#yes that was the lamest joke ever

[gaymaramada]

Rise! Boys reacting to S/O using their full name:

Y’all know that tiktok trend where ppl were calling their partners by their first name? This is basically that.

Leonardo

He’s definitely caught off guard, physically recoiling when you say it, “Whoa?? Government name??”

He makes a few jokes about it but inside he’s genuinely nervous that you’re mad at him.

When you don’t stop, he immediately assumes he did something to upset you and begins to defend himself.

“Look, I know I’ve had to cancel our last few dates, but these villains are getting crazy! I’m not trying to avoid you, I just— how about we do something tonight, yeah? I promise I won’t flake out, okay?”

Is low key on his knees begging for you to forgive him.

He doesn’t even know what he’s apologizing for, poor thing.

He’s extra sweet to you for the rest of the day, going out of his way to compliment you, ask how you’re doing, care for you—

You two are out and he breaks into a full sprint to open a door for you that you won’t reach for another three minutes.

When you eventually explain it was just a trend, he gets super embarrassed but tries to brush it off.

“Oh. Yeah, yeah, I knew that. I was just playing along for the joke, heh. Duh.”

Donatello

Uh, no. He must have misheard you.

He does a full 180 at his workbench and all but yanks his goggles off his eyes, “Pardon, what did you just call me?”

He’s almost offended because that is not his name when you two are alone.

Hell, it’s not even his name when you’re not alone — it’s just Donnie.

He immediately abandons whatever he’s working on and starts typing up a list of all the pet names you two use with each other.

“As you are already aware, my terms of endearment tend to range from ‘dear’ to ‘darling’ to ‘my love’ in the majority of our interactions.”

“You often refer to me as ‘D’, ‘honey’, ‘love’, and — my personal favorite — ‘Einstein’. Never once in the length of our relationship have you ever called me by my full name.”

He’s petty about it because, in truth, he doesn’t know why it bothers him so much.

It’s just his name.

But something about the way you say it so casually just feels very wrong.

When you tell him about the trend, he’s even more perplexed.

“What kind of ‘trend’ is that? That is the lamest idea I’ve ever heard of. Please, for the sake of both our sanities, just call me Donnie.”

“… or Einstein. That’s good, too.”

Raphael

Oh, he is immediately worried and it shows, “Are you okay? Did… did I do something?”

The two of you use pet names religiously, so hearing you say all three syllables of his name is jarring.

He’ll ask you if there’s anything he can do for you and give you space when he thinks you need it.

Which would be very sweet if you were actually upset, but you’re not.

He misses being called ‘Raphie’ and ‘bubs’ and ‘sweetheart’.

Eventually he takes your hands and says, “I’m sorry if I made you upset, or if I’m just being dramatic, but… Raph loves you, and he just wants you to remember that.”

And that’s all it takes for you to cave in and tell him about the trend.

“Aw, honey, don’t do that to me! You know I get all worried about that kind of stuff. I’m glad you’re not mad at me, though — I was starting to miss your nicknames.”

“Sorry, bubs,” You say, and his tail is wagging immediately.

Michelangelo

He’s not too phased at first.

Like yes, that’s his name.

But then you keep doing it and he starts getting confused.

He doesn’t get why you’re doing it but he won’t stop you.

He does get a bit self-conscious after a bit, though, when it’s the only thing you call him.

He tries to subtly guide you into using nicknames throughout the day.

“Don’t worry, Mikey’s got it!”

“Hey, there you are! Your loving sweet potato made you some lunch!”

“Aw, come on Y/N! Could you say no to this cutie pie?”

Eventually, he’s had enough, and you find yourself in a stern confrontation with Dr. Delicate Touch.

When you explain that it’s just a trend, he immediately pulls back.

“Oh! That makes way more sense! I was starting to think you’d just forgotten all my pet names, or something!”

[bluexiao]

—cyno w/ a s/o who laughs easily | a request | fluff, crack | this is short but sweet i swear

CYNO

Who could’ve known that the General Mahamatra’s lover could be so… jolly?

That is and will always be the very first impression others would always have with you, especially after witnessing a new side of the General Mahamatra where he just spits joke after joke each time you’re there—it’s as if… he just knows that at least someone will laugh for him, and of course, that someone is you.

And yes, he does know that he can make you laugh easily, but that was not the only reason why he does think of new jokes on a daily basis just to tell them to you or to anyone around you whenever you’re there with him.

The first and utmost reason would be to hear you laugh.

He just loves it whenever he hears you laugh or chuckle, or giggle, or even when you holler after coming across a funny situation that would almost make you cry from laughter.

He’d just look at you as if you hung the stars, or if he has his close friends with you such as the traveler, Collei and/or Tighnari, they’d have to stop themselves from cringing at that shit-eating grin on his face—a sign of victory for hitting a bullseye if he hears you laugh out loud.

“Stop that, you look stupid,” Tighnari would comment, and even still, Cyno would have a smirk on his face as he watched you laugh at the situation.

(“Master, I think it’s time for us to go,” Collei would say, whereas Tighnari would agree immediately)

If he does see you laughing at another person’s joke, ah. Get ready for him to come up with the lamest jokes ever (because he’s not prepared to come across a challenger... ok?) and you’ll probably end up laughing at how he says all of those jokes with a blank look, arms crossed as if those words didn’t even come out of his mouth. He’s quite competitive, you see.

reblogs & comments are greatly appreciated ♡

taglist on reblogs!

[elusivecagedmockingbird]

Lights Out, Words Gone

[yoongi x reader] [1.4k+ friends to lovers, light angst]

A/N: So, there was an attempt, by me. Heh. I'm just really trying to get back into creative writing. I used to enjoy writing, but no one told me that turning that into a career and years of writing newsletters and articles for corporate dulls the mind and at this point, even journaling feels like a chore. But if you found this fic and somewhat enjoyed it, I'm grateful.

-

It's ridiculous, you think to yourself. How can someone be easily disarmed by a smile?

One minute, you're furiously driving at 2 a.m. to fetch Yoongi from a dive bar—miles and hours from where you live so you're well within reason to cuss him out; the next, you're giggling next to him after he told you the lamest joke you've ever heard.

"Y/N, what did the full glass of water say to the empty glass of water?"

In no mood for his shenanigans, you slide the bottle of water you bought during the drive over, closer to him. Unperturbed, he continues with a grin, "You look drunk."

You let out an annoyed sigh. The joke doesn't even make sense, and yet, because it's Yoongi's gummy smile and his contagious giggles that echo across the empty chairs and fills the bar, your mood shifts.

Suddenly, you snort a laugh. Hearing your amusement, his giggles turn into hearty laughs, and you follow.

Yoongi catches his breath after a minute and fluffs his hair. Suddenly, he looks so soft and cuddly. You feel your breath winded.

Feeling compelled to break the silence, you tease, "Did you steal that joke from Jin?" You don't wait for an answer. You usher Yoongi out of the corner of the bar he hid himself in and he lets you push him out as he weakly argues, "Did not. I thought of it myself. I can make funny jokes too, you know." You hum in response, amused by the pout forming on his face.

-

Yoongi trudges straight to his bedroom as soon as you arrive in his place. You follow, wanting to at least make sure he's tucked in with a bucket on his side of the bed—a precaution, lest he hurls his guts in bed, which rarely happens. But better to be safe than sorry.

You eye Yoongi as he grabs a shirt from his drawer and take that as your cue to leave.

"Stay the night," his voice gravelly. You stop mid-journey out the door.

What.

"Uh, Yoongi—"

"It's too late to drive," he crosses the room and pulls your hand to take his shirt. "And if you think I'm letting you take the couch, I'm offended. Sleep here."

A beat passes. "It's not like we haven't shared a bed before," he winks.

Right. As if you'd forget. You remember all too well how Yoongi gets needy and cheesy when drunk—which is why you hesitate. You need to distance yourself before your feeling overwhelms you and make you do something you would regret.

"Remember hell weeks shared in Jin's fancy dorm room? You snored like a fucking berserk honking truck," he chuckles, probably remembering those younger versions of you whose only problems were exams and thesis defense.

The nostalgia hits you, and you quip, "Ya! I remember Jungkook and I pulling an all-nighter for all those times. It was actually you who loudly snored."

Yoongi erupts in soft gummy giggles as you playfully give him the stink eye.

-

Laying stiff beside him, you almost succeed in willing your mind to slip into dreamland when you hear comforters shuffling until you feel him closer to you.

"You awake?" he faces you. "I am now," you huff. You open your eyes to adjust to the dim room, the only light source coming from the street lamp post outside his bedroom window and the tiny static light of your charging phone on the bedside table.

"I just…" he starts, "I wanted to thank you for picking me up. The guys were either out of town or probably too deep in their sleep to hear their phones ring."

"Yes, well… I was on the other side of the town and deep in sleep when you called." You weren't sure what your point was. Probably wanted him to know that you know he definitely did not call anyone else but you tonight.

But of course, he knows that you know. He knows he can't bullshit you. Not when you used to spend every waking moment since you met in college, which was almost 24/7, since you barely slept then. Years of friendship synced you together—getting used to one's idiosyncrasies, being able to read each other across the room, and sharing the same opinion on all things you deemed important.

"And yet you still came. I'm surprised you actually picked up after weeks of radio silence."

Yoongi starts to pick at his nails, his anxiety peaking. Atuned to even his habits, your hands reach to envelop his and you rest your cheeks atop.

"I actually thought it was one of my booty calls," you joke. He doesn't laugh or react, so you turn serious, "I'm your friend, of course, I'll come get you."

Always.

You smile at him, "It actually wasn't a bother. Get some rest, Yoongi." Thinking you ended the conversation, he suddenly confronts you, "You say that but you suddenly cut me off. Why?"

Ah.

Now, you consider if he orchestrated the whole thing. Trying to corner you so he could finally confront you. It wouldn't be out of his character.

You unclasp your hands.

"I didn't cut you off," you lamely defend yourself and hope he lets it go.

Again, this is Yoongi who's calling you out. You can't evade him just like he can't bullshit you. So he holds out.

"Right. So you suddenly dodging my calls and missing weekly hangouts when I'm available to join, is what? Coincidence?" His voice remains calm, but you would miss how it sounds heavier if you hadn't known him for years. Each word is weighed down with pent-up emotion, and now those fueled words hit you like bricks.

"I've gotten busy. Everyone did after graduation." A half lie, half truth.

He shifts a bit closer to you. "You know, even in the dark, I can tell when you're lying, right? I may not see how your eyes get shifty, but your voice has that lilt at the end when you speak. Almost as if you're also trying to make yourself believe in your lie."

You can already feel the onset of a headache from your lack of sleep, but what's more pressing is how your heart dreads being this close to him again, even more so now that you're being called out and you have no excuse. At least nothing good enough to pass Yoongi.

As the minute passes, the silence thickens, and you feel yourself growing even more tired. It could be from the drive, lack of sleep, or that you just fucking had the most mentally-draining shift just hours before that you finally resigned with honesty. Besides, now that you take a glance at his curled-up form beside you, you admit that he, at least, deserves to know why you distanced yourself.

Yoongi has been your best friend for years—the one who made sure to look into your eyes as he encouraged you to take the extra classes because if you thought it would help you secure the job of your dreams, then he believed it would pay off in the end, and you needed to believe that, too.

Yoongi, who held your hand when you went through mental and emotional hurdles. You honestly believe you wouldn't be here now, living and breathing, had it not been for him.

If only the way you looked at him stayed the same, and how his hands felt in yours remained unnoticed, like those days when he held you as you hurled your guts at bar restrooms after chugging down cheap vodka and beers.

If only your affection towards Yoongi didn't root themselves in what you thought was your uninhabitable heart and grow its tendrils over the years of laughing, crying, and sharing even the most mundane moments with him.

And so you will be honest, but you don't know where to start other than offering an apology.

"I'm sorry, Yoongi. I fucked up," tears brim your eyes but you look at him. You let your repressed emotions out and they're coming out all at once, and you're getting overwhelmed. But you need him to know.

He has to know.

Yoongi doesn't respond but motions for you to continue. It's his turn to take your cold hand and warms it between his calloused palms.

You glance at your hands, then at him in the dark and it is during this delicate moment that you let it out, "I seem to have fallen in love with you."

How cliche, you rebuke yourself. Cringing a bit at how you phrased your confession.

You hear him let out a — was it out of relief or disappointment, you're unsure.

You shift your eyes to the window behind him and get a glimpse of the rising sun. The aura of the sunrise breaking the dark blue night sky.

You don't know how many seconds, minutes passed. Yoongi remains silent.

Oh god. Surely this can't be a good thing.

You should leave now.

Unwillingly, you pry your hands away, but before you could even move another muscle, Yoongi finally breaks his silence,

"Then I fucked up, too."

-

>> Read Lights Out, Words Spill

[hockeyandhrsepwr]

Birthday boy

*little Trevor Zegras x best friend (👀) reader insta edit for his birthday**

yourusername

liked by jamie.drysdale, _quinnhughes & others

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view all comments

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TrevorZegras

liked by JackHughes, anaheimducks & others

TrevorZegras best birthday present I could’ve asked for #upgrades #shesmygfnow 

view all comments

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Xxx

[kiwi-channn]

just a drawing

(part 3)

Older Simon Riley × fem reader (artist)

∆ artist reader sees ghost while he is patrolling her city and she wanna draw ghost but he refuses ∆

Part 1 - part 2 - part4

............🌻🌻🌻...........

It was a beautiful calm night in that restaurant... Simon was wearing a nice black classic shirt... He feels so stupid, thinking he dressed too nicely ... He really wanna leave now .. it is just that she has a way with words ... Since he met her or she got stuck with him... She always makes him go wherever she wants... He thinks that she is really convincing...but He still doesn't know why he is complying with her?!...

and since that day at the beach, he has been thinking about her a lot.. it is intriguing... he needs to stop it before he gets too stuck..

He looks at his watch and sighs ...

...: hey..

He looks beside him and sees her finally coming to sit across from him on this elegant table...

"how you're doing?"... y/n Says with a soft smile... And you are wearing a pretty cute dress, as classic as him... The dress shows your soft feminine frame...

Simon just looks at her from her head to her toes before she sits down... And luckily y/n didn't notice he just checked her out...

He clears his throat and puts on a stoic face...

"Iam good... And you?.."

"I am okay... You won't believe what happened when I was waiting for my upper!... Listen listen..." And she just starts talking about whatever... She likes how he listens to her...

At first when she talked to him, she thought he didn't listen nor focus on her at all... So she stops talking suddenly in the middle of her little story ... And she discovered that he really has been listening.. he is just too calm because he asked her about a detail... Since then... She felt so comfortable with him... But she really still wanna convince him to let her draw him... she won't give up at all...

So they had dinner.. a nice meal...

At the end of their good "time" ... Y/n takes out her purse to get out her credit card to pay for her meal...

Simon just just looks at her in a certain way ... And she looks back at him and chuckles...

Y/n: "what?... Did I do something?..."

"No... Just... I didn't expect you to pay for yourself..."

"Ohh ...  No no... We are friends so we split the bill... That's the rule"

"Hmm... Yeah... Well... That's convenient for me..."

Then they get out and walk out a bit ... It was a chilly night ....

"So I went on and turned off the computer... You know.. because.. like she could have asked me before using it... She is just dump...having a sister is tiring.."

"I never expected you had a sister..."

"Yeah... Why?..."

"Just thought you are an only child..."

"No I'm not...."

Then they both just walk in silence....

"What do you call a fish with no eyes?"

She feels a bit weird...she didn't expect that out-of-nowhere question ... Is he telling a joke?!...

"Um... Don't know... What do you call them?.."

He glances at her with a smug look on his face... And that's a first for her...

"FSH...f. s. h."

She couldn't believe that he just said the lamest joke ever... She just stares at him for a moment and laughs ... Not because it's funny.. but because it was unexpected...

"Nooo..." says as she puts her hand over her face.

"Yes..." says with a smug expression on his face.. as he side eyes her

She takes a deep breath to not giggle more... "Okay... let me think of one too.."

"Go on.."

she thinks a bit... Then gets one ... her eyes are sparkling a bit ...

"Oh oh... I got one .. so... What did one ocean say to the other ocean?..."

He shrugs..."what?.."

"Nothing.. it just waved..." Then she laughs at her own joke....

And he chuckles a little bit and raises an eyebrow as he looks at her..."really?... That was lame.."

She opens her mouth, surprised at his comment... "What?... And your joke was funny?..."

"Yeah.. it was funny... You laughed.."

"Barely ... And because I was surprised... My joke is better..."

"No .. mine better... Love"

She gives him a side eye annoyed look and shakes her head slightly... Chuckling at his confidence... And she lets it go for now...

She stays silent again for a bit and sighs in relief...

"But... Jokes aside ... Today was really nice .. thanks for accepting my request... I didn't expect you to accept... so thanks..."

He doesn't understand it himself...

"No problem..."

She smiles kindly... Looking ahead as she realizes that they almost reached her apartment...

"So... We are almost here.... I live in that building...." and she points at her balcony...

Then they stop in front of the building's entrance...

"So... Still no portrait?..."

"No..." He says firmly.. looking down at y/n..

She groans a bit loudly...

"Come on... Why not?..."

He doesn't answer that ... He just smiles a little calm smile... Which made her heart skips a beat .. she always feels that his smile is so pretty... Even if it was not that happy....it Makes her ... Like.. greedy?... She isn't sure... But... It feels so good... Slowly getting closer to him... she reallyWanna see more...

"Hey... You okay?..." He says gently... As he noticed how spacy she got....

She snaps out of it... Getting a bit nervous...

"Uhh... Yes.. yes... So okay.... And you sir?..."

He raises his an eyebrow at her... Looking down into her eyes.... Making her more nervous... Like he is looking into her soul ....

(Is that from his military experience or something??...)

"I am doing fine ..." says calmly as he just follows her flow...

She smiles softly as she feels a bit shy....

"Okay.. can I like.. text you? You know.... Maybe meet up again..."

He just looks a bit too calm suddenly... That she thought he will refuse...

"You can... It's okay..." he can`t believe he agreed.. he wanted this to be the last time..

She feels happy and her face lights up...

"Okay... Then be ready... Bye... the portrait offer is still on.."

He nods his head slightly and watches her walk inside the complex ... Making sure she is safe... then He leaves...

........

In the opposite building... Someone with Binoculars standing in a barely open window..... Watching y/n with that huge man... And he almost broke the Binoculars..

....: "so you were out?!... You shouldn't see anyone... Y/n... You can't do that ... I will show you...and I think your time came..."

Then he punches the wall with so much hate.... Feeling blood rushing into his veins....

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Stuck To Our Past

Inspired and based on the comic by @rius-cave ! This will probably be multiple parts, I saw on twitter it might be 100+ pages. If you haven't seen the comic yet go feast your eyes!!

-------

Lucifer groaned as he started to wake up to the sound of someone calling out to him. It felt like his head was underwater and that the voice was far away. But as he started to wake up more the voice got louder, Lucifer noted it was that if a man, his voice was soft yet concerned.

"....Uci......Luci? Finally, are you up?" That voice was so familiar, when Lucifer finally opened his eyes he was confused as to why Adam was leaning over him looking concerned. "Hey, are you okay?"

Groggily, Lucifer sat up and Adam backed away a bit. "Adam?" Why was he here?

Adam raised a brow. "Yeah who else? Do you know where we are? Is this a new place you guys created? Its..... kinda small no offense." Lucifer was so fucking confused and to add a layer of confusion, why the fuck was Adam naked!?

"Why are you butt ass naked?"

Adam tilted his head cutely. "What do you mean?"

Before Lucifer answered him he looked past him around the room they were in. It was a nice room, though there wasn't much in it apart from the bed they were on, a stand with a tv and a plant in the corner of the room probably just to give the place some color, everything was very grey. Lucifer got off the bed, his hat was on the floor so he picked it up and put it back on. "Hold that thought."

He went over to the only window in the room, maybe he could open it and see where they are, the glass was tinted very black so he couldn't see. Lucifer rattled the window and when it didn't move he snapped his fingers to use his magic. He's leaving one way or another.

Only he magic didn't work.

Lucifer growled and snapped multiple times growing more frustrated with each failed attempt. "What the fuck!?"

Adam blinked. "What's that?"

Lucifer turned to look at him. "Come again?"

"What's that word you keep saying? 'Fuck'?"

Huh? Adam swore more than Luicfer did how did he not know? "What are you...." Then it hit him like a freight train, Adam being in no clothes, asking questions, being super nice and not yelling at him or poking fun at him like he does in meetings. "Holy shit! Adam!"

"Yes? That's me. Are you okay Luci?"

Luci.

" 'Luci'? You haven't called me that since..... since.... Oh Satan's balls."

Since Eden.

Before he could ask Adam anything else the tv on the stand dinged to life and a message appeared on the screen. Curious, Adam and Lucifer went over to the tv to see what it said.

The screen read:

Minimum requirements to escape: Pentitrative sex, each partner must have at least one orgasm. 30 minute time limit. Punishment for failing these requirements will result in death from Poisonous Angelic Gas.

Lucifer was fucking pissed. "ARE YOU-"

------

"--SHITTING ME!?" Adam, the one not from Eden but the commander of the exterminators sans his helmet reefed on the window trying to get out of the room he was trapped in with the angel version of Lucifer. "No, no no no no no no no no NO FUCKING WAY!!" He glared at the window that refused to open.

Adam will blast his fucking way out of here. He held up his hands to summon his holy light to shoot a hole into the wall....... Only for nothing to happen. What the fuck!? He turned to glare at Luicfer who was sitting on the bed, he may look like he did in Eden but this fucker is no angel! "YOU! THIS IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT!!" He pointed his finger directly at him.

Lucifer jumped and his jaw dropped. "What!? How is this my fault? I have no idea what's going on here!"

Adam stomped over and got in his face, he was getting sick if him pretending to not know what's going on, this is clearly the work of the devil. "I don't know what kind of sick joke you're trying to pull here, but its the lamest fucking one I've ever heard in my afterlife." Adam fixed his posture and gestured to what Lucifer was wearing. "Seriously, you're even wearing that again?" He was dressed like he was his angel self back in Eden.

Lucifer bristled and poked Adam in the chest. "This is what i always wear! If anything you're the suspicious one! You're supposed to be Adam? Adam is a human, God's newest creation and-.....Oh! I get it! It's you Michael isn't it?" Lucifer walked around Adam and poked at various parts of his body. "Well you did a piss poor job at this disguise. I mean, have you ever even met Adam? The poor guy doesn't even know what clothes are! And you didn't hide your wings. And Adam doesn't look this beat down by life."

Adam growled, hebhad heard enough of his bull shit and snatched his hand off of his wing, holding it tight. "Shut your mouth right now unless you want me to shove your back stabbing hand down your throat."

Lucifer got his hand back and couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Back stabbing...?"

Adam glared, "Oh and now you're going to play the victim." He went and sat on the bed. "Why don't you do humanity a favor and choke on the next bag of dicks you find." He glared at the far wall, his head resting on his one hand.

Lucifer was so shocked, he didn't know what to think. This had to be Adam he spoke with such conviction he sounded so hurt..... He sat on the bed beside Adam and looked him over. He saw it and now he felt like shit. "So, you're really Adam?"

Adam scoffed and gave him the side eye before answering him. "Oh what gave that away? The giant fucking 'A' on my clothes or the fact that I've had the same fucking face since I was created? Did you brain get deep fried in Hell too?"

Lucifer blinked, Hell? What was that? "Uh..." Gently he reached out to place his hand on Adams shoulder, only to flinch away slightly at the glare and the growl that Adam emmitted from low in his throat. "Look Adam, I don't know what's going on or what this place is. Last thing I knew I was flying down to Eden to pay you a visit. We were going to play around in the waterfall today. Remember?" He looked at Adam hoping that he would remember that day, a day that wws supposed to be happy.

Adam looked down for a minute, that day flashing in his memory and how bittersweet it was now. He glanced at Lucifer. "Yeah and that was when you told me about Lilith being created."

Shock was a mild feeling to what rocked through Lucifer in that moment. How did he know!? "What? H-How did you know that? It was supposed to be a surprise."

"Look, I don't know what's going on here, but it's been more than ten thousand years since that day." Adam leaned in to look Luicfer in the eye his heated glare piercing into the angel. "If that's really the last thing you remember then congratulations you've managed to forget how you fucked up an entire species let alone my life."

Lucifer knit his eyebrows together, he didn't know what that meant. "Adam, I don't-"

The TV on the stand chimed again letting them know of the time limit yet again, only it was decreasing.

25 Minutes remain of time limit.

--------------------

Back in the next room over with the King of Hell and the Adam from Eden, Luicfer was pacing trying to figure out who could have been behind this whole thing. It didn't make any sense. "Shit, shit, shit! I've tried everything and nothing is working. Who could be behind this?" Adam got off the bed and sunk to the floor, he noticed the chest at the foot of the bed and opened it.

Lucifer tapped his chin in thought. "Sera? No she doesn't have this fucked up of a sense of humor. Gabriel? No he's far too stupid. The bathroom had no exit either, there must be some angel magic involved if I can't use my magic."

Adam pulled out a pink thing that looked similar to his penis. Why was it pink and why did it vibrate? He put it back as Luicfer kept talking to himself. He was so confused.

"Luci?"

Lucifer stopped to look at Adam who was now standing with his arms crossed over his chest and...... dick proudly hanging for all to see. "Yes?"

"You've been making weird hand gestures to the air and mumbling to yourself for five minutes. Could you tell me what's going on? I hate it when you hide things like this from."

Lucifer looked him over, his eyes lingered on his dick a little longer than he ment it to. His face warmed before looking away and sighing.

If this was real then there was truely no way out of this then to..... Then to.....

"Well..... This is hardly what I thought I'd be doing on my Saturday morning but what the hell." Lucifer went over to Adam, reached his hand up to cup the back of his neck and pulled him down into a kiss. Adam jolted, caught off guard, his cheeks tinted pink as Lucifer deepened the kiss with his tongue.

Adam pulled away and looked at his best friend in shock. "Luci!! W-what-?" Lucifer took a hold of his arm and got him to look him in the eye.

"Liaten Adam, there's no time to explain. You're going to have to trust me or something very bad is going to happen. Do you understand?" Adam nodded, if this was to keep them both safe than he would happily help Luci. "Do you trust me?" Another nod, Lucifer's eyes half lidded and voice smooth like silk. "Good." Lucifer closed the gap between them again and Adam felt his face grow warmer.

They kissed for a little while, when they separated for a moment a thin string of saliva connected their lips as Lucifer got Adam to sit on the bed. Lucifer loosened his tie and started to remove his clothes starting with his shirt and hat that he tossed on the floor.

He got between Adam's legs and kissed and sucked on his neck making Adam moan with need. Shit, this should not be working for him this well, Lucifer could feel his pants getting tighter.

"Luci?" Adams soft voice brought him out of his thoughts and oh shit..... How did Adam manage to make himself look so pretty and desirable like that? His eyes glazed over, some drool running down his chin and his face deliciously pink. "Are we...... Going to mate?"

Luicfer couldn't help the pull of his lips into a huge grin, eyes glowing as he looked at Adam. Oh, how long had he waited? "Oh Adam...... You have no idea.~"

----------------------

"FUCK NO!....... OVER MY DEAD BODY! ........ NO WAY IN HELL!!" Sex toys and dildos were flung against the wall as Adam went through the chest at the foot of the bed. Each one serving to piss him off even more than the last. If this guy thinks he's going to stick anything like this up his ass he has another thing coming.

Lucifer was trying and failing to calm him down so they could get out of here. "Adam, stop being so-" He ducked out of the way as a pink dildo was thrown at his, nearly knocking his hat off. "- Goddamned difficult! We're running out of time!"

Adam glared, he was holding another dildo to throw that was blue in color and looked kind of like a tentacle. Who the fuck was into this shit!? "Well good! Let it run out! Maybe that angelic gas will actually manage to shut you up!!" Just as he was going to throw the toy, Lucifer caught his wrist.

Lucifer was so done with his little temper tantrum. "You're gonna die too if that happens idiot."

Adam dropped the toy and pulled his hand away. "Wouldn't be the first time. Who's fucking fault was that, hmm?"

Lucifer had to try and reason with Adam, for both their sakes. "Adam please, you gotta believe me. Something weird is going on. I don't think we're from the same time periods, I don't remember-"

Adam laughed harshly making the angel flinch, he had this crazed look in his eyes. "And you think I give a shit what you remember!? Want to walk down memory lane? How about this!"

He jabbed his finger into Lucifer's chest. "YOU introduced me to my bride, YOU told me to fuck her until her womb dried up! THEN YOU STOLE HER FROM ME AND GAVE ME A NEW WIFE AND MADE HER EAT THAT STUPID FUCKING APPLE SO YOU COULD FINISH FUCKING ME OVER!!" Once Adam started his rant he couldn't stop it, like word vomit coming out he just let it flow freely. He's been holding it in for ten thousand years. "All so you could have  AAAALLLL your little whores on your side because ooooooh! Adam is such a piece of shit, he doesn't deserve dick does he!? Let's go ahead and DOOM the entire fucking human race because "Oh Lilith, they simply MUST see things JUST the way I see them because I know soooooo much better!" I TRUSTED YOU!! I thought you were my friend! I thought you understood better than all those shit head angels! You ruined my life and now you show up like this!? Like when I used to......"

Adam cut his rant off and pulled away from Lucifer for a moment. His heart was pounding from his anger and his rant. "To....." Adam blinked the emotion out of his eyes, he didn't want to cry even if the memory was too painful. In Eden, Lucifer meant so much more to him than just being his best friend.

Lucifer was shocked at the admission, he had no idea....... Slowly, he moved so that he could cup Adams cheek with his hand. "I'm..... I'm so sorry Adam, I have no idea why I would do any of that to you. I..." He got a little closer, keeping his tone soft as he got Adam to look at him. "Adam, please you have to believe me I...... I love you."

[reginageorgesgirlfriend3020]

Azzi Fudd headcannons (Part 13)

Hates confrontation

Smiles when she’s mad at you but will hide her frustration with you so she doesn’t upset herself or you by saying the wrong thing and start a massive fight

Calls you her mermaid because you love mermaids duh

Loves the softness of your thighs

Makes the lamest jokes ever but she can be pretty funny sometimes

Like one time she said “You’re the Dani Daniel’s to my Johnny sins”

You just gave her a look. “Did you just make a porn joke?” You asked

“Yes I did”. Said Azzi

You chuckled slighty

Loves the softness of your thighs when she she rests her hand on your thigh

While she cuddles you she strokes your back and her fingers will dance along your on your spine

When you’re asleep she will cherish you with her kisses on your torso and hold you

[smimon]

Kinda related to the previous post, an example of how shame is inherently tied to being Polish thanks to Polish online users themselves

When "Koko Euro Spoko" was selected as the Polish fans' anthem for Euro 2012, Polish internet started screaming in agony, claiming that you CAN'T show foreigners a folk song, that foreigners CANNOT know that we have folklore in Poland, and that the whole world will inevitably think that Poland is nothing more than a backward village. The parodies and mocking were merciless

That year we had a student exchange from Germany at my school and at some point the Polish kids decided we HAVE TO show them Koko Euro Spoko, promising it is absolutely the lamest thing ever and that they will be forever ashamed remembering Poland.

The German kids didn't get the "joke". To them, it was just a folk song.

sometimes it feels like individualism is not allowed in this country because there is this assumption that whatever can be found online by people from other countries, will surely be their first time interacting with anything from Poland, and they will immediately assume all of Poland is uniform and just like that thing they are seeing. your average Pole wants you to assume that Poland is uniform, yes, but in a "normal" way (what is "normal" depends on who you ask therefore the screaming in agony never ends)

[escxelle]

meeting the bg3 cast at liverpool comic con!

i met the bg3 cast at liverpool comic con 😭😭 i still can't believe it 😭😭

i gave them all little duckies and jennifer english asked me where i got them so i said it was from my step-brother's wedding! bc he hid them around the venue for the guests to find :) to which jen said that she loved it because weddings are boring with all the middle aged men (she was so real for that) in the bg3 panel she said what shadowheart was in french so i tried to teach jen and aliona it in welsh. jen, you're amazing but your welsh is not 😭 aliona got it pretty darn close so she said that she'd teach her 😭 i also got the picture with both jen and aliona and they stood either side of me doing peace signs. i put my arms around them (as i was in the middle of them) and in the picture one of my arms is just under aliona's arm. just about, you can see that i am also doing a peace sign. gay people, huh? ✌️

i met devora wilde first so i was sooo nervous i just stood there like 🧍‍♂️ and said the dorkiest lamest thing ever: "you have nice handwriting" 💀 which she does but i had one shot and got so side tracked by how pretty she looked, i fumbled 😔 (she was also the best dressed but shhh don't tell anyone) also i cosplayed lae'zel and dev complimented it. listen, when a pretty person compliments you what else are you meant to do but NOT immediately shut down???

i don't wanna be delululu but i feel like i vibed with theo so much like he was such an easy person to talk to???? if it wasn't for the universe i feel like i'd still be stood there talking to him honestly. he called me darling too 😭 and he told me a joke that he wanted to say on the bg3 panel but stopped himself from saying, those details i'll keep between me and theo ;) he's also so incredibly handsome it's literally insane. like he was next to neil so for a while i was at the front of the long ass queue for neil and honestly i was looking more at theo 😭 ily neil i really do but theo was right there, how could i not?? (and Elliot fucking Page was to the other side of neil - yes Elliot Page). hence please kindly consider me a wyll girlie (gender neutral) from right now to forever more. (also whoever said at the panel that wyll's name in welsh is pronounced like "oi ll" tysm ilysm it made two welsh people very happy!!)

i had the photo op with neil newbon too and i look like a pea stood next to him. he's so fucking tall!!! he also randomly winked at me while i was waiting in the queue for the autograph like sir ???? understandable i originally wanted him to write "let's take ibroprufen together" on my picture as a joke but he said he wasn't gonna tell me to self-medicate (100% valid) but listen, he gave me a look and honestly? worth it. it was like a stern librarian look yk? anyways, i won't ever forget it. he also said "i'm all pointy ears my love" twice to me (once at the photo op and the other at the table autograph 😭) neil's handwriting is also rubbish (sorry neil), probably didn't help that he was most likely in a rush to get through everyone (he queue was so big even after closing 😭) but i only know what he wrote as the quote because he told me 😭 "let's go hurt someone" which probs is the closest astarion line to "let's take ibroprufen together" lol. neil was also the only one to ask if he could put his arm around me during the selfie at the table which was so nice and considerate <3

and finally, my name starts with an E so i just want to tell you all how each of them write captials Es:

- dev & jen = curly E (like a backwards 3)

- neil = one curl with a line in the middle (like a C with a line in the middle)

- theo = standard E (literally just E - can't blame him though because i do the same lol)

do whatever you want with that information

now i just need sam and tim and i've got the whole main cast!!

p.s. don't ask me how much this cost 😭 the sum is mighty but i wouldn't change any of it for the world! they're all so fucking lovely and i had the bestest time even if it was just for a few minutes of a conversation! the experience is crazy. this is the first time i've ever done anything like this and it's so grounding to realise that the people who you idolise are literally just people, yk? like they're just some guy, they're just some girl, they're just a random person at the end of the day. and it's the best feeling in the world i think. it's so grounding i can't describe it in any other way.

p.p.s. this fandom is so fucking lovely. i talked to so many bg3 fans and you're all fucking awesome. i even shared social media links and took selfies with a few :) i even spent the majority of the day with my friend who i went with and someone who was behind us in the neil photo op queue 😭 we all trauma bonded (because the neil queues are nothing but traumatic 😭) and made a game of who's heart rate could go the highest (it was my friend with 160), we don't encourage you to do the same btw! pls look after yourselves <3

p.p.p.s. no parasocial relationships were created over the course of the weekend! they are people who yall know nothing about, remember!!!

tldr: 10/10 trip 100% worth the super expensive train from wales :)

[ilovebeingaturtle]

I never knew exactly why 87!raph was a loser exactly before I watched the show. He seemed genuinely funny and the most sensible by the way you described him!

Then 11 episodes into TMNT 1987: lmao what a fucking loser, truly cringe fail loser material

I think it's because he seems to be the only one actually trying to be funny

Like actually tryharding making dumbass jokes????

I’m so glad you discovered first hand how much of a little loser this guy is because even with me uploading a bunch of his moments you truly only experience the full extent of it watching the show yoursELF

Cause yeah see, like that’s the thing. This loser has joke books. That’s what makes him different. He practices.

The other 87 turtles one liners always feel spur of the moment, if what they say is dorky hey it’s cause they’re just making silly quips about what’s happening to them off the top of their head. They have other things to say or do though, it’s not their main gimmick.

But Raphael is the joke guy. Like, that’s genuinely his core role on the team in this version. Leonardo’s the leader, Donatello’s the genius, Michelangelo is the party/pizza/surfer dude and he’s the “wise guy”. He’s trying to be funny. Practically every line he says is trying to be funny. Not only that, but sometimes there will be whole scenes where he’s noticeably the only one not talking, and you know why that likely is? Because he couldn’t think of a joke so he isn’t saying anything this turtle is a freaking joke machine and when the machine breaks down he doesn’t know what to DO with himself-

I only ever post clips of when his jokes hit but guys there are so many times where he says the LAMEST, dumbass, terrible pun or one liner ever and it is equally a delight. He teases Leonardo for being corny but some of the things he says are genuinely worse. I’ve watched 87 with people and had them say “wait, was that even meant to be a joke?” and that’s how you know he’s bad AHA

Of course, sometimes he weasels his way out of some of the stupid jokes by saying something like, “hey who’s writing this show?” or “can you believe the stuff they make us say?” but more often than not, you know…you know he’s proud of himself…

So YES. Yes he is a complete loser. I’m delighted you now understand.

[tleeaves]

❤️💛💚💙🌙💉📺 🧟‍♀️ 🍓 🍊 🍐

Hi, lovely!! Thank you for sending in the ask!

❤️ how tall are you?

I am juuust scraping five foot one (5'1"). No use telling me any short jokes, I've heard them all already throughout my entire life so far. I was born on the tiny side and that never really changed.

💛 what is your favourite feature on yourself?

Hm, I'd have to say my hair. I really like all the ways it can sit/behave depending on when I washed it, if I let it dry naturally, what length it's at and so on. Also, I love how soft and fluffy it can feel. I have a bad habit of touching my hair actually, from like brushing/combing it back with my hands to twirling it around my fingers (not in a flirty way, just in a "wow I love the texture" way). Growing up, a lot of people were fascinated with my hair because of how thick it was too, and that kind of rubbed off on me maybe?

💚 where are you from?

Originally, a farm in Australia. Currently, in coastal suburbia, still Australia!

💙 do you have any siblings?

Yes! Three. They're all younger than me.

🌙 your zodiac (Sun, Moon, Rising)

Capricorn Sun, Leo Moon, and also Capricorn Rising (I think, I'm not totally knowledgeable about astrology)

💉 do you have tattoos and/or piercings

No tattoos (yet, I fully plan on getting some) and just single ear piercings. I'm not a huge fan of ear piercings (on myself) if I'm honest? Plenty of my friends and family get way more. The only other ones I've been considering are a nose stud and naval piercing.

📺 last show you watched

I think it was The Umbrella Academy? Season 4, incomplete, mostly cause I've seen some spoilers floating around and now I'm scared to finish it and be further disappointed by how it ends. Oh wait, I have been watching Jojo's Bizarre Adventures but I can't remember out of the two which was more recent. Still like early on in the first season of that, but I'm enjoying it.

🧟‍♀️ scariest thing that's happened to you

Hmm. Jokingly? Life. Or public speaking and confessing to crushes. Realistically? The lamest but most honest answer I can think of to say without going into my troubled childhood is self-injecting medication (prescribed and with instructions, don't worry, it wasn't anything that wasn't supposed to happen). I still get weird echoes of the pain in my thighs at the injection sites even though it's been almost a year since I went unmedicated. I used to majorly dread injection days, to the point where I made myself feel sicker than ever. I've now developed a phobia around needles which sucks since I still need regular blood testing. Even if I think about it now, I start feeling horribly sick and dissociate. Or, you know, learning to drive tended to kick my body into fight/flight/freeze. I fucking hate driving. Can we return to horseback as the main mode of travel? Or trains??

🍓 favourite food

How do I answer this?? I love food! Maybe chocolate? Waffles? Chocolate on waffles? Cold spanakopita? Pizza? Makaronopita/pastitsio? Aaaaaa all of the above. That's the best you're gonna get out of me.

🍊 favourite season?

Autumn!! Used to be summer because I really love the thunderstorms, but it's gotten waaay too hot where I now live for me to actually enjoy the season.

🍐 if you could make one character real, who would it be

Tough question, I love sooo many characters (I have long lists). Maybe Kell Maresh from the Shades of Magic series. I'd marry that guy. From Tokyo Debunker which you know me from? Either Sho or Tohma. Maybe Haru. Of the three though, I'd probably pick Sho.

[itshardcandy]

Strawberry Flavour - Part 3

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Reader, Park Jimin x Reader, Min Yoongi & Reader

Genre: Fluff, F2L,

Warnings: some slightly illegal activities (Vandalism but more funny than trashy), kissing, love triangle if that's considered a warning for anyone, bad punctuation!!!!!

Chapter summary: Jimin feels bad, you feel bad. Jin is trying his best.

Author's Note: lol sorry I know this one is a long time coming. If anyone is even still interested it's here now 😭

___________

The next morning was a blur. You had no time to think about last night’s events and it appeared as though Jimin either didn’t remember or had decided to act like it didn’t happen. Which was fine for you because for now you had other problems to worry about. You needed to get more dough prepared and check all the equipment again, before you would leave for the second day of the festival. Jimin helped you carry the big ingredient sacks to the kitchen from the back and then proceeded to busy himself with the tools while you took care of the dough preparation. You worked in silence until it was time to go and set up the booth again.

Now that you already had done it one time before, it took less time to get everything set up and prepared for the day and you had a little bit more free time before the festival opened its metaphorical gates again. Jimin polished the display case, while you watched the other vendors set up. Letting your eyes wander, your gaze landed on Fluffy Clouds’ set up and you spotted Lucas and Baekhyun carrying some stuff around. Your mood immediately soured and you sighed, catching Jimin’s attention,

“Do you think people would get suspicious if Baekhyun just didn’t show up for the last day tomorrow?”

You asked, indulging in some innocent abduction fantasies, involving your nemesis,

“Yes, I definitely think so, YN”,

Jimin said,

“And I also think there could be some hypothetical traces and evidence leading up to our involvement in his hypothetical absence in future town-organized events and… life in general”

He added and carefully gauged your reaction,

“Ugh, I guess…”

you grumbled and turned back around to face Jimin,

“I’m so sick of them just existing near us”

You sighed and Jimin chuckled silently,

“I’m not sure what we can do about that”

He said and you absentmindedly poked around the dough with a wooden spoon,

“Yeah, I know…”

Another pouty glance at your adversary’s set up gave you pause for another reason than unbridled hatred; it was confusion.

Jin stood at the booth, leaning on the wooden structure, and looking relaxed as ever as he was casually striking up a conversation with Lucas and Baekhyun. Was it really him? You were squinting hard to confirm your suspicion and the results came back positive.

Why would he knowingly canoodle with the enemy? It looked like a friendly chat and a successful one, at that. You knew Jin inside out and he was definitely sporting his dad-joke pose, getting ready to wow the two men with his endless repertoire of the lamest jokes ever invented.

Next to you, Jimin followed your line of sight, eyes widening in recognition, when he spotted the line of Jin’s broad shoulders,

“What’s he doing over there?”

He asked, wiping his hands on a towel,

“I don’t know…”

You replied and stopped your dough-stirring. Sadly, they were too far away to eavesdrop on the conversation. The only thing loud enough to decipher was Jin’s laugh,

“It’s making me nervous, Jimin. Why would he go talk to them when he knows how they treat us? Is this just a friendly visit to the competition, a spy mission or did he just forget that they are number one on our most undesirable list?”

You speculated and Jimin stayed silent, simply choosing to observe. A few minutes of awkward and not very well concealed espionage went on until you saw Jin waving goodbye to the Fluffy Fools and stroll over in the direction of yours and Jimin’s booth. He didn’t stop, however, just passed by and greeted you with a simple but powerful wink and kept walking.

What was he up to?

Despite the rocky start, your rice cake sales went up a little higher than the day before. You and Jimin fell into a manageable rhythm of working the display and keeping up with the demand and by the end of the day, you were counting a nice stack of profit.

Jimin was cleaning up and putting away all the utensils and tools and you took care of the leftover food. After the busy day you had, with customers ordering rice cake after rice cake and screaming children running around the area, it was nice to work in silence for a little while. That silence wasn’t a hundred percent relaxed but both of you were too exhausted to acknowledge the awkward tension that still lingered between you two after the kiss. It would have to wait until both of you were in the right headspace to talk it out; maybe after the festival. For now, you stored the money safely and Jimin finished up packing,

“Knock knock”

You looked up, mouth hanging open in surprise,

“Jin, what are you doing here?”

You asked, getting up and taking off your apron. Jimin greeted the man with a simple nod,

“I was just passing by”

Jin said and shrugged,

“Like you were passing by Fuffy Clouds earlier?”

You asked, trying to keep the accusatory tone to a minimum. Jin just giggled like he usually did with his shoulders shaking. He knew he struck a chord when he approached them this morning but it was all for a good cause, you’d see soon enough,

“Calm down, no need to throw hands”,

He casually leaned against the support beam and folded his hands,

“I was just checking out their stuff”,

“Checking out their stuff? You had your dad joke face on, I saw it! You made friendly conversation!”,

“Woah, no need to say the f-word here, ok?”

Jimin popped up from behind and calmly put a hand on your shoulder,

“I’m sure it was nothing”

He said and Jin nodded in agreement,

“Exactly! - Well… actually, I had a very good reason to go over there, which I would have told you about in due time, if you hadn’t accused me of fraternising with the enemy”

He explained and you pursed your lips. Ok, maybe you could have let him speak first before putting him on trial but this was a sore subject for you,

“Anyway… “

Jin needlessly dragged out the -y-,

“I was actually about to ask you to follow me…”

He said, after it was clear that you would let him elaborate,

“Inconspicuously… “

He added, lifting his brow suggestively.

You regarded him curiously. He didn’t move an inch, keeping his smile and his posture until you decided to grace him with a reply,

“Follow you where?”,

“We were actually planning to-“

Jimin started to say from the back but Jin interrupted him,

“I was planning on stealing YN away for a little while. You can go home already I’ll walk her back later”

Jin answered and Jimin was visibly shook. Well, visible to you, at least,

“Oh, ok… well then I guess YN, will come home late tonight”,

“YN will do whatever YN wants because people can make their own decisions, even if they are talked about as if they aren’t present”

You said and both men coughed awkwardly,

“Of course… we didn’t mean to talk over you”

Jimin mumbled and Jin agreed with a silent nod, then went right back to being himself,

“So, pack up and let’s get going!”

He clapped his hands together and you guessed the case was closed. You sighed and grabbed your bag, ready to head out,

“Jimin, are you ok with locking up later?”

You asked before stepping outside,

“Don’t worry about it, go have some fun”

Jimin said with his back turned to you,

“Ok, see you later”

Something about that interaction made you feel a little conflicted,

“Ok, Jin, I’m ready to –“,

“Actually, we should wait 5 more minutes, just to be safe”,

“What’s that supposed to mean?”,

“Nothing, nothing”

Jin mumbled and turned his head around nervously in every direction before smiling at you reassuringly,

“Like Jimin said, don’t worry about it”

“Jin, you know I don’t really do well with this mysterious spontaneous-“

“Ok, now! Go, go, follow me!”

Jin suddenly dashed away, pulling you with him, across the dimly lit and deserted open festival area until you squeezed in between a Plushie shooting range and an apple bobbing stand,

“What the heck?”

You blurted out but Jin slapped his hand across your mouth,

“Shh!”

He held a finger to his mouth and signalled you to stay quiet, just as a security guard was passing by, whistling and lazily swinging his flashlight around. You stared at Jin, a little annoyed at the secret agent agenda he had going on but you would be lying if you sad it wasn’t also a little exciting.

The guard kept on walking and making his rounds and Jin let go of you,

“Sorry but I couldn’t risk it”

He whispered,

“It’s fine. What are you getting us into here, though? Is this going to get me in trouble? I can’t risk losing the booth, Jimin would be so disappointed because we’ve worked so hard to- hmpf”

Jin covered up your mouth again, cutting you off mid-sentence,

“Calm down Strawberry Flavour, we’re just going to have some innocent fun”

He said and you nodded,

“Maybe it will be at someone else’s expense but that doesn’t mean it won’t be fun”

He added and you slapped his shoulder,

“Ouch!”,

“Jin! What do you mean at someone else’s expense?”,

Jin sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes,

“Can’t you just trust me?”,

“Obviously not”,

“Ok, then… let’s get closer to the booth and I’ll show you”,

“Ugh, ok”

You both checked for another guard or some other possible witness and then continued your approach at a brisk pace. The place was still abandoned and only the sounds from outside the area could be heard. People were probably partying down on the promenade and the beach, like they did last night, too.

“You know, I wasn’t really just checking out their stuff,”

Jin started to say as your steps came to a halt in front of Fluffy Clouds’ booth.

He whispered ominously as he let his backpack slide down from his shoulder,

“I was actually studying the booth for structural weaknesses and asses the best point of entry so we could….”

He pulled the zipper down on the side of the backpack and pulled out five cans of string cheese and a crowbar,

“Have some innocent fun”

A maniacal laugh exploded from him and he dramatically lifted his hands in the air, as you examined one of the string cheese spray cans in your hands. A sudden fit of coughs interrupted your reverence and you looked up at Jin, who was hitting his chest while he choked on his laughter,

“You ok there, Bud?”

You asked, regarding him with raised brows until he calmed down,

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine”

He took one deep breath and flipped one of the cans in his hand, like he was some kind of cool teen with a passion for skating,

“So, we doin’ this or not?”,

“I hate, that I’m actually considering doing this”

You sighed,

“Let’s do this”

_________

��

Half an hour and some thorough vandalization later Jin and you were admiring your handiwork. The string cheese was holding up nicely and the crowbar had helped you in dismantling a few non-essential items. Nothing dangerous, of course. Well, Jin had kept you from loosening the overhead beams because he didn’t want to be responsible for two deaths but still. He thought his state-of-the-art method of helping you vent had been implemented successfully as he watched you smile to yourself,

“You feeling any better?”

He asked, filling his backpack up with the empty cans and the crowbar. You lifted your arms over your head, stretching yourself and let out a deep breath,

“I think so. I didn’t think this would end up being so much fun. I thought I’d just feel guilty the whole time”

You happily admitted as you stretched your neck a little bit.

Darkness had started to roll in as dusk approached nightfall quickly and the dim lights that were placed in between all the booths and attractions didn’t actually do much to properly light up the area.

Under cover of darkness, Jin let his eyes roam over your body as you proudly took one last look at your masterpiece.

“You know, I think they might suspect foul play when they come back tomorrow and find all of this.”

You say and Jin just shrugs behind you,

“Eh, whatever, there’s no cameras here and I doubt the police will launch an official investigation for a small festival booth that’ll be gone by the end of the week anyway.”,

“You’re probably right. God it’ll be so satisfying to see their stupid faces tomorrow,”

You turn around with a dreamy look on your face and Jin hoists the backpack over his shoulder,

“I sure hope so, that cheese cost me a fortune.”

He comments and you smile, laying your head on his shoulder.

“I’ll pay you back in chicken,”

You promise as you both get going and Jin nods,

“That’s acceptable.”

He agrees to your offer to repay him, making sure to check for the security guard before you sneak around the several booths and rides and swiftly exit the festival area.

“Seriously, thank you for roping me into this. I honestly never thought a life of crime would be for me but I think I see the appeal now”,

You said and bumped your shoulder into Jin’s affectionately.

“I knew you’d appreciate my evil genius eventually, Strawberry Flavour, even if it took you this long.”

Jin answered as he popped a cashew in his mouth and held the bag to you to take one, too. It wasn’t a long walk from the beach back into civilisation and the fresh air and calm atmosphere were a nice change after the hectic and eventful day you’ve had so far.

“I never pegged you as the rebellious type.”

You poke fun at him as your eyes roam over the open landscape that separates the beach from town. Jin smiles at your comment and throws a nut in the air only to catch it with his mouth.

“I’m full of surprises”,

He winks.

“Yeah, apparently. Why don’t you use some of the genius at work when Areum is making your life hell?”

You ask jokingly and grab another handful of cashews from the small bag.

“And use my evil powers on a little girl? Wow, I thought I was the shameless one but you have a dark side as well, huh?”

Jin replied and you smiled sheepishly,

“I guess we confirmed that today”,

“True.”

The summer night breeze flowing in from the coast slowly cooled down the heated land and had you shivering deliciously as you approached the edge of town slowly but surely.

--------

As you walked along the side of the road, under the light of the street lamps and the shadows stretching in between them, silence fell over the two of you, which was a rare occasion.

The shop and your apartment were only a few minutes away now.

 

Usually, when you were with Jin, you would just say whatever was on your mind and so would he. Both of you had no filter and very little speech impulse control around each other, for better or worse, but for sure entertaining.

Right now, however, it seemed like neither you nor him wanted to disturb the comfortable silence until you rounded a corner and your place came into view.

Comfortable was a fitting description, you thought, as you regarded Jin from the corner of your eye. You always felt comfortable around him and there was never a need to pretend and hide parts of yourself when you were together.

Like right now.

There was no need to talk and keep up pretentious small talk because just keeping each other company was enough. The friendship you had built in the time from meeting for the first time and now was precious and moments like these made you appreciate it even more.

Moments like these, when the wind carried the scent of Jin’s perfume over to you and it lulled you in; when your steps automatically gravitated towards each other and your shoulders touched occasionally.

Moments when your hands brushed against the other’s and somehow your fingers found their way into holding on and interlocking in a gentle grip.

Feeling his hand holding yours like it was the most natural thing had your cheeks heating up for reasons other than the warm weather.

You’d never held hands like this before and it felt… nice, you thought, as you leaned into Jin a little more.

It felt nice like that time in the kitchen, when he held you up to the high shelf with his arms around you, so you could grab the pan you needed.

You remember feeling warm in that scenario like you do right now and like you did last night after Jimin kissed you so unexpectedly.

The thought of it made you feel a little queasy, since that particular issue was still buried in depths of your mind and suddenly a wave of anxiety passed over you.

Oh god, why did you think of Jimin right now?

Your grip tightened on Jin’s hand out of reflex and he glanced at you, right as your expression shifted from blissfully ignorant to nervously worried.

“Strawberry Flavour, is everything ok? What are you making that face for?”

Jin asked while you approached the building. You fished your keys out of your bag when you came to a halt in front of the door and then turned around to face him.

“Ah, it’s nothing, I just- I have a lot on my mind, is all. These last few days have been great but also exhausting as hell.”

You confess, only telling him the half of the truth. He still hadn’t let go of your hand yet, not even when you had to look for your keys with one hand just seconds ago.

“Yeah, you and Jimin really worked hard. You deserve some rest for sure.”

Jin smiles encouragingly and you appreciate the thought.

“Definitely. My back is killing me but it’s not only that. I think I have some things to think about and figure out.”

You pout a little, starting to get lost in your thoughts again when Jin loudly exclaims his confusion,

“Huh? What do you mean by that? Is it about work?”

He asks and you shake your head.

“No, work is fine. I mean considering the circumstances. There’s this thing that happened the other night and I just really don’t know what to make of it but it’s important. If I just ignore it and pretend it never happened, it could end badly but if I confront it while I’m not sure about my thoughts and feelings it could also end badly, you know? It’s a mess really and I-“

Interrupted by your own thoughts you end your rant prematurely. Looking up at Jin’s still slightly confused face you realize that he might not be the ideal person to relay your conflicted feelings about the kiss to.

Lately you’ve been feeling a shift in your relationship with Jin as well and somehow it didn’t feel right to explain this thing that happened between you and Jimin to him.

Jin was a good friend to you but was that all he was…?

“And you…?”

Jin’s voice startled you back into the moment.

Looking up into his big, kind, brown eyes, you realize that maybe he should be part of it. If these butterflies you’ve been feeling and that warm fuzzy feeling inside you were any indication, then he probably deserved to know that you were extremely confused right now.

And if you interpreted it all wrong then you would just have to live with it.

“Jimin kissed me last night. At home. He was drunk and I don’t think he meant to do it but he did and I don’t know what to feel.”

You blurted out and immediately went quiet again, trying to gouge Jin’s reaction.

The man in question, however, didn’t react immediately. Instead, he slowly let your words sink in and you watched the realization slowly set in.

“Jimin kissed you?”,

“Yes”,

“Was it like- I mean did he try anything else? Did he hurt-“

“NO! No, no he didn’t hurt me”

You gestured wildly to emphasise your answer,

“He would never hurt me, he just surprised me…”

You added, in normal volume this time.

“Ah, I see”,

Jin nodded as he visibly processed all this information and you could swear you saw a flash of hurt and disappointment in his eyes but it was gone in a second.

“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. His crush on you might as well be tattooed on his forehead”,

Jin’s smile looked a little strained and you couldn’t blame him.

Maybe you have been somewhat oblivious to a lot of things happening around you and maybe you even wanted to be ignorant towards it for a good while, too, but it was time to face the music.

“I’m sorry”

You bit your lip. Suddenly, as the conversation was about to turn serious, the dirt under your feet seemed very interesting.

“Why are you apologising? He kissed you, it happens. I just hope he takes good care of you, you deserve it, Strawberry Flavour. Just don’t forget about me when domestic bliss sets in, alright? I’ll still pester you about chicken every day at work”

Jin smiled so brightly, you could almost think he meant it all. He raised his hand to almost touch your face but pulled back in the last second and dropped it back at his side.

He sighed deeply and tightly shut his eyes for a second before shaking it off.

Hiking the backpack higher up his shoulder he stepped back.

“I’ll be going now, it’s getting late and I-“

No, no, this wasn’t the way you wanted it to go! You didn’t even get to say your piece yet!

“- should probably get home soon, I got an early shift in the-“,

“Ya!, Shut up for a second, will you? I wasn’t finished!”

You suddenly yelled, startling Jin into silence and surprising even yourself.

You slapped a hand over your mouth in shock.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell but you were about to leave”

You mumbled. Jin still looked a little taken aback but he didn’t move to leave.

“It’s ok”,

Jin’s voice was a little quieter than before. He placed his hands on the straps of the backpack and

“What else did you want to say?”

You took a deep breath and straightened up, filled by a sudden burst of determination and clarity.

“This whole thing with Jimin, that’s not what I’m sorry for”,

You started and weren’t surprised to find Jin still looking apprehensive and a little unsure. He looked down at his feet and started to speak before you could,

“YN, you really don’t need to explain yourself. What happened with Jimin-“,

“-Made me realize that I wanted it to be you!”,

Quickly, you finished his sentence and he looked up, surprised to be interrupted by you for the second time.

“Huh?”,

“It made me realize that I wanted it to be you, you numbnut, that’s what I wanted to apologize about!”

Slowly you regain your confidence and Jin seems to finally catch up on what you just said.

“I was going to say I’m sorry that that’s what it took for me to realize that I like you. And then tonight when you literally committed a crime for me, I think my brain short circuited and now we’re here.”

The explanation was a simple one but you hoped Jin would appreciate the contents over the brevity.

The man was still trying to comprehend what you just told him.

His face, now back to its usual expression of childlike innocence, also betrayed the rollercoaster of emotions he was experiencing right now.

A few seconds of silence passed by and you were beginning to feel restless,

“Jin, say something”,

He blinked a couple of times, then slowly let the backpack slide down his arms as he stepped towards you.

“Sorry, I just need to hear you say that again.”

He cupped your face in his hands, smooshing your cheeks together in an absurd fashion.

“Icantthpheaklikethis”,

You mumble but Jin doesn’t let up. He punches your skin with his thumbs and forefingers,

“Come on, Strawberry Flavour, I’m hard of hearing”,

“Ugh!”

You grab his hands and pull them away from your face dramatically before taking a deep breath to prepare to yell in his face yet again.

Jin shakes your hands off and grabs your face again before he closes the distance between you and presses his lips to yours. Probably a little harder than intended.

You’re not even mad you didn’t get to yell at him as your brain struggles to register the feeling of his plush lips on yours.

Your eyes fall closed after the initial shock and you fall into him, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him closer to you just as he wraps his arms around you.

Faintly you register your back bumping against the glass doors of the shop and your feet stumbling around to keep from falling over but it all fades into the background pretty quickly.

Only when Jin pulls back just a little for some air, do you regain control over your rational mind.

“JIN!”

You hiss and push at his chest in an effort to create some distance. Jin doesn’t move an inch and only chuckles.

“What?”,

“You interrupted me!”,

“True but in the best way possible, though”,

“I swear to god, you are so-“,

“Handsome? Lovable? An amazing kisser? Ah, Strawberry Flavour, I know, no need to tell me”

He was back to his usual shameless self and you regretted everything immediately.

But not really.

You pulled him into another kiss and gently cradled his face as he held you tightly.

“Yeah, all of those actually”

You admitted with heated cheeks but without a hint of sarcasm and Jin smiled against your lips.

Finally, he thought, finally he could kiss you and hold you and tell you all those disgustingly sweet things he’s been holding inside all this time.

There were probably still a lot of things left unsaid and you and him needed time to unpack it all and do it right but for now he just wanted to hold you close and kiss your breath away before he let you go.

As you enjoyed the moment and giggled quietly like lovesick teenagers, a small detail went unnoticed.

It was Jimin, walking dejectedly back up the stairs in the back of the shop in the dark. While you and Jin had your dramatic little moment, Jimin was woken up by the sound of someone yelling outside and something bumping into the shop doors. As he went downstairs to check on the commotion, he saw you both standing outside, illuminated by the soft glow of a distant street lamp. Instead of a drunk guy causing a ruckus he found you and Jin a position he never wanted to imagine you in.

He should have waited, should have controlled himself better. He should have known that a drunken kiss in the hallway in the middle of the night was definitely not the way to win your heart but he just couldn’t help himself.

Maybe, if he had done things differently, done things right, it could have been you and him.

He slowly hiked up the stairs and wen back to his room, knowing he’d probably be unable to fall back asleep for the foreseeable future.

[killerwizrd555]

love it when girls have dad energy like yes tell me the lamest joke ever please I'm in love with you

[trans-and-unwilling]

Falling in love with you was so easy. It started with your dry sense of humor, your easy smile, playing minecract in US History while staring at the back of your head. Long unruly curls in the sloppiest ponytail because you didn't know how to braid yet, I'd teach you in time.

Then it was your kindness, openly laughing in the hallways with the weird kids, being the only "straight" member of gsa. Surrounded by misfits and oddball queer kids wearing cat ears, you were everyone's favorite. I bet you never knew it, but in having a conversation with you, you had an uncanny way of making someone feel seen.

Then it was falling in love with your opinions on everything. Thursdays were movie nights, watching whatever we decided on, alternating who got to pick and having a running heated commentary during every film. You had thoughts and opinions on everything except when it came to making a decision on what food to eat, then it was "I don't care, you pick."

I also, despite my best efforts, fell in love with how absolutely, uniquely, unbelievably dense you were. God it was excruciating how oblivious you were to my advances. I flirted for months. I taught you how to braid your hair. I used you as a footrest and personal heater whenever I had the chance, using the excuse that I was always cold to press up against you or bury my cold little toes under your thighs. I stole your hoodies. I sent you bikini pictures and nudes and you still didn't catch on. You saw my tits before we ever started dating.

I thought my friends were going to drive to Ohio to beat some sense into you themselves because of how often I was texting them "I don't know how to make it more obvious that I like him! This is getting ridiculous."

And then, on the 25th of September, 2020 in the lamest way possible, I decided to ask you out with a handmade kandi bracelet. When I gave it to you, after having held onto it waiting for the right time for a WEEK, you went "thanks, that's cool" and put it on top of your dresser. I, a vibrating ball of anxiety asked, half hysterical "Did you read it??!" You said "No, was I supposed to?" and I about screamed, "yes!!??" And after an agonising silence you agreed and I flopped on top of you and let out the most long-suffering sigh before hitting you with a pillow, "I'd been trying to do that all week and you didn't even read it until prompted! Hopeless."

After that it was easy, everything with you was easy. I think I can count on one hand the number of fights we had and still have fingers leftover. You made me feel safe, I was allowed to be annoying and insecure and unashamedly autistic and you took it all with grace and understanding.

College was hard, the two hour distance was hard and our schedules never matched up but we made time. Hours of replaying Borderlands 3 and hundreds of games of Overwatch it was always the highlight of my week. I sent you probably thousands of tiktoks. Once you were out of the dorms I even made an effort to drive to you for a weekend every now and then.

It started as a joke with my friends but like a lot of things in my life it stopped being a joke somewhere along the way. I told myself "I'm gonna marry that boy." Every time you did something that made me sigh in exasperation I thought to myself "I'm gonna marry that boy."

But that fateful day in late June I had an epiphany that as soon as it struck I knew my mantra wouldn't come to fruition. The universe holds some vendetta against me and my happiness. Because as soon as I realised that I was a boy, I knew it was over.

Because there was only one thing that could change about me that would take that future away, and all it was, all I couldn't be was a boy.

But, like I said, the universe finds joy in my ironic misery and made me one anyways.

So despite my protests and reservations, I won't marry that boy.

It's 6 days from what would've been our four year anniversary and all I can say is,

it was so easy to fall in love with you, trying to stop loving you is probably the hardest thing I've ever tried to do, it's like choosing to let go of a life raft in a raging sea.

[chuuyascumsock]

You're busy for one afternoon then Denial-chan just pulls the lamest plot twist ever. 2/10, good movie, the ending was rushed tho. 😔

And also... whenever 🧀 says she had a silly idea... I know I'm about to get served a whole meal with dessert. 😋

Anyways... My t-shirt that says I'm committing Tax fraud somehow got lost in delivery and I'm so close to crying about it. How else will I tell people I'm committing Tax fraud. GODDAMNIT. Yes I'm having a mental breakdown.

Yeah, after that tho, I'll hopefully finish editing the Domestic Chuuya fic and publish it, uwu.

- 🪷

Ikr?? I was expecting a cooler plot twist from Denial-Chan tbh… Did not pull through :/

Cheese always has yummy good ideas 😫

I ALSO COMMIT TAX FRAUD (for various reasons, this is a joke— or is it? It is. Or is it..? It is.)

I hope they find your shirt soon and you’re able to get it to show the world you commit crimes like cool people. My sister also admitted to stealing stuff sometimes when she shops alone so THAT’S GREAT. (I told her that if she steals with me and I find out, I WILL bring her ass back to return it because I don’t condone stealing unless you’re broke and it’s for a necessity to live 💀).

I CAN’T WAIT TO READ YOUR DOMESTIC CHUUYA GOODNESS. (I’m working on my super venty dead dove Dazai book where I get to let that trauma go ykwim ✨😋).