#yes this could mean is already transed or comes out during the course of the story

[rozzwil]

I've been running hypotheticals with friends and want to know how the people feel. For the sake of this question, assume we found out just one of the companions is going to be trans in some way. Answer with who you most want to be trans rather than who you think is most likely to be, etc. No neutral or multiple answers, you have to pick one.

[illusionlockarchive]

pazam: a mess, truly a mess

so i usually dont do these kind of posts, i guess you could say its a call out of some sort? but i never liked that word, i prefer rather to just compile sources on WHY people would believe that a certain person is not truly as nice and understanding as they seem. consider this more of a psa post, detailing on whats going on with pazam on the sfm community, why so many people are against them.

So, a while back, tumblr user jymble made a post on the main tag stating that pazam was transphobic. they linked back to this post, which contains screenshots of pazam in a group chat stating that they do not feel comfortable with the idea of trans people. now, this did happen 9 months ago, true. however, for the record, pazam is already an adult, 24 years old, so they should have some tact. and as further and more recent events will show, they actually havent changed that much at all, at least not as they claim.

the screenshots should be in the post, but here is a transcript

[Screenshot one]

Pazam:

What????? Why?????

I literally HAVE NOT been doing ANYTHING malicious to them

And if it did I apologized

Yes I do have discomfort about them but I keep it to myself

Why are you doing this????

[End screenshot one]

‘Them’ here refers to trans people in general. Notice the defensive and victimizing stance they almost immediately take upon being confronted about their feelings on trans people.

[Screenshot two]

elliott:

of COURSE you dont

sammaku:

Like specifically

Elliott hush

Pazam:

This whole concept of transness and changing your gender physically

I hate to say it again but it weirds me out and it makes me question my own gender which flings me into anxiety, depression, and obsession

sammaku:

Its fine to not understand but are you willing to learn about it

Pazam:

I don’t want to talk about this anymore

sammaku:

That depression anxiety and obsession just comes with gender issues

(the rest of the text is cut off)

[End Screenshot two]

notice once summaku asks them if they would at least be willing to learn about it, pazam immediately deflects it by saying they dont want to talk about it anymore.

[Screenshot three]

Pazam:

Seriously??? That’s all it takes????

Wow I’m a moron

I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused to you

@.aziraphale @.elliott @.sammaku

I just don’t get this stuff period

And I’ve gotten into trouble with this stuff before

I’ll probably never understand it for the rest of my life but I’ll try to be more tactful around y’all

Especially since you’re all young

And I’m like an adult

[End screenshot three]

While at first this would seem like they had finally learned their lesson and apologized, the things they add on after the @s become quickly worrying. Not only do they admit to ‘have gotten into trouble with this stuff before’, meaning they have probably shown their transphobia in other places and been called out, but they also stand firmly on the fact that they will never understand it or ‘get’ it.

And of course, as jymble points out, the implication that the people they were talking to were only acting like that because they were young.

A while after this post was made, Pazam had posted an apology, and went onto contact jymble asking for the post with the evidence of their transphobic to be taken down. The reason? They were afraid people would see it and think they were still transphobic and not give them a chance.

In this more recent post, you can see the conversation play out between Pazam and jymbles. Long story short, Pazam feels that it’s unfair that that post is still up after they apologized, and jymble of course said they would rather not take it down, people deserve to know what they did and take their own conclusions, even if that involves avoiding them. How does Pazam respond? By flat out deleting the apology post. I’d love to show the apology post to give you both sides of the story but I cannot anymore, because Pazam in a very bizarre move just deleted it because they got mad a trans blogger wouldn’t take down their post with proof.

Here’s the transcript of the screenshots:

[Begin Conversation]

rebloggidy (Pazam’s personal):

I’m by no means transphobia-free after learning what I’ve done but at least I know my actions and am making an effort to be a better person towards trans people.

rebloggidy:

Hi again. So I hate to be that person but would it be ok if you took down that post about the transphobia claims? I know it took me 9 months to apologize but if people only see your side of the story and not realize the post I saw they’ll take it out of context and still think I’m transphobic. Do you understand?

jymble:

... i already told you im not taking down the post.

[jymble sends a screenshot of her own message in a previous conversation, the screenshot reads as follows:

however, i dont think im taking the post down, nor am i entirely comfortable with you interacting with me either. people deserve to know how you acted with this stuff, until youre really and truly *better* with it instead of just trying, and i was a direct target of it]

jymble:

you oughright told me "im by no means transphobia-free", word for word sorry, but i told you before. im not taking the post down.

rebloggidy:

I remember that. But what I'm trying to say to you is that if people who read it out of context will immediately think I'm still transphobic without the other side of it (my comment)

And I don't want people to think that in the future

jymble:

if people make assumptions without looking at the entire situation, thats on them

i am not deleting the post and thats final. people have a right to know what youve done, and they have a right to be uncomfortable

rebloggidy:

I'm ready to take down my post because frankly, I'm sick and tired of having to justifiy something that I did 9 months ago, and that people grow and learn even not 100% during that time and I'm ready to move on.

I'm still into smile for me and feel free to make a blacklist of my name so anybody who rbs my work on your dash can have it hidden or something.

Take care.

[End conversation]

a lot to unpack here, but perhaps most notable is when jymble simply stands her ground and tells pazam she wont take down the post, pazam straight up decides, without being told to or anything, that they should take down their apology. later on, they made a post stating why they deleted the post, and saying they had ‘been forced to’.

I also would love to link it here, but as of now of writing this, like, not even an hour or so after I had seen that post, it got deleted. The only memory I have of it is a conversation I had with my boyfriend about Pazam, in which I copypasted a fragment from that post that read:

“ So for those wondering where the apology post went, I was forced to delete it. I wanted to archive it in some way so I could pull it up for reference, but there was no way I could. Also I didn’t really want to see it every time on my blog because quite honestly it’s upsetting to look at.”

There are some lies and twisting of truths here. Pazam wasn’t forced to delete it, they decided they should do it as a way to somehow get back at jymble. And the excuse that it was upsetting for them to look at is just inexcusable, what matters most, letting people know of what youve done and that youre sorry, or just never addressing the situation?

But, well, I’m just hoping you’ll take my word for it. As you see, Pazam has officially deleted ANY traces of acknowledging this situation on their blog.

This worries me. If Pazam is truly as concerned that they will be seen as transphobic as they claim, why are they deleting anything that could give them a chance of showing their own side of the story?

Now, that is the end, for now, of Pazam’s history with transphobia. However! It is not the end for some other very shady things.

Namely, Pazam has consistently whitewashed characters from Smile For Me, specially Kamal, and when called out on it, simply deletes the asks.

Want to know how I know this?

I sent them an ask myself. I had come across this picture of Boris and Kamal:

And I knew that this wasn’t right. I can understand using light colors and doing watercolor, but if they can make Boris’ hair brown and vivid enough, why not Kamal? He looks like another character completely, or like he’s deathly sick! 

So I sent them an anonymous ask, perhaps a bit exhasperated, true, and my wording could be better. It went something like: “i am begging you to draw kamal with darker skin”.

I waited, checked. But nothing came of it. They never answered it.

Pazam flat out ignored when they were told they had drawn a canonically brown man with skin way too light. Not even a lone text post saying ‘hey anon, i dont agree with you’ or ‘hey anon im sorry it wont happen again’. Nothing. No word, no opinion.

And with this situation going on with them evading responsibility, I can’t say I’m fully surprised.

And, yet another thing. People had expressed concern over the fact they had drawn their Flower Kid, who is 17, in very intimate and close positions with Dr. Habit. It included nuzzling faces, cuddling in bed together, wearing his coat...

And they did hear the claims this time. As of now, their Flower Kid is 24, according to them.

Except... They do not look 24. At. All.

this is a 12 year old. at best. short body, stubby legs, big head. those are all attributes of a very young character, usually children. like, legitimately, thats how childrens anatomy is in real life. the younger the person, the bigger their head is in proportion to their body.

We have already had an adult trying to justify drawing their flower kid who barely looked like an adult if at all in intimate situations with Habit. Let’s not let it slide by again.

And yes, I’m aware Pazam claims that those pictures were not supposed to be interpreted as romantic, ‘only platonic fluff’ and that they intend to keep it that way, but I have talked to my boyfriend who is a survivor and he said it very well could be a case of someone just trying to cover their tracks.

BUT, all that being said, maybe this one particular instance could be just us being wary. Still, it does not diminish all that they have done, specially ignoring the whitewashing claims.

What you are going to do with this information, I do not know. Maybe you don’t care and will keep reblogging their content. Maybe you’re disgusted by them. But I’m just here to give you the facts. Personally though, I’m not willing to give them much of a chance after the way they’ve behaved. They are 24 years old, three years older than me, and I think I could do a better job of handling a situation like this, frankly.

[baekthecorgi]

you’re the cure, you’re the pain (doyoung) genre: college au, med student au, fluff (a quick glimpse of premed!doyoung) words: 3k w. summary: dating a med student has got to be the hardest feat one could ever encounter.

*terms defined at the end

you first meet doyoung at the library on your third year in university. not exactly meet as in meet, it was more of a see doyoung dozing off on top of his thick books at the coldest, most secluded section of the library where you often spend your time studying for your lessons. his hoodie was zipped all the way up to protect him from the cold. you notice how his oversized hoodie covered the spines of his books so you were left clueless about his course.

it became a thursday thing to spot a certain hooded figure slumped over the same trio of books that you found yourself looking forward to thursdays instead of fridays. which was weird actually because all uni students looked forward to the end of the week. all except you.

one fateful thursday afternoon, you find mr. sleepy head in an all-white uniform, still in dreamland, but this time, his head was stuck between pages 124 and 125. you take a quick peek of the book’s header. in bold, all caps, it read: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). the scattered sticky notes on the surface indicated that he was in the middle of his thesis. before you pry further, mr. sleepy head shifts his position. you hurriedly fumble back to your seat. mr. sleepy head reveals his haggard yet captivating face towards your direction.

judging from the nameplate on his chest, white uniform, and the DSM-5, you figure out mr. sleepy head’s a graduating psychology student. when he showed no signs of waking up, you make a beeline to where he is. you were near to study his features but far enough to not look like a preying stalker. his raven locks stuck out in different directions, and his bangs swooped down which highlighted his sharp jawline. the white uniform highlighted his broad shoulders which you thought were wider than the pacific ocean (if that even is a thing). there were bags under his eyes but you guessed, even with eyes closed, that mr. sleepy head has those sincere eyes which would make any individual fall in deep.

“are you planning to stare at me the whole day or are you gonna help me with my rrl*?” said guy mumbles, voice low enough to send shivers down your spine. mr. sleepy head opens his eyes, his piercing gaze seemingly passing through you. “do you have any business here?”

“i-i’m sorry, i-i didn’t mean to stare, uhm,” you stutter. glancing at his nameplate, you continue, “kim doyoung? oh, uh, doyoung. sorry, again. i’ll go if that makes you comf���”

“nah, it’s fine i’m just messing with ya,” doyoung snickers, waving it off. “though you might want to practice your staring. it’s not exactly subtle.” you feel heat creeping through your cheeks.

“i’m guessing you’re a third year biology major?” you nod at his inquiry. “and i’m betting this is your private study corner?” you nod once again.

“how’d you know?”

“your materials are all splayed out like you own the place. those are a third year bio student’s books. i have friends from bio too, y'know,” doyoung tells. “i’m also good at studying people’s expressions. perks of being a psych major. in your case, you bite your lower lip when you tell the truth. well, what i hope is the truth.”

you reply with a, “i’m not good at lying.”

doyoung raises a brow as if doubting your words. he retorts, a gummy smile plastered on his face, “aside from your expressions, well, you’re not the only one stealing glances.”

you wanted to bang your head on the wall. was mr. sleepy head flirting with you? did he stare back at you all those past thursdays? oh my god, your head was spinning at the theories crossing your mind. it was only when doyoung cleared his throat that snapped you back to reality.

“i’d love to stay and chat, but i have clinical psych in ten minutes. fifth floor, room 2-4. ends in two hours,” doyoung says in a monotonous tone exactly the way his psych professors him. detached is what they would always remind their students to be, but with you, doyoung might just have to make an exception.

you ask, confused at the details thrown at you, “why are you telling me this?”

“maybe i wanna practice reading people more, or maybe i wanna spend my late night coffee run with the girl who’s been staring at me for like, four thursdays, while i get to know her more and try to cram for my departmental exam tomorrow. pick your poison,” and with that said psychology major doyoung flashes you a mischievous grin as scrambles over his things, stuffing them down his knapsack.

“see you in two hours?” doyoung confirms and you agree. he takes his exit, or what seems to be his exit because he retracts his steps and calls you. “good luck on your zoology quiz. hope you ace it!”

your friends have already warned you on psychology majors. more on dating psychology majors. “they’re just plain weird. it’s like they’re always reading your mind”, they’d always say. your encounter with doyoung proved their hypotheses true. your first ever talk with the weirdly attractive doyoung made you want to form your own conclusions and not from someone else’s.

maybe that’s why you ended up meeting doyoung in front of his last class and spend the entire night chatting away at a 24/7 café. half of it was the actual getting to know each other cliché. you found out doyoung added an extra shot of espresso to his coffee nowadays as his tolerance level rose from all the night shifts during OJT*. his brother was a law student and doyoung, on the other hand, was an aspiring med student. doyoung was lactose intolerant but he absolutely loves cheesecakes, blueberry especially. doyoung knows he’s weird because his roommate, taeyong, fights him about it all the time.

the other half was spent on doyoung tutoring you on biochemistry, ranting for a good thirty minutes on why he chose his stupid thesis proposal when it clearly lacked the studies to back it up, and doyoung snuggling against your arm on the wee hours of the morning.

three months of caffeine overdose and two breakdowns later (it alternates between you and doyoung, depends on who has a dickhead professor), doyoung finally asks you to be his girlfriend in his cramped bedroom. you wholeheartedly say YES!!!! before doyoung even gets to the question. tackling your boyfriend down on his bed, you pepper him with what seems to be a thousand kisses. you spend an hour of making out, then listening to taeyong scolding you both for making out and explicitly moaning for half an hour on the other side of the door, and waking up late on doyoung’s chest, inhaling his musky scent first thing in the morning. it was nothing less than perfect–your relationship, your boyfriend.

(doyoung misses an exam that day but to hell with that, it’s been a long time since he last fell in love. he’d rather hold you in his arms, whispering sweet nothings to your ear at 7AM rather than sulking over a test with a 45% passing rate.)

dating doyoung was so exhausting, you sometimes wonder why you even considered that as an option.he’d piss you off with bio jokes he steals from taeyong on a daily basis. you even tried to coax taeyong from sponsoring doyoung with lame biology jokes but the former also takes joy in pissing you off.

“here comes my Trypanosoma cruzi,” doyoung cooes when he spots you walking towards the sofa.

“i’m not in the mood for jokes, baby,” you snap back but doyoung only squishes your cheeks with his soft lips.

“really? i doubt it. you always find your way back to my heart,” doyoung sends a flirty wink to which you roll your eyes to. he’s cheesy like this.

“doyoung, that’s rude. first of all, i’m not a parasitic bug burrowing through heart muscles. second of all, people are dying because of that bug. third of all, i hate you because that was hella smart.”

“you still love me, though.”

“well, you’re not wrong about that.”

it wasn’t until doyoung graduated and entered med school that you realized relationships aren’t full of rainbows and unicorns. you had small, petty fights with your boyfriend, of course, but this time it was different. with you busy with your thesis and doyoung struggling as a first year med student, everything seemed like a big, fiery heap of mess. both of you were quite new with the whole set-up. of lacking time for each other. of prioritizing academics over your significant other. of having study dates without any conversation at all. or simply, having no dates in weeks.

falling in love was easy to do, almost effortless. it was staying in love that was arduous, puzzling, and just difficult. staying in love is a commitment. it was an everyday choice to love doyoung without expecting anything back.

loving a med student was a hard feat. it takes guts, it takes bravery, it takes courage to love one and to stay in love with one.

time was the one thing doyoung can’t give to you. of course, he spends time with you, going out for dates and whatnot, but most of the time it means sacrificing a part of his academics so you don’t demand much of it as much as you did before.

you always catch him pushing his black-rimmed glasses up his nose bridge as he tries his best to stuff information in his brain. you were sure his mind was overloading with names of bones, chemical formulas, symptoms, diseases, god knows what more’s inside it. doyoung barely functions as a normal human being anymore. most of the time, he skips buying lunch to answer samplexes*, highlighting transes* to study for his exam which he had every. single. day. so you make it a daily habit to pack him lunch with whatever he was craving, tightly wrapped and ribonned with a pink cloth.

as a thank you, doyoung never fails to leave the apartment or sleep without placing a gentle kiss on your lips. saying “i love you” tenderly was a very kim doyoung thing to do and you’d feel your heart flutter like the first time you had your coffee date.

most of the time, you’d confiscate doyoung’s coffee, snatching it away from his hands. sulking, he’d complain, “babyyyy, i need my caffeine. there’s a shifting exam* tomorrow. please, baby, please!”

you won’t succumb to his pleads even if you’re on the verge of handing him back his drink. doyoung was basically immune to caffeine at this point so it was rather useless for him to drink more.

“take a nap, baby. it’s better than coffee intake. i promise i’ll wake you up in an hour,” you beg to which he shakes his head. “for me? please? you really need it.”

doyoung finally agrees only because your voice sounded worried as fuck and he wants to be the least of your worries, but also because you were right. he needed some sleep. needless to say, you became doyoung’s personal alarm clock. an alarm clock with 8AM classes.

but you were only a living, breathing human with feelings just like kim doyoung. it wasn’t unusual to crave for affection and reassurance. medical school was eating your boyfriend alive that it left you with crumbs of what’s left with doyoung. you weren’t needy, desperate for attention, so it would be nice for boyfriend to compromise once in a while. nice to be cuddled, kissed, made love to like there weren’t requirements to pass and exams to study for the very next day.

it would be nice to be top of doyoung’s priorities even for a split second.

“doyoung, baby, let’s cuddle!” you softly cry, carressing his cheek. you were chilling on his lap. he massages your jet black tresses, eyes buried deep in Guyton & Hall’s “Textbook in Medical Physiology”.

he hums, “later, baby. i’ll just finish a chapter.”

“but you read slow”

“i’m trying to concentrate, baby. let’s talk later,” doyoung scans the page one last time before flipping it.

frowning, you pluck the thick book away from his hand in frustration. “i’m not asking for twenty four hours with you, doyoung! i just want five minutes of your goddamn time! i wanna cuddle and kiss the life out of you, god i’d be perfectly okay with having a conversation without the scientific shit you’ve been studying about because fact check! lately, it seems like you don’t give a flying fuck about me. you don’t care about what i think, what i do, i mean, do you still care about me, doyoung? are you willing to spare me a glance for, i don’t fucking know, a minute of your attention? because that’s what i do, doyoung. others wouldn’t have gotten this far with you, but i did because i fucking love you! god, i’m head over heels for you, baby, because i choose you. every single day. and i just want to know if the person i’m choosing still chooses me cause if not, we might as well break up.”

“i-i’m sorry. i didn’t know you felt that way,” your boyfriend stutters. “i-i’ve been failing almost all my AnaPhy* exams and now i’m about to lose you a-and–”

in a blink, doyoung has his palms covering his face, tears streaming down his cheeks. you didn’t expect to blow up the pent up frustrations welling up inside you for months. you didn’t mean spewing those harsh words. instantly, you envelope him in a reassuring hug, wrapping your arms around his neck. doyoung buries his head on the crook of your neck. it’s a hug that’s warm and homely. one that says sorry for being such an idiot blowing up at you like this. one that provides him complete comfort, and not only support, but also acceptance.

the night ended with loving kisses and a voice of strength which became doyoung’s guiding light through the horrid horror that is medical school.if you thought dating a med student was hard, it was nothing compared to dating an intern. it was like dating a ghost.

sometimes, you’d come home late at night to the inoccupancy of the other side of the bed. sometimes, you’d wake up for work and catch sight of a clearly exhausted doyoung, lightly snoring from his night duty. you take a few moments, staring at your boyfriend’s peaceful aura, the same way you did a few years back at the library. before leaving, you secure a soft kiss on his pink lips, never forgetting to mumble an “i love you” even when he can’t hear your words.

when you do find your schedule synchronizing with doyoung’s you find yourself elated an excited with his daily medical adventures.

“patients complain about having to eat hospital food for three days but imagine having to eat it for your whole career”

"baby, i literally give you two packed lunches what the hell”

“oh shit. i have to explain myself now, don’t i?”

other times, it would be like:

“i nearly dropped this scalpel into the patient’s abdomen. can you stop looking at me like THAT?”

“why the fuck is everything in the hospital broken?” he complains, massaging his forehead. you reply, “baby, you’re a doctor. it’s literally your job to fix people.”

“well, shit,” doyoung sighs. he breathes in a gust of air when you let out a hearty laugh. you jeer, “you might have a MD at the end of your name but you’re dumb sometimes.”

but most of the time, your conversations would go like this:

“are you stressed?” you ask, entangling your limbs over his.

“i’ve been paged five times in the last two minutes, i delivered a baby in surgery today, resuscitated two patients, and haven’t slept in 48 hours. so, yes, forgive me if i’m a little on edge.”

“that’s okay, baby. we can have a nap date today.” he pecks the back of your hand, sighing. you take this as a sign to languidly kiss him on the lips this time.

one time, while driving him home from a spontaneous roadtrip with your boyfriend, you spot the oncoming heavy traffic flow. there has been a car collision causing the road blockage and the slow traffic flow. the vehicles were being towed to the side of the road when the people helping, retreated the injured victims.

once doyoung spots the lack of medical attention, he commands, “baby, pull up. i have to help them.”

slamming the car door close, doyoung rushes to the victims. he kneels down, examining the injuries and pressing lightly on all the right spots. he looks up at the confused expressions of the people surrounding him. “don’t worry, i’m a doctor. now does somebody have a pen? i have to perform an emergency tracheostomy*. this lady has an obstructed airway.”

after the ambulance arrived, you pull a hazy doyoung in a comforting hug. it’s his first time handling a case outside the hospital, his palms were all sweaty.

“i thought i was gonna lose all of ‘em,” he mumbles into your neck. you laugh at his nervous voice, rubbing circles on his back.“

this is the exact reason why you’re a doctor. you saved them, baby,” you pull him off, placing both your palms gently on his cheeks. “i’m proud of you.”

“i love you, baby,” doyoung declares. he says it without hesitation, without doubts. he wears his words as a thank you. for never giving up on loving him, for choosing to love him even when he doesn’t deserve it.

you’ve overcome so much hardships in your relationship with doyoung that looking back, you realized everything was worth it. doyoung was worth it. love was worth it.

–

note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME BIIIIIIITCH IM FINALLY DONE WITH THIS SJKDFHKSJDHF shoutout to the anon who freaked out and requested this!!! ugh med student doyoung in an all-white uniform would be so HOT istg,, i would love to get feedbacks

masterlist is on my bio soooo check it out !! tumblr’s being a little bitch bc when i put the link the post disappears from the tags grr

disclaimer: i’m not a med student. this is based on our country’s education system so it’s not exactly accurate with others.

RRL = Review of Related Literature; the selection and annotation of available documents which contain information, ideas, data and evidence related to the topic that a person proposes to research on

OJT = on the job training; it’s what graduating students do before, during or after thesis. and yes, it’s part of the grade.

Samplex = sample exams or corrected test questionnaires; also from higher batches

Trans = transcribed notes from higher batches; an outline of doctors’ lectures & ppts

AnaPhy = Anatomy & Physiology class

Shifting Exam = taken in each subject; much like departmental quizzes answered in 30 mins during lunch time

Tracheostomy =  a medical procedure that involves creating an opening in the neck in order to place a tube into a person’s windpipe

[ellana-ravenwood]

Wild Child - Bruce Wayne x Reader

PART 2

Oh man, this deserves an entire fic, and not just a little answer I write in thirty seconds…And so here it is, hope you’ll like it :-) : 

My master list blog :  @ella-ravenwood-archives

________________________________________________

It happened during one of your daily lunch time date with Bruce.

You tried, as much as possible, to eat with your husband come down noon everyday, and managed to do so most of the time.

Wether you brought him some delicious food prepared by Alfred to his office at Wayne inc, or went out for an hour to grab something in a cafe...it was a ritual of yours.

And a rather important one at that, as it was one of the only time you could enjoy each others without one of your children bargain in...Usually, even paparazzis would leave you alone, as you always let them snape a few quality pictures before.

Yes. It happened during one of your little moment with your Broosh...

-(Y/N) ? (Y/N) (Y/L/N) ?! Is it really you ?  

-...Oh my God, Alex ?!

As soon as you felt a hand on your arm, turned around to see that it was your childhood best friend that you hadn’t seen in twenty years...You knew two things were now going to happen.

1. Your husband was going t leave his seat on the terrace of the cafe you were both having lunch in to come see who dared to touch his wife.

2. You just knew you were going to have to invite your dear from over for dinner...Twenty years was such a long time, how could you not ?!

And, sure enough, not even ten seconds after your turned around and hug enthusiastically Alex, you felt another hand snake around your waist and, still holding onto your friend’s arms, you turned to Bruce (who of course had his brow furrowed and was glaring at “the man who dared to touch you”) as his huge shadow was casted upon you and Alex.

Bruce notices the fact that your hands do not let go off that stranger’s own hands, he notices that you don’t snuggle against him as you are used to whenever he puts an arm around your waist...and the green monster of jealousy  takes over him.

Who the Hell was that guy ?!

But as you turn around, the large and genuine smile you have on your face makes his heart tighten and melt at the same time.

Tighten because this smile isn’t just for him, but also for that man your still holding, and melt because...you really have the most beautiful smile he’ve ever seen.

The mixed feelings inside him leave him a bit confuse, and it takes him a few seconds to register that you’re talking to him :

-Bruce ! Oh my God you won’t believe what just happened ! Ok so Bruce, this is Alexandar, my best childhood friend ! He moved to California when we were seventeen and I haven’t seen him since ! This is crazy !  

You know your husband is jealous (even though there’s a reason to, you and Alex ? There has never been anything ambiguous between the two of you), but you’re too happy to really pay any attention to it (besides, it happens way too often and you’ve gotten quite good at ignoring him when he’s like that...you’ll make it up to him later in the day..maybe quickly visit his office or something ? Or just wait for him to come back home after patrol...).

You hug Alex again (ignoring Bruce’s little outraged cry) and say :

-This is Bruce by the way, my husband.

-Oh, so it’s (Y/N) Wayne now eh ? Well, you’ve always kinda had a thing for him...I remember you drooling over his pictures in magazines...

You blush a bit and shift awkwardly, knowing that Bruce was never going to let that go but...Strangely, he doesn’t take notice of it and say :

-You know who I am ?

Your friend looks up at your husband (Alex wasn’t really short, no, he was 1m80, but Bruce...Oh Bruce was a giant) and, with an infuriating (for Bruce) smirk he says :

-Haha, who doesn’t ?

Alex winks at Bruce and...could it be ? You were pretty sure your Broosh almost smiled ! Against his own will of course, Alex natural friendly aura always worked on everyone (he got you out of tons of trouble thanks to that particular aura).

You take this almost-friendliness from Bruce as your queue to do the second thing you were sure that was going to happen and say :

-Oh and I have kids ! A bunch of them ! Shit because right now we have to go back to work and such but we just got to catch up ! What about you come over for dinner soon ?

Your friend chuckle at the way you just phrased things...A “bunch” of kids ? And oh how missed you and your antics.

He takes a quick look at your husband and...that man does not look happy. However, not in the least taken aback, Alex says :

-I mean, I’d love to come over for dinner ! If that’s OK with you ?

He turns to Bruce (and you just know he’s teasing him on purpose...you think it’s hilarious) who grumpily just nods a bit. You elbow him slightly in the ribs and he groans before saying :

-We’d love to have you over.

It sounds so fake that you wince and give an apologetic look to Alex. Your friend just smiles knowingly as you say :

-What about next Friday ? We should all be free...right Bruce ?

It seems like Alex doesn’t notice the little tension in your voice as you say that, but oh he sees how Bruce’s head turns to you and how his harsh facial expression (seriously, was that guy able to smile ?) soften by just looking at you, and when he answers you :

-Yes.

It’s in a sweet and voice that Alex would never had pegged a guy like Bruce Wayne to have. Hell, the great and always in control Bruce Wayne had to refrain himself from adding “my Love” to that, remembering you were in public...but you know better.

And it seems Alex does too because he gives you another knowing look and smiles a bit smugly (he always knew you were a hopeless romantic, despite what you used to say) before saying :

-Alright then, see you Friday ! Oh God we got lots to catch up ! I can’t believe you married the famous Bruce Wayne - he gives an appreciative look to your stoic husband - and that you got kids ! All the way to California, you guys aren’t really in tabloids...I should’ve known...

-Haha it’s alright Alex, I see my face in said tabloids enough, I’m glad it’s not nation wide ! And yes we do have lots to catch up ! See you later Al’ !

With yet another wink to Bruce, your friends leaves and disappears in the crowded streets. You don’t move for a few seconds, a dreamy smile still on your lips. You can’t believe you he’s back ! You can’t believe Alexandar McMillan, the only really good friend you had when you were a kid, is back in Gotham City !

You turn to Bruce and...Oh, your husband does NOT share your smile. You roll your eyes and say :

-Don’t make that face Honey, he’s probably more interested in you than he is in me.

Bruce comes out of his sort of jealous-transe he was in and, with a confused look on his face that is so unlike him, he says :

-...What ?

You chuckle and wrap your arms around his torso, squeezing him against you lovingly. He return your embrace of course (you can even feel his tense muscles relax a bit under your touch) and you add :

-Alex is gay. Very very gay. I wasn’t the only one drooling over your pictures in those magazines, when we were younger.

Immediately reassured that “Alex” isn’t going to steal you away from him (he felt how close you both were just by seeing you two interacting for not even fifteen minutes...he was so damn scared he was going to loose you !), your husband smirk and...Oh no, no he wouldn’t dare...Would he ?

-So...Drooling over pictures of me eh ? How does it feel to actually sleep with your idol ?

You roll your eyes as hard as you can and smack him on the chest...but you can’t hide the small blush on your cheeks as the man you love discovers one of your childhood secret.

Yes. You used to have a massive crush on the very handsome Bruce Wayne when you were fourteen (he was already in his twenties at that time).

And yes, you tried to hide this from him because you knew he’d tease you endlessly about it (after all, not only was he your lover, the love of your life, but also your best friend, and so the teasing was non-stop).

Little did you know that, by dinner time next Friday, many more of your childhood secrets would be out...To your greatest displeasure.

************

It was about half-way through the main course that it all started.

You had try to avoid those topics since Alex first set foot in the mansion but...well, it had been a huge part of your childhood so...

It didn't help that your children were so damn curious about how you were as a child ! As soon as they heard that your best childhood friend was coming over, they had trouble hiding their curiosity.

They never met one of your childhood friend (probably because you had only one, and he moved to California all those years ago...you were a pretty lonely person after Alex’s departure, up until you met Bruce in your early twenties and found a new best friends...Found new friends in general, all of them part of the Justice League of course...Oh, and who could forget Alfred ? Your confident ?), and they were excited to.

************

When Alex rung the doorbell, he heard a raucous behind the door, wondering what the Hell was happening...It was your boys, all running to the door, from different part of the mansion, and fighting to open it first...

Jason, being the tallest and strongest of them all, was the one to open...A very surprised Alex stared at Jason pushing away his other brothers with his thigh, struggling to keep the door open, and groaning incoherent words at them.

You arrived not even a minute later, accompanied by Alfred and Bruce, and you couldn’t help but facepalm yourself as you witnessed your children just being an indistinct ball of legs and arms, groaning, snarling and growling at each others.

You only had to clear your throat for them to let go of each other and to try and stand up straight as you came towards them, glaring a little bit (you were quite amused really) at them. You turned to a stunned Alex and said :

-Well, welcome to my “humble” home, and yes I’m being sarcastic and a bit of a show off, fight me. I see you met my...Boys. The one who opened the door is Jason, the one that was trying to tear his hair off of his skull is my eldest, Richard, but everyone calls him Dick. The one that was biting his leg is my youngest, Damian. And the one who was doing both of that with a cup of coffee in his free hand ? That’s Timothy, Tim. Welcome welcome, now come on, dinner’s ready, Alfred made something great. Oh this is Alfred by the way, our wonderful butler. Now come on Al’, let’s go.

All your friend could utter, in front of this all spectacle, was a weak and confused :

-You...you have a butler ?

This started the night off with all of you bursting out in laughter (even Bruce), and it was just perfect.

************

It didn’t stay perfect though as, half-way through dinner, the subject was raised, sprawled by a comment Alex made.

Jason was talking about how he loved to drive motorcycles and how he’d go to Gotham’s tracks at least once a week to practice when Alex said :

-Oh, your mother used to love dirt bikes too. Best “get away car” she used to say. Which was pretty stupid really, since a dirt bike isn’t a car...but hey, no offense to you guys but sometimes, your mom wasn't the brightest one haha !

Alex laughs and your sons...Oh damn. Yup. They’re onto it. You wince a bit, waiting for their inevitable question, but Bruce beats them to it :

-Best “get away car” ?

-Yup. But then again, stupid, a dirt bike ain’t a “car”.

-Yes no I got that part but...Why would she need a “get away car” ? Or bike ? Or whatever ?

Alex freezes as his forks is half-way to his mouth and turns to you, a mischievous smile on his face. You don’t say a thing, afraid to incriminate you further, but give him a look that clearly means : “don’t you dare”. But oh, oh he’s your best friend since you were a tiny kid and your glare doesn’t work on him, and so...he does dare.

-What ? She never told you ?

Damian narrows his eyes at that “Alex” (he wouldn’t admit it just yet, but he already loved the guy...he kinda reminded him of you really, he definitely understood why you were friends) and say, pointing at him with his fork :

-Don’t you tell lies about my mother.

Your friend turns to your son and give you an amused look. Oh that one has your glare, and the threat in his words is definitely no joke. Good.

-I’m not about to tell any lies. Must admit though, I’m surprised she never talked about it...

-About what ?

Asks Tim, eager to know (always so curious).

-Her childhood.

Damian raises a bit more in his chair, interested, and says :

-She did tell us about it. About how she grew up in The Narrows, one of the poorest neighborhood in Gotham. About how tough it was. How we should never think we’re better than anyone because we have money because some people are great and do not. She told us all sort of things about her childhood and the Narrows and all of that.

-Well, it’s nice of her to teach you good principles. But...Hasn’t she taught you not to lie ?

You roll your eyes and say :

-I never lied, I just...never talked about it. It wasn’t really important alright ? And it was so long ago.

-A lie by omission is still a lie.

-No it’s not Alex, and you damn well know it. Now let’s move on and...

But Bruce raises his arm and gestures to you to stop talking..something he would have never dared to do if he wasn’t so engrossed in what was happening. You hated being shushed, but in this instance, you can understand why he did it.

You’ve always been evasive about your childhood.

He knew you had abusive parents who died when you were young, and were mostly raised by your older brothers (who were unfortunately also dead now...Drug bust lead by corrupted police officers...there were a reason, after all, why you were so supportive of his nightly activities). He knew you didn’t had the greatest and easiest childhood. He knew...enough. But whenever you talked about it, he also knew that you were omitting some details.

And now, he was about to know them all.

After “shushing you” a bit rudely (he’d apologize later), he turned to your friend and, captivated, he said :

-Go on Alexandar. Please. We all want to know.

You sighed, defeated (you didn’t fight much but you knew that, since they were all so stubborn, you had no chance of winning that said fight so...might as well end it quick eh ?), and sunk down a bit in your chair.

Alex looked at you and, knowing damn well he had won easily, smiled and turned to his captivated audience (even Alfred was listening intently, acting as if he wasn’t) :

-Well...Your mother, boys. Your wife, Bruce...She wasn’t exactly...A well behaved kid. Oh no. Actually, at Gotham precinct, they used to refer to her as a “wild child”.

************

Growing up in the Narrows was tough. People had nothing to loose there, and could kill someone for a can of beans.

Growing up in the Narrows was tough but...When you knew nothing else, you just had to deal with it.

You were one of the few teenagers of the block that wasn’t involved with the local mafia (though your very first job was a summer seasonal one, when you were thirteen, and it was to stock the ice machine at a pub known to be the headquarters of the Irish mafia...eh, they used to tip really well), that wasn’t dealing or anything...

But still, you weren’t exactly a perfect child.

Your mom had died of an overdosed when you were six, while your dad was in prison, and your oldest brother had taken you in. He was barely eighteen and had to work lots to take care of you and your two other brothers (unfortunately, to do so he had to involve himself in the mafia...which lead to his untimely demise, years later, in that terrible drug bust that left you without any family, but that’s another story...your brother was the reason you never got involved with the mafia. You were the youngest, and though he couldn’t save his other two sibling from this life, he could you, since you were so much younger than all of them...you often thought about how your life could have been very different if your brother never sacrificed himself to save you from being involved with the mafia).

This particular family setting gave you the mean to...run wild and free.

When you were seven, you and Alex sneaked into one of those utterly rich country club from the outskirt of Gotham (not too far from The Narrows...all you had to do was climbing the high wall they put up to not see the misery they acted liked it didn’t exist), and “borrowed” a golf cart.

Neither of you knew how to drive and you crashed pretty quickly in a nearby pond...You ran away, fortunately unscathed, laughing and yelling profanities, chased by angry rich old men who definitely would have beaten you with their golf club if they had been able to catch up with you two. You were from the Narrows after all, you had to know how to run fast.  

When you were nine, you skipped school for the first time...It was so easy. All you had to do really, was to go left instead of right when you got out of the school bus. Alex followed you of course, his parents weren’t really much better than yours so...no one ever even told you anything.

When you turned thirteen, you and Alex had the absolutely stupid and dangerous idea to steal some weed from a local small time dealer...It was your birthday and Alex just couldn’t resist you, and so he went to talk to the dealer, causing a diversion while you were robbing him.

Coincidently, this was also the first time you actually smoke weed...You were quite “baked” and got taken to Gotham police station by a certain officer James Gordon when you and Alex started to run down the street (on a school day, at school hours) laughing way too loudly.

Jim Gordon never told you nor Alex that what you stole from that “drug dealer” was oregano, and that said “drug dealer” was ripping people off (which definitely was a bad idea in a neighborhood like The Narrows). He laughed way to much seeing you completely “baked” while you didn’t actually smoke (later on you would though).

He let you two go with a warning (you didn’t even find it odd) and that was the first time you’d deal with future commissioner James Gordon.

When you were fifteen, you stole the school bully’s dirt bike (by that time, your brother had forced you to promise you’d go to school and you were only skipping really boring classes nowadays...like maths and sports, going to smoke in a corner with Alex), and engaged in a crazy chase all around Gotham with it.

This spurred you to call dirt bikes “the perfect get away car” as you lost tons of cops car (evidently, those guys had nothing better to do than to chase a kid who had stolen a fucking dirt bike...), running up and down narrow streets, stairs, hills, and even parks ! You lost the last cops’ car in the forrest surrounding Gotham East, as you were climbing up the mountain with “your” dirt bike...Perfect “get-away-car-which-wasn't-really-a-car”.

When you came home with it, your brothers weren’t really happy with you but...They still help you re-paint it and one of your brother sold it for a few hundred buck...to the bully you had stolen it from !

When you were seventeen, you received the worst news ever since your mom’s passing...Alex was leaving. His abusive father had been send to prison and his mother, who was finally freed of his grasp, had decided to move to the literal other side of the country, in California.

You were devastated...But also very decided to give Alex a memorable last day in Gotham.

You stole a sport car (by pure coincidence, or maybe it was destiny...it was Bruce’s, he never knew, until now, what had happened to his brand new lambho) from high town and picked Alex up from his home. You spend the day racing around town, and ended up dumping the car in a nearby lake, where you then proceed to smoke a last joint together, before the awful separation...

Yes. 

Your childhood, your young years, had been a bit..”wild”. 

James Gordon is the one that called you a “Wild Child” first, when he “arrested” you for the thousand times. It’s funny how, for some reasons, he never gave up on you though...When your brothers got killed, he’s the one that gave you the news, the one that helped you go to college, the one that...got you out of the Narrows really (but that was another story).

But when Alex left (you kept in contact by letter the first few years, as it was before internet but...life got in the way as it often does, and ultimately, you kinda lost contact...yet today, as you see each other again after years, it’s as if not even a day has passed since he left), you didn’t have anyone to do things with you anymore. It wasn’t as fun. And when, right after your eighteenth birthday, your brothers got killed by corrupted cops...you stop that lifestyle completely.

Shortly after that, you met Bruce for the first time, and the rest was history.

************

-Oh and don’t get me started on that time she managed to get a herd of goats up the school’s roof ! Like, where did she even find goats in Gotham ?!

You smiled mysteriously as your children and husband turned to you, expecting you to say something, and you do, it’s just not the answer they were expecting :

-Well, I gotta have a few secrets still no ?

They pout, a bit disappointed, but turn to Alex again, waiting for him to keep going. By now, dinner was over and the clock was indicating one am (it was your husband and children’s night off of patrol, Batwoman and Batgirl, as well as Gotham Girl and Boy were on it).

Your friend raises his hand and say :

-That’s it guys, I’m pretty sure I didn’t forget any “crime” your mother did. Of course nothing was ever really...big...

-Except for when she stole a car.

-And the weed.

-And everything really.

-Well I think it’s cool.

-Oh yes, yes it is.

-Most definitely

You smile at your boys and oh you’re so relieve that all those stories didn’t change their opinions of you (on the contrary, they think you’re even more badass than they already knew you were).

At first, when Alex started telling all those stories, you blushed a lot and hid yourself behind your hands. You had almost forgotten how much of a brat you used to be...

But as you heard Dick laugh a lot, as you saw Jason looking at you with a “Oh this is why you don’t ground me nearly as much as I should be” look on his face, when you looked at Tim and his “I know now where all your good excuses to skip school you give me come from”, when you glimpsed at Damian who was completely entranced by your friend’s stories...Hell, even as you saw Bruce slightly amused expression and mischievous look to you (he knew this life was long over anyway), and Alfred small shake of his head and smiles, you realized that really, there wasn’t anything to be ashamed off and started to comment your friends’ stories, and even add to it, laughing and saying “oh the good old days” way too much.

And finally, finally the end of it all was coming, and you were all laughing and talking about it all.  

-So..This is why you and Commissioner Gordon seemed to know each other so well when I thought you first met at that Gala on one of our first date.

Bruce said, nudging you a little in the ribs. You smile and say :

-Well, he wasn’t a commissioner at the time but..yup, this is why.

And soon, it was already 3 am and Alfred was taking Alex to one of the guest room (there was no way you were going to let him go home alone that late in the night) as your boys were cleaning up the table.

You were putting away some dishes when you felt your Bruce’s arms snake around your waist from behind, and his chest pressing against your back. You smile, and raise your head, giving him a small kiss on the lips.

He grazes your neck with his mouth and says :

-So...you’ve been a bad girl uh ? Should I handcuff you and punish you properly ?

You back yourself fully against him, and take a please expression at his sudden sharp intake of breath before saying, in a sexy voice :

-Oh no please sir, be merciful.

-I’m afraid I can’t m’am, you broke too many laws. I’ll have to sp...

-OH MY GODS PARENTS !! ENOUGH !! WE’RE RIGHT HERE !!

You and Bruce both jump in the air, startled, and turn around to be faced with an outraged Tim who just spoke, and three other boys, mouth opened, a disgusted look on their face, and dirty dishes in their hands (they didn’t even think about putting them down, too shocked and grossed out by what they just heard you say).

You can’t help but chuckle, and that pure sound make your husband’s feature soften. Ignoring his sons, he turns you around and catches your lips with his, kissing you passionately...You barely register the clatter of dishes thrown on the kitchen counters, and your sons’ hurried footsteps slowly fading away.

The End.

______________________________________

As usual, it’s all over the fucking place, such a mess really... Sorry, I often get carried away as I start writing...Like, this is why this is fucking long, sorry again...Hope you still liked it.

As always, feedbacks are very welcome (your opinion means a lot to me). Thank you for reading. And boom.