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jhaernyl · 7 years ago

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So, I stopped reading perhaps two posts ago, by the time I finish writing this maybe five posts ago, because I need to get this shit off my chest.

(Because Alas Going To Work does not mean someone actually stops the shit posting. It's really just a convenient "Mic Dropped, I Am Out Bitches" ending to a shitty fucking post that shits all over the people who have been in the corner and you have been mistreating, while setting you up to be the victim of those bad people who will not stay around for you to shit on them after you already used them, got your back patted by and then ignored in favor of bemoaning how alone and victimized you are).

@poplitealqueen (because when you talk about someone you should do them the favor to @ them rather than just drop their names thus calling them out without immediately alerting them you called them out personally) how about you stop with this fucking woe-is-me bullshit?

Woe is not fucking you.

You are a decently known author. You are not deadcat-famous but you did not spend more ten years writing a fic through huge life changes, sticking by it and determinedly trudging on without unleashing a constant stream of Witness My Self-Victiminization posts. You are known enough in the circles of the people who like the kind of fics you write that people answer to your posts and send you asks, ask you thing and show you support, as well as reading and kudo-ing your fics. Maybe less than they once did, but fandom is fickle, always has been fickle and always will be.

People have their own lives and they move on and then sometimes they come back and sometimes they do not. Some fandoms get their heyday and then the more dedicated people stay on and then the show goes off the air, the comic stops publishing, the canon is completely erased in favor of a new one and people get interested in things that offer new content. That's life and it might suck but hey, darling sweet little girl, IT SUCKS THE SAME FOR EVERYBODY.

You know how it feels to sit down with someone, give them complete support and try your damn all to make them see the good sides of things and comfort them by saying that people will be there for them, only to log on and look at their account and find them answering asks and having long convos with people and getting funny posts that get 7k notes (the Luke-in-the-tlj-trailer one) while your posts are big when they get over 80 notes in a few weeks of activity (and only when boosted by other people with more popularity than the OP) and when you publish memes no one gives a fuck about asking about your OCs?

No.

Because you are the person moaning and bitching while having it better and I am the person who gave you support while being fully aware of my much less active and noticed blog. I am the person who sent you asks and reblogged your memes (you know, the ones I later on see you say SEND SOMETHING IF YOU REBLOG about but you never answer when it's me blogging them?). You are the person who does not see reality as it is because it's not convenient to them.

Yes, I said convenient.

Why?

Because you are the kind of person who likes to, as we say in Italy, bask in their own broth.

By which I mean: you are milking being the Depressed Artist Who Nobody Likes shtick for all it's worth, hooking people up on your drama and using them (like you used my Lee, before you dropped her like hot coals once Senpai FlameThrower Noticed You) only to later on shit on them (like the bullshit you said about me not having reached out for you in weeks, which I can disproves with fucking screencaps of our chat, darling, so do not try to pull the "I Am Bad But She Abandoned Me [So Clearly I Am The Victim But You Are Supposed To Get That From Contest So I Can Be The Victim When The Other Party Gets Angry]" move).

I am pretty sure you are not aware of it and people have trouble either telling it to you (it is a brutal thing to say, made even more brutal by the fact that it's true) or realizing what is going on, but you *are* doing it. Oh boy are you ever doing it.

It does not matter what other people do.

It does not matter that I was inspired for a few days straight to work on fanarts for you.

It does not matter how many people send you asks and support and take time out of their own lives to hold your hand and put their arm around your shoulders and support you.

You are still constantly posting that nobody likes you, nobody cares about you, nobody gives you notes on the posts you like, people do not answer to your posts.

Except that when I get around to seeing things (after I sleep, do my fucking job babysitting two kids I cannot take my eyes off of lest they kill themselves or each other and actually spend time with my mom and fiancee) I do but I get no answer back from you, I suppose because I am somewhat contractually obliged to do it with you but the opposite does not apply to you when you can spend your time posting depressing Mood Things rather than engaging into further interaction.

Except that when I get around to checking your blogs (after the same things as above), I like all the stuff I can look at without being spoiled for things I want to see.

Except that I kept reaching out in the chat and being met with silence for days on your end.

And, again, all of that does not matter at all, not to you, because being Mood Depressed Unloved Artist is more important than actually getting off your ass and making the changes you need to make.

You say "I have resolved to be positive" and then it's day after day after day of depressing Mood Posts and NOBODY LOVES ME.

People love you, you just make it hard for some of that love to prosper, given how you do not nurture it, you do not work with the other person, you prefer to shitpost about being unloved.

You know why people unfollow you?

Because you are a negative fucking person to be around and because even after they have given you time, attention, support, the notes you wants, the kudos you want, you still make shitty call out posts that allow you to play the victim and react to them cutting your negativity out of your life with the classic Fandom Shit Move of "Way To Abandon The Person Having a Breakdown."

Darling, I know you told me you have maybe one breakdown per month but I need you to sit down and listen to this.

You have a breakdown per week, sometimes twice per week.

Many of these breakdowns lead you to shit even more than your usual on the people who are there for you.

Having any kind of mental illness does not excuse the behavior you have been exhibiting or making your actions acceptable.

I am also not contractually obliged to let you spew bullshit about me and still stick by you. I signed no piece of paper or clicked ok on any internet document that said "I have to put up with you whining about notes and Patreon not expanding fast enough and people not giving your due for the work you do, when my Patreon never went past three people and 15 dollars and you get a little bit more than 100 dollars per month".

I am not trying for sainthood here, I am not going to just stand by and smile and nod and pat your back while you spew things that hurt me in public rather than reach out to me and talk about it.

Like I said we could and should do? Like I encouraged you to do? Like I told you that you could do at any point and we would talk things out and resolve them? You remember that chat or has it been conveniently removed from your memories so you can justify your behavior to yourself? In that case, please dear, do scroll up our chat and check it for yourself. It's a conversation we actually did have.

You are 21, not 11 and the kind of call post you did today was uncalled for and very primary school of you. Shitting over people on public while setting you up as Poor Victim Miss Pops unless people haste to run at your side and declare their friendship to you is not how friendships get mended, it's petty emotional manipulation meant to make other people feel guilty and force them to come to you in a way that puts you in a position of power and (fake) superior moral ground.

You do not have the superior moral ground and I am not giving you that power.

You can either get your head out of your ass, stop being someone who is constantly negative and reach out to me on your own, ready to meet on equal ground to mend what could have been the beginning or an actual friendship or you can play the victim further, keep down the road you are on and enjoy basking in your broth.

I will not unfollow you, I will keep reading your posts and liking the ones I like, I will keep enjoying your writing, I will keep being happy when new fic from you shows up in my inbox, I will keep giving you kudos and I will keep supporting you as an artist on Patreon and both my email and my chat on tumbrl will always be open to you (with the understanding that I will answer you when I get around to have the time for it depending on the day I am having). If inspiration strikes again, I will make more fanarts.

Have a good work day.

#poplitealqueen #Me Myself & I #call out post #because I am sick and tired of this emotionally manipulative bullshit

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mittensmorgul · 8 years ago

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I feel down after the new episode, do you think it is still possible that dean will stop sleeping around with women and get together with cas? idk i feel like it will never end and since 11x23 we've seen dean repeat too much that cas is a brother/best friend and it's starting to make me nervous

Well, Dean is a single man, not in a committed relationship (even if WE can clearly see he’s obviously married to Cas), who is allowed to sleep with whoever he wants. Period. But there are some things in that whole scene in the Pickle Jack Shack. And I mean really… the whole place is a sexual innuendo.

Sorry for my “photo of the tv screen screencapping” but… that phallic pickle protruding from the bull riding sign? Ooookay.

(this is also for my two anons asking about what the significance of “Riding Larry” is, so heads up. All will be revealed!)

Also, isn’t it awesome that Sam picked agents Moon and Entwhistle– the two deceased members of The Who as their aliases. THE WHO? on the nose aliases there.

Dean had been “Springsteen, like the Boss” the night before when he’d been talking with her. After she agrees to tell them everything that happened, here’s what she says, with my commentary in parenthesis:

Elke: He ordered burgers to go. It was gonna be a minute. We were slammed. And you knocked back… four shots of tequila?

(already yet another implication that Dean had been drunk, when four shots of tequila for him is probably a warm up)

Elke: Put some (finger quotes) “sick jams” on the juke, and then you hit the bull.

Sam: he what?

Dean: I what?

Elke: Oh yeah, you had the hots for Larry as soon as you walked in here.

(immediately setting an entirely different tone for this conversation, by presenting Dean’s interest in Larry– the mechanical bull with a huge pickle for a phallus– as sexual. Larry is a man’s name, and Dean had “the hots” for him.)

Sam: (quite befuddled by this) He… Dean… you rode Larry?

Dean: (considers this for a minute) Was I good?

Elke: You were– amazing.

(Dean processes that– the fact that he apparently demonstrated skill at riding Larry, and then hums in acceptance of the fact. He smiles. Elke smiles, Sam rolls his eyes so hard he nearly pulls a muscle).

Elke: Anyway, We got to talking, and… you know…

(remember what she’d said earlier, that they were “slammed,” meaning overwhelmed by a rush of customers. Not exactly the sort of situation in which a waitress can “get to talking” with a customer just waiting around for his dinner order to be ready, you know? I already suspect that Elke realizes that Dean WAS roofied here, and didn’t exactly remember what he’d said or done with her… AND THIS I BELIEVE WAS HER TEST TO PROVE IT. She needed to confirm whether he did or didn’t remember what had happened. I’ll quote her here, and then explain afterward)

Elke: (in response to Dean’s complete straight-faced, emotionless waiting for her answer) We blew off some steam.

(Dean STILL has to stop and work out exactly what she means, and then when it registers, Dean only replies with a surprised little “Ah!” Not seeming to recall anything. Because he didn’t. And this doesn’t seem to bother Elke. Because she’s already been told that he was “roofied.” Because most folks would be upset that someone had no obvious response to the confirmation that they’d apparently had sex... It’s kinda insulting, you know? BUT ELKE WAS NOT INSULTED BY DEAN’S LACK OF ANY SORT OF RESPONSE TO THIS INFORMATION. Like the slap to his face earlier implied she would be.)

Sam: Did you see him talking with anyone else?

Elke: My bartender said she saw him run out of here like his pants caught on fire. We were supposed to meet up after close-up. But you never showed…

(Dean looks lost again)

Elke: Poor thing, you were all roofed up! I didn’t… I am so sorry if I took advantage of you.

Dean: (smiling uncomfortably… because yeah… and patting her on the arm) It’s okay.

(Sam asks if they have security cameras and then the scene shifts to Sam and Dean sitting at a table watching security footage on a laptop)

Dean: First action in I don’t know how long, and it’s like it never even happened. Figures.

Sam: Ha. See now that’s comedy.

Okay, now HERE’S THE KEY TO UNDERSTANDING THIS SCENE: waffles.

Yes, waffles.

Who doesn’t love waffles? May I direct you to the Waffle Masterpost, containing EVERY reference to waffles ever on this show (well, aside from this episode, but I’ll update it in a bit here…)

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/156133372175/have-we-ever-seen-waffles-on-the-show-outside-of

But what it boils down to is the fact that waffles in this show share some of the same symbolism with El Sol beer. And if it wasn’t clear enough, there was a huge glowing El Sol sign there for good measure.

But as soon as Dean spotted Elke when he and Sam walked into the bar, he identified her as, “the girl from the waffles.” SHE WAS AN ILLUSION, A DECEPTION. She was the girl from the waffles. Waffles being a “more innocent deception” than El Sol.

Because her story of what she and Dean did contradicts itself. Either they were “slammed” to the point that they were so busy that Dean had to wait so long for his food that he not only had multiple shots of tequila but ALSO had time to ride Larry, or she and Dean had time for a leisurely chat and even MORE time to take a break and go somewhere to “blow off some steam.”

Which was it, lady?

She only knew that Dean LEFT, in fact “ran out of here like his pants caught on fire,” because HER BARTENDER told her. Because Elke was “slammed” with customers. THIS IS WHY SHE SLAPPED HIM. Because Dean ran out before her shift ended, when they were supposed to meet up. He ditched her, and then “pretended” not to even recognize her, after having chatted her up and made plans for after her apparently very busy shift, and that’s why I think she was just fucking with him here.

I mean, either she was so busy that Dean had to wait for service, or she had enough time to have some sort of long talk and a quickie in the bathroom or the alley or wherever. WHICH WAS IT, ELKE?!

So in the conversation that revolved around the fact that Dean had been “roofied,” bookended by “the girl from the waffles” and Dean’s assertion that it was “like it never even happened,” well...

I have serious doubts that anything really DID happen.

I mean, I think he was planning on something happening. He was going to go back after her shift to meet up with her... possibly... but did he ever even get his burgers?!

And without his memories, is it weird that it took THREE TRIES to find the place Dean had gone that night. That place was the third one they checked out, and Sam would’ve followed the same sort of Hunter Logic in trying to find the burger joint Dean went to, probably starting with the one closest to their motel and working his way out. So Dean bypassed two other perfectly good burger places to walk to THIS PLACE SPECIFICALLY. This place that advertised the mechanical bull riding.

This place where Elke confirmed that Dean “had the hots for Larry as soon as he walked in.”

Dean went out of his way to get a burger from THIS PLACE not because he didn’t think the other burger places were any good, but BECAUSE HE WANTED TO RIDE THE MECHANICAL BULL. My guess? He probably saw the sign on their way back to the motel, and he gave the excuse to Sam that he was going out for burgers while Sam did the research SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SNEAK OUT AND RIDE LARRY.

I mean... ???? This is one of those things that Performing Dean would NEVER do, would NEVER ADMIT TO SAM that he would do. Which is why Sam was so ?????? that Dean actually RODE LARRY.

Because Dean hadn’t been “roofied” yet at that point. That was all Dean.

He wanted to do something silly and fun and homoerotic without being judged for it. This is the same Dean that unapologetically loves Finding Nemo. And waffles...

So he has a few shots of liquid courage and climbs on Larry. We see that scene at the end of the episode. He fully gets that memory back, and what appear to be snippets of Hexed Dean Moments... and yet he gets no memories back of his “blowing off some steam” with Elke.

Because it’s like it never even happened.

I think Elke was slowly realizing throughout her conversation that Sam and Dean weren’t lying about Dean not remembering anything from the night before. So she went from angry over having been stood up and Dean “pretending” he didn’t even remember her, to passive-aggressively answering their questions... to noticing Sam and Dean’s bizarre reactions to hearing that he gleefully rode Larry... and then I think threw in the bit about blowing off steam with him just to see his reaction.

He seemed genuinely incapable of either confirming or denying it, and took her word for it that they did something sexual. He wasn’t gross about it, he didn’t elaborate on her assertion, nor did he immediately deny it either. He just accepted her word and moved on.

Notice immediately after that point she distances herself from Dean with her words... not “he ran out” or “I saw him run out, but “my bartender said she saw him run out.” BECAUSE ELKE HERSELF WAS “SLAMMED.” She was busy DOING HER JOB. She didn’t even SEE him run out without his food.

And really, how the hell long was he there, if he had multiple shots while waiting for the burgers, picked songs on the jukebox, rode Larry, made plans for after work with Elke (that he may or may not have intended to follow up on) while sitting at the bar while SHE WAS BUSY WORKING. Long enough after all that for her to not even notice him suddenly run out? BEFORE HE EVEN GOT HIS BURGERS?!

Like, how the hell long does it take to flip a couple of burgers? 15? 20 minutes tops? Even if they’re slammed?

And he still managed to do ALL THAT ^^ WHILE WAITING?

And then as Dean and Sam ran out the back door, we can see a GIANT glowing El Sol sign just inside the bar.

EVERYTHING that happened in there, aside from Dean riding Larry, was an illusion that started with the girl from the waffles and ended with him escaping out the back door past an El Sol sign.

The ONLY thing we actually SEE that was TRUE was that Dean rode Larry.

(aside to note that Dean confirmed himself that he hasn’t had any “action” in so long he can’t even remember when it happened...)

And for my Larry anons, I have no idea if “Riding Larry” is an idiom, but “riding” is a sexual innuendo. And the implication that Dean rode Larry... well... I mean just watch him and tell me what you think is going on there... Dean... riding a dude called Larry... it’s not complex math here.

(and heck here’s another reference... that time Dean WAS roofied in 9.13... SWEET POTATOES. Salted caramel. Best of both worlds. Salty and sweet. and that reminds me of the other “sweet” references lately in relation to angels... and we’re down the rabbit hole again)

#Anonymous #spn s12 spoilers #spn 12.11 #the waffle masterpost #for those not fluent in wanekese el sol is the beer of illusions and deception it is a warning sign #oh DEAN #dean winchester is bilingual #YOU RODE LARRY!#spn 9.13

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movietvtechgeeks · 8 years ago

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Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/misha-collins-gives-classic-supernatural-interview/

Misha Collins gives a classic 'Supernatural' interview

As I’m about to have a new book about Supernatural released on May 9 (Family Don’t End With Blood: Cast and Fans on How Supernatural Has Changed Lives which you can get here), I’m reflecting back on some of my many conversations with the Supernatural cast over the past decade. Getting to know this special group of actors, as well as the extraordinary group of people that is the Supernatural fandom, is what gave me the idea for the new book. I knew that fans had powerful stories about how the show had changed (or even saved) their lives; from chatting with the actors over the years, I knew that they did too. So I thought I’d share some of those interviews here – take a trip down memory lane, as it were. First up, Misha Collins! Misha wrote a special essay for Family Don’t End With Blood, but it isn’t the first time he’s contributed to our books. He wrote a powerful (and amusing) chapter in our last book, Fan Phenomena: Supernatural, too. And he contributed to Fangasm: Supernatural Fangirls. In fact, he had the last word in that book, which made him happy. Way back in 2012, we posted some excerpts from our first meeting with Misha. We didn’t know him at all then, so let’s just say he was full of surprises—and that we had a very good time indeed. Check out when we interviewed Lynn on her own Supernatural experiences. Check out exclusive excerpts from Lynn's upcoming book! So, here's Misha Collins in all his glory speaking straight from the heart. We first sat down with Collins shortly after he joined the cast, and before he had any clue what “fandom” was all about – or even that Supernatural had so many passionate fans! We had spent the day on the Supernatural set, doing interviews for some articles in Supernatural Magazine, so by the time we returned to our hotel at Vancouver’s lovely Sutton Place, it was already late – not too late though, we hoped with some trepidation, for our scheduled interview with Collins. We’d been seriously impressed by Castiel’s dramatic introduction to the show, and his already powerful connection with Dean, and couldn’t wait to chat with the actor who portrayed him. Our set van pulled up to Sutton Place behind the one transporting Misha, and when he jumped out, we were completely caught off guard by how much the actor didn’t look like the character. Obviously the lack of trenchcoat was instrumental, but frankly, we just didn’t expect Collins to be so — well, attractive! Dressed in faded vintage flare jeans and a gauzy shirt, he looked like he’d just stepped out of the 70s, which was a very good look on him indeed. Add to that a beaming smile instead of Castiel’s uber stern verging-on-constipated expression, and damn, who knew! An hour later, we joined Collins in Sutton Place’s cozy bar, Gerard’s, for a drink and what was scheduled to be a half hour interview. Misha had just been booked for his first Supernatural convention, so he kicked off the interview by asking us what to expect, since no one had prepared him. Which seemed odd to us, since he certainly had a few convention experts at his disposal. Lynn: No? Did you ask Jared and Jensen — because they’ve been to a million. Misha: Yes, but I didn’t get a clear picture. Maybe they didn’t want to scare me. It’s an unusual phenomenon? In your opinions? Kathy: There have been other shows popular enough for conventions, of course, but Supernatural seems different. The dedication and also the level of involvement really is what impresses us. Not just watching the show, but writing meta-analysis of the show, fabulous fanfiction, screencap by screencap analysis of scenes…. We just came from an interview with (propmaster) Chris Cooper, and talking with him about the little tiny things fans pick up on. They know that you have to find the exact same thing you used in season 1 and bring it back in season 4 because fans screencap it and say hey, it’s not the same. (Not us, alas. We’re oblivious. You could probably replace the Impala with a hybrid and we wouldn’t notice. JUST KIDDING! But seriously, our friend Mary once realized that a scene of Sam and Dean burning bones at a graveyard was footage from a previous episode. And she was RIGHT!) Misha: It is amazing the level of creative input, not just the nitpicking continuity questions, but the creative input. Now that we were five minutes into our allotted thirty and had not yet managed to ask one measly question from our handy dandy prepared notes, Misha hijacked the interview once again to ask another. This constantly happens to us in interviews, which we used to think was due to the fact that we’re an English professor and a psychologist, not journalists, and thus we fail at journalistic rigor. Luckily their questions are as interesting as ours anyway at least half the time. Misha: Can I ask one more question, then you can ask your questions? Us: Oh, sure, no problem, of course. (Really, who would say no to those blue eyes??) Misha: From a psychological vantage point, what needs is this fulfilling? Leave it to Misha to ask a question that took us an entire BOOK to answer. He’s now got it all in one handy dandy place in Fandom At The Crossroads. At the time, we were only beginning our research for that book, but we laid out our theories about the supportive, normalizing, validating role that the fan community plays, and the ways in which creative expression like fanfiction, vidding, and fanart can be for play, celebration and fun – and for exploring identity, self expression, even working through trauma, with the fan community a kind of group therapy experience. Collins, we have to say, listened much more intently than most of our students. Alas. Misha: That’s very interesting. Kathy: Most fans kind of get into fandom because it’s a way to be accepted. So if you’re passionate about a television show, most people outside of that community will look at you and say “Get a life”. Within that community, it’s a conversation about people and places. That’s where we started and just really wanted to be. Lynn: The other weird thing about this fandom is, the more we’ve researched it, the more we realize that it’s a very reciprocal fandom. The creative side — the actors, writers, production office, directors, the art department –they interact with the fans directly and in a very respectful way. This is a smart, educated, older fandom. It’s not 10 year old kids who don’t know what their boundaries should be. So they’ve really built up this really reciprocal, active relationship. Misha: That’s very interesting. At this point, we realized we were now halfway through our allotted time, and Misha had mostly fixed us with those puppy eyes and kept us talking with “that’s very interesting” interjections. Damn!! We started to wonder if we’d been compelled-by-an-angel. Breaking eye contact with difficulty, we attempted to change the interview back to US interviewing HIM. Lynn: You must have had some interactions with the Supernatural fans. Misha: You know, I’ve received fan mail and it’s actually, I don’t know why, but previously my fan mail was coming from the US prison systems. Inmates were writing me. Lynn: (at the time utterly clueless about Misha’s propensity for teasing with a completely straight face….) Wait, what? Was that because you were on ‘24’ or what? Yes, those are Lynn’s incredible powers of hypothesizing. Misha: (still with that totally serious face, ensuring that Lynn would continue to look like a moron….) Honestly, I don’t know. I assume it must have been 24. Lynn: (continues to look like…..yeah yeah, whatever.) Misha: (realizing we’re going to, sadly, remain clueless….) Well this will be different because it seems like actual letters from people who really have a personal investment in getting a response, which gives it a different tenor to the writing than someone trying to collect a random collection of autographs that have no sort of personal meaning. Other than that, I’ve been approached on the street, there’s no way for me to tell if they’ve been avid fans or people who just watch the show. They were very respectful and positive. Kathy: This is an interesting fandom, because they don’t always take well to new characters in the show, they pretty much want the show to be about the boys. Your character is an exception, almost immediately the fandom took to this new character. We’ve never seen this before. Misha: (deadpans) You’ve hated the character. Lynn (beginning to get with the program): Did we say that?! Misha: (grinning) I think part of that has to do with the build up, being receptive to Castiel. It was such an inherent piece of the story. The character is a super character, a super cool character, it was a super cool introduction to the character. Lynn: Talk about drama! And it doesn’t hurt that there is a great deal of chemistry between Castiel and Dean. Misha: The scenes that we’ve had together, there’s something that clicks and they’re easy, the way we interact with each other. Lynn: There is, yes, in Castiel’s interactions with Dean. I always wonder how much of it you can feel in the moment. Could you tell if it’s going to be good, how it will play out on the screen? Misha: No, never. I’m not very good at telling. I think they’re really right on. I think the things that are horrible actually turn out to be the best. Lynn (deadpans): Luckily you’re not doing the editing. Misha: (who can take it as well as he can give it) Right. I don’t know why, but there’s always a certain intensity, like a quiet intensity that seems to organically comes out when we’re (Cas and Dean) doing scenes. We pointed out that for some reason, the Cas and Dean scenes, especially early on, were set up in a very intimate way, with lots of whispered conversation and emotion-packed stares and glares. Fandom, predictably, was almost immediately captivated by the character and his relationship with Dean. Kathy: The first online community devoted to Castiel (and Dean) was created within 42 minutes of the character’s introduction. Misha: (deadpan) Why do you think it took so long? Maybe the servers were down or something. We took a break when food and drink arrived, and somehow Misha once again took up question-asking instead of question-answering. Misha: So is that stuff mostly on Live Journal? What is Live Journal? How gigantic is it? How many people in the domestic US belong to these communities, about 10,000 people, or 100,000 people? As you can see, Misha is an excellent interviewer. It took us about ten minutes to realize we were once again being interviewed instead of interviewing, and to determinedly turn the tables back. Did he have any idea, when he auditioned for Supernatural, how passionate the fandom was? Misha: I had no idea what I was walking into. I had no idea when I went into audition. Lynn (grabbing the chance to ask one of our many still-unasked questions): Oh hey, that’s one of our questions! What made you audition for this role? Misha: The desire for a job. I think I didn’t even realize until after the audition what it was for, I thought it was a guest star. My manager told me, but I wasn’t paying attention. It was a demon that I was auditioning for. Kripke didn’t want it to get out to fandom (that Castiel was an angel). He gave me a little direction, after I did the demon version once, he gave me a little direction to change it to be an angel, and he told me they hadn’t been down on earth for two thousand years so there would be a quality of just looking at humans as though they were strange alien beings. Lynn: You do that so well. Psychologists are always trying to read people’s non-verbals. And there’s this subtle sort of little twist you do, regarding people a little too long and sort of speaking a little more slowly, because you’re not sure of your footing. It’s very subtle, but it’s very there. Misha: Cool. It’s fun to play with that. Lynn: Castiel is a complicated character and I think fans like that too because he’s not — you can’t really peg him. Is he good? Is he not good? He’s a sympathetic character but he can be a bastard. Does he like Dean, does he hate Dean, does he want to take Dean apart? Misha: (deadpans) Does he want to take Dean to bed? Lynn: (nearly spits her drink all over her interview notes). Excellent question! Both of us (silently): Everyone wants to take Dean to bed….. Kathy: (recovering from the take-Dean-to-bed visuals first) So, has anyone told you anything about what the conventions are like? Misha: No. I’ve never been to one. Kathy: Well, there will be thousands of people. And as soon as you walk out onto the stage there will be clapping and cheering. Misha: Sounds like a fantasy. Kathy: It does, doesn’t it? Then you’ll have to answer their questions on the spot. Misha: I have a friend who was on the last Star Trek series and he was telling me about his conventions a few years ago, and I was thinking, wow, I hope my career never comes to that. Then I got the first call and I was like, WHAT???? FANTASTIC, I can handle this, sign me up! At the time, Misha had just filmed his acrobatic guest spot on Nip/Tuck, and there was a clip on Youtube which the SPN fandom was loving. For obvious reasons. Misha: My barber found it and when I went in for my hair cut, he said your Nip/ Tuck clip had like more than 30,000 hits — oh, and it’s airing next week. I didn’t know it. I said, how the hell did you know that? It was a pretty weird role. When I shot it, before I was shooting this, I thought it would be under the radar. Famous last thoughts. Lynn: That’s pretty funny. And even after having been on things like 24, because that’s a pretty popular show, it doesn’t have the sort of concentrated fan base that this show has. This is something different for you. Misha: Totally different. Interesting, because something like 24, there’s more people watching me, but no one interviewing me. Lynn: No, exactly. Not watching you in the same way. I mean, I don’t want to make you paranoid…. Misha: You are! Lynn (evil grin): Am I doing a good job? Yes, that’s what we do. Misha: I think it makes me take it a little more seriously. It sort of makes it feel like a bit more of a responsibility. It’s just not some junk that people are half watching. There’s a bit more devotion on the receiving end. This may be totally out of line, but it feels like Jared and Jensen sort of feel that way with the cast and crew. Just the sense that they’re being watched. I haven’t got that kind of attention myself, so that’s good so far. Kathy: You will at the convention. The Supernatural conventions are like a self-contained universe, and it’s a different universe. There within that universe, you’re a celebrity. Misha: That’s funny how when they send the contracts they mention security, and I thought, I’m certainly not going to need that! At this point in the interview (of which we’ve only included excerpts), you may be thinking that surely our allotted thirty minutes had long past. You would be right. This didn’t occur to either us or Collins as we sat in Gerard’s trading interviewer duties, however. It was Misha’s turn again. Misha: Let me just go back to that last point, being scrutinized by the fans. The other thing is, seeing how nasty they are to the people they don’t like, it makes you conscious of that, it’s just not sort of the carrot on the stick. Just the accolades you get that are going to your head and skewing how you think. There’s a little bit of fear for me, being new. What if they turn on me? It would be devastating, it would be like a divorce. I don’t want to go through that. Lynn: Don’t worry, they’re not tired of you. Misha: (deadpans) You haven’t seen the stuff that we shot already, it’s pretty embarrassing. Collins’ zinging sense of humor was apparently nurtured in a remarkably pop culture-free childhood environment. I was raised fairly isolated from the popular culture in general. We didn’t have a TV. We didn’t have any money. We moved around a lot. I was in 15 different schools by the time I was a freshman in high school. I was often an outsider at the school and I never really had a tight network where I would get involved. I was wearing the Michael Jackson glove when everyone else was already on to Prince….I do get into things but I’ve never had a devotion to any popular culture and I’m always not understood at all. Lynn: So you grew up not really a fan and not watching TV — how did you decide to become an actor? Misha: Good question. Lynn: (silently) Finally! Misha: My mom was a professional storyteller when we were growing up, which meant that she would go and tell a story to a school assembly here and there. She did community theater and I was in a couple of her plays. Nothing serious. Then I did a couple of plays in high school. My mother would come to whatever school I was in, and direct the play. I don’t know how, but I would end up getting cast as the lead. As I looked back I was horrified at the nepotism that went into that. I think that the teacher should have said absolutely not, you’re not casting your son as the lead. So I have that background. But I was going to go to law school, I went to the University of Chicago. Then I got out of school and didn’t know what to do with myself right away. I took a little time off and I started a software company. I was just sort of floundering around. At this point, Collins must have realized that the interviewer/interviewee roles had been flipped again, suddenly exclaiming, “Wow, I haven’t given such a long-winded answer in a long time.” We assured him that was fine, and so he went on. Except, abruptly and inexplicably, he was now speaking with an unidentifiable but definitely non-American accent! Misha: I was going into character for some reason when I was in college. Lynn: (silently) Apparently that has continued into the present. Misha: I was a Russian foreign exchange student, Lynn (silently): Ohhhh, so that’s what this is! Misha: And these lasted for a long time, like six to nine months and it was fun and everyone laughed until they got really sick of it. So a couple friends said you should really try acting. Basically I got a head shot taken and took one class when I was living in DC when I interned at the White House. My first audition was for Barry Levinson for Liberty Heights. I didn’t even know what an audition was. I had no idea what I was doing. I got the part and worked on it for about six weeks. Then there was another movie casting locally, which was Girl Interrupted. I thought, this is easy! I’ll be a movie star for a little while. Then I moved out to LA, got an agent and went to my first LA audition and I saw 30 guys there. Auditioning in Baltimore and DC there would be me — the same old me and a black woman and a 4 year old child. Then moving to LA, there were 30 guys that looked like Mike Doppleganger. It took me nine months auditioning five days a week to get a guest star on Charmed. That was my first role in LA. That’s a long-winded story for ya. It was. So long winded that Misha was chastised by The Powers That Be for being late for some phone interviews and we were chastised for making him late. Hey, we were the ones BEING interviewed half the time, it wasn’t our fault! Anyone who has had the pleasure of seeing Misha at a convention knows that he took on the experience with the same intellectual curiosity he brought to our first interview. Sometimes his Q & As are so hysterical that we’re crying from laughing so hard. He broke the rules early and often (huge surprise there….) and in the process changed the norms for cons, and for the ways in which the creative side interacts with fans. He treated fans like fellow adults, asking as many questions as he sorta-kinda-maybe answered (a dynamic with which we were already intimately familiar), tossed out the no-cursing norm, and generally engaged in witty banter that some fans matched him step for step and others just quirked an eyebrow. We will continue through the launch of Lynn's book with some of her best Supernatural interviews. Check out Misha’s chapter – along with many other cast and fan chapters – in Family Don’t End With Blood. You can pre-order it here.

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