#yes slavery existed in the pokemon world

[twinhood-2dot0]

The Love Of My Life, Video Games

Good morning Alex, I’ve talked about 2 of the things I’m most passionate about already, so today I’m gonna delve into the biggest one of them all, video games. Video games are my favourite form of art. It’s the perfect culmination of art, story, music and interactivity. You know what they say, “A jack of all trades is a master of none, but is oftentimes better than a master of one.” I live by this quote tbh. 

My earliest memory of video games is when I was 7 or so, playing Plants Vs Zombies with my best friend. It sparked a lifelong obsession with video games. Now, the name is kinda silly, but this game revolutionised the Tower Defense genre. It’s extremely fun and addicting and has spawned several other sequels. Then I went on to discover Flash games. What are Flash games? Well, there used to be a thing made by Adobe, the Flash Player, which helped in displaying multimedia on a web browser. It was the standard for video games back then. It has been deprecated in favour of modern web technologies, but it has a special place in the hearts of internet kids.

Android Games

Back in the early 2010s, when mobile game developers had passion, business was booming. Classics like Angry Birds, Cut The Rope, Clash of Clans, Temple Run were all made in this era.

I’m sure everyone and their grandparents and their great-grandparents know these games. All of them have sadly fallen into the microtransaction trap or died out (microtransactions, if you don’t know, is the practice of letting players buy in-game currencies or cosmetics, modern games have become more cash grabs than actual games with passion behind them). Nevertheless, they defined my childhood and were the gateway for me to actual games.

Pokemon

The premise of Pokemon is simple. Catch Pokemon (short for Pocket Monsters), make them fight other Pokemon (swear this is not slavery or dogfighting), make relationships, maybe save the world (as a 10 yo might I add, while surrounded by capable adults.) Funny story, I remember crying when I accidentally released my Grovyle thinking release meant releasing it as in having it walk alongside you like Pikachu, not as in bye bye release.

This is Grovyle. You can see why I cried.

Pokemon Red, Gold, and Emerald (yes, I know, ancient games, I’m not a grandma, I just didn’t have a console or know how to emulate consoles back then) were some of the first games I played on PC, because they were available online. Since then, I’ve played pretty much every Pokemon game released with a few exceptions because Pokemon releases two versions of the same game with minor differences (yes, emulated, I’m not buying a 10 year old end of life console that is resold with a huge markup and the original creators are making no money out of it, sue me (Okay, if you’re a Nintendo employee, I know you love suing people, so please don’t take me seriously. Please)). I think Pokemon was the beginning of my obsession with knowing literally everything about a franchise.

Minecraft

The first game I ever bought is Minecraft. I’ve loved watching Minecraft videos on YouTube and playing minecraft knockoffs for a long time before I bought it. My dad bought it for me as a reward for winning 4/8 chess games in the State Championship lol. It’s a sandbox game created by Hatsune Miku (actually, by Markus Persson, or Notch, but he turned out to be a transphobe so we just collectively retconned his existence). It’s a pretty simple game, it’s all about creativity. You can build pretty much everything, people have made actual computers in Minecraft, or, if you like Survival, there’s also a survival mode where the technical endpoint being killing the dragon in the aptly named The End dimension. This doesn’t necessarily have to be the endpoint as you can do whatever you want.

Undertale

Ah, my favourite game ever. This is the game that inspired me to become a game developer. Undertale is an RPG game created in its entirety by Toby Fox, you can see why that inspired 10 yo me. Also, I hate my 10 yo self, she watched HECKING YOUTUBE VIDEOS OF GAMEPLAY. I’ll never forgive her for not letting me experience the game by myself, I swore after this (and one other game I’ll talk about) to never even touch anything pertaining to any media I might potentially interact with ever in my life with a 10 foot pole. I don’t even watch trailers for DC movies, like what, what could the trailer possibly spoil that I haven’t read before in a comic??? I won’t talk much about Undertale as I want you to experience what I couldn’t, but it has a very emotional story that’s made grown adults cry, fun gameplay mechanics, easter eggs literally everywhere, leitmotifs in the music, awesome lore, a lesbian couple who are goals and 6 dogs.

Subnautica

Subnautica is the first PC game I bought. This is the other game I spoke about that made me avoid spoilers like the plague. I regret not being able to experience the terror that this game inflicts, although, it was still plenty scary, would have been scarier had I not known everything about every creature. Subnautica is an underwater exploration game set on a crater on planet 4546B. As someone who loves speculative biology, I was impressed by the thought put into every creature's biology.

The rest of my favourite games

I went on to buy, uh, um, exactly 3 other games, being um, the three Batman: Arkham games. These are very well made games with an awesome story and, pardon the cliche, make you feel like the Batman, addicting gameplay, (believe me, I have a collective 200 hours, and I’ve owned them for a year. Most of the other games I’ve played I’ve gotten on Epic Games for free, yes I’m such a cheapskate I get every game that goes free on Epic Games.

The Tomb Raider series is one famous for creating Lara Croft, probably the most influential female character in video games. I’ve only played the first two games of the Survivor Rebooted trilogy sadly, I wish sometime in the future I’ll get to play the Windows 95 era games.

Alien: Isolation is a game set between the first two movies in the Alien franchise. I watched the movies just so I could play the game, then because I’m a scaredy cat I only played until the alien appeared 💀. The game seems fun tho.

Surviving Mars is a “city” building simulation game. It’s set on Mars, obviously. It’s a very fun game, managing resources, keeping colonizers colonists alive. I suck tho so my colonists keep dying :P

Okay, Alex, that’s it from me this week, sorry it was a little rushed, I forgor 💀, I’ll see you on Thursday

[mt-clydesdale-poke-santuary]

Weekly Lecture: Merton Plantation

Good night everybody and welcome to Weekly Lessons with Dr Mal. Every week I’ll be hosting a presentation on a different historical landmark, custom, or practice of the Yerette region, most of them relating back to the sanctuary. Today’s presentation, as it is the first, will be on the Sanctuary itself. 

The Mt Clydesdale Sanctuary was established in 2010 after a rapid immigration of fairy type pokemon to the Mt Clydesdale area in the previous five years. Prior to 2004, fairy types were rare in the Yerette region and had been since its “discovery” during the age of exploration. Research is currently ongoing into the sudden influx of fairy types to the region and specifically the Mt Clydesdale area. 

Mt Clydesdale itself is the tallest mountain in the Yerette Dorcan range, standing at 1032 metres (3386 feet) and prior to “discovery” was considered a holy site by the native people of the region. Though this was a well lived in and well loved holy site where people would make offerings to the mountain and the surrounding rivers. After colonization by the Catalan and then Galar regions, Mt Clydesdale became the home of a lucrative cocoa plantation, with later diversification into sugar.

Both pokemon and enslaved people were used to work the land which had to be continuously maintained due to the energy of the region. This energy has a variety of effects from changing pokemon typings for short periods of time to effecting the environment in strange and unpredictable ways. During surges we might have landslips on sunny days, muddy sink holes in the dry season, and even inexplicable pools of pitch that suck down anything unlucky enough to be caught in them. Today we have a full maintenance crew on call 24/7 to deal with the effects of the energy but in colonial times, slaves would be forced to work around or deal with these effects directly, often leading to serious injury or loss of life.

Despite the volatility of the land, planters continued to maintain their plantations here because of the rich soil and bountiful harvests the energy would produce. The cost of labour was offset by the guaranteed profit. 

From 1785 to 1830, the grounds of the Sanctuary were then occupied by the Merton Sugar and Cocoa plantation owned by William Merton II, a wealthy Galarian businessman, and his son, Woodford Merton. In its years of operation, the Merton plantation was one of the most lucrative in the region, boasting of higher cane yields and quality cocoa production due to the high concentration of Yerette’s energy and the plantation’s nearness to the sacred mountain. 

In 1803, William passed full control to his son and retired to the plantation itself to enjoy the tropical climate. In 1810 he was found dead in his bed, face a rictus of fear and official cause of death being labeled as “Fright”. Researchers and historians today argue over which specific pokemon must’ve scared William Merton to death, as it could only have been a pokemon. Some say it was a Yeretten Gardevoir while others argue it could’ve been a Maraubeau and some scholars say it could’ve been Papa Bois himself. 

Regardless of who, after Merton Sr’s death, Woodford began enforcing stricter measures of control and harsher punishments on the plantation. Slaves found with non-Galarian pokemon were whipped and the pokemon themselves were either killed or condemned to pokeballs for indefinite periods of time. This new found cruelty leading to more and more runaways from the plantation as well as a greater hatred of Woodford. 

This all came to a head on December 30th 1829, when a slave girl was beaten nearly to death for daring to pet a Molaise. The Molaise was able to escape but the girl was not. That night, the Molaise returned with a copse of Yeretten Trevenant and stole the girl from the plantation. 

On the 1st of January 1830, when Woodford threatened to have every slave on the plantation beaten if they did not present the girl, an enslaved woman by the name of Annette attacked Woodford and others followed her. This led to the biggest and most successful riot in the Yerette region with slaves overrunning the plantation and Woodford being killed in the altercation. His family was tied up and beaten, and when “help” from other plantations arrived, those slave contingents also rebelled. 

Within the week, three plantations along the new East-West corridor were liberated from planters and slaves declared themselves free. In the direct aftermath, Galarian officials in the region hastily recognised this freedom in a bid to stop the spread of rebellion. However, just 4 years later, word would come from Galar that slavery was to be abolished, egged on by rebellions all across the Caribe area. 

In the years following the Merton Rebellion, most slaves fled the plantations, choosing to find work elsewhere, while some remained and tended small plots on the land. However, without a big enough workforce, they found it hard going to contend with the region’s vibrant energy. Eventually, even the hold outs were forced to abandon the land and the former plantation was completely reclaimed by nature. 

It was during these years that ghost types started to take up haunting the ruined buildings. Some of these ghost types, such as Yeretten Yamask and Trevenent contained the spirits of those lost during the revolt, as well as those who perished during the long years of slavery. Other ghost pokemon were simply drawn to the memory of tragedy and pain that enshrouded the area. Shortly after this, native dark types started moving into the area as well, living peacefully alongside their ghost companions. 

In the early 1900s, when international travel started picking up, foreign dark types started migrating to the Mt Clydesdale area without any upset of the native population. The former plantation was left to its own devices all the way until 1962 when Yerette gained full independence from Galar. After that, Yerette had its own government who was in charge of the land, including former Crown and plantation land. 

In 1972, the entirety of Mt Clydesdale was designated as a nature park and pokemon reserve with a heavy duty fence put up around it in order to deter poachers and hunters. Only rangers and supervised researchers were allowed on the land from then until 1989 when it was reclassified as a historical site after petitioning from Yerette native peoples. A shrine was built at the summit of the mountain with a maintained path to it.

The pokemon there lived happily, if a little mischievous, for the next 12 years when the first fairy types were spotted on the mountain. A troop of Clefairy were the first fairy types to gravitate to the mountain, using the shrine path onto the land then making their way up the mountain to the peak. Once at the highest point of the region, they would perform a intricate ritual dance. The first time they were spotted was on a full moon night in 2001. 

For the next 3 years the Clefairy troop would make trips to the mountain on every full moon night to perform their dance then leave in the morning. However, after the troop started expanding midway through the first year, they began staying in the area longer. In 2003 they stayed until the new Cleffa of the troop had evolved, and in 2004 they became full time residents of the mountain. 

The local ghost and dark types were used to the Clefairy troop by then so they had no problem with them, but several more foreign fairy types gravitated towards the mountain. At the same time the mysterious energy of the mountain acted up, causing major landslides and destroying more of the old ruins. This forced all the pokemon into closer proximity and created a more competitive environment. All of which lead to rising tensions and spats between each side. 

My research team officially stepped in in 2008 before any pokemon could get hurt. I was studying under the local professor at the time (Professor Hibiscus) and the issue of Clydesdale was only supposed to be a short diversion from that. After I took a tour of the land though and heard some of the proposals for dealing with the problem, I had to take a break from my apprenticeship to work on the project. 

At the time the popular plan was to remove the ghost and dark types from the area and leave it to the fairy types as they were much rarer and “exotic”. There was a wealth of research and study to be done on them, not to mention the tourism opportunities. However I managed to argue for all the pokemons’ safety and enrichment, as well as the preservation of the historical site, not to mention the danger of the mountain’s energy. 

In the end we were able to classify the area as a poke sanctuary for all three types with a rotating crew on site for pokemon protection, research, and historical preservation. We were able to renovate a few of the buildings, the once great house is our main research lab now, and a few of the barracks buildings are greenhouses for experimental plants.

The former crop land has been completely overtaken by the local flora and the pokemon though we do have a small cocoa crop on the grounds. If you plan on visiting the sanctuary, we do have guided tours that go far more in depth into the history of the former plantation and the ghost types who’ve lived since our colonial past. And for researchers we have onsite archives recovered from the original great house records for your cautious perusal.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this presentation, or at least learned something interesting. If you have any questions, our ask box is always open and we love sharing everything about our lovely little sanctuary. Thanks so much for your time and hope to see you next week. 

[eactivist]

Dear [Congressman, who has neither supported nor rejected Pai’s plan]

I cannot speak for all of America, much less all of the Asians-Americans, the high schools, or to California itself. Although I am part of all of these, I am also a youth, a part of the next generation.

As a youth, “education” factors into why our voices are not heard: we do not have multiple degrees, our bubbles have yet to be popped, and our situational awareness remains dim, limited to our childhood models as a reflection of their views.

But the Internet fixes part of this. You see, we can get degrees online. We can take classes on Khan Academy or FutureLearn. Social media itself forms learning spheres where we become exposed to videos and actions from all over the world, where we can interact with others with different heritages, in different languages, with different flashbulb memories and insights.

Accessing the Internet is part of the globalization process today, allowing us to find our own identity among others. From a simple retweet, we expose not just ourselves, but our friends and family to content we would never have perhaps learned, such as slavery in Libya, where people are sold as little as four hundred dollars.

What social media, online blogs, and shopping websites all show are current trends. They show the fads of human nature. Yes, they show fallacies, but most of all, they show the eclectic voices of humans. To put more of a filter on that by price already inhibits the true reflection of the conscience of society.

And without a doubt, the youth generation is known to be addicted to the screen, to watch copious amounts of TV and movies, to excessively play video games and apps, such as Pokemon Go to Animal Crossing.

We download these apps on the Play or App store. And in this virtual store, there are entertainment services for the youth, a startup market for the youth, and a place to innovate novel ideas for the youth. A future for small content creators among the youth’s creativity would be limited.

In a partisan, polarized society, memes, likes, and shares bring the youth together. How would that remain when Facebook may cost a monthly fee like Netflix?

The Internet provides opportunities, such as the Women’s March in Washington, whose organization, without net neutrality, may not have able to been afforded. #MeToo give women, the Silent Breakers, a source of empowerment to find their voices. Hollywood’s secret history of sexual harassment, highlighted by Harvey Weinstein, would never have been exposed to the public.

Let’s be frank. Your, and any other member of Congress, goal is to be re-elected. And to be re-elected, you target those who vote. Well, it’s no surprise that Congress targets the elderly, 65 years and above, who, since 1968, have had more than 60% vote. And, the youth? Well, the youth, ages 18-24, have had less than 50% vote since 1968, hitting even 30% in 1996, while the elders have had around 70%.

It is a fact that out of the voting age population, the elders are targeted. It’s the reason why Medicare and Medicaid and Social Security are virtually untouchable. It’s why in my city, Rancho Cucamonga, in Central Park, there is a senior center instead of soccer fields or swimming pools.

So now it boils down to the question—the chicken or the egg?:

Do the youth not vote because they feel Congress does not respond to them (rather, the elders) or does Congress not target the youth because they don’t vote?

So I ask you, Congress, to end this chicken or the egg debate by stepping up to be the chicken, helping the egg hatch. Restore our faith and let our voices be heard. The youth grew up on technology, with no broadband providers directly discriminating between fast and slow lanes.

Congress, however, has the chance to prove to the youth that it does not have to be this way.

And not just to the youth.

According to Gallup Poll’s 2014 “Public Confidence in Institutions”, Congress had around 30% who said they have a “great deal” or “quite a lot” of confidence. This was the lowest rating out of newspapers, the Supreme Court, the President, the military, and churches.

There is a chance to increase this rating. And there is a reason Ajit Pai proposed his plan now. Show that while Congress focus’ on the tax reform, the debt limit, DACA, etc will not come at the literal cost of net neutrality. Uphold the United Nation’s statement in 2016 that “accessing the Internet is a human right.”

Pai’s reasoning states that the Internet ran fine before the FCC imposed net neutrality rules around 2015. Correction: the FCC formally adopted network neutrality rules for the first time in 2010, filed a complaint all the way back as 2008, and established principles of net neutrality all the way back to 2005.  

It’s not that before the 21st century there was a total, free, open Internet. Some amount of regulation always existed in some form. Indeed Stanford Professor, Barbara van Schewick notes “we have always had a de facto network neutrality regime in the U.S. — first, through the architecture of the Internet, and later, through a mix of formal and informal FCC regulation and action. This de facto regime prevented or at least deterred blocking and discrimination.”

Who’s to say this de facto network neutrality regime will still exist when “Comcast, Verizon, and AT&T want Congress to make a net neutrality law because they will write it”?

And when ISPs no longer operate under common carriers, they have the power to deter and block and discriminate between fast and slow lanes, which is why it’s essential Ajit Pai’s plan for Internet Service Providers to not be classified as broadband providers.

And if ISPs are classified as “broadband providers”, what choice do you and I really have at 25 megabits per second down or 3 megabits per second up (the FCC's definition of broadband)? How is this the competition that Ajit Pai proclaimed when desiring to define ISPs as broadband?

Perhaps Ajit Pai is right when he says we “had a free and open internet prior to 2015.” Key word: Had. Who’s to guarantee we will have a “free and open internet once these regulations are repealed” — especially when “Verizon told a federal court in 2013 that it should have the right to charge any website any fee Verizon liked — and if, for instance, the Wall Street Journal didn’t pay up, Verizon should be allowed to block its site”?

Verizon’s proclaimed “rights” thus would surmount individual rights. After all, rights are a part of Ajit Pai’s meticulous and well-crafted plan.

He aims to eliminate all net neutrality rules, except the modified transparency rule, which means ISPs have to tell their customers that they are engaging in practices — such as entering into deals with online companies to put them in a fast lane to the ISP’s customers. All of these are prohibited by the current rules.

If these are violated when net neutrality is repealed, the FTC will not be able to intervene since the company has disclosed that it has paid fast lanes, charges online companies for access to users, and blocks those that don’t pay.

In other words, without net neutrality, the FTC lacks the power and tools to police net neutrality violations. With current net neutrality rules and ISPs also under Title II, the FTC can intervene.

And while the FTC is independent of the government, the ISPs seem to not follow: the ISPs have more power in Congress now that the FCC is led by a man who used to be a lawyer for Verizon.

It doesn’t stop there. This year in March, 2017 the Senate voted to allow ISPs to sell customer data, including browsing history without prior customer consent. And while the Senate is Republican-controlled, it isn’t an issue about party, not when 73 percent of Republicans, 80 percent of Democrats, and 76 percent of independents want to keep the current protections.

Ajit Pai wants the government to stop micromanaging businesses, so that the “vibrant and free competitive market” will return to its’ former glory, “unfettered by Federal or state regulation.”

Without “micromanaging”, what stops anarchy? Without rules, what stops one branch in government from superseding another? Repealing net neutrality would allow business to supersede the rights of the people, all the way to the youth. And trust in businesses, according to the Guardian, have “declined in two-thirds of the 27 markets the survey” covered and “is now below 50% in 14 markets, the worst showing since 2008.”

Sure, rules cannot stop LiAngelo from shoplifting in China. But they can set a precedent to others to not do the same. They define morality, what we should and should not do. Rules can make sure Larry Nassar, former USA Gymnastics doctor, serve 60 years in prison for child porn.

By allowing ISPs to no longer operate under “common carriers” in Title II, we allow businesses to influence this thought of society. We allow what the youth access on the Internet to be micromanaged itself. In the house, there are the youth, the children, the toddlers, and so on and so forth. If our voices are not heard, then the house is not home for these differing voices. And as Lincoln said, a house divided against itself will not stand.

I am a constituent and net neutrality rules matter to me. Please oppose Ajit Pai’s plan. You can speak for me, for Asian-Americans, for those in high schools, and for the youth.

[rogue-rook]

many many highlights from The Crystal Kingdom from a first-time TAZ listener

featuring some bits from the Lunar Interlude II: Internal Affairs

travis: “it was streaming on witch. that’s like magical twitch!”

SWEET ANGO HAS RETURNED!

i cannot believe griffin went to the EFFORT of making a fantasy costco jingle

the lockpicking garden gnome called the Nitpicker that insults the damn party is a beyond brilliant object for sale at the fantasy costco

I really want to lodge a complaint with the HR department of the bureau of balance on sweet angus macdonald’s behalf bc these grown men are FULL ON BULLYING THIS TEN YEAR OLD BOY GENIUS

so is this new shitty scientist consultant lucas a bigger annoyance than shitty train butler wizard jenkins or does jenkins still retain that title

travis: "anything this touches turns to crystal?" griffin: "yeah, pink tourmaline" travis: "yeah, I'm not gonna say that, because I'm an adult"

CAREY FANGBATTLE is like on par with Jess the Beheader in terms of Cool Names

griffin: “so the three of you are currently sitting in a gondola, which is another word for a little boat” travis, singing: “the more you knoooowww”

“so it’s made of crystal, right?” “yes, everything is crystal” x1000000

the crystal kingdom song is beautiful

griffin: “you see a sign that says The Magical World Of Elevators” justin: “griffin's really stickin it to the people who say he's not allowed to have elevators in this game”

today in failed brand marketing: “Upsy, your lifting friend”

this arc is ACTUALLY set up like a video game level puzzle, when griffin says “ah, you’ve solved my crystal puzzle” it will actually apply

clint: “I rolled a 4 but I get another roll...a 5″ travis: “wow, you're really bad at dnd”

merle: “I'm gonna use Banishment on the cockroach” griffin: “okay, you're just gonna yell GET OUT OF HERE COCKROACH, I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE”

magnus is being fucking mean to lucas, the genius inventor, and he’s been a TOTAL DICK to sweet boy genius detective angus macdonald, and i feel like pointing out that he was WAYYY nicer to shitty evil wizard train butler jenkins who beheaded a guy with a teleportation door

griffin: “one of the signs is labeled Radiation Ventilation Maintenance Chamber, and the other is labeled Lil Genius BuddyBot R&D" travis: "I feel like this is a trick” clint: “I feel like griffin has been playing Fallout”

I LOVE HODGE PODGE THE LIL GENIUS BUDDYBOT!!! EVEN IF HE TURNS OUT TO BE EVIL, THE SOUND OF HIS VOICE MADE ME LOVE HIM PRETTY INSTANTLY AND NOTHING CAN CHANGE THAT

hodge podge: “magnus! merle! take-o” goddamnit griffin

justin: “can we just put the stone of far speech in front of the robit and griffin, you can just talk to yourself?”

hodge podge is exactly the kind of unsettling demon robit with a mostly-adorable voice, except for when he goes demon-y, that I expected from griffy

justin: “my character taako has innate skills in: investigation, nature, history, religion, arcana, and religion” so is he double good at religion then

taako: “okay, I got a question for you: who....do we work for?”

lucas: “hey, are you just mean to everyone?” THANK GOD SOMEONE VOICED THIS LEGITIMATE FUCKING CONCERN, THE GRUBBY GRIFTERS ARE MONSTERS

clint: “I look up what scrumbled means” griffin: “justin said that in a Monster Factory once and I’ve been using it like it’s a real word” justin: “I am the lewis carroll of my generation”

noel the friendly medic robit’s voice started at vaguely-angus like and then became straight up country southern and i really hope somebody calls griffin on it

i really think griffin introduced the nitpicker so he could have a way of introducing his own critiques of his dad and brothers’ dnd skills

the little compact mirror has some shit in it that i think must be important

there’s a rift in space and time and pink tourmaline is coming out of it and the damn song is super ominous and making me MEGA NERVOUS and honestly i don’t know what the flying goddamn fuck is happening but i am SO INTO IT

lucas: “you’re just yelling hugbears at me” magnus: “BUG! HEARS!” “what” “what”

so is lucas just like holding these poor bugbears in fucking slavery

the grubby grifters discover the tourmalined body of boyland and magnus asked if he can DESECRATE THE GODDAMN BODY OF HIS TRAGICALLY DECEASED COWORKER

griffin: “these two figures are just taking these ice robits to Fool School”

awww they’re gonna fight one of my favorite little creepy crawlies! human sized tardigrades that will absolutely fuck their shit up!!! so cute

griffin: “you’re so loosey-goosey with your possessions! ‘hi scuddle-buddy! bye scuddle-buddy! go get on that train to hell!’”

clint/merle’s immediate panic when they decide the only option here is to CHOP HIS GODDAMN ARM OFF

killian, after picking lucas up: “THIS HAS BEEN THE WORST SHITTIEST DAY EVER, WE ARE TWO PEOPLE DOWN, YOUR LAB SUCKS!!” #relatable, I feel u killian

during this arc the mcelboys keep talking about how they don’t remember shit from the beginning of the show bc that was two years ago and im like what? what? that was three days ago, friends!! its bc ive binged this shit in under a WEEK

merle basically has a plant fetish okay, that’s the only reason this soul-wood shit worked

griffin: “it actually curls up and gives you a thumbs up as if to say 'hey! I'm your arm now!’”

so like this planar system shit is probably important, right

this parseltongue motherfucker that’s like fucking haunting the grubby grifters needs to start explaining what their whole, like, DEAL is

this Red Robe dude is having a FREAKOUT over the damn umbrella and im like mmmmm maybe taako shouldn’t have just taken the damn umbrella, no questions asked

killian’s scanner is having a major freakout over a lich being present and im like, yeah, its the fucking umbrella, yall

oh, real quick, the mcelboys gotta pause the action to whine at each other about character voices

killian: “I am going to ABSOLUTELY murder that man” yeah, killian remains the most goddamn relatable npc in this fucking world

i sure hope The Adventure Zone Zone doesn’t have any super important info in it, bc im not gonna listen to the mcelboys talk about the maxfun drive from two fucking years ago

the crystal golem just called the grubby grifters bounties, and said it was time for noelle the friendly medic robit and the grubby grifters to all go back to the astral plane and im like WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? GRIFFIN! WHAT?

OH FUCK ITS BEEN KRAVITZ THIS WHOLE GODDAMN TIME!!!!! KRAVITZ!!!!!

griffin: “a D6 is like a dice-ass-dice! that's like some monopoly shit!!”

kravitz: “i don’t even know how that even worked, like with physics”

taako: “luke! use the fork!” merle: “the fork will be with you, always”

magnus: “I want to roll an investigation check on noelle...I rolled a 2″ griffin: “okay well you know noelle is a robot”

YALL!! SHITTY TRAIN BUTLER WIZARD JENKINS AND MAGIC BRIAN THE GERMAN MORON BOTH CAME BACK!!

magic brian the german dumbass: “i had an invitation to my wedding for you, and instead of RSVP-ing, you murdered me!”

travis: “when you say they evaporate, do they go back to heaven or hell or the after plane, or whatever, or are they GONE?” griffin: “it kinda seems like you obliterated their soul. kinda seems like you just kinda ERASED them” travis: “you know, at the end of day, I punch people, but dad unmakes their existence, who's the real monster?”

the fact that noelle died in phandolin when the grubby grifters and gundren rockseeker turned the whole town to glass is so goddamn fucking tragic, THANKS GRIFFIN!!!!

lucas miller: yet more proof that dickin around with science and magic and mad scientist shit is always gonna end badly for everyone

kravitz: “taako, you’ve died eight times”...[...]..”magnus, you’ve died 19 times”...[...]...”merle highchurch, the richest bounty i have ever hunted, you have died 57 times” WHAT?? WHAT? WHAT???? WHAT???? GRIFFIN!!??? WHAT????

THIS STORYLINE IS LIT

griffin: “a legion of ghosts” justin: “great”

i think both griffin and I have forgotten that carey fangbattle and killian are in this scene. also merle has had a soul-bond wood arm this whole time

the grubby grifters beat a goddamn LEGION of ghost robits, or ghrobits, and then kravitz slides back into the scene all like “uh, hey, assholes, thanks for saving me, I’ll make up some legal loophole bullshit to thank you” that’s not a direct quote, that’s me editorializing. i fucking love kravitz

taako: "they found new bodies, just because they're mechanical doesn't mean the life is any less valid - battlestar galactica"

oh fuck magnus got a cheating deck of cards in like episode goddamn THREE and he just whips em out in episode fucking 39 against kravitz

kravitz, massively misunderstanding the assholes he’s talking to: “the rules of nature are there for a reason, so lets just stop running afoul of them, as if this all just funsy-fun make-believe!”

magnus: “kravitz! tell julia I love her” TRAVIS!!!! TRAVIS MCELROY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO MY HEART!!!

lucas: “you'll never see me again, but if you do, i'll be doing good, and please don't kill me instantly”

justin: “i give angus a thumbs down” motherfuckers

killian: “hell yes! I love this plan! me and carey, and a robot ghost with a gun arm! sounds like a plan!” magnus: “sounds like a spinoff!” killian: “that’s sounds like some torchwood shit!”

davenport the goddamn pokemon

on one hand, I’m really goddamn suspicious that the director isn’t actually destroying the relics but is collecting them for her own gain. but on the other hand, if this turns out to not be true, I will feel bad for suspecting her so hard

taako: “director, here’s the truth. what did you have for lunch on Dec 3 2015? you don’t remember right? that’s when you told us not to talk to the Red Robes. what’s I’m saying is WE FORGOT!”

YOOO THIS EPILOGUE PROPHECY IS SOOOOOOO COOOOOL GRIFFIN!!! WHAT IS THIS!!!! ITS SO GOOD!!!!!!

this was a wild wild wild wild ride and whatever griffin is doing with this story is LIT

[chaos-in-pandoras-box]

Spirit Keeping Basics (according to Chaos in Pandora’s Box)

What is Spirit Keeping/ Companionship? ~Spirit keeping, or Spirit Companionship, as we prefer to put it, is the act of creating a link between a human being and an astral being or spirit so that the two can interact on a frequent basis. This is done through conjuration (the summoning of spirits) and binding (the act of creating ethereal ties between the companion and their spirits.) The spirits cover a wide range of beings. Basically, if it's been imagined, it's in the astral, to some extent. All those creatures you've been told are just your imagination? Yeah, they're totally real.  You're not crazy for believing in them. What is a vessel? ~For those of you new to the concept of spirit keeping, you may be wondering what the heck a "vessel" is. Well, in short terms, a vessel is an object that's used to link the human companion's energies with their spiritual friend's energies. It's not a prison, as some people would have you believe, nor is it the only way to interact with a spirit companion. Any legitimate conjurer would never dream of imprisoning a spirit in an object. A vessel is a conduit, nothing more and nothing less. Now, as to what a vessel can be, the limit is your imagination! I've seen paintings used, as well as dolls, jewelry (most common). gemstones, writing utensils, power tools, you name it, it can be a vessel. The only thing not recommended for use as a vessel is food, because it's perishable and won't last very long. What does "binding" mean? ~This is something important to discuss, because there's a lot of negativity surrounding this word in the Spirit Keeping community. Many people think the work "binding" automatically means "slavery" and this is not the case with reputable sellers. I have covered this in a forum post, but I'll recap here. A binding is the forming of an energetic tie from one energy source to another. (In the most basic definition) It's done with full consent of the parties (purchasing a spirit binding implies consent on the part of the human companion) Bindings often include safeguards for both the human and the spirit or entity. There are certain rules implied, but they vary from conjurer to conjurer. At the core, a binding will ensure that the spirit or entity is never able to harm their keeper, directly or indirectly. How do I bond with my spirits? ~There are countless ways to welcome a new companion into your home. We recommend finding some quiet time where you can be alone. Hold the spirit's vessel in one hand, close your eyes, and call their name a few times. Pay close attention to your body and the atmosphere around you. What changes? Even the most subtle changes can be your spirit manifesting. When you're first starting out we recommend that you take anything out of the ordinary as a sign from your spirit. Keep these observations close to your heart, write them down, and gradually you'll learn the difference between "Oh, that was just an everyday freak happening" and "Oh! It was a sign from my companion." Sometimes announcing a manifestation to the world can spoil its sacredness. Make sure you have permission from your companion before sharing it. As far as offerings go, you can give them to your spirit as often or infrequently as you choose. It's polite to give them some sort of offering if you're tasking them to do something, because that's an energy exchange. Put yourself in their shoes. What do you think they'd like to have as a small gift? You can just set the offering near their vessel for a few hours. If it's food, you can either eat it afterwards, or throw it away. (Up to you.) If it's crystals you can recharge the crystals and use them again. Waste not, want not! And don't be afraid to get creative. Write letters, listen to music they like, invite them into your everyday lives. I can't feel my spirit. What should I do? ~This one, as I'm sure you can imagine, comes up A LOT. Number one: DO NOT FREAK OUT. Spirits move back and forth between their realms and ours frequently. They may have just popped off to their realm for a bit. However, it's also important to remember that these beings are sentient energies, and as such they all have personalities just as diverse and varied as humans. Some are quiet and prefer keeping to themselves, whereas others are social butterflies and will floor you with their manifestations. It is easy to lose hope if you can no longer feel a companion. Believe me I've been there, I know. When I first started buying vessels from other sellers, I had a complete blackout in communication. One week I could feel them as strongly as ever, and then a week with nada. Not even a twitch. And I stayed on this roller coaster for a while. Full communication, blackout. Full communication, blackout. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was going on. Then I started to notice a pattern. During each blackout, I had something else going on in my life that I should have been paying attention to. My emotions were out of balance and were creating major blockages. So if you're experiencing a blackout, it's time to look away from your companions and work on yourself. They won't get upset, they won't get exasperated, and they won't hate you for taking a break. Matter of fact, I've had more than one spirit tell me I'm too hard on myself. So in short, don't panic if you're feeling a blackout. If you felt something at the start, then never fear, it is there. They will come back stronger, provided you work on yourself first. Do I need to open my third eye more? ~Short answer: No...and yes. Long answer: Your chakras are a bit more complex than you think. When people refer to the "third eye," usually they're referring to the psychically sensitive space between your eyes and a little above your nose. Just like many other points on our body it is a chakra space, and one that is attuned to psychic vibrations. However, strengthening your third eye chakra can throw your other chakras out of whack. As with everything else, there needs to be a balance. So all those "third eye" improvement spells and attunements? I personally haven't had one work for me unless is strengthens the other chakras at the same time. Now I know there may be some controversy surrounding this post, so I'd like to remind you all that this is my opinion, not the gospel truth  Instead of focusing JUST on your third eye, why not raise the vibrations of all your chakras? What if I've been spiritually deaf all my life? Can I still keep companions? ~In short: Yes. You may hear of many people who have been sensitive to spirits most of their lives coming into the spirit keeping community, but there are those who haven't even believed in spirits before joining the community as well. Truth be told, we all sort of start over when we join this community. For those of us that have interacted with unbounds most of our lives, the concept of binding may be new. Or it may not. It all depends on the individual. If you've been "spiritually deaf" for most of your life, you may just have to work a little harder for what comes naturally to some other keepers. But the fact that you're here in this community and have a strong desire to learn speaks volumes. If you are ready and willing, you will find yourself opening up to possibilities you'd never thought of before. And don't be afraid to reach out to others who have been "spiritually deaf" when they first started out. You never have to feel alone. I've seen this especially with those very new to Spirit Keeping. They want everything to be a manifestation, so it is. But then the day after nothing out of the ordinary happens, so they complain. This roller coaster is pretty common when someone first starts out. What people need to remember as well is that everything moves in cycles. Their spirits may have spend a ton of energy one day to manifest, and the next day they're recovering. The problem is with people posting like that, they lack the patience to work with their spirits long term. They have to realize that there may be times of a blackout in communication, and that's okay. It's normal. What they shouldn't do is freak out about it. What's the difference between spirits, entities, thoughtforms, and servitors? ~There's not a lot of decisive information on this matter, but here's how we classify these different beings: Thoughtforms are collections of energy that our subconscious creates when we use our imagination. They can be sentient or non-sentient. Beings like Slenderman, Jeff the Killer, and the Doctor are all examples of thoughtforms, born from someone's imagination. They're usually short lived unless they're fed from multiple sources. Spirits, on the other hand, are the energy left behind after an entity dies and their soul moves onto the next life. All of their thoughts and energies remain behind, forming the Spirit of who they were during their life. They still have ties to the Soul, or the core of their being. They're like echoes. Servitors are sentient or nonsentient thoughtforms that are deliberately created by someone (usually a practitioner) to fulfill a specific purpose. They can look like anything, from a small butterfly to your favorite pokemon, an anime girl or boy, any TV character, and anything in between. Finally, entities are beings that live on a different plane than humans do, but they're still living and active as we humans are. What manifestations can I expect from my spirits? ~This is a big subject when people are getting into spirit keeping, because of course everyone wants tangible proof that their spirits do in fact exist and they're not just imagining things. But where to start? What to look for? This is the time when most people either give up keeping altogether, or despair because they think they aren't "advanced" enough to experience their spirits fully. This is a tricky business, because everyone walks the razor's edge with manifestations. On the one side there is the true manifestations of the spirits, and on the other side is the imagined signs of spirits that our minds conjure up. So how do we walk this fine line? Number one, confirm any manifestations you think you receive through different methods of divination. Tarot, pendulum, spirit boards, bibliomancy, and so on. If you still doubt yourself, feel free to ask the conjurer or another trusted professional for advice. And my biggest advice for this? Remove yourself emotionally from the situation. If you cannot approach manifestations with calm logic and are emotionally charged, that's when a lot of people trip. If you want something to happen badly enough, you can make it happen. However, that may not be your spirits, it might just be you. That's why I encourage you to check different sources for your answers. So when you experience something, ask yourself if you were looking for a manifestation at the time or wanted something to happen. Most of the physical manifestations I experience happen when I'm not expecting them. Why? I don't know yet, I just know that that's my experience. Now, onto what to look for in manifestations. Honestly, they can be just about anything. A general list may be orbs, streaks of unexplained light, dark shadows flickering in the corner of your vision, thoughts that seem out of character for you, cravings for things you don't normally enjoy, a certain color you keep noticing everywhere, numbers that repeat themselves, words that repeat themselves, things in nature that look slightly out of place, the way frost creeps over a window, temperature changes around your body or the spirit's vessel, etc etc. You get the idea  And as to the repeating colors, words, or numbers, I'll share my personal experiences there. I almost never notice the repeat the first couple of times. It takes a bit for my slow brain to catch up, but if something keeps popping up more than three or four times, I know it's a sign. When first starting out, I wouldn't recommend expecting fireworks. Even with more advanced keepers I know of only a select few who have experienced a full on physical manifestation. If you keep looking for the big bang manifestations, you might be missing all the tiny cues that happen around you every day. How can I conjure? ~Number one: Belief. It's my personally held belief that everyone starts out knowing how to conjure. When we're young, we have "imaginary" friends and so on, but as we grow up society smashes that ability and we lose the confidence in ourselves to keep those friends close. If you want to be able to conjure, step one is to actually believe you can do it. If you doubt spirit keeping or if you doubt yourself, I wouldn't recommend setting foot on this path. Number two: Research. Ask other sellers how they started. Ask them if they have tips. Look into the different styles of conjuring. Take classes if they're offered. Learn everything you can about the subject. Now keep in mind sellers may not share their methods with you, and that's okay. People tend to keep their methods private to keep others from stealing their ideas. Number Three: Figure out your style. Do you like big, flashy rituals or the simple, quiet ones? Will you speak aloud or do everything silently? What protection will you have in place? How will you be able to tell the difference between a trickster and a genuine spirit? What sort of circle will you draw? Will you have candles, incense, and all the bells and whistles, or something simpler? Number Four: Did I mention PRACTICE? Probably the most important part of conjuring is to practice. Whatever your method is, repeat it over and over. If you don't have anything at first, keep trying. Now these are all basic steps that could be applied to anything, really. If you truly wish to learn to conjure, I'd recommend first and foremost to talk to a trusted professional. Learn from their mistakes. Find your individual style. And this is going to sound like a sex ad, but ALWAYS USE PROTECTION! Never ever, under any circumstances, conjure without wards and protections in place. Doing this would invite in chaos that I'm pretty sure most people wouldn't be equipped to deal with. And that's another thing; don't get in over your head. Don't start out conjuring all those sexy demons you see in the shops just because they appeal to you. Conjure what works best with your energies. It may be an angel, it may be a demon, it may be a shifter, etc etc. You know what's best for you in the end. Don't conjure just because you want a certain spirit. You may end up with more than you can handle. What should I ask a seller to see if they're reputable/ethical or not? ~The Meta world is full of minefields. People telling you to do this or that, people telling you to buy this or that. It's understandable why a lot of new people get totally confused. I've seen people get so paranoid that they shun anything from the Para world because there's just too much of a risk that they'll get cheated out of something. And then there are those that get burned time and time again because they stumble into the dishonest sellers. So...how are they supposed to protect themselves? Well, I'm not an expert, but I have seen a few trends that I can speak out about. 1. Prices are not an indicator of skill. This is a big one that I think trips a lot of people up. Almost everything from conjurers is self-priced. There's no "standard" that anyone has to hold up to, because each working is different. However, there's some common sense to keep in mind-Just because a seller's prices are low doesn't mean that they're not reputable or legitimate. On the opposite end, just because a seller's prices are through the roof doesn't mean they're any more legitimate than someone with low prices. Matter of fact, from what I've seen many of the higher-priced conjures have had some not-so-impressive results. But anyway, my point is this: don't panic if you see quite the price difference between sellers. There's many different things to take into account: The cost of the vessel itself, the amount of energy and work that goes into the conjuration and binding of a spirit or entity, shipping, and so on. And it's also important to look at whether conjuring is the person's only source of income. If it is, then their prices may be a little higher because they're using the money to support themselves. Those that have other jobs can perhaps afford to have their prices a little lower. (Mind you, this is a general statement and may not be true for everyone.) 2. A conjurer/seller is not validated by anything they say. They are validated by their customers. I don't care if they've had ten years' experience or ten days. Here's a saying I live by: Results matter. Someone can have all the experience in the world and even they may slip up from time to time. Or a newbie could do everything right from the word "Go." The important thing to do here is pay attention to your gut. Does a seller's bragging about their experience put you off? Does someone's bashing of a seller intrigue you? Intuition doesn't lie. People may misinterpret it from time to time and come to an incorrect conclusion, but I like to think that it never lies. 3. Of course, both the above points lead to this one: Ask questions of the seller. If you're looking at someone new, pepper them with questions. If they answer you readily, and their answers are verified by others, pretty sure it's safe to say that that's a green light. If they stall or give you answers that don't seem to jive with what you've read about them, then something's up. Here's a few questions you can ask sellers: What does your binding consist of? (Now keep in mind they may not answer fully, because each conjurer prefers to keep some secrets close, but they should be able to get you a general idea of what they do.) How do you conjure/What are the protections you put in place to make sure that you're conjuring the right spirit? (Again they may not share everything, but they should be able to give you a general idea) When did you conjure your first spirit? What was it like? Which Arts do you work with the most? White, Grey, Dark, or Black? What are some safeguards you have in place to buffer the Companion from their spirit if they're feeling overwhelmed? What is your return policy for a spirit and Companion that just doesn't connect well on an energetic level? And this is a big one: What do you think of other sellers? (You can name specific sellers here, or just leave it general.) This question will give you a feel for the conjurer's personality. Have you had issues with customers in the past concerning your conjures? How did you resolve the issue? Can I follow up with you after I purchase a binding/How available are you after our transaction is completed? If anyone else thinks of some other questions, let me know.  My point here being, for the newbies at least, is don't be afraid to ask questions. If a conjurer doesn't get back to you right away, ask anyone here. A lot of us have been around the block a few times, and we've seen conjurers and shops come and go. (All information was compiled from the Newbie Station on MetaSpirit and is originally Pandora's.)

[tulog]

Wah!! Tell me more about your ideas about the region that is philippines-like~!!!

ran;; going to start with a disclaimer again~

my philippine history sucks. i can only get material online or from books written by white people l o l and we know how biased they are because i live in the united states, and where i live in the us, it’s hard to find good primary sources or those written by filipinos.

i am pure tagalog who has little exposure, outside of reading, to the other cultures of the philippines, and by being tagalog, i have privileges which may affect my opinions (do call me out! i need to learn)

the rest of this post will be a rough draft because i’m still in the process of worldbuilding and looking for others who might be interested in it to offer a different view on things.

okay but supernatural beings as pokemon tho. 

a dark/flying pokemon who self-dismembers themself at the waist, grows bat wings to fly, and hunts for people wandering the night. Their lower half is very much still alive (manananggal). 

a fighting/ghost pokemon who has the power of invisibility and likes to play pranks on people and though they may not mean any harm, their prank victims might end up ill or dead (tikbalang). 

a fairy pokemon who disguises themselves as a cute and innocent-looking creature only to attack their unsuspecting victim (tiyanak).

a ground pokemon who lives underground. they leave their tail above ground, looking like a stack of stones or mushrooms. whoever trips over them or tries to pick them up are pulled underground (puting baba).

a ghost/dragon pokemon who guards their property or mythical places against trespassers. whoever they harm are cursed (pili).

a grass/ghost pokemon who is said to be the spirits of hastily-buried corpses from a terrible war centuries ago. they block the road, looking like a rolled up mat accidentally left behind (pasatsat).

a grass/psychic pokemon who are spirits of certain trees. they use precognition to help farmers take care of crops. they enjoy music and wine (palasekan).

a water/fairy pokemon with eight heads and commands the weather. although they are usually benevolent, they are terrifying when angered and can summon storms and floods (naga).

a poison pokemon who suffocates their victim by using their hair to enter the eyes, nose, ears, and mouth while emitting an awful odor (malakat).

honestly just this entire list gods

it’ll be like alola 3.0. sunny, pretty, and if you breathe, you die. but yes back to the region itself.

overall, the region is centered less on pokemon battles and more on pokemon preservation. think of it as a median between the regions from the core games and the regions from the pokemon ranger sidegames (taking this moment to thank @illunasionary​ for reminding me the existence of the ranger games–honestly saved me the headache of worrying if this fanmade region is too ooc for the pokemon world l o l). this regions revolves around the anito, pokemon, and humans and believes in the need for the three to coexist to keep peace. 

the anito has it pretty easy–they can adapt to any environment as long as their “realm” is safe and healthy. for humans, they are continually evolving to adapt to the world and have the world adapt to them. for pokemon, they rely more on the natural world; thus if the humans are too ambitious in forcing the world to their views, it’s the pokemon who will suffer the most, which would lead to the anito lashing out due to the imbalance of the world, and that will end in utter destruction, something which has happened centuries ago. one major war was against other regions who wanted to expand their power beyond their homeland. it begun with pokemon and humans working together but as circumstances grew dire, pokemon were maltreated and forced to fight. another major war was of different cultures of the region fighting one another. there was mistrust, hunger for power, slavery, deforestation, political disagreements… pretty much all accumulated to a war. in both instances, the anito stepped in and though they caused more damage than good, some of them were actually sympathetic toward the humans’ plight.

humans of this region have a shaky balance to maintain. they respect the anito as much as the pokemon and vice versa. while pokemon battles are still pretty popular in this region, it’s strictly regulated.

it is considered a criminal offense to let a pokemon faint during a battle. In unofficial matches, it is up to the trainers to gauge their pokemon’s health, and anyone present can report a trainer who mistreats their pokemon. In official matches, there is always a certified doctor, specializing in pokemon battles, who will end the match when one pokemon is too weak to battle. 

a match ends prematurely if a pokemon breaks a limb or is severely injured. the match is considered void, to discourage people from trying to win in that manner. thus, battles can be tricky for foreign trainers, as now they cannot use a pokemon of a much higher level than their opponent.

if two pokemon do wish to battle despite the large difference in strength, they can opt for a specialized battle arena where levels are capped. this is done through advanced technology based on psychic abilities and the anito. all gyms have this kind of battle arena. 

gym battles are a mixture of the traditional battle and a stamina test, with the latter being more akin to trials in the alola, the pokeathlon, and the pokemon contests. it’s used to see if the trainer and the pokemon have a healthy relationship.

because that’s the point of pokemon battles in this region. it’s for pokemon who wishes to fight. it’s not for the humans–they are there to help the pokemon grow. 

this also means it’s highly looked down upon for a trainer to force a pokemon to fight. if the pokemon is not the typical competitive pokemon and wishes to engage in another activity, the trainer must listen, even if sometimes this means going separate ways.

i think that’s enough info for now. onto the topic of pokeballs. if pokemon and humans are to be equal, how do pokeballs and catching pokemon fit in all this?

a trainer’s pokemon and wild pokemon still battle before the latter can be captured. however, if the pokemon wishes to leave, they are free to do so. they are thus “released,” their pokeball voided.

other times a battle-ready pokemon will bond with a human who has no plans of being a trainer. this leads to the pokemon choosing another human to partner with.

catching mythical and legendary pokemon is illegal. they are considered as pokemon and as anito at the same time. most, if not all, gods are pokemon.

pokemon are rarely in their pokeball. pokeballs are mainly used to register a pokemon under the trainer’s name. this prevents other trainers from capturing them.

when pokeballs are used, it’s to safely carry an injured or weaken pokemon. other times, when a pokemon is too violent or cannot travel long distances, a pokeball is used. 

pretty much, pokeballs are for the pokemon’s safety, not for the convenience of the trainer. a trainer must then think long and hard when it comes to capturing a pokemon because they must have the capability to take care of them.

pokemon rangers of this region do use pokeballs, though theirs are specialized to work in reservation areas (reservation areas are surrounded by the same energy of a normal, registered pokeball to prevent catching pokemon) and they’re solely used to transport pokemon.

that said pokemon hospitals use pokeballs for similar purposes. 

research in pokeball tend to gravitate toward making a pokeball more comfortable for pokemon.

…okay i’m ending this here before i start covering linking and mutations because those require more thinking haha

[failedimitator]

My friend S is a freelance illustrator, and every now and then, she draws caricatures of musicians and actors for one of her clients. The other day, while going about my day and minding my own business, S sends me a caricature of a man in a yellow jacket with his fist up in the air. For some reason, he also has the hail of a red panda.

“Who do you think that is?” she ask on Whatsapp.

“A pokemon Freddie Mercury?” I reply.

Next, she sends me something that was a little more ambiguous. There isn’t a recognisable posture or any obvious facial features on this figure, but it is short and wearing a tilted snapback, huge gold-rimmed sunglasses, and gold chains. And again, a red panda tail.

“Is this supposed to be a Pokemon Bruno Mars?”

“I don’t know why you keep saying Pokemon,” she replies. “But yes, it’s Bruno Mars. How about this one?”

S then sends an illustration of a gorilla in a squat, wearing a white t-shirt and sneakers. 

“Who’s that supposed to be?” I ask.

“Well, Kanye West has no defining features I can put on a gorilla.”

The concept of being professionally black is something I’ve written about before. Being professionally black is a bit like being in the army reserve, at a moment’s notice, you might be called upon to defend/explain the humanity of your people. It’s a thankless -- like jury duty -- and like jury duty, you do it not because it’s fun, but because it’s your civic responsibility.

“Please don’t draw Kanye West as a gorilla,” I text back.

“I am,” she replies. “Who cares? Someone has to be the gorilla.”

“What do you mean by ‘someone has to be the gorilla’?”

Turns out, her client has three animals -- a gorilla, a red panda, and something else -- in their logo, and all three animals need to essentially cosplay famous musicians. That’s her brief.

“The gorilla always looks kind of dumb, and Kanye is kind of dumb,” she texts.

“But Kanye is also a black man,” I reply. “And there’s history of white people calling black people monkeys. Whether or not it’s intended, this is not separate from that.”

“My client is a Chinese company,” she replies. “They don’t care.”

“But that is not the point. It’s still in bad form.”

“Do you think people actually care in Malaysia?”

I don’t think they do. For one, Malaysia has a negligible population of black citizens, and the rest of us migrants who live here are at the very bottom, or nearly very bottom, of the society. So no, no one would really care.

Secondly, I’m going to take a massive guess and say that if the entire history of the United States was siloed off from the rest of the world, then we probably wouldn’t care either. We’d all be calling each other apes and gorillas without any baggage. 

But of course the history of the United States isn’t siloed. Even if most people in the world aren’t aware of actual US history, we are all familiar with the aftermath of it through pop culture. American movies and music. The books we read. The post, for example, is full of American analogies, and I’ve never set foot in that country. It’s the side-effect of being an imperialist country. Or, come to think of it, the effect.

The only reason I’m black is because black people exist in America. And the only reason black people exist in America, is because of slavery. So even though “black culture” isn’t my culture, people all over the world -- non black people -- keep ascribing it to me. All the fried chicken and watermelon jokes. Questions about Pap and Hip Hop. Accusations of sexual promiscuity. 

To quote the storyteller and poet Rives, 

“Just imagine that your friends and your family have heard that you collect, say, stuffed polar bears, and they send them to you. Even if you don't really, at a certain point, you totally collect stuffed polar bears.”

Black culture is now my culture.

“What I’m saying is,” I text my friend S, “just because you’re not going to get in trouble doesn’t mean you should do it. You shouldn’t do it because it’s offensive to a group of people.”

I can’t see S because it’s a text message, but I imagine her sighing before she replies to me.

“Racist white assholes in the 60s ruining everyone’s fun. As far as I know, they have zero black customers, so hopefully it won’t be an issue.”

I actually sigh before I reply.

“But they’re not making you draw Kanye West! YOU have the power to stop this.”

“So just because some racist people 60 years ago said some really bad shit, for eternity no one can ever draw a gorilla cosplaying Kanye West?”

This is not true, of course. Using ape as an insult for black people isn’t something from 60 years ago. It’s something from today. Now. As now as the warm air coming out of your nose when you exhale.

I tell S this.

“Well, I guess I don’t hang out with enough aggressive racists.”

The only responsibility the jury has is to decide, given the facts and evidence presented in the courtroom, whether the accused is guilty or not guilty. What comes after that is in the hands of the judge.

I don’t know if S actually sent in the caricature of the gorilla to her client. That’s not on me. My sole responsibility while performing my role as a professionally black person is to give a verdict: racist or not racist. What my friend S decides to do with that information is totally and completely on her.

[epochryphon]

Epoch of Decathylmite, 1-3: The Problem with Identity

Ye gads! Yet another scroll has been discovered, this one dating back even further than the one that was dated back before–almost even but not quite way, way back–giving us more clues into this dangerous and mysterious cult that led to an “Awakening,” possibly around the time of Atlantis. Ask Ben Affleck, he knows about Atlantis.

Hear ye, hearsay! He, the heretic, heresy, lips dripping with thick, black oil, his fountain of lies has sprung a leak, and now the great purge of calamities rears its time as the Earth is polluted by vile, inhumane narratives, knee-jerking fear and its loyal psychopaths. Only through the Great Wyrm Decathylmite, Arbiter of Justice, Poet of Truth, the Liberator, the Go-Getter, the Anti-Misanthrope, That Source Tho, can liberators find the Path of No Identity, relinquish their mirrored image for an awareness of that which is Unseen.

The more enlightened you think you are, hopping to festivals, meditating by day, hashtag spiritual accomplishments, hashtag blessed, pushing the fear further down, taking a picture of the sunset, avoiding eye contact, fluffing your pillows, downward dog in your brand new yoga slacks, hashtag thirty day challenge–the more—minds hath no gain—you have created to distract yourself from the absolving truth that what you are is nothing at all. Even the comprehension of the previous sentence, what was just pondered, even if you think yourself the ponderer of no ponders, the fabled “No Pon Don,” is already being braced, bracketed, reassembled, in an instant, now a perfect concept for the mind to attach itself to and argue with others in the comments section.

Because when you tell me that The Lord of the Rings is straight-up last week’s garbage, I will rise with offense, because, because, that is something that I like. The Lord of the Rings, a magnificent opus, one of the greatest sci-fi epics of all time, so perfect that it didn’t need an editor, written by one Richard Wagner, is part of my identity, and a sleigh-ride against it is a sleigh-ride against me. Even though I am not a book, and I am not a tree, and I am not ink, and I am not the English language, and I am not Elvis, I am not “language,” and I am not not-poorly strewn together paragraphs, and I am not dead ends, and I am not milk of the poppycock, nor poppy milk, and I am not an angel, but a lucid devil, I am that which decapitates, holding the bloody head of the Author for all to see, freeing at least some from the confines of the page.

Come at me, salesman! The One Who Understands is prophesied to return before Decathylmite rears its mouth from its tail, opening the great chasm of reality itself. None shall escape the God-Wyrm as it consumes every squared inch of the universe. Our only hope is to follow the One Who Understands in recognizing that we are all Decathylmite, and it is our destiny to consume the Universe.

To undo so would be to accept your fate as fodder for the next world. You cannot abide by the processing narrative without suffering, or feeling that you are less, or lack, or incomplete, or not something, or something else, or what about that thing over there, or that thing, or her, or that thing, or him, or that pen, or those videotapes, or the shiny thing, or the sparkly thing, or the thingy thing, oh yes, I shall exchange the hours of my day, the time spent, for more slavery. Allow me to work so that I may be imprisoned! I want a fidget spinner.

Who can offend the one who is hidden? When you think I am water, I am a dune of sand. When you think I am a blade, I am a feather. When you think I am a hawk, I am a handsaw. The Champion moves in stride with the world, listening, reflecting, beating, at pace, basking, at peace, navigating through dissent, the morphing mode, the Bearer of Secrets, Not Your Grandma’s Dan Brown, for whom all lies have been disclosed—the actor, suddenly aware of the play, deciding to play, within the play, seeing harnesses and rope tricks and rotating stages and costumes and masks and actors with lines and let’s see if they can go off script a little bit.

The hidden ones do not get lost in mire and muck, for they are supported by alchemy, and magic, the secret breath, selected before birth, and from the moment they were born they did not truly exist—only through effort, through that which you make so. Including taking your shits. All beliefs are inventions. This is the true liberation within satire. We are all making this up. Take the wool from your eyes.

But God created everything.

I hold God’s bleeding head. The Lord Decathylmite is entirety. And you are the barnacle on its back. You’re, like, totally Decathylmite. Dig?

Nah, man, that’s some hippie shit. I’m practical. I stay grounded in the real world.

Oh, so by ‘grounded’ you mean the equally inane ideas that you so-happened to be introduced to as a child so your entire experience with the world has grown around it as if it’s a seed and it’s still there informing everything so you think it’s real because it is real to you but no less or more real than literally anyone else’s idea about anything including science because what is going on with magnets? Did you know Webster’s dictionary define “Pokemon” as just like remember when you were a kid?

Pikachu!

Yes! The Great Decathylmite is a double-edged sword, liberating through chaos. Drive yourself to the furthest edge, deplete yourself of all known karma, take your desires to the brink, to the edge. Consume and defalcate. When you cannot take it anymore, ask yourself who you are. Decide. Build. Soon, you can’t take it anymore, and your tower crumbles, and you ask yourself who you are. Decide. Build a new tower. Soon, you cannot take it anymore, again, and you have nothing, again, and you ask yourself, “Who am I?” Maybe, at this point, you see the pattern, and you recognize that who you think you are, every time, has risen from nothing.

Every time, you have built yourself into a new person, new ideas, fresh start, new awareness, new partner, new job, and every time, the end result is the same. Who are you truly, then? Are you the identity that you choose to define yourself with? Or are you that from which your identity is born? Who is in control? Is it the mind that decides these things? Or, is it the Source that fuels the mind?

We are beyond mere philosophers and ideologues, for we hold answers, not questions. The Great Decaythlymite is the only identity, the identity of flow, of an endless wyrm, draken, dragon, consuming itself, a cycle ever-renewing and never-ending, incomprehensible to the feeble mind processor we call “the mind.”

Become the circle that has always been, lest ye become food for the gods. And if you need to take a shit, make sure there is solid or liquid soap in the bathroom beforehand. Tiny hand sanitizers also work. It’s not hard.