#yes mama mega still doesn't get it

[kairithemang0]

The gay man and the aroace woman getting married to please his mother my beloved <3

[smytherines]

Fuck it, here's an Agent Mega dissertation

Alright since I have such elaborate headcanon for my beloved precious Owen Carvour, I guess I should do it for Agent Curt Mega too. Sigh.

So, going off of the last big one, if Owen is born in 1928, then I'm gonna say Curt was born in 1930. I'm forever won to the Texan agent mega headcanon, but I think it's safe to say that Mrs. Mega is not from Texas, probably more like New York or I've seen people say New Jersey.

We know nothing about Agent Mega's dad, but I imagine he was kind of a loser and low level con artist and moved his pregnant wife down to Texas to do scams around the bustling oil industry, and then soon after Curt was born a scam collapsed and he ran off. It's either that or an Aladdin 3 situation where he was secretly a spy the whole time and had to go into hiding.

So we've got mama Mega, raising a VERY hyperactive (read: ADHD) little boy on her own, in a place where she doesn't have any support, and he just becomes her entire world. But she has to work a lot, so Curt becomes used to taking care of himself, and most importantly- keeping himself busy so he doesn't lose it.

In this headcanon Curt would only be 15 when WWII ends- not old enough to fight, but definitely old enough to have personally known a lot of kids from his hometown who come home in caskets. I just truly think of WWII as a formative experience for both these guys. For Curt it just feeds into that inferiority complex.

Now anybody who has ADHD knows that you already spend a lot of your life feeling inadequate, feeling self-conscious about not being able to be the person other people want you to be (*especially* if you're queer). You get defensive, especially when criticized. You also get restless.

I headcanon Curt as growing up in Abilene, Texas, mostly because I have a friend who grew up there and I've visited and the vibe is right.

I don't know if anybody has ever seen The Last Picture Show, but its a film set in small town Texas in 1951-1952 (so a little late for our timeline but still) and it's (more or less) about two high school seniors essentially trying to escape this suffocatingly small, dying town before they become doomed to spend their lives trapped there.

That's definitely what I think about Agent Mega too- this gay, ADHD teenage boy climbing the walls of this little town, never being able to fully be himself. But he's got a lot of energy (and more than a little anger) to burn off, so he does sports. It's Texas, so football for sure. Maybe wrestling too. Perhaps wrestling is even where he has his gay come to jesus moment.

And when he isn't doing sports, he's home, alone (mama Mega is working so hard), out back drinking a beer (or two, or three) and teaching himself how to shoot. I think he becomes hyperfixated on becoming an expert marksman, because with all of this shit he cannot control, all the stuff he is supposed to be but isn't, this is one area where it feels like he has the power here.

What starts off as "kid drinking beer to feel cool and rebellious" starts to morph into a lifetime dependence on alcohol. Substance use is a big issue for a lot of ADHDers for the same reason I think it would be for Curt- it calms him down. It eases that constant restlessness in his bones. It softens the edges of other people's criticisms of him. It makes him care a bit less what others think about him.

In a vicious cycle, he drinks to avoid feeling those big feelings (especially as a man, especially as a gay man, especially as a gay man in Texas), but the drinking leads to more criticism, which leads to more drinking to numb the emotional response to that criticism.

But his hyperfixation on learning to shoot pays off. Let's say he becomes a junior state champion trapshooter (did I look up trapshooting competitions from the 1940s? yes I did). He's good, especially when he hits the sweet spot of drinking just enough to calm his ass down but not so much that he's useless. Maybe this is how he comes to the attention of the A.S.S.

And he fully believes that these skills he cultivated, the ability to hit hard and run fast and shoot accurately, his ability to escape when it doesn't feel remotely possible, is why many years later he just kinda rolls his eyes at Owen for insisting that they do things carefully and methodically. Careful didn't get him out of small town Texas. Careful didn't get him the exciting non-stop life he has now, a life where he *almost* gets to be himself a lot of the time.

When Owen "dies," and its Curt's fault, he naturally turns to drinking to numb that pain. But its a lot of pain, so it takes a lot of alcohol to kill it.

I'm sure I could go on, but as always I have rambled a lot here so I'm just gonna leave it.

[callofdudes]

Please bestie, I need platonic Alex Keller headcanons I beg of you 😭😭😭

I'm here to deliver for you in trying times bestie. Stuck at home from work in a blizzard so here I am for you. Hope it suffices and you enjoy. 🫡 @itsscromp

Alex Keller Headcanons:

I imagined Alex was one of those clowns in school. I think when he was younger he was respectful but also a hog for attention. He always got really happy when the teacher picked him in class and would pout if some other kid got "his answer".

I'm not terribly sure about family headcanons. I feel he fits as either an only child or as a younger brother to an older boy. (Possibly a twin) If he had any siblings I could see him as the middle child, an older brother, him and a little sister.

Alex's parents raised him as a gentleman. You think his manners came from the military?? Even when he was in highschool he called women he respected ma'am on the regular.

Alex watched a lot of spy movies when he was younger. Jason Bourne, Jack Ryan, R.E.D. A bunch of those kinds of movies. But Alex didn't originally want to be CIA.

He also really liked superheroes. (Lovingly borrowing a headcanon from Scromp) He really liked Mega Man and other super heroes like that. Probably watched Ben Ten or something. (Sang the power Rangers theme song)

I think unlike the others Alex's run to the military was as an accidental second hand decision.

He had incredible grades in school but when his brother was called for Mandatory service. Alex was still too young when his brother went to serve a couple years. Instead of going to college and getting a different job he went to serve mandatory years as well.

Alex gives me Texas man vibes, but he doesn't have the accent. So I don't think he grew up there, possibly from California or Georgia. Somewhere warm.

Alex wanted to serve alongside his brother but he was deployed while Alex was in his first stages of basic training.

Alex is a very sociable guy so he doesn't have trouble making friends. However, upon a certain incident he did lose a lot of his confidence. Around people he knows he's a butterfly in flight, but doesn't like attention on the leg.

Alex was super attached to his older brother but when he got past that part he did enjoy his time in the military.

Obviously the first person he wants to introduce you to Is his brother and his parents. He'll introduce you with so much pride.

In my mind I see Alex's parents as your typical Georgia or Texas conservative dressers. But they aren't those types of conservatives. They were worried for him when he was younger, but if their son showed up with a man on his arm they wouldn't bat an eye.

And obviously they love you. Alex's dad is the guy who says that even as a guest, in the house you take on some household priorities. Nothing big, but probably expects some help with yardwork and that you'll help his wife with dishes.

Alex will cook with his mother. And oh you see where he gets it. He's the guy whose mama's boy love takes presidents over other duties. He just wants to be with his mom.

You'll be allowed to join in with a casual soccer game of kicking the ball around with his brother. They're an incredible family and accept you as one of their own the moment they see you.

He loves to decorate it though, and has stickers from several incidents, or young military hostages that he could distract. So in a way it was a blessing.

However, he didn't talk to women as much anymore. Platonic relationships are a breath of fresh air.

His parents used to have to wrangle him in when he got his first girlfriend. Constantly sneaking out to meet up with her. And while a respectful kid, after a certain sneaking out the girl's father was not happy to get the story the next day.

After Alex got his leg, dating seemed to be swept off the table. He had all the qualities, tall, very handsome, strong. But the leg usually got people staring, and all the charisma went out the window.

He barely got hookups anymore. (Yes, he was that guy for a while, and he isn't proud of it.)

Alex has participated in the Invictus Games before and it was a whole lot of fun.

Alex's show for women comes in the form of how respectful he is of Farah's boundaries. While he is happy to assert where he stands. If Farah had told him not to go when he did, he still probably wouldn't have listened.

Alex experiences phantom limb and phantom pain. Most times he has to weather the pain, but whenever he experienced phantom pain in the beginning he'd pass out from it.

He is very active and loves to play soccer. (Is very prepared to get yelled at for calling it soccer instead of football)

In all honestly Alex does want to get close to the other 141 members. He's close with Gaz, Price and Y/n. Soap trusts pretty easily and likes Alex because Farah likes him. Ghostie is a challenge though. He's up for it.

Protein shake man all the way. The day isn't started without a protein shake or a hearty meal. He loves his meat but is also all for leaning into the greener side of his diet to help him feel refreshed.

An incredible cook. If you go back to his house for leave you will be well taken care of, I promise you.

All of his relationships are tended to as he sees fit. He's definitely more of an acts of service guy. If you need something done, he will show you his love and appreciation by getting it done. Garbage is full?? On it. Feet sore? He'll take care of that for you.

Alex is a family man, but he also understands the sentiment that the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. And he holds his friendships with his brothers in high stakes.

Has a very smooth and charismatic air about him the majority of the time. He's well spoken and confident even if he doesn't have control of certain situations.

Just. Don't. Mention. The. Leg. 😁🔪

While he isn't really strong at other acts, physical affection like pats on the back or brief hugs do as well.

Tries to make Scream movie references to Ghost, like the ever popular "Sydney call" or other classic scenes. Is gleefully delighted when Ghost understands most of the references.

If you live somewhere known for its giant spiders *cough cough* he will not go. You are not getting him on that plane. Nada, zilch wiggle room on that one partner.

Probably uses comic book lines he likes a lot. Recites them like those cheesy scenes in movies where the leader of a group gives a heroic speech about kicking ass and staying loyal.

Gets called Price's son and honestly? A compliment.

Going back to acts of service, Alex also feels his love language as acts of service. Whenever he needs to let his leg breathe and get off his feet he takes off the leg and relaxes. And icing on the cake? If you feel comfortable, come over and massage his leg. Oh he'll keep you forever.

Will often do the robot dance to try and make you laugh, loves to dance with you in any setting.

You're never too old to go trick or treating. Alex comes off as the fun uncle that I could see dressing up as a Frankenstein and takes his nephews/nieces along with him for some fun around the block.

Clubber for life 🤟🏻😜 Seriously though, getting him tipsy enough and he'll challenge anyone insight to a drinking off. Will almost always lose. Especially against Johnny or Ghost.

If a girl won't call him a smoking handsome man, platonically please inflate his ego. It's like an air mattress and eventually it deflates to the point that you can feel the floor. Please fill his air mattress with compliments.

His tattoos include homages to his family. And his old squads and friends. Got a special tattoo for you over his left wrist with your initials and something that reminds him of you. (A flower, a hat, etc)

You know those bikes that you can lay down on and pedal almost vertical with the handlebars on the sides?? Photo. Yeah, he owns one of those. Will let you ride it. Yes it is fun.

Tried to grow his beard like Price's once so they could really be twins. Price for offended and now they have a rule that their beards/moustaches are not allowed to overlap like that.

Overall, very interesting man. A fun man, a funny man, loves some attention on him but not his leg. Please not make fun of him, yes he wants a girlfriend, yes he's sad and single but slaying every day of the week. Yes you are his best friend for life and if you try to abandon him he'll eat your legs off 😌.

[verydeadaten]

It's in the Blood

It was a lazy Saturday at the Arc household. Pyrrha and Jaune are both taking a well deserved day off. Their first and second youngest, Helen and Gorga, were with their Aunt Nora and their Uncle Ren. It was peaceful.

Pyrrha: *lounging outside* It's so nice out.

???: Just hold still!

???: Yeah, I know!

Pyrrha: Hmm? What's that?

Pyrrha gets off her chair, walking to the side of the house. There she sees her middle children, the Twins. Romula and Remus Lupus Arc, both 8 years old. Romula was standing in front of a tree, with an apple sitting on top of her head of red hair.

Her brother, Remus, was standing a few yards in front of her. His blue eyes were squinted in concentration, and he seemed to be holding... A KNIFE?!

Romula: RIP IT DUDE!

Remus: Alright, here it goes! *throws knife*

Pyrrha: OH OUM!!!

Pyrrha quickly used her semblance, stopping the knife before it even got close to Romula, and then putting it in her hand.

Pyrrha: By the cracked moon, what the hell are you doing?!

Remus: Practicing knife throwing.

Pyrrha: WHY?

Romula: We saw some videos online, and it looked really cool!

Remus: Yeah, and Papa told us about when he threw knives with his sisters. And it sounded so awesome.

Romula: Mega awesome.

Pyrrha: Okay, but why would you use yourselves as targets? What if you got hurt, or worse?

Romula: We were aiming for the apples. And we have our auras. We were fine.

Pyrrha: *sighs really deeply and rubs her eyes* You're both grounded.

R+R: Mama!

Pyrrha: You're both grounded for a week. No videogames! Where's Michael. He should be watching you.

Remus: He said he would be at the big tree.

Romula: *upset* He left before we even started!

Pyrrha: *sighs even deeper* Of course he is. Just, just go to your room.

R+R: *dejected* Yes mom.

As Pyrrha storms off to the tree, the twins started to collude.

Romula: Wanna watch a scary movie?

Remus: Sure.

____

The Arc home was surrounded by forest. About a 100 yards away was the Big Tree, the biggest tree in the whole forest. You could see the top of the tree from the front of the house. Michael Cherub Arc, a 12 year old and the oldest Arc child, preferred the tree as his hangout of choice, somehow getting all the way to the top. Pyrrha never really knew how he got up there, but right know she really didn't care.

Pyrrha was nearing the foot of the tree. Craning her neck up, she could see some blond locks. Her son for sure. He was looking at the sky, away from the house, and before she could even open her mouth, he spoke.

Michael: Hey mom.

Pyrrha: Michael Cherub Arc, what are you doing up here?! I told you to watch the twins!

Michael: *munch* I wanted to look at the heavens again. Anyway, they're fine. They weren't going to do anything dangerous.

Pyrrha: They were throwing knives.

Michael: ...oh. *chewing* Well, with their aura, it couldn't be that dangerous.

Pyrrha: Wait... What are... What are you chewing? Are you eating my figs again?!

Michael: N-No...

Pyrrha: I swear to the Brothers. Get your butt down that tree and go to your room! You are grounded mister!

Michael: *figs falling out his mouth* B-B-BUT MAMA!

Pyrrha; No buts mister. I told you to do this one thing, and you didn't do it! You left! And on top of that, you ate my figs! You know your father grows those for me!

Michael: Mama I'm sorry!

Pyrrha: Sorry doesn't cut it. You better be at the house in ten minutes, or I'm adding another week to your punishment.

Michael: Okay.

Pyrrha released another sigh. She was just so tired.

_____

Later, at the Arc house...

Pyrrha was stressed. She needed to snack on something, and maybe have a small sip of wine. As she walked to the kitchen, she could hear the mad yelling of her second eldest, Constantine, from his room upstairs.

Constantine: You PEASANT ants. You think you can come into MY kingdom, take a bite of MY rations? I'll show you. I'LL SHOW YOU ALL! AH HAHAHAHAHA!

...Nope. Not dealing with that now. She needed to recharge. Upon entering the kitchen, she saw her beloved husband, Jaune Arc. He was also relaxing for today, since there where no missions. He as at the counter, putting milk, white bread, and... beer? into a bowl, which he then put powdered sugar on top of.

Pyrrha: Beloved, what are you eating?

Jaune: Oh, hey Pyr. I'm just having a snack. I would've used brandy, but it's just too early for that.

Pyrrha: *somehow sighs even deeper*

Jaune: *walks over to pyrrha* Pyr, are you okay?

Pyrrha: *embraces jaune* Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that our kids are crazy. I really don't know why I'm acting surprised, all you Arcs are crazy. I mean, for Oum's sake, their father decided it was a good idea to fake his way into a top huntsman school, without any prior training or even having his aura unlocked.

Jaune: Hey. I'm not that crazy.

Pyrrha: As your partner and wife, I can say with confidence that you are.

Jaune: Hmm. Is there anything I can do to help?

Pyrrha: Could you make me some lasagna?

Jaune: *kisses her forehead* One steaming hot lasagna coming up.

Pyrrha went to make herself a cup of coffee, and she looked at her husband cook. She smiled to herself, even though her family was completely mad, she wouldn't trade them for the world.

[targwh0re]

Thoughts on Teen Wolf the Movie while watching it pt.5

PeTeR wAiT" why she say it like that😭

Peter's line would've made way more sense if the Nogitsune was actually giving him illusions (maybe one's about the fire, or being trapped in a coma again, or hell maybe stuff about the desert wolf bc I mega curious about their relationship)

He's playing lacrosse 🥍

Sir should've just dove out the way, he basically told u it had wolfbane on it

"Wolfsbane" reminds me of gerards "Mountain ashhhh!" Lmao I make myself laugh

How'd she knock him out so quick with just an elbow to the face, he's a werewolf

New plot idea, nogi could've made him hallucinate the fire and make him see Kate everywhere so when he sees Allison (as Kate) he's fed up with the illusions bc it's fucking him up. I'm a genius, Jeff Davis hire me 😎

um just cause it looks like her doesn't meanit us her...doppelganger's anyone? (Yes I know different show bit still) or she could be possessed

ur a zombie chica 🧟‍♀️ 😁👍

Not Peter being big baby and having Melissa take care of him in the back😭

Chris what's ur gun gonna do against black smoke, u know it ain't the oni bc the sun's still out

"I've killed oni before" yeah and then they killed you ma'am

Malia "I don't do speeches" Tate, proceeds to give a speech 😂

🎶If we go down then we go down together🎶

Lydia:🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊 Allison:👏📸💏☺😍🥰😂🧍‍♀️👭👫😭💋🏃‍♀️🤣😊🏹😘

Don't think I didn't notice you left out Stiles and Isaac in them flashbacks😑

Oop it's night night time now 🌃

um they belong to themselves, you know free will and all, c'mon it's 2026 in ur universe so get eith the program honestly so canceled 🥱

Also if you were gonna have him say they belong to me know you could've had them possessed by the flies again like in 3b and made him fight his own friends. It'd be good emotionally and for the plot bc we wouldn't know if he'd be forced to kill them or not

oooo and if Stiles was here Nogi takes over his body again and let's Allison go bc he's sacrificing himself for them, there rising another issue but Stiles has full faith that Scott will bring him back

"I'm still standing, I'm still the Alpha!" Sounded a whole lot better in the trailer

also would've been cool if Derek was forced to be on Nogi's side bc he has Eli hostage

"Please don't make me watch my friends and my family die - I can't do that again" is what should've been the line💔

Um that was 3 arrows not 1, thought you were supposed to be a perfect shot, you letting out some pent up rage on my boy Scott? 😶

When did Eli get tied back up? Would've been cool to see it happen telekinetically

I love hikari but it just would've made more sense for Kira to save him. She would've been more powerful by now, she'd have complete control bc of the skinwalkers, and there's the emotional connection that's established between them

Or at the very least if it had to be Hikari they could've done my earlier suggestion and made that little girl and her dog a flashback of Scott saving Hikari bc then it would've been like you saved me once and now I've saved you 👍

Looked cool af thou 🔥

Damn, headshot 🎯

Hold up, now wait a minute, you're suddenly a perfect shot again?😂

Hold up Parrish where your clothes at and what underwear you buying bc all ur other clothes burn up but ur undies are fireproof?!😭

Heyyy, I love whoever idea it was to give mama McCall a crossbow 😎👌

Not Peter now using the wolfsbane ring dagger that just poisoned him🤦‍♀️is he good by the way lol did Melissa have a lighter on her or something

Yeah, you motherfucker *copies Peter's dramatic hair flip*💅

Stab stab flip flip

Yeah Jackson and Lydia takedown we deserve

Stiles taught her how to use a gun and he'd be so proud of his wife right now😁

Would've been cool if it was, like I said earlier, Stiles being the one at gunpoint and Jackson comes to save them (Stiles would be so annoyed😂)

oh he wasn't tied up, he was just hiding again

Eli you little liar you already done the glowing eyes and the fangs

Awwww yes! Eli and Derek are my favorite part of this movie, I could watch a whole series about them🥺

Love how they roared together, like Derek was giving him strength and encouragement in that roar

Love the wolfie faces, though I do think the shows looked a little bit scarier, the eyes are really good in this one thou🐺

Baby Eli and Daddy Derek to the rescue

Now we all got our guns back that ig Parrish was hiding in his underpants 🙈😭

pow pow mf

I thought it was impossible to be both a fox and a wolf🤔

This supports my theory that this is just another illusion and none of it's real. It looks real and feels real but it's not

Ugh you was ugly ass mf wolf-fox🤢

Why his eyes glowing green? shouldn't it be a more yellowish green for a firefly 🤨

He looks like a mole deadass💀

🎶we're all in this together🎶

Why aren't Peter, Malia, Liam, Hikari, and Parrish going with them...

Eli honey, I love you but...why you running like that, you look like ur about to fall🤭

I like how the lighting in each room reflects their eyes

Well obviously its not real

You know my dumbass would just be in their yelling "echo" bc it'd be funny to me😭

Well that was very rude of you Nogi

What was Harris's goal, I'm still confused 😕

Should called him a pup instead of a child, it just would've been more pleasing to me bc it's a funny tease to say to a werewolf idk why

"Start with me" Nogi said okay say less 👍

Now you see me, now you don't

Scott this is kind of embarrassing for you bc Duke taught you how to fight using all your other senses when your sight won't help you...

you can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man 🤪

So what did everyone else see? Did they just see them all on the nemeton looking ridiculous or did they do a disappearing act snd magically appear out of nowhere

Also why didn't nogi mess with them at the same time, seems a waste if you ask me to just leave them to come up with a plan, then ur just asking you get defeated but oh well🤷‍♀️

Oop well Eli's out the game again but Parrish is putting himslef back in, there's a good man (there's a nice demon😂)

Nogi's laugh made me laugh 🤣

Hell no, don't you dare. I know that look Derek Hale, don't you fucking do it. Bad werewolf, very bad werewolf! not infront of ur son! NO, HE IS NOT APART OF SCOTT'S PACK NOW IDGAF THAT HE'S THE ALPHA

PARRISH DON'T LIGHT THAT FUCKER UP

DEREKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

So much for only a true alpha only every few hundred years, BUT IT WAS FUCKING EARNED DAMN IT😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭���😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

The way Eli said dad😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Okay let me be serious, I don't think Derek's dead. This was was all on layer of the illusion, it looks real, it feels real, but it's not real!

Idk where Derek or the Nogitsune are but neither are dead, bc you can't even kill a Nogitsune so where is the fly like at the end of S3 hmmm🤨

He's not dead no, nope, i refuse

Poor Peter, Derek and him were really close, even though they had their differences they were still all they had left 😢

Eli😔

Ew Scott shouldn't be giving the speech it should be Peter or Eli

Where's Isaac (his first beta), Cora (his sister), and Stiles? You can't tell me they wouldn't be there for his funeral

Actually the first the first thing he said to you was "What are you doing here? This is private property"

AWWW Papa Stilinski coming in clutch🥺

DEREKKKK😭😭😭

This is where Lydia answers Stiles would renew their vows

NO UR NOT ALLOWED TO ADOPT ELI YOU ARGENT AND FAILWOLF (no offense)

Um isn't she still technically 17🤨

[just-absolutely-super]

Mini crack

They leave the movie theater

Mega: you're in so much trouble Lan!

Lan: me? I didn't see you fix this mess either

Mega: this isn't about me!

Lan: uh-huh! You think I want to make people mad or something? You met the assho-!?

Mega: language! And what do you mean?

Lan: the guy you guys dealt with is the same guy who started this whole thing!!

Roll: really?

Dex: yeah! He didn't wanna listen, just be mad

Mega: still, you're in trouble Lan, and you're not getting out of this lecture-!?

Guy: hey!? You guys got me thrown out of the movie theater!!

Lan and Mega: *sigh* not him again

Guy: I swear, I'm going to throttle you lot!

Lan: Geez, you sure I can't kick his ass? We could totally take him

Mega: He may be a brute but we're above that

Guy: Don't ignore me! You're so dead--

Roll: That is enough!

Guy: E-Eh?

Roll: First of all, from what I've gathered, the cause of all of this was an accident! Instead of acting like some crazy macho man, you could have heard these boys out and accepted an apology. The same with me and Mega!

Guy: I-I don't have to take this from--

Roll: And furthermore, you deserved to be thrown out because you were just as disruptive--if not more--as all of us! Honestly, all of this could have been resolved if you didn't act so hostile all the time! What would your mother say?!

Guy: D-Don't bring my mama into this!

Roll: Well, I oughta meet her because clearly she doesn't know her son is threatening a bunch of young people who were minding their own business and had made honest mistakes! Now, I want an apology out of you, mister, do you hear me?

Guy: U-Uh--

Roll: Do. You. Hear. Me?

Guy: Y-Yes ma'am! I'm sorry ma'am!

Roll: Apology accepted

Dex: Dang, I forgot how scary Roll can be...

Mega: I know, isn't she great?

Lan: At least she got him off our backs--

Roll: And you!

Lan: What?

Dex: Eep!

Roll: I don't know if you already did it, but apologize to him too! It's probably because of your clumsiness that we found ourselves in this situation!

Lan: S-Sorry...

Dex: Y-Yeah, sorry...about the popcorn and the laughing...

Roll: *glares at guy*

Guy: A-Apology accepted

Roll: Great, and Mega and I are sorry too for unintentionally furthering the ruckus. Aren't we Mega?

Mega: R-Right...

Roll: Now that all of that is settled, we will all be going home. Do I make myself clear *scary smile*

Everyone: Y-Yes ma'am!

[fandomhopping]

It isn't long until the turtles notice Leon is missing, not with Raph worriedly checking in on him every ten minutes. Donnie and Leonardo glance at each other in concern when they discover Leon's now cold cup of tea. Without his full arsenal of tech it would take Donnie a lot longer to pinpoint the strange energy fluctuations that come with Leon's teleportation, and a portal is the only way Leon could have possibly gotten out of the house with Mama Bear Raph on patrol. Did he... hear what they had said? Donnie did have to walk past him to get to the kitchen where they had thay conversation.

Concerned, Donnie brings up his findings to Raph and Mikey, explaining that they suspect Leon might have been created as some sort of weapon for the Mega Kraang and that's why he was so determined to get him back,

"I mean... it makes sense, right? His chemical makeup is way too sophisticated for his mutation to have been a mere accident and... well... with how badly the Mega Kraang wants him..."

"I don't believe it." Is Raph's first words, "He can't be working for them! I... I saw him fighting thay thing!"

"We're not saying he is, Raph." Leonardo interjects, "Leon's made it very clear he doesn't work for Mega Kraang nor does he want back in his clutches. We're just theorizing a possible reason for why he wants him, nothing more. We weren't even gonna bring it up to him, just keep an extra eye out in case someone went after hin because of this."

"W-well now he's missing! We need to find him!!"

They do eventually find him, but not for almost a day later. Leon was still in that alley, hidden in his shell in an attempt to preserve his body heat, passed out. Being a semi-cold blooded creature in a cold New York winter has its downsides, something the other turtles know well. Even with his unique mutation, it's a miracle he hadn't gone into hibernation or worst.

Yes!! I suspect a certain turtle now has hypothermia to add to the list lmao

[tsuki-sennin]

Could it be!? Is it true!? We're getting a lady Rider every season in the Reiwa era!?

What a truly modern world we live in! ...though given general thoughts on the other Reiwa ladies we have so far seem to be on a spectrum of "Yaiba-san, come back, I wanna watch you fight mooooore!" and "You can have more than five character traits, Reika-neesaaaaan!", I might hold my breath a bit. Trust me, I feel that pain too.

Oh yeah, I can finally watch Episode 11 now... Spoilers, I guess...

-Oh wow, getting right right into fighting! Hell yeah, shoot 'em up Dai-chan!

-Oh, multiple fronts fighting! ...also, I definitely heard Condol there. Yep, those're definitely Tajador's wings. They look a bit different than Jin's and they're too big to be HawkGatlinger's.

-Honestly the Deadmans (Kaijin) seem more like wild animals out of their natural habitat than like... criminals. An invasive species, if you will. The Deadmans (Cult), however...

-Sooooo, Daiji, you wanna take some of Live's alternate forms for a spin? For me? Maybe? I'll wait then, take your time bro!

-I've... never had a school counselor people treated like a savior. It's one of those things that I only see in the news or in movies.

-Ah, poor Julio. Left in the dark again. ...y'know, maybe you should tell him, what if Saku- whooops, I mean, what if the vague person you're hunting after takes a swing at you?

-Sometimes you just wanna get stronger for its own sake, huh?

-Y'know, you really shouldn't be opening packages without a sender. Maybe talk to the mailman about it next time he comes around? No? Okay then.

-That is a very nice looking Driver, by the way. ...seems a bit small though, did they just use a prototype of the DX version?

-Yup, liveDevil is still turbo banger material. If I don't see a fight set in a nightclub with the full version of this song playing in-universe by the end of the season, I'm quitting.

-Damn, gurl! You fucked that guy up! I'm surprised he can still stand after that!

-Taking responsibility, are you buddy? ...I think she might need a doctor visit more than anything though.

-The stamps.

-What is that thing, a Stingray Deadman? Ah, no... is it some kind of flatworm? It's... kinda gross looking, ew.

-OH MY GOOOOOOD UNTRANSFORMED DOUBLE KICK HELL YES

-Vice, are you telling me that you dislocated a pelvic bone, you hit your head and forgot where it was on your body, or that you literally lost your ass from that fall? It didn't seem like it hit you that hard, so...

-Oooooough, cool shots, lots of cool shots.

-You left your kid to bank robbing? Real cool, lady. Well to be fair, you probably want that money because he's ill or something, that's understandable at least. Doesn't really justify you aiding and abetting these guys though.

-OH YOU LURED HER HERE

-Iwae~!

-Y'know, Aguilera-sama seems to be kicking ass just fine in her human form. ...she also seems like the kind of girl who gets mad at things you do in her dreams.

-Yep, called it!

-W...

-What kind of Remix is that? It's like... Magical Stool Forme R and Power Beast Forme S but no short teenager to help reach the buttons.

-Ough, it's just weird! What's the practical purpose of this, Karizaki?!

-I love the three way dynamic though, it's great.

-Oh c'mon, Instructor Lady, don't look at her like that.

-So, was the hospital not like "Hey, you look kinda fucked up, you need some bandages?" I guess it makes a lot more sense why Seiko-san wanted to rob a bank then.

-Y'know, Ikki's been butting in on other people's family problems. Remember Ayaka and how her mother brushed off her kidnapping? Or that doctor guy and his gamer son? You seemed fine with it back then, Mama. I know Sakura's your youngest and she's not a Rider yet, but at least let her keep fighting.

-Wow, that really is a small Driver. Comparatively at least, it's not like... Necrom Mega Ulorder size, but it doesn't seem very comfy to wear.

-Oh boy, it's time for everybody's favorite reality show, Keeping Up with the Ushijimas! You loveable, definitely evil bit characters!

-Ah, man can cook! Nice! I sure hope it's not laced with poison, razor blades, or worse... shrimp!

-Oh you bastard! Using a kid's life to make his mom do your dirty work for you? That's a low blow, you jerk!

-Muteki! Hell yes!

-Ohhhhh, creepy~!

-Radiographers, I swear, they get no respect. Did you hear about what happened with Taiga Hanaya at Seito University Hospital five years ago?

-Ooooooh, she's a full-blown demon now! Just like Ayaka was earlier in the season! Really cool design too, it's not often flatworms like Planaria get good designs like this.

-Ewwwwwwwwww gross, I don't wanna think about that.

-Sooooo, Vice can just reflect finishers like that? That seems like it'd come in handy a lot more often than it does.

-Good Sakura, good... Transform now! Do it!

-Even Karizaki's like "Oh fuuuuck dude! Did I do that?"

-We've got 'em all now! Spider, Bat, Cobra, all the classic Rider monster archetypes!

-Oh c'mon, Toei! Don't blueball me now! I have to wait another week!? I wanted to see her go! I've been waiting for this from the start! I was watching her career with great interest! You just gonna do us both like that!? Do you have any idea how long a week is!? ...alright, enough being entitled, I'm at least happy we got Vice panicking and Aguilera-sama being an absolute girlboss like she usually is.

[lizabethstucker]

Asimov's Science Fiction (March/April 2017)

Digging into my backlot of science fiction magazines. A mixture of verse and stories. I've only reviewed and rated the stories. This particular issue is the 40th Anniversary one! 3.8 out of 5 "Soulmates.com" by Will McIntosh Daniel wants someone to share his life with, to love and be loved by. When he meets Winnie through a dating app, he thinks she could be the one almost immediately. Emily, his former girlfriend and current best friend, is more suspicious, doing a deep dive on who Winnie could be. Which, considering they never meet in person despite Winnie being in Atlanta and Daniel in Athens, not that long a drive, is valid. Starts extremely slowly, assumingly to establish the characters. Not my favorite way as most writers don't do a good job at it. I'm not entirely certain that this is actually science fiction, despite the use of Artificial Intelligence. As to Daniel, I found him to be incredibly childish, blind, immature, and boring. He learned absolutely nothing from his experience. I struggled to complete this novella. 2.5 out of 5 "Number Thirty-Nine Skink" by Suzanne Palmer It started simply enough, an expedition designed to bring life in balance to an empty planet. Then the humans left suddenly, leaving Mike willingly behind with Kadey whose programming makes the creatures populating the area. When Mike dies of cancer, Kadey continues her work. Until the night something changes. Poor Kadey, struggling with loneliness, possibly incomplete programming, and the knowledge hidden from her regarding why the humans left. Sad, yes, but with a more hopeful ending that is also a beginning. Lovely story, so well written. 4.5 out of 5 "Three Can Keep a Secret..." by Bill Johnson & Gregory Frost A convoluted tale of assassins, misdirection, love, greed, and con-artistry with an almost noir feel to it. It's almost impossible to give a synopsis that isn't chockful of spoilers. The first person narrator isn't totally reliable, but still intriguing in what he shares. I loved this more than I expected with this strange little story. FYI, in case you don't know, the title is from an old saying. Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead. 4.5 out of 5 "The Ones Who Know Where They Are Going" by Sarah Pinsker A child must suffer so the city can be happy, or so they say. One particular child is taken from her mother, locked away in the dark with no social interaction beyond the delivery of food. As time passes, language is lost and memories of a happier time begin to fade. Then one day the door isn't shut tightly and the child gets out of the tiny dark room. She crawls up the stairs, each step bringing back a particular memory, heading for freedom. But at what cost? Rip my heart out, why don't you? Two and a half pages of the most gut-wrenching narrative. The tightly woven writing is painfully descriptive. And the ending! Oh, the ending. I just cannot deal with it. 5 out of 5 "Invasion of the Saucer-Men" by Dale Bailey Teenagers have been foiling alien invasions for some time. After all, the adults are either locked in their homes consuming television or would dismiss the very idea of aliens. The newest landing of a flying saucer bonds together teens out at the local make-out point. Per the author, his idea was to take the cheesy sci-fi and horror movie titles of the 1950s and treat the core idea with some emotional and thematic nuance. Here we have a group of teen archetypes, from the football star to the nerds to the beauty. There are also the followers that are always found in high school. This brings back memories of too many cheesy nights at the drive-ins in my county. I've always found my sympathies fell with the aliens most of the time, faced with humans whose first response to the unknown was always violence. Horrible ending to this story. Horrible. CW: extremely graphic attack. 3 out of 5 "Kitty Hawk" by Alan Smale After receiving word of her brother's death, Katharine Wriht travels from Ohio to North Carolina to help her other brother. Instead of Orville preparing to pack up for the trip home with his beloved

brother's body, he is trying to continue with the flight experiments that killed Wilbur. Katharine finds herself engaged in helping, even learning to fly herself. This is a complete AU of the Wright Brothers and the birth of flight, through World War I and the suffrage movement. The writing is evocative of the time period and the dangers of experimental flight. I don't know why it didn't click with me, but I struggled quite a bit in reading this imaginative tale. I can see others enjoying this greatly, just not me. 3 out of 5 "Cupido" by Rich Larson Marcel is a genius at chemistry. He came up with a way to make pheromones specific to the pair he's paid to bring together, either by one of the potential couple or by a third party. The majority of the money he charges goes to pay for his grandmother's colon cancer treatment. As word gets around, he finds himself moving to smaller cities to avoid identification. As yet, what he does isn't illegal. He didn't expect to find himself attracted to his potential mark. Frankly, I don't consider this to be science fiction at all. The science is already viable. Add the consent issues which would be called dubcon (dubious consent) and I'm too busy cringing to enjoy. In my mind, Marcel is anything but a hero. 3 out of 5 "A Singular Event in the Fourth Dimension" by Andrea M. Pawley Olive was removed from the reducer pile, adopted by a childless couple to help stave off loneliness. Now that the second grandmother is living with them and Mama was pregnant, Olive is worried that she will be sent back to the pile, no longer needed. A loving, imaginative little android who believes in fairy dust, even if the fairies never seem to do anything magical like in the stories. Love doesn't have to be limited to just humans or blood relations. Sweet and touching. 4.5 out of 5 "The Wisdom of the Group" by Ian R. MacLeod There are theories and studies about group-think, how certain groups can intuit a trend or coming situation without any real knowledge. With the right group, the members could get wealthy or probably save the world, depending on their inclination. Samuel has been part of such a group since brought in by his professor while still in university. Now, years later, Samuel is wealthy, has a liv-in lover, three dogs with unfortunate names, and a gorgeous house in Washington state. But something is wrong, something that seems to be originating from Samuel. The response is usually to cut the wrong out of the group. A complicated basis for a disturbing story. I had to sit on this one for a while in order to determine what I felt about it. Definitely strong writing, could almost be considered psychological horror. I don't know if I would ever say that I liked it, but I recognize the work done and the uniqueness of the story. 3.5 out of 5 "After the Atrocity" by Ian Creasey Abu Hameed, the terrorist behind the attack that left ten thousand people dead, has also died during interrogation. The solution? A machine that can make exact copies, complete with memories, of an individual. Violet Ruiz, operator and creator of the machine, even made a duplicate of herself in order to work 24/7. As Hameed's copies die during the enhanced interrogation, more copies are needed. Soon Violet II wonders about the ethical implications. Well thought out consideration of just how far a nation is willing to go in search of revenge wrapped in the disguise of intel. Patriot Act, enhanced interrogation the Greater Good, dismantling both Habeas Corpus and the Geneva Convention, anyone? 4 out of 5 "Goner" by Gregory Norman Bossert In order to explore space, humans had to be converted from flesh into nanotechnology based creatures. The pilots call themselves Goners. Char's best friend's father is a Goner. Already fascinated with the idea of flying, Char uses a sliver of Pilot Clark to begin changing. While this is complete in itself, the story also begs for more. What is happening to Char? Will he be allowed to live his dreams despite his age? S fascinating a concept. 3.5 out of 5 "We Regret the Error" by Terry

Bisson A series of news corrections from the future. So many corrections, even some corrections of corrections. Taken individually, these are amusing. Pieced together, there is a much deeper story playing out. Oh, and a nice dig at Disney's well-known history of not paying some of their artists for their work. 3 out of 5 "Tao Zero" by Damien Broderick Teenagers, incredibly smart ones, have unprotected sex after winning $370 million in the Mega Millions lottery. The celebration leads to a child, the narrator, and the money to try to trap the Tao, the Way that cannot be named, inside a machine. I tried, I really tried to read this without success. After rereading the first two pages over and over in an attempt to struggle through, I put the story aside, hoping to pick it back up when refreshed. Didn't work. DNF

[just-absolutely-super]

Toddler crack

Remix: am big boy like Patch!

Patch: sure, but I'm older

Remix: what's older?

Patch: means I came first

Remix: nu-uh! Mama 'n papa said I was first child!!

Patch: you were their first child. I'm still older

Remix: nu-uh! I tell on you!

Patch: go ahead

Remix: Papa! Patch says he's first!

Mega: Huh? Well, he's not wrong, he did come first...

Remix: But you and Mama said I was first!

Mega: Baby, we said you are our first child. We didn't have any children before you came into our lives

Patch: Told you so

Remix: B-But I'm first!

Mega: You can be first in many things, Remix, but what Patch is saying is he's been on this earth here the longest between you two. He's been around for 7 years, and you've been around for only a few months. That makes him older

Remix: Oh...

Mega: Now, if Mama and I were to have another baby, then that would make you older!

Remix: No!

Mega: Huh?

Remix: No other baby! Only me! I'm Mama and Papa's only one!

Mega: O-Oh uhh yes, for now. I don't think Mama and I are ready for another one just yet...

Remix: Good!

Patch: Ah so he's gonna one of those kids who doesn't want to share parents, huh Uncle Hub?

Mega: W-Well, if Lan and Mayl stick with their plans to not get pregnant again, I guess he'll get his wish...

Remix will not, ultimately, get his wish