express how obsessed with this fic I am. I made a mixtape for it. Fanart. Currently working on a ebook version of it so I can print it out. Guys. You do not understand how fucking fantastic this fic is. Don’t scroll away from me, I’m serious! Fucking click the link dammit. Click it. C’mon. I’m waiting–click iiiiit. You back yet? Yeah? What did I tell you! I know, it is amazing! You okay? Got tissues? Good. Okay now go wash your face and eat a snack. No, no, no need to thank me, the pleasure was all mine.

Any Way You Want - Gee Way is fronting early MCR when Frank spots them in a shitty bar and immediately finds himself immersed in the energy of the music; not to mention the addictive personality of the lead singer. 18k

Sucker Bet - Since Frank's currently got a sloppy handful of Gerard's hard-and-getting-harder cock, oops kinda seems like an understatement. But Frank's a practical kinda guy. 2k

A Helping Hand - Frank just wants to be able to jerk off. He doesn't think that's too much to ask. 6k

Frank the Failiest Vampire - Frank's a vampire, and he's finally ready to let the world know. 0.9

a not!fic

Three Sharp Bites - When Frank had imagined the joy of finally finding a helpless thrall who would tilt back his neck for him, displaying the jugular with a undertone of love and utter submission, he didn't really expect it to include the joy of being bent almost in two while his mate fucked the living shit out of him. 0.7k

part two of Frank the Failiest Vampire. This isn’t a not!fic though.

Fantasy Book - This was really, really not normal behavior for Gerard - not for real, normal Gerard, and it was even a little abrupt for the imaginary Gerard who lived in Frank's head and came out during his Special Alone Times with his dick. 16k

The Year of Living Safely - Post-sobriety MCR. This is as much about me and my own brother as it is about the Way boys, and Christ was it hard to write; it brought a lot of painful things to the surface. 12k

Incredibly painful but worth a read. Or ten. One-sided Frank/Gerard.

second word, one syllable - Prompt #60. Frank loses his voice and has to use notes, texts, charades, etc. to communicate. 4k

More Than He Can Say - Frank doesn't know what it is about tonight. 2k

I've Got Friends in Closed Spaces - Written for the no_tags challenge for the prompt of 'accidental frottage.' Set in the middle of a tour, vaguely 2004. 4k

it’s the hide-and-seek fic! i’ve been looking for this for an eternity.

First Class - Gerard is totally disturbed, because he's sort of obsessed with making Frank drool. 1.6k

Party Games (Eureka!) - Gerard has awesome ideas. 2k

MCR: untitled no.1 - Gerard plays piano in the loosest sense of the word - plays, with fingers stuttering a little in the air above the white keys and even more over the black ones; body hunched over and shoulders tucked in as soft lines form between his eyebrows. Zero-point-something k.

and here’s another piano drabble by the same author!

just like it was - Basically, I had this really urgent desire to write about Gerard's high school reunion. <1k

love on the webways - As a writer, Grant supposes he could have considerably worse habits than trolling his own message boards.

A totally ridiculous AU vaguely inspired by You've Got Mail. 32k Grant/Gerard

This was so fun to read! It’s a what-if-they-broke-up-after-tbp fic btw.

you weaseled your way into my heart (and ferreted out my feelings) - You gotta watch out for those bands with umlauts. 5k

Reverberation - Frank feels like he just fell off the stage, staggered directly from the lights and out into the long hallway backstage, tipping over into the momentary quiet. 1.5k

Not a Pretty Girl - 28k

Gen. Always-been-a-girl fic featuring kick ass female drummer, Bob Bryar. The story is a series of shorter fics all about her life before MCR, growing up as a woman in the Chicago scene, touring with The Used, joining MCR and everything that comes with that. It's awesome. + art!

I Am a Patient Boy - So this is an AU about Gerard being a girl named Helen (after her...grandmother?) and Frank being sort of, head over heels. 5k

“He goes to the next show alone. It’s in this basement club, red-lit and smoky. Frank stands on a chair at the back of the room. Over everyone’s head so he can get a good look.”

This fic follows Frank as he leaves Pencey Prep and joins My Chem in 2001. The author changed a lot of details though, so I recommend thinking of it as an AU in how the band formed. Unless you want to yell at your screen at 1am for it getting the timeline wrong (like I did).

Not Smashing Windows - In the beginning, they were the scene. An origin story. 32k

From Gabe’s POV, and it’s done flawlessly. It somehow emulates the same feeling one gets from stumbling across an overlooked short film at three a.m. on youtube. The one you can’t help but wonder about, how it is that you’ve never heard about it before. Like it is in its own bubble of existence. Feeling afraid to even breathe or look away, afraid that it’ll disappear at any time, that it was too good to be true. Something you shouldn’t be able to hold in your hands. This fic feels incredibly personal to read. Gabe’s longings of intimacy, the hopelessness at parts. I could feel my fondness for the characters grow enormously in this fic. The wording and conversations and scenes paint a brilliant picture that will stay with you for a long time. I know it will for me at least. Ship: Gabe Saporta/Mikey Way

For a Different View - AU. Ray Toro is a girl, Rae, but MCR is still just MCR. 49k

The first time they went over to Mikey's house, Mikey tossed her a beer and said, "My brother might come up. Maybe not, though. He gets weird in the middle of projects." She found out what he meant halfway through Dawn of the Dead, when a bundle of black fabric barreled from the basement door to the refrigerator and back down to the basement without saying a word to either of them.

I need to finish this!!! But –gah. Such awesome awesomeness. Ship: Ray/Mikey

Double Exposure - “The worst part was the confession. Well, the explanation sucked too.” Written for prompt 38. Frank/Mikey - Frank and Mikey bodyswap during tour and have to play shows as each other. 2.5k

Frank isn’t part italian in this fic. He’s part alien! :D Ship: Frank/Mikey

Anti-Sex (It Comes Around remix) - The first time Frank ever really talked to Mikey's brother it was at a house party somewhere in the shitty part of the Oranges. Before that, Gerard was just Mikey's weird older brother. In Frank's mind, their interactions were always relative to Mikey, spinning out from him, Mikey first, Gerard a trailing but connected afterthought. At that party, though, Mikey's brother was a little buzzed and cheerful with it, talking with a charisma and charm Frank hadn't seen before.

Here’s a v 2018 relevant part: “Hey, you bring me my voter's registration, I swear I'll turn it in." "You're not even registered to vote?" Gerard said, and brought a hand up to run his pinky across his eyebrow like it was all just too much, and Frank laughed.

Crooked Crown - There's always a voice in the back of Frank's head, tiny and barely registering after years of shrugging it off, but still present nonetheless. It says things like, this is a bad idea, and it's satisfying now, but there'll be consequences later. Or, this is the line and you're about to cross it. Someone had once said that Frank had no conscience, which wasn't true because hi, voice in his head. He totally did have a conscience - it was just that he wasn't much of a slave to it.

In any case, the voice dampens out even quicker than usual this time and he's then free to scribble 'BALLS' in Sharpie over each page of Gerard's brand new issue of Hellboy before stuffing it back underneath the seat to be discovered later on. 4k

“The next day they're in Austin, and it feels like an armpit. Mikey walks around with his fingers splayed out, trying to prevent any part of his body from touching another”

^ Ah Mikey, never stop being so relatable. Anyway, this was hilarious. I love how petty both of them were. Poor Ray with his head in his hands!

Rappelling Down Mount Vesuvius - 1k | Gen

I love reading little snippets of their lives like this. Just the right amount of fluff and backstory for something bittersweet and hopeful.

down to the water - Things were better than they were a month ago, hell, a week ago, but that wasn't saying much. A week ago, Gee was stumbling drunk on a stage in Japan and puking so much Frank had honestly been afraid she was going to die. So, while her over-caffeinated, white-faced sobriety of today was a welcome change, Frank still felt like they were all on the edge of disaster, that everything they'd worked so hard for could still collapse around them. 10k

New Rule - Pitch-black basement sex. 2k

Frank is jammed in between Gerard and the wall. He made Gerard check the entire basement for spiders before they turned off the crazy-bright fluorescent strip light, but he’s still wrapped himself up in the blankets like a burrito, jamming the edges under his body until he’s fucking airtight. “If you stretch you’ll pull the blankets out,” he says, muffled because his face is pressed under Gerard’s chin. “And then the spiders will get in, and then I’ll have to kill you.”

Oooh nooo, they have to share the bed. [cackles loudly]

Kiss The Bottle - A drunk wizard slips Frank a love potion while the band is in between tour dates. Chaos and mischief ensues. 35k

An impeccable casting of the wizard, I must say. lol

Don't Fear the Reaper - Gerard's not the greatest with faces but there's one that keeps crossing his path that he can't ignore. 4k

THE SCENE IS DEAD - 20k

Can’t remember who wrote this description (it’s on my to-do list) (was it disenchanted?) but THEY PUT IT INTO WORDS: “I don't know how to begin to describe this one... It's written in an unusual format - ie. a lot of it is told through newspaper articles and webpages but it's one of those super haunting fics that stays with you for days. I don't think there are any triggers listed so be warned there are character deaths and supernatural stuff.”

And I really don’t have more to add. I don’t even want to say anything more because honestly for this fic, the less you know the better. For me the experience of reading it was made a hundred times better just by the emotional rollercoasters I was put through. Lol. Trying to figure out what was going on/going to happen next was really fun.

Candy Cane Vodka - "Yeah, Mikey, you accidentally made fucking peppermint Everclear. Congratulations and all, but Jesus Christ."

Mikey gets an idea on the road after finding a bargain bin book on homemade infusions. Experimentation follows, and Yuletide chaos ensues.

ngl... i’m tempted to make that vodka mixture

Ships: Mikey/Ray, Frank/Gerard

#frerard #frerard fic #frank/gerard #rec list

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