#yes. yes i have. have you tried recommending things that aren't stupid

[drop--pop--candy]

deeply hilarious that i am Absolutely Fucked Up and yet i have never been to a hospital for my own medical reasons. i don't even go to the doctor that often

[harunayuuka2060]

Ace: Oi~ Grim~!

Grim: Mryah! What do you want?!

Ace: Ask your guardian for help~.

Grim: Mryah! No! My hench-human is already busy! And they're going to tease me if they find out what happened!

Ace: What? They're going to know because of that sea anemone on your head.

Grim: Mrhmm... I can just play dumb!

Ace: Tch. You're being stubborn. I'll tell them and you cannot stop me.

Grim: Mrryaaaahhhh!!! No!!!! *starts tackling Ace*

Ace: Wha— Get off me!

Grim: Don't tell my hench-human!

MC: Tell what?

Ace and Grim: AHH!

MC: What's that stupid thing on your head, Grim? Dummy hat? *smirks* Suits you.

Grim: ...

Grim: *starts crying* NRYAAAAAAHHH! Hench-human! *flies to their arms*

MC: Hm? Why are you crying? Don't tell me it's because I called your hat stupid?

Ace: That's not really... You see that on his head and on mine? They're sea anemones.

Ace: We got this after not reaching the top 100 in exams.

MC: Ah... *looks at Grim* Pft—

Grim: Don't laugh at me! Huu...

MC: So... Is that permanent?

Grim: *cries even more*

Ace: It will last a year, unless you help us?

MC: And why would I do that? You botched your exams. That's not my problem.

Ace: But aren't you worried about Grim? He's crying and feeling helpless!

MC: Nah~. That should teach you a lesson. Let's go, Grim. There's a huge steak waiting for you at the dorm.

Grim: I can't... *sniffles* I need to work at the Monstro Lounge...

Ace: Yeah! All of us with sea anemones are forced to work!

MC: Huh. So this stupid thingy is not just for embarrassment?

MC: ...

MC: Alright. Now I'm part of the business.

Azul: I can't possibly allow that...

MC: Why not?

Azul: The students involved signed a contract and they've agreed to follow all the terms.

MC: Huh. Is that so?

Azul: Yes. I know it's unfortunate, however—

MC: I'll work for you instead of Grim and the two dudes over there. *pointing at Ace and Deuce*

Azul: ...

Azul: For free?

MC: Don't be stupid. I'd still want a minimum wage.

Azul: That won't do.

MC: I'm a fucking skilled worker. Sure you heard I cleaned the whole school on my own.

Azul: ...

Azul: Can you work until closing?

MC: What do you take me for?

Azul: *smiles* Then, it's settled. Here are their contracts.

Ace: My name's Ace Trappola!

Deuce: And mine is Deuce Spade. Thank you so much!

Grim: Hench-human...

MC: What's your order?

Student A: Can you recommend something that is not on the menu? *snickers with his other classmates*

MC: Huh? Are you a fucking idiot?

The students: ...

MC: You go to a pizza place, you are expected to buy a pizza. It's the same when you go to a meat shop or steak house.

MC: You stupid bitch don't ask for a damn shit that is not on the menu. What? You think you're smart for doing that?

Student A: U-Um...

MC: What's your order and you better give me an answer that is on the fucking menu.

Student A: ...

Student A: Carbonara...

MC: *smiles* Now we're talking. Floyd! Four carbonaras on table 4!

Floyd: Coming right up~.

Ace, Deuce, and Grim: *watching them*

Deuce: Your guardian is amazing, Grim.

Ace: Yeah, yeah. Sure. But when are we going to order—

Jade: *sets dishes on their table*

Jade: *smiles* It's on the house.

Ace and Deuce: ...

Grim: Nyaha! These look good!

Ace: Uh... No offense. But why?

Jade: Azul is thankful that he accepted MC's offer. We have reached our quota and it isn't even closing yet.

Ace: Huh? Do you mean to say you've been getting more customers than before?

Jade: Yes.

Ace: Whoa...

Deuce: Hey, Grim! Don't just eat all the food by yourself!

Grim: What? It's my hench-human's hard work.

MC: *yawns* Go to sleep now, Grim.

Grim: Nryah... I'm so full..

MC: *when they're just about to close their eyes, receives a call* *tries to ignore it*

*their phone continues to ring*

MC: *clicks their tongue* *answers it* What?

MC: ...

MC: A modelling job?

MC: ...

MC: Nah. *hangs up*

Vil: ...

Vil: What the—

[akirathedramaqueen]

CBT and Exposure Therapy: Blitzø Showcase

An important (really, don't skip) disclaimer

If you are contemplating whether or not you would benefit from any kind of therapy, consider consulting with your medical provider first. While I did my best to validate all the points made using publicly available resources, I am not a medical professional. At the very least, I strongly advise that you do your own research and not take some amateur's opinion about a character from a silly demon show for granted.

"Everyone in this show needs fucking therapy STAT!"

We hear fans screaming into the void every now and then. Me too. I plead guilty and I willingly put myself in custody. But I am not taking these words back.

Especially often it is being said with Blitzø in mind, who, as hinted earlier and clearly shown in the latest episode, Ghostfuckers, is not doing okay. Not in the slightest.

Which is . . . yes. Indeed, trauma-ridden Blitzø is a major problem for both him and those around him. Yes, we see him reaching his lowest point now exactly because he left these gaping wounds untreated for so long.

But the tricky question is—how, though? What to do? Will a good talking to a confidante help? Or, maybe, some kind of shock would snap him out of the spiral?

I've been pondering on this topic for more than 4 months, and, as the Ghostfuckers came out, I finally got all the data I need to prove a point. The show did all the job for me and effectively made Blitzø go through improvised versions of two popular therapy techniques. And, before I even start, I want to say—I am so glad with what we ended up with. What they did, and, more importantly, didn't do, aligns well with how it would likely happen in real life.

So buckle up, and let's see where it gets us!

Therapy # 1. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT

This is, in essence and with some corrections, your good old talking. Here you can find more information about it, so, if you're not familiar with the topic, I recommend following the link first.

But, very shortly: CBT is an extremely common approach to be tried while you're dealing with anxiety, depression, and a number of other mental disorders. What it aims to do is to help you get past unhelpful thinking (distortions) and learn not to act on it.

Looks like it fits the bill, right? Blitzø has a lot of issues with self-fulfilling prophecies, infuriatingly stupid assumptions, poorly thought-out actions . . .

But he's not like, you know . . . w-we're not, like . . . we're not doing a . . . w-we . . . what's betw— It's a transactional fucking, you see.

If you don't feel like coming, that's OK! I'm sure I can do without it for one month. :)

Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his matress! It's nothing, ya know . . . it's nothing else.

You . . . no longer have any obligation to see me, to touch me, to bed me . . . You are— you are free of me.

He sees things which aren't truly there.

It's not Stolas giving him space after the disaster in the 'Ozzie's.' It must be Stolas not needing him anymore, getting tired of him.

It's not Stolas caring about Blitzø. He is a royal, why would he care how an imp's day he happened to be fucking was?

It's not Stolas setting Blitzø free and putting an end to a problematic transaction they had with the hope for it to grow into something more. It's him getting rid of Blitzø.

As a result, he ends up hurting himself and the relationship he had with that one sad gay bird he happened to fall deeply for but literally trashed in his own house twice, acting on nothing more than frenetic fear of losing Stolas, but in reality, driving him away even more . . . for good.

I mean, you royal fucks think you can do this every time, like you can just play with our feelings because we're smaller and not as important!

Ha! I'm right, aren't I? You get off getting plowed by people you look down on!

And I can sorry more people, everyone but you! 'Cause I don't owe you dick! Everyone, but you . . .

So, the case's closed? Let someone—say, Millie—talk to him and tell him how wrong he was about himself and the others?

Well, here's the thing. Despite him being infinitely wrong about Stolas's intentions, we can't deny the fact that every one of his beliefs was not, in fact, a distortion. It'd led him to wrong conclusions, yes, but it was built on the information he received and legitimate experiences he had in his life. Here are only some of the facts connected to only this situation with Stolas, but there are other problematic behaviors and other reasons for him acting the way he does.

Fact # 1. The circus fire did happen, and Blitzø was the reason for it. Unintentional, and of course it wasn't his fault, but it still ruined the lives of many people—him included. Blitzø cannot act like it never occurred.

Fact # 2. Hell is divided by class and race. Their situationship with the grimoire was an embodiment of that inequality. A lot of Blitzø's outburst during the Full Moon and later in the Apology Tour was connected to it, to his beliefs that Stolas is the same as the rest of the privileged circle. Beliefs, I stress, justified by the real world. Stolas is more of an exception, and even then, his behavior is only different when it comes to Blitzø. He still acts the same toward other imps.

Fact # 3. We knew about Stolas's intentions all along, but before that fateful Full Moon, what Blitzø saw was Stolas avoiding him and not communicating the issue the Ozzie's date had raised. And before Ozzie's? Stolas did act entitled and inappropriate. He was baby-talking to Blitzø and used derogatory terms while addressing him. The dude literally called him an impish plaything in the Truth Seekers.

Fact # 4. Blitzø's heavily implied (though not officially confirmed by the show) existing conditions—ADHD*, BPD**, PTSD, and dyslexia/dyscalculia***—do affect his life, and while Hell seems to be somewhat receptive of neurodivergence, he still has to deal with it every single fucking day. He is going to be avoidant and afraid to be abandoned at the same time. He is going to hate himself. His learning disabilities are going to make his life harder. No way around it.

Note: *, **, and *** contain links to separate meta-analyses from @timkontheunsure and @tealvenetianmask about the respective conditions and how they show themselves in Blitzø's case.

And my beef with CBT here is exactly that. CBT's goal is to gaslight you into believing your distortions hold no water and suggests you just ignore them. And, as I've shown with Blitzø, these reactions and assumptions aren't baseless. They are legitimate, and, in fact, sometimes help to get by. Even though it's a crooked crutch, you can't learn to walk properly by just throwing that crutch away. You're still going to limp, and oh, will it be painful.

This is oversimplistic and dismissive. Anxiety and depression don't come out of the blue, and with mental disabilities, it's even deeper. The class/disability stigma is alive and strong, and just slapping a "you're fine" bandaid on your traumatized self isn't going to help.

Therapy # 2. Exposure therapy.

Exposure therapy is another approach commonly used while dealing with traumatic past and its aftermath—PTSD, anxiety, phobias, and such. Again, if you're not familiar, there's the link for you, but very shortly—the therapist puts the patient in a safe environment and 'exposes' them to the feared object in question for limited periods of time. The goal is to eventually get rid of the targeted fear and decrease avoidance.

And Blitzø has got some phobias for sure.

The fear of letting everyone down. Again.

And the fear of abandonment. Again.

All of it is a result of self-hatred, sitting so deeply it rules his life and his vision of how others perceive him. Said it himself. Almost.

So, where and how does the show expose Blitzø to his traumatic past?

First, the most recent, and the most obvious one—Rolando and his slideshow of all traumatic events Blitzø ever had in his life.

Second—Blitzø's drug trip in the Truth Seekers. While it does not contain the events of the past as they were, it does force him to face his fears.

Are you worried I might have enough of it one day as well? . . . You're going to die alone! . . . You're going to die alone, Blitzo!

With some stretch, the third one is Verosika's 'Blitzo sucks' party. Where Blitzø was forced to see the consequences of his avoidance and rejection.

Note: to be clear, I do think the party does not show the true extent of Blitzø's actions and how much he'd hurt people. It was exaggerated by Verosika, and here I explain why this is the case.

So, what gives? Or, rather, what gives it not?

It might sound funny now, considering I brought it up myself, but I, once again, say this is not therapeutic, just as CBT kind of 'talking.' If anything, all these three events did more harm than good.

The D.H.O.R.K.S.'s goal in the Truth Seekers was to torture the information out of Blitzø. He was not supposed to overcome it. He was supposed to crack.

The Verosika's goal was to ruin Blitzø's reputation. She was working her ass off to prove he's just a heartless freak.

The Rolando's goal was to fucking kill Blitzø.

And okay, their motivations had nothing to do with helping him, but maybe it did, in its own twisted way?

No. The writers added this to push Blitzø past the breaking point, not to heal him, and to show us more of his lore. Each time he was forced to face his past or fears or consequences, he was only spiraling more.

The only thing which did him some good was . . . well, Millie finally seeing his bravado mask falling off. But the cost of it was way too high. Not worth it.

To the therapy's defense, some points why it would never work in the way it was done in the show:

Blitzø had never given his consent and was not ready to face it. I might be very rude right now, but go and try producing some explosion-like sounds in front of war veterans without letting them know first and see what happens.

The amount of fearful experience exposed was way too overboard. He couldn't possibly digest it in a healthy way.

The environment was not safe. It was straight-up retraumatizing, an intentional one.

So there's that.

But what helped then?

We've briefly brushed over the fact Millie did talk to Blitzø. While I did imply this might be an example of CBT, here are some key deviations from the classic therapy which made all the difference.

Millie didn't sugarcoat all the shit Blitzø did. He was hurting their business. He didn't pay her. He was reduced to Bethanie. It showed her opinion can be trusted.

Millie apologized for not being there for him sooner. She admitted she relied too much on Blitzø being bulletproof, unbothered by everything. She admitted she didn't support him in a way he always did.

While proving she could never hate Blitzø, she used their common story, one he knows and can recall. She used evidence to prove him wrong, not a "it's all in your head" bandaid. And more than that, later she proved it with action—not for one second did she believe Rolando and his shittalk about what Blitzø supposedly was thinking about her. Her unwavering faith spoke more than any words ever could.

Getting back to exposure therapy . . . Metaphorically, she reminded Blitzø he can handle a beating or two. And physically beat the infestor demon out of him, which, as we can see later, didn't really affect Blitzø that much. He wasn't even battered. So, apparently, when the said exposure is done by someone who genuinely tries to make you feel better and knows your limits well, it might just work?

And finally, Millie acknowledged Blitzø's pain. She didn't brush it away. She validated him.

What all of this is about?

Like every treatment, too much of a medicine can become poisonous. So are CBT and exposure therapy.

They might help, and lots of research shows they do in certain cases. But there are limitations to what they can and cannot achieve, and they have to be adjusted to each individual story, to each trauma, and they should not be applied as a way to mend the outcome of the trauma without taking into account the story it comes with. Again, legitimate concerns and experiences cannot be brushed away or ignored.

Actualy . . . we've seen where it leads in the show too. In the beginning, Millie was quite dismissive of Blitzø's worries—all of this over a . . . breakup?

And here it comes full circle.

Only when Millie started taking Blitzø seriously, did it help them progress. And look how quickly we've switched from a complete despair to a glimmer of hope! Isn't that a beautiful closing scene?

As a closing note—we do not need to 'fix' Blitzø. After all this shit he went through, there won't be a day where he wakes up and be like, "Hey, I don't hate myself anymore! And look, I'm not afraid to be abandoned or misunderstood!"

I'm sorry to break it to you, but this is a lifelong battle. Being mentally whole, healthy, and constantly happy is no more than a myth, and everyone has their own demons and skeletons to deal with.

What Blitzø needs is some good support system to pull him back when he's down.

And boy, do I hope that one particular owl will fill in that role of unyielding pillar for Blitzø each time our lizard will fall into that pit again. Look, I love Millie, but there's only so much she can do. She can't be always present, she has her own life . . . and her own disaster of a husband to look after (affectionate <3). Here and here @lost-romantique talks about Stolas's capacity of loving, with me occasionally nodding, ha-ha. But to be short—it's fucking immense. And since he loves words, I do believe he has all the energy to tell again and again and again how awesome Blitzø is. Even if Blitzø wouldn't believe it himself.

[therealvinelle]

I want to get into old movies (say 1930s to maybe 1980s) because I watched Casablanca and it was really good, so I followed it up with Sunset Boulevard (1950) which was also really good. Then a friend recommended Night of the Comet (1984) which was very different but really good too. I think the old movies which survived this long were better written then most of the stuff that comes out now.

Sooo... do you have any favorite old movies? Or just general recommendations (would also be interested in Muffin's recs if she's got any)

This is my third time typing this out for you... browser keeps reloading.

I do love older movies, you have come to the right place, @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin loves older movies too (I'm saying "older", not "old", since 1980's movies aren't old and I refuse to believe they are).

I'll give you my recs by genre, not decade.

And this list is really a list of the movies that came to mind as I sat down to type this, so please, please come back with a more specific request as 1930's-1980's really covers... most of the movies that have been made.

Action

Jaws Very famous movie, this is Henrik Ibsen's Enemy of the People but with sharks.

Terminator What do you do if you lose the war, but you have a time machine? Travel back in time to kill your enemy's mother before she can birth him. Meanwhile in the 1980's Sarah Connor is having a very bad day.

Epics, romance, biographical and historical (yes, I'm lumping these together)

Amadeus About a man who is not Mozart, and upset about the fact.

Bridge on the River Kwai One of my all-time favorite movies: man is torn between loyalty to his country, and building a great bridge (this is a misleading summary: he's not torn at all, bridge wins hands down). The ending is parodied in Tropic Thunder, if you've seen that movie.

Dangerous Liaisons (1988) Sexy French aristocrats conspire to ruin each other's lives with sex.

Doctor Zhivago By my favorite director, this is a love story that really feels like Lawrence of Arabia if Lawrence was a woman and they were in Russia.

Godfather I and II Not overrated.

Lawrence of Arabia Man keeps trying to quit his job because sometimes all desert and no break from desert makes Lawrence a homicidal boy. Allenby says "Nonsenese, chap, you're doing wonderfully!" Cinematic history is made.

Horror and thrillers

The Exorcist I sometimes wonder if this movie should not have been made, because lesser movies have tried to recreate what Exorcist managed so well for decades, and all they've done is make bad movies that make me wish I was watching the Exorcist.

Nosferatu The year was 1922, no real precedent for copyright infringement had been had, and the producers of this movie which is definitely not Dracula by Bram Stocker were shocked and appalled they were... sued?? For theft of intellectual property? No!!! Coincidentally the most faithful adaptation of Dracula by Bram Stoker in existence. And free literally everywhere since it's 102 years old, you can watch this movie on its wikipedia page.

Sunset Boulevard While it's a well-known fact that a lot of silent movie actors and actresses were unable to adjust to the change when "talkies" were introduced, and they subsequently lost their careers, the window for casting one such washed up actress has long since closed. Sunset Boulevard, released in 1950, was able to do this however which makes it all the more meta and delightful.

Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? The only two people who hate each other more than the sisters this movie is about, were the actresses who played them. To the point of Joan Crawford sabotaging the movie's chances with the Oscars, because she hated Betty Davies that much (Betty Davies called her a stupid idiot for doing this).

Musicals

Fiddler on the Roof Just watch it.

My Fair Lady "The rain in Spain falls mainly on Henry Higgins because he's stupid."

Westerns

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kidd Fun romp about two charming criminals, and how good things don't always last.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly I frankly forget what the plot was for this one, I just remember having a great time watching it.

Foreign section

Det syvende innseglet (The Seventh Seal) A knight plays a game of chess with Death.

Jean de Florette + Manon des Sources French accountant moves to the countryside to farm rabbits, this does not go well for him. In the sequel, his daughter has gotten interesting.

La vita è bella (Life is Beautiful) When we watched this in Italian class I had to leave during the first half to go the school nurse, came back during the second half. Greatest whiplash of my life.

Ladri di bicicletta (Bicycle Thieves) Some poor fool looked at Italy after WWII and thought "I bet people want a depressing movie about poverty". The movie bombed, but it's very good and I recommend it.

Ran King Lear, but in Japan.

Veiviseren (Pathfinder) First ever Saami movie, based on an old legend. Strongly recommend.

Bonus: TV shows

Columbo (first two seasons only) Sometimes you're the cleverest little criminal in the world :) but there's a stupid man in a stupid coat who won't stop asking you stupid questions about things he shouldn't be so obsessed about because it's making you look guilty (which you are but he's being rude!)

I, Claudius Fantastic about the imperial Roman family in the Julio-Claudian dynasty. And available for free on youtube!

The Prisoner Unnamed man tries unsuccessfully to leave a beautiful village. You can watch the episodes in any order you like, doesn't matter, he's not getting out of that village.

Bonus: 90's movies

Goodfellas Hilarious, horrible, and so entertaining. A mafia movie about horrible people who like money.

Se7en One of the only noir movies I've liked, this is something of a comfort movie for me. This and Silence of the Lambs are mandatory yearly watches for me. Watch this and you'll finally get all those "WHAT'S IN THE BOX??" jokes.

Silence of the Lambs Possibly my favorite feminist movie, to the point where I sincerely believed this was appropriately described as a chick flic. It's the film where Clarice Starling discovers the only person who'll treat her like an equal is the serial killer cannibal.

The Usual Suspects Your parents have seen this movie, and it was huge for them.

Total Recall Just a great adaptation of one of my favorite short stories.

Unforgiven THE Western movie, what you should do is watch a bunch of Clint Eastwood Westerns and then wrap it up with this one because it's a sequel to all of them.

Bonus: directors to look for

Ingmar Bergman (watch his movies and discover a lot of the films you like are just remakes of his things)

Clint Eastwood (a lot of his movies are newer, but he's so good. You should watch his things, I promise you will find one you like.)

Blake Edwards (fantastic comedic director, same sense of humor as Muffin and myself if that tells you anything)

Alfred Hitchock (he's not in fact overrated)

David Lean (god of directors)

Pier Paolo Pasolini (huge name in Italian cinema)

Steven Spielberg (also not overrated)

Billy Wilder (Sunset Boulevard, among others. Hilarious director)

Please. Give me a more specific genre.

[krispycreamcake]

sakamaki with a latin gf!!! pleasee

From author: I fucking love poc asks so much. Also to make this just a tiny bit easier on myself since I have writer's block rn, I'll just do something a bit short today

Sakamaki's with a Latin gf

Shu Sakamami

🎻- Slightly intrigued by the culture

🎻- Would honestly ask a couple questions if he was up to listening to you rant about your customs

🎻- Honestly likes the music you play sometimes (he has a playlist of Celia Cruz but shh)

🎻- Also yes yes before you shoot me, I know he likes classical but he seems like the type of guy who could appreciate the way how salsa music incorporates different instruments to have a specific kick to the genre

🎻- Once you told him about paella and now he asks you to make it for him almost all the time

🎻- Terrified of meeting your family and avoids it at all costs but tries to pretend it doesn't bother him

Reiji Sakamaki

☕️- Extremely educated on Latin culture

☕️- Asks you for local book recommendations

☕️- Genuinely wants your opinion on Japanese culture and how much of a difference it is compared to your own

☕️- Like Shu, he enjoys the music and if he had to pick he'd say Los Tres Diamantes was his favourite band from that genre

☕️- Invested in learning Spanish and takes pride in tackling another language alongside German

☕️- Since Latino culture is extremely diverse, he'd ask you about your OWN personal experience a lot of the times

Ayato Sakamaki

🏀- "Of course the great ore-sama could obviously get any girl he wants from around the world!"

🏀- Cocky asshole

🏀- See it's one thing being able to charm those around you that you share similarities with, but it takes something special to make someone completely different than yourself fall in love with you

🏀- And Ayato knows this, takes pride in it even

🏀- Hmm when it comes to how interested he is about the culture I'd give it 5/10

🏀- He cares about you more than all those fancy songs and food, but that is YOUR culture, so by extension he kinda has to care even if it's just a little bit

🏀- Asks you to speak Spanish and if you can't, he'll make fun of you for it and tease you by telling you to go learn a thing or two from Reiji

Laito

🃏- Lorddddddd

🃏- LORDDDDDD

🃏- Well before I start, let me just say that he's also educated on the culture just maybe not as much as Reiji, so anything he does is a means to tease you by playing coy and outright stupid

🃏- Just also would like to add, if you're from Brazil and happen to have a curvy body, he WILL comment on that

🃏- If you have a flatter body type, he'll tease (annoy) you by asking how come you don't have more uh curves in certain areas because that's supposed to be what you're "known for"

🃏- Trust me, he's only saying this to get a reaction, he loves you in his own weird fucked up way

🃏- But expect a lot of comments like that and at some point you'll probably need to tell him off

🃏- Midnight salsa dancing because well, do you honestly expect anything else from him?

🃏- One of his favourite things to do is watch those cliche over dramatic Spanish dramas and eats it up every single time there turns out to be a twin brother

Kanato Sakamaki

🧸- Like Ayato, doesn't care that much about the culture, rather his main focus is on you

🧸- Probably likes to hear you tell scary folklore stories from wherever you're from

🧸- And on that note, he already knows about La Lloronoa and Sihuanaba

🧸- Makes Teddy™ cover his ears when you get to the scary parts

🧸- Comments on how he'd still love you as a vengeful ghost and might even prefer it that way

🧸- Like Laito, he has this preconceived notion that you're meant to be curvy but doesn't care if you aren't

��- Besides if he only liked you for your body, he'd kill you and preserve you somewhere, hiding you away from the rest of the world where only he could see you. But he'd never do that riiiiiiight?

Subaru Sakamaki

🥀- Learns how to salsa when no one is around so he could impress you one day

🥀- Like Laito, he also watches those cliche Spanish soap operas but pretends he doesn't like them and think they're overrated (He's on the second season of Monarca)

🥀- Secretly interested in the culture and would ask Reiji for some books so he could learn more

🥀- Doesn't want to seem dumb in front of you but also doesn't want make a fool of himself by saying words he doesn't understand or asking dumb questions

🥀- If you speak Portuguese or Spanish, likes hearing you talk in your native tongue

🥀- Out of all the brothers, he'd be the one to treat you the most "normally" by not pestering you with questions or flaunting you off like a trophy he just won

🥀- You try to teach him your native language so you could both shit talk his brothers right in front their faces

From Author: It has been so long since I opened this app omfg but I've been busy with a lot of irl things so now I should have a bit more time to produce more content yay (I'm this close to jumping off a bridge with how dead the fandom is rn)

[justicefortheunderground]

omfg I swear this is the last post I'm making on this. I'm so tired of it going over screenshots sent in the discord in order so it might be off, sorry. I don't HATE anybody, im uncomfortable with people and thus don't want to interact. In fact I was one of the last people in the discord server to voice my concerns. It's not something to be 'fixed', it's simply a boundary. All I'm asking is not to interact, if you don't want drama change or just abide by our requests to not interact?? We aren't like banning you from roleplay or anything that'd be stupid. Just make your own space if you aren't going to change, please. Also. I've never told anybody specifically to avoid any of the blogs. This was a decision most of you collectively agreed on, this blog is just being focused on fsr so that's where we're directing the posts. 1// Queer erasure is essentially intentionally or unintentionally removing a character or person's queerness. This is a bad thing to do for tons of reasons which you can research on your own time. This post will be long enough already. They/them Clover IS strictly canon, as a quote DIRECTLY from the developers says. Please get your facts in order. The issue isn't that Clover's gender is being changed, it's that their pronouns are being changed from more genderqueer pronouns, to more cisgender pronouns. Regardless of if this is intentionally or not, this IS queer erasure, and makes a lot of people extremely uncomfortable. 2// Try not to think about yourself that way, it comes off as guilt-trippy to people. And I was trying to go over each of your points to debunk, it was just a short quip. Sorry. 3//"it's just the internet" is a bad way to excuse your behavior. Don't. 4//Aging up characters in order to ship them in a less controversial way is almost universally a REALLY gross thing to do for so many reasons. There are a ton of videos that dive really deep into this topic, highly recommend. No NSFW should already be a given. 5//I didn't say choose another ship, I said another character. Yaknow. An adult. Also yes PLEASE stop interacting with underblog. We are not attacking anybody, we've only been responding to when you guys come to us. Genuinely we just don't want to interact. We have never EVER wished death on anybody. Seriously if anybody has I'm EXTREMELY sorry about that, if anybody has please let us know that's literally the worst thing somebody could do. In the discord KYS JOKES are even banned. I don't hate you, I don't think any of us underblog folks really do. We just are genuinely really uncomfortable and don't want to interact but this keeps escalating. I assume it's because you guys are young but honestly, please genuinely grow up. I don't believe any of this was intentional but the way it was handled was extremely poor. I genuinely hope you guys realize with time because I know I was absolutely like this when I was younger. It's not an attempt to flame any of you, I've never tried to flame any of you, only responded in ways I wish I'd gotten responded to when I was like this. I don't think any of us on either side are bad people, I think reactions were just handled badly. You can make your own roleplay space, honestly we really just don't like interacting with you guys. It's extremely draining. Please stop. And this is NOT just from me. I review these messages with the rest of underblog before posting. We're all just really fucking tired. Speaking of any of you (underblog) are more than free to add on your own thoughts below just keep it respectful.

[zombietoilets2234]

I don't know how it happened. I was walking down the road late one Friday night after looking for this club my mate had recommended. After several hours of looking I'd given it up as a stupid joke and was returning to my car. Boy it was cold out my nipples could cut glass. I was getting some pretty funny looks from the local population as I was wearing nothing, but some tight leather pants and a mesh net shirt. I was getting really nervous and started to walk faster. Finally I reached my car and unlocked the door shivering I started the car and turned on the heat rubbing my hands together and trying to get warm again if I hadn't been so busy warming up I would have noticed the man in the back seat. Just as I looked up he reached up and put a wet rag on my face it smelled horrible like stale piss I struggled like mad but he was so strong I started panicking as the lights from the head lights started to get dim and with one finally jerk I passed out cold. After I don't know how long I woke up in what I could only guess as a hospital room because all I could see was bright florescent lights I tried to raise my head and look around but something was wrong I couldn't move an inch. Panicking I took stock of my surroundings I was on a table cold and hard. My eyes got used to the bright lights and I noticed a large laser looking instrument that's when I heard the soft but steady sound of someone walking nearby. Look who's finally awake and I thought you sleep right though you procedure you see you're a lucky one you get to be turned into the very thing you were looking for tonight. I looked at him in confusion but couldn't speak all I could get out was a muffled gagging. Ahh don't try to talk son. Your tongue has been fused to the bottom of your jaw. So as I was saying you are going to be turned into the very thing you wanted. You see my employer has paid a good deal of money to replace his as it got destroyed by his Husband. Looking confused you start to scream at him but no words or sound came out. He laughed, still confused. Well your going to be turned into an ass boy with your mouth being the ass hole aren't you pleased. You'll get to constantly taste ass and get face fucked but don't worry you'll enjoy it. Your ears start to ring as he says that. This can't be true what the fuck is he mad or something. He steps closer holding a syringe he places it your arm and you start to feel all tingly and happy. There I've given you some pain meds to help as this will be painful this laser will rearrange you cells to fit the shape and purpose of your new position by this time tomorrow you be nothing but ass fat and ass lips. you'll keep you tongue and nose but they won't be noticeable for all intensive purposes you'll be a sphincter. He starts the machine and points it at your face and turns it on. You feel a burning sensation like hot wax as you slowly start to reform into your new shape what feels like days takes only minutes and there you sit all senses are near your mouth. What you don't know yet is your already attached to your new host with such precision that you're unrecognizable from the back. There you go Wyatt how do you like your new ass. It's perfect, doc dead ringer. I'm glad, well before you can leave you will need to take a shit for me so I can tell if everything is working fine. Do you need to shit Wyatt sir. Now that you mentioned it yes doc, really bad. The doctor leads him to the bathrooms. Ok I'll need to watch to make sure everything works right but go ahead and sit down. Wyatt sits on the toilet. You noticed a change in pressure around your lips and can smell fresh air but something else is coming. you feel it slowly build up behind your cheeks as Wyatt pushes and bears down your lips start to be pushed apart and you start to smell shit as it comes out slowly you can feel it dragging over your tongue you can taste it. You know nothing but that taste that's when you finally realize you are an ass you are nothing but a shit hole and you love it this is home.

Thank you for reading this is my first story I've ever written. please be honest and tell me your opinions. This is my fantasy and something I want done to me.

[leffee]

resending the ask about lps fic recs! :]

Yes, thank you! I already had a list done and then I deleted the ask like a dumbass and was scared my efforts would come to waste. So I might have went a lil overboard, but on the other hand, you might have a bigger choice if you haven't read those. There aren't many lps fics unfortunately so if you ever looked for them you might have seen a lot of them, but I tried. A lot of them are of course Vinnie/Vinnil-centric though because I'm biased. And a lot of those are unfinished, unfortunately.

First of all:

LPS High School AU

Littlest Pet Shop: High School AU

Both of those are done by two different authors who, if I understand correctly, are friends and so the stories are similiar in some ways which was mutually agreed upon. Just so you know. But they are literally so good omg and you know what's even better? They are still being updated to this day. Rather sparily but still, they are on-going in the holy year of 2023! Each of those authors also have a correlating story but in the style of a chatroom. Here they are respectively:

LPS Chatroom

LPS High School AU: Chatrooms

The first author also has this book with kind of different Aus and stuff with those lovelies:

Littlest Pet Shop Human AU: Side St...

Now some stuff from ao3:

Fame, Love & Drama - just short, unfinished Vinnil fic, honestly it's very adorable (there's a tiny bit of nsfw in there, unfortunately for me)

Stupid With Love - I don't exactly remember much about this one, but I do remember enjoying it, plus it's a Russell x Vinnie one and that's always welcomed

Can't Sleep Love - this one is an absolute materpiece and the most important one amongst all those, seriously, if you haven't yet I really, really recommend it. It is genuinely so good and filled with realistic feelings and I absolutely love it. I hope every single day it updates because it's just too good. Oh yeah, it's Vinnil.

Crush Roulette - just a cute shot with a lot of crushes.

A New Home - okay, this one, to summarize i,t is kind of what if the pets met their half-human counterparts. But besides that there's a lot of Blythe and those humanized pets interactions and especially with Vinnie.

warm embrace, cold soul - an one-shot, this one focused on Vinnie and his cold-bloodness (which is basically my favourite thing ever). Very cute, platonic Sunil and Vinnie.

Some of that old fanfiction.net goodness:

Surname, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - basically a cute Vinnil one shot

Spines, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - my stars the tasty Vinnie angst mmmmmmmmm, there's Sunil x Russell and Vinnie's not happy :( it's basically a perfect combination of understanding and angst

Waiting, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - basically a description of the pets missing Blythe after her departure to F.U.N. at the end of season 1. Actually really well written and sweet.

Breaking Chapter 1: The break, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - what do ya know, another Vinnil one with that sweet sweet mostly Vinnie angst. Definitely one of my favourite lps works.

Holding Hearts, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - Sepper happens and Vinnie is really, really not fucking happy. It's short but absolutely wonderful and has that little bit of Penny and Vinnie which I absolutely love.

Littlest High Chapter 1, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - this one I actually recommend chapter 4. It's an OC x canon based fic which I don't like in general, but chapter 4 is basically about the main seven (as humans) talking about their over-the-top fucked up life xd. No, but it's actually good, and some of my headcanons are at least based on this thing.

Something About Pirates Chapter 1, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - Vinnie and Sunil are adorable and Russell goes insane. Yeah.

Littlest High Chapter 5, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - just a fanfic with humanized pets attending high school while the humans from the original are teachers. Basically a highschool fic but I liked it. (Plus is clearly makes Vinnie the shortest and I live for that. Yeah, I'm biased)

Warmth, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - oh boy, another very sweet Vinnil one-shot, and again, Vinnie's cold blood is an important point and I am in love.

HouseCity101 REQUEST - Only for Zoe - a Vinnie x Zoe Fanfiction, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - ok, surprise surprise, this and is Vinnie and Zoe one. Basically, Vinnie tries to change himself for Zoe and trying to be better than Digby. Yeah. Good thing.

Being a guy, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - a big, juicy Vinnie angst (starting to see a pattern here? I love traumatizing him ^^) and Sunil and Russell are worried. And angry.

Choose Your Ship Chapter 4: Zoinnie, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - this one is just a few one-shots with different ships. Good one-shots. And yes, there's another Vinnie x Zoe.

Opposite Personalities Chapter 1, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - just a fun story with pets having their personalities changed 180. Very much unfinshed though.

Little Moments Chapter 1 - Sunil, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - absolutely adorable stories with Blythe caring and loving the lps pets. More like Russell and Sunil because there are 2 chapters but they are lovely. Especially the Sunil one.

Will You Go With Me? (Re-Edit), a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - another Vinnie x Zoe one-shot. It's short, it's sweet, I like it.

Sunil's Romantic B-day, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - this was absolutely my favourite one-shot when Sunil was still my favourite character and, oh yes, he was for quite a while. Vinnil of course.

The Trials of Vinnie Terrio, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - another very much unfinished fic about Vinnie becoming smart because of that classic bonk on the head. We were robbed of such episode, tell me I'm wrong.

LPS College AU Chapter 1, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - the pets go to college, yes, as pets. Very Sunil and Vinnie centric thing but others are there as well. I derived some of my Vinnie headcanons from there, and yup, there's angst which is unrequited love mmmm my favourite.

Vinnie Falls For A Monkey, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - a lot of Vinnie/Minka interactions but in a sort of angsty manner. It's kinda hard to describe it, but it's just really good, believe me. They argue :o

College Boys Chapter 1: Work it Off, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - basically a few stories about the boys in college with each chapter focusing on a different one. Adorbs.

The Hunger Games Chapter 1: The Lives Beforehand, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - okay, okay, this is something else entirely. It's like Hunger Games with the humanized pets. It's actually really, really good! I kid you not I had been craving something like that for a long time when I started liking the show and this person delivered. It's very well-written with long chapters and deep indications. Very much unfinished though :(.

I Love You, a littlest pet shop fanfic | FanFiction - another Vinnil one-shot with them being adroable and others being happy about this :>

My fingers ouchie now. Worth it though. Hope you find something for yourself that you haven't seen yet and like :>

[theladyofbloodshed]

Obviously your blog is mostly centered around the shit storm that is ACOTAR. I'm curious, how do you feel about TOG? If you've read it that is. I've always preferred TOG to ACOTAR, mostly besides Dorian owns my heart, it also seemed more sculpted I guess (that's not the exact word I was looking for, but it works), and less focused on "romance" or whatever the fuck this wasn't meant to be a pun but the fact that it was my first thought for word choice is funny. Feysand and Nessian are, even tho romance is something that happens throughout the series and becomes more of a focus in later books, and I just preferred Celaena overall to Feyre. I know the series has its issues and isn't perfect by any means at all, my very strong prescription rose-colored glasses aren't that tinted. 😂 I read the series for the first time when I was a teenager, technically I read ACOTAR at the same age but we'll overlook that for now, the characters and the story have a special place in my heart and I'm not sure if it's actually good-aside from it's clear problems-or just my aforementioned rose colored glasses.

Totally okay if you don't answer questions about SJM's other series, if you do answer pls be gentle despite telling myself I'm not I'm Soft 😂. I trust your opinion, which is why I'm asking despite being Soft. Hope you have a better day tomorrow and Hercules is an incredible choice after a difficult day. 💜

Buckle up, this will be long!!!!

Weirdly, I was living in Copenhagen and I was in a group for young people new to the city and somebody wrote about making a book club. 4 of us turned up - one from USA, one from Netherlands, one from Spain, and me - so we were just chatting about books in a coffee shop and somebody recommended throne of glass. I'd tried to read books like divergent and the mortal instruments and did not like the "chosen girl who is the best at everything" cliche so I was like HARD PASS. (At that point Empire of Storms and ACOMAF had come out that year).

I didn't think about that book again but I did keep going to the library and I read Maze Runner which I loved and still pair with my time in Denmark lmao.

Anyway. I also did reddit gift exchanges and one year (maybe 2017/2018), somebody sent me Tower of Dawn and ACOTAR. I didn't touch either for ages. They just sat on my shelf because neither appealed.

Anyway, in a bid to read the books piling up on my shelves, I started acotar and my thoughts were "this girl is so dumb" "i cannot believe she can be this stupid" "my goodness she is annoying". I then borrowed the others from a library and was a fan of the side characters rather than feyre THEN I moved onto ToG.

I really enjoyed the first book. Loved a fun competition between assassins. I wanted her and Nox to get together rather than Chaol or Dorian. 2nd one felt off? Then the rest felt like a different series. I'll be honest, I did enjoy them but it didn't hook me the same way ACOTAR did. Cannot pinpoint why.

Feyre is annoying. Caelena is annoying

Rhys is annoying and abusive. Rowan is annoying and abusive.

Side characters make both series.

One thing that I really didn't like about Tog was how Kaltain was made to be that mean, man-hungry girl in the first... she didn't need "redemption", she was literally just a courtier set in a time where women needed to marry up. Again it was SJM's nasty side coming through like she did to Nesta/Elain in book one.

I loved Lorcan and Elide. They were probably my favourite chapters to read. Plus Manon's. I really enjoyed tower of dawn too - Yrene and Chaol were also one of my favourite couples.

This is so disjointed, sorry.

Overall yes i liked tog but I've only read it once. Don't love it enough to write fan fiction, but also there's not enough to make me angry like acotar.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #135

Who is your most loved person? Mom and Girt, just in different ways.

Have you ever been bullied? I'm really fucking grateful I wasn't.

Who makes you the happiest? Girt.

What is the most heroic thing you’ve ever done? Uhhhhh... this is bad, I don't know lmfao

What calms you down when you’re upset? What works best for me these days is Girt hugging me really tight.

Have you been betrayed in the past? How? Maybe, idr.

Who do you miss the most? My dog that passed away, Teddy.

What’s one sweet/candy you miss from your childhood? Is this item something you can still buy or has it been discontinued? BABY BOTTLE POPS those bitches were GREAT. I know I've seen them in a gas station before not too many years ago, but idk if they're still around. I just know they're nowhere near as big as when I was a kid.

Do you have a favourite celebrity chef? No.

Do you prefer diamonds or pearls? I honestly find diamonds like, incomparably prettier. Yes, pearls are pretty, but diamonds are stunning.

Is there anything coming out soon (books, albums, movies, video games) that you’re looking forward to? The entire Rammstein fanbase is aware a "Making Of" video is coming sometime soon-ish for the "Dicke Titten" mv which is wildly beloved for how fucking endearingly stupid it is but the sneakpeak clips were shared in like, I wanna say February & by now everyone is ready to corner them with pitchforks lmao who knows when that'll be here, + there's also something being made with things filmed in Mexico but I'm pretty sure the details aren't public. OH AND ALSO the remake for Silent Hill 2 should be out this year and I physically cannot fucking wait. Oh my god wait another thing, like two days ago Markiplier finally namedropped the legit movie he's been working on (Iron Lung, based off a super fuckin cool indie horror game) so that's super exciting, I think I remember him saying it should be out by maybe like the end of the year.

How do you go about finding books/movies/music to read/watch/listen to? Uh... I don't really search for new books, I'm just sticking with WoF right now, I'll only be interested in a movie that I just like happen to see a trailer for, music is mostly YouTube recommendations...

What’s a band/musician you were really into for a while but who you don’t care about or hardly listen to anymore? "Don't care about" doesn't really fit this, but I think the closest to this general description is Metallica. I got into them right after Ozzy, and for most of my life since then I considered them my second-favorite band, and I still love A LOT of their music, but I just barely listen anymore; I haven't listened to any of their new album (I do plan to, I just haven't yet), and I didn't really explore their last one much either. The last one I cared much about was Death Magnetic, and that released in... holy motherfucking shit 2008 are you KIDDING NO GODDAMN WAY

What is something someone recommended to you that you disliked/hated? Ummmm I know Girt's shown me songs I wasn't into, but I don't think anything I had that strong a reaction to.

Do you find it difficult to keep up with online friendships? Generally, no; they're easier for me.

Has there ever been a person you regret ever being friends with? Totally, 100% honest, Sara. We tried friendship so many times since we were around 8 and 10 years old, and it never ended well. We just don't mix.

Do you think you have a good understanding on love? Yes.

What do you want to do on your honeymoon? I wanna go to Alaska but I know Girt doesn't lol, he HATES the cold. Props for ultimately being like "yeah we can" I'm guessing because of how exciting the idea is to me, but a honeymoon destination should be a mutual agreement so I'm not dragging him there. I'm thinking maybe Italy, going to Venice would especially be a fucking dream, plus Rome is in the country too.

What do you think of your parent(s)? I am fully convinced I have the best mother in the world. She's absolutely not perfect, but she is a legend of a mom. My dad always could've been a better father, and I think I'm always going to feel some hurt over how he left my family, but he tries.

If your best friend confessed that they can see the future, you would…? I would be extremely fucking concerned and try very very hard to get him to get in touch with a psychiatrist, but seeing as I can't even get this man to agree to going for a yearly physical THAT HIS INSURANCE FULLY COVERS, I am VERY doubtful he'd go for mental health, and if that was the case, I'd turn to his mom and sister.

What’s your least favorite pizza topping? Mushrooms.

What’s your dream pet? The absolute top of the list is probably a high-expression sunset morph ball python, but they are ABSURDLY expensive, like that is absolutely never happening unless they become much more common. More obtainable is a Grammastola pulchra/Brazilian Black tarantula, as well as an Ephebopus murinus/skeleton leg tarantula, I adore both of those. Also one that will very likely never happen because of their rarity in the hobby (and price tag) is a Sonoran coachwhip, famous for their ability to be a gorgeous pink, but I'm very particular in wanting a black fade on it, lol. Odds are very high that you have probably seen this exact snake before, a lot of people unfamiliar with snakes immediately assume it's fake so they've done their rounds online. Fun fact the potential of seeing this exact snake in the wild is a major reason I want to visit Arizona, haha.

Most unattractive male name, in your opinion? To be totally honest there are a lot of male names I really don't like, like Edwin/Erwin/Edward (apparently I just have a vendetta against names that sound like this lmao), Bob, and even Donald, which no, he doesn't know & I don't plan on telling him lmfao this poor guy I hate his real name AND his nickname help

Is your pet dog male or female? She's a female.

Have you or would you try shark meat? No to both.

Do you know anyone that’s pescatarian? Not personally, but a WoW streamer/content creator I sometimes watch is, she's the only person I know of.

Do you think the government has a cure for cancer, but is hiding it from public? At the BARE minimum, they refuse to delve into potential solutions. Cancer and keeping it at bay RAKES in money. I mean honestly, throughout my WHOLE life I've read articles or just heard news about how "it looks like this is capable of curing it," and what happens next? Nothing, you never hear about it ever again.

Do people normally describe you as sexy? God no. The only one who ever does is sometimes my boyfriend and I can't even believe him lmfao

Was your ex born in America? They all were unless you count Juan, who I dated less than a day. He's from Mexico and is now back there.

Has your best friend ever made you cry? He's never meant to, but yes.

Do you still talk to the person you liked six months ago? Yeah, we're still dating.

Has anyone ever talked you into doing something you didn’t want to do? Yes.

Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? Yes.

Be honest, does the person you like actually deserve you? Or are they actually not worthy of your affections? I don't deserve him, is more like it.

List 5 things that have been on your mind most recently. Job situation, my physical health, wanting to move out/in together with Girt, being excited to get my tattoo finished next month, and photography stuff.

Would you ever wear black lipstick? Do you know anyone who does? In the incredibly rare occasion I have lipstick on, it's black.

If you wear eye shadow, do you put on a dark colour or a light? And if you wear mascara, what colour is it? Still black lol, but again I barely ever, ever wear makeup.

Do you combine your socks and underwear in the same drawer? Yeah, seems like most people do.

Does the last person you kissed live within walking distance? No, he lives around 30 minutes away by car.

Is there someone you could hang out with all the time, without ever getting bored of them? Yeah, Girt.

Do you know a girl named Beth? Tell me about her. I know an older woman named Beth; she's the mother of who was once my little sister's best friend, but they moved away when Nicole and Lauren were maaaybe pre-teens. She's actually dealing with the recent loss of her son because of drugs, something that's so mind-boggling to me because I remember this boy as a little, innocent kid. Addiction just doesn't discriminate.

Do you think the last person you kissed has ever lied to you? I suppose it's possible over something small, but I don't think so. We put a lot of focus on honesty in our relationship.

Have you ever been hit on by somebody way too old for you? As a teenager, yes.

First kink tried? Not sharing, crossing a boundary for me.

First time doing oral? I was somewhere around 17, maybe 16.

Do you send nudes? Do you like receiving them? No to either, I am very glad no partner I've ever had has felt the need to do that.

How much teasing do you like? Both people I've been sexual with have called me one and I treat others how I wanna be treated u kno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Are you okay with name-calling in bed? I don't know tbh, not something I have experience with but honestly for someone with my self-esteem and whatnot it's probably better that I never find out.

How often do you do unprotected sex? I am unwilling to ever do that unless we've made the confident decision that we want to have a kid.

Do you like wearing/seeing people in lingerie? I don't wear and never have worn it but bitch lingerie is ALWAYS hot what the fuck homie

Are stockings/thigh-highs a turn on? BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH

How many other people know your bra size? hunny I don't even know my bra size 😭

Do you have any friends you’d sleep with? No.

Does the person you like have any flaws? Of course he does, everybody does. They're non-deal breaker flaws I've chosen to accept.

Has anyone ever given you a ring? Why? Jason did for one of our anniversaries, I think either the second or third. It wasn't a promise or engagement ring, just a pretty ring. I remember the gem broke off pretty quickly and this man was so mad lmao, I actually kept the frame of the ring (I lost the jewel) for a very, very long time, I'm talking 'til like maybe this past year, but I eventually didn't even want it as a memory anymore.

Creation theory, evolution or the Big Bang theory? Well I mean the last two generally go hand-in-hand, but I do have to admit I'm not totally sold on the "everything exploded from condensed nothingness" theory, but I 100% believe in the evolution of life forms. I'm completely uncertain of what I think the very origin of the universe is, especially when you consider I don't believe in a god, either. I don't necessarily refute the BBT either though, I tend to trust scientists with weighty degrees that actually study this shit for a living.

What was your last serious conversation about? Well, I found out last night Girt's last remaining grandparent/his mom's mom has cancer, and she's absolutely too weak for chemotherapy, so. I was talking to him about tagging along the next time he goes to see her. I just kinda randomly thought about her (I already knew she wasn't well) and realized it'd be nice to meet her before she, y'know.

Have you ever been into a real cave? No, but this is a MAJOR adventure goal!!!! Girt recently learned that I wanna do this and his reaction was priceless, the "YOU ARE ALLOWED IN THE MOUTH OF A CAVE PEOPLE LITERALLY DIE THERE BLAH BLAH BLAH" was so immediate, too bad bitch I'm goin spelunking

Have you ever posted mean comments on YouTube? I know I did once as a kid lmfao help this child or smush her like a bug idc

Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Uh probably the first Silent Hill. It took SO much reading and lore videos to understand lmao. I really do hope they remake the OG game one day, like don't get me wrong, I ADORE it, but so much could be improved ((((DAHLIA'S VOICE ACTING)))), including with just making the story easier to understand without actually changing the story (I'd be pissed and so would the entire horror game fanbase).

Who was the last person to play with your hair? Are they cute? Girt, yeah he mad cute

Who was the last person close to you that died? Did you cry? Jason's mom, and I cried for days on end after Mom told me. She's the only human person that I've lost to death that was truly a painful loss for me, like it was personal. All other people I've known who have died I either very, very barely knew or in my maternal grandmother's case, hated.

Do you know anyone who uses medical marijuana? I mean I might, but if they do, they're sadly having to do it illegally because even medical usage is illegal in NC. Piece of shit state <33333

Do you know anyone who’s died in childbirth? Thank god I don't, this is such a heartbreaking topic to me. I was actually worrying about my friend Bethany who just gave birth while dealing with a severe case of the flu; it looks like things got a bit scary, but thank all the stars in the fucking sky she's home safe with her family now. She was so heartbroken because her daughter was brought home before she was able to come with.

Do you agree with the “they’re just being kids” excuse? This WILDLY depends, like I hope that's obvious. Kids playing make-believe and making a mess in the mud outside? That's "just being kids," but things like picking on others and such absolutely is not.

Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. My mom has cryptically commented that she "knows" a lot of things which is terrifying lmao but idk what exactly.

What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I'm not at all sure, I don't really think she's ever called me a bad name...

What’s your stance on spooning? I like it because it makes me feel safe and loved, I am That Bitch hunched over dying when Girt rolls away lmao, not in like a genuinely offended way or anything though, he sleeps way better facing away with more space.

Do you currently want a new computer? Nah, mine's fine.

How would your parents react if you got a tattoo? Neither would care; they both are aware of how much I love tattoos and plan to get dozens more. I seem to remember my dad being caught off-guard/seeming a bit nervous when I told him I got a tattoo the first time, though.

Who is your truest friend? Girt. He's honestly the greatest friend I've ever had, as far as being a genuine friend goes.

Who is your oldest friend? Sam, he's gotta be near 40 now.

How long have you known them? Uhhhh I can't remember the exact year, but I know Jason and I were still together when we "met" (we've been WoW buddies for a very long time, used to play all day somedays voice chatting together). I'm gonna guess like... *around* 2013-2014? I'd really like to meet him and his wife one day, he's always treated me like his little sister and honestly it was interactions with him that helped me get through 2016. At least I had someone to talk to/stay preoccupied with. If I'm not mistaken his wife's actually pretty big on the makeup side of TikTok now, which is great for her because she's never been able to work because of health reasons.

Where are they right now? Uh, they live in New Jersey. I'm assuming he's home because my b.net app says he's playing Call of Duty right now.

Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? Omg no, that'd be weird. Girt actually (very vaguely) knew Ashley before he knew me, but they were never friends beforehand.

Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No, and I'd prefer not to.

What has been your biggest failure in life? Not loving, respecting, and taking care of myself properly, honestly.

Do you trust yourself? lol no, I change my mind too much for that shit

Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances? Yes, I would get an abortion in any case where I didn't want a child.

What was the last bug you killed? An ant in the house. I generally try to avoid killing bugs, but ants in the house are not okay.

Do you prefer profile pictures by yourself of with someone else? You know, I think I've always used ones where it's just me.

Has a boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s parents ever gotten mad at you? Why? Probably at some point with either Jason or Sara.

What is the funniest thing a child has ever said to you. Omg idk if this is THE funniest, but it's the most recent really funny one that I remember: my 8-year-old niece Aubree literally going, "Why do you need a boyfriend at your age?!" when Girt was with me at their house, like GIRL your mother is TWO years older than me with three children & I am a grown-ass woman 😭 I love that girl to death.

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

Hi. I hope my question is okay. So, I'm sure I like women but I feel like I'm not attracted to most of queer women. I've always been attracted to traditional femininity and I'm not saying feminine queer girls don't exist, it seems like they aren't a lot. These days I've kinda tried to broaden my horizons but I don't feel romantic interest towards certain aesthetics. Am I an asshole? I feel like people can have preferences but in my very personal case it seems like I'll never find a girl...

First of all you are not an asshole for having a type. Most people have a type, as in there are certain characteristics and physical features that they are more attracted to than others. What those characteristics are can be influenced by many things but it can also be random/a coincidence.

Secondly: there are PLENTY of feminine queer women. I think the real problem here is what's called "femme invisibility" which is that femme-presenting queer women often don't "look queer" in the stereotypical sense and thus don't get registered as queer. Many of the feminine women you see and find attractive might actually be queer but you assume they are straight because of the stereotype that all queer women look masculine or butch. Though it is true that some queers do present in a way that is obviously queer (through clothing, hair styles, etc.) that doesn't mean that someone who does not present that way is any less queer but it does make them invisible.

So my recommendation would be to try not to jump to conclusions about someone's sexuality just based on how they look. There are many queer women out there who look the way that you find attractive. And it certainly doesn't make you a bad person or whatever that you are looking for a partner that looks the way you find appealling. If you have the chance to connect to the queer community offline (like in a queer café, meetings or Pride events) then take that chance and you'll see that queer women come in all kinds of looks, aesthetics and gender-presentations. When I first started connecting to the queer community I was scared I'd "look too straight" (because I was/am fairly feminine) and when I got there I realised how stupid that was. Yes, there were some people with rainbow hair but there were also people who didn't "look queer" at all; people that I would have thought to be straight if I had seen them in a different context. That really opened my eyes to my own prejudices about what it means to be or look queer. So once you have unlearned this prejudice you will also realise that there are many feminine queer women and (other obstacles of dating and especially queer dating aside) it shouldn't be that hard to find someone who likes to date you and who looks attractive to you.

Maddie

[mitsmebinch]

The Dumbest Shit in the Weirdest Places: Anxiety Edition

Exactly one person said this would be cool but I happen to like that person so here we go: Traveling With Anxiety Sucks But It's Not Impossible.

1: Don't leave in the morning. I tried that once, and spent the rest of the day unable to leave my house in my bed. Your anxiety knows how to keep you from going outside and it will. Leave after you're already outside for something else, like a doctor's visit, hanging with a friend, etc. I always leave for trips after work. That leaves me 2-3 hours of travel time on the first day, which isn't great, but at least I get to leave at all.

2: Fuel up at half tank. Some states are fucking UNPOPULATED and there aren't a lot of gas stations (Looking at you Wyoming). You don't need to be looking at your gas tank every 10 minutes because you're at 1/4 tank and you don't know when you'll see civilization again. You can also check your map to see how far away the next city is!

3: Make your first overnight in a city where you know someone. First time I traveled I stopped for the night in a city one of my siblings live in. I slept in my car as planned, but I had her a phone call away if something went wrong. Back-ups are important, shit happens.

4: Vibes can be fucked. Sometimes you need to relocate for the night because the city you stopped in isn't the safest. But, you don't want your anxiety doing that every time. My recommendation would be to find a place that most cities have and stick to them. I stop at Love's, Walmarts, and hotels. They're high traffic, but they also have plenty of people also sleeping there for the night too.

5. Masks. Covid sucks, but now that masks are socially acceptable to wear everywhere, use them. Being decked out with a mask, baseball cap, and headphones is equivalent to a bullet proof vest. You can engage with others exactly as much as you want to.

6. When you stop for dinner, stop for the night. This gives you time to eat, make your safe call (essential!), check what you need to, relax. I usually take this time to sit myself in a booth with some dinner, write some reviews for where I'd been that day (reviews are my hobby), and organize my receipts and pamphlets for my travel scrapbook. In my experience servers don't bother you so much when you're alone, so it'll be some quiet time. You can also eat in your car!

7. Do not drive at night, and do not drive in low visibility weather. Have I done both these things? Yes, obviously, I am not known for my good decisions, but there's nothing like no ability to see what might be running into the road in front of you to give you a good case of the shakes. You should only be driving if you ABSOLUTELY have to, like if you're trying to get off an unmarked impassable road in the middle of nowhere. IDK. Could happen to anYOnE.

8. The 3 pats. You're probably used to using this one at home - phone, wallet, keys. You need to do that every time you get in or out of the car. I have left my phone in 3 cities across 2 states, one of which I did not notice for 45 minutes. Do not start your car unless you have all three. Put a fucking sticky note on your windshield if you have to.

9. Not everything has to be new. You can go to a city you've never been to and just watch a movie, or go to a McDonalds. Not everything has to be outside your comfort zone.

So yeah, have fun out there kiddies. Please don't be stupid, that's my thing.

[mitsdriveswhere]

Traveling with Anxiety

Exactly one person said this would be cool but I happen to like that person so here we go: Traveling With Anxiety Sucks But It's Not Impossible.

1: Don't leave in the morning. I tried that once, and spent the rest of the day unable to leave my house in my bed. Your anxiety knows how to keep you from going outside and it will. Leave after you're already outside for something else, like a doctor's visit, hanging with a friend, etc. I always leave for trips after work. That leaves me 2-3 hours of travel time on the first day, which isn't great, but at least I get to leave at all.

2: Fuel up at half tank. Some states are fucking UNPOPULATED and there aren't a lot of gas stations (Looking at you Wyoming). You don't need to be looking at your gas tank every 10 minutes because you're at 1/4 tank and you don't know when you'll see civilization again. You can also check your map to see how far away the next city is!

3: Make your first overnight in a city where you know someone. First time I traveled I stopped for the night in a city one of my siblings live in. I slept in my car as planned, but I had her a phone call away if something went wrong. Back-ups are important, shit happens.

4: Vibes can be fucked. Sometimes you need to relocate for the night because the city you stopped in isn't the safest. But, you don't want your anxiety doing that every time. My recommendation would be to find a place that most cities have and stick to them. I stop at Love's, Walmarts, and hotels. They're high traffic, but they also have plenty of people also sleeping there for the night too.

5. Masks. Covid sucks, but now that masks are socially acceptable to wear everywhere, use them. Being decked out with a mask, baseball cap, and headphones is equivalent to a bullet proof vest. You can engage with others exactly as much as you want to.

6. When you stop for dinner, stop for the night. This gives you time to eat, make your safe call (essential!), check what you need to, relax. I usually take this time to sit myself in a booth with some dinner, write some reviews for where I'd been that day (reviews are my hobby), and organize my receipts and pamphlets for my travel scrapbook. In my experience servers don't bother you so much when you're alone, so it'll be some quiet time. You can also eat in your car!

7. Do not drive at night, and do not drive in low visibility weather. Have I done both these things? Yes, obviously, I am not known for my good decisions, but there's nothing like no ability to see what might be running into the road in front of you to give you a good case of the shakes. You should only be driving if you ABSOLUTELY have to, like if you're trying to get off an unmarked impassable road in the middle of nowhere. IDK. Could happen to anYOnE.

8. The 3 pats. You're probably used to using this one at home - phone, wallet, keys. You need to do that every time you get in or out of the car. I have left my phone in 3 cities across 2 states, one of which I did not notice for 45 minutes. Do not start your car unless you have all three. Put a fucking sticky note on your windshield if you have to.

9. Not everything has to be new. You can go to a city you've never been to and just watch a movie, or go to a McDonalds. Not everything has to be outside your comfort zone.

So yeah, have fun out there kiddies. Please don't be stupid, that's my thing.

[a-blue-secret]

GENRES: elf!beomgyu, fairy!taehyun, magic au, fluff, lots and lots of fluff, an ittle wittle bit of angst, ambiguous/open ending

PAIRING: taegyu

WARNINGS: this is not edited in the slightest so beware of rambling

WORD COUNT: a whopping 3.2k+ I'm sorry

AN: A little bit of fluff for Valentine's Day! And yes! I managed to get this out before Valentine's Day ended in Korea! Whoo!! I recommend listening to Smile Flower by Seventeen, especially towards the end. I hope you enjoy :) -on ao3 here-

SUMMARY: Just a bunch of scenarios showcasing how Beomgyu taught Taehyun to love.

Taehyun loved Beomgyu. There was no doubt about it. Even he himself knew it, and readily embraced that fact.

Taehyun had loved people before. He loved his mother, and his father, and even his pet ladybug who could sometimes be a little grumpy and snappy. He knew it was love, because he smiled and laughed with them, and grew a warm feeling in his tummy when they were happy. He knew love.

But Beomgyu made him feel… different. He knew it was love; he recognised the warm happiness he received around him. But this love was different. It was a giddy feeling, and Taehyun became hopelessly flustered around him. This love was different, because it felt more playful and intimate than the love he shared with his family.

Taehyun thought he knew love well enough, until Beomgyu came along, and taught him so much more.

.・。.・゜♡・

Beomgyu taught him to love in a carefree, courageous way.

"Beomgyu!" Taehyun said in a panicked whisper. "You shouldn't be here!"

"Shh! I wanted to see you, can't I do that?" Beomgyu said, pouting as he rested his head on the leaf Taehyun was sitting on. The fairy had been resting on the leaf, relatively obscured from view by the long grass stems, so they were hidden from other fairies. Still, Taehyun didn't want to take any chances.

"Go! What if someone sees you?" Taehyun said, trying to push Beomgyu away. Beomgyu refused to be pushed, instead struggling up to sit next to Taehyun. He nudged Taehyun with his shoulder.

"I'll do anything for you," he said.

"Even get caught in fae territory?"

"No boundary will ever hold back my love for you, Taehyun," Beomgyu said seriously. Taehyun flushed, and fiddled with his fingers.

"I just don't want them to find you," Taehyun spoke worriedly. "Elves aren't allowed anywhere near here, and you know what they do to elves they find in fae territory. I don't want that happening to you just because you missed me."

"Please," Beomgyu smiled, bopping Taehyun's nose. "I think that's an incredibly valid reason. And besides, I'd do anything for you. Anything at all."

Taehyun had pondered over Beomgyu's words that night, thinking about what he'd said. Loving Beomgyu was dangerous, he and the elf both knew it, but it seemed that Beomgyu was willing to do anything for Taehyun. That day, Taehyun learned another thing about love.

.・。.・゜♡・

Beomgyu taught Taehyun to love in a messy, silly way.

Someone tentatively knocked on Taehyun's door, and he immediately threw a cushion at it. "Go away!" he yelled.

"Taehyuuunnn," the voice said in a whiny, sad tone. "You promised you'd play with me after you finished your homework. Momma said you're done, so you're free to play now!"

"I don't want to play with you!" Taehyun said in frustration, pulling open his door to see his younger sister looking up at him, wings drooping sadly. He sighed. "I don't want to play, okay? The games you play are too childish and silly."

His younger sister pouted. "Hmph. You used to play with me all the time, but now you don't want to anymore. It's like you don't care anymore."

"I do care," Taehyun said exasperatedly,"but it's too childish to play games like hide and seek now. I don't want to."

"Hmph! Whenever I ask you to play, you always say that! You never want to play with me!" With that, she stomped off. Taehyun sighed, closing his door.

That evening, when he met up with Beomgyu, he told him all about how annoying his sister had been. The elf listened to him carefully. When Taehyun finished speaking, Beomgyu spoke up. "Hey, wanna play catch?"

He was slightly confused at the change of subject, but readily agreed. "Sure." He got up, picking up a dewdrop from one of the flower petals. "Be careful though, you don't wanna get caught!"

The two of them played games that Taehyun hadn't played in ages. They spent hours and hours playing games. They played catch with the dewdrop, played chase around the dandelions, Grandma's Footsteps by the daffodil bulb, and then played hide-and-seek in the dark, both of them giggling when the other accidentally tripped over their own feet.

"Beomgyu? Beomgyu?" Taehyun called out. There was complete silence. He glanced around. One of the rules was that he wasn't allowed to fly, since it would be unfair for the elf, but Beomgyu couldn't see him, right? It wouldn't matter if he flew, just for a few seconds…

He'd hovered just a few centimeters above the ground when hands suddenly grasped his ankles, preventing him from going higher.

"Taehyunnie! No cheating!"

Taehyun squeaked and suddenly dropped to the ground, Beomgyu's arms still around his legs. Beomgyu blinked, before laughing.

"Hey! I could have died!" Taehyun huffed jokingly.

"That yell! Wah, I didn't think anyone could make such a high-pitched shriek!"

"It's not funny! You surprised me!" Taehyun reached out and tickled Beomgyu's sides, making the elf laugh even more. Then suddenly, Beomgyu let out a squeak- even higher than the one Taehyun had made. They both stared wide-eyed at each other. Then Taehyun began to tickle Beomgyu even more, in fits of laughter himself.

"Oh my god, hyung! What was that??"

"I- Taehyun! Stop! It- it tickles! Ah!!"

Eventually, Beomgyu couldn't breathe from laughing so much, so they lay down looking up at the night sky, still giggling slightly. Their giggles died down, and they stared silently up at the dark canvas above them, studded with small silver stars.

"That was fun, wasn't it?" Beomgyu smiled, turning to look at Taehyun.

"Yeah," Taehyun said. "It's been ages since I've played those sorts of games."

"I remember when I was younger I used to pester my elder brother to play them with me," Beomgyu said. "He never wanted to. But it's okay." He nudged Taehyun's shoulder. "Now I can pester you to play with me, can't I?"

"You'll never pester me into playing them," Taehyun replied, turning to face Beomgyu. "I'll play them willingly."

Beomgyu gave a soft smile to the fairy. He pecked his nose, before regretfully standing up. "I'm going to have to go now," he said. Taehyun pouted, but stood up too.

"See you tomorrow?" he asked the elf hopefully.

"See you tomorrow," Beomgyu smiled, giving him a kiss. "Goodbye, my fairy."

The next day, Taehyun spotted his sister as she walked past his door. He remembered how harshly he'd turned her away yesterday, and winced in regret.

"Wait," he called out. "I have some free time right now. Do you… do you maybe want to play?"

She turned around, and her eyes lit up. "Really?"

He laughed at how adorable she looked. "Yeah, really."

"Yay!!” She clapped her hands delightedly, before reaching out and dragging Taehyun outside. "Can we play catch???"

"Of course! Hey, want me to teach you how to make dewdrop balls?"

.・。.・゜♡・

Beomgyu taught him that being in love wasn't complete without occasionally clashing with the other.

"What are you doing here?" Beomgyu hissed, pushing Taehyun's head down so it was out of sight. Taehyun immediately bobbed up again, blond curls bouncing on his forehead. He stared up at the elf, confused.

"What, so it's fine for you to see me in fae territory, but I'm not allowed to visit you in elven land?" he said.

"Well, it's just…" A few more elves walked past, and Beomgyu pushed Taehyun down again. Once they were out of sight, Taehyun peeked up.

"Just what?" he asked.

"Elven territory is more dangerous," Beomgyu said in a low whisper. "You know what they can do to you."

Taehyun tilted his head thoughtfully. "Hmm… well, what they can do to me is no less harsh than what they could have done to you. The dangers are just the same." He beamed up at Beomgyu. "But even so, I wanted to see you!"

Beomgyu didn't smile back, and frowned. "That's not a good enough reason. I don't want you potentially getting hurt just because you wanted to see me."

Taehyun recognised those words as being extremely similar to his own from a few weeks back. "What, so you're allowed to visit me when you miss me, but I'm not?"

Beomgyu sighed exasperatedly. "Love, that's not it, it's just that–”

"No, that's exactly it," Taehyun said, hurt. "You don't think I'm capable of looking after myself, do you? For your information, I am perfectly capable. No– don't you touch me." When Beomgyu tried to reach out to the fairy, Taehyun moved back. Beomgyu's outstretched hand curled into a ball, before hanging by his side.

"Taehyun, please, stop overreacting. I'm just worried about you, okay? You can get hurt."

"Overreacting?" Taehyun repeated. "I'm not overreacting."

Beomgyu sighed frustratedly. "Taehyun, come on, think clearly here! You're in elven land, and you're just a fairy. Do you seriously think that's safe?"

"So you think I'm weak?"

"No,Taehyun, just stop being ridiculous–"

"Oh, I see. I see what's going on. It's clear you think I'm weak and need protecting, because I'm a fairy. Well that's just a stupid stereotype! I thought you of all people would know not to believe stereotypes, Beomgyu," Taehyun said, tears in his eyes. "You of all people! You're in love with a fairy, for goodness' sake, and that goes against all stereotypes that fairies and elves should be enemies."

"Well who says I'm in love with you?"

At that, Taehyun paused, shocked. Beomgyu's eyes widened as he realised what he'd just said.

"No wait, love, I didn't mean it–”

Taehyun wiped his eyes angrily. "No, it's fine, 'love'. I get it. You don't want me pestering you. If you don't want me around, I'll go. I'm not going to come back."

Before he could call out, Taehyun had already flown back down, through the grass roots and out of sight. Beomgyu closed his mouth, swallowing. He felt the guilt close in on his throat, and his eyes burned with tears. He hadn't meant to say that at all. Even now that he thought about it, he was shocked with himself for even managing to say something so horrible. God, Taehyun must hate him now. Beomgyu's eyes blurred with tears, and sat forlornly down on the leaf.

"I'm sorry, Taehyunnie," he whispered.

.・。.・゜♡・

However, Beomgyu also taught him love meant forgiveness, because no one was perfect, and love was about navigating those imperfections together.

It had been five days. Five days since Taehyun had visited Beomgyu in elven land, only to be pushed away. He couldn't even think about the day, because it made his heart hurt too much. Taehyun's eyes filled with tears, and he furiously wiped them with the back of his hand. No. He shouldn't cry. Beomgyu had made it clear he thought Taehyun to be weak, and that he didn't love him at all. He shouldn't cry over someone who didn't love him.

Despite his words, this was exactly what Taehyun did. He moped in his room for five days, refusing to leave the cottage. Though he didn't want to admit it, Taehyun was heartbroken. It may have only been a short, sudden sentence said in the heat of the moment, but it still hurt that Beomgyu could even think such a sentence. He tried to blink away the tears which had for some reason welled up yet again. He vigorously wiped them away, eyes bright with anger. If Beomgyu ever came to apologise, he wasn't going to accept. He wasn't going to forgive him. No. Not at all. Taehyun glanced out the window. That is, he wasn't going to forgive the elf… if he ever came to apologise at all.

.♡.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Taehyun's mum asked, nudging him.

"Mmm," Taehyun answered absent-mindedly, staring blankly out the window. When his mother still continued to look at him, he turned to face her. "I'm okay, Mum." He gave a weak smile. "Seriously."

"If you say so," she responded skeptically, watching him carefully as Taehyun resumed staring out of the window.

Once she had left the room, Taehyun gave a sigh, resting his cheek on his hand. He'd been watching their garden, hoping that maybe Beomgyu would turn up. Despite the bold words he'd said to the elf the last time he'd seen him, it seemed that he did need and depend on the elder. He missed Beomgyu. Missed those stolen little moments they had in the evenings, missed seeing Beomgyu's face randomly peep up from behind a leaf, and jokingly pushing him away. Goddammit, he even missed the annoying jokes he told.

Taehyun scanned the empty greenery again, before slumping and reluctantly moving away from the window. He understood why Beomgyu wouldn't come to him. If he were in the elf's place, he'd be too proud and annoyed to admit his faults. But a part of him hoped that Beomgyu wouldn't be like that.

"Taehyun, darling?"

At the nickname, Taehyun perked up, before he realised it was his mother, hovering by his door.

"A dragonfly dropped a letter for you by our door. It said it was strictly confidential, so I didn't look at it." Taehyun's eyes brightened hope. Could it be Beomgyu? He thanked his mother, and waited until she left before opening it. His lips twitched into a smile as he spotted the handwriting, but he quickly smothered it.

'My lovely Taehyunnie, I'm sorry it took so long for me to reach out. I just want to say that at sundown, I'll be by the maple tree, waiting for you. If you don't come, I understand, but just in case you don't hate me even a little, please, meet me there. I love you.'

Taehyun frowned, putting the letter down. No. He wouldn't go. Beomgyu had hurt him too much. He wasn't going to go. Nope.

.♡.

Taehyun went. No matter how many times he told himself he didn't care, deep down, he still loved Beomgyu a lot.

Coming up to the maple tree, his face creased into a frown when he saw that no one else was there. Had Beomgyu come already? Had he been fooling him? Maybe the elf wasn't coming at all.

Then, he heard the faint sound of guitar strings being played.

"Look up," a voice called, and Taehyun looked up, face melting in wonder. Beomgyu was floating down on a maple leaf, held at the corners by fireflies. He was holding the guitar he'd made himself, a nervous smile on his face. As soon as he opened his mouth, Taehyun knew what was going on. He couldn't help a smile spread across his own face, as his hands came up to cover his mouth. It was horribly cliche, romantic and such a Beomgyu-like gesture, that he couldn't help but love it.

"I can smile because we're together, I can cry 'cause it's you. So what can't I do?" Beomgyu landed gently next to Taehyun. "Don't say it's the end, forever, because I'll stay by your side." He took Taehyun's hands into his, and Taehyun realised with a start that Beomgyu was trembling. His eyes were bright with tears. "Whatever happens, like always, can we be together?"

Taehyun's own eyes filled with tears and he nodded his head vigorously. "I love you," he whispered, holding Beomgyu's hands tighter. "I love you, so much." Beomgyu bit his lip, the tears finally spilling out of his eyes. "I- I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you away like that. I wasn't thinking. You were just doing what I always do, and I didn't think. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean a single word."

"It's okay," Taehyun said, pulling Beomgyu into a hug. "I understand how you want to protect me. It's what I feel when you sneak over here. I'm sorry I overreacted like that."

"No, no, you didn't overreact," Beomgyu quickly said, stroking Taehyun's hair. "It was me. I shouldn't have been so hypocritical, or try and push you away when you just wanted to see me. I'm so sorry, Taehyunnie." He pulled back, and took Taehyun's hands in his own. "I was being too overprotective over you," he whispered. "And I kept making you seem weaker than you were, when in fact you are the strongest person I know. I love you, so so much. Will you forgive me?" His eyes searched Taehyun's, hopeful and sad at the same time.

"Yes, I do," he said through tears, hugging Beomgyu again. "It's okay, I forgive you."

"Oh, thank goodness." Beomgyu buried his face into Taehyun's shoulder. "If you didn't, I was going to abandon all my pride and just beg at your feet, right here."

Taehyun laughed, and gave Beomgyu a short, sweet kiss.

"You don't need to ever do that," he said, smiling. "I love you too much to stay mad at you forever." He looked up at Beomgyu. "Could you sing me the rest of the song?"

Beomgyu smiled, and picked up his guitar. "Don't say it's the end, forever what happens, just like always, our smile flowers will bloom." He pressed a long, loving kiss onto Taehyun's lips, smiling. "Whenever, wherever, even if we’re not together, just like always, our smile flowers bloom."

"I’ll be the spring to your smile," Taehyun finished, laughing when Beomgyu left light, ticklish kisses along his neck and collarbone.

"I love you, okay?" Beomgyu said earnestly. "So much. No matter what happens, that will never change."

Taehyun buried his head into Beomgyu's shoulder, unable to stop smiling. "So do I," he murmured. "I love you more than anything. Forever."

.・。.・゜♡・

All these things we're infinitely important: there was no doubt about it. But, perhaps the most important thing Beomgyu taught Taehyun was that love was in the little things. The small, stolen moments they shared were the most important things in the world for them.

Taehyun rested his head on Beomgyu's shoulder as their feet dangled off a branch of the maple tree. The sun was low, and the light was rapidly fading. The fireflies danced playfully around them, providing their own golden lights against the warm sunset. Neither the elf nor the fairy said a word, content with each other's presence alone.

When Taehyun thought about it, it was funny how they'd managed to fall in love. A fairy and an elf, destined to be enemies until the end of time, managed to defy all odds and become united. Taehyun smiled. It wasn't even meant to be possible. And yet, here they were, very much in love with each other despite it being something that should have been impossible.

Taehyun gazed up at Beomgyu's side profile in adoration. The elf had his eyes closed, head tilted backwards, a golden glow settling over his features from the setting sun. Beomgyu was beautiful. It made Taehyun a little sad that he couldn't show the world how much he loved the elf, but it also made him appreciate these small moments even more. Every minute they spent together felt even more special. Beomgyu opened his eyes and caught Taehyun staring, smiling and winking at the fairy. Taehyun blushed, burying his face into the other's shoulder. Beomgyu hummed a wordless tune, arm around Taehyun's waist as they rocked side to side in time with the gentle wind.

One day, Taehyun said to himself. One day, we'll be able to show our love to the world. But until then, I'll love you through these small moments.

-fin.

[retphienix]

It's been 6 years :)

On March 30th, 2015 I decided I wanted a gaming side blog. (so we're early, but shush, it's the month for me)

I didn't know what I'd use it for exactly, but I had ideas- something I always have even if most of them only get as far as daydreamin' or writing out before closing them :P

For proof on the lack of direction the blog initially had- the March 30th date is the anniversary of my first post, an in-depth and lengthy review of Dragon Warrior Monsters for the GBC.

If you know the blog then you know "Extremely long and in-depth reviews" aren't the norm around here. As a matter of fact, that first post is the ONLY one I've done!

The closest I've come to ever repeating that would be the (word of the day) Directionless video I put out on Hades to get a grip on the concept of making videos, but that wasn't nearly as much of a 'review' as that first post is.

Tangent, definitely planning on trying my hand at videos some more for the foreseeable future. Probably not gonna use the tagline Full Impressions that I tossed as a whim for the Hades video but yeah- I'm excited to try my hand at a few videos :) tangent over.

It didn't take me long to come up with what I'd like to do for the blog though :)

A few months later I liveblogged a challenge run of FFT where I used only Ramza- a solo run. - Which maybe only happened because I tried a nuzlocke run a year prior on my main account-

(Nuzlocke | FFT challenge run)

Thanks to that haphazard liveblog experiment I started to realize a couple things which became the primary motivators behind this blog.

1) I LOVE sharing experiences. No brainer, I'm sure, but being able to share my experiences, and compare them with others' experiences, and just that mutual sharing is uplifting and feels good to do.

2) Liveblogging is an EXCEPTIONAL motivator to buckle down and play all those games I said I'd play (cue everyone laughing because I'm still way behind and have an immeasurable backlog).

But I mean that, on both respects. I have plenty of motivators toward the blog today, but if I were to be concise it's pretty much "It's easier to beat games if I liveblog them- otherwise I get distracted and play other games" and "I love sharing experiences and thoughts with people about my favorite thing- games."

Since 2015 I've tackled around 70 games as full playthroughs, and an untold ton as one offs or just to ramble about for a bit.

I've had a lot of highlights over the years, and I don't talk much about it as an overall experience so I thought for the anniversary I'd try to do just that. Not everything- I can't say I have photographic memory that would bring all of it up without prompting after all :P But whatever comes to mind as I browse some of my old stuff- as well as some thoughts on what I'd like to see in the future.

It's gonna be a bit self-centric I assume as I type this preamble to it, so let me say outright that this blog wouldn't be half of what it is without all the people who've given it the time of day over the years.

From recommending games they love or appreciate, to comparing thoughts, to offering kind words for analysis I've done over the years, to pointing out when I'm dumb and misread a situation :P- to, yes, even the people who decided "Fuck this guy's ramble" and deleted my captions before reblogging my gifs way back during Hamtaro (Of COURSE I remember that! It's amusing lol).

This is better because of others, because of the interactions and the people I've gotten the chance to chat with or befriend. It's just a liveblog more or less, my own little bit of fun I toss out for myself if for anyone- so seeing others enjoy this or that from the work I put into sharing my experiences or thoughts is always a joy in itself :)

Anyway, onto selfishly rambling about some tidbits of the past :)

Also sorry but no, opted to not shove a ton of photos in, it does have a handful of links to old posts though :P

This'll be disorganized as heck as I'll add to it over time before I feel it's worth posting (or the tumblr post editor becomes a hassle and more or less forces me to).

First~

FFT Solo Ramza Challenge: Considering it was roughly the first thing this blog has done, it's also something that's stuck in my head a lot more clearly than most of the other stuff I've done to be honest lol.

In truth, this is partially because FFT is my favorite game, bar none. But it's also because the whole experience was pretty new to me. Prior to it I had really only done one self-imposed-challenge that wasn't requested by the game in some manner and that was a nuzlocke run of Blue version.

So adding a challenge to my favorite game was a fantastic experience!

Notes I just wanted to say today about that run: If anyone enjoys FFT I honestly recommend giving it a shot for the unique story it lends itself to. I do recommend skipping the rules until after the second battle but that's up to YOU to decide.

My first post on the subject is me complaining about spending 4 hours grinding out the second fight and, despite hyperbole being my natural state, that was NOT hyperbole.

It DID take 60~ restarts to beat. It DID take 4 hours. The reason is that that 2nd battle is RNG as HECK, you HAVE to have Delita do some meaningful actions, you HAVE to have the enemies miss and make poor plays, you damn near HAVE to crit a few instances to save yourself from taking too much damage.

It's a numbers game to the extreme, so I wouldn't fault anyone for 'cheating' and skipping the 2nd fight for the ruleset lol.

The memory that stands out the most for that run is actually isolated in a post in which Ramza (Purrick in this run) talks like a total badass as just ONE DUDE running into a room full of enemies. I just think on that as a great encapsulated view of what it was like. The run started off face grindingly difficult, but because FFT is a game that offers so much freedom to the player it was extremely easy to 'break' the game into making Purrick overpowered as hell.

That's something I love about some tactical RPGs, I love having the ability to play smart so that I can play stupid later on, and breaking the game into making him one shot god is certainly a good payoff for playing smart early on :P

RetQuick: I miss RetQuick, it was primarily a short experiment I did in 2015 where I'd play a game for a short span of time (REALLY short, like 10-20 minutes) and record that for the purpose of making gifs and saying a short piece on what I thought.

It's one of those formats where the purpose was pretty shallow- but had a reason. I wanted to try making some gifs with some tools that existed online, so I made an excuse to do just that.

I also wanted to play a TON of games, usually through emulation on my sister's PSP, and this let me do that.

These two minor goals came together and so I spent a while making RetQuicks which were honestly more fun to make than they had any right to be. I mean the gifs were tedious but the playing? The thought sharing? The end product ocassionally having more appeal than just a photoset? It was fun.

I'm thinking whenever I have trouble picking a game for the blog I'll revisit the format... sorta.

I already reused it for a short stint to show clips I had no plan on expanding into a playthrough, but that died as well as it was too similar to Tidbits posts (another tag I no longer really use).

My thought is to rebrand retquick as something of a tryout for what game comes next. Play a handful of my backlog games for an hour or so each and say some thoughts before saying which one I'll continue as the main game for that period of time.

Old Tag Stuff: One of those things that only sticks to me since I made the decisions but it's always funny for me to look back on my old posts because I was apprehensive as hell toward making my posts visible. The reason my early playthroughs on the My-Tags page are variants of Ret instead of just "The name of the game so people can find this post" is because I felt like a liveblog would just spam the tag to hell-

Something I don't remotely feel bad for doing anymore.

So I avoided getting any sort of spotlight for quite a while on the blog for little reason.

Why Retphienix?: This is just a dumb thought I wanted to share and I'm sure I've said before.

It stands for retro!

Yeah!

Ain't that dumb and also not a real shorthand? lol

I think I have some sort of deer in headlights anxiety towards naming things, I mean do you think I think Full Impressions is a good summation for a video? I don't. But perhaps that's overshadowed by the other inexperiences and anxiety driven decisions that had- doesn't matter.

Retphienix is Retphienix because I sat there in 2015 and thought "Well... what do I name an alt account?"

My main is Redphienix, which yes, is ALSO a terrible name AND is misspelled. But it's that because of sentimental reasons. As a kid I misspelled Redphoenix when making my gamertag (I knew how to spell Phoenix back then as well, I was too excited about xbox live and misspelled it) and it's become something of a sentimental misspelling.

So I wanted to make a mix on that for my game blog, but I had no idea what. In the end I thought "RetroPhienix? I don't know. Retphienix is closer to Redphienix. I'll do that" and so it was done.

And just like how Redphienix is both bad and misspelled but exists because of sentimental reasons- Retphienix has acquired the same 'flavor' in my eye lol.

Aspirations for the blog: I have no immediate ramp up plans or road map or whatever, and in truth I'll be happy if the blog stays just as it is forever- up until tumblr ends- I cry over lost posts- and I reopen it on another platform.

But I do have blurry half-considered daydreams that I'd like to see happen for the blog through some hard work or shifts on my part.

One is something I'm already doing kinda, hence my embarrassing means of bringing it up a lot lately. Videos- I want those. I wanna make some looks back on series people don't talk about that I enjoy, I want to make videos sharing my thoughts on games I beat for the blog (like what full impressions kinda was, but I don't think they'll have a unified name from here on out). Maybe retrospectives, but mostly when I think of making a video tied to retphienix or me in general it's me looking at a game that said something to me, and saying it louder with my own interpretations on it.

You know the kind, videos where they talk about a video game but not the whole thing- just a singular message they really heard loud and clear from it intentionally or not. I dig those and I know I end a lot of games having plenty to say that could be directed into such a format.

We'll see.

And I'm along for the ride on that one as well- currently I'm keeping my eyes on whatever is directly next, which happens to be "I plan on playing Omori, if it clicks as something to talk about I would like to take a shot at that in a video too!"

The other is that I'd like to build a small community. Wouldn't know the first thing on doing that in a modern sense, but just a little online friend group to chat with and play games together. Something that could open up multiplayer and coop experiences being better shared on the blog and would just in general expand my gaming to what it used to be back on the 360 when I had a large group to play with.

Since the 360 era ended I've pretty much closed off- stopped playing competitive games due to lack of interest- and slowed down to playing all games either solo, with randoms (and no mic usually), or with my cousin. It's a rare instance when I play with some good people like @gamesception or another friend of mine, John.

When I diverted from playing competitive games nonstop toward other genres I didn't intend to also cut out all my online gaming buds, it just kinda happened, and I never really put any effort into rectifying that.

So more or less I'd like to one day sit down and work on a discord server, and then buck up and put the leg work in to make some gamin' buds again, but that's such a vague concept anymore.

Sounds all sad and what not but it's more ambivalent, I made decisions that

changed how gaming worked for me after the 360 and this is just where it landed for better and worse- I'd just like to see if I can make it a little better :P

General things I think when I think retphienix: Honestly? I think of how much fun I've had over the years and how thankful I am to have had an outlet that encouraged me to explore more of the medium.

I REALLY love games. I went to college for games, I've written LEAGUES about games, I've played countless games, my childhood was games, my adult life is games- games games games yada yada yada.

So when I think of retphienix I think of how without it I probably wouldn't have explored a lot of the corners of gaming that I have.

I genuinely, and I mean this, might not have sat down and beaten FF7 for myself and would have considered the amount I played as a kid to be enough.

I might not have played Chrono Trigger yet, and I KNOW I wouldn't have played Chrono Cross, and I'm happy as hell to have played both of those. CT was a mind blowing moment for me that showed me just how good an RPG can be, and CC gave me miles to think of in terms of innovating an RPG and how beholden to the narrative a sequel should be (I don't feel CC should have been chrono at all lol).

I DEFINITELY wouldn't have given New Vegas another chance. And I know I'm a sourpuss on NV, I've been that way since I maxed my achievements on the 360 for it, but replaying it really did reveal to me how exceedingly negative I was being.

My memories had become "It's brown and a boring location >:(" and "The factions all suck and it doesn't do anything with the idea of bad factions >:(" and became "It's... a little brown guys, not a big fan of the area" and "They didn't do enough with exploring the gray factions" while adding "Wait. This is pretty damn fun. And 90% of the additions are stellar. And I forgot about Dead Money, my favorite dlc in any game ever with a story that tears at my heart every time I think of it, NV good actually?"

Faxanadu would have remained a cool game I saw on SSFF and not a game I played to the end and fell in love with the aesthetic feel it has!

Also that's a game I cheated like crazy on lol, I would do it again! Save state scumming games meant to be rudely difficult is only fair :P

I probably would have never sat down to play through Windwaker which was such a positive and uplifting experience that I now get the most relaxed and warm feeling in my heart when I see those blue waves.

There's so many experiences I would have left on the table in favor of like... putting more hours into a live service title or something.

Maybe, and no offense to my cousin or anyone else playing it, but maybe I'd be no-lifing World of Warcraft nonstop just stagnating my interest toward the skinner box mechanics of an MMO?

Some offense, actually but lightheartedly lol.

But beyond the entire games I've played for the blog, when I think retphienix I picture all the time making gifs, all those games I played on the PSP for short stints, buying a retron 5 to add to what I could explore and being stoked when they shipped a freebie box of old controllers to go with it, getting angry at the retron for being a Piece Of Shit lol, crying at the end of damn near every game with an emotional story because I'm a big emotional mess of a person who finds investing and crying at a story way too easy thanks to empathy pulls, oh!-

Getting excited whenever I found that I had a "*controversial*" opinion that no one would care about lol. Like the one that comes to mind is that I thoroughly believe that Dragon Ball Z II: Gekishin Freeza!! for the NES is WAY better than the fandom recognized and appreciated sequel/remake Dragon Ball Z: Legend of the Super Saiyan!

How many people do you hear talking about either game, let alone saying the NES game that is roughly half of the SNES remake is the better one :P But I stand by that! The SNES one is a remake of DBZ1 and 2 for the NES but it loses all the charm and some of the fun of the NES ones by being a lackluster SNES game!

lol

I admitted wholeheartedly that this post would be a lit-

little directionless (gotta love the new tumblr poster making me break sentences like that), but to sum things up.

It's been 6 years. It's been an untold amount of work to be honest- liveblogging a game, at least for me, hasn't been the easiest thing. It's a lot of thinking out my thoughts (heh), it's a lot of learning tools to make the capturing process possible, it's a lot of experimenting, it's a lot of writing and editing, and, well, sometimes it's just tough.

I mean I went to school for coding, not video editing, not writing, not image processing, not this or that- but this hobby has introduced a lot of things even if only at a VERY base level (I admit fully to using online alternatives to make gifs for instance).

I learned a lot about, well, a lot of things in order to use this blog to learn more about games- and all that work has become part of why I've loved all 6 years of this blog.

6 years of gaming, work, and you all- and it's been worth the investment :) Here's to many more and all of you whether you stumble upon this post or not- literally anyone who's interacted in these 6 years, thank you, and anyone who hasn't I offer you well wishes as well.

<3