#yes this is about the hippo in a top hat yes it is that deep ghgh

[vimbry]

Moominpappa for the ask meme I want to hear hot takes

so! alright, I should really say that a lot of those squares are my thoughts on the mv19 incarnation in particular lol. I think the novel characterisation of pappa, more so in the later works, is certainly deep and definitely horrible at times, but I like him as a character. being a flawed person doesn't mean I find him uninteresting, he serves in the penultimate story as the central source of the conflict and he does it well.

but if we're talking throwing every pappa into the pot at once, uh.

also this got lengthy. I mean LENGHTY lmao idk why pappa inspired so much analysis but! here we go (there’s a tl;dr at the end)

basically, as much as I don't really want to make any arrogant assumptions about the writers behind that adaptation, because all sorts of creative differences could’ve arisen during production, in execution their version of pappa shows what seems to be a very weak understanding of his character in the books. mainly with the "island/at sea" arc. it's known that a lot of his traits were influenced by tove's own very bigoted, misogynistic, right-leaning - and by some accounts, unsurprisingly abusive - father. like the rest of her writing, he's not a 1:1 copy of people in her life, and she herself had mixed views on him as most people with deeply difficult parents do, so he's ofc portrayed as a far more sympathetic person than his inspiration.

but there's still elements of him being the forceful patriarch who, in their last appearance in the series, uproots his family out of selfishness and disregard for their own wants and needs as individuals. he thinks finding and maintaining this island will fill an empty part of him, be his purpose. he’s almost driven mad with how his self-appointed duty consumes him and comes to believe the island is alive, something taunting him that needs to be tamed, and through his growing ego is convinced that he can. throughout the book he belittles and almost alienates himself from his family, ignoring their own problems that have developed since living on the island, because he’s too wrapped up in his own opinions and vision. and while he hasn’t fully turned over a new leaf by the end, he does come to his senses somewhat, and his behaviour is at least treated contemptuously enough by the text that you understand his actions are always framed critically. (the tone, at least to me, sort of implies that altho it’d stated that he and mamma understand how to compromise, something in their relationship has irreversibly changed. sorta up to you as a reader how you take it I suppose!)

(seriously everyone who hasn’t yet READ this one it’s so good, it’s not just focused on pappa, mamma and moomin, and of course the fisherman, have their conflicts too).

whoever signed off on mv19!pappa seems to have "wow cool robot!”’d their way through the book(s). none of that depth is present there. instead, he's just a guy going through your standard mid-life crisis plot. he’s a buffoon with anger issues who got this idea about playing lighthouse keeper, and to me, that’s not as deep as they might’ve thought it was lmao. they do have the characters clash with him at points, but they never really fully commit to how damaging his actions are supposed to be, and he’s forgiven far too easily without even having had to develop as a character. pretty much every negative thing he does, he does in the book, too. with a fun mv19-exclusive moment where the family, rather than the mixture of concerned, frustrated, or mentally checked out they are with pappa/his goals in the book, are actively Afraid and flinchy around him. but because this is a condensed, watered down cartoon adaptation for small children (insultingly so imo, kids deserve better), they have to explicitly redeem him by the end, which is brought on by nothing more than him being self-deprecating and saying he doesn’t deserve his wife’s love, after never once apologising for his behaviour. he’s right, he doesn’t, get in the bin.

the rest of his characterisation throughout the show is similarly weak, but then everyone seems to have gone through the same process of flanderization. he doesn’t ever care about his son beyond seeing him as an extension of himself, he doesn’t treat mamma well except for when the writers throw in a shallow horny flirt in the place of actual chemistry, and none of this is really treated as a problem. and because we’ve yet to see “memoirs” adapted, the only other story where he’s the main focus, there aren’t enough postives to make him at least the slightest bit endearing to me. just a lot of stories where they rehash him being some boring, brash dude full of hot air who needs to learn a lesson about respecting his family and never does. this wouldn’t be problem if these flaws were treated as what they are, but the show’s incongruous tone presents these more as lovable comedic quirks. we’re told he’s supposed to be a good father to moomin and a likeable character, but nothing in the text ever backs that up. they basically just recreated a sanitised version of the actual viktor jansson without any awareness that they did.

anyway, going back to novel pappa - while there’s no explicit mention of any war in the books, the impact of both world wars is baked into the general world of the moomins. tove’s life was affected by her father’s experience fighting in the finnish civil war, and the very first story was being written during the final years of wwII. both this and “comet” function as a not-so-subtle allegory of the trauma and upheaval it caused. I’ve mentioned this many times before haha but it bears repeating, I think the mention of pappa disappearing before the events of “great flood” while travelling with the hattifatteners, a group of mindless wandering creatures who “tricked him” into going with them, is about the families who lost their men to war, spurred on by their governments’ propaganda to demonsrate their loyalty to their nations, to explore and fight alongside their friends. this deeper subtext of his character never really turns up again outside of a slight reworking in “tales”, not even in memoirs, but I do think shades of it are evident in his troubled personality in “island/at sea”. (it’s also noted that tove’s father was.. difficult after his time at war, and had quite a temper. I think the same influences can be seen in a lot of fictional fathers around these generations).

also '90s pappa tried to invent the dishwasher for mamma's birthday to make her life easier, and then helped plant a field of flowers in her image when he wasn’t able to, so you know he's done nothing wrong in his life ever

tl;dr uh book!pappa is a deceptively simple father figure on the surface with an interesting subtext and inspiration behind him which actually deconstructs the image of the powerful patriarch who got absolutely bungled in the new cartoon and I don’t like him there.

[fandomlurker]

A Ponderous Rewatch: Bubba Bo Bob Brain and Cameo

Can I just say that I think I’m somehow getting worse at keeping the screenshot count down?

Neither the cameo nor the main episode in this post are animated by TMS, so that’s not the reason for the surprisingly high screenshot count. However, the regular episode is animated by Wang Film Production, who are the same folks that animated the very first PatB segment and have done most of the episodes I’ve covered so far, including the previous one. I can tell they’ve gotten a better handle at animating our main duo in the skit we’re looking at today, especially Brain. Wang Film Production is no TMS, but they’ve gotten very, very good at expressions. They’ve also seemed to settle into a rounded and soft design for Brain, something that they’re kind of known for among fans if I recall correctly. Pinky can still be a little…off at this point in time, though.

Moving on, the cameo that we’re starting with is animated by Akom Film Productions. They’re the folks who usually do the animation for the Chicken Boo and Goodfeathers episodes, and they usually do a pretty good job with those characters. As far as our mouse duo go, though, Akom has only done “Opportunity Knox” so far. You know, the one with the oddly nightmarish Brain close-ups. Thankfully we get none of that since it’s only a short bit.

So yes, onto the cameo in “Noah’s Lark”!

So this is actually a Hip Hippos episode, but luckily we don’t have to deal with them at all right now. The premise is the story of Noah’s Ark, obviously, but the character of Noah is done as a parody of the stand-up comedian Richard Lewis, who was somewhat popular in the 80s. The most modern and notable media he’s been involved in that people on Tumblr might know him from (or at least, what I think folks here might recognize, it can be a little hard to gauge that since both millennials and gen z folks are the main demographic of this site) are Robin Hood: Men in Tights where he played Prince John, and Curb Your Enthusiasm where he plays himself.

Noah is rounding up two of every animal to go onto the ark (which is a popular depiction of how the story goes, but is actually false: it’s supposed to be seven male and female pairs of “clean” animals of each species and one pair of “unclean” animals of the same species, but that’s as far as I’m going into that topic). He’s nearly finished the list and has just been mauled by the wolverine pair, and…

“Lab mice?...”

The fact that he’s specifically asking for a pair of lab mice raises a lot of questions that I don’t think we have time to unpack.

The pair of lab mice that he gets is, of course, Pinky and the Brain.

And Pinky is, for the very first time in the series, crossdressing, presumably to pass as a female mouse so he and Brain can survive the great flood by boarding the ark.

…This is also a lot to unpack.

“Check!” they both exclaim, although Pinky does it in a very deep voice for some reason.

Wow, look at the surprise and then hostile suspicion on Noah’s face there!

Their outfits are very 1950s, with Brain even carrying a suitcase. Anachronisms aside, these two really went all out for the “we are a normal, heterosexual pair” ruse, didn’t they? Not only is Pinky in a dress and a blonde wig, but Brain even put on a little bowler hat. Why did he feel the need to do that? Did he feel left out of dressing up otherwise? Was he afraid he wouldn’t look “manly” and hetero enough without it? I have so many questions…

“Whew! These pantyhose are killing me, Brain!”

Wow, for once it’s Pinky physically hurting Brain, even if it’s a relatively minor tug on the ear.

“I think I prefer knee-highs…”

…Pinky, you’re not even wearing pantyhose. What the hell are you talking about?

Assuming that this is just the result of an animation oversight (which, honestly, I’m certain it was), we now know that his disguise went so over-the-top as to include pantyhose which Noah wouldn’t normally see…and also it’s a type of pantyhose that Pinky doesn’t even like wearing, which implies to me that this is something Brain acquired for him.

There is just so much going on in cameos like these if you think about them for even a few seconds.

Also, I agree with Pinky. Knee-high pantyhose are much less uncomfortable to wear.

BONK!

So the mice are allowed to board and the audience is left to think that their little ruse worked, but immediately after the two run off and are out of listening range Noah rolls his eyes and says

“Who am I to judge?”

Heavily implying Noah completely saw through it and let them on anyway. Wow.

That’s the end of their cameo. Who’d have thought that this little scene would be the precursor to Brain having Pinky crossdress to disguise him as Brain’s wife so many times in the series? And who’d have thought that this very first time wouldn’t fool anyone at all?

But now let’s move on to the meat of this rewatch post:

We open to Acme Labs at night, as usual, though I’ve never noticed until now how lonely and eerie the place seems if you ignore our mouse duo.

“Pinky… I believe I have conceived my most brilliant plan to date!”

Oh boy, we have another first for today! Brain is very much a fan of using temporary mind control for his plans. It’s the method he falls back on the most, which is very interesting when you consider his various psychological issues involving having control taken away from him all his life.

“I shall use subliminal mind control to take over the world!”

“…Pinky?”

The hand-on-hip pose here is great.

“Today’s inside story is country mega-star Willie Ray Cypress!”

Uh, Pinky? Considering that this is pretty much the expression you had while looking at Pharfignewton, I am very, very worried about you looking at the Billy Ray Cyrus parody the same way.

“Don’t tell my head, my empty hollow head!~”

“You know I wouldn’t understand!~”

Same, Brain. Same. It’s just like Pinky to enjoy a song as earworm-y as this (not to mention how relevant this parody is to his everyday experience with Brain’s plans), but lord was the real song this is making fun of annoying as hell back in the day. Like, I was a small child at the time this song came out, and I still hated how often this would be played on the radio.

Luckily, Brain pounces on the remote’s off button and puts an end to the nonsense.

But oh, the look of sad betrayal on Pinky’s face is heartbreaking! I’m sorry, sweetie!

“It must be inordinately taxing to be such a boob.”

Heh, Brain said “boob”. /inner six year old

“You have no idea…”

“Pinky, do you know what a subliminal message is?”

“Something you leave on a subliminal telephone answering machine?”

Nice try, Pinky.

“No. It is a recorded message perceived only by the subconscious human mind.”

Two things here:

This diagram bothers me because my mind always interprets the way they’ve drawn the bottom of the cerebellum as the person shutting their eyes extremely tightly.

Brain using his own tail as a pointing stick is very, very cute and I love this detail.

“I have recorded such a message.”

He’s still holding his tail, aaaa!~

“Citizens of the world, you are under my control. You will do whatever I say…”

“Nice mix, but it’s not exactly danceable, is it?”

Oh, Pinky. Only you would sincerely compliment Brain’s incredibly dry mind control message and then immediately point out a flaw that has nothing to do with its purpose. Bless you, you stupid and wonderful little mouse.

I like how Pinky’s interjection startles the hell outta Brain for a moment, too.

“If people heard this message enough times, they would succumb to my control and we could take over the world!”

Notice that despite Pinky being a minor annoyance and despite the fact that Brain claims that everyone will be under his control, yet again it’s still both of them taking over the world.

“What do you think, Pinky?”

And he still wants Pinky’s input. It’s small and scattered and very, very subtle, but in my opinion this is Brain’s most frequent way of showing that he cares about Pinky. Brain likely isn’t even aware that he does it. Pinky might not be aware, either.

“I think I’m getting dizzy and I rather like it! Ahahahahahoo!~”

“Sometimes you hurt my head, Pinky…”

And yet, Brain. And yet…

“The only problem: How to get this message repeated worldwide airplay…?”

Offscreen, Pinky turns the TV back on and startles Brain again, but only for a moment.

Another great pose and expression here: Mildly annoyed, but interested and on the verge of an idea.

“I just adore Willie Ray!”

“I listen to his song twenty times a day!”

I…really don’t know why they chose to have this shot done with Brain walking over the “camera” towards the TV so we get a brief close-up of Brain’s mousey behind. It made me laugh, though, so I thought I’d share.

“Pinky… Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

I’m also kind of obsessed with this brief expression of Pinky’s I unintentionally managed to capture. It’s a bit of a smug, knowing, and yet endeared look. I’m sure it’s completely unintentional on the animators’ part, but I love the idea it gives me of Pinky knowing exactly what Brain’s thinking but purposefully saying something entirely unrelated to playfully tease him.

“Well, I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so.”

To be fair, Pinky, I think burlap chafes everyone. And were you thinking about doing a potato sack race? That’s the only connection to burlap I can think of that would be in any way relevant...

“Country music, Pinky. I will go to Nashville and become the biggest country music star of all time! Everyone will hear my record and my subliminal message and I will take over the world!”

In all honesty, that would probably be easier to do in the early 90s when this takes place since country music wasn’t such a…well, “dead” is a bit of an exaggeration, but country music as a genre is incredibly unpopular nowadays with the occasional notable exception. In the early 90s? Not so much.

“Egad, Brain!”

This is the most enthusiastic swoon I’ve seen and heard from you yet, Pinky.

“Oh! But no, no… It takes people years of hard work to become famous, Brain.”

Well, that or they’re born into a famous family. Or they’re just rich.

“Why, take Kathie Lee Gifford for example: She did community theatre, and—“

I actually can’t find anything via Googling about Kathie Lee doing community theatre before she became famous. She seems to have studied music and drama in university, and had a folk music group in high school, but the only reference to theatre I can find is professional musical theatre in the late 90s.

It’s possible Pinky’s right, though.

BONK!

BRAIN! …Wait, where did you even get that tiny club?

“Stop talking, Pinky, I must think.”

You… Brain, I think I’m starting to see why some fans believe you may be as neurodivergent as Pinky is, but in a different way. I can’t in good faith elaborate on that myself, since I haven’t been diagnosed as such and it would be completely disrespectful of me to do so, but if anyone wants a good little theory on that, try here.

“I have calculated every ingredient necessary to become a country music mega-star. Read me the list, Pinky!”

He’s typing by hopping from one key to another, aww!

Eeeh, the lettering work on that computer is pretty bad, though.

“A cowboy hat.”

“Check!”

“A southern dialect.”

“Check, ya’ll!”

“Nice, Brain.”

The way Pinky says “nice” here reminds me of this meme. Also, aww, Pinky’s always ready with the compliments.

“Working class values…”

“I enjoy beef jerky and the comedy stylings of Gallagher. Check.”

His visible cringe at having to say he enjoys Gallagher is wonderful. I first heard about Gallagher through My Brother, My Brother and Me, but for anyone that doesn’t know, Gallagher is a frankly terrible prop comedian whose most famous act was smashing things on stage (usually fruits of increasing size) with a large mallet that he called the “Sledge-O-Matic”, ending with smashing a watermelon. It was apparently a mildly popular bit of comedy in the south. Does that sound entertaining? No? Yeah, that’s…that’s why Brain is cringing so hard.

“A song.”

“Check!”

A song titled “A Song”. Brain, sweetheart, I think you’re going to need to put in a little more effort than that.

“A name consisting of not less than three words.”

“From now on, I shall be ‘Bubba Bo Bob Brain’. Check.”

I would make fun of him for this name, but honestly it’s kind of genius in its bland simplicity.

“And…a height of at least six feet!”

“Aaa--guebuh…”

Whoops. Forgot about that one, huh?

“Drat!”

“There must be some way for me to increase my height…”

Gee, if only you had a fully operational mechanical human suit just laying around.

“Hmm, let me think…”

“Don’t hurt yourself, Pinky.”

He is trying his best!

“Faster, Pinky! Faster!”

…Why does Pinky have to spin the thread? The whole point of sewing machines like this is that they’re powered electrically, Brain. Are you just making him do this so Pinky feels included?

Oh. Oh no…

Brain’s “WTF?” face is great. He’s surprised and yet not at the same time, because things like this just happen when you have Pinky around.

“You amaze me, Pinky.”

“I do my best…”

A very cute exchange.

So instead of using the mechanical human suit they usually fall back on in times like these (maybe it’s under six feet tall?), the mice instead come up with…this.

“Proceed, Pinky.”

I have to give them some credit, regardless of how ridiculous this is, as sewing denim to make a very bizarrely thin and tall pair of jeans must have been an absolute nightmare.

“Ki-yi-yippee-yi-yo. How do I look?”

I’m getting flashbacks to the similarly deadpan singing of “Camptown Races” from last episode. Brain’s really on a western kick lately, isn’t he?

“Oh, very nice, Brain!”

Your finger-framing may be focused on the back of Brain’s head for some reason, Pinky, but your pupils are definitely pointed a bit…lower.

“It’s ‘Bubba Bo Bob Brain’.”

“You are my manager, Colonel Pinky.”

This is a reference to Elvis Presley’s manager, Colonel Tom Parker, who was honestly quite the bungler when it came to managing Elvis’ career. I honestly don’t think Brain’s making a subtle jab at Pinky’s competency here for once because Brain’s grasp of pop culture he’s not already interested in is surface level at best most of the time.

“You discovered me playing the guitar on the front porch of my humble pig farm. Any questions?”

“Oh, just one: When you farm humble pigs, how far apart do you have to plant them?”

“…If I could reach you, I would hurt you.”

Hey now, you’re the one that asked, Brain.

“But for now, on to Nashville!”

“On to Nashville!”

BONK!

“This is a pain that is going to linger…”

That’s what you get for rolling your eyes at Pinky’s enthusiasm.

No perilous car trips this time! Instead, the boys are getting bus tickets to Nashville.

“Two tickets to Nashville, please.”

“Ooh-wee!~ You’re a tall drink a’ water, aint’cha, darlin’?”

…Ma’am? Excuse me, ma’am? Ma’am, are you flirting with The Brain?

Like, sorry, that “tall drink of water” saying is not just to point out that someone’s tall. It’s specifically for flirting with someone who is tall and gorgeous and a refreshing sight to see, like a tall glass of water on a hot summer day.

This lady is flirting with a mouse on stilt legs.

I know that Brain’s disguises are prone to inexplicably work even when by all rights they shouldn’t, but…

“Actually, I am a lab mouse on stilts.”

Brain does his usual bold and plain truth shtick and I’m a little surprised that he didn’t react to what she said beyond that. Then again, this is Brain and he’s quite terrible when talking to women in general, so maybe we dodged a bullet here.

“…At least he didn’t ask me to pull his finger.”

I’ve worked in retail and food service for years, ma’am, and if that’s the extent of your experience with unpleasant men, consider yourself lucky.

“EGAD, Bibby-boo-bop-Brain! Round trips are so exciting!”

“It’s ‘Bubba Bo Bob Brain’, Pinky.”

“Right! Sorry. Zort!”

Honestly, Pinky’s version is much cuter.

“Concentrate, Pinky, concentrate!”

BONK!

“YES! This pain will definitely be with me a while.”

Brain out here looking like a bad Minecraft texture.

Hello again, Warner Siblings! Gosh, that little fringed western skirt on Dot is cute.

“’The Rowdy Ranch Nightclub’… What are we doing here, Boobie-baa-baa-Brain?”

I checked the official subtitles for this and yes, that is exactly what he mistakenly calls Brain here. We have had both of these two call each other “boob” or some permutation of it this episode.

Pinky and the Brain sure is a show that exists.

“…It’s ‘Bubba Bo Bob’ Brain. And according to statistics, and inordinate number of country western superstars have gotten their start at this very establishment.”

You probably didn’t need me to tell you this, but there’s no Rowdy Ranch Nightclub in real life. There is, however, “The Rowdy Ranch”, uh, ranch in Texas.

“Egad! [gasp] Do you suppose Minnie Pearl performed here?”

“One can only hope…”

Man, Brain, you are really laying the sarcasm on thick this episode. Come to think of it, he’s been slightly more sassy towards Pinky than usual this episode as well. I suppose he’s still sore about the end of the last one. You know, for reasons.

BONK!

At least he’s getting some karmic punishment for it, I guess.

“I am a telephone repairman from this area!~”

This little ditty this man is singing has bugged the hell out of me for quite a while, as it certainly sounds like it’s a reference to something but I never knew exactly what it was referring to until just now thanks to an old Animaniacs Usenet group from way back in the day: It’s a parody of the song “Whichita Lineman” by Glenn Campbell. The writers are really giving it their all with the pop culture references this time.

“When I give the signal, play the subliminal message tape.”

“Right-o, Bippie Bebop Balloola!”

“…Sometimes you frighten me, Pinky.”

Why, though?! Despite it being a mistake it’s honestly a goddamn adorable one. Why must you fear affectionate, innocent, unknowing malapropisms, Brain? Pinky’s still going to do what you told him to.

Anyway, Brain is ushered onto the stage as a newcomer and he’s…not exactly any more eloquent than Pinky was just now.

“Howdy, you all. Here’s a little…ditty I wrote. Hope you enjoy it…you all.”

Here’s the thing: Brain’s not one to get stage fright, and while he’s not the best actor he’s still usually better than this. He was saying “ya’ll” and getting the country-isms perfectly fine beforehand, although he was still doing it in his deadpan Brain way.

Now, suddenly, after hearing Pinky cutely screw up his fake name and going on stage he’s starting to mess up. It’s like Pinky’s error is still in the back of his mind and flustering him enough to throw him off for a bit.

He gets back into the swing of things when he starts singing his song, though.

“I am a lab mouse, I escaped from my cage

Never had a job, never earned minimum wage.~”

“He ain’t half bad.”

“Ain’t half good, either.”

OUCH. That’s a little harsh. Sure, the lyrics are kinda blah but he’s a decent singer here. Really, it’s just not a genre of music that his voice fits very well.

Also, lady? You’ve got a suspiciously busty doppleganger in the back there. That’s got to be a bad omen for you.

“But you will respect me, YES, once my plan is unfurled!~

You will call me your leader, I’ll be king of the world!~”

Careful, Brain. Your complicated emotional complex is starting to show in those lyrics.

There’s some more nice facial expressions here too. I can’t really capture it with still images, but Brain’s got a very tender demeanor when he sings about being king of the world.

“Now, Pinky!”

…I just noticed that Pinky’s wearing a completely different outfit here at the nightclub than he was when boarding the bus to get to Nashville. He was previously in an all-white colonel outfit and now he’s in a more generic yet very sweet cowboy get-up. Did you make yourself an entire wardrobe, Pinky?

Another minor detail is that while Pinky’s cowboy hat is a generic tan colour (although before, it was white), Brain’s hat is completely black, which as per western film traditions marks him as a clear villain.

You and I know he’s not really a villain and is, at worst, an anti-villain…but I thought this was worth pointing out anyway.

“Citizens of the world, you are under my control. You will do whatever I say.”

I love how he does this completely unneeded strum on his guitar in the middle of his subliminal message. It's for the drama!

“Buy my record and listen to it twenty times a day.”

Corporations be like…

Who am I kidding? Corporations nowadays would have you pay a fee monthly to have a song on your phone playlist and you would never really own a copy.

“Let’s buy his record…”

“And listen to it twenty times a day…”

Lady, that doppleganger is still over there. Do you need a distraction while you sneak out the back?

This smug lil’ jerk. Gotta love him, though.

And so Brain’s cassette tapes fly off the shelves at record speed.

Man. Cassette tapes. I feel so fuckin’ old…

“I don’t know ‘bout ya’ll, but I can’t get enough of Bubba Bo Bob Brain. Let’s hear it again!”

JFC, that spittoon. Blegh! And just what do you need that rope for?!?

“Well, he’s the hottest thing to hit Nashville since my mama’s jalapeno grits! Here’s Bubba Bo Bob Brain!”

Having just recently learned what exactly “grits” is, I am very disturbed by the idea of jalapeno grits.

“I’m your biggest fan! What d’you say to that?”

Hi, Dolly Parton! I’ve gotta say that the animators nailed the caricature of 90s Dolly here pretty well. She’s instantly recognizable, unlike some other celebrity parodies Animaniacs does. It’s not just because of Dolly’s, uh…most renowned physical characteristics, either. That’s a very Dolly Parton smiling face.

Not much to say here other than that Dolly’s a sweetheart of a woman, from what I know about her, especially for a celebrity. She’s a staunch supporter of Covid relief and Black Lives Matter as well.

That said, she’s sadly—both in the 90s and now—most well known for…

“I’d say puberty was inordinately kind to you.”

BRAIN!

Well, yeah. That.

I guess now you can see what I mean about Brain not being very good at talking to women. Like, he’s definitely not ogling her here. In fact he’s just kind of…stating something he’s noticed and looking absolutely done with this whole celebrity thing. But Brain you don’t just make a joke like that about a woman’s bust size no matter how deadpan you do it, you ass!

“Haha, go on.”

She takes it well, though, just like Dolly seems to in reality.

Still, though! Brain, you retroactively deserved all those run-ins with doorframes.

Continuing on the buxom southern women thing this episode has decided to run with (seriously, what’s going on here?), we now have a brief parody of a Hee Haw skit.

“Hahahahaha!”

“Hey, Bubba Bo Bob Brain, I just got back from France!”

“How’d you find it?”

“I used a map.~”

“Hahahahaha!”

Yeah, that’s an accurate depiction of Hee Haw style humour.

“And the Country Tune Award for best male vocal goes to…”

“Bubba Bo Bob Brain!”

Here we have Garth Brooks and Crystal Gayle emceeing this awards ceremony. I had to look up who these two were supposed to be, though, since the caricatures are pretty vague this time.

“EGAD! YIPPEE! Narf! Ah hahahahahaha!”

Aww, he’s so happy for Brain! And oh, is that yet another outfit I see? And a much more appropriately sunshine-y yellow and flamboyant one at that! Pinky really went all-out for this.

Again with the tongue hanging out too, except this time it’s more understandable.

“You’re embarrassing me, Pinky.”

And you’re continuing to be a jerk, wow. Someone needs a nap or something.

“Pardon my effervescence, but your accolade is more than any bucolic mouse merits.”

“What’s he sayin’?”

“I don’t know.”

Yes, Brain just used the word “effervescence”, much like in that one Tumblr Twilight meme. To those reeling from the fact that this compares Edward to Brain via their shared pretentiousness: You’re welcome.

Also, a Brain-to-common English translation: “Pardon my bubbly enthusiasm, but your award is more than any countryside mouse deserves.” Would that have been so hard to say, Brain?

“…I’d like to thank my mama and Elvis.”

I wouldn’t thank Elvis. He was an asshole. But that’s probably not wise to say at a 90s country music award show, so I guess it’s understandable.

“Oh, how nice!”

“Well isn’t that nice!”

“I’m outside the Grand Ol’ Opry, where tonight’s concert featuring country music sensation ‘Bubba Bo Bob Brain’ is being televised worldwide.”

“In two words: Bubba is hot!”

I… That’s twice in this episode where a human woman thinks a tiny, big-headed mouse on stilts is hot.

Furries, come get these poor, confused women.

“You gotta know how to cut ‘em

Know how to shuffle

Know how to deal the cards, before you play Fish with me.~”

Hello, Kenny Rogers. I only know the song parodied here, “The Gambler”, again through “My Brother, My Brother and Me” and the long and hilarious conversation about it.

It’s kind of weird to have a song that was made famous by Rogers in 1978 sung like it’s a recent hit in an early 90s awards show, but ehh. Maybe the shelf life of hit country songs is a lot longer than songs of other genres.

And then you die in your sleep~

“Do you realize what will happen if the world hears my song just one more time?”

“An angel will get its wings?!”

If only, Pinky.

“NO, Pinky!”

I think all this country stuff is really getting on Brain’s nerves. He’s being snappy and irritable and lashing out an abnormal amount ever since arriving in Nashville, and there’s not a lot of joy in the minor successes he’s had so far. Like, compare Brain smiling and praising Pinky for his work during the alien encounter spoof they did together, the last episode with Brain cheerfully singing to himself when he was certain he’d win the race…to now where he’s yelling at Pinky for minor mistakes that no one but himself is aware of and being joyless and faking pleasantries and rolling his eyes at the country stars he’s surrounded by. This mouse is crabby as all hell, and I don’t think it’s just because he finds the whole country western thing stupid and below him. This is a mouse who’s done and will continue to do degrading things to achieve his goal of world domination without this much jerkishness.

I think he’s still fuming about the whole Pharfignewton and Pinky thing, and the current plan being a very rural, country-focused plan like the last one with the Kentucky Derby is just exacerbating it by reminding him of it. Like, you don’t even have to take it in the gay way I am and instead take it in a “how dare that goddamn horse take the complete attention of my friend/world domination partner away from me and my plans, this sucks and I can’t believe Pinky’s just being his usual dumbass self like everything is fine and the same” sort of way.

But the gay way makes way more sense, fight me.

…Okay, don’t fight me, I’m tired and old and I really don’t want to get in internet fights about cartoon mice.

“My subliminal message will take permanent hold, and the world will be under my control!”

Ooof! We’re back down to “my” control and not “our”. Jeez, Brain. You really are spiraling right now, aren’t you? Your attitude has quickly devolved from the beginning of this episode...

“Oh, that.”

And dang, even Pinky’s enthusiasm is starting to get deflated.

“Now, do you remember what you have to do?”

“Yes. I need to make a dental appointment. I have horrible plaque buildup!”

Pinky, you do realize that unlike a regular, non-sapient mouse you can just brush your teeth, right?

“The tape, Pinky, the TAPE!”

“Oooh, right! When you give the signal, I play the tape.”

“And now, I’d like to introduce…”

“This is it, I’m on.”

“Good luck, Booba Bip Bop Brain!”

Folks, I swear to you that I tried to get a decent screencap of Pinky slapping Brain to figure out if he slapped his back or his ass and for the life of me I could not get it. The slap goes by just that fast and I’d honestly have to go frame by frame if I wanted to get it, but my video player will not go that slow.

Either way, Brain is certainly startled by the contact but is fixated more on the continued mangling of his fake name.

“How many times do I have to tell you, my name is--!”

Uhh, Brain? Getting a liiiittle close there.

“—Bubba Bo Bob Brain!” exclaims Kenny Rogers. And oh boy are these screencaps exploitable. Again, you’re welcome.

“Yee-haw! Let’s start this hootenanny!”

Better than last time you came out on stage to sing at a show, at least.

This time the crowd even sings along with him, and they’re not even hypnotized yet. Much better.

“Now, Pinky!”

“You are under my control, you will do whatever I say…”

“I will do whatever he says… Whatever he says… Whatever he says… Whatever he says…”

A confusingly consistent detail here: Every woman in the crowd has swirly red hypnotized eyes and every man in the crowd has swirly green hypnotized eyes. Why? Who knows!

“Way to go, Blubber Boo Bean Brain. Narf!”

Heh, that hand flip.

It looks like Pinky is trying hard to suppress his verbal tic here for some reason? Or maybe he’s just realized that he’s messed up the name again and is cringing in anticipation of Brain yelling at him? Either way, poor guy… You really don’t deserve any of what’s coming.

And what’s coming? Well, given Brain’s heightened pissy attitude and his mental issues with not having things go exactly the way he wants them to, plus his obsessive need this episode to correct Pinky on this one thing that doesn’t need to even be addressed because no one else hears it, plus other repressed emotions…

“Do me a favour and forget my name. While you’re at it, forget you ever knew me!”

Holy shit.

…Now you fucked up, Brain. Now you fucked up.

Man, I hate the one thick facial hair on the dude in the middle. It’s so unsettling.

“Hey, who’s that skinny guy on stage?”

“Who is he?”

“Get him off!”

“Boo!”

“We wanna see someone famous!”

Yup. Look at what you did. You messed this up all because you were having a temper tantrum about Pinky messing up your stupid false name. You hang that head in shame. And you apologize to Pinky.

Later...

“Tonight’s inside story: A complete unknown somehow made it on to the stage at the Grand Ol’ Opry.”

“…Turn that off, Pinky.”

You know what? Keep it on for a bit, Pinky. Let Brain wallow in this humiliation just a bit more. He needs to have the lesson set in.

“I’m trying to concentrate on a better plan for tomorrow night.”

“Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night?”

“Same thing we do every night, Pinky:”

“Try to take over the world!”

Hey wait just a minute! You can’t just reuse this excellent ending from “Win Big” on this episode! Brain doesn’t yet deserve to get back to being cocky and determined after being such an ass!

Ahh well. He does get better, folks, I promise. This is just a rough patch. Brain is… He’s going through some things, I think. He’s not processing his emotions in a healthy way and it’s really coming back to bite him.

Listen, I understand this whole thing with Brain being extra grumpy and hostile after the whole Pinky dating Pharfignewton thing is largely coincidence. We don’t actually know what order these episodes were made in, after all, and the Animaniacs writers were not big on continuity.

Here’s the thing, though: I still find it fascinating that these episodes were aired one after the other…especially with a random cameo with Pinky and Brain disguised as a married couple in between. It makes for the beginning of a strange sort of arc that occasionally reminds us that, hey, these two mice are a duo and something is amiss when that duo is broken up or there is a strain put on that relationship.

I’ve read that after a while, network executives at the time tried to push for these mice to settle down and have families and for the skits and the eventual spin-off to largely abandon the whole world domination thing. They wanted it to be more sitcom-like to rival and imitate shows like The Simpsons.

That obviously doesn’t work. It can’t work. The writers, especially Peter Hastings, very much pushed back against the idea. When you have a duo of characters who fit together and play off one another so well, when the basic premise of a story is of a pair of characters working together to achieve a goal, and when those characters just mesh so perfectly and basically complete one another…trying to add another main character just puts the entire story completely out of wack and/or changes it into something unrecognizable. You can add reoccurring characters off to the side, sure. You can have a nemesis or two pop up and return every now and again. But with something like Pinky and the Brain where the main story is a small pair against incredible odds working towards a singular goal, disrupting that core relationship is going to cause a domino effect that will ruin the whole thing.

All this to say that I like this approach that’s going on here much more, even if it was completely unintended by the creative team: There is the element added of Pinky, off-screen, dating someone. It’s not something that’s brought up a lot and whenever it is brought up, Brain is irritated. We’ve seen at the end of the last episode where this development was introduced that Brain is unusually snappy, and now in the next episode he continues to be angry more often than he was before. It’s a more subtle and smooth way of seeing how these characters react if something or someone threatens to come between them, in a way that doesn’t immediately break the entire premise to pieces. Of course, it helps that Pharfignewton is…largely absent for all this and is only brought up every now and again. It’s not a perfect way to explore this kind of thing, but it’s preferable when compared to something like Pinky, Elymra, and The Brain.

However, after this episode Brain’s temper begins to de-escalate, and we won’t pick back up on this accidental “arc” for a few episodes. So to folks who are maybe a little bit bummed out about his behaviour here: don’t worry. We’re getting quite the breather next time with a very odd alternate universe skit courtesy of the Warner Siblings  messing around with character placement, as well as an entire Animaniacs episode devoted to a Pinky and the Brain skit…fantasy style!

[wondroussimmer-blog]

GET TO KNOW ME-

Basically, no one actually tagged me in this, but I thought i’d give it a go anyway seeing as this is a new blog and you guys can get to now me a bit, so I tag anyone who sees this and also wants to have a go...

________________________________________________________________

1. What is your full name? I’m not putting my last name on here, but my first name is Maja (Miya) 2. What is your nickname? I don’t really have one 3. Birthday? January 1st 4. What is your favourite book series? I don’t really read book series’ 5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Not 100% sure, I don’t believe in the sort of ghosts you see in films, but I think I believe our loved ones stay with us in some way. As for aliens, idk, we can’t be the only life but idk.  6. Who is your favourite author? I find the fault in our stars quite overrated, but i’d say John Green because some of his others are my favourites! 7. What is your favourite radio station? BBC Radio 1 8. What is your favourite flavour of anything? this is such a weird question, how can you have a favourite flavour for everything? but if it’s sweet, definitely strawberry! 9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? Again, weird question, but i use so many words for this, my most used are probably lovely and amazing 10. What is your current favourite song? this changes alll the time, but right this minute it’s probably sunflower by post malone and swae lee 11. What is your favourite word? is this a thing? 12. What was the last song you listened to? vacation by hippo campus 13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? big mouth, orphan black, queer eye, dexter 14. What is your favourite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? the breakfast club or mean girls probably 15. Do you play video games? only the sims 16. What is your biggest fear? probably the death of people close to me, and in the future not being able to have children 17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? probably that i’m a friendly person  18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? i’m v insecure 19. Do you like cats or dogs better? DOGS... always dogs! 20. What is your favourite season? autumn/winter 21. Are you in a relationship? yes 22. What is something you miss from your childhood? having way more friends and barely any responsibilities 23. Who is your best friend? my boyfriend 24. What is your eye colour? blue 25. What is your hair colour? brown 26. Who is someone you love? my boyfriend and family 27. Who is someone you trust? my boyfriend and closest family 28. Who is someone you think about often? okay wow, so much variety in these answers but the same as the previous two answers 29. Are you currently excited about/for something? christmas and my birthday 30. What is your biggest obsession? probably sims 31. What was your favourite TV show as a child? Probably Tracy beaker or that’s so raven  32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? my boyfriend 33. Are you superstitious? only slightly 34. Do you have any unusual phobias? cracking knuckles, moths (but only indoors), realistic looking mannequins and gas masks... so not much 35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? behind, every single time 36. What is your favourite hobby? playing sims, graphic designing, video editing 37. What was the last book you read? The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat by Oliver Sacks 38. What was the last movie you watched? Muppet’s Christmas Carol 39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? I play a bit of guitar and can play the mr bean theme song on piano if that counts 40. What is your favourite animal? dogs 41. What are your top 5 favourite Tumblr blogs that you follow? I definitely have more than 5  42. What superpower do you wish you had? be able to teleport and go invisible  43. When and where do you feel most at peace? probably at home with my boyfriend 44. What makes you smile? sorry if this is becoming a boring answer... but my boyfriend! also my dog :) 45. What sports do you play, if any? I don’t at the moment, but I have done tennis, dance (ballet, tap and modern), swimming, karate, speed skating and netball 46. What is your favourite drink? water... how boring ik 47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? Last month, I made my boyfriend a scrap book as one of my boyfriend’s presents for our anniversary and wrote some letters as part of it  48. Are you afraid of heights? not if it’s a secure height 49. What is your biggest pet peeve? I have wayyy too many and so many grammatical ones, I absolutely hate when people incorrectly use was and were, so if someone said ‘we was going’, I think it’s quite an essex thing but I hateeee it, I can’t stand bad grammar, but also slow walkers, people who walk through the door without looking behind them to hold the door open for people behind, other drivers not indicating, people that have to be louder than everyone else, people that chew with their mouths open... basically I have a lot and this list could go on and on and on 50. Have you ever been to a concert? I’ve seen all time low, the 1975, imagine dragons, sunset sons, ed sheeran and paramore in concert so far and i’m seeing panic! at the disco in march which i’m MEGA excited about!!! 51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? vegetarian 52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? This would change all the time, it went from radio dj, to dancer, to teacher when I was really young, then architect when I was a teenager, and now it’s clinical psychologist which i’m slowly working towards 53. What fictional world would you like to live in? I’ve not got a clue 54. What is something you worry about? EVERYTHING! I get a lot of social anxiety, so basically whenever i’m out of the house i’m worrying about absolutely everything and it’s the worst and gets me super down, so yeah, love that 55. Are you scared of the dark? okay so I don’t like leaving the dark, i’m fine being in the dark but I hate when i’m home alone and have to turn the lights off in the living room, kitchen and hall to go to bed... if that makes sense 56. Do you like to sing? i’m someone that, at home, is constantly singing, and when it’s only my boyfriend around, if one of us says a sentence that can in some way relate to a song, i’ll immediately sing it, but I suck so I won’t ever sing in public 57. Have you ever skipped school? in school I faked being ill a few times to get off of school, but in uni i’ve skipped way too many lectures over the past 3 years 58. What is your favourite place on the planet? I absolutely adore Spain, but also Belgrade (i’m half Serbian) 59. Where would you like to live? If not my current home town, i’d love to one day live somewhere like Norway or Sweden 60. Do you have any pets? yep, i’ve got a french bulldog 61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? I wake up pretty early, but I hate to start the day early 62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? sunsets. 63. Do you know how to drive? Yep 64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? the sound of headphones but I normally use earbuds 65. Have you ever had braces? nope, thank god 66. What is your favourite genre of music? this really ranges from charts, to indie rock, to ‘former emo kid’, to early 2000s r&b, to musical theatre 67. Who is your hero? probably my boyfriend 68. Do you read comic books? no 69. What makes you the most angry? as we’ve already gathered, I have a lot of pet peeves, so a lot! 70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?a real book! 71. What is your favourite subject in school? I currently study psychology which has been my favourite subject since A levels, but during GCSEs I enjoyed maths  72. Do you have any siblings? 1 younger brother 73. What was the last thing you bought? some christmas presents for my boyfriend’s cousins 74. How tall are you? 5ft4 75. Can you cook? yes 76. What are three things that you love? spending time with people I love, travelling, collecting photos  77. What are three things that you hate? busy places, cheats, confrontation 78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? I actually barely have any so this is kind of hard to answer 79. What is your sexual orientation? straight 80. Where do you currently live? England 81. Who was the last person you texted? my mum 82. When was the last time you cried? I’m not actually sure, which is funny because I cry all the time and super easily 83. Who is your favourite YouTuber? I have so many: in terms of sims: lilsimsie, urbansims, sophsims, simkim, plumbella, in terms of lifestyle: louise pentland, in terms of fashion and beauty: samantha maria, tati westbrook, busybee carys, patricia bright, antonio garza, and others: shane dawson, sarah baska, kendall rae, jaackmaate, and loads more! basically, if i’m not on tumblr, i’m on youtube, if i’m not on youtube i’m playing sims, and if i’m not on sims i’m on tumblr... 84. Do you like to take selfies? rarely 85. What is your favourite app? any social media  86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? fab 87. What is your favourite foreign accent? Australian and Scottish 88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? I have so many but I won’t bore you with another long list, so just a few: Sweden, South Africa, Iceland and Canada 89. What is your favourite number? 1 90. Can you juggle? no 91. Are you religious? I was baptised but don’t really consider myself religious 92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? both as interesting as the other 93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? not really 94. Are you allergic to anything? no 95. Can you curl your tongue? yep, one of my weird ‘party tricks’ is I can actually curl it 180 degrees 96. Can you wiggle your ears? no 97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? not as often as I should 98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? probably the forest 99. What is your favourite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?my dad probably gives the best life advice but there’s too much to put here   100. Are you a good liar? It depends 101. What is your Hogwarts House? Hufflepuff 102. Do you talk to yourself? All the time 103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? I N T R O V E R T, i’m so introverted to the point I hate it but seriously struggle to change it 104. Do you keep a journal/diary? no but I have in the past 105. Do you believe in second chances? it depends 106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Hand it in 107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? It depends 108. Are you ticklish? VERY 109. Have you ever been on a plane? manyyyy times 110. Do you have any piercings? nope, I have but not anymore 111. What fictional character do you wish was real? no idea  112. Do you have any tattoos? nope 113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? I’m really not sure 114. Do you believe in karma? to an extent, but at the same time bad things seem to happen to good people, sooooo 115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? neither 116. Do you want children? yes 117. Who is the smartest person you know? my cousin 118. What is your most embarrassing memory? omg my whole life is filled with embarrassing memories that I seem to always remember at the most inconvenient times or when i’m about to go to sleep that just haunt me out of nowhere...fun 119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? yes 120. What colour are most of you clothes? black or white 121. Do you like adventures? yep 122. Have you ever been on TV? no 123. How old are you? 20 - nearly 21 124. What is your favourite quote? not really sure. 125. Do you prefer sweet or savoury foods? sweet

[rauliskafan]

A Little Lesson in Royalty

Authors’ Note: Happy Tuesday, terrific readers!!! Did anyone else think that Violetta might want to watch the Royal Wedding??? @vintagemichelle91 and I sure did!!! Read on to find out what went down!!! Enjoy!!!

           “Papi? Papi?”

           Turning away from Natalia, blinking a few times so his eyes could adjust to the dim light, Rafael slowly made out the form of Violetta standing beside the bed.

           “Muñequita?” he asked through a yawn as he ran one hand over his face. “Are you alright?”

           “Course I alright, Papi!” she assured him. “Why would you think I not?”

           Shaking his head and sitting up slowly, Rafael looked to his alarm clock. Four o’clock? Could that be right?

           “Violetta,” he started, trying to keep his voice low at the sound of Natalia stirring within the sheets. “Do you see how early it is?”

           “Was no problem getting me up all early when you wanted to make egg soup,” Violetta challenged, and he bit down on his lip. The poor attempt at poached eggs and the would-be Mother’s Day breakfast was best left forgotten.  

           “True,” he had to agree, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “But why are you---?” His speech stopped short, and he flicked on the nearest lamp, his eyes now clearly making out his daughter in all her…

           “Violetta, what are you wearing?” 

           Was this a dream? How else to explain the little girl in a lace skirt adorned with pink hearts, a garment usually reserved for her days of dress up? The sequined top was a new touch and… was that one of the twins’ blankets? Made to look like a cape? And what of the feathers and faux flowers piled so high atop her head?

           “Violetta…?”

           Gently taking hold of her shoulders, Rafael narrowed his eyes and examined the attempt at a makeover. No doubt she had made her way into her mother’s blushes and eye shadows. Smiling a little despite the early hour, he felt that Natalia should see this style best described as clown-chic when the mattress shifted

           “Is something wrong?” Natalia murmured, stretching up slowly, blinking quicker and letting out a little laugh when she saw their daughter.

           “Oh, sweet pea!” she said. “What did you do?”

           “My question exactly,” Rafael replied with another yawn as he leaned back to peck his wife’s cheek. “Morning.”

           “So early in the morning,” Natalia said, scooting a little closer to his side. “Violetta. You’re certainly… fancy.”

           Spying Natalia out of the corner of his eye, they shared an amused glance. Rafael raised his shoulders and started to speak when Violetta let out a heavy sigh.

           “Mami, Papi, please don’t tell me that you forget what day this is.” 

           Again, Rafael simply shrugged, the hour too early to remember much of anything when Natalia let out a small cry and clapped her hands together.

           “Of course,” she started. “We said we’d watch the wedding!”

           “Wedding?” Rafael echoed. “Who’s getting hitched?”

           “Papi, it’s the prince and the girl from the lawyer show. The one you call impossible.”

           “Think the word was improbable, muñequita,” he corrected her.

           “Atticus, don’t be such a killjoy,” Natalia said. He relaxed into the feel of her fingers sketching soothing circles into his back. But still he arched one eyebrow.

           “Like there’s any way that kid would be allowed to pass the bar let alone practice after the stunt he pulled,” Rafael argued.

           “It’s all artfully done,” Natalia fired back. “And there’s nothing wrong with losing yourself in a flight of fancy now and then.”

           “I still say that---”

           “Can you please talk about whether or not you understand the TV show later!” Violetta exclaimed, jumping up a bit and causing the flowers and feathers on her head to nearly topple over. Natalia reached forward first to steady the creation before cupping Violetta’s chin in her hand.

           “Sweet pea, we are more than happy to watch the wedding with you,” Natalia began. “But all anyone’s going to be doing is arriving for the next few hours. We didn’t need to get up this early for that.”

           “But… but I don’t want to miss any of it,” Violetta said, her little lip trembling ever so slightly. “I… I got all dressed up.”

           That explained the cape and the skirt and the sparkles. Even her heavily painted cheeks… which Natalia took some steps towards remedying by plucking a tissue from the box so that the rouge was not so fiery, the lips not quite so shiny.

           But as for the hat…?

           “I… I made a fascination and everything!” Violetta declared, on the verge of total tears when Rafael realized what she was saying and pulled her onto his lap.

           “It’s called a fascinator, muñequita,” he said. “Long-storied piece of head wear. Although these days it’s really just a clip and---”

           Going quiet when he saw Natalia’s soft glare and heard the click of her tongue, Rafael nodded his head and lifted Violetta’s sorrowful face with one finger.

           “And yours is the most beautiful one that I’ve ever seen,” Rafael assured her with a quick kiss to her temple. “Tell you what; how about you let Mami wash you face and then we can all get into bed and watch the bride and groom and all the rest. Deal?”

           He offered his hand and totally expected her shake when she leaped from his lap and hauled a mass of pink plush wearing the twins’ other blanket and her own headpiece into the room, a few strands of costume beads twirled tight around each stuffed ear and descending downward.

           “Harold gets to watch, too!” Violetta squealed as she helped her hippo friend to the bed… and settled her against Rafael’s pillow.

           “Okay!” she continued. “I let Mami wash me up, and then we do this thing!”

           Laughing again, Natalia carried Violetta to the bathroom as Rafael fell back to the bed and locked eyes with Harold’s dark, shiny pupils.

           “Were you on board with all this?” he asked, letting one strand of beads fall between his fingers. Even as Harold said nothing, Rafael still took pity on the hippo and freed her ears, letting the beads come to rest around her neck as he patted her face.

           “That has to feel better,” he said. “Remind me to never get your best friend a puppy.” He tilted Harold’s head forward and then back again as Violetta emerged, her face scrubbed clean, and her fascinator far more firmly pinned into place.

           “I do feel better, Papi!” Violetta said as she hopped up on the bed. “How do I look?”

           “Pretty as a princess,” Rafael said, cuddling her close as he looked to Natalia and extended his free arm.

           “Mami?” he said. “Come back to bed.”

           “No,” Natalia said. “Not just yet.”

           “What? Where are you going?” Rafael asked.

           “To peek in on the twins and put some coffee on,” she said with a wink. “Like you don’t need a cup, Atticus.”

           He couldn’t argue with that and mouthed a silent thank you when Violetta bolted from his arms and stood tall at the foot of the bed.

           “Mami!”

           “Yes, sweet pea?”

           “You got anything English for breakfast?” Violetta asked.  

           Rafael watched his wife search her mind for several seconds before she snapped her fingers.

           “Just the thing,” Natalia promised with a kiss. “Go. Watch the wedding with Papi.”

           Doing as she was told, Violetta scampered back to Rafael’s arms and snuggled into him as they saw quaint streets of far-off shores lined with well-wishers. Never before had Rafael recalled a sun so brilliant beaming in a British sky, and the crowd several people deep waved flags of the empires from both sides of the pond as well as handmade signs in honor of the happy couple.

           “Muñequita?” Rafael asked his suddenly silent daughter. “Are you alright?”

           Nodding, she sat up a little straighter to stare at the screen.

           “It nice how people like them so much,” Violetta said. “It cause everyone knows they be in love forever.”

           He was about to explain how it all could go the other way when Natalia returned with a tray carrying a pot of coffee and a plate of…

           “English muffins?” Rafael asked, even as his stomach growled when he saw the butter and jam so prettily arranged off to the side of the largest plate.

           “I think it fits,” Natalia said, crinkling her nose near to his as she settled back into the bed and handed Violetta a helping of nooks and crannies adorned with raspberry preserves. “Sweet pea?”

           Violetta made a feast of the improvised treat and pressed the second half close to Harold’s snout. Only then did she pat her tummy at the top of her fancy skirt.

           “Amazing, Mami!” Violetta said. “You got it just right!”

           Unable to disagree, Rafael took a bite of the bits that Harold missed and  sipped some coffee before winding one arm around Natalia’s waist as she sank into his hold.

           “My father says that we Yanks get more excited about this every time than any card-carrying Brit,” Natalia said.

           “Sounds like a bitter man whose name didn’t make its way to the invite list,” Rafael teased back, briefly kissing her lips and nuzzling her neck. A parade of celebrities passed across the screen, their hats of all shapes and sizes. Violetta pointed out her favorites to Harold. She was partial to the former talk show host with the wide brim and her own set of flowers and feathers.

           “That one is lovely,” Natalia agreed. “But I like the girl in the dark green. It’s very elegant.”

           Rafael focused on the statuesque blonde with the simple hat, her skirt adorned with a floral print.

           “You just like the flowers,” Rafael teased as he nudged her side.

           “Don’t you?” Natalia playfully challenged back, and he kissed her cheek, pulling her closer as the crowd inside the chapel continued to grow.

           “This is taking a long time,” Violetta finally admitted with the littlest of yawns, and she inched back, letting her head fall into her mother’s lap.

           “Mind your fascinator,” Rafael gently warned. But it seemed as if she would drift off, her effort to see every second about to fall flat when Natalia gasped.

           “Sweet pea! There she is! Look!”

           Like a shot, Violetta was up on her knees, and Rafael saw the bride in the backseat of a car, riding to her destiny.

           “A boat neck,” Natalia whispered. “Oh, that is so haute couture.”

           “What does that mean, Mami?” Violetta asked.

           “High fashion,” Rafael answered, and Natalia laughed.

           “What?” he challenged. “You’re surprised?”

           “Of course not,” Natalia said. “You pulled that fascinator definition out pretty fast.” He smiled, and Violetta appeared to barely breathe as the car came to a stop. The bride emerged wearing a simple yet bold white frock with a sweeping train.

           “She look like a princess!” Violetta declared, and Rafael started to speak when Ashtonja appeared at the door.

           “Ash!”

           “What’s going on?” the older girl asked.

           “It’s the new princess!”

           Rafael stopped himself from correcting his daughter that the bride was more likely bound to be a duchess as he waved Ashtonja forward and smiled when she took an English muffin and curled up at the foot of the bed.

           “Pretty sure she’s going to be like a countess or something,” Ashtonja said, taking a quick bite of the extra early breakfast.

           “That still spectacular!” Violetta said, and she pointed at the pint-sized flower girls following the trail of silk tulle. “Look how nice! Those girls all her best friends.”

           “Why do you say that?” Rafael asked.

           “Cause that what brides do, Papi,” Violetta said. “They pick only their best friends for the bridesmaids!”

           And he couldn’t help but be enchanted by the idea that his daughter loved a lady who would pick her peers over everyone else in the world for such a big day.

           “Guess her dad really didn’t show,” Ashtonja said when the Prince of Wales took the bride by the hand. Rafael was about to make a cutting comment, when Violetta patted her sister’s arm.

           “Don’t worry, Ash. Papi be there for us when it our turn.”

           The room suddenly seemed to grow dusty, and he leaned forward to kiss both girls, swallowing back his tears with a small smile.

           “Better believe it,” Rafael promised. “But I hope you’re not planning for a wedding tomorrow.”

           “Silly, Papi,” Violetta laughed. “I would have to live with the boy first!”

           Pressing one hand over his mouth, Natalia shook her head, and the family watched the ceremony unfold in all its grandeur. From the music to the sermon, two worlds married into one, all wrapped in a bow proclaiming the power of love above all else.

           As he looked away from the screen to the lovely ladies sitting so close, Rafael was incredibly inclined to agree with the sentiment.    

           “And now they get to go around in a coach!” Violetta yelped. “When I do get married, I want that.”

           Natalia laughed and caught Rafael’s hair between her fingers when he tossed his head back.

           “Better start saving those pennies now, Atticus,” she said. “Your princesas will all want their own royal weddings.”

           Right on cue, the twins began to babble from the nursery, and Natalia started to stand when Ashtonja was on her feet.

           “I got it,” she said.

           “But, Ash, you---”

           “I got to see the best parts,” Ashtonja said.

           “Plus, it’ll be on replay all weekend,” Rafael stated.

           “Exactly,” Ashtonja replied. Rafael couldn’t help but adore her practicality as she left the room that began to grow brighter. One of the horses along the royal route slightly misbehaved, and Violetta held her breath once more until the coverage finally came to an end, only to start over again in the promised loop.

         “That sooo magical!” Violetta said with a contented sigh. Falling back with her arms spread wide, she fell into Harold’s belly and curled close to her hippo with a yawn.

       “Sweet pea?” Natalia asked. “You want to sleep here for a little or---”

        Before she could finish her thought, Violetta answered with the smallest snore, and Rafael just chuckled.  

       “What?” Natalia asked.

       “Like mother, like daughter,” Rafael teased. Playfully slapping his arm, Natalia began to clean up the impromptu breakfast.

       “Let me help,” he said. Together they worked in silence, leaving Violetta to her dreams of coaches and happily ever afters. They started towards the steps, stopping to see Ashtonja making baby talk with the twins. Only when they had the dishes and cups back in the kitchen did Rafael take Natalia into his arms.

          “That first kiss will be hard to top,” she said.

           “Don’t know about that,” he argued.

           “Do you have an opposing argument, counselor?” Natalia sighed, stroking the stubble lining his face.

           “So much better to show you.”

           Meeting her mouth and savoring the feel of her warm body pressing against his, Rafael held her tightly and ran his fingers through her hair, delighting when she lightly raked her nails through his locks, and he happily gazed at her face in all its gorgeous glory.  

           “So, you’re not saying that you wouldn’t have rather ended up on the other side of I do with a princess?” Natalia asked.

           “Duchess,” Rafael said, kissing her again. “Didn’t you hear them confirm it?”

           “I did. And you didn’t answer my question.”

           “I’ll do it now. I ended up with the la princesa más hermosa.”

           He pulled her close to kiss her again, but she stopped short of his lips.

           “Do you still think that?” Natalia asked. “Even now that I’m an old married lady to rival the Queen?” Caressing her face and pressing his brow to hers, Rafael shook his head.

            “I am so in love with you.”

           Giggling, Natalia gave him another kiss, only leaving his touch to whisper close to his ear.

           “You didn’t answer my other question,” she said.

           “What do you mean?”

           “Am I an old married lady now?” Natalia asked.

           Lifting her into his arms and twirling her around the kitchen, Rafael was enchanted by the sound of her laughter before gently setting her down with a wink.

           “Prove me wrong tonight, hermosa,” he challenged.

           “I’ll do my best,” she promised. “As long as we can sneak in a nap beforehand.”

           “Good idea,” he said, looking forward to simply settling back in bed with her by his side, the feel of her warm sighs on his neck and the smell of her hair forever signaling that he had the fairy tale that nothing and no one could ever touch. Forget duchesses or princesses; Natalia was the queen of every breath he took, every dream in his heart come true...

          ...royalty in every way.

Tagging: @thefanficfaerie @dreila03 @minidodds @mrsrafaelbarba @delia26@rafi-esparza @letty-o  @lyssa1385@fortheloveofallthingsraul @mrschiltoncat @sweetsummertime99@obfuscateyummy@morbid-apricots@ullilalla@velveteenb5 @xemopeachx @ scarletrchilton 

[piratethornton]

Pirates of the Clawribbean

Chapter 5: Tortiger

Fandom: Zootopia

[1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10]

Nathan's injured back wasn't the only consequence of the storm; the Black Paw had been blown off course and out of the Bearmuda Triangle. Though somewhat annoyed, Captain Nick Wilde decided to make best out of the situation and bring the ship to Tortiger, a pirate port in the middle of the Clawribbean which was popular with those wanting to sell their wares in exchange for rum, and happened to be close by. The prospect at visiting the famous port cheered up the crew to no end, and they immediately started making plans for when they arrived.

It was the beginning of the second evening after the storm when it came into view. A small island covered with haphazard structures, torches lighting up one by one in response to the creeping darkness. A rocky outcrop next to the island resembled the feline the port was named after, its sunken eyes seemingly following the Black Paw as it crept closer and eventually docked.

It was decided that the crew would take this opportunity to exchange their loot from The Cloverleaf for supplies they would need for their voyage. Chests of silks, spices and rodent-sized clothes were brought up from the cargo hold and carried off ship, Finnick keeping a record of their stock.

Whilst collecting a pile of tiny captain's uniforms (and unable to fight off a twinge of guilt doing so), Judy noticed something on the far side of the hold. From a distance it seemed to be a heap of coloured clothes and pillows, although on closer inspection it looked more like a pile of bodies. Horror gripped Judy for a moment before she realised she couldn't smell anything that would indicate she was currently staring at a stack of corpses. She ventured closer still and saw that they were stuffed dummies of various species, kitted out in pirate outfits.

"Hey, bunny! Exit's this way!"

Judy whipped around to see Bucky waiting impatiently for her. Pushing her recent discovery to the back of her mind for now, she hurried off the ship and handed the clothes to Finnick. After hearing a grunt of acknowledgment from him, she curiously walked a little way towards the pirate village.

Night had fallen, but thanks to the several torches everything was clearly visible. Several mammals were at the port, some also unloading cargo, some making repairs to their ship and others joyfully heading into the village to visit their favourite tavern. The air was full of shouting, singing and crashing, and Judy could swear there was a ferocious sword fight currently in progress just behind the closest building to them.

She jumped when she felt a paw on her shoulder. "Careful," said Honey, gently guiding Judy back towards the rest of the crew. "That's one place you do not want to get lost in."

The cargo was now completely unloaded and the discussion had begun as to who was to stay behind and look after the ship. Finnick was the master at selling high and buying low, so he along with Bobby and Honey would be going to market with their wares. Flash was eager to visit his lady-friend, Yax wanted to check out the newly imported incense and spices, and Nick didn't bother coming up with a reason since he was the captain. That left Bucky and Pronk as the guards, a regular occurrence according to their grumbling. Ben genially offered to take over guarding duties since he had elected to stay behind anyway, but this idea was quickly shot down due to the fact he didn't have the necessary experience to prevent a takeover.

Judy stayed quiet. She didn't believe that she would be allowed to explore, so she started planning how to sneak away without the others noticing. She would have to hide behind one of them, but she also had to wait until Nick left since he would be the one most against the idea. Soon the mammals began to depart one by one either into town or back on to the ship, but to Judy's annoyance the Captain lingered until everyone had left.

They stared at each other for a moment, Nick deep in thought and Judy feeling a little self-conscience. Eventually he closed his eyes and sighed as if he had just resigned himself to something.

"If you promise to stick close to me and not go wandering off..." He looked at her sternly.

Judy's eyes widened with surprise and hope. "You mean...I can go into town?"

"If you promise to not go wandering off," Nick repeated.

"Yes! Yes! I promise!" Judy bounced twice before realising she was acting like a kit. She composed herself and cleared her throat. "Thank you."

Nick raised an eyebrow in amusement. "This way, milady."

Together they walked into the village, the wooden buildings and earthy streets illuminated by the bright orange torches and lanterns. The market place was brimming with activity from mammals of different species buying and selling everything from jewellery, spices and weapons. A little further away were a dozen or so tables, each with a queue of mammals wanting to sign up to join a particular pirate crew. The most popular seemed to be the one represented by a one-eyed rat, who was standing on his table, brandishing his sword and squealing at the top of his voice, listing all the navy ships he had helped sink.

After that they reached the part of town dominated by inns and taverns where the streets were slightly sparser but still just as noisy. As they meandered through the town, Judy noticed that every now and then a mammal would gesture at Nick, whether it be a friendly wave, a curt nod or a hard, cold stare.

"You seem to know a lot of mammals," she commented after a while.

"I know everyone, Fluff," he replied smugly.

"Nick Wilde!"

A vixen stormed up to them, raised a paw and smacked Nick across the face, before walking briskly past them.

"Hey! What was that for?" he shouted after her. Hearing someone else coming towards him, he faced forward again to see another vixen who didn't bother saying anything as she slapped him too.

When she was also out of sight, he rubbed his painful muzzle. "I might have deserved that one." He looked down at the rabbit by his side who was desperately trying to suppress a giggle. He gave her a pointed look and rolled his eyes. "Come on."

He led her to a very large tavern, the faded green and white sign above the door giving the name 'The Drunken Ivories', and they entered the establishment. Most of the customers were rhinos, hippos and elephants, though there were a handful of smaller mammals, too. There was an extremely drunk porcupine sitting on the edge of an enormous chair, nursing a glass and wearing a dopey grin. Obviously the quality of drink here was worth the inconvenient furnishings.

Nick walked confidently right up to the bar and climbed up one of the stools. Judy clambered up the one next to it, managing to sit down just as Nick addressed the bartender.

"Hefton! Missed me?"

The elephant squinted at Nick for a few seconds before smiling broadly. "Ah, Cap'n Nick! Was your secret mission a success?"

"Haven't finished it yet," replied Nick, chuckling.

Hefton's trunk moved inquisitively towards Judy. "Got yourself a new cabin boy?"

"In a way," Nick said with an amused smile.

"I'm Judy," the rabbit said brightly, offering her paw.

"Cabin girl?" Hefton twisted his trunk in surprise, then reached up to tip his hat only to discover his head was bare. He smiled weakly then coughed. "What'll it be?"

"I'll have the usual," said Nick.

"Of course." Hefton bent down to the bottles under the counter, only to come up again a few seconds later. "Which is...?"

"Rum, big guy," Nick answered patiently. They had obviously had this exchange several times before.

"And for the lady?"

Judy's ears pricked in excitement. "I'll have a rum, too."

Nick looked at her narrowed his eyes. "You ever have alcohol before, Cottontail?"

She sat up straighter and crossed her arms. "My family makes cider, and we have port at Christmas."

Nick wasn't reassured by this, but he relented slightly. "Tiny glass," he said to Hefton.

Judy was silently glad with Nick's strictness. The rum was very powerful and she spluttered a little on her first gulp, so she elected to sipping it whilst ignoring the satisfied smirk of the fox sitting next to her.

"Oh, Nick," said Hefton, suddenly. "Almost forgot. A friend of yours was asking about ya not too long ago."

"Really? Which friend?"

"Err...I can't remember. A - er - something someone. Captain Someone?"

Nick sighed very softly. "Do you remember what kind of mammal they were?"

"A sheep," answered Hefton confidently. Then his brow furrowed. "No, an aardvark. Beaver? He weren't that big."

"That narrows it down. You know what he wanted?"

"Uh...no."

Nick sighed again. "Thanks for letting me know." He finished his drink and got off his stool. "See you 'round."

Judy drained her glass, bid Hefton a thank you and goodbye, and followed Nick out of the bar.

"You have any idea who your friend could be?" she asked when she caught up with him.

"Probably someone I owe money."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Do you owe a lot of mammals money?"

"Let's see..." Nick started counting on his fingers. "Yep."

"I guess you could pay some of it off with the money you made from the Cloverleaf."

Nick let out a bark of laughter. "Sure. Let's go from inn to inn handing out all my money. That'll be a great way to spend the evening, and certainly not a complete waste of time."

Judy frowned and turned away. "You don't want debt creeping up on you. Trust me."

Nick looked down at her, then up again as an ocelot marched towards them.

"Hey, Sandy," he greeted, a nervous twinge in his voice.

For the third time that night, Nick received a slap to the face. After cursing at him in her mother tongue, she walked away, her tail thrashing behind her.

Judy couldn't help but let out a sound of mirth at this, and not even Nick's most serious glare could stifle her. Eventually he sighed in defeat. "I didn't bring you along so you could laugh at me."

"Sorry," said Judy, still giggling.

It was very late before the crew was reunited back on the ship. They were all in high spirits and happily recounted to each other their evening activities. Finnick had a successful visit to the market place, Yax was pleasantly humming and Honey had caught up with a friend of hers, a pig medium called Hen Wen who told her to 'Beware', though of what she didn't specify. Bucky and Pronk left without a word as soon as their guarding duties were no longer required, and Honey tried to start a vote to decide whether or not to set off without them.

Hopes for a late morning start were dashed when the two antelopes returned just as the sun was rising, singing loudly and grossly off-key. Judy clamped her hat tightly over ears when they entered the sleeping quarters and stumbled towards their hammocks. The singing devolved into arguing, but thanks to the copious amount of alcohol their energy finally wore off and they passed out, just after mumbling something about 'Boarbossa rumours'.

[rauliskafan]

A Little Lesson in Lost Love Letters

Authors’ Note: Happy Wednesday, wonderful readers!!! Sadly summertime means no new SVU, but @vintagemichelle91 and I have the next best thing!!! Tonight we present the final part of Rafael and Natalia’s trip to Vermont!!! Special thanks to @xemopeachx for inspiring this series of “Little Lessons,” and be sure to check out the first two parts in case you missed them!!! Enjoy!!!

A Little Lesson in Getting Lost

A Little Lesson in Being Found

“Are you awake?”

Turning to her side, Natalia smiled upon finding Rafael’s eyes. Leaning in to the feel of his palm against her cheek, she ran her fingers down the length of his other arm and took his free hand in hers.

“What does it look like?” she tenderly teased.

“Even without my glasses, you look like a million dollars,” he quipped back.

“Hmmm… bet you say that to all the girls,” Natalia responded, easing him to his back and straddling his hips as she stroked his bare chest and peppered his jawline with light, feathery kisses.

“No,” he countered. “Just the pretty ones I happen to be married to.”

“Oh really,” Natalia challenged, her fingers sliding down his sides as she bowed her head, a light stream of air leaving her lips to circle around his naval. “And just how many are there?”

For a second he stayed silent, appearing in deep thought as he laid one hand over hers and released a slow sigh.

“Well let’s see,” he started. “There’s this lovely schoolteacher. But she’s kind of been on a leave of absence.”

“And why is that?” Natalia asked.

“I keep her occupied with… other things.”

“A man of many talents,” she said, kissing his chest until he pressed two fingers under her chin.

“I have yet to hear any complaints,” he continued. “Then there’s the angel on my shoulder. She helps me stay sane... and in my place.”

“That sounds like a full-time job,” Natalia said, reclining against him and tracing his profile with one graceful finger.

“Keeps her on her toes,” Rafael admitted. “Of course, she’s aided by the saucy minx who takes me on vacations and makes me forget whether it’s night or day.”

“Now she sounds like a taskmaster,” Natalia said, grazing a hand over his bulge barely hidden in the mess of sheets.

“Small price to pay when she provides such... services,” he said, lifting his head to consume her lips. Natalia brought his face closer, intensifying the kiss until she giggled against his mouth and fell back with him to the pillows.

“And exactly where do I fit in with your harem, Mr. Barba?” she playfully asked.

“What you, mi hermosa flor?” he innocently said. “Truth be told you put the others to shame when it comes to everything. Thinking of giving you all the titles outright.”

“I don’t know,” she said. “It sounds so tiring.”

“Which is why I’m letting you stay in bed all day,” he said, flipping her over as she laughed, and he started trailing kisses down her neck. Natalia rubbed his arms, his back, and she was ready to linger in the soft sheets until it was time to bid the room farewell and start back to the city---

“Oh!” she cried out at the sound of her phone from the bedside table. “I better---”

“Leave it,” he breathlessly pleaded. “I’m sure it’s nothing that---”

“It’s my mother,” Natalia said, the mood broken as they disentangled themselves from one another, sitting up as she pressed the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

“Mami?”

“Sweet pea!” Natalia said seeing Rafael’s lusty smile shift to fatherly concern out of the corner of her eye. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and leaned closer to listen to the little voice coming from the other end of the line.

“How you doing, Mami?” Violetta asked.

“We’re fine,” Natalia assured her. “Are you all having a good time at the beach?”

“It very fun!” Violetta said. “Yesterday we go on a boat. Nana Alessia get a little sick, so she stay below deck with Hazel and Holly.”

“Are the twins sick, too?” Rafael worriedly asked in a slightly raised voice.

“Hello, Papi,” Violetta said, the sound of her voice all but confirming the fact that she must be rolling her eyes. “No. They babies. Remember?”

“He does,” Natalia said with a kiss to her husband’s cheek as they continued to listen to their daughter’s chatter.

“But me and Ash got to feed the fishys!”

“That sounds like so much fun!” Natalia said.

“It was! And today we buy you some presents.”

“Presents?” Natalia echoed.

“Yes! We get you some taffy and a pretty dish. Don’t worry, Papi; we not forget about you. We get you a coffee cup and the coffee to put in it. You have to make it yourself, but I think you know what to do.”

“It shouldn’t be a problem,” Rafael said, laying his head on Natalia’s shoulder as she kept listening.

“What about you?” Violetta asked. “You having fun, too?” The pair exchanged a knowing glance. Natalia felt her face flush and swallowed hard before she found her voice.

“It’s… it’s lovely up here,” Natalia said while she waggled her eyebrows at Rafael.

“That good!” Violetta declared. “Nana Alessia say you need time for yourselves.”

Smiling at her mother’s wisdom, Natalia nodded her head.

“But we do miss you, sweet pea,” she said. “And we’ll see you soon.”

“Yay!” Violetta said. “And I sorry if I spoil the surprise. But I so excited and I had to tell you.”

“Nothing is spoiled,” Natalia said. “It’ll be a double surprise when we see the gifts up close and in person.”

“It be like Christmas!” Violetta said. “Maybe there be no tree, but we can all still give gifts.”

Suddenly Natalia straightened where she sat and looked to Rafael again.

“Um… yes! Of course we can,” Natalia said as she heard her mother calling out that lunch was ready from another room.

“I need to go eat now,” Violetta said. “But I love you both lots and see you when we all get home.”

“We love you to, sweet pea,” Natalia said as she planted a kiss on the phone.

“Te amo, muñequita,” Rafael said. Upon ending the call, Natalia stood slowly, draped in the sheet and still smiling.

“We can’t go home empty-handed, Atticus,” she said. “I think bed time all the time has to be put on hold for a bit.”

“You’re right,” he said after a moment of silence, rising and beginning to dress. “We’ll have to find someplace where we can buy---”

“How about you take me to where you bought my jar of love notes,” she said, starting to slip into the bathroom when he took hold of her arm.

“Bought, hermosa?” he challenged. “Those were all Rafael Barba originals.” He pulled her close and nearly kissed her when she playfully pinched his cheek.

“And each and every one was more beautiful than the next,” she said. “But did you honestly pull the idea out of thin air?”

He started to object when he relinquished his hold and hung his head.

“I’ll show you the spot, hermosa.”

“Well look who’s back.”

Rafael acknowledged the little old lady who had helped him mend the fence battered by his own stubborn hands, and he nearly spoke when the woman looked to Natalia.

“You must be the missus,” she continued. “Take it he’s out of the doghouse.”

“Oh yes,” Natalia said, holding her husband’s hand tighter. “You have a lovely shop here. So many treasures.”

“Your old man here didn’t even see the half of it,” the woman scoffed. “But he did get a clever idea from yours truly.” Grumbling under his breath, Rafael relaxed when Natalia rubbed the back of his neck.

“He knows a good thing when he sees it,” Natalia said. “Ask his many wives.”

“His many---”

“We’ll just take a peek in the back,” Rafael said, gently tugging Natalia’s arm and pulling her away from the woman’s quizzical stare as his wife kept chuckling.

“Careful,” he cautioned. “I think she’s the type to take me out back with a shotgun if she thinks I’m not on the up and up.”

“Don’t worry, Atticus,” Natalia assured him with a kiss. “I’ll protect you from the withered old woman just over four feet tall.”

“I must have forgotten that wife,” he said as they made their way to a small series of shelves. “The warrior with gardenias in her hair.”

“Guess I’ll have to take over for her, too,” Natalia sighed then scanned the middle shelf and suddenly clapped her hands together. “Atticus, look! Another set of matching tutus!”

She held out the garments, one obviously Violetta’s size and the other much larger. He began to nod his approval when the shopkeeper found them with the potential surprise.

“For your daughters?” she asked.

“This one is,” Natalia confirmed draping the smaller of the garments over her arm. “This one is for our hippo.”

“Your---?”

“A long story,” Rafael said.

“I’m living on borrowed time here,” the woman croaked. “Hardly have all day to hear it.”

Rafael narrowed his eyes and watched the woman shuffle away before looking back to see Natalia with two rattles for the twins and a scarf that she felt sure would perfectly complement Ashtonja’s eyes.

“You’re making fast work of this, hermosa,” he said, affixing his glasses to his face to examine her finds.

“I love our little girls, Atticus. But even Violetta says that we need some time for ourselves.”

When she winked, he was ready to pay the bill and head back to the bed and breakfast. Natalia took one step forward but stopped short as she glanced towards the top shelf.

“Is that a hat to match the scarf?” she asked.

“Same color scheme,” he commented while looking at the bold blues and reds. “Glasses or not I can put an outfit together.”

“Thank the gods of fashion that your sense of style is intact, Atticus. Here. Give me a boost.”

“Maybe we should ask for---”

“It’s fine; I know you won’t let me fall.”

Smiling, he watched her set the other gifts aside and lifted her to the top shelf so she could take hold of the hat.

“Oh it’s absolutely---!”

“Hey! What do you two think you’re doing?”           

A wet cat screeching had nothing on the sound of the old woman’s shrill tones, and as Rafael’s hold faltered, Natalia came tumbling down. Quick to regain his stance, he caught and cradled her in his arms, relieved when she cuddled against his chest, laughing with the hat in hand.

“Got ladders for that type of thing, you damn fool kids,” the old woman scolded.

“It’s my fault,” Natalia said. “My husband is impressionable, and I make him bend to my will.”

Catching his breath, he kissed her cheek, too relieved that she was in one piece to argue, and he steadied his wife on her feet.

Only then did he notice a folded piece of paper caught in the brim of the hat.

“This can’t be an accessory,” he said, unfolding the faded parchment to reveal what looked like a letter in crumpled cursive.

“Was this yours?” Rafael asked as he showed the old woman the page and she turned her nose up in the air.

“Be nice,” Natalia chided. Looking over his shoulder, she started to read the words aloud. “I shall keep the candle burning until you return from the place too far for me to go. The days… the days seem endless, but once we are reunited the world will be as if no time has passed. I long for the instant I see your face again and…”

Her voice trailed off as she turned the paper over in her hand.

“It just ends,” Natalia continued. “Is there another page missing?”

“Nothing missing,” the old woman confirmed. “That there was written by Belle Prosper.”

“Who is that?” Rafael asked.

“No one really. Just a girl who lived in these parts long before your time. And even mine. The story goes that she was to marry this mean fella who everyone thought would die alone. Things changed a heck of a lot with Miss Prosper. But instead of being happy with what he had, guy took off to make his fortune overseas and give her all kinds of splendid things. Perished in a shipwreck for his troubles. She stopped writing that there letter when she got the news.”

“That’s horrible,” Natalia said, and Rafael winded one arm around her waist.

“Oh it gets worse; the girl was so distraught that she threw herself from the peaks just beyond the town. For a while, when I was young, kids used to say that you could hear her wailing in the night for her Atticus and---”

“What was his name?” Natalia asked, freezing against Rafael’s side.

“Atticus Barber. Suppose they would have made a fine couple. But it wasn’t to be. And by now it’s a silly old wives’ tale that no one thinks on much anymore. You ready for me to ring you up?”

Rafael saw Natalia’s face turn to slate and waved the woman off as he sat his wife in the nearest chair.

“I’ll give you a minute,” the old woman said. “But no more climbing all over my furniture.”

He thought he nodded as he fell to his knees, holding Natalia’s hands and waiting for her words, waiting for her eyes to meet his again.

“It’s impossible,” she said.

“You want to tell her that?” Rafael asked.

“No. But Atticus… and Belle---”

“Prosper. Something… someone beautiful who never had a chance to flower… mi hermosa flor.”

Their eyes locked, and he saw her stare starting to fill with tears. Gathering her in his embrace, Rafael rocked Natalia, grateful that she was there and his while her tears spilled down on his neck.

“We were supposed to find this,” she mumbled into his shoulder. “Rafael, I… I want to go to where it happened.”

He was not about to deny her a day trip when his hands were shaking as they purchased the gifts for the girls, and once the presents were returned to their rented room they set off on foot.

“Can you imagine how she must have felt?”

At the spot that the shopkeeper claimed to be the last place where Belle Prosper stood, they looked down at the ragged rocks, and Rafael shuddered as he imagined those sharp edges battering a young woman to the point of her demise.

“I… I can,” he softly confessed.

Natalia looked to him with a small bouquet of flowers in her hand, the gardenias that she insisted on buying before they made their unexpected trek. No one else, not the man behind the florist’s counter or the friendly clerk from their bed and breakfast knew any more of the story than what the old woman had already told them.

“You can?” Natalia asked.

It made him sad to think that someone could so easily be forgotten in the span of a lifetime or so. But worse than that… far worse…

“What do you think I would do if I lost you?”

Fresh tears streamed freely down Natalia’s face, and a few petals cascaded to the soft grass under their feet as she held him and pressed her brow to his.

“What would I do?” she asked. “I never want to find out.”

“No,” he agreed, easing her back and looking at the way down once more before turning his attention to her flowers.

“This isn’t about us,” she reminded him. “Here.”

Handing him the gardenias, she reached into her pocket, her hand hitting the air with the purchased letter, and Natalia read Belle Prosper’s last words scrawled in an ancient ink to the wind.

“The days seem endless, but once we are reunited the world will be as if no time has passed. I long for the instant I see your face again and… I wish she could finish her thought.”

“What would you want her to say?” he asked.

“I... I want her to stop writing to see him and tell him,” Natalia said, fingering the petals of the ivory flowers. “I want them to have everything that they ever wanted. Together.”

“I know,” he said. Looking to the letter, Rafael lowered his glasses and still made out the words.

“I shall keep the candle burning until you return from the place too far for me to go… I would do that, hermosa. Wherever this world might take you…”

She choked back a sob, his many wives rolled into one perfect goddess, and Natalia flung her arms around his neck, the petals still falling as her whisper wafted into his ear.

“Do you… do you think that we’re making it right for them?” she asked. “In this life? We’ve… we’ve gone through so much, too. But here we are. With time to ourselves and presents for our girls waiting to go home.”

“And our hippo,” he joked, relieved and relaxing when he saw her smile. “The answer to that is yes, Natalia. I think we’re here, together, at this moment to make some of it right.”

Natalia took a step back with her eyes wide.

“What?” he asked.

“Would you have believed any of that before I corrected you on your Puccini?” she asked. 

“No,” he finally admitted after a few seconds of silence. “But then I didn’t believe in miracles until I met you.”

She kissed him quickly and turned her back into his chest. Together they looked over the edge of the green grass into the unforgiving abyss, and Natalia took a deep breath then started scattering the petals.

“Belle Prosper and Atticus Barber have their happily ever after,” she said. “Let that be the last line to the letter, let that… oh!”

Her breath hitched, and Rafael blinked a few times to believe what he was seeing, adjusting his glasses a few times to be sure. A large bird whose lot in life it should be to clean up carnage and nothing more perched on a branch where the gardenias settled. Mingling with the bits of flower still floating in the air was a monarch butterfly bordered in black wearing radiant orange wings. The bird pecked its ebony beak towards the fluttering bolt of color, and they waited with baited breath until the mismatched creatures flew off together towards the falling sunlight and ultimately disappeared from view.  

They said nothing for several long minutes, their hands clasped together until Natalia turned back to her husband.

“That was them,” she firmly stated. “Showing each other the way home.”

A million laws of biology told him otherwise… but every second in Natalia’s sphere contradicted what he had once believed, gave him new wonders to put his faith in…

“I’m glad we made up,” he murmured. “So I could share this with you.”

She clung to him as the sun dipped lower in the sky, but even as the shadows began to fill the space that they shared, there was no darkness when Rafael saw the light in her eyes.

“What if someone has to this for us someday?” she asked. “Reunite us if we lose our way?”

“Not happening,” he said, refusing to believe that anything could truly tear them apart. “Because I’m never letting you go, Natalia.”

She nodded through a few stray tears and they started back while there was still some light, their pace quickening when they returned to the sidewalks of the small town.

“We’ll stay in bed until sunrise,” she said. “And then…”

“Then we have four more miracles to get back to with gifts in hand.”

So what if he needed glasses and so much of the future was uncertain? None of that mattered when Natalia was at his side, making the world a warmer place…

…a world where a butterfly could find a hawk and make a home that no power on earth or beyond could ever touch.