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something-from-elsewhere · 5 years ago

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Aren't u supposed to post abt ur life or smth on this site

Well here goes.

I've had a less than great past few days. I had my best friend nearly throw away much of what was keeping her safe, to which I responded, in my desperation, almost as poorly as I could've imagined.

The next day started great. I went to a job fair and made some very promising connections.

It ended poorly. Someone in the transitional house I was living in didn't like me. Let's call her Aleph. Aleph came up to me while I was talking with a staff member, and said some ridiculously ironic shit, telling me not to interrupt her while talking to staff to bitch at her (as she did exactly that, despite I'd been avoiding her?) Anyway, things escalated.

She grabbed me by the hair, pulled me out of my seat, and shoved her face in mine. Threatened me with murder. And I learned something about myself during this encounter. I could think of a few ways to get out of the situation. First, I went through what to say. I tried thinking of many different things but none of them were capable of defusing the situation. So flight was my next option. I would've tried to run had she not had my hair (despite being cornered). I thought of ways to make her release me. I could've knocked her to the floor, broken her arm, headbutted her in the nose. All these things would've been near certain escape almost unharmed, for me. I filed them as "very last ditch ideas". I ended up going with the stupid one I'd only seen in media.

Assailant grabs victim, in much the same fashion as she was me. Victim spits, assailant drops victim to wipe face, victim has a chance to run.

"My best chance" I thought. Completely uncertain of the viability, but no real harm caused to the very person threatening to kill me. That was the concern.

It didn't work. She immediately threw me to the ground, still holding my hair, and started beating me in the face with her knee. By the second blow I already knew if I turned amd kicked of a nearby desk I could easily throw her to the ground. A chance to escape. And an immediate nonoption. "What if she hit her head, or I broke something?"

Why?? I couldn't even tell you. But as she continued to wail on my face with great brutality, while telling me "If we were outside right now I'd kill you", I sat, knowing exactly how to escape the situation but not even attempting for fear of damaging someone.

I'm no saint, but apparently I'm a pacifist. To a fault in some interpretations, while others have praised me for it. I personally don't really know how to feel, but I defo want to learn some de-escalation techniques.

So I couldn't throw a punch to save my life, right? And I'm too damn dumb to know how to get out of such a situation otherwise. Well I got kicked out of my housing for it. Yea. Because of the spit. I dunno abt you, but that seems like a possibly misguided attempt at self-defense, in which I was more concerned about my assailant's health and wellbeing than my own.

So now, I'm going to be put out on the streets. With said agressor. I was terrified. How could I sleep at night? I turned to the one person I knew I was capable of harming. I hadn't made it to the edge of the first story railing by the time I was brought to the ground by a member of staff.

I don't know if I would've done it. I doubt it. I really want to live, and sure I was terrified but I'm pretty sure I just wanted to see if even that was available as an escape route. As mentioned, it wasn't. But another had opened, of sorts.

I answered the cop's questions honestly, and he said he couldn't take me in as I didn't meet criteria for a 51-50. So the case manager for the program suggested I talk to someone. I answered essentially "Yes??? Of course??????? Trauma???"

And so he took me to a mental facility and I swear fast talked me into there. I had no one to talk to. We weren't allowed erasers, so I couldn't draw.

I tried talking to some of the folk there but those who weren't yelling and banging on the walls (getting a good few anxiety attacks out of me and a couple full on panic attacks) would either hear completely different words than I said, or incessantly misgender me, or only talk about sexual experiences in disgusting detail.

I met somebody awesome the last day I was there. But for most of the first two I had TV and sleep as company, along with staff who were scarcely receptive to conversation.

At the end of the second day I was going stir crazy and finally got some contacts out of my phone so I could talk to a friend. I sobbed so hard through most of the conversation I soaked a good portion of my shirt.

I got out, and I'm doing a helluva lot better. I've got a bed for the night, I was able to shower, fresh clothes, study, watch the latest episode of Netflix's Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj, study. But I've got no idea where I'll sleep tomorrow.

And I have to carry two suitcases and a backpack everywhere I go (along with my purse, which purse + suitcase = hell)

I've filed a grievance against the handling of the situation, especially with the times Aleph had openly threatened me in front of staff and how I'd pushed for a conflict resolution workshop or something similar. But until that goes through I'm vulnerable.

I have $22 and no credit card (plus debt). I've applied for GA, meeting on Wednesday.

I need to:

A) Find somewhere to sleep

B) Avoid cops

C) Avoid Aleph (esp in unsurveilled areas)

D) Be interview-ready, should the need arise

E) Keep all my stuff safe

I dunno what to do, really. I'm going to spend as much time looking for resources as I can, but I really don't know what to do.

If by some miracle any of my couple dozen or so mutuals have any advice I'd love to hear it. I live in Sacramento, CA. Honestly a safe place to store my shit alone would be a miracle.

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teen-titans-imagines · 7 years ago

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East of Eden pt 11

Jason Todd & Daughter! Teenager! Reader

A/n: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT’S HERE. IT’S HERE IT’S HERE. THIS IS IT. I’M UGLY SOBBING I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS. IT’S FINALLY OVER, GUYS, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’M GONNA DO AFTER THIS ALSKDFJAL;SDFKJSDFKJ THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO STAYED WITH ME THROUGH THIS WHOLE THING ALKDJFLAKSDFJ I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH AND THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’VE GIVE ME THROUGHOUT THIS WHOLE RIDE!

Comments are appreciated and are key. Please comment. It helps with motivation and efficiency. Thank you!

—

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven / Part Eight / Part Nine / Part Ten / Part Eleven [Here] [FINAL]

—

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Family, Drama, Action, Fluff Rated: Mature Warning: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Blood and Gore, Swearing, Graphic Depictions of Physical Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Graphic Injuries, Nightmares, PTSD, Trauma, Hallucinations, Just read with caution please

—

Author: Teen-Titans-Imagines

—

Life was precious. It was wonderful and it was gold. Sure, it had its dark moments and the times where it seemed to hate you. Sure, Life had its days. However, you couldn’t deny that it had been good to you. You couldn’t deny that life gave back twice more than what it took. When it took your mother from you, it gave you a father who tried his hardest to give you the best life he could. When school got hard, you got rewarded with the best grades.

When you had been taken by Black Mask, you had survived when you shouldn’t have. Now, when you had been dead, Life had picked you up within her arms and breathed her breath within your lungs.

Life was a journey. It was a sea of adventures and hardships, of storms and calms that you had to get through...to learn from. And for once, you weren’t angry. You weren’t mad at the world for what it had done to you. You weren’t angry at God for what he had done to your mother. You weren’t angry at Death for taking your mother.

No, you understood. You understood why. It wasn’t so to be cruel to you just because Life could be; it was to help you grow when you couldn’t do it yourself. To help you along like a mother cat and her young.

In the end, you guessed you should have seen it. The universe was never out to get you; nor was Life itself. It was just trying to help someone who was too broken to help herself. Some people would say that the whole thing was just luck, but you would never sum it up to be luck.

Luck would never have allowed you to see your mother one last time. Luck would have never allowed you to live through something twice when you shouldn’t have. Luck would have never led you to where it did. Luck would have never let your father finally heal from his own wounds. Luck would have never let your grandfather finally get the guts to say what he had so desperately wanted to for years.

Luck would have never healed wounds whether old or new.

As your father laughed with the others, you smiled and rest your head against his shoulder, happy and content. This is what you had always wanted: true happiness.

No, luck would have never given you this.

Looking out the window, the setting sun created a painted canvas of pinks, oranges, purples, yellows, and golds as the water below glistened with an intense glow. Seagulls flew cross the waters edges, catching fish that swam close to the surface and soaring through the air afterwards. It was peaceful; beautiful, and you sighed in tranquility.

You wondered if your mother could see the same thing that you could.

��(Y/n)?”

You looked up at your father, his blue eyes concerned just slightly as he looked down at you. His arms were gentle around you, yet firm. Your father hadn’t let you go since he had gotten a hold of you, and you couldn’t blame him honestly. If you were in his position, you would probably be doing the same.

“Yeah?”

“Are you alright? I’ve been calling you for a while now.”

You blinked before nodding, replying softly.

“I’m just thinking.”

Your father smiled slightly before sighing, his eyes closing as he rest his cheek against the top of your head. He whispered softly.

“I’m so happy to have you in my arms again. I missed you so god damn much.”

You smiled and replied back quietly.

“I did too...but I’m here now...and I’m not going anywhere.”

Jason’s arms tightened around you before loosening gently, and you bit your lip before whispering to him.

“You know...I’m proud of you, Dad.”

Your father pulled back, his brow raising slightly as he asked curiously.

“Why do you say that?”

You gave your dad a small half-smile.

“You allowed yourself to let Grandpa in. I know it hasn’t been easy between you two, and I know that for a long time, you were angry with him...so, in a way, it wasn’t just me that was doing some healing. We were all doing some healing.”

-THIRD POV-

In the Elder Temple of Isaf, Nazeem’s blind eyes softened as his lips curled back into a small smile. As he watched the scene from the small bird bath-like table, a small tear dropping into the water, causing ripples to distort the image. Hasan smiled at Nazeem before saying.

“ Ar-Rā'iyu, you did well.”

The god of dreams and prophecy scoffed, shaking his head as he looked at Hasan, his eyes stern but loving as the ghost of a smile lit his lips.

“No, Nuhm, you did well.”

The guardian god chuckled, patting Ar-Rā'iyu on the back before glancing into the waters, watching as the Batfamily joked and laughed with each other, happy and content with each other and with life.

“I wouldn’t say this was my doing. In fact...I think this was all her, brother. Though, I do have to agree with her on one thing.”

Ar-Rā'iyu looked at Nuhm, asking.

“And what is that?”

“We were all doing healing here.”

The gods smiled before looking into the waters, Ar-Rā'iyu whispering.

“I am glad we were able to save this girl...her soul is so bright. It would have been devastating to have lost her to the darkness.”

“You know that we would have gotten her back.”

The god shook his head, looking at Nuhm with solemn eyes.

“Not without a war, which I do believe is on the rise whether or not He has her soul. I can see it, Nuhm...bloodshed and heartbreak...there is thunder on the horizon.”

Nuhm’s shoulders tensed before he shook his head, suggesting as he turned the two of them back to the pool of water.

“Let us not worry about that now, Ar-Rā'iyu . For now...let us be happy as they are.”

Ar-Rā'iyu glanced at Nuhm before he relaxed, smiling and nodding.

“Yes...happy.”

-READER POV-

Your father’s eyebrows furrowed and he closed his eyes, muttering as he shook his head.

“God dammit, would everyone stop making me cry!”

You smiled widely, and Jason sniffled, whispering to you after a moment of collecting himself.

“We were all doing some healing, but you were the one teaching us how to.”

You rolled your eyes, but you were flattered and honored, nonetheless. Laying your head against his shoulder once more, you sighed before closing your eyes.

“I love you, (Y/n). Thank you for showing me how to heal.”

“Thank you for being my strength too, Dad.”

Yes, life was beautiful. It was precious and imperfect. However, there was always a paradise at the end of every path. There was always a home for you to find, whether it was far from your grasp or right there in front of you. Nevertheless, no matter what happened, no matter the hardships you went through, no matter how far east you strayed, you would always find your way back to Eden.

“The Hebrew word, the word timshel - 'Thou mayest' - that gives a choice. It might be the most important word in the world. That says the way is open...Why, that makes a man great...He can choose his course and fight it through and win...I have a new love for that glittering instrument, the human soul. It is a lovely and unique thing in the universe. It is always attacked and never destroyed - because 'Thou mayest'.”

John Steinbeck, East of Eden

[END]

Permanent Tagging List/East Of Eden Tag List (these have honestly just turned into the permanent tag list laksdf;alksdf whoever was tagged for JUST east of eden, please tell me so I don’t mistakenly tag you in anything else I post):

@amnahs9695 @cuddlysteven @voltaiire @shuris-wakanda@thatawesomenerdygirl@euphoricgukk @prancingdestiel @frida-marie (it’s not letting me tag you) @rcbinwcrld @thatawesomenerdygirl @hi-this-is-my-blog (It’s not letting me tag you) @addicted-to-dc @crazyfreckledginger@jasonsredhoody @conspiracy-teen @an-all-write-life @maroongoon

#Jason Todd #Reader #Jason Todd & Daughter! Reader #Jason Todd x Reader #Red Hood #Red Hood & Daughter! Reader #Red Hood x Reader #East of Eden

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riichardwilson · 5 years ago

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How To Convince Others Not To Use Dark Patterns

About The Author

Paul is a leader in conversion rate optimisation and user experience design thinking. He has over 25 years experience working with clients such as Doctors … More about Paul …

Arguing that dark patterns are unethical is not enough on its own. We will also need to make the case to clients and colleagues that they are damaging to business.

You are a smart, well-informed person. After all, you are reading Smashing Magazine so you must be. That means you are probably already convinced that you should avoid dark patterns. Maybe you have even read the new Smashing book on Ethical Design that drives the point home.

However, just because we understand that we should avoid dark patterns, doesn’t mean our clients and colleagues do. No doubt you have been asked more than once to implement these questionable techniques by an ill-informed stakeholder.

Unfortunately, it can be hard to convince them that dark patterns are a terrible idea. Talking about ethics often isn’t enough.

The problem is that a lot of our colleagues and clients are under tremendous pressure to deliver. Business owners need to pay the bills, while many marketing agency executives in larger organizations are under immense pressure to deliver results.

In that kind of environment, people can convince themselves of anything. The ethical argument becomes muddied as people persuade themselves that they aren’t forcing anybody to do anything.

So in this post, we will put together a compelling argument you can present to stakeholders to help them understand why dark patterns are a bad idea.

However, before we do that, let’s agree on a definition of dark patterns.

How do we encourage clicks without shady tricks? Meet Click, our new practical handbook on how to increase conversion and drive sales without alienating people along the way. By Paul Boag. May 2020.

Jump to the details ↬

How Do We Define A Dark Pattern

Suzanne Scacca has written an excellent post showing examples of dark patterns and you probably already have a clear idea in your mind of what they are.

However, for this article, I am going use the definition from my article on dark patterns:

“User interface elements that have been carefully crafted to trick users into doing things they might not otherwise do, often utilizing psychological manipulation.”

We need to be clear on our definition because increasingly, I am seeing people refer to anything that is annoying on the web as a dark pattern. For example, an overlay may be very annoying, but it does not necessarily trick users into doing something they might not otherwise do.

This page is designed to trick people into adding insurance to their order by making the button green and having it point onwards. (Large preview)

I point this out, not to say those people are wrong in their definition, but rather because the arguments I lay out here would not all apply to a broader definition of what a dark pattern is.

So what exactly is that argument?

The Business Case Against Dark Patterns

If you want to convince stakeholders that dark patterns are a terrible idea, there is little point talking about their negative impact on the user experience. That is typically too abstract for most people. Instead, we need to frame things in terms they will understand — the negative impact of dark patterns for them personally and for the entire business.

Aside from the ethical considerations of using dark patterns, three factors make them a wrong choice for any business concerned about long-term revenue, and by extension, anybody in that business considering adopting them. These are:

The fact that consumers are cynical, savvy and spoilt for choice.

That the web has empowered consumers.

The hidden costs of dark patterns.

These are the arguments that you can bring to clients and management so let’s explore them in more depth.

Consumers Are Cynical, Savvy And Spoilt For Choice

You only need to watch an episode of Mad Men to know that manipulation in sales and marketing agency has been around much longer than the web.

Brands always used to be able to get away with manipulation because consumers were mostly unaware of being manipulated. Even if they did realize, the choice was limited, and so there was very little they could do. That is no longer true. The web has changed that.

We need to help management realize the fact that consumers have changed. That in every consumer’s pocket is instant access to every other company on the planet that offers the same thing as you. It is so easy to find your competitors and so simple to swap that one small annoyance is enough to make people switch.

Of course, management might take the cynical attitude that if people are unaware that they are manipulating them, then they won’t be annoyed and so won’t swap to a competitor.

In truth, the assumption that people are unaware of manipulation is incorrect.

There is a tendency to think that because dark patterns work (and let’s be clear they do) that people are unaware of them. However, that isn’t necessarily so.

A case in point is a usability test I ran on a hotel booking site which employed dark patterns. As the user was looking at hotel rooms, he commented on how he hated all the manipulative techniques the website used. I asked him why he used the site, and he said: “I just ignore all of that stuff.”

In reality, he probably didn’t. It would still impact his buying decision on a sub-conscious level. Yes, he was unaware the manipulation was working. However, he was aware the site was employing it, and so it created that adverse reaction in him.

Users are much savvier than we give them credit for. Don’t forget they have the whole of human knowledge in their pockets, and they read articles about Facebook’s psychological manipulations or BBC stories about Government intervention over the techniques hotel booking sites were employing. They know that websites are attempting to manipulate them, and that makes it likely they will at least consider going elsewhere.

The media is ensuring that consumers are increasingly aware of dark patterns. (Large preview)

However, there is an even more significant danger in them knowing that a site is attempting to manipulate them.

The Power Of The Consumer

The web hasn’t just made consumers savvier and given them more access to choice. It has also provided them with a platform to complain, and companies continue to underestimate that.

Even one disgruntled customer can have a significant negative impact on a brand. I often talk to clients about the story of Hasan Syed, who was unhappy with British Airways. He decided to take out a promoted tweet that read:

“Don’t fly @BritishAirways. Their customer service is horrendous.”

The fallout of this one action was enormous for British Airways with the story featuring on the BBC, Guardian, Fox News, the Express and Telegraph, to name just a few.

One disgruntled company can undermine a brand. (Large preview)

Things get even more dangerous when users start coming together to express their dissatisfaction, such as when Facebook was found to have carried out psychological experiments on their users.

The voice of users has become so powerful now that it motivates government into action such as with the Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) here in the UK. They recently announced:

“The CMA has taken enforcement action to bring to an end misleading sales tactics, hidden charges and other practices in the online hotel booking market. These have been wholly unacceptable.”

Worst of all, the web means these negative comments from users never go away. They are always only a search away and easily accessible thanks to sites like Check a Trade or Trip Advisor.

Sites like Trustpilot provide a platform for consumers to express their feelings about an online experience. (Large preview)

In business terms, this leads to lost long-term revenue, less repeat orders, and harder customer acquisition. However, these are not the only costs of manipulation.

The Hidden Cost Of Manipulation

At face value, dark patterns work. If you use them on your website, you will see an increase in users taking action. However, that does not tell the whole story because for every dollar of additional revenue earned; dark patterns could well be costing you more. The problem is that you cannot easily see the costs.

Take, for example, a company I worked with who sold kettles. They decided to automatically add their kettle filters to people’s carts when they went to buy a kettle. That is a classic dark pattern people don’t always notice that the company has added the filter.

Sure enough, the sales of filters skyrocketed, and the e-commerce team was pleased because they were one step closer to meeting their targets.

Unfortunately what they were not aware of was what was happening elsewhere in the company.

The marketing agency team who ran the companies social media channels found themselves having to spend time addressing complaints on Twitter and Facebook.

The customer support team received an increase in calls asking for refunds or complaining. Each call was costing the company £3.21, more than the profit margin on the filters.

Then there was the cost of processing the returns. Filters had to be assessed and then restocked, costing yet more money.

In short, dark patterns are rarely as profitable as they first appear and could be costing the company money, even outside of the online backlash.

Without a doubt, there is a solid business case against the use of dark patterns. However, an academic argument may not be enough to sway clients or colleagues. You might need something more tangible.

Gather Your Evidence

If your company has yet to start using dark patterns, the above argument should help. However, if they are already using them, getting people to change their minds will be tougher. You will probably need some evidence to support your case.

Gathering this evidence will need a bit of detective work on your part, but it could make all of the difference in making your case. With that in mind, where are some places to look?

Search Out Negative Comments

The first place to look is online. Search out every negative comment you can find about dark patterns and your website. If you don’t see any that doesn’t mean people are unhappy, it just means they haven’t shared it publicly yet. However, if you do find comments, they probably represent the feelings of many, many other people.

A simple search on social media will uncover lots of examples of people annoyed by dark patterns. (Large preview)

Talk To Other Teams In Your Company

Speak to those in customer services, returns, marketing agency or any other department that might have been impacted by the use of dark patterns. Ask them if they have noticed any changes since the company has implemented them. As with the kettle company, you might find some hidden costs.

Run Usability Testing

Ask some people to use your site and see how they react to the dark patterns. I would advise against leading the testers by asking directly about the dark patterns. However, you can ask whether there is anything about the website they dislike or find annoying.

Make sure you record these sessions too, as nothing is more potent than seeing just how frustrated and irritated people get with these kinds of techniques.

Run A Survey

Another approach is to run a survey asking people about their impressions of the website. Did they find it trustworthy? Do they feel the company is putting their interests first?

One particular survey I favor is one that shows on exit-intent if the user decides not to take action. The one question survey asks them why they chose not to take action and offers them a list of alternatives.

A simple survey can help assertion how dark patterns are influencing people’s attitude towards your website. (Large preview)

One of the options could be that the site felt manipulative or untrustworthy. That would give you an indication of if users are aware of the dark patterns and whether they are influencing the buying decision negatively.

That works even better if you can compare answers between users who have seen the dark patterns and those who haven’t.

Of course, the best evidence of all is where you can tie dark patterns to financial loss for the company. That is not always easy to do, but with some educated guessing, we can often estimate.

Let’s imagine one in ten people who completed the exit-intent survey said that they didn’t act because the site felt manipulative. That would mean that by dropping dark patterns, the site could see 10% more people taking action. If you know the number of visitors to the website, you can work out how many extra orders that would be. You can then also work out the average value of each order, and that provides a financial cost of dark patterns.

Would that number be 100% accurate? Absolutely not. However, it would be enough to make stakeholders stop and think. At least it will if you present it in the right way.

Pick Your Moment And Method

In my experience, one of the significant reasons that our appeals to drop dark patterns fall on deaf ears is that we approach it in a confrontational manner. We argue passionately for the removal of dark patterns in a meeting, often with the person who introduced them in the first place. That is never going to end well.

When we confront people in this way, they become defensive, especially when you are criticizing them in front of colleagues.

My recommendation is that once you have formed your argument and gathered your evidence that you speak to each of the critical stakeholders individually.

Not only does this approach avoid people feeling attacked in a public forum, but it also allows you to tailor the argument you present for whoever you are talking to.

For example, if you are talking to a marketing agency person, you could talk about the damage dark patterns have on a brand. However, if you are talking to a finance person, you can discuss the hidden costs of dark patterns.

Most of all, we need to make these arguments with sensitivity. We should not imply that stakeholders were wrong to suggest or try dark patterns. That is simply too confrontational.

You will see better results if you talk about the evidence that you have uncovered and the research into the subject that you have done online. Talk about it being a nuanced issue and a delicate balance to achieve. In short, be conciliatory, rather than confrontational.

I am not claiming that if you adopt the approach outlined in this article, you will see success every time. However, I do believe you will see more progress than lecturing colleagues about ethics and applying that they are unethical in their approach.

(ra, il)

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Delray Beach SEO

source http://www.scpie.org/how-to-convince-others-not-to-use-dark-patterns/ source https://scpie.tumblr.com/post/618038189514457088

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scpie · 5 years ago