#yet another ramble that isn't too crazy or anything. at least it's finally out of my drafts. doodles have been sitting here since may ;-;

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

I like to imagine sometimes of Makoto lowkey making a monster by teaching Byakuya teen slang. Can be in any sorta au or in canon. Could be years later when they're all paying mortgages. Any are good. Like, Makoto isn't the most tech-savvy person in the world. Feel Mr. Mc Average only know so much so imagining him trying to teach Byakuya this kind of stuff is already a silly thing to think about. However, it's the aftermath where it all goes down hill. It starts out small, maybe Makoto hearing Byakuya say something and things with Makoto questioning himself like, "Wait. Is he referencing something?" But Makoto doesn't think much of it. Flash forward a week later though, and Byakuya's basically tormenting Makoto by spouting every bit of dead Internet slang out there, being very cringe. And it's the confidence in Byakuya's voice and demeaner too, even if he's saying it wrong. Like hearing a 50 year old man saying "Pokemans" or something. It's his pure confidence when being incorrect which just makes Makoto want to shrivel up inside as he questions his life decisions.

Different flavor of this is this happening when they're older and imagining it with modern slang. Plus, with them older means that there's that extra flavor of "old man cringe" which is just way too funny to me. Standard Byakuya's already got that "I have an old soul" energy after all so him actually being older while saying the slang just adds a new layer. Plus, I personally like to believe that Byakuya at least SOMEWHAT gets better as a person with age and can find trust in others enough to express his cringe. There's also the other interpretation of this idea I can think of with "Danganronpa but modern/ imagining the cast being teens in the modern day since the games still have that 2010s energy in them" but I personally enjoy the "old man cringe".

[pruengs]

how gil found out he was trans - asobh

i haven't posted anything about my au in a while, but i've been thinking about it again recently... this is more rambly and not very ordered, so i apologize for that lol

i feel like gilbert realized he was trans pretty late in life. he was somewhere between fifteen and seventeen when he had his egg cracking moment

before he transitioned, he had long hair. really long, really beautiful, and very well-cared for hair. that was the only girly thing he was ever into. he never cut it, not really. it was his pride and joy. (every time he visited francis, they took turns braiding each other's hair. it was nice)

he never dyed his hair either. he likes the platinum-esque colour of it.

though, like, one day when he's visiting his mom (which he did sometimes. roderich came to visit them, and sometimes gil would go visit him and their mom. never ludwig, though. ludwig doesn't visit their mom. especially at that time, because he'd still be angry with roderich at that time), she decides that he absolutely should dye his hair. and she'd prepared everything, too. the hair products are expensive, and they need so much of it, and gilbert isn't actually the biggest fan of the idea, but his mom more or less pressures him into it. the whole process takes so long he thinks he's going crazy.

in the end, his hair is the same brown as his mother and roderich, and he doesn't actually hate it as much as he thought he would. he thinks that maybe brown suits him. it's a far cry from his father & ludwig, blonde and germanic, but he doesn't mind. he didn't fit in with them before either, after all. now he at least fits in with the other half of his family.

so when he gets home, he's proud to show it to his dad, wide grin, pose everything. burkhard (germania) isn't happy, though.

"you look just like your mother," but it's not a compliment. it never would have been. he sounds almost disgusted, and he's definitely disappointed. it's the worst thing he could've said.

and gilbert hates it, and he runs to the bathroom, and all he can see in the mirror is the vile woman that left him and his brother behind. a woman that left her dying child behind. (he hates her. he hates her so much. and yet... he still loves her. it's still his mother. and she loves him. doesn't she?)

and he decides that it doesn't matter how expensive the dye was, and how long it took, and just how long he's been growing it out for. all he knows is that he needs it gone. and he needs it gone now. he grabs his father's razor, and just shaves his head. he shaves everything off, until he's bald. until he feels like himself again.

and he stares into the mirror. he looks at the person. and he kind of looks like a boy, doesn't he? and he kind of likes it. he kind of likes it a lot.

after another mental breakdown, and some experimenting with pronouns, and with names, and with the help of francis, he finally, finally starts to actually feel like himself. because now he knows who he is.

[originalgenshinscenarios]

I was curious if you'd be up for writing some headcanons for some of our ladies who don't get enough love. Sucrose, Xingling, Barbara, Fischl, and Amber

Reader is their secret admirer and finally gains the courage to ask them out. Please and thank you so so much

I think that most ladies don't get enough love to be honest. At least from the writing community.

Sucrose, Xiangling, Barbara, Fischl and Amber meeting their secret admirer

Reader here is gender neutral

Sucrose

She wouldn't ever think that she'd have a secret admirer, yet here you were. She even thought you meant to do everything for someone else.

Leaving cute letters, gifts and other things did make her flustered. Even though at first she thought it was a bit creepy...

She just didn't know how to respond to all of it really. She's certain now that you do mean to give it all to her but... What if it's just a joke?

But then who would go out of their way to learn about her so well to know all the right words to use, all the right gifts that would most probably creep out anyone else... Where did you get those great quality bones to begin with?

Perhaps your inability to talk directly to her is a good thing, since she isn't sure herself what she'd talk to you about.

Then she got a letter where you asked her to meet you.

It freaked her out to even imagine herself seeing you. Perhaps she already knew you personally and you were just hiding your interest in her so well? That's for her to find out

She mumbled to herself and in the end she wasn't sure if she wanted to meet you. She was scared that you might be disappointed when you get closer.

And her mumbling wasn't quiet enough for Timaeus to not hear any of it. So he ended up giving her some advice as well as hyping her up.

She got there on time, she was almost late but she got the time and place right.

She saw you from the distance and greeted you. Blushing as you engaged in a conversation. Although she knew what you wanted, hearing you ask her out was something else on it's own.

"I-I'd love to go out with you. But before we go, can you tell me where did you get these great quality alchemy materials from? And how did-" she caught herself rambling "Oh s-sorry... It's probably not appropriate to discuss something like this on a date right?"

Xiangling

"complements to the chef" is something she heard quite often. It was much better when costumers directly gave their praise as well as some criticism, but she can't be too picky about that now can she?

Well it started bothering her that now she was getting those sweet letters and she couldn't even guess who it was from.

It drove her crazy actually, she even asked her dad if she could access list of people who had ordered anything recently, hoping her admirer was a frequent costumer because that would make things so much easier.

Still she was super excited each time she got another letter from you. It made her even more determined to seek you out.

But none of her methods worked. She had to wait for you to take the first step. To speed things up she began leaving letters along with other snacks to you too.

You could tell that she wanted to meet you, so you had to overcome your shyness for her sake.

She was super excited for the meeting and was early too. In the meantime she prepared a picnic for you to enjoy.

And since it was a date she didn't bring Guoba with her, but she did promise to introduce you to him.

So when you finally arrived you were both met with wonderful smell of some great food and her smile.

"Hello! I'm so happy to finally see you. Have a seat, don't be shy" she was clearly excited and she couldn't wait to see how your relationship develops "I tried some new recipes this time, hope you like it"

Barbara

She has quite a lot of secret admirers, but unlike the others you never made her uncomfortable.

You never tried to "prove how much you knew her" so that definitely was a nice change.

You were honest and you always ended your letters in a way that made her laugh.

To be honest she felt like she was talking to you even though she never responded to you.

She was definitely in higher spirits ever since she started to realize that she was falling for you.

Of course she kept everything a secret from everyone and never read the letters in public.

She wanted to do something for you too, but she didn't know how to go about it.

She didn't need to think much about it though, since by that time you asked her to meet you.

You picked the time she was free... But she'd also not have much time to get there on time since it was right after her practice.

So she'd rush over there as soon as she was done. Being out of breath, but on time she finally saw you.

"Am I late? Oh, I'm so sorry! I tried my best to get here on time and..." she paused to catch her breath. In the meantime you explained that she wasn't late and even if she was it wouldn't upset you, she nodded "You're the one who was leaving those sweet letters? I was so excited to finally meet you and talk to you directly. Let's go on a walk, I'd love to get to know you better"

Fischl

Your mysterious appearance was quite interesting to say the least. One day Katherine passed to her a gift from you, but she'd also refuse to tell her anything about it.

Knowing that she won't get the truth out of her she decided to accept your kind gesture thinking it was a one time thing. Perhaps she helped you with a commission some time ago and it was your way of thanking her...

Needless to say she was wrong. She stated getting them frequently and with each package and list she became more and more flustered.

She was happy to get that, wait no any kind of attention. But she felt bad that she could not respond to you.

She really wanted to talk to you, she wanted to know who was behind her heart skipping a beat after just reading a letter.

So she started looking for you herself, with her investigation skills it would be rather sooner than later.

And once you noticed it you decided to come out and tell her directly instead of letting the clues lead to you.

Although that rush did mess up your words pretty badly she was twice as flustered as you were.

"So... One that had fought for heart that belongs to myself was you all along? While I do think that talking to me is flooding regular minds with uncertainty... I would expect my lover to overcome such barrier. Alas I'm still willing to give you a chance, as long as you'll be open with me and I only shall return the favor" she looked away blushing "I'll pledge my loyalty to you... But before that I-... I'd like to enjoy a moment of rest with you. Looking for you proved to be exhausting and I don't have the energy to partake in activities that may drain it further"

Amber

She thought of your gifts more as kind gestures and was oblivious at first when it came to your feelings.

Of course she did eventually connect the dots and she was really flattered.

Reading everything made her feel like she was playing scavenger hunt. Every time you left a tip on who you might be.

And even though she was curious, she wanted you to walk up to her so she didn't seek you out. She only tried to guess who you are.

She was usually in a good mood but she had even wider smile on her face after reading your letters.

So when you wanted to meet up she immediately thought of how to prepare herself before going.

And she was awfully early. She looked around and waited still thinking of who you might be.

When you approached her, you could see how happy she was to see you.

"Hello! Are you the person I was supposed to meet?" after you answered she followed up with "In that case, let's go on a date. I was honestly wondering when you'll ask me out already" she laughed.

~Mod Lisa

[lawrising-a]

( continued from here! // @pseudoneiric )

there's a sore sensation nestling against the sensitive skin of his wrist -- not rubbed raw, exactly, considering his tie is too silky to achieve such a feat ( and he, desperately, tried to move as little as possible ) but it still stings. a chiding reminder of what he allowed to happen not even minutes ago. yellow wrapped around him, completely bound and helpless ... it was something he can't say he's done before, not like that. he thinks the correct term would be bondage, but was it? gloved hands sinking beneath layers of flesh to expose the fluttering organs beneath, and expose her own in turn. call him crazy, but that's not what he thought bondage was about. but when was anything with lilian it's textbook definition? he can't blame anyone for his display of vulnerability except himself, completely ensnared with the girl the moment they crossed paths. there were times he watered down his attraction, for both their sakes, blaming her allure for his enchantment. yet lies come clean eventually and here he now perches. the edge of his mused bed, chest rising and falling more then it should as he burns with the black markings drifted upon his ivory skin. lipstick marks painting him in a light he's not used to. he's been stripped of all his warm tones and fake boy scout personas ; left in cool colors. green pants and black marks.

‘and what are you ... the sun?’ whispered a voice earlier, like every hushed word was a secret reserved between the two of them. mat rolls his shoulders, because he doesn't feel that way anymore. never has, honestly. he wants to be beaming lights with a killer gravitational pull, but he ... isn't. the colors on him now is a striking reminder of that : yet he replays lilian's maddening words and fools himself briefly. it's okay to believe lies when she's the one feeding them! as long as she believes it, why can't he humor it? everything she said had been a warped view, a funhouse mirror at those shifty carnivals -- but it was raw honesty from lilian, and he can't turn away the swell of attention. even if he should, even if mat should waltz into the bathroom where she's currently shrouding herself away and spill out the truth. let her know he isn't some angelic force but rather a mockery of one. how matthew naively hopes he can be hers regardless of his lack of good ... it's dizzying, causing his vision to blur, because it's been a while since he's confronted this about himself. the student doesn't like it. but oh, he loves her -- a burning sensation that lights his veins aflame and races his heart.

distractingly, he presses the pad of his rough thumb against the mark on the corner of his lips. a replica of a kiss she once bestowed upon him like salvation itself ( hm, what's with the spur of religious imagery today? hah ). trying to prod away the disappointment that rises every time he feels the wishful want of her actual lips there instead. she has to -- she has to feel something for him at this point, right? that can't be an assumption anymore, can it? questions whirl around as his fingers ghost down his ruined skin, tracing over the words left with his own hands like confirmation. like he's silently saying 'yes, property of lilian eyler.' like he's finally allowing himself a love he thought he wouldn't ever have when he traces, ‘mine. mine. mine-’ that ends with him working his way back up, away from the bulge of his stomach and trembling arms -- away from 'poetry, life, religion' and back to his lips. where he's reminded, with a fuzzy feeling balling up in his chest, 'mine.' almost pushing hard enough to slip a finger through his pink lips, plush and ready for ... mat isn't sure. he just wants her to kiss him there. though he knows she won't, least not today. and even if there's this sickening greed that controls him with a talent, he lets her have that. lets her take all her time in the bathroom and tries not to beg for more. how did she elegantly put in, in all her poetic prose that he's seen briefly in the club? a loyal dog? just for you now, only ever for you, lili--

a shiver rocks his form, startling his hands to the edge of the bed to tear into as he digs his heels into the carpet ( like he once had in the bed, to ground himself, to not buck ). was his pulse racing with the life she declared to adore so much? the man sinks canines into his cheek to hold back from beckoning her out to check. no, no ; he said he'd leave her be. it's a good thing for them both right now. if she had stayed and let the fabric obscuring his view fall from his eyes, he would've reached for her. try to pull them close and he'd ramble like a mad man ... wouldn't he have scared her? some part of him thinks he still has. which wobbles his posture in order to keep his head bowed, like awaiting punishment. almost waiting for pain building in his scalp, because surely she'd card her delicate laced fingers through his hair with a bit more force if she came back out. or was that his gentle throb of arousal wanting that? she got him worked up so easily ; ah, well, at least it's a good exercise for his thinning self control ...

a sigh, shaky and human, whistles out of parted lips. dry due to the fact he can't lick them thanks to the lipstick, though he can't help but wonder if he did -- would he be licking lilian's lips that way? the material touched them ... realizing how wild he is, a thoroughly teased animal, matthew laughs nervously. jesus christ, there's parts of him strewn all around his bedroom, because there's no way mat is fully put together. his brain feels like soupy liquid dripping from his ears and hissing into his scarlet skin. a puzzle of a man that lilian expertly took apart and left half completed. no matter how hard he tries to reel himself in, chase away all the sweetened morbidness delivered, he can't find all the pieces. surely, the clever girl took some with her to the bathroom. she was ... possessive. mat learned that just now. possessive over him, envious of basic things that matthew almost couldn't believe. she'll never know how comforting it was to see. a feeling now nestled happily within because nobody's been possessive of him before! she mustn't of gotten the memo from former friends, didn't hear how expendable he was to everyone who's known him. people don't get jealous for matthew, they don't care how much he sleeps, they don't care if he isolates away -- and they certainly don't care if his eyes linger on a girl with purple hair.

because who would find him special? he's an emotional wreck everyone stays weary of, a boy to eye with skepticism. his jealousy, his rawness, his obsessive love and need is wrong and ugly. you're shunned for those things by society. to the world, mat is anything but special, he's wrong ; so wrong and he's relentlessly tried to change that. but lilian ... she thinks otherwise. feels like he feels. sensitive and lovesick. and while he's always tried to hide before, if the girl with inky hair thinks it's beautiful and radiant ... everyone else must be wrong, because lilian eyler never is! as clever as the devil and twice as pretty, so the saying goes. with a rueful smile, too boyish and gentle for his own sharp face, he thinks it's an accurate fit for his favorite person ever. his throbbing molten core of earth, the darkened reflective surface of his beloved moon.

“im excited about lunch tomorrow, you know?” calls mat, voice as rough as ever ; like he uses it too much. but during this whole date, he fears he hasn't used it enough. “i haven't eaten with another person in a while. i usually just grab an apple and loiter around the library.” did you think i ate with yuri? though the fawn haired male doesn't ask, he quickly kills that assumption if it festered in lilian's mind. “if it goes well, we could ... ah, why don't we eat together from then on? maybe everyday? maybe forever! i think it'd be ... nice.”

the last part is so quiet he's not sure she hears it, but maybe she hears it die off. senses his shyness that bares him like it's her own. matthew doesn't want to dwell in it, so he tries to push forward. telling himself to keep tearing down the walls until there's nothing left ( the bathroom walls or his own? ). she deserves to hear more then his sputters from their little session, brought on by gutting arousal and his own jittery sparks : she deserves the world on an obsidian platter. to know he does want to be owned by her, to understand he'd be so comfortable displaying that label for all to see. and for lilian to be told, sternly, that he'd choose her out of a line up with certainty most would be scared of. love isn't half way for him, ever, and lilian needs to know that. even if his heart thunders and he wants to hear more of her disarming voice instead.

“and i want to be yours ; your idea with the whole 'blindly leading me around' wasn't half bad!” heartfelt chuckling makes him feel like he's vibrating out of his skin, her skin now, isn't it? “i'd let you blind me, i'd let you led me even if i was deaf and mute. you could be all my senses, because maybe then i'd trust them more. you don't know how much i wish these words on me were permanent, lilian --” mat twists his mouth, ruins his hair more. “darling, you just ... i've tried so hard to be normal this year, more then any other, yet you make me so helpless! it's ... how do you do that? do you know how special you are, how beautiful? perfect ... well, perhaps not that ; because you're stupid for worrying about not owning me. isn't it obvious you already do? were these reminders for me, or wishes for you?"

( eyes flutter to words he can barely read on his bared parts, words overlapping due to frenzy. all true. all true )

with a tightening throat, emotions rising like waves and god he could just drown, matthew lays back on the mattress. meekly pulling the tie out from under him, only to drag it over his used wrists. picturing only her. wondering if this sight would entice her to keep going when she comes out. and he wants to say lilian, you've won! congratulations on having a lover for life! or, something like : yuri couldn't pry me from your cold dead fingers! but what stumbles out is something foolish that he immediately grimaces over. hopefully she's too shaken to judge him too much.

“i think you're my soulmate, lilian. i .. really do.” so why would i ever let you go? or deem you unworthy? it's me, im unworthy. not you, never never -- his lashes tickle his skin when he shuts his eyes. breath hitching before evening out. reminding himself to calm down because matthew thinks he'll actually explode otherwise. a bundle of nerves, of her love, is all he really is.

[fly-sky-high-bug-games]

Hi! I saw you answer an ask about your OC Alyssum and I was instantly pulled in. I went to your list of muses to go read some stuff on her but the link isn't working for some reason. Care to share? 😁 also what other hcs do you have about her (optional w/mugo) 👀

I THINK THAT’S MY FAULT, I keep tagging her as available muse but she’s technically listed as “npc” on the muse post because I didn’t want to introduce her yet (so far story wise, she only appears through dialog and hasn’t popped out yet, hard since she’s at Highgrove and setting is in Hallownest). However, her muse has been... oddly strong lately, I keep drawing and doing tiny rp scenes with her with few friends just to test the waters with her and BOY IT’S KIND OF... INTERESTING.

She might be “oopsie haha murder” kind of character but she’s also playing the nobility part quite well. She’s “polite”, invites bugs for a tea, a little chatter (maybe even a friendly one, she’s capable of it), possibly propositions, no refusal, nice job offers~ or death. One always gets to choose, acting like they have an option but forcefully narrows it to few and plays on mental and emotional state at such circumstances. Tricky~

I have yet to develop the details of her faction and who’s in it but very few people will be. Wasps I already covered, I just have to work around clan leader that’s in contact with Alyssum. Others would be black market dealers (lead merchant), underground snail-mail (postal snail), one of the weavers who’s good with seals and couple of others~ I need to brainstorm on this still. :0

Damn, I already rambled about this and didn’t talk about her much, hold on *throws Alyss tidbits under read more if tumblr allows it to work...*

She was looked after by Magnolia and basically raised by her, some time after she turned to be a queen. Fun tidbits about Magnolia family as a whole, they are not related to one another (mostly) but consider themselves a big family because they took down the previous queen and king of Highgrove while raising from poverty. However, Magnolia and her followers were never kind and forgiving, but with promises that there will be change in balance of the hierarchy, they got a lot of followers and supporters from commoners to usurp the royalty and did so successfully.

Alyssum was young when this happened so while she was somewhat birthed under poverty, she was fully raised as a noble. I don’t have much of her childhood worked out but there isn’t much to say aside from that she was raised and thought under the cruel but rich conditions of the kingdom.

The binding seal on her wings she earned not long before she met Mugo, almost like a sign for maturity and set under higher position in the family and not just as a student. The seals are powerful magic that uses soul, sewed in with magic by the weaver and afterwards trained to use it. It manifests through the shape of petals: swirling, cutting, chipping, slashing or severing, depending on the number of petals created, used, how fast, how they’re choreographed... It’s all soul but she can use regular flower petals that make less damage but not much soul required. Alyss can also use the wings as a shield since the binding is right on them and actually getting through them with anything is worse than trying to cut the metal open. (like, I imagined in game moves, if you know how THK blocks twice then slashes, she does similar things with wings, where she blocks two times but then bursts open the wings to blow the opponent back to the other side of the screen)

But you know, she’s a lady~ Of course she won’t get her hands dirty. :3c She has others to do that for her~

As for her and Mugo... (OH BOY HERE WE GOOOO~!)

I have to say, their relationship and love was rather genuine, it kind of makes me sad it ended up the way it did... With Magnolia, Alyss (and even Zeeke and his family) still visiting Hallownest some time before Pure Vessel was sealed and before infection went crazy (I canonize, by human years, that that was 20ish years before current events, since Hornet seems 15-18ish years old but who knows with bugs~ I just needed approximate idea for the setting). They were at City of tears but Mugo met her somewhere close to it, as she was hiding away from the nobles to explore the outside on her own and spotted Mugo.

Sure, Mugo crushed on her first but when she tested him by giving away her symbol necklace and pedant of White Magnolia for him to sell at black market and get good money, he refused because it was a memento from someone dear to him. It still is... he didn’t take it off because this is when their love was true and pure... Alyss never forget that either. It was very touching to her.

Their relationship was fine, both shared nothing in common but that was such a fun time for both because of it. They were clicking because they were like two different puzzles pieces that do fit together... but sadly, the pieces didn’t give the right picture when one by the other. (don’t you hate when this happens when you’re trying to puzzle grass or sky together?? *shot*) 

Alyssum explained to Mugo how Magnolia works. He didn’t like it one bit, as he ran away from Highgrove partially because they usurped the old rulers and rendered his family’s status almost homeless. Meanwhile, Alyss didn’t like that Mugo kept throwing himself in danger for his job, even if it’s a hobby that means a lot to him, all for sake of survival and geo.

They dated for some time, had fun, but slowly things started kind of... falling apart. The closer Alyss was to heading back to Highgrove the more she pressured Mugo to come with, become part of the family and live with her under riches the Magnolia offers. His counter proposal was, if they’re really in love and she is aware of Magnolia’s wrongdoings, that she would leave them instead and live with him while making the adventures she loved hearing about from him, together. Basically, Mugo put his love for her over riches or anything but Alyss wanted him for herself under the comfort and safety of Magnolia. She couldn’t throw that away, not after building the status and becoming a favorite to Magnolia herself. She thought this was selfish of Mugo but Mugo tried to explain it was for her changing a new leaf and starting over as something good, not ruled by fear and power.

So they started to disagree... argue... and finally physically fight. Of course, Alyss won. Mugo isn’t a fighter. At that moment, it was either she has him or no one does. For Mugo, he could only bark threats. So he did, angered, throwing words he couldn’t even imagine himself doing. When she lighted up her wings, he threatened he will cut them off. So in retribution, she cut him, scaring his face. He saw something or someone completely different then. Mugo ran for his life, leaving Alyss alone.

That was the last time they saw each other, 20ish years ago. Mugo hid away at the lake of Unn and suffered depression and withdrawal for a very long time. As for Alyss... she pulled off something she shouldn’t and Mugo didn’t know about...

He only got one last letter from her, to met her one more time at the Crossroads before she leaves for Highgrove, saying she wants to try one more time and... that she had a surprise for him. He didn’t respond. She waited for him there then left when he never showed...

That was that. :U Until now, at least~ :3 She got to hear about her ex thanks to Zeeke’s shenanigans at the Colosseum~ Oh, what are the odds of the noble meeting and having issues specifically with a certain, scruffy moth~

20 years is quite a bit of time for someone with a heartbreak and power to grow... kind of crazy. Of course she never let go of it. And now she knows he’s still alive too~ Wonder what Alyss will do. :3c