#yes you cherish that hoodie girl XD

[bella-studio]

Don't wanna lose

/Listen, this is my first ROTTMNT fan fiction. And I warn you that in the original I wrote it in Russian(because I am from Russia), so there may be a poor translation. Please don't scold me xd. And... My text typography is very different from how many others do it. So... I hope this is not a problem, and you will understand/

“Donnie had a nightmare, but to whom would he go for help, if not his brothers?”

   The body hurts unbearably. As if all the bones were crushed into small pieces, as if they were well ground in a blender. I barely rise to my elbows and look around. Blood. A lot of blood. My brothers! They are also in the blood. Do not move. No signs of breathing. They have terrible wounds, and Mikey... Oh no, my poor little brother, he got the most. Looking at his broken shell is worse than the pain that I feel from broken bones now. I try to get up, but I can’t. My tech-bo is broken in half, and the shell sparkles from damaged parts. I hear menacing breath behind me. I turn my head. Shredder. He stands in front of me and looks into my eyes with a predatory gaze. At any second, he could attack me, but he was waiting for something. I hear someone is running. April! She is alive! She runs straight at the enemy with a bat in her hands. What are you doing again?! Run from here! Shredder grabs O`Neil with his claws and throws her to the side under a huge box hanging on the chain of the lift. The next second, the armor quickly chopped off the chains. The load fell on April. I heard a loud crunch of bones, and blood poured out from under the load. The shock froze on my face. And in a split second, Shredder, waving his claws, was in front of me.

— NO! — softshell woke up.

   And the next thing he felt was already real pain from hitting the bed cover. Perhaps a broken solarium is not the best option for a place to sleep. Von Ryan rubbed his forehead. He began to breathe air through his teeth, squinting his eyes. Such a dream. But this is not surprising. After a three-day battle with Shredder, the destruction of Donnie’s entire tech and almost premature death, the turtle could not sleep well. All these thoughts of death from the claws of an obsessed armor scared him.

   Donatello slowly walked down the stairs from the bed. 03:15 AM. Third time in a week. He rubbed his eyes, leaning against the table. Terribly wanted to sleep, but did not want to return to the nightmare. He needs someone who will help to distract from this. But who? Brothers are not an option. Father too... April. Yes, she also suffered, but she can calmly listen and help. The best friend after all.

   Donnie took out his hoodie, left the room, looked around. No one, everyone is sleeping. He slowly but surely headed toward the exit to the surface. He climbed the rusty stairs and opened the hatch. It's raining. To match the mood. Softshell closed the hatch and climbed to the roof of the house. Jogging can also distract. He went straight to his friend, jumping from roof to roof and slapping his feet in the puddles. About ten minutes later he was at her window. It is closed: both the lock and the curtains. Donnie sighed sadly, with his hands in his pocket. Unexpectedly there was a screwdriver. How on time. The turtle held the tool to the lock and stopped. But will it not be a hack? ...Nah, Donnie has the right to do it. He continued to poke around the lock until it clicked, announcing the discovery. Von Ryan slowly opened the window and opened the curtains. But here's what surprised: April sat on her bed in headphones, reading a magazine, under a nightlight:

— Do you know that reading under a dim light is not safe for the eyes?  — he said loudly enough for the girl to hear him.

   She jerked and looked in his direction, pulling out her headphone. They looked at each other for about ten seconds, until O'Neil spoke:

— Said the one who spent days on end sitting at the phone or laptop. — she answered with a grin.

   The girl closed the magazine, put it and the headphones on the pedestal and got out of bed, going to the window from which the softshell peeked out. She shoved him forcefully into the room and closed the window:

— What are you doing here?

— Me? I just wanted to visit you, to check how you are... — he was silent for a while, looking away. — How are you?

   The girl raised an eyebrow, looking skeptically at a friend. Donnie sighed, admitting defeat:

— Yeah-yeah, I know, I'm lying bad. Just a mental problem, Apes.

— Do you want me to listen? — in response came a sad nod. — Sit down and wait. Be right back.

   April left the room. Donnie, as his friend ordered, sat on the bed and waited, looking at her modest room. Solid walls hung with posters, garlands and photos. Photos with her, his brothers, with Splinter, her mom and Mayhem. Even joint photos with him and April, of which there were about five. Donatello smiled involuntarily. For the sake of such moments as to be with the one you love and cherish every moment, you want to live. April came soon with two cups of tea that both of them like. She crouched next to Don, giving him a cup, he gladly took it:

— Well... What happened? — she asked after a moment of silence.

— I had a nightmare. It has been repeated day after day since we got rid of Shredder.

— And what was there?

   Donnie looked at April. And she understood from his gaze. She began to look at the floor, considering everything. It’s strange that it’s Donnie, not even Mikey, who dreams of it:

— It was terrible. — began von Ryan. — I am alone, brothers are dead, there is no tech, I can’t move. Shredder is in front of me, but I see that you are running towards him. But he throws you back and...

— And? — stuttered, the girl asked.

— He killed you. Crushed by a huge cargo box. — Donnie started looking at a point on the wall. — There was a lot of blood, I heard a bone crunch. Shredder wanted to attack me, but I woke up.

   April looked frightened at her friend. Everyone shared their dreams with her, even Leo. Even Splinter! But not a single dream was so strange and cruel. And then the first dream that her best friend shared turned out to be just that. She wanted to support him, but Donnie continued:

— You know, I wanted to make a copy of Sunita's brooch. I wanted to become a human, wanted to study at school, go to college... But it turns out that we must fight all the villains, defending New York, and only God knows when this will end! — Donatello sobbed, bitter tears flowed from his eyes, dripping into sweet tea. — I do not want all this... I don’t want eternal battles, I don’t want victims, I don’t want... To die.

— Drop these thoughts, please! — O'Neil exclaimed, wiping the tears from the turtle’s eyes and holding a hand on his cheek. — You know that won't happen. You know that everything will be alright! Yes, we will fight for the preservation of the city, we will fight with the villains, but we will not die.

— YOU DO NOT KNOW THIS! — Don cried out, almost crushing the mug in his hands. He put it quickly on the pedestal and got out of bed. —  All I hear is words! "Everything will be fine! We can do it! We will win!" But no one knows the real cruelty of life! However, I lost everything I created over the years in a couple of seconds! Shredder nearly killed me! He nearly crippled Raph and Mikey! He almost crippled YOU! I am glad that we generally survived those three days, but the uncertainty about what will happen scares me! I’m afraid that I can literally lose everything: our adventures, our games, watching TV, pizza, Leo’s jokes, Raph’s hugs, Mikey’s paintings, Splinter’s stories, and, most importantly, my only best friend! SO HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT!? — he abruptly fell silent.

   The room became very quiet, only sobs of the softshell and the sound of raindrops on the windowsill were audible. Donnie stood with his hands on his head, it seemed as if it would burst from his own scream. The throat now hurts, tears rolled down in a hail. This silence would have lasted longer if Von Ryan had not heard something. Is April... Crying? But she never... No... No, no, no! Donnie did not want to bring her to tears, he did not want to! The turtle knelt in front of her and put his hands on hers, holding a mug of tea that had already cooled down:

— Forgive me. I shouldn't have yelled at you. You are not to blame for our problems. You shouldn't have been involved.

— What!? — the girl was alarmed. Mayhem, which sat with her and reassured her, flinched. — You want to say that after all that we have experienced I am not a participant in all these troubles?! But I was the first to enter the Secret City. I helped you deal with the Purple Dragons, you guys saved me from Albearto, from Hypnopotamus, you defended my “Normal” day from Foot Clan, you helped to get Mayhem from the mirror, and I helped you with the missions. And remember, if I didn’t get on the train, we would not have guessed where Foot Clan had taken the armor! And you still think that I should not participate in this? So you don’t appreciate me as an important member of the team? As a family member?!

— It's not like that at all, April! — Donnie grabbed the girl by the shoulders. — I appreciate you! As a member of a team or family! And you can’t imagine how much I cherish you! I cherish the moment when we met! And I love you with all my heart, like a sister, but I'm afraid to lose you... — Donnie whispered.

   It was a shame. He just wanted help, support, and in the end he upset his friend. What kind of friend is he who raises his voice? April's hand touched turtle's cheek, and he looked at the her. She smiled faintly. She is no longer angry, but a precipitate of sadness remains in her eyes:

—  You're a fool. — O'Neil grinned. — Well, come here. — she put the mug down on the pedestal next to his and opened her arms for a hug.

   Donnie looked at April in surprise. They had not hugged together for so long, as if never. Von Ryan wiped away his tears and reached for his friend, clutching in "warm shackles." They sat like this for about five minutes. April began to giggle.

— What are you doing? — Donnie asked perplexedly, not breaking his arms.

— It's nothing. Just... To talk out, we had to yell at each other. I hope this does not happen again?

— We’ll try to prevent this... Listen, um... Can I stay with you this night?

— Of course, dude. Of course. Just sleep on the couch. — she laughed. — Just kidding, of course. You sleep with me, so that in case of what I reassured you.

— Pf! As you say, April.

I wanted to write that Donnie is more outspoken with April

Just adore these two

/if there are errors in the translation, then tell me about them. I am doing my best/

[rai--n]

Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist

September 17, 2018

Gahd I love it :<<

Okay, first of all, I have just watched Molly’s Game, like, five-six days ago, and I was instantly hooked with Player X, that is, Michael Cera. So, it is very me to search for the characters of the movies I just watched, and it is also very me to just download random movies (I pick from this huge list from the net). So when I searched for Cera and skimmed through his movies, I instantly mentally noted Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist (NNIP). The poster is very romance-y and I wasn’t really into romance movies, but I recently watched 500 Days of Summer and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and gahd I just loved those sooo much, and so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to try one again (and it’s Cera!). So tonight, I was scrolling through my films and saw NNIP and I knew it’s gonna be a good night (spoiler: it was!).

I loved it. Soooo much. Okay. Some lines I found note-worthy:

“I don’t wanna go. I’m taking a mental health day.” Okay, first line that I thought was really woah. I mean, basically because I wish I could say that as easily as he did (hayz). I also wish I have spare days to take as my ‘Mental Health Day’ too, y’know. I wish we all have that. Kinda like one of those permissible absences we are given in colleges, or leaves in offices. A mental health day off kind of thing.

It could have some repercussions to me tho. I mean, being always reminded to keep our mental health in check kinda had negative reactions to me before. I somehow focused ‘too much’ on my mental health, and ended up overreacting to every little setback I found in my way. I was oversensitive and I just stumbled and stumbled and found it harder to move on because of how easily I was overwhelmed with things.

I mean, I’m not against Mental Health campaigns, sooo not against it. I feel everyone who needs it, everyone who needs help, should be able to get some. It’s just, it kinda didn’t work too well with me, I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t really have the proper guidance when it comes to dealing with my mental health. Bottomline is, yeah, I wish we have that mental health day hehe.

“It’s not that easy, guys. You don’t know what it’s like to be straight. It’s awful.” XDDD I wonder who has it worse, really.

Then we get the Fluffy announcement: “…the rarest show on Earth is rumored to go on after hours so keep an eye out for those little rabbits. You never know where they might lead you.” And you just know Where’s Fluffy’s a metaphor to ‘Where’s Love’, and their journey finding Where’s Fluffy would be Nick and Norah’s journey to love.

“You’re practically blowing him with your eyes.” “You cannot do anybody with your eyes, Caroline…well, you can.” I laughed at this!

I also love how Caroline is like the greatest force moving their story! Also the gum wth HAHA I don’t know what to make of it. It’s disgusting and funny how it was passed onto, like between lovers slash bffs, how the girls took extra care of it, like Caroline picked it up from the toilet, and how Norah slapped Nick’s hands first when he tried to touch it soooo I guess it’s like love? I don’t know HAHA. It was just spat into some random guy in the end tho XD

“Nicky is definitely worth the underwire. He just needs a little push, that’s all.” Aren’t we all?

“…a hundred percent, yknow, gay. Gay every day, all the time.” XDDD I do wonder, are people a hundred percent anything, tho? Everyday, all the time? I mean, aren’t we too changeable to be something all the time?

“I don’t really subscribe to any label.” Man, Nick sure does know things to say. I actually want this tattooed on my forehead right now. Or maybe wear a headband with this sign sticking on top, like taped on the cat ears. Or a hoodie, yep, that’s easier.

“Cherish one another, folks.” <3 Can we all take a moment to stamp this onto our brains.

“…she’s gone. So I think now is the time we cut our losses and go find Fluffy.” I like this scene.

I loved the search party part. I mean, all throughout you could really see and feel their friendship, but the search party part is so fun. I always wished to have those kind of cool nights with friends (I mean, give me car and we definitely will hayz).

“No, just because there was a last bus doesn’t mean she was on the last bus.” This line struck me, yo. Actually I like contemplating on ‘just because there was … doesn’t mean it was …’ logic.

I really find moments when main characters went with ‘hi’ ‘hey’ convo the special ones. And the little things stick with me.

‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand’ idea is pretty cool. (I really don’t know what to type here, it’s one of those ideas you just contemplate on)

“Since when does a queen need an excuse to sing?” Uhh, since when does anyone need an excuse to sing? I also love this Christmas show scene. And the phone booth scene, that’s so sweet!

“…you just feel ignored for long enough and it’s just nice to feel special sometimes.” A very dangerous phrase.

‘my musical soulmate’, I’d like to find mine.

“The way you’re moving in your sleep, the way you look before you leap, the strange illusions that you keep, you don’t know, but I’m noticing.” <3

“the world’s been broken into pieces and it’s everybody’s job to find them and put them back together again.” ‘Maybe we are the pieces’ idea is great!

“Are you sad we missed it?” “We didn’t miss it. This is it.” They found Fluffy <3

---

I have to say, Cera’s smile melts mah heart.

Also, Andy Samberg was in the movie!! I didn’t recognized him in the movie tho, I just saw his name in the credits (yes, we all should finish the credits), and went back and was blown away. I’ve just been obsessed with Brooklyn Nine-Nine, like just this month, share.

Edit: So yeah, I read this blog about why NNIP sucks, and I thought I was a bit too biased writing my thoughts about it. But then I realized, these are my thoughts, of course I could be biased as much as I want to. I write depending on how I felt. And I felt overflowing love watching NNIP. So, some of the character’s may be two-dimensional, and other’s might be too picky about that, but I am not. I focused on the ideas it sparked in me. And there are a lot HAHA. I kinda listed too much lines, but yahh.