#yes the cake is caramel apple flavored on purpose!

[miscellaneoussmp]

I want my happy-ish domestic ending, so I wrote it myself. Anyways, here's Emi's sixteenth birthday (cw/tw: death mentions):

When Emi woke up, she was filled with excitement. Today, she was officially sixteen. She had lived one more year, and that was something, right? She had a relatively normal life now. She was adopted all those years ago. She goes to school and hangs out with friends like all teenagers her age do. After getting up from bed, she walked into the kitchen of the apartment, passing Luis, who was sleeping on the couch. A note was held on the fridge door with a magnet. It was from Benito. It said he had to go into work early, but hopefully, he'll be back in time to celebrate her birthday. It finished with him telling her to have a good day. Emi tried her best not to feel upset as she knew Benito was out here saving people. Like how he saved her. She made herself a bowl of cereal and sat on the arm rest of the couch where Luis slept. The tv was playing some old reality show that Emi didn't much care for.

School was pretty normal for Emi, aside from being given a few happy birthdays and a small gift of a cookie from a friend. There was only one hiccup in the day. Honestly, it really isn't a hiccup, just a surpise. A substitute teacher called full names on the roster, including hers Emilía-Lucie Camelo. When her adoption became official, she was allowed to change her name. She thinks it was meant for her to only change her last name, but when she added Lucie to her first name, Benito smiled so brightly at her. It was another way to keep Lucie's memory and legacy alive.

After school was over, Emi went back to the apartment she shared with Benito and Luis. Only Luis was home as it was his day off from working night-shift security at some fancy hotel. He greeted her and wished her a happy birthday while ruffling her head under her beanie. The two sat in comfortable silence while she did homework, and Luis did some minor chores. Near sunset, there was knocking at the door. When Luis opened the door, there stood Jeffrey and Diego. The two had been traveling around the world working through whatever they needed to work through. They still made time to be in Emi's life when possible as they, Diego mostly, took comfort in her being living proof of Lucie's memory. After a small group hug, they four took some time to eat a few snacks and watched some more trash tv together like a family would. They are a family afterall.

Benito came back just a bit after sunset with a cake and a few candles. It was too long after, when Emi sat at the dining table with a cake in front of her with some candles stuck in it. "She would be very proud of you if she was here, Emi," Diego spoke, and Emi's started to tear up. "Don't make her cry on her birthday, jackass." Benito immediately responded with both Luis and Jeffrey giving him 'what the fuck' type looks. Diego immediately apologized, saying sorry quickly in rapid secession. Emi found herself laughing softly as the candles were lit. She closed her eyes and blew out the candles. Her wish was for her to make what happened all those years ago worth it. Her birthday cake was caramel apple flavored.

[bakedfeminism]

So, it... V e g a n s        (Cupcakes)

Here’s an actual reason to smile, but only if you like cupcakes. This was my first vegan bake and I have to say it was so much easier than I expected. So, get ready to be kind to animals with this recipe.

(Quick aside: huskies are big, active dogs, not direwolves. Please don’t get ‘surprised’ when they are too big and send them to a pound. Adopt a shelter doggo instead!)

RESEARCH

First the condensed (soy) milk reason of my research concerning vegan substitutions:

1/4 cup of unsweetened applesauce = one egg

all-vegetable shortening = butter or margarine

soy milk = bean juice

BE SURE TO CHECK FOR GELATIN IN TOPPINGS. This includes sprinkles. You can also use egg replacers (which apparently a thing) instead of applesauce. Important tip-- if you add more than one cup of applesauce, the texture is likely to be off. The color will be darker from the caramelized sugar on the top as well. I made two batches. The first was heavier on the applesauce and lighter on the baking soda. This resulted in an apple cake flavor. The second round was more akin to a vanilla cake. I started with a yellow cake recipe and some confidence.

okay so some of you are like --ugh-- i like animal in my baked goods and you can’t make me be sensitive blahblahblah. *inhale* you trigger-warning-hating, Ebaum’s World disciple, devourers of cows can click here for the original yellow cake recipe:

https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/8051/four-egg-yellow-cake/

the rest of us are looking out for allergies, dietary restrictions, and generally enjoying branching out below. *exhale*

THE ACTUAL RECIPE

1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce (3/4 cup for apple cake taste)

1/2 cup all-vegetable shortening

1 cup white sugar (I like the texture of organic better, but you do you)

1 1/3 cup of all-purpose flour

1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda

1 1/3 cup soy milk

1.2 teaspoon salt (sea salt is my preference)

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Beat the shortening and sugar together in a large mixing bowl. Add the applesauce and then the vanilla. In a separate bowl, whisk or sift together the flour, baking soda, and salt together. (Why, yes! That is an Oxford comma; thank you for noticing.)  Combine the dry mix to the creamed mix, alternating the dry with soy milk. This ensures a consistent texture and rise. You may need to add a little more four if the mixture is too runny. Add in tablespoons as needed. The batter will only be a bit more slack than conventional batter. About as slack-jawed as a white man about to say, “Well, actually.”)

Fill a greased muffin tin to the top of the cupcake liners. You don’t have to use liners if you grease the pan sufficiently. However, liner will help you transport the cupcakes in one piece.

Bake for approximately 20-21 mins or until the toothpick test comes back clean.

Allow to cool at least one hour out of the tin, preferably on a wire rack. Then you can ice them. You can make icing with shortening and powdered sugar if you have got time for that. I just bought some store-brand after checking the ingredients.

Whether you want to eat animal products is a personal choice for some and a means of survival for others. It is not our place to judge the vegan path, just as the vegans in my life try not to be ideologues. No matter your baking style, I hope we can all agree to BURN THE PATRIARCHY AND NOT THE CUPCAKES.

[foodtrails25-blog]

  Fall is officially here and the weather is transitioning from warm and sunny days to gloomy days and cold nights.  It is almost a week and here it is raining on and off. You can’t go out for walks, staying inside all day kind of sulks me. Baking comes to my rescue and lifts up my energy levels, baking is therapeutic for me and especially in such a weather when you can’t step outside as it rains/snows all the time. The warmth of the oven and the aroma of freshly baked goodies lifts up my mood. Recently I baked this Fresh apple bread or tea cake as there are loads and loads of fresh harvest apple in stores. Though all around the year apples are there in stores baking with fresh apples has another charm to it. I bake with eggs and without eggs also. This apple bread is eggless and uses Chia gel as an egg-substitute and Chai Spice mix for flavor. Chia and Chai sound so much similar… So it’s Chai flavored Apple Bread with Chia seeds :).. Chai and Chia.😂 Chia seeds are one of the superfoods that are being used since ancient times. These are a good source of Omega-3 Fatty Acids, anti-oxidants and loads of vitamins and minerals. Chia gel is one of the best egg replacers that can be easily used in tea cakes/quick bread and muffins. The gel acts as the binding agent in baking, along with the nutritional value it adds to the bakes. Instead of using any commercial egg-replacer or xantham gum, always use natural egg-replacers like chia gel, yogurt, buttermilk made with milk and apple cider vinegar or flax-seed gel. Trust me these give excellent results without eggs.

Everyone loves their cinnamon flavored tea cakes/bread, tarts and pies, but somehow my folks don’t like the cinnamon flavor, may sound weird to you but yes, we don’t like much of the cinnamon flavor. All Cinnamon lovers please pardon us:). I usually use the Chai spice as a substitute for cinnamon in my bakes and trust me that tastes amazing. Chai spice/Masala is a combination of simple yet flavorful Chai/Tea spices that are used by many to flavor tea. Cloves, Black Pepper, Ginger Powder, Green Cardamom and a bit of Cinnamon combined together in a perfect blend to give the one of the most comforting spice blend. With the weather turning cold this Apple bread is perfect as a fall recipe with the right blend of flavors!! The bread can be baked in any loaf pan, round pan or bundt pan. I baked this bread twice within two days as the first one was finished in no time and next day my little one had a friend coming over with his mom so he asked me to bake the same cake (he usually calls it a cake!!)  for his friend. I don’t know why but I decided to bake it in my bundt pan the big one .. the cake baked nicely but it didn’t have the bundt cake look. But we all still enjoyed it and I packed some for my guests too. Let’s see how I baked this perfect Chai Spiced Apple Bread(Eggless). You can use the store-bought Chai Masala/Spice or make it at home. Will soon upload the Chai Masala post in next 2-3 days.

Ingredients used in this cake are 1:1 Whole Wheat Flour and All-Purpose flour,  1 cup of olive oil, 3/4 cup o brown sugar and 3/4 cup of castor sugar,  yogurt, apple cider vinegar and Chia seeds gel as an egg substitute and for moisture. Choose crisp apples to add in cakes. I use Green apples, Honey Dew Crisp or Apple Gala for making apple desserts.

Let’s start preparing for the cake..

Make Chia Gel, add a tsp of Chia seeds to 2 tbsps of water, mix it and let it stand for an hour or two. Make gel before an hour before making the cake. Chop the nuts.

  Peel and cut the apples into small 1/2  inch pieces. Add and mix a tsp of brown sugar and a tsp of chai masala to apples.

Preparing the batter takes just a few minutes if you have all the ingredients in hand. Just mix all the wet ingredients together and sift together the dry ingredients(flours, baking powder, baking soda and another tsp of spice mix) and then finally combine the two together, fold-in chopped nuts, spiced apples  and at the end before transferring the batter to cake pan add a tbsp of apple cider vinegar to the batter. Transfer the batter in a well-greased and dusted cake pan, and bake in a pre-heated oven at 350°F or 180°C for 40-50 minutes. The batter should be thick as the juice from apples will add some liquid to the batter while baking.

If you don’t have Chai spice then you can make it at home, click here for a recipe or you can mix 1 tsp of ginger powder, 1/2 tsp of cinnamon powder, crush 2-3 cloves, 4-5 peppercorns/black pepper or 1/2 tsp of black pepper powder, 1 tsp of green cardamom powder.

Black Peppers and Cardamom seeds crushed and mixed together

Dry Ginger Powder

Cinnamon Powder

Chai Spiced Apple Bread

Servings: 5-6

Time: prep time-10min; baking time-40 min

Difficulty: easy

Print

Chai Spiced Eggless Apple Tea Cake

Ingredients

Whole Wheat Flour- 1 Cup

All-Purpose Flour- 1 Cup

Light/Dark Brown Sugar- 3/4 Cup

Castor Sugar-3/4 Cup

Olive Oil- 1Cup

Yogurt- 1/2 Cup

Baking Powder- 1 Tsp

Baking Soda-1/2 Tsp

Salt- 1/2 Tsp

Apples-2

Walnuts and Almonds- 1/4 Cup

Apple Cider Vinegar- 1 Tbsp

Chai Spice -1 -2 Tsp

Chia Gel- 1 Tbsp

For Chai Spice

Dry Ginger Powder- 1 Tsp

Cinnamon Powder- 1/2 Tsp

Black Peppers- 3-4

Green Cardamom- 3-4

For Chai Gel

Chia Seeds- 1 Tsp

Water-  2 Tbsp

Directions

Mix Chia seeds and water. Let it stand for about an hour.

Peel and cut apples in 1/2 inch pieces and add a tbsp of brown sugar and spice mix.

Sift together both the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, 1 tsp of Chai spice together.

Mix together wet ingredients olive oil, brown sugar, yogurt, chia gel. Mix till the sugar dissolves.

Add the wet ingredients in dry. Fold in the mixture. Don’t beat the mixture just, combine the ingredients.

Fold in half of the nuts and spiced apples.

Add apple cider vinegar just before transferring the batter to cake pan.

Transfer the batter to a well-greased and dusted cake pan.

Top it with remaining spiced apple pieces and nuts.

Bake in a pre-heated oven at 350°F or 180°C for 40-50 mins.

Check if the cake is done using a toothpick.

Once done, take out of the oven, transfer it to a cooling rack, cut and serve enjoy with butterscotch or caramel sauce. or your cuppa hot coffee/chai.

Kids loved the bread with scoops of vanilla ice cream topped with my homemade Butterscotch Sauce. I and hubby enjoyed it with our cuppa of evening Chai/Tea. A slice of Chai with a sip of Chai sounds delicious na!!!

I am sure you and your loved ones will surely love this warm apple bread with all the spices that keep you warm. Do give your feedback and follow the blog to get updates and new recipes on the blog.

Thanks for stopping by!!

Chai Spiced Whole Wheat Apple Bread(Eggless) Fall is officially here and the weather is transitioning from warm and sunny days to gloomy days and cold nights. 

[wdcornelison]

A Quick Guide to Gluten Free Halloween Candy

When we started our gluten-free journey, I naively thought it would be somewhat easy. Yes, pre-packaged foods would be hard. Restaurants wouldn't be easy. Trying to find gluten free candy was not even on my radar.

Until Halloween and Christmas. There is something about the months of October, December, February, March, and April that bring out the candy.

We don't normally have candy in our house, and when we do, I put it in the pantry or cabinet so it's not the first thing we see and grab for.  Just call me the mean mom. Ha!

I made a HUGE assumption that most candy would be okay because why in the world would it contain gluten.

Boy, was I wrong.

Before you buy any more candy, make sure to read this list to make sure it's safe. It's no fun to be glutened. Our favorite “safe” candy is the Yummy Earth lollipops. They are delicious, vegan, and gluten free! They were great motivators when we were potty training.

If you have friends and family looking for gluten free treats that your family can eat, or if you are looking for ideas of what to buy for a party where gluten free candy is needed, this is your list.

Remember that is list is not exhaustive. It's also subject to change given that manufacturers change their formulations and ingredients from time to time. Use it as a guide, but also read the labels.

Gluten Free Candy

Tootsie Roll Industries

Tootsie Rolls

Fruit Rolls

Junior Mints

Frooties

Dots

Tropical Dots

Crows

Cella's Milk Chocolate Covered Cherries

Cella's Dark Chocolate Covered Cherries

Junior Mints

Dubble Bubble

Charleston Chew

Junior Caramels

Tootsie Pops

Tootsie Peppermint Pops

Caramel Apple Pops

Fruit Smoothie Pops

Tropical Stormz Pops

Child's Play

Charms Blow Pops

Charms Super Blow Pops

Charms Pops

Zip-A-Dee-Mini Pops

Fluffy Stuff Cotton Candy

Sugar Daddy Pops

Sugar Mama Caramels

Charms Squares

Charms Sour Balls

Charms Candy Carnival

Pops Galore

Andes

Sugar Babies

On their website, Tootsie Roll Industries also says that their confections are peanut free!

The Hershey Company

Almond Joy Candy – All Except Almond Joy Pieces Candy

Mounds

Hershey's Kisses

Hershey’s Hugs Candy

Hershey’s Kisses Milk Chocolate Filled with Caramel

Hershey’s Kisses Milk Chocolate Filled with Cherry Cordial Crème

Hershey’s Kisses Filled with Vanilla Crème

Hershey’s Kisses Dark Chocolate Filled with Mint Truffle

Hershey’s Kisses Pumpkin Spice Flavored Candies

Hershey’s Kisses Carrot Cake 

Hershey’s Kisses Meltaway Milk Chocolates

Hershey’s Kisses Milk Chocolate

Hershey’s Kisses Special Dark Mildly Sweet Chocolate

Hershey's Kisses – Candy Cane

Hershey's Kisses – Kiss Deluxe

Hershey's Kisses – Espresso

Hershey's Kisses Creamy Milk Chocolate

Hershey's Kisses Creamy Milk Chocolate with Almonds

Hershey's Nuggets

Hershey’s Nuggets Milk Chocolates

Hershey’s Nuggets Milk Chocolate with Almonds

Hershey’s Nuggets Special Dark Chocolate with Almonds

Hershey’s Nuggets Extra Creamy Milk Chocolate with Toffee and Almonds

Hershey's Nuggets Special Dark Chocolate

Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bar

Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Bar (1.55oz only)

Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Bar with Almonds (1.45oz only)

Hershey's Special Dark  Snack Bars

Hershey's Milk Duds

Heath Bars (all)

Payday Candy – All, including PayDay Snack Bites.

Reese’s Fast Break Bar

Reese’s Nutrageous BarReese's Bars

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups – All Except Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Unwrapped Minis and Seasonal Shaped Item

Reese’s Pieces Candy – All Except Reese’s Pieces Eggs

Reese's Pieces Peanut Butter Cups

Rolo® Caramels in Milk Chocolate Candies – All Except Rolo® Minis

Skor Toffee Bars – All

York Peppermint Patties – All Except York Pieces Candy,  Sugar-Free Peppermint Patties, York Minis, and York Shapes (5 oz.)

Seasonal candy should be avoided as it is typically made on shared equipment and there is a risk of cross-contamination.

Nestlé USA

Butterfinger bars (fun size, singles, and share pack)

Goobers

Nips

Raisinets

Cranberry

Dark Chocolate

Toll House morsels and chunks

Baby Ruth

Bit-O-Honey

Milk Chocolate

SweeTARTS

Oh Henry!

Sno-Caps

Wonka Pixy Stix

Laffy Taffy

Wonka Lik-M-Aid Fun Dip

Wrigley

Creme Savers

Lifesavers

Skittles

Starburst

From their website, “While some Wrigley products may contain gluten, the majority of our products are gluten-free. In general, we avoid using ingredients that contain gluten where they serve no functional purpose or can be replaced by gluten-free alternatives; however, ingredients and formulas may vary between regions. When the use of ingredients containing gluten is critical to the product taste experience, we follow all labeling requirements to allow our consumers to make an informed choice. We always advise consumers who are concerned about food sensitivities to read the label and check with their doctor if they have questions.”

JellyBelly

“Jelly Belly jelly beans are gluten free, peanut free, dairy free, fat-free and vegetarian-friendly.”

Just Born

Mike and Ike Berry Blast

Mike and Ike Italian Ice

Mike and Ike Jolly Joes

Mike and Ike Lemonade Blends

Mike and Ike Original Fruits

Mike and Ike Redrageous

Mike and Ike Tangy Twister

Mike and Ike Tropical Typhoon

Mike and Ike Zours

Mike and Ike Jelly Beans

Mike and Ike Hot Tamales

Goldenberg's Vintage Peanut Chews

As for Peeps, check the packaging. If they are gluten-free, the packaging will state that.

Impact Confections Inc.

Carousel/Color-Blaster Pops

Lollipop Paint Shop

Warheads Extreme Sour Hard Candy

Warheads Extreme Sour Hard Candy Minis

Warheads Sour Chewy Cubes

Warheads Super Sour Double Drops

Warheads Super Sour Spray Candy

Warheads Sour Dippers

Melster Chocolate-Covered Marshmallow

Melster Compound-Coated Marshmallow

Melster Chocolate-Covered Creme Drops

Melster Compound Coated Creme Drops

Melster Salt Water Taffy

Melster Peanut Butter Kisses

Melster Circus Peanuts

Melster Sanded Marshmallow

Melster Coconut Toasties

NECCO®

Necco Wafers

Necco Chocolate Wafers

Candy House Candy Buttons

Canada Mint, Wintergreen and Spearmint Lozenges

Mary Jane

Mary Jane Peanutbutter Kisses (available for Halloween only)

Banana Splits Chews

Mint Julep Chews

Haviland Thin Mints, Wintergreen Patty, Nonpareils and Chocolate Stars

Skybar

Sweethearts (for Valentine's Day only)

Conversation Hearts (available for Valentine's Day only)

Mary Jane peanut butter kisses (for Halloween only)

Ferrara Candy Company

Bob's Candy Canes

Brach's Candy Canes

Atomic Fireballs

Black Forest gummies

Ferrara gummies

Sathers gummies

Trolli gummies

Gum Drops

Orange Slices

Bob's Sweet Stripes

Boston Baked Beans

Brach's Wild ‘N Fruity Gummi Worms

Brach's Cinnamon Disks/Imperials

Brach's Conversation Hearts

Brach's Lemon Drops

Cherry Sours

Ferrara Fruit Snacks

Black Forest Fruit Snacks

Trolli Fruit Snacks

Gumballs

Jawbreakers

Jelly Beans

Juju's

Jujy's

Lemonheads

Lemonheads & Friends Conversation Hearts

Tropical Chewy Lemonhead

Chewy Lemonhead & Friends

Berry Chewy Lemonhead

Cherryhead

Grapehead

Now & Later

Red Hot's

Making Gluten Free Candy Buying Less Scary

Did you realize there were so many candy brands? I hope this list has made candy shopping a little less scary. If you have any questions about whether a candy is gluten-free or not, call the 1-800 number on the packaging. With the manufacturing code, they should be able to tell you exactly where the product was manufactured and whether it the ingredients are gluten-free or not.

The post A Quick Guide to Gluten Free Halloween Candy appeared first on Beauty in the Mess.

from A Quick Guide to Gluten Free Halloween Candy

[cakesbychantalllc]

  WARNING: “For the Grown and Cake Lovers Only”

Today I want to connect with your soul. Ooouuu, you are so damn good!! I crave it all day. Anytime, anyplace; I CAN NOT sleep until I get some! No off brand will do, I am stuck on you like glue. I will skip dinner for a piece of you. I want it all! I will not stop until everyone has a chance to sample my cake. I want to slowly spread my cake across the world! Intimately expose yourself to me, show me what you are willing to do for this cake. How far will you go? Slowly devour this cake, show me how much you love it. Tell me how you like it….

Do you like it chocolate ?

Death By Chocolate Cupcakes

Death By Chocolate Cupcakes

Death By Chocolate

My chocolate cake is the ideal mocha with a mouth bursting creamy glaze filling. My rich moist chocolate cake will have you ready to slap your momma. While you are looking for me in the day time with a flash light. Devouring every crumb, I will have you cleaning your plate with these groceries. Once you get this cake you will NEVER go back to another!

Eat it slowly!

I know you could not help yourself. Stick your finger in it, take a taste.It is your turn, so enjoy this experience. Eat my cake slowly!  Let my flavors bounce all over your taste buds.  Would you mind thinly glazing my cake all over… deeply penetrating your taste buds all the way down to your warm center. Drizzle me slowly and cover me with your nuts!  Keep eating until the only thing left is the sweet memory of your thick butter cream filling my chocolate cake. Leaving  you with an oral satisfaction craving for more.  You were amazing I will be back…. until next time!

Does size matter?

Hell yes, size matters? I have to spread this cake all over the world one slice at a time! We need to make sure we have enough for everyone to get a piece. No man is angry when a moist piece of cake is in their hand or more importantly in their mouth! My cakes will be devoured all over the world, it will be a house hold name. The place to go to for the best cake on earth!

Eat My Cake!

Fall in love with  our fall flavors: Upside Down Peach Cake infused with Rum, Pumpkin Spice, Caramel Apple, and Pumpkin. This holiday knock your family’s socks off with a custom cake from Cakes By Chantal LLC! Cakes By Chantal creates cakes with the highest quality of ingredients form scratch with old fashion elbow grease and designs every cake custom. You deserve a cake as unique as you are to celebrate your special event. You’ve tried the rest, now try the best. Go get your cake, schedule your free consultation online today!!! It is always better homemade!

Come back for more!

About Chantal

The 2017 America’s Best Bakers Ohio Queen; Chantal considers herself the “Soul Baker”. She is a baker, mother, cook, poet and instructor. She specializes in home baked goods made from scratch with old fashion elbow grease and love. As a child, her favorite tradition was hearing people sing “Happy Birthday” with the cake and candles. She did not care about presents.

Chantal has been baking for about 7 years. As a single mother she wanted to make a difference in her and her daughter’s lives. Chantal obtained 2 Computer Science degrees while taking care of her daughter. After graduating she was offered a position in her field of study. After many prayers, she took the step of faith and started Cakes By Chantal.

  Free consolation: Click Here To Schedule A Consultation

Don’t have time to bake?   Contact Us Today 

  Disclaimer: This policy is valid from 24 July 2017

 This blog is a personal blog written and edited by me. For questions about this blog, please contact  Chantal DeNae’ (Cakes By Chantal L.L.C).

 This blog does not accept any form of advertising, sponsorship, or paid insertions. We write for our own purposes. However, we may be influenced by our background, occupation, religion, political affiliation or experience.

 This blog abides by word of mouth marketing standards. We believe in honesty of relationship, opinion and identity. The compensation received may influence the advertising content, topics or posts made in this blog. That content, advertising space or post will be clearly identified as paid or sponsored content.

 The owner(s) of this blog is not compensated to provide opinion on products, services, websites and various other topics. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog owners. If we claim or appear to be experts on a certain topic or product or service area, we will only endorse products or services that we believe, based on our expertise, are worthy of such endorsement. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider.

 This blog does contain content which might present a conflict of interest. This content may not always be identified.

To get your own policy, go to http://www.disclosurepolicy.org

The Chronicles of the Obscenest Baker: Spreading My Cake All Over The World! WARNING: “For the Grown and Cake Lovers Only” Today I want to connect with your soul. Ooouuu, you are so damn good!!

[the-grumpy-panda]

Never Tested On Real Pandas!

Flying a bit free and loose here. No rhyme, reason, or time frame. Just stuff what I done ate at some point and had a thought about. Gotta take it easy in preparation for the Halloween junk food onslaught fast approaching. Although I did randomly find the 2017 Monster Cereals already on shelves in mid-August, so I'm 3/4ths of the way done with my yearly Halloween must haves. Once the Little Debbie Pumpkin Delights pop up, everything else is just an afterthought. So this write up may be brief. I'll quietly creep in... leave my musings scattered about... and quietly creep out. Just like when I visit Danielle Harris. Wait... Or it may not be brief. One never knows. I might go on a tangent about the 1962 Jackie Gleason film "Gigot" or maybe Ghoulies IV. You've been warned. Anyway. Let's snack! -Peanut Butter and Jelly Oreo cookies! First off, why are they so vague about the jelly? It's just called "jelly." Not a specific flavor of jelly. Odd. Anyway. The peanut butter dominates the taste, you have to really try to suss out the jelly. Which is a shame, because once you do the combination works surprisingly well. Until the jelly portion hits, it's just a bit of a bland and dry peanut butter gumming up your mouth. It needs the jelly part to cut through that. Not that it's a real "jelly," it is still a cookie cream consistency, but it seems a softer cream, and is a bit sweeter. A little more jelly on the cookie, and you would have had something here, Nabisco. And since you won't give it a flavor attribute, I'm going to call it "Doo-Doo Jelly." Look at me all adult like! -Aunt Jemima Very Berry Griddle Poppers! Was iffy on buying these. As previously mentioned, frozen waffles aren't my thing. Frozen pancakes are also an item I generally avoid. They just seem rubbery and make me sad. But for a couple of months now these things kept catching my eye as I would walk down the frozen food aisle. Not sure why they did, or why I finally gave in, but a Grumpy Panda with a rumbling tummy is easily swayed. So here we have little balls of pancake like stuff with pieces of "fruit" laced throughout. Eh. just as I suspected. No different taste wise than a frozen pancake. If you like those, I suppose you'll like these. While I'll admit these aren't the worst frozen pancake product I've had, they're still not for me. -Oreo-O's cereal! I never had this cereal when it was first on shelves, so I have no nostalgic memories for comparison. Other than knowing this version doesn't have the marshmallows that it's forebear did, this is a whole new cereal to me. Tastes of an extremely dry and far too crunchy chocolate cereal, not much of an Oreo presence. Is the supposed addition of milk meant to simulate the cream portion of an Oreo? These were a bit of a dud. There are far better, and less tooth breaking, chocolate cereals out there. -Honey Maid S'mores cereal! Tastes exactly like what I thought they would be. Take some Golden Grahams, take some Cocoa Puffs, take any cereal marshmallow and mix them together... you now have Honey Maid S'mores cereal. It wasn't bad, but not all that impressive either. Had it not distinctly reminded me of other cereals, maybe it could have gotten a better ranking, -Little Debbie S'mores Rolls! Let me get one thing straight right at the start... I fuc*in' love these things. Little Debbie had a s'more cake thing before a few years back, but it was way closer to a s'more, with a graham cookie sandwich thing going on, than this roll. I don't care. This roll is heavenly. The smell, the heft, the abundance of cream, the taste... magical. I want these to be a permanent fixture, but then again I don't. I would never be able to stop myself from buying a box whenever I entered a store selling them. -Mac n' Cheetos frozen snacks!  Because I wasn't paying attention, I accidentally picked up the Flamin' Hot version of this "treat." I'm not a fan of overly hot/spicy things, but I'll give these a go since they're here. In case you don't know, these are little mac and cheese bite things with a crispy/crunchy coating. In this case, the coating (and even shape of these) is meant to resemble a puffy Cheeto. Hmm. The coating is very thick and certainly overpowers the whole thing. The inside is pretty bland and consists of quite cheap mac and cheese, (which should surprise no one, really) and not actually all that cheesy all things considered. And yes, there is a hot kick that stays after chewing that is not my thing. So they got that right, I'm just not the one who enjoys such things. I personally can't recommend these. As a one and done experiment, I guess its just alright. I imagine a younger or a drunker person would have better things to say about them. -Toaster Strudel Strawberry Cupcake pastries! I was really expecting these to be a sugar overload. They're very muted truth be told, and not once was I reminded of a cupcake. The cream inside reminded me more of a custard, and while the icing has a faint strawberry note about it, unless eaten on its own, it gets lost in the fray of crust and filling. Not the best Toaster Strudel, but I can't really detract from it too much, honestly. It serves its purpose, and it tastes alright. It just doesn't taste like a strawberry cupcake. It's more like a Boston cream pie with a very, very faint dash of strawberry flavoring. -Jelly Belly Krispy Kreme doughnut flavored jelly beans! I have no idea when I went looking for these, or even when I had heard of them, but a few days ago I received notification from Jelly Belly that this particular flavor was back in stock. Okay, you stalkers. Trying to ply me with kooky junk food as if I'd fall for such a dangerous ploy. Nice try! So I bought some. Then I ate them. There are five flavors, and here's the breakdown. 1. Cinnamon Apple Filled! Of course. My least possible favorite doughnut is the first one in the mix. Definitely a very sweet cinnamon flavor right at the front. The apple is very faint, but noticeable as you chew. I like these better than the actual doughnut, but not a jelly bean I'd seek out all the same. 2. Strawberry Iced! This one took a long time for any flavor to kick in, and when it did it was very faint. I wouldn't say "strawberry iced doughnut" is what comes through, though. It really just tastes of sugary gelatin. 3. Original Glazed! Well, again, a very muted flavor that comes into play at the back end. Because I know it's supposed to taste like a doughnut, I do get a sense of that. If this were just a random jelly bean I was eating, though, my guess would have been a simple caramel jelly bean. 4. Glazed Blueberry Cake! Wow. They nailed this one. The gelatin aspect aside, this tastes like a glazed blueberry doughnut. Good job on this one. 5. Chocolate Iced With Sprinkles! I am again impressed with this one. I wouldn't say it tastes anything like a doughnut, but it absolutely tastes exactly like the chocolate glaze used on their doughnuts. No sprinkle aspect, either, but I don't care. This is just a damn good chocolate jelly bean. And that's that. Easy. Breezy. Beautiful. Grumpy Panda.