#yes the women were paid yes the picked their own outfits that doesnt make it less sexist literally every woman who has

[filthyjanuary]

the only thing i have to say about That Music Video is "satire requires a clarity of purpose and target lest it be mistaken for and contribute to that which it intends to criticize”

[protectjuminhan]

Bella, could you tell us a story of something (that you hadn't shared yet) that made your relationship with Matthew stronger? Only if you want/can, and ofc thank u in advance! It's really cute how you talk about him! Makes me kinda believe in love ;)

Awwe! This one is what happend next that day, if you read part one please. This was a moment where i was trying to held in so much, and it didnt work. and Matthew had his patience and composure tested. It defiantly made us stronger when we got home and talked it over. im sorry for the swearing but its necessary to tell the story.

Part two:

April 29th, 2014:

“Would you like some clothes? I know you have a limited amount of them.” He was right, i only owned what i could fit in my suitcase at the time, and what i picked up from smaller stores on sale. He had finaly come around and wasent mad anymore, because he got back into ‘Lets find something sexy to convince her to buy’ mode. His playful face when trying to help me shop is something i was to patent and sell to to the general public, because its SO DAMN CUTE. “What about here?” He point to a higher end fashion store, one i would have to pray to the gods to find something in my size.

“Maybe not that one..” But he had already went in ahead of me. I walked in, and was greeted by the store manager, i think. She looked me up and own and bluntly stated “You may want to try a different store. Nothing here will fit that.” Point to my stomach. She wasent even trying to spit at me or anything, she just stated it like she was bored and didnt want to help me look for no reason. RUDE ASS BITCH. So she turned around and noticed Matthew, and smiled. Oh. My. God. Im not a jealous person most of the time. Most.  “Can i help you sir? Trying to find something for a special lady? Anyone with you on their arm must be a goddess.” Oh, you didnt understand lady.

“Yeah, shes curvy, do you have anything that is ment for heavier chested girls?” He kinda stuttered a bit, because she was pretty, you guys know that drill.  “yes! this section over here is the plus size section. Girls with big boobs or a nice butt have this section, and smaller girls over there. i didnt think you the guy who likes a little meat on his women. She must be so pretty, with how handsome you are!” She was laying it on thick. Trying to eaither get his number, or him to buy something. I stood back because when i get mad, i get kicked out of places for being sarcastically rude. He smiled akwardly, and made his way to the sweater dress he was eyeing up from outside, seen its size, and proceeded to turn it down. it was going to be to tight. (I have a reaaaaaally big chest, so alot of outfits wont fit there or will ride up in the belly part to compensate for space.)

“yeah, shes wonderful. I asked her out in high school. I like her curves, Her skin is soft, and i dont mind that shes got a little more, beanpoles are hard to hug with these arms.” “and arms you do have sir.” She slurred at him. He walked over to the bra section, and found one close to something i already have. Black and grey plaid, with black lace around the edges, and they had one in my size. He took it off the shelf and took it to the counter, turning around to see me at the door, being very quiet. THEN THIS BITCH OH MY GOD. “Is she making you uncomfortable sir? I asked her to leave already, nothing here will fit her. “ Looking right at me “We dont service fat people. You lot ruin our brand look. Now get out.”

*insert sinister chuckle* You guys dont understand, Matthew and i haddent had our first fight yet. We had ran into this problem before, but not as bad. It got worse when i got pregnant, but we found a way to cope and make it funny by then. Let me make this next part clear. I had never seen Matthew tap into that “The fuck did you just say” Yandere side yet.   All guys have one when being protective of their S/o.

“Can you come here?” He was looking at me with eyes i could not describe. Those eyes you see when someone is being dead calm. Trying not to strangle someone on the spot dead calm. I stepped forward, a little hesitant, because i knew something was wrong. “Do like this? Its really pretty.” “Yeah, it looks like one i have at home.” “Good, I thought it looked nice.” ‘Umm, that is one i have a set for and its one i wear when we sleep together, of course you like it. Whats wrong?’ was my thoughts. He pulled out his card and paid for it without having me take money out of the jar. And hands me the bag after he paid for it. “Next time we fuck, please wear this one, okay? I like the way the colors compliment your eyes. Lets find another store to buy clothes. This ones staff is horrible to talk to, considering all she was doing was attempting to get in my pants. what bad service.”  

“Yeah, i hear (insert store) had amazing service.” He wrapped his arms around me with all the bags still in his hand, placing a kiss on my forehead. “Noone disrespects my Queen and gets my Queens money. If i really didnt want to see you in this, i wouldn’t have bought anything. Lets go, my Queen.” (thats his favorite endearment) Of course she had to open her mouth. “This girl is the one you came in here for? Are you kidding me? shes so out of your league! Shes ugly and Fat, Why her? You would do better with me. And did you say you fuck her? What is she doing, paying you?” “Nope, In fact i gave her nearly 2 grand today as a birthday and late one year anniversary present. Now shut your moth before i contact your Superior and report you for being rude to us. She didnt do anything to you, and who i love doesnt concern you. Now, stop being a trash whore and leave us alone. My Queen and i are gonna give our money to anyone but you.” His face indicated he was repeating a phrase in his mind ‘hitting people is a bad idea’

When we got out of the store, he was silent. Not a good sign from someone who never shuts up. We reach one of those areas where there are sofas and phone chargers, and take a seat on the love seat, adding the bag to the chain system i made to prevent thefts. He set all our bags down and a little roughly pulled me closer where my only option was to wrap my arm behind his back. I felt it then, he was trembling. Men who tremble are on the verge of beating someones ass, or breaking down. Matthew looked like both at the same time. hes very emotional, and i just didnt say anything. i heard little gasps, those you hear from someone trying really heard not to cry by sucking in breaths. those sounds alone were breaking my heart, because none of her words were at him.  

“W-Why do please have to be so rude to people? We might have spent more than she will have in other customers all day, but instead she chose to shoo you out over your weight.” I forced my other arm out, in order to put it on his head. i put light strokes on his scalp. a sure way to calm him down and get him to let his feelings out. Creatures of habit will always be ones of habit. “Shhhh, you dont need to be upset over her simple-mindedness.” I tried to say, but he just shook his head. “Im tired of people telling me who i can and cant love. You ARE a goddess to me. And because you dont fit a type, i cant love you in their eyes. Why? Why the fuck do they get to tell me what to do?” He was ranting. Not being quiet about it. We were getting stares. I highly doubt he gave a single fuck at this point. We always got stared at.

“Matthew, i dont care. Your choices are your own. Just like her opinions are her own. She cant make you do anything but leave the store. People Make choice all the time and this was one you made..” “You make it sound like i chose you like a breakfast cereal. Thats not how this works.” He let go a little so he could dip his head into my chest, a habit when he feels insecure about something. “If you left me, i would rather live alone forever. Your love made me fix so many things wrong in my family. You arent a choice. If you would let me, I want to be together forever.” He was crying, I felt the tears on my exposed area of my chest. Do i make him cry harder by accepting? Do i ignore his statement? Do i make him laugh? Yeah, default. “You mean i have to deal with your crazy ass forever? i dont know if i can handle the puns. Oh god…. The puns.” I felt a chuckle followed by a sob or two. Bingo.

“Am i crazy for loving you?” Oh Fuck. I didnt know what to say. You see, Matthew isent perfect. you guys get the silly sappy stories, but hes really insecure about people loving him. Hes been abandoned and treated like a walking piece of meat so much he feels confused about everything. He felt like the only permanent thing in his life was me. This is called emotional co-dependency in a relationship. its not all that healthy, but no ones perfect. Its that troupe of “If You leave me ill kill myself! i cant live without you!” Saw He this far deep? No, hes not like that. But thats the jist of it.

“No, You dont chose who you love. And if thats me, im happy to have you as my personal eye candy, Koibito. You take good care of me, and i love you so much. Dont think that i dont love you just as much. Plus, you didnt hit her so i congratulate you there.” (Koibito means lover, or sweetheart. I mean it as sweetheart. Hes half japanese and says it to me all the time.) He relaxes a bit, chuckling again. He looked up at me with his joke-serious face “Is that all i am to you? Eye candy?” “Only the finest, i mean you are the hot one in this relationship!” I poked at his side, in a really ticklish spot, and got the reaction i wanted. That laugh that could cure cancer “Dont do that here, you will get REKT.”

We spent the rest of the day hand in hand, in all the rest of the store. I deduced that there was near 3 grand in that jar, and we spent about a thousand of it. I got a new system behind his back, because i wanted to play together later. i mean you know mall prices. a system and two shirts is 500$ smh calm down.

The point that was made here, a loosley put together one at that, is that life does have a path for you. There will be times you can branch off, and make your own. Matthew chose to go with me that day in high school. Life is like a book. Each chapter is a year. You write your book by living. No one will have the same book as you do, but they can connect, like a crossover au. If you quit writing you book, the reader will get sad. i know for a fact unfinished fan fictions are a pain to come across. Pain from life is never gone, its only shared with someone else so it doesnt feel so bad. My pain was my anxiety and self consciousness about my looks. Im not as beautiful as he is in 60% of humanities eyes. People love to comment on it, Oh well.  

Human nature and their capriciousness isent something you can fix. You just hope they have enough respect to not comment on it. Why? Because every human on this earth is beautiful. No one deserves to be told they are not to a human standard. You being alive is amazing, and you should be loved and cherished. This made me and Matthew stronger because he finaly came out and admitted to himself that i wasent there because of his looks. I was there because i love him, and he loves me. This is hard to say in relationships. But saying it is so important.

So let me say it a little louder for those in the back.

Humanities capriciousness to judge others is not something that can be overcome through degradation.

Only trust, communication, and understanding can help people overcome the impulsion and unpredictable decisions people that have to degrade others, instead of being respectful. I hope anything of this helps you understand that everyone deserves love, and some people are just hateful i dont have time for it haha.